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#I’m always like why didn’t anyone help me
carmyboobear · 3 days
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Idk if you've written this but can you write about carmy and the reader arguing and he makes her cry? Idk I just feel like thatd be good angst fluff lol
AHH I got carried away as per usual. anyway this is good stuff. wrote a bunch. enjoy!!
word count: 1.3k
tags: traumatized carmy, mentally ill carmy and reader, arguing, language, HURT/COMFORT, ANGST/FLUFF, carmy being a sweetie
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Hm…i'm spending a lot of time thinking about the set-up for this. Carmy is a very careful person when it comes to those he’s romantically involved in, but at the same time, he has a hard time controlling his temper when he's in the darkness, as i'll put it. 
here's something awful i think about that i wanna write about. carmy's stressed about work, because of course he is. he's carmy. his head is whirring, spinning with anxiety and self-hatred. i think you're just like him. mentally ill for mentally ill if you will. you're also in a bad mood, and he comes home from The Bear exhausted and keyed up.
“I hate when you push me away like this,” you admit. You've been trying to get him to talk to you since he's been home. Maybe he just needs space, but separation makes you anxious. Especially when he shuts down. 
“I'm sorry that it's so hard for you,” he spits, finally snapping and turning to face you. You've followed him into the dark bedroom, lit only by the harsh moonlight through the window. You flinch. You never quite get used to seeing him like this. 
“I—I just—“ you feel pressure beginning in the back of your eyes. You will it away. “How can I help you if you don’t talk to me?”
“Why do you care so much? Does it make you feel better to take care of someone more fucked up than you?” He snaps, voice raised. His words go down bitter, leaving an awful taste in your mouth. Something in you shatters.
“How could you ask me that?” Your vision’s gone hot and blurry. “I’m your partner. I love you, that’s why I care, you asshole!” You’re stifling sobs. You hate crying in fights like this, but it hurts. You can’t help it.
“Fuck,” Carmy mutters under his breath. He’s gone still in your blurred vision. “Baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that—“
“That was so fucked up, Carmy.” You move to sit on the bed, trying to wipe your tears away, but they keep coming. “What’s your problem?”
“You know what my problem is.” His remorse has swept away the anger, leaving him quiet before you. He leans down at your knees, hands on your thighs. “I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that.”
“You shouldn’t have.” Carmy nods quickly, and he raises a hand to your wet cheeks. “Fuckin’ asshole.”
“I know.” He takes your pain, your anger in its entirety. His other hand brings your knuckles to his lips. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.“
“Sure sounded like you meant it.” Anger flares up in your chest, hurt and betrayed, but you tamp it down, leaning into his hand cradling his face. You take a deep breath to steady yourself. “Damnit, Carmy.”
“I know. I know.” He’s still kissing your hand. “You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” You hate it when he talks like this, because you can tell he really believes it.
“Don’t say that. Please.” 
“But it’s true.” You look down at him in the moonlight, at his sad blue eyes. “I always find ways to hurt you. I…”
“That’s what being in a relationship is, Carm.” You pat the space next to you. “Sit with me?”
“I keep having to remind myself of that.” He sinks into the bed next to you. “I’m so sorry for talking about you like that. Like you’re only doing this out of…I don’t know. Obligation.” He drags a hand across his tired face. “You don’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I just, I just think that—that I’m—fuck—“
“Slow down, Carm,” you say quietly. “It’s okay. You don’t need to force it. I’m listening.” He smiles bitterly at you, and you recognize the love in it easily. He takes in a deep breath before continuing. 
“I still have a hard time believing that anyone cares about me. I can’t even believe that you—love me.” You can practically see the shame rolling off of him in waves. “And it makes me scared.”
“Love is scary, isn’t it?” You say softly. He just nods. “It scares me, too. That’s why I kept pestering you when you got home. I…” You blink quickly. You don’t wanna cry again. “It scares me when I don’t know what you’re thinking. Because…I dunno. It just does.”
“Yeah?” You nod. He has this thoughtful expression that he holds for a moment as he stews on your words. “I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry. I think…I think when you kept asking me if I was okay, it…” he sighs, scratches at his temples. “I felt like I was…getting back into a corner. I think.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” You take his hand in yours. “I can see how that must’ve felt really bad.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault that I’m like this. I think—I think it just reminded me of my mom. We would always ask her if she was okay, because she’s fucking crazy, yknow? We didn’t wanna step on her toes. But it turns out we did anyway. And the way I acted just now, I was just like…” He can’t even get the words out. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, voice choked with emotion. “I love you. So much. You know that, right?”
“You tell me everyday. How could I not?” You pull him into a hug, tight and warm, and he instantly wraps his arms around you. “You’re not your mom, Carm. You're nothing like her. Okay?” 
“I don’t wanna be like her,” he whispers. “I don’t wanna be like her.”
“You’re not,” you remind him softly. “And you won’t be.”
Carmy leans back to look at you, but he remains close. His expression is knotted with pain. You run your thumb over his furrowed brow, and it makes his mouth curve upwards in a smile. It’s fleeting, but it was there. 
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I’ll try to open up more. Let you know what I’m thinking.”
Suddenly, you think about when you first started dating Carmy. He was so scared to open up to you emotionally, but with gentle prodding, he fell apart instantly. There was a hunger in him to be known by others, to be seen by you, and it scared him to death. You see that same fear in him now, but you also see how much he’s grown since then. You doubt you would’ve been able to have this conversation at all in the first couple months. 
That makes you happy in a way you’re not quite able to word properly.
“Thank you. But I hope you also know I don’t want to force you. I just wanna help. And…” You measure your words carefully. “I’ll try not to let it freak me out so much. Because if you’re not in the mood to talk, I want you to know that’s okay. Okay?”
“Okay. I’d like that. If I don’t want to talk, I’ll just tell you. Instead of…blowing a fuse.” He laughs dryly. 
“I’d like that too.” You let out an exhale of relief you didn’t realize you were holding. “Wow, Carm. Look at us. Communicating!”
“I know.” That makes him laugh for real this time, and you’re laughing too. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I think you could. But I certainly like doing it with you.” His smiles grows wider at that, brimming with affection. 
“Let me make this up to you, baby.” He pulls you in for a kiss, slow and deep. You let out a little noise when his lips meet yours. 
“Make it up to me?” Carmy’s tongue is on your neck now. Oh. “Aren’t you tired? You—you have work tomorrow—?”
“Don’t care.” You fall back onto the bed, and the blankets deflate under you. You stare up at Carmy, his curls hanging by his face. “You’re more important.”
“Well, if you insist…” You giggle, and your giggles get louder when Carmy pulls up your shirt to blow raspberries against your stomach. “Carmy, quit it—oh—!”
He makes it up to you in full and more by keeping his head between your legs for the rest of the night. By the end of it you can't remember what you were mad about in the first place.
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sc0tters · 3 days
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Dreams Come True | Trevor Zegras
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summary: Trevor shows you just how competitive he can get when you get cozy with Jack
request: yes/no
warnings: sexual themes, p in v, oral (fem receiving), light bondage, swearing.
word count: 4.75k
authors note: it’s the way that the last time I wrote for him was in part one… so it was safe to say I was a little rusty with Trevor and natural sought the help of the woman who writes him better than anyone else @sweetestdesire so let’s thank her both helping this fic and inspiring portions of it! I’m starting to behave with my endings, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still have my fun 😏
pt 1
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Trevor was pissed off.
He had won a massive game against the devils and all he was meant to do was come home and celebrate. The boy had invited you along to the game and you were meant to be his guest, yet somehow you were in the flurry of red.
Sure Trevor knew Jack was disappointed after the game but you were meant to be congratulating him for winning. Not standing hugging Jack as you told him how proud you were of his effort. You had always had a soft spot for the boy feeling bad for him after the rough rookie season he had.
Yet none of that seemed to matter as Trevor glared at the Hughes boy when you laughed at one of his jokes, because what could have been that funny? Jack eventually noticed the sharp looks that were being sent his way “something happen between you and Z?” He furrowed his eyebrows motioning to the boy who was still staring at you both.
It made you frown as you locked eyes with Trevor “nothing has happened.” Your cheeks grew warm remembering how you woke up to him after your wet dream “you sure?” Jack teased remembering how you used to have a crush on Trevor when you guys were kids.
It made you scoff as you sent him a playful glare “Jack I think I would know if something happened to me.” You shot back letting out a giggle as the boy pulled you into a hug “just making sure you’re keeping me in the loop.” He mumbled kissing your head in the process.
The middle Hughes boy always did have a soft spot for you “kid we are going now.” Trevor’s announced causing your head to snap in his direction “talk soon?” You asked looking at the younger boy who nodded with a smile.
He squeezed your side “keep him out of trouble.” Jack teased you causing a giggle to erupt from your lips “you want to go or get a cab?” Trevor’s rolled his eyes at the joke reminding you that he was waiting.
That was all it took for you to leave the Hughes boy “c’mon don’t be too grumpy with me now.” You joked growing concerned as he stood there refusing to look at you “what makes you think I’m grumpy?”Trevor grumbled as he still made sure to open the door to let you out first.
Yet you stood there solid as you crossed your arms “tell me why you’re irritated and then we can go.” You shot back causing a smirk to form on his face “I just think if you want to go support him then you should be wearing red.” Trevor looked to your jersey as you were in one of his old ones.
Your hands fixed the front of it as you furrowed your eyebrows “I was just being a good friend to Jack.” You pointed out in a duh tone “look let’s just go home.” Trevor’s sighed as he wiped his palms on his shorts.
It felt like a game of back and forth as you didn’t want to concede first “fucking move before I throw you over my shoulder.” The boy warned as he took a step closer to you “you wouldn’t dare.” You shook your head not believing that he had it in him.
But of course that was your first mistake. Within seconds Trevor crouched down and wrapped his arms around your hips lifting you up over his shoulder “Trevor!” You squealed clenching your fists as you banged them against his back “warned ya.” He shrugged with a smirk as the feeling of your hands against his back was nothing.
He carried you to the car with little debate “can you put me down?” You huffed finally giving up as you just let him carry you “you finally going to stop being a brat?” He cocked his head dropping your feet when he got to his car.
It made a smile form on your lips “never.” You felt his hands slide to your shoulders as he stepped closer to you “you’re a little shit you know that right?” He clicked his tongue trying to act irritated.
A laugh left your lips as you nodded “but that’s why you love me ain’t it?” You cocked your head as he sighed “just get in please.” His voice was softer as his facial expressions grew gentle.
This time you instead opted to listen “okay.” You nodded causing him to let out a sigh of relief as he wasn’t going to have to fight you on it “please remind me why I am best friends with her brother.” Trevor’s mumbled to himself once he shut your sides car door.
The ride back to his place was awkward. You kept your eyes glued to the window beside you as it seemed Trevor still didn’t want to talk about what pissed him off “Z?” Your voice was barely above a whisper when you heard him turn the key shutting the ignition off.
He felt guilty picturing you moaning that on his couch when you had that dream. It was something neither one of you opted to talk about and the feelings were only now starting to bubble out about it “are you really mad at me?” Concerned flashed over your face as the dim lights of the parking building made your eyes shine when you looked at him.
You were spending the night with him again but needed to know you were okay “I’m never mad at you.” He shook his head as his hands wrapped around slid to your lap “don’t like having to share you.” Trevor’s confessed as he ran his thumb over your thigh.
It made your breath cut as you turned your body even closer to his “you don’t share me.” You pointed out as you sent him a smile “not if you don’t want to.” You mumbled swearing that the car was getting even hotter.
Those words were like music to his ears “you get to shoot me when I say you’re not mine alone.” Trevor cupped your cheek as he smiled “then I think you should make me yours Z.” You gasped feeling his lips finally meet yours.
It was like this moment that made your brain go numb, enjoying the way his touch made your body feel on fire. He let his free hand tug at your body, almost as if he was worried that you were going to leave. His touch was careful until your own hand scratched at his chest allowing his taste to captivate you as it danced on your tongue “Z.” You moaned feeling shivers travel through your body.
His mumbled grunt had you ready to into his arm “god I need you.” He blurted out deciding that his cock was becoming too painful against his suit pants. The boy watched you nod as you looked around you both “c’mon I’m not fucking you in my car yet.” Trevor’s words filled you with anticipation as your imagination ran wild thinking of all the different possibilities fun you could have with him.
Even as he was focused on the discomfort in his pants he still found the time to open your door for you “such a sweet boy.” You teased getting up as the boy rolled his eyes “yeah, yeah move along now.” He grumbled holding his duffel bag in one hand and his other wrapped around your waist spinning you around as he held your ass pressed against his cock.
Your breath faltered at the feeling his hair against your neck “be a good girl and walk ahead okay?” Trevor sucked at your ear lobe causing your body to shake in response “okay.” You forced the words from your lips as you bit at the inside of your cheek.
He smirked to himself as he clicked his tongue as you stayed still “you want to get a move on now or?” The hockey player teased pressing a kiss against your cheek. Your hands gripped at his coat tugging him along with you “god baby you’re so pretty tonight.” He confessed finally allowing his hands to leave your waist when the doors to the elevator shut. Your back was pressed against the mirror before you knew it, leaving you grateful that it was just the two of you in there.
Once hating how you wore his jersey so freely now Trevor couldn’t get enough of the sight “just tonight?” You giggled allowing your hands to travel to his waistband“and here I was thinking I was the girl of your dreams.” Your lips formed a playful pout seeing how his cheeks went flushed.
The stereotypical elevator music played in your ears “you know you are.” The hockey player trapped you in with one hand by your side and the other took one of your own “this is all for you princess.” He announced cupping your hand over his hardon.
His aftershave was sickeningly sweet as it invaded your nostrils “you’re gonna get me in so much trouble.” You announced hearing the door opened with a ding, signalling that you guys had made it to his floor “c’mon.” He ushered you out interlacing his hand with yours.
This time when you walked out to the familiar landscape of the hallway yet now you looked around like this was a foreign place where your heart pounded out of your chest “you getting cold feet on me now?” Trevor teased squeezing your hand as you shook your head “gonna have to do a lot more to keep me away pretty boy.” You mumbled pecking his lips before you got to his door.
It was as though the boy didn’t want to lose your hand as it was you who had to let go of his. He was then quick to fish his keys out of his jacket pocket letting you both into his place. The feeling of his lips was left on yours like a loved up couple dancing around your lips “you don’t know how happy I am to finally get you.” Trevor let his bag drop to the floor as a grin painted across your face.
He loved how responsive you were as he kissed you again. Now any potential fears that he might have had of people watching the sight left his mind and the only thing Trevor could think about was you. Your taste was enough to make him want more. His hands clawed at your jeans as the two of you acted like horny teenagers needing each other like oxygen.
Moans left your lips in place of air as your hands tugged at his hair “jump.” He ordered sliding his hands down the curve of your ass to support your weight. You didn’t need to be told twice crossing your legs around his hips as your tongue grazed over his lip “need you.” You pleaded pulling away as you let your forehead rest against his.
It held your desperate moment as you whimpered “c’mon then.” He mumbled carrying you to his room. The path had always been engraved in your mind but tonight you couldn’t help but think back to your dream and how his hands now felt perfect against you.
The boy had the same thoughts through his mind as he smiled letting you drop to his bed “what. Do. You. Want. Me. To. Do?” He asked between the kisses he used to attack your jaw.
It made your breath shake as your eyes watched him nestle between your thighs “I want you to tell me what you think of in that pretty little mind of yours.” Trevor explained letting a smile form on his lips as your cheeks turned red “I know you think about me making you feel good doll.” His words were enough to make you squirm.
Ever since that day when he caught you mid dream you hadn’t been able to forget about it, often finding ways to elaborate on your memories “you make me feel so good.” You whimpered feeling your skin grow warm “with your tongue first.” The latter was barely audible as a spark shone in his eyes.
It was like this bright gleam as he smirked “so I do take you for more than one round?” He teased tracing his hands dangerously close to the hem of your jersey “and when do I get you out of these?” As his cock throbbed in his pants Trevor was desperate to get a move on.
Your eyes flickered to your jeans “these went first.” You revealed making him nod “you gonna let me?” You should have been ashamed by the way that you desperately nodded.
He undid the button of your jeans and pulled down the zipper as he watched you catch your lip between your teeth “you’re so fucking pretty.” Trevor’s reminded you taking the chance to kiss your lips once more. The boy adored his responsive you were to him as the little alcohol you drank that night made his brain feel fuzzy.
