#I’d have to go back and change so much

[simply-m-a-d]

they mean the world to me your honor

#dgm 247 #dgm #the way I’d commit atrocities for these two #their relationship is so important to me #they’ve grown so much and you can tell and see it so clearly in this chapter im actually crying #i love them so much it hurts #they deserve all the happiness #they’re moon and sun. sunshine and grumpy. reserved and charming. they complement each other in every way #the way they have each other’s back in their own way. how they’ve come to trust one another. and the way Hoshino still kept their silly- #fights and rivalry but it has taken a completely different turn. it’s them. they’ve grown and learned & changed but after all…its still them #brb imma go cry #Allen Walker #Kanda Yuu #Yullen

[faithfromanewperspective]

concert tickets are not an investment. hate how everything in this economy we’re like ‘ooh what if I buy it cheap then hike the price up and resell’ and it’s perfectly normal—it’s not. it’s not okay. what’s happening is you’re taking advantage of someone who’s really desperate to see this artist when if they wanna spend that money on the artist, the money should go to the artist themselves. who probably don’t change as much as they could because they’ve set a price that is financially sustainable for themselves and accessible to most who want to go not just the wealthy or those who don’t spend money on any other artists. and I’m not talking about if you can’t go to your concert and resell your ticket closer to it for like 25% more to get a bit back for all the time you spent waiting in queue for a concert you don’t even get to go to. the reason concert tickets are so hard to get is because there are people competing to buy them who are just gonna resell them for absurd amounts of money and honestly? as concertgoers and fans of artists we deserve better. our artists deserve better. they didn’t put a middleman in there. we don’t need it.

#I met someone who spent $1000 on a resold obstructed view eras ticket same as what I bought for $80 #that’s just unethical to earn that much from a ticket. honestly I’d say even 50% more or close to double is okay if you were gonna go #but the fact that people are already doing this for the PRESALE tickets for luke just has me like. okay maybe you changed your mind on tier #and maybe I gotta assume the best. but I can’t help but think how many people on these resale sites are just trying to get a bit of money #and they’re making money off someone else’s art. there’s nothing else to say. the artist should get a cut of your profits #bc for taylor or someone they have enough money. but with the music industry as it is there are so many who easily could not #or who have to overwork themselves touring back to back just to get financial security #and hopefully this doesn’t happen for most of them bc ticket scalpers tend to go for the big names #but then it just means if you’re poor you can only see the niche artists and you get left out of connecting over mainstream artists #which is another form of classist segregation this perpetrates

[gregmarriage]

i completely understand why dyeing your hair is such a trope during a manic episode, bc i wanna bleach my hair so bad rn

#idk why the urge is so strong rn #maybe it’s bc i desperately need change/ control rn and it’s something i can change/control? #either way #i’ve been told i look good blonde and i kinda wanna go back to it for a bit #but also effort™️ #i wish i could dye my hair in two seconds #especially bc i have dark hair and it takes sooooo much to dye #and i’d also have to use box stuff probably #the hairdresser i was going to closed and i don’t know any others near me #i was familiar with her!! i don’t wanna have to start all over again with someone random who might not be as nice #ughhhhhhhhh!!!! #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[chaoswithcausation]

huh, seeing posts about how fandom wiki is going bad has reminded me of my old acc on there… I kinda wanna look back at it to see—

*the friends I made and may never know again. the good times I had laughing and creating. the person I once was.*

#seeing the shells where other users—people I knew and talked to— used to be. knowing that I’ve left one too. #seeing a few familiar faces on the message boards. being reminded of the ones that left even before I did. #seeing all the new users. knowing that how old I’d seen and feel next to them. seeing old friends I’d forgotten but recognize instantly. #not saying anything. going to my personal message wall. seeing all the people I talked to there. being reminded of the one I nearly lost. #remembering how I did lose that one but in a better softer way. being reminded of the one that didn’t want to go. #remembering the one who changed so much that I wouldn’t have recognized his end by looking at his beginning. #thinking of my earliest days and not wanting to look back at those ones. not wanting to face who I started as. #recognizing myself as wholly and entirely different from who I used to be while still being the same at my core. #the parts are different but the material is the same. #casey’s causing chaos

[mrs-kelly]

