Tumgik
#I’m doing this on this blog a) so more people can see this and respond to it and b) bc I don’t want irl people seeing me being confused lol
ihatebnha · 2 years
Note
what do you mean ‘ uninclusive of your thoughts? ‘ (genuine)
I guess I was sorta just riffing because I don’t really mean any offense by this but, uh… sometimes I think people can be slightly/somewhat/really mean to their anons, even over stuff that’s totally not a big deal.
And it’s not really like… anyone’s fault, per say… but I think anons provide a lot to blogs so… not considering their thoughts (whether they’re thirsts or actual feedback)… can come off as rude.
“Uninclusive” as in… not taking serious, partially.
8 notes · View notes
buthappysoverrated · 2 years
Text
Okay I’m not vagueing anyone I’m just glad I never say any of my hot takes online and just don’t interact with people
But also I thought when people say they’re not here for fandom drama then they’re not? And people can just have different opinions and not, idk, declare war? Anyways I’m going back to my revising fandom discourse is much less interesting than my major
2 notes · View notes
sanjis-all-blue · 10 months
Text
Against The Best Advice | Ex-Husband!Zoro x Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: one bad date and you’re already crawling back to your ex-husband’s bed
wc: 2.1k
•—————•
NSFW - 18+ Only - Minors/Ageless Blogs DNI - You Will Be Blocked
•—————•
warnings: afab!reader (referred to as “wife”, “girlfriend”, and “babe”), light alcohol consumption, zoro is a lil possessive, cream pie
•—————•
AN: I’m avoiding responsibility *jazz hands*
Tumblr media
You impatiently waited outside of the subpar chain restaurant which had previously housed the worst date you had ever been on. An unappealing man with terrible manners was your company for the evening after an ill-informed set up from a coworker. A waste of a Saturday evening was made even more frustrating by the fact that all ride-share services were currently experiencing a surge in pricing.
So against the best advice available, and even your own common sense, you called the one person you could think of: your ex-husband Roronoa Zoro.
He was only your ex husband because it turns out some people just make better friends than partners. You just wished that you realized earlier there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, if only to save on legal costs and preserve a few hurt feelings.
And yet, every time your friends heard about your most recent “sleepover,” you would get berated with love about how you both “needed to move on” and how “it’s not healthy.”
Whatever. They don’t understand that no one quite has your back like Zoro does. Case in point, his car pulled up in front of you right as you finished pushing your friends voices out of your head.
“What kind of asshole picks here for a first date?” Zoro says through the open passenger window.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” you huff, opening the car door, and sitting in the overly reclined seat. You barely closed the door before Zoro had already sped off. Annoyed, you buckled yourself in and fixed the seat-back to sit in a normal upright position.
“What’s up with the seat?” You asked, finally getting comfortable.
“You weren’t the only one with a date tonight.” He said, not taking his eyes off the road.
You slapped his arm, knowing his exact play with dates. You were sitting in the scene of some past sin.
“Hey, I didn’t even get her pants off.” He grumbled.
That relieved you a little. “What happened?” you asked, mindlessly scrolling your phone, plotting the earful your coworker was going to get.
“You texted me.”
You looked up at him, mouth slightly agape. “You didn’t have to end a date for me.”
Zoro gave you a quick look of annoyance. “I didn’t.” He looked back at the road. “She saw your name pop up on my phone.”
With a scoff you asked: “What do you mean?”
“I still haven’t changed it.”
Your hands instinctively flew to cover your eyes in your own annoyance. See, even after you were married, your name was “Girlfriend” in his phone for months until you personally changed it to “Wife.” So, it tracked that it would take months for him to change your name again. Doing him an act of kindness, you held out your hand.
“I’ll just change it right now.”
Zoro dug his hand into his pocket and plopped his device into your grasp.
When you opened the phone, you realized his background was still a picture of you as well.
“You want me to change that too?” You asked, scrolling through his unorganized apps to find the Contacts.
“No, you can leave that.” He said quietly, looking over his shoulder to change lanes.
Another scoff blew past your lips. “Why?”
Zoro, again, expressed annoyance as if it was some ridiculous question. “Because you look nice in it?”
Your stomach tingled with butterflies from his compliment. After you changed the name for your contact information to your first name, you put his phone in the cup holder and looked up.
“Are we heading to your place?” You asked, recognizing the route.
“Got a problem with that?” He responded.
“Nope,” you said, popping your lips, maybe a little irritated that he didn’t even ask.
You watched the streetlights cast waves of shadows on his veined, muscular forearms, one hand gripping the wheel and another on the gear shift. His hands were always a reflection of his best qualities - strong and hardworking and safe. You could watch him drive for hours, so sure of his mastery of the vehicle that he controlled.
He didn’t live far, in this apartment he rented after you split, so it wasn’t long before you were in the elevator up to his place. Once inside, you removed your shoes, and slung your purse onto an armchair. You had helped him pick out most of the furniture because his barely furnished bachelor pad post-split was pathetic.
Zoro asked if you wanted a drink, which you definitely could use, and while he fetched that, you went to the bathroom.
After finishing your business, you washed your hands and looked at yourself in the mirror. An accusatory finger was pointed back at you. “Do not have sex with him.” You spoke, trying to convince yourself of the game plan. “Do not.”
“Can you stop talking to yourself in there? I have to piss.” Zero’s voice called from the other side of the door.
Your ears burned at the embarrassment. Letting him into the room, you brushed past him, hoping he didn’t quite make out what you had said.
When you got back to the living room, there were two glasses and Zoro’s favorite rum on the coffee table. You sat on the couch and helped yourself, pouring him a glass as well.
You were already sipping when he came back from the restroom, and he took his spot next to you on the couch.
“Who was your date with?” You asked him.
Zoro took a sip of his drink then sucked air through his teeth. “Someone my coworker knows.”
“Did you like her?”
Zoro shook his head as he took another sip, his eyebrows knit together. “No, her laugh was annoying.”
You chuckled a bit. “Okay, well, no more dates that our coworkers set us up on, ‘cause clearly that isn’t working.”
He just hummed I’m agreement before finishing his drink and slamming the glass down.
His severe, grey eyes turned to look at you. “You deserve to go on dates to nice places.”
You knew that look of his so well, so you avoided his gaze. “You know it’s not about that stuff for me. We had all sorts of fun at all kinds of places, even the not-so-fancy ones.” Your lips met the glassware in an effort to distract yourself from the undeniable heat rising within you - independent of the alcohol.
“Yeah, but you were my wife,” Zoro said definitively. “24 hour breakfast joints are not first-date material.” You gulped the rest of your drink down and Zoro snatched the glass from your hand, placing it on the table.
You stared straight ahead, trying to remember your directive to yourself, but you could see Zoro’s eyes narrowing from the corner of your eyes.
“W-what?” You stuttered, wiping your cheek thinking you might have had something on your face.
“Get in that bedroom.”
It seemed as if your pussy did your thinking for you, because you immediately stood and stepped towards that bedroom.
As you passed Zoro, he gave you a firm pat on the ass, then stood to follow you. You both knew the routine, to be naked before you even hit the sheets.
When you got to the bed, Zoro grabbed you from behind, running his hands up your stomach to grab two handfuls of your tits, burying his face in your neck. His bare cock pressed against your lower back, and you shuddered knowing he’d be spearing you on it shortly.
Your hands reached up to his forearms, and you turned to capture his kisses with your lips. The sweet rum still hinted at your tongues, but his natural flavor was still undeniably familiar to you.
His roughness was also familiar, as he pressed your shoulder forward, bending you over the bed. You heard him spit into his hand, which then palmed your mound, a half-assed attempt at lubricant.
Barely spreading your natural slick around, he then lined himself up and shoved his full length into you, your body accommodating that which you’ve had so many times before.
The half-moan, half-howl that escaped your lips just encouraged Zoro, as he slowly found his bearings. His two hands on your hips pulled you against him, your toes straining to keep you up as he picked up the pace. The erotic slapping of skin on skin went straight to your arousal, only accentuated by his heavy balls swinging to tap your clit.
Your fingers gripped the sheets of his bed, the thread count much too rough for your liking, but you did like feeling his long, thick shaft stimulating your cunthole as he dragged himself in and out of you.
“Still so fucking tight for me, babe.” He grunted, the gravel on his voice hitting your ears so smoothly. You turned your gaze to the sliding closet door mirrors, where you could watch Zoro pound into you from behind, over and over, observing your skin ripple with each impact.
You looked up at the reflection of his face, still being bounced on his member, and as if he could feel you staring, his eyes met yours in the mirror.
Embarrassed, you leaned forward on the bed, picking your knees up, burying your face into the mattress. Zoro’s dick dutifully followed you.
“Oh, c’mon, I know you like watching me fuck you,” he teased, giving you a light smack on the ass. Conceding, you looked over again at the mirror, choosing instead to focus on the way his hands gripped you, the pulsing of his muscles as he rutted into you, the sturdiness of his forearms.
You couldn’t help the incredulous smile that pulled across your cheeks as you watched your plan unravel before you, a direct defiance of your own common sense.
Another smack seared across your ass, causing your head to tip backward, and you push yourself up off the bed, properly taking this fuck on all fours.
Zoro leaned over you, his pace slowing, and his fingers cupped your jaw, arching your back further. “I can’t believe you went on a date with someone tonight, and then called me.” His devilish tongue licked a stripe up your neck. “Trying to make me jealous, hm?” The dragging of his cock along your inner walls was causing your juices to run down your inner thighs. The hand previously on your hip slid over your thighs, traveling to your clit.
“Zoro,” you panted as the pads of his fingers connected with your nerves, and his lips sucked your neck. He had always been a master at overwhelming your senses, to the point where you’d need to close your eyes to make sense of anything.
“You think you can find someone to fuck you better than me?” He growled, but you could feel the smirk on his jaw. His slow, deep thrusts remained persistent.
“N-no,” you whined, the pleasure of your impending orgasm clouding your head.
“Maybe I should just make you my pretty little wife again, hm? Keep those other perverts away from you for good this time?”
Your eyes shot open, and you bucked back against his cock. His laugh shook both of your bodies, as he straightened up, the grip on your jaw moving back to hold all of your hair.
With your neck craned backwards, your ass pressed against his pelvis, and your hands barely keeping themselves on the bed, you were under his complete control. He yanked you further back, your shoulder blades pressed against his chest. He let your hair go, returning again to gripping your tit. His other hand had not yet left your sensitive pearl.
His lips were right back to your neck, kissing an already raw spot. “You’re mine, [y/n].”
You hummed in agreement, recognizing the erratic thrusts boring up into you.
“Say it.”
“I’m yours Zoro!” You moaned. That triggered the unloading of his seed into you, and his stilted circling of your clit sent you over your own edge. Your walls clenched around him and coaxed as much of his load out of him as possible.
While you both caught your breath, he pulled his softening cock from you and you fell in a heap on your side on the bed.
“Hey, hey, you’re gonna get cum everywhere.” Zoro said, giving your calf a little tap.
Wearily you obeyed, stumbling to the bathroom, knees together, to go clean yourself out. When you returned, you found Zoro already tucked into bed, one of his shirts laid out for you.
You curled up next to him under the blanket, resting your cheek on his chest, rubbing his stomach lightly.
You huffed and looked up at his face. “You gotta stop proposing to me during sex.”
Zoro blushed and looked away from you. “Yeah, whatever.”
2K notes · View notes
gb-patch · 2 months
Note
Saw an ask about an apparent problem of people drawing Qiu whiter than he is and whitewashing. With that in mind, I think you should hold the same standard for Tamarack for artists that draw her darker than she is to outright black. Tumblr and Twitter in general have an obsession with coloring traditionally white/pale characters the complete opposite race or adding details like kinky/coiled hair and see no issue with it but raise hell the moment a poc is one hue lighter. It erases their identity just as much as everyone says whitewashing does but everyone constantly falls back on the "only whites can be racist so changing their identity in art is okay!!" pipeline
Tamarack comes from a German family and is white, so please take the same level of importance when artists "blackwash" her or any other character in your series.
You know generally, I don’t like to use this blog to as a place to act like I’m the best, most correct person in the world and respond to things where I’m simply telling an anonymous person they’re wrong. I’m just someone who has people following me because they like the stories this company makes.
However, this is something that people should know. If our POC players draw our characters having a darker skin tone than they do in-game and/or give them a different hair texture, that’s alright. I’ve fallen off on reblogging stuff on Tumblr but it’d still be liked or reposted on Twitter.
Whitewashing means far more than the literal act of a single individual making someone look white in a fanart. If a trans player wanted to headcanon a cis character was trans, that’s one thing. If a cis person decided to take the only trans character for miles and insist they are, in fact, cis, well that’s another matter entirely. Your experience with your race and your experience based on sexuality or gender aren’t the same things, it’s not a one-to-one comparison at all. But can people who don’t get it at least start to see how there can be a difference in impact here?
