#I’m losing my mind on tumblr currently and enjoying it thoroughly

[krugecrow]

PSA: Today will now be known as Moustache Day to commemorate the fandom pitching into insanity and discourse over @saintprivateer ‘s art of Nikolai with a neat little moustache :{)

4/12/20 (3/12/20 for Americans)

#I’m losing my mind on tumblr currently and enjoying it thoroughly #stachecourse #🥸🥸 #nikolai lanstov #textpost

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Kitten

No judgement! It’s not that bad of a kink anyways? I’ve written for...many things since starting tumblr blogs, so you’re fine. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the scenario, it’s the best I could come up with, so feel free to come scream at me if you like it!

Hope you enjoy it!

🥃 AO3 🥃 || ✉️My Askbox✉️ || 💬Discord💬

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

.

 Hitoshi raised an eyebrow silently as he stepped into the house that he shared with you, your delectably sweet scent invading his senses almost immediately; hitting him like a sledgehammer and alerting him to the fact that your heat had started early.

 He should have expected it in all honesty, even though he had taken an early day so that he could come home to be there for you when it started; but no, his adorable little Omega simply had to go into an early heat.

 “Kitten, I’m home” Hitoshi called out to you, scanning the house for your presence as he shut the front door, looking for any sign at all of his needy girlfriend; or even her nest. Either one would be fine, so long as he knew where you were.

 Hitoshi made his way through the house slowly, following after your scent as best he could since it was coming from everywhere; coming to a stop when he reached the doorway to your shared bedroom. He wasn’t surprised to find the literal mountain of blankets and pillows on the bed, nor was he even mildly shocked to see more than a few of his favourite clothes stuffed into your nest; anything with his scent, you seemed to have grabbed and he would be lying if he ever said that the mere sight of it didn’t have his cock throbbing in anticipation of what was soon to come. An Omega in heat; sometimes he forgot how lucky he truly was.

 .

 “Kitten, wake up.”

 .

 You whined out softly in protest at the familiar voice demanding you to be awake, instead further burying your face into the soft pillows that made up a majority of your nest; it had taken you a horrific amount of time just to fall asleep, you didn’t appreciate being dragged away from that blissful slumber.

 Especially with the dreams that you had been thoroughly enjoying; leave it to your heat to induce some of the best wet dreams that you had ever had.

 “I won’t say it again Kitten.” You groaned at the deep rumble that sounded out from behind you, a yelp spilling free from your lips when something slapped against your arse unforgivingly; forcing you into a painfully awake state, something you wouldn’t be able to get out of again without the help of your Alpha soothing your heat.

 “There…was that so hard, beautiful?” Hitoshi chuckled faintly as you made your way out of your nest, shooting him an unhappy glare while one of your hands rubbed at the still-stinging flesh of your butt; as much as you loved it when he decided to spank you, it wasn’t something you enjoyed as a wake-up call.

 “Okay, I’m sorry. Maybe it was a little hard…but I was under the impression that you liked it that way” He smiled faintly as he moved to pin you down on the bed on your stomach, making sure that you were somewhat in your nest while grinding his painful erection up against you firmly; making you gasp out in a pleasant kind of surprise. You could almost forgive him for the rude awakening at this point.

 “I…I do like it” You mumbled out softly, mewling when Hitoshi started to rut up against your dripping folds firmly, your slick spreading over the front of his pants within seconds; coating what you hoped wasn’t his hero outfit in a thick amount of your juices. If he had been silly enough to wear his pro-hero costume home, then he was going to smell like an Omega in heat for a long time to come; not the best idea when he was a pro-hero that fought against a surprising number of Alpha villains.

 “Do you also like the feel of my dick up against you? Because it certainly smells like you do Kitten…feels like it too. You’re nice and wet, ready for daddy’s cock. Aren’t you?” Hitoshi questioned as he bit along the sensitive skin of your neck, biting over your bonding mark while his hands moved along your arms slowly; pinning them down to the bed so that you couldn’t move until he wanted you to.

 “If I say yes…will you knot me?” You bit your lip as you spoke softly, turning your head as best you could to look back at the Alpha you called your own; Hitoshi didn’t seem to be teasing you like normal, he was being far more direct and it made you wonder if his rut was due soon. Either that, or your heat had induced it early, which had happened on previous occasions; so, it wasn’t an impossible theory.

 “Oh? You don’t sound very interested Kitten, maybe you don’t deserve my knot” He smiled devilishly as he spoke quietly, releasing his hold on you so that he could move away to strip himself of his civilian clothes; annoyed at how they clung to him, it was almost suffocating.

 You didn’t dare move though, well aware that he wanted you to remain as you were; the perfect position for you to be in and a favourite of his, it allowed him to lose himself to his instincts better than any other position. A fact that you weren’t going to complain about.

 “But daddy…” You trailed off, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment when Hitoshi looked at you with a carnal hunger in his eyes; a sign that his rut was most definitely in effect and that you had whined out the perfect phrase to catch his attention. Even if it was by accident.

 “Daddy, please? I’m so empty right now…I need a knot, I need your knot daddy, please? Please knot me?” You whimpered out your demand softly, wiggling your hips invitingly for the hungry Alpha as he made his way back onto the bed, settling himself behind you with the tip of his aching cock rubbing up against your folds.

 “You need a knot? My knot? Are you sure about that kitten?” He narrowed his eyes as he spoke, leaning over you to bite at the scent gland behind your ear, carefully scenting you as his Omega while grinding his erection up against you roughly; pulling soft, needy gasps from your lips. His favourite sound.

 “Because, to me, it sounds like you just want something to fill you…and that could be anyone’s knot. Isn’t that right Kitten?” He growled out the question quietly, his hands moving to your own and holding them against the mattress firmly; refusing to allow you the opportunity to move from your current position.

 “No! No daddy, that isn’t…your knot is the only one that I need!” You whined out loudly, biting your lip as you tried your best not to moan from his rough treatment; you knew that it would only anger him more if you moaned now. You needed to make sure that he was satisfied that his knot was the only one that could help you with the heat that was bothering you currently.

 “Really? Alright…but you better not be lying to me Kitten” He warned you with a low growl, biting down on your scent gland firmly while thrusting his hips forwards and burying himself deep inside of your more than welcoming body; his low groan making you mewl out in a mix of pleasure and pride, knowing that you were the reason he was groaning.

 “Really, I promise. Your knot is the only one that makes me feel this good daddy” You moaned out softly, burying your face into the mattress below while his hips began to move at a harsh pace; each thrust pushing his thick knot up against your folds teasingly. Apparently, he didn’t want to fill you up just yet, not until the very end; usually he would fuck you knot and all until he could no longer remove it from your body, but today seemed to be different.

 “I guess you’ve earnt this then Kitten” Hitoshi paused, growling out in pleasure as he continued to fuck you senseless, his grip on your hands tightening whenever your walls clenched down around his throbbing cock.

 You couldn’t believe how good it felt to have him fuck you like this, even if it had been a while since the last time you two got the chance to be so intimate with one another. Work had taken up a majority of his time, but even so, it felt different than usual; more satisfying.

 “Such a good Omega…look at how well you’re taking my cock” You mewled at his soft praise, moaning out his name and grinding your hips back against his own; though your moans soon transformed into wordless whimpers and whines, your mind losing its ability to form solid sentences, or even words due to the pleasure that was currently overwhelming you.

 .

 “That’s it, take daddy’s cock. Just like that Kitten…it’s like you were made for my dick!”

 .

 You whimpered out into the mattress with each savage thrust of Hitoshi’s hips, unable to properly describe the way he filled you up so perfectly; instead, only able to make broken sounds that would spur on his movements. You had been so unlucky today with your heat starting the moment Hitoshi had left for work, it had meant you spent the whole day trying to bear with the heat alone; but it was also because of that, that having him fuck you felt so good.

 Easily satisfying all of the cravings that had built up during the day, even the ones that had formed in your dreams.

 “You feel that Kitten?” Hitoshi’s voice cut through your thoughts as he pushed deeper inside of you, grinding up against you from behind and allowing you to feel the way his knot had begun to swell up; signalling his quickly approaching release and leaving you to whimper out at his cruel actions, teasing you with such a thick, pulsing knot.

 “That’s what you’re doing to me. I’ve barely been home ten minutes and I’m already about to knot you for the first time today, I’m aching for you Kitten and I hope you can keep up with me” He growled out in pleasure, mere moments before burying his knot into you, pushing it as deep as he possibly could; filling you with his hot, thick seed.

 The overwhelming sense of being full pushed you over the edge in an instant, ripping his name from your lips in the form of a needy scream while your own orgasm rocked through your body, making your toes curl as you trembled beneath him from the intensity of it.

 “Fuck…you took it so well Kitten, you took my knot like a good little Omega. Good girl.”

#hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi x reader #shinsou x reader #bnha x reader #reader x hitoshi #reader x shinsou #omegaverse #alpha!hitoshi #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #scenario #smut #requests #cheeky kitsune

[stilestilikeslydia]

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy: Part Two

so I’m almost never on tumblr anymore, but in case any of you remember my old fics, I wanted to come back to let you know that I FINALLY finished the second part to this fic that I wrote for the Stydia Big Bang almost four years ago haha

there’s also some excellent art for it that @wellsjahasghost and @sydrianssage made for it way back in 2017 that you can check out here and here if you would like :)

enjoy!

(Rated M)

“I can't believe I've been a ghost for ten years, and nobody thought to tell me about the new Star Wars trilogy until today. ”

“Stiles, nobody even knew you existed until last month.”

Kira slapped Malia’s knee—lightly, because Kira was still incapable of giving an actual reprimand. “Well, we’ve told you about it now,” she said, offering him her brightest smile. “What did you think?”

“I think… I miss my blissful ignorance from eight hours ago, when I didn’t know that George Lucas greenlit this absolute garbage fire,” Stiles whined. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, The Force Awakens started out with a lot of potential, and the cast is full of extremely hot and talented people, but what the fuck?! My only regret is that my death tree wasn’t transformed into a desk in the writers’ room for these movies, or I could have haunted those dipshits until they figured out how to write a plot that actually made sense.”

“Your only regret, huh?” Lydia asked, keeping her tone dry and incredulous.

“No, you're right,” Stiles said, his expression instantly transforming into the biggest shit-eating grin Lydia had seen since before he'd died. “I also regret not inventing ectoplasmic grocery stores before my death. It’s unfair that I cook for all of you and don't get to eat any of it.”

“Not our fault you actually enjoy cooking,” Malia pointed out. “And depleting Lydia's bank account.”

“I am going to strangle you,” Lydia said. “Werecoyote strength or not.”

“But then who’s going to sit next to you in bars and make fun of everybody we see?”

“Yeah, you need her for that,” Kira added. “I’m terrible at judging people, and so is Scott.”

Scott toasted her with a grin, looking relaxed and comfortable against the armrest of the oversized couch he was currently sharing with a ghost and a realtor. Stiles took one look at him and snorted.

“Scott’s a terrible judge of many things,” he agreed. “People… the distance between a car bumper and the curb… movies…”

“Movies?”

“Yes, Scott!” Stiles crowed, now fully recovered from his initial disappointment. “This trilogy may have been a mess, but in order to watch it, you must have seen the other two trilogies too, and that means you have to know how great they are! Admit it, Star Wars is amazing, you were wrong, and I was right! Not watching it with me earlier was the biggest mistake of your life!”

“Maybe not the biggest,” Scott said, the grin on his face slipping a little. Lydia’s fingers tightened around the stem of her wine glass. “Anyway, I already knew the Star Wars movies were good. I watched them junior year.”

“Junior year?! ” Stiles squawked, so surprised that he started sinking into the couch. “And you never told me?! What the hell, man, all those times you pretended not to get my references and you—”

“Of college,” Scott clarified, and the room went silent.

Lydia set her wine glass down on the coffee table with trembling fingers. The tapping of glass on wood sounded like a gunshot, a bullet to the lungs. There was a crescent moon outside. For one heart-shattering moment, Lydia swore she could smell wolfsbane.

“I’m going to go get a glass of water,” she said, voice too harsh to her own ears, bouncing off the walls and clanging in her skull. Another bullet to the lungs.

The next thing she became aware of was the press of a cabinet knob against her back, the solidity of a hardwood floor underneath her body. She was leaning against the kitchen island, eyes level with the cabinet that Stiles had poked open over and over again to entertain Brooke all those weeks ago. Tonight, though, when she opened it herself, there was nothing inside.

Lydia clung to the knob anyway and tried not to cry.

It wasn’t Stiles who came to check on her after a few minutes, or Scott, or even Kira. Instead, Malia was the one who tugged the cabinet door out of Lydia’s hand and dropped to the floor, flinging her legs out to one side and meeting Lydia’s eyes without flinching.

“Kira started talking about BB-8 again,” she said. “Scott looked like he wanted to change the subject.”

Lydia pressed her lips together, looked away, and settled her hands on her knees with careful precision. “That was nice of her. I’m sure he did.”

“He told me, you know,” Malia continued without missing a beat. “About what you told him. About Stiles wanting you to sell the house.”

