#I wrote this like 2 and a half years ago and yet its still relevant because of how powerful I am

[sillyhubris]

Alberto Caeiro And I In Heaven

Dying is me walking up the hill to Caeiro’s whitewashed house, the solitary one

And my boots don’t make any noise,

And the grass on his hilltop is grazed all short by a whole flock of metaphors

I don’t have to hold tight or right or tense any more. I make pies for Caeiro and I leave them to cool in the morning on our windowsill in the sighing breezes.

Each night before bed I step outside the porchlight’s half circle to take a breath of the air, to greet the evening comet and the new planets passing by

Caeiro stands beside me and he is dead too. We are both silent and peaceful and dead, and the earth and the wind and the cricket sounds are around us, and there is grass in quiet, unceasing motion

We go back into the solid white glow and we drink ewe’s milk from a pair of brown mugs. I ask Caeiro what we will do tomorrow

He says we will go outside and just look around and notice things and not think of anything at all

I say that will be nice.

Then, in the cool dark, it is time for rest.

#personal #I wrote this like 2 and a half years ago and yet its still relevant because of how powerful I am #and also because I haven’t been creative since then so I haven’t created anything new to express the alberto Caeiro and I in heaven feeling. #caeiro

[rhysismydaddy]

Unholy Matrimony Pt. 1 (Nessian)

Nesta’s part of the Damnation Series.

OOF this took so long sorry. I rewrote it, changed it, then deleted it entirely about 9 times. I literally started writing the version before you, from scratch, on Sunday. All parts are linked below, so I’m only tagging people on this version! To go to the next chapter, there is also a link at the bottom <3

ALSO, an important caviat: Nesta is an only child in this one! I originally wrote it for her to be adopted and not know it, but it wasn’t really relevant to the story, so... idk. Just ignore that plot hole I guess.

Parts 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 -- pls like each part I’m insecure

______________________________________________

~Cassian~

“You’re getting married.”

The glass of bourbon halfway to my mouth pauses, because despite being known for being rash and unpredictable, even I’m surprised by the sudden change in conversation.

My eyebrows raise as I look over at Rhysand, my best friend and Capo, trying to figure out if this bastard is serious. His tone says he is, but that doesn’t make sense, because before a few seconds ago, the word “marriage” was in neither of our vocabularies.

He’s been single for as long as I have, although I’m starting to suspect he’s got a bird in the city. He’s too damn happy these days, and the other day I saw him laugh at something on his phone.

Which is weird, because we both know long-term commitments don’t really do well with our lifestyle.

We were raised to not give a shit about anything except the job. We kill without remorse, live in the shadows, and whatever other shitty euphemism you want to use. Settling down in some suburban, picket-fence prison has absolutely no appeal to Made Men.

Don’t get me wrong, most of us get married at some point. But never for love.

Some men choose a bride that’s pretty and sweet. Someone who will donate to charity and help clean up their image. Governors’ daughters, women from old-money families, and social princesses make up this category.

Some men marry to advance their station in the Family. Second sons who will never inherit the business marry daughters of Underbosses to get a nice boost to their status.

And then there’s the ones who are forced to marry by their capo--ie. me-- so they choose whatever attractive woman that’s in the Family and available. Those are always the happiest.

But regardless of the reasoning, marriage in the mafia is heartless, political, and for me, unnecessary.

I know I’ll have to pick someone eventually, but there aren’t a whole lot of desirable options at the moment. Not many of the other Underbosses have daughters that are over the age of fifteen right now, and I have no interest in doing the child-bride thing.

Plus, there’s no way I’d marry someone outside of the family. At my rank, it isn’t an option.

That leaves... a widow?

The only one I know is Ianthe, and considering I highly suspect she killed her last husband and the fact that she’s crazy, there’s no way in hell I’d legally bind myself to her for life.

So he must be joking.

I take a pull from my cigar and look over at Rhys with narrowed eyes. “Uh huh. Sure. To who, exactly?”

“Volchonok.”

The Wolf Cub.

The cigar snaps in my fingers.

“You’re fucking kidding,” I say, honestly hoping that’s the case. He’s either that or insane, and I’d hate to lock someone who’s like a brother to me in a padded room.

Rhysand’s unflinching gaze doesn’t change, but his tone morphs from that of my friend to my boss. “You will marry her, Cassian.”

“She’s a fucking Russian,” I spit, not understanding. That should be reason enough for him to be joking.

In our world, being Russian is a crime similar to stabbing the Pope.

We’ve been at war over New York with them ever since they decided to try and get a stronghold on the east coast, and I’ve killed more of them than I can fucking count. Now I’m marrying one?

“Yes, she is, and so is her father, Alexei Olov.” Aka the Bratva Boss responsible for blowing up half of St. Petersburg last year when the local police refused to buy his weapons. “You will marry her, move to New York full time, and run the city with her by your side.”

“Why? Two or three more years, and we’ll have the city anyway.” Every day the Russians get weaker, and I’ve been responsible for pushing them out of my city block by block.

So there has to be a reason we’re suddenly okay with the enemy.

Rhysand sighs. “It was his idea, not mine. Orlov has agreed to sell our coke in Moscow and Seattle instead of his usual dealer and will supply us all the weapons we need for five years. There will also be no more midnight raids, bullshit arrests on bullshit charges, or missing shipments. He’s offering you a dowry, too.”

I don’t need his money, but the old fashioned term makes me laugh.

“Yeah? And how much does he think his wolf cub is worth?”

His lips twitch. “Ten million.”

“She must be a real pain in the ass, then, if he’s going to pay me that much to take her,” I chuckle.

Not that ten million dollars is anything but pocket change for the man. Orlov may be losing the fight in New York, but the bastard is richer than sin. 

Selling arms to half of the entire world will do that to a person.

“I hear she’s beautiful,” he says, trying to tempt me to not fight him.

“Then you marry her,” I shoot back, not ready to give up the argument.

“I don’t feel like it.” Fucking typical. Rhysand sighs. “You and I both know we can work this deal to our advantage, so what will make you say yes?”

He could order to me to say yes and I’d have to, but he hates enforcing that kind of authority with me.

So I think it over, make a show of lighting a new cigar. “I want Sera.”

It’s a burlesque club in New York I’ve always been a little envious of, owned by Orlov and operated by his men. I’d tried to buy it a few years back but hadn’t had enough leverage on the Russian to strongarm him into selling.

Now I do.

Rhysand--the only one who knows about my failed attempt to buy the place--nods and tells me he’ll make it happen.

“When’s all this happening, anyway?”

He looks like he might laugh. “Wedding is in a month, but she’s flying in tomorrow night.”

A quick laugh forces its way out of me. Also typical of him to give me absolutely no time to change my mind.

Well, I have a month. That’s already longer than any relationship I’ve ever had. 

Sighing, I stand and shake his hand, cementing the deal before I can even lament the loss of my bachelorhood.

~Nesta~

“Chto sluchilos?”

I slide my gaze to my father, because seriously, that’s the stupidest fucking question I’ve ever heard. 

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Everything.

“Nichego,” I lie, assuring him for what feels like the tenth time as I look out the window. The plane picks up speed and lifts off, taking me towards an uncertain future, an uncertain place.

I might have told him nothing’s wrong, but inside, I’m screaming.

Three days ago, I woke up to find a marriage contract on the pillow beside me. There was a blank space where my name had been typed and a pen waiting for me to remedy that.

I still haven’t.

I’m not signing anything until I meet this... Cassian. 

God, what an Italian name.

An image springs to mind, one of a slumped-over, hairy-chest beast with slicked back hair and a gold chain. 

I know it’s stereotypical and hopefully incorrect, but I’ve never been to Italy and Alexei strictly forbids me watching movies that portray Italians as anything except revolting. 

But looks aside, there’s one thing I don’t need to guess to know. 

My future husband will be like all the other men in my life: controlling.

Men in the world I live in take what they want, don’t ask for permission, and feel like they’re entitled to anything and everything. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, so it’s more amusing than anything at this point.

I guess I’m a bit non-traditional in that sense, considering most of the women around me have no problems taking orders from their fathers or husbands. But Alexei and I figured out pretty early in life that wasn’t going to work for me.

As he frequently likes to tell me, I started telling him to fuck off when I was five.

What did he expect? All the kids I hung out with were the opposite sex and at least five years older than me, so my vocabulary and mannerisms became pretty... colorful early on.

Regardless, I’m just not looking forward to having to deal with yet another man who thinks he can control me.

“Ty vresh',” Alexei accuses, lips twitching. You’re lying. 

“Konechno.” Of course. 

Of course I’m upset, but I understand what’s happening. I might have found out about it three days ago, but I’ve known it was coming for far longer.

As the only child of the great Alexei Orlov, Wolf of Moscow and Pakhan of the Russian Bratva, I’ve been told my entire life that I will one day be used as a pawn to gain more power.

It would--should--piss me off, but I’ve also been told I’m to one day take my father’s place and run his company.

So by gaining more power for him, I’m also doing the same for myself.

Not that I really give a shit about that kind of thing. I started officially working for Alexei years ago, and I already have enough money saved to never have to work again. 

But in the Bratva, there’s no getting out. I was put in this world by birth, and the only thing that will take me out is death. 

In case it isn’t obvious, I’m not a typical business woman. 

My father is an arms-dealer. 

A less than legal one, if you believe the heinous lies the media spreads about him.

He sells weapons to governments, private armies, and whoever the fuck else has the money to buy. 

He’s also built himself a shipping empire to haul said weapons around the globe, runs the drugs and prostitute rings in Moscow, and has enough real estate to rival most small countries.

It probably sounds like I don’t care, and that’s because I don’t. 

I like what I do in the sense that I have a mind for business. I went to business school and graduated at the top of my class, and I enjoy running the clubs and hotels I have. Trained by Alexei himself, I’m ruthless in negotiations, enough so that people started calling me the Wolf Cub by the time I was twenty. 

But despite being good at it, I’m not particularly fond of the aspect most people think of when they picture my career in the Bratva. I detest drugs, have never hired a prostitute, and don’t really enjoy selling arms to bad people. 

The alleyway meetups, the broken bones and bullet holes, and the blown up houses are all a little tiring to me.

Sure, it sounds exciting. And for a while, it was. I used to lose myself in the chaos, used to enjoy coming home with busted knuckles. But I honestly just got tired of it.

Right now, I don’t have to deal with it as much because Alexei’s still alive. But when he dies and I officially take over the family business, I’ll have to be more involved. Even if the thought makes me want to sigh.

I pull out my laptop and look over the financial report for Sera, my newest club in New York. As predicted, everything’s running smoothly. 

I turn the laptop around to show my father, grinning when he pulls out his reading glasses and leans closer. 

“Starik,” I tease. Old man. 

He flicks my forehead, then reads the report and nods. Then he turns to his phone, probably playing Angry Birds or some shit, and leaves me to work.

The plane ride goes by quickly, and by the time we’ve landed in Chicago, I’ve gotten ahead on my schedule for next week, slept, and changed into what I’ve chosen as the “meeting my future husband” dress.

It’s simple and sleek, the black material clinging to my curves without being obscene. It’s long enough to hide the holster on my thigh, not that I feel in any danger with four personal guards stationed near me at all times.

My heels click as I make my way down the plane stairs and across the tarmac to the waiting sedan, and once my luggage and belongings are unloaded, we head to the Italian Capo’s house.

We’re meeting here, finalizing the contract, and then Cassian and I are flying to New York. 

My new home.

“Try to look happy,” Alexei tells me, his heavily accented English almost ridiculous to hear. He speaks English only when he’s in the states, and considering he hasn’t come here since I graduated B school two years ago, he’s a little out of practice.

“I’m ecstatic,” I say, intentionally using a word I know he doesn’t understand.

His eyes narrow, because it isn’t the first time I’ve used this trick, but he doesn’t call me out on it. We continue to ride in ecstatic silence, eventually pulling up in front of the Capo’s... house.

It’s almost obscene to call it that, considering it’s fucking huge. Like obnoxiously huge.

I heave a sigh, step out of the car, and take in my surroundings. The neighborhood’s quiet, likely filled with friends of the Cosa Nostra too scared to make any noise. 

A butler--seriously, a butler--opens the door and welcomes us inside, and as soon as I step in, I have to repress the urge to roll my eyes.

The amount of dirty money in the air is suffocating. It drips off the vaulted ceilings, down the artwork on the walls, across the marble floors. It’s in the little details of the crystal chandeliers and the mahogany staircase. 

Ridiculous.

One look at Alexei’s disgusted face says he’s thinking the same thing.

Don’t get me wrong, we’re rich. Grossly so. Alexei could have ten houses just like this, if he wanted them.

But he doesn’t. He owns property all over the world, but most of it is commercial or apartment complexes--property that makes him money, in other words. This, however, is a massive waste of capital. 

The butler leads us further through the house and into an office where four men wait. 

One is immediately identifiable as their lawyer, his over-priced cologne making me have to resist the urge to sneeze. The humongous man in the corner is hired muscle, if the boxy shape of the guns under his jacket is any indication.

The man behind the desk is obviously in charge, so I’m guessing he’s the Capo. Rhysand or Rhyland or something weird like that. He takes me in silently, bright eyes not seeming to miss any details. 

That leaves the man leaning against the desk to be Cassian Azara.

My fiancé. 

Our eyes meet, his golden gaze beautiful and wild, and I have to remember to keep my expression bored. 

Because the stereotype, the horrible image I’d conjured up in my mind, couldn’t be further from the truth.

For one, he isn’t hunched-over. He stands tall, leaning a hip against his Capo’s desk with obvious confidence. But I see more than just self-assuredness in his eyes. He seems a little too rough around the edges, wild gaze almost like he’s daring someone to swing at him. 

If the confidence didn’t already make him attractive, his looks sure as hell get the job done.

His hairs long and dark and curly, half of it pulled up in a rouge manner that clashes with the suit he’s filling. He has a few days’ stubble, too, like standing still long enough to shave just isn’t an option. 

His shoulders are impossibly wide, narrowing down to trim hips and legs long enough to make him tower over everyone in the room. 

His knuckles are tattooed and split open, and there’s a cut above his eyebrow that tells me I was correct to assume he’s a fighter by nature. 

Usually, that would be a deterrent for me, but there’s something about the way he’s dressed in a dark suit jacket and crisp white shirt while also looking so untamed that has me cocking my head to study him some more. 

He studies me, too, beautiful eyes taking in the long blonde hair and bright blue eyes offset by pale skin. He looks at the dress like he can see everything underneath, and I have the strangest urge to blush. Jesus, he’s toxic.

He’s attractive, is what I’m getting at.

Which is not what I had planned on, considering I’d been trying to think of a plan on how to not sleep with him, but suddenly that’s all my mind can focus on.

His lips twitch like he knows what I’m thinking, and I realize we’ve just been standing here staring at each other for a bit too long.

So I turn back to Alexei and shrug like I’ve seen what my future husband has to offer and aren’t impressed in the slightest. 

I toss the marriage contract on the desk, grab the Capo’s fancy little fountain pen out of his hand, and sign my name on the blank above my name. 

Cassian watches, but I ignore him entirely until the ink has dried. Then I look up at him through my lashes and wink, turn on my heel, and leave the room.

~Cassian~

I think I’m in love.

Fuck.

She hasn’t said a single goddamn word, but the way she looked at me has me feeling itchy all over, anticipation and nerves rolling through me. I feel like I feel before I fight or something exciting happens.

Like I’m primed and ready and need it to happen now. 

Nesta Orlov, my bride to be, is nothing like I expected. 

I was fully braced for some meek little woman, similar to most of my friends’ wives, to come in and smile and say hello. 

But nope. Nesta didn’t smile; she came in like she was walking onto a battlefield. 

And she didn’t smile. She looked me over, clinical blue gaze noticing too much, and left me feeling winded. God, she’s beautiful. Just looking at her made me hot.

She also didn’t say hello. 

Just signed the contract and left, like this was nothing more to her than a boring business deal. I mean, that’s what it is, but... I don’t know, I expected more of a reaction. 

I’ve heard from some Underbosses that their wives cried or raged when they were forced to sign, but shit if that were the case with Nesta. She honest to God looked like she didn’t care.

Alexei, on the other hand, does look a little pissed about the situation, but I couldn’t care less of the old man’s opinion. He’s signed the contract, so to me, he’s irrelevant. Regardless, he and Rhys proceed to iron out some of the details about the wedding and other shit I’m not paying attention to.

Then they shake hands, and the Russian warlord turns to leave. 

He reaches the door and looks over his shoulder at me, and there’s amusement in his cold gaze as he mutters, “Udachi.” Good luck. 

As soon as he’s gone, Roman and the lawyer follow, leaving me alone with Rhys. 

He slides the contract to me, and I sign my name next to hers, making this shit official. 

“This should be interesting,” he comments, vague as usual. 

I sigh, because I have a feeling interesting isn’t going to cover it. 

_____________________________________________________

NEXT CHAPTER

Tags: @elorcan-trash @januarystears @emikadreams @sjm-things @santas-dwynwen @thebitchupstairs @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @a-bit-of-a-cactus @elriel4life @girl-who-reads-the-books @shinya-hiiragi @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ireallyshouldsleeprn @highqueenofelfhame @rowaelinismyotp @nahthanks @ghostlyrose2 @lovemollywho @tillyrubes10 @claralady @tswaney17 @rowanisahunk @superspiritfestival @thegoddessofyou @awesomelena555 @booksofthemoon @greerlunna @jlinez @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @masstrash @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

#nessian #nessian fanfiction #acosf countdown #acosf #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acosf fanfiction #a court of mist and fury

[orangedodge]

@dannybagpipesarecalling​ replied to your text post:

I didn't realize those were Destiny's diaries either. If you would be so kind, can you explain how Emma knows? Unfortunately I haven't read enough comics to know this backstory.

I am glad you asked about this, because it gives me an excuse to post about it while hopefully not sounding like a conspiracy blog. I've been slightly obsessed with this idea since Emma first turned up in House of X, so I'm rather excited that “maybe Destiny's Diaries still exist” isn't just my weird crack canon any longer.

Emma was, in short, the last person who can be established to have control over the whereabouts of the diaries. And as one of the top five telepaths in the world, who has expressly defended that secret from the likes of Exodus and Mr. Sinister, she is capable of preventing Professor X from just taking the information from her. So barring new retcons, if Moira has the diaries now, they had to have been obtained directly from Emma.

That's not enough to say that she turned them over to Moira specifically. She could have given them to Charles or Er—okay, no, she wouldn't give them to Charles. There could be a circumstance where she'd trust them to Erik though. But in that contingency, I think there's enough context to support Emma knowing why they'd want them and for who. To be clear though, I would be less confident about making that assertion if Emma hadn't just opened the “Dr. Moira MacTaggert Memorial Public Hospital” expressly to freak out Charles and Erik, and if HoxPox hadn't already linked them by showing Moira to be worried about what Emma was up to.

(This got kind of long so I thought it'd be helpful to say the important part up front before spiraling down the continuity rabbit hole)

The origins and resulting chain of custody for Destiny's Diaries are as follows: One January, decades ago, Destiny began recording visions of the future in a series of diaries. Filling one book per month, she continued writing for thirteen months. This process was described as auto-writing, and Destiny herself did not have a complete memory of what she had written, nor did she understand the meaning of much of what she wrote.

Nonetheless, the July diary contained a recording of the events leading up to the defeat of Apocalypse, and another diary contained information on the life of Hope Summers, so they've been very relevant to the events of the modern era. It's not explicit yet that Krakoa's founding is also in the diaries, but because we know Destiny had at least one separate vision of Krakoa, and because Moira is interested in reading them, it seems fairly likely that whatever Moira, Charles, and Erik have been doing behind the scenes is also in there.

In the decades since Destiny authored them, most of these diaries were lost, except for five that Mystique kept hold of, and a sixth that Irene hid away herself. After Mystique killed 'Moira,' she sent her five diaries to Professor X, hoping that the temptation of using them would consume his life and lead him toward a ruinous fate. Destiny meanwhile had entrusted the sixth diary to Shadowcat (who Destiny met in 1936, while she was time traveling and having an affair with Moira's grandfather don't worry about it), who eventually became so freaked out by something she read in it that she vanished on a mission, let her friends believe her dead for weeks, and had herself deleted from Cerebro, while leaving the diary to Rogue for safekeeping while she was away.

(That last chain of events isn't incredibly important, I just think it becomes kind of lol in light of current canon)

Rogue went on to take that diary and the research that had been done on it to Storm. Storm and Rogue then formed a splinter team of X-Men, to journey the world searching for the lost diaries, believing Professor X could not be trusted. Along the way a seventh book turned up with a treasure hunter named Vargas (don't worry about him), and an eighth was found by Gateway and given to Rogue in a dream. Eventually Storm tried to get Phoenix to collect Professor X's diaries for her, but they discovered that they had already been stolen (Shadowcat did it).

The rest of the diary hunt isn't really important, just that Kitty eventually ended up retrieving the full set, before she rejoined the X-Men, which only happened after Xavier had left Scott and Emma to run the school. This timeline is important for establishing that Xavier has never possessed the full set of diaries himself, and was not involved in collecting the lost books at any point, nor was he present at the time the diaries were brought to the school and fell under Emma's protection. This rules out the possibility that the set of diaries we've previously seen were somehow forged by Xavier.

Xavier would not return to the school until after losing his mutant powers, whereupon he departed for space on an adventure to another galaxy. He was unavailable, therefore, to have undertaken any telepathic shenanigans, so what happens next actually happened, and is not a psychic illusion. While Xavier was gone, Mr. Sinister recruited Exodus and Mystique, and began a campaign of hunting down precognitive psychics, time travelers, and any other sources of information on the future. Scott, Emma, and Kitty meanwhile predicted that they were going to be next, and came up with a bananas plan to keep the books safe.

X-Men volume 2 no. 203 by Mike Carey (Writer), Humberto Ramos (Penciler), Carlos Cuevas (Inker), Studio F’s Edgar Delgado (Colorist), Virtual Calligraphy’s Cory Petit (Letterer), Will Panzo (Assistant Editor), Nick Lowe (Editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

First they hid the diaries somewhere in parts unknown. Emma then altered the minds of “all of us” (everyone who lived at the mansion at that time) to perceive a bunch of decoy books as the real thing. She then erased Kitty's memory, and her own, so that no telepath would be able to extract the information by force, before they gave each other a series of post-hypnotic triggers so they could restore one another's memories if they ever needed the books again. When eventually Exodus attacked the school looking for the books, they restored their memories, and decided to send another team to the hidden location where they'd buried a mystery box. Emma gave this location to Sam and Bobby, who dug up the box, which was never opened, and which was destroyed by Gambit during a firefight with Sinister's forces before anyone could confirm its contents.

This was intended by author Mike Carey to be the end of Destiny's Diaries, a dropped plot from a previous creative run, that was vaguely useful at building up to the Messiah Complex crossover, but was a lot more trouble than it was worth to an author who was writing about the X-Men trying to avert a bad future. But there's a lot of room in the story he wrote for the diaries to have survived after all.

I think it's actually really suspicious that the box was accessible to Bobby and Sam at all. Why not drop it under a mountain? Why not bury it under the ocean? Why not keep it phased in a tree? And it's a big red box with a big red 'X' on it. I know the X-Men love their branding and all, but that's going pretty far.

No one actually opens the box before Gambit blows it up either. It could have contained more decoys, or nothing at all. 

And when talking among themselves, Emma and Kitty never actually say that they're sending the X-Men to retrieve the diaries. They say that they know where the diaries are, and then send the X-Men to a place where they've buried something. The intent of the author is clear, but there's room in the dialogue for a later writer to decide that this just was another plan to keep the books hidden.

So for the entire period of time between assembling the complete collection of thirteen diaries, and their seeming destruction, they are never unaccounted for. Only Emma and Kitty knew the full extent of what they did to hide them, and where they were hidden. If fakes were destroyed instead of the real thing, no one would have known.

We could just be in retcon territory, but I don't think so, because it's fine on its own without any direct changes to canon. And really, faking the destruction of the books to cover up their real location makes a lot more sense than believing Emma Frost actually sent Sam to retrieve the incredibly suspicious looking red box that contained the most important object in the world, while half the super villains on the planet were chasing him.

Believing the diaries weren't really destroyed just requires the reader to accept that Emma would lie to the other X-Men, and keep lying to them for years, and that she'd be willing to put Sam and Bobby's lives at risk to protect that lie. Which she was already doing in that story anyway. She was already lying to everyone when she changed everyone's memories. And she—and Scott and Kitty—was already fine with risking everyone's lives when setting up a decoy trap in a school. So that's why I think this works better as a continuation of the existing, known, story of the diaries, and not a direct retcon to what happened.

In conclusion I think Emma knows about Moira because Moira got the diaries from somewhere, and Emma is the person she could have gotten them from. Nothing proves a direct hand-off in, like, a formal standard of proof or anything, but Emma having access to the diaries for so long, and having been wrapped up in this whole weird plot thread—which involves Moira and most of the Quiet Council—is enough to imply the connection in a story sense.

(ETA - For completion’s sake, there is also a weird story I didn’t go into called Chaos War that was published in 2011 where Moira is resurrected and finds a book in the ruins of the Xavier School that may or may not be one of the diaries, and touching it causes her soul to merge with Destiny’s, who then possesses her and guides her through a quest to destroy an evil god. This was an odd story to place in continuity at the time, and has only gotten stranger, given  1. that couldn’t be the real Moira, 2. Destiny is not merged with her soul. If this is in continuity (it’s been suggested that Moira’s golem was the character in this event), and all of the characters are who they say they are, and if the book in question was actually one of the thirteen diaries (and not some other book that Irene also wrote), then it requires Emma to have deliberately left one of the thirteen books behind for “Moira” to find, which if anything only adds to the likelihood that she knows what’s up)

#x-men #comics #marvel #wednesday spoilers #long post

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise

Pleasantly surprised to be in one of these, so let’s go

Favorite series: *Gestures to icon* Is it any surprise I’ll be picking GX? I love GX with all my heart and soul. The story’s pacing is very good and never feels like it’s dragging its feet to get to where it’s going, most duels are over in less than a full episode with the longest one being three, there are so many good characters to get invested in, and this boy right here is your protagonist.

Look at him blow kisses to the audience after beating Crowler, how could anyone not love Jaden Yuki? I care him so much. Even the filler episodes in GX are pretty fun to watch most of the time, and it’s the good kind of filler that may not advance the plot much or at all, but it’ll give you plenty of good memories to take with you. Who could possibly forget the eggwich thief? Not to mention the soundtrack fucking slaps.

Favorite protagonist: I mean...

Yeah it’s Jaden. GX hooked me immediately when I started watching it because of how much I loved this boy. He’s that perfect mix of cocky and sweet when it comes to dueling because he’s confident in his own abilities, but he never stops having fun and being amazed at what his opponent can do, he cares about all of his friends and does his best to help them with their problems, he’s kind to strangers, and he has exactly half a brain cell. 

I feel the gif speaks for itself, but Jaden’s dialogue when he turns around here is “I’m such a sucker for things like this! I’ll help you, ma’am!” Dorothy says “No, you’ll be late... Don’t you have a test today?” And Jaden replies with “Who cares if I’m late? I couldn’t leave a lady in trouble!” Jaden Yuki is my absolute favorite protagonist.

Favorite rival: Oh man is that a tough one. Am I allowed to pick two? It’s a hard call to make between this dumb edgy bitch-

And this dumb gay bitch

Honestly they’re tied for favorite rival in my book. I absolutely loved Chazz when I watched GX, and I thought his arc about breaking through his inferiority/superiority complex and learning to accept loss as a part of life without letting it define him was wonderfully written, and seeing him grow as a person throughout the show just made me feel happy for him. Shark... I really thought I wasn’t going to end up liking Shark at first, but god he just gets so much better as Zexal goes on, starting out as this mean spirited middle school bully in episode one, and slowly ending up as Yuma’s boyfriend closest friend. It’s incredible to look back at how Shark acts when he’s first introduced and compare it to... season 3, I think it was, where just hearing the words “Yuma’s in danger” is enough to send him running to his rival’s side. Chazz and Shark. They are my favorites.

Favorite BFF: Him

Crow Hogan is an absolute treasure and he was my favorite part about watching 5Ds. This little bird man first gets introduced by stealing cards for his kids and clowning on Sector Security, and he’s a source of so much good throughout the show. Excellent best friend (technically brother but I’m counting him), wonderful father, 10/10 person all around. Plus the fact that the only thing stopping him from berating his bitchass brother even more was Yusei having to literally pick him up and pull him away is definitely extra points in my book. What a powerful little bird. His only weakness is people that are taller than him, which is unfortunately most people.

Favorite GFF:

Yuzu. Have I actually watched Arc V yet? No, but I’m still picking Yuzu for my number one here. Tea and Tori are just awful characters, I’m neutral towards Alexis, and Akiza... Did have potential to be something interesting on her own, despite how uncomfortable she made me in seasons 1-2 of 5Ds, but her relevance is alllll downhill from there. I’ve seen one clip of Yuzu yelling at a man eating pie and calling him a 100th rate duelist, and that was all I needed to know she would be my favorite. (Clip here) 

Favorite villain: Oh boy

The fuckin carrot is my favorite villain, and I say this as someone who fully believes he didn’t deserve to be in the last episode. Vector did some fucked up shit in his day, and he only continued to do fucked up shit in Yuma’s day, but I have to say he was pretty effective when it came down to his goals. He got things done and went right for what he wanted by taking direct action to seize Don Thousand’s power, and he manipulated Yuma perfectly by preying on his kind nature and love for Astral to use him to further his goals. 

...Plus I mean just look at his subbed dialogue God he’s such a slut. Evil slutty alien.

Tl;dr Vector was a horrible horrible person, but he was a good villain, and he was so entertaining whenever he was on screen that it was impossible not to like him. Still kinda wish he got what he deserved though, and what he deserved definitely wasn’t another chance.

Speaking of Don Thousand though, can we talk about how unfairly pretty he is? If I had to pick a runner up villain in terms of looks alone, it would definitely be him.

God it was not fair how pretty the big bad of Zexal was. He’s fucking gorgeous, and in my opinion, the best looking villain at the very least.

Favorite card: *Sweats in Duel Links* Favorite? There’s so many cards out there to pick from, but since I’ve already broken the rules with my two favorite rivals, I’ll be picking two of each card type: Spells, traps, and monsters. One for the aesthetic, and one for how often I make use of it.

First up, the Aesthetics group

What can I say, Vampiric Koala is such a cutie, Dwimmered Path has some really pretty card art, and Rainbow Life is an eternal flex on any heteros I may encounter while playing Duel Links. Nothing better than a gay trap card.

Now for usability

Dragon Knight of Creation is suuuper helpful in any dragon themed deck and has a permanent slot in my decks for Mokuba and Kaiba, PoG is always a fun way to boost up weak monsters to ridiculous heights, and Dark Bribe just lets you block your opponent like “Okay I know you wanna hurt me but I will let you draw another card if you do not do that thing”, and they can’t refuse you.

Favorite episode: I’ll be copying cipher’s format here and picking one for each series, but this will still only total out to five for me since I’ve yet to watch past Zexal ^^; Soon I’ll get to Arc V! One day...

Season 0: Episode 16:  Turnabout by a Hair's Breadth - The White-Robed Crisis I’m a sucker for my son Joey, and this was a good Joey episode about him and his sister, plus it was nice seeing that doctor get what he deserved :) Duel Monsters: Season 5, episode 12-14:  The Deciding Match for Duel King - Yugi vs. Leon/Golden Castle of Stromberg/KC Grand Prix Ends  Probably a weird batch of episodes to pick, I know, but a lot of DM was kinda forgettable to me, and these are some of the few episodes I do recall. I just... really felt for Leon’s situation, and I wanted good things for that boy. I care him. GX: Season 3, episode 34: Dark Fusion! Inferno Wing!! Jim. Jim Jim Jimmmmm. This was the episode that finally made me understand why saviorshipping was a thing because it hits you with all these memories Jim has of Jaden and shows how they bonded before all this Dark World shit happened, and the whole thing was very emotional. 5Ds: Season 4, episode 2-3:  Recollections, Entrusted with a Friend's Dying Wish God Crow, my precious bird son. I really liked the backstory they gave him, despite how much it hurt. It was probably the best character development he got in the whole of 5Ds, and let you see a side to him you probably wouldn’t expect. I loved watching him get his justice. Zexal II: Season 2, episode 5-6:  Alito the Silent Fighter - Reunion of the Passionate Duelists!/ Be Revived! The Duelist Soul That Transcends Life!! I picked these episodes for Nistro and Nistro alone. He was one of my absolute favorites in Zexal, and seeing how well he and Dextra were doing was good for the soul. Just look at this good lion man right here.

Look at him!!!

Favorite decks to use: Elemental Heroes, Aromages, Red Eyes, Six Samurai, and Crystal Beasts.

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, Xyz, Pendulum, or Link: I’m a simple girl, I love fusion/tributes for how easy they are, but synchro can be pretty fun, too

Years in fandom: ??? Even I don’t know the answer to this one, friends. I used to be in the fandom when I was in middle school, wrote/read a few fanfics here and there, but then I fell out of it for... Well I’m 22 now and only got back into things 6 months ago? I started rewatching the abridged series of Duel Monsters in March, and from there I just wanted to consume actual Yugioh content and never went back.

Who am I tagging: @finding-fallen-petals @dizziedaikonn​ @chazzaroo​ Go wild y’all

#ygo tag meme #ygo dm #ygo gx #ygo 5ds #ygo zexal #jaden yuki #judai yuki #chazz princeton #jun manjoume #shark kastle #ryoga kamishiro #crow hogan #yuzu hiiragi #ygo zexal vector #ygo zexal nistro #gauche #probably the longest post ive ever made on this blog jesus christ

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Coffeegleek Day 2

Author : @coffeegleek​ 

Share one of your strengths.

Humor, even if I'm the only one who's laughing. There's a reason I have the often used tag, "Sometimes I think I'm funny." :)

Share one of your weaknesses.

Redundancy. I try so damn hard not to repeat words, phrases, and sentences yet they always sneak in.

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

A Nest of Scars because it terrified me to put it out into the world. I both wanted to tell Kurt's origin story of his time in juvie, yet was/am still afraid I would attract haters and pedos. I held onto it for a year before publishing it. It doesn't have much traction at all and most of me is okay with that. I wrote it because I wanted to expand more on why Kurt acts the way he does in Empty Nest and Rebuilding the Nest. I also wanted to tell about the RL horrors that are happening to POC kids in the U.S. It was NOT an easy fic to write emotionally. It wasn't fun to write Kurt being abused from ages 6-13. My brain wouldn't let the story go, so now it's out there and done. Once the sequel to it and a couple of one shots are written, I'm hoping to let the verse go. Of course, I said that after Rebuilding the Nest too. Another hard part of that verse is wanting to write Kurt and Blaine's much happier life after Rebuilding the Nest. I have the characters, setting, and some basics down, but never could get enough plot to turn it into a worthwhile story.

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The crack fic one shots, whose names escape me. The Hallmark Christmas fics have been a blast. The only challenge to A Very Hallmark Christmas was when I started spiraling into more Kurt angst than I'd wanted for the verse and had to pull myself out of it. Writing A Soulmate for Santa Claus, the movie Kurt and Blaine were filming during A Very Hallmark Christmas, and the commercials that aired during the movie were a joy. It's why I want to get back to the verse.

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

A true passion. I've been writing my entire life and have totes full of my work from childhood to now. It's a life long dream to have my original sci-fi novel published. I worked on it on and off for nearly twenty years; the last major overhaul was finalized a few years ago.

Is there an episode or character or arc above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Burt's deep love for Kurt. As the parent of a gay son who ended up with PTSD due to homophobic and racist bullying, harassment, and assault it's a relationship I deeply relate to. I also relate to Kurt being an outsider who tries his best to rise above it all. Carole is a wonderful, relatable parent figure too.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Write the fics you want to read, what you love, and want to see more of.

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

That language is changing and that I should stop complaining (in private or on posts about grammar) about people not using pronouns in their fics. Yes, language changes over time, but in this time, Kurt should not reach over to Kurt's dresser to pull out Kurt's lube and condoms.

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

A Very Hallmark Christmas. It would be such a humorous delight with just a bit of relevant angst. It has everything - two actors (Kurt and Blaine) falling in love as their characters do on screen. An obnoxious child actor (Justin Goolsby's son) who makes the other child actors cry. A frustrated production assistant (Tina) who wants to kill the director (Artie.) A famous guest star (Mercedes Jones) who sings the movie's pivotal Christmas song. The actress who is so tired of having to be super nice in her roles (Santana.) POC actors complaining about the roles they're always forced to play. The shameless product placements. I watched hundreds of hours of Hallmark Christmas movies to get the cheesy dialogue just right. I even threw some fun Burt and Carole in the end. Can you tell I shamelessly love this fic and verse? :)

What’s your process? Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? What are the perfect writing conditions for you?

I write the scenes out of order. Or rather, I start to write from the beginning, but there always ends up being a scene or block of scenes which take place later in the story that are written in-between. I always have at least one, sometimes two, google docs of notes that accompany it. If I didn't, the fic would get way too messy with my color-coded notes. I have outlines of sorts. For A Nest of Scars, its chapters go by Kurt's age and each has a line or two of dialogue as the quote at the beginning that tells the reader what's going to happen. I had many of those outlined before and during the writing process because I was very selective about what happens to him when. I had rules set in place and the ending had already been established in the original fic, Empty Nest. 

With A Very Hallmark Christmas and A Very Weird Christmas Adventure, each chapter was defined by the Klaine Advent words of the day. I could never keep up to a chapter a day, so often I would have chapter notes with the words and ideas for them. 

Perfect writing conditions - living room couch (where I essentially eat, sleep, and live as it's "my space" within the house,) a blanket and laptop on my lap, pillows comforting my back, lights off, cup of coffee on the coffee table, and the TV on to something I only half want to watch with the sound off and the remote at the ready in case I glance over and want to take a break from writing. Sometimes I'll have a song that I'll play on repeat if it's helping me to write a scene. (I do this a lot when writing original work; less so with Klaine fanfic.)

***

Check out Coffeegleek’s Fics

A Very Hallmark Christmas - Semi-famous actor!Kurt and semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Though they’ve worked on the same movies before, this time they land roles that could change their lives forever. Mostly happy fluff, but has some angst. This is Hallmark, so of course it has a happy ending. Many of my favorite tropes have been included: badboy!Kurt who really has a heart of gold and sweetness, famous!Kurt, famous!Blaine, actor!Kurt, actor!Blaine, soulmates, soulmarks, AU Glee, angst with a happy ending, and fluff. There’s also a heavy dose of cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie writing in both the script and commercials. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

Originally this was my Klaine Advent 2018 fic that I brain froze on and knew was confusing because the first 2 chapters were stand-alone, random one shots before I got the idea in chapter 3 for a whole verse. So this is that Hallmark story verse only reworked to make it better and stand on its own. All of the Advent words are included in this fic.

A Soulmate for Santa Claus -  This is the movie, A Soulmate for Santa Claus, that was being filmed in the Kurt/Blaine fic, A Very Hallmark Christmas. It includes the commercials that were being filmed as well. New material is included.

A Very Weird Christmas Adventure - A crack fic of fun and all the tropes that continues after A Very Hallmark Christmas. You don't have to have read the original fic, but it helps.

#author spotlight #coffeegleek

[oldmanatom]

wrote a whole long post about how i “did” “NaNo,” thought i saved it to my drafts, came to post it tonight and it’s not there. that’s genuinely a bummer since i had other Thoughts™ baked into it, but i’ll take it as an opportunity to write a second draft version instead, now that i have my thoughts more together:

my version of NaNo, much like my version last year, was just to hit a word count goal with whatever writing i could scrape together. this year i set the goal lower than last year, and actually more or less hit it, which was cool and tbh surprising.

i’ve been resistant to writing to hit a word count in the past—seemed like an easy way to psych myself out, plus how i write (jumping all around the story/page/doc) makes keeping track of word counts annoying at best, challenging at worst—but succeeding last month made it far more appealing. i’m going to try and hit it again this month, to see if it might be a good way to keep myself on the writing...treadmill? hike? grind? [insert relevant metaphor here].

for the first time in literally (literally!) years, i’ve completed a first draft of something. it’s objectively not very good, and will need a lot of work—i didn’t know what the hell i was doing for 50% of it, and once i figured out what i was trying to do i didn’t know how to do it for the other 50%, and it took me basically the entire month to put it together brick by brick, so what i have now is about as scattered as you’d expect from that process—but it’s done, which means i can actually do that work and make those edits with a holistic view on what i’m working with, instead of, like, trying to fix the foundation as i’m also trying to build the frame and hang the drywall, so to speak.

thinking also about this post, and about that Terry Pratchett quote about how the first draft is just you telling yourself the story, and about how impossible it is to know and see everything there is to know and see about my story on the very first pass. this idea—that something being done is better than it being good when it comes to first drafts—is something that’s both obvious and easy to understand, and yet has taken me years to realize and more years to actually implement.

why? lots of reasons. one of them: i get stuck in write-edit cycles—write something, go back and edit it, write more, edit that and edit the other part to fit in with the new part, write more, etc etc. it’s a momentum killer. if i do that, i finish nothing, as i’ve proven over and over again over the years as i’ve started a million things and followed through on exactly none of them. trying to break myself of this habit has been a struggle, and mostly i lose, but i’m losing less often and less extensively than i was at the beginning, which i’ll take.

why care about this? lots of reasons. one of them: i am extraordinarily tired of looking at my folders full of bits and pieces stuck in Google docs that get forgotten about and left to collect virtual dust. they might be “good,” but i’m not satisfied with just writing them and letting them sit and do nothing, like some sort of dragon’s hoard of words. i am, regardless of how i feel moment to moment, a decent writer; if nothing else, i’m writing things that i like to read, and that i’d like others to read; i should find a way to bridge the gap and finish these off into something i can share.

(feeling like nothing’s ever done enough to share is its own point which i’m still trying to figure out, and which might be the next meta “thing” i tackle on the first edit/second draft of this piece. how much can one oneshot teach me? is it wise to make this into The Little Story That Could? i guess we’ll find out.)

one thing i’ve been learning as i’ve been trying to put this idea into practice, which will absolutely sound sappy but keeps proving itself true: my story’s going to teach me as i go. it’s going to tell me what needs to happen with the plot and characters and everything else, and it’s going to do that regardless of whether or not i have a 19 page scene-by-scene outline or a conversation i like, an image in my head of the scene, and a vague idea of what i want to happen next. and, whatever i miss on the first round i can pick up and work on in the next rounds. but it only teaches me if i keep writing it, unfortunately.

basically: it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be done. that’s it. that’s the only requirement of a first draft: that it be complete. just keep writing until the damn thing’s finished. polish comes second. i keep repeating this like a fucking mantra, like something you’d chant to yourself to get through a root canal or the last hour of a truly terrible shift, and honestly that’s what it feels like half the time, but it worked once, so who’s to say it won’t work again.

i think there was a third point in my original post, but i can’t remember it so i guess it can’t be that important. i’ll end with a few quotes from this past month of NaNo, entirely from that draft, which is partly because that was 80-90% of my writing this past month and partly because the other 10-20% is stuff that i’m likely going to be posting soon (yes, i do have plans to post something soon, sorry @ my poor neglected writing sideblog). without context, because i think that’s funnier—

1.

To your eternal shame, you can't actually manage to look up at the woman you know is standing in the doorway, one sandaled foot through the threshold and leaning heavily on the Death First to Solicitors and Thieves doormat. Instead, you glance partway over and see weak, yellowish light spill out from inside, cascade over the porch steps, and reach with dim and blunted fingers out towards her soaked half yard. You trace the watery edges of it with your eyes instead of looking at her, and it's a coward's move but that relief is back again, so.

"Harrow?" she says, barely audible over the pounding water around you.

You remember, then, when you told her ages ago that her vintage standing lamp needed its bulb replaced and the two of you had gotten into a nice little row over well, it's not dead yet, now is it, and where the hell am I supposed to find another weird filament bulb like that, and who exactly decided to get the damn antique showpiece thing anyways. It's entirely unsurprising that after all these years it's still the same almost-flickering bulb stuck in it, that it's somehow still alive and managing to bleed light out onto this miserable scene.

2.

Being shorn down to your shirts and jeans and socks makes you wrap your arms around yourself again. No longer having five pounds of wet denim on your shoulders lets your body remember what warmth is, and more importantly reminds you that you have none, and so what had been a vague shaking for the last hour turns into full-on shivering, teeth clacking and everything. You ask, not for the first time, for some reasonable God to show you mercy and cut you down.

Instead, Ianthe covers her smile half with her hand and says, "Oh, look at you, Harry, you poor thing. Soaking wet and I didn't even have a hand in it."

"Shut up," you try to say, but your chattering teeth and jaw make it come out more like "s-s-s-hhhht 'p," and Ianthe doesn't react regardless, just shakes her head and throws you another towel.

3.

"Harrow, please. It's late and I've never been fond of your insistence on bullshitting when I have your back against a wall. Besides, ending up huddled on my porch in the worst storm of the year is a little much, even for—"

"Even for me," you interrupt, "as though I was the one who slept in front of our front door for three nights so that I wouldn't 'run out on you with the rent' after you lost an argument."

The corner of Ianthe's mouth twitches, but it's the only slip of her otherwise curious, focused expression. "To be fair, it was an argument about the rent."

#posts from beyond the wifi #how do you fic #i was tbh on the fence about both writing all these Thoughts™ and about posting even these quotes #but the damn idea won't leave me alone so...*gestures vaguely* y'know? #also just want to thank whoever on the tumblr team finally made multi-nested lists functional. i DO love my tiered bulletpoints

[aion-rsa]

Why The Forever Purge Is the Series’ Most Relevant Movie Yet

https://ift.tt/3hq3TvP

In The Forever Purge, the fifth movie in the dystopian action-horror franchise which began in 2013 with writer-director James DeMonaco’s The Purge, the totalitarian regime known as the New Founding Fathers of America (NFFA) are back in power after having been booted out of office in 2016’s The Purge: Election Year. Right off the bat, they’ve reinstated Purge Night, the annual event in which all crime — up to and including murder — is legal for 12 hours from dusk to dawn, with no consequences.

But something goes awry in The Forever Purge: a breakaway movement using terms like “Forever After Purge” intends to keep the violence going after the 12 hours are up, instituting a permanent Purge with which they intend to “cleanse” the United States of those they deem not fit to be Americans. Immigrants are, of course, at the top of their list, but so are the wealthy — and the NFFA themselves may be in the line of fire as well.

“This is the first Purge movie where there are no rules,” says producer Jason Blum, whose Blumhouse Productions has been a producing partner on all five Purge films as well as a spin-off 2018-2019 TV series. “All the rules go out the window. It’s just total anarchy. I think [the film] says that you can try and control anarchy for a certain amount of time, but eventually anarchy controls you and that’s what happens in this movie.”

The parallels with real life, always lurking near the surface of the Purge films, are even more eerily prescient in The Forever Purge. The scenes of “Purge Purification” militants battling the Army and running wild through the streets of American cities are a little too close to the horrifying footage from last January 6, when hundreds of traitors and seditionists stormed the U.S. Capitol and killed cops in an effort to overthrow American democracy in favor of a lunatic cult leader.

Incredibly, James DeMonaco — who has written all five Purges and directed the first three — envisioned all this for The Forever Purge a couple of years before the events of January 6 even took place (the movie, directed by Everardo Valerio Gout, was completed in early 2020 and was set to arrive last summer until the pandemic delayed all film releases).

“James says that for a bunch of these movies, he’s kind of seeing the future,” says Blum. “The movie was wrapped a long time ago, before the pandemic. It was supposed to come out last summer. We chose to hold it because of the pandemic. I think James has really seen the future a bunch of times in these movies. I was asked in an earlier interview if he made changes based on current events. He did not. He has this unique ability to kind of see the future that he exercises in The Purge franchise.”

“I get so many calls from Jason, [saying], ‘How did you predict all this?’” says DeMonaco. “I’m like, ‘Listen, I’m not happy I did it.’ It’s a combination of shock and sadness that these grotesque things I wrote two years ago are kind of coming true in an odd way. Not fully true, but some permutation of it. I wish these films didn’t have any resemblance to our current society at all. That would make me much happier if we lived in complete harmony and the Purge films were not relevant to society.”

DeMonaco says he first “saw the seeds of discord” two and a half years ago, and that — coupled with the ongoing news about a border crisis and his desire to work a love story into a Purge film — gave him the initial ideas for The Forever Purge.

“The current political climate always seeps its way into the writing because it’s a political conceit to purge,” he explains. “I mean, first and foremost, they need to be bad-ass horror action films. Then the socio-political underpinnings can seep in underneath that.”

Although DeMonaco says that it’s “unavoidable” that current events have found their way into all five theatrical entries in the Purge franchise, Blum maintains that filmmakers don’t necessarily have an obligation to comment on real-life developments in their films, even when working in a genre like science fiction or horror that can indirectly touch on such subjects.

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“I don’t know if they have an obligation to do anything,” says the producer of such long-running franchises as Insidious, Paranormal Activity, and others. “I hope their obligation is to make great, entertaining, interesting movies. That said, if they have something they want to say about the world we live in, horror is a great way to say it because it means people will actually listen.”

Blum continues, “[If] you make a movie about a lesson, no one’s going to watch it. But…if you think of a clever conceit for a horror movie and you want to kind of ‘Trojan horse’ an idea about society into that movie, that’s a great way to get your idea forward. But we also make a lot of scary movies that have nothing to say besides the fact they’re fun and scary.”

DeMonaco agrees that it’s easier to get a message into a movie hidden inside the tropes of horror, sci-fi, or dystopian fiction, which is the way he approaches each of the Purge entries. “I read a lot of sci-fi growing up — Dune, Ringworld, all the great stuff,” he says. “Even watching the movies, from Soylent Green to all the John Carpenter stuff, they did it amazingly. John’s the master at sneaking socio-political content into a genre piece. [George A.] Romero too.”

According to DeMonaco, director Martin Scorsese coined the term “smuggler’s cinema” when speaking about the great directors of the 1940s and ‘50s, like Anthony Mann or John Ford, who were contracted by the studios to make nothing but war movies or Westerns.

To keep themselves interested, they would “smuggle” ideas into the pictures: “[Scorsese] says, if you watch these movies closely, they’re incredibly political because the directors were smuggling the ideas,” says DeMonaco. “I always say with The Purge we’re doing the same thing.”

But DeMonaco is quick to add with a laugh that the Purge films “aren’t all that subtle.” He elaborates, “The new one especially is not the most subtle thing, but it still has the trappings of the genre. There are some people who just watch it and find it to be incredibly fun, and horrific, and a crazy conceit.”

It’s hard to believe that the “crazy conceit” behind the movies — the first four of which have grossed nearly half a billion dollars worldwide combined — first took root in DeMonaco’s imagination back in the early 2000s, following an incident in which he and his wife were nearly taken out by a drunk driver. His wife, enraged by the occurrence and the person, remarked, “I wish we all had one free one.”

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The idea sat with DeMonaco for several years after that, until he found himself living in Paris, where the New York City native noticed something: “No one I met had a gun,” he recalls. “None of the French friends I made in Paris over the year I was there had a gun. I started thinking back to Staten Island, Brooklyn, New York, LA, seven out of 10 people I could probably name, even people that you wouldn’t think had a gun, had a gun in the home.”

DeMonaco says that led him to become “very curious about America’s relationship to weaponry and violence,” adding, “Coupling that with my wife’s idea, that’s where the initial idea of the Purge was spawned.”

But DeMonaco admits that even he didn’t see the commercial appeal of the concept until Blum came along: “We were having trouble getting financing. Jason saw the potential commercial success that it could be. So it’s been the strangest journey, man. We never thought we’d be five movies in, thinking about a sixth, with a TV show in the can. It’s been a strange time.”

The Forever Purge is out in theaters Friday (July 2).

The post Why The Forever Purge Is the Series’ Most Relevant Movie Yet appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3x8zglg

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[rabidsquabbiteldewrito]

ElDewrito Dev Update (Mar 04, 2018) Part 1

It’s been about a month since our last post, and we apologize for the lack of dev blog updates. Many of our team members have been busy/away during parts of the last month (I just got back from a much-needed week long vacation, snowboarding in the Rockies). While we would have liked to have 0.6 released by now, please remember that we’re all doing this in our spare time for free, and sometimes we burn out, or simply aren’t able to work on it as much as we’d like.

That being said, we’re back at full force with refreshed minds and ready to hammer this thing out.

I’ve read many comments from many people, whether it be on reddit or discord or PMs, saying that our communication is too infrequent and needs to be improved. While I do not need to apologize for taking a vacation, I take these comments to heart. It was only a year and a half ago when I was in the same position you are in, on the outside looking in, asking the same thing from the devs. It’s why I made that first 0.6 update post and it’s why I have been writing these blog posts. I’ll honor your guys’ request and go into as much detail as possible.

I’ll discuss the progress we’ve made since our last post, what’s remaining to do, and also showcase some cool new stuff we’ve added. And as always, we’ll show you some new gameplay using the new features or new forge maps.

This blog post is two parts. If you don’t care about the technical jargon and just want to see cool stuff, skip to the bottom - there’s some cool new features to see. For the rest of you, sit down. This one’s a long read; you asked for it.

The ‘Dedi Connection Bug’

In our last blog post, I went into detail about the ‘dedi connection bug’. As you recall, this bug has two manifestations:

Player A can’t join a server because it conflicts with player B already in the server. The join request is actually rejected.

A player attempts to join a server, but the establishment process never completes, yet the player is able to join the voip server and can hear players in the server. This manifestation has multiple root causes.

One of our team members, unk_1, wrote a log parser to detect occurrences of the dedi bug. We turned on network logging on a few of the 0511 dedicated servers and left them running for a week at a time. After analyzing the logs, we’ve found that manifestation #1 accounts for about ¾ of the connection issues. As I mentioned last post, #1 has been completely fixed already.

A lot of work has gone into trying to fix number 2, and while some occurrences might be out of control for the time being (restricted NAT type for example: remember Xbox 360 NAT type issues?), we have made great progress and have fixed one of its causes. I’ll go into a bit of detail about that here.

MTU and Packet Fragmentation

The MTU (maximum transmission unit) is the size of the largest amount of data that can be sent in a single network transaction. If a packet is too big (larger than MTU), routers will fragment this packet into smaller ones and then the data gets reassembled. This fragmentation can lead to a much higher chance of packet loss. In addition, not all routers behave the same in regards to packet fragmentation, and many do not obey the ‘Don’t Fragment’ flag in the IP protocol header.

Why is this relevant? After lots of digging and research, we found that some of the packets that are exchanged during the establishment process were bigger than the MTU size. The solution? Shrink them down to a valid size so that they don’t get fragmented. After testing this in 0511, we saw the number of manifestation #2 occurrences decrease.

While this is great news, many #2 occurrences still were still present in the logs, and we believe many of them are related to NAT. We will provide a how-to doc when 0.6 releases on how to check/open your NAT type, as well as other useful info to ensure that other players can connect to your server without issue. As for the other #2 connection issues that may (we aren’t even sure if any remain) still exist that are within our control, we’re going to leave them to be fixed them in a later update. Debugging these issues are a slow, tedious, painful process. We can’t have this issue delay us any further, so we’re calling it a day. Note: So far, with the #1 and #2 fixes in, we haven’t had a single dedi bug re-occurrence in our testing sessions, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there aren’t rare connection issues hiding somewhere that we haven’t been able to replicate.

The Updater

The usual question. We’ve made great progress on the updater, and it is pretty much finished. The updater will be a lightweight standalone exe that will allow you to update to the latest version, and even downgrade to previous versions. The updater will not need to be ran to start the game, nor will it act as a launcher like the 0511 updater does. It’s simply an updater. When a future update comes out, for example 0.7, a message will be displayed on the title screen when you boot up the game, telling you that you need to close the game and update. Open the updater -> click update -> done. There are a couple of very small bugs we’ve found during the testing of it, and those are being fixed.

Enough about the boring stuff, on to the fun stuff.

Misc/Small Bug Fixes since last post:

Settings - Fix for Alt binds

Added forge binding to deselect everything

Allow held forge object to be extended unconstrained

Fix transparent materials for reforge

Fix ‘default’ weapon offset preset doesn’t work in the in-game menu

Fix atmosphere toggle on map modifier

Fix weather effects not working on certain maps

Fix issues with custom fog not working well on certain maps

Discord UI - Fix the Ui showing breifly upon starting the game

Chat UI - Add warning alert for opening links that may be unsafe

Fix crash related to forge kill volumes

Fixed exe remaining running in background due to Discord rpc not shutting down

Fix duplicate requests for player info (rank, emblem, ect)

Jaron’s emblem editor that we showed a preview of in the last post has been added and touched up. 

Q: Has anything you’ve previously shown us not going to make it into 0.6?

A: Yes, unfortunately the doors and fans we showcased in the last blog post have too many issues and are not ready for prime time. We want them to be polished before adding it, and doing so right now would be time consuming and would delay release. Keeping the doors and fans as-is in 0.6 would break any maps using them we were to fix/polish them in a later update. For these reasons, we’ve decided to exclude these from 0.6 and add the doors/fans to a future update instead.

Q: Have any new cool features been added since the last post?

A: Absolutely. 

But before I go into detail on these, I want to make an important distinction about why things are still able to be added while we haven’t released yet. We often see comments like “Why are you still adding features when you could have released?”, or “just release the game and add stuff to it later”.

That’s not really how development for this game works. This team has quite a few active developers. If two people are working on a must-fix bug, say ‘the dedi-bug’ for example, there are other members of the team who are still available to work on other things. If devs A and B are developing the new updater, that doesn’t mean that devs C-G need to sit and twiddle their thumbs until the updater is finished. Some bugs are very complex, and only certain members of the team have the expertise to fix them. This produces opportunities for us to sneak in extra features without slowing down our 0.6 progress whatsoever. So to be clear, extra features that we’ve been showing off in the last few blog posts have not in any way slowed down or delayed the release of 0.6.

That being said, buckle up, because we’ve got some cool new shit for you.

Glass and Emissive Glass have been added as forge materials. Any reforge object can be given a glass or emissive glass material, and can have customized opacity and color. 

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40 New Materials have been added for forge objects. In addition, Forge Material textures can now be scaled, and the x and y offsets   can be adjusted.

Here is a video showing some of these new materials being used in forge, as well as how to adjust the scale and offsets.

Fog has been drastically improved to look more realistic. Here are a couple of examples:

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Directional lights have been added.  You can control the direction, intensity, fov radius, color, and near width of any light. Here is an example picture:

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Directional lights are great because you get much more control with bleeding (the light doesn’t go through the objects). you can set the FOV to something high like 180 and it’s like a point light but it won’t bleed above it through objects. In this example - here’s where the light is:

With a point light instead of directional light, it would be super bright up here:

Pulse and Flicker functions can also be applied and customized to any light source. You can control the minimum intensity, maximum intensity, as well as the frequency of the pulse or flicker. Here’s a video showing some of these lights being created/altered in forge.

Player size is now a gametype option/trait. Players can be scaled to be tiny, huge, or anywhere in-between. For example, you can create gametypes where the players become huge while in the hill or in the lead, or tiny while holding the ball or flag. A small map like the pit can suddenly turn into a BTB map. The sky is the limit. Players also animate between the two sizes, so they don’t just instantly magically appear large or small when transitioning from one size to another.

A full gameplay video where players are tiny, but become big and slow while inside the hill in a game of KOTH is posted in part 2 of this blog post, but here are a couple of pictures.

A huge spartan driving a Warthog:

Large Spartans as a hill trait:

Skyboxes can be swapped to/from any map. Yep, you can now choose any skybox you want when creating a forge map. There are options for inheriting the fog that comes with the skybox, or you can override it with your own custom fog.

These skyboxes open an whole new realm of creativity. Take a look at some simple examples of skyboxes being used on different maps.

Guardian Skybox on Narrows

Valhalla skybox on Sandtrap:

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Here is a video showing how to change/alter skyboxes: 

Here is a small album of 4k images. I will add additional images to this album throughout the day. 

Additional Weather Effects have been added. Heavy Snow, Rain, Falling Ash, Slipspace Fallout, and Flood Pollen can now be used as weather effects. While the rain effect is a little underwhelming and needs some work (it doesn’t look very realistic yet), some of the other effects are quite cool. Here’s a gif of the “Slipspace Fallout” effect.

Don’t forget to check out part 2 for some gameplay videos, but for now, let’s get back to business. 

Q: Now What?

A: We are at a state where we now consider the game to be ‘Feature Complete’. All of the major bugs that we’ve committed to fixing have been fixed. All of the features that we committed to adding, have been added. No more features will be added. We are going to enter a short, exhaustive, ‘Regression Testing’ cycle where we test every feature that we have added over the past two years. The only commits that will occur between now and release will be fixes for bugs found during the regression testing cycle. The reason this is necessary is because over time, parts of the code have changed, been refactored, moved, ect. We need to ensure that we haven’t broken anything along the way. One of our main devs, unk_1, once said “I can't overstate how much i just molested the engine over the last 2 weeks. It needs to be tested like a lot.” And that’s what we’ll be doing. 

When we’re finished, you’ll know. 

Until next time (or until we’re playing right along side you); Sincerely, 

RabidSquabbit

[prameet]

Maximum Feasible Participation

An article by Arie Halachmi of Sun Yat-sen University in China and Marc Holzer of Rutgers University-Newark in the fall 2010 issue of the journal Public Administration Quarterly titled “Citizen Participation and Performance Measurement: Operationalizing Democracy Through Better Accountability” argues that technological advances make it easier for increased citizen participation in public administration and “makes the case for greater involvement of citizens in designing the collection, the analysis, the dissemination and in assuring the proper consumption of performance measurement data” (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010).

The article traces the idea of direct citizen participation in American public administration to the Economic Opportunity Act of 1964, which was a component of a package of legislation championed by President Lyndon B. Johnson as part of his War on Poverty. The Act required “the maximum feasible participation” of local communities in the development and public administrations of social programs aimed at curbing the root causes of poverty. Indeed, as Johnson said in a message to the Senate in March 1964, “These are not plans prepared in Washington and imposed upon hundreds of different situations. They are based on the fact that local citizens best understand their own problems and know best how to deal with those problems” ("Journal of the Senate of the United States of America", 1964, p. 153). Although the concept is decades old, Halachmi and Holzer argue that modern citizen participation programs need to increase community trust and participation by enacting accountability measures. “The use of performance measurements is one of the trends that are transforming governments around the world,” they write (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010, p. 382).

This idea of maximum feasible participation is the same concept that underpins the foundations of New York City community boards. In a previous review of an article by Neale Smith of the University of British Columbia titled “The Public Administrator as Collaborative Citizen: Three Conceptions,” I explored three potential theoretical bases for the existence of community boards – (1) critical theory, (2) pragmatism, and (3) the Aristotelian idea of active citizenship (Smith, 2010). Greater accountability and the use of performance measures tie into each of the three conceptions. Critical theorists seek to confront society’s constraining forces, including its bureaucratic structures, and “citizen participation that allows the public to ask questions and to select the measurement methodology can elevate such concerns and increase public confidence in the resulting report(s) on performance” (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010, p. 387). This methodology might not go far enough for critical theorists, but it’s still foundational. A pragmatist who believes in local, deliberative decision making would insist on open data (data and content that can be used and shared by anyone) so everyone has access to the same information. “Anyone involved in the decision-making – above or below, on the inside or on the outside – should have an open door to any relevant information,” Halachmi and Holzer argue. “Allowing information to circulate freely will help transparency while stimulating new problem-solving energies and ideas” (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010, p. 391). A believer of Aristotelian ethics would value the ability of citizen participation to “enhance public understanding of the reasons for an agency’s ability (or inability) to attain higher levels of effectiveness, efficiency, legitimacy” and to establish “government accountability, and thus trust, in the public’s eye” (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010, p. 385).

New York City is already taking steps in the direction of greater accountability and increased transparency in performance data. Through NYC Open Data, the City seeks “to engage New Yorkers in the information that is produced and used by City government” ("NYC Open Data"). Open Data includes everything from crime statistics through CompStat to traffic data through TrafficStat to the Street Tree Map through NYC Parks’ 2015 TreesCount! street tree census. Community boards can also utilize modern technological solutions to increase accountability and transparency. One idea is to modernize constituent services through a digital customer relationship management (CRM) tool to track constituent questions and requests. As Salesforce, the top CRM software company puts it, “The main goal of customer relationship management is to manage a business’ relationship with its customers. In a government setting, the same principles are easily applied, but the customers in question are all citizens of a city, state, or the country. As such, CRM platforms are incredibly useful in helping government agencies to connect with their citizens” (Salesforce). This constituent request data, once digitized, can be collated to better inform community boards’ annual budget priorities so they are based on actual constituent needs instead of anecdotal requests from board members. Civic organization BetaNYC is already taking steps to create these kinds of tools, including CBDB (a community board CRM solution), BoardStat (a tool to leverage NYC 311 service request data), and BoardTrack (a community board attendance tracking tool) (BetaNYC).

Even though the idea of maximum feasible participation first gained ground more than a half century ago, we are still grappling with some of the same issues it faced at its inception. As Halachmi and Holzer wrote, “citizen participation has come a long way since Moynihan (1969) expressed concern about the absence of the poor and minorities in the political process,” but the poor and minorities are still woefully underrepresented in the community board process. Queens community boards do not currently represent the demographic diversity of Queens. In a July 2018 NYC Charter Revision Commission public hearing, I argued that, to help make community boards look more like their communities, we need to establish term limits ("2018 Charter Revision - 7/26/18 - Queens"). Without community boards that are diverse, embracing members, and truly inviting interactions with the residents, boards risk becoming insular and ineffective. In an article in The City earlier this year, I argued that the demographics of Queens Community Board 6 have changed significantly over the past few decades, but these shifts haven’t yet been reflected in our community board and in our local political representation (Smith & Choi, 2020). The white majority population of CB6 has declined in share by 12.6% between the 2000 and 2010 Censuses, and Asian and Hispanic populations have gained share by 19.1% and 17.4% respectively. But members of CB6 are poor demographic representatives of the community at large, with the board over-representing white people and under-representing Asian and Hispanic people (VlissingenVan, 2018). This discrepancy exists even though the City Charter mandates that “in making such [community board] appointments, the borough president shall consider whether the aggregate of appointments fairly represents all segments of the community” ("About Community Boards - In the City Charter").

If our community boards are truly rooted in a pragmatic tradition, and if we do truly value accountability and transparency, we need to do better. As Halachmi and Holzer wrote, “Better representation of all elements of society in the decision making process was promoted as a higher level of democracy. But as pointed out here, participation contributes to transparency, which is another important attribute of democracy in general and accountability in particular” (Halachmi & Holzer, 2010, p. 393).

 References

2018 Charter Revision - 7/26/18 - Queens, 2018 Charter Revision - 7/26/18 - Queens (2018). Retrieved from https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/charter/downloads/pdf/07_26_18_CharterRevision_Hearing.pdf

BetaNYC. (n.d.). Products. Retrieved April 6, 2020, from https://beta.nyc/products/

Halachmi, A., & Holzer, M. (2010). Citizen Participation and Performance Measurement: Operationalizing Democracy through Better Accountability. Public Administration Quarterly, 34(3), 378–399.

Journal of the Senate of the United States of America, Journal of the Senate of the United States of America (1964). Washington. Retrieved from https://books.google.com/books?id=fR04Gr9U31YC&pg=PA153&lpg=PA153

NYC Open Data. (n.d.). Retrieved April 6, 2020, from https://opendata.cityofnewyork.us/overview/

Queens Community Board 3. (n.d.). About Community Boards - In the City Charter. Retrieved April 6, 2020, from http://www.cb3qn.nyc.gov/1655

Salesforce. (n.d.). How CRM Can Help Bring Government Technology Into the 21st Century. Retrieved April 6, 2020, from https://www.salesforce.com/solutions/industries/government/resources/crm-helping-government-technology/

Smith, N. (2010). The Public Administrator as Collaborative Citizen: Three Conceptions. Public Administration Quarterly, 34(2), 238–261.

Smith, R. H., & Choi, A. (2020, January 29). Does Your Community Board Reflect You and Your Neighbors? Find out. THE CITY. Retrieved from https://thecity.nyc/2020/01/does-your-community-board-reflect-you-and-your-neighbors.html

VlissingenVan. (2018, August 31). Twitter. Retrieved April 6, 2020, from https://twitter.com/VlissingenVan/status/1035581909512925184

[jaymysteri0]

Television designer and winner of the Aspen Comics Talent Hunt Chris Callahan had a comic book debut with The Misplaced, about love, death, and the limitations of Paradise published last week. He writes,

Before we get to the step-by-step, full-proof, never-fail, extensively researched formula for how to break into comics, I’d like to tell you a quick story (names redacted to protect the innocent) about how it’s impossible to break into comics…

I have two friends relevant to this article. Person A has been grinding on the con circuit he sells a fair amount of books at each show he does, he’s run several successful Kickstarters, and he has a small but loyal fanbase that buys everything he self-publishes. Far as I know he’s never had a “paid gig” in comics. Person B has had a couple series put out by a major publisher, and he recently wrote something for one of the big two.

Of the two people in question, it’s Person B who feels like he’s still trying to break into comics. After all, his paid work is sporadic, and he’s not really making a living at comics yet.

In truth, “breaking in” first boils down to you and how you define “in”. After all, who’s to say a creator with his own self-published book slinging floppies at the local con isn’t “in” comics?

If you read no further in this article, read this: Do not make your definition of breaking in something out of your control. If you won’t feel like you’ve made it until you’ve been discovered by Marvel, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of frustration that won’t be productive. Marvel does the hiring, not you. Don’t give someone else control of your goals.

No two people I know, or have observed during my time as a con rat, became a comic pro in the same way. The twists and turns and possibilities are too varied. But all of them that went from “I wanna make a comic” to (in one case) working on a TV show based on their comic checked these boxes…

Step 1: Produce Content

Obviously, right? Nope. I went to a “breaking in” panel at a con a few years ago. The moderator started by asking, “How many of you have a comic or portfolio with you?” Only about half raised their hand. “To everyone not raising their hand, you should leave and spend the next 45 minutes making something,” the moderator said. Fun fact: I was one of the people that didn’t raise his hand.

The point was taken, though. No one will hire you to write a comic, draw a comic, or letter a comic until you’ve already demonstrated the ability to do so. Incidentally, no one can impulse-buy a comic from your table at a show if you don’t have any books on said table. Even in the world of crowdfunding, you have to at the very least produce SOMETHING that convinces people to back it.

If you’re a writer, write. If you’re an artist, draw. Don’t wait for permission. Trust me, never once has a Marvel talent scout walked up to a random person at a con and said the following: “I don’t know you, but you seem pretty cool, I bet you can spin a good yarn, wanna write Spider- Man?”

Step 2: Put that content where people can find it

For me, it was posting Misplaced artwork on Twitter that finally got me some attention. Ironically I was posting art before there was a story. They were just random pieces of art with a rough thematic link. But friends kept commenting with things like, “I can’t wait for this book!” So I immediately started writing the book.

Twitter was my ticket, but like I said above, no two people follow the same path to a creative career. The main point here is to “put it out there” via a means you control. There are various web comic outlets. Or if you have a full digital comic, comiXology could be the way to go. Even your own site. You’ve just got to make that content you created available.

Other means of putting it out there:

– If you have a self-published floppy, get a table at your local con. Shelf space at a shop or distribution through Diamond both have barriers to entry. All a table requires is a fee.

– If you’re going after work-for-hire, get your way into a bigger con, print up some copies of your sample work, and politely go table to table and ask the various publishers if you can leave something behind. Check the company’s site or Twitter; most will let you know their process. I have a near yearly tradition of leaving something behind at the BOOM booth at SDCC. Alas, still waiting for a call. I’ve never had any success with this angle, but I know some who have and it’s always worth a shot.

– Finally, enter talent hunt competitions. I won the Aspen Comics Talent Hunt a couple years ago. Top Cow runs one regularly. Any opportunity to put your work in front of people is one you should take. There’s a direct link from me deciding to enter the Aspen Comics contest to being a contributing artist in The Stranger Things Artbook this year. Put your stuff out there any way you can.

Step 3: Tell people about that content you produced.

This step could be its own book, but it’s also arguably the easiest. If you’ve made the comic (Step 1) and gotten yourself a table at your local con (Step 2), then someone at some point during that show will walk by and ask, “What’s this about?” Answer that question, and you’ve completed Step 3.

It gets trickier from there, though. For the most part, people don’t want to be sold to. Starting a conversation about things relating to your book is much more effective. Find your fans where they already live. Seek out means to discuss your inspirations and interests, in person at conventions, online in forums… Introduce your content in context, and it’s much more likely you’ll be introducing it to a future fan.

And of course, who could forget social media? Friends, it is dark and full of terrors. But on some level you’ve got to do it. Twitter and Instagram are still the best places to connect with other like-minded folks and interject yourself and your work into the conversation. Get on Twitter/Instagram, follow everyone relevant to your book, and engage with editors/comic journalists/other creators. Reply to their comments, and share the tweets you think are worthwhile. (Just play it cool. Nobody likes a cyber stalker that likes every post they make.) And just like above, don’t pitch, converse. The soft sell sells harder.

BONUS Step 4: Sticking Around

Be chill. Be easy to work with. It pays off.

In my other life, I’m a TV graphic artist. I basically come up with the logo and general “look” of a show. I’ve done work for all the major networks, most recently redesigning the logo and

associated graphics of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade broadcast for NBC. Trust me when I tell you, I am not the best logo designer in the world. Honestly, I’d say I’m average. But the producer loves working with me because I meet deadlines, I solve problems instead of creating them, and I don’t let my creative ego get in the way of the final product. Sometimes that tips the balance in the hiring process.

Aside: How did I get into TV design and land such a high profile gig, you ask? Once upon a time I created a bunch of fake logos and animation samples, I put those on my site, and I emailed a few production companies. Sound familiar? Create a reel (step 1), post it online (step 2), email to inquire about openings (step 3)—and fifteen years later I’m still “in” (step 4).

The Results and Final Thoughts

Don’t aim to write the next Walking Dead; franchises like that are lightning in a bottle. Don’t aim to write superheroes just to get Marvel’s attention if you’re not a fan of superhero comics. Write a cool book or create artwork that you love, and you’ll probably find a couple other people that love it too.

I don’t know how far you’ll get, and I don’t know how fast it will happen. An editor might hit up your DMs. A comic friend might get a paid gig and bring you on board. You might post ten pages on Webtoons and a development exec from Warner Brothers wants to option it. Who knows?

Just repeat the phrase: “Make it, share it.” If you put enough content out there, good things will happen.

If you want to be a creator, always be creating.

#comic creation #breaking in #do it

[wwiilettershome]

Aug. 23, 1943

Dear Emma,

Just a line. Just wrote Bobbie and sent him $100 and a few air mail envelopes. Will enclose map and a letter of his I got tonight.

Went to see “Coney Island” last night it was a very good picture. (1) Don’t know whether you saw it or not. Don’t know as you need to bring that Kodak with you. Guess we can get all the pictures we want with this one unless Henry should want it back.

With Love,

Henry.

---

[Letterhead:] CAMP ROBERTS CALIFORNIA

August 19, 1943

Camp Roberts, Cal.

I

Dear Pop,

I just got your letter dated Aug 16 and I was very glad to hear from you. I think I have already told you that I got both your other letters but if not I’ll repeat it.

My address is

Pvt. Robert Dowst 31373722

Co. A, 1st Platoon, 80 Inf. Trng. Bn,

Camp Roberts, California

I also got my first < (an officer just walked in + somebody yelled “attention” that ruined my (+)) letter from Ma directly. With it a letter from George Johnson,(2) Fred Minolt (3), and one from Carol Whitney. (4) Mail reaches me in a crazy sequence I guess. Ma said in her letter (the 1st one we received) that she had already written me a letter but I haven’t got it yet. If I were to pay my way back east round trip is something like $64 from here. (5) To 

II

Cincinnati wouldn’t be quite as bad. I don’t have to worry about that for some time though because we don’t get a furlough till we finish basic + if we get sent to college we don’t get any. Only if we’re ready to be shipped will we get one.

I’d like some salted nuts O.K. Candy isn’t too good for us because it’s apt to make us sweat more but anything like salted nuts is very good. I’ve already asked Ma for $5 from my money + I’ve also asked her for some clothes hangers, plain white Turkish towels, and my fountain pen so I can’t think of anything else. The only reason I asked her for the money is that we may not get paid till the end of September, and it costs me as much to live here as it does Henry at college. We pay to clean our uniforms because the laundry isn’t available yet (if it were + the money was deducted from our pay it would be easier but it costs 75¢ to clean + press 1 set of suntans.

III

Then is costs 75¢ a week for haircuts and I always like to eat ice cream + cookies at the PX (I can eat + eat + never get full, the reason being I can’t eat between meals at all and I get awful hungry. The 1st month I have 2 months insurance taken out ($6:50 a month (sic)) That’s $13 plus $3.75 for war bonds is about $14 out the first month which will leave about $36. Of course I’ve been in almost a month now + I haven’t signed any payroll + if you don’t sign by the 15th you don’t get paid at the end of the month. If I wait till the end of the September (sic) I’ll get about $80 or at least I ought to then I can send some back. But when I get paid I already have some of it spent for more G.I. socks and underwear. This underwear is much better than those jockey shorts I used to wear, but I’ve only got 2 pairs. I’ve ordered 2 more pair

[End page 3]

IV

Of heavy woolen socks from the Lieutenant but he has to go to the L.M. to get them and lord only knows when he’ll get around to it. Then I also want to have some decent pictures taken. 

Did Ma send you those I had taken in St. Louis? They weren’t very good because I was hot + dirty from the trip. (6) Then after I keep out some for myself I’ll send the rest. One thing we get good + cheap is ice cream. 15¢ for a pint. A pint + a package of those cellophane cookies will fill me up pretty well just before I go to bed. When I go to the movies I limit myself to a package of popcorn. I saw that picture “The Black Swan” by Raphael Sabatini (sic). I think you told me about it once and I couldn’t get to see it so when I saw it was at theater No. 1 I went. (7)

Yesterday we had quite an extensive gas mask drill. We had to be able to put them on in a maximum of 15 sec. Then when we could do that, they made us march + run in them for about a half hour + boy that even almost got my wind. One advantage of them was that the dust didn’t bother at all. I have a gas mask of the very latest type. Some guys got older models. When we leave here we keep them with us. They’re good for 40 hrs in a normal concentration of gas. Later on we’ll use them in the gas chamber. We also have to sniff different gases to be able to recognize them. Today we’ve been learning different combat formations + signals. The whole general idea is not to be in line with anyone or near anyone in all these formations. There are all sorts – 

[End page 5]

- of reasons for these + each formation has its own advantage. I don’t know whether I’m telling you anything I’m not supposed to or not we aren’t supposed to tell hardly anything. They keep drilling this into us. Of course I know you’re O.K. but to the army this is no excuse so if I say anything very “military” or anything why don’t talk about it too much. I know enthusiasm is one of the reasons by which soldiers unwittingly give out information + believe me you can’t help being enthusiastic when you see some of these weapons you just want to tell the whole world about them + how good they are but we can’t. For instance the “Bazooka” you’ve heard of it not doubt we are strictly forbidden to talk to anyone about it. (8) Well I guess I’ll go to the P.X. + get some postcards for Ma. She wanted to see some pictures of the camp. She’ll probably show them to you sometime.

Love,

Bobbie

Footnotes:

(1) Coney Island (1943), was a musical starring Betty Grable, released in June that year.

(2) Found a few George Johnsons in NH, but none seem like the right one, and when I tried to narrow it to Epsom, I found that there was a British George Johnson that isolated Epsom Salts, alas!  (3) No hits :-(  (4) No relevant hits :-( 

(5) $64 in Aug. 1943 is $949.12 now, according to the inflation calculator. That seems excessive, but remember 1) there was a war on so prices would be high due to gas/fuel rationing and trying to limit unnecessary travel 2) this is before deregulation in the 80s so travel itself was a luxury even without war times, and 3) this is even before the development of the interstate highway system. 

(6) No pictures that I’m aware of, but still a few boxes of photos to get through let alone the letters I’m transcribing

(7) The Black Swan (1942) is a colorful, action-packed pirate movie based on the novel by Rafael Sabatini. My dad and I watched it together about a year ago on the TCM channel. – Steven

(8) The M1 hand-held rocket grenade launcher was invented in 1942 by US Lieutenant Edward Uhl. The term “Bazooka” was given to it as a humorous comparison, based on the weapon’s shape to a silly long-horned instrument called a “bazooka” that was played by the comedian Bob Burns in the 1930’s: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bazooka

#wwii #world war 2 #basic training #letters #correspondence #handwriting #historic weaponry #classic moveies #army #infantry

[onisionhurtspeople]

The Adrienne Letter

This letter was published by Adrienne, an ex-girlfriend of Onision’s, to a certain YouTuber in an effort to help him understand more about how Greg operates. After Onision made a series of videos attacking her, she gave him permission to release this letter in is entirety - in fact, one of the videos in this series about her was the reason why he was banned from VidCon in 2012. 

The reason I am re-posting this now, after all these years, is because of the recent surge of interest in Onision in light of the drama that has been surrounding his personal life and shady business practices since late December. If even one Onision fan reads this and changes their mind about him, then I’m happy to repost it.

What follows is Adrienne’s letter in its entirety, unedited by me in any way. 

Oh God, where to start? Even after a night of rest, and an afternoon  to collect my thoughts, this situation was such an emotional  clusterfuck for me, that accessing the vault that these thoughts are  locked away in makes my head spin. But, as promised, here we go – from  the beginning… A lot of people seem to be confused on how exactly me and G met;  some people think we were friends before, some people think we contacted  each other to orchestrate some subscriber garnering publicity stunt,  and some people know the truth. The truth of how we met is cute, but  hardly newsworthy. Long story short, I stumbled upon some of his speaks video earlier in  this year (ironically enough, while I was still dating my last ex – the  one who I wrote that long, “incriminating”, blog entry about, that G  publicly posted to seek “revenge”). Honestly, I share(d) the same view  on his speaks videos as you; they are ignorant, judgemental,  hypocritical, and close-minded, with no real life experience or formal  education to lend any form of validity, meaning, or substance to the  preachy nature of whatever his “message” for that particular video may  be. His message that lacks any message at all, that is just someone  seemingly talking to hear the sound of their own voice. But, regardless,  there is something fascinating about his speaks videos that keep you  watching. Perhaps it’s his audacity? Or, to the contrary, perhaps it's  his naive boyish demeanor (a facade or not) that keeps you glued to the  screen, watching for the moment he finally gets it. But, I digress – I found his videos interesting, not only because of  the entertainment factor, but from a psychologically analytical  standpoint, and so I kept watching. And watching. And watching. After me  and my boyfriend broke off our year and a half relationship towards the  end of may, I suddenly had a lot of free time – so what did I do? I  continued watching all the way through round one of the Shiloh drama. I  often found myself not only relating to Shiloh, applying her situation  to the recently extinct relationship of my own, but also wondering what I  would do in Shiloh’s shoes if I were with G instead of her. Which  subsequently lead to me wondering what it was like to date G; to be the  center of his attention, to be showered in his affection. Then I totally  face/plamed when I realized I had a crush on this person who I  absolutely love to hate. I ended up joining his forum, making a few  comments here and there, and just generally perusing his posts to see  another side of G that wasn’t connected to the negativity surrounding  his private life at the time. Eventually (we’re at mid to late August  now), I created a couple of topics of my own, one of which was directed  to the young girls writing depressing unrequited “love” stories –  telling them something to the effect of, “It’s okay to take your time in  choosing the right person for you. There are 7 billion people in this  world, you’re bound to find one who will treat you right”. G apparently  liked this, and left a comment jokingly asking me when we’re getting  married, and if Friday worked for me. Jokingly, I responded, “Yes and  yes”. He gave me his e-mail and the rest is YouTube history. I was curious, so I sent him an e-mail asking if we’re getting  married in LA or Austin, and within minutes he responded. We joked back  and forth until he was finally said something to the effect of, “Okay,  complete stranger! But if you want, I can fly you up here for a weekend,  we can hang out and you can watch me edit!”. The rapid rate at which  things were progressing was a little disconcerting for me, but I still  played along – my interest was peaked. I told him he should get to know  me better and then we can talk about me visiting him. I ended up giving  him my phone number, telling him it’s the easiest way to reach me,  should he care to get to know me better. Again, within minutes, he  contacted me. We texted back and forth until 3:00 AM, when I had to go  to bed. I honestly thought this was a one off shot at talking to him; I  did not expect to hear from him again. Wrong. He texted me later the next day, asking me to Skype with him when I got home from work and I agreed. Well,  I should of taken this entire Skype session as the worlds biggest red  flag. Because within not even 5 minutes of his disinterest in anything I  was saying, and him cutting off everything I said, by talking over me  with things pertaining to him – he proceeds to tell me the astronomical  amount of money he has to pay Skye within the next 7 years, and  followed that by telling me all about a certain popular YouTuber who has  mouth herpes, and another certain popular YouTuber who propositioned  him for a threesome (in graphic and gory detail, no less). You know,  information I should not be privy to, that he has no right telling me.  Then, after him spending most of the evening grilling me about my past  relationships – including such questions as “How many people have you  slept with?” – and cutting off my answers with unrelated stories about  himself, I realized it was 2:00 AM and I needed to go to bed. I tried to  say goodnight, but he started getting very ornery with me. Saying, and I  quote: “You know, if I keep talking to you, I am going to fall for you,  I hope you’re prepared for that. Are you going to let me down?”. Hoping  this behavior was unusual for him, that perhaps it was just a bad  night, and not wanting to completely run him off because I was curious  as to where this was leading, I told him I would not let him down. We  said goodnight, I sign off. The next day, we text back and forth while I’m at work. How cute! I  get home from work at around midnight and get a text saying, “I’m ready  to Skype when you are!”. I guess I didn’t get the memo that Skyping  every single night was a mandatory requirement here – so I politely  declined, citing that I was exhausted and didn’t feel or look my best,  and asked if we could reschedule for the following night. Again, with  the ornery behavior; he told me I wasn’t “fighting for love” (…who  fucking knows) and that someone who is genuinely interested in him (who  cares about me, right?) would want to Skype him all night – that  “a little exhaustion shouldn’t keep you from the one you love”. Please,  keep in mind that this was the third night I had ever spoken to this  man. Again, I politely declined and his response was him pulling away,  telling me that he can’t be with someone so emotionally vacant, and if I  want something real with him that I know where to find him and what I  have to do. So you know what I did? I went to bed. As I lacked enough vodka and  the ability to get so hammered that something like that might actually  make enough sense to stay up deal with it. I mean, Jesus Christ!  Within 3 days, this man made it pretty clear he wasn’t fond of the idea  of me drinking, yet I have never encountered anything or anyone who has  made me want to chug a handle of cheap vodka more than him. What’s even  scarier is that, even so, I liked the man! I genuinely liked him! What's  going on here?! I wake up the next morning to a series of texts from him saying that  he’s not right in the head, that he’s not over the e-fling he was  having with Miss menage a trois (or was it the ex-girlfriend from 10  years ago he had just started talking to again? I can’t fucking  remember), and that he isn’t going to be around or make himself  available to me anymore. I responded with a very cold and callous text,  telling him that I don’t appreciate being chewed up and spit back out,  especially when he isn’t the only one with feelings here. I told him if  this is what he wants, so be it, and I said goodbye. He called me immediately… to talk about the person he is upset over  – I wasn’t amused. He quickly realized that trying to manipulate me  into a jealous frenzy wasn’t working, and somehow managed to re-route  the conversation, and relevance of bringing up the other girl, into him  working things out with me – he was so sweet and charming, so I  accepted when he said he wanted another shot with me. We made a Skype  date for later that evening. This is where he tells me he is falling in love with me, tells me I  shouldn’t be afraid to love him too, and asked me to be his girlfriend.  Against my better judgement, I accepted – what can I say, I was smitten  with the boy. (He also asked me to marry him, but I just giggled it  off). He kept telling me how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how funny I  am – it had been a while since I’d heard anyone say those things to  me, and he knew that. He really punched a huge hole in my defensive  wall, and any remaining bricks of resistance he basically forced me to  tear down myself, with guilt trips (“You don’t really love me if you  don’t do this for me”) and scare tactics (“I don’t think I can be with  somebody who…”) – making me feel like there was something wrong with  me for not wanting his love or to love him in return. It was unnerving  and I felt vulnerable, but the damage had already been done – I went  along with it. He started asking me to move out to Los Angeles to live with him, so we  can give our relationship a fair shot. He said that everything would be  easier if we were face to face. I told him that this is all happening a  little too fast for my taste and that I would absolutely love to fly out  there for a weekend to spend time with him, to make sure us dating is  something either of us actually want, as we barely knew each other, but  he was not pleased with my answer. He became offended and upset. He  started making completely asinine statements, such as: “If I really  loved someone, I would give up everything to be with them. Love is the  most important thing in my life!”. To which I responded with, “If I  really loved someone and they really loved me, I would trust them not to  have unrealistic expectations of me like that”, and to completely  diffuse the situation, I smiled, flipped my hair, and told him, “Let's  hangout first and see what happens. Who knows, maybe I wont want to go home. Just be patient with me”. There was no arguing that, he settled down. It felt like the more I turned up my nose his attempts at  controlling the situation, the more extravagant his next attempt would  be. It was like the ultimate game of pong; back and forth, until one of  us would slip up, and then it’s game over. I want you to remember, this is still night 3 of us talking. Not 3 years, not 3 months, not 3 weeks, 3 days.  Please notice how he is already throwing the L word around – as if he  is using it to control me and invoke fear, rather than to express any  genuine feelings for me. Then the conversation got really warped and sexual. He started  asking me how I felt about uncircumcised penises, proceeded to tell me  about his, then ask me all sorts of sexual questions about myself. He  asked me about how I protect myself during sex, I told him I cannot find  a birth control pill that’s right for me, so I use condoms. I, however,  made the mistake of telling him that I am allergic to them, so  ultimately it ends up being painful for me. I joked around saying that  I’d rather be pregnant than use the alternative and shove lamb hide  inside of me, and I guess he took me seriously. Because he responded,  “Well, it’s settled, we wont use condoms them”. I asked him “What if I  get pregnant?”, and he told me we’d cross that bridge when we come to  it, and implied that having a mini-me might not be such a bad thing  later down the line. (I did not realize that he meant, like, 2 weeks). Even though I objected to or was offended by everything he was saying, I  didn’t have the emotional energy to be assertive and tell him how I  really felt – as, by this point, I was frightened by his unstable  emotions and was scared he might never speak to me again if I upset him.  I was utterly terrified of making him angry. In 3 days he had already  found ways to manipulate me and make me feel like my life would be  mundane and worthless without him being in it – I didn’t want to  challenge him. Oh, but then he tells me when we live together, we’re waiting a month before we have sex. Err. Eventually  he ended up telling me that one of the times him and Shiloh broke up  was because he had a problem jerking off to Hentai and she was disgusted  by it. Before I had time to finish being disgusted myself, finish  throwing up in my mouth and disconnect the call, he started talking  about just Shiloh. Even though I felt that indulging in more of  his trash-talking was a selfish and sleazy move on my part, once again,  curiosity got the better of me, and I set my morals aside to hear what  he had to say. He told me that Shiloh is a psychotic pathelogical liar – that  almost every word that comes out of her mouth is fabricated or designed  to hurt someone. I think it goes without saying that he told me he  didn’t believe she was pregnant and that she lied entirely about losing  her memory – that she admitted it to him later. He told me that she was  controlling and wouldn’t let him not only talk to other girls, but look  at them in movies (and I don’t mean the  Hentai kind, I mean summer  blockbuster kind). He told me that his tattoos were her idea – that she  wanted him to get them to recommit himself to her after one of the many  times they broke up. She got his name on the back of her neck and he  was supposed to get her name on his wrist, but he changed his mind at  the last second, after she had gotten hers, and chose something far more  vague; “Remember Love”. He told me that he was the only one she had  told about how she was born with both genitals, but somehow, as a baby,  opted for cosmetic surgery to go the female route. He told me that she  claimed to have lost her virginity to him, but believes that when she  told him she was “brutally raped” several times, that they were just her  ex-boyfriends and that she didn’t have the courage to admit to him that  she wasn’t a virgin. He told me when they were dating they would drive  to or meet up in any states they could where 17 was the legal age of  consent – they didn’t just meet up that one time, as they lead people  to believe with their videos. How’s this for messed up: he even went as  far as to tell me that his mother informed him that when they  were broken up but still living together – and G wouldn’t have sex with  her anymore (but would buy her sex toys and show her how to use them –  yes, I am serious) – that Shiloh tried to force his little dog to eat  her out, and the dog got scared, so it bit her in the crotch. Then he  said something about Shiloh peeing on his bed and blaming the dog? I  don’t even know, by this point I was terrified and stopped listening. It was time for me to fucking go to bed. (And just to put possible thoughts in the back of your mind to rest  – I have absolutely no beneficial reason to make any of this up in a private e-mail that, hopefully, only you  will be seeing. Hell, I don’t think I could make this up if I wanted  to, man. I am telling you about the “reconstructive surgery” and alleged  beastiality in the strictest of  confidence, as means of you understanding how seriously warped and disgusting these people are! True or not, it’s all sickening!) Anyway, as I was saying, I went off to bed and tried to pretend like that didn’t just happen. Somewhere  within the next few days, we have *gasp* another completely ridiculous  and unnecessary argument, started entirely by him. As per usual, it  involved Skype! I guess I had forgotten about the mandatory Skype requirements of being  his girlfriend and naively made plans to hang out with my friends,  instead of Skype all night with him. Even though I gave him an advance  warning that I wouldn’t be able to chat, I was being foolish and thought  maybe he could salvage his night and go do something fun himself.  Unacceptable. He immediately calls me to tell me that I don’t truly love  him, that once again, I am not “fighting for love”. He told me he  doesn’t understand how I can choose my friends over him, that in order  to be with him, that I “have to prioritize him over everyone”.  Then we ended up getting into this additional argument where I asked  him, “What’s going to happen if we live together and I want to go out  with my friends one night?”. His response was, “Well, I’ll go with! We  are supposed to do everything together!”. I added, “I meant without  you”. He told me he thought I was being shady and he doesn’t deserve to  be treated like this. Even though I thought he was acting like a 5 year  old cult leader in the making, we played phone tag for about an hour –  eventually I got him on the line long enough to tell him that  friendships require constant maintenance and I am not going to neglect  the people I love because he is insecure with being left alone for a  little while. I told him that when I said I am not going to neglect the  people I love, that I meant him as well – that there is such a thing as  time management. I told him that healthy adult couples require time  apart – what’s the point is having me share my life with him, when I  have no life, other than HIM, to share; he might as well date himself. Did I mention that during all of this, my friends had come to my  house and were sitting in the living room waiting for me while I was  arguing with G? And eventually I became so overwhelmingly frustrated  that I had to send them home, ultimately to buckle under the pressure  and Skype him. But hey, I scratch his back, he scratches mine, right? I  Skyped like he wanted, so in return he admitted I was right, that he was  acting childish and that I can hang out with my friends whenever I  want. Thanks. Even though a few days later, he pulled the same stunt,  but this time I was at my friends house, not at home and completely  unable to Skype even if I wanted to. Since I was preoccupied and unable to tend to my phone blowing up  with calls and texts every 5 minutes, he started making ridiculous  ultimatums and demands that had absolutely nothing to do with anything  – “You tell me RIGHT NOW that you’re going to move here in a week or  IT’S OVER! THIS IS THE FINAL TIME!”. Huh? That’s when the countdown  started – “You have ONE HOUR TO ANSWER ME OR IT’S DONE FOR GOOD!”…  “46 minutes!”… “32 minutes!”… “16 minutes!”. I shit you not, this happened. So, at this point I proceeded to get obliterated, hammered, fall on  my ass, piss drunk and send him pictures of Chocobo as my responses. As  I’m sure you can imagine, that didn’t go over too well. From that  point on details are fuzzy, but I do know that I ended up calling him  at 2 in the morning crying uncontrollably and screaming at him for  hours. Apparently, according to him, I reamed him a new one and he  learned his lesson to never try and come between me and my friends. It  was never an issue from that moment on. Over the next day or so, things finally felt, well, as stable as  they possibly could. And what I mean by that is that G wasn't  unnecessarily angry with me over nothing, which meant that I could  breathe easy. So, I was making friendly banter with him, via text  message. I told him I was excited because I just ordered new jewelry for  my septum piercing, because one of the little balls unscrewed and fell  off, so I had to wear the jewelry flipped up. Even though he knew I had a  septum piercing before he asked me to be his girlfriend, he proceeded  to tell me that he thinks they are ugly and implied that he thought I  should take it out, because it is “disrespecting my body”. I became unequivocally, unabashedly, downright fucking furious that I  went off on him. I told him that he has absolutely no right to try and  change how I look, or who I am, and that if he really “loves” ME, he  would love and accept all of me. That there’s no ‘buts’ when it  comes to love; love is unconditional or it’s not love at all. Then he  got angry, then I got angrier, then he got even more angry than that.  Then, as expected, he dumped me, and I spent the next couple of hours  ignoring his angry texts and frantic phone calls – until his fury  filled mania subsided and he realized how ridiculous he was being and  called me crying, to apologize for everything. I decided not to just  grin and bear it like I have in the past, but to be completely honest  with him. I reminded him that I am a 26 year old adult, who is far more  experienced not only in relationships, but life, than he is and that I  know when I’m being manipulated. That every word that comes out of his  mouth is his way of trying to manipulate me into giving him something he  wants – I said to him, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to ask, instead of  fighting for it all the time?”. I told him that I am willing to  compromise in certain areas, for the sake of maintaining a healthy and  functional relationship where both parties are satisfied, but I  absolutely refuse to change myself or who I am, merely  to accommodate  someone’s overly sensitive ego. He toggled between crying, and being silly ‘I’m a banana’ G – he didn't  know how to process what I had said to him. He told me that no one has  ever spoken to him the way I have before, that I was right – every word  out of his mouth was him trying to manipulate me, that he is a very  conniving and manipulative person. He told me that he’s not used to  dating women, that in relationships, he’s used to playing  babysitter,[…]. He told me that my independence and free will scare him and  he doesn’t know how to handle it. He also expressed to me that he wasn’t used to having to keep his  private life private, that he was used his significant other being  actively involved in his YouTube “career” – as I had asked him to keep  everything between us private. Which I think is funny, looking at his  most recent videos where he is begging for the privacy I begged him for a  month or so ago. Anyway, we made up. A few days of peace and quiet went by, until he  started demanding I move out there again. I told him I can’t do that,  but rather, I want to meet him face to face and spend some quality  bonding time first. He told me to ask my boss for time off, I agreed. It took me forever to get my boss to respond to me, but more or less, he  told me he couldn’t give me any up coming weekends fully off. So G  booked a plane ticket for him to come out here. He also booked a hotel  room, because he didn’t “feel comfortable intruding on my roommates  house” – riiiiiight.  This all brought me back to that period of time, a few weeks prior,  where I was watching his videos on youTube, wondering what it was like  to be in Shiloh’s shoes – strangely enough, now I know. So, G  flies out here. Get’s his rental car and comes to my house to pick me  up. In a black mustache and his Chibi wig – I thought it might break  the ice if we both looked ridiculous when we met, so I had on a black  mustache too. It honestly just made everything more uncomfortable.  Especially when our mustaches got tangled, which made for an awkward  first kiss. A kiss that happened in the first 10 seconds of us meeting. We drove back to his hotel room, we walk in the door, I set down my bag  and instantaneously he starts making out with me. He immediately starts  taking off articles of my clothing, and we had only been there for not  even 30 seconds. He gets me on the bed, still kissing me and touching me  – between his kisses was me going “nononononono”, and him kissing me  harder to shut me up. I finally pull away long enough to remind him that  he said we were supposed to wait a month, and that maybe we should get  to know each other in person a day or two before we jump into having  sex. He asks me “Why?” as he continues kissing me. Eventually I realized  I was fighting an uphill battle, so I gave up and just went with it. (I’ve already said this on my Google+, but I want to reiterate that he  did not rape me – but there is a fine line between being forced to do  something and being pressured to do something. I just felt rushed is  all.) During sex, he’s looking me in the eye, petting my hair, and asking  me if I want him to cum in me. I told him only if we can get Plan B in  the morning. He looks at me with these disappointed and frustrated eyes,  and says “Don’t you want to be pregnant with my child? Come on, let's  make babies together!”, I told him absolutely not. And he still came in  me anyway. Luckily for me, he’s not that big of a creeper that he  refused to get me Plan B the next morning. Basically the first 2 days of him being in Austin was him repeatedly  trying to have sex with me, cutting off everything I was saying to ask  me a sexual question or to make a sexual innuendo. It got to the point  that we got into an argument about it, because it was legitimately  starting to hurt my feelings. For some reason or another, he would take  me being frustrated and argumentative as a sexual challenge, and would  pin me to the bed and basically try to fuck me (or, as he says, “make  love”) into submission. It became pointless to try and fight it, so I  let him do whatever he wanted – which resulted in him cumming in me  countless times after the Plan B had worn off. With him citing: “If you  get pregnant, I will immediately marry you and will step up as the role  of the father for our child”. What a turn on. Oh well, c'est la vie when you’re involved in the life of this man. I suppose. Later  that evening, morbid curiosity struck again – I knew all about Shiloh,  but what about Skye? After we had finished “making love” for the  umpteenth time, and were rolling around in the sheets, I asked him what  kept him with Skye for so long, for him to tell me about her. […] I legitimately felt so bad for Skye that I had to tell him to stop  talking and that I’d heard enough. At least the Shiloh stuff was  laughable, this was just sad. I made him put in Star Trek and change the subject. After the first day or two of him being in Austin, he legitimately  asked me to marry him. He told me that when I move out there, we’ll go  ring shopping. He offered me the moon and the stars, and promised to be  everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend, fiance or husband – that  the only thing causing problems is the distance between us and to just  give him a chance. We decided that I, indeed, would move out there –  that at the end of that month (it was September 10th at this point) he  would drive out to Austin, we’d pick up my belongings, drive back and  live happily ever after. I had asked him about my animals – as he said, he did, in fact,  offer to pay for the pet deposit at his apartment to bring my animals.  but he followed that statement with telling me how unbelievably  expensive it will be and how there is no room for my animals, and  nowhere to put their litterbox. What else was I supposed to do? I  clearly couldn’t bring them. However, I also asked him about job related stuff and money – he  told me that I could work for him, run the contact page on his forum and  respond to people that he didn’t have time to respond to himself, and  that he would pay me for it. He also told me he would teach me to edit  videos, so I could help him get his stuff out faster, since apparently  YouTube has him on a deadline. (I guess? I don’t understand this YouTube  crap). He said I could do this permanently, since apparently his money  would be mine if we are engaged, or I could do this until I was able to  land a job of my own elsewhere. I mean, have a couple of close friends who live in LA, who I know would  help me should I go out there and things end up in disaster – so I  decided to just go for it. Regardless of some kinks here and  there, how outlandish the entire situation was, and the fact that he had  been trash-talking and farting all evening, things seemed like they  were falling into place, like me and him had a real chance this time.  Maybe he had a point all along. Because, truth be told, I did feel a  sense of validation having him in front of me, without him being a  mish-mash of text and pixels. What a fucking mistake. It took just 12 hours for all of that to unravel. Do you want to know what I had to fucking deal with the next day? Oh my GOD! First  of all, let me just say that G talks in his sleep. Like, continuously  throughout the night, clear as day and loud as hell, so it took me until  dawn to finally fall into a deep sleep. But, oh my GOD, I’ve been dying  to tell someone this aside from my best friends in real life! Let me  tell you how I woke up the next morning! Please grab a towel to sit on  before you read this, because you will pee yourself with laughter. I don’t know how I managed to keep my composure when it was happening to me. *G shaking and tapping me* Me: I roll over, sleepy eyed, “What?!” Him: “Do you suck me?!” Me: “Wha… no?…?!?!?! What the fuck?!”, I roll over and go back to sleep. I  wish you could hear how he says it. He refers to blowjays as being  “sucked on”. Ugh, ew! When he wants a beej, he goes, “Suck me?!”. He  says it kind of like an Asian man at a restaurant, asking you if you  would like some additional “Suk mi” with your order. And he always says  it with a raised inflection on the “me”, so it always sounds like a  question. It is really very tragic. I slept for another hour or so, until he woke me up a second time –  asking, “Are you mad at me?!”. Once again, my response was more or  less: “Whaaa…??? No?!?! I am asleep, what the fuck are you talking  about?!?!” – and I rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep. He  told me that he had a bad dream, where we were fighting, and he needed  me to “love him” and “hold him now” (Yes, like the Thompson Twins song),  because he was “scared”. This was completely beyond me, this was too  stupid for even me to put up with. I told him I was fucking asleep,  I have no idea what he’s talking about, and that he’s being ridiculous  and to go back to bed. He responded by angrily turning over and covering  his head with the blanket. Like a 5 year old. I rolled my eyes and went  back to sleep. I wake up a couple hours later, still slightly annoyed, but hopped in  the shower and proceeded to get dressed and ready anyways, so by the  time G woke up, we’d be able to go out for lunch like we had made plans  to do the night before. I wasn’t going to let anything ruin my last full  day with him. He, however, had other plans. I was sitting behind a partition in the room, finishing up the last  little bit of my makeup, when I hear, “ADRIENNE?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!”. To  which I replied, as would anyone else with a firm grasp on the English  language and possibly reality, “What?!”. WELL, that was the final straw for HIM, let me tell you! He doesn’t respond, so I figure something is wrong. I walk out from  behind the partition and he is curled up in a ball, on the bed, with the  blanket pulled up to his eyes, on the verge of tears. At this point,  I’ve dealt with far beyond my maximum capacity of this premenstrual,  crybaby, bullshit for the day, and bluntly ask him, “What the fuck are  you doing?!”. He ignored me for around 5 minutes, while I am asking him  such questions as: “Are you seriously mad because I responded with  “WHAT” when you called my name? What the fuck did you expect me to do,  bust out in song and dance?!“, "Are you still seriously upset about this  morning?”, “Why the hell are you crying?!”. He finally responded… “Never in my life have I met someone as unloving as you. I came to  you this morning, scared, looking for you to hold me, but you have not  loved me. I did not like how you said "What” to me, it was angry and  violent. I don’t deserve to be treated this way”. My response? A 30 second pause, followed by: “……………………. are you fucking for real?!?!?!?!?!?!”. The  argument went round in circles, until he realized I wasn’t going to let  him win and I wasn’t going to back down. So, he proceeded to call me a  troll, and go on a tirade of character insults, until I zoned him out  and started texting my friends that I might need rescuing shortly, that  he has officially lost his mind. I warned him that if this didn’t stop I  would leave, but he kept pressing the issue, and remained curled in a  ball, and hiding under the blankets. I told him that I wasn’t going to  spend my day off that I could of been at work making much needed money, or at the very least going out and enjoying the day,  sitting in a dark room with someone who is crying and insulting me. So,  again, I tell him his options are stop, or I respond to one of my 4  friends on standby, waiting for me to give the word to come get me. Even  STILL, I hovered my finger over the send button, and I said, “This is  your last chance, all I have to do is hit send – are you done?”. Nope! *sent* Then he was actually surprised when I was gathering my things and  making my way towards the door, he dumped me right before I left. I told  him HE did this, HE chose this, NOT ME. As I was walking out, I told him, “Call me when you grow up” and slammed the door. I was home within 15 minutes. I checked his facebook and saw that he was taking one of his long  showers, that usually last a couple of hours or so. I figured he’d calm  down and contact me to come back later, so I waited around, kept my  phone close by. Well, he DID text me, and told me he bought a plane  ticket to leave later that evening, that he couldn’t bear to be in  Austin all by himself. Even though his flight left the next morning,  but… okay. I decided to call him, because even though he had just spent the morning emotionally tormenting me, and he dumped me,  I didn’t want him departing Austin on such a horrible note. So, we  talked and he told me that the ticket for that afternoon is already  purchased, but he still has the ticket reserved for the next morning, he  asked me if I wanted to come back to the hotel and talk things through,  I said yes. Well, I get there and he is still being horribly argumentative with me. I  tried to remain calm, levelheaded, rational and do the whole 'kill 'em  with kindness’ shtick – I couldn’t hold out for very long, he pushed my  buttons too many times. I snapped on him. I went off on a tirade of my own. “Are you fucking serious right  now? You are a 25 year old grown adult and you’re sitting here, curled  up in a ball, crying, with the blankets pulled over your head. And WHY?  Because I didn’t want to cuddle you this morning? Are you fucking for  real? Do you know how pathetic that is?! You’re a grown fucking man, and  you can’t even stand up for yourself. You know, when we get into  arguments, I’d rather you punch me in the fucking face, than sit here  and cry like a little BITCH!”. It was so strange, yet miraculous – there was this pause and then he looked up at me with these Puss-in-Boots eyes (example: click here),  and said, “Oh my GOD, you’re right!” and snapped out of it. Even though  he was pretty quiet the rest of the evening, we had a great time.  Everything was fine! Even the next morning before he left, he told me  once again that I am the first person to talk to him and treat him like  an adult, like an equal, and that he owes me so much for how much I've  apparently helped him grow in the short time we’d been together so far.  We spent the rest of the morning talking about our move. He dropped me  off at home, we had a romantic goodbye kiss, and off he went to the  airport. This story is getting ridiculously long and time consuming, so let  me just say that he was awesome over the next couple of days, he pretended like he understood and cared about my emotional needs very well. But, as always, his insecurities and subsequential mania got the best of him. To make another long mini story in this gargantuan novel I’ve written  short – a few nights later, G decided randomly one evening, while I was  at work, and certainly not intoxicated, that he did not like  that I occasionally drink (even though in the hotel we discussed my  past, and he told me that my past is exactly that – as long as it stays  that way, we’ll be fine – I took his word for it. Ooops!). The only  thing I can think of that spawned his sudden “revelation” was that I  made it pretty clear one of the stipulations in regards to me moving, is  that he has to give me adequate time to say goodbye to my  friends, to have some alone time with them before he came out to Austin  to pick me and my belongings up, to share some goodbye dinner and drink nights with them.  He couldn’t understand that me wanting alone time with my friends was  not a suggestion that I didn’t want to spend time with him as well. Either way, he decided to call me several times at work, to where I had  to walk outside and talk to him, JUST to get my phone to STOP ringing or  vibrating – he made up this ridiculous ultimatum for me; either I  promise him right now that I will forever quit drinking, or were over. I  told him he is being completely ridiculous and there’s no need to even  be having this conversation right now. Still, I humored him and tried to  reason with him; I told him I would not promise him anything, that he  should just learn to trust me to not put myself into situations where a  drunken Adrienne can make poor decisions and that he should trust me to  do right by him. He responded with, “You’re absolutely right, but I  don’t think that I can date someone knowing they drink, I don’t think  we’ can be together, but I’m not dumping you”. He literally held a  conversation with himself consisting of that same sentence repeated, but  worded slightly different every time he said it. He then told me he made a facebook poll, asking his fans if they would  quit drinking if their significant other asked them to. He said, “Only  99 people said no, a few thousand said yes! What does that say to you?”.  I told him, “It says absolutely nothing – your viewer demographic  consists mostly of 16 year olds, who not only have no realistic life  experience, nor any relationship experience, they also are not of legal  age to drink and have no place participating in a poll talking about  alcohol consumption”. Pwned. And, thus, he deleted it. Still, this shit went on for hours, until he realized that, once again, he isn’t going to win, so he temporarily backed off. Honestly,  dude? So much nonsensical bullshit went on between us that what happens  after this, up until the last time we spoke is all one big blur.  However, something after this night happened, God only knows what  it was, that, once again, upset him. I remember us arguing, I remember  that once again I got dumped and once again he started sending me 5 part  texts messages saying how much he loves me, but he can’t handle being  “treated this way” anymore. I’m sure he told me I was being violent when  I was speaking to him calmly, I’m sure he said I’m disrespecting him  when he’s telling me everything that’s wrong with me, I’m sure he said  things like: “This is the final time!” and “You have not fought for  love!”. Blah, blah, blah. Basically, he called me and told me that if I  didn’t “drop everything” to go be with him in Los Angeles right now  (even though I was moving there in 2 or 3 weeks anyways), that this was  over and there was “no point”. What was scary is that he wasn’t being  frantic like he normally is when we fight, he was saying these things to  me as calmly and collected as if he were asking me the time of day.  this change in attitude made me start to panic, because I didn't  know how to handle it. So, for fear of losing him, or at the very least  losing him without having the upper hand and feeling rejected, I  entertained the idea of complying with his wishes. I asked him about my animals, he told me to figure it out myself. I  asked him about my job and money, he said figure it out yourself. I  asked him about my belongings, he asked me if I really need them and  then told me to figure it out myself. He told me the only thing he was  willing to help me with was the plane ticket there. I told him I’d do  what he wanted if he compromised a little bit – I told him there is  absolutely no way I am giving up my belongings, he said pack them up and  store them and he’ll pay for them to get shipped in a few weeks. I  asked him about working for him until I get my own job – he said the  offer still stands. My only real issues were re-homing my animals and  quitting my job – the latter I stalled on doing, out of fear that  something would go wrong and I’d be homeless and jobless. He gave me one week from that day to sort everything out and went ahead and bought my plane ticket. I  waited a couple of days, to see if he’d change his mind – but he  seemed happy and  things felt normal. So I went into work with the  intent of quitting, and I sent him a text saying, “I am about to quit my  job, you know this is real and official if I do – you have to PROMISE  ME that you’re not going to change your mind on this, and that I am not  going to end up without a home or means to support myself”. He promised,  I quit my job. As always, things went horribly, horribly wrong. A day later,  or perhaps it was even that same night, I went to my friends house and  paid for his fiance, who is a licensed massage therapist to fix my neck,  shoulders and back, because I have chronic pain issues (which G knows  about). He was fine with this, he was fine with me not Skyping him (in  fact he had laid off since he knew I was going out there in a few days,  and let me do whatever I wanted without bitching about it). It was when I  went home and made a facebook status update on my friends only, private  account – referring to my massage as a “sensual” one in an obviously  joking manner that he got upset. He saw my status, and called me, just  short of screaming. He started telling me that I have disrespected, and  publicly humiliated him, because I was writing inappropriate things on  my personal facebook. He told me that because I am bisexual, that by  nature I am inclined to be promiscuous and that I shouldn’t let anyone  but him touch me. That because I am bisexual, I cannot be trusted –  that I have been inappropriate with a member of one of the sexes I am  attracted to. (One of the, uh, two sexes that actually exist). I was so beyond flabbergasted that I made another status update, vaguely  saying that I can’t be trusted because I am bisexual. Yes, this was  unwise and very immature. My friends, not knowing who or what this was  about, commented on it, saying that whoever thinks that was is a  misinformed douchebag. He read all of the comments and felt like a  complete dipshit and got even more frustrated, except with himself, not  me – but of course, I bore the brunt of this. He dumped me. Again. Regardless of what he has said and done to me, I felt bad for hurting  his feelings and tried desperately to rationalize with me. I BEGGED him  to Skype with me. He finally accepted my video call, and all he did was  stare angrily into the camera at me and say absolutely nothing. So, I  tried making cute faces to make him smile, but he disconnected the call  and texted me saying that I disrespected him by mocking him. I asked him  again to Skype me, he refused. I messaged him on Skype to try and get  him to at least chat with me, he refused. He deleted me off his personal  facebook, so I sent him a message, he ignored it. I sent an e-mail to  his personal and business acounts apologizing for hurting his feelings  (which he didn’t deserve, but I also didn’t deserve being dumped),  begging him to talk to me. I called him multiple times, no answer. All I  got was a couple of texts saying that we’re over and he never wants to  speak to me again. Considering the severity of the situation, I decided  to back off and heed his wishes. I deleted all of his contact  information, from my phone or otherwise – as I said on Google+, I  ubsubscriped, unliked, unfollowed, and unfriended everything I could  think of. Basically exactly what I said on that infamous post on my  Google+ sums it up from that point on. He called me a few times while I was asleep, made that video of him  calling me while I was asleep, and texted me the next morning breaking  up with me yet again, though I had not spoken to him since the night  before. I went back to work, and as I wrote on Google+, and begged for my job  back. I told him the night before, that he has until 5:00 pm the next  day to change his mind about breaking up with me, because once I get my  job back I’m not quitting it again. Of course at 6:00 pm is when he  started frantically trying to contact me. Texting me, telling me he  needs to me save him, that he is dead. He started psycho dialing me  shortly after. Still, I was busy at work and decided to leave well  enough alone for the time being. When I finally found some down time at work, I texted him back. I asked  him what he was trying to accomplish by texting me, that he was the one  who broke up with me. I more or less conveyed to him that you can only  keep pushing someone away before one that, they don’t come back. That's  when his snarky STD commentary on his facebook and twitter started.  That’s where the STD test videos began. I was unaware of any of this  until I had gotten home from work – that’s when I wrote the Google+  post. I backed away, turned off my computer, and ignored anything having  to do with the situation. It was the next night, while hanging out at a friends house, that I  was formed of his continued immaturity and attempted smear campaign, so I  decided to sign on facebook and check it out for myself while I had the  support of my friends. That’s when the plot thickened – I saw that  Shiloh had added me to her personal account, and had sent me a message  saying that she saw what I wrote on my Google+, that she went through  the exact same thing with him and that if I need someone to talk to,  she’s there for me. Again, with the whole morbid curiosity thing – I  added her back, thanked her for her support and gave her my number and  told her to call me if she ever feels so inclined. Well, she felt  inclined 15 minutes later, unfortunately I was busy and unable to answer  the call. I figured I’d call her back the next day. And oh, that next day. Where I started my day talking to  Shiloh on the phone, and ended it with a 10 hour period of time, he  called me 27 times, left 13 voicemails, 10 texts, 4 videos, 4 comments  on Google+, an e-mail and a facebook message. There is probably more  that I am forgetting, but you get the point. In between this, I had  Shiloh calling me several times as well, because he was also calling  her, in the midst of calling me. I ended my night by drunkenly Skyping  her, making fun of his “shortcomings”, while Shiloh acted out with her  roommate how G would scream […]’s sisters name when they had sex – he  apparently told her that he used to fantasize about sleeping with […]'s  sister when they were married, and accidentally would call out […]'s  sister’s name when he would sleep with Shiloh. She also told me that  night that her and G had been seeing each other, or “talking” for a  year, prior to when they broke up (and had said it several other times  in various other conversations we had). They broke up in July, didn’t he  file for divorce from Skye in January? Again, I just feel bad for Skye. In G’s 13 voicemails (of which I have downloaded, saved  to a flash drive, and have made an explanatory video, featuring all of  the voicemails back to back, I was going to upload on YouTube if I  needed to – thanks to the wonders of Google Voice) – he starts of by  telling me that almost everything I am saying is accurate and true. That  he is truly sorry for all he has done, that he loves me, and more or  less is begging for me to take him back. That he hasn’t canceled the  plane ticket and if I text him and tell him I’m boarding the plane,  he’ll be there waiting to pick me up with flowers in hand. After that he  decides to randomly tell my voicemail how he had called Shiloh earlier  in the day to discuss her apparent pregnancy, and because she wouldn't  pee on a pregnancy test in front of him on Skype, that she wasn’t really  pregnant and that, “Yay! I’m not a Daddy”, or something to that effect.  Then towards the end, he starts going down a depressing, and  increasingly angry, spiral. The last voicemail threatening to “expose  me”, because he is angry with me for not responding to him in a whopping  10 hour period of time. He took it upon himself to post on his website a  completely unrelated LiveJournal entry I had made months prior,  directed towards the girl my ex-boyfriend left me for – as a rebuttal  to something she had written me. However, he, as well as most of his  followers, quickly realized he is an idiot and he deleted it an  hour later. After that he started sending me texts saying I don’t know  true love and he feels sorry for me, “Goodbye”, etc. Still, after all of  this, I did not respond or try to contact him one time. Over the next day or so, Shiloh called me REPEATEDLY (sometimes  crying hysterically), apparently seeking my advice on how she should  handle G, because apparently he was now doing the same thing to her,  that he had just done to me. Calling her repeatedly, saying how much he  loves and misses her, and is begging for her back. I even have a  voicemail she left me, saying that this was the 16th time he had called  her that day. He told her he had bought her a plane ticket (aka: got a  credit for the ticket he bought for me that was unused) to see him in  the next couple of days. She was calling me for willpower to say no to  his advances, but apparently my advice fell on deaf ears and her past  experiences were not enough to sway her from falling into his trap.  Though it was a trap she was seeking out – She made it very clear she  was only prying for information from both of us, to wedge herself  between us and utilize me as a stepping stool to get closer to him. That  blog post she made (and deleted shortly after) about us being friends  was complete rubbish – as days later she was making videos in his room,  on his camera, making fun of my private parts. When I had never said or  did anything to this girl to deserve being treated so poorly. In fact,  all I had ever done was try to be her friend and be supportive of her. She told me that she was going to  fly to go stay with her Mother (she also apparently told her Mother  this as well) to think things through. She even called me from the  airport, saying she was waiting to board her plane and was telling me  how excited she was to see her mother. When in reality, she knew full  well she was boarding a plane to go see G. When I got the Facebook message from her mother, confirming that she  was with G – I posted on Shiloh’s wall, saying that she didn’t need to  lie to me, what she chooses to do in her personal life is her business  – but that she needs to know if this fails, she has no one to blame but  herself this time and that I am removing myself from the situation. I  told her I wish her the best and deleted her as a friend. Aside from the  aforementioned videos, I never heard from her again.

Even  after being contacted by [redacted] and being told that the entire  time he was with me, he was trying to win back Skye, or today when I  noticed a facebook message sent a week into our relationship, from a  girl trying to warn me, claiming he was cybering her while he was with  Shiloh, and with me, all while trying to win back Skye – after all of  this, I just keep my mouth shut and remain backed away from the  situation. Due to the outpouring of support, I realized that people are  catching on and that I no longer needed to say anything – They are  digging their own graves. It’s just so unfortunate. I know I wrote primarily about the  negative aspects of our short lived relationship, but if there weren't  positives (and for fucks sake, with the amount of crap I had to deal  with, earth shattering, world rocking, positives), I wouldn’t of  stuck around through all of it. I really liked the boy, what can I say?  Against my better judgement, I really wanted it to work. I tried as best  as I knew how. What really sucks? We all know going through a breakup is bad enough,  but going through a breakup with hundreds of thousands of people being  involved? Mindfuck, much? There is my story. The sad thing is there is still more I could write about, but my brain is starting to throb. If you have any questions or want me to elaborate on anything,  please feel free to ask. Also: I apologize in advance for the  inconsistencies of writing formats, but I’ve been typing this off an on  for a good day or so, it was hard to keep the flow going.

#onision #anti-o #anti-onision #laineybot #adrienne #the letter

[leftpress]

GET READY FOR THE FIRST SHOCKS OF TRUMP’S DISASTER CAPITALISM

Photo: Craig Warga/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Naomi Klein | January 24 2017

WE ALREADY KNOW that the Trump administration plans to deregulate markets, wage all-out war on “radical Islamic terrorism,” trash climate science and unleash a fossil-fuel frenzy. It’s a vision that can be counted on to generate a tsunami of crises and shocks: economic shocks, as market bubbles burst; security shocks, as blowback from foreign belligerence comes home; weather shocks, as our climate is further destabilized; and industrial shocks, as oil pipelines spill and rigs collapse, which they tend to do, especially when enjoying light-touch regulation.

All this is dangerous enough. What’s even worse is the way the Trump administration can be counted on to exploit these shocks politically and economically.

Speculation is unnecessary. All that’s required is a little knowledge of recent history. Ten years ago, I published “The Shock Doctrine,” a history of the ways in which crises have been systematically exploited over the last half century to further a radical pro-corporate agenda. The book begins and ends with the response to Hurricane Katrina, because it stands as such a harrowing blueprint for disaster capitalism.

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That’s relevant because of the central, if little-recalled role played by the man who is now the U.S. vice president, Mike Pence. At the time Katrina hit New Orleans, Pence was chairman of the powerful and highly ideological Republican Study Committee. On September 13, 2005 — just 14 days after the levees were breached and with parts of New Orleans still underwater — the RSC convened a fateful meeting at the offices of the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C.

Under Pence’s leadership, the group came up with a list of “Pro-Free-Market Ideas for Responding to Hurricane Katrina and High Gas Prices” — 32 policies in all, each one straight out of the disaster capitalism playbook.

Vehicles form a line at an Exxon gas station off of Interstate 55 in Jackson, Miss., Aug. 30, 2005. The station was one of the few in the city with both power and gas one day after Hurricane Katrina made landfall.

Photo: Rick Guy/The Calrion Ledger/AP

To get a sense of how the Trump administration will respond to its first crises, it’s worth reading the list in full (and noting Pence’s name right at the bottom).

What stands out in the package of pseudo “relief” policies is the commitment to wage all-out war on labor standards and on the public sphere — which is ironic because the failure of public infrastructure is what turned Katrina into a human catastrophe. Also notable is the determination to use any opportunity to strengthen the hand of the oil and gas industry.

The first three items on the RSC list are “automatically suspend Davis-Bacon prevailing wage laws in disaster areas,” a reference to the law that required federal contractors to pay a living wage; “make the entire affected area a flat-tax free-enterprise zone”; and “make the entire region an economic competitiveness zone (comprehensive tax incentives and waiving of regulations).”

Another demand called for giving parents vouchers to use at charter schools, a move perfectly in line with the vision held by Trump’s pick for education secretary, Betsy DeVos.

All these measures were announced by President George W. Bush within the week. Under pressure, Bush was eventually forced to reinstate the labor standards, though they were largely ignored by contractors. There is every reason to believe this will be the model for the multibillion-dollar infrastructure investments Trump is using to court the labor movement. Repealing Davis-Bacon for those projects was reportedly already floated at Monday’s meeting with leaders of construction and building trade unions.

Back in 2005, the Republican Study Committee meeting produced more ideas that gained presidential support. Climate scientists have directly linked the increased intensity of hurricanes to warming ocean temperatures. This connection, however, didn’t stop Pence and the RSC from calling on Congress to repeal environmental regulations on the Gulf Coast, give permission for new oil refineries in the United States, and to greenlight “drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.”

All these measures are a surefire way to drive up greenhouse gas emissions, the major human contributor to climate change, yet they were immediately championed by the president under the guise of responding to a devastating storm.

The oil industry wasn’t the only one to profit from Hurricane Katrina, of course. So did a slew of well-connected contractors, who turned the Gulf Coast into a laboratory for privatized disaster response.

The companies that snatched up the biggest contracts were the familiar gang from the invasion of Iraq: Halliburton’s KBR unit won a $60 million gig to reconstruct military bases along the coast. Blackwater was hired to protect FEMA employees from looters. Parsons, infamous for its sloppy Iraq work, was brought in for a major bridge construction project in Mississippi. Fluor, Shaw, Bechtel, CH2M Hill — all top contractors in Iraq — were hired by the government to provide mobile homes to evacuees just 10 days after the levees broke. Their contracts ended up totaling $3.4 billion, no open bidding required.

And no opportunity for profit was left untapped. Kenyon, a division of the mega funeral conglomerate Service Corporation International (a major Bush campaign donor), was hired to retrieve the dead from homes and streets. The work was extraordinarily slow, and bodies were left in the broiling sun for days. Emergency workers and local volunteer morticians were forbidden to step in to help because handling the bodies impinged on Kenyon’s commercial territory.

And as with so many of Trump’s decisions so far, relevant experience often appeared to have nothing to do with how contracts were allocated. AshBritt, a company paid half a billion dollars to remove debris, reportedly didn’t own a single dump truck and farmed out the entire job to contractors.

People wait for assistance after being rescued from their homes a day earlier in the Ninth Ward as a small fire burns after Hurricane Katrina, Aug. 31, 2005, in New Orleans.

Photo: Mario Tama/Getty Images

Even more striking was the company that FEMA paid $5.2 million to perform the crucial role of building a base camp for emergency workers in St. Bernard Parish, a suburb of New Orleans. The camp construction fell behind schedule and was never completed. When the contractor was investigated, it emerged that the company, Lighthouse Disaster Relief, was actually a religious group. “About the closest thing I have done to this is just organize a youth camp with my church,” confessed Lighthouse’s director, Pastor Gary Heldreth.

After all the layers of subcontractors had taken their cut, there was next to nothing left for the people doing the work. For instance, the author Mike Davis tracked the way FEMA paid Shaw $175 a square foot to install blue tarps on damaged roofs, even though the tarps themselves were provided by the government. Once all the subcontractors took their share, the workers who actually hammered in the tarps were paid as little as $2 a square foot. “Every level of the contracting food chain, in other words, is grotesquely overfed except the bottom rung,” Davis wrote, “where the actual work is carried out.”

In Mississippi, a class-action lawsuit forced several companies to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in back wages to immigrant workers. Some were not paid at all. On one Halliburton/KBR job site, undocumented immigrant workers reported being wakened in the middle of the night by their employer (a sub-subcontractor), who allegedly told them that immigration agents were on their way. Most workers fled to avoid arrest.

This corruption and abuse is particularly relevant because of Trump’s stated plan to contract out much of his infrastructure spending to private players in so-called public-private partnerships.

In the Katrina aftermath, the attacks on vulnerable people, carried out in the name of reconstruction and relief, did not stop there. In order to offset the tens of billions going to private companies in contracts and tax breaks, in November 2005 the Republican-controlled Congress announced that it needed to cut $40 billion from the federal budget. Among the programs that were slashed were student loans, Medicaid, and food stamps. In other words, the poorest people in the United States subsidized the contractor bonanza twice: first, when Katrina relief morphed into unregulated corporate handouts, providing neither decent jobs nor functional public services; and, second, when the few programs that directly assist the unemployed and working poor nationwide were gutted to pay those bloated bills.

Jenny Bullard carries a pair of boots from her home, which was damaged by a tornado, Jan. 22, 2017, in Adel, Ga.

Photo: Branden Camp/AP

This is the disaster capitalism blueprint, and it aligns with Trump’s own track record as a businessman all too well.

Trump and Pence come to power at a time when these kinds of disasters, like the lethal tornadoes that just struck the southeastern United States, are coming fast and furious. Trump has already declared the U.S. a rolling disaster zone. And the shocks will keep getting bigger, thanks to the reckless policies that have already been promised.

What Katrina tells us is that this administration will attempt to exploit each disaster for maximum gain. We’d better get ready.

Portions of this article were adapted from “The Shock Doctrine: The Rise of Disaster Capitalism.”

Top photo: In this 2005 photograph, a man watches a house burn on Napoleon St. as helicopters try to extinguish the fire in Hurricane Katrina-ravaged New Orleans.

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(Miss this week’s The Leadership Brief? This interview below was delivered to the inbox of Leadership Brief subscribers on Sunday morning, Sept. 13; to receive weekly emails of conversations with the world’s top CEOs and business decisionmakers, click here.)

The pandemic has exacerbated the winner-take-all economy, and Netflix has been a prime beneficiary of the global lockdown. Before the recent tech-stock rout, the company’s stock price had increased by roughly 40% since March, to the mid-$550s, and its market cap of $242 billion briefly exceeded that of the Walt Disney Co., which is no Mickey Mouse operation and has far more in the way of concrete assets and IP. Membership has also increased dramatically for the global streaming service. The company now has 193 million subscribers in 190 countries.

So, how do you get to be like Netflix? In a new book, No Rules Rules, company co-founder Reed Hastings (with co-author Erin Meyer) lays out his management philosophy, which includes paying talent top dollar—while steering clear of brilliant jerks—pumping up candor and taking lots of vacations. Hastings, 59, a former Peace Corps volunteer, acknowledges that his approach is not designed to work at all companies, particularly “safety-critical” businesses like operators of nuclear power plants. The Netflix approach, previously codified in a 127-slide PowerPoint presentation that has been widely circulated in Silicon Valley, works best for creative enterprises, where the biggest risk is lack of innovation.

Hastings recently joined TIME for a video conversation from his home in Santa Cruz, Calif., to discuss Netflix’s singular corporate culture, his view of the media landscape and how he feels about the phrase Netflix and chill.

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(This interview with Netflix co-CEO Reed Hastings has been condensed and edited for clarity.)

Do you remember that there was a time when people received movies on little plastic discs in the mail, in red Netflix envelopes?

That’s crazy! [Chuckles.] We still have 2 million DVD members, because on DVD you get comprehensive selection. We have all the HBO stuff, every movie ever made. And then of course it works in deep rural areas where we don’t yet have broadband.

You built a company that transformed the global media landscape, yet you wrote a book on corporate culture, not on the future of entertainment and technology. Why?

We don’t want to give away our secrets in entertainment, how we make shows and how we do casting. But corporate-culture stuff is useful to a broad range of nonentertainment firms. This book is really designed to be an antidote to 300 years of industrialization. For 300 years we’ve been factory, factory, factory. That’s influenced our management paradigms to where the boss is top down, there’s no errors, there’s lots of process. That does work well for factories. But for innovative or creative organizations, it’s really much better to go with flavors of creativity and freedom and responsibility. We want to inspire people instead of supervising them.

So you have a second book, the secret sauce on how you run the business, that you’re not going to write and publish?

By saying adequate performance gets a generous severance package, only very confident, very successful people join us.Exactly.

When you were still building the company in the 2000s, I interviewed you once and you were pretty combative, maybe even a brilliant jerk.

If I came across that way, then it’s just personal failings, it’s not intention.

Many of your rules, like have a talent-dense company and pay top dollar, may work well at a company that’s minting money. But it’s sort of like writing a coaching book and saying, “Get Tom Brady for your quarterback.” It’s not possible for many companies in many industries.

For most of our corporate life we’ve been nearly broke, losing money, and not the Yankees or the Patriots. And so whatever our budget is, though we’d rather have the talent density.

So don’t try this at home?

It is hard to change a company’s culture. I doubt that many large companies will read this and then say, “Let’s become Netflix.” It’s just too hard. But they’ll take aspects of it, they’ll have off-sites to discuss it, they’ll think about what does it mean to stimulate creativity, rather than supervise to avoid errors? And each business will have different risks. If you’re a safety-critical business, you don’t want to manage like this. So it’s very specific to a class of the economy, which is growing and is important.

Can you just be a little more explicit on what class of the economy?

Where the biggest risk is [lack of] innovation. I feel like we’re contributing to that overall discussion, which is how do you tap into human creativity and create an organization that really supports employees flourishing and having great, relevant ideas?

One of the things that I think will get a lot of attention is the unlimited-vacation policy. But the second aspect of it is that leaders actually have to take big vacations and then talk loudly about them. How much vacation did you take last year, and how loudly did you talk about it?

Five to six weeks. I’m definitely European in my habits now. And you know, send a picture. I’ll make it clear that I’m in this great place on vacation. In our field, we do vacations and then we sometimes come up with our best idea while skiing. Because you’re kind of just gently background processing what do you do about these things?

Any chairlift moments?

I was hiking in Desolation Wilderness—it’s up in California near Lake Tahoe—two years ago. And it made me think about when you don’t use a subscription for a long time, could we afford to give up all that revenue? And if we could, would we eventually get it back in positive reputation and have it be sort of an enlightened capitalism where it ultimately did generate more growth, even though in the short term it was gonna be painful? And so those are the kinds of things I’ll think through back and forth when I’m hiking.

You’re referring to Netflix’s policy of canceling subscribers that haven’t used their subscriptions recently. For forgetful people in the world of auto renewal, that is a great, consumer-friendly move. Can you go deeper on what drove that decision?

As the world goes more subscription, there will be a set of companies that embody the way consumers want to have subscription services work. And we want to be one of those consumer leaders, and I think you’ll see other firms adopt similar practices to win consumer trust and to be a leader.

The lore is you developed the idea for Netflix after bristling at a $40 late fee at Blockbuster, after you misplaced a movie. Any similar motivations here?

It was my personal pet project. One of my great frustrations 10 years ago: I had a second line to T-Mobile, and thought I had canceled it but maybe I didn’t. And then it was like a year and a half, two years later, and they wouldn’t give me any refund and it was just—they could see I hadn’t used that line. So there’s somewhat personal experience in it.

For a CEO, you have an unusual take on making decisions.

A good quarter would be one where I made no decisions, a no-hitter. I haven’t had that yet. But mostly my job is to inspire people, excite them: How can we serve the customer better? I’m sort of educating, coaching, cheerleading, guiding. But I’m not making decisions.

So not a control freak?

There are other CEO archetypes: the Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, unbelievable geniuses, the nano manager. And that worked incredibly well for them. I mean, what Elon Musk has done for society and for shareholders, it’s otherworldly.

The book also stresses owning mistakes. If you Google the words Netflix and fiasco, you get a lot of hits, which is never a good thing.

I made a major error in splitting the DVD and streaming services and increasing the pricing in 2011, called Qwikster. The stock went down 75% over four or five months. It was a big error. And we lost subscribers, etc.

And certainly I took ownership of it, and we eventually healed with consumers and now DVD and streaming are separate, but I was just going too fast. And the lesson that we got out of it is not the obvious one of the arrogant CEO who just shoots from the hip. That’s an age-old story. The more subtle one is that all the leaders around me thought it was a bad idea, but didn’t know the other ones thought it was bad and didn’t speak up enough. And their rationale was not fear, the rationale was, “Well, Reed’s made all these hard decisions before that have gone well, so I must be wrong, and I’ll bet Reed is right.” So it was over-deference.

So there was a failure of radical candor. How hard is it to pull off, and how big a problem is the culture of most companies, the unwillingness to be direct with people out of a concern for not hurting somebody’s feelings?

A good quarter would be one where I made no decisions, a no-hitter. I haven’t had that yet.Let’s think of two extremes. So one extreme is to be so polite and concerned about feelings that you never get the truth about whether that idea is accepted, rejected, etc. And then the other extreme is someone is just spouting their id, and they’re running around the place saying, “You’re ugly,” “I’m attracted to you,” all kinds of totally professionally inappropriate things. So you neither want a total id, nor do you want a sort of super-polite fake. You’re looking for constructive feedback, what we call with good intent. It’s quite nuanced.

And do you observe new hires that come to the company? How long does it generally take them to get comfortable with that approach?

A lot of variation. So I would say some people take to it within two months: they’re like, “Oh my gosh, I love this. This is exactly what I was hoping for.” Some never get there, and they leave within a year.

Netflix sounds like a harsh place for B students.

By saying adequate performance gets a generous severance package, only very confident, very successful people join us.

What grade would you give your search and discovery features right now?

Well, internally, I say we suck, compared to how good we want to be in three years. It’s hard. It turns out that human taste is hugely variable.

How many people do you have working on improving your discovery function?

It depends on the boundaries, but I’d say roughly 1,000 people.

Are those humanists or data scientists?

You need a mix. You have a bunch of humanists sort of generating hypotheses, but they don’t know exactly what’s possible. And then you have a bunch of data scientists who are really good at what’s possible.

In the DVD days, one thing that struck me as a consumer was there was a discrepancy in my approach: I would always order high-minded movies like Bergman’s Cries and Whispers or some such, and then Friday night would roll around and all I really wanted to do was watch Legally Blonde, so Bergman would just would sit there for weeks.

We used to refer to it as the conflict between the ideal self and the real self. That’s true with DVD ordering. But with on demand in our current service, you just flick over and watch on demand. Last night I was in one of those moods, and so I watched How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon, a 10-year-old movie, romantic comedy. And it was like totally fluffy and light and they all looked so young.

Are you interested in owning movie theaters?

No, we only have bought one, the Egyptian, which is the one right next to our [Los Angeles] office. We’re really focused on being a great Internet service around the world.

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What are you thinking hard about these days?

How do we share content around the world? Usually the linear networks, the HBOs and ABCs of the world, are very nation-specific. And we’re trying to do something where we have great French movies in America, great German movies in the U.K. We’re trying to share the world’s content, and it’s challenging. You’ve got very specific issues like dubbing, and then general issues of understanding taste.

On dubbing, it seems like that’s something you’re making headway on. The early seasons of Fauda, the dubbing is just atrocious. But in Money Heist it’s pretty good.

Yeah, those are great examples. Fauda was early. So we’re definitely getting better and better at it, as you would expect, as it becomes more commercially important for us.

How many people are working on improving dubbing at Netflix?

At least 100.

How much are you spending on content annually these days?

$15 billion.

In 10 years, where do you see that number hitting?

Bigger.

Are you as impressed as the rest of the world by TikTok?

In the earnings letter, I talked about it as there’s lots of innovation left in the world, and TikTok’s growth against YouTube and Facebook is quite remarkable.

What developing technology are you paying attention to that you think will have the most immediate near-term and then medium-term impact on your business?

Display technology. Evolution of screens is important to us. To the degree that there’s new types of TVs that are incredibly beautiful and inexpensive, that helps because then people buy more of them and spend more time with the television screen. Augmented reality, where you’ve got a screen in your glasses or maybe even in your contact lenses, eventually could be pretty impactful.

Will you ever crack down on shared passwords?

You know in the end we do want to serve, we want every household to have an account. And so we want to try to use more carrot than stick in getting people there. But it really does work better when every household has one. But there are tricky issues like when your kids go to college, is that a different household or not? When you’re traveling for business, is that different or not? So you don’t want to go too hard on it and become like the old cable networks.

If you could add anybody new to your board right now, who would it be?

It would be great to have someone from Africa, Asia or Latin America, none of which we have currently.

I’ve been warned that you don’t like being lumped in with the FANG stocks. Why does Netflix not belong in that group?

Disney is our main competitor. We have more people in L.A. than Silicon Valley. We’re fundamentally a global entertainment service as opposed to a general tech company.

Let’s do a round of corporate word association. What’s your one- or two-word reaction to the following companies?

AT&T

Stable and networks.

Disney

Family and fun.

Comcast

Cable, cable, cable.

Amazon

Amazing and scary.

Apple

Big and powerful.

Google

Useful and free.

Facebook

Conflicting and enjoyable.

Alibaba

Chinese.

Netflix

Enjoyable and broadening.

How big is the pie for Netflix? As they say in business school, what is your target addressable market?

Humans on the Internet who enjoy entertainment.

Modest goals. Netflix and chill has become part of the popular lexicon. How do you feel about your corporate name being part of a euphemism for sexual activity?

It’s not a campaign we created. We love it that we’re important enough to people’s lives that they use us in various references. But we neither built that nor do we exploit it. I would say it’s recognition of how significant we’ve become for many people.

HASTINGS’ FAVORITES

BUSINESS BOOK: Jim Collins, Beyond Entrepreneurship.

AUTHOR: Richard Powers. I just finished Richard Powers’ Overstory. Unbelievable writing

APP: Uber.

WORKOUT: The Seven Minute Workout.

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