Even as you had grown to have feelings for him over the years. you were still just as comfortable with this version of him as you were with the one who would steal food from your plate, when he’d sit on top of you acting like you weren’t there. Trevor watched you smile when he took that moment to go back to what he was doing “cute.” He teased seeing the blue checkered print on your panties.
A laugh left his lips as he watched you roll your eyes “you know Jack would have fucked me by now.” You knew that you were now playing a dangerous game but somehow you didn’t mind as you sent him a glare “then I think it’s about time I get you out of my jersey.” The hockey player emphasised his reminder of whose number was on your back.
Trevor’s movements were powered by irritation and his natural competitiveness also had him wanting to prove her wrong “think you knew you were gonna get fucked tonight didn’t you?” Trevor’s smirked seeing your matching set “but I guess I should ask by who?” He sucked his teeth as he couldn’t help but feel jealous about how your bra got to hug your breasts on an everyday occurrence.
You could have told him the truth but instead you felt like the secrets of your third addition to your dreams should be kept to yourself “you.” You squirmed feeling like head staring into your soul.
As his hands hooked into your panties you wanted him with intent “god you’re going to kill me.” You whined as the cold air came in contact with your cunt “like making you work for your reward.” He teased shuffling down his bed to get comfortable.
Trevor couldn’t help but lick his lips “god you’re a fucking beaut.” The boy mumbled as he kissed at your thighs. Equally spreading his attention between the two “fuck please.” You begged running your fingers over your stomach.
The neediness that glazed your eyes was enough to make him nod. His head dropped allowing him to lick a stripe up her slot. If this was anyone else you would have hated naked you were. Yet instead you shuddered the moment his tongue came in contact with your clit. All those late nights with nothing more than your vibrator and your imagination were put to shame by the needy boy who lay in front of you.
Your hands trailed to his hair desperately attempting to claw at something “don’t stop.” You mewled scrunching your toes in pleasure as his tongue dropped into your core. His nose teased your clit occasionally hitting the sensitive bundle of nerves.
Trevor watched in awe as he fucked your soaked cunt with his tongue treating you like a final meal as his arms wrapped around your thighs. Your eyes locked with his and you swore he took it as a challenge, like he wasn’t hitting the right spots as your eyes were still open.
The moment his head tilted allowing his tongue to reach a point that was deeper within you, you knew you were a goner. Your thighs began to shake as they pressed against the sides of his head “you’re gonna make me come.” You cried using the little focus you had available to drive your hips against his face constantly angling for him to continue hitting your g-spot.
Trevor moaned at the feeling of your cunt clenching around his tongue “just like that.” You pleaded unaware of how tears formed in your waterline as you were lead to your first orgasm that you hadn’t given yourself in months.
Your moans and cries bounced off of his bedroom walls preparing them for the stories that they would surely hold from tonight’s activities “Jesus Trevor oh.” Your lips formed a circle as your eyes screwed shut leaving your body to squirm still driving your hips to his mouth.
The hockey player swore he was dreaming as your salty release landed on his tongue and he continued to lap it up until you clearly began to lose it “no Z.” You mumbled trying to pull away from him when he let his tongue lay flat against your clit pressing a kiss to the sensitive nub before he pulled away.
There was a moment he took where he just sat there with a smirk on his face admiring the work that he had done already “you gonna let me continue making you feel so good?” He muttered honestly wondering if he had it within himself to behave until that point.
A mewl left your lips in delight as his hands tugged at the straps of your bra not caring for the fact that he had managed to rip it “Trevor!” You groaned feeling the elastic shoot against your skin “sorry doll.” His amused tone highlighted how he was anything but that “I’ll buy you another.” The hockey player offered adding seeing that hushed words did barely enough make you feel better so instead he pressed a kiss to your temple.
Your breasts bounced the moment they were released from your bra “‘s not fair you ain’t naked too.” You complained seeing his suit still on him “life ain’t fair doll.” He teased running his hands along your torso until her breasts.
A huff left your lips as his thumbs grazed your nipples “you want to know who would have been naked?” You asked watching his face hover over yours as it tilted practically edging you to answer “Jack.” The name was like a weight that hit Trevor like an anvil. The jab was a taunt and now he was left to decide how to react.
His response was to pinch your stiff peaks, letting the bud roll between his fingers “you really think he’d have you feeling as good as I do?” The hockey player let out a grunt as he rolled his eyes “uh huh.” You couldn’t allow yourself to back down now.
He had this constant desire to outcompete Jack was bubbling through his system. After seeing her so close to Jack that night, Trevor knew that he had one chance to fix it all once and for all to become the outright favourite. His sharp gaze made you force your thighs together as his nimble fingers tugged at his shirt.
The tie that once complimented his neck was now long gone as he threw it onto his navy comforter “can’t believe you’re still such a brat even after all that I do for you.” He grumbled picking it back up once he saw how your eyes sparkled seeing it “arms.” Trevor pushed his hands together showing you what to do.
Part of you was confused enough that you listened pushing your wrists together “up.” The cool metal of his bed frame was freezing against your skin causing your lips to form an o “since you want to act like such a brat you don’t get touch me.” His words were met with a whimper as you went to complain “you cry about it and I’m sure you’re gonna love the taste of your pretty little panties in your mouth.” Trevor warned making you gulp as you began to think about his offer.
Once you remained silent he instead looked to continue pulling his clothes off “not a brat.” You mumbled looking to his comforter “so you won’t mind me fucking his name right out of your mouth?” The boy was serious as his boxers were the final addition to the clothing pile that had formed on his floor.
Trevor fiddled through his bedside cabinet to get a condom from the box “would have fucked you raw but not even you deserve that much.” He grumbled to himself tearing the metallic wrapper to reveal the latex element. His cock throbbed feeling the air of the room around him “god please just fuck me already.” You pleaded kicking your legs as you felt helpless not being able to move your arms.
He laughed as he rolled the condom over his cock “how can I say no when you ask so nicely.” The hockey player cooed crawling back onto the bed as you pulled your legs up spreading them for him to get a view of your soaking desperate cunt “I’m ready to fuck his name right outta your mouth.” Trevor’s voice was so low that you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or not.
You nodded chewing at the inside of your cheek “will believe it when I see it.” If there was a hole then you were digging yourself into it “you’re lucky I have been picturing fucking this cunt for years.” He grunted running his covered cock over your slit teasing your clit causing a moan to leave your lips.
Trevor like you had these dreams at night and his hand with the memory of your moans were now no longer enough to make him come “jesus fuck.” You gasped as your cunt stretched around his cock “it’s just me doll.” His hands found themselves by your sides as he kissed you letting the vibe grow soft like he genuinely cared.
Maybe it was for the fact that you were currently full with his cock but this time you couldn’t argue back “please move.” Your hands tugged at his tie finally feeling stretched out “you feel like heaven.” Trevor groaned beginning to settle into a rhythm.
He enjoyed watching how your body bounced with each creak of the headboard.
Your eyes trailed down his body taking snapshots of his chiseled chest. He smirked picking up how your mouth watered at the sight of his throbbing cock thrusting into you “like keeping those pretty little eyes on me huh?” The boy teased angling his thrusts upward to get a deeper angle.
The room got hot as you whimpered “fuck you feel so good.” Your legs snaked around his hips refusing to let him go “you know I’m the only one who makes you feel this good right?” He murmured running his tongue along your jaw.
It made you shiver as your breasts throbbed “answer the question before I stop.” Trevor raised his hand to slap your thigh making you moan “only you z.” You nodded feeling your wrists grow sore with how you tugged at the restraints.
But that wasn’t enough for him as he let his hand slot between your two bodies “only I what?” He taunted you letting his fingers ghost over your clit “fuck me like this.” You mewled feeling your legs begin to shake.
Hearing those words were like music to his ears “guess I should let you touch me then?” Trevor proposed making you nod desperately “god please yes.” You should have been embarrassed by how desperate you were for him to let you touch him.
A whine left your lips as you felt his hand leave your clit “relax you brat.” He scoffed rolling his eyes “I’m giving you what you want so behave.” Trevor’s snapped making you nod as you went silent watching his hand claw at his tie undoing the knots.
The moment your hands were free they pulled his face down to yours. It was a needy kiss that you finally took control of as you took him by surprise “still such a needy girl even with my cock for her to fuck.” The vulgar words made you clench around him “you think he could have gotten you feeling like this?” The hockey player groaned as his head dropped to your shoulder for his lips to nip at the soft skin.
Jack was the last thing on your mind as you shook your head as your hands moved to his back letting your nails claw at him “no.” You shook your head making Trevor use the little energy he head left to look back up at you “what was that I couldn’t hear you?” He taunted applying more pressure to your clit as his hips snapped into you.
Your mouth opened ready for the cries to leave your lips yet you were silent only letting the soft gasps push past your lips “you keep fucking me so well.” You blurted out not having tome to care about how dirty your words truly were.
It made him groan as he soaked your words up like a sponge “shit.” He felt his pace increase as the squelching sounds from your cunt echoed in his ears “I’m close.” You confessed letting your eyes screw shut as the room grew even hotter.
Your skin was slick with sweat and you were sure to have been a mess “stick your tongue out for me baby.” He ordered as you nodded feeling your breasts hit his skin.
Your tongue rolled out of your mouth awaiting further instructions “such a good listener.” The boy praised causing your cunt to clench around him again.
Trevor swore he was going to come when his spit left his mouth. It was a sticky string that connected your mouth to his “now swallow.” He brushed his thumb over your lower lip breaking the saliva trail as he placed his thumb in your mouth.
On instinct your tongue swirled around the digit listening to his orders as he smirked “good girl.” Trevor murmured as he felt you begin to ride your hips into his “go milk my cock baby.” The words made you cry as your thighs began to shake.
His attacks on your clit pushed you over the edge “god please don’t stop!” You pleaded feeling your chest heave “doll keep your eyes on me when you come.” As his hips snapped into yours you couldn’t but listen.
Your eyes stared into his as you moaned “right there!” You gritted out in delight making him nod as you finally came. White points coated your vision as your body thrashed around letting your cunt clamp down around his cock.
Just like that his head dropped back down to your shoulder “such a tight perfect cunt f’me.” Trevor cooed feeling his cock twitch coating his release into his condom as you squeezed his cock one final time.
The two of you lay there embracing each other’s hold as you both focused on your breathing and your fingers brushed through his hair “you wanted a bath princess?” Trevor offered rolling off of you as he feared he didn’t have the energy to simply pull out.
He had to snap his fingers in front of you in order to get you to respond “since when are you into aftercare?” You let out an amused laugh clearly not believing that it was something he was capable of “just for that I have to show you.” Trevor shot back scooping you into his arms before you could complain.
It made him smile as you wrapped your arms around him “I just want to be proved wrong.” You teased making him laugh as he opened the door to his bathroom bringing you both into there.
Whilst the sounds of laughter and running water came from the bathroom what neither of you noticed was that a message came through to your phone. One that would surely lead to more harm than good especially whilst you were finding a reason to sneak out with your clothes half on the next morning.
Jack: you up for coming to the Vegas game still?
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mypoisonedvine · 14 hours
Text
𝐚 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | riley poole x reader
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - having a girlfriend who can decode secret messages comes in handy when you're a treasure hunter; and having a clingy, needy treasure hunter boyfriend can be annoying when you're trying to decode something, but you find a way to compromise.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 4.4k
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - SMUT (18+ only, and honestly who under 18 is watching this 20 year old movie about the declaration of independence? regardless, minors go away), established relationship, free use kink, touch of dumbification kink, FLIP PHONES (oh the noughties nostalgia), a totally unnecessary plot because everyone deserves a dose of colonial american history with their filth, riley and reader being nerdlove goals
(honestly can't believe I actually wrote this but now that I did I'm like hold up... is this my new obsession??)
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When Ben answered the door obviously not ready, and obviously surprised by Riley’s presence, it didn’t take a genius to put together that he’d forgotten about tonight— which Riley had sort of seen coming, with how many times this one thing had been put off or rescheduled at the last minute.  One of the downsides of being a treasure hunter?  Your coworkers tend to be somewhat… unreliable.
“Riley— what are you doing here?” Ben wondered.
“Warm greeting as always…” Riley sighed before answering the question: “I'm here to pick you up.”
Ben gave Riley an even more confused look.
“For dinner,” Riley added flatly.  “At Talerico’s.  To meet my—”
“To meet your new girlfriend, oh god,” Ben realized, “was that tonight?”
“No, it's tomorrow, I'm just picking you up twenty-four hours in advance,” Riley replied snarkily.
“I'm sorry, Riley,” Ben sighed, “I really— I do wanna meet her, Abigail did too— but I completely forgot— can we move this to another night?”
“Ben, we've moved this so many times that she's not even a new girlfriend anymore,” Riley sighed.
“I know, I know, but we can't tonight— Abigail just went out,” Ben justified.
“Where'd the missus go?”
“The library, she's trying to help me with something.”
“A clue?  It's another clue, isn't it,” Riley realized, not trying very hard to hide his excitement.
“I was going to call you tomorrow,” Ben explained.  “Come in, I’ll show you.”
After walking into Ben’s house and upstairs to the study, Riley wrinkled his brow when Ben handed him the coded message.  “Well, that’s just a whole bunch of letters,” Riley noticed.
“Astute as always, Riley,” Ben frowned.  “We found them in a journal that belonged to James Madison.”
“Why would James Madison write down a bunch of random letters in his journal?”
“No— each letter was underlined in a different entry.  And, at the back, we found this,” Ben continued, showing Riley a scanned parchment.
“GABE FADECCE,” Riley read aloud, changing his mind a few times about the pronunciation.  “It’s a name, right?”
“It must be,” Ben shrugged, “but we’ve been searching online for any evidence of a Fadecce family or a Gabriel that worked for or with Madison, and we haven’t found anyone.  That’s what Elizabeth went to the library for.”
“It sounds Italian, could he be Italian?” Riley wondered as Ben set down the images with a sigh.
“I don’t know— possibly, but we’re at a dead end at this point,” Ben replied.  “I’m sure we’d have a lot more to work with if we could decipher those letters from the journal entries, but we were up all night trying to figure it out—”
“Not what I’d be up all night doing with my girlfriend, but okay,” Riley interjected.
“And I haven’t gotten anywhere with it,” Ben concluded.
“Wait— you can't solve it?” Riley challenged with a smug grin.  “The Ben Gates can't solve a clue?”
“It's not that I can't, it's just that a code like this requires a lot of time,” Ben explained.  “I'm a historian, not a cryptographer.”
“We need a codebreaker,” Riley nodded thoughtfully, “somebody who can decode something this complex, and knows enough about the Founding Fathers to have some context for the message...”  He tapped on his chin like he was really thinking about it, before proudly smiling and tilting his head in faux-realization.  “Hey, how about a former intelligence agent who specialized in decryption, with a master's in world history and beautiful eyes that you can get lost in for hours?”
Ben raised an eyebrow at Riley.  “Yes, that would be great— give or take the eyes thing— but where are you gonna find one of those?”
“At Talerico’s,” Riley announced, “waiting at a table for four.”
“Your girlfriend is a cryptographer?” Ben realized with wide eyes.
“I told you you'd like her,” Riley beamed.
~
Riley was engrossed in his game, furiously clicking the mouse and clacking at the keyboard before mumbling a curse of defeat and pulling the headset off; sighing, he turned around and looked over the back of the couch at you.
He'd only started playing the game because you weren't giving him attention, so it made sense that as soon as he died, he'd go back to bugging you.  “Hey,” he greeted plainly, smiling yet clearly fighting the urge to pout.
You were laying on your stomach on the bed, half-dressed, looking at the pages Ben had given you and scribbling notes on a pad.  “Hey,” you returned flatly after a pause, adjusting your reading glasses before taking a few more notes.
“You look cute doing that,” he hummed.
“Doing what?”
“Thinking.”
You frowned a little in concentration but didn't look away from your papers.  “I like to think I'm always thinking…”
“No wonder you're so cute all the time then,” he cooed, leaning in closer and resting his chin in his hands.
He waited for a moment for you to keep the conversation going, but sighed when you simply continued working on the cipher without paying him any mind.
Getting off the couch with a sigh, he hopped onto the bed and laid beside you, making the mattress bounce a few times.  He kept looking at you for a little while, eventually reaching out and rubbing your back for a moment, before sliding himself even closer to you and planting a kiss on your shoulder.