There has not been a day since I first saw Charlie where I’ve seen him and not been filled with delight at his existence and there never will be, this I know for sure ❤️

#it’s funny to think. the memes of him have been around forever #and even before I watched the show I’d see him and he’d make me smile #no matter what c: #and then the first time I saw the show and heard his voice and saw his mannerisms #I was like WOAH THIS MAN #I had so much affection for him #but I was like ‘I should wait 🥺 I should wait until I watch the show and get to know him better’ #basically I was like ‘let’s be friends c:’ and in the meantime I’d see him and just look with heart eyes ahfjgkgl #for yearrrrrrrrs #so many years. so many years of seeing him and feeling in my heart that I’m crazy about him #but doing nothing about it until what. a few weeks ago #what changed? idk I was like ‘I should finally watch aIways sunny bc my husband and his brother always quote it’ #and then I just couldn’t help but fall madly in love with him #I couldn’t stop thinking about him even tho I thought that maybe it’d be a little crush #I want even gonna post about him at all like. I thought it’d pass bc I felt SO much so fast #‘so fast’ ahdjfl as if I haven’t been pining for him for years #look where we are now. he’s so important to me #I don’t ever wanna go back. I wanna stay in love with him forever #ren speaks #im gushing out here folks #renlie

[came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted]

my haaaaaands are still fucked uuuuuup but when they’re unfucked up i’m gonna draw smth so sexy and delicious for my new skyrim oc i can see the comp in my mind’s eye it’d just make my hands fall off if i tried to draw it

#he’s a liiiiiiitle bit of a serial killer so i’m envisioning him in like a white gown/robe with his hair up like in fucking. ella enchanted #in the garden with caryalind thallery but the knife behind his back is just coated in blood and there’s a pile of bodies behind him that we #can see but cary can’t see. i LOVE cary btw if you haven’t tried him as a follower highly highly recommend #vaynis is a character i didn’t think i’d get all that attached to i just wanted to try out the ancient falmer mod and then i got like. SO #attached to him immediately. he’s not actually an ancient falmer he’s just like. a non betrayed falmer who’s 23. his dad was like the #ultimate ‘i survive everything bc i’m good at hiding’ kinda guy who was a child when the snow prince died and he just fucked off into the #jerall mountains for forever basically. and another falmer (much younger) stumbled on him up there and was like ‘dude wtf if you have #immortality magic why do you live in a wizard shack in the mountains’ and he was like ‘well. i’m wicked scared all the time you see’ #so in exchange for teaching her the immortality spell he was like ‘will you have a baby with me so the falmer don’t die out’ and she was #like ‘yeah ok but i’m not raising this fucking baby. i’m leaving i’m not a mom. you won’t make me a mom’ and he was like ‘yeah sure ok’ #secretly thinking if he built her a tower she’d stay. so every day he’d build the tower bit by bit with magic and everyday she’d plan to #leave and like in a fairytale they had the ‘i’m going to leave’ ‘i know’ conversation but then vaynis was born and she actually DID leave bc #she wasn’t a mom! she told him that! but he was like shocked bc he was a moron. and so he locked vaynis in his wizard tower and only let him #out to teach him how to hunt and track and forage. and vaynis really wanted to see the world but his dad would never change. so he planned #to leave and he picked himself out a nice breton adventurer to seduce into taking him along only when his dad found out he killed the breton #and locked vaynis back in the tower. and vaynis waited and watched and planned and pretended like he was sorry. and then one day he #knifed him in his sleep. and took his shit and escaped. but auriel wasn’t super happy about that so he shipwrecked him. and ever since theb #vaynis has been pretty pathetic. he’s working on it but like. it really is kinda embarassing to watch. anyway his new scheme for glory is to #join the thalmor and he IS really pretty so this thalmor agent in solitude was like ‘hey the heir to the aldmeri dominion is also here and #we like. really need him back and with his head in the game. the nords are stupid they think you’re a altmer but like. i know a bitch whose #race is supposed to be extinct when i see one. you seduce caryalind thallery back into line and we’ll help you do whatever you wanna do to #restore the falmer. ideally it’s integrate with us.’ so vaynis obviously takes that fucking opportunity but problems arise bc caryalind #isn’t quite as seduceable as previously thought. yeah he’s flirty but he’s also looking for something serious and trying to become a better #person. so vaynis is on a journey of ‘get aldmeri prince to marry me and have his baby to achieve greatness’ when they stumble into helgen #after alduin attacks (bc as we all know i’m addicted to the ‘the prisoner dies and akatosh has to pick a new dragonborn’ narrative’ and he #) and akatosh picks vaynis honestly? to be funny. i love interpreting akatosh as a smartass it’s so funny to me #‘yeah there’s a whole world riding on this but like. wouldn’t it be kinda hilarious to see what happens?’ #alternatively maybe akatosh and auriel are one in the same. you decide #anyway becoming the dragonborn really complicates this plan like. MOST severely