The people who are oppressed in this country aren’t hurting you by trying to enjoy the media that most of the time intentionally excludes them. POC weren’t the ones dehumanizing white people in horrific ways. The overwhelming majority of stories and representations of heritages out there have been and still are white people’s already. Anyone reading this who was thinking along the lines of what’s in this ask need to get comfortable understanding and accepting that. And if you don’t, maybe you should find another game because I’m not going to “protect white identities” from being drawn as people of color. In fact, I think it’s actually really nice if our characters are fun and comforting to people of color so much so that they’d like to imagine those characters being included in their own culture. I think it’s strange that someone would be angry about it.
781 notes · View notes
roseykat · 5 months
Text
KINKTOBER DAY 9
Tumblr media
TITLE: Don't bite the hand that feeds you
PAIRING: Seungmin x reader
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever.
SUMMARY: Featuring Seungmin as your lecturer's student assistant who runs your tutorials and possesses just as harsh a personality as he fucks.
TAGS: Mean tutor Seungmin, oral sex (f!reader receiving), unprotected sex, public sex, swearing.
KINK: Freelance
KINKTOBER23 - MASTERLIST
TAGLIST: @kbitties @luneskies @mal-lunar-28 @kibs-and-bits @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung @queenmea604
A/N: this is for all the Seungmin stans out there x
There isn’t any way to work around a more stubborn person. People that you’ve met before don’t even come close to the level of arrogance that this person carries with them. That person being one of your tutors for a class at Uni, Seungmin. For some reason, he always has the time of day to help other people but has an issue with your supposed incompetence in completing a task when it comes to you. 
Seungmin never checks your work, never goes over your answers, discusses your ideas or anything like that. He has a very prickly attitude yet only those needles are only for you. You see the sigh he lets out whenever you need to approach him to clarify something he went over during the tutorial. You see the crease between his eyebrows as the annoyance grows when you ask if he can read a draft of yours before you submit it. 
He never does that with other students. Seungmin is happy to help them, makes conversation with them before class, and always seems to have time for them. 
The difference in his behaviour towards you definitely placed an unnecessary burden on your shoulders. But you’re not one to budge. Whether his intentions are malicious or not, you’re not exactly an easy one to crack, which is why you continued to supposedly ‘bother’ him. 
“Hey,” you approach him after one of his tutorials, hoping you used a good enough manner to not light a fire under his seat. “Would you be able to check this for me?”
Seungmin furrows his eyebrows - not a good sign, and averts his eyes from the whiteboard to look at your paper, “I can’t help you with that.”
“And why is that?” You question. “You had no trouble looking at everyone else’s. How’s mine any different?”
“Judging from your grades, I’d suspect there would be a lot of differences,” he responds.
“I’ll take that as a compliment since I’m one of the top in the class thank you,” you scoff. 
“And one of the top most arrogant too,” Seungmin fires back. “If you haven’t got anything relevant to show me, I suggest you leave. The next tutorial group starts in twenty minutes.” 
Your face contorts slightly, “well since this isn’t relevant enough for you, is it possible for you to check over one of the drafts we have to send in on Friday?”
“Can’t do that either-“
“Then what can you do exactly?” You cut him off impatiently. “Seriously, I’ve been trying to ask you for help for the past two weeks and you’ve only ever given me vague answers to my questions and you won’t proofread any of my work which is what you’re here to do.”
Seungmin takes off his glasses and closes the distance between himself and you, “I don’t help out entitled people like you who always demand things.”
You glare up at him, “I’m not entitled. I was just merely commenting about the fact that you don’t do what you’re being paid to do.”
“And you just keep proving my point as to why you are entitled, because you don’t shut up and you always complain. After every tutorial, you come up to me and ask me for something.” 
“Yeah, just like everyone else and yet, I don’t see you giving the same shit to them as you do to me,” you argue right back with him. 
“That’s because you expect things to be handed to you on a silver plate. Unlike them, you don’t work for your shit with me,” Seungmin responds, placing the cap on the whiteboard marker a little bit too rough. 
“Being here is me working for my shit,” you press back. “You’re just being a stubborn ass because you don’t like me.”
“Well you’re right with one thing,” he sighs.
You roll your eyes and scoff, “fuck you honestly.” 
It took a lot of effort not to just shove Seungmin out of your way as you headed out the door with a fresh stormy cloud looming over your head. Felix could spot it a mile away when you went to meet up with him for lunch nearby after his class too. 
“What’s wrong?” He asks carefully, studying the pained expression on your face. 
“Nothing,” you sigh, trying to let it go. “Just one of my stupid tutors.”
“Is this the same one that isn’t doing his job properly?” Felix questions, remembering the conversation you both had about him a while back. 
“Bingo.”
“You know, he’s probably dealing with things in the background that you don’t know about,” Felix points out, his habit of always giving people the benefit of the doubt starting to shine through. 
“Yeah, pretty sure he’s dealing with ‘absolute fucking dickhead disorder’,” you spit. “And even if he was - even if the worst is happening to him, he has no right to be taking out his anger or frustration on me.” 
Felix sports a disappointed look on his face, “is it just you, or are there others?”
“It’s just me, I swear.”
“Okay, I believe you,” Felix assures. “If he really is as bad as you say he is, maybe just ignore him. We’ve only got seven weeks left, that’s not too long until you can get away from him, yeah?” 
It was easier said than done, because the next round of tutorials that approached in the following week, opened up that fresh wound of just seeing Seungmin’s face and dreading it. All of Felix’s advice went out the gate, almost like it was never there in the first place.
In the end, you simply chose not to speak. What’s the point in arguing with a person who won’t move?
So right after the tutorial, you don’t bother darting straight to Seungmin and asking for his help. He’s not willing to give it to you so there’s no point in lingering behind. As you pack your things up from the table and start to head out, Seungmin peers at you from behind the glasses that you so badly want to knock off his face sometimes. 
He’s not entirely stumped that you haven’t approached him, but he is a bit intrigued. Maybe he had come across too strongly with you the other day - maybe within the past month without being of any help to you at all. Then again, Seungmin isn’t the most apologetic of people. 
“Surprised you’re not asking me to check anything for you,” he projects his voice to you just before you leave the class. 
You heard him on your way out, but what’s a retaliation going to do? Only add fuel to your own fire. Seungmin isn’t the one who’s got something to lose here. He’s just a student tutor who’s clearly got enough competence to reinforce the learning you receive during lectures. At the end of the day, his grades for this class aren’t on the line. Yours are. 
“Y/N,” you hear a voice call out to you, recognising it to be Felix. Caught up in the swirl of your own thoughts, you almost forgot Felix had been waiting for your tutorial to end as he sat in a row of seats against the wall. 
“Hey,” you call out to him. 
“So, how was it? Did you say anything to him?” He asks as you sit down beside him. 
“I just gave up,” you answer. “I forgot that you can’t get your point across to dickheads so I stopped trying. I’ll just go to the other classes' tutorials if they let me switch. Or maybe I can just cross-check my work with their tutor.”
“Geez, that bad is he?”
“The fucking worst,” you confirm.
However, you weren’t surprised to learn that Seungmin’s attitude and behaviour still continued in the following tutorial, close to an essay hand-in date which is what you didn’t need. The only saving grace is that instead of going over the content that you learned in an earlier lecture, Seungmin allowed his students to study for another upcoming in-class test in the upcoming week. 
You spent that time wisely working on the essay you needed to hand in since it was the first due. Then, by two o’clock, everyone started wrapping up their study session. You slot your books into your bag, zip it up, and ready to leave.
“You, come here,” Seungmin speaks in your direction, but you really don’t want to listen. At first to begin with, you were surprised he was even talking to you.
“And if I don’t?” 
“Don’t be stubborn. I want to talk about your assignment,” he replies. He set his bait and waited for you to take it. So you approach him hesitantly from your chair, leaving your bag behind at the table. 
“See, how hard was that?” 
You roll your eyes. Not even a full conversation in and he’s already made you reach your limit, “oh go fuck yourself.”
Upon hearing your nasty sentiment, Seungmin’s hand latches quickly onto your wrist, “what did you just say?”
You look down at your arm in disbelief, then back up to him, his eyes narrowing at you, “what?”
“Say it again.”
“I said; ‘go fuck yourself.”
“Fucking brat.” 
Without warning, Seungmin’s hands grasp the sides of your arms in a flash, backing you against the wall behind him. Out of nowhere, his mouth comes down and crashes against yours in a bruising kiss. There’s no time to process what’s actually going on when you start kissing him back, allowing his tongue to delve deeper into his mouth. 
In the back of your mind, you can’t believe your own actions, but at the same time, pushing back on him also feels like you’re letting some of that frustration go. To take things further, Seungmin breaks away from you for a moment, turning your body by your arms, and backs you straight into the desk until your hips hit the edge.
Your first instinct tells you to lean back while your legs automatically lift so that Seungmin can slot right in, pressing his semi-hard dick against your pussy. 
It gives you the opportunity to wrap your legs around his waist, trying to bring him in closer as you hope for more friction. Seungmin pins your wrists down to the desk, kissing along your jaw and down to your throat where he bites and sucks until there’s a line of future regretful hickies for you to deal with later on. 
“D-Do something,” you stammer, feeling so dizzy from the pleasure that you desperately start to chase. 
“Why should I?” He mumbles into your skin. 
You turn your head, watching figures of people pass by through the frosted glass of the door who could potentially walk in at any given time. In saying that, a portion of you recognises that there’s something so naughty about being caught in the act. 
“Please Seungmin,” you beg for him, feeding into his ego. 
His head rises from your neck, “that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say ‘please’.” 
You didn’t care what he meant by that. All you care about is relieving that itch inside the pit of your stomach because you know that horny feeling will take a long time to dissipate. Nonetheless, Seungmin seems to listen to you when he unbuttons the first two buttons of his white dress shirt. 
His fingers reach down to your jeans, unzipping them and yanking them right off your legs until you’re just left in your underwear, already soaking through. Seungmin uses the pad of his thumb to brush gently over the fabric which is sticky to the touch. It makes the corner of his mouth tug up. 
“Keep quiet if you don’t want people to come in,” he warns before taking his glasses off and placing them to the side of you before kneeling down. 
Your chest already starts heaving just feeling his warm breath fan across your inner thighs. The anticipation leading up to it has you clawing at the desk when Seungmin starts removing your underwear. 
“Look how fucking wet you are,” he speaks from a stance of astonishment just seeing what he was able to do to you from a simple makeout session and some rough and tumble. 
His comment turns you into a flustered mess that is easily shattered when Seungmin moves his mouth closer to your pussy, kissing your inner thigh and inching closer until he reaches your clit. Your back arches in an instant. One hand clasps over your mouth to stifle a loud moan at the heat of Seungmin’s mouth, the other grabs a fistful of his hair and starts tugging. He doesn’t dare hold back; sucking on your clit, lapping up at what he can to make your entire body shudder. 
It never occurred to you that Seungmin is like this. You’ve always made him out to be some rich, entitled, arrogant, teacher's pet with good grades and an outstanding reputation when he goes and does shit like this – eating you out in broad daylight, in public.
Whatever rabid spirit took over Seungmin, it wasn’t stopping him. His tongue dances perfect circles and random shapes against your clit, embracing your thighs quivering shamelessly around his head. 
“Oh my god, feels…feels so good,” you mutter, using every drop of energy you can to subdue the moans into whimpers. 
Not even the hand you’ve been trying to use to cover your mouth is working because when Seungmin keeps building you up to that edge, you increasingly become louder. But that’s all on him for initiating this, not that you’re complaining. Not when your head is just about thrashing back behind you on the wooden surface trying to syphon all the pleasure you’re getting. It’s like rouge electricity, a live wire inside of you that has no chance of being tamed. 
“Fuck, gonna make me cum,” you mumble, eyelids already fluttering. “So…good.”
Seungmin heard that as a sign to press his face further into your pussy but kept the same momentum and pace that his tongue uses to make you cum, and when you do, every ounce of pleasure pours into all the cells throughout your body. It rattles you in such a good way, that you forget how hard you’re tugging on Seungmin’s hair as he continues to eat you out through to the very end. But you managed to stay quiet – just. 
Your body unstiffens and your chest heaves up and down trying to catch air. The orgasm was so massive that afterwards, you couldn’t figure out what time it was or where you were. It nearly took out every bit of consciousness you had remaining. 
“Been wanting to do that for a while,” he rasps. 
Whatever that means – not that you can articulate it as of yet. You’re still trying to grapple with reality and when Seungmin unzips his pants to free his cock, you know there’s no point in trying.
He’s big in length and has a sizeable girth. He teases you with his tip, sliding up and down from your now oversensitive clit to your drenched hole. Just feeling how wet you are makes him wonder one thing:
“Are you a virgin?” He asks. 
You’re still trying to regain a bit of consciousness, only able to muster a few words at a time, “no...no I’m not.”
“I pinned it down to either that or someone hasn’t touched you in a while,” he responds. You groan at the embarrassment. Seungmin must obviously be that experienced for him to make such an observation. 
“The latter. Now just hurry up and fuck me.” 
“Shut up,” Seungmin snipes, even though he begins to push his cock inside of you at a terribly slow pace. 
