#I’m about to go crazy because I’m so obsessed with clinging to the past

[bits-and-babs]

Im so sorry I didn’t see this till after request were closed but so idk if you gon see this but, f!reader had her nipples pierced? I’m sorry but I feel like price would be obsessed with readers piercings like if she had a tongue piercing too? Manz would go crazy. Smut? Dw if not <33

✦ 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄 ✦

– KINKTOBER DAY 6: NIPPLE PIERCINGS

cds!john price x recruit!reader | smut, 18+ | 1.2k words

summary: three months into your sas training course, chief directional instructor captain john price drills you on cold-water-shock survival.

cw: f!reader, cold water shock, power imbalance (recruit x directing staff), secret relationship, breast/nipple play, p in v sex, cream pie.

⇽ KINKTOBER MLIST | DAY 7: INCUBUS ⇾

It wasn’t as though there hadn’t been sufficient warning, but three years of service in the British army was nowhere near enough to prepare your body for the brutal battering that SAS selection subjected it to. Your blisters had blisters, and your body pulsed with a bone-deep ache every time you managed to crawl into bed upon dismissal. 

You had been sufficiently warned… About everything except this. 

Freezing cold water drips from your nose as you hoist yourself out of the pool at the base of the waterfall. Cold-Water-Shock training was a standard part of SAS selection– the ability to control your own discomfort and maintain a level head whilst also teaching the fundamentals of surviving sub-zero. January weather meant temperature levels were unsurvivable past a handful of seconds, and you could feel why. 

The process was simple. Fully submerge yourself into the icy depths before raising to the surface and keeping your chin above water. Next step; breathe. Regain composure and steady your breathing to fight the effects of cold-shock. Recruitment Staff would then ask you a handful of simple questions to assess competency before heaving you out of the water. 

You’d passed, you felt, with flying colours. The savagery of the otherworldly Brecon Beacons had failed to shake your resolve, answering the questions with ease. Even now, drenched to the bone and involuntarily trembling, you maintained a strong eye contact with Chief Directional Instructor Price as he eyed you with a stern expression. 

It’s momentary— barely there. You’d have missed it had you blinked. Price’s thick eyelashes, made damp by the sleet that had been battering the group all morning, dipped below your face. Sapphire blue irises glint in the low light when they zero in on their target. You hadn’t worn a bra this morning given you’d been forced out of bed at the arse-crack of dawn and expected to be in the van within five minutes… They’d left you little to no choice. 

Regardless of this reasonable explanation, you suddenly begin to regret your decision to forgo the cover, Staff Price gazing at the way your grey t-shirt clings to your pebbled nipples and the exposed shape of the piercing balls either side of each mound. 

“That’ll be all, 16,” he says, that raspy grit to his voice warming you from the inside-out. That fever encroaches on the apples of your cheeks when you realise he’s yet to pull his eyes away. 

“… Yes Staff.”

✦✦✦

“You did that on purpose.”

John’s voice, husky and full, was surprisingly even considering how tight your pussy walls clenched around his thick, veiny cock. You wail quietly at the soft breath that dances across your assaulted skin, nipples so incredibly sensitive. Sucked and nibbled and licked, the tender skin screams when Price drags the flat of his tongue over your pierced nipple with a delighted hum. 

“N-No—“ you choke out, the overstimulation of your nipples sending another shockwave of bliss down your spine. You know you’re squeezing him, because John ruts up into your fluttering pussy with a far less composed groan. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to!”

“You’re not foolin’ anyone, Love,” John murmurs, gently taking your pebbled nipple between his teeth and rolling it. 

You see stars— swirls of technicolour dancing behind your eyelids with how tightly you squeeze them shut against the cataclysmic pleasure that seeps between your thighs. When John jerks his hips up again, you can hear how wet you are. It’s sloppy, disgustingly soaked, and Price loves it. 

“Fuckin’— Hah-“ John moans against the supple flesh of your breast, wrapping his lips around it and sucking on the hypersensitised skin. This time, when you arch your back from the bed with a wail of his name, he begins a slow and leisurely pace with his hips. 

Burying your fingers into the short-crop of his hair, you brace against the ticking bomb of your orgasm as it approaches. Each long stroke of John’s hips makes another disgustingly wet sound, your cunt greedily sucking him in and creaming around his throbbing dick as he flicks his tongue back and forth across your abused nipple. His other palm, battle calloused and rough, squeezed the other breast, thumb equally torturing your second nipple. 

It comes in waves; cresting, crashing tsunamis rather than soft laps of the ocean on a beach. A prickling heat that singes away the Beacon’s icy cold from your toes and creeps up the inside of your thighs. Your heart slams against John’s lips, your hands pushing into the back of his head to keep him there while you chase what could only be described as liquidation. 

“Ohmygod—“ you slur, and it’s as though the edges of your vision blacken. In truth, you’re not sure what you call him as you come apart on his cock, sobbing out a hapless string of garbled noises that don’t sound anything like his name. Toes curling either side of his hips, you fail to brace against the overstimulation that rips violently through you. 

“Fucken’ ‘ell—“ he groans deeply, a guttural growl that seems to vibrate the atoms in the air around you. The deliberate, methodical thrusts of his hips suddenly pitch to a sloppy, desperate gallop. John’s hands grasp the bed sheets so tight you almost hear the threads strain against the pull. 

He cums, coating the inside of your cunt with a rumble of your name that sounds so foreign to your ears with the afterglow buzzing in your eardrums. John continues to fuck you through it, taking pleasure in the way you squirm and squeal and cry until his cum seeps between your legs, coating the inside of your thighs with his seed. 

Sharp, heaving breaths echo in his small quarters, and you’re almost certain that his fellow DS had definitely heard you this time. But when John places his damp forehead to yours, eyes closed as he relishes in the bliss of being so close to you for just a moment longer, you struggle to find it in yourself to worry. 

“You should wear a bra,” John mumbles, pressing a kiss to your lips— but missing in the haze of post-orgasm-bliss and settling for a peck on the corner of your mouth. 

“Why?” You muse, still a little breathless as he works his lips down your chin and over your jaw. The gruff, burly Chief of Directing Staff was so affectionate when the door was closed. You knew that this thing you had going on was more serious than a thing when you stopped being anxious about getting caught and being kicked off the course— instead stressing about John offering his tenderness to another recruit. “If this is how you react to seeing me with a wet shirt and no bra, I’ll dunk myself in that water every damn day.”

In a moment of sobriety, John pulls back to look you in the eye. His aquamarine irises hold a heavy seriousness that makes your breath stall for a moment, afraid you’d said something out of line. 

“Love, I completed that whole trainin’ session with a rock hard cock.” 

A beat. 

Just before peals of laughter burst from you. John rolls his eyes, turning onto his back on the mattress. Still, he’s unable to bite back the smile that pulls on his lips.

cod mwii/kinktober taglist:

@mortallyuniquepeach @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @crybaby-blue-blog @heart-atttack @pansa-1-san @maviee @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @s-u-t @ghostslynx @solidly-indulgent @glitterypirateduck @gummyfang @bii-aan-ckaa @konigsblog @crissteetee @crissteetee67 @sylvanasthebansheequeen @akaym2 @exploremyworldsm @thriving-n-jiving @su57 @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @tusk89 @bellasbees01 @dog55teeth

@mockerycrow @bubuslutty @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @levi-llama @thebiscuitsheep @maelstrom007 @alexxavicry @bug-sy-boy @glennrheesworld @kittenfrostt @luvfromkat @blingblong55 @whore4dilfs @wolfyland07 @doggydale @dog55teeth @cabreezer0117 @cathnoneofyourbusiness @marygraceee @thatchickwiththecamera @legend-o-zelda @whore-for-anime @i-love-ghost @cyberpr1m3 @mockerycrow @bubuslutty @lundenloves @cheezitwh0re @haunt3dh3art @babychoi03 @infectedkura @allekat1988 @whore-for-anime @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @mockerycrow @cyberpr1m3 @i-love-ghost @allekat1988 @infectedkura @babychoi03 @freakquenci @maviee @yunggoblin @sleepystaarr @watyousayin @soupbinsoup @passi0np1t @damn-dean-blog @pheonyxmoon @magicalreviewphantom @limegreenbabx @johfaam0 @iaur @justsayk

@bloodmoon-bites @wiltedwonderland @doggydale @limegreenbabx @namelesshumanperson @ninahhh-brahh

#꒰꒰ ‧₊˚ my works ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #꒰ ‧₊˚ john price ˚₊· ꒱ #john price smut #captain john price #captain john price x reader #john price #john price x reader #captain john price smut #modern warfare 2 #mw2 smut #price smut #cod smut #call of duty smut #call of duty #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #cod #barry sloane #barry sloane x reader #kinktober 2023

[dollwrites]

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 — 𝐫𝐮𝐢 𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), this is a darker fic, dub con for a bit, drug use ( LSD ), voyeurism and exhibitionism, Tsukasa involvement, suggested Kaito x reader too, very small amount of RuiKasa, all characters featured are aged 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ i haven’t written in a while so i may be kind of rusty. do not repost or translate. please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading <3

“Rui, something’s wrong —“

why was everything so loud? even the way he pants, his swollen lips parted and hovering inches from your face, the moans that slip free as hot air fans the apples of your cheeks in furious, little puffs— that shouldn’t have been audible over the blaring carnival music that washes around you, but you could hear every break in his breath. you could pick apart his vulgar whimpering, and you thought you might even be able to trace each note that lives within it with the tip of your finger, if only your wrists were not bound with what felt like silk ribboning, you would. due to his candy obsession, his warm breath usually tasted of sweets, but this time was different. the scent of sugar clinging to his tastebuds was so intense that you could taste it on your own.

“Nothing’s wrong, darling,” Rui assures with the shape of his mouth brushing over your countenance. he leaves a wildfire of sensation in the wake of his soft tiers, allowing them to dance over the tip of your nose and tease your mouth, that chased them. “Everything’s perfect.” your head had been swiveling, trying to look past the blinding, rainbow lights to try and decipher where you were. it didn’t look like Rui’s room anymore. in the center of the room, you were suspended in the air ( you only recently realized this when you dropped your head back and found yourself dangling helplessly, jostled in tandem with Rui’s fervent pounding into your guts ), but if you try to follow the slithering silks that coil around your arms and legs, you find they disappear into an abyss— there was no ceiling.

what were those silks connected to?

how were you being supported, exactly?

“Oh, you feel good…” he purrs, biting down on his lower lip hard, passing a sultry whine through his teeth as he savors how your body feels from the inside. “Yes, yes, yes…” he always got lost in you, reveling in how tight you clamped around him, and the way your recoiled in response to his pounding.

then, as your hazy eyeline scanned every inch of the environment, you spotted an audience. once again, however, beyond the chairs and silhouettes of their heads, you could see not a single detail. you knew they were there, because you could hear them. gasping, laughing, cheering.

this wasn’t happening.

you were going crazy.

“I think you gave me too much…” you mewl, curling your toes, but it did little to relieve the pressure Rui was forcing into your body. your head rolls, heavy on your shoulders, and you look back up at him. maybe if you focus on him, you thought, you could get control of yourself. but Rui didn’t even look like Rui. had he changed clothes? you’d most certainly have remembered if he’d met you at the door in a three piece suit and a black top hat balancing precariously askew on his head. it was as if he was part of this world you saw swirling around you, this wicked circus.

“F—fuck, Rui I’m seri— serious—“ you were groaning, though, panting with vulgar delight because it feels so good. Rui had always been a phenomenal lay, but it was always miles better when the two of you were tripping; it was like his fingertips were made of electricity, sending an unbelievable voltage of pure pleasure everywhere they touched.

and usually, Rui was good about measuring out each hit to make sure you could control your trip, but this time was different. at first, you’d looked at your dose and thought it wouldn’t be so bad. but everything got weird when his friend, Tsukasa pulled out his phone. “T—turn the lights on,” you beg, closing your eyes tight. “I—I need to come down.”

“Shh, shh, shh…” Rui croons, both, gloved fists wrapped around the ribbons that bind you. he used that leverage to pull you into his thrusts so he slammed home harder, smacking his hips into yours when he bottoms out, and you cry out loud, clenching your fists. “You’re missing all the lovely sounds,” he mewls, a cherry tint on his cheeks. his golden gaze had been blown out by pitch black pupils, so when you squint and try to meet his eyes, you’re sucked into the depth of his desire for you. you open your mouth to speak, to reiterate your point: you wanted this trip to be over, but his warm fingers clamp over your mouth, muffing your plea, and your eyes widen, “I want the others to hear how wet your sweet, little pussy is, too.”

the others?

for a moment, you’re perplexed. you could only remember that Tsukasa fellow. your eyes dart behind his left shoulder, and catch the two figures. Tsukasa and… someone else. a taller man, perhaps a year or two older than Rui. he has his hands clasped together in front of him, and his head cocked to one side. his features are surprisingly soft, as if the sound of your body squelching and your muffled whimpering is a beautiful symphony and he was listening intently.

you didn’t recognize him.

when had he shown up?

Tsukasa, on the other hand, was staring with big eyes and crimson cheeks, his eyeline jolting back and forth to the rhythm of Rui’s rocking hips, and you realize he must be watching his friend slide in and out with every thrust. he looks hungry.

“Rui, didn’t you promise Tsukasa something?” the other one asks, knowingly glancing to Rui, who doesn’t deny it. “So long as he brought your guest here?”

Rui snickers, glancing over his shoulder, and you do the same, staring at a very flustered Tsukasa. “Well, you certainly won’t be able to touch her from all the way over there.” you blink, bemused, and grip the silk restraints, arching your back— you want to bring Rui’s attention back to you so you can shake your head, give him a signal to let him know that this was not something you were agreeing to, but when he looks back to you, sees you shaking your head, he coos, “Ah, don’t worry! I’ll teach him how to play with you the way you like.”

everything happened way too fast.

from Tsukasa stumbling over, staring at your body with blown out pupils, grasping one finger of his glove in his teeth to pull it off as his other hand reaches for your breast. the black silk is warm when he gropes a handful of you, hard and needy.

“She’s soft, right?” Tsukasa is already nodding, agreeing with him before the question fully leaves his lips. Rui giggles, grasping his friend’s bare wrist once the glove is discarded and guiding his hand between your legs. “Wait until you feel her cunt. Her plushy, little clit is just like a moan button.”

in this moment, you hated that Rui knew exactly how to find it, because he pushed Tsukasa’s thumb against it, swiping skillfully to guide his clearly less experienced friend into the rhythm he knew would drive you crazy, resting his chin on Tsukasa’s shoulder to stare at you from behind his golden tendrils. Tsukasa’s eyes widened in awe as you whimpered into Rui’s glove, your eyelids slitting. the pad of Tsukasa’s thumb was rougher than Rui’s, and it scraped in just the right way to have you reeling.

“See?”

“Woah…” Tsukasa stared, rubbing harder. Rui can’t help but let out a strangled moan, because you were clamping down on him, throbbing.

“Keep doing it just like that,” he breathes heavily in Tsukasa’s ear, encouraging his friend, “She’s clenching like crazy… She likes it.”

you couldn’t even pretend he was wrong, either. your thighs were trembling in their binds, your eyelids fluttering, your head falling back. Rui allows it to, releasing your mouth and you expel a loud, flustered yowl, “F—ff—uck!” you no longer cared about coming down, or even minded that they hadn’t cared whether or not you consented to Tsukasa’s involvement, wanted him to touch you.

now, you didn’t want him to stop.

“M—more,” you whisper, back arching as you squirm, “more, more. C—close…”

Rui’s hand seeks out your throat instead, gripping it to hold you in place so he can plant his feet and drive himself into you in erratic, happy thrusts. he squeezes, crooning as his eyes threaten to close, too, but they remain, heavily lidded and hazy, on you. “Ah… Tsukasa, you’re going to make her cum!” Rui exclaims through heavy panting, “Don’t stop yet, she feels so tight!”

Tsukasa didn’t seem like he had even considered stopping. gritting his teeth, furrowing his brow, he leans over you more, desperate to watch your face contort in pleasure, while his fingers work furiously at the same, rapid-fire pace against your twitching clit. had you been sober, you might’ve even moaned and asked if he played the piano, what with how precise his fingering was, but you weren’t. not even close.

you gurgled and wheezed out pathetically adorable moans as Rui choked you harder, teasing your windpipe to experiment with how much pressure it took to make you sputter, as he fucked every, single lingering thought out of your head.

“Cum for me,” Tsukasa whimpered, needy, as he buried his face in your breasts to suck on them. he didn’t mind that he and his friend were in a game of Twister, entangling with one another in order to both touch you, but Rui didn’t either. he’d allowed Tsukasa to worm in between his body and yours, so long as he didn’t break the join at your sex, and Rui’s chin digs into Tsukasa’s shoulder. you can even see, blurry when you lift your head, his teeth sinking into Tsukasa’s neck every so often, as he allows a moan to vibrate against his flesh. they were both so close to you, both tethered to you. “Please cum hard for me!”

it made you dizzy.

“Cumming…” you croak, and Rui tightens his grip. he must be, too, spurred by how your walls milk him.

“Say my name,” Tsukasa begs, his strumming never once wading up, “say— say that it’s for me…”

“I— I’m cumming for you, Tsukasa!”

that was all that you could muster before you completely unravel into nonsensical babbling and yipping, and writhing. it feels good, so good you’re overloading, and your nails claw at the silks coiled around your wrists.

Rui follows right along behind you, releasing your throat to grasp himself and pull free from your depths so he can slot your folds around his girth as he cums, rubbing his cock between them, his release leaving your sex stickier, and smelling of him.

Tsukasa heard your soft, nearly coherent plea for him to ease up on your hyper sensitive nub, and he obeys, allowing his fingers to dip downwards and gather Rui’s release from between your nerherlips on the tips of his digits. he slides his first, two fingers inside of you, biting down on his lip to muffle a sordid moan when your walls spasm around the new intruders.

“Do you still want to come down?” Rui teases. he’s come around to squat down so he’s face to face with you, petting your hair back before peppering your temple with sugary kisses. you shake your head, weakly.

this world, whether it was a figment of your trip, conjured by too many drugs working overtime in your system, or it really did exist inside of Tsukasa’s cellphone like he claimed, had taken its toll on you, but you no longer cared.

you’d given into the euphoria, and you were enjoying it now.

Rui giggles, his mouth traveling south to kiss your cheek, and then the corner of your mouth, before you finally turn to catch his lips in a passionate lock. you can only hold it for a second before you need to catch your breath, and Rui’s tongue glides along your parted lips. “You want to ride it out? Be a tough, little cookie?”

you nod, smiling, cumdrunk and filled with too much pleasure to turn it down.

“She agreed, just like you said she would.” the mysterious man who’d been watching had moved closer, running svelte, gloved digits over your trembling ankle in butterfly caresses, and hummed, pensively.

Rui beams, nodding as he kisses your mouth, “Mm, I know my girl fairly well. Isn’t that right, darling?”

“More, please…” you whispered, softly, “I want to cum again…”

Rui chortles, and looks up at Tsukasa, still smitten with your sex, and, voice like a bell, croons, “Don’t worry, my little marionette. Tsukasa is going to have you now. And then, Kaito here, will do the same. You’ll be so fucked out by the time you come down, you’ll be a trembling, drooling mess.” Rui swoons at the thought, his smile wide and mischievous, but you mirror it with an entranced, lazy simper, nodding happily to each word. “And I promise, you’ll never want to leave from right here once you’ve taken all three of us.”

#I am very high so if this shit don’t make sense 😡 PRETEND IT DOES #rui #rui x reader #rui x you #rui smut #rui kamishiro #rui kamishiro x reader #rui kamishiro x you #rui kamishiro smut #project sekai #project sekai x reader #project sekai x you #project sekai smut #tsukasa tenma #tsukasa tenma x reader #tsukasa tenma x you

[thebigqueer]

.

#god I just #I can’t do it here anymore #I hate this place I hate this town I hate this state I hate this house #I’m not a part of my old life and it hurts so much #I’m literally getting to the point where like I just don’t want to #idk #just #dhdjehdh #I’m not existing and I’m not living and I’m tired of being here #this isn’t where I belong #I’m about to go crazy because I’m so obsessed with clinging to the past #when will this get the best of me is the real question #because I’m at the brink of something #idk what that something is but it’s bad #I just want to go back #negativity

[moonctzeny]

First Times

“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”

He pulls you closer to him, making your face rest on his naked chest. He smelled like sweat and that intense body spray, like those days he came back from his basketball practice to meet you under the treehouse. He smelled like home.

pairing: childhood friend/ceo! jaehyun x fem! reader

genre: smut, angst

word count: 6.584k

warnings: loss of virginity, then not so virgin sex lol, squirting

summary: “Jaehyun had been your best friend ever since you were 7 years old, but after a certain incident he disappears, without informing you of his whereabouts. You had come to terms with the fact that you’ll never see him again until your paths cross unexpectedly, meeting as boss and employee”

a/n: I feel like ceo! jaehyun fics are overwritten so I tried to focus more on the childhood friends to lovers aspect, giving it a little twist

———————————————————————

There was no way that was him.

When you were 10 years old you couldn’t wait to have your first kiss. You were plain obsessed with the romance dramas that were playing on tv, your mom complaining about having to witness the same unrealistic tropes over and over again, but you stayed frozen in front of the screen.

Why were the characters so caught up in the thought of seeing each other? Why were they willing to risk everything they had for the other person? You were curious to find out about the love the grown ups talked about, and playing mommy and daddy with the neighbor’s son, Jaehyun, wasn’t cutting it anymore.

He was waiting for you in his treehouse, preparing his toys for your playdate. A table of pots and cutlery on one side of the room and a battlefield with ships on the other. He preferred when you two dueled for the “fate of your country”, but he knew you liked to play house so he compromised. One hour of what you like and one hour of what he liked, that’s what his mom had said.

You stomped inside, your pout not matching his excited smile.

“Finally, you’re here! Can we play my games first? My uncle got me new soldiers, look!” He ran up to you, a bunch of different green miniatures in his hands. You didn’t bother to spare him a glance, too caught up in your personal drama.

“I don’t want to play games,” you whined, “I want a boyfriend!”

Jaehyun blinked a couple times, confused. “But you have one, me. I am your friend and I am a boy”

You threw your head back in frustration, groaning so loudly that the rest of the neighborhood probably heard you. “Noo it’s not the same! We don’t kiss on the lips and stuff!”

The little boy came closer to you, scowling. He was starting to get really impatient with your whining over these dramas that you liked so much. So what if you don’t kiss and stuff? It’s no big deal anyways!

He grabbed your ears, bringing you closer to his face and he gave you a small peck. Your first kiss.

“There. Will you play with me now?”

When you turned 18 you exchanged your love for dramas with a love for art. You also exchanged your calculus workbooks for oil paints and acrylics, busy with piecing together a portfolio that would get you accepted into art school. There was one thing that stayed stable in your life, however, that followed you from childhood into adolescence.

“Hey, sorry for being late, basketball practice took longer than I expected”, Jaehyun apologized and joined you at his backyard. The treehouse had gotten too old for inhabiting but the trunk you were currently lied against served its purpose as your current hangout after school.

“Hey”, you sniffled and he finally noticed how watery your eyes were. He dropped his sportsbag immediately, and sat next to you on the slightly moist grass, your arms touching.

“I’m guessing Mark denied your offer to go to the prom with you?”