Even with ninety-five percent of your attention on the puzzle in front of you, you could still tell what sort of mood Riley was getting himself into.  “Well, there is one thing that makes you stop thinking…” he recalled in a purr, nuzzling into the crook of your neck and giving you a teasing trail of kisses there.
You sighed a little and shrugged him away.  “Riley, I need to focus.”
“Baaabe,” he pouted.  “I can't help it, you're just so— how am I supposed to resist you like this?”
“I'm literally just laying here,” you noticed.
“You know what you do to me in those bifocals, sweetheart.”
You snorted and finally looked back at him, admiring the puppy dog eyes he was giving you— they almost always worked on you, and he knew it.  Sighing in relent, you looked back at the pages in front of you.  “I need to get this done, I promised your friend I would finish it in twenty-four hours,” you explained, “but you can go ahead.”
“Go ahead?” he repeated, confused.
“You can just use me, while I work,” you offered flippantly, hardly noticing the way his face turned red.
“R-right… I can just, um… use you.  That's— okay, sure,” he coughed nervously.
“Just be quick,” you insisted.
“Yeah, that's a challenge,” he scoffed, shuffling on the bed to straddle your legs and run his hands over your back.  “I, uh, like when you wear my shirts,” he informed you, as if feeling his erection press against your ass wasn’t enough of a clue.
“Just get on with it, please?” you groaned.
“Yeah, yeah— sorry…” he mumbled, moving his hands down to your panties which he traced slowly.  “These are cute,” he noticed aloud anyways, and you sighed a bit to yourself as you realized how futile it was to try to keep him from talking.  You were just going to have to tune him out to get this done.
His fingers shakily hooked into the elastic and pulled your panties down, a low hum echoing in his chest as he looked at you.  Grabbing handfuls of your ass and kneading them gently, he mumbled something to himself that you weren’t really paying attention to— until he got your attention suddenly with a quick slap.  “Hey!” you yelped, jumping slightly.
“Sorry, sorry,” he breathed through a grin, “couldn’t help myself.  I-I won’t distract you anymore, okay?  Just, you know, keep working…”
You did just that, of course, re-ordering the papers in your hand to look at the scanned back page again.
He went on mumbling to himself as he shoved his sweatpants down to his thighs to free his cock: “juuuust keep working,” he breathed.
He spit into his hand quickly and smeared it on himself, before nudging in between your legs and pressing himself to your opening.
Admittedly, you did react slightly when he pushed inside you— a wince from the stretch of it, especially without much preparation— but you managed to keep quiet and focus on your work again.  “God, so tight,” he groaned, digging his fingers into your hips slightly as he slid deeper.  “You're too good to me, baby…”
He pushed as deep as he could go, which was honestly a bit further than you expected at this angle, and leaned over you slightly as he started to move.
“You feel so good,” he praised through a heavy breath, not taking very long to savor the moment before picking up speed.  You knew if you reacted too strongly to what he was doing, he'd notice instantly and start trying to pull you away from your work; so, you did your best to focus on the problem, even if you found yourself gripping the pages a bit tighter.
Even if your attention was straight ahead, you almost wished you could see him now— but then again, you had a pretty good idea of what you would see if you looked back: his mouth parted slightly with sighs of pleasure, a subtle pink flush across his face, his eyes going a little glassy as they drifted over you.  In fact, you could sometimes feel his gaze on you, especially at those times that his fingers traced your back and hips.
Realizing something suddenly about the cipher in front of you, you put your pen between your teeth and pulled the cap off, biting down on it slightly to hold it in place so you could keep writing on the paper your other hand held.  “Fuck, you're so hot,” Riley groaned, starting to thrust a bit more urgently.  Resisting the urge to smile to yourself too much, you kept taking your notes and didn't especially pay attention to him behind you, even when his occasional whimpers started to grow louder.
For the most part, you were able to keep your focus.  It wasn’t that Riley was especially easy to ignore— certainly not with him going just a bit faster with every thrust— but you were finally on a roll with this puzzle; maybe you would’ve already solved it if it weren’t for your boyfriend, even if he was a welcome distraction.
He panted with each movement, holding on tighter to your hips.  “Fuck,” he whispered, leaning down after a moment to rest his forehead on your shoulder.  Normally, you would have to stop yourself from reaching back to run your fingers through his hair, but you were too engrossed in your work; and it was a good thing, too, because if you’d done that he almost certainly would’ve grabbed the papers and tossed them away, impatiently demanding for you finish that later and let him finish now.
Instead, it seemed like the pace and intensity of both your decryption and his movements grew together: your writing was hurried while his thrusts were faster and harder suddenly, until you could hear skin hitting skin, his groans muffled slightly as they came out through his teeth.
“Oh my god,” you gasped, taking your pen away from the paper abruptly and looking at your work.
“Yeah, you like that?” he encouraged in a rough voice.
“Oh my god, I solved it,” you announced, hardly noticing how he'd misunderstood your exclamation.
That seemed to break him out of his focus for a moment, and he stopped moving as he leaned down over you, resting his chin on your shoulder to read the page you were holding.  “At the place of eighty-five pleas, remove the Crucifiction keys,” he read aloud from the paper— once he managed to navigate your disorganized notes.
“It's a polyalphabetic substitution cipher,” you explained excitedly.  “Once I realized the key word was his wife’s name it was relatively simple— aside from having to reverse engineer some Vignere tables—”
“But what does it mean?” he wondered.  “What even is a Crucifiction key?  Please don’t tell me Ben’s gonna rob some nuns.”
“This was Madison’s journal,” you recalled, “and he co-wrote the Federalist papers with Alexander Hamilton and John Jay— eighty-five pleas— but Hamilton wrote the majority in his home.  I think we need to go to his estate, and see if they still have any of the instruments he owned.”
“Instruments?” 
“The Crucifiction keys, that threw me off too,” you admitted, “but Hamilton was a pretty accomplished pianist— but he would’ve played the colonial precursor to the piano, the fortepiano, which was created by an Italian inventor named Cristofori.  Cristo as in Christ, obviously, and fori meaning ‘holes’.  The Crucifiction!  The keys are piano keys!”
“But who’s Gabe Fadecce?” he pressed.
“It’s not a name,” you answered, “it’s a song.  G, A, B, E, F…” you hummed each note as best you could recall.  “If we start at the first key in the bass and take out the first G, A, and so on up the scales, I’m guessing there will be another clue beneath them, or on the back or something.”
“You're amazing,” he smiled, kissing you on the cheek proudly.
“I'll call Ben,” you decided, reaching to pick up your phone from nearby on the bed and flip it open; you hadn't even opened your contacts yet before Riley wrapped his hand around yours and— gently— pulled it away and closed it.
“I'll call Ben,” he offered, “later.”
You turned to look at him, and he smiled at you, though there was something softer and darker about his gaze as it fell slowly to your lips.
“You and I have unfinished business first,” he continued softly before kissing you with more patience than you expected from him after all that…
When he pulled away, you reached up to take off your glasses, but he clicked his tongue as he stopped your hand from moving any further.
“No no no, leave those on,” he encouraged.  You grinned before he kissed you again, his weight sinking into your back as he slipped an arm around your shoulders.  You moaned softly into the kiss when he started moving again; it was a relaxed pace, but with him draped over you like this, he seemed to go so much deeper.
When he pulled away, you found yourself leaning towards him for more— but he just smirked at you and propped himself upright again, starting to move faster behind you.
“Look back at me,” he requested in a softer voice, and when you turned to look over your shoulder at him behind you, you found him biting his lip at the sight.  “Oh god,” he choked on a groan, meeting your gaze before shutting his eyes and tilting his head back.  “Fuck, is it weird that you ignoring me kinda turned me on?”
You laughed a little, and shook your head.  “No, that's fine… I can go back to it, if you want—”
“No, please— I still like you better like this,” he insisted.  “I like how responsive you are.”
He ran his hand up your back and you shivered, rocking your hips up slightly as he ran his fingers over your hair before taking a hold of your shoulder.
“Yeah,” he breathed, something beautifully dark to his voice, “like that.”
He began to fuck you hard— not fast, but intense and deep and just the right amount of impatient— and you didn't even try to hold back the loud whine of pleasure that jumped from your chest.  “Fuck,” you gasped, “oh my god, yes…”
“Uh huh?” he encouraged, watching with half-lidded eyes at the way you moved under him, your body naturally starting to rock back towards his.  “Tell me how that feels.”
“Good,” you panted.
“But not good enough to distract you from your work, huh?” he challenged.
“Well, to be fair, nothing feels better than cracking a code,” you giggled.
“Oh, baby,” he groaned, putting his hands on either side of you on the bed so he could lean down and kiss your neck, only to bite it a second later— not too hard, but a little harder than just playful.  You felt him smile when you yelped softly.  “You’re trying to piss me off, right?”
“Maybe,” you shrugged a little bit.
He sat back up and pulled out of you unexpectedly, but thankfully explained himself before you would’ve likely let out a pathetic whine that he would’ve held against you.  “Turn over,” he instructed, “and take that shirt off.”
You flipped onto your back with a smile; “I thought you liked how I look in your shirts,” you reminded him as he helped you pull it over your head and toss it aside.
“Yeah, but I like how you look without them even more,” he explained, running his hands along your sides before surprising you as he suddenly bent down to swirl his tongue around a hardening nipple.
“Fuck,” you gasped, grabbing onto his hair as he moved to the other, first with his eyes shut and then opening them to look up at you as your back arched.
“You’re so pretty,” he praised as his lips traveled to your neck; he yanked you closer by your hips, making you laugh slightly with surprise as you slid across the bed, though it turned into a moan when he thrust into you again in one go.
This time, he didn’t hold back at all: rough, needy, hungry.  You moaned louder than you planned to, grabbing onto his shoulders through his t-shirt.
“Sorry,” he panted out through a thin laugh, “but I can’t slow down now— not after you drove me crazy like that.  God, baby, you’re so fucking wet—”
You choked on the back of your own throat; you couldn’t help it, you just loved the way he said that.
“— this is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“Uh huh,” you mumbled, 
“You like when I use you, huh?” he taunted, and you bit your lip before nodding.  “That’s pretty kinky, you know.  Is that all you wanna be?  A fucktoy?”
“Oh god,” you groaned, accidentally digging your nails into his shoulder, though he didn’t seem to mind.
“Want me to just fuck you whenever I feel like it, whatever you’re doing?” he continued.
“Yes,” you admitted in a hiss, head dropping back onto the bed.
“You're really trying to spoil me,” he cooed, leaning down to kiss your neck in between words.  “Be careful what you wish for, sweetheart— I might end up fucking you five times a day.  At least.”
You moaned lowly, feeling your muscles seize up on him briefly, making him laugh in the most condescending-yet-sexy way.
“Oh, fuck— you want that!” he realized, and his voice dropped to a low growl again as he thrusted even faster, teeth teasing your pulse.  “You can never get enough, can you?”
Not that you ever really thought your response to that was going to be especially coherent… but the way you cried out totally gave yourself away; how had he made you so desperate so fast?!
“Oh, poor baby,” he offered pityingly, only to fuck you even faster until you whined pathetically.  “You don’t wanna think, huh?  Just wanna be my hole.”
“Y-yeah,” you gasped, “fuck…”
“You’re too fucking perfect, you know that?” he praised.  “The only thing sexier than fucking you while you use that gorgeous brain of yours, is fucking you until you can’t.”
Your moan was sort of trapped in the back of your throat as you tried to swallow it down; you wished you had the wherewithal to hold it back better, but you weren’t really used to him talking like this.  Normally he would just go on tangents of praise and begging (as needed), and even though it wasn’t your first glimpse of his more dominant side, this all felt a bit different.  Even the way he was looking at you seemed different— a sort of pride in his eyes, pride in his own ability to turn you into a wet and whimpering mess.
“So fucking good,” he cooed, “you’re so good, baby— my good, dumb little fucktoy.”
“G-god,” you choked, holding on tighter to the sheets under you, trying to hold yourself together.
“You’d better come fast, ‘cause I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he warned with a sigh— which would be a much more credible threat if he’d ever left you hanging.  But no, those times Riley’s stamina hadn’t taken you all the way, he was more than happy to put his mouth on you and let it do the rest of the work.
This time, though, all he needed was a thumb drawing rough circles on your clit to help you along.  You hadn’t even noticed how sensitive it had become, not until your back arched and a needy whine jumped from your chest.  “Oh fuck, Riley, I’m close,” you yelped.
“Yeah?” he whined— actually, he repeated it a few times as he watched you get closer to your peak, but it was all falling on deaf ears as your moans got louder and louder.
“Yes!” you cried out, shaking under him; even with his weight pressing you down into the bed, it began to feel like you were floating somehow.  It was one of those orgasms that left you a little numb, with little jolts of raw pleasure that were almost too much— but your only defense was holding tighter onto him, inside and out.
“O-oh god,” he choked weakly, the movement of his thumb slowing but his hips going faster than ever.  “Fuck, fuck!”
He stopped all at once, burying himself in one last stroke as deep as he could reach, moaning lowly against the crook of your neck as he went mostly limp atop you.
After catching your breath for a few moments, you hummed softly in contentment and he carefully lifted himself up just to fall back down beside you on the bed.  He looked at you with heavy eyes but a huge smile; “You wear me out, you know that?” he breathed, reaching up to move some hair stuck to your face.
“You distract me from my work, you know that?” you countered.
“Hey, you got it done,” he defended.  “We’ll let Ben know as soon as I… you know, remember how to exist.  And use cell phones.”
“And maybe after a shower…” you suggested.  As soon as you saw the sparkle in Riley’s eye you added: “Separately.  I’ll pass out before we can make it to dinner tonight if we just end up fucking again.”
“I mean, they’ve been putting off dinner for months— why can’t we blow them off for once?” he suggested with a smirk, moving closer to you on the bed.
“I thought I’d worn you out,” you remembered with a breathless laugh, and he wrapped an arm around you to pull you into him.
“You did,” he sighed against your neck, “I’m just… easily re-inspired.”
~
It was a good thing this place was mostly empty, since this was technically somewhat sensitive information, but you figured anyone who overheard wouldn’t know enough about the conversation to glean anything too significant.  You found yourself rubbing your hands together under the table anxious as you watched Ben across from you, holding your work, and waited for his response.
“This is incredible,” Ben smiled as he read your decryption, making both you and Riley smile back with pride.  “A polyalphabetic substitution cipher, I should’ve known.”
“Yeah, any idiot would’ve known that,” Riley joked flatly.
“Where’d you find this girl?” Ben asked him, and you glanced at your boyfriend to find a little flush on his cheeks.
“You know, the technical answer is that we met at a panel lecture proposing that certain ‘random’—” he accentuated the word with a sarcastic tone and air-quotes— “radio frequencies detected by military technology might be messages from extraterrestrials—”
Ben rolled his eyes even at the passing mention of one of Riley’s more absurd conspiracy theories.
“But,” Riley continued, “I have a theory that she was actually created in a lab, specifically for me, by a team of scientists with the inexplicable goal of making me happy.”
“Oh, come on,” you giggled nervously, shoving Riley on the shoulder but failing to stop him from giving you a kiss on your heated cheek.
“That line working on you really is a testament to the fact that you’re made for each other,” Ben offered, and you decided to ignore the backhanded element of the compliment because of your sense that there was something very genuine about it.
“Look who’s here,” Riley pointed towards the front door of the restaurant, over Ben’s shoulder, causing the latter to turn in his seat and look back.  “Abigail, over here!”
She waved when she saw you, quickly approaching the table and taking her seat as she apologized for being tardy; “This is Dr. Abigail Chase,” Ben introduced her with a proud smile.
“Oh, don’t be so formal,” she gently scolded him (maybe everything she said sounded that nice with her accent, though), but she beamed as she grabbed your extended hand to shake it.  “It’s so nice to meet you, finally— I’ve heard so much from Riley.  He’s been bragging about you so much these past few months, I feel like I already know you!”
“Apparently he met her attending some panel about secret alien messages from space,” Ben told her with a smile and a yeah, I know, it’s crazy look in his eyes.
“Attending?” Riley repeated with a scoff.  “We were both speakers!”
Abigail was a little better at hiding any judgmental instinct; “How perfect,” she announced sweetly.
“She’s a real whiz with decryption though— look at this,” Ben instructed, handing the (condensed) page of your notes over to Abigail, who took it and tilted her head as she read to herself.  