Lydia’s fingers clenched around the hem of her dress. “Yes.”

Malia narrowed her eyes. “Are you going to?”

“I have to,” Lydia said, “or Yvenne will just find another realtor.”

“Okay, maybe,” Malia said. “But who are you going to sell it to ?”

Lydia froze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on,” she said. “I know you’ve been considering it. You’ve been eyeing the curtains in the living room like you can’t wait to change them all night.”

“Maybe I just can’t believe Yvenne expects me to find a buyer for this house when it’s been decorated so poorly.”

Malia rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m more observant than you think, and I’m not Scott or Stiles. I’m not going to try and stop you.”

Slowly, precisely, Lydia tilted her head and met Malia’s piercing gaze. “You know what you’re saying, right? Scott and Stiles would try to stop me.”

“Yeah,” Malia said. “And that matters, because Lydia Martin always does what people tell her to do. And I had a normal childhood. And math was my favorite subject in high school.”

After a long moment, Lydia stood. Malia mimicked the movement. “I just think we’ve already lost enough people,” Lydia admitted. “I don’t want to lose him twice.”

“Like I said. I’m not going to try and stop you.”

For a while, Lydia told herself that she hadn’t made up her mind. She let Stiles cook her every meal and listened to him relive memories from high school and the two years of college he’d gotten to enjoy, doing his best to help her appreciate the times they’d shared together without losing herself in them. She fell asleep on the couch with him while they watched movies together and pretended that she didn’t know he’d been playing with her hair when she woke up. She allowed him to teach her how to cook and change the oil in her car, life skills that she’d always expected him to handle in their relationship, life skills he wanted her to master before he moved onto wherever he expected to go once he stopped being a ghost, but—

But then, on a Thursday afternoon a week before Yvenne’s deadline, Lydia’s phone rang.

They were in the middle of making stir fry, but Stiles nudged her with the spatula he was using—one loophole he’d found for their inability to make physical contact—and told her to answer it “just in case.” “It could be important, Lyds.”

That was precisely why she didn’t want to answer it, but with a long-suffering sigh and a pointed glare, Lydia wiped her hands off on a paper towel and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hello, Lydia Martin? This is Shea O’Malley.”

Predictably and irksomely, Lydia’s heart rate increased. “What can I do for you, Shea?” she asked, smoothing on her realtor’s smile even though Shea couldn’t see. Between the way Stiles’s eyebrows were raised and the way his head was tilted so he could hear Shea’s half of the conversation, Lydia needed the extra armor.

“Well, Ben and Piper and I have been shopping around the neighborhoods near that lovely red house you showed us, but we simply haven’t found a place that compares. After a long discussion, Ben and I have decided that there’s no use searching any longer. We would like to place an offer on that red house.”

Lydia’s head was all white noise and bloodstains and terror. She tried to picture saying goodbye to Stiles and watching him dissolve into whatever dimension the rest of their dead loved ones had ended up in. She tried to imagine handing the keys over to the O’Malleys and leaving the red house for good. She tried to convince herself that it was possible for her to move on.

But like the O’Malleys, Lydia discovered that it was no use.

Once upon a time, it might have been possible for her to move on. But now Lydia’s heart was inextricably entwined with this red house.

The only difference was that Lydia had the ability to hold onto it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, the white noise fading to a treacherous whisper. (So, basically nothing. Treacherous whispers were old friends in Lydia’s mind.) “You’re too late. The red house has already been sold.”

Stiles froze. Lydia froze, judging his reaction. Over the phone line, Lydia heard Shea’s breath catch, and then she sighed. “Are you certain there’s no chance of the buyer changing their mind? I mean, if we could place a counteroffer—”

“I’m afraid that there’s no amount of money you could offer that this particular buyer wouldn’t match,” Lydia said with as much gentleness as she could muster. The O’Malleys really were a nice family. “They’re quite dedicated, have a substantial savings account, and are at least as attached to the house as you are.”

Shea’s second sigh was only slightly less audible than the first. “Well, that’s it, then,” she said tiredly. “Thank you for all of your help, Lydia. We all thoroughly enjoyed meeting you the other day.”

“If you still haven’t found a different house in the next few weeks, let me know and I’ll help you keep looking. Free of charge,” Lydia blurted, because she was going to keep the house and Stiles and therefore she could afford to offer a little kindness to the family whose dream home she had just poached.

“Why, that’s very kind of you,” Shea said, oblivious to Lydia’s silent betrayal. “We may just take you up on that offer. Thank you again.”

And after the exchange of a few more pleasantries, she hung up.

“What the fuck?” Stiles said into the resulting silence. “A buyer made an offer on this house, and you didn’t tell me about it?”

Lydia set her phone on the counter. “You don’t really want me to leave.”

Stiles dropped his spatula. “What?”

“Come on, Stiles,” Lydia said. “Who do you think you’re talking to? If you really wanted me to move on, you never would have opened your mouth. I would have walked into this house on that first day, sold it, and walked right back out without ever knowing that you were here.”

“I—” Stiles spluttered. “I was surprised, and I just—”

“Maybe,” Lydia replied. “But that could have been it. I told you not to make it difficult for me to sell this house, and instead you scared off buyer after buyer until I figured out who you were. You say you want me to move on, but you’re here, Stiles. You’re standing right in front of me, and I’m never going to move on when I could have this instead!”

“What do you want me to say?” Stiles demanded. “Do you want an apology? Because I know you deserve one. I—I—I’m sorry for talking to you, I’m sorry for cooking you dinner, I’m sorry for being here! I didn’t mean to make this harder for you, and I’m sorry that I did! Is that what you wanted to hear?”

“NO!”

It wasn’t a banshee scream, but it left Lydia hoarse and aching all the same.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” she whispered. “I just want you to want me to stay.”

“Well, I am sorry, Lyds. And I can’t give that to you.”

“Stiles—”

“Pick up the phone, Lydia. Call the O’Malleys. Tell them the buyer changed their mind.”

Lydia took a deep breath and looked at the man who was the love of both her life and whatever came after that. “No.”

“Lydia.”

“No, Stiles! I’m not going to do that! These last few weeks have been the happiest weeks of the past ten years. You can’t honestly stand there and expect me to give that up.”

“That’s the thing, though,” he said. “I’m not actually standing here.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.”

“But it should.” Stiles reached out, brushed his fingers through a loose strand of her hair, and then stepped away. “I might not be able to stop you from buying this house, but that doesn’t mean I have to give you a reason to live here.”

There was a whoosh, as if he was opening up that interdimensional doorway again, and then he disappeared.

On the stove, the stir fry began to burn.

(read the rest on ao3)

#stydia #stydia fics #teen wolf #teen wolf fic #stydia fanfiction #stydia fic #tw #martinski #i wrote this #the taco fic #will anyone read this after all this time? that is the question lol #are any of you still on tumblr? that is also the question

[kuroopaisen]

Ngl I cry reading ur answer... As someone who writes for fanfiction too, sometimes the pressure is too much and at the point I can't even write anymore because it stressed me out, not makes me feel good... So to be reminded that there are no specific rules about what is good fic or such, it makes me cry (": Thank you so much for answering thoroughly... You are such a nice person, I admire you a fuckton load... Hope you have a great day, dear...

ohhhh darling :( sometimes writing fanfic can very much feel like pressure, but it’s very important to re-contextualise yourself, if that makes sense? like logging off and doing other hobbies (or working on your original work) reminds you that it’s okay. fandom waxes and wanes, engagement will also be very fluid and hard to predict, and sometimes i feel like everything moves so quickly that it’s hard to keep up. 

honestly, i do think that past a certain point, writing is subjective? of course there’s standards something has to meet to be readable, but there’s a ton of stuff i’ve read that while i personally didn’t find much enjoyment in, i could be like “eh, i can see why other people would enjoy this.” the first one that comes to mind is the book this is how you lose the time war. like i can say that it’s good writing, but it’s just not my thing. 

ultimately i think it’s important to hold yourself to your own standards and work out what you like. it’s good to want to put out quality work, but i think it’s also okay to just,,, write because you enjoy it. and honestly, the more you write the better you’ll get. but if you’re here just to enjoy yourself, you’re allowed to. you’re allowed to take up space. 

and this might be hypocritical of me to say, but try to find the merit in your own work! try to identify things you’re proud of, that can make you pull back and go “you know what, i’m proud of this.” 

at the end of the day, i think it’s just important to hold on to some kind of perspective, you know? like remembering that i’m just one person on x reader tumblr. i don’t like using this phrase because it sounds dimissive, but it’s really not that deep, you know? i try to remind myself of that whenever i feel like shit because of something tumblr-related. that helps keep me grounded and it’s always part of my crawl out of a slump. 

FDSJHDFJ I AM JUST A FERAL GREMLIN I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR ADMIRATION,,, but i hope that you too have a great day :( i am currently procrastinating a history essay that’s due tomorrow but oh well fkljdslj

#💕 💕 💕 #anon #rowan rambles #rowan replies

[teamhook]

A Chapter a Day... Savage Heart CS AU

Hello my lovelies! First, sorry about the double post yesterday. Had some issues with Tumblr. Sorry, I’m running late today.

Yes, a chapter a day.

This story will be finished by the end of the month. :)

A love story between a pirate and his savior. An innocent, beautiful, selfless woman meets a man with no manners, no formal education and not even a last name. Will Emma fall in love with Killian once she discovers that beneath his tough exterior lies a heart-wild, but a heart of gold? This is a Captain Swan AU

Beta-ed by the wonderful @ilovemesomekillianjones​

|AO3| |FFN| previous chapter

|AO3| |FFN| current chapter

Chapter 7: First Meetings and Secret Meetings

Milah wakes early and gets dressed before August wakes and has a chance to question her. She is so excited to see Killian. She smiles to herself and doesn't realize she is not alone until it is too late.

"Where are you heading so early cousin?" Emma asks.

Milah turns to look at her cousin and answers with a taunting comment, "Oh Emma, I didn't realize you were still here. I assumed that you had already returned to the safety of the convent." Milah continues, "I thought you were only checking in on Aunt Snow and would have left as soon as possible. I just assumed that spending too much time here would be somewhat uncomfortable for you. I'm only looking out for your wellbeing."

"I'm doing just great, you don't have to worry about me. I'm just not used to seeing you awake so early. You, dear cousin, have never been an early riser." Emma smiles as she answers and tilts her head to the side as she observes Milah. She can tell she is nervous. Why is she so nervous?

"I was just heading out; I wanted to go check on the house to make sure everything is running smoothly since Aunt Snow is currently staying here." Milah tries to sound convincing and fails miserably even to her own ears.

Emma smiles sweetly. "I see. To answer one of your questions, you are correct. That was the original plan, a quick visit. Unfortunately, your mother-in-law Cora insisted I stayed longer to help lighten my mother's spirits because she is worried about her, and how can I refuse such an invitation?" Emma takes a breath and adds, "I apologize, dear cousin if that is not an acceptable situation for you. I don't know why you would think I would feel uncomfortable?"

"I thought you wouldn't want to be here seeing as you were trained by my mother-in-law to be the perfect wife for her son. Isn't it extremely hot wearing that awful nun's habit? I suppose you have to get used to it. I better go, I don't want to be gone that long. Could you please let August know? I did not want to wake him, he looked so peaceful in his sleep."

Emma nods and waits for Milah to leave the room, then rises quickly to follow Milah. She doesn't want to lose her. Soon they reach the beach and what appears to be a little cabin. Emma wonders what business her cousin has at this place.

She had made sure to keep a good distance while she followed Milah. She looks around to make sure no one had noticed her as she approaches the slightly open window and strains her ears to listen to the conversation inside.

Milah walks into Killian's cabin as if she owns the place. Killian just stares at her, she looks beautiful. He had sent Smee away earlier to do some errands and arrange a meeting with Archie. He also wanted to ensure some privacy if Milah was to make an appearance.

"Killian I have missed you so much; I truly thought I would never see you again..." Milah begins.

"Oh love; I can see how broken-hearted you were about my absence. To prove your devotion the first thing you do is marry the bloke with the biggest wallet that offers to make you his wife?" Killian yells at her. "You promised yourself in marriage to me and you broke your promise and for that, you will pay, I will tell your husband how many times I had you in my bed and how each time you begged for more."

Milah looks at him with wide eyes trying to think of a way to calm him.

"I married him to save my family Killian, I had already lost all hope of happiness with you and that is the only reason I accepted the proposal. You have to know what marrying into his family could mean to anyone. The advantages it offers. So when my frigid cousin lost the opportunity and I was offered the chance I had to take it." Milah hates the way he is looking at her.

Killian had always looked at her with such love and admiration. She was used to being second choice. She knew her aunt and uncle loved her, but Emma would always come first. Killian was hers alone and she didn't have to share him.

"How exactly did the opportunity present itself? And before you answer, I know how that mind of yours works and what it holds value to. Make sure you are telling the truth."