You nodded, hiding your face in his embrace before he sees you crying. Being Jaehyun’s friend wasn’t always easy. His easygoing personality and good looks on top of being president of four school clubs made him one of the most popular kids in high school. You reminded yourself that he’s still the same boy you’ve always known, that you don’t have to feel threatened by the army of girls always clinging by his sides, but it was hard. It was hard to recount your rejection from this morning when he probably has never truly felt that feeling before. Even with his college applications pending, you knew he’d be successful. Any institution would be crazy to miss up on him, and the rest of the world felt that way about him too.

“I don’t wanna talk about it”, you mumble, leaning back before you stain his t-shirt even more, “Did Mina find the dress she is gonna wear after all?”

Your genuine worry for his prom date, even after your failed promposal, broke his heart. You were always so empathetic, so selfless, so nice to him. He didn’t have it in him to let you stay in your state of misery.

“Nothing”, he blurted, rushing to explain after seeing the confused look on your face, “she bailed on me last minute”.

That was a lie, but you didn’t have to know that. Jaehyun cancelling on his date would be a dick move, he knew that, but you being happy was his priority. It always has, at least as long as he was still here. “So if you didn’t mind, I was thinking we go together? As friends of course”

“Jae! I love you!”

You tackled him with a hug, the grass tickling his neck and he just laughed at the adorable screech you let out. You both stayed there enjoying the chill evening, talking about renting cars and matching outfits.

He let you rant about the dress you’ve chosen to wear and he promised to convince his parents to leave his house empty for the after party.

The prom night was the last time you saw Jung Jaehyun. There you two were, sprawled out on his bed and tired off your asses, spending what seemed like the most fun night of your life together. Your feet were in blisters from all the dancing, head spinning from the after-party vodka. Jaehyun had turned his head towards you, tie undone and staring at a piece of glitter that had fallen on your collarbone. He looked as handsome as ever in his suit, red eyes glued on you and a satisfied smile on his face.

“Your parents are gonna be so mad when they see the mess on their carpet. I told you not to get Jungwoo drunk”

Jaehyun laughed, his deep laugh reverbrating through the room. “Not if you tell them in the morning. They can’t get mad at you. You told your mom you’re staying over, right?”

You nodded, maybe shaking your head a lot longer than needed but your tipsy self wanted to make sure you got your message across.

“You know”, you started with a snicker, “she gave me like a million condoms for tonight. Probably thought I was planning on losing my virginity like any teenager with a social life”

He kept staring at you, eyes lazily taking in the sight of your pretty smile. “Yeah, same with my dad. I think that’s the only reason why they gave me the house”

You whipped your head to face him at the speed of light, mouth gaped open and  staring at him incredulously. “Jae, you’re a virgin??”

It was hard to believe. I mean sure, you hadn’t had any experience in the sex department either but you were, well, you. Shy with new people, horrible at flirting and a bit standoff-ish if you were being honest. But your best friend, as likable and good looking as he was, had never been with a girl before?

“Well, yeah, I was just kinda- I was waiting for the right person, you know? Someone to make it memorable”

You sighed, relating with his words but also...

“I just wish I could get it over with”, you confess and you saw Jaehyun gulp visibly. He was glancing at the nothingness on his ceiling, lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah”

The silence lasted for a few minutes, only the distant sound of a passing police car interrupting it. He sat on his knees, the conversation sobering him up significantly. “Remember when you wanted to have your first kiss and I just did it so you wouldn’t complain about it anymore?”

You smile fondly at the memory, waiting for him to continue. There was somewhere he was getting at.

“Well, we both want to not be virgins anymore, right? So let’s just do it”

You felt an electric tension growing between you. It was like you were holding two magnets, begging to touch each other but you still held them apart, because if you let go you just knew things would never be the same again.

Jaehyun leaned in, dunking his head at the last minute and kissing your neck instead. It was tentative, a kiss that tested the waters. He was still holding back, wanting to make sure you wanted this as much as he wanted it too. You scooted closer to him, placing your legs to frame his closed knees, putting his face gently in your hands.

His pupils were dilated, shifting to a million places but your voice managed to make him concentrate to your eyes solely. You could hear his heartbeat bumping in his chest.

“Jae, I love you. You have to trust me, ok?”

“Okay” he nodded, eyes wide open and sincere, “I love you too, so much”

You kiss him finally, and the room around you spun even more. The feeling was strangely comfortable, yet your lungs were struggling to do their job. In that moment, it felt like everything in the world was the way it was supposed to be, and you two were a part of that bigger, perfectly orchestrated picture. 

He grabbed you by your waist, bringing you over his lap. His fingers danced from your thighs to the zipper of your dress, the cool midnight air spreading goosebumps on your back. You help him out by pulling your straps down, staying in your strapless bra.

“If I knew what was gonna happen tonight I would wear cuter underwear”, you mutter and Jaehyun chuckles. Why did your heart skip a beat at the sound? It’d be a lie to say you hadn’t found yourself staring at your best friend a minute too long in the past, but tonight- Tonight the effect he had on you held an intensity that you’ve never felt before.

“Underwear can only help you out so much. They can’t do wonders”

“Wow Jae, way to make me drier that the Sahara desert”

He dipped back down to your throat, sucking at the soft skin over your collarbones and earning an embarassingly high-pitched moan from you. You felt him smile against your neck as he licked over the nibbled flesh in little circles, wishing he would repeat that motion on another part of your body.

“We’ll see about that”

As if he wanted to prove his point, he grinds you over his erection, lighting your insides on fire. Your dress was short, meaning that you could feel all of him-and it seemed like a whole lot- over your panties that were damping up.

“Show me your tits and I’ll show you mine”

Jaehyun laughed at your comment; ridiculous yet successful at calming his ragged breath down. The buttons of his dress shirt opened one by one, each of them revealing another inch of his smooth chest. His skin was glowing, and his abs proved that puberty was starting to work its wonders on him.

You trace your fingers over two moles on his chest, leaving soft kisses over them. You could feel his pulse on your lips, fast and pumping blood all over his body. Despite his attempts at staying collected over the loss of his virginity, you realized that he was probably as nervous and scared as you are.

“Your turn”, he whispered, bringing you back into the moment. You reach back to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs, and a smile cracked on your lips at Jaehyun’s reaction.

He stayed frozen and gawking at your chest, hands twitching and not knowing what to do with the sight you so generously offered him. Bringing his hands into your own, you place them over your mounds, guiding him into squeezing them. He continues on his own, pinching your nipples as he leans forward for another kiss, probably to hide his evident blush from you.

The making out continued, leaving you both with only your underpants on. He places you on your back, and starts petting your clit over your panties, the motion so soft it drove you insane. Hungry for more. 

You started whining, grinding forwards against his fingers and he chuckled, pulling the fabric away to leave you uncovered. The chilly air was quickly exchanged with the feeling of his warm digits, causing a different kind of shivering. 

When he inserted the first finger in you, you felt like your whole body was burning up with a high fever. You’d done this again, with your ex-boyfriend in summer camp but it definitely didn’t feel as sinful and delicious and pleasureable as this. It pulled at a knot in your stomach, begging to be untangled and Jaehyun was taking his sweet time with you. Quick circles on your swollen bud and a nibble on your neck, that’s what it took for him to enjoy you shaking through an orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful”

You looked angelic with the sweat trickling down your chest, skin glowing in the limelight and Jaehyun would just sit and stare if it wasn’t for the tent in his boxers that was screaming for attention. Pulling at the soft fabric, you sprung him free and the boldness that came when you did started to evaporate. It hit you in that moment, that he had seen all of you and now you saw all of him- yes you had been best friends for years but this intimacy was unprecedented. And you liked the feeling.

You put him in your grasp, moving your fist in a pivoting motion with his precum as your lubricant. He throws his head back with a grunt that almost made you cum a second time and urged you to pick up the pace. Unsure of what to do next, you licked your other palm and started to massage his balls hoping he liked it. He did by the sound of his moans, but stopped you abruptly, scaring you that you accidentally did something wrong in your inexperience.

“If you continue like this I’m gonna cum. Let’s do this“

You swallow on nothing and reach to your jacket on the floor for the condoms your mum gave you. 

“Want a pink one? A green maybe? Blue?”, you joke and he pets your hair lovingly, looking down at you.

“Blue. Your favourite colour”

You smiled warmly at his response, satisfied with your decision to share this moment with your best friend. With someone who knew you so well.

Unwrapping the plastic, you placed the rubber over his hardness with shaking hands, following the instructions as best as you could. Jaehyun leaned down over you, planting a dozen kisses over your face as he positioned himself over your entrance.

“Ready?”

You nodded, giving him permission to dip his tip in, the first inches stretching you out nicely. The wetness caused by your orgasm helped your situation a lot, the slickness allowing him to dive a little deeper. Then, the stinging started, making you hiss and he kissed you immediately, trying to soothe you.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry. We have to go through the hard part now ok?”

The nickname playing over and over again in your head gave you the patience needed to endure him bottoming out, along with the first thrusts. It was uncomfortable, but the feeling of him inside you, of the two of you coming together as one, released some chemical in your brain that made most of the pain go away. He took his fingers from your hips to gently pat away the teardrops staining your cheeks.

“That’s it baby, you’re doing so well”

His words and the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls drew a moan out of your half open mouth, the sound carrying on the air you two shared and landing on Jaehyun’s lips. There was a tension on your belly and something told you it wasn’t just physical, more like an emotional revelation, a fire already ignited but flared up by this incident. Your feelings towards your childhood friend, a love that was more than platonic.

For you, at least.

Jaehyun was young and you felt so tight around him that he didn’t take long to finish. He pulled out last minute, taking the condom out and spilling spurts of his cum all over your stomach. It earned a scowl and an eyebrow raise from you but the way he apologized, saying you “looked too beautiful to resist”, was too cute to stay mad at.

You laid back on his bed, holding hands and trying to register what just happened. The ocassional car drove by, the lights illuminating Jaehyun’s eyes that you noted were glossy. Maybe it was just as intense for him, you thought and squeezed his hands a little tighter.

“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”

He pulls you closer to him, making your face rest on his naked chest. He smelled like sweat and that intense body spray, like those days he came back from his basketball practice to meet you under the treehouse. He smelled like home.

 “Forever”

Forever must have a different meaning in the Jungs’s dictionary, because after that night, Jaehyun was unreachable. You tried to text him, call him, only to be ignored and faced with stupid excuses.

You thought long and hard about why your best friend suddenly decided to ghost you. Maybe he didn’t like the sex. Understandable, since it was your first time, but it’s not like you promised him a night of mind blowing love making or anything. You decided that he probably felt too awkward to talk to you after that night and you told yourself to give him some space.

Three days passed, then another, then a week and still no sign of Jaehyun. Tired of the radio silence and irritated by his attitude, you got ready to visit him at his house, confront him one-on-one.

No, you didn’t wear your favourite perfume for him. It just so happened that you chose to put on that dress he had complimented you on before. You didn’t hope for him to call you beautiful again, or have a retake of the prom night fun. The butterflies in your stomach were probably the heavy lunch you ate. Yes, it was all coincidental.

You walked down the stairs with a pep in your step, storming through your parents in the kitchen.

“And were are you going so happy, young lady?”, your dad chirps and you smile at him.

“I’m gonna go see Jaehyun real quick!”

“Real quick? To a different country? He came back already?”

You stilled at the sound of your mother’s words, confused.

“A different country? I’m going down the street to the Jungs, mom”

“Honey, the Jungs are there but not Jaehyun. He moved abroad to study Business. Didn’t he tell you?”

The ground beneath your feet seemed to melt and pull you under the third level of hell. How could he get accepted to a university and not tell you? How could he move countries and not even say goodbye? How dare he make you fall in love with him, give you the best night of your life and then leave you hanging like that?

You ran upstairs to your room, wailing in what seemed like a mixture of rage and sadness. You felt so dumb, in your sundress and shaved pussy and cute underwear you chose out for him. It was all so, so unfair and the feeling ate you alive. The feeling that you hated Jung Jaehyun.

So now, when he stands from across the room, all suited up but with the additional rank of CEO on his shoulders you couldn’t believe that it was him.

Your portfolio did get you into an art school after all, majoring in product design. Your innovative work of rebranding the latest releases, taking on the aesthetic part of the marketing, landed you a great deal in J industries. The product was good and your skills were better, so when the sales went off the roof you weren’t surprised. What you didn’t expect however, was that the boss of your boss, who was currently staring at you from across the launch party, was your childhood best friend.

Ex-best friend.

“Damn, y/n, Mr. Jung hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night, huh?”, said Sook, the assistant marketing director who was working by your side on the project.

“Well, he should have come over and congratulate me by now. I did help save his company”

She laughed lightly, unaware for how deeply rooted your dislike for the man really was. You continue your conversation when you suddenly see her turn visibly tense, sweeping her hands on the front of her dress. Oh, you should have watched what you wished for.

“M-Mr. Jung, how are you enjoying this party? This is y/n, she did most of the designs for the campaign-”

Eyes widening in shock, you get lost in some passerbys, meddling with the other coworkers in the gathering. Sook left a little yelp when she realized you had dissolved into thin air in seconds. You could still faintly hear her apologizing merrily.

“Oh I swear she was sitting right next to me Mr. Jung”

Chatting up with friends and even strangers, you made sure you never stayed in the same place for too long. Jaehyun’s eyes were still boring holes into your face no matter where you went, a smirk plastered on his own every time he caught you checking out for him.

In a last attemp to turn invisible, you find cover on a small couch, slightly hidden by some ballon decorations and you shoved a book to your face, faking interest. But alas, a dip in the furniture next to you and the familiar woody smell soon rang a bell of danger in your head.

“You know your book is upside down, right?”

Wincing at your fatal mistake, you turn around to be faced with a pair of brown eyes you thought you’d never see again. You noticed how they’re glowing in pride and ambition and remembered how they shined that night from tears, how you tried to read through him, just like now.

“Jung. Got bored of your little staring game?”

Jaehyun had grown an inch or two since you last saw him, you notice, standing even taller in his exemplary posture. He still stuck with his long hairstyle, locks styled back sleekly and exposing his defined cheekbones. His skin was even paler than usual, glowing in the dark room. Being a CEO probably meant staying inside a lot, making tanning for his complexion almost impossible.

“Considering you applied to my company, y/n, I figured you’d come to me now as well”

Why was he using that voice around you? You‘d made fun of him numerous times in the past for that deep tone, only coming up when he was trying to woo some girl.

“I didn’t know it was your dumb company”, you start, rolling your eyes in annoyance, “I’m surprised you even remember my name”

“How could I forget the girl I went to prom with?” And took my virginity, you wanted to add but knew he censored his words on purpose. “Also, Sook mentioned your name like, five minutes ago”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about”

His silence was uncomfortable, thickening the atmosphere even more. You saw regret and guilt in his features, lips struggling to find the right words and hands fumbling with his tie.

“I know you’re mad, rightfully so. But please, come over to my place for a drink. For old time’s sake”. The deep voice was persistent and that’s when you realized that Jaehyun wasn’t a teenager anymore. So many years had passed since that summer, enough to mature you both physically and emotionally, yet the wound stung still so freshly.

“You can’t just choose when to re-enter my life so easily”, you huffed and started to walk away from him, when you felt his fingers wrapping gently around your wrist.

“y/n, please. I’ve missed you. One drink, that’s it”

It was so annoying, you thought as you entered his condo, how his dimples were still so effective at convincing you. It was quite luxurious, definitely bigger than your apartment and by the looks of the fancy furniture, his hard work as CEO surely paid off. 

“You like it?”

“Not as much as your treehouse but it’s okay”, you reply him and he grins at the reminiscence of your old shenanigans as children.

“I’ll bring the wine”

You snooped around a bit more, examining the decorations of his living room. It was quite minimalistic, an abstract painting or two, a weird sculpture, no family pictures in sight. You always hated places like that, so lifeless, so impersonal. Jaehyun had too rich of a personality for that.

He sat on his leather couch, placing two glasses of white wine in front of him and motioning you to sit down as well. You took a seat as far away from his as possible and he winced at the distance you kept, now also turning physical. 

Jaehyun started a conversation by asking you about your work at the company, then moving on to your personal life. You politely answered him, even joked about how single you are. He started recounting the start of his company, how he got the idea to begin from scratch and the hardships that came with it. As it was expected from the bachelor’s vibes his place emitted, CEO position didn’t allow for enough free time for him to meet someone new, let alone something serious. Your little meet up seemed to be going well. Too well to be exact. One glass down and you finally had enough of feigning ‘happy old friends catching up’.

“Why did you bring me here Jaehyun? Really bring me here”

The man sighed at your tone, running his fingers through his hair and messing their gelled-up styling. Getting up from his position, he finishes up his second glass and sits closer to you, body facing yours.

“I guess... I owe you an apology. For back then. I should have told you I’m moving abroad”

“Yes, Jaehyun, you should have. Especially after what we did before you left”

He closed his eyes in shame, glossy after he reopened them. A serious expression darkened his features, looking as solemn as that last night you saw him before his disappearance and hanging from your lips. “Do you regret it? Going through with it?”

“No”, you answer immediately, because it was the truth. All the guys you’ve slept with in your time as an adult, though more experienced than high-school Jaehyun, were missing that one factor that none other than your best friend could offer you. Connection, vulnerability, care. True love.

He sighs, once again, clearly relieved by your answer but still speaking in a bittersweet tone.

“Good, I would really hate myself if you did. I was just, so scared you’d forget about me. I had to know you’d remember me. Then you said this whole thing about wanting to have our first time and-“. You knew it was the wine in his system that caused his rambling. Jaehyun wasn’t one to stumble on his words, definitely not sentimental like that. But alcohol seemed to bring you closer when in need and at the right time so you let it, once again, and you let him finish. “-and you looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. If I knew you’d grow up to look like this I would have never-“

He stopped himself mid sentence, regretting sharing more. You, however, weren’t done with this conversation yet. There were so many years spent repenting your friendship, so many questions running through your head, and you weren’t leaving this room until they got answered.

“If you didn’t want me to forget you that much then why not tell me you got accepted to a university abroad? I was your best friend!”. Your words were emotionally charged, unwillingly making your voice turn up in volume. It was as if you turned back into the little girl crying in her bedroom, finally getting the chance to say all those things she was screaming in her pillow. “I would be so happy for you, I loved you”

“Yes you did! You literally said that every single day!”, Jaehyun yelled back, startling you, “And every single time it was as if you jabbed a knife in my chest! Did you know how much it killed me? To hear this from my best friend I’d been in love with for the past 10 years?”

“You- you were in love with me?”, you ask dumbly, voice light in disbelief, a stark difference from Jaehyun’s a second ago.

He settled his breathing, hands fixing his hair once again in abashment.

“I knew that if I told you I had to go abroad you would get all sad and start crying and I wouldn’t be able to see you like that. I knew that the moment you’d tell me you miss me I would drop everything to be with you. That night that we had sex.. I didn’t plan it but I thought it would be better for you if I made you hate me. And when I saw you again today- it felt like not one day had passed since high school. I didn’t know how to approach you, what to say. I’m sorry”

You sat there in shock, connecting the dots in your brain. All the feelings you were trying to repress around him, the lingering glances and butterflies in your stomach, were reqruited all along. You knew exactly what he meant earlier, about time seeming to freeze. The way he looked at you now, all teary eyed and red and shaking was utterly and overwhelmingly the warm Jaehyun that met you every night after school. And you wouldn’t let another day go to waste.

You lean forward, capturing his lips into a kiss long overdue. It was tentative and you started pulling back when he places both hands on the sides of your neck, keeping you from letting go. His fingertips grasp part of your hair and you lean your face sideways, melting into the kiss and his touch. A lick on his bottom lip and now your tongues were touching, groaning at how much better he got at this and wanting to put his skill to better use. Tugging on his soft locks, he moans and his baritone voice made the hairs on your arms stand on edge.

You moved your hands on his chest, palming the defined muscles and deciding you wanted to treat your eyes, ripping his shirt open in one move. Jaehyun grabs the meat of your thighs, hands gripping the edge of your dress and pulling it upwards until it falls over your head. He dipped into your neck immediately, sucking and nibbling passionately right in the middle, your moans sounding breathless with the pressure he puts on your throat. Trailing down, he left a path of open mouthed kisses, now focusing on the mounds of your breasts that your bra wasn’t covering. A flick of his wrist and the piece of underwear was gone, lips surrounding your nipple, releasing it with a loud pop.

You moan out his name and his growl’s animalistic, nails digging on the softness of your hips.

“Fuck I love that sound”

He probably made it a goal to hear it again as he started kissing on your inner thighs, the bruises he left behind teasing you to the point of begging. You lift you hips to discard the skimpy underwear you chose for tonight, Jaehyun’s breath fanning your clit. A few kitten licks and your back is already lifting from the leather, his hands intertwining with yours to keep you in place.

Practice makes perfect and Jaehyun must have had a lot of it, the interchanging of sucking, licking and spitting on your pussy making you lose your mind in the most delicious way. You were in the midst of murmuring a mix of praises when he finally finds that spot that has you trembling under his tongue. Riding out your high, you grind against his face, the pleasure not leaving any room for shame. Chest heaving and vision restored, you glance down at Jaehyun, looking as irresistible as ever wiping his wet lips and chin.

You were fully prepared and willing to return the favor so you motioned him to stand up, positioning the back of your neck over the hand rest of the couch. After opening your mouth wide he got the point, quickly ridding himself off his pants and boxer briefs, spitting profanities at how hot you looked for him right now.

You were upside down, but you could very well see Jaehyun’s hard and angry cock staring back at you. You always thought that maybe, since he was your first, you might have overestimated his size in your head. But your brain apparently hadn’t manipulated that memory in the slightest because that length and grith would definitely be a challenge for you. And hell, did you want to take it on.

He pushes through your lips, and your tongue is quick to engulf him. Licking up and down his shaft as best as you could, made Jaehyun grip the couch in an effort to keep his knees from buckling from pleasure. The position allowed him to push even deeper inside you, filling up your throat. He places his fingers over the bulge on your throat, watching it itently with every move of his hips.

Your eyes teared up and your throat started to burn but the sounds Jaehyun let out with every thrust made it all worth it. He finally pulls out, a string of saliva and precum landing on your lips and he is quick to to clean you up with his fingers. Collecting the wetness, he pushes his digits inside your mouth, and something changes in his glare, eyes darkening in the most lustful expression.

“I need you inside me”, you mumble with his fingers inside of you and he nods, asking if he should go get a condom. You search through the contains of your handbag, hands trembling with the way he is pushed up agaist you, erection digging in the softness of your ass as he’s nibling the skin on your shoulders. 

You handed him the square foil and as soon as he takes it in his grasp, he pushed you down to the arm rest, back against the cushion and legs in the air. Moving your hand between your legs, you distracted him by playing with your pussy, speading the juices around and pushing your folds apart to direct him to your opening.

The first thrust felt divine, thick cock filling you nicely and making your head fall back in pleasure. Jaehyun threw your legs over his shoulders, eyes glued to yours as he kissed your calves, picking up his pace. The moans started rolling off your tongue, echoing inside the big lounge and accompanied by the skin slapping sound of your bodies.

“I missed your body so much”, he muttered as he gripped your waist, setting an incredible pace that had your feet flexing. You turned your head to the side, catching your reflection on the huge window leading to the balcony. Tits bouncing, Jaehyun’s flexed arms, his dick digging inside you. What a sight.

“See something you like?”, he chuckled darkly and you smiled up at him, grazing your nails over his biceps.

