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forabeatofadrum · 2 years

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I’d cry a river just for you (1/24)

Summary: Seven years ago, Kurt and Blaine had a huge fight that ended a ten year long friendship. Now they unexpectedly run into each other in another part of the world. Can they let go of the past?

Notes: As usual, I have a long author’s note, but holy cow, it’s the 10th Klaine Advent? I didn’t know that! I do know that it’s the 10 year anniversary of Little Numbers, the fic that got me into fics, so I thought it’d be apropos to give a little shout out.

But yeah, we’re back for another year, babes! I probably won’t finish it on time though, since I’m deeply invested in my other Snowbaz fic, but I am very stoked to see that people are still invested enough to do this on a yearly basis, even 6 years after the show ended. And also welcome to the new gleeks who found the show on Netflix!

The title is based on the song Sweet Water by Davina Michelle, a Dutch singer who apparently grew up in the city that borders Rotterdam. Thanks @quizasvivamos for giving me the idea to go for a water-inspired title.

Lastly, this story is written for a certain idiot.

AO3

SILENCE - Falsettos

2020

Normally, Blaine would ride his bike to university. After all, he’s integrated enough for that. But his bike is at the bicycle repair shop and yes, Blaine now has a ‘temporary’ bike from said bicycle repair shop, but he can’t live with that idiotic backward kick brake mechanic, so he opted for a metro ride instead.

The tram probably would’ve been faster, but the metro seems less crowded. Seems. It’s always crowded everywhere in big cities like this. The metro ride to the university is short, so Blaine’s on his phone and he doesn’t really pay attention to everyone around him. He’s listening to his showtunes playlist. Blaine might’ve ended his musical career before he even got a chance to start it, but he can always appreciate some good showtunes.

He leans back and Falsetto’s What Would I Do kicks in. What a great song about love and loss and regret.

I'd do it again I'd like to believe that I'd do it again And again, and again

That part gets Blaine every time. He looks around as he listens to one of the most beautiful songs in the world when he sees him.

Him.

Kurt Hummel is standing in the middle a train carriage and his eyes meet Blaine’s. This wouldn’t have been an unusual occurrence, if it wasn’t for the fact that they’re in Rotterdam, and that they haven’t spoken to each other in seven years.

Blaine blinks a couple of times, but he’s still here, still looking. It’s weird to see someone so familiar, but also so unknown. There was a moment in life where Blaine wanted to do nothing more than memorise every part of his beautiful face, and maybe even more, but right now he barely recognises the man in front of him. But it’s Kurt. His former best friend.

How do you approach someone who used to be the most important person in your life? What do you do when someone you swore you’d never speak again is in front of you?

Kurt must be going through a similar emotional journey, since he can’t look away, but he doesn’t greet Blaine either. The two are in the middle of a crowded metro carriage, but they stare at each other in silence. Luckily, both of them are saved by the announcer’s robotic voice.

“Station Kralingse Zoom. Busstation Erasmus Universiteit. Bus station Erasmus University. Station Kralingse Zoom.”

That’s Blaine’s stop. He looks away and he steps on the platform and walks away as fast as possible. He almost slams his OV-kaart against the RET portals. He needs to get out of here. It’s a ten minute walk to the Erasmus University, but the adrenaline makes it feel like it’s only taking him five minutes. Maybe that’s what’s happening.

He walks to the right classroom and Bella’s leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

“You look like crap,” she says as a greeting.

“I feel like crap,” Blaine says back, “What are you doing after class?”

“Are you finally making your father proud, Blaine?” Bella says with a playful smile. Blaine rolls his eyes, but in a good-mannered way.

“Nope, not today,” he says. Together they enter the lecture hall. “I just need some distraction.”

“Aren’t our upcoming exams distracting enough?”

Blaine groans and he sits down. He drops his bag in the seat next to him. Exams are indeed a pain in the ass and studying law is as terrible as one might expect.

“We can hit Sanders after class. A win-win.”

Sanders Law Library is the library of the Erasmus School of Law. Blaine knows that Bella wants to study, since she can’t afford to fail. No one can, to be honest. That’s the downside of studying at Erasmus University. If you don’t get all 60 EC in your first year, you’re out.

“Sanders is fine.”

It’s not like Kurt Hummel will show up at Sanders. Or maybe he will. Blaine didn’t even expect to see Kurt in Rotterdam of all places. He didn’t even expect to see Kurt at all. Ever. After everything.

He sits in this stupid chair, sulking. Bella notices and she pokes Blaine’s side.

“What’s up?” she has a frown on her face.

“Nothing,” Blaine lies easily and he knows that Bella can see through it, but Bella doesn’t push. Blaine gets his laptop and his Dopper and it’s time to pay attention to class. Kurt Hummel is no one to him. Let’s keep it that way.

End notes: Turns out that the EUR doesn’t offer a law degree in English, but you know what, this is an AU! Corona? No! Law degree? Yeah! I did consider moving the story to Maastricht or Groningen, but I just really wanted this story to be in Rotterdam... because I hate that place. (Sorry Rotterdammers, ik ben niet gewend aan de grote stad!)

#klaine advent: silence #klaine advent 2021 #klaineadvent #klaine advent #klaine #glee #holy fuck I wrote #2021 #multichaptered

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brightbeautifulthings · 3 years

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Any Way the Wind Blows by Rainbow Rowell

"'This thing between us didn't start with us dating. It didn't even start when you kissed me. You're in me so deep, I wouldn't know how to dig you out. I may get fed up with you ... But, Simon, I'll never get tired of you.'"

Year Read: 2021

Rating: 4/5

About: There are spoilers ahead for Carry On and Wayward Son. Back from their ill-advised American road trip, Penelope is trying to break Shepard's demon curse while Simon and Baz investigate a disappearance that might be connected with the rise of the new "Chosen One." Agatha is just trying to recover from yet another kidnapping while helping out at her dad's medical office when she meets Niamh, who is convinced that saving the ailing goats of Watford is the key to keeping the school safe. Trigger warnings: animal death, abduction, trauma, homophobia (countered), grief.

Thoughts: There was never a chance that I wasn't going to love a Simon Snow novel, but this is probably my least favorite of the series (with Carry On holding top place as one of my favorite books of all time). It's a bit longer than Wayward Son, and while that one felt not-quite-finished in the way of second books in a trilogy, this one feels almost unwieldy in size and structure. The group is split off from the beginning of the book, and there are three almost completely separate plots going on, none of which overlap in any significant way. On a character level, I think it's good for them to be working things out separately, but on a plot level, it doesn't quite work.

One of the things I wanted out of Wayward Son was characters having healthy conversations about their relationships and their trauma, and to its credit, AWtWB has that in abundance. So much of this series is about what happens to heroes after the story is over, and Simon and Baz have long needed to address some of their issues. I wasn't expecting to enjoy Penelope and Shepard's friendship development as much as I did; I came for the Snowbaz, but I'm here for this too. (Also, my girl is SO smart, with or without magic. I was screaming! Penelope ended up being my favorite part of this book.)

I think the biggest issue in this book is Agatha. I didn't have any strong feelings about her in Carry On, but I loved her attitude in Wayward Son; there's none of that here. She has little crossover with the other characters (and none that's on purpose-- she got kidnapped by vampires! Why is no one checking up on her?), and her whole plot with the goats at Watford feels out of place with the rest of the story. I like Niamh well enough, but their unlikely friendship comes over feeling a little forced. Plot-wise, it never really comes together with everything else that's going on, and my sense is that Rowell wasn't all that invested in Agatha's story. There are a handful of other threads left open-ended that I would have preferred answers on, given it's the "end" of the series, but fingers always crossed for another novel.