You didn’t realise how much you had been aching to have someone inside you. Your own fingers can’t seem to do the right trick of actually feeling full and satisfied. But now that Seungmin is here, slowly thrusting in until he reaches the hilt, can he make you feel that way. 
“Jesus fuck,” Seungmin bites down on his lip and has to hold onto the edge of the desk beside your body for support. 
He’s never felt anything like it. Even after sleeping with other women prior to you in his past, there’s something about the way you feel that isn’t like the rest. Maybe it’s from the fact that you hadn’t been touched in a while or not, either way, Seungmin can’t contain himself when he starts thrusting properly. 
His cock glides in like melted butter, the lewd wet sounds making you want to hide from embarrassment. But Seungmin revels in it like it’s about to slip through his fingers like sand. So he lowers his body onto yours, resting some of his weight comfortably on you. It’s intimate yes, but it enables Seungmin to start whispering things in your ear. 
“So fucking wet for me, aren’t you?” He purrs. “Such a good girl for taking all of my cock, especially for someone who hasn’t been touched in a while. Just opened up for me so easily.” 
No words could ever spring to your mind in response to that, but it causes your body and mind to have a reaction you’re all too familiar with from about five minutes ago. That tingly feeling starts creeping up inside you the longer Seungmin keeps fucking you. His cock repetitively hits such a deep sweet spot that you don’t think anyone’s ever reached before. 
“S-Seungmin…it feels…fuck it feels so good,” you moan right in his ear, your arms clinging to his back. 
“Yeah?” He chuckles. “I bet it does with the way that you’re clenching around me.” 
Seungmin just keeps finding ways to unintentionally embarrass you, but if there’s one thing that he’s learnt about you and himself, it’s that he likes seeing you so flustered. He thinks it’s cute. In saying that, he doesn’t want to get too caught up in things when the euphoria that has already built itself impossibly high starts making itself known.
Just like you, Seungmin feels too good right now. He’s doused in warmth from the heat wrapping around his cock and the way that your walls keep involuntarily clamping around him. 
“S’too much…” you gasp for air, fingers digging into his clothed arms at this point. “M’gonna cum again please.”
Seungmin presses himself up away from your body but still thrusting at his same pace, “go on then. I want to see your face when you do.” 
It washes over you quickly and he’s fast to clock onto the small reactions beginning to change. The only thing that doesn’t alter is the fucked-out look you have on your face. That remains all the way up until the bliss starts packing its punch. Seungmin’s hips don’t hamper your orgasm, not when he watches your eyes roll back and sees the words to describe how you’re feeling become lodged in your throat. 
“Y-Yes!” you call out, your voice echoing throughout the empty classroom. Your wet walls convulse around Seungmin’s cock, clutching onto him for dear life as you cum hard. 
“I suppose that’s why you cum so easily, huh?” He asks, catching his breath. “Because nobody’s been touching you? Poor thing.” 
Your cheeks burn a bright red as Seungmin continues to fuck you, right up until he’s had his fill. Regardless of how overstimulated you are, he can’t stop because he’s nearly there. His hips stutter forward a few times as he chases the tail of his orgasm, getting hit with it right at the last second. 
“Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he lowers his head, watching where his cock keeps disappearing into and listening to your whimpers. It’s all enough to tip him right over the edge and into a pool of warm euphoria. “Yes – fuck!” 
With a few more grunts and thrusts, Seungmin slows right down as he cums inside you. For a split second there, his vision started to go splotchy. It reminded him of the fact that he hasn’t cum that hard in a while. In saying that, you get to bask in the warm sensation that fills your lower half. 
“Shit,” he gasps, breathing heavily. In the back of his mind, something told him that he shouldn’t have done that. “I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine,” you swallow, trying to dampen your dry throat. “You’re lucky I’m into that.” 
He lets out a breathy chuckle and for the first time, you’ve actually seen Seungmin genuinely smile. 
-
A/N: I’m not going to lie, I kind of want to make a part 2 to this but reader finds out that she’s pregnant lmao
1K notes · View notes
voidpumpkin · 1 year
Text
A Guide For New Users Fleeing From Twitter, From A User Who Needed One When They First Started:
Hi to everyone fleeing from twitter, Elon Musk is shit and he already has had an actively harmful effect on the site, one that will only get worse. So, welcome to Tumblr, it can be kind of intimidating, given its reputation and how many different features there are, I was certainly confused and intimidated when I first logged on and as I'm active on both I sympathise with y’all, so here’s a guide to anyone new:
Put your hashtags in the hashtag section. This is the only way they’ll actually have any sort of effect, or appear when you search for something. Don’t post them on the post itself.
There is a character limit for hashtags and a quite high hashtag limit. Go wild. Writing entire speeches is common. 
Don’t tag lots of unrelated stuff to your posts, that’ll get you reported for Spam and just hated in general
Don’t censor words, users are fine with swearing, doing so especially with triggering content makes it hard for people to limit their exposure to said triggering content.
There’s no such thing as ratioing.
We don’t have quote retweeting, every reblog, comment, etc counts to op’s post. They can see it all, and will be notified depending on their notification settings.
Change your icon, people will think you’re a bot if you use the default.
Give yourself a bio, it’ll make you look like a person.
Follow people and tags, that’s the only way you’re gonna see the content you wanna see. The foryoupage isn’t to be trusted.
Actually reblog stuff, liking has no effect, reblogging is the only important thing here as there is no like based algorithm. Doing so will also make you appear human.
You can hide your likes and who you’re following. Doing so is not frowned upon in the slightest.
You can block tags, similarly to muting words on twitter.
You can have multiple blogs tied to one account. 
You can customise your blog, go wild.
There is no word limit, you can write as you want. But if it gets too long make use of the keep reading feature, (the three dots beside the add gif feature)
There is an image limit of thirty, up from the former ten, though for some they may be stuck at only using ten, tumblr is kinda inconsistent. If you want to add more you’ll have to reblog your own post. 
There is no reblogging limit when it comes to a post, though there is a daily posting limit, go wild, only your followers will be upset.
You can have videos, gifs and pictures in the same post.
You can just post audio.
Adult content is still banned, but actual moderation and enforcement is spotty, especially if it’s written. 
Spam liking and reblogging isn’t a thing. Go wild.
You have an ask box that people can submit stuff to. You can respond or just delete the post. You can remove anon capability from it (which will get rid of most of the hate), or outright bar it.
You can’t private your account but you can restrict commenting and reblogging. Edit: I’ve been informed that you can in fact make your blog password protected, it’s just that it’s a rarely done thing and not widely known.
Block whoever and whenever, it’s not a big deal. Though if someone you’ve blocked has reblogged and added to a post and someone you follow reblogs that, their commentary will still be included in the post you see.
We don’t have muting, only blocking.
Yes, direct messaging is a thing (it’s the little smiley face)
The only way to promote your is through ‘tumblr blaze’, you pay a certain amount of money and your post will be promoted, but not targeted, so no invasions of privacy. You are subject to the employee’s whims on whether or not it gets promoted and unfortunately hate speech has been allowed.
Tumblr has tendency to hide/consume comments, posts and asks, don’t be surprised if they go missing.
Tumblr searching a blog relies on tags, words in the post and the users name, keep that in mind.
Posts will remain after you delete your account or the original post if they have been reblogged.
Years old posts are still circulating and that is considered normal.
You can queue up posts to be released when you’re not using your account. Or you can just post whenever you’re active. Go wild.
Wizards exist and are very popular on this site. Accept it.
There are posts with no notes that will never gain any more than a sing note for your like. Accept it.
There are posts will no op. Accept it.
Trans and autistic people dominate this site.
Don’t get pissy when someone tags a post ‘tw (insert slur)’, or any trigger warning for that matter, most are just being considerate of their followers who may be triggered by such content.
Twitter discourse is regularly mocked, it’s not gonna fly here.
No, we don’t call each other oomfs, or anything like that. We just have mutuals.
Tumblr in general lacks a lot colloquialisms that began on twitter.
We do have ‘blorbo’ ‘poor little meow meow’ etc.
Trying to go viral or trying to corporate is frowned upon.
Tumblr has a tendency to blacklist things tagged like ‘crowdfunding’ so bring that kind of logic you use for twitter posts over to tumblr.
We don’t have twitter circles, co-posting, etc.
Tumblr is surprisingly good at recommending blogs.
There are no verified accounts, and your follower count isn't visible. This is a good thing, trying to change it will get you laughed at.
People are going to just make up stuff, don’t believe everything you see and if it’s a claim about someone, investigate it rather than just believe it.
You can edit your posts after you’ve posted them, but the versions reblogged before said changes will still circulate. This editing of the original has been used as a spruce of comedy
If your worried about people seeing your potentially triggering, or even graphic content and they haven’t blocked the tags you’ve used you can use the keeping reading feature to put the content under the cut and post a warning at the top.
And this is quite important:
Stay anonymous and have fun. There isn’t an expectation to constantly expose inner details of your life, you aren’t expected to use your real face, your real name, age, etc. You’re not even expected to be truthful here. Exist however you wanna exist and have fun, that should be the point of social media. 
Also keep in mind that tumblr has its own distinct culture that is going to take some getting used to. As well as a history any user who’s been here a while will at least somewhat understand.
Also I'll be editing the post with additional info and corrections provided to me.
4K notes · View notes
yamujiburo · 2 months
Note
1. You are INCREDIBLY patient when replying to asks. You always politely link them to your FAQ or to your master post. For the bad faith asks, you always are kind in your responses. I wanted to give you kudos. Even though you are well within your right to ignore/skip these asks, you still put thought into your responses. I'm giving you some kind words because I just KNOW it would be draining getting the same messages all the time.
2. I'm a fat person, and I've got a whole host of body issues, but your Jessie really helps with my self confidence. She still sees herself as sexy, and Delia still sees her as sexy (probably sexier lol). I also loved your logic behind the character design: sometimes healing and stability bring weight gain. That in itself has made me feel a bit better about myself. Not trying to treat you as a therapist. I just want you to know the impact your Jessie can have. It's so rare that we see fat characters in a positive light! I do hate how many people have a problem with your design though. :(
3. Aroace James also makes me feel seen. I am coming to terms with the fact I may be aroace myself, and it's been hard. I've always loved James, and I'm grateful you've spun him into a character I can relate to. I'm always all over your blog looking for more James crumbs lol.
I appreciate it! I like to assume the best in people and always answer in good faith. While I wasn’t super vocal at the time, I’ve had my fair share of bad takes on the internet and I feel like those who responded to me with patience and understanding had a longer lasting impression on me and led me to change my mind later. Gave me much to think about. Not everyone’s entitled to that patience but I think there is merit to handling things with kindness sometimes. You never know who’s on the other side of the screen and what they’re saying could just be out of genuine ignorance. Sometimes someone putting it in a gentle way is just the push you need. A lot of the time, I think people just want to be heard and are also willing to listen if they don’t feel immediately shut down.
I’m glad you think so! I love seeing fat characters and I love seeing fat characters who love themselves. Fat is beautiful, fat is cute, fat is hot
Hahaha I should do more with him! Aroace James makes a lot of sense to me given his background. I try not to write ABOUT the experiences of identities outside of my own but I think it’s important to at least show it!
303 notes · View notes
commanderyes · 26 days
Text
The Commander Says Goodbye
I’m not going to lie, I’m extremely anxious as i’m writing this, out of what these news could mean to a lot of people, and my heart feels heavy enough it could drop down my ribcage any minute from now and squish all my other organs. But I’ve been dancing around this topic for a long time now, and I think i’ve finally reached a point where i can’t ignore it anymore, for my own sake.
I hereby announce Commander Yes has come to an end.
As I’ve mentioned plenty of times before, here and to many other people, when I began this comic all the way back in 2018 I was in a really bad, really low place in my life in every sense of the word, and it was a spur-of-the moment decision to cheer myself up, because Path of Fire had just released and my enjoyment of the game had reached fever pitch and I had been playing Guild Wars 2 alone since as far as launch, and none of my other friends had ever really gotten into it. I guess I just, dunno, cried out into the big maelstrom of the community, one voice amidst millions, because i wanted SOMEBODY to look at what i did and revel in the nerdery with me.
And somehow the snowball began to roll and people wanted more and more of what I could do, and I was being actively reached out to, and, well, some time after that I landed my first ever job, I discovered a lot of things about myself, and I found myself in communities that welcomed me with open arms, and many of the people in there have since become among the best friends I could’ve possibly encountered, kindred souls who i’ve shared joys and sorrows for many years and who I can’t imagine living without anymore.
And all the while I kept making the comics, and with every entry posted every week I’d keep having people stopping to comment on them, and whether they were dumb jokes or personal takes on the story, they’d all share how much what I do kept hitting them in the kokoro, and to this day whenever I play anywhere in the game I still get people who recognize me and thank me for doing what I do. It was wonderful, it IS wonderful, and seeing that response motivated me to keep going, because what did still mattered to people, out there.
But I did always say I planned to keep doing these comics until I ran out of energy for them, and I think i’ve finally reached that point.