“Wow,” she sighed, “you made quick work of it: Hamilton’s fortepiano?  That must be in a museum somewhere.”
“It’s still in his home in New York,” you replied quickly, “we already looked into it.”
“Did you help her at all with the solve?” Ben asked Riley suddenly, who turned to you with a slightly mischievous look in his eyes.  
“Uh,” he stalled before clearing his throat nervously, but never looking away from you— “y-yeah, I helped… in my own way.”
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sp0o0kylights · 2 days
Text
There were a lot of things Mike hated in life.
The demogorgon, and how it had essentially destroyed his life.
 Brenner, and the madhouse laboratory El had survived. 
How each and every one of his friends now did something weird--were weird, because flashing lights or fireworks or some stupid tune a toy horse played dragged up memories that made their eyes flat and faces hollow. 
Most of all though, Mike hated how much they relied on Steve.
There was no reason he should be the person to call when it started pouring and no one wanted to bike home from AV. 
Steve wasn’t Nancy, or Jonathan, or a parent--he wasn’t even dating anyone related to any of the Party anymore so what excuse did he have to keep hanging around? 
(Even if Jonathan was always working, and Nancy was always busy with some club or homework, and everyone’s parents all seemed to be in a race of who could get back to normal the fastest…) 
They should at least try to get a hold of other people, instead of constantly going to Steve first.
“Why?” Dusitn had scoffed at him the last time this had happened, feeding quarters into a phone and staring at Mike like he was the one being unreasonable. “I’m not gonna waste money just to hear your sister tell us no again when we all know Steve will do it.” 
Which was perhaps the most infuriating part of it all.
That Steve would do it. 
Show up and help them, even if he bitched the whole time. 
Hell, Steve Harrington knew more about Mike’s life offhand than Nancy did, and that made him want to punch a wall more days than it didn’t. Why the hell was Steve so involved? 
It was stupid. 
Weird, even! They weren’t friends, (even if Dustin and Max and El of all people said the opposite) he wasn’t being paid to babysit, (Mike had double checked; going round to ask Ma Henderson and Mrs. Sinclair, only to get an earful of how wonderful Steve was from both.) he had no reason to hang around! 
It didn’t make sense that Steve could be harassed into picking them up from school. 
Would take them to get ice cream, or hand over extra quarters for the arcade. He even gave out advice like some kind of--brother that Mike had never wanted. 
Above all?
Mike hated that when he needed someone, the number he punched in on automatic was Steve’s.
“I need you to come get me.” He said into the receiver, mad at himself and the world, but mostly mad that beyond the normal amount of squawking Steve did, he shut up and came. 
Drove up in his rich boy car, stepping out and herding Mike into it like the rain hadn’t already seeped into his bones. 
“You wanna tell me why you snuck into a bar two towns over?” Steve asked, long after Mike had slung himself into the passenger seat, arms crossed defensively over his chest.
“No.” 
One of Steve’s hands went right to his hair, running through it before adjusting the mess he’d just made. 
It was a nervous habit, and Mike hated that he knew that too. 
“Okay, well.” Steve’s hand fell back to the steering wheel, clenching tight around it. “Next time you want to do something dumb could you at least come talk to me about it beforehand?”
“What the hell would that do?” Mike bitched, staring firmly out of the window. 
“Not waste my gas for starters.” Steve bitched right back. “But I dunno man, we could have taken some bats and gone and wailed on cars in the junkyard and talked or some shit, not--whatever this all was.”
‘This all’ was accompanied by a wave of his hand, indicating not just the bar Mike had been standing in front of, but his general sopping wet state. 
“You’d actually go to the junkyard with me?” Mike challenged, doubtful. 
Steve made a face. “Did you lose your hearing in there? I just said--.” 
“Why?” Mike interrupted. “Why the fuck would you come out with me?”
Matching his entire aggressive tone, Steve said; “Because it’s better than trying to sneak into the one local gay bar when you’re barely fourteen, Michael.” 
And that? 
Steve being oddly aware of shit he really shouldn’t have?
Mike hated that too. 
“You knew what the bar was?” He asked, his voice coming out much smaller than he intended. 
“Everyone knows what that bar is, except it’s more of a biker bar than a gay bar.” Steve shot back--which did actually explain about ten different questions Mike had about the place. “Also, language you little shit.” 
Under his breath, Steve continued in a muttered; “I swear I’m going to start carrying around soap.”
“You cuss more than we do.” Mike responded, and if his own voice was a little strangled as he fought back the sudden swell of tears, then that was between him and God. 
He was not crying in front of Steve Harrington, he outright refused. 
“The point I’m making is that there are way better bars to sneak into. That one’s not nearly as welcoming as people make it out to be, probably because they’re sick of all the rumors.” 
Steve seemed to realize what he was implying because he quickly added; “Not that you should be sneaking into any bars at all!” 
“You’re not my mom.” Mike’s voice turned wet as he lost his battle with his throat, voice cracking as he failed to choke the tears back.  
“No shit Wheeler.”  Steve said, and at least he was good enough not to call attention to Mike’s crying. 
If he had, Mike was pretty sure he’d just up and die of embarrassment, right there. 
“I don’t get why you care.” He muttered, angrily swiping at his eyes. 
“I didn’t keep you alive this long just so you could die of something stupid.” Steve countered easily.
Which was kinda fair, if you thought about it.
Mike very much did not want to think about it. 
Any of it.
Ever. 
“Are you gonna tell my parents?” He asked after a painfully long moment. 
Long enough that Steve had begun fiddling with the radio, trying to find a station as they drove back that wasn’t wailing country or gospel music. 
“I’m not a narc, so no.”  
“Not about the bar.”  
Now Steve just looked confused. 
Probably because he was, because he was without a doubt the stupidest almost adult Mike knew. 
(Not that he could say that out loud--last time he had, Max had made one of her pissy faces and then El got mad because Max was, which led to a break up, which led to Mike having to beg his way back into his girlfriend’s good graces while explaining that he hadn’t meant it like that.
“How did you mean it then?” Max demanded, and Mike wasn’t sure how he managed to dodge that entire conversation but he had, on grounds that untangling his own emotions regarding stupid Steve made him want to pull his hair out and scream.) 
“What about then?” 
 “You know. Don’t make me say it.” Mike absolutely didn’t plead, even if it did sort of, kind of, sound like pleading. 
Steve flicked his eyes away from the road to give one long, weird look at Mike. The same one he gave Dustin when he went off on a rant about Cerebro or Lucas when he started discussing the stats of different D&D weapons. 
Unlike those times, Steve’s face cleared. 
“Oh.” He said, blinking, and Mike could practically see the light bulb flash above his head.
Then; 
“Nah.” 
Mike waited.
And waited.
And kept waiting as Steve went back to searching through radio channels, as if that was the end of the conversation.
It couldn't be the end of this conversation.
Not when this was the part that was eating Mike alive.
He didn’t know if this was Steve repressing it on purpose or if this was what he had to look forward to for the rest of his life if he kept trying to figure his own head out, but either way, he knew he had a choice to make. 
To let the unspoken part of today die quietly. Go unsaid, and remain unsaid, for all eternity--or he could let it out. 
Shove the “gay” part of “gay bar” in Steve’s stupid, jock face. 
Make him acknowledge it, even if it got Mike kicked out of the car, and who cared if it did? 
Steve wasn’t the person who should have picked him up anyway. 
The anger climbed higher and higher in his chest, tears and rage combining until Mike spat it all out, furious. 
“You’re not going to ask if I’m gay?”  
Steve didn’t turn to face him, but Mike saw his eyebrow cocking anyway, given how he was currently glaring a hole in the side of the older teen’s head. 
“Do you want me to?” 
“No.” Mike bit out automatically. “Yes. I don’t know!” 
Steve’s hand found its way back into his hair. 
“Okay then.” Steve paused, clearly fishing for something to say. 
Gleefully, Mike watched him struggle. 
“Do you like guys?” He managed finally, looking like he was navigating a minefield more than just talking.
“I don’t know.” Mike stressed, sinking lower in his seat. “Why do you think I was at the bar? I was trying to figure it out!” 
“Honestly I assumed this was some sort of stupid dare--but!” Steve held up a finger, before Mike could interrupt, “But let’s--shit, hold on, I had a speech for this but I kinda wasn’t expecting to use it this soon. Um.”
“You have a speech for me being gay?”
“Not for you.” Steve rolled his eyes. “For--in general! It was an in general, just in case speech!” 
He rounded on Mike, for longer than the younger was comfortable with given Steve took his eyes off the road to do it. “Okay--you can like boobies, you can like, uh--not boobies, and that’s fine! It’s all totally fine!” 
“You are not making it sound like it’s fine.” Mike said, feeling like he’d been taken out by hearing Steve say the word “boobies.” 
Gross, gross, gross. 
“Well it is.” Steve said, in a tone that felt like he was two seconds from adding in a smarmy ‘so there!’ at the end. 
“But I’m dating El.” Mike whined, which really, was both the heart of the matter and the eye of the storm that had been growing in his head for months now. “I can’t be gay if I like her.” 
“Don’t you guys break up and get together like four times a week?”
“No, that's Max and Lucas, El and I are stable.” Mike scoffed. “Or we--we were stable.” 
Before he started to have thoughts about people that weren't his girlfriend. 
Or women.
“Stable for being in middle school, sure.” Steve snorted. “You don’t just have to like one or the other you know. You can like dudes and chicks at the same time.”
Which Mike did not know, on account of being fourteen. 
He did his absolute damndest not to show that realization, instead adding that to the list of reasons why he hated Steve Harrington too.
Steve shouldn't be the one teaching him about who you could like!
“The point is that who you end up loving isn’t a problem.” Steve finally looked back to the road. “Other people might be an issue, and those people we can punch in the face so long as the cops aren’t looking, which isn’t part of the speech so let’s not tell people I said that part, but whatever you do choose, there’s nothing wrong with you.” 
Steve’s voice went firm, as he apparently recalled his speech or something close enough to it because his next words sounded a little rehearsed. “You have people who are here for you, no matter what. Okay?” 
Oh God, Mike was crying again. 
He wanted to punch Steve in his stupid face.
Wanted to hold onto the fury he'd built inside himself. Thrash around, throw himself out of the car, get away from the emotions that felt too big for his chest to contain. 
Instead he felt it all break on Steve's acceptance. On word's he didn't know he needed to hear until they'd been spoken, and sniffed out a quiet; “Okay.” 
Steve of course had to take it too far by reaching over and patting his knee, which they both regretted judging by how quickly Steve took his hand back and the face Mike made at his hand--but it…
It was appreciated, even amongst all Mike's rage.
Steve was appreciated. 
Not that Mike would ever, on pain of death, tell him that. 
Neither said a word for a while, Steve finally landing on a radio that was playing some Top 40 hit, Tears for Fears singing about ruling the world while Mike found himself trying to rebuild his own once again, tired of it having shattered so many times over. 
At least he finally felt better, even if he refused to admit Steve was the reason for it. 
He wasn’t quite done though.
 There was a piece Steve had skipped over, that Mike felt was critically important, if only because it was partly the reason he was having thoughts about being gay in the first place. 
He had to know if Steve saw it too. 
That it wasn’t just him and his stupid head, making up things that weren’t there. 
“Hey Steve?” 
“Yeah?”
“Who was the speech for?” 
Steve sighed. 
“Rule one of the whole queer thing Wheeler, you don’t out other people.” 
Like there were written rules or something.
(Maybe there were, it wasn't like Mike knew.)
“Was it Will?” Mike asked, and pretended like he didn’t desperately want the answer to be yes. 
 Steve didn’t say a thing, but the fact he nearly took the car off the road was a pretty solid answer in itself. 
“We’re not playing guessing games about other people’s sexualites!” He yelped, hands gripping the steering wheel as Mike felt a wave of relief crash through him. 
Will was--maybe, possibly, also--queer too. 
Which didn’t make this any better but it--wasn’t the not preferred outcome, either. 
(It wasn’t just Mike struggling alone, trying to figure out if his best friend wanted to be more than that, if El was breaking up with him and more and more because she wanted to be less than a girlfriend, if things were changing and he would have no one--) 
“I’m not out here picking Will up from a gay bar dipshit, I’m picking you up, and this is your reminder that next time, you should just come talk to me!” Steve ranted. 
Mike snorted.
He absolutely hated Steve Harrington, but--
“Fine.” He said, talking so low he could barely be heard. “I will.”
--maybe Mike did have someone in his corner after all. 
Even if it was just Steve. 
xXx
Bonus: 
“Between you and me, that kid is gayer than a two dollar bill.” 
“Wow Robin,” Steve teased, “Isn’t that like, a slur or whatever?” 
He snickered when she rolled her eyes and threw a roll of stickers his way. 
“I’m just saying. Did you see the way he was looking at you when you were showing off your stupid biceps?” Robin said, nudging her shoulder into Steve’s. “Will’s gonna have a rude awakening later if he hasn’t already.” 
Steve nudged her back, but kept his gaze on the Party as they trooped their way from Family Video to the arcade next door, the realization that they now had connections for free rentals making them downright gleeful. 
Will was the last one in, and Steve watched him hurry so as to not be left behind. 
He didn’t like to worry about the dipshits, but Robin was just putting voice to a thought Steve knew he wasn’t the first person to have.
And if he noticed it, then it didn't exactly bode well as being kept a secret. 
“Should we like…talk to him about that?” He asked after a long moment, turning to face Robin.
“Us?” She pointed at herself, before turning her finger on Steve. “Why us?” 
“Well you’re into girls.” He gave her a pointed look, glad that the store was empty of everyone but them so he could actually voice all this. “And I’m fine with it.”
“Yeah I’m sure he wants to know you’re fine with it.” Robin taunted, but she had her thinking face on, eyes out to the middle distance. “I barely know him. You barely know him--he’s the quietest out of all your kids.”
“They’re not my kids.” Steve argued automatically. “They're like a weird cross between shitty siblings and that kid in your class who never leaves you alone.” 
A fact Steve no longer took for granted, even if he made it sound like the worst thing ever.
“I just think it’d be nice if he knew that he had people in his corner, you know? Who supported him and shit.” 
“Steve, you compared my crush to a muppet, that wasn’t supportive.” Robin countered, but it too was on automatic. 
Softer she admitted; “You’re right though. If I had known other queer people, if I had known people would accept me...it would have made things a lot easier.”
A very long pause, in which both of them stewed for a moment, before Robin abruptly slapped her hand down on the table.
“Okay, you got me. We're doing it, and I'm making us a speech.”
“A speech?” 
“Yes dingus, a speech. I know you, you’re terrible when you’re put on the spot with this kinda thing, and trust me with things like this the moment will be spontaneous.”
“It’s Will, how spontaneous can it be?” Steve challenged back. “Getting a dinner order out of him is a chore.” 
“Stop whining and hand me that notepad. Im telling you its gonna happen when you least expect it and then you're gonna thank me later.”
“It better not happen without you.”  Steve sighed, but passed the notepad over.
God the things he did for those stupid kids. 
Bonus x2
Steve would later go on to use the speech on himself, in a gas station bathroom mirror, eyes wide and freaked out after Eddie Munson called him Big Boy in a van they stole, while Robin snickered behind him. 
He would turn on her, snapping that she; “Help me with this dammit!” 
In return she’d remind him that Tammy might sing like a muppet but Eddie  was the guy who stepped on lunches while giving speeches at lunch and sticking his tongue out, and “Really Steve, I think I won best gay awakening, here.” 
Which would promptly start an argument regarding how it wasn’t a competition, which would continue for another fifteen or so odd years before finding its way as a reference into both of their speeches as each other’s best man. 
Nancy and Eddie wouldn’t get it at either wedding, but Mike would.
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ryanmarshallryan · 3 days
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I've been having a lot more people reach out about the vore stories I write, so thought I'd throw it out there if anyone wants to donate to help me have more time to write stories, or likes my style and wants to commission something let me know over dm!
I usually write thinking from a prey perspective, but was feeling hungry after eating salads for a month and switched to pred for this story.
DIET BACKFIRED
I love my weight. I think my belly looks great on me. When I see those old statues of historical figures with dad bods I see myself and love it. But after gaining 25 pounds in a few months from stress, I decided to try out a diet for a bit, just to be cautious of my health. Man, it was hard. And this morning my hunger took control.
