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#I’m sick of myself
charliethinks · 10 months
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//tw: mention self harm and suicidal thoughts
i can’t help but think that i made my friends feel like this. like complete shit. they told me they hate themselves.
they started to feel more sad and they joke about how bad their mental health has gotten. maybe i’m the problem. i’m the one who always told them about my suicidal behavior and self harm. I AM the one who begged them to leave me alone so i can hurt myself. I AM the one who is broken.
it’s my fault. again. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.
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tulipsxbooks · 2 years
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I cannot bear the weight of my own reflection anymore. It daunts me in my most peculiar dreams and I drag it through the floors like a corpse. I think I have grown to hate who I am.
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courtingchaos · 10 months
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.
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blvd-sys · 2 years
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everything going down hill so fucking quick <<<<<<<
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myname-isnia · 6 months
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Finished my homework, wanted to write a bit before bedtime but for some reason got so fucking upset even before opening the google doc that I spent an hour crying instead. Like always. Why am I like this
#more self hatred spirals. yay#I’m sick of myself#I haven’t written a sentence in weeks#I’ve never finished a multichapter fic in my life#even if it’s just a two shot#all I’m capable of doing is crying and whining and complaining all the fucking time#and for what?#if I cried but got things done it would be one thing#meanwhile I’m just useless#and even if I do get things done. what’s the point#no one will see it anyway#anything I draw. anything I write will be seen by like three people#and if no one sees it. and I despise it. what is the point of even making anything?#there’s no impact to it. no reason for it to exist. it’s a desperate scream of a traumatised teenager begging to be noticed#it’s exhausting to be yelling into the void for so long#I’m tired#I don’t even need a break. how can I when I don’t do anything anyway#I just… need to shut the fuck up#either sit down to write and stop whining like a little bitch or delete everything you’ve ever created and quit complaining#it’s all worthless anyway#and it’s way past my bedtime now too#which means I’ll be exhausted in the morning#which means yet another week of being too sleep deprived to function#I don’t want to exist anymore#not as in die but as in. destroy every trace of myself out there#pretend like it never existed. delete my art blog and ao3 and Procreate and google docs. burn my mostly empty sketchbooks. give stylus away#hit myself every time my mind strays to anything remotely related to art or writing or fandom or ocs#so that eventually I’ll stop#then pretend to be a normal person. finish school. study something I’ll never be passionate about for years. get a job I hate#anything would be more bearable than this worthless endeavour a stupid 11 year old convinced herself she’ll eventually get good at
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cinnarollslut · 1 year
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Where’s my clown certification I think I deserve it at this point
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brazilnt · 1 year
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can guardiola text me everyday and tell me to get my fat ass in the gym
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isoei · 1 year
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“That’s just life”
Well then life has sucked for ten straight years and this bullshit is never going to go away
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wigglebox · 3 months
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Get well soon! 💙💚🍜
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screampied · 2 months
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GOOD MORNING TUMBLR
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hope u guys have a good day 2day 😋
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gayvampyr · 2 years
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“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.
#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and#‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but#often do coalign#it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma#which is very common for queer folks#it’s really not an ace-only thing#like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those#feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience#instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours#im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful#my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick#of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan#and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re#‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system#the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’#and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/#misogynistic/etc and not even#acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat#it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time#text post#like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men#for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird#not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important#anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not
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twiddletaffy · 10 months
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🎵 Blue moon
You saw me standin' alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own 🎵
Night out at the Ultra-Luxe. The waiters DO bite. Let’s ignore that for now.
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lockwoodsean-archive · 8 months
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JOE KEERY and NATALIA DYER STRANGER THINGS 2 2x01 “Chapter One: MADMAX”
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rixckestmorty · 3 months
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a lot on my mind
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catastrxblues · 3 months
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“we accept the love we think we deserve” drives me insane, drags my sanity to the moon, through hell, and to saturn and back, and alters everything inside me on a molecular level. i just can’t stop thinking about it
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shit-sorry-fuck-mybad · 11 months
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No cause Iceman Kazansky does run his fingers through little Bradley’s hair for hours to help him fall asleep after he had nightmares, and he does sing beautiful boy under his breath and reflects on the fact that he is a father to a child that has no legal connection to him and could easily disappear from his life without giving him the chance to do anything about it, and he does think about the amount of joy that Mav brought into his life, and he does look down at his sleeping son and decides that he would do anything for him, and he does do all of this again when Bradley comes back, when he stays at their place after The Mission and wakes up with horrible nightmares like he did when he was a little kid, he does it all over again and he wouldn’t have it any other way
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