#I’m dyin yall

[epeltheapple]

Thea - *brings this over to Pomefiore*

Thea - Eat it before Vil finds out ^^

Dino nuggies‼️‼️‼️‼️

*hides in my box of candies and canned food as I eat as quickly as humanly possible*

#epel responds #ive been dyin’ yall #Vil has me on a chicken’s diet #:( #I’m very hungry

[abso-daaze]

I’m dying right now, my mom just barged into my room holding a decked out piece of pound cake and singing “whoop, there she is”

…I can’t breath

#shitpost #im dyin yall #i’m dead #funny as fuck #funny as hell #funnyshit #idk why #laughing too hard #i can't stop laughing

[biostris]

Hope this isn't too dark but can I get some angst with saltbaker who has a s/o who is incredibly sick and on the verge of death?

A/N: YES, god I’m going through these and a lot of them are yall being horny little shits so this is actually fueling my empty brain, and I have nothing but an 8 hour flight and a 4 hour lay over to sit through so this works. This will not be drafted this is just straight fucking RAW, GN pronouns.

:Chef Saltbaker x Reader:

In health and in sickness.

No one had seen it coming, no one even knew what it was. All anyone knew on the Isle was that (Y/n) was deathly sick, Saltbaker was working overtime, and time was running out. The bakery was empty, Saltbaker felt nothing but worry and anger as he ran his thumb under a price. A simply ludicrous price. One that he needed to pay to keep you alive.

“Damn it..” he muttered, a hand running down his glassy face as a scowl made its way onto it. How could this happen, how could this happen to you? Everyone had been showing their support, buying when they can but it would never be enough. He felt like he was failing you. A familiar ding echoed from the front of the shop and he was able to pull himself out of his wallowing to plaster on a smile long enough to appease the masses.

“Welcome, Welcome! What can I get you?” He immediately asked, his smile fading once he realized it was Esther Winchester. The cowgirl had her hat over her chest, looking at him with much sympathy and sorrow. “What happened.” He demanded, voice frantic but not angry.

The lass with a lasso paused. “I know you want to work, to try and prevent the end from coming too soon..” she began. Starting to walk over behind the counter and put a hand on Saltbakers shoulder. “But I think it’s high time you hang up your hat and go home to them.” She squeezed his shoulder and offered a sympathetic glance. Saltbakers Heart dropped, he swallowed thickly as he felt him self go pale. Mouth beginning to dry.

“I..” he choked, holding back a sob. “I can’t.” He admitted as he ran a hand to the back of his neck. Falling back on a wooden stool. “If I quit here, (y/n) won’t have enough money for their meds. And if they don’t have enough money for their meds then I fail them.” He bit back tears. Practically fighting them off with ever inch of willpower he saved for himself.

Esther snorted, her brows furrowing and lips twisting into a scowl. “Ya ain’t!” She shouted. “Yer not a failure, they appreciate every second you spend here. Every penny spent to keep them alive but damnit Baker!” Both of her hands grasped his shoulders and she gently shook them.

“They’re dyin, Baker..” her voice dropped. “There ain’t anything we can do now.” Saltbaker felt rage boil in his system but she had a point. One way or another the medicine would eventually stop, their body would grow tired and stop. He broke down in tears, the searing pain of his heart breaking spreading through his chest.

“What do i do..” he croaked, “you go home to them. You honor your vow.” Esther helped him up. Helping him pack up for the day. “In health and sickness.” She reminded him. Saltbaker paused at the door and fiddled with the ring on his finger for a moment. Tears still falling down his cheeks. He sucked in a big breath before slowly letting it out.

“You’re right,” he opened the door waving by to Esther. “I gotta get home.” And with that he was off. Walking the streets, dreading but also being excited to see them again. As he stepped inside their home he made his way to their room. The steady beeping of a monitor made his heart ache.