I was preparing a salad, heated up some chicken to mix in, sprinkled in some shredded cheese, spinach, lettuce, cucumber, tomato and such. All I could think about was how wonderful it would feel to have a full belly again. Not just feeling satisfied, but pigging out and shoving as much down my maw as possible. Feeling the gainer bug while also trying to diet was not going to work for me. I tore through my cabinet to find an old box of cookies. I opened the box, came to my senses and closed it, then decided I didn’t care and ate the remainder in one sitting. To try to slow myself down and tire out my palette, I tried to eat a bunch of lettuce, but then added a bunch of croutons and snacks without thinking. I still felt hungry, but just left the kitchen to stop myself.
Later, I hung out with my work-out buddy, Max, and vented about my hunger, “I’m still eating a lot! Just replacing chips with a lot of low fat snacks. So if the quantity of food I’m eating is the same, why am I always feeling sooooo hungry? Ugh.”
“Bro, sounds like you need a cheat day. But, hey, if you’re stressed about having too much high fat food, I can help you eat big while still holding back on the chips.”
“Well it can be helpful to sit with the feeling for a while. So if you start feeling hungry, write down exactly what you are craving and what that feels like. By the time you are done writing it out, if you’re still hungry for it… go for it. If the feeling passes, then move on,” Max continued.
“I’m sure we could try it, but I don’t see how much of a difference it’ll make.” I replied. I knew Max worked as some sort of private personal trainer or something on the side, so I felt inclined to believe him, but my stomach was doubtful.
After our workout, we visited a smoothie place and got large chocolate banana protein smoothies (after writing out what I was craving and waiting a moment before deciding to go through with it). I sucked mine down so fast I got a mild brain freeze.
“So how are you feeling? Hungry for another one?” Max asked, playfully placing a hand on my gut and giving it a quick rub.
“Ugh, I would totally go for a burger and fries right now… no, onion rings… actually both,” I replied, as Max handed me a notepad and pen. I wrote down the menu in my mind and thought about how it can be nice to feel so full without another care in the world.
“It’s been a few minutes… still hungry?” Max said with a sly smile.
“What do you think?” I asked him, lifting my gym shirt up to reveal my hairy belly, which gave a perfectly timed gurgle.
Max drove to my favorite burger joint and ordered a few meals and insisted on paying “This is my idea, don’t worry about it… for science!”
After downing two large burgers, a full bag of onion rings and a couple sides of fries, plus an apple that came with Max’s meal that he was too full to finish, I sat with my gut extended out in front of me.
Max leaned over to me, pulled my shirt up over my belly and patted it with his closed fist as if knocking at a door, “So how are you doing, hungry guy?” He put his ear to my side and listened intently to the stomach gurgles, occasionally making sounds of “Mmm,” “Yes, I see,” “Interesting.” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the absurdity of Max speaking to my belly.
“What’s so funny about listening to your gut? Intuitive eating is no joke,” Max said with a joking smile, “What is your stomach telling you?”
I thought for a moment, grabbed the notepad and wrote down ‘Though I should be full and done eating… Ice cream would hit the spot right now… Surely that would fill me up, and fill the void the low fat snacks have opened.’ I handed Max the written note.
Max looked from my belly to my eyes with a poker face, “I know just the place.”
In a few minutes we rolled up to Max’s apartment. Inside he pulled out some pints of cookies and cream ice cream and some mint chocolate chip. He handed me a spoon and opened the containers and sat across from me.
“Do you want me to get a bowl?” I asked.
“Nah. Try to intuitively eat. Just eat until your body feels done.”
“So… eat until there’s a nationwide ice cream shortage?”
Max threw his head back laughing, “If we get to that point, maybe we’ll pivot to a new tactic, but for now, feel free to eat as much as you want.” He looked endearingly into my eyes, and I felt my gut rumble, whether by digestion or hunger, or both, I couldn’t discern.
As I scooped down ice cream, we chatted about hunger, about scarcity mindset when it comes to food, and he told me some interesting facts about digestion and how to make room in one's stomach faster than normal by laying on the left side.
“Is this the stuff people need to know for your personal training work and such?” I asked.
“Personal training stuff?” Max gave a look of puzzlement then laughed, “I think I said that sarcastically a while back. A few guys pay me to help them gain weight and eat big. So sort of a personal trainer, but kind of the opposite effect that most would expect.”
“Ohhh, this tactic makes a bit more sense now,” I replied, continuing to eat the ice cream.
“Well, I thought if I encouraged you to experience the ability to eat as much as you want without restriction, you’ll realize that you don’t have to eat everything. It sounds like you are always hungry, because you are always denying that you want food.”
“Hmm, I suppose that’s true,” I went to scoop up more ice cream then realized I’d eaten all of it.
“How are you feeling?” Max asked, rubbing the top of my belly.
I felt a grumble deep in my stomach.”I can definitely feel my belly full of food, but I also could definitely do the whole thing all over again.”
Max considered me for a moment, then started listing off some random digestion facts again. He put his head on my stomach again, lifted my shirt off my body, listened again, took his hands and gently opened my mouth wide and peered down my throat, until I started laughing and he couldn't hold my mouth open.
“What are you doing? You think my stomach is gonna speak back to you in English?” I joked.
“No… but I wonder if I could better understand your hunger if I could better see inside your gut. Hmmm, maybe even just peering down your esophagus…”
“Don’t you need a fancy scope for that or something?”
“Not if you’re willing to relax your throat for a moment…” Max said. I shrugged, and he straddled my lap and shoved his head into my mouth. I could feel his energetic breathing against my tongue and wondered how on earth he could see anything down my throat with his head blocking light from the outside.
I heard a muffled “I’d like to see a bit further…” and felt him push his whole body forward into me. His shoulders shoved their way into my maw and stretched my jaw wide like an opera singer. I choked a little bit feeling his scratchy hair make contact with my uvula and the bottom of my tongue. I reflexively closed my lips over his skin and swallowed as the hair and breath tickled my maw. I realized that my peristalsis must have taken a bit of control, because I was surprised to see that I was looking down at his lower back with his arms pinned to his sides. I felt his nipples and pectoral muscles sliding against my tongue and felt his head squeezed tightly through my lower esophagus. What was going on? Though the sensation was filling me with dopamine and adrenaline, I realized that somehow my body was getting ready to eat a whole human, so I mentally prepared myself to try and regurgitate him. But instead I felt him force himself deeper into my throat, as his feet pushed off against the floor, and his upper torso wriggled and squirmed to slide deeper into me. I felt a sloshing in my gut, and heard a muffled intake of air and the continuation of more digestion facts being spewed out of Max’s ever curious mind obsessed with digestion.
Since Max seemed so intent on getting inside my stomach, and I knew I would need to breathe soon, I decided to help him out. I lifted his legs up over my head and felt gravity pulling him down my throat. I pulled his gym shorts and such off him and felt the interesting texture of his little belly over his abs, mixed with gym sweat and belly hair, felt past his hard on and groin, and his thick thighs as they all passed over my tongue and against my soft palate. My stomach finally began to feel full, as it sloshed with its soupy contents of dinner encasing Max’s squirming upper body. I knew Max’s hands had been freed from the tight grip of my esophagus as my inner stomach felt a peculiar tickling sensation with Max rubbing it from the inside. I felt him poke around and heard his muffled casual observations about my stomach.
I felt Max’s muscles seize up as he put his legs together tightly and let them slide easily down my throat. I felt his cold feet tickle my tongue, uvula and esophagus until they finally plopped into my stomach and I felt my throat open enough for me to exhale and breathe in more oxygen finally.
I took a few moments to gather my thoughts and catch my breath, feeling Max move around and curl up into a ball inside my tight stomach. I looked down to see the bulge his head made toward the top of my belly, with other odd bumps sticking out that I assumed were his knees and feet pressing up against my stomach walls. I felt his clammy hands push up against my stomach as he surveyed his new situation.
“Max, I forgot to write this craving down first.” I said, jokingly.
“Don’t worry I already did!” I heard him shout back, hearing it almost come up through my own throat. I stared in confusion at the opened notepad next to me and flipped to the last written note that read ‘Ice cream and everything else isn’t satisfying enough. Maybe eating me will do the trick. - Max’
My belly gurgled in surprise, “You planned for me to eat you?”
“I did shove myself down your throat, didn’t I?”
“But why would you -”
“Hey you didn’t try and stop me, bud,” he replied. I felt a pat against my belly, and shivered a little bit.
“Yeah, but I thought you just wanted to glance inside, but you wriggled in deeper!”
“Are you mad that I did?” Max asked. I felt him shifting his weight inside my gut and resting into me.
I considered the events of the night. I had really craved a day to just eat all I wanted, and Max gave all that to me and more. Even though I definitely didn’t expect him to force his way onto the menu, my belly felt much more satiated than it had been. “... I’m not mad at you… just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into… but I do have a confession.”
“What is it?” Max asked, shifting around and pressing his head up against the place where my hand was resting on my belly.
“I could go for some orange sherbert right now… I think your diet tactic failed.” My stomach added a large grumble and groan in agreement.
“Failed for you, maybe. But I’m cozy!” Max tried to stretch out a bit and I watched my stomach bulges shift in a funny manner, and felt my belly tighten and knead Max in response. “Plus, I think I figured out why you’ve been so hungry lately.”
“And what have you discovered?”
“That you should have eaten me ages ago! Once I’m digested into belly fat you’ll have more energy stored in your cells for longer, so you won’t be as hungry all the time! It’s simple science,” Max replied matter of factly.
“I’m not sure that science is sound, but as long as you’re happy, I’m fat and happy.”
“If you don’t think the science is sound, maybe you ought to repeat the experiment. Have a cheat day every once in a while,” Max replied, as he curled into a tight ball again and let my stomach relax and get to work over him. “I know I’ve been seeing that cute guy at the gym drooling over your gut, you know, the one who always wears that green hat? I’m sure he’d love to be a part of your next cheat day once you’ve had enough of your salads and diet again.”
I enjoyed the peace of feeling Max getting comfortable deep in my gut. I took deep breaths and felt my diaphragm move Max around slightly as my chest expanded and contracted. “Maybe I’ll ask him. But I’ll leave it up to him whether he wants to take it as far as you did tonight.” I rubbed my belly and stared, mesmerized at the lumpy spots on my belly indicating Max’s body relaxing against my stomach walls. I felt his heartbeat in polyrhythm against mine, with his breathing patterns tickling my stomach walls. I tasted the lasting flavors of his skin on my tongue, mixed with ice cream and other sustenance I had downed throughout the evening. Good thing we worked out first, to balance out this sharp intake in calories. So I suppose even if I had a cheat day from my diet, eating a whole human balances out to be healthy, right?
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nerdieforpedro · 1 day
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A Poor Plan to Confess
Dieter Bravo x plus size female reader (Moon Pie)
This is fic is for readers 18+ MDNI
Word Count: about 2.1k
Warnings: Dieter being a bit rude, porn use, mention of masturbation, teasing, improper toy use?, very bad communication, some mentions of sexual activities and acts, Nerdie is unsure of what she wrote
Summary: Dieter is doing his best to stay sober. You have a large part in his plans. They aren’t well thought out.
Notes: Written for the Dieter Bravo Brain Rot Server Challenge. @wannab-urs brought me back to Dieter, originally I didn’t have any ideas for this and then boom! 🤯 I had a few. Thanks to @missladym1981 for beta reading for me. 😘
Main Masterlist / Dieter Bravo Masterlist
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A joke between old friends. Dieter was doing well. Three years sober, well from the harder drugs. He still had the occasional joint and alcohol. You weren’t really into the weed, thought it stunk to high heaven. Dieter always managed to find some really fragrant strains though, smelled like incense. Type you would burn laying on a chase couch in a fancy silk robe. Maybe smoke one of those long cigarettes except it had bubbles coming out of it. Dieter bought you one and told you to make bubbles come out of it over FaceTime.
The two of you have many silly jokes over the years. Some about video games, some about animals, some about his job and yours. He never wanted to hear about relationships and didn’t mention any of his to you. You asked why one day because friends normally at least mention if they’re dating someone or not and Dieter flat out told you, “I don’t need to have the image of you fucking somebody in my head.” Had you not been as secure as you were, you’d take offense, but you left it alone, keeping it in the back of your mind.
One thing Bravo hadn’t joked about thankfully was his sobriety, finally taking it seriously. He told you that if he ever called you mentioning coke or pills to lock him up and prevent him from calling anyone for the drugs. This was another joke. He even bought you handcuffs, zip ties and some bondage tape. His assistant dropped it off with a quizzical look on their face. You smiled and put them in your office. You knew why they had that look, you two as just friends and Dieter’s never given you anything like that before. Like an idiot, you googled how to use the zip ties and tape, ending up on Pornhub and unaware that someone was banging on your door.
When the next pop-up blocked your screen again, that was when you heard, “Hey! You alive in there?! Open the hell up! What kind of friend are you?” Running downstairs, you open up the door recognizing the voice, Dieter’s at your door. It’s 11:30 at night. He stares at you and you wonder why. Ah…I’m in my nightgown. My pink satin one to match the handcuff fuzz. I don’t think I washed my hands, and they smell like…fuck.
You now know why.
“Moon Pie, you got someone up in here? Didn’t know you had someone. I need your help your help though, just a room.” He pleads at your doorstep, before you can answer, whatever ad has finished and there’s loud moaning from the video you had been watching. His eyes cut upward to where the noise is coming from. “Or maybe not. I didn’t think you watched porn.”
Putting your hands on your hips, “Anyone can watch porn Dieter. Am I not allowed according to some weird ass rule you have? I have sex sometimes too!” His eyes went wide as you stepped aside letting him in and he raised his hands to signal defeat, though he did laugh when you said the word sex.
“You can’t even say fuck Moon Pie. Listen, let’s not talk about that. I need you to keep me here. I’m feeling like I may need to make a bad call. I did give my assistant my phone, but I don’t want to chance it. You still got that box?” He pays your shoulder, plopping down on the couch.
“Go find your silly box yourself Dieter. I’m going back upstairs.” Waving your hands, you start upstairs, making it up three stairs before some slaps are heard from your laptop in your room. You really need to turn that off.
“To finish your porn instead of helping your friend?” He popped up met you at the bottom of the stairs, “Come on! You still have the tools, right?” His hands ran up your arms. This man. Despite showing up unannounced, late, interrupting some ‘me time’ and requesting he use tools you don’t know how to use save for the handcuffs, you’d still help him out. Even if he could be troublesome and rude at times, he always supported you in work endeavors and listened to you talk way too much about Final Fantasy games. He blames you for knowing about crystals and different jobs like paladin and black mage.
You didn’t answer him and walked upstairs to your room, to turn the porn off but the screen was frozen, playing the same moan ever and over. The image had a man zip tied to a pole while standing as a woman sucked him off. They both were letting out a combined moan. Swallowing hard, Dieter watched you switch your weight between your large hips, he removed his robe and brown t-shirt leaving himself in his brown pajama pants and removing his gray socks. “Moon Pie. Have you ever done that sort of thing? I doubt it.” His voice snapped you after your haze, turning to look at him, confusion dots your face.
“Why did you remove your shirt? I just need to tie you up and prevent you from leaving right? Put your shirt back on Dee.” His chest only has a small splattering of dark hair on his golden skin. He lays across your bed grinning. “Wait how long am I supposed to keep you here? You’re not getting me arrested.”
“I was hot and until I don’t feel like using. Where’s the box?”
“Stay there, it’s in my office.” You’re back momentarily with the fabled box and open it, taking out the handcuffs, zip ties and tape. “Here which do you want me to use? I’m tired.” Dropping the box on the bed, he frowns, you’re not playing along, you see annoyed. Shouldn’t you be happy he’s across your bed? Dieter is, why aren’t you?
You are tired sure, but you’re hornier and more aware that Dieter is not going to want anything to do with relieving any frustration you have. Holding your hands palms out, “Just tell me what you want me tie you up with so I can set up the guest room.”
“Hey, why are you pissed at me? I’m not leaving until you help me, you said you would.” Dieter scoots to the edge of the bed and leans on his elbows. “Are you really that mad I stopped you from finishing your porn? You don’t need it.” He picks up the handcuffs out of the box and studies the pink fuzz. It looks about the same shade as your nightgown. Moon Pie hasn’t used these has she? No, they don’t look used. I think. These are mine, I bought them for her to use with me. She shouldn’t be watching porn. I need to be the toy.