#book review #any way the wind blows #rainbow rowell #ya fantasy #lgbtq fiction #4/5 #rating: 4/5 #2021

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madraleen · 3 years

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Any Way The Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell) – 4/5 stars. More arbitrary stars under the cut, and jot-it-down-as-it happens commentary.

5 stars for Simon, Baz, and SnowBaz. 5 stars for the Salisburys, would recommend for a long lost family. 4 stars for Penny and Shepard. 3 stars for friendship shenanigans. 2,5 stars for Agatha, my sweet summer child why. 2,5 stars for the non SnowBaz-related conflicts, because huh? 2,5 stars for plot, because how did we get here? ??? stars for pace.

Commentary

-Lady Ruth!! We have an uncle! Simon, let’s find Jamie! -Simon, for fuck’s sake, answer the man’s texts, he deserves that much. Break my heart with unanswered texts, why don’t you. -I know this must happen. I know they must separate and breathe. I know. But it hurts. -Where is Agatha? I need her and her not giving two shits about any of this, I’m overwhelmed. -I don’t want Baz to find Simon. Somehow, I think that’ll be worse. Leaving him with a note is the worst thing (well, second worst next to saying nothing, I guess). -Lmfao, never has art in a book scared me so. A wand? Is it Baz’s? Why is it bent? WhAT DOes It ALL MEaN! -SIMON. I love you so much, Simon, please, use your words, even if it’s to give him closure, a reason, something. It’s hard, but Baz deserves it and you deserve it, please, love. -This is exactly how I’d pictured Baz reacting to Simon breaking up with him. -“Use your words,” he sneers. (That’s right, that’s my boy). SIMON, you’ve just cut out my heart and stomped on it, ey. -I understand Simon, but I also stuttered out cries when he said it’s not working between them because he’s not a magician. Baz, I’m with you, I support you, I love you. -I love that Baz’s brain works sharply even as he is in distress. - I do believe they’re endgame, so I’m super excited to see HOW, after all this. -“I never thought I’d be the first thing you ever gave up on.” Bazzzz, my man, the shade, I love you! -I expected the breakup in the beginning so that we’d have time to build up to being a thing again, but oh man. I understand Simon looking at Baz and only seeing who HE isn’t and what HE lost, but oh man. -Agatha is the best, yes Agatha, bring us relief! -Oomph, I’m so sad. How do we fix this, Baz is completely broken and Simon completely lost and overwhelmed. -Is there an overarching plot? There’s so many things – the goblins, Fiona’s rummaging, the curse, missing Jamie, maybe NowNext. Who’s the main antagonist? -Honestly, I just want to read about fierce Agatha and splendid Shepard rn, everything else hurts. -Please remind me henceforth to refer to vampires as “sexy bedbugs.” Thank you, Baz, I’m with you, I love you. -I absolutely adore Baz’s relationship with Daphne and his siblings. I’ve loved it since the glimpses in Carry On. -I think Fiona is seeing Nicodemus, I’ve believed so even before picking up the book. -Simon Snow is on our door?!?! What’s happening, what is happening! I’m getting whiplash! I was not prepared, wait, help! -“This is our soundtrack now.” Omfg, I love Baz. -But damn, I love Simon, I love his voice. If it all goes well, I can’t wait to reread the book with the necessary peace of mind to soak it all in in its proper context. -Lmfao, Simon says, "I came to tell you something" and I am honestly scared to turn the page and see what it is. This is going splendidly. -Baz slams the door on Simon’s face?! I fucking gasped and clutched my peals!!! Oh M Y GOD. -“I never believed in us”??? I understand what he’s saying, but oh my God, why have you come, Simon, why are you here, this hurts! -The way they CRY differently, Baz more restrained and Simon just letting the tears fall and licking them as needed, I absolutely adore it. -Where is this going, Simon, we’re all crying, are you happy now? (I know you’re not, I’m sorry, I love you, this is just hard). -This part is really just me hitting the book and biting my hand and muttering, “We’re fine, we’re fine, we’re fine,” with the occasional cry of “RAINBOWWWW.” -Simon is saying I love you Simon is saying I love you Simon is saying – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I gasped. So hard. Deep breaths. We’re fine. It’s fine. -I love this “trying” so much. I love my boys so much. -My heart is whole, my crops are watered, flowers are blooming, birds are singing, Simon and Baz are sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. -Simon is relieved that he’s still with Baz, I’m relieved that he still has wings, all is right. -“I just want to be with you,” I say. “And this is where we are now. I’m a broken-down mess, and you’re a rat-drinking monster.” Poetry. POETRY! -Shepard, you’re all I

need, these people are too much for me. -Reading fanfiction of what. Reading fanfiction of what, Penny. -Oh shut up, Shepard saved her chalks. -We should go to the Mage’s estate. -I love Simon. He has this pureness. -“Simon took the napkin, then licked the butter off his arm.” Yes, Simon, I love you. -Catch me at 1am making love oaths to Simon. Really, I can’t blame Baz, it’s just a Simon thing. -Omfg hold me, we’re going to Lady Ruth’s! -Low-key loving that the Salisburys and the Pitches are on good terms already. Love that the boys are hitting it off with Lady Ruth. -Smith-Richards is promising people magic? Oh. Oh, this took a turn. I have zero idea where any of this is going. -Okay, hello, I love Lady Ruth. -Obviously I’m more invested in Baz and Simon than in anyone else, but every time there’s a Baz or Simon chapter, I’m actually petrified at what might come. -Smith is shady, I don’t like him. -Baz really be serving looks in this book. -“I would have liked to have had you for a friend here.” Oh my bb boy Simon, that is so soft. -Oh shut up, Baz left a rose for Lucy. -WILL there be an emergency? Will Baz drink Simon’s blood? Why are we dwelling? -Simon, talk to Penny, my love. I know we’re doing the thing where you’re both recovering from your co-dependency, but seriously, love, talk to her. -Come on, Shep, kiss the girl!! Oomph, they’re so cute. -Oooh, we’re doing the deep cut, we’re doing Philippa, we’re tying off threads, nice! Also ouch. But nice. -NICODEMUS, called it. -Yayyy, the gang is reuniting. But who are we fighting? Who’s the antagonist? Why are the goats leaving? -Baz has a key?! Whoa, Simon! -Well, fuck indeed about your magic, Simon, but did you try calling the sword? -"So no one is cursed…” “Just you, babe.”Ahahahahaha! Sorry. -Will a goblin attack the flat? What was up with the goblin back at the beginning? -“Mmm,” he mmms. POETRY! -I’m sorry, Simon, you have a key to a hidden waterfall?! Care to elaborate? -Baz, my love, let Simon take care of you for once, it’s okay. He wants to do it. He can do it. -“I love you,” he says. “It’s good.” Awww, my bb Simon. -What do you mean immune to magic? What’s happening? -Oh wait, he’s culling the less powerful mages? Is that it? -I see you lying, Simon Snow. -Wait, but why is Simon immune? Is it because he’s a dead spot? -It IS a culling. -…What, that’s it? We’re just arresting Smith on a rooftop? That’s it? -IS Simon a dead spot? And if he is, does that mean that the magic will return? What does it all mean??? -But how did Lucy die??? -“y” S I M O N you’re a texting icon, I love you. -Baz, my man, I’m with you as usual, I don’t want the wings and tail gone either. -I have ten pages left and I’m hysterically hopeful and scared, with the amount of threads that are still loose. -But... a family sword? -Kinda disappointed that Simon didn’t get his magic back, but it’s a bold move, I respect it. -Agatha gets the epilogue?? That’s a choice.