"I bumped into August during my stay in Port Royal before I met you and he took a liking to me right away. I knew who he was and to be honest I didn't care. I hold no true loyalty to my cousin. I thought if he chose me I would be getting the life I deserve, and at the same time, I could take something my cousin loved. It would have been a double win for me. If you knew my cousin you would understand. The poor thing wouldn't know what to do to captivate and maintain any man's attention even if her life depended on it. To be honest, I didn't have to do much. I just wanted something that was meant to be hers because she has had it all. I had no idea I had been successful until after you left for your deal."

"Oh, lass do not even try to lie. I know you well enough to know you must have worked extra hard to charm him into picking you. You, my dear, do not like to leave anything to chance. After all, you came looking for me."

Emma stands dumbfounded listening to the conversation that starts to fade as her worst fears are confirmed. She had noticed that some of Milah's comments seemed to show she enjoyed flaunting her marriage in Emma's face. She likes hurting her. Milah had set out to get August's attention. Not only that but she seems to have had some sort of dalliance with the man she was meeting secretly.

It hurts so much, she had loved Milah like a sister and now she is finding out how little Milah cared for her in return. The resentment her cousin felt for her was so great. Tears start to fall. Emma refocuses on the conversation inside, sniffling quietly

"Killian we can make this work. For a while, we would need to meet in secret and see each other whenever it is possible and enjoy our time together thoroughly. We can enjoy our time together while my dear husband regales me with jewelry and riches and one day soon, we take it all and escape." Milah approaches him and reaches out to touch him.

Killian ponders her offer. His first thought had been to steal her away, but that is too simple for the offense. Then he'd just wanted to make August pay with his life for taking his love away. But now he wants to humiliate him, he has taken what was Killian's. He wants for the great August Booth to be ridiculed. He smiles at Milah and answers. "I accept your offer, but know this, if you try to double-cross me in any way, I will make you pay dearly. You'd better leave now, I have an important meeting to attend."

"Oh, I thought we might have time for a little reconnecting."

"I'm afraid this meeting is something I cannot postpone," Killian said.

"When will I see you then? You are not going to meet with another woman are you?" Milah asks angrily.

"Jealous, love?" Killian asks with a smirk. "To answer your question, I'm meeting with an old friend. Now go!"

Milah storms out of the small cabin to make her way home.

Emma stays hidden contemplating what to do with this newfound information. Suddenly someone grabs her. She turns to look at the culprit. He towers over her, dark hair and a nicely trimmed beard. He's dressed in all black, but what captivates her are his brilliant blue eyes.

Killian had seen a flash of blonde hair and at first, he'd thought was that it was Tink. He wanted to make sure she had not listened in to his conversation with Milah. He studies the woman in front of him carefully. She is beautiful and wearing a nun's habit. He realizes who she must be... Milah's cousin, Emma. He is about to question her when she beats him to it.

"How is it you know my cousin?"

Killian answers, "Oh lass, I know your cousin," Killian pauses, licks his lips and takes a step closer, invading her space, he leans over as he finishes his answer, "intimately."

Emma takes a step back. "Why would my cousin want anything to do with a dirty, filthy pirate like you?" She stands her ground and waits for an answer.

Killian laughs and responds. "Oh darling, I assure you I bathe quite frequently, but if you would like to ensure my cleanliness, I would gladly oblige." Killian winks at her and smirks. He can tell she is uncomfortable with the conversation.

"How dare you speak to me in that manner? You are disgusting!" Emma says and continues, "How long have you known my cousin?"

"That is not your concern. I am curious, what did you overhear? Even for a lowlife like me, eavesdropping is not good form."

"I don't owe you an explanation, but since I was raised with manners I will, I was simply walking by and saw my cousin leaving your home. I too was curious. If I had heard any part of your conversation, I would not be asking you, would I?"

"Oh darling, you are feisty, not at all like your cousin described you. She truly did not do you justice. I have never seen a more beautiful nun in my life. Even with that dreadful habit you are wearing, you are simply alluring." Killian wants to distract her and continues to rake his eyes over her form.

Emma just looks at him and says firmly, "Stay away from my family. I don't care what you think you shared with my cousin in the past. She is married now, so for once in your life try doing something honorable."

Emma walks past him and does not look back.

Killian watches her walk away. Too bad he's not an honorable man, he is nothing but a selfish pirate.

He needs to tell Milah that her cousin knows about their dalliance and most likely has an idea about the plans they wish to set into motion. He had been surprised by the way Emma talked to him. Milah had described a pushover. He'd assumed she was someone who he could easily intimidate into submission. When she didn't back down during their conversation, he knew he was terribly wrong. They were going to need to be more careful in the future. The good news is that she couldn't really cause trouble if she was hidden away at the convent.

Now all he needs is Archie to reintroduce him to August and he will have direct access to Milah. He knows his reputation could possibly be a problem, but he will use their friendship, albeit brief, as an opening to get close to him and secure the steward position that has been vacant for a while.

@hookedonapirate​ @kmomof4​ @searchingwardrobes​ @seriouslyhooked​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @let-it-raines​ @revanmeetra87​ @snowbellewells​ @hollyethecurious​ @kymbersmith-90​ @branlovestowrite​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @shireness-says​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​  @thisonesatellite​ @thesschesthair​ @winterbythesea​ @stahlop​ @resident-of-storybrooke​  @superchocovian​  @lfh1226-linda​ @artistic-writer​ @thislassishooked​ @shardminds​ @winterbaby89​ @xhookswenchx​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @gingerchangeling​ @laschatzi​ @wellhellotragic​ @xemmaloveskillianx​ @courtorderedcake​ @pirateherokillian​ @optomisticgirl​ @darkcolinodonorgasm​ @sherlockianwhovian​ @andiirivera​ @djlbg​ @nikkiemms​ @jennjenn615​ @scientificapricot​ @officerrogers​​ @imlaxdris71​​ @therealstartraveller776​​

#Captain Swan #cs ff #CS Crew #CS Mafia #teamhook SavageHeart

[battlestar-royco]

Considering my place in the anti community

So, I know that might be an alarming title, but rest assured I don’t see myself deactivating or ceasing discussion of SJ/M’s books any time soon. But a lot of things have led me to the decision to explicitly veer my blog in another direction. I’ve said more than once before that I made this blog around May of 2018 as a joke between me, myself, and I, as a way to vent my disappointments with the T0G and AC0TAR series into this dumb blue void. I kid you not, I literally did not expect anyone to interact with me at all, and aside from mutuals on my main, I’d never been sent an ask in all the (then) six years I had a Tumblr. I didn’t expect to meet and befriend such a passionate, salty, visionary, thoughtful community. A little over a year later, I’m interacting with too many people to keep up with, I find myself being tagged and reblogged by reputable bloggers with way bigger followings from all over Tumblr’s diversity-forward fandom communities, and I even have run-ins with anon hate and stan ridiculousness every so often. The anti community as I know it has been a welcoming home that has taught me so much. That being said, there are a few reasons I want to slightly switch gears. So here goes. This is a long one, so thanks for sticking it out, if you make it to the end.

What will remain and what will change?

More will stay the same than will change. I will still absolutely be answering asks about YA books and SJ/M, and I will be posting about the issues within them and how I think they could have gone better. I will also still be tagging such things as anti. I really enjoy discussing the nitty gritty of characters, worldbuilding, and how all that coincides with the handling of diversity and feminism in the books. This type of discussion is, I think, how I gained most of my following, so I don’t want to turn my back on you. Also, in the near future, I mainly just want my blog to be a place where diverse representation across all identity vectors and forms of media, especially fantasy books, is a focus. I want people to feel they can talk earnestly about their issues with xyz representation and/or discuss diversity struggles they come across with their own writing.

I feel like the anti community stagnates periodically and we devolve into cold wars with stans, picking apart miniscule details of the books, scouring SJ/M’s social media, repeating ourselves, or other similar activities. Going forward I want to reduce the conversations that are founded in pettiness or insulting other Tumblr users or SJ/M for things that honestly have nothing to do with the books, the YA/publishing community, or problematic behavior. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of things worth discussing re: problematic author/stan behavior, but it’s easy to lose sight of the reason for antis to exist in the first place. On to reasoning:

1. The connotation.

This is something many of you know about me as well, but it bears repeating: I never hated SJ/M’s books. My blog is a result of my passion and enjoyment of the earlier books twisted into disappointment. I wouldn’t have bothered making a blog about these books if I hated them from start to finish. I wouldn’t have made an “anti” account if I’d felt that my opinions would be accepted among stans. I felt there was a lack in both the anti and stan community for my experience, so I’m here to give voice to that. Although I started out talking about the negatives, I don’t think my blog has ever fit most people’s idea of “anti” on this site. There are a lot of truly toxic anti communities all over Tumblr who exist just to shit on creators and fans or to be negative out of spite, and I really have never identified with that desire, nor have I tried to exhibit that behavior. But thanks to worst of the worst on this site, anyone who calls themselves anti is automatically associated with that. I also think as a whole, every SJ/M anti is doing completely different stuff with their own blogs. We’ve got book cover criticism, opinions and advice about publishing, T0G rewrite projects, shitposts, etc. I myself started expanding months ago into providing writing advice on diversity and generally writing meta. It’s not a group of angry people yelling slurs at each other like I’ve seen other anti communities do, so I don’t think it’s the right label for me.

2. Stans.

This goes a bit with the connotation point. I feel like, especially because of how I’ve branded myself and because of antis who preceded the current batch, stans really have no idea what I’m about. I have always been clear that I do not wish to attack them or their enjoyment of/engagement with the books. And yet I’m constantly being vagued about, having my words twisted, or having my arguments and blogging style very purposely, transparently ignored/misinterpreted/ridiculed in said vague-blog posts. All this despite stans’ frequent claim that they ~never~ go into anti tags or check out our blogs, and despite their other frequent claim they don’t believe in the anti/stan divide and that we’re more alike than not. I agree that this divide is dumb, but it’s kind of hard to distance myself from it while constantly being thrown under the bus by SJ/M BNFs. I don’t mind anyone viewing or interacting with my posts, because transparency and all, but it’s tiresome to constantly defend myself because I’m being misrepresented by accounts that are 4, 5, 6 times bigger than mine who either don’t know how I run my blog or purposely mischaracterize me. I can’t control other people’s behavior and I don’t want to, but this is a change I’m making for my own mental health and to promote better behavior among both communities, and I hope others follow suit.

3. Things I’ve handled poorly and how I want to do better.

Anyone with an ask blog for a minute inevitably acquires their share of public fuck-ups. I can think of a few instances in which I would have handled a situation differently. For example, a few months ago the community as a whole was asked to expand our conversation to more than just presenting SJ/M and Bardugo as foils, and I wish I’d been less defensive there. That day made me think a lot about the way I carry myself on this blog and how limited the conversation can sometimes be. I really do appreciate any and all criticism for the community, and looking back, I feel like my reaction to that didn’t go along with the way I usually try to handle criticism. I think it would be good to try and, like OP said, infuse more book promotion into my blog in general, to try to support and read more books by marginalized authors in the future so we can discuss them more thoroughly here.

In closing/TL;DR:

This isn’t inspired by any particular event or person, but rather a lot of things that have happened in the past several months on Tumblr, in the world and the media, and in my personal life. It’s not a change that was inspired out of negativity, but more out of trying to generate a more positive framework for my Tumblr activity and seeing how I can effect change through this blog. I’m still here for rants, masterposts calling out problematic books and characters, pretty much all the book talk I was doing before. This is just a really long-winded announcement that I want to expand my blog to a general spot for discussing diversity in media. Thank you so much for sticking it out if you made it all the way down here. Here’s to improving ourselves.

#anti sjm #polysorscha

[mooksie01]

With Teammates Like These, Who Needs Friends (4/5)

Chapter Summary: It turns out that the only thing worse than a tense first date in an airship... is an awkward first date in a haunted dust mine.

Or: In which Clover feels like a moron, Elm causes problems, and nobody knows how to deal with a crush.

Warnings: More swearing, canon-typical combat, SPOILERS for V7C3, light angst

AO3 Link: [X]

Link to First Chapter: [X]

Notes: THIS IS A REPOST. Tumblr basically blanked my first attempt at posting this a few hours ago. Hopefully this one will actually show up. 

Long chapter today to make up for the short one yesterday! I hope you all enjoy!

Please like, reblog, and comment if you like this chapter, and thank you so much to all of you who have been! Your support means the world!

(Just to preface, I haven't edited this chapter as thoroughly as I usually do, as I'm currently in the process of packing to go back to college tomorrow. I might come back later and give it another run-over when I have time, but for now, I'm sorry if there are any major mistakes or awkward spots in the chapter!)

---

Walking through the abandoned dust mines with Qrow, Clover can’t help but be… a little distracted.

Up until now, Clover had only ever seen the other man move in a manner so instinctively disconnected and introverted that he’d just assumed that that was how Qrow always was. Now, though, he sees that he was wrong before; beside him, Qrow marches forward, back straight, shoulders carefully held lax in preparation for any possible conflict, head high, and eyes shining with a startling clarity and determination that takes Clover’s breath away.

In short, he’s a vision and it’s a herculean task not to stare.

Still, Clover is a soldier first and foremost, and he doesn’t allow himself to be sucked in so much that he might lose focus on the mission.