“You’re home!” (Y/n) croaked weakly, turning their head ever so slightly to see him. A frail smile on their dried lips. Saltbaker wanted to cry. No matter what anyone said he felt like a failure. He sucked in another breath of courage and quickly went to their side. “Yup, I’m home.” He took their hand in his and kissed it.

“How you feeling cupcake?” He asked as he caressed their cheek. Feeling the sheen of sweat sticking to their skin. “Like shit.” (Y/n) replied with a roll of their eyes. “But happy now that you’re here.” Saltbaker couldn’t help but laugh at their wit. He leaned down and kissed them. Lips in a delicate yet passionate dance as he poured all his love into it, dreading that it would be the last.

“I was thinking.” He began as he gently caressed their cheek bone with his thumb. “That we take that trip to the lake, like you wanted..” he watched as their eyes lit up, “really?” Asked (Y/n). Their subtle head tilt expressing their curiosity in volumes. He nodded and smiled.

“I’ve spent too long cooped up in my bakery. And I almost forgot the vow we made.” He took both their hands to his chest. Kissing their knuckles and arms, wrists and all. “That is be by your side in health, and in sickness.” His smile fell.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you. I just..” he winced, but (Y/n) knew. They always knew. They reached up and stroked his cheek weakly. Dry hands brushing against his smooth skin as they chuckled. “It’s ok. Let’s make the most of it now.”

Not all stories will have a happy ending, some are cut too short. But in their last few days (Y/n) had their husband. A nice view of the lake, and all the sweets they could stomach. And in their finals moments in Saltbakers arms, watching the sun rise on a new day. They knew, just like they always did, that everything would be ok.

#chef saltbaker x y/n #chef saltbaker the delicious last course #chef Saltbaker x reader angst #chef saltbaker x reader #chef saltbaker cuphead #chef saltbaker #cuphead fanfic

[toournextadventure]

No bc I’m like that anom who was having a mental breakdown 💀 I’ll never forget bc how Ridiculous the whole thing was. Like I was in a bathroom hyperventilating in a bathroom trying not to cry and here I get a notification of ebh chapter update and im like “oh shit” and just like calmed down. So bestie you are stopping one Menty-B's one fic update at a time

I promise you I mean this in the nicest way possible, but yall have me dying over here. I'm just picturing someone having an absolute meltdown, and then getting a notification and just being like "oh shit, dead ass? Let's circle back to this later, I gotta read this" like, yall got me dyin

I promise I'm not laughing AT you cause I'll do the same thing, I'll be mid-breakdown and be like "oh shit wait, I got oranges downstairs" and then I'm all good again, so I promise I'm not laughing at you. We all be in the same boat with these Menty-B's

#answered

[bestofmidi]

I posted 2,952 times in 2022

418 posts created (14%)

2,534 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bestofmidi

@fishmech

@windowsninteygreat

@benfoldsone

@kobapup

I tagged 422 of my posts in 2022

#0 - 33 posts

#1 - 31 posts

#2 - 27 posts

#3 - 26 posts

#4 - 25 posts

#5 - 24 posts

#6 - 23 posts

#midi - 405 posts

#best of midi - 403 posts

#fishmech - 399 posts

Longest Tag: 89 characters

#i need yall tob e aware the person who put this gif in the tumblr search tagged it as 90s

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Karkalicious: definition, makes Terezi loco She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo Dyin' just to know the flavor I ain't doin' her no favors No reasons why I tease Her flush just comes and goes like seasons (Four, three, two, Fuck you)

267 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#4

Now remastered in Super Mario 64 soundfont!

still the same midi as before!

341 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#3

Now remastered in Undertale soundfont

same midi as the previous ones!