#any way the wind blows #any way the wind blows spoilers #snowbaz #simon snow #book commentary #spoilers

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basiltonz · 3 years

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i’ve had a draft idea for a snowbaz au kicking around in my docs for a few months and its pretty fleshed out but i’m nervous about putting time into something that will kind of flop fandom-wise so i’m gauging interest!

its a pirate au, with simon as a pirate and baz as a prince. it has a lot of princess bride references and undertones, one of which being simon being “the mage” the same way wesley is “dread pirate roberts”! it focuses on simons strained relationship with davy because of his ‘bad pirating’ and baz’s discontent with his kingdom and develops into a story about them running away together. theres a lot of minor details i dont want to list, but thats the very bare essentials to the plot- please let me know if you would be interested in reading it because i’m kind of invested in it but writing takes a lot out of me so i want it to be... worthwhile

#carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #simon snow #baz pitch #snowbaz #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #penelope bunce #agatha wellbelove #sorry for all the tags i want this to reach people #simon snow series #fiona pitch

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losvrs · 3 years

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Ooh what books do you read

I always wanted to read books but I never do bc i have this weird thing about the texture of books so I dont like to touch them, thinking about getting a kindle even though I hate the thought of getting digital books, it feels like a waste of money ;-;

Honestly at the minute i will read anything. I stuck to dystopias for a while about 2 years ago but now i seem to just read anything fiction. One of my friends actually says that she really hates the feeling of books something about the pages makes her physically cringe so she reads on a kindle so maybe it’s a good investment to make. Personally I hate digital just because i’m obsessed with the smell of books there’s just something about the smell of books that is perfect anyway i’m getting off track. Yeah some of my favourite books (you’ll see how random they are ) are :

The lovely bones- Alice Sebold

The Handmaid’s tale- Margaret Atwood (i’m not allowed to read the testaments yet because it’s part of my a-level course and writing about the sequel would get us penalised if we made that mistake)

The collector- John Fowles (very dark but I read the whole thing in about 5 hours and i’m in love with it)

and ofc carry on by Rainbow Rowell because ✨snowbaz✨

#anon #just ranting about books :))#now i see why my friends don’t let me speak

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waywardfangirl · 4 years

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Slow

Hi y’all! This is my first (published) fic in this fandom, and I’m so excited to share it with everyone! I wrote this based off of the prompt “slow” from @carryonsparks (which I absolutely love by the way, it’s such a great idea!)

Simon accidentally slows down time when he finds himself feeling overwhelmed before Christmas in eighth year. Luckily, Baz is there to help sort things out.

“I just wanted everything to stop for a second so that I could think.”

Baz huffs a little laugh. “I guess we should all be glad you don’t think more often then, if this is what happens.”

When I don’t respond he drops his teasing tone and tips his head a bit, trying to get me to meet his eyes. “What do you need to think about so badly that time has to stop, Snow?”

(Snowbaz, General Audiences, 3319 Words, No Archive Warnings, un-beta’d)

You can read it on AO3 here, or you can read it below the cut - Enjoy!

Simon

It’s too much. It’s all just too much and I feel like I’m going to boil over if I don’t have a second to figure things out. Ever since I was Visited by Baz’s mum, I’ve felt like I’ve been losing control of things, even more than normal. Like there’s an inside joke that everyone gets except for me, or like how I sometimes feel when I’m trying to grab something in a dream, but I don’t know what it is, and it keeps slipping through my fingers. I feel like I’m missing something and like I’m on the verge of complete panic. I’m nervous and jumpy at the weirdest times, and I feel like I can’t quite catch my breath even when I’m relaxing in my room.

With those feelings smashing around in my chest, it almost feels like some cruel trick when I walk into class after lunch and hear Miss Possibelf announce that we’re going to be working on slowing spells today. I feel like I need time to slow down, or just for time to pause entirely, and yet instead of teaching us how to do that, something that I’m in desperate need of, we’re going to be learning how to slow down things that are flying at us. I mean, I suppose that’s an important enough skill to have, but if something’s flying at me in a fight, I’ll just duck or use my sword. Either way, I really don’t want to slow down the tennis balls that are being lobbed at my head. Even worse, it’s Baz who’s throwing them at me, because Miss Possibelf assigned partners for us today. He’s been a bit nicer since our truce, but I still don’t want him throwing things at my face or watching as I attempt to cast anything.

“If you hit me, that counts as antagonistic behavior.” Baz had promised not to antagonize me, and I really hope that part of our truce holds up today, because I feel like the littlest push could make me crack apart.

He just smirks and raises one of his perfect eyebrows. “I hope your spell work is up to par then.”

I bite down the words trying to rise in my throat – they won’t come out right anyway, they never do around him – and stomp over to grab a tennis ball. I lob it at him as I walk back to his desk, not giving him any warning, but he still casts the spell flawlessly, and snags the ball out of the air from where it’s barely inching along its trajectory.

“I could count that as antagonistic behavior too, you know. Most people don’t throw things at their acquaintances like that.”

For some reason, Baz’s words make the weird feeling in my chest get even worse. He didn’t even sound upset when he said it, it was more like he was joking around with a friend, but he was also quick to point out that we aren’t friends. We’re acquaintances, even if that seems like a really strange word to use when describing the person who you’ve lived with for the past seven and a half years, and the person who you’re supposed to kill someday.

“Are you ready, Snow?” He holds the ball up, and I try to focus on it. Intention counts when casting spells, so I think about how I just want everything to slow down, how I just need a moment where everything stops moving-

And then he throws the tennis ball.

“Slow up!”

I’m so focused on the tennis ball that for a moment I’m ecstatic. It stops in mid-air, and I can’t believe that I got the spell right on my first try! Then, I look around the classroom, and I realize that I really didn’t.

“What did you do, Snow?” Baz is the only other person in the room who doesn’t seem to be frozen. He’s looking around at all of our classmates, frozen in time, and all of the tennis balls hanging in mid-air.

“I didn’t mean to…” I trail off, not knowing what else to say. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why Baz seems to be the only one immune to however I mangled the spell. He’s now firing off spells of his own, clearly trying to undo whatever I just did.

“What were you thinking of, when you cast the spell?” He sounds way less angry than I would have expected. “Intention matters, after all.”

“I know, I’m not a first year!” He’s being nice, but I still feel jittery, even more on-edge than I was before mucking up. “I was thinking about how I wanted it to slow down.”

One of his eyebrows is arched again. “How you wanted what to slow down? Just the tennis ball?”

He’s been in classes and shared a room with me for long enough to know how these screwups usually go. He’s also alarmingly perceptive sometimes, and it’s annoying.

“No,” I finally mumble.

“Come on, Snow, use your words. Tell me what you were thinking about, and we’ll see if we can fix this.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

He looks almost shocked for a moment, before his face settles back into his usual bored look.

“We’re on a truce. And I don’t want to be stuck in time or whatever it is that you’ve done forever.”

I duck my head and then scuff my toe on the ground for a few seconds, before saying quietly, “I just wanted everything to stop for a second so that I could think.”

Baz huffs a little laugh. “I guess we should all be glad you don’t think more often then, if this is what happens.” When I don’t respond he drops his teasing tone and tips his head a bit, trying to get me to meet his eyes. “What do you need to think about so badly that time has to stop, Snow?”

He’s being far too nice, almost kind, or friendly, and that just makes everything worse somehow. He’s not supposed to be soft, we’re just supposed to tolerate each other and not actively make any attempts on the other’s life until we figure out who killed his mum. He’s not supposed to make me feel anything other than disgust, or hatred, or anger, or whatever.

I want to ignore him. I don’t want to answer his questions, or open up to him, or let him know anything about what’s happening in my mind. But I also feel like the walls of the room are closing in around me, and he’s the only person who can help, and even though I don’t want him here, I really want him to help me.

