#I wish someone could just get me this massive teddy bear to hug and cry and sleep into

[funtimebunnyblog]

Okay so first off, I love bears! 😭 they’re so cute! I would have one as a pet if I could. How do you think the pillarmen would react to their s/o finding a bear and immediately becoming friends with it? Doesn’t matter that it’s literally a wild animal. It saw s/o and was like “this is my friend now” and it follows her everywhere. But the bear is “submissive” to her. It doesn’t attack at all and does that thing where it shows it’s belly to her all the time. The bear likes the pillar men, but not as much as it loves s/o.

Ahhh! My dear Anon, this is is such a sweet idea! 🥰🥰🥰 I have the very same feelings about keeping a Fox as a Pet ❤ I very much would if I could! 😌

This started out as a few simple headcanons buuuuut~... 😅 I got carried away and turned it into a full fic! 😘😇 Please “bear” with me and enjoy! 🐻🐻🐻

The Pillarmen’s s/o brings Home a Bear...  (A bit of a long fic; Under the cut for length!)

(I’ll stop making bear puns from this point on, I swear! I just couldn’t pass up the chance to use this picture. in any case... Please do not attempt anything that your read here with a real life Bear or any woodland creature that is dangerous for that matter! If you happen to find a lost little Bear in your travels, do the responsible thing and contact a forestry! ~FunBun)

  "What," Your head snapped up as someone spoke from behind; your eyes trailing up a most familiar muscular torso to eventually meet the disapproving gaze of Kars looming over you. The Pillarman's eyes were wide and his face unreadable, "is that?"

There you were, sitting on the front porch which was not an abnormal occurrence as this was your house and you did as you pleased...

Except for, of course, the fact that you were cradling a LIVING BABY BEAR in your lap and hand-feeding it a peanut butter sandwich!

"...A Friend." You said after a long moment, blinking up at the behemoth of a man. The Cub in your arms grasped at your hand with two huge chubby-toed paws as you pushed the last chunky bit of sandwich into its awaiting mouth; happily chewing away as if it didn't have a bother in the world.

Kars let out a long sigh, his barreled chest heaving as he reached up to pinch the space between his painted eyes with a forefinger and thumb.

"Why?" He questioned.

It was really the only thing he could say in that moment as thousands of questions rolled through his head like flotsam and jetsam. The Pillarmen struggled to keep a hold on himself, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt first before giving you the scolding he so wanted to.

He and the others knew very well you loved animals, which pleased the Pillarmen as they were Men who valued nature and precious life; Kars was no exception. They were most especially aware of your specific fixation on Bears but Kars never so much as gave the love for the creature a second thought.

However, right now, while you held a living Bear in your lap he was beginning to wish he had thought to tell you not to do something as foolish as take one in.

"Hey! I didn't do anything!" You defended yourself, allowing the Bear Cub you cradled to lick the remnants of the gooey sandwich from your fingers. You know exactly what he was thinking; he thought you deliberately went out and took the Bear!

Really, you hadn't done anything! Well... not this time anyways.

It all started when you had gone out for your morning walk in the woods, you happened to enjoy the crisp Spring air this time of year and it was a good way to get out of the house for a bit and away from the noise of the Four Pillarmen you adored that were living with you.

It was only when you were halfway down your usual route when you realized there was a little black Bear Cub following right behind you.

At first, you had feared the worst. Normally where there was a baby, there was a Mother not very far behind and despite your love for Bears you REALLY didn't want to have an encounter an angry Mother Bear that was searching for her lost baby and happened to think you were the one that took it. You did your best to avoid the baby Bear, walking fast and pretending not to notice it in hopes that it would simply give up tailing you eventually and go on its own way back to where it came from, despite the tugging of your heartstrings.

After some time of attempted avoid and evade the Cub didn't leave your side, ambling close at your heals and beginning to cry out for your attention. It became obvious to you it was all alone and even more obvious that it was hungry; as soon as it saw you it thought to remedy both those things.

Always having a big heart, you just couldn't bring yourself to leave the poor thing all alone out in the woods; especially not when it was clinging to your leg and looking up at you with those big honeyed eyes pleadingly...

You weren't supposed to get caught. You had planned to keep him a secret for at least a little while.

You had lead the baby back to the house and left it outside to its own devices on the doorstep for just a moment. Meanwhile you slipped into the kitchen to make, not one, but two peanut butter sandwiches to feed it. You really didn't have anything else to give it, you hadn't been expecting to feed a hungry little Bear anytime soon and there was nothing in it that would hurt the Cub anyways as it was mostly protein.

Your early return from your walk had gone unnoticed by the others (at least at first).

Thankfully, Santana hadn't been in the kitchen raiding the fridge like he normally did this time of morning and had been in the Livingroom with Esidisi instead, too invested in the video game they were playing to hear you come in.

Wamuu was out back chopping up more firewood to burn, as the nights were still very cold; the Warrior too far away to hear you and unable to see you with the house in the way.

Kars was supposed to be up in his study, up to his elbows in papers and practically dead to the world but of course (just when you wanted him to be working for once) he wasn't.

Somehow, he just always knew when something was amiss.

"Peanut followed me here," you explained, peering down at the squirming black fuzz ball in your lap that was still happily licking the peanut butter from its chops.

Kars clicked his tongue, "Peanut?"

He seemed even more displeased you had already named it; if you named something, it became hard to lose it. That was a rule many people followed through ancient times.

You let out a shaky laugh, ignoring the chunky paws inarticulately grasping at your clothes as a little pink tongue darted out from a tiny chestnut muzzle, dampening the glistening black button at the very tip.

Peanut was giving you a thorough sniff, making sure that he had consumed all of the delicious food you had brought him and that he hadn't missed a single morsel.

"It fits." You told him, smiling pathetically as you shrugged your shoulders.

Ruby eyes drifted down to the little creature squirming in your lap for more than a beat before he let out another sigh; this time it didn't sound as stern and disapproving as the first but it still sent a shiver down your spine. His lips pulled into a sympathetic frown as he closed the distance between you two, crouching at your side.

"Dear one," he spoke, using the tone he typically reserved for when he was trying to comfort you or give you some advice. "We cannot keep Peanut."

Immediately, you felt your heart quiver at his words; the pulse of the muscle stopped all together as you looked up at him. His eyes, normally the epitome of inhuman and predatory, now softened.

You knew very well he would have this talk with you, albeit much sooner than you anticipated originally, but it didn't change the fact it was making your heart clench painfully in your chest.

"Why?" You questioned. Now it was all you could really say in that moment as everything else that tried to come out got jumbled up in your throat.

You really didn't need to ask such a question however, as you already knew the answer.

"My sunshine, he's a wild Animal; a predator. He may be a small creature now but Cubs like Peanut grow very quickly indeed." He explained gently, wrapping one muscular arm around you. "And as he grows, his appetite will grow; you won't be able to feed him simple sandwiches forever."

Your lips scrunched up as you peered down at the now quiescent black ball of fuzz cradled in your arms. Peanut, his belly now full and all the peanut butter thoroughly cleaned from his paws and face, had closed his eyes and was slowly falling down into a most comfortable mid-morning nap.

He was so cute; so damn cute you wanted to cry. A hand absentmindedly reached up to grasp one of his paws, your thumb tracing over the squishy pads of his feet and feeling the sharp little claws sprouting from the chubby toes like thorns from a rose.

All your life you loved Bears, no matter the kind; Panda Bears, Koala Bears, Grizzly Bears, Sun Bears, Polar Bears, even Black Bears like Peanut... and now here you were, holding one in your very own arms! Hugging it close to your body like one would an everyday Teddy Bear! A real life Bear had just waddled up to you in the forest, clinging to you as if appointing you as its new Mother and caregiver, cuddling in your arms like a loving pet and cooing as you fed it an icky-sticky delight.

It was a dream come true... and now Kars was asking you to wake up and cast it aside.

"But--... But--..." the quivering of your lip made it hard to find a foothold in this dispute.

"And there is also the matter of his behavior." Kars continued softly, one massive palm gently rubbing up and down your back as he spoke. "Bears can grow to be very territorial and temperamental creatures. Their maximum strength can out lift 10 Men and their maximum speed is faster than any vehicle you can drive."

By now your eyes were watering, the fuzzy spot in your arms no longer seemed so very fuzzy as the world around you blurred behind tears.

Kars, of course, was making sense as he always did and you didn't like it one bit.

The living God's frown only deepened as the glistening of the water pooling in your eyes caught his. Truly, he hated to see you cry. Seeing tears in your eyes was something that made him weak in places he never felt such weakness prior to falling in love with you... but your safety was in jeopardy; and that was something he, nor the other Pillarmen who loved you and dotted on you, didn't want to risk over one creature.

"We have to put him back where he belongs." He said; though his words still carried that softness it was undoubtedly an order not to be refused.

"Oh Kars," you sniffed, your nose crinkling as tears began to fall. "I can't do it!"

You turned more fully towards him, presenting the sleepy Cub; practically thrusting him into the Pillarman's arms.

"Just look at him!" You cried. "He's so small and he's all alone! I don't know what happened to his Mother but she's gone and... and..."

One massive hand found your cheek as the tears came harder, a calloused thumb swiping the raging rivers aside.

"Please Kars... I can't give him up... what if he--?...." you wimpered, unable to finish that thought. You were fully aware you had already lost for today as he shook his head sadly.

Your tears did nothing to sway him when he knew what he had to do.

His free hand slipped under the sleeping Cub, Peanut did little more than fill his palm, scooping him up and cradling him close to his chest as he stood.

Your arms had never felt more empty.

"I'm sorry, Beloved. It has to be done." He told you as you stared up at him with a crestfallen and teary gaze. "Chances are, his natural instincts will kick in and he will learn to take care of himself despite the absence of his Mother. Abandoned Cubs are more common than you think. Peanut needs to go back to the woods."

That was all that could be said, the Pillarman disappeared in one blinding flash; taking the Bear Cub with him.

You were left there sitting on the porch, scrubbing at your cheeks with the sleeve of your sweater until the sensitive skin was raw in the cool Spring morning air. You managed to pull yourself together enough to not raise suspicion and headed back inside to make some coffee.

The morning passed quietly, when Kars made his eventual return to the house (sans Bear in hand) you didn't even look him in the eye.

You didn't deny that Kars had done the right thing, Peanut was in fact a wild Animal and belonged to the wilderness, but you still felt strangely bitter over it. So inexplicably angry it almost felt childish as you couldn't stop yourself from glaring at his back as he passed the kitchen table.

More time passed, your only half-drunk mug of coffee had long gone cold and your grief for the little Bear you knew that was left all alone somewhere in the woods had managed to ebb somewhat. You were just about to get up to go get a start on some chores when all of a sudden, Wamuu came through the door.

"Shoo! Shoo!" The massive Pillarman swiped his hand as he backed himself through the door, "Go on! Go back to your Home, small one."

You tilted your head, watching the unusual display. "What's wrong?"

The blonde turned his head to look at you with a frown. "I was trying to finish up my morning task when a Bear came out of the woods." He explained, finally closing the door with a sigh. Your gasp went unnoticed as he peered through the window of the door, his frown only etching deeper. "It's too small to be a juvenile. Just a Cub. I did not want to find out if there was a Mother lingering so I came back to the House. However, it seems to have decided to follow me..."

The Warrior blinked as you were suddenly out of your seat, squeezing past him to squish against the window of the door to see for yourself.

"Peanut!" You cried, your heart fluttering in your chest as you too caught sight of the little round ink blot sitting dejectedly on the porch.

Wamuu barely had a chance to react let alone intervene as you yanked open the door again, the sounds of the crying Bear hitting your ears.

It was Peanut alright, every feature similar right down to the whiskers of his muzzle. The Bear was plopped down on his rear, feet sticking out under him like he were a simple Teddy Bear sitting on the shelf of a toy store, and staring up at the door he knew you were behind. The squeaky wailing of the Cub fell silent as soon as he caught sight of you and realized he was no longer all alone, it seemed that he missed you just as much as you had him.

Wamuu stared in disbelief, watching with wide eyes as the little Bear rolled onto his back to reveal his soft tummy and stubby paws to you.

"Peanut?" The blonde questioned, one thick eyebrow raising as he looked between you both.

This was a wild Animal and yet you greeted it like some sort of pet!

As your leaned down to give a loving rub to the exposed tummy of the Bear, cooing at it as contentment spread across its features. You intended to recount this mornings full story to ease Wamuu's obvious confusion, however, you didn't so much as get the chance to get a word out before Kars was standing in the room.

He had just been about to head upstairs and absorb himself in his work, when he caught a snippet of what was happening in the kitchen. The Pillarman's crimson eyes wide as he approached, needing to see what was happening for himself.

"Look Kars!" You beamed, grinning up at both gawking Pillarmen as the Bear grasped at your petting hand, playfully trying to gum on your fingers with blunt little teeth. "Peanut came back!"

Kars all but shared in your glee, the pinching of his brows and the drooping of his lips gave away his irritation.

He had dropped Peanut off safely somewhere in the woods, not far from your usual walking path. When he had left, the Cub had still been sound asleep, completely none the wiser to being left behind, and the Pillarman had honestly thought that would be that.

It would seem the creature had imprinted on you more than he anticipated and it only added on to his previous fears.

"I'm afraid I'm in need of an explanation, my Lord..." Wamuu spoke up, tearing his gaze away from you and the Bear Cub you were most happily playing with.

Kars swooped in, taking the Cub away from you for the 2nd time that morning, much like an Eagle dropping from the sky to snatch up a mouse. Peanut pawed at his hardened chest, becoming squirmy in the massive mans hold as he let out a couple of little grunts.

It was as if the Bear knew exactly what Kars intended to do.

"I'll explain it to you in full when I return, Wamuu." He sighed as he begun carrying the squirming woodland creature away from the House towards the woods where he deemed it rightfully belonged.

You waved at the baby Bear as it watched you from over one muscled shoulder with those big honeyed eyes, feeling a little disheartened again but the fact that the Cub came looking for you still made a sweet warmth bloom in your chest.

It would be far from the last time any of you saw Peanut.

Late morning turned to afternoon and the day bloomed into something warm and lovely, like a watered down Summer day. Linens and towels came straight from the washing machine and were headed for the clothesline to dry in the sweet air.

There was absolutely nothing better than falling asleep in bedsheets that had spent all day out on a line in the breeze.

Always happy to help you around the household, Esidisi volunteered to put them out for you as you were already busy doing other things around the house.

He had only turned his back for 2 seconds to hang the first sheet, humming softly to himself as he went, before turning to find a baby Bear making himself at Home in the laundry basket he had carried out. Peanut was rubbing his scent all over the damp linens as he rolled in and pawed at the clean sheets; inevitably dirtying them again.

Esidisi found the whole ordeal hilarious, most especially when he was fed the full story of the morning by you who had come out to see what was taking him so long with his chore.

Kars, on the other hand, didn't find it so very funny.

He especially didn't see the humor in it when he found the two of you playing with Peanut in the yard, entertaining yourselves and the Cub by draping a sheet over him and prying it off like a parachute over and over.

Peanut was taken back to the forest a 3rd time; this time much farther into the woods.

Late afternoon rolled around and Santana finally left the house to go outside; having the sole intention of taking a nap in the fresh air via the hammock that had been recently strung up in the backyard.

Unfortunately, the youngest Pillarman got sidetracked when a little Bear came out of the woodwork and crawled into the hammock with him, mewling and demanding his immediate attention as he was hungry once again.

Kars, the one and only, spirited Peanut away before you and Santana had a chance to make more sandwiches to feed it.

This happened over and over and over again.

It seemed like every time the Pillarman dumped Peanut somewhere, no matter how remote or how far from your Home, the little Bear inevitably found its way back sooner or later; ambling up to you or the others with a mighty hunger and a carefree nature unmatched.

Peanut appeared on the doorstep next morning when you were about to head out for a walk.

Peanut was found digging in the trash bin when Kars was taking out the trash.

Peanut clung to Wamuu's leg as he went out to mow the lawn; the Warrior didn't so much as bat an eye, unhindered, as the Cub held onto his ankle while he worked the mower.

Peanut approached Santana when he was eating chips on the porch; the Pillarmen didn't seem to mind the company nor the fact the Bear ended up upside down in the bag.

Peanut followed you around like you were its one true Mother while you tended the yard and carried out chores.

Peanut sat contently at Esidisi's feet as the man was Barbecuing supper in the evening; the Bear watching him and waiting for supper to be served as if he were the guest of Honor.

Each time, without fail, Kars brought him back to the woods and each time, without fail, Peanut came back.

It was only frustrating him further and further.

Eventually, one quiet and rainy morning Kars went out onto the porch to sit and read; he always enjoyed the sound of rainfall and the fresh earthen smell of a Spring downpour. He had barely been there 5 minutes, not even enough time to get truly immersed in his novel, when suddenly a very wet and cold ball of hair climbed up into his lap, actually making the Pillarman yelp at the shock of the sensation of a freezing cold Cub pressing against his bare skin.

Kars was big and dry and comfortable, like a much bigger and hairless Bear, a place Peanut deemed perfect enough to sit out of the Rain and warm up.

The purple-haired man frowned down at the chubby bundle taking up residence in his lap, Peanut grunted contently as he made himself comfortable. His normally downy soft and dandelion puffed fur was now patterned down and awry, radiating with a dank with a heady, musky Bear smell due to being soaking wet.

It was not at all a pleasant smell to anyone's nose, most especially to a Pillarman's as they were creatures with extra sensitive senses.

Kars, now feeling that this was the final straw, was just about to scoop the creature up into his arms and carry out their usual pick up and drop off routine; this time he intended to take Peanut all the way down river to the farthest side of the forest and leave him there.

He stopped on a dime when two big pools of honey locked onto glimmering rubies.

"Don't look at me like that..." the Pillarman warned, feeling his heart quiver strangely in his chest. The command didn't come out nearly as firm as he intended it to be.

Kars treasured creatures big and small and this creature was so adorable, so small it made his arms itch in ways he hadn't felt since the time he had taken care of the two infants that grew to be Wamuu and Santana. Peanut rolled in his lap, squishing his face against the Pillarman's abs and nuzzling softly; his fur stuck to bare skin in an almost icky way and made his loincloth feel very damp and uncomfortable due to the run off of water.

The Pillarman pursed his lips, forcing himself to bring to mind all the logical points on why this Bear (this nuisance, this danger, this predator) had to go.

Peanut opened his mouth and let out a little yawn and a sneeze, probably just as hungry as he was cold and damp.

Kars' huge hands balled into fists at his sides, his jaw setting tighter and tighter as he felt himself and the walls of his determination crumbling, hating every single millisecond of it before eventually, after an internal struggle that lasted seemingly millennium... he sighed.

Peanut was scooped into his arms and, this time, taken into the House.

☆☆☆

"Really?!" You cried in disbelief, hands going to your mouth as it pulled into an impossibly huge grin.

Esidisi, Wamuu and Santana just sat there, expressions ranging from shock to disbelief of their own.

Surely he couldn't be serious... could he?

Kars let out a long breath, "Yes, dearest." He groaned, still cradling the tiny dampened Bear in the crook of his arm as it clung to his bicep. "We can keep Peanut."

Immediately, to everyone’s amusement but Kars', you were in his lap just as quickly as the Cub had climbed into it. You didn't care one bit that he was a little damp and that some of Peanuts musky stink had rubbed off on him, peppering his face with thousands of kisses as you threw your arms around both the Pillarman and the Cub.

"Oh Kars! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You squealed between your line of kisses.

Nobody had expected Kars to cave in this matter; they honestly expected this to go on and on for some time until Peanut was forced to be the one to give up on finding his way back to the house.

However, despite the fact all of them were pleased and ready to take on this idea of having an actual living Bear around, there came the next matters to attend to.

The ground rules.

"But he cannot stay inside the house." Kars said, that firm nature of his making its return. Peanut had managed to wriggle out of both of your holds and was now ambling around the Livingroom, sniffing everything and everyone in sight. Esidisi was following him around to ensure he wouldn't break anything or get himself into more trouble while Kars was feeling so generous, smiling indulgently as he scooped him up and presented him to the others.

"Ok." You hummed, that part was only to be expected.

But you wouldn't deny that somewhere in the back of your mind you had fantasized about cuddling up to a giant fuzzy Peanut in bed or on the couch.

Kars took in another deep breath and the atmosphere changed, it was as if the temperature dropped in the room. The mans eyes were serious and his features became even more stonelike than the masks he crafted as he pulled you closer to him in his lap.

"I want you to listen to me, dear one." He began, his voice was low and something akin to fridged; it only sent shivers dancing down your spine. "If Peanut grows to be an aggressive creature or too much a hassle to handle, even if he gives any of us the slightest reason to fear he would harm you in any way, shape or form... we'll have to be rid of him. Permanently."

His words hung in the air, making your stomach sink like a rock falling helplessly to the depths of the ocean. A lump was starting to balloon in your throat.

You knew very well what that meant.

The Pillarmen weren't men who took any form of pleasure out of killing Animals; Kars especially... but you knew that he would not hesitate to do so for your sake. His words spoken to you prior on the porch when you first encountered the Cub rang around quite deafeningly in your head.

"Do I make myself clear?" He asked you, his pupils burned absolute holes into your heart as he held your gaze; not unlike a strict parent after giving the scolding of a lifetime.

The best you could do was nod, praying the day you all feared would never come at all or at least not very soon; the latter was perhaps your best hope.

For now, however, you planned on celebrating the day by making a peanut butter sandwich for the newest, and perhaps hungriest, member of your little Family.

☆☆☆

Time passed, as it did for everything, and Peanut grew and grew. He grew from a small and clumsy little Bear Cub into a bigger and gangly Juvenile Bear by mid Summer.

Sometimes the Bear would disappear at night into the woods, just after supper of course, but there were also times he would just sleep close to the house; most specifically by the front porch. Peanut still followed you around outside as you did anything, always greeting you with a grunt as he flopped onto his back to reveal his belly and were always more than happy to rub it when he did.

His appetite did indeed grow and the simple peanut butter namesake was no longer truly fulfilling to him; nothing more than a sweet morsel to lick up as a treat.

Peanut had to be shown how to properly hunt for himself and that was something you and Esidisi decided to tackle together, taking him down to the river on the hottest days to teach him to to fish for himself. Those days were filled with much laughter on your part where you sat on the bank to watch the Pillarmen wading out in the raging waters with the Bear, hunched forward and making a grab for a slippery and wet flying fish with his hands as they jumped from the water to properly demonstrate.

Eventually, after much trial and error (not to mention Esidisi falling right into the river a handful of times) Peanut was able to catch all the fish he wanted to eat.

Wamuu was a big help in burning off the major energy that came with Peanut growing into an adult Bear. The Warrior often spent hours out in the yard playing with him, going so far as to push and wrestle with the creature, playing simple games like throwing a giant ball around or to even take him on a run through the woods to tire him out.

Sometimes you even tailed behind the pair on your 4 wheeler to get in on the fun and play.

Santana found himself spending his days playing with Peanut too, more often content to help you take care of the beast. You and Santana tried to bath Peanut at least once every 2 weeks to fight against his stinky Bear musk, lathering him up nicely where he sat contently in an old kiddie pool in the yard and hosing him off. Santana would spend a lot of time with Peanut as the Bear napped, scratching his back and finger combing the knots out of his fur; even plucking annoying ticks from the Bears body when he found them.

You found it quite disturbing, and more than a little gross, as to how Santana could hold the bloated insects between his fingers and pop them upon finding them. You swore you could hear the red-head chuckle lowly each time you let out a disgusted gag when he done it.

And Kars, he found himself dotting over and spoiling Peanut with affection just as much as you did.

The Pillarman would deny any claims that he snuck the Bear peanut butter sandwiches between meals or even peanut butter straight from the jar but you knew the truth. It was hard to miss as it seemed Peanut would immediately give Kars a good sniffing upon seeing him, obviously checking for any delicious treats he happened to be keeping concealed.

By late Fall, Peanut was a fully grown Adult Bear.

In fact, he had swollen to such an immense size, he was something of a rival to the Pillarmen; by that time it was something of a relief he was a gentle giant. He was still a wild Animal but he was also a loving pet to you and the 4 Pillarmen.

One day, Peanut stumbled out into the woods and didn't return. Snow came not long after and then the brutal and fridged season of Winter truly begun.

Peanut had disappeared but you knew he wasn't far in the woods, hopefully holed up in a cave and hibernating.

Winter passed slowly, more slowly than it ever had before. As December ticked away to January and eventually February, the others didn't miss how much you missed your Peanut; he was all you could talk about somedays! You weren't the only one who missed him however, not missing the wistful looks passing over the faces of the others upon seeing a segment on Black Bears airing on National Geographic or opening the fridge to find the jar of peanut butter sitting there; untouched and almost begging to be eaten.

March went bye, then April and the snow had long melted away due to the heavy rainfall but still, Peanut did not make his return.

You were seriously starting to worry by this time. What if he hadn't been hibernating all along? What if a Hunter had gotten to him? Or what if... he forgot about you?

The Pillarmen could only console you so much, trying their best not to give you false hope by saying things along the lines of "I'm sure he'll be around!" and make things worse as they really did not know of Peanut's fate either...

It was well over a year since you had first taken in the Cub and now there was no sign of him anywhere.

But just when you were starting to give up all hope of seeing your prized Bear and companion again, you opened the door one morning as you prepared to go on your morning walk to be met with shock.

You just about jumped out of your skin as an earth rattling roar hit your eardrums, sending a jolt of fear striking through your body like lightning and screaming in primal terror at the sight before you. A Black Bear that was larger than life stood on its haunches off the porch, its maw open and its breath showing like hot puffs of steam as it growled out into the cold Spring air; asserting its presence for miles.

For one terrible and too long of a moment, you thought you would be slaughtered on your own doorstep by your most favorite Animal on Earth.

Your terror was short-lived however, as the monstrous beast you feared would devour you whole suddenly flopped onto its back and turned its belly to the sky.

"PEANUT!" You cried, spreading your arms wide as you ran to flop on top of the creature; your friend and pet.

It wasn't long after when all 4 Pillarmen were standing out on the porch, your screech having been heard from inside the house.

"Look Kars!" You beamed, rubbing the gargantuan tummy with a wide grin; eliciting a content grunt from the Bear. "Peanut came back!

Kars could only smile this time and shake his head.

Peanut had come back again, without fail; just as he always done and the Pillarmen were quite happy he was here to stay...

#funnybunny #pillarmen #kars #esidisi #wamuu #santana #pillarmen headcanons #kars x reader #esidisi x reader #wamuu x reader #santana x reader #anon ask #my writing

[honestlyhappyharry]

Chapter 12

Settling in

Chapter 11

Watching everything in your house get moved was an odd feeling. It had been the only constant in your life since Lily was born, it was so much more than a house to you.

But with all the stuff slowly dripping out, packed up in boxes, being put on a truck and taken across the city, you couldn't help but think about when you first moved in.

Back then the house seemed like such a weird place to be living; you knew hardly any of your neighbours, you still had to google maps the address on your way home and when you looked out the window you saw the beach.

Now you knew almost everyone on your street, you could find any house from anywhere and the view out the window was just the same.

"Are you ready to go?" Harry asked as he walked up behind you in the kitchen, making you jump in fear.

You nodded. "Yeah, can I just walk around and say goodbye first?" You asked, moving to the lounge.

"Sure, baby. I'll go get Lils." He said before walking out to find Lily, who had gone three houses down to say goodbye to her friend. Although she would be seeing her at pre-k when Harry drove her over for the next week and a half and you slept in.

Tears welled in your eyes as you walked around. The only time you use to ever think you'd be moving out is when you were going to a retirement home or moving back to your hometown.

You stood in Lily's room for the longest amount of times. All the memories of her growing up hit you at once. Like a movie flashing before your eyes. All of those nights you'd spent desperately trying to get her to sleep and all of the days she slowly grew into the most beautiful, caring and amazing child you'd ever met.

"Come here," Harry said as he walked in saw the amble evidence of tears rolling down your cheeks. He wrapped his arms around you and it's a correlation to how secure the house made you feel.

"I'm sorry... I just... there's just.... this house just means so much to me." You told him honestly, it took a while to find the right words and you really didn't want to be crying on such a happy day.

He shushed you. "It's okay, love." He breathed out as he held you before he pulled you away from his chest and wiping the tears from your eyes. "Now let's go and start a new chapter of our lives." He told you and you nodded before walking out the front door with him.

As soon as you got to the new house everything felt right. You did think there would be some small doubts but there were absolutely none. It already felt like home.

The house itself was big. With a bottom floor containing 3 bedrooms, 2 lounges, a kitchen, a study, 4 bathrooms as well as a big outdoor space with a pool.

The pool was one of the best features. It had 3 separate slides, each of which connected to 3 of the bedrooms on the second floor. On the ground level, there was a separate pool bathroom but the pool itself had a built-in grill and bar area where you could swim up to get drinks. That was along with the huge movie screen.

There were 4 bedrooms on the 2nd floor each with its own ensuite as well as a lounge. The 3rd floor was significantly smaller, with only a movie room and library which had a secret staircase to a mezzanine floor with a glass ceiling. It gave you the best view of the stars and city.

"Can I look at my room?!" Lily asked quickly and Harry nodded before walking up the stairs after the jogging little girl. You followed the pair. "Oh my god!" She exclaimed before you walked in to see a whole new bedroom. It had a massive princess carriage with a bed inside as well as a castle that had stairs going up. At the top of the castle, there was a small bookshelf and a slide that went down to the desk at the bottom.

Lily ran around the room like someone had given her 3 cups of coffee. And some cocaine. You noticed the majority of her clothes in the wardrobe, her teddy bears and barbie dolls already there.

"Hope you don't mind," Harry said as he came up behind you.

"Tell me next time, Haz. She loves it but I wish I knew." You told him and he nodded before pulling you into his side. "What's going to happen when she grows out of this?"

"There's another room on this floor with a walk-in wardrobe." He told you and your eyes widened a little surprised by his thoughtful nature. "Ready to see our room?" He asked as he pulled you out to Lily's room.

"Lils, we're going to see our room. Don't go on the slide." You told her and she nodded before running up to the two of you and hugging your legs before rushing out a quick 'thank you' and going back to playing with her toys.

Harry just smiled. "Don't worry about the slide, they are all safely locked with a PIN number." You were swooning about how thoughtful he was for someone who had only had a kid for 7 months but it was a good look on him

"I love you, Har." You said as you continued to follow him to your room.

"I love you even more. Now close your eyes." He instructed and you complied, putting your hands over them before he opened the door and led you inside. "Open." He told you.

As soon as you remove your hands from your face you saw how sophisticated it looked. There was a massive be and ottoman with a couch and table in the corner. "Look at this," Harry said as he pushed a button and a tv came up from the foot of the bed.

You'd barely glanced down that end but now you saw the massive window with a view of the whole city and a door that had a few steps down onto a balcony that was big enough to have a table and chairs.

"I'm in shock. It's beautiful." You told him and he smiled, looking pleased with himself.

"You're beautiful. Now wanna see the closet?" He asked and you nodded, wondering what else he had in store for you. The closet was like a whole house. First, there was a seemingly normal shoe, bag and accessory closet with a massive mirror and all your makeup neatly organised. Then some stairs led up to a whole top floor filled with your and Harry's clothes.

"Harry, this must-have taken forever..." You trained off.

"That's why I didn't get home until late. It was mainly the boys that did the final touches." You thought Harry not being to be home until 8 was a normal thing, it did worry you.

But now it was making sense, him insisting on going to lunch before you got here was just time to get it ready.

"I love you so much." You told him as you brought your lips together. "Not even for the materialistic aspect of everything you've done. Just that you care enough about us to do this."

"I just want you two to be happy. Now come and look at the bathroom, you sap." He joked as he walked through a door which led into a big room with a bath, fireplace, shower, two vanities and a toilet. There was also a door to the bedroom.

"Harry!" You screamed. "It's all so amazing." You told him before you leant into his side. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer.

"I'm glad you think so." He said before he kissed you again.

"Mummy! Hazzy! Can we go on the waterslide?" Lily's voice came as she ran through the room, making you pull away from your kiss.

Lately 'Hazzy' was her nickname for Harry and while he was delighted she was calling him that, he was gunning for the title of dad.

"Yeah!" Harry agreed and you smiled at the two of them. "Go get changed and I'll come with you for the first slide, then we can play in the pool." Lily ran off with the biggest smile on her face and you turned to Harry with an equally big smile on yours.

"We better go get changed then." You winked at him before going to the closet.

"Can you pretty please wear the green one, please?" He begged as you searched through your swimsuits and briefly picked up a dark green one.

It made you inwardly roll your eyes at him. "I am not wearing this." You continued as you held it out. "It's way too complicated and a little slutty." He just looked annoyed as you showed him another option. "This one?" You held up one of your favourite yellow bikinis.

"I like it, but can you wear the other one when we go to the hot tub tonight?" He asked, almost like he was telling you.

You laughed at him. "Who says I'm going in the hot tub with you tonight?" You finished changing and walked across to see Harry who wasn't ready because of how distracted he was checking you out.

He picked up his iconic yellow shorts, which ironically matched your bikini, and began undressing. "Oh, I'm definitely getting you in the hot tub tonight." He said as if it were a challenge. His low voice made him so much more attractive.

After he finished changing you stood there kissing for a few minutes.

Lily raced in a few seconds later. "Let's go! Let's go!"

"Alright," Harry said as he got dragged to her room.

"Hold on, I'm going down to the pool, then I'll film when you come down." You said as you grabbed your phone and raced downstairs, quickly trying to find the perfect angle to watch them pop out of the waterslide.

"Ahhh!" You heard Lily's voice a second before she and Harry came splashing out into the pool. "That was so much fun, can we go again?" She asked, looking up at Harry who held her because of how deep the water was.

And that was how the rest of the day went, Lily going down the waterslide before running up the stairs to go again.

Finally, you got out of the pool and left Harry to supervise Lily while you made dinner. That night as you, Lily and Harry ate dinner, while looking out over the LA skyline, everything was perfect.

And, later in the night, the hot tub with Harry was just as perfect.

#harry fic #harrystylesfanfiction #harry styles story #harry styles fan #harry styles fic #harry styles fiction #harry edward styles #louis and harry #harrystyles #harry #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry one shot #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #one direction #harry styles x y/n #harry styles edit #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x oc #one direction things #one direction imagine #onedirectionimagine #one direction imagines

[slater-later]

I Want to Watch You Grow

Brian Kelly x Trans Masc Reader

Read it here on AO3 if you would like!

- This is a Brian Kelly x Trans Man reader fan fic. This conronicles your long term relationship with Brian and your development with yourself. Your body, and transition as a transman.

- I hope everyone enjoys this. Finds space within themselves and their relationship with the world. It’s okay to be trans, being trans is beautiful. it’s a difficult, glorious journey that is far more of a beginning then an end. Living happy life, being proud of yourself and your body.

- The fic is long, about 12 pages. So please, soak it in, and I wish you the happiest day!

The two of you had been dating for some time. You had met at a small high school party. A good group of friends coming together around a Summer bonfire, slipping your feet out from the well worn sandals and wiggling them infront of a fire. The soles of your feet toasted, turning them around to be goldened on both sides. You held a long metal skewer with two plump marshmallows on the end, rotating it around as you warmed it to a golden ball of glory.

It was sweet, being able to spend time with old friends and make some new. Your friend Ronnie had invited the skater kids from school to join you. He had bonded with them over their mutual love for rock and rap music. It made sense, they both loved Public Enemy. Blasting ‘We Got the Power’ out of their car radios whenever they had a chance. 

You enjoyed it, they threw out some good rhymes and it was a battle cry for your youth. You generation. You couldn’t help but bob your head to the music and belt along.

It was towards the end of the night when you two met. Brian had showed up late, hair slicked with a heavy line of sweat. A shirt quickly shoved into his pants, trying to clean up for his group of friends after a long day of skating.

He had skipped out of work that day- well, really, the restaurant was slow so there wasn’t much need for two busboys. He had spent the rest of his afternoon and late into the stary night, skating at the skatepark. The street lights clicked on and it had made it hard for him to see the clear edges of the ramps. It was time to turn in and get a bite to eat. Putting aside the new trick he caught from someone else. Trying to nail it. 

If he knew it could be done, then he could. He just needed enough time and perseverance to figure it out.

With skating, the possibilities were endless. It was his place to let go of life’s worries and focus on something where had complete control. The complete right to be, what and who he is, with no to tell him otherwise. Skating was like a lifeblood for him, his way of life.

His boundless universe.

He came jogging in, skateboard in hand as he approached the group huddled around the warm fire. 

The trees swayed, creaking under the age and weight of their own majesty with a long gust of wind. It was dark, the hum of Summer turning to a deep pitch of haze. Black rolling in, only to be illuminated by the glaze of starfull and a half crescent moon. The forest was thick, lulled by the hum of heated crickets and hushed by the cool breeze of night. Smoke pooling from the warm fire, whisping and licking up the sky with powerful might. Your toes curled, seeking a gentle relief from its delightful burning flame.

They were roasted and baked. You tucked them into the ground, shifting your heals to push back the brush and find a damp, cool, interior.

Brian waved, throwing an arm up to welcome everyone. A boy buzzed in the background, rolling a hit out of a cheaply made bong. Coughing as he blew out his lungs. Stoned till’ the cows come home.

“Hey guys! Sorry I’m late, it uh, took me a while to find you guys,” He smiled, strolling on into the circle and making his way over to Yabbo. Giving him a high five and saying hello to Buddy. 

You popped your marshmallow onto a graham cracker and some chocolate. You munched on your treat, washing it down with a sip of beer.

You watched Brian that night, catching his eyes as he chatted with Buddy over some trick he had been captivated by. Transfixed on trying to nail, to, gleam the cube. 

He noticed, his shit stain smirk would appear even in mid sentence. Hands flailing out, gesturing and expressing his exasperation on some wild tangent he was on about skating. About life. About love. It was amusing to watch him, loud and audacious as he was. He could even make Buddy loud, who was normally a quiet and reserved guy. Get him chuckling about some silly joke he made, and pairing it with an audacious face. Hands whipped out, a cross between a dragon and a gorilla.

You had finished off your second beer, musing with a friend about the stars as you gazed. Heads turned up, pondering the wide expanse of space. Its’ glorious bounds, its beauty, its’ wonder.

It put things in perspective for you. Not in a scary way, but in a comforting one. That sometimes, our emotions can feel massive. And they can be! But they also fall away, soothe and ease, as we realize, this shall pass. As all things. Even life. And so, what we must work towards is enjoying it. Like moments like these- feet kicked up on a stump, back eased into a lawn chair with a good beer in hand, spending time with friends. The summer breeze cooling your warm skin, still tanned and glowing from a long day spent outside. Walking, running, and spending time with those that mattered to you. You can’t steal back time, but instead, enjoy it.

Brian tapped Buddy’s shoulder, gesturing for him to shift over as he stood up. Slicking to the outside of the circle, making his way over.

He stopped at the bag of mellows, nabbing two and popping one in his mouth. Munching on its sugary goodness as he finished the trip. Sliding down and popping on the ground, criss-cross-apple-sauce style.

You picked your chin up from the stars, turning your head towards him, “Hey.”

“Hey,” He smiled tiredly, softly. It had grown late and the group had died down, calming and chatting amongst themselves. “So, I uh, don’t think I caught your name,” He mused, chuckling with an anxious delight. He had caught your fancy and talking to attractive people always made his insides flutter.

“It’s Y/N, what’s yours?” You smiled, letting out a tiny yawn, hand hovering over your mouth.

And on command, it was his turn. “Briannn.” He said, pushing through his wide open mouth, eyes turning to closed slits. Watering. 

“Jesus, I’m beat,” He muttered, whipping his eyes.

“You too?” You couldn’t stop, the two of you speaking through widely stretched mouths, yawning and releasing the tired souls of your body out into the air. Like ghosts being exercised. 

“Yeah!” He squeaked, putting his hand over his mouth. This time his mouth reaching out farther. As if a shark could unhinge its massive jaw.

Slowly, both of yours bodies cooled down. Chatted about the quiet, peaceful sounds of the forest. How the night made your feel alive, at ease within your own body. It was easy talking with such a nice man, cracking soft jokes and poking fun at the world. The politicians, the fat cats, and parents. Some stupid shit a drunk girl did at school, how the one guy on the football team fucked the head swimmer and stirred drama in the theatre group. He had been dating Jared, but it all fell for shit when he saw Sam in those swim trunks.

You both agreed, he looked mighty fine in the spandex speedo. And Tom did too, especially when he found out how kind he was.

“So who do you think is the biggest class clown? Don or Vinny?” You mused, shifting your weight in your seat. Turning towards him.

“Ahhh, I’m not so sure. Vinny is my man, but I really like Tabitha-”

“That bitch?” You shot, clicking your tongue. “She fucking stole $20 out of my backpack, fuck her!”

His eyebrows knitted, looking disappointed. “Yeahhh, she ain’t very nice. I disagree with you there,” He looked at the blaze, shaking his head. “But it’s not a ‘frienship’ competition. I give her props pouring that bottle of stinky slick on that jerk in Ceramics. That one that makes all those gross racist comments in school.” Fuck him for his piece of shit mind. There was no reason to be like that.

“-Ugh!” Your eyes rolled, shaking your head, “I know, I fucking hate him. He’s a piece of shit,” Internally you groaned, thinking of his disgusting face.

“For that, I respect her. The fool won’t change his mind and he needs to learn that he can’t do shit like that. It’s not like he’ll listen, I’ve tried,” He popped a mellow into his mouth, chewing. “She got 3 days of suspension for that. It was pretty ballsy,” Shitting on racist was both funny and satisfying. 

“What-? Why did she get that-?”

He shrugged, looking amazed, “I don’t know. It’s fucked up, that’s school for ya. It’s not right.”

You shook your head disgusted. If only they would understand, listen. “Ok, so, who has your favorite comedy?

“-Sam,” He smiled, poking a branch into the fire.

You watched him stir up the flame, picking at a log and turning it over. 

“Same, he’s really nice. He’s quiet but he has a smart tongue on him,” Slowly the fire grew. Emboldened by the new life, “Tom’s really lucky.”

Brian shot you a look, teeth flashing in a grin, “Cuz Jared’s so hot?”

You shot up in your seat, pushing yourself closer to him- “Okay though, right?!” Brian burst out laughing, head thrown back as he boomed. 

You waved your hands up into the air, desperately. “He has those pecs! Those thick arms! I just wanna be hugged by him!” He was a big tall teddy bear! A muscular one too! Who doesn’t love a big teddy bear?!

“I know, I know!” He slapped his knee, face red and warm, and it wasn’t from the booze. “He’s cute! He’s really cute!” He laughed, smiling through his big open mouth.

The two of you talked for the rest of the night, making another round of smores and sipping on the last of your cold beer. It was easy, talking to him. You found a kind of warm comfort and acceptance by such a free soul. By someone who really just wanted to be seen and heard, and loved for who he was.

*****

That night would bloom into many others. A few months you spent together, as friends, and the others, as lovers. You slowly got to know each other over time progressed. Eventually, love bloomed. Infatuation took to desire, day dreaming about the next time you’d see him. Hand propping your chin, staring off into a whiteboard filled with math equations as the teacher droned on. The last week of school was a buzzkill, bittersweet, and painfully long. 

You wanted it to end. For it to be Summer, to be scott-free and without responsibilities. But that also brought changes and your second stage of life was on the horizon.

****

The time came and both of you decided to take a year off from college. Work and save up some money. Spend time together as much you can. 

You planned on going away to school a few hours away. Brian hadn’t quite decided, but it looked to be the same. 

Both of you would attend the same school and it would work out well. Eventually, you both got through the next four years with your brains intact for the better. He majored in music production with a minor in entrepreneurship. He wanted to do something in music, start his own band and maybe build his own label. You majored in _____ and loved it. And your relationship had lasted, strengthened. Finding a quiet peace and home in one another. A thing you quietly wished for in your heart and didn’t know you needed until you found it.

The freedom to be yourself with another. One who would love and accept you, regardless of the circumstances and the changes.

But it didn’t always make it easy. You had been having feelings about your body. Ones that you didn’t quite like and found increasingly frustrating to have. To not have the words, the names, to understand and express how you felt.

You already knew you weren’t straight. That had long been established to yourself and to Brian’s knowledge. He didn’t care- well, that wasn’t quite the right way to put it. He was supportive of your queerness and actually encouraged it. You both were fluid as a snake- bodies and gender thrown right out of the door. What mattered was the person, the attraction, and the two of you- had a lot of that for one another.

He also wasn’t one to put up many questions about the way you dressed. Switching out fem for? Masculine? He was game. He liked your style, even sowed on some patches on your jacket when he asked. Though as time wore on, catching the way you shield away from your chest… Your feelings about your body… He noticed. 

“Hey babe?” He slid into the frame of the doorway, hand grasping the side of the wood as he leaned in. Watching you do your hair, clothed, and fixing your hair.

“Yeah? What’s up?” You looked at him through the mirror, running a comb through your head. “Is my coffee ready?”

“Yeah, it’s on the kitchen table. With your toast,” He walked in, looking quiet. Tentative. “Can I talk to you about something?”

You turned, “Yeahhhh…” Your voice fluttered, knowing that face he makes. It made you uneasy. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“Are you… alright? You’ve been distant lately, like somethings on your mind,” He paused, looking down. Guilty, “Did I do something wrong? Are we alright?” He leaned his back against the wall, thumbs hooked into his jean pockets. Glancing up at you.

You set down the brush, turning, “Yeah,” You coed softly. Tenderly to the sweet man, “We’re okay, I’m just going through some stuff,” It was easier to put that into words. You needed time to figure things out, to share how you felt. You didn’t even have them for yourself, at least not clearly.

You hoped time would reveal itself, help your understand and work through what you were feeling.

And you didn’t know how it would change you. Or, for the matter, Brian. Your relationship with him.

He gestured to you, beat, “Do you.. Wanna talk about it?”

It fell on silence, unsure.

“Yes… but not now. I need some time,” You stepped, drawing his eyes.

“Like… how long?” It was bugging him, an itch he can’t scratch. A problem he saw, a frustration he can’t touch.

It was yours, and one that effected him. He wanted you happy and content.

To ease your pain.

“I’m not sure,” You slipped a hand into his and locked fingers together. Drawing his hand up and lined your hips with his. Brian’s other slip around your waist, pulling you close. “You’re going to have to wait, to trust me until I’m ready to talk about it. But I do love you- and it’s not because of you,” You pressed your lips to his, slowly lifting them away. “Or something you’ve done. We’re okay.”

“Alright, I just-” He looked into your eyes, vulnerable. “I want you to be happy, no matter what. Whatever it is.”

“And I thank you for that, I really do. I appreciate it,” Another press, lips locked, tongues twisting for a moment. 

“Oh? Is someone?” 

You laughed, caught red-handed, “Yeah, a bit.” You mused.

****

And for a while, it was left like that. You ordered yourself a proper binder and he was properly happy for you, seeing you excited to go and slip it on as soon as it came in the mail. You checked yourself out in the mirror, beaming as you found a sense of newfound confidence and comfort in your appearance. Your body.

He liked the way you smelled after you changed deodorants. You smelled rich and musky, one that you both adored. For him, it was intoxicating. Even picked up your armpit in bed as you yelped, his head buried in your pit to get a good whiff of your scent. Both of you sent laughing and shouting and you play fought in bed, beating back the monster you so endearingly loved.

“Fucking hell Brian!! Give me my arm back!”

“No! Never!” He bellowed, hand tightening around your wrist, pinning it against the wall as your feet kicked against him. He loved it, making you mad and crazy at the same time.

Tickling was your enemy! One that he used and abused, to get you laughing and squirming as he tied his body around yes. Pressing kisses to your cheek like a woodpecker.

****

Eventually, you found answers. The internet helped and a good stack of books about gender. It worked to ease your feelings about your body and the amount of envy you had for the masculine. It was difficult at first, being able to sort through attraction and gender envy at the same time. Slowly, you found answers. A confirmation of your feelings and way of life. The amount of euphoria you received when the simple stranger called you ‘man’ or ‘sir’ felt glorious. Elating and at home with yourself in a way that felt right. A homecoming.

You started to approach the subject with Brian. The two of you were friends with trans people, but it still felt fresh. Weird, and confusing to go through yourself. Being trans still didn’t give you cut and dry answers, it was a journey. A grey area because, even through they had gone through that journey, it was still personal. You had to find answers for yourself and the world is a weird, wild place.

But, it didn’t mean you were something else. Or strange for that matter- you were you, and that’s what mattered. You were exploring.

You two had been laying in bed. A quiet Saturday day spent outside, running errands and going to the farmers market to buy fresh produce and bread. It was lovely and peaceful. You guys had turned into bed early, curled under a soft comforter as you sprawled out in bed. The sun had set.

“Hey,” You whispered, dusting a piece of long hair out of his face. He was turned towards you, a fit of blankets wrapped around him as his body cupped towards yours. 

“Hey,” He yawned, eyes fluttering in sleepiness.

You dusted a finger along his jaw, his chest slowly rising and falling. A ham all baked like a warm potato. “Can we talk?”

He shifted his head closer to your touch, liking the way you slowly stroked his skin. “Yeah, what’s up?” He yawned.

“I’ve been thinking, for a while now. That I might be trans,” You paused, wanting to release the next few words from your brain. “I think I am.”

“Oh?” He shifted up, sitting up now and trying to wake up his brain. Serious conversation time. “Really?” His voice was kind, asking for confirmation.

You nodded, “Yes.”

“As in nonbinary or trans masc?” He ran a hand through his hair, swooping the fluff back. Pulling himself together.

You laughed, feeling the butterflies swarm in your stomach. “Trans masculine.”

“Okay,” he smiled, nodding. Taking it in. “So uh, what do you want to do? If anything at all?”

“Honey-” You pestered, giving him a look.

“I’m asking! That’s up to you!” He was ginger, trying not to pry but dying inside. The questions!

“Clothes, that’s for one thing.”

“You’re already wearing my boxers- we gotta get you more of those.”

You had been stealing them from him. They were comfy, among other things. You couldn’t help but crack a guilty smile. He had mentioned it before when he had ran out, pissed because he hated wearing dirty ones.

“And shirts, and some good cuffed jeans-” You added.

“Dickie’s has those, we can thrift you Carhart’s from Goodwill.”

You paused, holding your breath. Holding onto the next few words, as if they couldn’t be taken back. Releasing them into the world, “And transitioning. I think I want to do that too.” 

He reached for your hand, his thumb stroking your palm as the two of you laid in bed. Him looking down at you as your sprawled out, your elbow propping yourself up. “Okay, if that’s what you want, I support you. I want that too,” He pulled up your hand and pressed his lips to them softly. Firmly intertwining his fingers with yours, squeezing them tightly. Securely.

“Do you want to go by different pronouns? A name?”

“Yes, I want to be named Y/N,” You smiled, feeling his hands pull you in.  Draw around you in a deep hug as he slid down to your level, comforting and embracing you. “I want to go by he/him pronouns.” You chuckled against his skin, head buried into the crook of his neck.

“Well hello my Prince, I’m so glad to meet you Y/N,” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, smiling through it as your heart brust. Crying in relief, in tears of joy and relief.

“You’re not mad?” You squeaked, tears rolling down your cheek.

“Baby~” He purred, pulling back, to look into your eyes. “Of course not, I want you to be happy. You’re precious to me,” He said, soothing you. “Is this what’s been bothering you?”

You nodded.

“I’ve been… wondering about it,” He mused. “I kinda figured it out after you bought your binder and started shaving your face. You barely had peach fuz but you looked so happy… so, much more bright that day,” You had slowly been trying things out. Listening to your body and how you felt. Changing your style, presenting more masculine. You even bought clothes from the men’s section and started to let go using gender specific pronouns for yourself. To ease the pain of dysphoria while you figured out feelings. Your therapist helped. 

“But I’ve been waiting until you tell me, that’s your stuff,” He wiped your chin, brushing off the stream of tears. “I know you’d tell me eventually, whatever your answer was- I want to support you. I chose that long ago, I stand by that.” He smiled, adding, “And if things change in the future, that’s okay too. Gender and bodies are a tricky thing.”

There was so many choices- my so options- in how trans people choose to express themselves. All of them are valid, it’s what makes you happy is the most important thing. What aligns with yourself.

“Thank you,” You sniffled, peaking out a smile. You were happy, and now tired, and just wanted to curl up in bed. The rush of emotions flooding your system, the bent of stress and relief washing over your system. Draining you. 

You wanted to feel this moment in its security, its acceptance. “That means a lot to me Brian.”

“Of course- and for what it matters-” He leaned into your ear, whispering, “I think you make a handsome man. And will continue too.” 

“It doesn’t change things- between us?”

He shrugged, unfazed, “I don’t think so. I’m attracted to you and I like men so-” Another quizzical look, “I don’t see how it would change things in that department. I think I need to know more but I don’t think so.”

You raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I want to read more about it so I can help you. I know it can be hard for trans people to get the resources they need to transition. We’re going to both go through this and I want to help you. -If that’s what you want, of course.”

“Oh! Okay,” you nodded. You slid down together, laying in each others arms. Curled underneath the seats, your tears dried up. Heart shining. “I want that, your help. I fucking hate calling the doctors office.”

He laughed, “I know! I know!” You would get stressed, talking on the phone could be weird sometimes. It made you anxious.

You tucked your head into his chest, hearing it beat with the life you held so closely. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close. “Thank you Bri, for everything.”

“Of course Y/N,” He spoke softly, warm. “I love you, you’re my everything.”

The two of you drifted off to sleep in bed, listening to the sound of Summer rain come in through the window. Drops slapping against the hard concrete, easing you into a deep slumber.

****

The two of you got along better after that. You were able to save up enough money to see a gender therapist. A general practice doctor that specialized in transgender health, giving you access to the hormone treatments you so desperately needed.

The changes came slow at first, the T being newly added to your system. Eventually, the body hair came in. Sprouting up your legs and turning thicker, darker, up your knees. Your body weight shifted, redistributing around your body with a healthy addition of exercise. Your jaw widened, spotting itself with facial hair which you so proudly grew. Cleaned up and trimmed, sculpting it to your desire. 

That was one of your favorite moments. When you asked Brian to show you how he shaved his face. He pulled out of his bag of clippers, helped you learn how to wash your face and spread shaving cream on your face. How to guide the razor against your skin, trimming the well grown facial hair.

“-Like this- you gotta go against the grain if you want it smooth,” You were both creamed up, with your hair clipped back. He had a headband pushing his strands back, keeping it from falling into his face.

“Okay,” You mumbled in front of the mirror, guiding the razor across your skin. Wincing when you nicked yourself and hoping you don’t do that again.

“It’ll get easier, trust me,” He assured, slicking the last bit of cream off of his clean face. He mostly kept himself clean shaven, though there was a time where he rocked a thin mustache. Even some musky stubble around his cheeks. Which you loved.

And so was your transition. 

In time, you qrew to love and enjoy your body even more. Seeing the face you so expected- and wished for- being reflected in the mirror. Muscles come in, adjusting your body shape to one that you desired.

Brian was very supportive. Even helped you find a good doctor for your top surgery. He pitched in money for your procedure, taking some extra hours as the store manager at the record shop where he worked. He was planning on taking it over from the owner in a few years. He had helped them expand into a second storefront. He was proud of it.

He drove you to your surgery, making sure you had everything prepared. Extra magazines, music, books, even your sketch pad and journal if you so wished it. You would sleep after your surgery in the hospital bed, groggy and tired from the boat load of meds and painkillers lulling you to a peaceful state. He wanted to make sure you were content, that you healed well and passed the time while you recovered. The tiny hospital tv having few channels to capture your attention. He ready to help you pass the time.

After your surgery, you couldn’t move your arms very much. At least not above your head. It would pull at your incisions, the area bruised and draining of fluids. He would tend to you, changing your bandages and helping you get things from the kitchen cupboards. Asking you to relax and let him take over- when you insisted on cooking dinner. That you felt fine, that the pain wasn’t too bad. Even though your chest ached, he didn’t want you to push yourself.

It was okay to lean on someone else, to let them tend to you at times in need.

He adored you and embraced the new found man you had become. He liked hearing you softly talk into his ear, listening to how your voice had dropped. Had changed, deepened, and thickened. It was an adventure for the both of you, one that you happily embraced and found a new home. In you, yourself, and each other.

He was proud to call you his boyfriend, his favorite man on Earth.

#gleaming the cube #brian kelly #brian kelly x reader #brian kelly x trans masc reader #brian kelly x transman reader #brian kelly x transgender #trans #trans man #fan fic #tyler writes #queer fan fic #queer #i fucking loved writing this fic #gender euphoria #its okay to be trans #being trans is BEAUTIFUL! #happy and healthy relationships #based in love and support for one another #wholesome

[yamithediaperdork]

Crime and punishment (MHA)

Crime and Punishment

Out of all the duties that Katsuki thought was a waste of time for hero's in training and legends of awesomeness like himself, Touring experimental new prisons had to be up there near the top. Normally he'd be able to bully someone else in the class into taking the job off his hands but today no such luck as the teachers had taken notice and were watching him like a god damn hawk. Adding to his bucket of annoyance was who he was partnered up with for this little tour, Izuku Midoriya himself..or as Katsuki preferred to call the green haired cry baby: Deku. (though it did spoil some of his fun his cruel nickname for the weakling had been taken by the crybaby as his hero name. still...) Adding to the total bullshit that this assignment was, not only were they suppose to take notes and report back with their suggestions so the full trained heroes could make a judgment call (which rendered the whole fucking thing moot if you asked Katsuki his humble opinion) But they had to do it in costume. Being of the mindset he put on his uniform to fight and blow things up, not do paperwork, this just served to piss the already poorly tempered hero in training off even more. they were currently in the office of the warden for this new experiential jail and he'd gone off into his own little world while the balding man with the big nose rambled on and on. He knew Deku would be a good little suck up and soak in every word and he'd just copy the nerd's report when this was all done anyways. He only tuned back in when Deku nudged him with his elbow and Katsuki realized they had been talking to him and he'd just been staring off into space. "what?" He asked. "..As I was telling your collage here, we need you to both sign some waivers given the technology that will be on display here, as well as a wavier not to tell anyone other then the hero's your reporting too about what you saw here today." the warden said, frowning. "Yeah yeah, whatever. just give me the stupid paper work and lets get this over with." Katsuki said. "Ah, Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite...I think you should read the paper work and make sure you know what your signing first. Since you kinda..zoned out there." Deku said. "whatever nerd." Katsuki said, though GOD he loved his hero name and leaned in as if he was going to humor the nerd..then just signed the paper work. The warden rolled his eyes but took out two badges that the heroes could wear around their necks and handed them over. "..what, you think SOMEHOW your guards are gonna mistake us for some of your inmates?" Katsuki asked and Deku face palmed. "I really wish you'd just pay attention.." the crybaby whined softly. "what?!" Katsuki huffed. "Maybe if you didn't have the attention span of a toddler Mr..and I can't believe I'm even going to say this.. 'Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite', You'd of heard how much of our system is automated and that badge will keep you from being seen as a prisoner by the computers." the Warden said dryly. "..Who you calling a tod-" Katsuki started, but Deku stepped in and broke it up.

Huffing and pouty, Katsuki trailed behind the warden and Deku as they talked on and on and pictured how easy it would be to just toss a little blast at their feet, for a jump scare. 'heh, better now. Deku will just wet himself and bawl like a baby, again. They should just get a pacifier for him to suck on like the big baby he is.' Katsuki mused, mentally picturing Deku in just a oversized diaper and in a playpen, oversized paci in his mouth and bawling. So vivid was the mental image for a second Katsuki thought he must of been imposing it as he looked into one of the cells. Because there on the floor, hugging a teddy bear was a bald tanned skinned man, maybe in his 30, and he was dressed like a fucking toddler. like, as in paw patrol socks on, and he was wearing a freaking diaper shirt with a dino print on it and uh, yeah.. Mother fucking diapers that showed due to their thickness! the guy didn't even seem to notice him, he was busy sucking on a paci and watching a tv in the room. "what the fuckkkkk?" Katsuki laughed out loud. "..and I see the toddler is back with us." the warden said. "I'ma let that slide because what the fuck? why's that guy in huggies?" Katsuki asked, jerks a thumb at the window and snickering. "We uh..we went over this in the office Great Explosion Murder Death God..This prison is utilizing a new form of regressive therapy.." Deku said, rubbing the back of his head. "Man, the fuck did this guy do to end up being put back in pampers?" Katsuki asked. "must of been a real terror in actual prison for them to make him partake in this!" "-sigh- for the benefit of toddlers who don't listen.." The warden said, coming over and taping a few button on the control panel by the prisoners door, and the wall became transparent for them to get a better view. "Call me a toddler one more time, I fucking dare you." Katsuki grumbled. "ANYWAYS! Every one of the inmates in this prison is a volunteer who is getting 10 years shaved off of their sentences to try this. If the program is approved and if they wish to keep being part of it, further time will be shaved off." The warden said. "Each cell  is equipped to look after and care for the inmates as if they were little boys or girls since it's a unisex prison, or if they just happen to be transgender. it's not OUR place to judge them." As the warden spoke, the prisoner who apparently didn't know he was being watched, suddenly got up on his knees and hugged a stuffie close to his chest as he started to make scrunchie faces. "..Is he.." Deku asked, turning and looking away to give the guy privacy. "Oh yeah, he's totally baking brownies." Katsuki snorted. As Katsuki and the warden watched, the back of the inmates diaper shirt and well, of course, diapers puffed out and expanded, to the point the crotch snaps burst open. "Sheesh, fucker must of been holding it in for ages." Katsuki observed. "actually it's part of the diet their on, we feel frequent and massive movements help with breaking down their ego's and let's them accelerate the reforming processes." The warden said proudly. "Righttt..ok fess up. you just like making tough guys shit they're brains out right?" Katsuki asked and chuckled. "..Your a very unpleasant person. I'm going to make a request you NOT be sent for the follow up review." "Oh nooo, I don't have to come here and listen to you drone on and on and watch adults crap themselves. I'm soooo heart broken about that." Katsuki said and rolled his eyes. walking away from the scene and leaving Deku trying to look over and make sure it was ok, Katsuki fiddled with his badge as he walked away from them and missed the sight of the metal arms coming out of the walls and attending to the stinky inmate, though Deku did take a interest in this part can came over to watch. "He doesn't um..seem that upset." Deku said. "oh this isn't his first dirty diaper, and there are speakers in there with a calming female voice praising him for making such a big present and telling him what a good boy he is. again, it could of been a male or female voice, we go with what works best for the inmate." Indeed, one of the metal arms with white gloved hands was coming down now and gently patted the inmates squishy bottom as his head, making the man blush but give a big toothy smile. "you wouldn't know it to look at him now, but he was a several bank robber and known for his brutal tactics. I figure with this treatment he'll be reformed in maybe 4 years..5 tops." The warden said with pride in his voice. "wow..I thought he looked familiar..Hey Ka- Great Explosion Murder God Dynamite, you gotta come and see-" Deku turned to call Katsuki over and the machines started to lift the inmate to a changing table, but the Blond was gone. "What a shock. the toddler wandered off." The warden said, and punched in a command on the control panel again, making the wall go back to normal. "we'd better go and find him.." Deku nodded and they headed up the hall towards where the the hall split into two paths, and it was there Deku looked down and found Katsuki's ID badge. "uhhh warden? what are the chances he'll be snagged without this on?" Deku asked, holding it up. "Between his attuide and wandering off into areas without at least someone else wearing a badge? 93 percent." The warden said, clearly amused. "...Weeeee better hurry...if they try and diaper him he's libel to blown this whole place up. "

Katsuki had at some point stopped playing with his badge and was just busy looking in at the different inmates, trying to see if he knew any of them from news reports and the like on tv. He made a point of knocking on the windows and getting the big babies attention and smirked as they would blush and hide (well some of them, others would just give a sheepish wave and others outright ignored him) Sadly there didn't seem to be any super villains locked up, though then again what villain would of volunteered for something like this? He was making his way to the next cell when suddenly a green light scanned over him, hurting his eyes for a second. "Ow! the fuck!?" he growled, rubbing at them. "Warning: inmate in hallway and not in proper attire. deploying prisoner recapture protocols." A robotic voice called out in the hallway, then was replaced with a sugary sweet male who started to scold him. "Now now, what are you doing out of your cell, and without your cute widdle outfit on little man? you don't wanna make a mess everywhere do you?" as it spoke, multiple holes in the walls opened up and more of the metal arms with the white gloved hands came out of them. "Uh..Hold up, I'm a superhero visiting. I've got a badge and-" Katsuki said, gulping a little and taking a step back, reaching for the badge and finding it gone. "...Well shit on a stick. guess we're doing this the hard way." Having only expected to be doing a little walk around, he hadn't stored any of his explosive sweat for use, though with a fair idea of what these things wanted to do with him, he was flop sweating enough to make up for it. "Such foul language! somebodies in for a mouth washing if he doesn't start behaving! you're already getting a spanking and corner time mister." the Voice announced. "Counter offer: fuck you." Katsuki said and went to work, blowing up two of the arms right off the bat and chagrining in, there was NO way he was gonna lose to a bunch of shitty robot arms! Or that was the going theory till as he got close one of the hands opened up and sprayed a green mist in his face. coughing and then seeing double, Katsuki pouted and got out a final statement before collapsing to the floor. "Knock out gas? No fairrrr!"

He woke up shortly after, and found himself in one of the nursery cells and almost totally naked.  the almost part came from the thick mitten that had been put on both of his hands rendering his powers useless and the booties on his feet. "Nggggh.. damn cheating bas-" "Foul language detected! Bad boy! somebodies getting a mouth washing!" came the male voice over the intercom and before Katsuki could even try and fight back he found himself forced to sit up on the changing change and his arms pinned at his sides by two of the arms.A third one came out of the wall wielding a wet and sudsy bar of soap and Katsuki glared. "Go fuck yourself if you thin-" he started to rant, not quite figuring out that he should of kept his mouth shut and as such the bar was forced into his mouth and he couldn't spit it out, eyes shutting tight and soapy drool trails leaking down his chin. "Maybe five minutes as a soap sucker will help you stop swearing Little guy..but daddy isn't going to hold his breath." the voice said. 'oh good, not only is it a crazy fucking AI that wants to make me a diaper baby..but one with a sense of humor.' Katsuki thought dryly.

Five minutes later and the bar was carefully removed but held close, clearly the machine was waiting to see if he'd learned his lesson. Katsuki for his part was PISSED and wiped at his touage with his mitten hands, trying to get rid of the icky taste. 'Ok Katsuki..you've seen what being a brat got you..let's tone down the attuide and try logic...' He thought, eyeing the walls warily. He hadn't been diapered YET but it was clear that was where he was heading if he didn't figure something out. "uh..What do I call you?" Katsuki said. "Daddy of course little man,m or would you prefer a mommy?" the voice said cheerfully. 'I'd prefer someone dumped a bucket of water on your CPU' Katsuki thought but with GREAT effort kept the comment to himself. "C-Can we talk logically for a second and hold off the diapers? ..Please?" Katsuki said, giving a smile to show he was trying to be good but said smile would of terrified young kids. "..heh I'll hear you out." "Ok so..Were you programed to accept any new inmates at all today? do you have a profile on me that tells you what crimes I supposedly did?" "Scanning..Nope." Daddy said. "Alright..then if I'm not in the system, then I must be telling the truth when I tell you I'm not a inmate right?" Katsuki said and smiled for real. "Hmmm.. well the programmers have been known to be lax when it comes to updates..and you've already earned a 2 month prison term regardless." Daddy said. "What!? what for!?!" Katsuki demanded. the tv clicked to life and footage of Katsuki destroying two of the arms was played. "Destruction of government property." "..ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? YOU STARTED THAT FIGHT!" "Hmmm mouth washing didn't work, let's try anther something else..." Daddy said and the arms moved in again and restrained Katsuki on his tummy and to his horror, a large enema bag was brought out and a rather large looking nozzle. "I bet your just so grumpy because your backed up little guy!" daddy said. "..I really..really..Hate these kind of missions..." Katsuki whimpered.

Deku and the warden did finally find Katsuki, but it was only after finding the scene of the fight, and the warden warning Deku that the machine was programed to automatically add a months sentence for every damaging attack on it. "I mean, I'm sure if we get the head programmer in here we can clear that up..but the machines AI automatically files the charges with the DA so we'll have to talk to them too." the warden explained. With that knowledge in mind Deku thought he'd been prepared to see Katsuki, having known by that point he'd likely been er well..dressed as a inmate. Getting to the cell the warden believed he was in, he punched in the code to make the wall transparent and well..they were greeted by the site of a enema nozzle JUST coming out of Katsuki's backside, and he was being rapidly taped up in a massive white diaper. the blond brat's tummy was bloated and Deku almost could swear he could hear it sloshing and a Pacifier gag had been strapped to his mouth. "He must of been using excessive swearing for it to paci gag him." the warden said, sounding amused. "Yeahhh I can see that.. Uh..Anyway you can try and get this to stop? Like.maybe it won't release him but is there a training potty or something at least?" Deku asked, rubbing the back of his head. truthfully while he wanted to bust a gut laughing he knew that wouldn't be fair to Katsuki, even if the brat had brought this on himself. "Nope. once one of the super poopers goes on, it doesn't come off till filled to the brim." The warden chuckled. "..Super poopers?" "the name of that massive diaper the toddler is wearing." "..you know your enjoying this a little too much." "Oh come on, and your not, even a little bit?" Before Deku could answer he's eyes were drawn to Katsuki as the blond hunched over and loudly whined though his gag, the warden had taken the extra step of making it so they could hear everything too. "Anddd I don't think he's gonna last long enough for a training potty to get in there anyways." taping on the control panel, Katsuki went from staring down at the floor, sweat dripping at his face to looking at them and his cheeks flushed red. he held up one mitten covered hand and waved it, trying to get them to look away but daddy spoke up. "oh look little guy! you have visitors! Hello warden, How are you today?" Daddy asked.

Katsuki whined and started to cry. between the cramps and the utter humiliation of being seen like this he lost any sense of bravo and turned away from the pair watching him, trying to find somewhere to hide before he well, disgraced himself. "I'm fine Daddy. You've made a mistake though daddy, This isn't a inmate of the prison." Katsuki whimpered, massive diaper butt wiggling as he tried to crawl under the crib in the nursery and hearing Deku snort and start to laugh before coughing. "Oh, I guess the little guy was right. It doesn't matter though, per regulation 3467 he's been sentenced to two months of baby rehabilitation warden. the DA has already approved and made it final." Daddy said. "Of course you can start a appeal but that will take 3-5 business days and my little guy here is about to make presents." "wait, how can it get approved if they don't even know who he is?" Deku asked. "I sent a picture of the big baby to be to the DA's office and they handled the rest." Daddy said cheerfully. "..Man I know he pissed off some of the DA last month when they tried to give him a lecture but.." Deku said and rubbed the back of his head. "oh so he's just a ray of sunshine for everyone huh?" any further conversation was drowned out as hearing how he might actually be stuck in baby land for two whole fucking months, Katsuki lost the battle of will's and the back of his massive diaper started to fill up. a little meter even appears as the mushy mess poured out of him, going from 'clean' to 'oppise poopise' in a matter of seconds and heading for 'whoa, stinky' at a alarming pace. "awwww see? I knew my little guy was backed up! Oh! Receiving data from the DA...Update file...There's my good little Katsuki! who's a good super pooper? and such a silly baby, trying to hide!" Daddy coo'ed and then two arms came out and dragged him out from his half way hidden spot under the crib. a rocking horse was moved over as Katsuki was picked up in the air and he shook his head no over and over, but was planted with a SQUISH anyways. "Ride'em cowboy!" Daddy encouraged and Katsuki lost it and was full on bawling, even as he was forced to rock back and forth.

One week later and Katsuki had semi gotten used to his new daily routine. it didn't mean he liked having to wear and use diapers or the stupid fucking baby food or formula..but after 3 days of being gagged except for when eating he'd learned to keep his opinions to himself. he was just a baby in daddy's eyes after all as he was reminded. He got used to the squishy warm wetness that came with a wet diaper though still bawled like..well a baby every time he pooped though he made a honest to god effort to load his diapers at least twice a day to avoid anther enema. Making things so much worse for poor Katsuki was the fact that somehow it'd gotten leaked where he was, though both the warden and Deku claimed it wasn't either of them, and as such other students from the school LOVED to come back and watch Katsuki in his baby punishment. Katsuki didn't even think they should of been able to get in but the bastard warden was handing out passes like candy on Halloween night. Still, Deku had promised he'd follow up on getting Katsuki's appeal put though and get him out, and he should be getting out either today or the next. Or so he thought till a sheepish and squirming Deku visited him. "Ummm.. Sooo I have some bad news." he said. "..Don't tell me they rejected the appeal!?!" Katsuki whimpered and whined. "Uh..yeah..see..It's a little bit worse then that. After reviewing the footage and all the facts..the judge decided that you not only deserve the two months in here..he..might a added 3 month on top." "WHAT!?! But..But..I..But.." Katsuki whimpered, plopping on his diapered behind and picking up a nearby stuffie, cuddling it. "T-That's..thats not fair!" "W-well he says as a hero in training..you need to be held to a higher standard..and thanked me for pushing so much on the appeal, he wouldn't of thought of it otherwise..soooo..uh..Sorry?" Deku squeaked out. "Your sorry? Your SORRY!? I'm the one who's gonna be crapping his pants for almost half a year and YOUR sorry!?!" Katsuki growled. "Little man.." Daddy warned. "uh..Katsuki..you might wan-" Deku started but Katsuki tossed the stuffie at the wall. "know what? FUCK IT! If I'm gonna be here and get a stupid diaper punishment I might as well fucking earn it. fuck YOU! fuck DADDY, and fu-" was as far as he got before the gag was popped back in. "I'm sorry Deku, somebody is cranky and need a little time out. please come back later." Daddy said. Not wanting to watch whatever punishment the blond was about to get, Deku nodded and walked away, wondering if he maybe should of mentioned that every time daddy was forced to punish Katsuki, the blond would get a week added. 'Nah..I'll just mention it to him tomorrow when I visit.'

the end?

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guild Wars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,  Chapters 10 and 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16 , Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20,  Chapter 21, Chapter 22

Chapter 23

"Out late again, huh?" She said in a sassy tone.

"Up late again, huh! Shouldn't you be in bed already?"

"Were you out with that charr girlfriend again? Getting some of that, rawwrrrr?"

Kaleb lost it.

“SHUT UP RACHEL! I'm sick of your nonsense!"

She screamed back. "Well it's true! You have been seeing her, haven't you?"

"It's none of your damned business who I see!"

The commotion woke up their youngest sibling, Katie. Within a few moments, she ambled down the stairs carrying her stuffed teddy bear as she looked at her big brother with a sleepy set of eyes.

"Why are you yelling?"

Kaleb ran to her and picked her up. "Sorry sweetie. Your big sister and I were just having a little discussion. Rachel - put her to bed, please."

"Why me? You were the one who woke her up by yelling at the top of your lungs," Rachel retorted.

"DO AS I SAY!" Kaleb erupted.

Forgetting that he was holding his little sister close to his mouth, the force of his shout hurt Katie's ears to the point she started bawling. The noise had finally drawn the attention of Mother Shirley who had come to investigate what all the hoopla was about.

"What in Dwayna's name is going on here??" Mother Grimwald said tersely as she strode over to comfort a wailing Katie.

"Sorry, mom. It's just Rachel being a little mouthy brat, that's all," Kaleb commented while trying to console his bawling little sister.

"At least I'm not getting pussy...cat late at night with a charr!" Rachel shot back.

Kaleb was now flushed with rage. "Don't you know when to cut it??"

Shirley looked her son in the eyes as the nature of her facial expression began to change. "Rachel - take Katie to her room right this instant! Son - that look on your face... I've seen it before."

"What are you talking about, mom?"

"He's in love with that charr. The two of them have been doing it with each other. I have proof," Rachel said as she carried Katie up to her room.

"What are Kal and the charr doing with each other?" Katie asked innocently.

"Nevermind sis. When you get older, you'll understand," her older sister said as she opened the door to her younger sister's room.

"Kaleb! Is it... is it, true? Have you actually been...?" His mother was at a loss for words.

"Mom. Rachel is trying to embarrass me, that's all."

His mother's look suddenly changed from shock to an expression of sadness mixed with rage. "No. Nooo. By Lyssa's mercy, it can't be!!"

Shirley began to bawl openly as she pointed towards her son. Within moments, the elder Grimwald, Daniel, stepped in from the back kitchen door while hobbling along using a crutch. As soon as she saw her husband, she walked over towards him, nestled her head into his chest crying then pointed towards Kaleb.

"Our son has been having relations with that female charr! I know that look on his face anywhere. It's the look of a forlorn lover, that's what it is!" His mother's bawling became even more intense.

"What's this all about? Shirley, what in the Sixs' name is going on?" Daniel said as he tried comforting his distraught wife.

"He is in love with that charr whose life he saved, that's what. Ever wonder why he packed so much meat during his picnics?"

Moments later, Rachel came down the stairs carrying a large book with a tan parchment piece of paper inserted between the pages.

"He has been screwing that charr too. Here - I have proof!"

His sister ran to the dining room table then laid out the book. She opened it to the pages displaying the explicit illustrations of charr engaged in mating positions. She also placed the letter on the table that Amalthia had written to Kaleb as well.

Both of Kaleb's parents saw the illustrations as Rachel stood back with a wide, sinister grin on her face.

"Son. Is this true?" The elder Grimwald asked with a voice of shock.

"What are you talking about?" Kaleb responded.

"Did you have carnal relations with a charr?" His mother asked pointedly. "Rachel - go to your room NOW young lady. I will discuss the nature of your possession of such a filthy book at a later time. For now, just go!"

The middle child ran back to her room but not before giving Kaleb a razzing before departing.

"Answer you mother's question, son. Did you have unholy relations?" His father asked in an even tone.

Kaleb stood his ground. "Father, there is nothing about our relationship that is unholy. She and I have been together for awhile."

"Answer the damn question, son... did you have this kind of relationship with her?" His father said as he pointed towards the graphic illustrations.

"What business is it of yours if I did?" His son spat.

His mother summoned the courage to read the love letter. When she did her expression turned to sheer horror. Father Grimwald read it as well. When he did, his face darkened with anger.

"So it's true... you are in love with this charr."

Mother Grimwald became unhinged as she ran over, grabbed the objectionable book and began tearing the pages to shreds. As she shredded the material, she began reciting every scriptural verse she was able to recall.

"This evil is to never defile our blessed house again! Such immoral filth has corrupted your soul, son. May Grenth have mercy on your misguided deeds," she said as she frantically began gathering up the hewn remnants of the book.

"Well, Grenth can just stick it where the sun don't shine! Same goes for the other Five. And yes, I am in love with Amalthia. She has a name in case you didn't comprehend that. Oh, and hail Abaddon!" Kaleb snarked as he gave a mocking ceremonial bow to a god he did not believe in.

His father had reached his breaking point. "Son. You do not blaspheme the Six and you certainly do not praise the Fallen One. What's happened to you?"

"I fell in love, dad. With someone I truly care about and who truly cares about me. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Patricia cares about you, about us, about this family!" His father shot back.

"She only cares about this land, father. You more than anyone knows this to be true."

"Why, son. Whyyy??" Shirley started to bawl again.

"So you leave a perfectly beautiful girl with a prosperous loving family to be with, to be with an animal?"

Kaleb's rage had tipped the boiling point as well. "If you weren't my dad, I would deck you for calling Amalthia that. Grow a godsdamn backbone for a change, father! You only approve of Trish because Mom is so desperate for a Grimwald to pop out some grandkids. She doesn't have any clue how much Trish's father, Milton, has been coveting this land and for how long."

"That's it, son! You've talked back to me, insulted your mother, blasphemed the Six and committed unholy relations with a beast. You Kaleb Grimwald, are no longer welcome to stay under this abode!" His father shouted in a raging tone that Kaleb had never heard before.

"So you're kicking me out onto the streets? Who’s going to run your business?"

"My brother, Bill, and his son will offer a hand. Either way, I'll manage. I just want you out of this house within the hour. Otherwise I will call the authorities," Daniel said as he gave his son a harsh glare. Kaleb sunk to the floor as a torrent of tears fell from his dark brown eyes. Everything that he ever knew and loved was collapsing all around him at once.

It took a little over an hour for Kaleb to pack his belongings. When he was finished, he wandered with only a backpack over his shoulders and his trusty weapons by his side. As he was heading down, Katie opened the door from her room then ran down the stairs to hug him.

"You have a nappie pack on. Where are you going?"

Kaleb knelt down and hugged her. "It's okay, sweetheart. Big brother has to go away for a while. Remember, no matter what happens, your big brother will always love ya."

"How long will you be gone?" His little sister asked.

"I wish I knew, Katie," Kaleb said as he leaned past her and looked at his father's stern expression.

I wish I knew.

He departed the one place he had called home his entire life. Once a promising son who was slated to take over the wagon making business, was now unemployed, destitute and - for the first time in his life - without a place to call home.

Kaleb knew the only place that was like a home away from home for him was the Jotun's Corpse tavern. Perhaps Ulfgar would offer him a place to stay. He had the skills to become a freelance bounty hunter along with plenty of local connections, so finding a way of earning income wouldn't be a problem. At least he wanted to believe that, anyways.

When he arrived at the tavern, it was already past one in the morning. By this time, the establishment would normally be closed. However, on this night, he found that the gaslights were still illuminated. As he reached for the door handle, he noticed a hand-written note that was stuck to the front window.

Kaleb:

A special someone has been waiting here for you for quite some time. Feel free to come in.

~Ulf

The bar was empty save for the massive norn who was wiping down the mahogany top. Kaleb walked forward and Ulfgar waved for him to sit down.

"Took you long enough to get here. What's with the long face, boy?"

Kaleb looked down somberly. "Long story. I got your note on the door. Who's this 'special' someone?"

The old norn looked at him, smiled then waved his hand as if gesturing for an unseen someone to come on over. "Who could be, eh? A mighty fine lass, she is."

"Kaleb?" Came the voice from behind the young man.

He recognized it immediately.

"Amalthia??"

When he turned around to look, he saw her standing there, head bowed, her somber amber eyes looking straight at him. As she approached, her facial expression changed to a much more joyous one as she opened her arms wide.

"Kaleb! Get over here, you!" The two lovers embraced and Kaleb's heart was filled with a measure of happiness once more.

"I can't believe you waited all this time hoping that I'd be here. Not that I'm complaining, mind you," he said to her as they held hands.

Amalthia's ears twitched while squeezing his hand hard. "I would have slept in the pouring rain next to a mucking stall if it meant you would eventually be there. Kaleb, there's so much I have to tell you..."

"It's okay, Ama. I'm in the same boat too."

Ulfgar smiled at both of them then offered each a stein of mead. "Yer two outliers if I ever saw 'em. These are on the house. Now tell your good friend Ulf what happened, lad."

Amalthia looked at him and was curious as well. "At the risk of sounding like a drunken parrot, what did happen?"

Kaleb lowered his head as he stared into his mug. "My parents found out about our relationship - no thanks to my backstabbing little twit-of-a sister. Anyway, I got into a heated argument with my folks and wound up getting kicked outta the house."

"Oh no!" Amalthia said as she tried to console him.

"That's terrible news, lad." Ulfgar shook his head.

"So now, I have no place to go."

"Lad. You'll always have a place here when things get tough. So long as you can earn yer keep, there's a room upstairs waitin' for ya. Both of ya, in fact"

"Ulfgar, that is too kind of you. Thank you!" She said as she reached over to give the old norn a hug.

"It's never a problem helping friends. Your sire and I go way back and the least I could do is help his only cub. Besides, I would very much like to get to know you better as you won over one of the best humans I've ever had the honor of serving drinks to."

"Thank you, Ulf. It means a lot. Kaleb - I wanted to tell you that my sire, um... father holds no ill feelings towards you. What he did was just an act to convince mother we were no good to her anymore. From now on, she should no longer pose a threat to you or anyone. For all intents and purposes, she's out of our lives for good," Amalthia explained.

"Thank you, Ulfgar." Kaleb, then, looked at Amalthia and said. "None taken. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in his paw pads. You are lucky to have a father who protects you the way he does."

Kaleb gazed into her amber eyes then kissed her on the forehead. Amalthia's ears twitched in gratitude.

"I'm assuming you are no longer working for your family anymore. If that's the case then how do you plan on making an income?" She asked.

A sudden flash of inspiration came into Kaleb's mind. "Amalthia. How about you and I go into the business of freelance bounty hunting together? We worked really well as a team before and with your skills and mine paired together, we could make a killing! Quite literally, I might add too."

She thought about it for a moment before smiling and nodding to him in agreement. "Funny thing. I was thinking along similar lines as well. But what shall we call our little enterprise?"

Ulfgar chimed in. "Um. Outliers sounds like a fitting name if ya ask me."

Both Kaleb and Amalthia looked at each other and smiled widely.

"Outliers!"

"You are an inspiration, old friend!" Kaleb said as he clapped the norn on the shoulder.

Amalthia had a flash of insight of her own as well. "We need a theme to go with our brand. Hey! I could talk to Ariyana. She does all kinds of custom outfits. I think I could talk her into designing us some."

"Good call. But we are going to need a catchy logo of some sort. Oie! My brain is exhausted from all of the excitement," Kaleb said as he tried to think of some interesting concepts.

"There's been plenty of excitement for both of us, Kal. Ulf - I'm still employed by my sire so I've got plenty of coin if you need a down payment for rent," Amalthia said as she pulled a leather coin purse from her pocket.

"Thank you, lass. But you and Kaleb have to get your house in order first. I'll quote you a very fair price once the two of you get things squared. Now get some rest, both you pups. Tomorrow is a brighter day."

Ulfgar showed Kaleb and Amalthia the upstairs room that was available. Once they were settled into their new surroundings, the pair mutually decided that donning garments of any kind was far too burdensome. Thus, they stripped down until both were lying on the large bed, completely bereft of clothing.

Amalthia nestled her head against Kaleb's chest as she purred in contentment. "My lower horns aren't hurting you, are they?"

"Nah. You're fine, honey," he said as he began stroking her long, golden mane.

"I'm just glad to be here with you." Her voice became a soft purr as she pushed her muzzle into the crook of his neck.

Resting his hand between her larger upper horns and stroking her lovely mane, something dawned on him.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"This will be our first night in bed together. I sure hope you have some birth control," Kaleb said in a tongue-in-cheek tone.

"Oh shut your hole, you! We are birth control together. Besides, it's not like my plumbing works down there anyway," Amalthia said as Kaleb rolled on top of her.

"Crap! I forgot about that. I'm so sorry."

She just smiled then slid her raspy tongue down his mouth for a moment before withdrawing. "I'm not. Now stop talking and make love to me, you big not-so-hairy beast!"

That night two souls from two different worlds shared their love together, for the first time, under the same roof.

(All chapters have been posted to AO3. Chapter 23 is posted here.)

#gw2 fanfic #tyriaslibrary #the outliers #cw adult situations #kaleb and amalthia #human and charr #inter-species romance

[tired-imagination]

“Sucker For Pain” - Part 1

Here is the story of one of my MHA ocs, Bakugo Mizuki 

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: This ENTIRE story has heavy themes of rape, sex, depression, drug use, murder, PTSD, pedophelia, and suicide. It is not for the faint of heart. 

Read at your own risk. 

(I have a discord server! Link: https://discord.gg/XvJyBnZ )

Atsuhiro stared at the woman on the bed that he had come to love, her body still. Her breaths ghosted on the oxygen mask, her eyes closed as if she was sleeping. He ran his thumbs over her knuckles, fighting back tears. 

“Mizuki, wake up. I need you.” 

~19 years earlier~ 

“Please, you need to take her.” Mitsuki held the small girl in her arms to the old woman, her eyes red from tears. “She’s three, she isn’t hard to take care of, please. I’m only 20 years old, I can’t take care of her anymore.” 

The young girl clung to her mother’s arms, screaming as the old woman attempted to take her away. Mitsuki kissed her daughter’s forehead, smiling at her. 

“One day, I will see you again. One day, sweet darling, I will see you again.” 

As Mitsuki walked away, the little girl held the older lady close, tears soaking the shirt decorated with small flowers that the old lady wore. The old woman simply pet the hair of the little girl, humming a soft lullaby until the baby fell asleep. The old woman brought the child to her home, laying her in an old wooden crib, sitting at the rocking chair and knitting until she drifted off to sleep as well. 

The little girl, Mizuki, and the old woman stayed together, the old woman teaching Mizuki how to bake and how to sew and clean. By the time the girl was 5, the girl had already been taught how to take care of herself in a world that favoured power over a home life, Mizuki was a smiling, happy little girl. The old woman never let her forget who her mother was, and would always tell the little girl updates on how her mother was doing, never letting Mizuki forget the promise that one day, her mother would come back for her. 

“My, Mizuki, it’s your fifth birthday already! How the years have flown by. When you were left  with me, I never would have guessed that you would look so alike at only 5 years old. How much you look like her. Who would have thought that you would be so strong and so confident, you’re so much like your mother.” The old woman bent down, gently scratching the head of the young girl’s unruly blonde hair. 

“Gamma, why don’t I have my quirk yet? Wasn’t I supposed to get it by now? The doctors said I have one because of my bones, but I don’t know what it is!” Mizuki pulled at her bangs, a small growl leaving her throat as she kicked her legs around. 

“Some children get their quirk later, Mizuki. It’ll come, it’ll come. It’s like baking a cake, love. You just need to wait, and everything will be perfect. I promise.” The woman kissed the head of the little girl, mixing the cake ingredients together in the bowl. 

“What was your quirk, Gamma?”

“I could control light, intensify and make it weaker.” “Intensify?” “I could make the light I controlled stronger! Not by much, however. My husband had a similar quirk, and so did our daughter. I haven’t seen her in quite a while, though. She ran away from home in her teens. That’s alright, I have you now, and you are just as much my child as she is.” “Okay.” Mizuki and the old woman continued their day, baking cake together and enjoying the small child’s 5th birthday. There were no presents, but only one thing that Mizuki had wanted. The old woman played with the little girl, baked with her, and made sure she had the perfect birthday. 

At around 10 p.m., far past the regular bedtime for the little girl, the old woman followed the small child and allowed her to tuck herself in. The lady picked up a book, one of Mizuki’s favourites, sitting on her rocking chair. 

“Gamma, why isn’t my mommy coming back?” Mizuki hugged her torn up teddy bear, the only present she had received from her mother that she hadn’t destroyed in a fit of anger. She buried her face in the worn down fur, fighting back the tears that had been needing to come out for the last 2 years. 

“She will come back soon, my child. She promised that she would come back, didn’t she? She will be back for you, she will come back for you, I promise. She promised.” “Okay, Gamma.  I believe you. I just want her to come back soon, okay? I want my mommy back.” The girl put her bear down, lifting her arms up for the woman to hug her. “I want a goodnight hug, if I can’t have my mommy. And maybe kisses too!”

“Alright, young one. You may get your hug.” The old woman wrapped her arms around Mizuki. Mizuki’s arms wrapped around Gamma’s neck, her fingers barely coming into contact with Gamma’s skin. 

The tiniest of gasps. 

The light left her eyes. 

“Gamma? Gamma? Gamma what’s wrong? Did you fall asleep? Gamma wake up, you didn’t read me a bedtime story yet, you didn’t even kiss me goodnight! Gamma!” The young girl started screaming, tears streaming down her face as if a hurricane was coming from her eyes. She stood up, running down the stairs and out of the door as fast as she could, screaming out to the cold night. “Help me! Help me! My Gamma isn’t breathing, my Gamma isn’t waking up!” She remembered the police sirens. 

Then the adults with mean faces all around her, bringing her from one room to the next. Bright lights, strange faces, the words “monster” and “freak” all around her. 

You were so innocent back then. You didn’t even know they were talking about you. 

A man surrounded by flames approached her, his face mean. He looked like a big teddy bear to her, so big and cuddly. Without his mean face, she would have crawled up to him and hugged him, crying for him to help her. A doctor came up to her, ripping her sleeve open, grabbing her hand. 

He dropped to the ground, the same look in his eyes as her Gamma. 

That was the dead they were talking about, stupid bitch. 

“Someone needs to take her in. We can’t touch her. Endeavour, you could kill her, right here and right now.” “I won’t. It’s  a little kid.” Teddy bear man crossed his arms, looking down at me. “Give it to someone else. My job here is done. I am not harming a child. I don’t know why you needed to call me to deal with something as irrelevant as a simple child.”

The child went through 4 families in the next 4 years. One family lasted 2 years. One, barely a month. One lasted 8 months before the child killed the family dog in an accident, and they kicked her out. The last family kept it for a year before the child ran from them, choosing to live on the street. Every family would force it to sleep outdoors, would feed it the scraps, and treat it as the words said on the child’s birthday. 

Freak. 

Monster. 

Murderer. 

Curse. 

It was 9 years old, had discovered what it's’ quirk was and how to use it. It was able to give living things pain, to varying degrees. Some pain could kill, as what had happened with Gamma and the dog. Other pain could simply incapacitate. It kept it safe, it kept it alive, but at the cost of the lives of animals and people alike. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore, except that promise. 

It learned how to live on the street, how to clean the alley rats for food. It had been sick many times, and it had come close to dying far more often. Some days, the child wished for Death to come and take them away. Most days, however, it would look for the mother that abandoned it to this life. 

More sirens, more restraints, more bright lights and more men and women in suits, tying its hands behind its back and placing strange gloves, ones that wouldn’t allow it to use that cursed quirk, on its hands. 

“Where are you taking me? Let me go!” The child screamed, kicking at the men that held it off of the ground. 

“Darling Mizuki. You’re a hard one to catch, aren’t you?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“We put you with so many different families but you could never stay for long, eh? Always needing to kill something? I bet you’re just thirsting to kill us now, aren’t you?” “That’s enough, Goldeneye. Don’t hurt the kid. She’s probably terrified right about now.” 

“What can I say, Ironclad? You know I can’t help myself from roughing up murderers.” The kid was brought to the man in the car, who was called Ironclad. He was an older man, seeming to be in his 40’s, with silver armour around his body. Most likely a Pro. The kid didn’t care, didn’t see why the man being a Pro Hero was important. All it cared about was getting out. 

“Let me the FUCK go you dickheads!” It screamed, kicking once again before being hit in the back of the head by the other man, who had been called Goldeneye. Goldeneye was in a suit, with some strange machine on his eye. The child, the thing, wasn’t able to find a weakness for either of the men holding it. 

“Sweet child.” Ironclad stood up, sauntering over to the three. “Goldeneye, I paid for this thing. I paid for it completely undamaged. I don’t want the goods to be destroyed, especially with how much money we could make from selling it.” “Selling her? Sir, you can’t mean-” 

“Shut it, newbie. Do what you’re told. Before I make you find another agency to work with that won’t pay as well as mine does. Got it, kid?” The person who spoke, his voice was cracking, and gentle. Sounded like a child, not like a hero. The person who spoke bent down to its level, hugging it tightly. “Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise. My name is Shirogane Gin. I won’t hurt you, I promise.” His smile was kind, genuine, sweet. He didn’t seem to be lying. 

“Listen, I don’t know who you dipshits are, but if you’re going to kill me, just do it, okay? I don’t want to be alive anymore. I don’t want to keep eating rats and bugs just so I can make it to tomorrow.” 

For the first time in 4 years, it began to cry. 

“Please, just kill me, or I will fucking do it myself!” “Coin Toss, Goldeneye, let go of it.” Ironclad went up to the crying thing in front of him, bending down so their eyes were on the same level. He lifted up the child’s shirt, looking at it’s bare chest. “There isn’t enough here to make something from it, but if we feed it more food, we should have enough to make a profit.”

Coward. 

“Sir, she’s a little girl, she’s only nine years old. We can’t do this! We shouldn’t make her a sex toy!”

Goldeneye shot something at Gin’s face, causing him to collapse onto the ground. He threw Gin into the back of the car they were in, going back to the child. He let out a small chuckle as he saw Ironclad grabbing at the child’s chest. 

“Is he going to be okay?” “Coin Toss will be fine, kid. Don’t worry about it.” Goldeneye picked it up, carrying her to the back of the car. 

There was a noose right there, coward! If you ran for it, then maybe… 

Goldeneye threw the child into the car, it losing consciousness as its head hit the cold metal.

#bakugo #bnha #bnha oc #mha oc #oc #mr compress #my hero academia #my hero academia fanfiction #boku no hero academia

[commander-rahrah]

Residency (an Open Heart Fic): PART ONE

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan 

Masterlist

Chapter Rating: T (Swearing)

Word Count: 3000+

Description: Jordynne’s last night in Oregon, leading up to her move to Boston, her apartment/Harry Potter room and the beginning of her first day at Edenbrook in Ethan’s point of view. 

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details. 

Author’s Note: I’ve never posted a Choices Fanfic before! I write fanfiction for other things (Mass Effect & Dragon Age if you are into that), but I just really really couldn’t get Ethan and my MC’s relationship out of my head. But I’m also super torn between him and Bryce. So I came up with a little scene in my head and just started writing. For my writing style, I do like to often put pieces of scenes from in-game/in-app to help the reader figure out where in the storyline we are.  Okayyyyyyy here we go! 

PART ONE:

Jordynne ducked into the black awning covering the entrance to the restaurant, shaking out her umbrella. It was pouring out — of course, it was. It was her last night in Portland — the rainy city had to leave a final impression on her.

Biting her lip, she opened up the door and headed inside. The hostess greeted her right away, and before she could tell her she was there for a reservation she heard a chorus of people screaming her name.

“Jordynne!!!”

“Ha, I guess that’s them.” She smiled through the embarrassing moment, her cheeks turning red.

She made her way to the private room at the back of the trendy restaurant. There was a big black booth, metal bar stools and string lights everywhere. And a giant homemade banner on the back wall reading, “GOOD LUCK DOC”.

A massive smile spread across her face as she read it, and looked down at all of her family and friends sitting at the tables.

“Awe baby! You’re here!!” Jordynne watched as her mother jumped out of her seat, and ran over to her with her arms spread wide.

“Hi, mom.” She said, letting her wrap her in a big hug.

Her dad came up next to them, grabbing Jordynne by the shoulder and pulling her into him side. “Hey, kiddo.” He had a sad smile on his face.

She could hear right through the gruffness in his voice, “Dad don’t! It’s too early to be sad.” She punched him softly on the arm.

He let out a warm chuckle, pretending to rub at his arm in pain. “Ha, okay okay.”

Her parents led her towards the rest of the group, who were all beaming at Jordynne.

Her pink mouth dropped open, “Oh my god, there are so many people here! Guys, thank you so much for coming!” She let out a little squeal as she hugged her aunts and cousins, college friends and neighbors. She couldn’t believe they all came out to see her off.

“Wait, where’s Jason?” She said, her smile faltering a little when she realized her older brother still wasn’t there.

“He’s on his way. His shift ran late.” Her best friend Carter spoke up, grabbing her wrist and pulling her into a hug.

“Ugh, please don’t remind me that my best friend knows more about my brother than I do…”

“Oh, he knows way more about him...” Her other best friend Kenzie interjected.

Jordynne pulled back as if she was going to slap her, “Kenzie, I swear to god!”

She flashed her a shit-eating grin. “Ugh, I’m going to miss this.”

She chewed on her lip again, “Yeah, me too.” She could feel tears starting to come to her eyes, so she started waving her hands in front of her face. “It’s too soon to start crying!! I just got here.” She forced a laugh.

“Someone’s making my little sister cry?! Who’s ass do I gotta kick now?” A booming voice came from the back. Jason strolled up, still wearing his police uniform. A giant grin spread on his face when he saw Jordynne. “There you are.” He picked her up into a giant teddy bear hug — her feet left the ground.

“Really dressed up for me, hey.” Her voice was strained from being squeezed so hard.

“Hey, I came straight from the station. Didn’t want to miss a second more.” He raised up his hands to her, in silent apology. Immediately after he put on a goofy smile.

Everyone finally settled down at the table together — drinks were ordered and family-style platters shared amongst each other. Stories of Jordynne were exchanged — her childish antics with Jason, when she backed her dad’s Corolla into the basketball hoop, the day she got accepted into medical school. Even though she had insisted there be no gifts, her friends and family still gave her presents. Her Aunties gave her bags of her favorite coffee grounds and a travel mug — for all of her early mornings at the hospital. A scrapbook from Kenzie and Carter, filled with pictures from high school and college. Her parents gave her a crisp, white lab coat with her name embroidered and Jason gave her a brand new stethoscope. By the end of the night, Jordynne’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears.

Everyone lingered as the night wrapped up, coming over to give her their well wishes and goodbyes. Her aunts wrapped her up in tight hugs, her cousins took selfies with her, her neighbors gave her a firm handshake and good luck wishes. Kenzie and Carter grabbed her from both sides in a tight group hug, before doing their trademark pinkie promise handshake. They were all laughing with tears in their eyes. Jason gave her a big bear hug again, chewing the inside of his lip as he saw her tears.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do Smartie.” He gave her a sad smile, holding onto her hand still.

“Whatever Worm.” She rolled her eyes at him but squeezed his hand back. 

“Now, go get Carter.”

He flashed her a row of white teeth, before finding Carter and intertwining their fingers together. He gave him a soft kiss, before starting to drag him out of the doors with the rest of the group.

Finally, Jordynne turned to see her parents standing in front of her — their faces red with tears. They rushed her into a hug, their heads pushing together. “Thank you so much.” She said, her voice muffled through her mom’s hair. “For everything. I don’t know how to ever repay you.”

Her dad’s laugh shook the group. “You don’t owe us anything Kiddo.”

Jordynne looked at her mom’s face, her green eyes shining. “You can go out there, and be the best damn Doctor you can be.”

She nodded vigorously at them, “Okay.” She said, letting out a breathy laugh.

_______________________________________________________________________

Staring out through the small oval window, Jordynne absent-mindedly ran her fingers on the edges of the textbook in front of her. She had brought it with her on the plane, intending to catch up on her studying. But as soon as she sat down in her seat, her mind started vibrating and stomach fluttering nervously. She was doing, she was actually doing it — moving across the country to complete her residency at Edenbrook.  

She hadn’t packed that much — clothes, toiletries, some photos, and books. Her suitcase and carry on were enough. Jordynne had wanted Boston to be different, and not having her college dorm room’s decor with her was a part of that. Boxing up the rest of her stuff and putting it in storage in her parent’s basement was cathartic. Either way, the small room she had found for rent near the hospital did not have the space available for a lot of decor.

Letting out a sigh, she tried to refocus on the textbook in front of her. Only four more hours until she landed in Boston. Only four more hours until her new life would actually begin.

_______________________________________________

Anxiously staring into the mirror, Jordynne fixed her blonde ponytail for the fourth time that morning. She stared into the small cracked mirror in the house’s shared bathroom, before straightening up. Licking her pink lips, she studied herself. Her long wavy blonde hair was pulled up into a sleek high ponytail, her tan skin dewy from a bit of foundation and highlighter. Her green eyes seemed a bit brighter with her new contacts. Smoothing down her blue scrubs, she attempted a smile in the mirror but was interrupted by a loud knocking. “Hey, are you done yet?!” A hoarse voice shouted at her through the door.

“Sorry!” Jordynne grabbed onto her toiletry bag and turned the knob to the door. “All done!” As she went to wave one of the roommates through, they shoved into her and closed the door. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a calming breath before heading back downstairs to her room.

It wasn’t really a bedroom. Maybe a cold storage room. It was the space underneath the stairs leading into the frigid basement — there was no ceiling in the room, and the floor was concrete. Definitely no windows. But it was so cheap and close to the hospital, Jordynne wouldn’t dare complain. The delivery guy from the furniture store raised an eyebrow when he brought in her mattress and bed frame for her, but she was going to make the best of it.

Swapping out the toiletries in her hand for her grey messenger bag, Jordynne slung it over her shoulder and bounded back up the stairs. Fumbling with the cord of her headphones, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through her playlist — trying to find the perfect song to walk to.

She had already practiced walking to work a few times— confirming what the best time to leave was, any short cuts or good coffees places to stop by. She wasn’t usually that anal — she was just nervous. Giving up on finding a song, she pressed shuffle and flipped over to her messages. She had unread texts from her family and friends, sending “I love you” and “good luck” messages. Jordynne smiled as she read them, replying back quickly before putting her head back up.

She could see Edenbrook from here — the large glass windows shining in the morning sun. Jordynne felt her stomach flip, as she crossed the street and stood outside of its main entrance. Wrapping her headphones back up, she turned her phone to “do not disturb” and tucked them into her bag. Gripping onto the strap crossing over her chest, she took a deep breath before marching into the building.

_______________________________________________

Tipping the final drops of his coffee into his mouth, Ethan Ramsey placed his travel mug on his desk with a sigh. He still had another thirty minutes until the orientation started. Interns.

He liked it in his office. He spent more time in the 200 square foot room then he did in his two bedroom apartment. It was simple — his desk was nothing fancy, some comfortable chairs for patients or residents to sit in during meetings. A deep leather sofa sat in the corner — his bed on most nights.

Checking his pager, Ethan turned off the lights in his office before locking the door and heading down the hall. A few nurses giggled as he walked by, and he gritted his teeth as he heard them.

He enjoyed walking the hospital, weaving past the entrance to observe waiting patients. He liked to challenge himself, try and diagnose patients without speaking to them first. Poking his head around the corner, he took stock of the dozen people sitting patiently in their chairs.

Nurse Roberts waved to him from the front desk — one of the few people he could tolerate. She had been sitting there on his first day, and he didn’t expect she would be going anywhere else anytime soon. A couple other nurses stood near a supply closet, whispering to each other quietly.

But his blue eyes flickered over to a pair of scrubs — a blonde woman he had never seen before was waltzing through the waiting room, her mouth open as she gazed around her. An intern? He thought to himself, curiously watching her.

She was pretty, he wouldn’t deny that. Her tan skin glowed compared to her scrubs, and she had her hair pulled up into a long, wavy ponytail. She reminded him of someone from the cover of one of the magazines in the waiting room — high cheekbones, full pink lips, long lashes. He crinkled his mouth in surprise. It wasn’t that doctors weren’t allowed to be attractive, it’s was just the fact that Ethan found himself thinking about one was.  

An audible gasp caused his ears to perk up. Blinking himself back to reality, his eyes darted around the waiting room, watching as a woman slumped in her seat before hitting the tiled floor.

Instincts kicking in, Ramsey started rushing over to the woman opening his mouth to speak. Two voices in union echoed in the room,  “Everybody, step back! I’m a doctor!”

Ignoring the other voice, he dropped down to his knees next to the patient. Taking two trained fingers, he placed them on her neck searching for a pulse. He barely felt it on his fingertips.

“Pulse is weak. She’s unresponsive.” He muttered to himself, before looking around for a staff member. Spotting the blonde in the scrubs, he nodded towards her — beckoning her over. “You. Rookie. Get in here.”

He didn’t wait to see if she was coming, instead he tucked his arms underneath the woman and lifted her up with ease. A nurse appeared with a stretcher, and he placed her on it gently. The blonde woman was steadying it for him, her eyes focused.

Noticing the nurse who suddenly appeared at his side, the doctor spoke to him, “Mahiri, what was she coming in for? Did she fill out a form yet?”

“No, she’d just walked in.” The nurse said, his eyes wide as he looked down at the patient.

Ramsey let out an agitated breath. “If we don’t figure out what’s wrong with her fast, she’s gonna die on this table.” Licking his lips, he started observing the patient as he instructed the intern. “Rookie, check her B.P.”

The nurse handed a blood pressure cuff to her, who quickly wrapped it around the woman’s arm, pumping the bulb and peering at the numbers. “It’s plummeting. She’s hypotensive. We’ve gotta get fluids in her.”

Another nurse wheeled over an IV rack, quickly hooking her in with ease. As he moved her arm, Ramsey noticed a large bruise forming on her elbow. The woman stirred at the sensation, and he watched as the blonde grabbed onto her hand instinctually. The patient weakly gripped the intern’s hand, her fingertips slowly turning blue.

Ethan waited — seeing if she would notice.

He watched as her green eyes widened. “Doctor, look at this bruise. It wasn’t here a moment ago.”

Observant. Good. He thought to himself, test number two now. “You’re sure?”

She didn’t miss a beat. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Confident. He liked that. “That’s the elbow she landed on when she fell. A bruise forming that fast would suggest that this woman is a hemophiliac. Good catch.” He nodded at her approvingly, “Also, see her fingertips? Low oxygen saturation in her blood. Take a closer listen to her lungs. Hurry.” He wanted to show her, to teach her more. But the last thing he needed was a waiting room full of people to watch a woman die at 7:00 in the morning.

Handing her the stethoscope from around his neck, he watched as she slipped it in her ears before placing the resonator onto the woman’s side. “I can’t hear anything on the left side! And her right lung is struggling! Doctor, she’s going to suffocate!”

He noticed the inflection in her voice — she was starting panic now. Remaining calm, his eyes narrowed in on the patient, his pupils flickering as he analyzed her. “Nurse, we’ve got a code blue.”

The nurse shifted quickly, grabbing a bag-mask from his cart and passing it to him.

“What do we do, Doctor? What’s happening to her?” The blonde woman asked as she watched, her hands awkwardly in front of her — waiting to be told what to do.

He gently started pumping air into the woman’s lungs, speaking to the intern as he did so. “Consider all the clues. It’s all there. You know this, Rookie.”

“It’s… It’s…” He watched her close her eyes, her eyelids flickering as she thought.

Come on, get there faster. Don’t make me do it. Ramsey thought to himself.

“It’s a hemothorax!” She blurted out.

A small smile flickered on Ethan’s face as she solved it. “Precisely. A blood vessel ruptured and is filling her pleural cavity…”

She interrupted him, “Blocking her lungs from expanding! That’s why she can’t breathe!” She hesitated, “But we can’t repair the blood vessel here…”

“We’ll have to do an emergency thoracotomy to drain the cavity instead. Nurse!” He called out.

Again, the nurse was immediately at his side. He offered the scalpel and chest tube to Ramsey, but he waved him off — getting him to offer it to the intern. Wrapping her fingers around the scalpel, she gulped as Ethan lifted up the patient’s shirt to expose her rib cage. He attempted to multitask but gestured to the nurse to take over pumping air into the patient with the mask bag.

“Don’t we need a local anesthetic…” Her eyebrows furrowed.

“We’re outta time! Do it now, or this woman’s life is on you!” He said sternly.

The scalpel inching closer, he listened as she started whispering to herself. “Incision at the fifth intercostal space… anterior… to the mid-axillary line…”.

She was smart. Methodical. Ethan had to give her that.

Her hand started to tremble just before contact with the skin, and Ramsey felt himself reach out to her instinctually. He steadied her hand with his, a jolt of electricity waving over him at their touch.

His turned his voice gentle, his blue eyes meeting hers. “Hey… You can do this.”

A new found resolve settled over her, and her hand almost instantly stopped shaking.

“There you go. Nice and easy.” He nodded approvingly as she made the incision.

Their hands remained together as they gently pushed the breathing tube through the incision — a spurt of blood hitting the intern’s scrubs as the fluid began to drain out of the woman’s chest. A ragged breath gasped from her, as she started to breathe again.

The blonde’s mouth opened in shock, “We… we did it!”

Gesturing over to the nurses on standby, Ethan spoke to them. “She’s stable. Get her into surgery… She’s gonna make it.”

A burst of applause from the onlookers in the waiting room, made him snap back to reality. He turned to watch the intern, who was carefully wiping her forehead being careful not to get any more blood on her. Her eyes seemed brighter after all of that — he assumed adrenaline was pumping through her.

She caught him staring, and she broke out into a smile revealing a line of perfectly white teeth. “Doctor… that was… absolutely amazing!”

Remembering where he was, he dropped the emotion from his face. “You’re right. It’s pretty amazing you didn’t get her killed.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, her pink mouth hanging open, “Wait, what?”

Ethan kept his voice monotone, “Your examination was slow and superficial. Your scalpel technique, amateur at best…”

“Amateur? Maybe you can give me private lessons then.” Jordynne retorted, raising an eyebrow.

He couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face, “Ha! I just might, Doctor…” He reached across, grabbing the ID card off hanging off of her pocket. “Holland. But I sincerely doubt you could afford my salary.” He gave her a devilish smirk, before tossing back the plastic card. He turned on his heel, stalking off without a background glance.

Holland. So that’s the Rookie he had handpicked. He had to admit she was as good as her application — maybe better. He had to reprimand her — she shouldn’t get too confident, too cocky — it would ruin her career before it even started. But she was good — quick, steady hands, sharp mind. And those eyes — but he cut his thoughts off as they approached her appearance. He was not going down that road.

Ramsey used his back to open the door into a nearby OR, finding a sink to wash his hands in. He had remained spotless throughout the emergency — it took years of practice, but it was now his talent to keep his white coat pristine throughout the day. He thought to the Rookie’s blood covered scrubs and let out a chuckle.  He’d have to keep an eye on that one — she was gonna be special.

Part Two

#choices #choices: stories you play #playchoices #pixelberry choices #choices open heart #choices oh #choices fanfiction #choices fanfic #open heart fanfiction #open heart fanfic #ethan ramsey #dr ethan ramsey #dr ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #mc x ethan #mc x ethan ramsey #mc x bryce lahella #mc x bryce x ethan #bryce lahela X mc #bryce lahela #bryce x mc #mc x bryce #mc x bryce lahela

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hearts for sale

In another time, Otabek was an angry boy, his gaze piercing and his words scathing.

In another time, Otabek wore his heart on his sleeve, his skates leaving deep cuts on thin ice.

In another time, Otabek was fire on ice, impassioned, impatient and infectious.

Then came a time when Otabek ceased to be all those.

This is how it happens.

 ❄ 

They had placed his mother on a table and stuck a needle near her heart. She screamed and screamed until she could scream no more. Bright yellow fluid containing years and years of tears, laughter and tempered emotion; was sealed in a bottle and taken away. After the procedure, they received bundles of cash in a black, bloodstained briefcase. The money had been enough to keep them alive for six months.

The first month after was the worst. His mother never spoke, never left her room, never played with them, never helped with homework. And just as well, his father said; he was very afraid of her white, lifeless eyes.

They thought she was as good as dead.

Little by little, though, she got better. She tried her best, but it wasn't enough.

And soon, the money, too, was not enough.

 ❄

 Otabek comes home to a small apartment with thin walls and a leaking ceiling. He does not like the way his father is shouting tonight; it's getting worse day by day. His sister is crying in the corner; his brother has not come home since yesterday.

So he keeps to himself in his room. In the drawer are his three medals, one won from a competition and two "consolation" prizes. The stuffed teddy bear from his sister is on his bed; he has taken to hugging it tightly while he sleeps, a blanket and two pillows blocking out the noise from downstairs.

Oh, careful not to drop the skates - the right boot could fall apart.

He sets himself down beside the bed with a thud. He is tired, tired, tired. He knows better than to say so, however, lest he gets yet another bruise on his thigh. His coach - oh, poor Miss Anna - bears the brunt of all his frustrations, as do his worn skates. Someone said he needs anger management - they do not understand him, what he is going through.

His father's voice keeps getting louder and louder - no food, no tuition, no money. And somewhere in his long, angry tirade, Otabek hears his name.

His mother does not answer back, still a far cry from what she used to be. Give it a few months, the doctor had told them. She'll be back to normal soon.

But not in time, he added. They can't operate on her again until after another six months.

And they badly need the money.

His father calls his mother a useless bitch.

So Otabek steps in and rams his father into the wall, hard enough to render him unconscious. He takes the operation form from his mother's trembling hands and walks away despite her tears and weak protests.

 ❄

 Psychocentesis

– the medical procedure of evacuating arduous humor, a compartment of the cardiovascular system that is said to contain human emotions.

Indications:

(Psychiatric) Therapeutic evacuation of arduous humor in cases of massive effusion, manifesting as extremely heightened emotion approaching manic levels

(Medical) Pleural congestion, general fluid overload or non-diuresis, manifesting as increased intracranial pressure, edema of internal organs and extremities

Relative Contraindications:

Uncorrected bleeding diathesis

Cellulitis at site of puncture

Complications:

Loss of emotion, flattened affect

Altered sensorium

Pneumothorax and/or hemothorax

Major vessel rupture and massive blood loss

Technique:

Ultrasonography is performed to confirm the location of the effusion. Standard aseptic technique is performed, and the patient is prepared for the procedure. Local anesthesia is infiltrated around the puncture site, and a large-bore needle is used to puncture the site at a depth of 3 cm. Gentle aspiration of the desired volume of arduous humor is done, and the needle is removed. Standard wound care is then rendered.

The fluid is collected in a sterile bottle and stored at 5°C, or sent to the laboratory for analysis.

  The medical encyclopedia does not say anything about the illegal arduous humor trade.

There are relatively few known cases of successful arduous humor transfusion worldwide. It is said that the risks outweigh the benefits by a huge margin, and has fallen out of practice since. Those who need the transfusion instead turn to the black market, which has soon grown into an industry of exploitation for the less fortunate.

Clearly, Otabek knows what he is getting into.

He knows for a fact that this shady clinic located in an even shadier back-alley is not to be trusted. He knows that he is endangering his life and his career, subjecting himself to a dangerous, unnecessary procedure without compelling reason. He knows he is being reckless and stupid, as he is placed under sterile drapes and he is slowly put under, under, under.

He also knows how much money they are paying him after this.

It's the only way.

 ❄

 The first month after is the hardest. Otabek is confined to his room, unable - no, unwilling to move from his bed. His mother tries - and fails - to get him to eat. She had sobbed for days when he came home with white eyes, hurt, limping and practically lifeless.

The second month, he is able to walk, and the first place he visits is the rink. The others shower him with hugs, yet he doesn't feel a thing. Miss Anna tries to probe him, ask him what happened, why he didn't ask for help. But he cannot summon the strength to speak.

Skating proves to be more difficult than he’d thought he remembered. He wills himself to jump - and he does, but the fire in his eyes is gone. The rage in his heart has been silenced, and he has no story to tell. And a skater with no story to tell is no skater at all.

Later, Otabek bangs his fist into his locker - or he thinks he does. What really happens is that a piece of a skater slumps against the cold, metal door, thinking he can be better - he should be better. His small hiccups do not make tears, and he is left even more frustrated than before.

He knows - he knows what he got into.

But he cannot bear it anymore.

 ❄

 Give yourself time, the doctor tells him. You'll be back to normal before you know it.

The words ring in Otabek's ears, loud and true and disturbing. The fourth month sees him no better than the second, but at least he is able to shop for groceries again. It'll be okay, his mother says, with tears in her eyes and salt in her lips. I love you, son. No matter what.

She really does understand him.

A single tear (finally) falls down his cheek.

"You're holding the line, Mister," he hears an annoyed drawl from behind. Otabek is momentarily brought back to his senses, and he quickly shuffles away with his two, large paper bags. As he turns away, he is met with bright, green eyes, flickering with impatience.

It sticks with him forever, and he is filled with purpose once more.

 ❄

 The Miracle Child, they call Yuri Plisetsky. Beyond his unadulterated skating genius and masterful storytelling on ice, he is known as the only survivor of the Emerald Tower Tragedy from six months ago, when some past miscalculation during its construction caused it to crumble years later, leaving its thousands of residents dead.

Images of Yuri confined to a wheelchair made major news websites, his eyes white and lifeless and dead. He disappeared from the limelight for a short two months, his coach Yakov Feltsman citing intensive training and therapy as the reason for his absence.

This leaves Otabek confused as to what the same Yuri is doing on his feet, in his rink, skating quite differently from how he used to. Miss Anna says the accident has sparked a fire of determination in his eyes, bringing his skating to new and glorious heights.

But all Otabek sees right now is pure, unadulterated rage. Passion. An inferno.

Himself.

 ❄

 Yuri is as secretive in real life as he is emotive on ice. But he does consider Otabek a friend, and friends tell each other things.

"I'm tired of the media hounding me at every turn," he whines. "Asking me what happened there, when they saw it happen for themselves."

"You don't have to answer them if you don't want to," Otabek assures him, because it's the only thing he can do. He wishes he could do more - hold him tight, stroke his hair, tell him... no, he can't. He mustn't.

"But that's not all," Yuri continues. "They've started... suspecting. How I quickly recovered. Why I'm in Almaty instead of in St. Petersburg. Where Yakov is."

Otabek has seen more than enough news articles. In the weeks he has known Yuri, he, too, has had his own suspicions, some leaning on the impossible.

"Some say I made a deal with the devil. They might as well be correct."

Otabek's breath hitches all of a sudden, and he realizes the truth all at once.

"The black m--"

"Don't say it!" Yuri cuts him off, clamping his thin hands over Otabek's lips. Green eyes meet gray ones, and they see anger, emptiness, loneliness -- themselves -- in each other. And Yuri finally realizes it, too.

"No... Otabek... Why..."

A deal with the devil, huh. Otabek never thought of it that way, but Yuri might as well be correct. Suddenly the clothes on his back and the shoes on his feet feel heavy all of a sudden, like he doesn't deserve them.

Perhaps the past six months were the price he paid.

It doesn't sound as bad anymore.

As long as it saved Yuri.

Yuri knows this, too. Otabek finds himself enveloped in a tight hug, Yuri's tears staining the front of his shirt. "I... don't know what to say... I-I can't believe..."

"Me, neither." And he means it in the gentlest of ways, for all the things they have gone through to lead to this moment has become a blessing for them both. "For what it's worth, it has led me to you."

Yuri puts their foreheads together, his warm breath a healing salve to Otabek's soul. “You’re not alone, Otabek,” he says. “You and I - we’re both the same. I’m glad we met.”

His smile is beautiful, Otabek thinks.

“Stay close to me,” Yuri asks. “You saved my life; I’ll help you find yours.”

So Otabek does.

#yuri!!! on ice #otayuri #otabek altin #yuri plisetsky #medical fiction

[draconicroyalty]

A Squad Isn’t a Squad Without a ChatRoom

My excuse for this is that I love chat room fanfics. Also, huge crossover and massive oc x canon.-

Fandoms: DMC, Bayonetta, Inuyasha

Genre: Crack, with a side of romance

Chapter One - Furries, Monster Fuckers and Dinner

                                     [BALDER created Group Chat]

[BALDER changed the name Group Chat to Fucking Insomnia]

[BALDER added SPARDA]

[BALDER added TOUGA]

[Balder added DANIYAL]

DANIYAL: who tf is creating group chats at 4am BALDER: me, dipshit, i can't sleep DANIYAL: well boo hoo, suck it up and bang your head against somethin BALDER: why are u so cranky DANIYAL: it's 4am and my first class tomorrow is maths do you really wanna ask me why tf i'm mad BALDER: fair enough BALDER: is sparda awake DANIYAL: nah DANIYAL: has been snoring for a good 5 hours BALDER: wait, he snores?? DANIYAL: ya BALDER: omg DANIYAL: what about dog boy BALDER: playing dating simulators DANIYAL: you're kidding BALDER: i wish i was DANIYAL: YO DOG BOY WTF TOUGA: TF U WANT DANIYAL: STOP TRYING TO GET INTO A BISHIE'S PANTS U WEEB, GO TO SLEEP FFS TOUGA: why are u awake BALDER: yeah nice question DANIYAL: um DANIYAL: studying? TOUGA: bullshit BALDER: bet you're playing lol again and mad cuz of the trolls DANIYAL: IT'S 4AM, TROLLS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, WHY DO I ONLY GET YASUOS IN MY TEAM BALDER: there there, baby, there there SPARDA: Dafuck is all this noise DANIYAL: u r awake??? SPARDA: yah, someone mutters what they type a bit too loud DANIYAL: srry bae SPARDA: np bby TOUGA: stop DANIYAL: why BALDER: you're reminding him he's single DANIYAL: that's cuz he's a furry SPARDA: LOOOOOL DANIYAL: before anyone asks spar actually laughed while typing that TOUGA: ASHFKDSKGHKSJAHL BALDER: touga, words. not keysmashes. TOUGA: IMF NSOT A FURRTY DANIYAL: what??? SPARDA: i think the poor furry is trying to type he ain't a furry

[DANIYAL changed the name Fucking Insomnia to FURRY CONFIRMED]

BALDER: lol BALDER: dan u r aware that he will try to kill you tomorrow DANIYAL: np i got a spray bottle TOUGA: KLHAFDSHGKGH FUCK U DANIYAL: MY PARTNERS DO THAT BALDER: sometimes i forget our boy's poly DANIYAL: i love all my boyfriends, girlfriends and significant others equally and if anyone hurts them i'll pull their guts out and eat them TOUGA: ew BALDER: scary SPARDA: i say him throwing a guy that was harassing one of his classmates into the trash once DANIYAL: i was practicing slam dunks and he looked like a basketball TOUGA: how does a guy look like a basketball DANIYAl: he was wearing orange and black BALDER: fair enough SPARDA: like this is fun but SPARDA: it's 4:22 am SPARDA: we should sleep TOUGA: alright mom BALDER: goodnight mom SPARDA: mom?? pretty sure i didn't conceive such ugly children DANIYAl: OH SNAP BALDER: SPARDA WE'RE LITERALLY TWINS?? SPARDA: LOOK AT ME, I'M THE PRETTY ONE BALDER: BEAUTY MARKS DON'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE U THE PRETTY ONE TOUGA: aaaand there they go DANIYAL: babe stop angrily typing SPARDA: he started BALDER: NO I DIDNT??? DANIYAL: i know babe i know BALDER: HE LITERALLY STARTED THIS??? TOUGA: give up bal it's better BALDER: jsfslghjhg im going to bed TOUGA: nighty night BALDER: stop playing dream daddy and go to sleep too TOUGA: make me DANIYAL: WAIT U PLAY DREAM DADDY??? TOUGA: YA DANIYAL: favorite dad? TOUGA: brian DANIYAL: ....your fave's the bear. u furry. TOUGA: shUT UP TOUGA: who's your fave?? DANIYAL: matt TOUGA: why am i not surprised DANIYAL: he's a cINNAMON ROLL AND I WILL PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE SPARDA: babe log off lol DANIYAL: but babe...the IP.... SPARDA: tomorrow, babe, tomorrow DANIYAL: fine...night, u furry TOUGA: aadlkfjsghAHJSGHSKJ NOT A FURRY BALDER: furry [BALDER is OFFLINE]

[SPARDA is OFFLINE]

[DANIYAL is OFFLINE]

TOUGA: fuck y'all [TOUGA is OFFLINE]

[DANIYAL is ONLINE]

[DANIYAL added EVA]

[DANIYAL added AMASIS]

[DANIYAL added MAALIK]

[DANIYAL added JUURAH]

[DANIYAL added NATHANIEL]

[DANIYAL added LUKAH]

EVA: baby! DANIYAL: babe! AMASIS: what tf is this DANIYAL: balder couldn't sleep and created a group chat DANIYAL: so since i liked the idea and was super supportive when he created it i thought about adding more people AMASIS: oh JUURAH: LMAO IS THE NAME OF THE GROUP CHAT ABOUT TOUGA DANIYAL: scroll up bro JUURAH: omg that furry MAALIK: why tf were you all awake at 4am DANIYAL: balder had insomnia, i was playing league, touga was seducing daddies and i woke up spar MAALIK: that game's not good for u, i'm tellin ya DANIYAL: too bad i don't give a fuck MAALIK: ow DANIYAL: where's my baby boy? NATHANIEL: for the last time i'm 2 MINUTES YOUNGER THAN U DANIYAL: baby boy <3 EVA: (*^_^*) thats cute DANIYAL: you're cute

[SPARDA is ONLINE]

SPARDA: you're both cute AMASIS: sparda is summoned as soon as eva and dan start being cute, wow SPARDA: you do it too AMASIS: not with eva AMASIS: no offense darling EVA: it's ok (*´∀`*) DANIYAL: so pure MAALIK: if we're talkin about being cute and stuff MAALIK: i have some baby dan pics DANIYAL: *softly* dont MAALIK: don't try to meme your way out of this LUKAH: give them to us EVA: Lukah, you're here! (*^.^*) LUKAH: ...pure maiden LUKAH: i mean hi love LUKAH: anyways SPARDA: pics now AMASIS: i demand pics DANIYAL: pls no [MAALIK sent chubbycheeks.png] EVA: AWWWWWWWWWWW JUURAH: omg is that his old bib??? that thing was so cute SPARDA: brb dying cuz of cute AMASIS: i'm saving that and nobody can stop me LUKAH: !!! LUKAH: baby freckles LUKAH: omg

[TOUGA is ONLINE]

TOUGA: i'm saving it as future blackmail potential DANIYAL: fuck u SPARDA: dog boy don't lie SPARDA: u also think he was cute af TOUGA: nah TOUGA: maybe a little TOUGA: ok look he has really chubby cheeks and he's hugging a dog plushie, I AM WEAK EVA: Daniyal never lost his cuteness over the years ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ DANIYAL: aghgihrhgrih that'snottrue SPARDA: oh he's blushing AMASIS: you're his roommate, pinch his cheeks for me LUKAH: and for me EVA: for me too!! ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ JUURAH: why do you like those emojis so much eva EVA: they're adorable DANIYAL: ow ow ow SPARDA MY CHEEKS SPARDA: they're so soft omg AMASIS: now kiss them better SPARDA: done AMASIS: u know what i'm going there EVA: count me in! LUKAH: im on my way rn

[BALDER is ONLINE]

BALDER: y'all really love him don't you SPARDA: balder. brother. good friend of mine. he's literally a ray of sunshine that covers anything that's evil and putrid in this world AMASIS: he's the personification of a cool breeze in a warm summer day EVA: he's huggable like a teddy! LUKAH: ... LUKAH: thicc. LUKAH: jk, he's literally a mix of everything that's good and sweet DANIYAL: ASFJKGSHG STOP IM CRYING I LOVE U ALL SO MUCH TOUGA: SOME OF US ARE STILL SINGLE DANIYAL: that's cuz you're a furry TOUGA: stop DANIYAL: i saw your internet browser history bruh TOUGA: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A FURRY WAS DANIYAL: SO U RESEARCH IT ON TUMBLR 2 TIMES A DAY?? DANIYAL: yeah right bro TOUGA: im pulling out the receipts Dan DANIYAL: do not TOUGA: i may be a furry, but have you seen the amount of times you're in the terato tag?? TOUGA: u monster fucker

[Touga changed the name FURRY CONFIRMED to DAN WANTS MONSTER D]

DANIYAL: hOW DARE SPARDA: tbh, unsurprised AMASIS: like, he blushes when there's big creepy monsters in movies EVA: i heard him saying a monster lady could break him in half and he'd thank her LUKAH: ya dan's always been a monster fucker JUURAH: i can confirm that MAALIK: wait so all those trips to find big foot were due to Dan's horny ass NATHANIEL: nah that was me NATHANIEL: he's more of a loch ness monster guy DANIYAL: Nessie is a beautiful independent lady and also gay af so we're just besties MAALIK: i'm kinkshaming DANIYAL: u can't kinkshame if kinksame MAALIK: what DANIYAL: one word. actually, one cryptid DANIYAL: mothman MAALIK: ASDFGHJKL SHUT UP BALDER: honestly BALDER: i think being a furry is worse TOUGA: thanks for the damn support bro, wait til i kill you while u sleep SPARDA: did u just confirm you're a furry TOUGA: fUCK JUURAH: i always knew it NATHANIEL: i mean why would he nickname himself dog boy BALDER: lmao do u have a fursona touga?? TOUGA: fuck off TOUGA: why not tease Dan for being a monster fucker?? AMASIS: if u dated him you'd know he's into even kinkier stuff SPARDA: yah EVA: yah LUKAH: yah TOUGA: wait what DANIYAL: qwertyuiioponfds save m BALDER: what is going on over there AMASIS: we're drowning him in affection and i think he broke LUKAH: bara machine broke BALDER: tf's a bara TOUGA: urban dictionary says it's a person (usually male) with a large, somewhat muscular, and fairly hairy body type NATHANIEL: lol JUURAH: if there's something Dan ain't, it's hairy EVA: tru SPARDA: never caught him shaving tbh DANIYAL: i'll never reveal my secrets TOUGA: late bloomer DANIYAL: iM NOT DANIYAL: i simply dislike body hair on me TOUGA: what about other people DANIYAL: it's their body and they can do whatever they want and honestly?? cute. BALDER: why not apply that concept to yourself DANIYAL: never MAALIK: i know we are all having fun chatting and stuff MAALIK: but like MAALIK: it's almost dinner time MAALIK: so go get somethin to eat DANIYAL: but daaaad MAALIK: im not dad. dad is straight. NATHANIEL: lmao, right JUURAH: our family is so gay i sometimes forget that DANIYAL: mom's bi af tho JUURAH: i took after her DANIYAL: anyway if u don't mind im getting my lovely gfs and bfs something to eat AMASIS: we could eat u AMASIS: out DANIYAL: thank god u said out cuz if not i would kick u DANIYAL: this is a vore free chat SPARDA: vore is strictly banned TOUGA: kinkshamers BALDER: ... DANIYAL: touga wtf

[TOUGA is OFFLINE]

DANIYAL: ...

[DANIYAL changed the name DAN WANTS MONSTER D to TOUGA: CONFIRMED FURRY AND INTO VORE]

BALDER: tbh?? he deserves this EVA: what's vore LUKAH: such a pure innocent soul SPARDA: don't tell her DANIYAL: guys. eva's anything but a pure innocent soul. DANIYAL: at least when it comes to stuff LUKAH: ok, tru SPARDA: u woke the femdom monster in her DANIYAL: and you're grateful for that SPARDA: can't say i'm not AMASIS: can we go eat now DANIYAL: actual dinner or ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) BALDER: is your lenny face winking MAALIK: that is extremely concerning NATHANIEL: welp, people, im outtie JUURAH: same, wanna eat MAALIK: im escaping before this gets anymore sexual

[NATHANIEL is OFFLINE]

[JUURAH is OFFLINE]

[MAALIK is OFFLINE]

BALDER: im going to find touga and kinkshame him

[BALDER is OFFLINE]

AMASIS: so SPARDA: hm EVA: mcdonalds or subway? (´∀`) LUKAH: i'm in the mood for mcdonalds DANIYAL: yeah same SPARDA: can we watch a movie too?? since we're going to the mall AMASIS: sounds like fun DANIYAL: im paying LUKAH: no ur not wtf DANIYAL: I PAY

[DANIYAL is OFFLINE]

SPARDA: STOP HIM BEFORE HE GETS HIS WALLET

[SPARDA is OFFLINE]

[EVA is OFFLINE]

[LUKAH is OFFLINE]

[AMASIS is OFFLINE]

#my writing #dmc #bayonetta #inuyasha #my ocs #oc x canon #original writing #crack #ic!crack #A Squad Isn't a Squad Without a ChatRoom

[babyshawwn]

Act Like You Love Me - Part Three

Read part one here. Read part two here. 

January 11 th, 2026

"Hey honey." You said lovingly as Leah jumped out of the black jeep and started running towards the door to your apartment.

A smile spread on her tiny lips as you met her in a hug, afterwards picking her up from the ground to cling her to your chest. You kissed the top of her dark, curly hair and then you let your nose brush against hers.

"Mommy." She laughed childishly at you. "It's too tight." You couldn't help but join her little laughter.

"Sorry sweetheart." You said while putting her down again. "I've just missed you so much this weekend!"

Leah sent you a wide smile as response, pointing her fingertip to her lips wanting a kiss from you. You leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips as she asked you to and you finally felt the ache from missing her beginning to fade.

You weren't sure if you would ever get used to not having Leah with you every day. Though you knew Shawn took such good care of her, you missed her terribly much the second you had drop her off and all you ever did while she was at her dad's, was counting the days until she would come back to you.

It almost felt like a part of you was constantly missing. Either it was Leah or it was Shawn. The heartache from missing Leah luckily disappeared whenever she came home again, the heartache due to Shawn, you had to somehow get used to dealing with.

A few moments after you had greeted Leah, Shawn walked towards your front door as well, carrying a bag of Leah's things in his arms. You sent him a little but friendly smile while chewing on your bottom lip.

"Hey y/n."

"Hi Shawn." You stuttered, taking the bag in your hands and putting it down in the hallway.

"Her teddy is in there." Shawn said, his hands moving into the pocket of his jeans. "She left it behind last time and I know how she can't sleep without it."

"Thank you." You said politely, feeling your body quiver by his presence. Your palms felt sweaty and a little lump forced in your throat.

"Honey, go put the bag in your room." You told Leah and she did what you asked her to do.

It left Shawn and you behind in a moment of silence, both chewing on the tension hanging in the air, tasting the uncomfortableness between you on the tip of your tongues, before Shawn had gathered enough courage to say something.

"I wish you would change your mind." He blurred, his eyes flickering before finding your stare.

You watched his dark eyes widen, knowing the pain was growing in his chest by standing here and pouring his heart out. He tried to hide it, though. But he could never really hide his feelings from you.

"I'm not going to, Shawn."

"But why not?" He asked you, eyes firing towards your face. "We had a moment. A good moment, a fantastic one. We went back to normal, I-"

"Shawn, we shouldn't have slept together." You interrupted him before it all got too far. "It was a mistake. Deep down, you know that as well."

"It wasn't a mistake to me." He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. "I still love you."

Though you kept a good amount of space between you and Shawn, you could tell he was tearing up from the way his lips were trembling and how he didn't want to look at you. You heard him force a breath into his lungs while he blinked his eyes to prevent the tears from showing too well.

And to be honest, your heart had never felt heavier than it did right now. Seeing Shawn fighting to not break down right here on your doorstep was slowly but surely killing parts of you inside. And all you really could do was stand there and watch him fall apart, the man you loved with every bone in your body.

"I love you too, Shawn. Please don't doubt that. But it doesn't change the fact that our marriage isn't good anymore." You calmed him, tilting your head and sending him a smile. "But right now, we can't be selfish. We can put our feelings first. We need to focus on Leah. She's the most important."

Just because you were spilling from each other, you never wanted Shawn to think that you could ever just stop loving him or not care for him. He was your first love and the father of your child, he had been your rock since you were kids and he had been the one to guide you in life for so long. Those feelings still had meaning and no matter what happened from now on, you were never going to let those feelings for him go.

Your feelings for Shawn was a part of you, they always would be because they were too strong to act like they had never been there in the first place, even if that was the easiest thing to do.

"Leah would want us together." Shawn stuttered, struggling with his breath.

You tilted your head and sighed heavily at his words. A sharp pain grew in your chest and once again, the familiar sickness reached the surface of your stomach.

Sometimes you wished someone had warned you about love, told you that love could hurt like hell and that you didn't always get your happy ever after because finding out on your own likes this was wrecking parts of you, you never figured could even be broken.

You chewed into your bottom lip, your thumbs rubbing your plans nervously. You had no clue what to do with yourself nor with your body. The pain had left you numb.

"Are you really done?" Shawn asked you, honestly. There was no anger in his tone, no accusations. Just honesty. "Are you done with our life together? And... done with me?"

Shawn eyes locked with yours while he studied your face and your reaction to his question rather carefully. You could tell he wasn't sure whether or not he had crossed some kind of line by asking, but you figured he needed to know to find some kind of peace in his mind.

At first, you thought about lying to him. Just tell him what you figured he might need to hear, but you wouldn't forgive yourself if you ever did.

"I'll never be done with you." You admitted, swallowing the lump in your dry throat.

Tears formed in your sore eyes, but you refused allowing them to run down your heated and rather red cheeks. You were sick and tired of crying, sick and tired of feeling the pain whenever Shawn was near you.

"Then tell me why we're doing this?" Shawn asked you, not removing his stare from you. "I'm ready to fight for this."

"Because Shawn... You might say all these things right now, but you have been saying them for years and nothing changed. I lost myself loving you and that's not how it is supposed to be. Just because you say these things today doesn't mean you've changed. It doesn't just magically make me believe that your priories have changed." You told him firmly, your voice cracking over here and there. "Actions speak louder than words, but all you're giving me are empty words."

You hurried to wipe tears away from your heated cheeks while forcing a deep breath to calm yourself again. Shawn reached for your hand and though the smartest thing you have been to deny him contact, you couldn't help but allow him to touch you. He interlaced your fingers together while his thumb stroke your knuckles.

His familiar warmth spread and a heat went down your spine as you allowed yourself to get consumed in his tender touches.

"Baby... I just-" Shawn began, but then Leah came running back to us.

You shushed at Shawn and he nodded back at you, both in agreement to shut down the conversation. In a quick move, you pulled back your hand and within the matter of seconds, you craved Shawn's fingers around yours.

Both of you put on a fake smile and then you leaned down to pad the top of Leah's dark hair while Shawn sent her a smile.

"Did you unpack already?" You asked and she nodded back at you.

"Good girl." You told her. "Then you have to say goodbye to daddy."

"Can't daddy stay for dinner, mom?" Leah asked you, her little fingers reaching for yours. "We're having pancakes daddy, like you always made us when you came back. Mommy please, it's not the same without daddy."

Leah's words cut deep into your heart as a sharp pain rushed down your spine and you somehow forgot how to speak. You kept trying to convince yourself that Leah didn't suffer from this and that she barely noticed, but you knew she did and you knew it was hard for her as well.

She did notice Shawn was gone. She did notice mommy was always crying and daddy was always sad. She noticed much more than either of you thought.

Shawn's eyes found yours and after watching the suffering stare in your eyes, he felt like something died inside him. He couldn't bear watching you carry around this kind of pain, he never wanted you to have to. Your chest was hurting and your heart was almost pounding out of your chest while you struggled to breathe.

"come here, princess." Shawn called for Leah as he took her in his arms. "As much as I want to stay with you and mum, I can't today." He explained her, his fingers brushing her cheek.

"But why?" She pouted at him.

"Because daddy is going to the Grammys tonight, remember?" Shawn said, raising his eyebrow at her.

And then, a massive smile spread on Leah's face as she nodded excited when she remembered. You had talked to Leah about this several times. Also, you had never been so grateful for Shawn as you were in this moment.

You couldn't get yourself to ruin Leah's wish of having a family dinner like the old times but for the first time in a good while, Shawn took responsibility and you weren't left with all the hard things on your own.

You weren't the only one saying no anymore, he actually seemed to join in now. You didn't have to always be the mean or bad parent, at least not on your own.

"Daddy is going to be on tv." Leah giggled, clapping her tiny hands.

"Yes! And you're going to watch me, right?"

"Of course, daddy." She promised him. Shawn took Leah in his arms and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"So as much as I want to make pancakes for you and mommy, I have to get going now. Okay?"

"It's okay daddy." Leah told him, smiling from ear to ear as he put her down. "I can't wait to see you."

"I'll wave to you from the red carpet." Shawn said, winking at her.

Leah hugged Shawn one last time before she finally let him go. She kissed him in the lips and went back to hold your hand. Shawn's eyes caught yours and he sent you a small smile.

You muttered a wholehearted 'thank you' his way as you sighed relived. Shawn didn't say anything but he nodded back discreetly.

"Say bye bye daddy." You told Leah, waving to Shawn. Leah waved like you did, blowing Shawn a kiss.

"Bye princess, love you." Shawn replied, blowing a kiss back to Leah.

"Me or mommy?" Leah asked, laughing at Shawn. Shawn's eyes met yours, before he forced a small smile.

"Both." He said, but it sounded more like a whisperer.

"Good luck tonight, Shawn."

"Just... Will you let her watch me perform? I know it's passed her bedtime but-"

"Of course, Shawn." You promised him.

He looked at you for a second, eyes widen while licking his lips and then he nodded. You both waved goodbye as he headed towards his jeep.

***

"Mommy, mommy!" Leah yelled at you from the living room. "Come mum, come!"

"Leah, honey. I'm doing the dishes right now. I'll be there in a second."

You had barely spoken the words before Leah appeared in the doorframe to the kitchen, her dark brown and rather impatient eyes falling on you.

"No mommy." She said as she swayed towards you and grabbed your hand. "Now. You have to come now."

You put down the dirty plates and then you followed her as she dragged you towards the dim living room. It was rather late already, but as you had promised Shawn, you had allowed Leah to stay up and watch the Grammys. At least watch until Shawn's performance.

"Look mommy." She said, pointing towards the black tv hanging on the wall. A little box on the lower side of the tv let you know that Shawn was performing in just a few minutes and you suddenly understood your daughter's excitement.

"Daddy. It's daddy!" She said as her smile grew wider on her lips. You stroked her curly hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Yes, honey." You told her with a smile. "Sit down and watch it, then."

"Mom..." She reached for your hand and pulled you to the couch. "We need to watch it together."

You smiled at her reaction and sat down on the white couch, pulling her close to your body while making her giggle by giving her quick kisses on the cheek.

Although you were no longer with Shawn, you were still extremely proud of him and how far he had come throughout the years. You remembered this whole thing being a childhood dream back when you were both in school and you were, to a certain extent, grateful you had been a part of his journey to get where he was now. Your only regret was how it ended being the reason, or at least part of the reason, you could no longer call Shawn your husband. But tonight was a night to celebrate and you still had enough love for Shawn to celebrate it for him.

Leah crawled between your legs while her hand reached for the remote to turn the volume up. Her eyes were glued to the screen and the smile on her face could be seen from miles apart.

You caressed her back for a moment as you watched her excitement. She loved her daddy more than anything in the world and he had been, since the day she was born, her very own superhero. Leah adored Shawn with her entire heart and it warmed your heart to see it. You knew, you had struck gold when a father like Shawn.

"And now ladies and gentlemen, here's Shawn Mendes performing his new hit song If I Can't Have You!" The host said and shortly after, the cameras switched to another stage.

And there he was, Shawn on the middle of the stage sat by the piano with only a string on light towards him. The camera zoomed in on Shawn as his hands lowered to the keys and Leah clapped her hands happily at the sight of her father.

"Look mommy!"

"Yes, there's daddy." You planted a kiss on her cheek, though she barely paid any attention to you.

You felt your eyes getting watery but you stopped yourself from tearing up. Watching Shawn on the stage with only him and his piano forced your heart to skip a beat.

He was such a simple artist to you, pure on a whole other level. Whenever Shawn performed there were no dancers, special effects or other unnecessary things to distract you from the music. Shawn and his voice alone were enough to quiet an entire audience and leave the room with goose bumps whenever he started singing. His voice was breath-taking and you had always known that.

You looked at him properly and felt your heart skip a beat. The camera moved to Shawn's hands as he got ready to play the keys of the piano and you held your breath.

His fingers. The ring.

Shawn was still wearing his silver wedding ring. It trigged a painful yank in your chest as your fingertip slipped down to your own finger that suddenly seemed to empty. You caressed the skin where your wedding ring should have been and you couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

You heard Shawn take a deep breath and then, he started playing tones of the song. You wrinkled your forehead in confusion as the keys Shawn was playing wasn't the keys to his new song. You recognized the song, though. It wasn't new at all, in fact, it was one of the first songs he ever wrote.

Shawn shut eyes and allowed the music to consume him fully as he began singing. Your heart dropped to your stomach by the words that escaped his mouth.

Act Like You Love Me.

Shawn was really going to sing Act Like You Love Me. This song must have been at least eight years old, maybe more, though you weren't entirely sure.

You felt a lump form in your dry throat as you struggled to force any kind of air into your sore lungs. You felt yourself lose all control over your emotions and just like that, you couldn't hold the tears back.

***

December 21 st, 2016

"Shawn?" You mumbled, sounding more like a whisperer.

Shawn's eyes flickered from the piano towards your dim silhouette barely showing. You were hiding behind the doorframe to the living room, only your heard popping out for him to see you. Your heart was aching and you could barely breathe, though you tried your best to hide it.

When saw caught the fragile expression in your sore and red eyes, his familiar smile faded in the matter of seconds.

"Baby." He spoke, eyes worried. "I thought you were sleeping?"

"I can't really sleep." You stuttered as you fought the urge to collapse to the floor and cry. Shawn's eyes fell on your body as he watched you rub your palms anxiously. He could tell you had been crying.

"Hey..." Shawn mumbled, holding his hand out for you. "Come here, love."

You took Shawn's hand in yours and he pulled you closer to sit on his lap. At first, he didn't ask what was wrong or why you had been crying. All he did was cuddle you into his chest and kissing the top of your messy, unwashed hair, rocking your body slightly back and forth.

Being in Shawn's arm had always been your safe place and no matter the size of the storm in your heart, Shawn had an ability to always calm you down. His hands were caressing your back in circles and he continued giving you tender kisses while you clung to his body.

"What's going on, baby?" He mumbled into your ear. "Why are you crying?"

Although Shawn couldn't see your face, he was fully aware that you were currently sobbing silently into his chest, chewing your bottom lip to keep the cries from echoing.

"I just..." You stuttered, but your voice cracked and you couldn't continue talking.

Immediately, Shawn tightened his arms around you and locked you even further into his chest to assure you he was there. He let the tip of his nose brush your shoulder as he was trying to calm you down.

"Honey, please." He begged you. "You're obviously upset, what's going on?"

Shawn never really knew what to do when you were sad, not because he didn't want to help ease your pain, but because he hated seeing you with red eyes and tears on your face. He had spent the majority of your relationship making sure nothing or no one ever made you upset.

It made him uncomfortable whenever you were crying. It forced a pain to grow in his chest and he almost felt sick when he heard your sobs.

"I overheard a song..." You blurred as tears forced your voice to break. "The lyrics... I can't... Is that how you feel?"

"What song?" He asked you confused while wrinkles formed on his forehead. "What lyrics? I don't understand, baby."

Shawn removed a tot of hair sticking to your cheek and placed it behind your ear. His thumb ran along your jawline as he wiped a few tears on the way. You took a deep breath and shut your eyes shortly.

"Before you leave tomorrow, before you say goodbye." You muttered the words that had been replaying in your head all night long after overhearing them a few hours prior.

The words that consumed you with fear of losing Shawn, with the fear that he might change his mind and walk away. The fear that one day you would be left behind.

"Stay here and lay here right in my arms. It's only a moment, before you're gone. And I, am keeping you warm. Just act like you love me so I can go on."

The words flew from your mouth and you felt your heart shatter as you taste them on the tip of your tongue.

It was comical, really. How you remembered every last word of this when you could hardly remember what Shawn made for you for dinner last night. But these words, the lyrics from this song, they had been haunting your mind for hours and hours.

You didn't know why you had such a strong reaction to it, but something about these lyrics felt more real than anything Shawn had ever written before. He couldn't have made these lyrics up, they were too pure and too honest. He was feeling these deeply and that's what upset you.

"Oh, love." Shawn sighed, shutting his eyes shortly.

His thumb found your chin and he tilted your head to look at you properly. Tears were running down your cheeks and sticking to your lips. Shawn's heart dropped to his guts as he saw the pain clearly written all over you. You could tell he struggled to breathe.

"Don't you love me anymore?" You cried, looking directly into his eyes. Shawn's eyes widen and his mouth dropped while he stared at you.

Maybe he didn't have those feelings towards you anymore. Maybe he was done.

You felt a sickness reach the surface of your stomach and you had to fight the urge to vomit. Your eyes darted to the floor and you felt an uncomfortable cold run down your spine.

Shawn let his thumb slide across your trembling and wet lips, but he never removed his eyes from you. The fact that he didn't say anything assured you, he might not want to be with you.

"You always write songs about experiences in your life, Shawn. It's always something that you felt or thought about, something you went through or had to deal with. And I've heard all the other songs for the album, but this one... This one you've been keeping from me." You cried your way through the words, choking on the pain in your chest. "I can't help but think that..."

"That maybe it's about you?" Shawn finished your sentence. You nodded once while watching him carefully.

"I just want to know, Shawn. Don't you love me? Is this not what you want anymore?" You asked him, chewing on your bottom lip to prevent the sobs from escaping. "If you feel like you have to act like you love me, then..."

You couldn't even finish what you started, to even think that Shawn might not want to be in this relationship any longer was enough to silence you completely. You had, by far, figured you would end up together but maybe, Shawn had other plans.

"I love you, honey. Of course, I still love you." He assured you, his eyes watching you carefully. "How could I ever stop loving you?"

But I-"

"Listen to me, okay?" Shawn said, raising his eyebrow at you. "Carefully." You nodded as an answer.

"The song is called Act Like You Love me and yeah, it's about spilling up and heartache. But it's not what you think, okay? I thought about what it would feel like to be married to the love of your life. Someone whom you've built a life with and then... suddenly lose those feelings. I wanted to explore what that would feel like, what I would feel like."

"I don't believe you." You told him, silent sobs falling from your mouth. "The lyrics are too believable. It feels so real."

"That's because it is real, baby." Shawn told you, his thumb tracing above your lip. "I imagined being married to you, what it would feel like starting a life with you. And it left me with one of the purest and most honest songs I've ever written. That's why it feels so real. Baby, I thought about how I would feel if you ever left me."

Shawn's words cut through to you and the knot in your stomach began loosening just a tad as a few breaths made it to your lungs.

"You're not leaving me?"

"I'm not leaving." Shawn assured you, giving your hand an embrace. "I could never leave you. These lyrics, they describe how much I love you because I would fall apart, if you ever left me."

"Really?"

"You are such an important part of my life, baby. You make me who I am and you're the person I fall back on. My feelings for you have never been stronger. You're it for me, you always will be."

For the first time in hours, your body finally felt at ease.

Shawn lowered his head to attach his lips to yours while his familiar taste of mint stuck to the tip of your tongue. You forced your fingers into his curls as you tugged him closer to your mouth.

Shawn kissed you in a way he had never done before. You couldn't quite put your finger on what made it different this time, but you felt his heat in your bones and the butterflies in your stomach.

Shawn's hand locked behind your neck as he spread your lips apart and let his tongue slide into your welcoming mouth. You whimpered against him as his hands wandered your body.

"I could never stop loving you, I really hope you know that." He whispered against your lips as his thumb caressed your neck.

"I love you, Shawn. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did." You told him as your fingers ran down his back.

"You reacted the way you did because you really care. You don't need to apologize for caring."

Shawn locked his arms around your hips as he stood from the piano and carried you towards the bedroom as easily as nothing.

"Let's get you to bed, baby." He said, planting kisses on your neck. "You need sleep."

"I don't want to sleep." You whispered into his ear as you placed your hand on his chest. "I want to feel you, be with you."

"Baby?" He whispered into your ear as he placed you on the white bedsheets.

"Yes?"

"My heart won't ever stop beating for you." He told you as he crawled on top of you, pushed your back against the sheets and began kissing you passionately.

***

January 11 th, 2026

You couldn't hold back the tears and to be honest, you weren't quite sure why they were coming nor why your heart was touched as much as it seemed to be.

To your luck, Leah didn't notice your reaction at all, she was too caught up on watching Shawn to focus on anything else.

You both watched the tv as Shawn leaned closer to his mike and began singing the lyrics you knew like the back of your hands despite being years and years old, the words to the song that had easily become your favorite song Shawn had ever written.

"So you leave tomorrow, just sleep the night. I promise I will make things right, I'll make you breakfast, the way you like. Before you leave tomorrow, just let me try."

His voice was lower than usually and you could tell he was nervous from the way his words was shaking. His soft words went straight to your heart and you felt your body collapse underneath you. You had to hold back a sob by chewing roughly into your bottom lip.

"Before you leave tomorrow, before you say goodbye, before you leave tomorrow, before you leave. Stay here and lay here right in my arms, it's only a moment before you're gone. And I, am keeping you warm. Just act like you love me, so I can go on. And act like you love me, so I can go on."

Shawn's voice filled out the large arena and you instantly felt goose bumps crawling your skin. He had successfully made an entire arena silent just by using his voice and as always, he managed to leave people breathless.

But something felt different to you this time. You had heard him perform this particular songs hundreds of times but this time it seemed deeper to you. More emotional than normally. More real, honest even. And that's when you realized.

You had only heard the song like this one time before. That one night, lying in bed at four in the morning, fearing Shawn might actually leave you. You had heard the song as emotional and real that one night, when he wrote it about you leaving him.

"Just one more night, lying in bed. Whether it's wrong or right, just gotta make sense of it. And you'll be gone in the morning and you'll be over this. Just one more night, so I can forget. Stay here and lay here right in my arms. It's only a moment, before you're gone. And I, am keeping you warm, just act like you love me, so I can go on."

The words that sounded from Shawn's mouth was a constant punch in your guts and you felt like you were choking as you watched Shawn get more emotional during the performance. He was hurting and he was hurting deeply.

You had told Shawn you couldn't use his empty words. You had told him how you needed to see real change or a sign of some kind to truly believe whenever he told you, he wasn't done yet. And in the moment, you were pretty sure this was your sign.

Right here, right now. On national television Shawn proved exactly how much he really did love you.

You were fully aware that Andrew was going to kill Shawn for not playing the new song. That he was going to hear about changing their plans and going behind everyone's back to play the song that was special to you but to be entirely honest, you couldn't care less.

Shawn chose you. This time, he chose you. Above anything and anyone, you came first.

"When you go, I can't watch you leave. Just promise me you'll sneak out when I'm asleep. And when you go and you're miles down the road, I wake up wishing everything was just a dream. Just act like you love me, so I can go on."

Shawn's voiced faded out as the last words escaped his mouth and the audience stood up to applause him for his beautiful performance. You watched as he placed one hand on his chest while the other hand wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye.

Leah immediately rose from the couch to clap at her father like the person on tv did and you couldn't help but smile at her. Shawn had left them all speechless. Hell, he left you speechless too.

Shawn smile widely as he finally breathed out and took a bow. His fingers were touching his wedding ring as the camera went to his face and he stared directly towards it.

It was for you. Only you and no one else had a clue. It was a moment between the two of you that Shawn had planned all on his own.

"Mommy." Leah mumbled, looking worryingly at you. "Why are you crying?"

"Mommy's proud. That's all, love." You managed to say as you sent her a smile.

And though you were proud of him, it wasn't what made you the most emotional. For the first time in years, you felt like there was hope. That's what Shawn proved to you tonight, he gave you a sign of hope that maybe this family wasn't as lost after all. Maybe he had finally gotten wiser.

You left Leah in living room as you walked towards the bedroom, reaching for your phone on the way. You closed the door behind you and dialed Shawn's number fully aware that he wouldn't answer.

"Hey, it's Shawn. I can't come to the phone at the moment, but leave a message and I'll get back to you."

"Hi Shawn, it's me. I know you're still on stage... I'm practically watching you walk off, but... This was, you were... Gosh, I don't even know how to start. Our marriage is a mess and there's so many things we need to figure out and work on but... If you're really serious about this and about us, I want to save this with you. I want to fight for this and for our family. I'm not saying we're getting back together or anything like that, but I'm willing to work on it. I want to fight for you but only if you want to fight for me too. I love you, always. And just like you once told me, my heart won't ever stop beating for you."

After you had blurred out your confession on Shawn's voicemail, you noticed the tears running down your face. You knew there was no guarantee you could work this out or that you could actually come out of this stronger, but the stunt Shawn just pulled assured you that he'd had a realization about what was important to him in life.

If he was genuinely ready to fight this time, then so were you. You had always been ready to put up a fight.

You moved to your drawer on your bedside and found the little black box you had been hiding in the rearrests corner. You opened the lid and let your finger slide across the sliver ring hiding inside. You picked up the wedding ring and put it back on your finger.

Back where it belonged, back where you had been feeling empty for months and suddenly, your heart didn't feel as heavy as it previously had.

As you watched your ring back on your finger you felt the heat spread in your veins. You had missed it being on its place and you had missed the feeling of belonging with someone, belonging to your husband.

Tonight Shawn proved that actions really do speak louder than words.

*****

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