[arthur-r]

tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.

#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month #in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom #if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time) #especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all #anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years???? #i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too…. #and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight #within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person #so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave #i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place #like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost #and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden???? #i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with #i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course #that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and #i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me #and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change #i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal #and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it #my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything #and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again #and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in #(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot) #anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college.. #now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here #and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you #think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave…. #i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved #because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags…. #i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Brain is braining too much me thinks

#thoughts #oni talks #oni vents #I feel like I’m being torn between 2 futures and I know one isn’t really realistic and is a thing of the past but it’s also like #not only does it feel like giving up but it also feels like I’d have to face the fact that I can’t go back and unexperience some things #that changed me as a person and I know me wanting to go down that path is me trying to go back to when I first started feeling hope for #life again (if I ever had that tbh) & it’s meant so much to me for so long and like I know that I 100% would not be able to have achieved #any of what I’ve achieved now if I hadn’t started that first path. the fact that the second one is even an option is because of the first. #I also wonder how much is on me & it compounds in the severe regret I’ve been having about some recent stuff in my life along with recurrent #realizations and nightmares of the past haunting me & just. it’s so painful I know maybe I’m being dramatic and there’s a possibility that #in the future if it will work out and I can have my cake and eat it too but I genuinely don’t know how realistic that is to achieve #I want to be able to recapture the feelings I had before but there are certain experiences that so thouroughly crushed the person I had #finally begun to build up that I don’t know if that’s truly possible & if I just have to accept that I need to change to face who I am now #I’ve been really stuck recently when it comes to getting better and I know why but I’ve also blocked out so much of it that it’s just like #hard to even work through things you just want to forget and act like they never happened because that’s easier & logically I know it doesnt #work that way but it still feels painful. I feel the weight of my mistakes on my shoulders again. & it’s been resulting in what I know is #a lot of self sabotage & I feel like I should be better than this but I’m not I feel like I’ve regressed & like it wasn’t that long ago that #I literally felt like I was a kid again it was so surreal and strange & gross & I just hate so much of what’s happened in my life but I also #know there’s a lot of good that’s come from it & so it’s hard to process all these awful things when I know if they weren’t there the stuff #that I do love wouldn’t be either. it’s really hard to hope for a future I’ve never experienced. I’ve been meeting so many new people & its #reminded me of how anxious I actually am as a person bc normally I don’t have to face that bc I am by myself or in specific scenarios I’ve #cultivated to be tolerable & i feel like I keep learning things about myself or my experiences that I just don’t want to learn or to exist #& it’s frustrating bc there’s also so much pressure not just from myself but other ppl that I want to be able to pull through & do things #I know are probably not the most realistic but then a part of me is angry at myself at being a coward & wondering if I’m just awful & broken #I’ve been trying to fight back in what ways I can and the results have (usually) been really good but they come with their own prices #I hate how easy it’s become to simultaneously prefer escapism while not feeling like things are bad enough or that there is no escapism #I hate that I keep having moments where I get things and then I just fall again & Ik I’ll get there eventually but I’ve lost so much hope #that I don’t know if it’s even possible to ever get back. the last year or so is just so many ups and downs and new things and idk #I feel so torn because this is a future I foresaw and even wanted at some point and now it feels so heavy & costly & I just feel #like I’m evil & irredeemable or smth & every time I get told the opposite a part of me immediately can’t accept it especially

[sammygender]

i’m sorry i have psychological problems because thinking too hard about tris and four from hit shit YA trilogy divergent still makes me want to sob. even tho i haven’t thought about them in like five years