“Show me something to remember you by”

Jae halted his thrusts, turning you over to your stomach swiftly, ass in the air. He kneaded his hands over your ass, giving it a little spank and spread your cheeks apart. Placing his right knee on the arm rest, he dives inside you again, and the moan you let out barely sounded like you. His cock was so deep inside you that you had to close your eyes to relish the feeling of fullness, amplified by the light pain of the stretch. Jaehyun collected your hair in his fist, pulling your upper body against his chest as he wrapped an arm around your own.

“Open your eyes. See how nicely you take my cock. Think you’ll forget that?”, he growls in your ear, thumb digging in your cheek and palm slightly muting your sounds. The dirty talk, his cock grazing against the spot that drove you crazy and Jaehyun’s godly reflection pounding the shit out of you brought you over the edge again. He didn’t let you take any time off, hips continuing to bruise against you as feverly as before, and you thought you just might combust.

“Jaehyun, p-please, it’s too much”, you plead with as much power is left in your system, and he pulls out, only to start rubbing quick circles over your clit that had you thrashing in his arms.

You melt into his arms, a pressing feeling in your belly that you had never felt before and soon you climax for the third time, droplets of cum squirting out of your pussy and dripping onto the wooden flooring.

“This is so fucking hot”, Jaehyun mutters and starts thrusting inside you, trying to coax as much cum out of you as possible.

The waves keep coming, gushing out of you every time he pulls out, until he can’t take the sight anymore, coming with a shiver and a ragged breath.

You were sweaty and exhausted, smiling faintly as he showered you with kisses.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”

You try to stand up futilely, knees wobbling and unable to keep your balance. Jaehyun chuckles at the sight but helps you up like the gentleman he is, moving you to the floor’s bathroom.

You hop in and he joins you, letting the water run down your body and helping you soap up. It was very intimate but comfortable at the same time, his gentle caresses belonging to your skin. Everything felt right.

He was occupied with running his fingers over two hickeys he had planted on you earlier when you snap him out of his thoughts, voice barely audible over the running water.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to lie to me to go study abroad. I think it’s pretty obvious after what we just did that I liked you too, but... I still would have let you move. Force you even.”

“You’re right. I’m sor-“

“I mean it Jaehyun. I’m so proud of you”

His eyes glimmered at your praise, wet eyelashes framing them and fluttering closed as he leaned down, pressing the sweetest kiss on your lips. It left you breathless, almost hurting when he pulled back. You could kiss him forever.

“I know you said I can’t just come back to your life like that but I want to try. I’ve seriously missed you”

“How about taking me to a date tomorrow night? To catch up some more”

He grinned brightly, eyes turning into crescent moons and dimples making your heart burst.

“Wherever you want”, he promised and took a step closer to you, hand snaking down your ass and pulling you against his wet body, “And speaking of making up for lost time... How about a round two?”

#jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun angst #nct scenarios #childhood #nct smut #jaehyun nct #nct angst #ceo jaehyun

[erosia-rhodes]

Top 9 Newbie thoughts on Supernatural after Six Months of Madness

I started watching Supernatural a week before the series finale, and full disclosure, it was only because I heard about the gay angel. I loved me some Good Omens, so I decided to check out a series my only previous thoughts about had been, "Is that show still on?" In the past six months, I've watched about fifty percent of the episodes scattered across all fifteen seasons. I've also spent time following the bonkers-in-the-best-way fandom on Tumblr, and here is what I have learned:

1) Everyone who loves Supernatural also hates Supernatural

No one is capable of praising this show without also trashing it. Supernatural is as awful as it is awesome. Watching Supernatural is like hate-fucking your nemesis against a wall; you're totally conflicted about it, but it's enormously pleasurable and you know you're going to do it over and over again. No one has a pure, untainted love for this show. They only have complicated emotions. This is because…

2) The fact that the show needs to be fixed is an essential part of its appeal

Strangely, if this show were better, it wouldn't be as popular. If you love a show that is perfect, you watch it once or twice or thrice, make a bunch of memes, and move on with your life two years later when you find something else to hyper-fixate on. If you love a show that's broken, you spend the rest of your life obsessed with fixing it. It's the crooked photo hanging on the wall that yearns to be straightened (because, you know, this show is bad at making things straight). It's the stray dog you know would be adoptable if you fattened it up and socialized it with your other dogs, and just like some people can't stop rescuing animals, Supernatural fans can't stop thinking about how to fix a show that isn't great, but could be with a flea bath and a trip to the groomers. Supernatural fans are not fans of the actual show, but of the show they imagine it could be, one that only exists in an alternate universe. They are in love with the Platonic ideal of Supernatural. That's also the reason why…

3) The fans understand the characters and themes better than 95% of the people who worked on the show

The people who watch Supernatural have thought about it way, way, way, more than anyone who produced it. I have read complex essays about what the color of people's clothing imply and how the state of the Impala reflects the state of Dean's mental health and other things I'm certain this show did not do intentionally. People can find depth in the shallowest aspects of this series. Any random fan could explain the complicated dynamics of the Winchester family and the overriding themes of the series better than most of the people who worked on it. That includes the LGBTQ stuff, which leads to the fact that…

4) The show is simultaneously too gay and not gay enough

On one end of the spectrum are fans who are offended you would dare to suggest one of the Winchesters might like kissing a boy and they'll shove you in a locker and duct tape your butt cheeks together for it. On the other end of the spectrum are fans who think it's odd that every episode doesn't end with two attractive men dry humping in a dark corner of the bunker library. No one is happy with the level of gayness on this show. It's always got too much "No Homo" or too much queer subtext, which is why I've concluded that…

5) The audience this show wanted is not the audience they got and they are resentful of it

The original pitch for this show targeted a male demographic who’s into toxic masculinity in a non-ironic way. It was about bros and beers and muscle cars and shotguns and hot chicks who will be killed to further the man's storyline. However, when making that show, they accidentally created a show that attracted female viewers who liked speculating about the queer subtext of each scene while looking at pretty men with traumatic backstories fight back their man tears. The show depends on the unintended audience segment to survive, but is bitter about it, which they remind you of time and time again by killing the female and non-white characters and toying with endless queer-baiting. It's like the writers got a plane to Rome, ended up in a gay nightclub in Amsterdam instead, and even though the canals and tulips make it a lovely city to visit, they wanted to go to Rome, damnit, and they'll never let you forget it! I also suspect that…

6) The people who made this show were at constant war with each other

This show has such a split personality. Sometimes it leans into the gay stuff and other times it makes fun of it outright. Sometimes they'll introduce an interesting side character that could make the show more diverse and then they'll slaughter that person for practically no reason. Sometimes they praise free will and other times they force people down pre-destined paths. The writers feel like a dysfunctional family stuck at Thanksgiving dinner endlessly squabbling with each other—who then had to write a TV show together over dessert. That's why it's such a weird hot mess. The show's unevenness makes me think that…

7) Some people's attachment to the show can only be explained by the fact that it imprinted on them when they were young

Some fans have mentioned they started watching Supernatural when they were kids. It's a pretty common experience to go back and watch things you loved when you were a kid and realize they were…not so good. Your memories of them are far better than the reality of them, but you cling to them anyway. The shows you watch when you're young imprint on you in a way you never forget. Supernatural fans are like a baby duck who looks up at a cat and assumes it’s their mother. Then that cat slices open their poor little hearts, leaving them wounded but not dead, forever be toyed with in agony. The only relief is that…

8) The fandom is batshit insane in the best way

I started following the Supernatural fandom on Tumblr in November of 2020 and OMG, it was AH-MAZE-ING. It was total insanity. I didn't understand half of what was going on, but it was more fun than a yard full of puppies doing zoomies. People were posting detailed PowerPoint presentations theorizing how the series would end, citing extensive physical evidence like the background in Misha's hotel room. People learned election results through Supernatural memes. Destiel went canon every other week. When the Spanish dub was released, Tumblr literally crashed! Obama's Twitter was following a Destiel account. There was a Twitter wedding for Destiel on Valentine's Day, which made the one-month anniversary on Pi Day.

It's been a ride, y'all. I have no idea how you guys survived fifteen years of this. The fandom has been so much fun that I actually sat down and watched more than 100 hours of this show so I could understand everything better. It's like the show is an extension of the fandom instead of vice versa. If anything sums up Supernatural for me, that's it. It's all about the fandom and the show is secondary to that. It's like the fans willed the show into existence as part of some partially botched spell. And part of that twisted spell is that…

9) The show will never die until someone finds its bones and burns them

This show has been off the air for more than six months now and it keeps trending on Tumblr consistently. Misha recently trended on Twitter simply because he was at the Oscars. That was it! He didn't even do anything there, he just attended, and some people figured it out by the reflection in a photo posted by someone else! And just as I was proofreading this post, Destiel started trending again because John Cena is a stan or something? This fandom is crazy and unpredictable and I love it like Dean loves pie! If there ever does come a time when this show stops trending, that will be the moment when they decide to reboot it or revisit it.

There is a lot more I could say about this show, but these were the elements that seemed most unique and bizarre about it. I wouldn't say Supernatural is a ride-or-die fandom for me, and I have no intention of watching another 100 hours of this series, but it's been hella' fun to drop in for a while. The show is just as much a dysfunctional mess as the Winchester family and I guess that's why people love it, right?

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #misha collins #destiel #the cw #tv #television

[chilly-me-softly]

fluff alphabet for jordan (henderson)

This is my first alphabet so hope I did it right and that you like it! x

A - APRON

Jordan wasn't the best cook in the world, he kept it simple and always made the same recipes sure that the result was more than acceptable. And you loved to see him in action, from the moment he put on his apron until he got to the cooker, his expression always focused as if he were in the middle of a surgical operation. And then his eagerness to know if it was good, the smile on his face when you complimented him, him enormously pleased with himself.

B - BALL

Of course he always has a ball between his feet, many times urging you to play with him. And you're not a professional player at his level, but you certainly manage to distract him in other ways...

C - CUDDLE

After a day of practice what better thing than holding you in his arms while you tell him what happened while he was gone or anything else that comes to mind. Your voice is better than any relaxing drink, so much so that many times he has closed his eyes without even noticing.

But it's the little circles you draw on his arm, the light kisses you leave on his chin from time to time that make his night. Because no matter how much he likes being around the boys, no one pampers him like you do.

D - DINOSAUR

The little dinosaur is supposed to be for your son, but ever since it was given to you, it keeps you company when you're alone. Or even to annoy Jordan as he often complains that you spend more time hugging that soft toy than he does.

"I swear, as soon as he's born, I'll let him have it"

"If you say so" Jordan strokes your eight month old baby bump with a smile on his face, "did you hear mommy? She'll leave you her toys" he leaves a light kiss on your belly as you gasp hitting him with the dinosaur head.

"You're really mean Jordan, go away I never want to see you again" you put on a fake pout as he looks at you softly getting up to be at your height.

"How about you keep this dinosaur, and our son gets another one? You can match"

"I don't need a stuffed animal, I'm a big girl now" but you don't believe it either, him raising an eyebrow clearly amused and you hitting him with the dinosaur again.

E - EXERCISE

Even on his days off Jordan had to work out, the home gym built for the occasion. And he loves showing off for you, when you go to sit on a bench and your gaze settles on his toned, sweaty body.

"Like what you see?" he sneers, gently passing the towel over his face and then laying it on your shoulders, you rolling your eyes faking nonchalance.

"Please my lover is in better shape"

"Oh yeah?" Jordan walks over trapping your legs against the bench and starting to lie on top of you.

"No Jordan you're sticky" you try to desist but he's already on your lips. So you draw him to you by the neck, the thin layer of clothing separating you starting to get annoying.

F - FAMILY PHOTO

Jordan literally loves family photos, a big one of you just on the fireplace. He claims that every year you have to redo it because you all change so much, especially the little ones. Plus that year there is a new member of the family so it has to be redone.

You smile, arranging the ribbon around the baby's head in your arms as a three-year-old runs past your side almost tripping.

"Careful" you sigh, "Come on come over here next to us so we can take the picture and then you can go play" you don't know how he hasn't gotten dirty in some way yet. Jordan and the light shirt obsession. It's cute but totally not appropriate for a vulcano like your kid.

Finally Jordan arrives after talking to the photographer about the shots, wrapping an arm around you briefly. He places a kiss on your temple and the forehead of the little one in your arms before stopping the baby who was about to run away again.

"Just two minutes okay?" he smiles, crouching down and resting his hands on the kid's shoulders, smoothing down his jacket and adjusting his little bow tie before guiding him back to his seat.

And at the end of the week all you have to do is choose the best photo.

G - GETAWAY

Especially in summer you used to disappear to spend some time alone away from schedules, appointments, dinners to attend, families. Nothing was better than disconnecting, just you and Jordan relaxing in a secluded place or being tourists in some unknown location. You did everything you could to keep your mind off your troubles for even a couple of nights and it was always worth it.

H - HUG

All you had to do was say that word and Jordan would drop what he was doing, his arms gently around your body. Sometimes you did it just for the sake of it, but most of the time you just felt the need to be held and he was almost always there to satisfy you.

I - ILL

Sick Jordan was absolutely something. His unkempt state, his bright eyes and his drawling smile made him so cute in your eyes even though he felt like crap.

"Stop looking at me like that" he complains as he always does trying to hide his head somewhere while you smile.

"I'm not doing anything"

"You're looking at me" his voice comes muffled from under the pillow as you try to take it off, stroking his slightly damp hair. You liked taking care of him for once, even if it meant he wasn't at his best. He always seemed so strong, always available for you and that was one of the few times you could somehow return the favour.

He got annoying but you couldn't really take it out on him, could you?!

J - JORDAN

You didn't use nicknames, his name was good like that and you didn't need to change it or not use it at all. And he loved to hear his name coming from you. With hilarity when you were having fun; with sweetness in intimate moments; and yet angry, joking, alarmed, every possible nuance brought a smile to his face.

K - KEY

You were having breakfast one morning, you were enjoying your bowl of cereal while his had become un-eatable by now as he kept throwing you glances not caring about it.

He continues to twist something between the fingers of the hand he has hidden from your view when suddenly Jordan reaches across the table, sliding something towards you. A key.

"This is the house key. I wanted to... well give it to you but don't feel pressured in any way" he doesn't know exactly what he's nervous about, many times he's left you his keys to get in or when he was out of town for emergencies. But you looking at him motionless certainly doesn't help him. Has he made a mistake?

"You're giving me the key to your house?" your gaze on that object, incredulous, not touching it as if it might shock you. "Really?" you always had his keys on loan, having your own meant he trusted you enough to let you into his space even unannounced, or that you wouldn't lose it and risk someone else finding it. It was a really great gesture.

"Yeah I mean I thought you could have your own copy, and use it even when I'm here" a huge smile breaks across your face as you stand up going to sit on Jordan's lap, him scooting his chair further back to allow you to be more comfortable.

"That's...I have no words. Just thank you"

"I like the idea of coming home to find you already comfortable"

"Oh I surely will" you chuckle as you finally take that key in your hands, snapping to your feet causing a confused expression to appear on Jordan's face as you leave for the door.

"I forgot something" you walk back inside using the key and going straight to leave a kiss on his lips as he stands up immediately wrapping his arms around your body. "Are you crazy? It's so cold out there"

"I have a key now" you state with satisfaction as you cling to him.

L - LAUGH

Definitely his trademark, you can recognise it even with your eyes closed. You couldn't be more different than that, you always trying to be as quiet as possible while he was always so loud. But you couldn't help but be mesmerised by his face when he laughed, from his squinted eyes to his head thrown back.

"If I were to lose my memory, I'm sure your laugh would make me remember you" a soft smile on your face as you looked up at him slightly from below lying on his chest as he raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? Why would you lose your memory?"

"I said if, it's a scenario" you roll your eyes pouting, him quickly running his thumb over your lips to remove it.

"Why do you always have to be so tragic?"

"Ugh Jordan it was a compliment, it's not my fault you don't get it" and that laugh is always there to fill your heart.

M - MATCHDAY

Every home game Jordan is sure to have you at the stadium cheering for him. Over the years that has never changed, only skipping games when you weren't feeling well or when you were really pregnant and Jordan would be more concerned about you and your safety than the outcome of the game.

A little unspoken routine between you, him always leaving home early no matter the kick off time to review tactics and you sending him a text to wish him luck with a picture of you - and later a picture of you and the kids - wearing his jersey.

After the match regardless of the result and after he has done any interviews, here you are together sharing a short but sweet moment. You remind him how proud you are of him, the children want to go and play on the pitch.

N - NOSE

His nose brushes your neck as he snuggles up against you to rest; his nose brushes yours gently in an Eskimo kiss before he makes your lips connect; his nose brushes your skin after you have just stepped out of the shower. You often teased him by saying he looked like a tracker but you liked that little attention, the build up to what came next.

O - OLD

You always tease him by claiming he's getting old, sprawled out on the couch after spending half an hour chasing his son completely out of energy while the kid would happily take another ten thousand steps in the backyard.

"If I'm old then so are you, you know that don't you?"

"Yeah" you shrug, "but I'm still younger than you"

P - PIXEL

It's no secret that Jordan travels a lot during the year, your pixilated face seen more times than he'd like. But you don't hold it against him, besides being work it's his dream and moving around so much means he's living it to the fullest; that he's required and indispensable to the team besides being its captain of course.

You have learned to live the moments when you are together, to cheer and not waste it. And every time he stops to look at you while you're sleeping by his side or even just at any other time, he can't stop remembering how much those pixels don't really do you justice.

R - RING

It was a normal day in your life when you realised as a teenager that you had a thing for guys' hands, and if they had rings for some reason it was a bonus.

And many times you'd literally froze as you stared at Jordan's hands moving as he talked or wrote or cooked, the addition of that ring after your wedding didn't help the cause. You were brought back down to earth by his laughter because it was always surprising how one minute you were actively participating in the conversation and the next you were like in trance.

S - SAFE

You don't think you've ever told him verbally but you were lucky enough to have met him. Jordan makes you feel safe and you don't talk about the need to be defended from the bad. You know that with Jordan you can talk about whatever is on your mind without fear of being judged, you know he will always be there for you no matter what. You're immediately heartened by the reminder that he's by your side because any moment is less hard if the right person is by your side.

T - TOMORROW

It is something you often talk about, tomorrow. Everything is unpredictable, you never wanted to make long-term plans because you never know what might happen but only one thing you know for sure that you want Jordan by your side. And your idea matches his.

"You are my tomorrow and as long as I wake up with you by my side I will have a reason to smile"

U - UNIVERSE

"You are my universe"

"Stop it"

"But you are, why wouldn't I tell you" he chuckles as you hit him trying to hide your face.

You are one who is always on the move, always available for others but at the same time doesn't know how to react to compliments. You do what you do not to be praised or anything else but just because you feel like it and every time after a compliment of any kind any word would seem unnecessary, making you stand in front of that person smiling embarrassed making you feel uncomfortable. There, if you had to find a word to describe it you could say that compliments make you uncomfortable.

And Jordan knows this very well, but every now and then when you're alone he starts showering you with compliments and sweet phrases for the sake of it. But the truth is that he likes it when you blush, your cheeks turning red as you do your best not to look him in the eye or hide your face in your hands.

V - VOWS

It seemed years away, but your wedding day had arrived overwhelmingly. You couldn't wait to experience that day and those emotions to the fullest. The thing that had been most challenging for you was the vows, so many things to say without finding the right words. Everything seemed already said, obvious, not perfect and several times you had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown for that small detail.

But on your wedding day, no one around you exists anymore. There's just you and Jordan and your hearts full of love for each other, his thumb caressing the back of your hand for support. You almost forget what you've been struggling to write over those last few months, the words that come easily from your lips just by looking into his eyes.

W - WINNER

Winner takes it all. Jordan watches from afar as you joke with some of his teammates and the only thing he can think about is how that year just ended was one of the most amazing of his life so far, both professionally and in his personal life. He had achieved extraordinary goals with the team, broken records and set new ones. And then he had you who had given him a child a few months earlier and he felt like a winner.

Y - YUMMY

"Yeah that's yummy" Jordan watches his baby close his mouth around the spoon and then bring his thumb to his mouth getting messy with his own food.

"Why do you do that hm? Why?" his tone of voice only makes the child laugh as he waits for another bite clapping his hands on the high chair. Jordan quickly satisfies him seeing the same scene repeat itself, the little hands that have now become sticky and are getting everything they touch dirty like they always do at feeding time.

Z - ZOOM

His professionalism never fails to amaze you as you watch him from afar managing to handle questions in front of a computer. It will be the third interview in which he's asked the same things over and over again and you have never seen him make any gesture of tiredness or annoyance. And you are waiting for him to finally get up from that chair to wrap him in your arm and give him the right amount of pampering he needs to clear his head of everything.

#thank you anon #jordan henderson #jordan henderson blurb

[serenheist]

What Jennie is like in a relationship/ Relationship with G-Dragon Tarot reading

I know the anon asked for just a love life reading on Jennie but I’m extra and did everything lmao

What is the true nature of Jennie’s relationship with gdragon? Gloominous doom reversed 56, ace of swords, the hanged man reversed, lady of masks, triumph of lies, the glanconer 62 reversed

Oh god lmao. I don’t know why but I get the feeling this “relationship” is just for GD to be back on good terms with the korean general public. He got flack for smoking weed before, seungri shit, abandoning his dog, dating kiko etc etc. I really feel like him dating Jennie is just so the public has a better opinion of him when he decides to have a comeback lmao. Anyway the true nature of this relationship is literally someone full of extreme self pity had an idea to do this because it will make them look better and vice versa. But now there’s a feeling of being trapped. I really think this is an orchestrated relationship that was rushed and not based on actual love but for a specific purpose. But I do think it’s legit in the sense that it’s not that they’re not dating at all. But since Yg didn’t deny anything we can tell it’s “real”. Yg always denies if it’s definitely not a real relationship and always stays vague when it’s real. It’s made to look real for the public to get them talking but the core itself isn’t real. Basically pr shit. idc even if they got married none of this is real lmao.

I pulled 2 more cards from 2 different decks for extra clarification and I got the lady of masks and triumph of lies. You can’t make this up lol. “She reshapes the physical appearance of the souls who seek her out but this change is pure vanity, changing nothing of who they are at the core” it basically reflects who you want to be. This relationship is to make both parties look better lol. I feel that this is also a double meaning geared towards Jennie only because later cards in this reading continuously mention her wearing a mask. Triumph of lies is about keeping up appearances. This relationship is about living up to the expectations that society wants from you. I feel like it’s not just what people in the company want but also could be friends and family who put pressure on making this relationship happen for both. I can really see that since GD has a past of dating mostly models and the public has always been negative about everyone he’s dated except Jennie since she has a better reputation and for her this relationship can boost her status even more dating the king of kpop and being a power couple. I pulled a last card just to ask why you would need to fake a whole relationship even though we already know at this point and it’s redundant but I wanted to see how many times I can get cards saying the same shit. The glanconer 62 reversed: basically AGAIN someone is pretending to be other than they really are. I think both of them even believe in their own lie at this point and idk there’s a level of thinking you’re better than others so it’s okay to fool them anyway. Whatever makes you look good.

Who is Jennie in this/ her shadow aspect: obsession 3, gd: today for tomorrow 32

Since the beginning cards were pretty negative I wanted to dive deeper into Jennie and GD’s shadow aspects. And just use these cards to differentiate between them. GD is today for tomorrow and for Jennie I got obsession. The biggest shadow aspect to Jennie is that she feels as if she needs something whether that be a person, an idea, an object etc to give meaning to her life. She can also become really fixated on things to the point where that is the entire focal point of her life. It numbs her attention to other things.