“Everything, I guess. It’s just, there’s a lot. And- I don’t know what to do with it? It’s just too much, and I want it to stop happening so fast, or not happening at all, I don’t know, I just- ugh.” I break off on a frustrated sigh, I don’t know to explain the tight feeling in my chest and all the conflicting thoughts in my head.

“Have you tried talking to Bunce about it?” He wrinkles his nose after asking, but when I shake my head no and rake my hands through my curls he still tries again.

“Would it help you to talk about it with me?”

I’ve never heard Baz sound so unsure in his entire life, and my shock at hearing him volunteer to talk about my problems with me is what forces me finally make eye contact, my head whipping up so fast I’m surprised my neck doesn’t crack. My eyes must be as big as saucers.

For his part, Baz also looks sort of out of his element, but he really does seem to be earnest about helping (and maybe like he’d also like to disappear right about now). (I know that’s how I feel.)

“Alright, yeah, I guess we can try that.” I sit down on the ground, because for some reason that feels like the least awkward thing to do, and I rest my elbows on my bent knees. Baz follows suit, although he crosses his legs instead of pulling them into his chest, and then just sits there looking at me, his head slightly tilted to one side as he waits for me to speak.

Merlin, he’s actually giving me a chance to find the right words for once.

I play with the cuff of my jumper as I cast about for something to say, trying to figure out how to even begin explaining everything that feels wrong.

“I’ve been feeling really, I dunno, off? I guess? I feel like I can’t catch on to what’s happening, and when I do nothing feels the way it should.” It’s a rubbish explanation, but Baz still tries his best to understand.

“In classes? With your spell work? Doesn’t Bunce help you study?” I’m grateful that he doesn’t point out that I’ve been at least a little off academically since I arrived at Watford, and not just these past few months.

“No, I mean, not really. Classes still feel the same, and my magic hasn’t really changed I don’t think, it’s just everything else. Everything that’s happening. Or, not happening?” I don’t know why I feel like I’m asking him to clarify things for me, but he keeps trying.

“Do you mean outside of Watford? Are you talking about the war? Or the Humdrum? Or are you just worried about graduating and having to pick out your own clothes afterwards?”

I can tell that Baz is trying to interject a bit of levity by teasing me, but it falls flat. He’s trying to look like he doesn’t care, like he isn’t invested, but he’s holding himself just a little too still for that to be believable. I’ve shared a room with him for seven years, I know his tells.

I start to tug at my shoelace.

“It’s the war, I guess, and maybe the Humdrum too. I just feel like I should be doing something, or something should be happening, and it’s not. The Mage isn’t talking to me, and when he does he won’t give me a straight answer, and I know there’s supposed to be some big epic showdown where we have to fight, but no one’s really told me what to do about that yet, and I feel like we’re running out of time.”

By the time I’m done talking my shoelace is twisted around my index finger and I’m pulling it so hard that my fingernail is going purple. I can feel my magic pushing to the surface, and I take deep breaths, trying to calm down a bit. Baz is just sitting there, still unmoving, staring at me blankly, until he bursts out laughing.

“I’m sorry, are you complaining to me because no one has given you the orders to kill me yet?”

His laughter snaps me out of it. I’m not exactly calm, but I’m surprised enough that I answer honestly.

“I guess, yeah. But I don’t want to, and I know I haven’t really said that, but that’s part of the problem too.”

He raises one eyebrow. “You don’t want to kill me?”

I’ve already told him that I don’t, I can’t really say anything else. “No. I mean, you’re a git, but you don’t hurt people. Well, you hurt me, you attack me all the time, but you don’t hurt anyone else. Do you want to kill me?”

I don’t know why I’m asking, he taunts me weekly with reminders that he’ll be the one to finish me off. But instead of answering, Baz just deflates a little bit. For a moment he looks less like a villain and more like an uncertain boy.

Finally, he says quietly, “No. I don’t want to kill you either.” He seems almost ashamed to be admitting it, but I feel like we’re finally making progress.

“That’s great! Then we won’t! We can just sit out that battle, say ‘no thank you!’, and have one less thing to worry about. We can figure out what happened to your mum, deal with the Humdrum, and then just, retire or something I guess.”

The corner of Baz’s mouth is ticking up a bit, and I can tell that he’s indulging me. “Oh really, Snow? You’re thinking about retirement already? You’re not even in to your second decade on this planet and you’re all ready to become a pensioner; who would have guessed the Chosen One was so short-sighted?”

“We don’t have to properly retire, Baz, but we could take a break from all of the life-or-death stuff. You know, house in the countryside, a garden, a pet, you could drain the blood from the rats that try to invade the henhouse, that sort of thing.”

I expect him to rise to the bait with my vampire comment, but instead it looks like his face is trying to flush.

“Are you suggesting that we retire together?”

Oh.

“Well, no, I just kind of meant we could each have a quiet life, but why not?” He’s getting flustered, and I want to see if it’s possible for his cheeks to actually turn red. “We’ve already agreed that we don’t want to kill each other, and you’re a decent enough roommate when you’re not being a prick. You’d keep the cottage tidy, and you could cook dinner for us.” It’s work not to laugh, but I want to push him just a bit further. “We could get a cat or something, and the two of you could fight over the rats!” I’m about to lose myself to laughter, and Baz is staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.

“You want me to retire to a cottage with you to be a vampiric 1950’s housewife? I think not, Snow. Besides, you’re a slob, I wouldn’t want to clean up after you all day.” He hesitates, then adds, “And I’m not a very good cook.”

I pretend to gasp in shock. “There is something the perfect Basilton Grimm-Pitch doesn’t excel at!” I nudge his knee with my foot.

“Yes, but that’s the only thing, I can assure you,” he sneers, before softening his features again. “Was that it, Snow? You stopped time because you didn’t want to kill me?”

I pause for a moment and take stock. I definitely feel a bit better, but some of the jittery unease is still twisting in my chest. Baz can’t really help with the Mage or the Humdrum right now, but maybe we can sort out one other thing while the world waits for us.

“That’s definitely a big part of it. And it’s good to know that you don’t want to kill me either. But,” I take a breath and decide to just go for it, to blunder on ahead and fix anything I mess up later (it’s always worked for me before), “what are we?”

“Excuse me?” His eyebrow is arched again.

“Earlier you said we were acquaintances, but we’ve lived together for seven years, so shouldn’t we be something more than that?”

I don’t know why my brain is so stuck on that, but right now I feel like this is the only thing I have to sort out, everything else can wait until later.

“What do you want us to be? I don’t think that mortal enemies or nemeses is really appropriate now that we’ve agreed not to slaughter each other.”

He’s being stubborn on purpose now, I can tell. It’s like he’s run out of his daily dose of compassion, and so he’s going to hide the rest of it away under his snark. I push on anyway, trying to get him to be reasonable.

“I dunno, friends? What do most roommates call each other?”

He snorts. “I think it depends who you’re talking about. I highly doubt Bunce would call her pixie roommate a friend, although there are individuals like Dev and Niall who lie on the other end of that spectrum.”

“I’d rather be like Dev and Niall. It’s exhausting not to be friends with someone you see all the time.”

Baz looks again like he would be blushing if he had enough blood for it. “You… you want to be friends?”

“Yeah, why not? We’re already under a truce, how much harder could it be? I’ll try to be quieter in the mornings, you’ll stop insulting me, and it’ll be great.”

“If your friendship means that I’ll get to sleep a few minutes later in the morning, then yes, by all means, let’s be friends, Simon.”

Baz looks a bit dejected, but I’m beaming. I feel like we might be on our way to solving something.

