#I’m so sad that you don’t think friendships are important. you should get better friends. my friends are cool as hell.

[yawntutsyip]

Rotxo x Ao’nung’s Twin Sister

Warnings: Not proof read, super messy,

AN: This was just something a came up for a story but I’m too lazy to write it out 🤭❤️ also Rotxo has been on my mind 😦 feeling like giggling and kicking my feet he’s so precious

masterlist

You always hung out with Ao’nung and Rotxo with their friends.

Rotxo always thought you were pretty and would blush every time he saw you

He also tends to talk about you or bring you up because your always on his mind

“Oh look at these shell I found at the bottom, aren’t these (Y/N)’s favorite?

“This fruit is delicious, do you think (Y/N) would like some?”

Ao’nung was not oblivious, he saw right through Rotxo, knowing he had a thing for his sister.

Ao’nung at first didn’t like it because ew gross my sister? and she’s so annoying how could you like her? There’s better girls

Plus there was the hidden protective brother in him that he hides

But he knows Rotxo would treat you well, he trust Rotxo as that is his best friend

One day he was sitting down with Rotxo as they were sharpening spears and decided this would be a good time to bring it up

“Rotxo…do you like my sister?”

Rotxo was shocked, had he been that obvious? Did you know?!? Was Ao’nung gonna be mad?

Rotxo searched Ao’nung’s face for any frown or a hint of anger but there was nothing but a calm look

Finally mustering up the courage he told Ao’nung yes,

“I like (Y/N)…she is the most beautiful Metkayina girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Since day once of meeting you guys I feel in love with her and all her little quirks she has. (He went on more to talk about you)

Ao’nung was like Rotxo shut up that’s gross I don’t want to hear you talk about my sister like that.

Ao’nung also was like, since your my bro and I’m also tired of having my sister moan and groan about being lonely I’ll help you ig 😒

They came up with a plan together, they set up a whole thing with flower petals and cut fruit and candles and shit (it was cute)

Ao’nung is gonna distract his parents while he has Tsireya sneak you out to go meet Rotxo

Rotxo will be waiting and confess is undying love

THEN BAM KISS KISS MUAH YOUR TOGETHER

Yeah, so that’s how they thought is was gonna go..

When Ao’nung was trying to distract his parents Tsireya had already been passed out 💀 she was tired so then he switched up and was like

Actually you know how responsible (Y/N) is? Like you should have her to take a walk, ACTUALLY I WILL take my lovely sister on a walk let us have some bonding time yeah?

They were like “bond here. Wtf? It’s late”

Yeah this wasn’t working.

Rotxo has been sitting there holding the flowers he had picked for you in hand.

“where the heck are they? I’ve been here for 20 mins now… Oh no!? Did (Y/N) not want to come and meet me?”

POOR BABY

Your parents were fed up with Ao’nungs ranting about random shit tryna come up with a good reason as to why you need to go out this late so they were like boy if you don’t stfu and tell us that trouble your tryna get up into

At this point Ao’nung was fed up too because he was like DAMN CAN WE JUST LEAVE? THERES SOMETHING IMPORTANT ABOUT TO HAPPEN

But they were all interrupted by Rotxo coming in with a sad pout “BEFORE ANY WORDS ARE SPOKEN I MUST TALK!”

“(Y/N) I can’t hide my feelings forver from you, you mean the world to me and I don’t want our friendship to be ruined. I’m sorry that I love you but please if you would like we can forget about all this and continue being friends.” He was talking his heart out.

Your whole family just stood there shocked.

You were blushing like crazy and go up to hug Rotxo, you also had a crush on him

Yea the whole “my brothers best friend” troupe

“Rotxo what are you talking about I didn’t say anything yet, I like you too!”

He was like “what really?!”

Ao’nung was mad cuz they literally had to come up with a whole ass plan only for y’all to just be like “yo I like you” “I like you to”

ANWAYS he was just happy y’all were together now

But he was still disgusted

Also your parents approved of it because they knew how much of a good boy Rotxo is

The end

#atwow #avatar the way of water #atwow x reader #atwow imagine #avatar x reader #x reader #avatar #rotxo x reader #aonung x reader #rotxo imagine #☆ — rotxo ˖˚⊹

[cupidl0vesy0u]

I know my following is small, and everything was already said, but I just wanted to say something.

Just so y’all know, this is probably gonna a be long post ->

———

I as a lot of people love qsmp for it’s magic of getting people from around the world speaking and forming friendship together. And learning each other’s cultures in such a different ways.

I know I’m probably not the only one, but I’m not someone who’s from English speaking countries (America and such), I been always ‘forced’ to use English if I needed to buy or talk to someone in online spaces. And even if my culture is not that massive as others i know the pain of being made fun for my language or even country.

It’s been a lot of times I been called Russian, and getting sexualized for my looks and our countries history with them. Or people not wanting to learn and forgetting my own countries existence.

When Quackity started to stream more in Spanish I felt happiness and even if I didn’t understand him, I still tried to look for translation but only found angry comments how he should talk in English, and stopped talking Taco Bell. (I will never forgot these ‘jokes’ I know it’s hard for people who don’t know the struggle, but it still feels really disrespectful…)

But seeing this project showing people the magic of others culture, even if mine wasn’t there… I felt loved.

When Chayanne showed Germans traditions that was really similar to mine, I felt happiness at the way everyone loved it.

When new people showed up and everyone tried to learn how to say hello in their language or didn’t spoke English and used the translation instead.

I love seeing how all of their English got better or the ability to try to learn different languages even if there’s translation available.

—

I love this community and as someone who loved dsmp I really know how much this hurts.

But don’t worry! We still have each other, we made art and expressed what made it all even greater then it already was. I really appreciate you writers, artists, people who do cosplay and even people who didn’t had the courage to interact publicly in the fandom like me until now.

And the most important the Admins! I really appreciate you and what you did, even if its only giving life to ‘characters’ you played. You helped me with sadness I been feeling for while, and i think I’m not only one who said this but I wish you the best of luck on future projects, even if you decided to never interact with qsmp again.

I loved and still love this community we made, even if it had it’s downs and ups.

I will not leave, but I will try focusing on my own mental health and everyone who needs it.

I’m not comfortable with venting but if anyone just wants to talk about fanart or just have their mind on something else, feel free to dm me! I’m really bad at this, but I know it’s hard if your someone who didn’t interact online or doesn’t have irl friends or someone to talk this through with.

I know there’s probably a lot of grammar mistakes but I just wanted to share my love to everyone who was really feeling down with all this stuff happening.

I love you qsmp and even if this is the end or the new start. ❤️

#qsmp #qsmp discourse #qsmp discussion #qadmin situation #thank you quackity #thank you every admin that helped this project grow #thanks everyone here #I’m from Czech Republic if anyone wants to know why I mentioned being called Russian #i know it’s not that deep #but it really hurts #hyperfixation #qsmp admins #quackity

[compassionatereminders]

Hello there! I need friendship advice. So i made a new friend last year and we immediately hit it off and became best friends. it was nice to feel prioritised and special and feeling secure in this friendship. but now i feel like i’m not as important to him anymore and other people always come first. we still hang out and text but it’s just not the same anymore, just doesn’t feel as close anymore and i feel sad about it. i can’t really change anything about it cause he can do whatever he wants. so i don’t even want to say anything cause it’s just me being sad about the change, he didn’t do anything wrong. i just don’t know how to deal with my emotions. it makes me feel like i’m not good enough or other people are better than me. and i’m afraid that i’ll become less and less important to him. i try to get over myself but lately i’ve just been getting sad when we hang out

I genuinely think you should like. Try to have a conversation about it. Not one full of accusations and blame, but let him know that you've been feeling insecure lately and why. Because in my experience "feeling like they don't care" isn't always synonymous with them not caring. It might just be you who are going through something and projecting it onto them in some capacity. And even if you're right about this, it's better to end things on a conversation than on some unspoken insecurity