523 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#2

Black dress with the tights underneath I got the breath of a last cigarette on my teeth And she’s an actress (Actress), but she ain’t got no need She’s got money from her parents in a trust fund back East T—t—t—tongues always pressed to your cheeks While my tongue is on the inside of some other girl’s teeth You tell your boyfriend (Boyfriend), if he says he’s got beef That I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him

539 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

815 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

[notfye]

gonna get high off a zyrtec brb

#I’m dyin yall #molly’s musings

[thefatalmarksman]

The past few days I’ve been feeling.. idk kinda just?? Melancholy. I think the seasonal mood swings are hitting harder earlier than expected and I’ve been getting nostalgic thinking about some folks I was really good friends with and how we just.. fell out of touch. One I talked to every day and considered one of my best friends eventually just.. stopped talking to me. Got bored maybe. Another I had a bad falling out with and it still hurts and I still wonder if I was the asshole. Sometimes I don’t know which is worse—someone fading out or cutting you off all at once. But overall I’ve just been feeling out of sorts, hence why I haven’t been haunting the dash with my usual nonsense.

But like?? I also wanna take this time to be grateful to all the people who have stuck around and enjoy writing with me and dealing with my bazillion AUs and ridiculous shenanigans. I try not to be needy but it’s?? Nice to feel appreciated from time to time and I really do appreciate all my writing partners.

Anyway I’m.. still technically at work but I guess I just had Some Things To Say so. Ye. 🤙

#outofammo #I still have like four hours left of this shift but I’m like.. dyin yall #it’s a Sitting At a Desk day and oof.. ive already hit my wall

[fyregrayfong]

When your sister tell you she thinks you’re going to be the first one out of the three of us to get married.

I’m just like

#I’m forever alone #my two sisters have dating history #never dated anyone #never even been kissed #where tf did this come from #she is crazy #LMAOOO #im dyin yall #i'm laughing #NO FAITH ON MYSELF LMAO

[sapphistical]

Heading into Book 4 of tgcf after barely surviving Book 2 like

#hob #tgcf #mxtx #yall I’m dyin out here #heaven officials blessing #tian guan ci fu

[purplesmmr]

ayo pls pls help a gal out

if anyone knows anything about a moulin rouge boot pleasepleaseplease lmk

i’d be willing to trade something for it or be yr bud or honestly anything

#moulin rouge #aaron tveit #karen olivo #pls help me out yall i’m dyin over here #i love One (1) man so gd much and i will actually die if i never get to see one of his performances

[isa-ghost]

Hooby Heeby Time to Watch Mandela Catalogue

THINK

Ah fuck me this weird grainy TTS voice shit always spooks me

But in that way yall JSE followers usually see me being horny for Anti. Its that Good Spooky

Hold the fuck up I gotta grab me some chips n dip we strappin in

OOH WE DOIN SOME DOPPELGANGER SHIT, POGGERS

Tag urself I’m bighead man in the middle

TELL an authority member about your encounter. Hm no I dont think I will, we’re gonna be besties and do crime

Identify the class type?? Ok so this is some SCP shit now

...Wait I’m thinking of Anti bc of that oh.

THE WAY I CRACKED THE FUCK UP AT “KILL YOURSELF” I WASNT EXPECTING THAT LMAOOO

NAH. NAH THAT FACE AT 2:22 IS STRAIGHT UP JUST SOME WALTEN FILES SHIT NAH. I SEE YOU

Type 3: Slender Man

hey not to be rude but fuck that thing in the corner he needs to make like socialism and distribute that tall equally. to me. give me some tall

VOL 1

Gotta say, the patriotic music in the background of this urgent emergency broadcast message is really fucking funny to me

Can’t use psychological warfare on me if I do it to myself already *that What meme music plays as the camera freezes on my dumb face*

T.H.I.N.K. THIS TOWN AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TEW OF US /spits into bucket

Oh fuck yeah we in that analog horror babieeee

Idk Victim 2 kinda hot

Cesar huh 😏

Cesar haunted house poggies

Am I gonna regret jokingly simping

MICHAEL JACKSON??