After a few long moments punctuated by nothing but his team’s routine check-ins, Qrow speaks up, “Gotta say, ’m still not really used to working with other huntsmen in the field.”

Clover glances at him out of the corner of his eye, mentally jumping hurdles in an attempt to figure out what the best route to steer this conversation in would be. He decides to tread lightly--nothing too personal. “But you were on a team before, weren’t you?” he asks, as though he doesn’t already know. That should be safe.

Qrow sighs softly and his gaze darts to the ground.

Fuck.

Just kill him already.

“Long time ago…” Qrow’s voice comes out sounding gruffer than usual, “I’ve just found working alone tends to be for the best.”

Clover’s heart constricts in his chest. What is he supposed to do?! He’s already upset Qrow (twice, now!), how is he supposed to avoid doing it again?! He doesn’t want him to shut himself off from the Ace Ops just because Clover can’t stop sticking his foot in his mouth! Should he comfort him? He seems like he needs comfort. Fuck, he has to respond. What can he say?!

“Well, I think that’s a shame,” he blurts out, and immediately wants to punch himself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, he is saved from having to ruminate over his social missteps when Qrow suddenly pitches forward, his foot catching on the uneven terrain of the cave floor underneath them.

Clover dives after him, seizing him by one arm and grunting with the unexpected strain of having to pull his partner back to his feet, then moves one hand to clasp his shoulder and make sure he’s steady. He is unsure if he has his skill or his semblance to thank for the feat, but he is grateful nonetheless to whichever it is.

He determinedly does not think about how this is the second time today that he has gotten the opportunity to hold Qrow close. Because that would be weird.

Once Qrow is standing again, they stare at each other for what feels like a long time, but is probably only a split-second. Clover feels like tiny nevermores are making a mess of his insides the longer he looks into Qrow’s eyes.

Then, those incredibly nice-looking eyes narrow into a slight glare and Qrow takes a firm step back. Rather than think about what he’s messed up this time, Clover decides that now would be a perfect time to report in to his team.

“Alpha, here. Give me an update.”

Qrow falls into step behind him as they proceed forward. Once again, the minutes pass mostly in silence but for the intermittent interruptions of their comms. Unlike Squads Bravo and Charlie, they see no sign of any sentinels or the target itself, but Clover has a feeling that they will soon enough.

His comm buzzes in his ear and makes a soft beeping noise, a signal that someone is contacting him through the Ace Ops’ private channel. Clover is about to answer aloud, but stops when a quiet series of taps and drags echoes down the line. It takes him a second to realize he’s being spoken to through morse code. His heart starts racing. They almost never use morse code in the field. Has something gone wrong?

He listens closely.

“ ....  ---  .--  …  /  -.--  ---  ..-  .-.  /  -...  ..  .-.  -..  “

HOWS YOUR BIRD

He takes a deep breath in and steadily lets it out through his nose. Now is not the time to figure out if it’s possible to throttle someone through a comm line. Instead, he tries to discreetly raise a hand to his ear and respond:

“  ..  --  /  --.  ---  ..  -.  --.  /  -  ---  /  ..-.  ..  .-.  .  /  -.--  ---  ..-  “

IM GOING TO FIRE YOU

“Who are we firing?”

Clover startles, whipping his head around to look at Qrow. The other man stares impassively at him, a single eyebrow raised. Clover swallows hard because oh no, he’s hot. “Nobody. Well, Elm, probably.”

“What did she do?” Qrow asks, quickening his pace half a step until he is walking shoulder-to-shoulder with Clover again.

“Fooling around on comms during a mission. Don’t worry about it.” Clover stops walking, turning to face Qrow, who takes the hint and also comes to a halt. “How do you know morse code?”

Qrow shrugs, folding his arms over his chest. “Just a useful skill for a huntsman to have, isn’t it?”

Clover scrutinizes Qrow for a long moment, detecting that there’s something more to that. Unfortunately, though, he’s not Robyn, and he doesn’t know Qrow well enough yet to pick up on any tells he may have, so he just nods and they continue walking.

“Must’ve been something real interesting,” Qrow says after a few more minutes spent in silence, “to get you to blush like that.”

Clover’s steps falter. His face grows hot as he stares after Qrow’s retreating back.

Fuck.

He isn’t allowed to stew in his embarrassment for long, as their target suddenly phases through the cavern wall and appears right in front of them. Before Clover can even react, Qrow has already drawn his weapon and started shooting one-handed at the geist.

While Qrow keeps the creature busy, Clover shakes himself out of his stupor and speaks into his comm, “This is Alpha! We’ve engaged the target!” He pulls Kingfisher from his belt. “All squads head towards our position!” He extends the pole, and casts out the line, hoping to catch the geist by its ribs and haul it in before it can reach any materials to build a body out of. Unfortunately, his shot misses, the hook clattering to the ground just as the target darts into a giant chunk of ice sitting on the cavern floor.

Pieces of rock and ice begin to float into the air around them, pulled unrelentingly into the geist’s orbit. Clover curses under his breath and rushes forward, hoping to snag the geist and pull it out of its half-formed body before it can finish construction….

...Only to hear Qrow’s panic-filled voice echo from behind him, “Wait, stop!”

Clover looks up just in time to see a large metal beam tumble from the ceiling above. He raises his arms and takes a stumbling step back as it crashes into the ground just a few feet in front of him.

When the dust settles, he peers down into the hole it had made, taking the target with it.

Dammit.

He knows for certain that that beam would’ve done some serious damage if not for Qrow’s warning. He probably wouldn’t have died, but he certainly would’ve been out of commission for more than a little while.

Still, the target got away, and as Qrow runs to stand beside him, he reports in to the rest of the teams, “Target escaped. Last seen headed east.”

He shoots a sideways glance at Qrow, who is staring contemplatively down into the chasm, a strange light in his eyes that Clover can’t quite comprehend.

He looks back into the seemingly-bottomless darkness. Kicks a medium-sized stone into the newly-made pit in an attempt to get a rough estimate of how deep it goes. “Thanks for the call-out,” he says, suddenly remembering that he should probably express his gratitude toward Qrow for saving him an awful lot of injured leave. He props a hand on his hip and shifts his weight as the rock lands below. “That could’ve been bad.”

Qrow sighs heavily next to him, “I wouldn’t thank me….”

Clover is taken aback at the sheer amount of self-loathing and shame loaded into those four little words. He looks at Qrow. The other man is firmly avoiding his gaze, and the strange quality that Clover had noticed in his eyes earlier now registers in the back of his mind as guilt.

This… was not the Qrow Branwen that Clover had thought he’d be dealing with. Just a few hours ago, he couldn’t fathom a world in which such a famous huntsman would be anything less than confident and secure in himself, but it is becoming increasingly clear that that assumption couldn’t have been more wrong, as the intense self-contempt Clover hears seems to settle within a well-worn place in Qrow’s face and voice.

Qrow angles his upper body away a bit more so Clover can no longer see his expression. “My semblance brings Misfortune. Sometimes… I can’t keep it under control.” His voice gets weaker at the end of the sentence. His fists clench weakly at his sides.

Clover’s chest seizes with some unnamed emotion.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Qrow had been upset this morning--his semblance was literally bad luck and here Clover had been, walking around with a bunch of good luck charms and making luck-based puns.

Reviewing the events of the past hours, more and more pieces fall into place. Qrow’s sudden shift in mood from playful to downtrodden after they’d run into each other, how he’d repeatedly downplayed his hurt feelings as “dramatics,” the way he’d said on the airship that he “couldn’t blame” Clover for--for what?

He remembers the way Qrow had gestured to his ensemble earlier. His world tilts on its axis.

Oh, Brothers, Qrow thought that Clover already knew his semblance and had been wearing all of his charms as some sort of twisted precautionary measure. To ward off him. A human person with thoughts and feelings.

Stupid, stupid, so stupid.

He shakes his brain’s attempts at self-punishment away. What’s more important at the moment is that he now knows what’s wrong, and that he can fix it, and Clover decides in this moment, a million thoughts running through his head, that he no longer cares about the other Ace Ops’ teasing. If hanging around Qrow from here on out is what it will take to boost this gorgeous man’s self-confidence, then that’s what Clover will do.

“That so?” Clover asks, as though he hasn’t been rethinking every single one of their interactions up to this point. When Qrow turns to look at him, eyes wide with shock, having obviously expected a far worse reaction, Clover flashes him the most reassuring smile in his repertoire (and that’s saying something, since he has a lot of reassuring smiles saved up at this point). “Well, hey,” he says, purposefully making a show of glancing casually at his scroll’s screen and extending Kingfisher, “don’t beat yourself up about it.”

(He hopes desperately that this remark comes off as encouraging, rather than callous.)

He pulls down what’s left of the metal beam that had almost crushed him, resulting in a small-scale landslide that just-so-happens to give them a way down with which to follow the target.

He turns to face Qrow, making direct eye contact with the other man, who seems to have frozen in place.

And hey.

“My semblance is good fortune….”

If he can get in a little flirting while he’s hanging around the aforementioned gorgeous man?

“...lucky you, huh?” He gives the other a wink as he speaks. Qrow’s eyes widen. Clover raises his eyebrows and turns away, watching Qrow until the last possible moment.

Well, that’s neither here nor there.

---

More Notes: And there we go! Only one chapter left in this part of the series! I'm glad everyone seems to be liking it so far, and I'm so, so thankful to those of you who have been so kind and supportive in the comments. You're all amazing! Lots of love, fair game rights <3

#rwby #qrow branwen #clover ebi #fair game #qrowver #lucky charms #luckbirds #elm ederne #rwby volume 7 #rwby7 #rwby v7 #rwby fanfiction #rwby spoilers #pining #angst

[nobszone]

A midterm night’s dream

So as my American followers know, we have an election tomorrow. Rather exciting isn’t it? I can say I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the run up to this one, though it took a while to really get going.

Anyway, before we all go to the polls, I’d like to share a rather...interesting experience I had last week.

(Also a thousand apologies to Jonathan Pie, whose writings this story is ripping off inspired by).

The story begins last week, November the 1st. It had been a busy day. It was the day after Halloween which meant everyone was rushing to put away the pumpkins and deck the halls, gamers everywhere were getting ready for the start of Blizzcon the next day (only to be inevitably disappointed when Blizzard pulled a Konami) and the entire internet had learned what I had known for years; the most powerful Smasher was The Pink Nightmare.

But it had also been a very busy few months. The Midterm Elections had been circled on many an American’s calendar ever since January 20, 2017. A lot of things had been happening in the American political sphere this year, and there was a palpable sense of anticipation for the Midterms, and for good reason. This was, in many ways, the first major referendum on the job performance of Donald Trump. 

So as you can imagine, this particular election was being framed as “The Most Important Election Ever.” But seeing as how the same thing had been said about the last several elections, I knew that for better or worse it would most likely be back to business as usual once it was over (for what passes as “usual” these days).

So on that day I had returned home from work, and when I opened my mailbox I was delighted to see my absentee ballot inside. Truth be told, I don’t really care much for standing in line at the polls and given that my ballot this year had quite a lot of things on it to consider, I really didn’t feel like standing in a voting booth for a good 30 minutes. 

Even so, ever since I turned 18 I’ve never missed a chance to participate in our democratic process, and I wasn’t going to start now.

Now I know what you’re all thinking. How did I intend to vote? Well, this was a bit of a tricky proposition for me. I try my best to be an informed voter, reading up on the candidates and their stances on the issues and deciding for myself who’s platform I agree with more.

But this time I was going purely on instinct, and my instinct was to vote straight-ticket Democrat. Which really felt strange because, historically, my instinct has always been to do the opposite of whatever Michael Moore tells me to do.

I parked my car and opened the door to my house, with a spring in my step and my ballot in my hand. I was confident in my conviction that, despite some reservations, voting for the Dems in this election was the only sensible choice to make. And I knew it was the right choice, because my Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr feeds had been saying the same for months. Anyone who was anyone was telling me that only a racist, idiot or Russian spy would vote for the GOP in this election, so it must be true.

And besides, I had conjured up a fantasy in my head of Trump being so irate at a Democratic controlled house that he instantly resigned the Presidency out of spite.

This was going to be easy.

Well, it had been a long day at work, and it’s not a good idea to vote when your mind is fatigued. So I decided a quick nap was in order; and afterwards I would be refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to do my civic duty as a citizen of the Republic.

I set the ballot down on the counter and sprawled out on the couch and closed my eyes. I was home alone, and thus I felt no particular reservations about napping in the living room.

And then, something happened.

A voice began to speak to me. I became apprehensive and frightened. Who was it that was speaking? Was it my conscience? Was it God? Was it the first signs of schizophrenia?

Either way, I instantly knew who was addressing me. 

It was the voice...of Princess Luna.

Now, don’t be alarmed. As long time followers know, I am an OG Brony. And as such, I occasionally experience visitations from the denizens of Equestria during times of emotional distress. Whether it’s Twilight Sparkle giving me encouragement before finals, Rainbow Dash assuring me that neither the last launch of the Space Shuttle nor the 2017 Solar Eclipse will be clouded out, or Vinyl Scratch giving me some companionship on those cold Winter nights, I’ve just gotten used to it.