Because ever since I actually landed that job I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived every other day, so much so that I only have time to work on the comic on saturdays and sundays, and it gets harder and harder to just sit and draw, and at that point it was just more work, and while I still enjoy and play Guild Wars 2 a lot, it no longer consumes my time and attention like I’ve used to and i’ve been having fun with more personal projects, and honestly the direction the story is taking these days does not sit right with me and it’s hard to find inspiration in that, and this might be borderline selfish but every year I find people care less and less about the comics and it really takes a hit to you motivation when hardly anybody responds after you’ve spent a whole weekend trying to squeeze a five-page comic out.
And, well, I have been doing these for six years straight, and I think that’s a good run. I’m tired, and ready to move on, at long last. Let it be someone else’s turn.
But that’s the beautiful thing about this community, isn’t it? Even if I’m hanging up the hat, there are a whole lot of fantastic artists out there, as we speak, still cranking out works of art, deserving of all the attention they can get. And think of all the artists yet to come! For every story that ends, another story is just about to begin!
The world keeps on spinning, one way or another.
I’ll be closing my patreon shortly after this, but the reddit archives and tumblr blog shall remain for people to browse whenever they feel like (or until they both go in flames, i guess, what social media isn’t about to these days)
I still don’t think I ever was that much of a big deal, but all the same, to everyone who’s ever supported me and helped me be the person I am right now, to everyone who’s been there from the beginning, to all the devs of this game that has captured us for nearly a decade now, to all my fellow players and artists out there
Thank you.
See you out there, fellow commanders. Still the stars find their way.
Tumblr media
363 notes · View notes
maximumkillshot · 3 months
Text
I Can't Lose You-Part 10
Warnings: Bin losing it (yes this is a warning), A person is grabbed, cursing, boundaries, Anger in Bin's mind (You will see why this is a warning), Mentions of miscarriage, Things come to light, health scares, yeah this one is rough, anxiety, regression
Pairing: BangChan X Reader
Characters: everyone except Bangchan is in this, Soo, Reader,
A/N: PART 10?!!! Double Digits already!! Well people here we are at part 10. We are going to
ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 
ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.
I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE
Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE
Tumblr media
Previously:
There was comfortable silence in the car, most silence with Minnie was always comfortable. Then Changbin’s phone rang, Seungmin said “It’s Felix.”
Pick it up.” Changbin said Seungmin hit the green phone icon on his phone and put it on speaker, "Hey Lix we o-"
Felix sounded out of breath, “It’s Soo… she’s here.”
Bin’s POV:
My blood ran cold. We are still so far out. '`Where's Y/N?” was all I could get out. This is why I didn’t want to leave in the first place. This is torture. I know Minho is going to do his best to keep her out, if Soo is anything like Chris, it won’t be easy. I heard, “Where’s Binnie?” at almost the exact same time I asked for her. My foot pressed down on the accelerator as I waited for Felix to answer. I heard bickering in the back, one voice very condescending, “I am just trying to--” 
Then I heard Hyunjin snap, “What? What could you possibly want here? To apologize? To see if she’s okay? Well she isn’t thanks to you. Get out of the room now before I have to put my hands on you and drag you out.” That made me feel slightly better. Knowing that the boys are willing to do anything to ensure her safety. 
Felix responded, “She’s in bed with Hannie but she’s slipping, she’s already stopped answering everyone except for Hannie. She keeps on asking for you and I don’t know what to do.” The worry in Felix’s voice seemed more out of anxiety than danger.
“What about Soo, where is she?” I asked. 
“She keeps trying to get into the room, she walks in and tries to say things to Y/N but we form a wall, her voice is still triggering her. Hannie is trying to calm her but it isn’t working.” I heard more shuffling and more of that woman’s voice, “Y/N just let me talk.” I looked at Seungmin quickly and his face was completely different. He looked like he was going into war, just like mine, I’m sure. More than anything… I’m scared. She needs rest. The doctors said so after the last attack, only Hannie and I know. 
The doctors specifically took a read of her heart during the attack, they’re finding that there may be some changes in it. Something that right now may be harmless, or not, it all depends on how her heart responds to stress. Some people die from stress alone. 
They took Hannie out to explain the last bit and he messaged me later. Y/N is looking like the latter situation, the stress so high that the heart pumps too fast for too long and it just… I can’t finish that sentence. Judging by how Felix is reacting, he just seems normally worried. Fuck, I want her in my hands right now. I need her right now. That’s the only way I can make sure she’s okay. Without that I just feel like I’m living on borrowed time. 
I had to make my voice as even as possible as I made the call, to let the boys know, “Hand the phone to Hannie. After that, tell Hyunjinnah if he has to put hands on her, do it. Y/N is still unstable, the stress will make her heart stop, we don’t have a choice Lixie, she could die. I’ve seen it almost happen. I'll be damned if either of them take her from us. They already took her child, they aren’t getting her. Go and do that now, do it quietly, Lix.”
Felix said, “What?” I can tell he is worried. His face always shows any emotion he has, as well as his voice.
He can’t show worry in front of her, “Felix listen to me, if she can see your face look away from her. You cannot show how serious this is in front of her… Do you hear me?” I have never heard my voice come out this stern, I know he’s scared, I can hear it. I’m so scared if I wasn’t driving I’d be crying right now. 
“Yeah I hear you. It’s okay.” I could hear the uncertainty. Like he is asking for reassurance. I don’t blame him. When I read that text, it felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. She is so important in all of our lives. She may not believe it, but us being where we are now, with her; That is proof in and of itself how loved she is and the lengths that we’ll go through to make sure our family is protected.
“I promise you, if you do as I say it will be okay. I’m not letting her go, none of us are, she needs us to protect her right now. I know you can do that for me. You’re so strong Lix, repeat it to me, what do I need you to do?” I tried to make it as honest as possible. A lot of people see Felix as emotional. He is, but he is the strongest out of all of us, it’s his empathy that makes him so strong in situations like this. After all, I was a crying mess a few hours ago and no one tried to console me except for Lix. It’s because, just from looking at the situation, he can feel what you do. Your pain is his pain. That in and of itself proves invaluable for someone like me, who has problems explaining feelings.
“Hand the phone to Hannie, let Hyunjin know that if we need to use force we will.” Felix repeated it back to me calmly. 
“Good job Lix, hand the phone over.” I was trying to sound as strong as I possibly could. In reality, I feel like I am going into this blind. I know that I’ve seen it before. That doesn’t change the fear that is plaguing me right now. “Hannie, can you hear me?”
“Yeah Hyung.” I heard Han on the other end. He didn’t sound scared, just calm. Someone on the outside would think that’s great news. In reality, it’s terrifying, Han is only calm when he has to be. So to hear him nearly void of any and all inflection tells me that things are serious. “Talk to me, how is she looking?” I want a full picture of how she is doing> Without that I know I will go into a full panic.
“Heart rate’s 110, slowly climbing. Her skin’s clammy, can’t keep her eyes still, she’d starting to slip, Bin. She won’t stop asking for you. She keeps on looking for you. " He then addressed Y/N, “Anya, look at me please, can you do that for me?” Shit… It has to be bad. Hannie almost never uses that nickname. 
He calls her Anya because it’s his favorite character in an anime that both of them love, they rewatch it together all the time. The minute he met her he couldn’t stop calling her Anya. She loved it, of course, since that's her favorite character too. Her hair had pink highlights in it only to add to the nickname. She’s so strong and independent. It fit her perfectly, in Han’s eyes. 
He’s using that to try to get her to go back to a happy time, not the last time she saw Soo, “Remember that day, Anya? The day I gave you that nickname? In New York?” 
I just heard the smallest, most broken voice, “Binnie, I want Binnie to make her go away. Hannie, can you help me find my Binnie please?” I could hear the thickness of unshed tears trying to fight their way out. Hearing her made my eyes wince reflexively. She’s regressing, sounding more like a child by the minute. The pain is literally shocking her back to a time where she had no idea how to handle the pain, but people could help, when she was a child. It was the same thing that happened in the last attack. It’s her brain trying to protect her. 
“Put me on speaker, Hannie.” After I heard some shuffling and what sounded like someone tapping on the phone I said, “Angel?”
“Binnie, where are you?” Just hearing her say that name with that tone, it ripped my heart out. She sounded like she was shrinking, I could sense it in her tone, the way she was holding on to the present.
“I was getting your brownies for you.” I used a lighter tone. I always did with her, I couldn’t help it. The fondness I hold for her constricts my vocal cords, sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe around her, not from being suffocated but from being struck by how gorgeous she is. No matter what, even after Chris married her, she always came to me for comfort. Even when we're watching horror movies, she would hold on to me and hide behind my upper arm, gripping my biceps like they had the antidote, the solution. She would hold me like I was going to chase away the monsters on the screen. That reminded me that this time I wasn’t there to chase away the monster, and I felt rage at that, rage and fear.
“Oh yeah… you’re coming back? M’scared.” That tone. She was slipping again, just my luck that right when she said that is when we hit a red light. I looked at Seungmin and he nodded, I blew right through the light. “Make her go away, Binnie, she’s saying mean things,” I started to hear her voice crack, I could see her shrinking in my mind. Trying to make herself as small as possible, trying not to get hurt. Tears started forming in my eyes as I heard her.
“I am almost there, okay Angel? I’m going to make sure she doesn’t come near you ... Can you tell me where MinMin is, Angel?” This question served two purposes. It both keeps her grounded and it gives me a gauge of where I am needed more. Right now I need to know if I need to blow by Soo to protect Y/N, talk her out of a flashback, or if I can deal with Soo personally. All of it hinges on Minho.
“He… He… MinMin?” I heard her ask. I could hear the fear laced in her tone. That tone makes me want to hide her from everyone and everything. 
 Then I heard a soothing tone of voice, “I’m here Beautiful, don’t worry.” It was Minho. That allowed me to breathe for a second. I know Soo won’t touch her.
She answered me,“He’s at the door… Keeping…” I could hear more of a little scuffle, shifting around, sneakers on a concrete floor, talking… But nothing from her.  The closer I listened the more I heard.
“I just want to make sure she’s okay, I’m still her best friend.” I heard Soo say.
Hyunjin fired back with, “No you’re not her best friend. We are her best friends and unlike you, we won’t stab her in the back. Funny how best friends aren’t supposed to do that.”
“Hannie what’s happening?” I couldn’t help the uptick in my anxiety. If I could just look at her, if she could see me and I could see her maybe it’d give me more time. But I can’t, it’s too dark. No matter what I did, whatever solutions I was coming up with it all came down to time I didn’t have to get to her. The threat is there now. Here I am so far away. 
“She’s staring off.” I heard Han and my stomach dropped. 
“Angel? Are you there? Keep talking to me…” I am trying so hard not to add to the chaos. I am doing everything to breathe normally, stay calm. I am struggling, I want her to be safe, that's all I ever wanted, I just wanted her happy and safe. 
“Binnie… why did this happen?” She said, in a very calm tone. That scared me as I am sure Han is watching the heart monitor. I had to snap her out of it. I’m 10 minutes away. I’ll make it in 5. “Hey Angel, let me ask you a question.” I said as I cut through a deserted parking lot, avoiding another light. 
“Yes?” She was close to the phone but so far away in her mind. I was semi- ecstatic that she answered me, usually that isn’t the case. I could hear the disorientation. I had to get her back to the here and now.
“You always wanted to go to Nami Island to take pictures, right?” I asked.
“Yeah! The trees are amazing in spring! And they have snowmen cakes around this time! Every season is so gorgeous.” I could hear some excitement, but overall monotone. It was similar to the voice she’d use when Chris made a promise that she knew he wouldn’t keep. Like she’s already over the thought of what was said was actually going to happen. 
I giggled, “Ok how about when things calm down we go to Nami Island, then? And as soon as the seasons change and Nami Island is at its peak I’ll take you again.” 
“Really?! You’d take me?” It was almost like her mind had to take the time out to realize that I am not Chris and that when I tell her something, that I will do it. That made me feel so sad for her. No one should go through what she went through. 
“Sweetheart, I will take you anywhere all you have to do is say the word.” I said honestly. That’s how it’s always been. Whenever she wanted to go out she wouldn’t go to Chris, he’d get mad for being disturbed, she told me. She hated going out alone though. One day I walked by their room to hear her ask meekly and he told her that his answer won’t change, he had no time for her. I continued to the kitchen and instead of reaching for the preworkout, I looked for any reason to call her over. When I did, I called her over. I could tell she was crying so I just opened my arms, asking what’s wrong. 
“You have been through so much, I just want to see you do what you love, without worry. We can be there as long as you want, okay?” I told her. I already know that I am not going anywhere without her for a long time. Fuck going to the studio. Fuck the 3 hour long dance practices, that is not a things at this point. I know that Chris is going to do anything he can to get to her alone. He is smart, that much is apparent. He’s definitely not going to let her go easily. I can feel my hands subconsciously tightening on the wheel. Just by what I heard from the kitchen minutes ago, he thinks that she belongs to him, that is some fucked up archaic shit. She is her own person. Her own beautiful, loving, caring person. She deserves to be treated as such.
“Thank you, Binnie,” I could hear her tone still small, but excited slightly. 