OH NO GIRL THAT STUTTER BEFORE THE CALL CONTINUED SOUNDED LIKE THAT FREAKY AUDIO FROM THE WALTEN FILES THAT I WAS YELLING ABOUT A WHILE BACK

I have decided I do not like the stairway cam

New gender unlocked: Suddenly Open Door

O NO CESAR TURNED INTO A FOOTPRINT

“It followed me home, Cesar”

Me, chugging my flavored water rn:

I DONT WANT YOUR PRESENT UNLESS ITS A SEXY DEMON OC I CAN SIMP FOR

...I was mindin my business watching and my Discord crashed. When I paused my Discord came back and as soon as I unpaused MC again it crashed again. Hm.

WAIT WHO LAUGHIN LIKE THAT ITS KINDA SEXY 😳

You cant give me unhinged man laughter I just simp

UH OH! YOU MADE A SERIOUS FUCKY W U C K Y. NOW YOU HAVE TO GO IN the forever box.

When am I gonna stop memeing and start shitting in fear

HEY WHATS WITH AO ONI FACE ASS, NUH UH FUCK YOU BRO

But nobody came :)

HEHE ITS THE FUNNY TTS VOICE IN THOSE MEMES

When the caller has an emergency, contact the weewoo wagon

OH MY MANS CAN HOLD A LOW NOTE GO TTS MAN GO

Do not help a caller reporting an alternate encounter?? Bitch that sounds like something that should be your job. >America moment 🙄

“Nothing is worth the wait, nothing is worth the wait” Oh hello that’s getting saved as an idea for my OC shit later

Toddler stress responses?? Oh we in some psychology now, this my major :00 *waits for the horrific shit to happen*

I THOUGHT THE CLICK BETWEEN THE AUDIO PLAYING AND RECORDING RESPONSE TIME WAS A GUN COCKING FLAKSDF DONT SHOOT THE BABY

SHEEPIES :D

There’s a man in the closet? Its 2021, let him come out. He’s valid

Gonna be real with you I paused here for at least 10 min bc my streamer distracted me with a fart video

*sees hooded smiling man* *and then goes to sleep the end!!!!* HM YEP THATS NOT BAD AT ALL

iM SORRY BUT HOODED MANS EYES LOOK GOOFY ASF IM DYIN HIS SUDDEN APPEARANCE COULDNT SCARE ME

Why he look like a drug addict tho. He want sum crack

Curse my Gen Z humor, this is literally so funny to me and for what

OVERTHRONE

OH HEY ITS THE FAITH GAME TTS GUY WASUP DUDE

Hm that whispering’s not very pogchamp

WELL THATS A WHACK ASS MOOD CHANGE END CARD

INTRUDER ALERT

Who is this man, he looks like he did a crime

This TTS voice sounds like a Karen

Me coping with the creepy baby crying by focusing on how that saturated af pic of the crib makes it look like the blanket is just a giant slice of cheddar cheese:

Wtf is this music >_>

Yeah no I expected the hanging whoop there it is

GOD NO I HATE THIS EMERGENCY BLOOPING BECAUSE AS A KID I WAS TERRIFIED OF TORNADOES AND IT’D SCREECH ON THE TV WHEN SHIT GOT RLLY BAD

OVER 3000 CHILDREN MISSING W H A T

Okay how does all of this stuff connect bc I’m gettin interested and my crackhead hours are winding down

M.A.D

Okay the man in the corner boutta catch these fuckin hands

I am ironically so tired after the busy day I had I s2g I’m gonna pass out soon and some weird shit’s gonna go down in my dreams wish me luck

#mandela catalogue #Isa Liveblogs #idk guess thats a tag now #only other thing ive liveblogged is Sean's Undertale playthrough and NITW tho #tw disturbing imagery #JUST IN CASE #long post

[somewhere-in-santa-feeee]

Newsies as things my friends have said/done part 🐝

Les: I want an edible minecraft book.

~~~

Jojo: Anyways, gtgdo hot non-binary shit 😗✌️

~~~

Race: Yes, “thy gay rainbow” is very good.

~~~

Jack: OMG SMALLS DO NOT SHLAP THE WHALE

~~~

Smalls: Mr whale has had enough🖕🐋

~~~

Crutchie: Woshes deserve everything.