But this was the first time I’d been visited by Princess Luna. The lunar regent herself! The only pony who’s presence in a dream actually made sense!

Time slowed, I sat up on the couch, rubbing my eyes blearily. But Luna remained standing in front of me, having adopted a humanoid form for a variety of Freudian reasons. Once again she began to speak.

“My friend, what troubles you?”

I sighed.

“I’m confused.”

An expression of sympathy crossed her face as she put a hand on her chest.

“Of course you’re confused. How can you not be? Everyone is confused. Because the only thing the media is talking about is what this means for Donald Trump.

“But there’s something missing. Information. How can you possibly make a decision if you’re not properly informed?”

She sat down beside me, taking my hand in hers.

“You and your fellow citizens have a tough choice to make. The GOP’s stance on immigration has been reprehensible, and Trump’s wish to mobilize troops is practically a Kent State-style situation waiting to happen. But despite his overtones, those migrants are not turning around. What happens to them when they get to the border? What happens if Trump ends birthright citizenship? And what about legal immigrants?  If you sustain immigration at its current levels, what will happen to public services? Will Medicaid be able to cope?

“The economy is doing rather nice. Historically speaking, a good economy bodes well for the ruling party. But what about Trump’s trade war with China? Or the tax bill? Trump has often used the stock market as an indicator of how the economy is doing, but it lost nearly $2 trillion last month alone!

“And there’s so many other issues to consider as well. Will LGBT rights continue to be protected? Will your foreign policy change? Will gun rights be protected? There’s a lot to consider here.”

I held up a hand. “I know all these things, Luna. Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, you know the Republicans plans for these things. But, tell me my friend, have you heard anything from the Democrats about how they plan to handle issues?”

I paused. I thought about her question and realized she was right. I’ve heard how my local candidates would approach those issues, but in terms of a unified strategy from the Democrats? 

I’d heard nothing. 

Other than-

“All you’ve heard from the Democrats is that you need to vote for them so they can stop Trump. And yes, that very well could happen, but to what end?” Luna asked, finishing my thought.

She stood up and faced me.

“The real problem is nobody wants to admit that they don’t know what will happen if things stay as they are for two more years, let alone what will happen if there’s significant opposition to the President. Your country has never had a President like this before.

“The GOP says that they’ll advocate for Conservative views and values instead of constantly kissing Trump’s ring. But recent history tells us that’s not going to happen. Furthermore, the GOP has traditionally been in favor of a smaller government and a weaker executive branch, and now you’re in a position where the traditional Republican argument is being made by Democrats. And because everyone thinks that the GOP is a bunch of racists, Libertarians like yourself are scared of being labeled Pro-Trump by default!”

Luna began to pace around the room as she started to talk of fear. “This whole debate, if you can call it a debate, has been about causing fear!” she cried. And every time she said the word “fear”, she spoke in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“The Democrats say that your democracy will be undermined by Trump’s authoritarian tendencies. Fear. 

“Trump says that America will be overrun by caravans of migrants and masses of illegal aliens if the Republicans lose. Fear.

“Barack Obama says the character of your country is on the ballot. Fear.

“The GOP is not only ramping up the threat of illegals, but that a Democratic majority would wreck the economy. Fear or fear? Would you like some fear with your fear?!”

Luna paused. I sat upright, riveted to my seat.

“The level of debate during this process has been terrifying! It has exposed everything that is wrong with modern political discourse. Jane Fonda compared Trump to Hitler, as if that comparison has never been made about any politician since 1945, yet Fox News claims that liberal donors would rather the Democrats start a nuclear war, if that was the case then why would anyone vote for a party who could potentially destroy the planet? 

“Emma Gonzalez says that the lives of high school students depend on who is elected, and Trump says a vote for Democrats is a vote for MS-13 to run wild. I always thought school shootings and MS-13′s criminal activities would happen regardless of who was in office, but no, silly me, apparently the GOP is allowing people to gun down kids, while paradoxically MS-13 supports more gun control legislation! Once again, a national political debate has descended into FARCE! ”

Luna’s voice reached a fever pitch. It felt like the entire world shook with the reverberation of each syllable.

“The right has completely abandoned its principles in favor of supporting a man with an ego the size of a planet and the intelligence of a gnat! And the left has made it all about personality over politics, emotion over logic, which is a laugh seeing as their candidate in the last election lacked both of those things!”

“This is the choice your country faces!” Luna exclaimed, her eyes burrowing into my soul and her voice shattering every molecule of air around me. “Vote for Democrats and you’re supporting Identity Politics! Vote for Republicans and you’re supporting Statism! IDENTITY POLITICS OR STATISM! FUCK ME, WHAT A CHOICE! YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE STUCK BETWEEN THE WEHRMACHT AND THE RED ARMY!”

The silence was nearly as deafening as the voice it succeeded. I sat there, looking Luna square in the eye, her face seemingly frozen in an intense glare.

And then I could look no more. I put my face into my hands and I wept.

She was correct. For all my enthusiasm and patriotism, we were at a morton’s fork yet again. My hope was that once the 2016 election was over, the polarization would die down as both parties sought to get on with the job. Instead it never ended. The GOP sold out to Trump and the Dems learned nothing from Clinton’s defeat.

“What do I do?” I managed to choke out. “What can I do?”

It was at this point that I felt Luna embrace me. Her arms wrapping around my back, gently rubbing like a mother soothing an upset child. Her head rested on my shoulder, her snout buried in the crook of my neck as she did her best to bring my emotions back to a more reasonable level.

“It’s alright, my friend.” She whispered to me. “You know what you must do...you always have.”

And then I opened my eyes. I was awake, and she was gone.

Even now, nearly a week later, I still can’t get my head around what happened. Sure enough when I woke up, I felt refreshed and in the correct mindset to cast my ballot.

But following the advice of the lunar regent, I abandoned my original plan and instead I took some time to brush up on the candidates and their platforms once more. Then I voted for the candidates that I felt would do the best job.

And I honestly can’t work out how I would’ve voted if I hadn’t taken that nap.

And now it’s your turn. Despite all the polls and predictions, we still have no idea how today is going to turn out. This time however, both sides share blame for the uncertainty. 

What it comes down to is this. We’re nearly 2 years into Donald Trump’s attempt to “Make America Great Again”, but we still don’t know what that means. Maybe I’m being factitious though, because Trump and his hardcore base seems to know what it means. It means an America with walls on the borders and divisions among the populace, an America where you can’t trust anyone (especially any TV channel that isn’t Fox News), an America where potential interference from a hostile power is not only tolerated, but perhaps encouraged.

Doesn’t sound that great to me, but of course you’re free to disagree with that.

But the Democrats aren’t much better. What the hell is their plan for America? Have they thought of anything besides “Impeach Trump?” And what if the Mueller probe comes back and it turns out that even if Russia was running an operation to harm our country and people Trump knew were involved but Trump himself wasn’t, what happens then? Hope he invites a porn star to the Oval Office and do re-enactment the Lewinsky affair?

The problem is no one knows what the Democrat’s plans are, because they have no plan after “Impeach Trump.” In a related story, no one knows what “Make America Great Again” means because no one ever knew what it meant.

And, like it or not, this all falls at the feet of Donald Trump.

We were never supposed to vote for Donald Trump.

You know it, I know it, we all know it. No one thought we would vote for Trump. Even people that voted for Trump didn’t think we’d vote for Trump. That’s why the Democrats were so eager for him to get the nomination and didn’t particularly care that they screwed over Bernie Sanders for an utterly unelectable candidate in Hillary Clinton; they assumed an election against Trump wouldn’t mean a Trump win, but it did and instead we got the single biggest embarrassment of the Democrats since 1968.

Fast forward two years later, and really nothing has changed.

For the last two years, the level of debate has been appalling from both sides of the aisle. Both sides have to take responsibility for this. There haven’t been any facts. There’s been no debate about policy, proposals, nothing. It’s all been about who can say the most alarmist thing or pull off the sneakiest trick and get away with it.

Nothing that has happened over the last two years has been reasonable political debate. It’s more like a dream you have after you’ve done a fifth of Vodka and a No Mercy run on Undertale.

One involving Princess Luna perhaps?

#politics #American Politics #Midterm Elections #humor #jonathan pie #brony #bronies #mlp

[dramallamadingdang]

And finally...replies. :)

Sorry if this gets incoherent. :) We went on a hiking day-trip with a group of friends today, and I’m pretty wiped out. Just wanted to get Tumblr communication done before I totally crash because otherwise, I get way behind and never get out of the hole. :)

First of all, I’m very happy that people liked the skies I shared! I did work hard on some of them, and I’m so happy to see them in people’s games. Thank you all for all the “thank yous.” ;) And I look forward to making more, too. I think the rotating ones are going to come out well. :)

And now for more specific replies for @nerianasims, @quill-of-thoth, @kyosmash, @strangetomato, @elfpuddle, @eulaliasims, @lilsisterg, @holleyberry, @littleblondesim, and @penig...

nerianasims replied to your post “kyosmash replied to your post : You can always use the fitness4all mod...”

I 100% get what you're saying, but I feel like the game itself is largely at fault in this one case. It's a mess when it comes to weight. To deal, I look at the "lazy/active" node as "slow/fast metabolism." Unfortunately, the way the game is programmed, the only way to have chubby Sims organically is to have them eat "too much" (which ugh, I gain fat when I don't eat enough.) So I have noeatcrap for that. And because seeing Sims eat spoiled food makes me feel sick.

Yes, it’s true that game mechanics are partly to blame. And really, the “eat too much, get fat” thing IS a reflection of real life. That is actually how it is. Generally, if you eat too many calories for your metabolic and activity level -- barring various medical issues, etc. -- you’ll gain weight. Thing is, that’s true for everyone. Not just for lazy people. True, less active people require fewer calories so if they aren’t careful they are more likely to gain weight than more active people, but if a lazy person is careful and doesn’t eat too much for their lower activity level, they are no more likely to get fat than a marathon runner. (Barring, as I said, various medical conditions like thyroid issues and whatnot.) 

The issue, in my mind, with the mod is that it “targets” only one group of Sims for fatness, to the exclusion of everyone else. And it happens to be a group that, in real life, is stereotypically fat. The vanilla game does not do that. Like I said, I’m probably over-sensitive on the issue because of my own struggles (even though my own struggle is to put and keep weight on, not to lose it), but many people are overly sensitive about something in the game. It’s probably inevitable, since it’s meant to reflect real life. True, it’s “supposed” to be a cartoonish kind of life, but a lot of people don’t play it that way, so...Yeah, people will get bugs up their butts about different things. This is my very own pet butt-bug. ;)

quill-of-thoth replied to your post “kyosmash replied to your post : You can always use the fitness4all mod...”

What I always wish with the pescado mods is that he ever took the time to LIST all of the things that he did in them in his initial release, because we need that info to prevent conflicts... even with other MATY mods. I also wish I could mess with BHAVS, I've been meaning to find something to vastly reduce rolling wants to be cured of supernaturalism / unlink it from aspiration forever...

Yes, I have the same wish. :\ But as I said elsewhere, not documenting is part of his shtick. So, that leaves it up to users who care about what they put in their game to do the documenting. That’s wrong, IMO, but what can you do? *shrug*

Anyway, I could very well be wrong but as I understand it, rolled wants aren’t related to BHAVs and are just governed by “want trees” that link certain wants to certain aspirations and things like that. There are mods out there that alter those trees, but they are sort of like default replacements in that you can only have one replacement file at a time. Perhaps it would be instructive to look at one of those? It usually isn’t for me because I often have not a clue as to what I’m looking at, but maybe you’ll have a better understanding than I would. :) Me, I’d just like to nuke curing wants altogether. In my game, the various “supernaturals” are just genetic conditions and can’t be cured except by aliens, who have superior knowledge of genetic engineering. So, those wants are completely worthless to me and are never fulfilled unless the aliens happen to cure someone when they or a relative has a cure want for them.

kyosmash replied to your post “kyosmash replied to your post : You can always use the fitness4all mod...”

Thank you for the info! I've actually been getting into BHAVs myself so if I get a chance I might be able to take a look, maybe there's just one or two things to get pulled out of there. I wasn't aware of this because I've had it in my game for so long I didn't think about it. Have to agree that Pes' descriptions are a little lackluster sometimes.

Hey, if you come up with anything, I’ll be happy to have it! :) And you’re welcome for the info. IMO, when it comes to Pescado’s mods, the more info that’s shared about what they do and don’t do, the better. :)

strangetomato replied to your post “kyosmash replied to your post : You can always use the fitness4all mod...”

Yeah, I understand they were his personal mods, @lilsisterg. I'm just saying that for my game, those features make the mod unusable. And the more disparate features included in a single mod increases the sense of "his way or the highway". And I will gladly take the highway if some of those features put me off.

That stuff I bolded and italicized up there? That. Totally that. With Pes’s mods, I stay very close to the on-ramp to the highway until I’ve thoroughly tested. :)

And on a totally unrelated note: I am so happy to see JRO on my dash lately! I’m not gonna be able to catch up and comment tonight before I crash, but I just wanted to say that I’ve been thrilled to see you posting. :)

elfpuddle replied to your post “You can always use the fitness4all mod from MATY so your already...”