“Damn it Dieter! I’m not just your friend, I’m a woman who has needs no matter if you wanna think about it or not! Fuck you!” Charging at him, you grab his shoulders and knock him back on the bed, pinning him to bed. He slaps the handcuffs on your wrist and his. “What the hell?! They’re only supposed to go on you not me!”
Bravo licks his lips and turns his head to the side to kiss your hand after pulling his wrist to his mouth. “Oh, I’ve always liked the idea of you in handcuffs. You should fuck me Moon Pie.” His curved nose inches closer to your hand and sniffs it. He has your scent now, sticking one of your fingers into his mouth and pulling it back out.
The sensation from his lips went straight to your cunt and you stifled a moan. He will not have his way; you can ensure even if you’re handcuffed to him. “You said you couldn’t picture me fucking Dee? Are you looking for that much of a distraction?” You moved to sit beside him on the bed, but he pulled you back on top, his free hand roaming freely over your love handles. “Dee, I’m not just going to be used for you staying sober.”
Leaning forward, his face connected with your neck, licking it, “I’ve been using you to stay sober since I finish rehab three years ago. I knew if I went back, it would disappoint the hell out of you.” His teeth bit into your neck and a whimper escaped, small but it was enough to encourage him. “I didn’t want to think of someone fucking you other than me. I’m sure you have; they’re flies drawn to honey.” His hand ran from your rolls to your ass squeezing it. “If I’m going to stay sober for you, I should have you, shouldn’t I?” Rolling his hips up into yours, he licks the bite and lets go of your ass slapping it.
Dropping your hips, you press right into his clothed bulge, feeling it throb against your bare cunt. “You’re insane Dieter, how does that make any sense….?” Unfortunately, he’s making it so much worse, your nipples are visible through your nightgown, erect as you leak onto his pants from your core. “This is only because you stopped me earlier with your stupid request.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself Moon Pie. Only I’m going to see you like this from now on, right?” The pads of his fingers trail up your spine and pull down one of the straps of your nightgown letting a breast become fully exposed. He licks it before blowing on it, eliciting another whimper. “Tell me I’ll be the only one. I’ll take the handcuffs off and make sure you come. Don’t be difficult tonight. Not when I need you.” He doesn’t wait for your answer before taking it in his mouth, and sitting up, pulling you into his lap. Instinctively, both of your hands grab his head, pulling his one hand back. He disconnects from your nipple to yelp from his shoulder suddenly going back.
You grin and try to reach for the key that’s in the box since he’s distracted, but Dieter gets on his knees and pulls on his wrist, having your arm come back toward him and making you fall face first into the bed. “Dieter let me get the key, then I can lock you in another room. Clearly you need to be.” His fingers trace your thighs but don’t go any higher, sighing, he lays down next to you.
“You seriously don’t want to have sex with me? Even after I tell you I want you to be my only one? So cold to me.” He pouts. This man is seriously pouting after he’s teased you? He doesn’t move as you get the key and unlock yourself. You consider handcuffing both of his hands but release him as well. Moving to the edge of the bed, you stand and turn off your laptop then return to sit on the bed.
“You’ve got to do better than trying to guilt me into it. You’re horrible at this.” You laugh as does he. If it had been anyone else, you’d never speak to them again at minimum, Dieter rolls on his side and kisses your thigh.
“We’ve been friends how long? You know I’m shit at this. I feel like I should ask, you’re not going to have me arrested for this are you?” You poke the scruff on his cheek.
“No, though I should. You’re insane Dieter Bravo. We’ll sleep on it.” You lay back and scoot up to the head of the bed, closing your eyes.
“Did you want to finish your porn? Or make our own? It will be Moon Pie’s debut!”” Slinks up the bed and lays his head on your chest, kissing your collar bone.
“You’re a dumbass Dieter. I would tie you up but you’d like it too much. Go to sleep.” Placing your fingers in his hair to scratch his scalp makes him purr, wrapping a leg around one of yours.
“Keep scratching my head like that and we won’t be sleeping at all you cheeky Moon Pie. I’ll be under that gown soon.” His face found its way back to your neck, licking the teeth marks he made earlier. Letting out a soft groan, you pull on Dieter’s hair, so he pulls his head back. “Jokes on you, I enjoy my hair being pulled. Manipulate me more.” His grin is criminal, he should be arrested for that if anything.
It wasn’t even two hours before Dieter had your legs up around his waist. He’s temperamental and a horrible communicator but damn if he didn’t have you call him an Oscar winner while he rutted into you from behind giving you your third orgasm before one in the morning.
Trash Panda Pals 🦝: @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @sp00kymulderr @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @titlee78 @tinytinymenace @magpiepillsjunior @soft-girl-musings @morallyinept @rhoorl @wannab-urs @survivingandenduring @missladym1981 @yorksgirl @pedroshotwifey @heareball
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supercorpkid · 3 days
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The Secret Life Of Lena Luthor
Supergirl. Lena Luthor x Reader!
Word Count: 2785.
Lena Luthor has a secret. Probably many of them, but there’s only one that bugs you so much.
Who are those friends of her? Why are they so tight that you feel like they are in some sort of cult? Why does it look like she would die for them? And how come they are always more important than you?
You see, the last one's been bothering you for a while now.
Some time last year.
The world is saved. Again. For the third time this month. And while Lena sits to celebrate with her friends/ teammates she is content. A kind of feeling she hasn’t experienced much before, but that’s been constant ever since the big fight. Ever since Lex is gone gone.
She looks at J’onn and M’gann reminiscing about something from their planet. Looks at Alex and Kelly swooning over something cute she is sure Esmé just did. Nia looks at Brainy as if he is the most interesting being and all of existence. All of them have somebody. Well, she looks at Kara alone. But Kara is never truly alone. She has Supergirl. All these people around her and the people she met in different universes.
But Lena? Outside of this room she barely has anyone. Sam, Ruby, Jess. She scrambles to find more names.
So Lena looks around, more certain than she’s ever been before. She needs someone. Someone outside this group of friends, so she can get back some sort of normality she most certainly lost since she discovered her witchy ancestry and joined the super friends for real.
And then Lena finds you. 
You run through the door of the Lena Luthor Foundation, and since she wants to be more hands on with everything, Lena is right there to see it.
“Do you, um, take strays?”
“Strays, ma’am?” The receptionist asks, raising one perfect eyebrow at you. “You mean like, cats?”
“What? No! I mean me.” You smile widely. “I mean, do you take walk-ins? Like, can I just walk in and find myself a station and start working?”
“Oh. Ah.” She looks around for help. Unsure of what to tell you. And because Lena herself is around, she jumps in to help.
“Hi.” Lena shows you her hand. “Lena Luthor. How can I help you,” she looks at both of your hands. No ring. “Miss?”
“Y/N.” You introduce yourself, shaking her hand. 
“You want to work on something?”
“Well, you see, I have this idea. It’s really bugging me and keeping me awake at night.” You point at your own face. “I’m sure you can tell. But I don’t have everything I need to work on it. It says online it’s what this foundation is for.”
“Well, we don’t work on everything. Our resources are vast but still limited. There’s a board. If you want to present your idea.” Lena suggests and you shake your head agreeing, then just like that you’re running out of there as fast as you came in. She looks back at the receptionist with a smile. “Strange little cat, that one.”
You don’t give her time to move on from you at all, when you run back in. A prototype in hand, and several loose papers on the other. 
“Ok, I’m ready.” You smile at her and she furrows her brows.
“Oh, I didn’t mean right now.”
“Please, ma’am. I need to sleep.” And to demonstrate, only one of your eyes blink. She seems to take pity on you.
“Well then, come in. Let’s see what I can do for you. And please, call me Lena.” 
And what she can do for you, is help you with every little thing you need help with. And what you can do for her, is help her see there’s more to life than work and a few friends.
Present days.
“You’re running off.” You mumble. Eyes still shut, voice thick with sleep. 
“Emergency. Sorry, my love.” You hear shuffling so you know she is getting ready to run off to her super secret, super important duties.
“What is it this time?” You finally open your eyes and watch her putting her clothes back on. “Kara got stuck on a tree and you have to go get her down?”
“Oh no, my pretty stray cat. I only climb trees to save your pretty butt.” She jokes, coming closer to kiss your lips. 
“Lena.” You beg when she moves away from you. “Please stay. Please wake up with me. Please let me make you eggs and a strong coffee.”
“That would be lovely.” You open your mouth to repeat, stay. But she knows it’s coming, so she speaks before you. “Can’t today. Rain check?”
You press your lips together, annoyed at her way to deal with this. But she doesn’t notice, because she’s already running out the door one shoe on, the other one still in hand.
“Have a great day, Lena.” 
You don’t want to be jealous of Kara. You’re not even the jealous type. But this whole ‘my friends call and I run out the door’ is not working anymore. Not that it ever did. But recently this has been bugging you extra hard.
And when things bug you this much, you can’t simply forget that easily. You can't even sleep on it.
"Heeey," Lena grabs the bags from your hands, giving you a quick kiss on your way inside. "glad you came, I felt bad leaving you this morning."
"Yeah." You place the rest of the bags on top of the counter. "Maybe we should talk about that."
"Definitely. But after a nice dinner, maybe?" She gives you a little smile, and you're quick to accept. 
The talk doesn't come right after dinner, when Lena climbs on your lap and you two start a heavy make out session, you decide it is better to wait a little. 
"Shit. Fuck." Lena says out of breath, parting your lips. You look down at your hands still on her waist.
"What? Already?" 
"No, not that." Lena laughs, and you notice something vibrating in her pants. 
"Oh," You raise your eyebrows playfully. "Someone's packing."
Lena takes her phone out of her pocket, and you roll your eyes at it. She reads the name, and starts apologizing right away. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She gets up looking at the phone.
"Are you serious?" You ask, but she is already answering her phone after mouthing one more 'sorry'.
"Kara, I'm in the middle of something really important. This better be a 10 or higher." She paces around the room and you watch her from your place on the couch. "Shit, ok. Ask Supergirl to come pick me up. Yeah, ok. See you soon."
Lena looks at you with pleading eyes, and you look up trying to hold the tears and the anger inside you. "Darling, I'm really sorry, but it's an –"
"Emergency." You complete her sentence and her face drops, looking at you.
"I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. I know I did the exact same thing this morning…"
"This morning? Lena! You've been running off every time Kara called you ever since I've met you! I don't get it. What's up with all these emergencies? Why is Kara always more important than us?"
Supergirl's feet touch on the balcony and you hear a light tap on the balcony door. She looks embarrassed, like she heard more than she wanted to. She waves lightly and points to the city with her head, so Lena knows it's time to go.
"I promise I'll tell you everything, but I really have to go now."
“If you leave right now, you won’t find me here when you get back.”
“No, please Y/N. Please wait. I’ll tell you everything when I get home, I promise. Please stay, eat dessert, and make yourself at home. I promise I’ll be back soon.”
So you wait. An hour. Two hours. Three hours later and you’ve seen enough of television, eaten enough of her food and got tired of wasting everyone's time. It is clear Lena doesn't take you seriously and that you'll never be her first priority. So you leave.
It's only in the morning when you grab your phone to notice the missing calls and texts from your… girlfriend? Ex? You haven't decided yet. But if you're being honest things aren't looking too hot for her.
Lena has helped you many times before. You have no problem admitting you are where you are right now because of her. If your invention hadn't played out, you wouldn't have found a new job and you wouldn't be working on something you are very passionate about. 
But she means more than that to you. With Lena you can talk about anything. You can be your quirky self without any judgements. In fact, you always thought she seemed to appreciate it. Now, you're not so sure.
She's always hiding something. Always running off. One phone call and she is gone. No time to even tell you what she is running towards. You feel like you're dating someone who has a secret life. And you can't help but think you're the secret part. 
You're still finding energy to answer her latest text, when you hear the doorbell. You force yourself out of bed, and open the door to see Lena right on the other side.
You furrow your brows, "What are you wearing?"
Lena stares down at her outfit, a large hoodie and sweatpants. "I was fairly uncomfortable in my jeans and so Kara let me borrow something." She looks at the hem of the pants. "She is a lot taller."
"Glad you came to my house wearing some other girl's clothes." You make space for her, because you know she is not leaving and you don't want to have this conversation out in the open.
"It's Kara's." She justifies.
"Yeah, and who's Kara, exactly? Is she just your best friend? Is she your lover? Your dealer? Your boss? Why are you always running out the door when she calls?"
"Those are fair questions. Well, not the dealer and lover part. But I guess I should explain why I always go when she calls.”
You look at your coffee machine. It's too early for this conversation. For the truths you'll inevitably have to listen.
"Coffee?" You ask her, but it's mostly because you need it so badly.
"I'd die for a cup." 
You set up the coffee machine while Lena makes her way to the other side of the counter, sitting on one of the high stools to look at you. 
"I'm sorry I didn't come back home sooner." Lena starts, and you sigh.
"I stood there like a ghost and I don't even know why."
"I don't want to run off every time, it's just – Sometimes I'm the only one who can help so they call me." You stand there waiting for more, for an explanation. "I told Kara to only call me for real emergencies from now on."
"You know, you said a bunch of stuff, but you still haven't told me what kind of emergencies they need you for." 
You're not stupid, it's not like you haven't put two and two together. Supergirl shows up to pick up Lena right after Kara calls for an emergency? Yeah, like they have Supergirl on their speed dial so she can offer Lift services when one of them needs it. It's obvious Lena is a part of a group that helps National City or whatever. It was actually kind of obvious because every time she ran off for an 'emergency', you only had to turn on the news to see something crazy happening in town.
"I'm a part of the Superfriends." She bites her lower lip when you don't show any real reaction. "It's supposed to be a secret."
"Lena, Supergirl showed up at your house yesterday to give you a ride. It wasn't a well-kept secret, anyways."
"Wait, so. You knew?" Lena's voice comes out so shocked it's in a high pitch you have never heard before.
"Had my suspicions, sure." The conversation is briefly put to a stop while you pour coffee for both of you, but even before you have your first sip, Lena speaks.
"I don't understand why you are mad at me then. If you knew all along what I was doing, how could you be mad? How could you think Kara is something other than my friend?"
"Well, first of all, I had my suspicions, but not convictions because you never told me anything so I could've been completely off. And second of all, I didn't know all along. I had to go slowly piecing it together by myself because you wouldn't come out and be honest with me. And third, and most importantly, how can I not be mad when you left me high and dry at your place last night and ran off with Kara again?" 
"Nia was hurt! I had to go help out. How could I not have run out?"
"That's not what I'm saying. You don't get it, do you?" She doesn't. She looks at you so damn lost you know for sure she doesn't get it at all. "I'm not telling you shouldn't go help your friends. I'm asking you to just tell me about it. Don't tell me that you have to go because you have an emergency. Tell me Nia is hurt and I will tell you to go help her, I'll offer you my help. I not only won't be upset about you leaving, but I'll admire you even more."
You round the counter, looking at her with doe-eyes. 
"I'm tired of this double-life. It's like you're two different people. I – I don't know what to tell you, I just feel like I'm dating a CIA agent who's been lying to me about who she is. And it sucks."
Lena blinks. "I know." Because she didn't even realize what she was doing in the first place, but now that you have laid all on the table for her, it makes more sense than ever. She felt the same thing before and she can't believe she's been doing the same thing. "God, I know how you feel. And I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. You have every reason to be upset. Please forgive me. I promise I will be completely honest from now on."
"That's all I'm asking."
"Well," Lena looks at your coffee mug to see you didn't have much of it. "Why don't you drink some more? I feel like you'd have to be pretty awake for what I have to say next."
"Oh…kay?" You gulp on your coffee and look at her wide-eyed.
"Well, it's complicated. But, more than a year ago, before we met, I set out to find more things about my mother." Lena says and you agree with your head, because she has told you before all of her story and the fact that she lost her mom when she was younger. "It turns out that my mother was a witch."
"Huh?"
She takes a deep breath. "And so am I." 
"You're a what, now?"
"You wanted the whole truth." Lena smiles sheepish and you furrow your brows hard at your new discovery. Yep, you didn't see this one coming. Honestly, if she had told you Kara was Supergirl, you would've been a lot less surprised.
"I did, didn't I?" It's a lot to process, but you take one good look at Lena and you know it took everything in her to tell you this, and so, even though you don't truly understand what it means and what she does exactly, you know she needs support right now. "So my girlfriend is a witch and a genius and she is part of the Superfriends, and helps out with saving the world and stuff?"