“You called me Simon.”

His eyes widen a bit, but he tries to play it off.

“I most assuredly did not.”

“You did! You called me Simon! You do like me!”

I know I sound like a child, and I’m practically bouncing up and down which doesn’t help either, but Baz has never called me Simon in the entire time we’ve known each other, and the fact that he finally has is making my heart beat faster with excitement because I feel like I’ve finally won, but in such a way that he didn’t have to lose, and even though he’s frozen up again, I finally know what to do to loosen the knot in my chest. I don’t let myself think about it, I just fall forward onto my knees, grab his face in my hands, and press my lips to his.

For a moment, nothing happens. Baz is still frozen, and I start to wonder if maybe I shouldn’t have done this after all. But then, he starts to move. He presses back into me, and it feels like time has stopped for us too.

I’m kissing a boy.

I’m kissing my roommate.

I’m kissing Baz.

After an unknown amount of time he pulls away, but I don’t let him go far. His hands have fallen to my waist, and his grip there is just as firm as my own.

“Simon, what…” His pupils are blown wide, and his eyes keep jumping between my eyes and my mouth.

“You called me Simon again,” I whisper, and pull him back in for another kiss. He goes willingly, but pulls back again far too soon.

“What’s wrong?”

“What are you doing?” I furrow my brows, I thought it was pretty obvious that we were snogging. “This isn’t what typical friends or roommates do, Snow.” His face looks pinched, like he’s trying to guard himself, and I want the wrinkle on his forehead to relax. So, I kiss him one more time, then pull back just enough to remind him that we’ve never been typical roommates, and I see no need to start that now if we can just do this instead. He laughs at that, just a quiet chuckle, and then he finally kisses me.

Eventually, we break apart and just spend a few seconds looking at each other. I’m feeling almost shy, but Baz doesn’t let that last. He stands up, dusting off his trousers, and then offers me a hand. I pull myself up but don’t let go as he says, “Shall we try to fix the mess you’ve made now, Snow?” He squeezes my hand so I know that he doesn’t mean anything unkind by it, and I grab for my wand.

It turns out I’m pretty good at cleaning up messes, once I have a little time to think. The classroom comes back to life as soon as I try casting Hurry up!, and once class is over Baz and I spend the rest of the day cleaning up seven years of messes, hidden away from everyone else in our tower.

#snowbaz fic #my fic #carry on sparks #slow #wayward fangirl writes #carry on #simon snow #baz pitch

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kuiinncedes · 4 years

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10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms

Thanks sm @byebyeblainey and @gorgxoxus for the tag!! 💕💕 let’s see if I can remember what fandoms I’m in 😂

1. Kurt Hummel - Glee

Do I need a reason lol look at this cutieeeeee

For the rest I don’t feel like reposting art and like art credit and stuff so yeah lol i don’t watch a lot of shows or movies... so the rest are probably gonna be books 😗✌️

2. Tessa Gray - The Shadowhunter Chronicles

My queen my wife the love of my life

3. Jason Grace - Heroes of Olympus

My overhated bbyyyyy 🥺 Jason will always be my Boy Percy Jackson who?? Jkjk lol don’t come for me for that comment aksbdhdjsjsjsjs and he’s the first fictional character I really Stanned 🥺

4. Inej Ghafa - Six of Crows

A fucking badass but also so sweet and like just I fell in love with her so quickly reading this book

5. Citra Terranova - Arc of a Scythe

I can’t remember anything about my favorite characters and why I love them 😂 but idk Citra’s great

6. Princess Dennaleia - Of Fire and Stars

I love her so much and more people need to read this duology!!!!! Gay princesses and magic what more do you need in a book lol please read it

7. Baz Pitch - Carry On

Icon and I love him and I love Snowbaz and yeah I don’t remember anything 😂

8. Aelin Ashryver Galathynius - Throne of Glass

A literal queen lol but idk I loved her story and lowkey want to reread it but that’s not gonna happen lol

9. Azriel - A Court of Thorns and Roses

I don’t really care about this series or author anymore but I’m more invested in the throne of glass series and I dont really remember much of acotar lol but uhh I think Az is my favorite

10. Elena Alvarez - One Day at a Time

Omg another show I’ve watched 😂

I have so many books and series on my tbr and unread on my shelf that I’m never getting tooooo 🤪✌️

Tagging: @sugarcarnation @kurtanaaa @gleeincorrectquotes @daisychaindemon and everyone who wants to and hasn’t been tagged!! <3

#tag games

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otherpeoplesheartachept-2 · 4 years

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Undercover

Carry On Countdown Day 25

Pairing: Snowbaz

Length: 1555 words

Genre: angst?, pinning?

AN: aka the one where Baz (once again) pins Simon against the wall asking what the fuck is up. aaka the one where Simon possesses Dev just as Baz decides to come out.

I blink into the room, sitting on the floor with Baz and Nial. This must be Nial’s room. Before I can take in any more of my surroundings Baz says,

“I’m gay,” like it isn’t a big deal. (Even though it clearly is. How could it not be?!) Nial matches his calm energy, with a smile and a pat on the shoulder. “And…” He continues more hesitant (what else could there be??) “I- I think I’m in love with Simon Snow.” He swallows.

A look of confusion and slight disgust crosses Nial’s face. (what What WHAT WHAT!)

“No,” He shakes his head and breathes in. “I know I’m in love with Snow.” He says, gray eyes closed. “I’m tired of not being honest with myself, and you guys.” It’s obvious this is a very vulnerable moment for Baz (One I should NOT BE A PART OF).

Oh shit. Oh shit! Penny said Dev should still be able to see (and act) in his own body, I’m just borrowing his perspective but, what if the spell went wrong? What if I messed up Baz’s coming out. Oh SHIT I was not supposed to know he’s gay. And in love...

WITH. ME.

I need to go. I don’t know how to get out of Dev’s head but Penny said she’d pull me out. I need to be pulled out right now.

Nial makes some joke about plotting against me in vain but I’m too busy thinking “RIGHT NOW” as loud as I can. I have no idea if Penny will be able to get that.

She was right. Penny is always right. This was a terrible idea. I just wanted to see what he was plotting. Not- not this!! I’ve ruined everything.

By now Nial and Baz are looking at me (Dev) because he (I) hasn’t said anything yet. That’s bad, right? I have to think of something supportive and nice and Dev-like to say. A billion alarm bells are going off in my head. My mouth flops open like a dead fish but no supportive words fall out. Shitshitshit.

“Uh-” I feel myself ripped from Dev’s body. Finally. Hopefully Dev, fully in control of himself, will say something nice to Baz. Merlin, I thoroughly cocked this one up. My head pounds and rings and then I’m opening my eyes, Penny sitting crisscross in front of me.

“What happened? Did it work? Could you see, hear, talk?” When I don’t say anything she snaps her fingers in front of my inevitably shocked face. “Details, I need details about how the spell worked, Simon.”

I try to clear my mind of Baz’s confessions and focus on what the spell actually did. “I um-’ I run a hand across my face and up into my curls “I could see and hear and I think I could talk but I didn’t have a chance.”

Her face lights up with this information. Despite warning me against invading Baz’s privacy and Dev’s autonomy (I’m not even sure what that word means), she’s very invested in how this spell works. Penny’s furiously scribbling notes on a pad. “Interesting. I was hoping you could see and hear, but speaking through another person is amazing! Could you move Dev’s body?”

“No. I don’t know. I didn’t really try.” I say. I forgot about testing the limits and abilities of the spell as soon as I got there.

Penny rambles on about the spell but I can’t stop thinking about what Baz said. What I did. I know Penny warned me about this, but he’s evil! And plotting and I needed to know what exactly. I thought my life was in danger. But, it looks like I’m not in danger, and I’ve definitely invaded Baz’s privacy. Great Snakes, what am I supposed to do about this?