How does Jennie feel about gd and how does he feel about her? Solus 13, the high priestess, the hierophant, gd: the guardian at the gate 3, queen of wands reversed, the fool

Jennie: Jennie feels that GD is someone who when you don’t know who to turn to or what to do, he is the person who can help you out. He encourages you stand on your own feet and utilize your own wisdom. But he also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he helps you make the right connections with the right people and basically like a mentor position. I feel like they both almost see this connection as something “divine” at least in the beginning they could’ve convinced themselves this was this big divine intervention. But the reality started to set in and Jennie saw a different side of someone who has lost touch and went from being someone to look up to to becoming more “corrupted”. He no longer practices what he preaches, there’s lies mixed in with truth and the lines between right and wrong became more blurred. He does what he can to stay in power.

GD: He feels that Jennie is a new opportunity for a huge change. She’ll help provide an opportunity for him to make a big shift in his life. But at the same time he feels like she’s guarding herself and not being authentic with him. “Wearing masks that do not fit you”. I think he’s seen her change moods often from not figuring out how to release her passion and creativity in a healthy way and become more jealous and wanting to tear down others when she’s feeling down. Cause the queen of wands would be stepping in your power not hiding behind anything and appearing exactly how you are. Reversed it can bring out bring dramatic and feeling out of control of your own life and lack of enthusiasm. I think he’s seen her lose her passion for even being in the industry itself. I think that’s he’s wanting to take a leap of faith into something new I don’t know if he would want to stay in this “relationship” but I’m seeing it more of him going off on his own and stop worrying about the fear of the unknown. Honestly both seem like a hot mess for each other there’s a lot of work they gotta do on themselves separately because this whole connection is weird and toxic.

How long does it take her to get into a relationship? Does she prefer long or short term relationships? Princess of pentacles, 3 of swords, queen of swords 5 of wands reversed, 2 of wands, temperance reversed

She’s always been observant and was careful before in the beginning of relationships but no amount of carefulness can’t prevent heartbreak. It kind of hardened her and she learned how to play the game so to speak. The fact that the queen of swords is holding a severed head tells you all you need to know what happens if you break her heart. She seems burnout with relationships but at the same time can’t stop herself from not being in one because then you’ll be alone with your demons. I think she does prefer long term relationships but Jennie seems to go from one extreme to another. She plans for the long term but she also can’t control her emotions because they’re so intense. She’ll sabotage it and rush into a relationship with someone because she’s already planning this whole future and the other person is like “uhhh we just met..?” I think she builds up a fantasy in her head and gets carried away at times. And that’s where a lot of conflict and arguments arise and the cycle continues.

Past and present relationships. past: firgun 10 magick of you oracle, 2 of pentacles, Present: Euphoria 9, 5 of cups

I hate this word but I feel like in her past relationships she felt like the person she was with was her “twin flame”. This person was her mirror basically, every little thing she was and did was mirrored back to her. It was about learning how to heal the anger and hurt and learn to be happy for others success. But the relationship itself was a constant act of balancing career and love and all the ups and downs. It seems like even in her present love life she is still lingering over past relationships and now hides her actual feelings. There’s a lot of mask imagery in this whole reading. And not seeing everything you already have but being consumed with the thoughts of what went wrong or why it isn’t this way. And no longer sharing your true self fully. Instead there’s an element of not her not taking care of herself physically. Sharing herself intimately with people who treat her like garbage, poor eating, dragging yourself through workouts, excess of toxic substances; these are examples.

What is she like in a relationship? Eternal servitor, 10 of pentacles reversed, the lady of the harvest 18 reversed, the singer of intuition 7

This imagery of a person with no face and a whole in its chest really stands out to me again. It seems that when Jennie is in a relationship she still hides her true self and is constantly on a never ending search to fill something in herself that she feels is lacking. I think she uses money, clothing, love itself as a way to distract herself from this emptiness she feels inside and each time she wants more and more. Like she has to upgrade to the next biggest thing and it traps her in an infinite loop of never being satisfied. Idk but I guess it’s her wanting the world to see her importance; if she has these things then she is now worthy and it gives her a feeling of purpose. It’s not just the pressure of herself needing the best “thing” but a loooot of pressure from family and others to find a “suitable” partner. They need to come from the right background, make this amount of money, etc so her family can show off how wonderful this partner is and how amazing Jennie is doing. Even the next card “the lady of the harvest” reversed speaks of this again. It’s crazy how almost all of the cards are just saying the same thing. It’s about staying in denial and refusing to accept a loss and cling onto pain instead. Jennie is the type of person who thinks “if I can’t have it, no one will”. When she sees something she wants and can’t get it she will go into destruction mode because she feels that it’s the only solution. She’s not a forgive and forget person. A line in this guidebook really stands out to me “if you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.” Pretty much sums up her mentality. Even if she enters a new relationship her mind is consumed by the past and the present relationship is only to save face and show off the image she tries to create to please literally everyone except herself. I think she’s very perceptive and can know someone who she’s with inside and out. She’s also very aware of the image she needs to uphold. There’s pretty much nothing you can hide from her because her intuition is so strong.

What is her "type"? the piper 24, 8 of wands reversed, Ta’Om the poet 29, Arthur

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: she likes musicians. Also the fact that this is legit the only faerie in this 66 card deck playing an instrument so what are the odds. She appreciates someone who pays attention to the subtle expressions of feelings and ideas and can see into her soul basically. It’s communication without words and that makes music that can heal your sorrows and pains. Someone that listens to not just surface level words but to the deeper meaning that can only be heard with your heart. Seductive, someone who looks serious but is actually mischievous and fun.

He encourages you to unfold your wings and fly, do the things you’re afraid to do, stop being silent and speak up, have a youthful spirit and do the thing you’ve been putting off for so long. He has a lust for life, adventure, an excellent storyteller and writing skills and a huge imagination. He has the power to inspire action with just his words. He sees things as they really are and sees beauty in all things even in the darkness and difficulty of life. He doesn’t take life so seriously though he knows how to laugh at himself and knows how silly it is to be sad over hardships in life. He doesn’t care for society’s expectations he’s a free spirit. But at the same time he slows down and knows how to enjoy the journey and not rush by the seat of his pants. He’s someone that’ll stand the test of time and be by her side through thick and thin.

What is her love language? Myk the myomancer 42, the oak men 47, 10 of wands

Idk if this really fits into any of the “official”love languages but her love language is someone seeing the small details, seeing meaning in the little things. So maybe little gifts even that don’t have to be huge but just shows that you’ve paid attention to what she likes as long as it has meaning and is well thought out. When you can’t see the finish line and it looks like it’s impossible to keep going that person is there to have your back. Also someone that sees her for who she truly is in her heart and can look past the superficial hard exterior cause I’m pretty sure it’s just a defense mechanism mixed with the environment she grew up and past relationships and she’s not actually the Antichrist contrary to how negative this reading may seem.

Probably typos but whateves

#kpop tarot #blackpink tarot #blackpink jennie #kpop readings #kpop predictions #kpop #jennie kim #g dragon #free tarot #free tarot readings #kpop tarot reading #blackpink #tarot reading #tarot love #blackpink astrology #tarot cards #oracle cards #kpop astrology #blackpink tarot reading

[sinner-as-saint]

You Were Made To Be Mine - 2.

Pirate!Bucky x Mermaid!Reader

Part 2 of this series

Run-through: Bucky is one of the greatest pirates ever known. Living peacefully in his vast and flourishing archipelago; filthy rich and respected by all those around him. He is the leader of his people and his massive fleet, and is viewed as no less than a king by his crew and the people on his lands. He, however, has a secret that he keeps from everyone. The infamous and brawny pirate has lost his heart to one of the most beautiful creations he’s ever seen – you. Ever since the moment he saw you, he knew that you were meant to be his. But he belonged to the earth, you to the ocean. Could love and resilience somehow find a way to unite two worlds?

Themes: mermaid!reader, mythological elements, pirate!bucky, fluff, angst

Bucky had never experienced heartache before.

But right now, as he was sat alone on the rock where he usually met up with you at nightfall, he concluded that no pain was more terrible than the heartache he felt when you didn’t show up at your regular meeting spot one night.

His throat hurt given he had called out your name so much and so loudly for the past hour or so. Usually, whenever he called, you’d show up within seconds. But today, it had been over an hour and there was no sign of you. Fear, worry, guilt and pain – it all hit him right in the face like a harsh wave.

“Where are you, my little pearl?” he murmured to himself in his hoarse voice as he sat on the rock alone, sulking and missing you so terribly he felt physically sick. Now he understood why the saddest lovers wrote the most devastatingly beautiful poems because right now Bucky felt overwhelmed by emotions he didn’t know one could feel and if he had a pen and paper in hand, he would write the most melancholic of poems while he pines for you as well.

My little pearl… Bucky chuckled sadly at the nickname he gave you a while ago. It started when one day you brought him the prettiest shell you had ever found, and inside it was a lovely, shiny little pearl.

-

“Isn’t it the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” you had asked, excitedly showing him what you had found that day.

Bucky nodded. “It is pretty, but not more that you.” And since, he loved how you blushed and hid your face each time he called you ‘his little pearl’ after that. And given the ocean was your home, the nickname was very fitting.

-

The fear settled in not long after. What if you were lost somewhere and you couldn’t find your way back? What if you were injured? What if you were lost and injured and couldn’t call out for help? What if… what if you had found a merman and decided to stay because Bucky wasn’t worth it? He knew he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t help but think so.

No!

Bucky’s possessive nature took over and he was going crazy with each passing moment spent in your absence. His anger soon morphed into complete and utter sadness. And he was miserable. He had seen you just a day ago, but he missed you terribly already. Your hair, your soft lips, the vibrant colors of your tail, your warm but damp hugs; all of you.

He stayed put there for the entire night, alert and waiting. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited until dawn, and he rowed back to his island; sad and heartbroken. Did you leave him? Were you lost? Did you find someone else? Were you injured or trapped somewhere because of your obsession with that mythical potion?

If it weren’t for Steve running into him as he made his way home, Bucky would’ve shed a tear or two. That’s how much he was hurting.

“You look like a mess.” Steve pointed out. “Where have you been?” he asked, clearly seeing that something was wrong with Bucky.

Been waiting for the love of my life to show up at our usual meeting spot, but she didn’t come. I don’t know if she’s mad, or in trouble or hurt, or all of that. “Just out.” Bucky replied and made his way to his home, in desperate need for some hours of sleep.

-

Nightfall came again and Bucky rowed back to the isles at around midnight. He didn’t find you on the rock like he always did, again. He didn’t see the flicker of excitement of your fins as he got closer. He didn’t see you. And his heart felt like it was being torn apart.

He called out your name again. And again. And again like a madman. But you didn’t show up. Bucky waited on top of the rock again, looking up at the starry night sky and drowning in his sadness. Then out of nowhere, he heard the soft splash of water he knew all too well.

“Sweetheart, is that you?” he sat up straight and looked around; alert again. He heard the splash again. And the spark of hope inside him which was fading out, came to life again. With the help of the burning torch by his side, he could see quite well.

And then he saw it. The shiny tail, the silky fins and the beautiful face he was madly, dangerously and hopelessly in love with.

“Y/N!” he called out your name and didn’t think twice before jumping in the water and met you in the middle as you made your way to him. You had the biggest smile on your face as he swam towards you. He threw his arms around you and held on to you to keep himself afloat but also to hold you as close to him as possible.

You giggled at how he behaved almost like a little child, clinging to you for dear life. You wouldn’t lie, supporting the muscular man and yourself above water was a little hard. But you welcomed his almost suffocating embrace without any complaints because you had missed him terribly and you were aware you hadn’t come to meet him yesterday so you had to make up for it.

“I missed you!” you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and your lower body worked extra hard to keep the two of you above the surface.

Bucky almost shed tears, he couldn’t believe you were here in flesh and blood, not a fragment of his imagination, but the real you. “Never disappear like that ever again, you hear me?” he sounded relieved and angry and heartbroken all at once as he chided you but also held you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

“I won’t, I promise. I’m sorry.” You whispered in his ear, pushing your face into the crook of his neck and relished his warmth. The water was cool, so his body heat felt heavenly. Bucky pulled away and swam on his own for a bit, realizing that he had shifted all his weight onto you earlier.

“Where the hell were you?” he sounded hurt. “I was waiting, I waited the whole night.” He recalled how upset he was last night and you felt guilty for not showing up.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t explain why you didn’t show up! Where were you?” he wasn’t going to let you go without getting the truth out.

You hung your head down in shame and guilt. And Bucky knew what that look meant. “Come on up.” He swam over to the rocks and climbed up, thinking you were right behind him. But when he turned to look at you, he found you still in the water. He frowned. “Sweetheart, come on up.” He held his hand out for you. You swam a little closer but stayed in the water.

“I’m… I’m good here actually.” You tried your hardest to convince him but he didn’t buy any of it. He raised an eyebrow at your words.

“You don’t want to come up on our rock?” he sounded confused. And you couldn’t help but faintly smile at how it was ‘our rock’.

You shook your head gently. “No, I’m fine here.” You lied.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “Okay, just…” he exhaled loudly. “Tell me what’s going on, okay? Because first you disappear out of nowhere, then you come back a day later and act like this. What is going on?” he had the right to be a little mad. Hell, if he just disappeared out of nowhere like that you would be pretty upset as well.

You kept your head hung and decided to just be honest and tell him truth. So you began; you told Bucky about how you went to search for the potion. And how you accidentally found yourself in unknown, deep, dark and dangerous waters; far from home. And how you got lost for a long while, and almost became the meal to larger predators. And how you escaped, but were injured because one of them chased you and almost sank its teeth completely into your tail. You told him how you returned home; worn out, injured and bleeding and unable to swim properly. One of your siblings tended to your wound as soon as you got home but the pain was so bad that you passed out for hours and only woke up a few minutes ago.

Bucky listened attentively. Each new piece of information about the terrible situation hit him like a violent storm; leaving him breathless and mind blown in the worst way. So his gut feeling had been right all along; you were indeed lost and hurt so far away from him. And had things turned out just a little differently, he would perhaps never see you again.

Bucky remained quiet even when you were done talking, sheepishly filling him in on all that you did and all that happened to you. You knew a long lecture about your safety was coming sooner or later. But honestly, this time you deserved it. Then again, you were doing this for both of you. You were desperate to be part of his world and share this life with him, and you couldn’t do so until you were able to walk the ground he walks on.

After a few long minutes of silence, after processing all of it, he spoke up, “Let me see it.” He asked, referring to the wound you had gotten.

You got to the sandy shore and waited for Bucky to approach you with the burning touch in his hand. He squatted down beside you and inspected your tail thanks to the light provided by the torch. He found the wound at around the middle of your tail. A long, irritated and bloody gash. Part of which was wrapped in algae; he remembered you telling him that some algae were used as medicines by merpeople.

His demeanor changed as soon as he saw the wound. He felt guilty, because he was the initial reason why you were chasing after this potion. In some ways, although indirectly, he was the reason why you were hurt and he almost lost you forever had it not been for luck or your extreme survival skills and courage.

“What was it?” he asked, his voice was calm but it didn’t hide his anger nor his guilt completely.

“I didn’t see. It was too dark down there. But it was big and scary and loud.”

You could feel something bad was coming. A gut feeling, or something told you that something was going to happen soon which would hurt you a hundred times more than the wound on your body. Bucky planted the torch on the sand, a few feet far from where you sat, and he plopped down next to you. And something told you he was gathering the courage to say something which was going to break you.

Truth is, he was hurting. Hurting so bad that he wanted to scream and shout and beg someone, anyone, to make it stop. Like a thousand cuts, open and raw and bleeding – the pain was indescribable. He almost lost you, and he was going crazy just thinking about it. His head was almost dizzy and his heart was racing. He wasn’t thinking straight. All he knew was that he was the reason why you could’ve gotten killed and worse part is, if you did – he would never know.

“I can’t risk losing you.” he said, looking down at the sand beneath him.

You watched him intently. It always amazed you how perfect his side profile was. Perfect lips, perfect nose. Only today, his pretty eyes were sad. “You’re not going to. I’m fine. I came back, didn’t I?”

“Yeah but you also almost got eaten by some mysterious sea monster. And if you did, that would be on me.”

Oh no… you knew where this was going. “But I didn’t. I-,”

He cut you off quickly. “I love you, alright? I love you and I never knew it was humanly possible to love someone this much. But Y/N, I can’t sit here and watch you try to get yourself killed over something which probably doesn’t exist!” he paused, chest heaving as he tried to contain his emotions. “What if you go out there tomorrow and this time you didn’t come back? What then?”

You hung your head down as the image of a heartbroken Bucky filled your head. “What happened yesterday isn’t going to happen again. I know what to look out for now.”

“Do you?” he asked calmly, trying to make you realize that this was wrong. “You need to get this myth and give up this crazy obsession, you hear me? Why can’t we be normal and happy without it? Why can’t we just-,”

You cut him off rather coldly. “Because look at us!” you raised your voice a little. “There’s nothing normal about us! We can’t be anything more than this without it, it’s our only hope, why don’t you get it? We both want the same thing, Buck. I need to be with you, I want to. And this will-,”

He shook his head and then turned to you, “Can’t you see what’s happening? You almost got killed because of it!” he was getting hyper too.

You waited a little while before answering, trying to read him. “Not being with you is killing me as well.”

That broke him.

His anger vanished into thin air. “Come here, my little pearl.” His voice softened as he carefully pulled you onto his lap. Your tail rested sideways on his lap and you placed your head on his shoulder while his wrapped his arm protectively around you. “You got hurt because of me.” He stated softly.

You sighed and persisted. “No.”

He pressed his lips to the side of your head. “Yes, and that can’t keep happening. I won’t allow you put yourself in danger on my account.”

No… “Please don’t leave me.” You pushed your face into the crook of his neck to hide your tears. “Please.”

He sighed. “Can you promise me you will stop looking for that thing?”

“No.” You held on to the hope with all your heart that you will find it one day. You knew you were really close to finding it too, you couldn’t possibly give up now. Besides, once you did you and Bucky could be together forever without the barrier of physical differences and that was the only thing which mattered.

Bucky sighed in frustration. “This makes me feel so selfish. And guilty. And just overall terrible. You’re putting yourself in danger, you’re getting chased by predators, and you’re getting hurt and all for what? Me?” he paused and pulled away to look at you. “I love you that way you are, you don’t have to change for me. Just stop looking for this thing.” He sounded much calmer than before.

This was another fear of yours. How long would he be indifferent to the fact that you both were of different kinds? “A few years from now, you’re gonna want a wife. You’ll want kids, and a family. And I wouldn’t be able to give you any of that.”

“I don’t want any of that if it’s not with you.”

You sighed. He did too. Then he made a decision which hurt him more than anything. The sight of you wounded was heartbreaking. And he didn’t want to find you with a bigger wound the next day, or worse, he didn’t want you to lose your life. He would rather you live the rest of your life safely, without him, rather than risk your life trying to be with him.

“I have to let you go, my love.” he whispered the words you wished you hadn’t heard. You immediately circled your arms around him tighter and sniffled, nuzzling his neck.

“Please don’t.” you whispered. Bucky let the tear fall finally, unable to hold it in. You spoke again, “Each day I wake up and find that more and more of my people are moving far from here. It’s just a matter of time before they all leave, leaving me behind.”

The thought of you all alone down there where he couldn’t physically reach you or protect you was no less than a nightmare. But that path that you’d have to go down just to be with him was scary as well, and it would hurt you. So Bucky convinced himself that he was doing this for your own good. He took a deep breath, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “I have to do this.”

You sniffled again, tightening your arms around him. “No. You can’t give up on me. You’re all I have, Buck. Please.” You pleaded. He kissed the side of your head and cradled your head gently like you were a fragile glass figurine.

“You can have a long and beautiful life ahead. One where you won’t have to leave your home, where you won’t have to change or chase after a myth or get hurt-,” he stopped talking when he heard a sob escape your lips. He pulled you closer and hugged you tighter.

“No.” you cried, wetting his skin with your warm tears.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

“I love you, more than anything. And I know I will never be able to love another. But for your own well-being, I need to let you go. Because although it will kill me each day, I would rather live with the relief that you’re out there alive somewhere rather than live with the guilt that you got yourself killed while trying to be with me.” Bucky tried his hardest to keep his voice steady. He couldn’t.

“Don’t leave me.” Another sob left your lips.

He sighed, his breath shaky. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, I always will. But I can’t see you getting hurt like this because of me. This is for your own good.” He pressed one last kiss to the top of your head and carefully lifted you off his lap and set you down on the sand again.

He got up and your heart began racing much faster than earlier. You felt like you were about to pass out again. Your heartache morphed into rage inside of you, but you managed to contain it. “This is it then, huh? You’re just gonna leave me here like everyone else and forget me and move on with your life?” your sounded bitter and you had every right to be.

Bucky looked down at you and blinked his tears away. “I could never forget you. And I will love you till my dying day. Believe me, this isn’t any easier for me. But this is the only way to stop you from getting yourself hurt or killed. You need to let go of that madness.”

You chuckled dryly at his words. Borderline angry, borderline hurt. “You were wrong when you said you were selfish. You’re not just that, but you’re a coward as well.” Bucky watched how you wiped your tears and got back into the water. And before you swam away, you turned around to look at him. “If you change your mind, I hope you hurt just like you’re hurting me. But unlike you, I won’t be giving up on us.” You spat at him before you swam away as fast as you could.

As he watched you leave, he second guessed what he had done. He hoped you didn’t think that he loved you any less because you were different and belonged to a different world than him.

You didn’t think that way. And you knew he loved you just as much as you loved him but you had never expected him to take such drastic steps. You were hurting and before you knew it, you found yourself diving deeper. And while overthinking and bearing your heartache, realization hit a little later than usual and you found yourself swimming further and further away from home; into deeper and darker waters…

 -

When Bucky got back home, he was greeted by his close friends all waiting for him in the well-lit dining room; all sat around the large, oval stone table with goblets in front of them. Bucky tried his hardest to greet them like he normally did.

“You know we can see right through your bullshit, right?” Sam spoke first. The rest of his friends stared at him and Bucky knew that they knew that something was up. They were the closest friends he had, they were family and he knew they could see right through him.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked, trying to act cool and received a bunch of groans and sighs of frustrations.

Steve spoke up next, “You leave almost every day at midnight. You row to God knows where, then you come back at the crack of dawn. And now you look like you’re a sad trader who just lost all his ships.” Steve spoke almost teasingly, but his concern could be heard in his voice.

“We’re your family, you know you can tell us anything.” Thor spoke up next.

“What is it, Barnes? Tell us.” Okoye spoke after. She was the kindest, strongest woman Bucky had ever come across.

Bucky hesitated. Oh so they noticed? He was glad that they did, because that would make talking about it a little easier. Only the issue here was, would they believe him if he told them the truth? Or would they just think that he’s lost it?

“Bucky. Talk.” Sam was beginning to lose his patience.

Bucky took a deep breath as he took a seat at the table as well. He grabbed the nearby jug of wine and filled the goblet closest to him and took a long sip. Then exhaled loudly and began talking.

