#I’m the one with anxiety and shit

[why-the-heck-not]

Starting to almost wish I could just go do this fucking presentation today solely bc I’m getting mad and tired of the anxiety, how is it physically possible to be this anxious for so many days straight. There has to be a limit how long u can be on the verge of an anxiety attack like ????

#it’s stupid #cant sleep cant eat over ’’ppl are paying attention to me for 20minutes or so’’ #i hate this so so much #bc like I KNOW it’s overreacting and unreasonable and it never is as bad as I think but knowing that won’t do shit for the anxiety #like it will he here until I’m back home tmrw after having presented it #at least it’s only like a day of this anymore but I don’t have the energy for this for even one more goddamn minute #literally what could happen in that presentation that would be worse than feeling like this?? #the realistic worst case possible is that I lose my train of thought or have a ’’brain doesnt work’’ moment and have to take like 20secs to #gather myself and like maybe if someone asks a question I don’t have an answer to #but like I won’t die or anything #even if it’d be awkward (it will be awkward) that’s legit nothing #I’m ’’just some guy’’ to the ppl and after leaving the building they’ll never think abt my stupid ass presentation again #so wHY cant I fucking chill #april 2024 #2024

[sunnibits]

!!!!!!

#holy shit. I just got into college #not the cool art school but still. /A/college. #holy fuck I’m so relieved right now #I have been absolutely crippled by anxiety and unable to make college progress for like two years #and I’ve been so fucking scared of missing the deadlines and having to wait another year to apply #but I finally did it. I got in. I can fucking breathe. I’m going SOMEWHERE. #I officially just overcame one of the worst anxiety hurdles of my entire life. holy fuck

[noodle-artist]

Me every time I check in on the Batman comics:

#excuse me Bruce did what now #he did what to Jason?! #he purposely gave him crippling anxiety #like implanted that in his BRAIN #wtfff is this #this is actually exactly like that episode of BTAS #where dick got that toxin that ham made him see shit everytime his adrenaline spiked #I’ve heard that it’s Bruce and not Bruce but i don’t care these writers need to get their shit together #wth is this #only props I’ll give is that dick beats the shit out of bruce for this #this is just … not okay #what #I can’t #just that one panel of Jason #… I’m scared … #like WTF #so Bruce basically gave Jason modified fear toxin permanently #jason todd #Bruce #Batman #red hood #dick grayson

[bonewhiteglory]

I started volunteering in my friend’s kindergarten last month and like… I love these kids so much it’s unreal. They’re so sweet and weird! One of the kids drew me this killer Mario art and I’m gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.

#bonewhiteglory.jpeg #helper teacher #as my friend christina dubbed me #i’m really really happy i can sit down one-on-one with the kids who are struggling with a new concept #i mean this very genuinely: it is my dream to spend several minutes helping them understand that 5 is not greater than 5 #there’s a lot to learn!! it’s kind of overwhelming #i am notoriously patient and kind. people frequently tell me i have big kindergarten teacher vibes #i’ve been there long enough that i’m getting a good sense of all the kids’ personalities #i have mixed feelings abt posting anecdotes on the internet bc idk privacy etc etc but seriously look at how great this art is!!! #thank fuck i can turn off reblogs. #i’m gonna frame this and hang it over my desk :3 #i had no idea 5 year olds were SO BOSSY. it’s great! they’re explaining the rules to me and they’re very patient with me #i’m getting to know kids from the other classes too. i do yard/lunch duty as well. not much $ but it’s sufficient for my needs #anyway… that’s my story #at great length. dunno why i put all this in the tags and not the actual post but lbr i’m mad tired #oh yah i’m happy to share stories in DMs once i get over my social anxiety shit.

[randomrandy]

There is a fine line between legitimate concern and an ocd obsession and I’m nearsighted as shit.

#on the one hand applying sunscreen frequently when your on the beach is important #cause like skin cancer and shit #on the other hand I have no idea if I’m worrying about it a normal amount or an excessive amount #my family seems to be super nonchalant about it #at least compared to me #so maybe I’m overreacting cause mental illness? #it also could just be plain old anxiety #either way I forgot sunscreen this time and I am Worried but unsure how Worried #ocd #actually ocd

[starredforlife]

sorry I’m just actually sick to death of being told I’m intimidating . I know it’s scary when a woman talks without apologizing for herself constantly but maybe uhhhhh grow up!!!