I try to be nicer to Baz. I mean, he’s in love with me(??) For the first day or two I thought maybe it was part of his plot but, he couldn’t know that I was going to possess Dev and even if he did, he couldn’t have known when.

So, he was telling the truth. Basilton Pitch doesn’t hate me.

He likes me.

He… loves me.

I stop picking fights with Baz. It feels excessively cruel. I don’t follow him to the catacombs, I even smile at him sometimes. I try not to let on that I look at him differently now, that I know something new now, but I can’t keep my eyes off of him.

My every waking moment is filled with thoughts of Baz and what he said. I go through a flurry of emotions but I’m surprised to find disgust isn’t one of them. Then I worry it’s some perverted ego boost when I discover I kind of like the thought. I mean, it’s definitely gross to like the idea of your enemy liking you if you hate them, right?

I notice he tries to antagonize me more, but I can’t engage. I’ve never been good at comebacks with Baz, but I don’t even get as angry when he insults me. My magic doesn’t rise as high, and I think he hates it. But I know he doesn’t mean most of what he says. Or maybe he does but he still doesn’t hate me. I can’t figure out why he says he does if he doesn’t. But I’m sure that me finding positivity in knowing he doesn’t is some kind of fucked up.

I’m stuck with that until one day I start thinking about my feelings towards Baz and not just what he said. I mean, I don’t really hate him. Maybe I never have. He’s a total posh wanker, but he’s also smart, and bloody attractive, and shit. What if I like Baz?

“What is wrong with you?” He snarls, pushing me against the dorm room wall about a week later. I panic, but figure it’s probably best to come clean at this point.

“I know.” Is all I say. His face drops but he continues to hold confidence in his body.

“Know what, Snow?” I’m not sure how to answer. I really really shouldn’t know anything. He doesn’t want me to know.

I look past his shoulder as I say, “That you- um- you’re gay.” He steps back from me and pulls his shirt sleeve down. “Which is totally fine! I mea-”

“How did you find out?” He asks flatly.

“Well, I temporarily inhabited Dev’s body.” My voice going higher with each word like a question. I can’t look him in the eyes and it seems he can’t look at me either.

“When? What exactly did you hear?” He says like this isn’t a big deal. (It is, I know for a fact it is.)

“I uh, I heard the thing about me if that’s what you mean...” I can hear the guilt seeping in my voice. I stare at my shoes. “And it’s cool, I’m not like grossed out or uh anything. I don’t want you to like feel bad, it just didn’t feel r-right fighting with you, knowing what I know. I shouldn’t know, I know, I- I’m really sorry, Baz.”

He scoffs but I could swear his eyes are watering. “I don’t need your fucking pity, Snow,” he spits with venom, arms crossed. “And I certainly don’t need your fucking mercy. Now The Chosen One feels bad for his evil, lovesick roommate, better go easy on him.” He lets out a harsh laugh. “It’s okay, Snow, my poor queer heart can still handle a few blows.” His infuriating eyebrow raises.

“Baz.” I’m not fully sure why, but I feel sad for him. Sad he has to pretend this isn’t hurting him. “It’s not like that! I- I like it better when we aren’t fighting. I’ve liked this whole week, of almost friendly existence. I- I think I’d like more…” I say before I can even think. But it’s true. I know it’s true. I like Baz, I fancy him.

He looks like he’s about to fall apart and I wish more than anything I could stop making him feel like this. “You know I can’t.” He says lowly, dangerously.

“Look.” I tug on my hair, desperate to make this okay, to explain myself. “I don’t care about the Old Families, or the war. And I know it’s probably not fair to you to say all this, knowing you feel more than I do right now. But, can’t we try? Can’t you give me a chance?”

“Simon.” He says it like a warning. Like a snake rattling its tail. I step close to him and gently place my palm on his cheek. He flinches from it, then leans into my warmth. “You’re-”

“I’m attracted to you Baz.” I say. Something flashes in his eyes. I lean in for a small, sweet kiss, trying to convey what I’m saying is true. “And-” I pull back “-If you can forgive me, I want to like you even more.”

He tentatively reaches a cold hand up to my face. Baz looks scared and vulnerable. The most vulnerable I’ve ever seen him. Slowly, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

It might take a while for us to figure this out but I like it so much more than fighting.

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parijpg · 4 years

Note

For the reader meme thing ☺️💕 A9 B9 C10 D10

Thanks so much for the ask 💕💕

A9. Who was your first ship?

If this is strictly in the context of fanfiction, then I think it was Draco and Hermione🤭 I even wrote some suuuuper cringe Dramione fanfics. I don’t really ship them anymore, but there’s some really well characterised and cute Dramione fics out there!

If we’re not talking about fanfiction, then I’d go back to my 6 year old self shipping Syaoran and Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura hehe.

B9. Who is your OTP?

Oh boy, who isn’t?! Right now I’m obsessed with Snowbaz (like I needed to say that) but my all time OTP has to be Drarry. Like, I’ve never been as invested in a pairing a much as Drarry and I’m pretty sure I spent 90 percent of my teenage years reading Drarry fanfiction. It has a really special place in my 💓

C10. What book could you just never get into, no matter how hard you tried?

Hmm, this makes me sad because I used to finish all the books I started reading even if I didn’t like them much and now I struggle to finish even the ones I love :( Audible really helps though!

To answer the question, I suppose The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho? Everyone around me was raving about the book at the time but it was not for me.

D10. What is one story idea you really want to read but no one has written yet?

Well I’m yet to read tons of Snowbaz fanfiction so I don’t know it if has been written, but I’d love to read an apocalypse AU! Any recs?!

Also all the ideas I have in my head but am too lazy to write myself!

(Simon and Baz pass each other on their way to work every day and can’t bring themselves to talk to each other ft. Suit wearing! Baz and hoodie wearing graphic designer! Simon.

Simon, Baz and Agatha work in the same building and after a messy breakup with Agatha, Simon finds his way to the roof to avoid her. He finds Baz there on his “smoke break” but he’s sctually draining a pigeon dry.

Umbrella sharing fic! )

Well, sorry about that wall of text🤭

#thanks for the ask #i love talking about fanfics #a bit too much

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angelsfalling16 · 5 years

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True Love Mistletoe

Inspired by this prompt from @ace-of-haerts

Read it on ao3

Pairing: Dev x Niall (and a bit of snowbaz)

Summary: It's the annual Christmas party, and two people are brought together by a magical mistletoe.

Word Count: 2972

A/N: I know it’s only June, but I wrote a Christmas deniall fic! I hope you all like it!! Thank you @andakillerqueen for encouraging me to write this as a full fic! <3

***

Dev

I sneak down the stairs and into the kitchen, hoping to avoid the party that’s currently going on in the living room. It’s the Families’ annual Christmas party, and I’m usually safely hidden away in my room before any of the guests arrive, but some of them are early.

I’ve just come down to grab some food while I wait for Niall to arrive. As I step into the kitchen, I glance up to see the mistletoe that hangs above the entrance. I don’t know why my parents thought that that was a good place to hang it. It’s like it’s just waiting to trap unsuspecting people who just come in here to get some food.

I pass under it, and nothing happens. That was to be expected, though, because even though this is a magical mistletoe, it’s also a special type. People have deemed it the True Love Mistletoe. I doubt that’s it’s actual name, but it does do it justice.

If you step under it with someone, and the two of you have true love, you supposedly feel a pull to each other that can’t be broken until you kiss. It is unquestionably true love’s kiss.