“It’s… a woman.” His first few words earned him curious looks and a smirk from Okoye. “Well, not exactly a woman but…”

Ten minutes later, Bucky finally finished filling his friends in on all that’s been going on for the past many months. He told them about his unusual love life involving you. And how things began getting complicated and then gave them necessary details about your recent break up. They listened with straight faces. And despite being a bunch who always joked around, they were surprisingly serious as he talked.

When he was done, his friends were all quiet for a whole minute. Then Okoye spoke up,“You broke that poor thing’s heart when she spent all this time loving you?”

When she put it like that, something shattered inside Bucky. “I… I love her and I couldn’t sit there and watch her-,” Bucky stopped talking as Okoye shot him a glare. And that glare spoke volumes so he immediately stopped talking.

“Don’t make excuses. You broke her heart.” Okoye said in her no nonsense tone. “She wanted to come live with you. Among us. What’s so wrong with that?”

Bucky answered quickly after taking another sip of wine. “There’s nothing wrong with that. But how could I support that decision of hers when it would only hurt her even more. And the worse thing is, even if she’s trapped somewhere down there, I would never know.” he took a deep breath. “What if she dies chasing this god damned potion? What about me then?”

His words did make his friends think some more. Maybe his intention had been right, but the way he dealt with the situation wasn’t so right.

Steve whispered under his breath, “Well, love really does make people go crazy.”

Bucky spoke up again. “She was so hell bent and obsessed with finding that nonsense that she wasn’t realizing she was putting herself in danger.” His chest heaved, his emotions choking him. “She shouldn’t have to change for my love. She should embrace who she is and live her life. And be safe and happy.” At this point, he began doubting his own words and actions.

Could he himself live without you? How long could he pretend that ‘doing the right thing’ wasn’t killing him already?

“Why are you so against the potion?” Thor asked.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. “Because it doesn’t exist. It’s a myth, a legend.”

“How do you know?” Sam asked, leaning back in his seat. His brown eyes staring into Bucky’s blue ones. “Months ago merpeople were myths to you as well. Now you’re foolishly in love with one of them.” he reasoned.

Bucky got really quiet again and avoided everyone’s eyes. Had he… had he made a terrible, terrible mistake?

Steve spoke up, leaning his elbows on the stone table. “Look, all this potions and merpeople, this all just proves that there’s a whole other world beneath us that we know nothing about. We should respect them. For their own safety, and we could at least try and protect them by keeping this a secret just between us.” He paused then stared at Bucky, “What we shouldn’t do is break their hearts when they’ve fallen in love with us!”

Yup, he deserved that one.

“You said it yourself, family and friends first. She’s your girl, she’s family. The least you could do was trust her and not give up on her.” Sam said in a serious tone. “Besides, how can you say for sure that she’ll give up on trying to find that potion now?”

Well shit. He hadn’t thought about that. He froze, tensing up at Sam’s words. Shit, shit, shit.

“You should go apologize. Now.” Okoye suggested.

Bucky groaned and wanted to bang his head on the wall. “She took off. She’s mad at me.” He mumbled and his friends all rolled their eyes at him and groaned in annoyance, mainly at his stupidity.

-

Heeding his friends’ words, Bucky went to find you the next day at nightfall. Except he didn’t have to be sneaky this time because they all knew he was leaving. But when he got to the isle and called out your name, you didn’t show up.

And a bad vibe loomed around him and around the place. He knew immediately that he had indeed, majorly messed up. He shouldn’t have let go of you like that. He thought he was doing the right thing but turns out, he ruined the best thing in his life.

Bucky waited at the shore. Heartbroken and hurt and angry – at himself. He was just trying to keep you safe. But in doing so, had he just lost the love of his life? For good this time?

#bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #pirate!bucky #mermaid!reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #marvel au #bucky barnes

[lucientelrunya]

Like a lonely house pt 3

Phew, I feel a little like that bird meme "the risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math" (which I really am *points to the 70 years that are actually 80 years* !!), with how I went "Huh, there is no 50.000+words slow burn of them, but I want!!!" and my brain was like "well, do it yourself. Here, have Chapter 1, 3, 6 and 9, I already prepared them. Oh and here is some Ba Ye+Wu Xie-friendship" And then I struggle with how to bridge the gap between those chapters.....

This part is me struggling really hard. Trying to bridge those gaps and trying to puzzle Mystic Nine-Canon and Book-Canon together. Like, Wu Laogou??? He wasn't even born? My perfectionism can't handle this!! But I guess I am like Hamilton, I'll never be satisfied *sigh*, so ... yeah. Feel free to point out any mistakes you spot!

I should definitely add that this is canon-divergent... ish (which canon???), I'm not sure if there is anything I should warn about in this part, maybe just more sadness? But @psychic-waffles and @gaiahenshin wanted someone to hug Zhang Rishan so ... here you go I guess ^^°°° (I see those tags and reblogs and favorites and I am beyond thrilled every single time, I don't even know how to react!)

It takes a conscious effort to make his lungs work properly again and take a deep breath. Fo Ye had entrusted him with his legacy and he will do everything he can to not disappoint him any further. He has to face the consequences of what he has done, he has to. But before he can get a grip on himself someone tips his chin up to shine a flashlight right into his eyes. He automatically flinches back from the blinding light, dislodging the hand from his face in the process and finds Huo Daofu staring at him, flashlight in his hand and one brow raised. “Back with us?” he asks, eyes scanning Zhang Rishan’s face methodically and only taking a step back once he nods slowly. How long had he stood frozen, trapped in his thoughts for Huo Daofu to come over and start to worry?

“Good. Any more insights on god-radio?” What is he talking about? "God-radio?" Zhang Rishan repeats slowly, confused, which only makes Huo Daofu raise both brows this time. He pointedly looks over at the mural where Zhang Rishan's fingers are still touching the picture of said god. Ah, they must have thought it was still somehow communicating with him.

“Time travel”, Zhang Rishan mutters, trying to ignore the way Luo Que hovers anxiously at his side and the way Ba Ye has his hands wrapped around his upper arm like he had always done when he wanted to hide behind him or was whining about something (and the possible connection between those two things). His words cause several confused “huh”’s from different directions. Taking a slow deep breath he braces himself to say the words, to confess and take the blame for this mess. “No, I didn't get any further godly insights, but I think Ba Ye is right, he never died, he was, as you phrased it so nicely, plucked from the past and put here, now”, he says, inclining his head at Wu Xie.

“But why?” Ba Ye asks and Zhang Rishan makes himself turn his head to look at him when he says his next words. “Because of me.” And there it is. “Because this god was inside my mind and it was so incredibly thankful I gave it its freedom that it wanted to give something to me in return, to grant me a wish.” Not that he had wished for Ba Ye to be ripped out of his time, exactly, his thoughts had been a jumbled mess at that moment. He had never consciously wished for anything in particular. But Ba Ye’s sudden disappearance in the middle of a war had torn a hole into Fo Ye’s heart and, by extension, into Zhang Rishan’s (not only by extension, of course, because Ba Ye had been important to Zhang Rishan, too - is important - but to Fo Ye he had practically been family). He could have said how Fo Ye had looked for Ba Ye for months, for years, with a war raging right on their doorstep, when thousands of people were dying or disappearing, when the city they had so desperately tried to protect had been burned to the ground. How Fo Ye had never truly gotten over not being able to find him - save him - or at least find out what happened. He had felt Ba Ye’s absence all his life, a regret he couldn’t let go of, not even on his deathbed. A regret Zhang Rishan had taken into his own heart, after Fo Ye’s death, added to his own regrets and moulded into a lump of regret-failure-pain-bitterness-sorrow that his trained mind still hasn’t filed away properly. He has failed Ba Ye, too, and has missed Ba Ye, too. And this is his mess, this is what his jumbled thoughts had made a god do, so he leaves it at that.

Zhang Rishan is prepared for anger, for reproaches, for being smacked again, but Ba Ye’s face is unreadable and he doesn’t say anything, his fingers around Zhang Rishan’s arm only slightly tightening their grip. He waits for something - anything - to happen, (maybe for the sky to fall down or the earth to open up and swallow him), for him to wake up and realize everything’s only just been a dream - nightmare? - or for one of them to tell him he’s crazy and there’s no way this could be possible. And someone does: “But that’s impossible, that would be a paradox”, Wu Xie says and Zhang Rishan looks at him pointedly.

“A bootstrap paradox, to be exact”, Huo Daofu remarks and really, that’s the part of all of this he wants to comment on? “A what now?” Pangzi asks, squinting at Huo Daofu and Zhang Rishan is glad he is not the only one who has no idea what Huo Daofu is talking about. “A bootstrap paradox. It basically describes phenomena with a cause-effect-loop just like this. I mean, you don’t know my gran, but she was absolutely obsessed with the famous Qi Tiezui so I don’t know how many times I heard the story of his tragic, mysterious disappearance and all the questions and the search and Zhang Da Fo Ye’s heartbreak.” He looks like he wants to roll his eyes in annoyance at the mention of his grandmother. “But that’s exactly that. He vanished and you wanted to find out why and that wish brought him here in the first place. So what came first? There is no discernable point of origin for- what, I like Sci-Fi, don’t look at me like that!”

It is somehow reassuring and disconcerting at the same time that Huo Daofu of all people manages to sum up his thoughts like this, aside from his guilt. And that he is able to put a name to this, even if that doesn’t mean it’s a real thing. Fiction is fiction after all. How can there even be such a thing? But then, how could there be a god chained to a cave or a mysterious force controlling people like that or golden coffin water that saved people from certain death? After everything else he has already seen and lived through or just heard about in his life he shouldn’t be so doubtful. It’s also quite unsettling how much Huo Daofu knows about Ba Ye’s disappearance and how casually he mentions those details. But Ba Ye doesn’t seem too upset about the mention of Fo Ye’s heartbreak, at least for the moment. Instead he perks up at Huo Daofu’s words.

“Good, good! After all you heard and all you read about that then it must be a real thing, so I think we can all agree that all of this is real and I am real!” And, curiously, Wu Xie looks at Liu Sang, who jerks his head in a small gesture of confirmation that’s not really a nod. But it is obviously enough for Wu Xie to smile at Ba Ye and nod. “Yes, I think we can. And I wanted to ask you something. You were the one who stole one of my grandpa’s dogs, right?” The question makes Ba Ye laugh awkwardly and let go of Zhang Rishan’s arm, so he can gesture at Wu Xie.

“Of course that’s what he would tell his grandchildren about me. Let me tell you, I took out that dog’s gallstones and I brought it back safe and sound! And he acted like I murdered it!” Wu Xie laughs at the face Ba Ye makes, or maybe his helpless gesturing. “He always said you kidnapped that dog just to get back at him.” Zhang Rishan isn’t sure if he imagines how the conversation tiptoes on the line of ‘friendly conversation’ and ‘fishing for information’. But he hadn’t been present for the whole Dog-stealing-thing, so he keeps listening, ignoring Pangzi who starts to tease Huo Daofu about his obvious love for science fiction and then continues to question him about his favorites.

“Aiyah! That’s just what I told Fo Ye, that Wu Laogou would never give me his dog if I asked him because he would think I wanted to get back at him. But I really wasn’t! We needed his gallstones to cure Mo Ce so Fo Ye said I had to steal it if I wouldn’t ask for it. So I stole it, but as I said, I brought it back better than new, freshly cured. And he even made me apologize to the dog!” That is actually something he hadn’t known, but Wu Xie laughing and saying “Of course he would!” is enough to finally fully convince him that all of this is real. It puts his mind at ease and shifts his focus to other things he still has questions about.

They should definitely find out more about this god and the people that imprisoned it. He takes out his phone to take some photos of the mural and finds it mostly covered in white, but just like before it just crumbles away in little flakes. Surprisingly his phone still works and there is no trace of dampness to it. For a moment he stares at the screen and then at his arm, where Ba Ye's hands had grabbed him. The dried white stuff has crumbled away where the cloth had been moved or touched, leaving no trace, no lingering wetness. Deliberately taking note of every part of his skin he realizes that actually nothing feels wet or damp, even though he practically swam in that liquid. He can only recall the feeling of the liquid clinging to him and dragging him down like water-soaked and heavy clothing would do, but it seems highly unlikely that he was unconscious long enough for his clothes to completely dry. It's like whatever was in the pool only wrapped itself around him, like a cocoon, but didn't soak through anything.

Luo Que is still beside him, silently watching him. His arms are covered in white flakes, too, so he must have helped Pangzi get him out of the pool. “Do you remember what the liquid felt like?” Luo Que looks confused for a moment, furrowing his brows until his eyes drift down to his own arms and he seems to get what Zhang Rishan is asking. “Not really like liquid, it felt cool but not wet at all”, he answers, rubbing at one of the larger stains that crumbles away under his fingertips. This only confirms his suspicions, he wants this stuff analyzed. Luo Que finds a zip-lock-bag somewhere in his backpack and together they manage to get at least some of the white flakes and dust into the bag, although it seems to disintegrate once it gets shaken off whatever surface it had clung to.

Wondering if this is even really a tomb he takes pictures of the whole mural. It seems more like a temple - no, they didn’t worship the god here, so more of a prison for a god if there is a word for such a thing. He turns only to find Ba Ye watching him, staring at his phone. Of course, the kinds of cameras Ba Ye knows were big and bulky so he hands it to Ba Ye. “It’s a camera and a phone”, he explains, which only makes Ba Ye stare harder, turning the device in his hands. “It’s so small!” His wonder makes Zhang Rishan smile and he promises to show Ba Ye what it can do later.

Which seems almost like a cue for them to decide to carefully explore the rest of the tomb for more information and to find out if it really is a tomb. They take the dagger, the only remarkable thing on the altar and maybe something that can help them find out more about the people that used it. Maybe at least how old this cave is. Zhang Rishan is still unsure if it’s a tomb or a prison, even after they find two more caves with clay jugs filled with human ashes. Cremation is not exactly a common burial tradition for this region and there are no grave goods at all. Not one single treasure, to Pangzi’s great disappointment, no more murals, no scripture, nothing. It’s mostly a disappointment in terms of exploration, but maybe they can find out some more.

Since it already got dark when they reached the tomb they decide to spend the night in the cave with the pool, which is the only one with enough room for all of them (and they don’t really want to sleep next to rows of human ashes). It’s still quite dark, even with Pangzi’s heater instead of a fire but more comfortable than outside where Liu Sang had heard rain and thunder. None of them goes to check, there is no need to hurry back, they can spend one night in the cave and hopefully the rain will have stopped the next day.

Reception in the cave is strong enough to mail the pictures to some contacts and ask them to look into it. Ba Ye watches him curiously while he types in the message and Zhang Rishan shows him all the other functions - or at least everything he frequently uses his phone for, which makes Pangzi laugh. “Ahh, President Zhang,” he scolds, using the title he had never used before. “You are all about work! Show the poor man some good things! Here, look at this game,” and he tucks on Ba Ye’s shoulder to get him to lean over his own phone.

“Pangzi, the ‘poor man’ doesn’t have a phone to send you money for your stupid game”, Wu Xie leans on Pangzi’s other shoulder, grinning and obviously finished with his phone call. “Ah, Tianzhen, pay attention. I’m already done with that one, this is a new one. Here, look!” Judging by the way all three of them look at the phone it must be something cute and Zhang Rishan finds himself smiling again, glad and thankful that they include Ba Ye so effortlessly. He will need people who can care for him and help him if he decides he won’t forgive Zhang Rishan after they get a chance to talk about everything that has happened since Ba Ye vanished.

This thought wipes the small smile off his face and he distracts himself by texting Liang Wan, asking her when she will be back from her trip because he wants her to check Ba Ye, blood tests and all. He will do everything he can to make sure Ba Ye is okay (or as okay as he can be) and has everything he needs for a life in the 21. century. Which is another reason why he offers Ba Ye his sleeping bag, who simply refuses, adamant that they can share. They end up with Zhang Rishan sitting on one half, leaning his back against the wall and Ba Ye using his leg as a pillow, curled up next to him on the other half. It’s familiar, but he represses the memories, busying himself with shrugging out of his coat without waking Ba Ye to drape it over him because he can feel him shiver against his leg. It seems to be getting colder but he doesn’t mind. Ba Ye doesn’t wake, but when he looks back up Wu Xie smiles at him from where Pangzi is halfway wrapped around him, head on Zhang Qilings lap.

When they pack up the next morning it’s still raining and it’s really noticeably colder than before. Zhang Rishan lets Ba Ye keep his coat, he will need some protection against the rain in his thin changshan, even if the thick forest they had hiked through should offer some protection against the rain. But when they leave the cave there is no more forest, only muddy ground where lush undergrowth had been and some tree stumps that look long dead.

“Well, the forest was unusual”, Liu Sang says but still seems just as perturbed as everyone else. For a moment they just stand there and look around them. “I guess they really needed that god to grow something around here”, Pangzi jokes, but he sounds uneasy about it. And how could they not be, with miles of dead land around them where hours before there had been fruit trees and berry bushes in abundance. Zhang Rishan represses a shiver of uneasiness and just wants to leave this place as soon as possible. He is not the only one. Instinctively they walk faster on their way back, or as fast as they can. The rain had made the ground slippery with mud and dead plants. None of them feels comfortable about stopping for the night but it’s safer than trying to navigate through the dark. Thankfully the rain stopped some time before that and they manage get a fire going, but still all of them are quiet and thoughtful, no trace of the easy banter of the day before.

They are packed and ready to go with the first light of the next day. Without the rain the ground dries up fast and the sun is too bright and too warm, which is actually typical for this region. At one point they cross a very visible line where the dead zone ends and there are plants and trees again, but they don’t stop to inspect it further, too glad to be out.

It’s mid afternoon when they reach the end of the road where they had left their cars and from there it’s only roughly another two hours to drive to the small village where they had spent the night before setting out on this endeavour. The villagers don’t seem to know that a whole forest has vanished and happily accommodate them again in the small inn. They had seemed to avoid the general area of said forest and hadn’t wanted to talk about it before, just whispering about local legends of a ‘man-eating wood’. Luckily the owner of the small inn doesn’t seem to remember their exact number or he simply doesn’t care that they left the allegedly cursed forest with an additional person. He gives them the same rooms (which are actually the only rooms available) and goes off to prepare dinner.

They disperse to their rooms to clean up and rest for a moment until dinner is ready. Wu Xie had made sure that Zhang Rishan shares his room with Ba Ye so they can talk, but both of them seem a bit reluctant to start. They wash in a somewhat uncomfortable silence until Zhang Rishan takes off the bandages, inspecting the two cuts on his arms and is surprised at the 2 neat rows of staples. He hadn’t realized they were that long and deep that they required stapling and is actually impressed at Huo Daofu’s level of preparation for such a small trip. He obviously knows what he is doing, the cuts are clean and already healing nicely. “Let me help you”, Ba Ye takes the fresh bandages out of his hand, and starts slowly wrapping them around Zhang Rishan’s arms.

“I understand there are a lot of things that have happened since I disappeared, so just tell me”, Ba Ye’s voice is quiet and he keeps his eyes on his hands. And, taking a deep breath to brace himself, Zhang Rishan tells him. About the second attack on Changsha, the third, and finally the fourth one when they lost and everything they had tried to protect had been destroyed. He doesn’t go into detail about all the lives that were lost in the war, while Ba Ye’s fingers work slower and slower until they stop, hovering over Fo Ye’s bracelet. Zhang Rishan pulls his arms away to tuck down his sleeves, hiding the bandages and the bracelet alike, while he only briefly mentions the destruction and despair. Ba Ye had seen enough of that after the first attack on Changsha. He tells him about the years after the war, how they slowly rebuild and how Fo Ye kept looking for Ba Ye. There are not only sad things to say - Fo Ye had been happy in his marriage with Xinyue, Er Ye had been pleased with his new apprentice, the Huo-Clan had thrived, just like the Xie-Clan - although those outweigh the good things, because one by one he recounts the deaths of everyone Ba Ye knows.

“I’m sorry”, he finishes and hates that the words don’t do justice to the depth of his feelings. “You lost them too”, Ba Ye says, his voice surprisingly steady and almost gentle, and Zhang Rishan stares at him, at a loss. Yes, he did. But little by little, parts of his world crumbling away, piece by piece, until only duty remained. He’d had time to adjust to the holes, find ways around them, new paths that had grown old and used and then been torn away, too. What he had lost in the course of 80 years Ba Ye had lost in one day, one moment, one blink of an eye.

“Yes”, he says and doesn’t know how to put into words that their pain shouldn’t be compared, because there are not enough words to even begin to describe this. Pain is something he has been trained to file away into different threat levels, into different boxes. He is not allowed to have one named ‘unbearable’, but he doesn’t know how else to label the pain of that one moment when the worst thing has happened and it feels like the world just stops, just shatters and falls to pieces, never to be whole again. But everything stays the same. It’s just his world that shattered, his heart that has been torn apart never to be whole again. He is the one who changed, not the world. And he doesn’t even fathom himself how he had to change to survive that, who he had to become. Because he had become a person that would cause that kind of pain to someone else like this. He had killed countless people in his lifetime, on purpose as a Zhang, as a soldier, in the war or by mistake, by failure, by not being able to save them but he had never thought himself capable of such cruelty.

Whatever Ba Ye reads in his face (or maybe in his heart, because Ba Ye had always been good at reading hearts), it makes him knit his brows. Not in anguish or sorrow but something more akin to chagrin and he grabs the sides of Zhang Rishan’s sweater to roughly tug him forward into a bone crushing hug. And Zhang Rishan allows himself to be moved, just like he had always allowed himself to be moved whenever Ba Ye was tugging on him.

Ba Ye presses his face into the crook of his neck, arms wrapping tightly around his sides, fingers digging into his shoulder blades and Zhang Rishan can feel the shaky inhale against the bare skin of his neck. Carefully he wraps his arms around Ba Ye’s shoulders and holds him up when he feels the other man lean most of his weight on him. He doesn’t say anything, when he feels the wetness of quiet tears against his shoulder, just closes his eyes, offering whatever comfort he can offer like this.

#fuba #zhang rishan #ba ye #qi tiezui #dmbj fic #mystic nine

[animeyanderelover]

I've looked through your "sharing a darling" post and I've been inspired. I'd love to see Tsunade with a darling, who's Orochimaru's little sister. I imagine she and Tsuna probably were friends before she deserted the village with Orochi. And when she's nowhere near as heartless as Orochi, she's a morally-gray type of person. [With romantic yandere!Tsunade + platonic!yandere Orochimaru]

I’m glad you got inspired by my post☺️.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, violence

Darling is Orochimaru’s little sister

🐍🐌We’ve often talked about this, but Orochimaru has a weird way of showing his care, especially if it comes to persons he’s obsessed with. If you would be a test object he would most likely show genuine interest in you because you’re very useful. But how does this work when you’re his sister? It’s suspected that a part of why Orochimaru became the way he is like he is because he wanted to leave the painful memories of the past behind, including the death of his parents. So you were the only family he had left.

🐍🐌His way of caring showed himself from a very young age on with wanting you to get stronger. Orochimaru has a dislike for the fragility of life and it’s most likely that you and him shared more or less the same interest in kinjutsu. I can’t say that you had the same obsession as him with it, but you just tagged along with him.

🐍🐌Since Tsunade and Orochimaru were on the same team it was understandable that you were friends with them. Jiraiya was probably the guy who often asked you out on dates and made some less appropriate comments about you, earning a hit on the head from Tsunade and a unnerving look from Orochimaru. Tsunade was most likely friends with you because you were the only other girl from the three.

🐍🐌At the beginning it was just a friendship, a strong one. Tsunade was often a bit worried about you, knowing how twisted Orochimaru could be. You never minded, being used to all of this since you had grown up with him together.