#I’m not Scary on purpose literally I don’t fucking. growl at people #I don’t glare at them or be mean #can I be condescending? sure. it’s something I’m working on. #but how is it that I get demonized for this and straight men get way with it fucking constantly. and it’s an accepted and sometimes beloved #part of them #if one more fucking person tells me I’m intimidating bc I speak clearly and ask questions I’m going to lose my fucking mind #star’s thoughts #sorry this is a culmination of a bunch of shit lol #just bc I’m not scared of you doesn’t mean you need to be scared of me 😭😭😭😭😭 pleaseeee #part of me is thinking I’ve just been experiencing like intense lesbophobia or smthn at this point bc what the fuck #do I do that offends people off the bat. #but then I remember how I Am and rumors are true I border on the line of arrogance I dance on the showboat I flirt harshly with confidence #I think I have an issue where people have to earn my respect in conversation #and that is rightfully intimidating. probably some kind of protective tactic #I command it but also I demand you Show Up upfront and I can see how that’s like. anxiety inducing #I’m shifting to try and offer that respect upfront instead and hopefully that’ll make people feel less on edge #this has been like. a mini diary. sorry lol

[h8ani]

PSA to anyone who wants to comment on someone’s piece of writing. Try not to say “I didn’t read it but…” then proceed to put your unwanted, unneeded, and unprovoked criticism. Because if I got that comment a few years ago I wouldn’t have just blocked, I would’ve said what I wanted to and not blink twice. So unless it’s asked for, don’t critique the story, how it’s written, etc. some people would stop writing all together off of that, especially if it was a fic they were particularly proud of.

#this ain’t even discourse #but I am lowkey venting #this shit just pissed me tf off #and talking about “I have anxiety I’m sorry #like shut up bruh I’m not the mf one

[queenofallimagines]

now what if I wrote a Sae itoshi x black reader hurt and comfort smut fic??? What then??🤨

#thinking thoughts #blue lock x black reader #like no bc I saw something and I’m like?? #what if we make it black woman w a hint of neurodivergent?? #bc I feel like this is something a fresh relationship with him would happen? #it would be switch Sae but in the beginning he’s a whiney sub #mentions of like black Woman w anxiety and public perception #this shit is in my head rent FREE #very comfort for black Woman #sae itoshi is bad at feelings HEAVY #I have literally 5 Long ass Fics in progress at ONE TIME #and I’m thinking about starting another??😭 #I have to at LEAST finish the Lucifer one first!!🙂 #promise yall I’m not gone again I’m like trying to remember how to read and write😔✊🏿 #I’m Jared 18 never learned how to fucking read #Sae stands on BUISNESS and do NOT play about you #shidou dont either

[wekillitwithfire]

truly something so empowering in just saying ‘fuck it we ball’. what a life changing mentality

#i’m a whole lot braver than i used to be #like of course the fear (anxiety) is still there but i’ve gotten a whole lot better at managing working through it #and often this is just brute-forcing my way through the anxiety. and that’s by saying fuck it we ball and just doing it scared #what’s gonna happen? i’m gonna embarrass myself? WHATEVER! i’ve embarrassed myself so many times in my life #it’s a regular part of my routine at this point. this is the nature of finding your place in this world. being clumsy and stupid. #this isn’t to say that anxiety doesn’t hold me back from things still. it definitely still absolutely does #i do some ridiculous shit because of anxiety #such as. oh shit i started walking the wrond direction. well i cant just turn around in the middle of the sidewalk ill look stupid. #i’ll just do a full loop around this building to turn myself around #fucking stupid. and very real thing that i have done. #i’m also weird about not knowing where i’m going inside a building. i get scared to walk around to look for a bathroom #ESPECIALLY in restaurants. i always ask where the restroom is before looking for it if i can’t see it from my seat #but then i realize im just walking and no one cares and im so brave

[haleyincarnate]

I feel like such a captive to my mental health.