But only if you’re lucky enough to find that person to begin with, which is why I’ve never been kissed beneath it. I’m only eighteen, so I shouldn’t be worrying about it, but there is a large part of me that worries I’ll never find the person who I’m meant to be with because I’m too busy being hung up on someone who will never feel the same.

I practically at glare at the mistletoe as I pass beneath it, hating how it has the power to bring two people together as well as the ability to tear people apart, which is why I don’t know why they insist on hanging it up every year.

As far as I know, the Families are the only ones who still know how to get ahold of this particular plant. You’d think that they want to avoid it after seeing the amount of marriages destroyed and affairs outed, but I suppose that’s part of the Christmas tradition. That, or it’s just for the entertainment aspect of the drama.

Shaking my head, I move over to the counter where various food items sit, trying to decide what would be the best snacks to take back to my room with me. There are various trays sitting there, waiting for guests to arrive and take from them.

“Hey, Dev,” my mom says, entering behind me.

“Hey. Niall and his parents will be here soon, and then, Niall and I will be up in my room.”

“You know that you are always welcome to join the actual party.”

I shake my head. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

“Okay. Have fun.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and those little sandwiches over there are delicious,” she says gesturing at one of the trays. “You should definitely get some of those before they’re all gone.”

She leaves me alone in the room again, and I finish gathering plates of food, enough that we hopefully won’t have to venture back down here during my parents’ Christmas party. I carefully carry the plates of food up the stairs to my room and just barely manage to get my door open without dropping any of it.

As the door swings open, my heart begins to race. Niall is already here, looking stunning in a charcoal suit. He’s kicked his shoes off and is just lounging on my bed, looking like that’s the place he belongs, in my bed. Or more accurately, on my bed.

He looks up and smiles at me, and it takes everything in me not to drop the plates I’m carrying as I feel my face warm just slightly.

“Hey,” I say, clearing my throat and looking away from him as I move to set the plates on my desk. “When’d you get here?”

“Just a minute ago. Your father said that I could come on up here.”

“You know that you didn’t have to wear a suit, right?” I say, fiddling with the plates a bit so that I don’t have to turn and look at him again just yet, trying to steady the racing of my heart in my chest.

“My mom made me, and don’t worry, I brought a change of clothes.”

“Good because that is not appropriate attire for movie night?”

“Are you saying I look bad?” He asks, and I tense slightly as I hear him slide off of my bed, knowing that he’s growing closer.

I turn to look at him, surprised. He could never look bad, especially not in that particular suit. I remember him wearing it to our Leavers Ball and wishing that I could ask him to dance with me. After seeing Baz and Simon dance together, barely caring what others might think of it, I was dying to ask Niall to dance, but the opinion of others wasn’t the only thing that was holding me back because there is of course the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way about me.

“What? No. It looks fine.” More than fine actually.

“I was kidding,” he says with a lopsided smile. “I’ll be right back.”

“Right.” I nod, wishing that the movement would help clear my thoughts. “I’ll grab the movies and get them set up.”

“Great.”

Once he’s gone from the room, I move to one of my bookshelves and scan through the movies that rest there for the scariest horror movies that I can find. This is a tradition that Niall, Baz, and I have. Every year, there’s a big Christmas party on Christmas Eve that our parents drag us to, but we decided long ago that we were not going to partake in the boring party that goes on downstairs, being forced to make small talk with people we barely know.

Instead, we do a sort of protest to all things Christmas during that time. It’s a little childish, but it isn’t something you can just stop after years of it, so every year, we gather and watch horror films.

With everything that was going on last year, what with the possible war coming, the party was cancelled, which seems to have turned out really well for Baz. I’m really hoping that he shows up at some point, even if he’s late, because I need someone here to be a buffer between me and Niall so that I don’t accidentally go spewing my feelings at him.

It wouldn’t do any good to start that now, not after all these years.

I hear my bedroom door open and turn around with the small stack of movies in hand - we’ll only make it through one or two of the movies, but I wanted choices - to see Niall, who is now wearing sweatpants and skin tight t-shirt. He looks just as good in casual clothing as he does in a suit, and I have to force myself not to stare at him.

“Is Baz coming?” He asks after a moment when I don’t say anything, and I know that I’m doing a terrible job of not staring.

“Maybe,” I say, shaking myself and turning toward the dvd player to pop in one of the movies. “He and Simon are celebrating their anniversary, but he said that he would try to make it. I told him that he could bring Simon if he wanted to.”

“Ugh, does that mean that they’re going to make out in front of us during the movie?”

“Oh, uh, I didn’t think about that. I seriously hope not.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them, but the next time I see them kiss, it’d better be at their wedding because I have seen them kiss enough times to last me a lifetime.”

“Same here. Just don’t mention things like that to Baz.”

“Kissing?”

“No. Weddings.”

“He’s worried that Simon is going to leave him.”

“Wait, why? Did something happen?”

“No,” I roll my eyes and pick up the remote, moving to grab the plates of food and handing one to Niall.

When I sit on my bed, I sit as close to edge as possible so that when Niall joins me, there is plenty of space left between us.

“Baz is just being an idiot and worrying about nothing. There’s a small part of him that believes he doesn’t deserve anything good.” I sigh, feeling bad for him but also sorry for myself as I watch Niall out of the corner of my eye. “He’s working on it, though.”

“After everything that he’s been through - that both of them have been through - they deserve to be happy.”

“Yeah.”I nod in agreement. “Alright, let’s stop talking about them and get the movies started.”

“Agreed.” He smiles at me again, and while this isn’t a rare occurrence, it never fails to make the butterflies in my stomach stir.

The movie begins, and I’m hyperaware of every movement that Niall makes. He brushes his hair out of his face, and my fingers itch to touch it. He shifts on the bed, and I want to move closer.

I try to force myself to focus on the movie, but it’s difficult when Niall is so close to me. I pick at the food on my plate and try to get invested in the main character of the movie. He’s being told a story about the local monster, and predictably, he doesn’t believe it’s true.

About twenty minutes into the movie, I give up trying to sit still and watch it. I need an excuse to get out of here for a bit.

“I’m going to go make some popcorn,” I declare.

“You’re going downstairs?” Niall asks with raised brows, surprised that I’m changing the rules of our little tradition, but it’s hard to keep up a tradition when Baz isn’t here to sit between us, effectively preventing me from staring at him the whole time.

I shrug. “I’ll be careful to avoid people. Don’t worry, I won’t abandon you up here.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“You don’t have to,” I begin, but he’s already starting to stand up.

“Come on. It will be easier to get out having a conversation with people if there are two of us.”

Sighing, I pause the movie, and we head downstairs together. Luckily, no one is near enough to see us approach, so we’re able to get to the kitchen without anyone trying to talk to us. I just hope no one is in the kitchen.

As we get closer, I realize that I forgot about the mistletoe. I’ve managed to avoid being anywhere near this thing with people that I could possibly like because it’s too much pressure. It breaks couples apart when they aren’t drawn together underneath it, or when they’re drawn to the wrong person - or, the right person, but not the person they’re in a relationship with.

I never wanted to find out whether Niall could ever feel the same way about me, and especially not like this. I know he doesn’t like me, and I don’t need a freaking mistletoe to tell me that. Now, as we step into its radius, I brace myself for what will happen. I expect it to push us apart, but that won’t happen. It doesn’t do anything unless the people underneath it have true love.

So, as I pass underneath it, I don’t expect anything to happen. I keep walking, trying to pretend like I’m not painfully aware of what it means that we’re not being drawn together, but after just a few steps into the kitchen, I feel myself being pulled backward. It’s like a cord tugging me back underneath the mistletoe, and for some reason, I panic. Because what if I turn around, and it isn’t Niall standing there.