🐍🐌Tsunade started becoming a tad more clingy and overprotective after Nawaki had died. It was somewhat of the beginning of her Yandere tendencies and it stayed that way even after she had got to know Dan. You often visited with her together Nawaki’s grave and showed him respect for his actions. But you were glad that Tsunade had found someone else who made her happy since you had suffered with her after the death of her brother. Because despite being slightly influenced from Orochimaru’s twisted personality you had always been the one who had cared more and showed it more.

🐍🐌Somehow I think after Dan died as well and you were again there to comfort Tsunade you somehow started to see things a bit more from Orochimaru’s side, understanding why he loathed the fragility of life. Because humans were so delicate that you could lose them at any moment. I would even go as far that Tsunade’s devastation over Nawaki and Dan left a huge impact on you and led you to becoming who you were.

🐍🐌Tsunade was at first most likely only a platonic Yandere for you, still seeing you as her best friend. She became incredibly clingy and overprotective and also started greatly disliking your brother. Why? Because Orochimaru gave off the feeling that you didn’t mean anything to him and he wouldn’t even be sad if you would die. He hadn’t looked affected when Nawaki had died and he hadn’t looked really affected when Dan had died. So it was no wonder that Tsunade was terrified of losing you as well and needing to see how not even you as Orochimaru’s sister would lead him to show any sorrow.

🐍🐌It was at the beginning just the genuine desire to keep you safe and alive. But with time it turned into something more intense for Tsunade. The knowledge that she could lose the person who had been always there for you made her go almost crazy. She might not even have realized when exactly it had happened. But one day you just gave her a warm smile...And Tsunade felt her heart speeding up in her chest rapidly and butterflies erupting from the pit of her stomach.

🐍🐌Orochimaru watched all of this with narrowed eyes, the way how Tsunade started clinging onto you tightly and the way she looked at you. It didn’t matter to him that Tsunade deserved happiness after everything that had happened to her. He didn’t want you to become weak by becoming too sentimental which you obviously were. It wasn’t like you had already changed a lot because of him, your view of the world having become slightly distorted because of his influence and the still fresh memory of Tsunade mourning over her brother and her lover. And I bet Orochimaru used that to control you a bit more.

🐍🐌Tsunade on the other hand worried because she noticed clearly how much you had changed in those last years and she knew too well who the culprit was. So she tried to keep you away from Orochimaru by often going out with you and asking you to spend time with him. And this didn’t suit with Orochimaru who would have preferred to continue training and experimenting with you.

🐍🐌It was most likely out of loyalty and own belief that you decided to follow Orochimaru into exile, some of his beliefs having influenced you as well. And Tsunade was once again completely devastated for losing another precious person to her, asking herself what she had done so terribly wrong in life to lose everyone she seemed to love.

🐍🐌Being Orochimaru’s sister and most likely on the same level of strength as him made you very respected and worshipped by his underlings like Kabuto and Kimimaro. And despite searching with him for a way to gain complete immortality You never agreed with his opinions all the time, disliking the way he treated others. You were somewhat of a mother figure for many people under him and were even known to forgive people different than Orochimaru. And Orochimaru didn’t really like this, fearing that your softness would be one day your death sentence. Orochimaru isn’t the type to start a fight over this, at least not in the classic sense. But he would cruelly tease your weak spots to get a reaction out of you and to try to reason with you that being so soft wouldn’t bring you anywhere.

🐍🐌I guess that Tsunade’s heart broke even more after hearing what you were doing, experimenting on people to gain immortality. She blamed herself for this, feeling like she should have ripped you away from your brother’s tight grip sooner since he had been the one who had corrupted you like this.

🐍🐌Tsunade met you most likely again whilst Naruto and Jiraiya were searching for her to convince her to become the fifth Hokage. She was already pissed enough at Orochimaru, never having forgiven him for ruining you like this. But she was also scared when seeing you again, freezing at first. She just really hoped that there was still some part of the old you left and not having become as cruel and heartless as Orochimaru had. You were also shocked to see her again, feeling a bit conflicted about how to face her after all those years again.

🐍🐌During the fight of the three you didn’t really participate, watching more from a distance. Not because you were lazy, but because you and Orochimaru knew that you might switch sides during the battle. Because you still cared. Tsunade was still your friend. So when Orochimaru wanted to kill Naruto and Tsunade kept sacrificing herself you would have lied if you would have said that you didn’t care. Instead you might have even tried to stop Orochimaru from completely killing her, that was at least until she released her jutsu and showed what she was capable off.

🐍🐌Different from Orochimaru you also never disliked Naruto and saw him as a poor excuse. You saw potential and passion in him, reminding you of Nawaki. That’s why you wanted to keep him alive. Because he had helped Tsunade out of her misery. And you were proud of her when she officially became Hokage, sending a anonymous gift and a small letter in which you congratulated her and told her how happy you were for her. And Tsunade knew too well who had sent her this.

🐍🐌I feel like after Sasuke joined Orochimaru you might have even gone as far as sometimes giving the village hints about his development without anyone finding out. And whenever such small notes received in the village, dropping hints about current whereabouts or informations about possible future plans from Orochimaru Tsunade always felt hopeful and encouraged that the old You was still there, that you weren’t completely possessed by evil like your older brother was.

🐍🐌I feel like you traveled back to the village after Sasuke killed Orichimaru. You had no reason to stay after all. And for someone who was known as an S-rated criminal you came over pretty calm when suddenly appearing in front of the gates of your old village. And best belief that when Tsunade Heard- that you were back, she completely lost it and instantly stormed towards you, not knowing whether to yell at you for doing such terrible things to her and other people or cry and suffocate you in a hug out of relief. In the end it became a mix made out of both.

🐍🐌You were taken under custody back into the village, your reputation being a bit saved because of all the small hints you had given them through the years. That and the fact that you answered all questions honestly have some ninjas troubles to judge you rightfully, not knowing whether to think of you as a good or bad person. On the one hand you had experimented on others, you had used the same jutsu as Orochimaru to reach immortality and many other things. But on the other hand there were countless tellings and rumors from many places and people that you had freed them out of Orochimaru’s grip or had even helped villages in need on your journeys. That made it somewhat troublesome whether to decide if you belonged in prison or not.

🐍🐌In the end it was decided to not send you into prison, mainly because Tsunade had insisted on it, but also because many had agreed that you had done many good things after all and had come back on your own free will, not to mention that you had told them everything they had wanted and needed answers for for so long. But you were kept under very tight custody, a few Anbu members always watching you.

🐍🐌Shizune knew from Tsunade’s love for you, having witnessed many times how Tsunade had started becoming very talkative about you after a few or many bottles of sake and knew that Tsunade had still feelings for you. And she advices to not risk anything with you, they still didn’t know whether you were on their side or not. Tsunade didn’t want to hear this, but not because she believed that Shizune was wrong, but because she knew that Shizune might be right.

🐍🐌She often came visiting you, wanting to at least talk to you and know why you had done this. Why you had left her. Why you had decided to tag along with Orochimaru. Why you had done all those terrible things and still so much good stuff at the same time. What were your motives?

🐍🐌I feel like Tsunade would be able to start a normal relationship with you after the war and after Orochimaru was reincarnated. Because the main problem before had been that people had, when looking at you, only been able to see Orochimaru. A cruel and sadistic criminal. But for whatever reason Orochimaru had been forgiven after the shinobi war and Tsunade also retired more or less since Kakashi became the sixth Hokage shortly after the war ended. There will be some tension between her and Orochimaru after that, especially since Tsunade still blames Orochimaru for corrupting you like this. Orochimaru wouldn’t be too happy either, but surprisingly he’s more okay than Tsunade with this since he doesn’t hold that much of a personal grudge against her like she does. He did become better after the war and was more accepting with it. As long as you don’t become a weakling that is, power is still a thing and will always be a thing for him.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere orochimaru #yandere tsunade #yandere tsunade senju #platonic yandere

[agent-cupcake]

Can we have an updated take on your dark!claude headcanons. They don’t have to be extensive, just curious to see how your thoughts on him have evolved since the first set you wrote 💜

When I first wrote that I think I saw Claude as being more pragmatic than I do now. Actually, in general, I just had a very different take on him than I do now. Don’t get me wrong, Claude obviously isn’t acting out on ridiculous impulses solely based on emotional reactions and doing crazy things in the name of love solely for the sake of “love”, but I didn’t really take into consideration that he’s a deeply lonely and instinctually empathetic person who cares for the people around him to a potentially destructive degree. So it wouldn’t be as important about what you were to him as a king as much as it would who you were, and being “important” in a utilitarian sense wouldn’t matter at all if he had any reason to be worried that you were being messed with (he has plenty of experience with how catastrophically terrible that sort of thing can be) or that your position in his life was threatened in any way. If the stage was set correctly for him to already have a predisposition towards an unhealthily dependent or obsessive/possessive relationship with you, I think that those things would be the trigger for making him go all the way into doing messed up things for your sake. When rereading my past headcanons, that was the biggest thing I disagreed with. 

Claude’s process of reassuring himself that what he’s doing is fine through reason and half-truths and convincing you with a silver tongue and continuously pushing limits until you’re allowing even the most absurd of behavior all under the guise of a normal and happy and loving guy is still pretty much how I think Claude would deal with this. His preoccupation with you being somebody who sees the “real him” would also be important, as feeling seen and loved for who he is would be Claude’s dream and that would be a big component of the preexisting unhealthy dynamic. 

I didn’t note this before, but Claude would be exhausting. His main motivation for isolating, stalking, and “protecting” you being based primarily on emotion would mean that your emotional responses, the way you interacted with him, and the level of support he’d require would be far more intense than in a reasonable relationship without the same level of equal emotional repayment as he would be so heavily entrenched in his own lies and justifications for the abusive behaviors that he wouldn’t be able to drop the act for too long. As is so often the ironically tragic case of these dark personalities, his desperate need to cling to you in this way would make the relationship even more isolating in many ways. Worse, I’m sure he’d know this and have found a way to mentally loop his way around it. His awareness of the situation would be the part that really makes it exhausting, Claude wouldn’t be fooled by lipservice or be totally okay if you just weren't feeling it. Sure, if you were having an off day emotionally and needed his support, he’d give it. He’d listen to your problems and comfort you and do whatever to fix them because his love would be genuine, right? Don’t ever get that twisted. But if Claude knew your distance was because you were punishing him (and by punishing, I mean acting out against his treatment of you) in any way, he’d know. If you were trying to avoid your role in the relationship by faking it, he wouldn’t let it slide. Either by calling you on it bluntly or holding onto it until he could use it against you, and maybe even with punishment. Not anything fun like spanking, but messed up mental games of ~teasingly~ withholding affection or convincing you to let down your guard enough for him to figure out why you’re acting the way you are and then use that to convince you of how wrong you were, how it only proves that you need him, that you need to work together to be happy and have this relationship work, that he could get a sycophantic idiot anywhere and that he only wants you. 

The exhaustion would also come to the outward implications of his feelings. Full-on yandere-style killing is not his style at all, but if you were to get a little too cozy with people he didn’t approve of, there’s a chance they’d find themselves suddenly brought up on charges of an old crime or “needed to serve somewhere else” or things of that nature. Not illegal and not lies, but awfully convenient interpretations of the law and his position. Yeah, you can go out and do things that you want to do, but he’s going to have you guarded and, sorry, that’s not negotiable. He’d trust you, truly, but Claude would not ever trust the world. Not with you. If there was anything you wanted to do, why wouldn’t it be okay for him to tag along? Don’t you want to spend some quality time together? It sounds clingy, but he’d do it all in such a theatrically casual way that it could be pretty convincing and misleading.

And I really think these sorts of things, being driven to taking such extreme action in both your emotional interactions and in your safety, would make him mad. Claude would be angry that you’re doing things that make him feel like he needs to respond, yeah, but also be furious with himself for reacting in such a way and hurting you because he’d know that what he was doing wasn't okay. But Claude doesn’t express anger. And especially not to you, the person he loves the most in the world. His childhood taught him that anger was a tool, and so he uses it against you in other ways, which is why he feels the need to engage in the complicated emotional fuckery and getting rid of people he’s jealous of and keeping you safe to a ridiculous degree.

#fe3h #claude von riegan #yandere #headcanons #yandere headcanons #fe claude #fire emblem three houses #i am half asleep but this felt important and cannot wait until tomorrow #Anonymous

[seijohsfairy]

𝙸𝙼𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙰𝙻

In where your boyfriend likes watching you get fucked, and you are a bit too late to tell him that maybe it’s a bad idea. 

.word count. 2.8k .pairing. miya atsumu x fem!reader x sakusa kiyoomi .genre. smut (m), slightly angsty

tw cuckolding, tbh incel!omi, spit play, voyeurism, masturbation, praise vs. degradation, atsumu’s fingers (yes this deserves a warning, i’m obsessed), unprotected sex, possibly cheating-ish?

.author’s note. “I absolutely don’t thirst for Atsumu or Kiyoomi, don’t know what it is but I just don’t,” I say all bright eyed, you know, like a liar. Anyway, I don’t know how this happened either but I hope you enjoy it!

+

The first time was a once-off, you’d thought. You had been clingy all day, and your boyfriend had been so tired from practice. So he asked someone to help out for you, and that’d been that. No big deal. You’d been a bit surprised that of all people, he’d asked Miya Atsumu to do the job, but considering the setter’s long fingers had soon been stuffed deep into you it didn’t occupy your thoughts much. You’d all be going your separate ways anyways, you and your boyfriend back to your apartment, and Atsumu would stay in his own little world far enough away.

So when not three days later Atsumu was seated on your couch with a brilliant smile on his face, right opposite your significant other, it’d made you a bit cautious. From as soon as he’d gotten comfortable around you, Kiyoomi had liked prodding at your boundaries. Reaching at but never past ‘em. It made intimacy fun, made your heart beat and so you’d always been pretty open with his suggestions. But this had been difficult to grasp. “I want to try something new. I think you should let him fuck you,” he’d said, and you’d been able to close your gaping mouth just long enough to catch the intrigue in Atsumu’s eyes.

“W-What? But what about you, Omi?”

“I want to watch. If you’re comfortable with that. I think you’ll like it.”

Looking back, you had liked it. It made you feel desired, hot and flushed and it didn’t hurt that compared to your boyfriend, the blond loved showering you in endless praise. Telling you how pretty you were, how sexy your sounds and how great your touch. You had liked it once and twice, and with that, had learned to like his attention too. Slight touches brushing past your hand in public just made you feel like you had a secret of you three. But maybe you should’ve talked about it with Kiyoomi more than you did. Atsumu fucked you in front of your boyfriend more than he did himself after a while, and you started missing his touch. Any time you’d initiate something, he’d tell you to shower, and by the time you came out of the hot water Atsumu would be at the door to help you out.

“Yer a bit touch starved, aren’t cha? Pretty girl,” he’d whisper, pressing kisses to your crown when drawing you close. “I’ll make ya feel good, baby.” The more Atsumu came over, the less touchy Kiyoomi grew. But in daily life, he was the same man you’d fallen in love with, which made it so much harder to complain about the strange dynamic. He wasn’t touching you, but he seemed happy to stay on the sidelines and watch. And you were getting all the sex you could ever need, even if it wasn’t with your boyfriend. Maybe you should’ve talked about it more, but you’d been thrown into the dark so suddenly that it felt easy to cling to the strong arms wrapped around you every other day.

“Keep yer eyes right here, baby girl,” the lithe voice calls, fingers under your chin and aiming your face up. Atsumu hovers over you, pressing you back into the plush of the bed with his weight supported on his forearms. He presses a few kisses to your lips, giggling when you whine at his slow movements, before he trails his fingers down your naked chest and over your nipples. He’d been at this for quite a while, and you are definitely growing more impatient by the second. When you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck with another whimper, he tutts his lips. “Shh, pretty thing. Play nice.” He flicks his finger against your pointed bud as a punishment, before continuing his slow, meticulous movements a bit longer.

But you can tell even he’s getting testy. His fingers keep going back and forth between messing with your lips, your tits and your drenched panties, as if he can’t decide which of his toys to play with first. He smacks his lips before dropping his mouth to the swell of your breasts, starting to mark you up in the places the bruises of previous nights aren’t scattered. The warmth of his mouth leaving more obnoxious blots of color. Atsumu lifts his face from your skin for long enough to settle back between your legs, rutting his hardness against you with slow drags of his hips. “Stick yer tongue out for me,” he breathes, and as soon as you do he pinches it between his fingers to tug. “I’ll get ya nice and messy for me, don’tcha worry. Would’ya like that?” With your tongue still held out of your mouth, he peers down at you with those pretty browns for an answer.

Saliva builds up in your mouth as you breathe out, humming in reply. Always concerned about your pleasure first, he rolls his hips into yours harder. “Good.” He leans down to press a kiss on your tip of your tongue, and as messy and overly intimate as it is, you’ve long grown appreciative of all of it. Even if it makes you feel dirty, you savour the feeling. You’re more than happy to take it all if that means you’re being touched. You let your eyes drop closed when he lets go of your tongue, leaving it out still. Spit’s collecting in your mouth and going down your face, and the blond grunts like it’s the best sight he’s had in a while. “Keep it out, good girl.” He leans down to you again to lick up the length of your tongue, before he sucks on the wet muscle, moaning.

While he traces your tongue with his, his hands grab at your ass to drag you into him more, and you grind back on his slow motions to the best of your ability. His hard cock pushing exactly where you need it to, though you’d love it even more if he just gave up and fucked you already. Alas. When he pulls back to let you breathe, you frown at him and try to speak without disobeying his order. You compromise by pulling your tongue back but keeping your mouth mostly open. “You’re so nasty, ‘Tsumu,” you manage to mumble, swallowing some of your spit before you make more of a mess of yourself.

Atsumu just laughs, a soft, breathy one, burying his face into your neck. “Yer one to talk. Droolin’ all over yer own face.” He presses wet kisses to the expanse of your neck in between the words, leaning up to wipe some of the spit on your chin away with a thumb. “But ya look so pretty like that, ya know I can’t help myself.” He slowly pushes your tongue back into your mouth with one finger. Then he slides his hand back down your body to rub over your covered slit and to give a mind-numbing pressure on your clit. You groan at the feeling, both at his calloused fingers being used so well and at the way your wet panties feel on your skin. He’s quick to silence your noises with a proper kiss, lazy pulls of his tongue around yours and his lips melting to you in a perfect rhythm to drive you crazy. It still surprises you, how good his is with that loud mouth of his.

A soft click sounds through the room. You don’t have to look to know that your boyfriend is freshly showered, and will take his seat in the chair positioned right next to the window soon. Atsumu doesn’t allow you to tense up though, pulling back from your body to start shimmying your panties down your thighs. “Finally. Poor thing’s been wet for fifteen minutes.” You would’ve been able to start much sooner if he hadn’t insisted on a rule that you can only have sex from the moment the spiker is in the room, and not a second earlier. Hell, you would’ve been able to start much sooner if he didn’t want to watch you get fucked more than he wants to do it himself.

Kiyoomi gives only a soft sigh in response as he plops down in the chair, springs creaking. You open your eyes and are met with Atsumu’s adoring gaze, one which he keeps as he taps the sides of your hips. “Lift ‘em, please.” He takes off your panties and tosses them at the foot of your bed, before he finally uses those pretty hands on your dripping slit, working you perfectly. He swirls around your clit for a moment, dragging two digits up and down to slick them up and you’re already so worked up from all the teasing that this makes you shudder. He always is a dream when he gets to put his hands on you. His tongue peeks out between his lips when he glances between your bodies, focussing on every twitch and tug. He’s so pretty.

You take a moment to glance away though, meeting Kiyoomi’s calculated expression. His dark hair still damp, shirtless and slouched into the red chair, he regards you. His stare is blank. You can’t remember the last time he looked at you with genuine lust, but then again, you’re not sure he ever actually did. Even so it’s been months, you can barely remember what his touch feels like. The tenseness of dredging through the thick tar of your thoughts must follow through into your body, because Atsumu looks back up at you with a slight frown on his handsome face. “You okay?” You nod right when he slips in a finger and kisses you on the temple. “Yer so tense, baby girl.” The faint kisses down your neck and collarbones feel like heaven.

He rubs his thumb over your sensitive clit as he sucks and bites at both nipples. His long fingers curl inside you just right as soon as he adds a second and a third one, stretching you out. His fingers are so thick and strong, able to hit the right spot inside you every pump. And the added feeling of his breath on your wet chest, the weight of his body on you. You whine out his name, tangling your fingers in his hair as your back curls off the mattress. Atsumu grins, even with shut eyes you can hear it in his voice and you call for him again, the coil in your belly already winding tight. “Feels good?” he asks, giggling when you nod your head up and down without thinking. Yes, yes, he feels so good. He always does.

Your legs are spread wide apart, thighs trembling the longer his brutal pace continues on your body. “Ah— ‘Tsumu, I’m close.” Beads of sweat pool under your breasts, and you open your eyes long enough to catch the look on his face. There’s nothing there but devotion to bringing you pleasure. You couldn’t believe it when he fingered you the first time, and it’s still hard to believe now. Your body shudders at the sight. His thumb gives a particularly hard few circles on your clit, making your head spin. And his other hand is pinching at your tits, using his nail to flick over the peaked knob. It’s rough, but so good. “Uh, oh- p-please Atsumu,” you ramble, “‘Tsumu, wan’ cum. Wanna cum, please. Please.”

The squelching of your sloppy pussy fills the room, as Atsumu groans. “Yeah? Yer gonna cum all over my hand, huh?” The deep tremble of his voice feels deafening, you’re so close it’s almost painful. You pull him closer, wanting to feel him, his warmth, the smoothness of his skin, anything at all—

“Let her cum on your cock,” Kiyoomi orders, drawing your attention over. He has his hand wrapped around his cock, lubed up with lotion and jerking his wrist to slide over the pretty, pink head. The time you were allowed to do it for him seems distant. At the soft moan he lets out you fight the urge to call out his name, because that too isn’t allowed anymore. Something about breaking the immersion. You can’t help but think anyone would be hurt that the sound of your voice bothers him when he’s jacking off. Maybe you just sound gross— no, Atsumu loves hearing you. He could get off on your noises alone. And turning back to find reassurance in the man nestled tight between your legs becomes easier each time it happens.

You hold the immensely frustrated pleads that work up your throat to bite your bottom lip, instead just going along with it. There was a time where you’d have pleaded to let you cum, a time where he’d have his own fingers on and in you, where your begging actually meant something. But you know by now that the more you talk back, the less Kiyoomi allows you to receive. The blond seems almost as angry at the denial of your orgasm as you are, because the slight twitch of his brow stays. But as he stills his fingers, he curls them obscenely once more and presses his lips to yours. “Sorry princess, ya heard the man.” He then pulls the digits out of you to slip them into his own mouth, cleaning your juices from them with a lewd ‘pop’. He shoves his boxers down his thick thighs to expose himself, giving himself a quick few pumps.

“Bend back yer legs for me, pretty girl. I’ll make it up to ya.” He helps you lift your knees to your chest and runs the flushed, leaking head of his cock up your slit until he’s as wet as you are. Then he presses another kiss to your parted lips, and smiles into it. He pulls back with a low whisper, slowly starting to push in as he pushes out the words. “I love stuffing this pretty cunt. It’s mine.” The stretch feels so good, so so good and he’s so warm, you mewl as he sinks into you. And as you reach one hand back up to his shoulders to steady yourself on his big cock, the other searches out his touch. His long fingers tangle easily with yours, slotting perfectly together.