#went to the science museum with some friends for one of their birthdays and we wanted to see the space film in the dome #which the dome is a massive theater where the screen wraps around the ceiling and such #and we took some edibles beforehand to have fun and I didn’t even take like half #and it wasn’t even that but my motion sickness made the first ten minutes so unbearable that I had to leave #and I had an anxiety attack on the way home like the first real one in like months #it’s a great reassuring thing to have happen when I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety with actually doing shit and interacting w people #I feel like I failed but like the first part was good at least??? #my mom gave me money to get lunch on the way back and I couldn’t even stop I was shaking and felt like passing out #godDAMMIT dude I was doing so good #anyway I’m gonna relax because I’m exhausted now and I ordered jimmy john’s so I didn’t have to go out #fucking anxiety #hmh

[bimiio]

tryin soo hard not 2 post abt getting spitroasted again

#I NEED IT #so so sooo bad #i need 2 have sex so i can stop posting abt da same shit over n overr😭 #i’m goin 2 sapphic night at a sex club next month :3 #i’m praying 4 either an older butch (10+ years older at least but like preferably 20+ years older) #i’d looooove 2 get spitroasted but i dunno if i’m ready 4 dat especially not w two strangers #like i don’t think i’d b relaxed enuff 2 enjoy it i’d her performance anxiety #get* #one day tho after i’ve had more sex :3 #i just need 2 b fucked SOON y’all please😭 #i’ve still never been strapped either so… #40+ silver fox butch who wants 2 break me in i am manifesting u #m1n3 #m1sc #nsft #femme4butch #spitroasting

[stealingyourbones]

The want and urge to animate an eldritch horror Danny Phantom is so strong and yet I don’t have the artistic skill or knowledge of particular types of animation to fully do the idea in my mind justice

#bones speaks #you know that one arg channel? _Boisvert #that one #the angel from that #that’s the best way to describe what’s going on in my head #I feel the need to animate and not draw it bc drawing it won’t show the extent of the *wrongness* ya know #angels say ‘be not afraid’ for a damn reason when first meeting people and I need Danny to have the same vibe #sorta holy or divine and visually goes beyond human comprehension so much so that we can only see what our brain can best process #which is to say: some creepy ass bullshit of an amalgam horror creature of colossal size and power #When I look at Eldritch Horror Danny it needs to be so much overstimulation of shit going on that I instantly start dissociating #it needs to be so much at the same time that it genuinely makes you mentally break #if you check out that ARG channel: be warned that it’s main theme is depression and hopelessness. it may send you into a depressive spiral. #it has frightening and VERY unnerving imagery along with religious themes and gore and a LOT of staring #just so y’all know and I don’t accidentally make y’all dissociate or anythin cause that shit nearly instantly makes me lose touch w reality #like I should enjoy watching it bc it genuinely makes me feel bad and yet the curiosity of such an interesting take of the medium an just- #it’s just so cool ya know? stuff Beyond Comprehension and exsistential dread is just FASCINATING. #like Everywhere at the End of Time #that shit? instantly makes me have an anxiety attack and makes me off the rest of the day. #do I find it incredibly intriguing and on the occasion listen to it again knowing damn well that I’m setting myself up for a shitty day? yes #it’s just sO COOL #audio format of dementia is beautifully haunting. I worked for a time volunteering helping dimentia patients. some of them… #they were hollow. empty shells of a person that when I saw them all I could visualize was that awful static from the album just going on and #on forever. there was nothing left. that shit and morality scares the SHIT out of me and equally entices me #tw dissociation #tw memory loss #tw dementia

[kabutone]

public nuisance shit is so ANNOYYINGGGG it’s not FUNNY stop DISTURBING PEOPLE FOR UR TIKTOKS

#listen i’m the biggest tiktok defender. i love that shit #AND. i also. used to be a big public nuisance. it Is funny when ur brain is less developed #and ppl in the comments are like ‘social anxiety is scared of her’ NO JTS NOT #MANNERS ARE SCARED OF HER #like i know i am the least socially anxious bitch ever but. i stopped being annoying in public not bc im socially anxious but #bc it’s fucking rude wth?? 😭 #there’s this girl i forgot her handle but she only has two jokes. it’s either a. asking people to hold her phone for a tiktok #and then getting on all fours and charging at them #That one is funny i will admit . ur still bothering the person filming but it’s funny #or b. asking someone to hold her phone for a tiktok and then SCREAMMMINGGGG hound dog in a public place #that’s. kind of annoying. just cringe cause you’re bothering large amounts of ppl on purpose #i saw a tiktok of a girl singing LOUDLY in the gym and filming herself #and in the comments someone asked if she knew the people behind her #and she was like ‘not yet! but i’m hoping to make new friends!’ girl you’re annoying.

[devilishdelights]

now m just thinking abt trans woman lucifer and how it just fits and makes me feel so many things.

#oiuuhghh lucifer has always got to be my favorite character trope? in media. #always got a soft spot for em (except supernatural’s. gross) #me holding my two Lucifer coded ocs and giggling gleefully #not obey me lucifer. like Bible lucifer. I’m agnostic bordering very much atheist so the Bible really is just a fun little fantasy book 2 me #just taking the basis of the story and running with it and making him a sympathetic character. #however I still do got anxiety though. when I end up meeting the real thing #n he’s atrocious and awful and laughing at me. sorry for making little guys and using ur lore for inspo 🙄🙄🙄🙄 suck my dick #doesn’t he technically still work for god though….. I thought u hated the guy………anyway. #tags ended up completely unrelated to the post I’m just thinking thoughts. #there’s actual real like. introspection or whatever into it but I’m too tired to think articulate thoughts. #mammon is my nonbinary lesbian girlboyfriend. nonbinary lesbian 4 nonbinary lesbian W #beel is trans 2 me…. belphie is Agender or smth. I’m projecting on tht one leave me alone #Ik it’s very basic but I do really like genderfluid asmo #I gotta write shit down someday #I do also like agender lucifer (projecting again)

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[akkivee]

i feel very seen as someone who draws buff kuukou lmao

#this is vee speaking #the arb chronicles #i also feel very insane looking at this but that’s just the usual vee perogative at play lol #kuukou seems to get put into loose fit clothing but one day the official artists will wake up and draw the snatched waist i know he has LOL #it’s actually funny i’ve been wanting to compare waistlines between bat because it genuinely looks like kuukou’s bigger than hitoya lmao #whereas what i visualise while drawing them is that hitoya is bigger on principle of being both a bigger man and a stocky body type #and kuukou has an hourglass figure lmao #jyushi’s upside down triangle to me lol and once his body starts developing muscle it’ll be more apparent and less twig lol #but anyway lol the chuuoku women have rightfully claimed my brain but i really like the event!!!!!!!! kuukou’s outfit notwithstanding lol #like kuukou invited himself to stay at the dohifu abode for a month lmao!!!!!! hifumi taught kuukou how to pose and walk the catwalk!!!!!!! #in an odd tabled the turns hifumi was the one apologising for someone else’s behaviour lmao!!!!!!! #i finally got the saburo kuukou interaction of my dreams!!!!! saburo the prickly kid and kuukou the one who ignores that shit lol!!!! #the way kuukou could tell saburo has performance anxiety issues and talked him thru it #while also addressing saburo hiding himself behind ichiro’s name and telling him to be proud of who saburo is I AM— I CANNOT— HELP ME— #saburo: i literally don’t want to hear something like that from you!!!!!! 🤢 #kuukou: lol a prickly bastard til the end huh? well i don’t hate that kinda stubbornness 😈 #saburo is now bad ass temple’s baby brother i’m sorry i don’t make the rules #AND LOL after some terrorists crashed the show and ran off before anyone could fight anybody since they got scared seeing bat bb mtr #kuukou invited everyone to a meal at a temple on hitoya’s dime LMAO #hitoya: WHAT??? jakurai: thank you for treating us hitoya 🤗 hitoya: NO YOURE HELPING ME PAY 💢 #c: kuukou👑