"I guess you could put it like that." She says, tentatively.
"You're awesome, Lena. I'm happy you told me everything. It helps me understand you a lot better, and it only makes me love you more."
Lena's eyebrows raise and she can't help her surprised face, "You love me?"
"Yeah, I do. I love you."
"I love you too, my little stray cat."
You feel your worries melt away in the kiss and you're happy Lena trusts you enough to tell you about this other part of her life. It also feels good to know her secret and where she runs off to everytime. Plus, how did you get so lucky? She's hot, she's smart, she's a goddamn goddess and she also saves the world? She is more than you could ever dream, and you’re so glad she is yours.
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1dmonthlyficroundup · 22 hours
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— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —
Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for March 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.
Happy reading!
* Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa [T, 6k, Louis/Harry]
Immediately after the words left his mouth, Louis wanted to face palm himself. Nerves always brought out joking as a deflection technique, it was almost an instinct.
Harry only looked up long enough to reply with a flat, “no,” before turning back to his book.
“Alright,” Louis said, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll, uh… leave you to it.”
OR Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts
* The Room Thief by @2tiedships2 [NR, 12k, Harry/Louis]
Louis: Can I come over? Need your help.
Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it.
Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch?
Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW.
Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.
When Louis comes home and is confronted by his knothead alpha flatmates, he knows it won’t result in anything good, but he didn’t expect to be left homeless, effective immediately. He definitely didn’t expect to fall for the specific knothead who stole his room.
* Half Agony, Half Hope by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox [E, 33k+, wip, Louis/Harry]
Harry had never believed the rumors of the beast at the manor on the hill. They sounded like something from Twilight or an old Hollywood horror film, a beautiful man who turned into a beast once a month and killed anyone who was unlucky enough to be stuck on the manor’s grounds.
Yeah, right. The manor was probably just creepy and old. Besides, it’s not like he had anything else to do.
Harry's had enough of his shit year. Had enough of his shit ex and the fact that he graduated from university with no idea what to do next or what to do with the grief. Ed dares him to spend a month at the crumbling Tomlinson manor, and Harry goes cause what else do you do when your life's fallen apart?
It's not really haunted anyway... is it?
* when the time is right by refusethyname / @refusethyname28 [E, 146k, Harry/Louis]
“Do you live in the cabin by yourself?” Louis then decided to ask.
“I do, well sort of, I have a cat.”
“A cat?” Louis then asked and Harry nodded happily.
“She’s a precious thing, but she always leaves me for this one customer who is staying at one of the cabins. His name is Tomlin-something, I can’t really recall,” Harry said, causing Louis to chuckle this time. The singer shook his head at Harry’s comment and smiled brightly at him. Harry was truly something else and Louis’ heart fluttered.
“He sounds like an absolute arse if he steals your cat,” Louis chuckled and Harry shook his head at that.
“On the contrary, he is extremely thoughtful, didn’t even mind it too much when I spilled my hot tea over him, how is your stomach by the way?” Harry then asked.
“If this is your way of trying to get me to undress again,” Louis joked and Harry’s cheeks grew bright red. The younger man started stammering some incoherent things and quickly averted his gaze, which Louis thought was absolutely adorable.
Or the cabin fic where falling in love underneath the northern lights only leads to heartbreak.
* I Found the Earth (Not Leaving Now) by mmaree / @zqua1d [M, 34k, Zayn/Liam]
Liam watches the ball of light as it traces the sky then starts to dip below the tree-line. It’s larger than any shooting star he has ever seen before.
He makes a wish.
Alien Zayn + Human Liam | A love story inspired by the song “If I Got You”
* Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet by flamboyo / @riverswater [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]
“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.”
Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.
* Scared That My Worst is the Best That I’ve Got by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [M, 5k, Harry/Louis]
So while Louis’ proposition is preposterous, it’s also the only compromise his brain seems willing to make at the moment.
Harry slowly raises his head to look at Louis. He’s standing on the other side of the kitchen, elbow resting casually on the edge of the counter next to the sink. His expression is soft and patient, and there’s delicate morning sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows behind him, setting his outlined silhouette aglow. He looks like an angel.
An angel in an old oversized adidas jumper with tattoos on his knuckles, but an angel all the same.
Harry’s voice comes out mumbled and much smaller than he’d like, but it is what it is. As Louis always says.
“Just shampoo?”
(Or five times Louis saves Harry from himself, and one time when Louis is the one that needs the saving).
* I’ll tell you something (I hope you’ll understand) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]
Louis insists that Harry stay off her phone and in the safety of Louis' room rather than risk moping in her own texting her ex-boyfriend. When Harry agrees on one condition, Louis' safe night in could become something else entirely.
* sunshine, baby! by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 106k, Harry/Louis]
Louis was the first one down the row for their group. If he hadn’t been they would have never met.
He was turned around, walking backwards and saying to Liam, “No, I’ll get you to a real footie match next,” when he bumped into someone.
“Oops,” Louis laughed, tripping over his own feet. A hand curled around his upper arm as he nearly fell over the seat in front of him. “Sorry about that, mate.”
He turned around, still teetering in his vans, to apologize again, but the words dried in his throat. Another hand gripped his other elbow, steadying him, but all Louis could see were green eyes and dimples.
“Hi,” the man laughed, a bright, bubbling sound. “Are you okay?”
Or Louis is in his first year of law school, Harry is a junior on the swim team dreaming of the Olympics, and they both agree that they don't have time for anything more than friends with benefits... right?
- Podfics -
* Truth or Drink by @kingsofeverything read by @podfic-pals [M, 6k, Louis/Harry]
Truth or Drink | Exes
Harry and Louis broke up years ago, and they're seeing each other again for the first time to play Truth or Drink. On camera.
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skzpvol · 15 hours
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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ THE BRIGHTEST STAR - bang chan ࿐ྂ
pairing: nonidol!bang chan x gn!reader
genre: angst, no comfort (i warned you)
warning: mentions of suicide, cursing, the entire drabble is full of hurt
words: 0.8k
synopsis: Chan visits you again. What will you say to you this time?
a/n (1): this drabble is triggering, so please if you are sensitive to the warnings DO NOT read. Your health is my priority and remember that you are not alone, you will never be. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. English is not my first language, so tell me if I made some mistakes.
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«hi my love, i’ve missed you. Do you remember what day is it? It’s our anniversary and I really can’t believe that we’ve come this far. The younger me would be so proud to hear I’ve been with the love of my life for six years now. And I would do anything to spend this special with you. Actually I don’t really want to celebrate. It would be useless if I’m alone. 
«I bought your favorite flowers today. Hope you will appreciate them. Do you remember the first time I bought you flowers? They were roses and you were so scared to tell me you were allergic. I felt guilty but when I saw you laughing I thought it was all worthy. Even tho I tried to kill you, hearing and seeing your laugh for the first time was like being transported to heaven. I immediately felt lighter and happier. You’ve always made me the happiest. It’s a shame that happiness is gone now. But it’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine. 
«the boys miss you too. You know, one week ago we met all together for the first time after the accident and I tried, I tried so hard to distract myself. I did everything I could, they did everything, but it was all pointless. I told them I was fine, that I felt like I was already moving on, but they were all lies. I can’t help it. I don’t want them to be worried. They’ve already suffered enough and I don’t to be another burden. 
«I wrote you a song. Yes, another one. It seems like you are still my biggest inspiration. I really want to sing it to you, but it’s not finished yet. You need to wait just a little more. I promise you, the next time I’ll come with the lyrics. Just wait for me. 
«why y/n? Why did you do this to me? Was I not enough? Did you feel like you couldn’t trust me? Why? Why did you not search for help? I would have been there. I would have listened to each of your worries. I would have stayed with you. I would have told you that everything was going to be okay, that you were not alone. So why did you never told me how you were really feeling? Fuck- why? I know that it’s anyone fault, but I feel like I’m the only culprit. I know that i should not be mad at you, but I am. I’m madly angry. I wanna scream, cry and at the same time let everything go. But you will still not come back to me. So why should I try anyway?
«I’ve always seen suicide like a way to die for cowards. I’ve always thought that people who chose it were selfish. But who am I to think about it like that now, if I wasn’t even capable of helping you? I’m the real selfish because in 6 fucking years I wasn’t be able to look into you, to look through you. You were suffering and I didn’t do anything. I tried to blame you when you told me you needed me, so who am I to fucking say you are the selfish one? I’m a mess. I’m a disaster. 
«the last time I saw you, you were happier. I remember that I even asked you why. You just told me “today is a beautiful day” and before I left you said “I love you, always will” for the last time. If I only knew. I read somewhere that a star burns brightest in its final moments and I get it now. Every time I look at the sky I always wonder if you are finally happy. When I look at the glowing stars I always think it’s your way to tell me that you are there. You are there and you are okay. You are protecting me. 
«I cry. A lot. Even now, I can’t stop crying. The guilt it’s really hard to bear. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling disgust towards myself. And you would probably be disappointed too if you saw me like this. You want me to be happy, but I can’t. Not without you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t look out for you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when I was supposed to. I’m sorry that i was the worst boyfriend you could ever ask for. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. 
«will I ever be able to see you again? I really hope so. But I’ll make sure to look at the sky every single night and look out for the brightest star. Because you are there, aren’t you? 
«please wait for me, I still have to sing you a song. You will be proud of me, I promise.
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a/n (2): hiii, how are you? I’m finally on school break! Sorry if I’m being inactive BUT, apart from school that is really stressing me out, I’m working on a bunch of things (a long ass fic and a smau :)) ). I probably already said this, BUT I’M GOING TO SEE MY STRAY KIDS IN JULY AFTER TWO YEARS, AND I’M THE HAPPIEST. I cannot really wait. Btw, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it. I also ask you to like it and tell me your opinion about this to help me to improve. Have a good day / night 🫶🏻
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thatbxolivia · 2 days
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nightmares
daddy!anakin x little!reader blurb
summary-you have nightmares and confide in your daddy for comfort
anakin had enough of your attitude. you were such a good girl all day, then bedtime came and you were being awful. you were kicking, kept getting out of bed, and would not stop whining and calling out.
at first, he indulged you. he figured you were just being a little more needy today, which he’s always told you was fine. he’s glad to give attention whenever you need it. but when it progressed to tantrums and kicking, you had crossed a line. but he didn’t want to punish you, he wanted to talk this out. he had a sneaking suspicion something was causing your outburst, and just putting you in timeout or a spanking wouldn’t solve the problem, it may even make it worse. and for what was about the seventh time that night, he heard your whining coming from your room. he stood up straight and fixed his shirt, making his way to you. he opened your door and took in the sight before him- cover strewn every which way, you in the middle with tears, and the room just a total mess.
“what’s gotten into you?” your daddy asked, crossing his arms. you’d definitely be cleaning this up in the morning.
“don’t wanna be alone!” you cried. “i’m not going to bed!”
“it’s almost midnight,” he said, rubbing his eyes. he was getting tired himself. “please tell me what this is about? you never act like this unless something is really bothering you.”
“so many bad dreams, daddy…” you trailed off. you sobbed, holding your head in your hands. you felt the bed sink next to you and looked up at your daddy. his face softened and he spoke just above a whisper.
“tell me about the bad dreams, baby.” he said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “i want to know. i want to help.”
“you- you- you die.” you cried again. “obiwan kills you. it’s the same every time!” you sobbed. “there’s so much fire, daddy, its awful.” anakin winced at your words- obiwan? killing him? death by fire? why?
“oh my god. that’s too grim for a baby, you poor thing. that would upset me, too. i’m sorry i didn’t listen to you at first.” he said, pulling you in for a hug. “it’s the movie we watched, someone died in the fire, remember?” he asked you, not fully convinced himself but not wanting you to worry.
“you’re right, daddy.” you said, wiping your eyes. daddy was right, it was just a dream and you had no reason to be afraid.
“obiwan loves us both very much. he wouldn’t ever hurt anyone, especially not us.” daddy told you reassuringly. he began to rub your back and you sighed, coming down from your freak out. “why don’t you sleep with me tonight? no bad dreams will get you when i’m there.” he suggested. you nodded and held your hands above your head, silently asking to be picked up. daddy carried you to his room, tucking you in and getting beside you. you fell asleep rather quickly, but anakin was awake and stirring in his thoughts.
would obiwan really kill him? was he destined to die? would he leave you all alone?
these were the thoughts swirling in his mind and he couldn’t get them out. it wasn’t until he fell asleep that they were able to stop as he fell into a dreamless sleep.
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tiny-tk · 3 days
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hi friends !! bit of a different post this time, but i wanna talk about disney and it’s place in the agere community.
i won’t get into specifics, but events in palestine r making a lot of people (including me) decide to boycott disney by not doing anything that lets them make money. if you don’t know about this, i rly rly encourage you to do ur own research (ideally while not in little space since it’s .. very rough topics) and make ur own choice on wether or not u wanna support them after knowing the full story of what’s going on n disney’s involvement.
this post is for littles who feel conflicted by the calls for a boycott!!
first of all, i know it can be scary to find out that something you’ve been giving money to for merch or subscriptions or whatever is going to a bad place. but no one is blaming you for that, and if you didn’t know then you didn’t know. but you can always change!!
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"why are people boycotting disney?"
i won't go in depth to keep this post little-safe, but essentially the israeli military is currently doing terrible things to the people of palestine, and disney is helping them fund and promote it. here's a couple links that go more in-depth if you want to learn, but i'd recommend not reading them while regressed:
https://insidethemagic.net/2023/11/disney-israel-palestine-boycott-jc1/
https://www.dailygamecock.com/article/2023/12/column-why-boycotting-for-palestine-gaza-is-important-opinion-vanderhorst#:~:text=There%20are%20currently%20three%20main,financially%20or%20through%20public%20statements.
but i mostly encourage you to try n find out on your own, rather than listening to some random tumblr user about it.
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“but disney is a huge comfort source for me.”
this doesn’t have to change. you don’t have to stop liking their movies n shows. you don’t have to stop loving your toys or books of disney characters. if something brings you comfort, that is sacred, and no one can take that away. a lot of disney media made me who i am today, and yet i’m still writing this post against the company, these things can both be true !!
similarly, agere is a safe space for so many people, which can be used to justify supporting things that really don't deserve our support, since people want to protect themselves by not finding out why. put bluntly, people knowing that there are problems, but choosing to ignore them, is part of the problem itself. if you feel at all capable of educating yourself, please do. it's so important.
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“ok, so what can i do?”
if you’ve decided to join the boycott, that’s wonderful!! all that is being asked, is to not spend money on anything from disney. so branded food, toys, a disney+ subscription, stuff like that. if you’re used to doing that a lot, here’s some alternatives!
. :+* get disney toys second hand - they’re pre-loved!! they’ve already started a life with someone, and they’re eager to continue it with a new kid
. :+* pirate shows n movies instead !! this can be a little tricky to figure out, but it’s how i watch pretty much everything hehe, and can be a lot of fun! alternatively, you could just borrow a friend’s subscription or buy dvds second hand if you have a dvd player.
. :+* get merch from independent sellers. this way, you still get brand new things with ur favorite disney characters, but you also get to support independent creators n not support disney the brand !! also, these are often higher quality than official products too, which is like bonus points.
. :+* if you're posting about somethin disney related, add a note that lets people know that you don't support the brand n encourages ppl to find out why for themselves
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it’s a tough change to make, but any help is better than no help. if you aren’t sure what i’m talking about, please do your own research. the scale of what’s happening in palestine is huge, and boycott movements like this have been proven to cause real positive change in the past. i won’t get mad at anyone for choosing not to boycott, but it’s important to me that as many people as possible consciously make that choice for themselves, instead of blindly following a company that’s using their money to hurt people.
hearing about terrible things happening is exhausting, regardless of how much you're doing to help. but try to remember that any action is better than nothing, especially with activism, and keep doing whatever you can. <3 take care of yourselves friends !!