“Ahgh,” you moan at his first thrust, “so full. S’big, ‘Tsumu.” He leaves kisses all over your face as you get used to the overwhelming feeling of his cock, and you glance over for just a moment to the chair. Kiyoomi is dabbing at himself with tissues. You didn’t even notice he already came. You want to feel bad, you should have noticed, you should have— But then Atsumu switches out the slow draw of his hips for a faster rhythm and you’re gone from the world. You babble out his name and cling to him as the orgasm that was so cruelly denied earlier builds back to a peak, the heat in the pit of your stomach overflowing. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, Atsumu!” Your legs tremble, your walls squeezing around him so hard he can barely pull himself out enough to thrust. Black and white marks the edges of your vision.

You’re still far off from the world when you feel the setter’s lips on yours, but the vague words from your side filter in not too much later. Your boyfriend clicking his tongue. “You’re such a filthy slut, cumming all over someone who’s not even your boyfriend. You just need any dick to get off, tch.” You come down after that, feeling too hot but slightly cold as well. Atsumu pulls his hips back far enough to allow you a moment more to get back to yourself, before he touches your chin to draw your face back to his.

“Can ya do another, baby? I wanna give ya another.” It’s sweet. He’s sweet. You nod. So ever so slowly he starts back up, giving your sensitive body extra attention. You bury your face into his neck as he hovers himself back over you, his chest heaving up and down from the effort. “Yer so pretty. So good, so tight for me. Always so fucking tight for me.” You plant kisses there until Atsumu starts groaning out his words, your name over and over and you forget about the stinging gaze on the both of you. Maybe you should have talked about this with Kiyoomi more. No, you definitely should have. Then you wouldn’t be falling so hard for the guy your boyfriend brings in to fuck you when he can’t be bothered.

///

in this house we love and adore the miya twins equally and i don’t take criticism. he’s a fucking treasure, i will bop you on the head if you say anything different. anyway, this was my first time writing these boyos so i hope they’re not too ooc! thank you so much for reading, you’re all beautiful humans. (๑◕ㅂ▰)

[whumpingcrow]

Pt. 6 "Bang Bang!"

CW: drug/alcohol description (explicit), mention of noncon/dubcon, vomit mention, injury description (past and new), emotional manipulation/gaslighting, creepy/intimate whumper, tourettes/tics, August in general, food mention, stalking mention, bondage, drowning mention, gun mention, gunshot wound, blood mention, character death (explicit) (Let me know if i missed anything!)

Elias woke up with a pounding headache and a nausea that he had never felt before. He couldn't even open his eyes, all he could do was curl in on himself with a groan. At some point he had been set on the bed, the blanket pulled over him. As he tried to recall how he got there, he came up blank. The last thing he remembered was sitting next to August, asking him for another drink. After that, it was all blank. As he pulled the blankets tighter around him, a jolt of pain ripped through his body, and he let out a whine. Everything hurt, every inch of his body felt mangled or broken or bruised. He wanted nothing more than to just pass out so he didn't have to feel it anymore, but he felt like he was spinning just laying there and it made him feel sick to his stomach in a way that wouldn't allow rest.

He heard the door open, carrying along the sound of footsteps and the smell of bacon cooking. He gagged at the smell, squeezing his eyes shut tighter, scrunching up his face in disgust.

"You awake, Eli?" August asked, his voice carrying softly in case he was still sleeping.

"Go away," Elias grumbled, "I don't wanna talk."

August let out a laugh, much to Elias's annoyance, and then to really add to his growing irritation, he felt the mattress sink down next to him. "Yeah, I bet you're pretty hungover, huh?"

"I'm serious August. Please leave me alone." He felt August's hands on him over the blanket, and he was suddenly furious. Hadn't he done enough? Elias was black and blue and still had caked blood on his face from his nose and felt like he might vomit any second, couldn't he just spend a little bit of time resting? Was that really too much to ask? As he sat up much quicker than even he was expecting, he shoved the blanket off of himself and pushed August's hands away. "I said leave me the fuck alone!"

August glared at him as the bitter words left his mouth, but it only lasted a second before he backhanded Elias across the face. He wasn't surprised at the broken cry Elias let out, or the fact that he had to grab him by his shoulders and press him hard against the wall to keep him upright after the blow. He leaned in intimidatingly close, until he could see the glistening tears building up in Elias's fear hazed eyes. "If you ever speak to me like that again I will rip your fucking tongue out."

Elias stared at him, eyes wide and silent tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't try to move away from him and didn't speak, paralyzed in fear. He wanted the pain to stop, he wanted to stop being scared, he wanted to go home. But all he could do was stay silent and allow August to break him.

"Never talk to me that way. Do you understand?" He was using a more steady tone now, less furious. He loosened his grip on his arms, and Elias could already tell his arms would have hand shaped bruises later. He finally nodded his head once, swallowing back his fear. "Good," his voice was kind again, a self-satisfied grin spread easily onto his face, "good boy."

Elias sighed shakily, looking down at his trembling hands. It suddenly hit him that no one was going to save him, that it had been days and he was still stuck here. August was right, Tyson didn't care about him like he thought he did, now that Allen was ok. He was going to die here. This was it for him. A chill ran down his spine, and he looked up at August as a sort of sickening acceptance hit him. He couldn’t help but hope that August, in his own twisted way, actually wanted him. Even if it only went as far as desire, of lust, he hoped that behind all the torture that August actually wanted him here. Because if he didn't... that would mean that no one wanted him. Not Tyson, not his parents, not even August. And he didn't think he could handle that.

"Do you care about me?" He whimpered. "Or am I just a replacement for Allen?"

"That's a stupid question," August huffed, letting go of Elias altogether. "I hardly even know you, idiot. Of course you're a replacement." He was still smiling softly at him as he said it, and if Elias wasn't really listening to what he was saying he wouldn't even realize he was being mean.

Elias closed his eyes, his heart sinking. This was all a game, he was just a toy, a warm body. Every nice thing he'd said was suddenly a lie, Elias didn't believe any of it. He wasn't beautiful or perfect or precious like August told him, which he knew, but knowing that August had been lying about it made it that much worse. And he had been begging for affection, allowing him to touch him so intimately. Now the deep nausea in his stomach worsened with the swelling disgust in himself. He noticed August was still staring at him with that sickly sweet smile, and he tried to plaster on his own nonchalant, carefree grin. Even he could tell it was faltering and not at all convincing, but the only other alternative was to show that he was hurting, that August's words bothered him, and that was even worse. "That's...that's so relieving." His voice caught painfully as he forced a mangled chuckle. "Here I was, worried you'd catch feelings and I'd have to break your heart." Even as he said it, even with the strained smile he wore, he was choking back his sobs.

"Oh, Eli," August sighed, seemingly defeated. His face softened a fraction -maybe, Elias could have easily been imagining it- and he looked almost like he felt bad for making him upset. "I was only kidding angel. Just giving you a hard time." He reached out and pet Elias's hair gently, frowning when the obvious hurt look on his face stayed. "You're so sensitive. I'm utterly obsessed with you."

Elias sniffled and brought his good hand up to wipe the tears out of his eyes, but once his fingertips fell on the damaged skin of his face, he decided it wasn't worth all the pain, and he let a few slide down his cheeks anyway. "You stress me the hell out."

August laughed at him and pushed himself off the bed. His black shirt had some sort of band logo on it, one Elias had never seen, and it made him a little uneasy to think of August being normal enough to like a band, to buy a tee shirt from them. It was too human, and thinking of August as anything less than a monster made him feel like the crazy one, like he was making up all of the torture.

"Come on, let's get you some breakfast."

Elias groaned at the mention of food, shaking his head. "Man, I can't even think about eating." He was yanked off of the bed by his arm anyway, letting out a sharp gasp and doubling over as a searing pain tore through him. He clutched onto August's shirt, his breathing hitched and short as he waited for the pain to subside.

"What is it, love?" August asked him, his voice concerned. Elias wanted to roll his eyes at his honeyed voice, it was giving him whiplash to try and keep up with August’s violent switch between caring about the pain and being the creator of it.

Instead, he could only shake his head, still unable to breathe correctly. He cried out as August scooped him up, then, almost like he was giving up, buried his face in his clothes. "You really hurt me yesterday," he whimpered, "I thought you said you would only hurt me when I misbehaved. I didn't misbehave."

"I didn't hurt you because you were bad, angel. I hurt you because you sound so pretty when you're hurting." He set Elias down in one of the uncomfortable kitchen chairs, smiling at the breathless whine he let out. "See, like that. Absolutely gorgeous."

Elias looked away from him, chewing on his lip nervously. He hated the way August explained everything like it was obvious, like Elias was missing out on very well known information. Of course August hurt him because he liked the way he sounded. Duh. He grimaced when August grabbed his face, tilting his chin up towards him. "You are so beautiful, Eli. So very pretty."

Elias couldn't help but lean toward him, sighing at the touch. "I wish you were so sweet all the time," he whispered.

August chuckled, running his thumb across Elias's lip, amused at the way he relaxed against him. He was surprised at how easy he'd been adjusting, so far. Sure, he was stubborn and foul mouthed, but he didn't expect him to be accepting, borderline wanting, touch so easily yet. It took Allen a little over a week to get where Elias was already. "I have to show you something," he said, already pulling out his phone.

August had had people keeping an eye on Tyson, following him to make sure he stayed clueless, leaving minuscule threats that were untraceable, ready to hurt him if he was getting too close to finding Elias. They had been sending August pictures as updates, and August was absolutely giddy at the few that they had gotten of Tyson and Allen, them clinging onto each other in a tight embrace, them going somewhere with Tyson's arm slung around his shoulders. Supposedly it wasn’t much more than a friendly touch because Allen was still with Leo, his free shrink, the one he called his husband, the one who Allen was using to make himself feel better. But that didn’t matter, Elias didn’t need to know that. As far as he needed to know, Tyson had handed him over and was now all touchy with his ex again.

When he turned the phone to show Elias, he watched his face fall into a dejected, hopeless frown. So August wasn't lying, then. Tyson really had traded him off for Allen, threw him to the wolves in order to protect the person he actually cared about. He turned away so he didn't have to see it anymore, closing his eyes. He had been hoping against hope that August was lying, clinging onto the belief that Tyson cared, that he would never dream of doing something so horrible. Maybe he was just stupid. Maybe he should have expected it from the beginning.

"See? You're better off here, where someone actually cares for you." August rubbed his shoulder as he spoke, his voice soft and almost...nurturing.

Elias looked up at him, nodding his head. "Yeah," he whispered. His voice was horse and tense from trying to choke back his tears. "Yeah, you're right." He sighed as August placed a kiss on his forehead, leaning into the touch. So that was it, then. Tyson didn't want him and probably wasn't looking for him, he was stuck here with August. He told himself it could be worse, August could do what he did to Allen and torture him and beat the shit out of him, and he wasn't, really. For the most part, he was just vaguely threatening when he wasn't being sweet and praising. He could live with this. Maybe if he was very well behaved, August would stop being cruel altogether, he could actually enjoy being here.

"Want some orange juice? It might help your hangover."

"Yes please," Elias answered, wrapping his frail arms around his battered body.

After August finished eating and Elias felt a little less like he was standing on death's doorstep, they were sitting in the living room, Elias on the floor in between August’s legs. He had his eyes closed as August played with his hair, listening as he hummed softly to himself. His headache was starting to subside, and August began to massage his shoulders. Elias wondered how long it would take him to actually wholeheartedly enjoy the touch, how long until it didn't come with a confusing mix of fear. Half of him wished it would be soon, it would be so much better than the gnawing anxiety he was feeling all the time. But the other half was appalled at himself for even so much as sort of wanting it now. Why would he want to enjoy the soft, obsessive touches of the person who had spent the last few hours torturing him? Why was he letting him touch him right now? He was an idiot, for not running away from him and doing absolutely everything in his power to keep his hands away from him.

"Are you feeling better, bunny?" August asked him, leaning over so his lips brushed against his ear. He smirked when he noticed that Elias's muscles grew instantly taut as he closed in on him.

"A little. My body hurts, sort of." He tilted his head back to look up at him, the corner of his lips twitching into a smile when he kissed his nose. "Th...thank you."

"Of course." He grabbed a fistful of his hair to pull him closer, Elias's already unsteady breathing faltered nervously. "Hey, I'm gonna invite some of my friends over later, is that ok?"

"Yeah, that's cool." He closed his eyes again, forcing himself to relax in his grip. He wasn’t really sure why August made it seem like he had any say in the matter. He was probably messing with him again, pretending like he cared, like Elias mattered to him. "Can we get drunk again?"

August chuckled, pulling off of him altogether. "We should just get high, I don't think your little body can handle anymore alcohol."

"I don't like weed," Elias grumbled, "I told you not to let me smoke again."

"Not weed then. I think I have some molly." He stood up, making his way to the kitchen. When he came back, he sat on the floor next to Elias, holding out his hand to show him the two small pills placed in his palm. Elias was scared, he hadn't even smoked weed or drank before he came here, he didn't know if he was ready for something like molly. But August was much less scary when he wasn't sober, much easier to be around. His stomach was in knots and his hands were shaking as he reached out to take the pills from him, and then he was tossing them back before he had a chance to change his mind.

Elias felt like he was floating, like his body and his mind were finally connected. His tics weren't painful anymore, they were borderline comfortable, like he was scratching an unreachable itch in his brain. The world around him seemed to glow, a bright and beautiful haze that enveloped him with warmth. Why had he been so scared to feel this way? This was what he wanted life to feel like all the time, this calm and pleasant and warm.

August's friends were loud and laughing from the second they walked in, they were all hands and flashy smiles and guttural laughter. Elias noticed how different August seemed around them, how he wasn't threatening or evil at all. He seemed so normal.

Elias was the focus of their attention, he seemed to amuse them quite easily. Particularly when he ticced. They all laughed and mimicked him, but it was all in good fun, to Elias. The laughter just felt warm and friendly, and the way August was looking at him with a wide grin made him feel comfortable with it.

"Hey, here's an idea," one of them spoke up, "let's take little Elias for a swim."

The rest of them chuckled and agreed, and Elias was yanked to his feet, the amount of hands on him was confusing, everyone was ushering him outside. But it was just swimming, right? August took him swimming a few times, and usually it was one of the few places he was safe, at least for awhile.

He blinked at the bright sunlight, looking at the glimmering pool and then at all the people around him. He felt his shirt being tugged at, and he began to feel nervousness creeping up his spine. He started frantically searching through the sea of people to find August, but every face that stared into him was unfamiliar and almost demonically grinning at him. He squirmed in their grasp, the fun suddenly seemed to ice in the air around him..

"Stop it, please," he begged them, still searching for August. "Come on, you're scaring me."

"Awe, he's scared," one of them teased, grabbing some of his hair and pulled it playfully, laughing at him, "look at him, he's still spazzing!"

Elias gasped as they pulled his shirt off, using it to tie his hands up behind him. He scrambled a little bit as they shoved him toward the edge of the pool, afraid of the suddenly dark and choppy water, trying his hardest to not fall in. It was all futile though, and they tossed him into it carelessly.

Elias could only think of one thing as he tried to kick his way to the surface: oh god I'm drowning! He couldn't seem to get the shirt off of his arms, no matter how hard he tried. His lungs were screaming for air, surely his panicked thrashing wasn’t helping, and through it all he heard a loud pop from above the water. He heard another, this time he felt something shooting threw the water next to him. Were they... Shooting at him?

He grew more frantic, fighting against the shirt and the water, suddenly lightheaded. After one of the gunshots, Elias's arm lit up in pain. His shoulder was burning, and he fought harder. The pool around him was dark with blood, making everything all the more horrifying. One last shot rang out, and seconds later Elias was pulled out of the water. He collapsed onto the rough concrete as he gulped in breaths, trying to ease the burning in his chest. The shirt was pulled off of his arms, and he cried out as his shoulder fell forward, remembering the pain. He was pulled to his feet, feeling himself being pulled into a warm, clothed chest. August. He was able to breathe a little better, but now he could hear the quiet wailing of someone behind him. August pulled away before turning him to his group of friends, one of whom was on the floor holding his leg as he cried. Elias noticed the puddle of red around him, and he paled. Had he shot himself by accident? As he thought it, a cold, heavy thing was pressed into his hand.

He looked at August questioningly, eyes wide. He felt August force his fingers around it, holding his fingers down with his own. "What... What?"

"He shot you, you're gonna shoot him back." He spoke through his teeth, an angry grit in his voice. So August had shot him. That made sense.

Elias shook his head, feeling August stretch both of their arms out to point the gun at him. "No! I don't wanna do that!" He whimpered, trying to pull his arm away.

"Stay still Eli!" August snapped. He held him still, tightening his grip over Elias's hand on the gun.

"Please, August!" The man on the floor wailed, writhing in pain still. Elias was shaking in his panic, watching him in horror. He flinched when August forced his finger down on the trigger and it made a loud pop. He froze, eyes wide as he watched the bullet pass through his head, and then watched him crumple to the ground in now an ever bigger pool of blood. He couldn't speak as August pulled the gun away from him and tucked it away. He stumbled as he was led inside, feeling light-headed and like he was about to vomit.

He was silent still as August sat him on the edge of the bathtub, cleaning the wound on his shoulder. He couldn't even feel the pain, his body numb.

"It's a pretty clean shot, I don't think it hit any bone. Kind of just grazed you." August spoke as he bandaged him up. "Does it hurt?"

"Yes," Elias answered mechanically, his voice wavering. He tried to breathe, but his breathing was unsteady and quick.

"Hey, look at me." August instructed. Elias looked up at him, his breath catching. "You're ok. Everything's ok."

Elias felt tears streaming down his face, but he still didn't really feel anything. "I think I'm in shock." He whispered.

"Yeah I think so. Let's go get you wrapped up in a blanket and get you some water, ok?" He helped Elias up, leading him into the living room. He draped a blanket over his shoulders and sat him on the couch. He left him to talk to the rest of his friends, and all Elias could hear from their conversation was something about getting rid of the body. He pulled his knees up to his chest, staring blankly at the floor.

August came back in, sitting close to him. He handed Elias a glass of water, smiling as he took small sips. "There. You ok?"

Elias looked at him, then back at the glass of water. "I shot someone," he stated blankly, "I killed someone."

"Mhm. And he deserved it, too." August petted his cheek gently to try and sooth him, but Elias stayed rigid and cold.

"I killed him. I killed someone." Now he was saying it like he was reminding himself what he did, trying to come to terms with it.

August pulled him into his arms, holding him tight. He was waiting for him to break, to get over his shock and start bawling or screaming, but he stayed eerily still against him, besides his shaking.

They sat that way for around 30 minutes, Elias worryingly silent in August's arms. He wasn't even ticcing anymore, he was so still that it was freaking August out. He pulled away to look at him, and when Elias made eye contact, his face twitched into a frown.

"What the fuck!" He gasped, his hands tightening around the blanket. His eyes welled up with tears.

"Hey, hey, it's ok," August soothed, wiping at Elias's tears gently. "You're alright, love."

"I can't believe...what the fuck did I do?!" He began to sob, his shoulders jolting with the gasps. "What the fuck! Holy fuck!"

August got concerned at his ragged breathing, the panicked rising of his voice. He couldn't say anything to calm him down, not when he was panicking so much, so he slapped him. Not too hard, just enough to jolt him out of his panic. "Listen to me, Eli. Everything is fine, don't work yourself up."

Elias bit back sobs, frowning at August. "I'm sorry," he whined, his lip trembling, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"You’ve got to stop freaking out like this.” His voice was scolding, like Elias had broken a plate or something only slightly annoying and not shot and killed someone. “Seriously, sweetheart, you’re letting everything get to you way too much. You’ll make yourself sick with worry.”

Maybe it was the tone of his voice, the way he was making it all seem so insignificant, but Elias believed him. He didn’t have any control over the situation, maybe there really was no point of getting so worked up, it only made it more scary.

“I want to get drunk again, now,” he breathed, his voice trembling and weak, “please.”

August grinned at him, nodding approvingly. “Ok, love. Whatever you want. Come on, we’ll go make some drinks.”

When they were in the kitchen, two of August’s friends were still in there, hovering next to the counter. One kept looking over his shoulder out the window, at the now red tinted pool outside, his face pale. The other simply stared at the wall to his left, his stare blank and faraway. Elias felt them turn to stare as he lowered himself into a chair at the kitchen table. He was surprised when the more obviously nervous one moved to sit across from him.

“Hey,” he mumbled awkwardly, “how are you feeling?”

Elias looked like maybe he didn’t hear what he said, using his good hand to pick at a chipped part of the table. There were traces of dried, partially washed away blood on his forearm. It had slid its way down his arm when August was bandaging him up and he hadn’t bothered to wash it away completely. Elias understood why, what was the point of it? What was the point in worrying or caring about anything? Like August said, like he was starting to realize, it was a waste of his energy to sit around upsetting himself over it, what was a little dried blood?

“I’m fine,” he choked out. “What about… what about you?”

The man shrugged, watching Elias’s hands shaking and ticcing every now and then as he tried desperately to keep them busy with the ruined wood. “I feel bad. It was meant to be a joke, it wasn’t supposed to go that far. I didn’t know he was gonna… I’m sorry that happened.”

August took a deep, aggravated sigh from where he was mixing their drinks. He didn’t say anything when he set a glass down in front of Elias, but he did trace his thumb over his wrist before turning to the counter. He made three more drinks, dispersed them to his friends and then sat down with his own.

They all drank in haunting silence, August seemed like he was the only one who wasn’t upset, his face was almost bored. Elias tried to mimic his levelheadedness, to try to not think about it. And yet, he kept having to reach up and rub the tears blurring his vision out of his eyes.

#whumpee #whump blog #emotional whump #whump scenario #captivity whump #whump fic #whumpblr #whump writing #whumper #whump prompt #whump oc #whump story #whump community #whump drabble #defiant whumpee #whump tropes #whump ideas #whump dialogue #whump character #whump challenge #whump concept #whump comfort #whump inspiration #whump mention #whump scenes #whump series #whump stuff #whump snippet #whump things #whump tag

[elf-bot]

arguments - eunhyuk

genre: angst, fluff

wc: 681

request: Wow not so many people write for super Junior, thank you!! 🥺 could you please write something for Eunhyuk too where his wife is heavily pregnant and they have been arguing and she almost slips off the stairs but he’s right there to save her and they just cling to each other? Please make it long with fluffy ending 🥰🥰

[no idea if this is long enough anon, but hope it’s okay ! ]

You were exhausted. Not just exhausted about life and work but exhausted because of your pregnancy. Millions of times you heard this was a beautiful moment on a woman’s life, now you were doubting about it.

The past weeks have been hell. If it’s not an argument or something to fix at work or with your sister, then you had arguments with your husband at home. He was tired too, of course, but you thought he only saw what he wanted and forgot about you and your baby.

Tonight was no exception to have another fight. Arguments were becoming part of your routine to say so. At some point you had to get used to it.

You just got home from the market and been arguing. Hyukjae was rambling as he was acommodating some stuff in the fridge. You on the other hand stayed at the kitchen bar drawing out things like eggs and milk.

“Can you just stop talking now?!” you yelled, causing him to stop his words.

Caught by surprise he turned around with a stern look.

“What? Are you not going to discuss this? Will you leave it again for another time?” he snapped.