“Anything for you, Angel.” I don’t think she realizes that I will literally do anything for her. I’d give all of this up. Hell I am still trying to convince myself to stay on this team, I can’t see myself being in a room with Chris again, yet I am expected to somehow cohabitate with him. I can feel the saliva build in my mouth as my intestines twist. I’d do anything to keep her safe, happy. To let her know that she’s loved. 
“She wasn’t taking care of him…. Not the way I could, look at her! She can’t even handle her best friend talking to her!” I heard the sarcasm spew from Soo’s mouth. It made rage build in my stomach. Then I heard Hyunjin again, “You are fucking delusional to think that you are in any league near Y/N. You are a spineless cretin, she’s a caring person. A person who loved you like a sister. The only person who could look at a piece of shit like you and find something good in them.” I couldn’t help the smirk on my face from hearing Hyunjin reading her for filth. “The only reason why she can’t ‘handle’ a waste of space like you is because you did this to her. You broke her along with Chris!”
“Are you coming here soon?” I heard her whimpering as I continued to break every speed limit known to man, “she won’t leave me alone. Make her go away. She’s saying things,” I could hear the shake in her voice. She is trying so hard to stay here in the present.
“Angel, I am one minute away as soon as I get there, I’m going to make her go away. Minnie’s going to come in and take care of you while I make sure she’s gone, okay?” I tried to fight the shaking in my voice, but I can't help it. 
“You’re coming back to me after?” She asked.
“Absolutely, I will be right next to you, sounds good, Angel?” I asked. Being next to her always made me feel like I was home. It was the weirdest sensation whenever we were on tour or anything like that. I never got to see here daily, which was also torturous. I hated it. It wasn’t like I could call her daily either, it was more of a reminder than anything that I am just a friend, not her husband. Being next to her is where I belong. I feel it in my bones. Just thinking about being next to her is soothing to me. 
“Yeah…”
The next minute we were in front of the hospital I looked to Seungmin and he said, “Go, I’ll park the car. I’ll stay on with Birdie in the meantime.” Thank God for Kim Seungmin. I don’t know how he knows what I need to do. Especially when I can’t even keep my head on straight right now. My guess is that he could see the distress in my face. I immediately got out of the car and bolted into the hospital. I was trying to find the quickest way to her, and to get Soo away. I decided on the stairs since she was only on the third floor. I was taking two or three steps at a time. 
The utter desperation I am feeling is something that I have never felt before. I’ve never cared about or for anyone like this before. It’s like the fear and the desperation come with a feeling like my very being is being threatened. I can’t do any of it without her. I’m not just talking about performing and singing, no, I can’t breathe without her. I don’t want to eat, workout, I can’t function, period. That’s why I have to keep her safe. I’m not just protecting her because she is loving and kind, I am protecting her because I love her. She has my heart and she always did, from the second I looked at her she had it. The minute she laughed she had my soul, she may not know it or care in the same way but I don’t care. I love her. 
By the time I made it to the third floor, my lungs were burning, only adding to the rage that I was feeling. I heard Hyunjin speaking slightly louder than anyone should in a hospital hallway as I speed walked down the hallway. I ran into one of the nurses and told them to call security that the other person that caused it is here. I told them I’m taking her to the waiting room to separate her from Y/N. They nodded. The closer I got the more my veins popped. 
One second she was arguing with Hyunjin just inside the doorway and the next I wrapped my arm around her midsection and picked her up, dragging her out of the room as I said, “Hannie, Minho with me. Lix, check on Angel make sure she’s okay, Seungmin-ah is coming up soon.” Then I directed my voice to Y/N, “I’m here Angel I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 
Soo was struggling in my grasp but I didn’t care. I lift almost 300 pounds for fun, and she thinks that she can get out of my grasp? “Get off of me!” She squawked. All I did was glare at her and say, “You and I are going to have a little conversation about boundaries.” 
The nurses that knew who I was at this point, since I had been there the whole time. They also knew that I’m a sweetheart, but they also knew that I love Y/N so their faces also turned with smiles as they saw me dragging Soo. They probably knew from my face alone that I’m currently holding the last of the trash to be thrown out of Y/N’s life. 
I heard Han and Minho’s footsteps behind me as I walked into the waiting room. As soon as the door was closed and locked I grabbed one of the chairs and plopped her in it. “If you move from there. I will pick you back up and put you back. You understand?” I caged her into the chair. She nodded her head, not good enough. “Oh you had no problem talking shit when I wasn’t here, now you’re all of a sudden unable to speak?” She shook her head, “Then fucking use your voice. You’re so brave saying that she can’t handle talking to you yet you forget that you literally KILLED her CHILD.” I screamed in her face, and she shrunk away. 
I felt Han’s hand on my shoulder, silently begging me to back off I’m sure. I have never been this bad  as I backed off and dragged a chair and sat right in front of her, “You are such a piece of garbage. What were you trying to do by coming here?” I leaned back in the chair, not letting my eyes leave hers. Just trying to remind her that right now, if I let myself, I’d crush her in a heartbeat. 
I heard two more chairs dragged next to me. 
She looked at all three of us as she said, “I wanted to see if it’s true, if she really is as broken as I was told.” I could see the corners of her lips fighting a smile. 
“If you don’t wipe that smile off your face, I’ll wipe it off for you.”  Minho glared at her as I stared at her. I knew that Minho is very attached to Y/N. The fact that he is reacting like this, is a little new. He has always had respect for everyone, I can also understand where he’s coming from. She means so much to us. We wouldn’t hesitate. “You wouldn’t dare, Minho,” She laughed.
“He won’t… too much respect… I however,” I stated very matter-of-factly, “Have a very hard line, Soo. I don’t touch women in any violent way ever… But if anyone messes with my family and with whe people I love? All of a sudden gender is irrelevant… So the next time you speak, I recommend you speak with that in mind.” I saw the blood drain from her face, I felt a new level of base in my voice. The anger is starting to reach a level I can’t control.  
Minho added on with “Usually I’d have too much respect. That was before what you said about Y/N.  About her losing the baby being a good thing. That it’d make the divorce less messy…”
My eyes went wide as my heart dropped on the floor, shattered. When did this happen? How did this happen? I looked away from Soo for the first time, “I don’t think I heard you correctly… She said WHAT?”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Want More? TELL ME SO!
Want in on the Tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!
THE CHAOS EXPRESS 🚂❤️❤️❤️
@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat , @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung , @diddybok , @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, @laylasbunbunny ,@uwuitsjungwoo , @3racha-soup , @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te , @3rachababygirl , @symptoms-of-moonlight , @hiddlestandom , @stay-fr0sty-r0yal-milk-tea , @8rach4, @bear8585 , @tenshimara , @galamxy, @fairlylilo , @skzms, @lolareadsimagines , @lillithathecat , @manuosorioh , @jazziwritesthings , @soulsbbg , @tuskaruska , @emmxxsworld , @maaatyroshka , @orchid-mantis-petals , @thisrandomgoofy15 , @lolareadsimagines , @notastraykid , @ououahahgoogoogahgah , @teenagemoonharmony , @shuuporangporanglinoss , @mrskill2 , @juskz , @felixoasis  , @btskzfav , @notsosmellyellie , @secretlyamagicalprincess , @oddinary-nightmare , @jiimout , @stellasays45 ,
309 notes · View notes
traumasurvivors · 8 months
Text
Here's a link to a blog post on my personal website on a topic that I think is very important.
I've also put it below the read more for people that don't like external links.
When it comes to healing from trauma, there are a lot of emotions an individual may feel. One of these emotions is anger. Anger is one of the emotions I see invalidated the most. For example, I’ve been told that being angry is “letting the person who hurt me win.” I’ve been told that I’m only hurting myself with my anger and that it’s holding me back from healing. All of these assumptions were wrong.
Anger is often viewed as a bad thing because it can drive a lot of unpleasant behaviours but it can be used for good. While anger can hurt you and others, it doesn’t have to. There is a difference between destructive anger and constructive anger. Destructive anger is often expressed in a way that causes harm to yourself or others whereas constructive anger can be used to better understand your situation and figure out your needs. Constructive anger can be a way to show respect for yourself.
For example, if you’re in a situation with a friend where they do something that makes you angry (for example: cancelling plans, forgetting an important date, etc), constructive anger may involve you stepping away from the situation to figure out the cause of your anger (for example: you feel their actions imply you’re not important to them) so that you can then sit down with your friend and communicate in a calm manner. This may allow your relationship to grow and build with a better understanding of each other. Destructive anger in this situation may involve you yelling at your friend and insulting them, which will likely damage or destroy the relationship. If the hurt your friend has caused makes you want to re-evaluate your friendship, this is valid and there are still constructive ways to end a friendship that will cause the least amount of hurt for all involved. It is also important to note that ignoring the anger and bottling up is likely to cause a bigger blow up down the line or cause “overreactions” to other circumstances.
If anger is bottled up, it can end up coming out unintentionally. You might find you’re getting much angrier at everyday annoyances and disagreements than you might think reasonable. People might push you away or respond badly to your anger, because they feel they do not deserve it - and looking back later, you might feel they don’t deserve it, either. However, because of the anger you’re holding back, you can’t see that in the moment. This is why it is important to think and consider your anger, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you. I have found asking questions of myself to analyze my anger can help, such as in an anger inventory like this one.
While many people see anger as an emotion that causes people to lash out and destroy things, anger can also help to motivate people to create new things. Marches to “Take back the night”, or for “gay pride” have much of their motivation based in anger at injustice and oppression. New laws to better protect survivors of domestic abuse or otherwise help society are often driven by people feeling a huge amount of anger. Properly harnessed, anger can help to take action to change things for the better.
On a more personal level, anger can also be a motivator to improve one’s own life. Many people have used the anger they felt at those who put them down as a motivation toward success. That success might be completing schooling, winning an international athletic competition or publishing a novel. One thing all of those have in common is that they are rarely possible to do with only a little time or a little effort. They are time-consuming tasks which usually require months if not years of work. They can be easy to give up on without motivation - and for many, anger is a big help to keeping that motivation.
It took me years to feel anger. For the first while, I felt ashamed, guilty and like I deserved the abuse I’d endured. Feeling angry at the people responsible for this was a step in my healing. I began putting the blame on those responsible and not myself. I was realizing that I did not deserve to be treated in the harmful ways that I was. This was huge to me as someone that had spent years thinking I deserved my trauma and as a result, future trauma and abuse as well.
There were instances where my anger was destructive, mostly to myself. I engaged in self-harm as a way to vent my anger and it also caused problems in my relationship at the time because I held my anger in and would get really frustrated and project my anger onto my relationship which was not fair to my partner.
Over the years, I’ve learned to cope with my anger more efficiently. What works for someone is largely dependent on them and their needs. For me, it was a literal punching bag to vent out frustrations and journaling. It was sitting down with my anger and treating it like a friend trying to protect me (because it was in a way). It was listening to it and finding the cause. My true anger came from those who hurt me, and in a way, took a part of me. My anger largely came from grief and betrayal. Understanding where it came from did not make it disappear, but it did offer me perspective and allow me to better manage it.
For some, anger is a cover up for other emotions. It becomes a defense mechanism against feeling the sadness, hurt and other emotions that a person does not want to feel. The anger is just the first layer and understanding where that anger comes from, and that the anger is a cover up is a great step in moving beyond it. Feeling the emotions beneath it will play a big part in moving beyond the anger.
Anger is a valid and understandable emotion when it comes to healing from trauma, even if your trauma does not have a specific person to blame (natural disasters and death of a loved one are examples). If the person who hurt you did not mean to or did not know better (like another child), anger is still a valid emotion. You’ve been hurt and you should not have been and it is reasonable to feel angry at this.
For a lot of us, anger plays a part in our healing. And that’s okay! You’re allowed to feel angry. Anger becomes an issue when you allow it to consume you and hurt you or others. The feeling itself is not inherently bad, and it can actually be a good thing. Your anger can be used to help you. It’s what you do with your anger that decides whether it’s helpful to you or not. When I was first told that my anger was “letting the other person win,” I believed that and felt invalidated. I have since realized that my anger has been an important part in understanding my pain and my needs. My anger is not letting someone else win, but letting me win, by helping me to heal.
474 notes · View notes
bittsandpieces · 6 days
Note
Your body is so perfect. I’m so jealous and I think I need to go on a diet..
I saw this ask earlier but I wanted to wait until I had time to really sit down and respond to it properly.
This is my body. And this is also my body.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Anon, what you see on this blog is a curated version of myself. My body is positioned in ways that are aesthetically pleasing, which cover up the things that I'm self-conscious about, like my stomach. I try to be as body positive as I can be, but I still struggle with accepting my body as it is!
I don't eat as healthy as I should. I'm always dehydrated despite my best efforts. I'm messy and a little gross and human just like everyone else. The things you see online are curated to show the best parts of ourselves, because it's human nature to want to be liked, and want to be wanted
Going on a diet is the last thing you should do. It's the last thing any of us should do, honestly. In fact it's been medically proven that 95% of people who go on a diet to lose weight end up gaining that weight back, because restrictive diets *don't work*. The vast majority of us are not going to change our bodies, and unless it's medically necessary for quality of life, we shouldn't be trying to change our bodies.