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mars-ipan · 10 months
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Ya got any rants stored up? Long-burning hatred?
i FINALLY found one i’ve been holding onto this ask waiting for the opportunity.
i HATE how people treat people with anxiety disorders. it’s endless pity mixed with complete incompassion
like ok. obligatory i have generalized anxiety disorder here. a lot of things make me stressed and when i’m having bad anxiety attacks (which can last days and sometimes put me into month-long spells of misery) i get physically sick, to the point of throwing up and fever. i also tend to go nonverbal/low-verbal during these periods of time (usually bc i’m nauseous.) i’m also very prone to migraines and have a tic and wear a night guard due to jaw clenching etc etc you get the point it affects me.
when i share these symptoms with people (assuming they don’t have similar symptoms) i get a lot of frowny faces. “owh i’m sorry :( that must be awful how horrible“ and the like. and it’s never said in a way that’s actually kind. it’s said in the way people talk about those aspca commercials. and it’s never actually come from a place of genuine concern- it’s superficial pity apparently meant to placate me. i hate it
and that’s assuming i even get that reaction at all! usually when i try to explain to someone that i’m experiencing symptoms of some sort like “hey i’m sorry i can’t really be productive right now, i’ve got a lot of brain fog” i am ALWAYS dismissed. EVERY time. maybe it’s because i’m quite skilled at coping and masking. maybe it’s because my panic attacks don’t (always) look like wailing and thrashing and choking on air. but for some reason people don’t seem to understand that yes my anxiety disorder is actually disabling for me sometimes. i will ask for an accommodation i need, be compared to someone else with different needs from me, and then be told i need to just suck it up and deal with it. and i am SO! TIRED! OF! IT!!!! the amount of times i’ve told people “hey please don’t say that to me i’m prone to paranoia about xyz” and then been yelled at because “it’s not that serious take a joke” is ABSURD. hey maybe stop telling me my cough is covid bc now i have to spend the next 3 hours reminding myself that i don’t have any other symptoms asshole!!! jesus
and THEN when i actually DO find a way to cope or utilize the way my brain works or god forbid crack a fucking joke about it people get mad at me. “see i knew it wasn’t a big deal” or “so you’re actually fine” or “that’s not funny” i am. so tired of it
and then i go online and see people saying that disorders like anxiety and depression have been destigmatized and we’re treated basically the same in neurotypical society. motherfucker i did not go undiagnosed for 17 years with several doctors telling me it “wasn’t anything to worry about” despite my family history and clear signs from a young age just to be told my disorder is respected. if i say my anxiety is a disability i get called dramatic and am told to stop taking attention away from people who need it- or not to call it a disability because “it’s not that bad” and i’m fine because clearly having a disability makes every second of your life miserable of course of course. hell anxiety is demonized too! not as badly as many other illnesses but it’s still demonized!!! if i tell people “hey i have anxiety so please be careful with xyz” they act like i just asked them to let me do anything i want without consequence. there’s literally a whole fucking stereotype of people using “anxiety” as an excuse to be lazy or an asshole or entitled. as someone whose anxiety manifests in depressive spirals (freeze response) and rejection sensitivity (doom spiraling) this is Not Great!!!!! like i am hypervigilant about enough things i do not need to add “will these people get mad if i explain how my brain works” to the list
and about the rejection sensitivity. i HATEEEEE when people judge me for crying because they’re upset at something i’ve done wrong. “mars if you’re in the wrong then you’re not the victim” who the fuck said i think i’m the victim???? i cry because my brain takes “can you pls stop doing this it genuinely bugs me” and turns it into “you’re a horrible person how could you do this to someone they hate you.” but just because that happens doesn’t mean i’m not capable of rational thought!!! i KNOW realistically that my friends are good communicators and share that stuff because they like my company. i just need to cry about it as well. that doesn’t negate my logic or say i won’t actually try to improve myself. i’m just upset that i made the mistake. obviously i’m gonna fix it. that one REALLY pisses me off esp when i warn someone in advance that i do that. like calm the fuck down i’m not even pointing out that i’m crying rn this isn’t about me stop making it about me.
ANYWAYS. it’s really frustrating to deal with this shit from nts and then go to an online nd space for community and hear people talk about anxiety disorders like we don’t face ableism. just because it’s quieter doesn’t mean it isn’t there. that AND the “it’s barely an issue” girlie i was told i wasn’t disabled enough by doctors my whole damn life i am NOT about to start hearing it from you too. you can drown in the ocean or a swimming pool or a puddle. doesn’t fucking matter. the hypocrisy irritates me so bad
#ask#ghost#marzirants#i am sick of being told i’m normal and then getting yelled at for being myself#if anyone is an ass on this post and doesn’t consider the context or nuance within i will kill :)#anywho thx ghost. that one’s been simmering for a but#a bit* whoopsies#once before i got dxed i was trying out a new therapist#and after an in-depth explanation of my fear around driving and the built up shame i had from still just having my permit#she told me to ‘just get in the car and drive’#girl do you think i didn’t try that. my whole issue is that i can’t ‘just’ do it i was hoping we could work on the THREE MENTAL BLOCKS there#anyways i never went back to her. i still seethe a bit when i think abt it#anywho. sick and tired of being denied help and then chastised when i survive anyways#like yeah i’m alive. be a lot FUCKING better if you just gave me a hand though#but noooo because i’m not falling apart in front of you clearly i’m dramatic#tbf i have an incredibly high pain tolerance and have been an expert masker since i was a child#but still. not all disability is visible asshat. am i supposed to be able to function on my own or not why is there no right answer#anywho i’ve always felt a lot of connection to those with chronic fatigue#probs bc we both have deal with ‘it’s not that big a deal’ or ‘you’re being lazy/sensitive’ or ‘just suck it up’#not to mention constant anxiety is EXHAUSTING. fight-or-flight takes up so much energy dude
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shadowedvales · 4 months
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So… in the additional media of Stranger Things (specifically the comics I’m mentioning), it was initially Brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as Eleven was. It was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. And I just…. sure Henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but I think I am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.
I genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and Brenner is far more intriguing than the show. Everything with 9/9.5, Ricky, and Francine. Eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. Those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. Eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. And they all had such a range of interesting powers. I firmly stand with the idea that Jane is the only one who can contact The Void.
Brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out Terry was pregnant. He discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. There would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. Because of this, I would not put it past a man like Brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” aka Eleven. Eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. Brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.
Back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because Jane was 011. So there were at least ten kids before her. But I always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. That they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. With flying colours.
I just think the whole Rainbow Room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. Boring and predictable. I think at this point my portrayal of her time in Hawkins Lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. Where having the Rainbow Room, although Eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. Albeit extremely warped and toxic. Knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. Doesn’t sit well with me. I think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. Which is why Kali is also so important to her growth. I thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. Although Peter becoming Vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.
Maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, Peter Ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. But before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. Peter is shot on the spot, and Eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. In this timeline, Henry would be Vecna, but Henry would not be Peter Ballad.
When Eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, Brenner had the eight children killed. Kali had already escaped. This was the main cause for Peter to gain Eleven’s trust and try to get her out. Because if Brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way Eleven was safe even in spite of her power.
When Eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with Peter. Brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a Peter, that she must have been dreaming. Eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given Peter told her of the day Terry broke in the lab, but Brenner is convincing enough to make Eleven believe it was all in her head. Say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.
I still do wanna keep the Henry Creel canon, and keep him as 001. Brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. Brenner definitely wants to be able to control Henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. Killing him would be too big of a loss.
When Eleven is ten years old, Henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto Hawkins Lab. He almost kills Brenner by snapping his bones, but Eleven manages to stop him. Her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends Henry to the Upside Down. She does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. Brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat Henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. Eleven is rewarded for her efforts. Although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.
Brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. Also loved the idea of Brenner sending her into The Void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.
By the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the Upside Down is basically what we see in canon. Because she passed out the moment after she sent Henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. For two years she believed this, until making contact with the Demogorgan, and those memories return completely.
Due to her saving Brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. She happened to be there. Saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) Brenner constantly thanks her. But in a very condescending way. Tells her: “you saved me so I can continue saving you.” Aka, harness your abilities and see what else I can achieve from you. Despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. That she owes him something further.
I don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. Her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. Surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. Her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with Henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. It makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.
It also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. They would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. As far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. Everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with Benny, I'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. Where she followed the boys home without thought.
Also it's important to note that after time, Jane does understand that Peter Ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from Terry) who wanted the best for her. When she remembers him, knows that Brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. He was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. This is another catalyst as to why after season two, Jane never refers to Brenner as papa. She does not give him that sort of credit.
#study.#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon#he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was#and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her#regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and#mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following#the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have#killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and#was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3#idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.
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starsanddragonflies · 8 months
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WHAT
#I just FINISHED supernatural and have about FOURHUNDREDMILLION FEELINGS#WHAT#WHAT WAS THAT IM#I#WHAAT#I thought it ended at like 5 different points and cried SO MUCH????? I didn’t expect to still care so dang much but I guess they still#own a piece of me oh god#spn spoilers#from now maybe idk but I don’t want to spoil anyone and idk if anyone will read the tags but JUST IN CASE#‘Cas helped’ well see that means Cas is in heaven too and that makes this so much easier I was so scared#for a second I thought Dean is in heaven Cas is in the empty and Sam is on Earth but no#now they’re all in heaven and you betcha Cas is hanging out with Dean now aww now it is kinda cute#I got some spoilers (because ofc I did I went on tumblr again without finishing the show I was basically asking for it) but#all I knew going into s15 was ‘Destiel goes canon Cas goes to the empty and Dean dies’ so just thought naturally#that’s exactly how supernatural has always been but I also wasn’t sure if that actually would happen???#and I’ve seen that I love you news meme so gosh darn many times that I didn’t know what to expect but THAT WAS HEART WRENCHING#Finally someone told Dean what he deserves to hear but why not let him keep Cas ugh this is so sad#Feels a bit odd that Sam got a son and named him Dean though like that sounds like it would be more painful than anything but oh well#oh and Jack!! aww I’m so happy about him#I just hope they’re all happy in heaven and I wish I knew more about more characters but tbh#I just want to know that Cas is happy#I was so angry halfway through this episode thinking they murdered Dean and left SAM alive like what#Sam is left on Earth to do his thing and Dean just gets offed????? luckily it ended a lot better than that#my god I need to process this for a long time#oh and now I also want to rewatch the whole show but let’s be real it is 15 seasons I have NO time for that#Anyway I’ll go back to playing Zelda now#I have too many feelings about Spn#it’s time to have feelings about something else and though I have blocked zelda and totk EVERYWHERE to avoid spoilers I am so emotional#but I have lots of feelings about Zelda too oh my god how can I fit so many feelings at once I’m-#help I didn’t know there was a tag limit wth
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briarhips · 1 year
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I wish I had literally any irls to depend on and network w abt basic info
#head in HANDS#mine#i want to know. ok fine I’ll just say it#i want to know when the study abroad next summer application deadlines are and if I can do it post graduation bc my fave prof is teaching a#class in one of my favorite international locations and my parents recently revealed to me that now that I’m 21 for school they’ll gladly#send me anywhere and when he announced the class in class he seemed to look in my direction but I was too afraid to hope right off the bat#so I didn’t return the gaze I didn’t move I didn’t dare ask what’s my ACTUAL problem#nobody around me is proactive or serious so they have no clue either it hurts it HURTS always being the only one to know and if u don’t#nobody does! i want to ask him or the director of study abroad stuff but. if it’s too late to apply and or I can’t as a senior I’ll be so#irreparably embarrassed. someone help me plz oh god#i keep dreaming abt it but I loathe the thought of the school making allowances for me like that I don’t feel like I’m good enough of a#student for that plus it’s a bit infantile to cling a little longer like that no? but I remember 2 sems ago some seniors in my fave poetry#prof’s class were offered the opp to take her next sem class tho they would have graduated then bc she liked them and their work#that’s 60% of why I’m thinking of inquiring#ok well I’ve never met or seen or heard the director guy so maybe I’ll ask him. eww tho#what if word roundaboutly gets to my prof that I asked. oh god#does anyone reading this know in gen if it’s possible for graduating undergrad seniors to participate in study abroad a sem after graduation#plz plz I’ll take any even quarter educated guess#also Covid shut this down for the bulk of my time here!!!!!! i couldn’t possibly have done it earlier! 💔#also so torn abt this bc I accidentally let a diff opp pass me by not 36 hours ago bc I was just so dead TIRED. :( 💔
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goldkirk · 2 years
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NO NEED TO READ. I’m just venting 👍
Tw: suicide mentions and stuff
So I can’t give details bc protecting privacy of minors and my family who doesn’t know I have a tumblr or anything etc etc but I was right in suspecting that the adults back home don’t tell me anything non-great going on and G is having a way worse time than I was made aware of and as usual no one is doing ENOUGH and what’s being done is late and I’m like I just—I was TRYING to tell adults for FOUR YEARS and especially the last two of them and no one LISTENED until it was unavoidable and I STILL didn’t get anyone listening to my advice about things and I don’t have any way to make a difference but I swear to god if this goes on for another year or four the kid is going to kill himself. Like they are giving him NOTHING to live for, he has like 10% good and 90% misery and at least if I moved back home for a year or two I could be close enough to do something in an emergency. They don’t give their kids any way to talk to me and they wouldn’t let me around the kids to babysit or anything since I’m gay and a corrupting influence and believe in science and not fundamentalism but I’m telling you I had an extra 5-10% that this kid doesn’t have and I almost killed myself anyway and I didn’t have the massive health problems this kid has at that age either. They wouldn’t let me help him if I moved back but he has LITERALLY no one not in that worldview or viewing kids as not having rights etc etc and like. Of COURSE he can’t improve his emotions and behavior when he’s NEVER IN A SITUATION THAT LETS HIM HAVE ENOUGH LACK OF STRESS TO HEAL AND ENOUGH EXAMPLES OF ADULTS BEING HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
it just SUCKS and my mom is doing as much as she personally can to help in terms of getting him school accommodations and stuff but they all assured me so much while I was in the apartment 20 minutes away that things were SO much better and none of the old stuff was happening with him running away or needing to get dropped off to spend the night or whatever and I just you’re telling me they’ve been locking up food and you get calls at night on random days asking if they can drop him off at your house and the kid doesn’t have school accommodations and is failing some classes and has no motivation and has ongoing behavior issues and I just WHY DO YOU SAY THESE THINGS LIKE IT’S JUST A SHAME AND HE’S THE ONE CAUSING ALL OF THEM, and they didn’t take it seriously or see the problem when the kid scratched his own face bloody etc etc TWO YEARS AGO my god you people he doesn’t even tell you anything, what, do you think what you see on the surface is the extent of it?????
I’ve had conversations and I’ve cried at them and I’ve educated them and I’ve exhorted them at one am and I’ve tried to share my own experience and I’ve tried to give them science and I’ve tried to be a mediator and I ruined Christmas Eve begging them to be safer for these kids than they were for me because once I left the kids would have no other option bc they have no other trusted adults and they don’t GET it. If my parents and siblings ignore risks and one of my nephews or nieces ends up dead, I’m never going to forgive them for the rest of my life.
#please don’t suggest contacting DFS I already tried that last year and I was outed by my mom and everyone was REALLY mad and both the kids#and I got a lot of blame#and it wrecked my sister AND my mom and was expensive and didn’t help anything anyway#and there’s no evidence I can give and it’s everyone else against the crazy one (me) soooo#and also the foster system is terrible back home#i just needed to vent because this is everything I was afraid of happening back when I was like 14 and realizing if anyone ever knew#who I was and what I thought I’d be an evil influence from Satan and#never allowed access to the kids ever again and never trusted and kept informed about things#they spent years asking why the kids respond well to me#and asking if I can help with these situations#and I always did and I told them the same things every time and they never listened and I don’t want to be a PERSON I am so sick of being#a PERSON#why can’t you just fucking be KIND to each other and put in the work to face painful facts and GET BETTER BECAUSE OF IT#i did it on my own as a teenager you’re all at LEAST 16 years older than me I HATE you you just keep HURTING us kids and you don’t believe#you do because your worldview is the only right one and you can’t allow any other possibility!!!#well one of these days one of us is going to do more than wait 8 years to finally go to a hospital#and someone’s going to do something that can’t be bandaided or fixed#and you’re STILL not going to understand why#and I’m never going to know what to DO WITH YOU ABOUT THIS#oh thank FUCK#finally!!!!!!! an emotion!!!!!!!! oh my god it’s been over a month since I felt a feeling#this is great#excuse me I’ll be back in a while#I’m going to go feed the baby flame of this anger and try to keep it around for a bit so I remember what existing is like#I’m genuinely so happy right now hang on#thanks to anyone who read all the way through this ily and please make sure you have any water meds rest and food you need!!!!!!#shh katie#family#i love them all so much it eats me inside#i just want everyone to be GOOD like I know they’ve been able to be when I was little
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