~~~

Romeo: It’s called the mentally unstable bitches for a reason 😞✋

~~~

Smalls: AND IM SAVIN UP FOR A DEBOOBINATOR

~~~

Albert: I LOVE BEAVERS MAN

~~~

Race: I WANNA GET A GAY BEAR.

~~~

Davey: 999

~~~

Jack: Welp, turns out I’m not goin to da doctors.

~~~

Sniper: Nom nom goes the iron pickaxe

~~~

Elmer: Does anyone just *happy gay noises* cuz same

~~~

Albert: Omg Race, Spongebob has a bigger dick than you.

~~~

Tommy boy: Commitment issues be like 😞

~~~

Spot: 🎶when you start to cry🎶

~~~

Romeo: Can’t relate, don’t have a dad.

~~~

Elmer: idk I hate fish so I ran out of the house

~~~

Davey: you can leave when you learn how to spell.

~~~

Jojo: YALL I JUST FOUND OUT HOW TO MAKE AN AIRPLANE NOISE AND IM FUCKIN DYIN 😭😭😭

~~~

Albert: Dab on dem haterz 🥶

~~~

#newsies #incorrect newsies quotes #racetrack higgins #jack kelly #spot conlon #davey jacobs #albert dasilva #jojo de la guerra #elmer kasprzak #crutchie morris #tommy boy #romeo newsies #sniper newsies #smalls newsies #les jacobs #source: my friends

[so-very-small]

y’all ever have those weirdly niche fictional characters that you have NEVER seen anyone mention in a size difference context and just got to suffer by yourself bc you’re the only one who sees how good a giant said character? anyways here’s my list

agent smith

john kramer

please tell me what obscure character you picture as a giant/tiny that you never told anyone about i’m DYIN to know yall’s niche interests

#giant john kramer my beloved..... #i binged all 8 movies in four days #let him be big and gordon be small.... #giant/tiny #g/t

[mekonekou]

uuuugh people please for the love of God get vaccinated. I don't want to be redeployed to the hospital. There's a reason why i didn't go into that work. Your docs and especially your RN and RTs are tired. 

no one will care for your lily white ass dyin’ of COVID if yall keep going like this because compassion fatigue is a real thing. 

it’s really hard to keep feelin sorry for people who die from something that is essentially preventable after we harp on you and everyone else harps on you about it and you turn your back on us and say we’re sus. 

if we’re so sus, how come you come to us to treat you for your heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, hypertension and everything else under the sun? You trust that aspect of medicine but you won’t trust other aspects? 

cuz if that’s the case, then who’s to say treating your diabetes is a load of hogwash and just a conspiracy to get you to inject yourself with stuff that’s not actually insulin but a mind controlling substance laced with other shit? it’s a real slippery slope you’re on and you’re putting your own health and life on the line over the *possibility* of long term side effects. Meanwhile, the actual disease and it’s Delta variant are *very real* and does not discriminate on who it infects. 

You’re not special. You are mortal and a human being. Last time I checked, human beings are susceptible to chance and probability. Perish the “oh it’ll never happen to me” thought, because it can and it very likely will given how prevalent it is right now all over the country. Chances are, your neighbor may have gotten it, that grocery store clerk may have gotten it, that person you typically see at work may have just died the other day in the ICU from it, and you wouldn’t have known it b/c we’re still pretty much in quarantine. 

i am just so tired of this. and now i’m very likely gonna have to go back to working in a hospital when I still got loads of patients outside the hospital trying to schedule an appointment to see me for something else they’ve put off for a whole fucking year or longer because of COVID and they may be getting worse and more sick, but I can’t see them, because i’m now being pulled to the hospital being overfull with patients. there ain’t enough hospitalists to go around and those hospitalists who are working are probably just as, if not more, sick of your shit. And it’s not made better when say a bunch of your staff quit because they just couldn’t take the workload anymore. 

do you get it? do you get it now, how much your actions are affecting everyone else? or do you just not care? because if you don’t, then don’t be surprised when people don’t treat you with care like they should and normally would because they’re probably at their wits end and you’re patient number ### who refused the vaccine and ended up coming for help gasping for air or dying of multi-organ failure when everyone is incredibly short-staffed and doing the work of 2 other people. 

#medicine #covid vaccine #covid19

[trillgutterbug]

Rick for the ask meme :)

thank u for this, i owe you my life 🙏

favorite thing about them LOVE a sad old man!!! love deep trauma codependency issues! love an interdimensional, intergalactic, pansexual slut (goals)! love a drinking problem (mood)! love a labcoat! he was created to fuck me up personally and i appreciate that very much.

least favorite thing about them honestly.......... nothing. in an external doylist sense his character has been so meticulously created with such strong continuity there's nothing i can point to as a weak link, and in an in-universe meta watsonian sense obvs he's a horrific hot mess, but from the safe distance of an observer i just love that shit anyway.

favorite line it's cheating maybe (arguably. and i'll argue about it) bc of context but: "i want a family. can we have a family?" from promortyus. gutting. Important. runners up include: -"i'm dyin in a vat in the garaaaaaaaage!" -"a month from now i'm gonna be making out with all of you in a bunch of red wigs!" -"slurpin slurpin slurpin it up" which is now a thing i automatically think anytime i get near ice cream -"my job here is to make morty happy." -"i was eating and you're dirty."

brOTP the whole resistance days gang, aka clearly his formative and probably only experience making actual friends. (though it should be noted that, imo and surely in rick's opinion, brotps are not mutually exclusive with otps, aka rick/birdperson ftw.)

OTP a thousand years rick/morty. (but rick/summer is a close second.)

nOTP i don't have one! for rick????? aforementioned interdimensional, intergalactic, pansexual slut??? i have to laugh. but i will say that holy shit am i sick of everyone's bizarre obsession with diane. like i get it, yall are desperate for anything heterosexual and non incestuous, but a man's offscreen ex wife from decades ago is not the answer oh my god it's such a reach, pls be less boring.

random headcanon this is a hard one bc i have THEORIES out the wazoo and headcanons about all kinds of different universes' ricks, but having to choose something fairly benign about "c137" rick, separating "headcanon" from "thing that is implied by canon but not technically/yet confirmed" is tricky (impossible, it turns out: i can't answer this without either typing a whole essay, or copping out entirely with something obvious like he definitely had his dick pierced at some point! sowwy!)

unpopular opinion gosh............ so many lmao. largely bc this fandom is Bad on every conceivable level, from the irl neckbeards and nazis (????????????) to the perfectly equal online split between antis and woobifying self-inserters, so it's hard to separate opinions-about-rick-sanchez-the-character from opinions-about-rick-and-morty-the-show. most evidently my shipping habits alone are, in Certain Circles, hugely unpopular lmao but in general there is very little cohesive thought going on anywhere in this fandom, so identifying an opinion as unpopular is fairly irrelevant either way! i guess my thoughts on the weird diane obsession count though.

song i associate with them obviously, and most painfully, do you feel it by chaos chaos, but less obviously: ode to the mets by the strokes, which is the ultimate (evil)morty&rick song for me, and which i listened to on repeat for literally six full days straight a few weeks ago.

favorite picture gif of them the truly embarrassing number of gifsets i've made indicate correctly that i could not narrow down one single fave, but this one's on my mind today:

send me a character

#jesus christ i overthought literally every word of this lmao #tfw ur in way too deep #i've given up even trying to be ironic about anything at this point it's too recursive #r&m #incidentally i am prepared to Discuss any of these points in highly specific detail if queried jsdgnasjdg #embarrassing for me

[mooifyourecows]

deciding on what samples of my writing to use for my application for the daisuga zine is TORTURE

do yall have any suggestions of specific scenes from my fics that just like... stood out to you for some reason or another that you think would make me look good on a zine app??

if so, let me know because i’m dyin over here NOTHING FEELS GOOD ENOUGH