“I don’t have time for this bullshit, Hyukjae!” your eyes got teary. “I just want to come home and be mentally stable for the baby, so shut up just for five minutes!”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you about us, but you just keep pushing this conversation!”

“Oh god, you’re crazy!” you rolled your eyes. “I’m done here, I will just go to my room and take a bath” you whispered.

Exhasperated you walked upstairs, leaving your husband alone. He cursed himself under his breath before he started to follow you.

“Hey, I really want to talk!” he demanded. You stopped at the edge of the stairs while he got up all the way, looking you from above. You sighed, thinking all of this was tiring.

“I already told you I just want to rest, can we leave it for tomorrow?”

“Just answer me,” he said. His eyes became soft.

“I don’t-”

“Why are you always avoiding it?”

You screwed your eyes shut.

“I am not avoiding this! You’re obsessed!”

“So you’re not thinking about getting divorced?”

“No! No! I am not, god just leave this! I love you, okay? Just let me be calm for a day!” you shouted.

You turned around to go downstairs again. Somehow you tripped on and almost fell but a pair of arms quickly held you and stopped you from falling. Holding into dear life on the railing with your hands you let out a cry. For a second you worried about the baby, thinking the worst could happen.

“I am sorry” he whispered and helped you to bend up.

Hyukjae held your body, carrying you to the bedroom. Once you sat on the bed you cried together embracing each other while he mumbled apologies to you.

“I don’t know what have gotten into you to think that I would leave you” you sobbed. “I am pregnant!”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled wiping the tears on your face. “I thought you wanted to get a divorce because you were looking for a lot information about it on the computer these past weeks. Why would you that?” he confessed with narrow eyes. “I got when I found out.”

You chuckled lightly.

“Hyukjae, that was for my sister. She’s the one getting divorced.”

“Oh, thank god,” he said hugging you tightly, but careful to not disturb your belly. “It’s not that I am happy your sister is getting divorced, but you could’ve told me.” he continued.

You let out a breath.

“I don’t wanted you to worry about it, she’s my sister after all. And we’re all been so stressed lately...”

“Your family is my family too, please don’t hide things from me. I won’t either.” Hyukjae reassured you cupping your cheek with his hand. “I can be a moral support if you need it.”

A smile formed on your lips and you nodded. You leaned and kiss him softly.

“I love you, do not question my love for you” you whispered. “And don’t make us stressed.”

“I promise I won’t. I am excited for the baby,” he kissed your forehead.

“Well, be prepared because I feel the baby will be here very soon.” you beamed.

#super junior imagines #super junior scenarios #super junior imagine #super junior eunhyuk #eunhyuk imagine #eunhyuk scenarios #eunhyuk imagines #eunhyuk x reader #super junior #suju #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

[btssunnyboy]

— Guardian - YandereGuardian Angel! Jungkook

His mission on earth was to protect you in the purest way, but how did mere protection turn in dangerous obsession?

Word Count 3.7k

Warning - Yandere! Themes, Murder, attempted murder, and all around possessiveness, and obsession. ALSO I WANT TO DO A YANDERE SERIES WITH ALL THE BOYS, LIKE JUNGKOOK IS A GUARDIAN ANGEL WHAT SHOULD THE OTHER BOYS BE?

BTS - NCT - ATEEZ - Requests open for all groups!

__________________________________________

The guardian angel had one very specific job when he came down to earth. Simply protect his human from harm, but in the most humane way possible. That means no extreme measures should be took, the main priority should be to get the human out of the situation, without harm coming to anyone involved. He followed that rule throughly, well to be more clear, he followed it throughly when he was first starting out. Making sure the precious mortal was fine after a scrap was skidded across their knees to a small mishap in the kitchen that lead to a burnt palm. Everything he done was innocent, no ill intentions were behind any of his doings. In fact when he was first starting out he made sure things were handled in a graceful way. After all that was the main rule he had to follow.

He’d be the little angel on your shoulder that was whispering how the situation should be handled. The thought of violence occurring, around him truly terrified him to the core. Being one of the younger angels, he hasn’t had time to properly live out his immortal life. All he’s ever seen is peaceful, and happy people up in the heaven above, violence was a whole new ball park for him. So he made sure that it was avoided at all cost. This strategy was effective for the most part, but he used this when he first got to earth. When he didn’t know you as well as he does now. And not knowing you well enough played a much bigger role in his personality then you thought.

When he first started watching over you, distance was a big thing he cared about. Making sure he’s not your second shadow, making sure he’s not clinging onto you after every step. He didn’t want to be suffocating like some of the other angels he’s seen, because he’s seen their humans completely turn against them for that reason. But he didn’t want that to happen to you, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint the reason within him, but the thought of you turning against him made him ill. It made his stomach fill with dread, it made his palms grow sweaty every second, it made his mind race with other possibilities of you getting hurt or worse on his watch. For the sake of keeping you on his side he kept his distance, for as long as he deemed necessary.

But as time went on, many things around you started to change. Your college professors were piling work load upon work load onto you every night, the same retail job you were working at is almost close to bankruptcy, and you’re not getting a lot of sleep. Put all of those things together and you get a person who is stressed and not all there. This was the first time he felt his platonic feelings morph into something else. Something more along the lines of protection, and worry, but with a sinister twist added into the mix. But like the responsible angel he is, he kept those feelings inside. Letting the bottle up for as long as he could.

As you know keeping things bottled inside is never the right way to go. Letting all of these feelings mush and mold into one another to the point that you’re filled up with extreme amounts of anger and insecurities it takes things to a whole other level. The final straw for him was seeing you walk through the door with puffy eyes,soaked clothes, and your hair matted to your forehead. He could feel the feathers on his wings tense up, and his hands immediately clutched themselves into tight fists. Without missing a beat he made himself noticeable, and wrapped his arms around your waist, and his wings soon followed suit as they tucked themselves around your shaking body.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into staying at the house today. Are you hurt, do you need me to heal anything? Do you wanna tell me who did this?” He mumbled frantically into your hair, as he guided you to the bedroom. If he didn’t get you out of these wet and dirty clothes and into a warm shower soon, you’d probably catch a cold. And he wasn’t going to have his baby sick, not when he can prevent it.

“It was just a bad day a work, besides...” You stopped a little ways into your sentence to wiped the muddy hair from your forehead. The scene replaying itself on a loop inside of your head, and you hated it. It made a feeling of helpless coat your body like a wet blanket, and it was starting to become suffocating in a terrible way. Their faces were etched into your brain as they purposely served right into the puddle beside of you. They were familiar, but those girls were honestly just the typically drunk, mean girls looking for a cheap laugh and you despised them for it.

“Besides what, Y/n?” Jungkook sternly spoke as he raised an eyebrow at you. Why were you stopping in the middle of sentence when there was clearly a problem at hand, most importantly why were you trying to keep secrets from the one that is destined to protect you? He didn’t move from his stance as his gaze bored into the side of your head. All he wanted was answers, and he was going to get them one way or another. Violence may have been a taboo thing to him earlier on in his training, but now he doesn’t have a problem with creating chaos around those who dare harm you. “I’m not gonna give this up, y/n, and you know that. You can either tell me what I want to know or I’ll tap into your memories myself.”

The feeling of helplessness long gone, as you clicked your tongue in an annoyed manner. Trying not to pay him any mind, you scampered around the room trying to find suitable clothes for the night. What kind of entitled prick does he think he is, trying to scare you by saying he’ll tap into your memories himself. It was a mistake that a few drunk girls made, but even so, you still worried about what he might do to them. A small puddle of water never killed anybody, besides the pure angel you once knew has changed his way of dealing with things, and you didn’t like it. Letting him tap into any memories would result is mass hysteria.

He stared it utter disbelief, you were never disobedient when he asked things like that. You never scoffed or turned your head in any matter, and the small action seemed to anger him even more then your current state. After everything that’s happened today, from your crying fit to being covered in muddy water, and you still won’t let him help. Why were protecting people who caused you harm, unless you held a much deeper relationship with them. But you’d tell him if you were, you always told him if someone new in comes into your life, but he never tells you how he makes sure their life becomes a living hell the moment he sees them. No matter how deranged and psychotic it sounded, he needed you to say yes to letting him float through your memories! After all he’s just doing this to protect you, but who do you really need protection from. Everyone else or do you need protection from him?

You had to get away from the crazed look in his eyes, it was driving you insane. He, himself, was driving you insane, and you didn’t know how much longer you could take it. No one deserved to have their life controlled by someone who other people can’t see, it makes you look like a crazy person when you’re talking to yourself in the middle of class. The steaming water was a distraction for the harsh, coldness that was starting to exude from Jungkook. It was disturbing to say the least, and you just needed five mere minutes away from that chaos that was supposed to be your pure guardian angel.

“I’m truly sorry, y/n, I really am.” No he wasn’t, but you didn’t need to know that. He just needed you to think that he was sorry for his outburst, that he was sorry about being so overprotective. Because he needed you to let all of your guard down, that way tapping into those pesky memories would be an even easier job. His ear was pressed against the bathroom silently praying he’d hear the lock make it signature click, and you’d walk out with a sad smile plastered to your face. But when he didn’t hear that click, or the soft patter of your feet hitting the wooden floor he knew this was going to take a lot more work. “I’ll leave you be.”

He knew that his original plan was down to the drain, so now all he as to do is wait till you’re sound asleep. Because whoever made your day bad, will pay. He’ll make them burn like the raging fires in hell for what they did, and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Thinking about how amazing their mangled bodies would look like strung up in horrific accidents. But most importantly he couldn’t stop thinking about how happy and appreciative you’d be, once you found out what he had done for you! All your praises and glory would be bestowed upon him, and he couldn’t wait. If he wanted any of his dreams to come true he had to wait till you were finally sleeping peacefully.

“Just please leave me alone for tonight, and don’t you dare tap into my memories.” You warned as you shoved past him. Making a b - line for soft comforter that sat messily on your bed, and tucking yourself in. Jungkook watched with admiration written in his eyes, as he marveled at how you could make a simple task look so delicate and beautiful. But you were someone he’s grown to love, through his eyes everything you did was simply elegant and lovely. He had to make sure you stayed that way, and if getting rid of these people would preserve that then he’d do anything.

He watched and waited for hours until he knew for a fact that you were in a deep sleep. Taking two fingers he pressed them to your temple, as he felt your memories connect with his. All the pain you had felt throughout the day overtaking his body in quick, repeated pulses. They attacked every nerve that was available, they flooded his mind like a tsunami, taking his entire body hostage. At first all he felt was the pain, and sadness you had gone through, but the picture was starting to become much clearer. From the rude customers at the drive through, to the supposedly drunk girls that rain into a puddle and drenched you from head to toe. But he could tell from their evil eyes that they meant to swerve into that puddle. Simply by doing that he now knows that this means war.

When he finally saw them, he knew their punishment couldn’t be gentle. It couldn’t be over within the snap of a finger, he needed the pain to linger in their bones so they get the full experience. He wants them to feel the same amount of pain you felt, but he wants it amplified by one - hundred percent. Because at the end of the day they deserved this! If they wanted to deal our immense pain, then surely they’re strong enough to handle it when it’s forced back on them, right? But judging by the way the girl was clutching and clawing at her throat in agony, and gasping to get an ounce of fresh air in her lungs, in this case she couldn’t handle the pain. And he was soaking in the glory as he watched her fumbled around on the floor, dragging her nails into the carpet in an attempt to get to her phone, that was merely a few inches away.

Jungkook released the mental hold on her, and then proceeded to step lightly on her hand, making sure that only a small percentage of weight was being put on. First, it was the back of his heel, and soon the tip of his foot was touching the tips of her fingers. At this moment he wanted to hear her scream for mercy so loudly that her throat bled, like it was being cut by shards of class, but sadly he couldn’t have that. The more people that witness this mass hysteria, the more people he’ll have to get rid of. And you may not forgive him if he hurts people that weren’t involved in the original problem. While resting his body on her weak hand, he kneeled down to make eye contact, he wanted her to see the face of her killer.

“Why are you...” The poor girl couldn’t hold eye contact, as her head was growing too heavy for her neck to support. Soon, all of the pain was starting to take over her whole body. She felt herself slipping away into unconsciousness. But the angel was still feeling playful, and he was going to keep playing with his prey until he was completely satisfied with his revenge.

“You really wanna know why I’m doing this? Because you hurt her, you hurt someone who I care deeply about. Now they’re too nice to want revenge on a pathetic mortal like yourself, but I don’t give two shits who you are. Because at the end of the day no one hurts the one I love.” He didn’t notice,but she sure did. She notice how his once clear eyes were fading into a black hole of nothing less. His halo floating above his head, was starting to tilt, as if it was close to the brim of falling off. And everyone knows once an angel looses it halo, horns start to grow in its place.

_________________________________________

For the next couple of weeks, he was giddy. His giggle was toned up an octave higher, his touch was lingering a bit longer then usual, and to no one’s surprise he started showing more of signs of obsession. You on the other hand, were complete different. Your feelings were on opposite sides of the spectrum, fear soared through every inch in your body, you plastered the biggest smile on your face, praying that he would buy it. All of seemed fabricated, because you truly didn’t want to believe that he had killed her. A funny joke to someone, costed them their life. Now you were scared to even glance at someone for too long, thinking that a Jungkook might see them as threat.

“Hey, Y/n, are you feeling alright?” Jisung tilted his head, as he started to rub comforting circles on your back. The small action taking you out of your trance like state, and putting you back into reality. A place you’d much rather be without. His eyebrow was raised in suspicion when you noticed your gaze stayed connected to his shoes. To lighten the mood, he jokingly asked, “Come on I know they’re dirty, but do you really have to stare?”

You eyes averted back up to his within a second, guilt coating your face. The thought of accidentally offending him, make you heart clench in guilt. He was the one person who surprisingly stayed, throughout all the controversy that was starting to bubble up around you. “Han! I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just having an off day.”

His arm glided over your shoulders, it felt so nice and natural. It felt safe, and this wasn’t something you felt a whole lot. And you wanted to cherish every moment of it, but a nagging voice in head was scolding you. Forcing you to think about the obsessive angel that was watching your every move. You subtly tried to pull your body away from Jisung, but you didn’t want to be disrespectful. You needed to catch the bus back to your apartment in a decent time.

“Hey, before you go I was wondering, do you wanna grab a bite to eat? I’ll pay.” Jisung smile brightly, as his cheeks puffed out ever so slightly. The small action making you grin, you always loved his full cheeks. Even thought he complains about them half the time, you think they make him cuter. He noticed you hesitation, and immediately started to cower away. “I just realized, you probably don’t like me like that. So I’ll be on my way.”

You body reacted before your mind could even process what was exactly happening. A small tug delivered to his left hand, made his entire body holt. A hopeful smile taking over his cheeks, as you laced you fingers with his. You really should have listened to the angel on your shoulder, but you liked Jisung. That’s why the next words that came out of your mouth gave him hope. “A quick bit never hurt anyone. So, where should we go?”

It physically felt like a spark of joy shot through his eyes at your statement. The coolness of the rings, on his hand, when they collided with yours felt serene. You’ve been surrounded by smothering hot, hatred and obsessiveness for too long. And this was finally the break you needed, this was finally the break you deserved. When his fingered laced with yours, you truly felt at home.

“There’s this quiet little diner, on WellRose drive. It’s maybe a ten minute walk. Is that okay?” Jisung asked with a soft tone. Stroking the back of your hand with his thumb, as he gently swayed your arm.

“It’s perfect.” You smiled as you felt yourself grip his hand a little tighter. Almost as if to make sure this wasn’t a dream, to make sure this wasn’t an illusion Jungkook had made to test your loyalty. As if right now you could truly breath for a second, and not worry about the guardian angel.

While you were were out living the best life you can live, as well as living it up with another boy, Jungkook was a mess. His breath was becoming ragged, his palms were growing sweaty, his heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he was afraid his entire chest would burst wide open. The clock said a quarter past four, and usually you’re home at exactly four o’clock. Questions were racing through his mind, did someone hurt you, did the bus crash, did you forget about him? He should his head rapidly, disappointment filling his body at the thought of that, of course you didn’t forget about him, you love him! Thinking quickly on his feet he raced towards your bedroom, he can make the angel and mortal bond stronger by having a personal item. A small chain necklace, with a beautiful red butterfly pendent was definitely a personal item.

He clutched that pendent like his life depended on, and right now it does. Without you he has no one to protect, without you he has no one to love, without he has no purpose! Finding you now is his main mission, and he needs to be successful. A quick vision flashed through his eyes of you sitting quietly in a diner booth, hands delicately holding up a tattered menu. He felt his heart slow down, you simply getting something to eat and he absolutely couldn’t be mad at you over that. But as the vision went on, he noticed the brown haired boy sitting across from you. And he knew he could raise hell over that. Within a minute he had teleported from your bedroom to the back door of the small diner.

He could see in through the windows, and noticed just how cozy the two do you were getting. The small hand touches across the table, to the lingering gazed this stupid boy was giving you. All of it was making his blood boil, and his vision was going straight to red. A quick shuffle made him force his wings to tuck themselves together, making it appear as if he had none. All of the scenarios in his heads were brutal and graphic, as he pictured multiple ways that this boy could suffer. And as a cruel joke, or punishment, he was going to make you watch every single second of it. But for now he needed to wait to make his move. Right as the boy was excusing himself, he quickly dashed towards the front door, and he was almost hurt when you didn’t glance up to see who it was.

Your eyes stayed glued to the menu, as you softly spoke about you day. The sound of your voice was like heaven in his ears, he could listen to you talking all day. But right now he needed you home. He took your hand, and found amusement in your terrified expression as you tried to jerk your hand away as well. “Now listen my love, I don’t want to sound rushed, but we don’t have a lot of time. You have two options, leave with me now and no one will get hurt, and I’ll dismiss this whole acting out thing, this time. But if you choose to stay I’ll reek absolute havoc on this diner, and your precious little boyfriend.”

“Jungkook! This is outrageous! You’re a guardian angel, you’re supposed to provide peace, not threaten people with danger.” You sputtered frantically, and your eyes darted towards the bathroom.

“Doesn’t matter, Tic,Tok my love, your window of time is getting quite small. And I just want you to keep in mind I was brutal with that girl, imagine how brutal I’ll be with someone who’s trying to take you away.”

The freeing, coolness you felt with Jisung is now gone for good, and is replaced with the familiar smothering, and sweltering heat of Jungkook’s obsession. You gripped his heavy hand across the table, and forcibly pulled his body out of the booth.

“I knew my baby loved me more! But keep in mind I still have to get rid of the competition.”

#jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #yandere jungkook #yandere jungkook x reader #yandere jungkook imagines #yandere imagines #kpop x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #yandere bts #yandere bts imagines #kpop yandere #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop x reader yandere #kpop oneshot #kpop scenarios

[sohoharlem]

No blogs will post this, except for me.

I’ve shared these thoughts with a friend of mine and I just want to post it here. All the gossip blogs out there are super biased, and I advise you to stay away from them, because they will never post anything that goes against that specific blog’s opinion. It’s not a health environment. What I'm going to say right now, is strictly opinion, but it’s one that I have found many agree with in secret, but for some odd reason are afraid of being lashed out at. But I'm taking one for the team. This is for those gossip blogs who refuse to listen to the other side because they paint an unrealistic version of a person they don’t even know in real life. ( Just to give you an idea of how blind, biased, and fucking stupid these blogs are, I submitted this to five different opinion blogs (the same ones obsessed with Ale) and not ONE wanted to respond or post it.)

This is for Sebastian Stan’s fans - the majority of them who worship the land he walks on. It’s based on the blind that came out, about two-ish months after he was spotted in NYC with his supposed “Girlfriend”, but many sources do believe their relationship was strictly PR, anyway.

Based on that above blind, I truly believe that his fans live in this big bubble of denial, where they believe Sebastian never has sex with anyone but the same person for an entire year. First of all, there is nothing wrong with men seeing strippers. And there is nothing wrong with escorts, it’s a choice. It doesn’t mean he is dirty or he is being reckless. He’s living his own damn life. He’s a grown ass man, probably 10+ years older than most of you. It’s also his choice, his money, and his life. He’s seen strippers in the past, and this might come as shocker to most of his innocent and new fans, but this (Sebastian Stan seeing strippers) is NOT NEW.

Stop thinking that this man has never fucked a woman raw or doesn’t like to feel good. Or that he doesn’t like sex. Stop trying to protect a grown man because you’re afraid of your image of him being tainted. I genuinely feel like most of his fans just keep coming up with excuse after excuse to make a rumor a lie in their eyes when it’s something that doesn’t work in their favor.

When the blind first came out, they all said this: “No way it’s him. He’s not A-List and he’s with his GF, and that sounds like something crazy. He’s also not the only actor right now filming. I think it’s Rob.” Funny how none of them debunked it as a lie, huh?

(It’s hilarious because they said the same exact thing about the COVID-19 on the TFATWS set blind, saying it was another movie when it ended up being confirmed it was in fact, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. And it made fucking sense because of course they’d want to film regardless, they want to get it done. They are tired of putting shit on hold.)

Anyway…

The second the name comes out that confirmed the open minded people’s suspicions, the realistic people, his delusional fans started spewing shit like:

“His crazy fans made up this blind.”

Really? You really think ENTY just allows anyone? You think that’s how it fucking works? ENTY could get in serious trouble if this and the COVID blind was just a fan rumor. I highly doubt that’s how it fucking works. If that were the case, she would have over a hundred blinds a day of fans trying to stir up shit. Please. Get over yourself. A “fan”, ha! Another spew of shit I kept seeing was:

“Uh uh…uhm… *nervous laughter* but he would never do that. He would never see a stripper. It has to be a lie. I NEEED PROOOOOOF.”

My fucking. God.

Look. Even if it’s not real, which it very well could not be, be we don’t know, stop living in a bubble of denial where Sebastian fucking Stan is a 20 year old virgin and has never been to a damn strip club. You need a reality check if you think that’s the case. You need to be hit on the side of the head.

Real or fake, stop trying to make him fit your persona of him. 

In response to the whole GF thing, I’d just like to say that this whole blind is more proof than any of her  baiting we’ve had until now. And yet certain blogs still cling to a fucking blue sweatshirt, a picture of a dead fish, and a blurry pixillated fire pit picture. Where they zoom in so hard it becomes a tragedy. Just think about that for a second. Done? Okay good. And yet they call THAT proof. For the love of fucking God, are you kidding me? Are you fucking joking? They cling on a seem or color of a shirt more than a “revealed name”. 

I don’t understand the obsession with that girl, I really fucking don’t.

This isn’t me attacking and nor is it me being bitter. Some of his fans really just drive me nuts and you can tell they are so damn naive, and very biased. Want to know how biased they are and how naive? I bet you a picture could come out of him making out with a new girl and they would still say “Yeah but maybe he was paid to do it” or the awful “i need more proof.” ??????? THERE’S A PICTURE RIGHT THERE. 

These are the same fans that run away from him and unstan him and then GO BACK to him after he posts a thirst picture of him.

It’s so hard not to want to bang my head against a damn wall with the amount of stupidity I see. One of the most frustrating fandoms. Wish they’d grow up.

Please stop confusing Sebastian Stan with your precious Bucky Barnes. This is real life, not a fucking fanfic. Maybe if you stopped reading fanfiction you’d take on a different light on reality and learn to see the difference between your favorite fictional character and the real life man, who, news flash, has sex and not with you.

#Sebastian stan #Alejandra onieva #marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier