#I would literally have a meltdown

[whatsitzface]

Fuck every percy jackson "fan" who is still complaining about percy & annabeths HAIR COLOURS being different then in the books. I hope Nico is blonde so that all of you cry and scream like fucking toddlers

#like actually #please STFU on pjo fanart #nobody cares that you are upset about annabeth not being blonde YOU DO NOT NEED TO COMMENT IT #like we get that you do not have the skill to make banger pjo fanart yourself (oh noo :((( poor baby) #but maybe your time would be better spent making your own fanart if you wanna complain about how the artist draws a certain character #contrary to unpopular beleif the world does not revolve around you #just because you don't like that leah jeffries is playing annabeth does not mean that the casting is gonna change #go sit in a corner and cry about it and stop having a meltdown in artist comment sections! Literally nobody gives a shit about your opinion #if you are actively bringing down the pjo fandom/tearing apart anything the new adaptation has to offer #then I will gladly inform you that you are NOT a pjo fan #you are an annoying piece of shit that cares more about accuracy then the actual story #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson series #percy jackson disney+ #annabeth chase #leah sava jeffries #walker scobell #leah is our annabeth

[frostknev]

-Wowzers, Mood is in a bad mood.. pun intended.- -💙

#sparklecare hospital #my post #my art #sparklecare #art #fanart #nurse mood #sparklecare fanart #she would literally have a meltdown if this were to happen to her #I feel so sigma..

[mellotronmkll]

cannot put into words how much finding out that women with autism being misdiagnosed with bpd is like a super common thing shook my entire understanding of everything I had experienced my whole life that was the real final nail in the coffin but it's crazy I somehow didn't know that until recently

#And like It Just So Happens #Anyway at this point...and now that my mother has started literally just sending me lists of all the traits that are obvious in hindsight a #things she missed and now is kicking herself I'm just like...well it's just like I'm documenting things and I really think once I just #have insurance you know . I've just been like What if I'm wrong for like a year now but to be honest #I think at this point after all the research I've done and discussions I've had it's like. There's no way bro #Like you have a multi page google doc of evidence #And like it's funny cos my mom will be sending me random texts out of the blue too like did I mention already the fact that you would #sit and study maps for hours as a kid and if anyone interrupted you you had a meltdown and I'm like well #But its like these texts constantly all day #And im like tbh you're going through the same realization process I went through but now you're also telling me things I forgot or didn't #even know that are just blasting any. Doubt of the water #But I think she feels guilty also that she never noticed and im just like shrug I don't know like #there's just many many many such cases so like #But its very helpful I was so scared to tell her about it for so long but apparently she'd been already wondering for ages too so like #And now she's also just like This makes so much sense it just makes everything make sense and I'm like see. That's what I'm thinking too

[jewishfalin]

There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying

#the last 2 times ive been in a mental hospital it was always the most visibly jewish person who got targeted by nurses #and i happened to be the most visibly jewish person in a psychward the last time #its like. the 1st time there were more jewish people in there and the one of us who got it the worst was an older woman with bipolar disord #and like. many of us who noticed how terrible she was getting treated had to tell staff off multiple times #like wtf stop u r literally just poking her with a stick at this point trying to get her to have a meltdown so u have an excuse #to lock her away #it was so fucked #and the rest of us jews in there were like... slightly more stable enough to ignore the taunting from staff #like they'd find the smallest shit to get on our asses about or tell us we're being delusional abt things out of nowhere #like they tried to get a rise out of us specifically so they could frame us as crazy and neurotic when we get frustrated #and the last time i had the mosfortune of being the 1 of 2 jews who was visible and very unstable #i was made sick by nurses on purpose and then gaslit when i was up all night vomiting #i had to be given an injection and sedated the next day just so i would stop projectile vomiting all over my room #i had multiple seizures and they told.me i was throwing myself on the floor #they did things to make me break on purpose #and they did it to others to but #it was different w how they did it to me? #and when they didn't let me go to the main eating area bc i kept fainting/seizing they ordered me shit with pork when i have kosher diet #it was fucked and i know this is a problem #its a problem in outpatient too #i ended up homeless for like a year bc an antisemitic counselor fucked me over #vent

[derpinette]

i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of

#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration #just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming #the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness #eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing #what a damn chore #so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked #i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED. #i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please... #i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace #but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know #anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes #so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really #trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway... #the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever #JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess #light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings #also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL #so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me #but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace #sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general #oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body #& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks #like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman #& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC

[belphieslilcow]

fuck wait i forgot the last nb event was like a dream thing was it belphie centric fuck

#if i think about it too long i'll get overwhelmed and have a meltdown so i shant #hopefully #but uhh idk for sure cause i Didn;t Log In #i havent properly played in forever cause #im so far behind in terms of the story #like i think im still on asmo's part?? #maybe? #the power creep is just so fucking awful in nightbringer #or whatever the term would be #you need stupid high level cards in every type to even pass the ruri tunes levels #and it's so frustrating cause ruri tunes isn't hard in the slightest especially on normal it's actually frustratingly easy #because of how slow it is #but i have to use so many support items just to literally get a c at the last note #so i can finally read things #and idk it just makes me feel bad that i'm not caught up (it makes him feel like a failure) #so i get into the loop of feeling bad cause im far behind and then i dont play but then i cant make progress and the story continues which #means im even FURTHER behind #ohh i think i got it i think i scrounged in my brain i think i feel left out (has issues with that)

[h0rnymuttposts]

Kill me I hate my autism. Someone take it out of me

#i had an autistic meltdown earlier #hate yhose hoes that fake autism because girl its not desirable #ITS A DISABILITY!! IT DISABLES YOU!!!!! WHY WOULD U WANT THAT #like i literally feel like im dying why would u want yhay... #reason no. 2747382 why i shouldnt have kids

[oatbugs]

i think i actually owe my life to sony's noise cancelling headphones like quite literally

#its not just them saving me from sensory meltdowns etc #its that when i was like. at the edge of it. like when i was seriously like yeah death means the discontinuation of this suffering and #i want that. like when i was truly like...Wanting To Die. abt to do it. etc. id listen to one song #loudly . w my headphones. and the detail and emotion etc would sink in . and like id just be lost in sound #and then living was worth it again just to hear another song #im convinced if the music quality was any lower and the noise cancelling was any worse i wouldnt be #left alone with the music in the way i was which means i wouldnt be alive #like music saved my life and im sure it saved a lot of peoples lives but specifically the thing that channeled the music to me .. #its an object but i am thankful to it #those were the xm3s and now i have xm4s which r even better but i literally think of those xm3s every day like truly i miss them #im sorry i lost you :( u got me through so much #i took better care of those headphones than i did of any other possession i have ever owned i think #the only imperfection on them after yrs and yrs was a few holes in the fabric from my cat #deciding to make bread In The Headphones once #i stopped her but she still left her mark 😔 but it added charm and a story to the headphones so its ok

[bangcakes]

.

#im sorry but if he really was waiting for me yesterday im gonna have a whole meltdown like oh my GOD?????? #like THATS??????????????? #n like... ugh that fuckin asshole that said something to him OHHHHHHH !!!!! UGH. #like....... god. ...... .. theres no other explanation. like usually he leaves right away ok. well until he started waiting for me NDNNDMDM #but to do that after an exam... when he like.... just wants to get out of there n study for the next one.... #o bro i cant handle this. thats so sweet wtf..... like....... HHHHHHHHHHH GOD. #this Has to be going somewhere like i cant be imagining this. i cant be #n not only would he have wanted to get outta there bc of having to study.... he also literally doesnt like talking to anyone except me n #one of my other friends JDNDMDMDMMDMDMSM #and like he would have been waiting awhile bc like over 20 mins went by between him leaving n my other friend leaving... and then after tha #god im so sad...... i wish that JERK hadnt said anything to him. i bet he would have stayed 😭😭😭😭😭 #hhhhhhhhhhh........ #n e way NDNNDNDNDMDMMD. im gonna see this until the end.... like lmao theres Something here i can tell...... #and like okay even if we just end up friends... like ok maybe i'll be crushed but JDJJDJDJDJDJFJ hes so cute. i wanna keep him forever..... #n like god. hes even cute in a grumpy way which... god thats my weakness forever im just 🥺🥺🥺 #its just !!!! hes so honest !!! like always says what hes feeling n then once he says it hes over it. like idk hes perfect to me JZJJZJZJZJ #GOD. im so obsessed. help #and like GOD. i really keep coming back to this post and adding more im JUST..... #his eyes are so kind. like i cant even explain this. i just ... god hes so cute..... #personal

[sensitivegoblin]

life update

therapy is going really good, i think im actually gonna be able to make a change.

thank you all for staying with me throughout all of this and bigger thank you to the close friends that were there up close for the bad

#its hard for the bad voice to call me a bad person/selfish when literally now everyone around me is telling me to focus on myself #like when certain stuff comes up its hard for me to care about myself over others even when i really should be #my dad literally yelled at me that i need classes to learn to be selfish #(not bad yelling: i was having a meltdown and scream crying so he was trying to help) #its nice hearing that i need to focus on myself a lil more #its not in my nature to ignore other's discomfort or pain even if it would be healthier to do so #im prioritizing myself a lil more and i feel good #goblingrumbles

[theveryconfusedartistsart-blog]

From below, the monsters cheered in boisterous joyous victory.

#fanfic Monster in the Mountain #undertale fanfiction #adult!asriel #adult!frisk #Asgore #Toriel #Asriel #Frisk #I would be like 'yaaay happy family!' but Asriel is literally having a meltdown #and Toriel is wondering why Frisk and Asriel are adults #and is also wondering how and why Asriel is aLIVE??? #Asgore is just happy to have all of them there #Frisk is just overwhelmed

[lobpoints]

some boring lc thoughts in dm with friend ig

Click ALT if you can't read the text

#i was telling my friend that I had some lc thoughts lately which they asked and I responded like a day after (distracted by yuri sorry) #also because I feel like I cannot articulate my thoughts without sounding like an inherently hateful or annoying person about it #there are more to this being that I talked about Benjamin pre LC behavior in the text but benjamin in LC loop behavior evolved #into a state of helplessness complacency state where he held the belief that his and A relationship only last inside the loop #which metaphorically meant that he believed A will have to remain as a hurtful person for their relationship to last #so Hokma's story just have his behavior toward A have this bit of him condemning A's behavior and go on his poor angela speech #and later on dwell into how it is actually OK for A and everyone to keep living like this because A could NEVER change anyway #and if A argues that he could that just mean that he COULDNT BE serious about it because lol something something repeated hurtful pattern #this is something he has in common with Angela as well because Angela's dialogues toward seed of light progressions express this exact #and it is when his meltdown come in where he poses as protector to protect whatever A hasnt destroyed yet #which later just dwell into him admitted that he was just being overly vebrose about his intention but in reality #it was mostly because he couldnt bear to part with A again #I do absolutely think what Benjamin/Hokma feel toward A is romatic attraction like he is literally gay so yeah #and the fact that in QnA PM has answered that Benjamin wasnt in the loop before Angela killed him and put him in so that why he got older #which makes sense because this place into the thematic that when he wanted to escape the loop or fix thing he actually #growing up #while as Hokma stuck in the loop and dealing with the above issues he started being ''stuck'' in a loop #like I cant with the popular fan theory of Benjamin is killed each loop and how tragic it is like #no it didnt happen and it would be frankly kinda lame im sorry #ok im being a hater again #there are more I wanted to say but I forgor them after writing till this point so uh

[agdab]

god you know what. at the end of the day i don't think i really want anything to do with my family

#work liveblog. #cus i feel like #if i invited any of them further into my life there is judt #such a strong chance for them to disregard any boundaries ive seylt #set** #if i invite any of them to a possible wedding ceremony event and say #'dont bring my shithole brother with' #they absolutely would do it anyway #if i tell my mom not to overshare my or even the family's wholr buisness to anyone #she would do it anyway #literally the only family member who wouldn't do it is ky eldest brother #and thats just cus he wants fuckall to d w the family history and just wants to move on #if i told them not to embarrass me or expose my whole entire life and tribulations for their own conversation topics #they would still do it. #they just do not respect me. l #its awful. i dont want anything to do with them anymore i think #and god forbid i tell even my mom off for disregarding a basic boundary #she'll have a meltdown snd threaten to kill herself for it #bc at the end of the fuckin day. no matter how much she's saif she's changed. she hasn't. #none of them have.

[portablenetworkgraphic]

.

#mom says that the reason she didnt comfort me while i was having one of the biggest meltdowns of my life was cus i wouldnt tell her what was #wrong and i clearly was capable #like i hate to tell you but just because im technically capable doesnt mean i can communicate easily #im too upset to be able to communicate my thoughts to you about why im upset #she literally told me that its annoying when i cry and scream without telling her whats wrong #she said and i quote I could ask anyone in the world and all of them would be annoyed by this #she said if i just said Sorry i cant calm down i cant talk right now that would be fine like hello? is that not fucking obvious? #i said wouldnt this (being a more concerning thing) make you more sympathetic and she said no it just makes me more annoyed and this is the #normal response #she said even when normal people are throwing up and retching they can communicate whats wrong #that im just pretending to not be able to talk to her to manipulate her and that im being disrespectful by intentionally getting louder and #more disruptive #my parents are convinced i do things on purpose to guilt trip them all the time and i dont understand it because theyve known me for #my whole life and thats the most out of character thing i could ever possibly do but they wont even consider that im not doing that #i asked her why she didnt believe me when i said i wasnt manipulating her and she said I do believe you! when did i ever say i didnt #i dont understand. shes convinced that every normal person behaves like her #and the worst of it is i know shes trying her best and yet still refuses to acknowledge the fact that #I DONT FUCKING MAKE MYSELF MORE MISERABLE ON PURPOSE! #she doesnt seem to understand that overreaction can be conscious and still unavoidable #like yes its not like if i tried i absolutely couldnt calm down and talk to you #but thats not helpful! i dont WANT to try because i am screaming so hard that mythroat will be sore for an entire day! #because i am upset! #i am too upset to care that i can tecxhnically stop #i just dont understand why its so hard to believe im not manipulating her when im genuinely upset #i dont understand why she looks at me like a loose screw. something annoying but not something worth fixing #its always bad enough to warrant anger and never bad enough to warrant a solution #because im crazy but im fine and im not disabled at all

[edienotsedgwick]

I’m seeing my favourite band next year wtaf

#edie TxT #I’m acting normal about it for now until I secure plane tickets which I’m getting my dad to help me with #but yeah msp aren’t coming to New Zealand any time soon so ig I’m going to them instead #I will get barricade and nicky smiling at me and maybe he throws a feather boa or a bass pick to me and uhhhhh and uhhgggghhhhhg #seeing my chem ruined me (/pos) and I didn’t expect it because I thought I was far removed enough from that stage of my life that seeing #them life would just be fun nostalgia and not something that would reactivate my special interest in them like a sleeper agent #and now I’m literally here like nothing changed after I was 15 #so like… if seeing MCR made me insane (they are my second favourite band) seeing the manics (my first favourite band) #will literally be a category five autism Hurricane I will be working a full time job next year and trying not to cry and throw up in the #time in advance shortly before!!!! #at least now that I’ve seen what happened pre MCR I can know what to anticipate for MSP next July so I don’t find myself having these #uncontrollable special interest excitement induced meltdowns #anyways yeah I’m insane what’s new?