#suddenly want to cry not at them but at twelve year old me #God. jesus christ. jesus fucking christ #we change and we grow up. & stuff we held most dearly in our arms becomes a subject of mockery! #but we still have a little soft spot for it deep down because we remember who we were when we liked it #& i remember who i was when the biggest part of my identity was being a divergent fan. giggling whenever someone said the number four. #obsessed with dauntless because i wanted so badly to be brave and strong and able to protect myself. the way i still do now! #the way i always will #i was so little i had so much hope :( before anything shit had happened to me yet. or actually not really not at all. but before i’d #processed most of the shit that had already happened. #i can’t believe i was real back then. when i look at kids from that age now it’s scary they seem so little and so not real but i was so #real. i felt so much. i sorta wanted to kill myself aged 11 & i really almost did aged 13 #but i was still always so full of hope. i thought i’d get older and get a romance like tris and fours. one that leaves you dead but still #ultimately loved. important. and i thought i’d be brave; excited; jumping from trains and off roofs. i always told myself i’d be the first #to jump. #i think i would; think i was right #the little version of me that had discovered for the first time that he was brave. #i’m the friend who makes the other friends do stupid shit. i like that about me. on buses i see tattoo parlours and jump and go WE SHOULD #ALL GO GET ANOTHER PIERCING! and then we do. a lot of my life is based on random moments of impulsivity. that’s really nice. #but i used to lose myself in other people’s writing; now it’s always my own. that feels so easy #just to consume. to give nothing back. feels so freeing #& i used to be free; no academic pressures or worries. the way i’d kill for that again. #oliver talks

[metagalacticx]

.

#it’s really fucking cold rn #also i’ve been sad for like a week and it’s got better sometimes but things keep happening so every time i think #im okay it’s fine… something else happens and it’s like well fuck now i have to deal with this exhausting ordeal again why do i have #to suffer so much #but it’s okay because everything happens for a reason and maybe this is the universe trying to tell me something #like keep taking your fucking meds #but also stop being so emotional and stop wearing your heart on your sleeve #but i refuse to regret thinking i was ready to be a real person again #I wasn’t ready but i refuse i simply refuse to regret believing that i was okay? #anyway it’s kind of unfair how i tried my best and january still turned out awful #like i just wanted one nice thing #but anyway this month has always been for life-changing decisions and i made one today as i do every year #so everything’s fine now #i can’t believe i’m saying this but i can’t wait to go back to work lmaooo #if i’m busy i won’t have time to cry right?? i won’t have time to dwell on stupid inconsequential things i can’t help but notice #sometimes i wish i couldn’t read wish i was illiterate i’d be so sane rn if that were the case <333 #i would feel so secure and everything would be fine <333 #anyway i’m thinking about morey because they are the only thing worth thinking about atm and they’re everything to me also 💖💖 #morey supremacy i wish the teen wolf movie weren’t real skdjdjdj #STAND BEHIND ME COREY 💖💖 i won’t let them hurt youuu 💖💖

[sturmxundxdrang]

.

#shutthehellupvamp #ok listen i was going through some of the old pages in this blog #i was 17 when i made this one and left the other one behind for good #at 17 i had no idea i’d be where i’m at today #like dude i am a LAWYER‚ 17yo me would have never thought this would be happening for real #i just got back from court #i won a case for a client #wearing a lip ring and with hand tattoos #17yo me would look at 24yo me and want to be just like that #and this is who i am now what the fuck when did i become an adult lmao #i’m looking back these past few days specially bc where i’m at today #and i’m just mindblown #client messaged me to thank me and it kind of hit me #anyway when i made this blog i was not in a good place mentally #things changed so much‚ i got better and im learning that this is something i truly like doing #but yeah just a little rant about how things change #if i was able to get out of that hole i was in and become a fucking lawyer then there’s nothing i cannot do as long as try #which is also a message and a lesson to myself to fucking try things

[gregmarriage]

truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐

#it’s literally been like five years and i still wake up sometimes like ‘oh god i didn’t say goodnight! oh god i didn’t reply back to that #person’s message!’ when said person doesn’t care one bit #it’s just cause that relationship was so crazy that it made ME crazy and i’m beginning to realise that yeah i still carry some shit from it #literally that relationship is the entire reason i’ve been single all this time and why i’m trying to be emotionally mature etc #bc that relationship ending gave me a smack around the head that said something needs to change’ #bc the way i was before is the reason i was in that relationship and in that situation in the first place #and that relationship ending and trauma and shit separate from that made me get really romance repulsed for a while #still am sometimes tbh #pretty much permanently in a state of ‘yeah i need look after myself’ for the last five years #and idk when that would open up to me being in a new relationship #idk i really just need to not rush anything with anyone and just take things slow and see where they go #have fun in the meantime #bc my past few relationships have been really intense #especially the last one as i said #and i fully don’t have the time or energy for anything hardcore currently #so if there’s anyone at some point they must be prepared to wait for em and court me like we’re victorian lovers #you must wait three years untill we kiss for the first time bc i truly don’t know the timeframe for when i’d wanna do anything i’ll be #honest imaooooo #but yeah romance is a complicated subject for me #i’m literally a hopeless romantic but the thought of romance lately truly just makes me feel gross #like in theory yeah i wanna kiss someone but in actual practice i’m like get away from me! #idk i’m on the road to bulilding healthy relationships #romantic especially bc i really can’t go back to how i used to be #sorry to disappoint anyone imaoooo #but nah anyways people who want to get close to me and be my friend has to be cool with my boundaries i set up #and sometimes forget about even tho they’re my own boundaries bc i’m silly like that #could do casual stuff but i really don’t think i’m the type for that imao #and even that sets off the same alarms in my head so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[chryzure-archive]

ohhhh, i have a good url, but do i want to change any of my blog urls???

#i don’t want to change my main because chroniczombiegf is my Brand #if i had to be humiliated at a b&n over it then i have to stand by it #and i don’t want to make a new blog because like. i’d just be making it for the sake of making it. #i also saved the chryzure url but i doubt anyone was going to take that from me LOL #hmmmmmmmmmmm………. okay i MIGHT change my oc blog url. i’ll see how i feel tomorrow morning. #memorie.txt #also i might want to rebrand back to thornyroses again.. after fixing all my links and everything RIP #but i miss despair so very much and i liked thinking of him

[spandexbutterfly4lyfe]

Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!

The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.

This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.

Here is a short and easy video showing this in action

The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.

You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.

If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!

I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.

If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!

#migraines #migraine symptoms #disability #disability stuff #disability pride

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear #just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he won’t see this #but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and don’t wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone #anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didn’t know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride #with bestie back to my mom’s place if it was gonna be a while but then they said it’d only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was #actually something wrong with my car in which case we’d just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell #him that and say he doesn’t have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if he’s busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if #I’m hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadn’t eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru #I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says ‘oh hell no’ which was honestly adorable and #really sweet. goes on to say ‘girl you know you don’t need to worry about money’ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and #wiggly inside cause I’m not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and he’s always doing that kind #of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but #yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was #ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by #little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he #usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real they’re so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he #even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so I’ll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in #my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all #this man deserves the whole fucking world and I’d do anything for him. love him so much #so ye that’s my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out #personal

[arthur-r]

arthur fact as of today. high school graduate. not doing that whole thing anymore

#i won’t be walking at graduation so this is it for me #keep trying to say something about this and then i talk myself into a panic attack #so i’m gonna just step back and say yeah i’m done with that now #don’t understand how i’m the only person in the whole school who is freaking out about this #but here i am #everyone is staying in minnesota except for me and two other friends #and one of them is going to the same school as i am and the other one is going to canada #so everything changes now forever and i just don’t know how to feel #but hey. things are going to be good. i’ll be over by chicago that’s exciting #and i already changed my name in the system a couple days ago. kind of risky but i don’t want to keep putting it off #i figure i have friends i can move in with this summer if my parents find out and it goes over really badly #and otherwise they have to confront it sooner or later and i’d rather now than college graduation in four years #so anyway things will be good there hopefully. and high school has been bad enough that i should be happy #i dont know. things really got better just in time to go away forever #i’m gonna go to bed but everything is really strange and i’m officially out of there #so this is as much closure as i get #idk. i have a whole summer before everything changes entirely. everything will be okay #anyway gonna log off of tumblr. but yeah. this is where i’m at #me. my post. mine. #delete later #friends only