#chat with kat

[seoafin]

please free to ignore this if you’re not comfortable talking about it but i saw in a previous post you mentioned in the tags that you got into a huge fight with your best friend last year because you felt she didn’t put in enough effort on her end and i feel like i’m on the brink of going through this right now 😭

i’ve been friends with this girl for over 13 years now and love her to death but sometimes i feel as if my presence gets taken for granted. i feel like she believes she doesn’t have to put in much effort into our friendship anymore because i’ve been around for so long so there’s no way i’m gonna leave…and i HATE it!! there’s so much i have to say but i don’t even know where to start.

this is also semi related to my feelings on this but we have a third friend as well who we consider our best friend (corny to say but we’re a trio) but i feel this way towards her too sometimes. these past few months she got in a relationship and she while she definitely talked to us, she talked to us less and less in favour of her boyfriend (uni def played a part in this but she talked to him daily while we were lucky if we heard from her) but this past week lots happened and they ended up breaking up. this is genuinely the most i’ve heard her talk about her life with us in MONTHS and while i’m glad she did i’m a little bitter that she realized she should break up with him after some guy she befriended told her how trashy he is while i’ve been telling her that for MONTHS for it to fall on deaf ears.

it’s so annoying and i feel so stupid constantly putting in all this effort into these friendships giving all this advice for it to be ignored and be reciprocated back in lazy ways (they both give horrible lazy advice to me the rare times i have asked for it and it ends up just making me feel stupid).

i actually don’t know what i wanted out of dumping this in your asks but i just feel a little insane currently and think i’m crazy and care too much about little things. i feel so obsessive over these friendships and every little thing that happens while i know those two don’t think twice about it 😭 i guess i’m asking for advice on how to be less co-dependent? idk but you definitely don’t need to answer this if you don’t want, i know it’s A LOT to unpack and ur not a therapist…it’s very weird i’m dumping this here i sincerely apologize…

i do hope you’re having a fantastic day!!

i think what helped me the most was the realization that (cue that tumblr post) you can't force reciprocation. sometimes relationships and friendships will fizzle out. in the end all you can do is look back on and appreciate the time you did spend with them. there's no such thing as a wasted relationship. the only thing i can say is talk to them! i know how exhausting it can be to continuously be the one reaching out and how sad it is thinking you're the only one with any stake in the relationship

if you decide that this is a relationship worth preserving then you need to sit them down and talk to them. if they still don't understand then it's not worth it. let them go! i will say upon talking to my friend she did promise to try more and do better. and while she hasn't completely done that 100% i think i was at a point in my life where i recognized that our friendship wasn't going to be the same as it was when we were constantly seeing each other almost every day in hs. i can't keep on holding on to the past when we're completely different people! i'd say we're in a good place now. not as close as we once were but close enough that i don't need to rely on her when i go through life crises. i also don't harbor any resentment towards her anymore. as for being less co-dependent i think it's important to still be able to talk about your problems to a friend but i wouldn't look for emotional fulfillment in them if that makes sense? either find another friend or acknowledge that the advice they offer you comes from a place that doesn't necessarily have your best interests. rant to them but don't hinge your hopes on emotional reciprocation or a resolution. sometimes, just talking helps! you don't need to seek out an answer. also taking up a hobby doesn't hurt.

#i will also say that the situation was a bit more layered because i felt #that my friend had ditched/replaced me for her elite intellectual [redacted] friends despite going to an elite college myself #so i just felt extremely inadequate seeing my friend who i thought like me found it hard to make friends suddenly having a group of friends #while i was alone in (redacted) #also i feel you about having a friend that does NOT listen to you about her bad taste in men god... SHIT SUCKS #long post #ask

[lurkingshan]

Be My Favorite 3&4

I fell behind on this show while traveling, but everyone is saying it keeps getting better, so time to catch up!

Episode 3

A sticking point for me in this narrative is I still don’t get why Pisaeng liked Kawi in the first place. Original Kawi was very uncharming. I can buy Pisaeng starting to fall for him now that he is getting to know him and Kawi is opening up, but before? We haven’t really seen anything that explains that initial attraction for Pisaeng, and it’s a pretty important story point since so much of the plot hinges on it. Maybe we’ll get a flashback inside the flashback at some point?

Pisaeng got very aggressive with this kiss in the present day. You can see why Kawi would freak even if homophobia wasn’t a factor. Still, it’s quite a choice to have Krist of all actors play his revulsion after being kissed by a man, complete with his patented mouth wipe. As I discussed with @ginnymoonbeam @bengiyo and @kyr-kun-chan, either they’re intentionally leaning into Krist’s reputation or they’re a bit tone deaf here.

I like it when the show engages more with the time travel conceit and how hard it would be to puzzle out. Kawi not being able to figure out what he should do to change the future is so real.

I like Max, Kawi needs someone in his life who won’t let him get away with shit.

Poor Pisaeng. He has no idea what his future self did but he’s the one being punished for it.

Pear is a nice person and Pisaeng needs to tell her he doesn’t like her. It’s sad to imagine he just went along with it in the original timeline.

Not sucks. Kawi is wrong, they do not need to talk it out. Pisaeng should just be done with this guy.

Ugh, Kawi, that was mean. I really feel for Pisaeng. He didn’t do anything in this timeline and it’d be hard to read Kawi’s actions as anything other than him picking up on Pisaeng’s feelings and rejecting him preemptively.

Instead of winning small lottery prizes, Kawi should be investing in stock. Think smart!

Episode 4

I love this conversation between Max and Kawi. I’m glad Max named his fear about why their friendship fizzled and Kawi cleared it up and apologized. Max is my fav and I’m starting to respect Kawi a lot more.

This friend group kind of sucks, actually. Kawi should get more friends but maybe not these guys.

Pear is a nice person. She clearly only sees Kawi as a friend but I love that she looks out for him.

I just think we should get the chance to all line up and kick Not in the shin. Perhaps Pear doesn’t like you because you’re a nasty bully, has that occurred to you, sir??

These bullies clearly do not have his best interests at heart but it’s good for Kawi to get this confession over with. Time to be rejected and start moving on.

They are actually listening to him confess? I hate these dudes, get ‘em Pisaeng.

This was a great scene between Kawi and Pear. Kawi was straightforward and sincere, and Pear was honest and kind. I, too, would immediately start stress eating chips after being rejected.

KAWI! These dudes are not your friends. Why are you telling them personal stuff and giving them ammunition to mock you? I’m shaking my head with Pisaeng.

Pisaeng does need to get ahold of himself a little. He and Kawi only recently became friends and have no romantic relationship at all so the jealous bf stuff is a bit much. And Kawi is free to flirt with whoever he wants; this all feels a little unnecessarily slut shamey.

Aw yeah call him out, Kawi!! Pisaeng definitely has a bit of that toxic Nice Guy thing going on. He should let Pear off the hook, already.

Very interesting how long Kawi lets this hovering go on before he stops Pisaeng from kissing him.

Credit to Pisaeng for realizing Kawi is right and immediately acting on it. Pear took it like a champ. Is this the first drama I’ve seen where every single person who got rejected already knew it was coming and reacted calmly and maturely?

“Maybe you should start thinking more.” That’s it, I’m officially starting the Pearmai fan club. Who wants to be treasurer?

This episode really said:

You love her

But she loves him

And he loves somebody else

You just can't win

I’m in agreement with @respectthepetty and everyone else I’ve seen discussing the show - it really is getting stronger as it goes and I’m going to be very upset if it goes downhill. It’s being a lot more respectful of the characters than I expected, and there’s a real emotional intelligence underlying the relationship development (Jittirain, is that really you??). I’m officially invested and praying it doesn’t go off the rails.

#be my favorite #thai bl #shan shouts into the void

[polychocobros]

if i’m allowed to speak on it, this will be tagged as infinite wealth spoilers. Just wanted to talk about how they handled kiryu on here and see if anyone else agrees with me. I know some of my mutuals on twitter do but I want to actually have an open discussion with others on it.

After chapter 7, when Yamai beats the shit out Kiryu and kidnaps him, I feel like the story took a turn for the worst. They clearly put no care into this game’s story at all, especially Kiryu’s part and it was really disappointing to me as Kiryu is probably my favorite character of all time. I personally saw no point in Yamai kidnapping him and then actually not doing anything to him, it felt contradictory, not to say characters can’t be but it felt like there was almost no consequence for it or it wasn’t meant to have an impact on you to begin with. They make you stressed out (at least I was) over what could potentially happen to him and did nothing with it. Kiryu’s bucket list was filled with shit that wasn’t even important. I don’t need to know that Kiryu went to a Poppo on Nakimichi St. at 7:57 am and bought a fucking bento. Maybe make space for shit that actually matters like his children or his relationship with the Jimas. Instead of having Kiryu spend what could be his last months with Ichiban’s friends (i love his interactions with Zhao and his relationship with Seonhee aside from the flirting don’t get me wrong), he should’ve had his party be the people who impacted his life the most. Haruka could have literally been the idol class. She could’ve fought alongside him even to his protest. They used a bunch of heat actions for Kiryu’s skills and could’ve done the same for the Jimas. The Jimas were literally just added into the game for exposition and a boss fight. Daigo seemed to be the only one who was expressive about Kiryu having cancer, Majima and Saejima didn’t even fucking care? Majima who waited ten years for Kiryu to get out of prison so he could train him to be better? Majima who got in the way of one of his subordinates to take a stabbing for Kiryu because he insisted he belonged to him and only he could kill him? Kiryu trusting Majima to the point where he would rather talk to him first than outright assume he betrayed him in 3. Kiryu having a breakdown thinking Majima was dead and almost broke his cover to seek revenge on his killer in 5. There’s way more I can get into but not caring that Kiryu has cancer? Only one sentence on the matter and that’s that? They want to convince us Kiryu and Majima never cared for one another and it feels insulting to us who actually value Majima and Kiryu’s relationship as friends (shipping aside) bc Kiryu and Majima both trust each other with their lives. Saejima and Kiryu also trust each other and have a friendship and it’s like Saejima might as well have not even been there cause he said next to nothing.

I would’ve been happier about him seeing Taichi had I not known he literally only sees him. Not even a single one of his other children does he see besides a scene I mention later on in the post.

Ichiban telling him he deserved to live for only about 2.5 seconds.. was that supposed to make me sad? Or cry? Sure I got teary eyed but they did not even give us enough time to sit with what Ichiban was saying for me to feel as emotionally impacted as I thought I would. Then Kiryu calling him pathetic for being embarrassed about what happened with Saeko? Like seriously? Kiryu may not be super expressive naturally but calling Ichiban pathetic for being rightfully embarrassed felt wrong.

Was Kiryu supposed to develop as a character in this game at all? Everyone keeps telling him that he shouldn’t take things on alone and that he should rest and then at the boss fight with Ebina he’s like I have to do this alone and Zhao and Saeko have to tell him this fucking bullshit again? As someone who can relate to Kiryu in many avenues (feeling like a burden, feeling like he needs to do things on his own instead of ask for help, feels like even the smallest things are my fault even when they aren’t), it felt like his development in this game was scarce to none then rushed right at the end for some villain who literally did nothing all fucking game. Am I supposed to care about Kiryu telling Ebina all this fucking bullshit? The only thing in that speech that made me teary eyed was Kiryu crying, not even what he was saying because I dont care about Ebina enough to waste tears on him cause he was so irrelevant in game.

And the icing on the cake, the final scene. Haruka and Haruto pull up and Kiryu isn’t even there, he’s in chemo and we get a scene of him just saying his actual name again. Not a single fucking interaction with Haruka or Haruto. No, I’m sorry for abandoning you guys I should’ve never done that. One of the, if not, MOST, important relationship in Kiryu’s fucking life, gets not a single fucking interaction. I literally cried because I was so fucking upset we couldn’t even get that. Like seeing the way they dealt with Kiryu in this game.. I feel like I got fucking shot in the chest (no need to be so dramatic). This was supposed to be a send off to Kiryu? After 3,5, and 6 being a send off? Like how many fucking send offs can you possibly fucking give Kiryu? If I knew this was going to happen I would’ve rather they just killed him off of tetanus like Dean Winchester.

It sucks knowing the journey I spent with Kiryu during all the fucking games I played ended up with so much disappointment. I woild literally wake up mad almost every day after chapter 7. It was that serious for me. There were other things besides Kiryu’s side of things that really upset me (the entirety of the Tatara Channel subplot, the mini games with Ichiban ended up being SA’d because a man being SA’d is funny apparently, Hanawa’s death, Seonhee being one of the first women (besides Daigo’s mom) in the game who’s a cool mafia boss for only half her bond interactions to be flirting with fucking Kiryu, them implying she is into women and then doing literally nothing with it, Saeko’s drink links revolving around some irrelevant man who asked to marry her when she got mad at Ichiban at the start of the game for that, to the point of ghosting him, Zhao and Joongi being complete fucking after thoughts, especially Joongi.. Zhao and Ichiban do not interact in the game at all whatsoever, only one plot related sentence). I fell in love with Kiryu for a reason in Yakuza 0. From going to 0 to possibly one of the worst send offs in any game I’ve ever seen; is fucking heartbreaking. I really hope they mean it this time because I cannot sit through another game with Kiryu in it unless he isn’t at peace with his children, where he is truly happiest. Please leave Kiryu alone and let him go.

#infinite wealth #like a dragon: infinite wealth #infinite wealth spoilers #kiryu kazuma #tp

[sunshiline-writes]

The Rainbringer #3: A Canvas Is What You Are

previous | Masterlist | Next

Kyler has a conversation with his partner before meeting with Claire. (Comfort). Claire decides that blood makes for good decoration and a good lesson to be learned. (So much whump) CW: GORE GORE GORE, Lady Whumper, mentions of past torture, knife whump, Claire being super freaking creepy, knife whump, stabbing, lots of blood. let me know If I missed anything.

The morning air was crisp and clear. His tea was warm and tasted soft. Chamomile to help him relax. It was supposed to help. Sleeping through the night was hard. Claire's words rummaged through his brain all night. Bring a knife tomorrow, I want to try something. Whatever it was, it better not ruin his clothing. He’d be pissed if he had to make a new shirt. Otherwise, he knew she could heal him, so he wouldn’t die. That at least was a very subtle comfort. Perhaps he should be a little more bothered by it, but he was surprisingly calm about this situation. If he wasn’t calm, he just thought about the rain. 

He heard the cane hit the floor behind him. “You’re up early Ky,” said Irvington, walking next to him on the porch. “I thought you were going to try and go back to sleep.” 

Kyler shrugged slightly and sipped his tea. “Couldn’t fall asleep.” 

“Nightmares?” 

“Not quite.” 

He couldn’t bear to look at Irvington’s face, their brow furrowed in concern. They were always concerned about his well being for some reason he couldn’t quite fathom. The two of them had been a pair for longer than he could remember. Kyler was 36 now, and Irvington 38. They’d been friends since they were young children, so the friendship had been going on a good thirty or so years. People always assumed they were more than that. Maybe they were, honestly, Kyler wasn’t too keen on being in a real labeled relationship, and Irvington had never complained about this lack of want. Irvington was good like that. Never really complaining about him until Kyler did something that could be considered ‘detrimental to his well being’. 

“Well.. if you’re alright,” they said, sighing slightly. An ache in Kyler’s heart hit him suddenly. Why? Why did Irvington have to be so good. 

“I swear I'm fine, Irv. Just one bad night. I promise, okay?” 

“Pinkie swear,” Irvington said, holding out their left pinky, staring him down. Kyler hooked their pinkies together and mustered up a small smile. “You should take a day off from prayer today, join me at the market. They always ask for you. Everyone is amazed at your paintings. Always pay the highest price.” 

Kyler blushed slightly at the praise. “I wish I could. But.. its, it’s important to me. The Temple. The Prayer. It’s working you see? The rain came.” 

“You can’t think that’s because you’ve been going to the Temple everyday can you?” 

A frown lined Kylers features and he turned to Irvington, “I can, and I do.” It was frustrating that Irvington didn’t believe him. They were always the cynic and a skeptic. Kyler was always a believer, an optimist. 

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry,” they said, raising a hand in surrender. The other hand was in a knuckle white grip on their cane. “I just miss you going to market with me. You’re always there, you go early, come home late. I just miss you.” 

There was a tightness in his throat as he tried to come up with an answer. But he was at a loss for words. 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I understand. I do. I’ve got to go set up the market,” they said as they turned to walk back into the house. 

“Irvington,” Kyler called out, and Irvington paused, hand on the door to go inside. “I miss you too. I’m sorry.” They turned to face Kyler again, sad smile lining their features. He hated to see Irvington sad. “We can go into town tonight. When I get back. It’ll be like a date.” 

“A date?” Irvington chuckled, “I like the sound of that. Now get dressed. You’ll be late to your prayers.” 

*** 

Claire was getting impatient with Kyler. The man was late today. She’d had enough of his disrespect. Of his nonchalance and calm demeanor. Mostly things had been tame with their meetings. Simple things. Beatings, choking, humiliation, making him beg. But nothing like what she planned to do today. No no, she had yet to hear him scream. She’d made him squirm, cry, and beg, but now she was itching for something more. A morbid curiosity. She wanted to know how loud he could scream, how long she could keep him for before he started to beg to be let go. Hearing him beg was the best part about this agreement. It made a pleasure pool in her stomach and radiate through her body. The other gods had always said she had a bit of a sadistic streak. Well, they were right. But now she finally had someone she could actually act it out upon. He was perfect. He had blue eyes like hers, brown skin, and long hair that was usually pulled back into a low ponytail. She hated his long hair. But she let it slide for now. Claire had decided it was fun to run her hands through it. At any rate, she’d cut it herself if she found it too distracting. 

She was sitting on top of the altar when Kyler finally walked in, looking as he always did. Perfectly calm. 

“You’re late today Kyler. I expect you to be on time.” 

“I had things to take care of at home,” he said plainly, letting the door close behind him. 

She decided to ignore his insolence. “Did you bring what I asked?” She took notice of the pause before he spoke next 

“Yes.” 

“Bring it here then,” Claire said, holding out a hand, waiting for him to bring it to her. Kyler did so, walking slowly up to her, not meeting her eyes as he placed the small kitchen knife into her hand. Handle in her palm. She closed her palm around it, examining it, she could see her own reflection in it. Clean, perfectly so. Claire expected nothing less from the man. 

“Take off your shirt,” she ordered, kicking her feet as they hung off the altar. The man stepped back and frowned. He shook his head, body tense. A smile graced her lips. “Please make me ask again,” she said sweetly, not taking her eyes off the knife as she twirled it in her hands. 

“Why?” He asked finally, staring at her in horror. Oh it was that face that made him so delectable to control. The way he stuttered and faltered at everything she did. Claire was feeding off his fear. 

“I don’t want you to ruin such a nice shirt. It would be a shame if you got blood all over it.” 

Kyler whimpered slightly, looking around, perhaps for an escape? She didn’t like that. Hopping off the altar, she strode toward him, no longer smiling. 

“Shirt. Off. Now.” she ordered again, less of a mocking tone now. 

The man slowly reached toward the edges of his shirt, thinking. One day, she would make sure he would never hesitate at a word she said. He wouldn’t think when an order came. Kyler Lluvia would be a good little boy and kneel when told. 

“I don’t want to.” Kyler said stubbornly. 

“Oh I was hoping you’d say that,” and with that phrase she moved, the knife sliding into his stomach far too easily. Kyler gasped, his blood was warm on her fingers. “I’m going to paint this temple with your blood, and when you’re about to run out, I’ll heal you. Then do it again,” Claire twisted the knife and Kyler screamed, raw and hoarse as he fell to his knees. Claire stood over him and twisted again, pulling out another scream from the man. “And again, and again.” Pulling out the knife and letting Kyler fall to the floor, gasping for breath, trying to crawl and scramble away from her. 

“You’re my canvas today Kyler. And oh what beautiful art I'll make with you.” 

TAGLIST: @for-the-love-of-angst @devourerofcheesecake @robinbugbanned @whumpinthepot

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!

#whump #whumpblr #poc whump #sunshine writes whump #rainbringer #lady whumper #knife whump #gore #Kyler is in for a very very bad time #queer platonic partner #a little bit of comfort before the awful things that conspire

[thenicestthingiveseen]

self rec tag

i’ll reblog my stuff but i dont ever actively recommend it because just like with every thing else in my life i think i could have done better. BUT @four2andnew tagged me and I think this is an excellent way to stretch my self cheerleading muscles!

five fics i’ve written (or am currently writing) that i like?

every thing i need is right here by my side (WIP, M) - A Gender AU of Harry and Gideon stumbling through young adulthood. Balancing careers, family dynamics and the ever present attraction they’ve both tried to ignore for years. They have a cat, too. She’s what started all of this for me. 

A little snippet of a chapter that I don’t know when I’ll post: 

“Gideon, you have to give him a break.” 

“No.”

“He feels awful. You know, sometimes he says things he doesn’t mean. Just like you do.”

“I mean everything I say, Ronald.” Gideon’s getting tired of Ron butting into his life. He should be on his side anyway. Not bloody Harry Potter. 

“Merlin, you two are meant for each other,” Ron says. 

Gideon chooses to ignore this and continues pouring over the new playbook he’s just  received.

friendly and friendlier (WIP,M): A series of one shots across different universes wherein Harry and Ginny are friends with benefits and usually end up being more because I can’t bare to give them an unhappy ending. I’m partial to the first chapter that I wrote for this although the most recent chapter seems to be very popular.

you are beautiful (G) - a three shot of Hallie learning to love her hair as a mixed race girl in the UK. I headcannon that no matter the race of an AU Hallie Potter, Angelina Johnson plays a really big role. I’m trying to really push the power of female friendship in my writing in these AUs because they are important to me. I saw a post a few weeks back about how women and their friendships are essentially nonexistent in HP and it made me sad because its true.

in all chaos there is calculation (WIP, M) - i really like this concept. I know a lot of people like Slytherin Harry. I personally love genderbent Harry Potter so I of courses decided to take all of that on in a long form fic. I’m admittedly, being very hard on myself with this one and I’m trying not to be. Female friendship will once again reign supreme in this AU.

Here’s a sneak peek for waaaay down the line because if we’re being honest I do not have 3rd-5th year completely figured out yet. 

“Andromeda is my favorite cousin, you know. She was a Slytherin too.” Sirius pauses for a moment. “She got burned off for marrying Ted Tonks - he was a Hufflepuff, I believe.” When Hallie doesn’t say anything, he turns to her and says, “in your letter last year, you asked if I was disappointed that you were a Slytherin. I’m not. I was surprised of course, but then I thought about Andromeda and Cissy - to some extent. You remind me of the best of them. You’re a smart resourceful young woman and I will always be proud of you.” When Hallie finally looks at him, her jaw is set and her eyes are hard. She looks so much like Lily that it takes him by surprise, like a punch to the gut.

“Do you really mean that?”

“More than anything.”

and finally, the first fic i ever wrote and posted after 15+ years of reading HP fanfiction off an on.

truth serum of the youth (T) Gender AU where everyone lives. Hallie’s got feelings for Gideon and just like our canon little cabbage Harry, she’s not going to outright admit it.

I’m awful at tagging but feel free to promote your own work!

#tags #self rec #harry potter fanfiction #WIPs

[angelicyouth]

bro i just realized that most of my happinest comes from imagining myself in fictional scenarios with fictional characters because in the real world i dont really have anyone i feel i can truly trust, so really at this point one of my only sources of happiness is just being somewhat delusional thinking fictional people care about me when in reality i dont know if anyone will truly even care about me in that extent, i dont even think i could even love myself the way i want people to love me because i just see myself as a generally displeasing person to be around because im too much too bear or too confusing or too angry and people dont wanna put up with me and ive just been realizng that for the past months and it makes me wish i was someone else who could be better than whoever i am, i dont even know at this point who i really am and i wish i was better and funnier and not someone who is the embodiment of a dissapointment.i cant even bring myself to talk about my problems to people irl no matter how much id like to because im too scared to be a burden or just seem overexaggrerating so its eating me from the inside and i cant bring myself to be someone i want to be, all i do is just stay in my room all day because i dont have the energy to do anything anymore. thing that i used to like dont seem the same anymore and i just wanna be held by someone and to be told that its okay to not be okay but if someone actually did it would feel like just a big lie because i dont have that much of an excuse to not be okay so really im putting down other people's problems and looking for attention and i feel so guilty for even feeling this way but at the same time i dont wanna let go of these feelings because it feels like if i have them people will actually care about me and ill have someone by my side and if i dont feel sad then nobody would have any reason to pity me and nobody would really wanna hangout with me anymore and it feels so comflicting and it makes me wanna shut myself away from everyone and continue to pretend everything is okay even if nothing feels okay. i wish i was someone else, maybe then nothing like this would happen.

that one relatable moment where you have nobody 2 vent 2 so you vent as an anon 2 a random blog ran by the literal nicest person ever

-mango anon

mango bby :(

first of all—i’m proud of you for being honest with your feelings! i’m sure it took a lot of courage to come forward and to talk about this with someone else so please give yourself some self care in my place for taking that monumental step!

i know that it may not mean much if i say this because of how overused this line is but truly, don’t ever feel bad about what you’re feeling. always remember that the need for attention is normal and common to all humans. it’s not only limited to that but the need for comfort is also normal and common, the need for physical touch is normal, the need for validation, for acknowledgment, for a positive reaction to yourself, a need to express yourself, to talk about yourself, to voice your pain, to feel valued and important—it’s all normal and a part of just being a human being.

so please, don’t beat yourself up over having those. if you’re struggling with some of them particularly, it doesn’t mean you’re “needy”. anyone who doesn’t get those things would go to deprivation mode and end up craving them severely, eventually. those needs should be met at default and as your friend, i always want to ensure that i can readily provide those for you! so don’t feel ashamed for voicing those thoughts to me because i appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me as i genuinely want to help you. i know i may seem like a random blog run by someone you don’t know from the internet but that doesn’t mean my friendship for you is less valid. so please, if you ever need to talk to someone or just need me to listen then always remember that i’m here for you. because how else would i know what to help you with if it’s not said?

and i know that you feel delusional for seeking comfort from fictional characters but that’s simply not true. because personally, through my own writing, what these people say or do are essentially extensions of the authors who use them in their literature. so whenever craig and kenny talk to reader in youth, they’re not just baseless things that are said just cause for the plot. they’re actual words with real meaning and intent to whoever is reading their dialogue. so with that in mind, what they both have said is their words of affirmation and reassurance to you:

feelings aren’t illogical. they aren’t wrong nor are they here for no reason. they aren’t a failure of self control, they aren’t a burden, and they are not an inconvenience. emotions are generated from actual things that happened, they are normal reactions to things that actually happened!! if you feel sad, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated—even if it seems illogical, there’s a very good reason you feel this way. you aren’t supposed to control how you feel, you aren’t supposed to doubt your emotions. they are always just a reaction, they do not come from you!! they’re not your failure, feeling all this is normal and logical under unbearable circumstances of anything that’s happened.

i hope you will be kinder to yourself babe, you deserve it :< it makes me so, so upset when you can’t see how amazing you are in my eyes and i bet everyone else’s just because of some mistakes you made along the way or any ill feelings you harbor for yourself. i really wish you didn’t beat yourself up so much over them, those mistakes or whatever negative things that have happened don’t define you.

and remember: you’re not stuck the way you are now. every day you have the potential to grow and to learn, and you do grow and learn, all the time! it may not feel like it because it’s so subtle, but you do. the universe won’t let you get stuck, there is so much more to discover and i’ll always be here with you along the way! it’s inevitable to make mistakes, it’s human nature and wouldn’t make sense to be perfect on the get-go. no one is like that. just remember, progress can’t be compared. progress is still progress and slow + steady will still win the race! as long as you’re not changing yourself to cater to someone else’s needs or society’s standards then i will always support your desire to strive for the best version of yourself!!♡

#asksforlala #i love you mango!! #you got this!!♡ #mango anon ♡

[solartranslations]

AF2 Dante Chapter 13: Auguri! (TN: Congratulations)

A peaceful day begins. The time has come for them to act on their promise to each other…

~*Scene: Harbor*~

Dante: It’s been a while since we’ve been on a stroll like this

Felicita: That’s because you’ve been doing nothing but work since we got back from Nord

Dante: Ojou-san, are you sulking?

Felicita: …No, I wouldn’t over that. It’s nothing compared to when you’d lost your emotions

Dante: It seems like you’ve grown since that happened

Felicita: I’m just glad that Vir removed your curse…

Dante: I guess even Vir has a weak spot for the one he loves

Felicita: I can’t thank Neve enough

Dante: She must have been trying to make up for what she had done

Dante: I’m sure that’s why she sent you that letter revealing Vir’s whereabouts too

Felicita: I wasn’t even mad at her. She’s my friend

Dante: You should tell her that next time you meet. I’m sure she’d be happy

Dante: Friendship is a boat that never sinks (TN: original pun on “tomo” meaning “together” and “friend”)

Dante: …Just kidding!

Felicita: …

Felicita: …I never thought I’d ever miss hearing your puns

Felicita: I used to just think they weren’t funny

Dante: O-Ojou-san…! Is that how you really felt!?

Felicita: But thinking I’d never hear them again made me sad. I never want that to happen again

Dante: Of course, I’ll tell as many jokes as you want

Felicita: Um, just occasionally is fine

(*shock) Dante: O-Ojou-san…!

Felicita: But now everything’s back to normal

Dante: What do you mean? The most important thing hasn’t been fixed yet

Felicita: Huh?

Dante: The way I look

Felicita: Your looks?

Dante: My ruggedness is completely gone. I feel like I’m not as commanding as I used to be

Felicita: Really? I don’t think that’s changed

Dante: But my ruggedness…

Felicita: I think it’s a good thing that you look younger now

Dante: I-Is that because you really do think it’s better to be with someone young?

Felicita: No, that’s not it. And you’ll just get older again anyway, right?

Felicita: I’m happy I’ll get to see it again

Dante: Ojou-san…I’m glad to hear it

Felicita: Oh…but you’ll keep your hair this time, right?

Dante: Hm… Guess that means my ruggedness with be different than before…

Liberta: In that case, I can burn it off again…

Dante: L-Liberta!?

Liberta: Oh, but I don’t have my Arcana powers anymore, so it’s gonna have to me normal fire

Dante: That’s dangerous!

Felicita: Yeah, Liberta. I don’t want him losing his hair again!

Felicita: I lover older Dante, but I don’t know about him having no hair…

Dante: Ojou-san! Are you serious? That’s a first!

Felicita: Ah…

Felicita: Well…when I was really young, I liked touching your hair when I rode on your shoulders

Dante: That’s…fine, but…

Orso: It sure is nice to see Ojou-san toying with you, Dante-san

Nino: You’re just not you unless you get flustered by everything she says

Dante: Oh…so that’s how you all see me

Orso: N-no, I just think it’s cute when you Ojou-san messes with you

Dante: I guess I really did lose my authority…

Felicita: I like you like this too, Dante

Dante: Ojou-san…

Orso: You really do act younger too now that you’ve regressed

Nino: Looks really are important

Dante: What are you trying to say, Orso, Nino?

Orso/Nino: Ah, uh, nothing!

Dante: Oh, Ojou-san. Shouldn’t you be heading back soon?

Felicita: ! You’re right. What about you?

Dante: I’m going to inspect the ship

Felicita: Okay. See you, then

Dante: Yeah, see you

Liberta: Dante? What’re you making that face for?

Dante: Oh…I was just worried about something…

~*Scene: Felicita’s Room*~

(*knock knock)

Felicita: Yes. …Dante, what is it?

Dante: I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?

Felicita: Of course

Dante: Come here, Felicita

Felicita: Okay

Dante: First, I actually want to apologize for when I lost my emotions

Felicita: What?

Dante: You proposed to me in the Nord style, right?

Felicita: Y-yeah

Dante: And yet, I responded so coldly. I’m sure that must have hurt you

Felicita: There was no helping that. You were under a curse

Dante: I’m glad to hear that. I truly can’t understand why my heart was unmoved at the time

Dante: Because thinking back now, I feel great happiness

Felicita: Just hearing that makes me happy

Dante: And now…it’s time for me to make good on that promise

Felicita: Promise?

Dante: Have you forgotten, Felicita?

Dante: Didn’t I say that after this was settled, we would hold our wedding ceremony?

Felicita: ! Really? Dante…

Dante: Why would I lie about this?

Dante: Of course, if your feelings have changed…

Felicita: There’s no way they would

Felicita: When you said no…I knew it was due to the curse, but I really thought I wouldn’t get to marry you

Dante: I caused you a lot of unneccesary worry…

Felicita: Dante…!

Dante: But you don’t need to worry anymore

Dante: Whatever happens now, we face it together

Felicita: Yeah…

Dante: Together, we can move forward

Felicita: Yeah, we will…

Dante: Let me say it again. Please marry me

Felicita: …Yes

Dante: …*kiss*

~*Scene: SS Arcana*~

Pace: Congrats, Ojou! You’re way too pretty to be Dante’s bride!

Debito: Yeah, Bambina. I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride

Ash: It’s not just the clothes either. You just look really good

Dante: No compliments will get me to give her up

Debito: Isn’t it natural for a Regalo man to say that? And I’m not gonna fight you now

Debito: Besides, I think if I tried, I’d get one of Bambina’s kicks

Felicita: Yeah

Liberta: I’m surprised to see Ojou has you on a leash, Dante!

Dante: I’m not sure what to say about that

Pace: Ojou having Dante on a leash…sure is a fun image!

Luca: O-O-O-Ojou-sama…

Debito: Luca… You were seriously over there making weird faces?

Luca: I’m just glad…Ojou-sama is happy

Debito: You don’t look happy at all though

Luca: What are you saying, Debito! Ojou-sama’s happiness is my happiness…*sob*…

Debito: Today is a happy day. Stop crying

Luca: These are happy tears…!

Debito: Really…

Nova: There’s more crying over there too

Mondo: Felicitaaaaa!

Sumire: Oh my, even your nose is running…she won’t like that, you know

Mondo: My precious daughter…*sob*…

Jolly: I can’t watch this

Ash: Hm? You’re not getting seasick, Sunglasses?

Jolly: It’s a happy day. But I’d like to return to the mansion soon

Ash: Oh, no you don’t! Don’t you have something to say to them?

Jolly: Fine…

Jolly: Ojou-sama, Dante, auguri

Liberta: Auguri!

Nova: Auguri!

Ash: Auguri! To Strawberry Head and the old man!

Luca: *sob*…Auguri…

Pace: To the world’s cutest bride! Auguri!

Debito: I’m always here if he makes you cry, Bambina. Auguri

Felicita: Thank you, everyone

>This is our new beginning

(+40 Amore)

>I’m so happy…

I’m so happy…

Dante: This will be our new journey, Felicita. Just the two of us

Dante: I’m sure we’ll also face hardship. But I know we can overcome it together

Felicita: I’m not worried, Dante. Because you’ll always be with me

Felicita: I’m not worried, Dante. Because you’ll always be with me

Felicita: I’ll never leave you, ever

Dante: Neither will I, Felicita

Dante: Let our happiness last forever…

~*End of Scene*~

(Continue to ED1: 400+ Amore)

(Continue to ED2: <400 Amore)

(Back to Directory)

#dante #arcana famiglia #arcana famiglia 2 #chapter 13 #solar translations #psp game #translation #releases

[redleavesinthewind]

For the series ask game: 911

ahhh yes, 911 let’s gooo

my favorite female character

hen, definitely. she is so passionate about helping people, and i know they all are, but there’s sth about hen, i mean she starts med school at 40. that’s so dedicated and impressive, i love it. the team is so important to her, she always brings awesome cake when someone comes back, she has some of my favourite conversations with the other characters, and aaargh she’s just so cool!

my favorite male character

buck! he’s a dumbass with a heart of gold, which i always love, he’s good with children, he’s constantly trying to improve himself, he forgives easily (too easily sometimes). he cares so much about being a firefighter, it’s his whole world, and that job fits him so well. he also makes me laugh so much, which is definitely a plus

my favorite book/season/etc

hmmm i can’t really decide. i think it’s a draw between season 2 and season 4 (also the current season is kind of insane)

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

the first 3 episodes of season 3. yes, the tsunami episodes. they are super stressful but damn, they’re so good

jinx. literally no other episode has made laugh as much as this one

whatever the episode is in which bobby and michael are playing around with a telescope and become amateur detectives. i love their friendship

i am also very fond of the last few episodes that came out for eddie reasons (yeass deal with that trauma)

my favorite cast member

do not care for the actors, so let me just say the dude that plays buck cause my sister sent me a video where he’s speaking in his actual british accent, and i didn’t even know he was british until then. still makes me laugh for some reason

my favorite ship

buddie buddie buddie. have you seen them? have you? i mean come on. i was rewatching the whole show in preparation for season 5b and the shit i’ve witnessed. i’m sorry but every buck/eddie interaction… they’re so meant to be. buck making friends with eddie so easily once he gets over his own insecurities. eddie just trusting buck with chris, especially after the tsunami. buck feeling at home in eddie’s home. the landslide. it’s insane. and now? there was such a distance and disconnect between them in season 5a, but ever since fear-o-phobia something has shifted and damnnn i think it might actually be happening. just watch dumb luck. watch dumb luck and tell me they’re not in love

a character I'd die defending

though i’d be mostly defending him to himself, bobby. i know his backstory is messy and complicated, but it was NOT his fault, there were about a hundred more things wrong with that building. anyway. no one come at him

a character I just can't sympathize with

sigh. if i’d have to chose one from the main cast, it’s athena. it’s not that i never sympathise with her, it’s just that i sympathise with her the least. there are just some things she does i fundamentally disagree with, and it’s been like that since season 1. i have very mixed feelings about her

a character I grew to love

yoooo chimney! i actually forgot that i used to dislike him, cause i just love that dude so much, but when i did my rewatch and saw him in the first few episodes, i understood why. but he grows as a character, definitely for the better, and i was so sad when he wasn’t there for most of season 5a

my anti otp

eddie/ana. basically, i told myself to give both buck and eddie’s relationships with other people a chance, because i didn’t want to hate them just because i ship buddie. and while i don’t think they should be together, i don’t hate buck/taylor. eddie/ana is a different story. there’s just nothing there. i don’t know anything about ana as a person. what does she have in common with eddie? what does she bring to the relationship? there’s literally nothing. and maybe that was the point, i don’t know, but i had to force myself through all the eddie/ana scenes, it was painful

#anon ​thank you sooo much for giving me an excuse to ramble about 911 <3 #elliot answers #911 #hi anon!

[adumpofdumbstuff]

Here’s my story about growing up on MLP

The show started when I was 6 years old, but i didn’t get pulled in until I was 7. I remember it was a McDonald’s Happy Meal Fluttershy toy that did it (I still have it today and it sits on my dresser like a trophy). She had a brushable tail but no comb and a whole bunch of stickers. I looked at the box and my mom, who’d known about the show and remembered the original 80s version from her childhood, but she said she never really watched it or owned any of the toys, but I guess really wanted me to get into it. I still remember the first episode I watched was Read It and Weep (the one where Rainbow Dash gets into Daring Do) which today I find hilariously ironic.

This started a full-blown OBSESSION with the show. Soon I was collecting the blind bags, Beanie Babies, Happy Meal toys, I had FatHeads of all of the ponies on my bedroom wall, I had a My Little Pony lunchbox, a My Little Pony backpack, I wore My Little Pony underwear, I had My Little pony pajamas, I made a Twilight Sparkle Halloween costume one year, I had a My Little Pony birthday party one year. My mom compared me to Pinkie Pie but Twilight Sparkle was my favorite. I was an extroverted kid (the pandemic is what turned me into an introverted adult) and I started hoping I’d meet five friends I’d spend my whole life with just like her. I was a silly kid. I actually got bullied for being obsessed with the show unfortunately… this led to the loss of my first My Little Pony lunchbox.

And I wrote fanfiction! And I drew cringeworthy fanart because I was like that (my fanart improved over the years). When Equestria Girls came out, I started wondering if high school would be like that.

No, I never got to dance on cafeteria tables in school spirit wear. Sad.

As an adult, I think the show has definitely shaped me as a person who believes friendship, while not magic, is one of the most important things in the world. As for G5, it’s okay in my opinion. I haven’t watched any of the episodes after the Netflix movie, but I like the characters and I’m happy to see the next generation of kids gets to grow up on it too.

I did not hate Season 9. The later seasons I agree were not as good, but I never hated the School of Friendship or Cozy Glow (I actually love the idea of adorable child villains). The introduction of Scootaloo’s lesbian aunts warmed my heart, along with LyraBon getting married and implied AppleDash (though I think RariJack would have been better, just saying). I don’t hate The Last Problem either. Once again, a bit upset Rarity didn’t end up with anyone though because she deserved to have a happily ever after (and Gallus and Silverstream ending up in different places. I think those two should have gotten together)

Pony Life is bad. The introduction of Pinkie Pie’s brother makes no sense and opens up a lot of plot holes, even more than Maud never having been in The Cutie Mark Chronicles flashback. I never got behind Sparity. Rarity is too old for Spike and to be honest I think Spike and Sweetie Belle should’ve.

One thing I never understood was the hate on Flash Sentry and Timber Spruce. I think they’re both charming and both good for their respective Twilights. No no no. I ship Sunset Shimmer with EG’s Rainbow Dash, not Sci-Twi. No hate on Twiset, though!

My favorite episode of MLP, or episodes I suppose, are still A Canterlot Wedding, Parts 1 and 2. Queen Chrysalis will always be my fav villain. I love two-parters. Twilight’s Kingdom and To Where and Back Again are my others. I HATED The Mean Six btw. I found it a pathetic return for Queen Chrysalis and extremely anticlimactic. It’s the only episode I genuinely hate. There are some I dislike a bit but that’s the only one I hate.

A large inspiration to how Poisoned Lipgloss sounds is PrinceWhateverer. I love his music and I admire him greatly.

Sorry for the long post!! You guys can ask me anything on my opinions on the show!! Just a reminder, my blog is NOT suitable for minors, so please keep out!

#very long post #my little pony #mlp #mlpfim #mlp g4 #about me #i still greatly relate to twilight sparkle #i don’t hate starlight glimmer either #starburst all the way #stixie is ok i think they’re just friends tbh #maybe onesided trixie

[yeah-they-call-me-d]

the reality of the situation is that it’s cold. there were so many things i could have done better, but does it truly get warm where we were at? i’m not a good person, but i am also far from being a bad person. i am, unfortunately, an incredibly mentally ill individual and i struggle to separate what happens in my head vs what is actually happening. it makes me wonder, if i made up entirely that there was a positive to us. i feel like i am going insane over this situation. but the best part of it all is, it really just doesn’t matter. i don’t get the opportunity to try with you again. i have accepted that. i have accepted that, no matter how deeply i love you. you will never be mine. you never were. i had this inaccurate depiction of what we were. i thought we were together at some point. i thought you loved me. i thought it was so much more than it was. the thing that sucks is, we discussed it and i still don’t understand what the fuck it was. i know how i felt. i guess that is the important part right? to know that i was in love with you. whether i made up what happened or it actually happened. i did love you fully and with all my heart. you were my best friend. maybe i shouldn’t have gotten attached to you like that. maybe i’ve cut off my nose to spite my face. i don’t know anymore. maybe in a different world ***** and i would have worked out. in the universe in which i never met you, maybe that would be the case. now i am stuck with the decision of do i repeat the same mistake? do i pursue other avenues of love and fake it until i either make it or break again? do i wait for you? i’m so thankful for meeting you. you are also my biggest regret, so i am not entirely sure how to navigate this. i will figure my shit out, but it isn’t easy. it’s a sad and lonely path, but i haven’t been alone in so long. this is what i needed. i need to figure out what i want, what i need. i need to have a list of things that have to happen should you ever come back. how i would feel safe in something with you. whether that be friendship or otherwise.

i think maybe, letting you go will be the only thing positive i can do for you. that is what hurts the most. to love someone so deeply, but know that the way you love hurts them.

today is tough. tomorrow will be better. or worse. not really sure where i stand anymore.

#+

[llamamonger]

awkward friendship

Been having a lot of hard talks with my dear friend this summer, but they’ve been necessary. Suffice it to say, this one actually seemed to get down to the meat of the matter. After a couple other hard talks about their reasoning for getting married so fast (ultimately I just wanted to know if this wasn’t masking something they’re not wanting to process), I asked them directly about whether it bothered them when people assumed we were best friends. They said they were afraid to talk about this because I might get mad, which was strange since I told them before that they have a right to ask or tell me anything, but I was like, there’s nothing you could say to me that would be worse than all the things I’ve already imagined. They said they feel awkward about my professions of love, and that they did get my letter, and it made them feel awkward—they weren’t much more eloquent than that. When people assume we’re really close it triggers that same awkwardness for them. Of course I’m fully understanding all this—I literally said in the letter, this is awkward, and if it’s too weird, just pretend you never got the letter, which was the option they chose. So why would they assume I’d be angry? I asked why it’s awkward to them, and ultimately they said it’s because they don’t understand it. And that’s fair. I didn’t expect them to—I really just wanted to give clarity & maybe get benefit of the doubt, if not understanding. They’ve never had deep friendships until the last 4 years, and they have no experience with deep platonic/friend love. I told them about how I view it, from the Platonic perspective, about being able to admire how a person expresses Goodness in their own unique way. C.S. Lewis mentions how friends’ eyes can be opened to see each other’s “glory,” so the same kind of thing. I told them how I first knew I loved them, at a time when I was mad and feeling slighted and wondering if I was just being used and questioning whether I should help them out the next day with something. I realized that regardless of what I was feeling, I hated the idea of them struggling & being miserable & stressed if I didn’t come help them, and that’s when I knew I loved them, regardless of whatever emotion I was feeling, and that I would forever.

They didn’t really say anything to this, though the did say they were trying to get deeper about friendships in the past 4 years. I think part of why they overvalue romantic attention/relationships is because of how limited their capacity for friendship has been, from 26 years of shallow & easily discarded friendships. I can’t blame them. I hope they don’t think I think less of them. I mentioned that Lewis says some people have never experienced true Friendship, only Affection or Companionship. There’s a much bigger world out here to explore than they’ve realized. I hope they get curious and go deeper. If not with me then with someone else they trust.

They did say they felt I was holding on too tight, and that this started a push-pull dynamic that I definitely felt & got confused by. I asked them what they want from me, from this friendship, and all they could really say is that they didn’t want to feel parented or distrusted or suffocated, which hopefully my being able to clarify my motives (and autistic mindset) has helped take care of. I can of course do better—I didn’t make it easy to assume the best. I hated hearing that they felt dread right after their proposal at the thought having to tell me about it. I had literally predicted the proposal the night before, partly as a joke, but they still thought I’d have a problem & even doubted the sincerity of my response when they told me. But they decided our friendship was worth telling me even if there were negative results. As sad as I feel that they don’t (and may never) understand my love for them, I can’t discount that I have been important enough to them that they would be willing to face painful situations for the sake of our friendship. My friend is not a very introspective person, so maybe there’s more feeling for me there than they can admit. I can’t hang my hat on this, but I do need to remember that I was at least this important to them.

#live blog of my stupid little life

[indianliv]

It’s pretty sad but...

It’s pretty sad but I’ve been seeing a really disgusting correlation between women who have no real romantic partner, that also only keep the men they have in their lives to use them for all they’ve got, and their lack of good friendship skills.

I’m no saint but I’ve been seeing the pattern too often not to call it out.

Y’all will say you want to have friends but you don’t treat them any better than the men you have in your life. I have no hope for you anymore.

Every girl I meet who I’ve seen be terrible communicators, have little to no real follow-through, only care about what they’re getting out of it when dealing with guys, have been equally negligent in their friendship with me.

I’ve been so naive to think that they’d treat me any differently just because we’re girls. It’s been quite literally the opposite.

I mean how can I expect you to be reliable, and genuinely have my best interest at heart, when the only thing I’ve seen you do with your potential life partners is revel in the drama and continuously take from them what you don’t give back? 

We don’t talk about friendship red flags enough but if we did, THAT would be one of them.

You’ll complain that some man you’re into won’t text you back within a reasonable time but you can’t seem to maintain a prompt response time when I text you either so...remind me, why are your expectations so high?

You only care that someone isn’t responding when it’s inconveniencing you but I’m supposed to just keep taking your mixxy communication to the chin...do you hear yourself?

Don’t even get me started on the ones who like to tell half the story to make you believe there’s more to it that what it seems. Y’all will jump to share information that no one asked for and I’m always confused about why? Is it that important to you for us to know? Especially when what you’re telling us is NOTHING to write home about?

No seriously, is your ego THAT big?

You’re constantly finding yourself in the same situations and scenarios and you haven’t caught on that maybe, just maybe, you’re the problem? You lack proper boundaries, you don’t have the balls to go after what you actually deserve, and you’re constantly lying to yourself about what you want in life.

I know because everytime I confront you about it, you deflect or make excuses for your lack of discernment. You never take full accountability and responsibility and so, year after year, we’re still having the same conversations about the same takeaway you should’ve grown from the last incident.

I don’t want friends like this. I want friends that value having a man in their life. I want the ones who can clearly tell me what they need from a man and the kind of man they want so I can help them find him. I want friends that are more than excited for me to meet my husband and will encourage me to get out there so he can find me. I want more women in my life who delight in doing for their man what he needs as a man.

I don’t want the friends that only see a man as an extension of their bank account or some kind of social media status symbol they can stand next to and “look good together.” I don’t want the ones who make the conscious decision to hang around girls that truly believe they should receive princess treatment without any real effort in return - and no, sex is not “real effort.”

I want more women in my life who truly want to be wives, not because it grants them the “soft life” but because they truly value having a partner to build a legacy with. A lot of these girls be out here on some cockamamey bullshit because they either want a man to save them or they’re too masculine to be the feminine one in the dynamic.

It’s a lot of women out here that look like women, dress like women, but absolutely do not behave like women. They don’t see the value in having domestic qualities and they barely have any patience, grace, tact, or compassion for the men they date. Frankly, those women are not the best girl friends. I’ve seen it too often and I’m finally waving the white flag on it.

Those are the girls you only call for a good time, not a long time.

[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 375,

I actually made a point of avoiding you when you first washed up, especially after I heard you were going to be Archivist.  I still missed the old man and had a lot of tangled up feelings with all my good memories of the archive being tainted by sadness over his loss.  But I couldn’t avoid the place forever and I missed it as much as I did him, so I finally got my courage together and made myself go down there.

I was so nervous about how it was going to go, seeing someone else in his place, watching over our books, intruding in my place to hide from the world.  But then I got down the stairs and you looked ridiculous.  I know I should say I’m sorry for laughing like I did, but I’m still not.  I don’t mean that in a mean way though.  Seeing you there, looking nothing like him but drowning in his clothes like you were his kid that had gotten into his closet and surrounded by an utter mess was just the right kind of silly to get rid of those nerves and make me feel better about, well, a lot of things really.  I know you were embarrassed but please don’t be when you look back on that.  Under the exact context that you couldn’t have known, I don’t think you could have made a better first impression.

And I’ll admit, seeing all the books out of place and hearing they were going to be reorganized felt wrong at first.  The archive means a lot to me, and who were you to change something so important?  But then as you were talking you just got so into it.  Talking so fast you were stumbling over yourself and repeating things but smiling the whole time.  Here was someone else who really cared.  I was afraid you wouldn’t.  

As we got to talking and while I settled back into my old reading spot I started thinking maybe rearranging everything wasn’t so bad.  It was a fresh start.  A way for the archive to keep what it’s always meant to me without reminding me of what I’d lost.

From there, it wasn’t hard to start thinking of you as a fresh start.  Someone who didn’t have any prior history or associations with me to poison the present.  Someone I could do things right with.

You know I’ve drifted away from all my other old friends.  Some of the reasons I’ve told you, some I think you’ve figured out, and some you probably have an idea of now after all that other stuff I wrote.  I’ve had my problems in the past.  Still do.  But I’ve gotten better.  And I’m still getting better.

I know it was never your intention, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to try being a good friend again.  For being any kind of friend again.  I think we both know you can be alone without being lonely, just like you can be with others and still be lonely.  I was definitely the latter for a long time.  Longer than I realized, and you were my first step to getting out of that.  

Okay, yeah, I did have that weird friendly-messing-with-each-other-acquaintanceship with Cass even before you showed up, but that was really just another part of the masks until mutual friendship with you was able to catalyze it into something else.

I wrote something to this same effect before, back when you were sick, but maybe once you return we can start talking more about this stuff.  Help each other out of the holes we dig ourselves into.  We’re both bad at talking about it though.  Maybe we could try writing each other letters.  That was something in a story I read once.  Writing letters to say the things we can’t in person.  I think you’d like that one.

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