The key, my dear, is to change how you see yourself. Find love in your body. You CAN love yourself exactly as you are, it just takes effort and time! The progress I've made in the last few years is IMMENSE, and compared to how much I hated myself ten years ago? I'm thriving
I still have my moments, anon, where I see things in myself I don't like. I have my insecurities. I see people I think are far more beautiful and perfect than me and I get jealous and sad. But I work to change how I *feel*, not how I look. Not who I am.
I'm beautiful, anon, and so are you. I hope you learn to see that
187 notes · View notes
frillsand · 8 months
Note
☆ Adding a Star to the pile!
Honestly, it was a long time coming. Your actor AU is one of my all time fav AU's I've personally come across, and I always adore seeing what new stuff you've put up on your blog when you can. Whether it be text or images, I love seeing and reading them. You put a lot into it, and I enjoy seeing what you whip up in your art as well. It is a very nice and cute style to me.
I just, enjoy seeing your world building and thought you put into it, through the ask and illustrations you add. In fact, I even watched The Happy Time Murders (admittingly not great in story and way to immature humor for my normal taste, but has its upsides in puppetry and world building) just to get more background and ideas of how you were making this, and boy, are you scratching the worldbuidling itch that was left with me after watching it.
Aside from that, I also relate to some of the stuff you talk about, like your confidence in your art. It is nice to be reminded that we all have those doubts, even when subjectively the art is very nice. It just might be an artist thing, whether you're a professional or a hobbiest, to see how good everyone else's work is but your own at times.
Sorry if I'm a bit wordy, but I just like to gush sometime. I have been learning that I can tend to be a bit quiet on stuff I adore and enjoy, so giving my fave blogs a reminder that there are those like me who enjoy stuff kinda silently feels nice.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
I’ve stared at your words for a while and even now as I try, the words still escape my mind. I can’t help but find your comment very comforting and reassuring to hear that my effort is visible, even if it’s only a hobby. I don’t usually have people looking my way so this is very weird to me, and I know there’s many AU’s to choose from, I’m just glad people spend the time to look through mine.
I might not respond to everyone but be assured that I look at every single comment and will continue to do so until the content stops and we all slowly part ways
732 notes · View notes
jhughesangel · 1 month
Text
YOU GUYS!! i decided to get over myself and just write something super quick! i’m actually so nervous about this so if it’s bad let me know that this is NOT for me hahaha. anyways i did not proof read this because it was embarrassing to go back and try to read it. let me know what you think!!!! if i like writing i’ll will most likely make a new blog for it! also don’t mind the formatting i will figure it out one day. xoxoxo
Three times luke shows yn he loves her and the one time he finally says it.
One
luke walked quietly into his room after morning skate and smiled seeing yn snuggled into his side of the bed. he smiled to himself and walked over to her “hi lukey” she mumbled “hi pretty baby” he took her hand into his and kissed it. “i saw these on my way home and they made me think of you” yn smiled and looked at the bouquet of pink roses luke was holding. “thank you lukey they are beautiful” she said blushing. “they made me think of you” luke replied kissing her head softly. “i’ll put these in water and then we can nap” yn nodded watching luke walk out of the room. she couldn’t help but smile at the thought of luke thinking of her.
two
yn’s eyes hurt from studying for more than two hours. she sighed resting her head on top of her open text book. “baby you’re still out here?” luke questioned as he strolled into the living room rubbing his eyes of sleep. yn nodded and didn’t say anything. “it’s late baby why don’t we go to bed?” luke walked towards the table and put his hands on her shoulders “no luke i can’t. i need to pass this test” “i know baby but-“ “NO LUKE!” she snapped at him “you don’t get it luke you aren’t in school anymore” she said rolling her eyes “yn i wasn’t trying to upset you” luke said backing away from the table. yn suddenly felt extremely guilty watching her sweet boy back away from her “no lukey i’m sorry i didn’t mean to snap at you. you have every right to be upset with me” she had tears in her eyes as she said it. luke shook his head and grabbed her text book closing it “baby i’ll never be upset with you. you work so hard and i want you to know i’m here for you. let’s go to bed okay?” luke gently grabbed her arm helping her out of the chair and walking her into his room.
three
yn listened to the buzz of the crowd at the rock. it was the first game of the season that she finally could attend being so busy with work and school. she looked at her friend who sat next to her “i’m a little nervous” she said quietly. “why?” her friend asked making a confused face. “it’s just me and luke aren’t really public yet and what if someone figures it out?” “do you not want anyone to know?” her friend questioned her. “i do i’m just not sure luke does” yn’s friend was about to respond but she was interrupted but the devils being announced. the game was tied in the third period and yn watched anxiously as luke skated through with the puck and shot it right into the back of the net she jumped up to her feet and cheered. luke quickly skated over tapping his heart and then point directly at her before going back to the game. yn blushed as the people around her cheered. “i don’t think you have to worry about luke not wanting anyone to know” her friend said wrapping an arm around yn’s shoulder.
+one
yn was standing in front of the mirror while luke zipped the back of her dress for her. “there all done baby” he smiled kissing the back of her head. ��thank you lukey” she said making eye contact with him through the mirror. “you look absolutely beautiful” she blushed “stop it” she said shyly “i’m serious you look beautiful and i can’t wait for the team to meet you” luke said. tonight was an event for the devils and this was yn’s first time meeting everyone “i’m so nervous” she said turning around to face him. she wrapped her arms around his neck and luke pulled her closer by her waist. “nothing to be nervous about angel. they will love you because i love you” yn looked up at him and smiled “you love me?” luke nodded “more than anything” he said bending down to kiss her “i love you too lukey i’m so thankful for you” she said pressing her lips to his.
215 notes · View notes
ghouljams · 9 months
Note
So glad I’m finally getting notifications!! I go through your blog like it’s the morning paper 💕
Happy belated 4th of July!!🦅 It’s the only day out of the year I’m patriotic lol. May I ask how crazy our cowboys got for the holiday??
Tumblr media
It is a recent but honored Price family tradition that Soap and Goose almost burn down the barn every fourth. This is Ghost's first year seeing it actually happen.
"I assume you're both tired of having 10 fingers," Simon tells you nice and even, watching you and Soap tie cakes and mortars together.
"Haven't lost one yet," Soap responds at the same time you remind Simon,
"We've got a bucket of water nearby."
"Look we're at least a hundred extra feet from the barn this year, I've got a nice long fuse, nobody is losing any fingers." Soap nods, you nod.
"If you set the barn on fire again you're going on probation." Price gripes sitting back in his lawn chair. You give an affronted gasp and he nods solemnly, "both of you, shit mucking for the next month."
"I am your pride and joy!" You tell him.
"You're a fire hazard," you dad tells you, smoking a cigar on the edge of your safety perimeter. You don't think he fails to see the irony in that statement, but you do think he chooses to ignore it.
"I think it's a deserved punishment," Simon nods, Soap at least has the decency to glare at him for agreeing.
"We're not gonna catch the bard on fire, we've got plennae of room." Soap twists the last of the fuses together and inspects his work. "Somebody get Gaz out of the house, he's going to miss the show."
"Think that's the point," Simon mumbles as you go to drag your last guest off the porch.
"You're both insane," Gaz gripes, putting up more of a fight than you'd thought.
"Quit being a baby, nobody's ever been exploded before." You tell him, enjoying the noise Gaz makes at your joke.
"Ha ha, you're so funny," Gaz drags his feet as you tug him closer to the lawn chairs, "people die Goose, people die every year because of shit like that," he points at your explosive pyre.
"And yet you always have fun when we do this," you roll your eyes, pushing him down into the seat you'd put out for him.
"I really do," he settles into the lawn chair and takes the offered beer from your dad. You're pretty sure Gaz only puts up a fight to pretend so he can pretend he wasn't a cheering party when something unintended catches on fire.
"Alright everyone back up, I'm lighting this beauty." Soap announces, you grab Simon's hand and drag him back to the lawn chairs, sitting him down next to Gaz. His hands grab for your hips to pull you into his lap.
"Watch those hands Lieutenant," your dad barks. Simon's hands fly away from you, raised by his head like Daddy might point a gun at him to enforce the rule.
"I gotta be on stand by with the water anyway," you whisper to Simon, "but maybe I'll knock later?" He smiles behind his mask, eyes narrowing just enough to tell you what you already knew as he takes your hand in his.
"Doors always open." There's unspoken "for you" that settles between you two. Simon presses your knuckles against his mask, gentle and affectionate. He doesn't let anyone else into his private space as readily as he does you. Even Soap still knocks.
Speaking of Soap. The man of the hour strikes a hot match and lights the first fuse, jogging over to safety with the rest of you. He gives you a thumbs up.
The first mortar ignights and shoots a stream of blue into the sky. The loud bang-pop of the explosion echoing in your ribs. The flower of sparks fizzles and another shoots up behind it. Then a cake goes off and sparks fly like feathers shoot a high train that almost instantly ignights the next mortar to send more pops into the sky. Another jet of purple sparks from the cake sets off a Roman candle. The 'tump' of it shooting flares up is offset by the crackling of another fuse burning and-
"That's not supposed to happen," Soap mumbles, watching two more mortars and another Roman candle light.
The five of you watch solemnly as a flare from the Roman candle soars over your heads and onto the roof of the barn. Simon drops your hand as you watch the sparks try to catch on the tar, short bursts of flame lighting up the roof. Your dad sighs and dials the fire department as Gaz runs for the hose.
487 notes · View notes
roseykat · 6 months
Text
KINKTOBER DAY 1
Tumblr media
Title: Same coin, different faces
PAIRING: Bang Chan x Reader
WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every single potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work and page whatsoever.
SUMMARY: Despite not being together with Chan anymore, you somehow end up in the back of his car...fogging up the windows.
TAGS: pre-established breakup trope, swearing, a dash of angst but also a hint of resolve, mentions of alcohol (neither the reader nor Chan is drunk), a bit of manhandling by both parties, oral sex (reader receiving), car sex, unprotected, sort of hate/rough sex. 
MASTERLIST - KINKTOBER LIST
(This is currently unedited but I will be proofing it later on)
It wasn’t as fun as you had hoped it to be, a party that is. Given it was the end of the semester, people usually prefer to go all out - which they did, but you weren’t feeling it. There were far too many people off of their faces, including your entire friend group that you showed up with.
Two of them were playing drinking games in the kitchen, one of them - Minho, who had completely disappeared for the past few hours, and another one who had found himself someone to hook up with. 
In the end, you were on your own for the remainder of the party. After having found a way into the lounge through the masses of people attending and remained on the couch, watching those around you for a while, you decided to get back up and grab a drink. There wasn’t an entire selection to choose from; either warm beer or cheap wine, which you grab from the latter and pour some in a plastic cup to try and fit in with everyone else. 
The briny taste of the wine was enough to make you think that maybe it was time to go home. It wasn’t fun, interesting, nor a good way to spend your time on a Friday night. Before being able to make the decision to leave, you find yourself planted on the ground when your eyes catch onto a familiar figure amongst the people. 
Chan. Your ex-boyfriend - your ex-best friend at that too. 
It was a surprise to see him given that he isn’t really a party goer, but also a surprise to see him in general after the pair of you went through such a tumultuous breakup a month ago. Things just didn’t work out the way they were supposed to which was unfortunate because Chan is one of a kind.
There isn’t anybody like him that exists in this world. He’s gentle, caring, and has a bottomless well of love to give. Now that you’re not together anymore, you know that whoever he ends up with in the future is well taken care of. 
“Hi,” Chan says, walking up to you. 
“Hey,” you respond back, unsure of how to actually talk to him now. “What are you doing here?” 
Chan sighs, looking at the screen of his phone momentarily then turning his attention back to you, “trying to find Minho. I’m here to pick him up, but I can’t find him. Is he here?”
“I haven’t seen him for the past couple of hours,” you answer. “I highly doubt he’s actually here still.”
He sighs and rolls his eyes, “course he’s not.”
“He probably went to Jisung’s at some point,” you add.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” he replies before his eyes peer down at the plastic cup. “Drinking? That’s not like you.” 
“It’s the end of the semester,” you say in your own defence. “I was trying to finish off strong.”
“Right. Have you got a ride home then?” 
Your eyes dart beyond Chan to ‘your ride home’ who has probably now consumed half of his body weight in alcohol. Chan catches your gaze, turns around and sees Seungmin throwing back another shot with a couple of strangers, presumably his classmates.
Chan sighs once more and faces you again, “don’t tell me he was supposed to sober drive.” 
“He won’t be now,” you respond. 
“Okay well, I can drop you off. Minho’s not replying and he’s probably not here, plus I’m getting tired,” he offers. 
You ponder for a moment. Since Chan had come up to you, you hadn’t felt that sting of pain that a breakup usually induces. Not since the day you both called it quits on the relationship. But that’s only because things were never awkward with him. It’s only until now that you realise how depleting life has been without him. It’s not colourful anymore. 
It’s an issue because you don’t want to be reminded of what you don’t have anymore. Sometimes, the best things can be the worst for us. 
“It’s okay, thank you though,” you decline respectfully. “I might tell the others to get ready to head off.” 
“And who’s going to drive them? You?” He asks with a brow raised then shakes his head with disapproval. “You’ve been drinking.”
“Not that much,” you retort. “I’m not even tipsy, plus I don’t want to leave them behind.”
“Seems like they left you behind,” Chan points out a very good point which you find hard to not be in denial about. 
He takes the plastic cup out of your hand and places it on the nearest surface cluttered with other discarded items. He then returns back to you to gently take hold of your wrist and leads you out of the lounge full of people. 
“Wait-”
“I’m not letting you drive under the influence, end of story,” he decides. 
With that matter in hand, you’re quickly reminded that Chan has always had a strong head on his shoulders and his morals are very clear cut. He held reasonably strong opinions on doing unnecessarily dangerous things, particularly when it comes to you. It happened to be one of the poisonous factors that pierced the final dagger into the relationship. 
The cold air then hits you when you both make it out into the front yard. 
“I can walk thank you,” you say to Chan who forgets that he’s still holding your wrist. He looks down at his hand and releases. 
“Sorry,” he apologises. “Car’s this way.”
He leads you once more just across the street to the vehicle while you think about the fact that you never actually agreed you were going to accept his offer to take you home. In saying that, there was no other alternative other than walking which Chan wouldn’t have put up with anyway. 
The pair of you hop in his car, finally able to catch a break from the blaring music that was blasting throughout the house. After both of your seatbelts are on, Chan starts the car and drives away down the street. 
It’s not long until silence falls quickly. Things had never been this terribly awkward between you both, but there had been pockets of quietness which used to be comfortable to sit in. Now you can see that it’s not as nice. 
“So what have you been up to these days?” Chan asks out of the blue, breaking that silence. 
“Nothing interesting I guess,” you answer blandly. “Just studies and that’s it.” 
He nods, “how’s that going so far?”
“Fine, I suppose.”
Chan lets out a small huff, “you know, it’s still okay for us to talk right? We don’t need to be so hostile.”
The glow of your phone from your lap catches your attention away from his comment. You blink down at the screen and read a text from Felix. 
Lix: ‘Saw you leave with Chan. Please tell me you’re both back on.’ 
You roll your eyes. You love Felix, but sometimes he can be too optimistic. There wasn’t any way you and Chan were going to find your way back to each other. If anything, it wouldn’t be the same anymore. 
“I wasn’t being hostile, plus there’s not much to my answer anyway unless you want me to lie?” You respond back.
“No, I don’t want you to lie,” Chan adjusts his tight grip on the steering wheel. “But you speaking just proves my point on why we shouldn’t act like that.” 
You turn your head, shooting him a well-deserved glare. This isn’t usually how Chan acts. He never says backhanded things as such even though he can be relatively blunt. Whatever subtle malice was behind his words obviously came from the same place that helped the relationship tear apart. 
“This is why we never worked out because you always had to have some degree of control,” you scoff, ignoring the fact that you’ve now doused the flicker of the argument with petrol.
“I was only doing what I though was safest for you,” Chan argues back strongly. “It was never about having any type of control, it was because you couldn’t see what the consequences were.” 
“Then why couldn’t you have let me figure it out for myself? How else am I supposed to learn, when you’re not here anymore?” 
“You, driving drunk isn’t something that you just learn not to do. You don’t do it, full stop. Anyone with common sense knows that,” Chan bites back. 
“I’m not even talking about that! When have I ever driven drunk? Now you’re just fucking reaching for things! All I’m saying is that it didn’t matter how much time I spent with you, I never got to be my own person. It was like I was turning into another ‘you’.”
Chan shrugs, “in comparison to what you can be like sometimes, I honestly don’t think that’s so much of a bad thing.” 
The last nerve inside you, had been struck.
“Stop the car, I’m getting out.” 
“No, we’re nearly at your h-”
“I don’t care Chris, I seriously don’t want to be anywhere near you right now,” you cut him off sharply, not wanting to hear another word come out of his mouth. 
Chan looks over at you, absorbing how painfully angry you look right now and the fact that your hand is on the door handle, ready to bolt as soon as he pulls over. It was fairly obvious because once he did, you were out of the vehicle before he could say anything more. But as fast as you are out the door, Chan is already on the other side to meet you. 
“Don’t go home angry,” he says urgently. 
You shoot him a dirty look, thinking who the hell is he to tell you what to do, “or what?”
“Well can we at least talk then?” He questions, trying to grasp onto some common ground here. 
With as much force as you can muster, your arms come up to shove Chan by the chest, “fuck you.”
He stumbles back a few steps and is not as nearly as surprised as you are by your own behaviour. Never has anyone elicited as much of a reaction from you until now. The shock has you to the point where you can barely assemble an apology to Chan. Even so when he comes back forward, grabbing you by the sides of your arms, and shoving you right back against his own car. 
Before either of you say another word, his mouth crashes straight against yours. His swift hands are quickly groping and roaming in every place around your body that he can reach while you submit to his moves. You’ve forgotten how electrifying Chan can be at times when it comes to intimacy, that you really start to feel it when he slides his knee in between your thighs. 
You gasp against his lips, yelping almost when his hands reach behind you to squeeze your ass and to try to bring your body as impossibly close to his as he can. For a split second, you break away to consolidate what is happening. Chan remains latched onto you, his mouth now working its way to your jaw and down to your throat, sucking and biting into your skin. 
Neither of you care about whether or not he’s going to mark you up. All you care about at this point in time, is the hope that he’s going to fuck you. 
“The door…open the door,” you mumble to him, even though you’re trying to find the handle yourself. 
Even with the unshakeable frame of mind that he’s in right now, Chan listens to you. He pulls you forward with him so that he can yank the backdoor open. You hop onto the seat, pushing yourself backwards to the other side of the car to create room for him to join you. But Chan had his own idea planted already. 
He grabs you by the ankles and pulls you right back to the edge of the seat closest to him. His hands take pride in reaching underneath your skirt and tearing your underwear down your legs. 
He doesn’t even get the opportunity to fully take them off as they dangle on one leg. In saying that, it doesn’t take you very long to click onto what he wants to do. So you help him by doing your best to hike your skirt further up your thighs. Chan decides to take a few seconds to appreciate being able to relive this moment once more by using his thumb to swipe over your wet slit, collecting your juices only to bring it up to his mouth and suck it right off. 
“Fucking missed this,” he speaks for the first time in about five minutes before lifting both of your legs and separating them for his head to slot in perfectly between. 
The fan of his hot breath washes over your skin, already making your squirm forward towards his mouth. It’s been a long time since someone had touched you and Chan could tell. He knows how needy you can be, but not when you’re like this. Not when you’re straining to reach for the back of his head to pull him closer to your pussy. Not when you’re already moaning when he’s barely touched you.
Not when you’re wetter than what he usually thinks you are.
“Y-Yes…right there,” you sigh out and lie back down, waiting eagerly. 
One of your hands threads through his dark hair and tugs every time he sucks on your clit. Shivers of pleasure reverberate throughout your body, already making your legs tremble on his shoulders. If anyone were to drive past, you know you and Chan would get done for public indecency. Except that devious consequence became an elicit far away thought drowned out by your own moans the more Chan continued to eat you out. 
The best thing about it is that he’s not going easy on you. He’s being deceptively rough by digging his nails into your thighs and showing zero remorse when he relentlessly licks over that same sweet spot. The more work he puts into trying to make you cum, the harder he gets in his pants, straining at this point.
“P-Please Chan, hurry,” you cry out, trying to sit up and slide down further into his mouth. “Need to cum, please.”
When your begging and moaning become increasingly louder and more frequent, Chan knows you’re on the cusp of an orgasm. However, as much as he used to enjoy you cumming on his face, the idea of you cumming on his cock is just as good, if not better. So just as you’re about to tip over the edge, Chan pulls back. 
You blink in amongst the haziness of what was about to be a mind shattering orgasm to see Chan who’s head had lifted up from in between your legs. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices, and is completely unashamed about it. 
“You can just fucking wait,” he snaps and begins to adjust your legs so that he makes sure they cage his body at his sides, that way he can grab onto your thighs and fuck you hard and steady. 
Although you can barely see, you hear the zipper to his pants open before he takes out his cock, hard and ready to put it to use on you. You bite down on your bottom lip when Chan uses his tip to tease your entrance. He pushes his hips forward, enough to make his cock slide up and in between your pussy. 
Chan’s shaky hand manages to get a proper hold around his dick, aligning it with your wet hole, and slowly pushes in as the heat begins to encapsulate around his length. The top half of his body nearly falters forward if it weren’t for his hips that thrust forward first. 
“Chris…” you mutter in an aspirated voice, feeling the fullness of his cock stretch you out.  
There is no forewarning for the strength he has behind each buck of his hips. It takes you back to times before during your relationship and how deliciously memorable the sex always was. Chan’s main priority was to always make you cum first and regardless of his own needs and pleasure. Whether you misbehaved or were being an outright undeserving brat in bed, even then he would still let you cum. That’s how much he loved you. 
“Nobody can ever fuck you the way I do,” Chan grits his teeth, his eyes watching his cock disappear inside of you each time he rams forward, hard and fast. 
Every second that goes by, you’re grappling more and more onto your last threads of sanity. It’s hard to keep up and absorb Chris’s stamina and pace - a relentless and unapologetic pace that hits the same spot inside you over and over again until that build up of pleasure starts spreading around your lower abdomen. 
“Make me feel…so good,” you mumble incoherently. “Gonna make me cum.” 
It’s been a long time since Chan has heard you say those words - hell, even heard you moan at the very least. It’s enough to keep his pace steady but he’s very wary of the fact that he himself is already near the edge of an orgasm too. Nonetheless, he’s determined to get you there first once more. 
So Chan lets go of one of your legs at his side so that he can use his thumb to now rub fast circles over your clit. Your hands grip at the hem of your skirt, back arching as you start submitting to the crest of intense pleasure Chan has built up for you. Then within seconds, Chan has you cumming hard around his cock, shuddering, and straining his name out of your mouth as it rings throughout his car. 
“Fuck, baby…” he groans as his head tips back before he starts spilling white inside of you. 
His hips stutter finally, gently slowing down to a leisurely pace while he drowns in the afterglow from one of the most transcendent orgasms he’s ever had. He gives you both time to come down before he carefully slides out of you. It takes you a while to fully fathom what just happened, but you allow yourself to think about it. Whatever it is, it’s not regret. There’s a longing feeling there, a borderline sense of relief. 
Once Chan is decent, he helps you slide your underwear back on even though you’re both fully aware of the fact that he just came inside you. It’s not like either of you were prepared for this to happen. In saying that, Chan gently takes hold of both your hands and gets you to sit up.
“You okay?” he questions, using his finger to hook some of your messed hair out of your face. 
You nod, “yes. You?” 
“I’ve been worse,” he answers, making you smile. “I’m really sorry for what I said earlier.” 
You shake your head, “I’m sorry as well for being so stubborn. I figured that the more hostile I am towards you, the more I push myself away so that I don’t have to deal with any feelings from before.” 
Chan completely gets it, “I know. I thought I could do the same, but it seems that I’m too nice.”
You roll your eyes, “you’ve had your moments.” 
“I definitely have,” he replies. “Anyway, we should go in case anybody just saw that.” 
A bashful sense of embarrassment washes over you. It’s been minutes before you realised that you just fucked your ex. But even so, it doesn’t really feel that way. It’s just Chan, someone who you still have a lot of love for. 
“You can stay at mine, it’s late,” you suggest to him. 
Chan smiles softly, “as if I’m going to say no.”
-
A/N: Yes, I am a day late already to Kinktober - I just realised bc my dumb ass was trying to figure out time zones and when would be the best time to upload for people bc I’m quite some hours ahead from other countries. So I’ll just stick to my time zone, that way you’ll get my works a few hours earlier x
KINKTOBER TAGLIST: @mal-lunar-28 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung @lizzetmv @luneskies 🩷🩷
758 notes · View notes
whatsk-poppinhomies · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing : Idol!Seo Changbin x F!Reader TW : small car accident ; Changbin is momentarily insensitive ; angsty ; but also fluffy at the end ; Word Count : 3.2k Request : @kurolils : i'm not gonna be so specific, my delulu a*s has just been craving angst so much with changbin (my bias) or with lee know (tbh, your lee know imagine kinda calmed that craving), so you can just choose the plot, be free, just please with some fluff... cuz my fragile heart can't take too much 🥺. A/N : I FINALLY GOT TO THE REQUEST! I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT IT, I'VE JUST BEEN FRAZZLED!! YOU SENT IT IN ABOUT 3 MONTHS AGO AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!! Also, the I found the gif on this blog!!
“You’re gonna be there, right? You’re coming?” Changbin asked as he grabbed his keys off the hook, his eyes wide and his bottom lip already slightly jutting out as he looked at you. It was the same thing every time he had a comeback show, and you gave him the same answer every time he asked the question. 
“I’m gonna be there, Binnie.” You reassured him, leaning against with your arms crossed in front of your chest. He was so cute when he was like this, and truth be told, it felt nice to know that he wanted you there, he always wanted you there. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything, plus, when was the last time I’ve missed one of your comeback shows? Hmm?” 
He hummed softly as he thought for a moment, and then, as if a lightbulb went off above his head, his finger began waving in your direction. “The second comeback show during Maxident. You had that really bad stomach bug and you couldn’t even get out of bed.” Your mouth fell open to protest, but he chuckled softly as his arms wrapped around you. “I know it doesn’t count. I was just answering your question.” 
You rolled your eyes although he couldn’t see it considering your face was buried in his chest. “Well I’m not sick now, and I’m going to be there. You have to get there first though, gotta get all pretty for Stay.” His arms were like constrictors, keeping you close and holding you tighter when you tried to pull away from him. “Binnie~~” You playfully whined and you lightly pushed back against him. “You’re gonna be late. You need to go now… I’ll see you soon.” You tilted your head back to kiss him, smiling against his lips when they were against yours. “I love you, now go… Go, go, go.” 
Not many people knew about yours and Changbins relationship, aside from the guys and a few of the staff members that would let you in the back doors for concerts and shows like this, but other than that, your relationship was completely off the grid. It’s not that you both wanted to keep your relationship hidden forever, it’s just that with the group at the peak of their fame, you didn’t want a dating scandal to ruin what they worked so hard to achieve. 
That’s why you’d leave the house two hours after him, just to make sure that anyone who might’ve been watching him would have left already too. You had even gotten your own fake staff card, just so that if anyone were to ever ask, you could say that you worked with them, that you were Changbins personal staff. You couldn’t be more thankful for the ones that did know, they were doing their best to make it easier for you and Bin to be together and you appreciated it more than anything. 
“Is she here yet?” Changbin asked from his chair as the makeup artist finished up what she had to do. It was clear that he was getting agitated, there was only 15 minutes left before he had to go on stage and you had never been this late before. You hadn’t even responded to his texts, you weren’t responding to the other guys either. It wasn’t like you to be like that, and the only thing he could even think to have happened was that you fell asleep. You must’ve laid down at some point and that’s why you weren’t there or responding. 
That thought failed to make him feel better though. How could you just fall asleep knowing that he needed you there? Did you even care about how this makes him feel? How was he supposed to perform without you there? Why would you say you’d be there and then just… not show up? He was pissed. “Changbin, it’s time for you to go out… What do you want us to do if she shows up while you’re performing though?” 
Changbin sighed, going to the door to take one last look, just to see if you had come or not… Of course, you weren’t there. Was he not important to you anymore? Do you not care that he needs you, that he can’t perform his best when you’re not in the crowd? “Tell her to go back home.” He huffed, turning away, trying his best to look like your absence wasn’t literally destroying him. 
The other guys could see it though, they could feel it radiating off of him. His anger, his disappointment, his sadness. His moves weren’t as powerful, his voice wasn’t as loud as usual. The performance in general was weak, and everyone could tell that he was antsy to run off the stage once the performance was over. 
“Look, Changbin… She makes it to literally all of your other performances… There’s gotta be a legitimate reason she didn’t make it to this one.” Jisung tried to calm Changbin down as he followed behind him to go backstage. “She wouldn’t just not show up for no reason.” 
“She was fine when I left today. She wasn’t sick like that last time.” Changbin explained, dropping down into his chair in front of the mirror and ripping the makeup removing wipes from the bag. “If she didn’t want to come she should have just told me.” He roughly rubbed the wipes over his face, leaving his skin red and slightly blotchy when he was done. “I was shit out there… I was so upset! What is STAY gonna think? What is everyone gonna think?!” 
“Calm down, man.” Jisung tried once again, patting Changbins shoulder as he sat in the chair beside him. “You weren’t shit, I couldn’t even tell that you were upset. You’re worrying too much.” He grabbed the water bottle off the table and handed it to Changbin, motioning for it to drink it. “Just take a deep breath, I’m sure there’s a good reason.” 
“She hasn’t even tried to-“ His phone started vibrating on the table, the number unknown, and he was hesitant to answer it but with Jisungs urging, he answered just before it stopped ringing. “Who’s this?” He asked, his agitation ringing through in his tone, but he heard the heavy sigh from the other end and he knew it was you. “A lot of nerve you have to call after the performance is already over. If you weren’t going to come you should have told me before I left.” 
“You’re just gonna jump to conclusions before I even tell you what happened?” He scoffed loudly at your question, and out of the corner of his eyes he could see Jisung shaking his head. “Do you not even care what happened?” 
“Do you not care about me?” He retorted, jumping up from his chair, his irritation fueling him to pace back and forth across the room. “I waited for you to show up until the last minute! You didn’t call me! You didn’t text me! Do you know how I felt?!” He practically shouted into the phone, unaware that everyone in the room was now watching him, wincing at not only the loudness, but also the lack of concern for whatever it was that you could have been saying. 
“There was an accident…” You whispered, and he could barely hear your words over his heavy breaths. “I couldn’t get there… I was trying to…” You continued, and although you couldn’t see it, he rolled his eyes, throwing his one hand up in frustration before running it through his hair. 
“If you loved me enough you would have found a way around the accident to get here, to be here for me.” Now that his back was turned to the wall and he was facing the rest of the guys, he could see the mortified looks on their faces. None of them were used to him being this big of a jerk, and while he wasn’t looking at himself that way, clearly they were. Not that he cared, he was pissed. To him, it was simple enough, just go around the accident, find a different route. He would have done it for you if you wanted him to be somewhere for him. 
“Well I’m so sorry that I couldn’t go around the accident considering I was in it, Changbin.” You shouted back, and then the call was ended. Changbin froze in his spot, his phone still at his ear as he stared at the guys who looked just as shocked as he did even though they didn’t even hear what you had said. He immediately tried to call you back, but it kept going to the hospital line and he didn’t know your room number so he didn’t even know how to get a hold of you. 
“Someone… Someone look on the news or something… About a car accident, a car accident…” He stammered, unable to get his hands to stop shaking long enough to do the search himself. Once the accident was brought up, everyone started panicking, and all the guys in the room, including the staff members who were all scrolling through their phones at once. Sharp gasps and whispered curses filled the room as they apparently all came across the headline story, and Changbin went to Jeongin who happened to be the closest, yanking the youngest boys phone from his hand to read the news. 
A small fender bender had turned into a massive pileup on the highway, and while there was no set number for how many people had been injured or worse, judging by the amount of cars in the overhead picture at the top of the article, he was sure that it would be a lot. You were lucky to have made it out, to have been able to call him as quickly as you did considering how recent the accident had happened. He was lucky that you weren’t severely injured or worse. 
“I need to get… I need to get to the hospital…” The words rolled out of Changbins mouth, although he wasn’t as loud now, and he was tripping over every syllable. His hands were still shaking and now his entire body seemed to tremble as well. There was no way that he’d be able to drive himself there, and there was no way any of the guys would allow him to be on the road in that state, especially considering the news story that had him wanting to rush to the hospital in the first place was about an accident. 
Bangchan stood up, slipping his phone into his pocket and then walking over to Changbin, taking Jeongins phone out of his hand and handing it back to the maknae before ushering Changbin out of the room. “I’ll take you there, you need to calm down first though.” He was trying his best to calm him down, squeezing his shoulder and rubbing his back, but nothing seemed to be working. “Look, you know she’s alright. She called you. If there was anything seriously wrong, you wouldn’t have even gotten a phone call.” 
And while the words were meant to be a means of reassuring him, Changbin could only shiver at the thought of something worse happening to you. What if something worse had happened? “I was so mad…” He mumbled, running his hands through his hair. “I yelled at her… I didn’t even listen… I’m the worst boyfriend in the world…” He was already worked up, but the more he spoke, the shakier his voice got, and it almost sounded like the words got stuck in his throat at one point as he started to sob. “What if she doesn’t want to see me? What if… If she kicks me out of the room? What if she sends me home?” 
“Then you go home and you give her space…” Bangchan said, clearly not giving Changbin the answer that he had wanted. His head whipped so fast to look at the leader, his eyes wide, questioning whether that was something that he should really do. “Look… I know that you don’t want to go home… But you did kind of yell at her and you probably made her feel like shit, and you didn’t even listen to her… She was in a car accident and you… You were selfish.” 
Shit. He was selfish… You probably didn’t want to be around him at all. Should he even go to the hospital at all? No… That question was stupid, even if you didn’t want to see him, he had to see you at least once to make sure you were okay. He climbed into the passenger seat of Chans car and slumped down as he put on his seatbelt. “What if she breaks up with me, hyung?” Changbin mumbled, his hands vigorously rubbing over his face as his tears fell slowly. “I can’t… I can’t perform without her… I can’t do anything without her.” 
Chan sighed as he started up the car, driving slowly down the highway that was backed up still from the accident. He tried not to look at it, but Changbin had leaned forward to look around Chan as he drove by, his eyes widening when he saw the damage that was done, and then a small gasp mingled with a sob escaped him when he saw your car in the pileup. “She’s okay, Bin. You’ve talked to her…” 
But Changbin shook his head, his breaths shallow and quick as his head fell forward. “I yelled at her… Do you see what she went through… And I yelled at her… I’m awful. I don’t deserve her���” He muttered, curling up into himself and resting his forehead against his knees. “How could I… I just assumed… Which isn’t right… I trust her… She said she’d be there and…” 
He was beginning to ramble, his words barely even making sense, he was panicking both inwardly and outwardly and Chan was becoming increasingly worried about his friend. “Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine. I’m not gonna say it will be right now, but… She’s not going to be mad forever.” And Changbin knew that Chans honesty was, although disheartening, what he needed to hear. He didn’t want to walk into the hospital with the hope that everything would be 100% fine, it would only crush him more if you were to kick him out. He needed to he ready for anything. 
Honestly, you weren’t sure why the hospital was still keeping you there. You were fine, well, as fine as you could be, but you knew that it could be worse. You were one of the lucky ones, and all you wanted to do was go home and curl up next to Changbin because, even though he was an ass, he was your safe spot, and you wanted nothing more than to feel safe after what you had just gone through. 
The knock at the door had you sitting up, expecting Changbin to come in when you told him to, but instead the doctor peaked around the door with a smile before coming in fully. “How are you feeling?” He asked, and the question made you roll your eyes as your head continued to throb. “I know, it’s not the best situation but… It could have been worse. You’re lucky.” And you were, you knew that you were. 
“Right… Thank you.” You mumbled, leaning back in the bed and looking up at the tv that was turned to the news station, the helicopter cameras giving an aerial shot of just how bad the accident had been. “How long do I have to be here?” You tried to sound like it wasn’t annoying to feel stuck there, but the doctor could clearly see that you were more than ready to go home. 
“You hit your head quite hard, we just want to keep you overnight to make sure you don’t have any sort of concussion.” You sighed heavily, sinking further down into the bed and pulling the blanket up around you. “The nurse will be around in a little bit to check your gauze and change it. Try to get some rest or relax.” He patted the end of your bed, offering you a sympathetic smile before leaving you alone once again. 
You didn’t have anything. Your phone and your purse had been left in the car when you were taken to the hospital, you were hoping that it would be retrieved and given back to you at some point, but it didn’t seem like that point would be any time soon. Another knock had you groaning loudly, expecting the nurse now as you mumbled out a “Come in…” just loud enough for the nurse to hear. 
“My baby!” Changbin practically screamed as he rushed through the door, running straight to your bed and cupping your face in his hands. “I’m so sorry! Where does it hurt!? Are you in pain?! I’m so glad you’re alright!” He took a moment to look you over, noticing the way the gauze around your head was stained slightly red. “My beautiful girl… You must have been so scared… Are you okay?” 
His voice softened and you felt the sudden urge to cry as you looked at him. You didn’t care that he had been an asshole on the phone, all you had wanted was for him to be there, and here he was. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, breathing in his scent and letting out the breath in a shaky sob. “It was awful… All I wanted was you… I kept asking for you, for them to get you… I needed you…” You whispered against his shirt, gripping onto it tightly. 
You heard him sniffle softly beside your ear before his lips pressed quick kisses across your face. “I’m here… I’m so sorry… I know you’re probably mad at me… But I don’t want to leave you until I know you’re better.” He whispered through a shaky breath, and when he pulled back your eyes were more sad than before as you stared at him. “You’re gonna leave me?” You questioned, your eyes quickly dropping down to your hands that were worriedly picking at the fabric of the hospital blanket. “I’m… I’m not mad. I know that you wanted me there… And I would have called you to let you know what happened as soon as I got here, but my phone and my purse are still in the car…” 
A quiet gasp escaped his pursed lips before he gently tilted your head up, pressing a kiss to your lips and then your nose and then giving you a small smile. “I’m not leaving you… I’m gonna stay right here…” He pointed to the floor beside your bed and then grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “We’re gonna go home together, and then I’m gonna take care of you until you feel 100% better. Then… I don’t care what anyone says, when I do shows, you’re coming with me. One scare is enough for a lifetime… and I want to spend my lifetime with you. I’m never leaving you alone again.” 
610 notes · View notes