There are other kids about our age here, so it’s a possibility. A possibility that I don’t want to even consider. Taking a deep breath, I turn around, bracing myself for the inevitable heartbreak.

The pull grows stronger as he steps closer to me, and we meet under the mistletoe.

“Niall,” I breathe. Then, he’s kissing me like his life depends on it.

He slips slide perfectly against mine, and it feels so right.

I’m vaguely aware of the presence of all the other people in the house. Any one of them could see us, but I find that I don’t care because it’s Niall. Niall is in love with me, something I never thought possible, and I don’t care who knows about it.

I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer to me, wishing that I never had to let go of him. But eventually we have to break for air.

We pull away, and before I can say anything - ask him what this means for us - I see Baz standing a couple of feet away from us, just outside of the mistletoe’s radius, and whether that was intentional or he and Simon, who is right behind him, just happened to stop there when they saw us, I’m not sure.

“Hi,” I say awkwardly as Niall and I pull apart.

I don’t look at him and turn towards Simon instead, who is standing there, looking a little overwhelmed, his gaze shifting around the house as he takes it all in.

I’ve gotten to know Simon quite a bit over the past year, and I know that he doesn’t like being around so many people that he doesn’t know. It makes him nervous, especially when it’s a bunch of Mages, like they all expect something from him or blame him for the Mage’s death.

I watch as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, turning his gaze to the ground. I start to move towards him to lead him away from the crowd of people, but Niall beats me to it, not even sparing me a second glance.

I know that it’s stupid to be hurt by that because it was a true love mistletoe of all things, but it’s still hard to believe. Besides, one kiss doesn’t change anything.

Niall starts up a conversation with Simon as they move towards the hall, a little out of the way, and some of the tension leaves Simon’s shoulders, so I turn to face Baz, knowing that something is coming.

“I saw that kiss,” he says. “How long have you two been together?”

“We—. We’re not. It was just a kiss.”

He quirks a familiar brow at me. “That wasn’t just a kiss. Even if that mistletoe doesn’t only bring together two people who truly love each other, that kiss looked real.

I feel my face flush. “I don’t know if he feels that way about me.”

“It’s true love mistletoe. Of course, he has feelings for you.”

“Does that mean you’ll stand under it with Simon?” I ask, trying to take some of the attention away from me. “To see if what you have is true love?”

He shakes his head, and before I can ask why not, he says, “It doesn’t matter if a strand of mistletoe thinks that we’re meant to be. We love each other, and I don’t need that to tell me it’s true.”

“That, or you’re still afraid that it isn’t real. Which is stupid because Simon is in love with you, and I’m sure that’s the only reason he’s put up with you for an entire year.”

“Shut up,” Baz says, shoving me lightly. “Go talk to Niall. It appears that you need to.”

“What if he doesn’t want to be with me?”

“He’d be stupid not to.”

I chew my lip for a moment as we turn to look at where Niall and Simon are talking. Finally, I nod, and we move to join them.

“Hey, Simon.”

“Hello, Dev.”

“If you want something to eat, there is food in the kitchen. Baz’ll show you,” I say, giving Baz a meaningful look and all but shoving the two of them towards the mistletoe.

I don’t stay to watch what happens, instead turning to Niall and saying, “We should talk.”

Looking a little concerned, he nods before following me back up to my room.

“You never said anything,” is the first thing Niall says once the door has been shut behind us.

“Me? What about you? You could have said something.”

“Alright, we’re both at fault here. We both should have said something.”

“I didn’t think that you would feel the same way about me,” I admit.

“Of course, I do. I’ve been in love with you for years.”

I gasp quietly, looking at him with a look of shock as something pleasant washes through me, washing away all of my worries about this. Then, I’m moving towards him and closing the distance between us. Grabbing the front of his shirt, I pull him to me and kiss him soundly.

After a moment, I pull away long enough to say that I love him, too, and then, I kiss him again, tilting my head to deepen it and swallowing the quiet moan he lets out.

Too soon, there’s a knock at my bedroom door, and reluctantly, I pull away from Niall, hating the fact that there are other people here even more now.

“Come in,” I call, knowing that it’s most likely Simon and Baz.

When they enter my room, Baz is wearing a stupid grin, and I know what happened in the kitchen without having to ask. I reach out to hold Niall’s hand, lacing our fingers together, and smile to myself, knowing that even if it’s just for this moment, the four of us are happy and full of hope. Nothing stands between us and true love.

#deniall #snowbaz #fanfiction #dev x niall #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #rainbow rowell #red writing hood #my writing #true love mistletoe

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captain-aralias · 3 years

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@super-duper-twelve you asked for these: 15, 16, 27 and 30 - if you haven’t answered them :)

thank you :D work was hard, and this is a nice brainless activity to do while i think about how i should eat something and maybe write.

15. was there a point where you wanted to give up on a work but didn’t?

two examples that i dont know if they quite meet the brief, because i did give up on them.

Indecent Suggestion (Blake/Avon) - they get hypnotised into acting on their sexual desire for each other. brilliant prompt! i wrote about half of it, and then stopped for 3 years. i liked it so much though, and i’d invested time and thought into it, that eventually i did pick it back up again.

the same is true of...

The Sound of Silence (SnowBaz) - i wrote the first section for baz immediately after finishing the Mage’s Heir, and then wrote Keep Calm and Sex & Blood instead. didn’t have any other carry on ideas after that, though, and thought - well, i might as well go back to Sound of SIlence. i did also really really think about not finishing it even after i’d re-started, as it was so hard going writing baz’s half. as soon as i posted that first chapter, though, and switched to Simon POV, it all came together. i wrote that first half over months, the second half... a week.

16. what’s a comment/piece of feedback you received that really made your day?

this is always a kind of awkward question to answer - because i dont want people to feel like their feedback isn’t appreciated if i don’t call it out, becuase i LOVE ALL COMMENTS and feedback. i often say that you dont need to write comments, and its true, but i love it when people feel they can.

i’ll just say in general terms - there are people who i send my writing to (you are one of them!) while i’m doing it and people who beta me, and that’s super appreciated because that’s the time when i’m most alone and craving attention er, input. just knowing people are interested enough in what’s happening helps me keep going.

and that i love comments. they always make my day. well, i mean - they sort of ruin it too, in a way, because i usually post towards the end of the evening and then constantly check my phone during the night to make sure people aren’t leaving more comments. i pretty much always have a sleepness night after posting a fic, but not because i’m nervous - because i’m just rabidly interested in what people think. 🤣

27. most self-indulgent fic you wrote

oh man, i dont know. another question where the answer could be ‘all of them’. maybe something like Goodbye, Norma Jean (very NSFW), which is for someone else, obviously, and to the prompt, but is basically me being willing to write exactly the same thing as i’ve already written several times before AND those other things were super self-indulgent. Sex and Blood is now probably the most popular thing i will ever write (unless i join an actually large fandom, ever) but at the time it felt like - lol, about 3 people want vampire pon farr, but by god i will write it.

most things i wrote for b7 were pretty self-indulgent because you had to write basically for yourself and the other three people in teh fandom because that’s who was there! something like Portions of the Soul of Man - my first real blake/avon - fic felt super self-indulgent because it didn’t feel like there were any other blake/avon shippers at that point. and it’s based on one of the audio dramas, rather than the episode, narrowing the pool further. there are more comments on it on LJ where i originally posted, so it’s not just the two comments on AO3, but... i wanted to write it. that audio is SO shippy <3

30. a fic your younger self would get excited over

i did answer answer this :) it’s a nice question, though! answer here, but - spoilers - i said ‘keep calm’.

asks from this list of accomplishment asks.

#my content

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