What food mods do you use instead (if any)?

Very few. Off the top of my head, I think the only food-related thing I have is Mog’s “Simply Leftovers,” so that leftovers can be stored as individual plates rather than as group meals that have to be re-served. Oh wait! I also have one that makes the meals have 8 servings rather than 6. I think that’s all I have that’s food-related...

eulaliasims replied to your post “The bad thing about @nyshabrokeit‘s new townie body diversity mod? Is...”

I kind of want to, too, and I *make* all my townies. Such a cool mod!

I will never, ever, have the patience or desire to make all my own townies because Sim-making is definitely not something I enjoy doing. Plus, I kinda like seeing (and sometimes pointing and laughing at) what the game comes up with. It’s why I townify everything. So, the mod is just what I wanted. :)

lilsisterg replied to your post “You can always use the fitness4all mod from MATY so your already...”

I make all of my townies and I have this mod installed ... Some of the townies are fit and some have gotten fat over time. I believe it works according to their lazy/active personalities. I'm not really sure, but I also have a mod that prevents Sims with high active points from over eating which helps keep them fit. This adds balance because I suspect without it all of my townies would be fat by now.

This one, I’m going to try out, see what happens. I suspect that I will end up with too many fat townies because I enjoy sending Sims out to eat and I currently have a couple player-owned restaurants that get run five days a week when I’m playing the owning household. Non-playable Sims at restaurants get a push to eat whether or not they are hungry and regardless of their personality, and that will contribute to them getting fat with such a mod in place. Whereas I believe (although I could be wrong) that at a community-lot gym, the visiting Sims are still governed by the lazy/active aspect of their personalities as to whether or not they’ll work out. 

In any case, I appreciate that Nysha’s new body diversity mod creates “extreme” townies, in that those who are generated as fit or fat are at the extreme point values for those states, so they will not be too easily altered by what they do (or are forced to do) on community lots. 

holleyberry replied to your post “The bad thing about @nyshabrokeit‘s new townie body diversity mod? Is...”

I was thinking the same thing. I have a "Just for Fun" hood I'm thinking of starting over now too.

I actually AM going to restart my religious isolationist ‘hood, now that I’ve ironed the bugs out of its ruleset, and I got kind of excited about being able to use the mod in a non-testing environment...and then I remembered that that neighborhood will have no townies at all. FOILED! :)

littleblondesim replied to your photo “Since Sharon and Nathen want a large family (She wants four kids, he...”

Is their ideal family sized based on that one algorithm you shared that one time? Vague question is vague. :P

Yeah, it is. Basically, I arbitrarily assigned a range of values for each aspiration that I think made a sort of sense. For instance, the max number of kids for Romance is 2, while the minimum number for a Family Sim is 4. When I need to assign an ideal family size -- which is most often when a born-in-game turns teen, but also for married-ins and for CAS Sims -- I do two random number generations, one for each of their aspirations, and then take the average of the two results as their ideal family size. This way, a Family Sim with a Romance secondary (or vice versa) would have the possible extreme results for each of their aspirations mitigated a bit. 

Nathen is actually Knowledge/Pleasure, but he managed to roll the high extreme (which is 8) for both of his aspirations and so ended up with an IFS of 8, which is usually more like a number a Family Sim would have. :) So, that was interesting. :)

penig replied to your post “After all that hard work at Uni and graduating magna cum laude in a...”

It beats Test Subject, and she'll rise like a rocket.

True. But it’s just disappointing that there is very little career reward for all her hard work. :) The limiting factor was one of the necessary skills for the career; the biology major just didn’t require her to get that many points in that category. (I don’t remember which skill it was off the top of my head. Maybe Logic.)

#nerianasims #quill-of-thoth #kyosmash #strangetomato #elfpuddle #eulaliasims #lilsisterg #holleyberry #littleblondesim #penig #replies

[yeaharrys]

Finding Finley / Chapter Three

“Oh Finley, when was the last time you seriously dated someone? You’re almost 24, I’m just trying to jump start something!”

“Wow, I didn’t know being 23 and single is a crime now.”

For Finley O'Connor, love comes second, much to her mother’s dismay. For Harry Styles, life couldn’t revolve without love. When the pair are set up on a blind date, they make a pact to help each other get the thing that is apparently missing from their lives. But how long will it take for them to realise what truly is missing?

A story about being 23, blind dates, and finding who you truly are.

read on wattpad or read on tumblr

Chapter Three: The Friend Request

Saturday mornings were my favourite. It was my one of my only chances of being completely alone in my flat and therefore one of my only chances of solitude. So, despite the fact that I rolled into bed in a drunken state not long after midnight after walking home from the station, I still forced my tired self out of bed when my alarm chirped at 7am.

In theory, having a flatmate seems like an awesome idea. You have someone to split rent and bills costs, someone to help with the household chores, someone to come home to. In practice, however, it's not so simple. Alice was my flatmate, and calling her intense would be putting it lightly. I found her advertisement for a flatmate in the local paper and on a whim decided to follow up on it. The flat was great, good location and spacious. I signed on to the one year lease with her almost immediately. This is something I would come to regret in the following weeks.

Alice was a clean freak. A no-food-in-the-bedroom, no-drinks-without-a-coaster, no-items-in-the-cupboard-without-a-label type of clean freak. And while it was endearing at first, five months later and I was almost always on edge when I was at home. One thing out of place, and Alice would be shooting me daggers and making my life all that much crappier for the rest of the week. So, that's why I came to cherish Saturday mornings. Alice always worked the Saturday morning shift at one of the local cafés so that meant I had until 12pm to relax around the flat before going to hole myself up in my room for the rest of the week, the only relatively Alice-free zone.

I shuffled into the immaculately clean kitchen and grabbed the loaf of sliced bread from the freezer (labelled WHOLEGRAIN, EXP: 18 SEP 2017) and threw two pieces into the toaster before boiling some water. A good cup of tea would immediately scrub the hazy state my mind was currently in. Whilst I wasn't hungover, the shots last night meant I woke up with a small ache in the back of my head. The lack of sleep probably didn't help either.

Once my tea was sufficiently brewed and my toast coated in peanut butter (EXP: 11 JAN 2018), I settled myself on the lounge and pulled up my laptop. The real reason I loved Saturday mornings so much was that it was one of my only peaceful, distraction-free times to write. Script writing to be specific. It started as a topic of interest when I began to expand my film watching horizons as a teen, and three elective classes at uni later had me hooked. I was completely enamoured with the fact that every great movie started with a great script. Whilst it was just a hobby, I couldn't help but love crafting and blocking out scenes of my wildest imaginations. And whilst writing had become an important part of my life, I preferred to keep my hobby on the down low. This made those few hours of being home alone all that more precious. These past few weeks I had been re-working my own version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. After spending a lonely Friday night watching it on Netflix I was struck with inspiration and decided to take the characters into my own hands.

Whilst munching on my toast, I clicked through and deleted any unimportant emails, checked my iMessage as I couldn't be bothered getting my phone from my bedside table and logged onto Facebook. I made it a point to check my social media, mainly as my mum insisted on tagging me in as many posts as possible and if I didn't promptly reply I would have a phone call from her asking why I was ignoring her.

This morning there was only 2 notifications. And, to my surprise, a friend request. I clicked on the illuminated red (1) and audibly laughed when I saw who it was. Harry Styles. I pressed accept without hesitation, and against better judgement, clicked onto his profile.

I caught myself smiling as his full profile loaded up. His profile picture featured him grinning cheekily at the camera, his arm thrown around a boy with blonde hair who was gripping a pint of beer. I scrolled down his page, various photos and posts littering his wall. I saw the same three or four faces cropping up with Harry, it definitely looked like he had a close knit group of friends.

I had scrolled all the way back to 2014 when I saw a picture of Harry with a girl. A quick glance at who was tagged confirmed that it was Isabel. Gorgeous was an understatement. Her hair, a light shade of brown with a perfect amount of golden highlights, was cascading down over one of her shoulders. She was wearing a simple red dress, but on her it looked tailor made. It was a candid shot, both of them looking into each others eyes with their faces split into laughing grins. You could feel the love radiating from them both just from looking at the photo. It was almost hard to believe that two years later they would be broken up.

I was just about to close the tab when a message box popped up at the bottom of the page. I almost spilt my tea when I saw who it was, like he knew I had just spent the past 20 minutes thoroughly combing through his Facebook profile.

Harry Styles: well hello there, early riser

I chuckled to myself, my fingers hovering over the keys as I formulated a response.

Finley O'Connor: hello stranger. same can be said to you, i'm surprised you are awake after all those shots

Harry Styles: you may be shocked to hear that i can actually handle my alcohol

Harry Styles: i was almost afraid you weren't going to accept my friend request

Finley O'Connor: i'll be honest, i almost didn't accept based on the fact that you had already found my profile without me even telling you my full name last night. stalker abilities on point?

Harry Styles: hahahaha

Harry Styles: i will also be honest, i knew your last name before we even met last night. your aunty basically gave my mum your birth certificate lol

Harry Styles: i also may have stalked you on fb before last night. felt like i shouldnt add you until i met you though, didn't want to be a creep

Finley O'Connor: ah, so that's how you knew who i was when i walked in last night. creep status has definitely achieved

Harry Styles: oh don't act like you havent just been stalking my profile

Harry Styles: i know i have on yours. did you enjoy tea at the langham last month?

I laughed. At least I felt a little better about my shameless Facebook stalking.

Finley O'Connor: omg

Finley O'Connor: how do i block people on facebook???

Finley O'Connor: just kidding. i scrolled back to 2014 so beat that

I decided to move from the lounge to my favourite writing spot, the dining table. At this time of the morning, the sun was always at the perfect angle to warm my back as I typed away. I settled into the chair, opening up the Word Doc containing my work in progress. Before I could type a word though, the Facebook message tone blipped.

Harry Styles: find anything interesting?

I contemplated for a moment whether I should mention the Isabel photo. Considering how candid Harry ended up being about his relationship last night, I figured it wasn't unapproachable territory.

Finley O'Connor: yes, actually. an old photo of you and isabel

I stared expectantly at the small chat box, waiting for the dots to appear to signify he was responding. The seconds ticked by and I began chewing my lip. Perhaps a wrong move? I clicked back to my half written script, trying not to fixate on something so small. However, when the message tone pinged again a couple minutes later, I scrambled to click back to the page.

Harry Styles: yeah there's still a few photos scattered through there, ones she hasn't deleted yet anyways

I didn't know how to respond. I could sense it was still a touchy subject, not that I blamed him. But, he ended up responding for me.

Harry Styles: speaking of....

Harry Styles: we're you serious about what you suggested last night? i know we were both a little tipsy...

I raised my eyebrows. I had forgotten about the drunken pact we had made on the Croydon platform late last night. I actually had some second-hand embarrassment from the idea I had hatched, why did I even think it was a good idea?

Finley O'Connor: oh that pact thing? we don't actually have to do that lol. just a bit of a laugh you know

Harry Styles: what?? no i already have someone in mind to set you up with

Now it was my turn to delay a response. Was he being serious? Was this something I should actually involve myself into? I mean, I had met Harry once and all of the sudden I'm supposed to trust his taste in men for me? And on top of that, he's supposed to trust me to help him win back his ex-girlfriend? I was half-wishing I could've just kept my drunken mouth shut last night.

Harry Styles: hello?? fin?????

Finley O'Connor: i mean.... if you're really serious about it, then sure

I hoped I wasn't going to live to regret this.

Harry Styles: brilliant

Harry Styles: wanna grab a coffee? discuss logistics??

My eyes flickered over to the time displayed in the top left hand corner of my laptop. It had just ticked past 8am, meaning I had 4 hours of non-Alice time ahead of me. Coffee would cut into that. I sighed as I clicked back over to my half-written script, my eyes skimming over the last few lines I had typed out. I guess I could miss my writing session for one week.

Finley O'Connor: have somewhere in mind?

apologies for a short chapter, i decided to split it up, hopefully this wasn’t too boring for you?? let me know your thoughts! thanks for reading :)

#1dff #1dffupdates #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #one direction #harry styles #finding finley

[gabbygumswrites]

Friends with Cuddle-fits - A Dan/Phil Fanfiction

Friends with Cuddle-fits

Fandom: Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil (Phandom)

Rating: Gen

Tags: Cuddling, Platonic Cuddling, Romantic Friendship, implied Asexuality

Words:2,663

Summary: They never talked about the cuddling. Dan never really asked for it. He just gave Phil that very particular look; his brown eyes big and pleading, shying away from looking directly at Phil, and his arms extended ever so slightly. Phil always thought that Dan looked like a child during these moments, asking for something that he wasn’t sure he was actually allowed to have. (Because I'm a sucker for Dan and Phil cuddles.)

AO3 Link

You can read the fanfiction on AO3 (see link above), or you can read it below. Feel free to share it but please link back to either my AO3 account or my tumblr account . Enjoy!

Phil looked up from his laptop, blinking up at his best friend. Dan was standing right in front of him. He was looking down at Phil, his eyes big and imploring.

“Phil,” he said, extending his arms a little. He didn’t have to say anything else. Phil knew exactly what that particular tone of voice meant. He wanted to sigh, because, really, Dan was just interrupting a very important wikipedia research on the mating rituals of ants. But he also didn’t want to give Dan the wrong impression.

Instead, he just put his laptop on one of the unpacked boxes beside the couch and unfolded his legs from underneath himself. He extended his own arms and smiled up at Dan.

Dan didn’t miss a beat and flung himself into Phil’s arms, burrowing his head into his chest.

Dan’s cuddling fits had become more frequent since they moved into their new apartment. It slowed them down immensely. They had hardly unpacked any of their stuff except for the essentials. Phil had wanted to point this out more than one time; he had actually almost lost his temper when Dan clung to his neck like it was a lifeline even though Phil had been in the middle of unpacking his clothes.

They never talked about the cuddling. Dan never really asked for it. He just gave Phil that very particular look; his brown eyes big and pleading, shying away from looking directly at Phil, and his arms extended ever so slightly. Phil always thought that Dan looked like a child during these moments, asking for something that he wasn’t sure he was actually allowed to have.

The first time it happened, they hadn’t even been living together. Phil was living in Manchester, alone, in a small flat that Dan had already spent more time in than in his own dormitory. They had both sat on Phil’s couch, watching some shitty action movie. Phil couldn’t even remember which one. He had been thoroughly bored by it, and hadn’t tried to hide the occasional yawn. Dan hadn’t seemed all too keen on it either, but for some reason they kept on watching, their eyes glued to the telly.

Then, suddenly, Phil felt Dan’s hand touch his arm. Phil had started, whipping his head around. Dan had hooked his arms around Phil’s, the side of his head resting against Phil’s shoulder. He had still been looking at the telly, completely ignoring Phil’s wild stare at him. If it had been even possible, he looked calmer than before, his eyes drooping slightly.

Of course, Phil had freaked out a little. He hadn’t registered anything else from the movie. He had starred at the telly, sitting awkwardly stiff on the couch, thinking of the best way to let Dan down gently without losing his friendship. Because, clinging to someone in such a way, in a semi-dark room, while watching a shitty movie, surely meant that they were coming unto you…weren’t they?

Phil had still been fretting when the credits were rolling up the screen. When he had felt Dan shift next to him his only frantic thought had been Oh god he’s coming unto me! , and his lips were already forming the words I really like you Dan, but not in that way.

“Well that movie was stupid,” Dan had said, jumping off the sofa and flicking on the light. The sudden brightness of the room had Phil blinking up at Dan. He had known his confusion was blatant on his face, but it had seemed that Dan had chosen to ignore it. He had just stood there, his hands in his jeans pocket, tapping his foot on the floor.

“Coffee?” he had asked.

“Yes,” Phil had said. He hadn’t felt able to say anything else. Dan had shot over to the kitchen unit and started rummaging through the cupboards.

They hadn’t talked about it.

They hadn’t talked about it when it happened a second time, with Dan resting his head on Phil’s shoulder while they were watching an anime.

They hadn’t talked about it when it happened a third and fourth time; when it happened so often that Phil lost count.

They hadn’t talked about it when Phil started to reciprocate, putting his arm around Dan and holding him tight.

They hadn’t talked about it when Dan actually came into Phil’s room with that very particular look in his eyes, and Phil had known him long enough to know that Dan really needed this.

And that was the reason why they were currently curled up on the sofa. Dan had his face burrowed in Phil’s chest, his arms flung around Phil and holding on tight. Phil had his arms around Dan’s back, his chin resting on top of Dan’s head.

Over time, Phil had noticed that Dan usually seemed unsettled when he came to ask for a hug. His breathing was uneven, and there was one time when Phil could have sworn that Dan was trembling. Most of the time, though, Phil noticed that Dan was sad. Phil never knew why, because he never asked. Dan, on the other hand, never offered any explanation, and maybe that was just the way he needed it. Phil was happy to notice that as soon as Dan was safely wrapped in his arms, his breathing evened out, and he became much calmer. After all those years of friendship, the least Phil could do was offer Dan the comfort he needed.

Although, he had to admit that he didn’t mind it that much. After he realised that Dan really didn’t have more in mind than friendship, he started to relax and actually enjoyed their cuddles. They had both been out of luck dating-wise; somehow Phil never realised how difficult dating was as an adult, especially when your job didn’t involve any actual human interaction. He had been without a girlfriend for way too many years – it was embarrassing. When he got used to Dan’s cuddling-fits it was only then that he realised how much he had missed human contact. Phil guessed that it wasn’t all that different for Dan. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to talk about it.

Phil absentmindedly rubbed his hands over Dan’s back. Before he could think on his current situation some more, Dan had disentangled himself, leaning back on the sofa next to Phil.

Phil blinked, missing the warmth against his chest. Dan had pulled his mobile out of his pocket, scrolling through one of his feeds. Phil turned around to grab his laptop.

They didn’t say anything to each other. They actually ignored each other until Phil’s stomach made a very distinct grumbling sound, and they decided to order pizza.

*

The days had gone by with both being mostly occupied by unpacking their stuff. Phil had, however, insisted on squeezing in a live show. He had made Dan join him, threatening to mess up Dan’s newly organised sock drawer. Dan liked his socks to be organised, even though they were all black and Phil couldn’t tell one from the other.

So Dan had relented, and they did have a great time chatting with their audience. Afterwards, Phil had felt so cheered up that he went up to the kitchen and started unpacking utensils and crockery. He had decided that they should stop living off take away right that night.

When they had first looked at the flat Phil hadn’t been all too sure about the kitchen; it was located so awkwardly between the living room and the dining room that he thought it would be impossible for him to get food from one room to the other without spilling at least half of it and ruining the carpet. But Dan had been reasonable about this; their new kitchen was bigger than the old one, and they could easily fit another small table in there. Plus, it would be much more fun to make Halloween or Easter baking videos there, as this kitchen offered more space to fit an actual tripod and a soft box in there.

It was still a gloomy place, with just one tiny window in the corner. The light shining through didn’t even reach the whole room. It was still more eerie during the night, but Phil was cheerfully humming the theme tune of Yuri on Ice while peering into the boxes strewn across the floor.

“Phil?”

Phil turned around and saw Dan standing in the doorframe. He looked awkwardly at the floor, his arms slightly extended from his body.

Phil really should have known. It still annoyed him that Dan chose this exact moment. He really did want to get a move on with their unpacking.

His annoyance must have shown on his face when he extended his left arm. Dan had looked up from the floor, and his gaze changed from somewhat hopeful to ashamed. He still walk over to Phil, but he just rested his head heavily on Phil’s shoulder, his arms dangling useless at his sides.

Phil immediately felt sorry, and he wrapped his left arm around Dan, giving him a reassuring pat on the back.

They stayed like this for a while. Phil angled his head to rest his cheek on Dan’s head. His hair smelt faintly of mint and marshmallows. Phil suddenly wondered whether they had any snacks left in one of their many boxes. He really could do with some mini marshmallows now.

“Is this weird?”

Phil almost jumped when Dan spoke up. He raised his head, but Dan didn’t look up at him.

“What?”

“I mean this,” Dan made a swishing motion with his arms, a motion which seemed to indicate everything and nothing, Phil wasn’t sure.

“What do you mean?”

Dan gave a heavy sigh, like Phil was the most daft person in the whole wide world, but he still didn’t look up.

“Oh, you mean, err, this?” Phil made an awkward gesture between the two. Of course Dan meant the cuddling thing. It just didn’t make sense that out of all the moments Dan could have chosen to talk about this, after all those years, he decided that now was the right time.

Phil’s cheeks turned pink. He had, quite frankly, hoped that they wouldn’t have to talk about this at all. He didn’t really know what there was to talk about. They were just two best friends who liked to share a hug from time to time. There was nothing weird about this.

“Well, err, not really,” Dan said. Phil’s brows furrowed.

“Then what do you mean?”

Dan didn’t immediately answer. He squirmed slightly under Phil’s arm.

“I mean, is it weird that we still live together?”

Phil’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “What? No!” he said. “Where did that come from?”

Dan mumbled something in response that Phil couldn’t hear.

“What did you say?”

Dan took a deep breath before he said, “There was this comment on your live show-“

“Dan!”

Phil gave Dan a slap on the shoulder. Dan winced and stepped back, finally looking up at Phil. He rubbed at the sore spot, looking deeply offended. Phil didn’t really care.

“What was that for?”

“That was for being an idiot,” Phil said tartly.

“You don’t even know what that comment said!”

Phil just crossed his arms in front of him and raised a challenging eyebrow. Dan pouted at him, still rubbing at his shoulder.

Then Dan faltered, letting his hand fall to his side.

“It said something along the lines, ‘Wow, you still live together do you even have girlfriends or what?’”

Dan wouldn’t meet Phil’s eyes as he said that.

Phil deflated when he heard this. He totally understood what Dan meant. Then again, he still didn’t think that any of this was weird. And he still thought that Dan spent way too much time overthinking that one comment that might question his life choices, or the ones that were downright hateful. Or the ones that made crude remarks on their relationship.

Phil gave Dan a calculating look. They were both standing in the kitchen in the middle of the night, and Dan looked so uncomfortable, Phil thought he might actually bolt out of the room any second.

He sighed. “How many times have I told you that those comments don’t matter?”

“Way too many.”

“Exactly. So just forget about it, okay?”

Phil thought that this was enough to solve the problem. Dan, however, was biting his lower lip, and his brows were furrowed. Dan had done this more than one time in the past. This time, though, something seemed to have hit bull’s eye in Dan’s mind. Phil had to try something else.

“Do you want a girlfriend? Then I think you should reconsider going on tindr. It’s not that bad, you know.”

Phil was surprised to find his voice sounding strange and somewhat hollow to his own ears.

Of course he didn’t mind Dan getting a girlfriend. Hell, he was wondering why out of all people he was still single. And sometimes he thought that maybe someone at Dan’s side would be good for him. But somehow Phil had also always thought that what the two of them had was already enough. It was more than enough for him.

This realisation came so suddenly Phil thought it should have crushed down on him like a ton of bricks. But for some reason, he wasn’t surprised. Not at all. This was just how he had felt for quite some time. This was just what he had known, somewhere in the back of his mind, for even longer. This was just the first time he had formed the sentiment into a coherent thought.

So Phil wasn’t surprised. But it did scare him. Especially when it looked like Dan may get someone who could fill Phil’s current position more easily.

But then, Dan looked at Phil like he just suggested deleting both of their channels and spending the rest of their lives as monks in the mountains of Tibet.

“I don’t want a girlfriend!” he said, his eyes wide like saucers. “And I don’t want a boyfriend, for that matter.”

Phil felt the knot that had been forming in his stomach loosen. He knew he shouldn’t be that happy about this revelation, but he was.

“Me neither,” he said, hoping that his relief wasn’t too obvious on his face. “Then what’s the problem?”

Dan was opening his mouth to say something, but Phil didn’t let that happen.

“This,” he said, stepping forward and pulling Dan roughly into a hug, “is not weird. Not if it doesn’t feel like it.”

Dan was grumbling something into Phil’s shoulder, waving his arms around frantically to get away from Phil to retort something, but Phil wouldn’t budge.

Eventually, Dan resigned. He brought up his arms to fold them loosely around Phil’s waist.

“Okay,” he said, his voice muffled by the fabric of Phil’s t-shirt. Phil smiled triumphantly into Dan’s hair.

They stayed like this for a while. Phil felt unusually happy and content. He could have stayed like this for a while longer, but of course Dan had to ruin the mood.

“So the cuddling thing is not weird for you?”

Phil sighed, then loosened his grip on Dan.

“Have you even listened to me?”

All the bite he had wanted to put into the next sentence was all but gone when he saw Dan’s face as he stepped back to look up at Phil, his arms still around his waist.

After a pause, Phil said, “No. Not at all.”

The corners of Dan’s mouth involuntarily jumped up, and Phil watched how Dan tried to fight down the grin that was threatening to spread all across his face. Phil didn’t bother to hide his and gave Dan his goofiest smile.

Dan huffed a laugh at Phil’s silly smile and stepped back for good, both their arms falling to their sides.

“You hungry?” Dan asked.

“Famished,” Phil said. “And I crave marshmallows.”

#dansinotonfire #amazingphil #dan howell #phil lester #phandom #fanfiction #fanfic #phanfiction #Hugs #cuddling #gabbygumswrites #romantic friendship

[cnstrength]

hello

hey yall. 

Decided to make a tumblr to document my fitness journey! Already began tracking my progression weight and nutrition wise so figured this would be ideal to capture the full picture..Spent the past week trying to figure out a name (figured this fits since I’m a neuro kid lol) 

just gonna throw out some stats :

Male

20

Height : 172 cm

Weight : 155 lb

DL : 415 lb

Squat : 315 lb

Bench : 230 lb

Total : 960 lb

OHP :  140 lb 

I lift for strength. I’d say its been about a year that I’ve taken strength training seriously; prior to that was about 3 years of fuckarounditis and venturing through various routines that mostly dipped into mass building territory. At a point around last year, I decided to start a 4 day 5x5 routine due to the immense popularity I’ve seen surrounding 5x5. That I’d say, completely redirected my goals towards strength. There was something addictive about seeing those numbers rise every week. People started looking at me funny lifting all these weights disproportionate to my body size (they still do, to an even larger extent haha). 

I have a few lifting idols who have inspired me greatly and continue to do so during this journey. In regards to DL/Squat, I look up to Chinese olympic weightlifters like Lu Xiaojun and Liao Hui. These guys are close to my BW and lift out of these world numbers. To think these guys can squat 600 lbs is m i n d b l o w i n g. Olympic weightlifting is a spectacle in itself and I found it incredibly entertaining to watch last year during Rio (though it sucked to not see Liao perform, and Lu losing out).

Lu’s 600 lb back squat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI0L7E_5Qac

Liao’s 575 lb front squat : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKTNjQPgoNE

For bench, there is only one man. ufpwrlifter is insanely talented at this lift and once again, he is quite similar to me in terms of BW so its easy and appropriate to be inspired. When someone who weighs as much as you and can bench your deadlift max, you give em your utmost respect. 

Ufpwrlifter’s 415 lb bench : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l84vmuuuHRg

These guys keep me going in the gym. & the gym keeps me going in life. These guys are a pleasure to follow and appreciate and have impacted my life greatly. 

So after 5x5, I did the famous reddit PPL program. I absolutely loved doing this and did so for a looooong time (a good 2/3rds of a year). After the weights got a little heavier, I basically combined PPL with rep scheme elements of Madcow 5x5 to better handle the big numbers. 

Next? Went on to Wendler’s 5/3/1. After appreciating Madcow’s 5x5 rep scheme so much, this fit the bill perfectly. Upon first reading the routine of 5/3/1, I found it incredibly intriguing and relevant to my current standing. I found the importance of accessory/assistance exercises and thoroughly enjoyed Wendler’s recommended examples before incorporating some of my own. Over the course of this program, my performance in the gym increased GREATLY. I rate this program very very highly.

Now? I’m on my last mesocycle of 5/3/1, on the 1 trm week. I have already performed my deadlift & bench 1 trms and look to do my OHP & Squat 1 trms later on this week. School just started so I’m definitely gonna have to balance that with my sleep and workout regimen (dont look forward to this at all). I’m still deciding what to do next after 5/3/1; right now it’s really down to either Beyond 5/3/1 or nSun’s 5/3/1 (feel like this is the next 5x5 in terms of hype haha). Either way, a new goal of mine is to incorporate more conditioning work into my routines. Finally copped an Inzer belt and looking to get SBD knee sleeves so needless to say at this time I’m ready to take things to the next level. Hopefully I hit the 1k club real soon! 

Diet wise, I was always on and off. When I first started taking my diet seriously, I had focused on gaining 10 lbs (meaning a 3k calorie goal which was incredibly difficult to attain). I wanted to bulk up 10 lbs and then cut back to ~155. I probably gained 5 or so pounds before I gave up haha. Regardless, I am now back at 155 and am using a intermittent fasting + recomp diet which basically consists of a 16 hour fasting period / 8 hour feeding period (two meals a day) targeting fat loss and muscle gain. I’ll definitely go into greater detail in a future post. In regards to tracking, last summer I began using myfitnesspal and I will say, the bar code scanning feature blew my mind. I kept track for a while, then got lazy but overall I feel it did help me watch my diet greatly. Highly recommended for anyone trying to start a diet! Nowadays, I just use the Samsung Health app on my phone which more or less does the same job. 

I’ll begin my blog with a post summarizing my 5/3/1 experience when I complete my last OHP/Squat 1 trms and deloads. 

Wow. writing this up was funner than i thought it would be. Honestly I forgot how destressing writing can be. Gonna try to make my blog fancy and all later on haha (learned a lot about HTML/CSS this summer). Shoutout to Kero One for the chill tunes while I wrote this. 

#powerlifting #strength #fitness #exercise #squat #deadlift #bench

[wildcherrypepsihero]

1-100 please! And have a good day! :)

Holy CRAP! THANK YOU! Seriously, you can PM me your url if you want some asks sent your way! You’re too kind :)

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty much uncomfortable with hand-holding or long hugs/cuddly with anyone but my SO. I’ve tolerated it before for friends who are going through stuff, but I really enjoy personal space. I would be pretty uncomfortable if Marty did anything cuddly with someone else, too. Kissing is pretty over-the-line for me.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Hasn’t everyone? Yes, I have.

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Deafness at will?Like the ability to create total silence. I get overwhelmed pretty easily, and I hate a lot of noises, so it’d be nice to shut it out sometimes!

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Absolutely not!

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. I don’t drink, sorry!

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? He was a douche and was only interested in me for sex. Which was super gross because he was a lot older than me.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Old age. Painless.

8. What are your current goals? I have a ton of goals right now!!! I want to get a cartilage piercing, I want to lose weight, I want to get straight A’s, I want to get a tattoo I want to make new friends, I want to become more involved with my religion, I want to save up for my gap year between undergrad and grad school, and I want to make the most of my time between now and when I graduate!

9. Do you like someone? Been dating the love of my life for almost three years!

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? I’m trying not to hold grudges about it. It’s already in the past!

11. Do you like your body? Sometimes! I’m a lot less mean to myself than I used to be.

12. Can you keep a diet? I’ve never dieted! I’m good at eating well, though!

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I’d agonize over it for a long time, but I’d draft a speech on how important knowledge is and try to talk about acceptance and stuff. The political scene is rough right now.

14. Do you work? Yep! I’m a paid intern at school for English, and I’m a carpenter over the summers!

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Does the entire genre of “vegetables” count? If I had to pick one... Maybe broccoli? I really like tomatoes, too.

16. Would you get a tattoo? Yep! I want to get an Italian worker bee on my left wrist.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? My education!

18. Can you drive? No. My anxiety is pretty easy to hide, but it’s been pretty crippling, too. I wish I could do normal things.

19. When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful? Today! I was really self-conscious at the beach, but my boyfriend was lovely and texted me encouragement!

20. What was the last thing you cried for? My grandfather who passed away a few years ago.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of! I don’t have time to journal or to even write stories on their own, but my planner acts as my journal. It’s one of the most treasured things I own.

22. Is life fun? Absolutely!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I think farting in public is gross and disrespectful, but in private with people you know is totally fine.

24. What’s your dream car? Convertible VW bug!

25. Are grades in school important? No, as long as you’re learning! In my experience, though, when I’m learning, my grades are good. When I’m not learning, they’re not. But that isn’t the case with everyone!

26. Describe your crush. Dorky, cute, kind. My best friend.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? A Book of Bees by Sue Hubbell and Hidden Figures!

28. What was your last lie? “No worries!”

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? Any time I told some wildly untrue story in my youth to seem interesting.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? YES.

31. Something you did and you are proud of? I’ve had straight A’s two semesters in a row, I’m publishing multiple articles in TWO journals with my school, and I’m in the Honors program at my university!

32. What’s your favorite cocktail? I don’t drink!

33. Something you are good at? Critical analysis of language!

34. Do you like small kids? Well enough!

35. How are you feeling right now? I’m really tired.

36. What would you name your daughter/son? Noelle/Phillip. Both named after family members.

37. What do you need to be happy? Marty, a good book, a comfy bed, and a job at a university!

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? At any given moment, I’m ready to punch two specific people in the face.

39. What was the last gift you received? My dad got me a bunch of patches for my bag!

40. What was the last gift you gave? I can’t even remember. It was probably for Marty.

41. What was the last concert you went to? Probably Sara Bareilles!

42. Favourite place to shop at? I like stores like Target! I also like Francesca’s.

43. Who inspires you? My mom and my first professor.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? N/A

45. How old were you when you first got high? N/A

46. How old were you when you first had sex? 19

47. When was your first kiss? My senior year of high school

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? I have a workout, meal, and overall points plan!

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I wish I’d taken my English classes more seriously in high school.

50. Post a selfie. I’m horrible at taking pictures. I’m pretty much exactly like this emoji: (ง°ل͜°)ง

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Marty!

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. UNCERTAINTY.

53. What kind of books do you read? Realistic fiction and creative nonfiction. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for ridiculously fictitious stories anymore.

54. What would you tell your 12-year-old self? Life is going to get hard. Learn how to cope with it sooner. Ask your mom for a fucking therapist.

55. What is your favorite flower? Purple coneflowers have had my heart for years, but a lot of bee-friendly flowers have been growing on me.

56. Any bad habits you have? Maybe it’s not a habit more than it is a symptom, but I scratch at my ears until they bleed and clean them until the protective layer of wax is gone and they get infected. Not fun :(

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? Low-maintenance, low-drama dorks.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? I didn’t even notice this was on here twice when I reblogged it.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? I really hate hot fruit and mushy hot vegetables.

60. Are you in love? Yes!

61. Something you find romantic? Laughing together! And cuddling :)

62. How long was your longest relationship? My current one! Almost three years!

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? These seem pretty heavily based on stereotypes. Three things that irritate me about PEOPLE are 1. over-dramatic, 2. little to no forethought about most things, 3. UNWILLING TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS THROUGH SIMPLE COMMUNICATION.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? See above.

65. What are you saving money for? New apartment things! Cork board, rice steamer, etc.

66. How would you describe your bad side? Stubborn, holds grudges, easily irritated.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I’m trying really hard to be a good person. I still have a lot of really selfish habits and mindsets, but (weirdly enough) my experiences with religion have helped me change them.

68. What are you living for? My lovely SO and my passion for English and higher education!

69. Have you ever done anything illegal? Nope!

70. Do you like your body? See above? I guess?

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? No, I don’t think so.

72. Ever sent nudes? Nah. The NSA doesn’t need to see anything but my fully-clothed body.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

74. Favourite candy? I really like Butterfingers! And Hostess mini powdered donuts, if those count as candy.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @barry-bluejeans - I love all that sweet taz content. There are some other taz blogs, too, but I really love this one.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favorite game? Starbound, right now! I also adore Stardew Valley.

77. Favorite TV series? I love Brooklyn 99 and Parks and Rec.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Uh, yeah! I think I am? I recently got introduced to a really open branch of religion and I’ve been learning a lot. I don’t think there’s a man in the sky who knows everything. I think God is a limited entity that exists in the interactions between people? Like... I don’t know. God is the forgiveness between two people for the initial awkwardness of conversation. God is the need for letting grudges go quickly out of personal growth, not out of charity for the other person. God is the overwhelming sense of calmness we get when we’re out in the quiet of nature. God is the ever-expanding universe getting to know itself, if that makes sense? I dunno. I’m still a little embarrassed about religion, but I really like to explore it in writing lmao.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? A Book of Bees! YES! It was so poetic and peaceful! My copy even had grammatical errors and typos, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the book!!!

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Extremely admirable, especially when it’s in protest of the current meat industry.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Since my sophomore year of high school, though I’ve deleted a few times to start over.

82. Do you like Chinese food? YES!

83. McDonalds or Subway? Subway, I guess? These are both kind of bad options.

84. Vodka or whiskey? I don’t drink...

85. Alcohol or drugs? Neither... Although I would choose pretty much anything over drugs.

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? Been out of state, but not out of country (YET!)

87. Meaning behind your blog name? It started out as a vent blog. I deal with a lot of things through humor, so a lot of my reactions to sad relatable posts would be to laugh and then cringe.

89. What are you scared of? Still uncertainty! Also not a big fan of heights.

90. Last time you were insulted? This idiot from school said that I was a bad friend, that my best friend was in love with me, and that my boyfriend was probably cheating on me.

91. Most traumatic experience? It happened a long time ago, I’d rather not answer.

92. Perfect date idea? Cuddling at home! Or going to a museum!

93. Favorite app on your phone? My smartpen’s app! Or garage band!

94. What color are the walls in your room? Green!

95. Do you watch YouTube? Who is your favorite YouTuber? I watch some youtube. I like Animal Wonders Montana and Dollightful!

96. Share your favorite quote. As a word person, I have a lot of favorite quotes, but right now it is the following: “Some beekeepers recommend continuous feeding of all hives in the springtime, arguing that a steady supply of sugar syrup tricks the colony into believing there is nectar flow in progress, which stimulates the queen to lay a greater number of eggs than she normally would. I have tried it but find it unsatisfactory, and have concluded that it is impossible to trick bees. They know their world better than I do.” -Sue Hubbell. There are so many from this book that I adore but this one is one of my favorites.

97. What is the meaning of life? A good book on a beach with the one you love.

98. Do you like horror movies? Yeah, I guess! In small doses.

99. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Probably loads of times in high school. She was terrified that I was never going to get my act together.

100. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I’m very lucky to have wonderful parents, a perfect monogamous boyfriend, and a passion that I’m good at!

101. Can you keep a secret? I feel like I misnumbered these somehow. Also, some of these are repeats, so fuck it. I’m doing 101. Yes, I can keep a secret, but not from Marty. Thankfully, Marty can also keep a secret.