Grimmjow, accidental beauty blogger?
Inspired by my own stupid post and @the8thsphynx priceless comment. I was hit by the crack fairy after I realized that I had no idea how Pinterest actually works, so I made this up as I went. And thanks to my friend @dreamywritingdragon I even figured out my Pinterest name! xD I’m dumb.
The vibration of his phone woke Grimmjow with a snort. He opened one gummy eye just enough to squint as he fished under his pillow for the phone. For fuck’s sake, who the hell messaged him at the crack of 1 p.m. on a Sunday?
His head throbbed from the weekend’s parties as he finally held the phone, but peeling his other eye open didn’t help the messages make sense.
Yuzulemon: HI! I really love your stuff, your hair is so pretty! The color is beautiful and it looks so soft! I just wondered if you have any advice for keeping it long? Like, I’m trying to convince my brother to grow his out but he says it would be too much trouble?
Yuzulemon: Also you’re really cute trying out the makeup. You go, boy! That green really suits you!
Both messages were sprinkled with emojis, but Grimmjow still couldn’t understand. They were sent to his personal Jmail account, but he’d never heard of the chick. So he ignored it and rolled over, but the phone vibrated again.
Yuzulemon: Sorry to keep bothering you, but how long did it take to get your hair that long? I think if I can get my brother past the first stage so he can pull it up, he’ll be OK. Did you do ponytails a lot? Or man-buns? It looks nice the way you have it now too!
Grimmjow had enough.
BigBadGrimm: STFU I don’t know who the fuck you are but leave me alone.
He’d just dozed back off when the phone vibrated in his hand. Groaning, he swiped the message open but this time it was from another account.
Oneberry: Hey asshole, that’s my sister you upset. Don’t be a dick and stop posting shit of yourself if you don’t want comments on it.
Posting shit? What? Grimmjow managed to sit up against the bed’s headboard and swallow a few times to fend off the nausea. He’d had a good weekend, a big party Friday night at a sorority and another huge party Saturday, first at a bar and then finishing at the house he shared with friends. They didn’t join a fraternity, but they nicknamed the house Hueco Mundo and they definitely knew how to party.
Grimmjow vaguely remembered getting into a fight with Nnoitra and Szayelaporro about something, but that wasn’t unusual. They were usually pissing each other off over anything from who ate what food to putting the moves on the wrong person someone else had called dibs on.
He definitely didn’t have any recollection of posting anything online last night.
He thumbed out a reply: Fuck you. And your sister.
Since he was awake and cranky, Grimmjow swept through the rest of his Jmail account and saw a series of mails from Wintrest. Wasn’t that the site that suburban moms used to look at pictures of food and house shit? Grimmjow had certainly never even glanced at the site, let alone signed up for an account.
Only he had. Or someone had. There was a welcome email and a verify-the-account email, both of which were marked read. Grimmjow scowled at the screen as he saw recommended lists for him to check and then, to his growing horror, several reactions to “his” posts.
“Oh shit,” he grumbled as he opened one. Then his messenger vibrated with a message.
Oneberry: You don’t get to say that. That’s my sister, you despicable sack of shit. Hdu. You’re an asshole and I’ll post this so everyone can see your asshole ways.
BigBadGrimm: Go ahead, what do I care
The first post Grimmjow opened made him swear loudly. The picture had been taken his first year at university, when he’d still had the super-long hair that he always loudly claimed gave him the most energy and power. His friends had mocked him ruthlessly so he’d cut it off eventually, but he remembered doing that pose one night, looking back over his shoulder, smirking for the camera, all his luscious, wavy hair flowing down his back. It was that bitch-ass Szayel who’d taken it.
To his extreme amazement and annoyance, the picture had already been liked seven times. Under it, with the badly misspelled mess characteristic to Nnoitra, was something about washing his hair only in seltzer water because the bubbles gave it body.
He snarled and went to the next one and the next. Most of them were his long hair in various stages, when it seemed like it had a mind of its own. Each had some asinine “advice” like only washing it when the moon was full or dipping it in beer in between so it could drink and be bouncy.
Then he saw one that he knew Ulquiorra had taken in their dorm bathroom freshman year. Grimmjow had his hair pulled back off his face with a thick headband and the rest tied up sloppily on his head as he leaned over the sink brushing his teeth, his eyes gazing into the mirror.
Under that were some suggestions on maintaining the whitest teeth with frequent brushing and even more applications of liquor. Grimmjow gnashed his teeth as if he imagined them biting into a certain someone’s tender white throat.
His traitorous phone vibrated twice.
Oneberry: You’re at Karakura right? I’ll find your ass and make you sorry. Dick. My sister was just trying to be nice.
Oneberry: You don’t even look good. Who the fuck grows their hair into a mullet that long?
Grimmjow pinched his nose. The last few pics were more recent. They were from gatherings all over campus, with him in various stages of undress, showing his current hair and trademark grin, although he noticed his “friends” had been carefully cropped out of each shot. The last one from Halloween was a video and he steeled himself to press the play arrow.
It was only a few seconds of when he’d been beside Szayel at a mirror, sarcastically narrating the process as he applied the makeup for his costume. He winced at his affected voice as he swiped green eyeshadow in exaggerated swirls all around his eyes and pouted for the camera that he knew was being held by Nnoitra.
There was only one thing to do.
Those bastards were dead.
Of course they had just used his phone to log in to Jmail, so they didn’t even have to make up new accounts. If Grimmjow hadn’t been so hungover and so angry, he might have admired that they’d actually taken that much time and trouble to fuck him over. But he didn’t care about that; he just wanted to wring their necks.
Then he realized that there were a couple comments under most of the pictures, and every single one of them was positive. Even the one that some dickwad posing as him—it had Nnoitra all over it—claimed he used jizz to keep his hair in its current coiffed position. The Yuzulemon girl had given it heart-eyes and a laugh then a thumbs-up.
Well, didn’t Grimmjow feel like a dick now.
He slowly and carefully composed a message to Yuzulemon, carefully watching the autocorrect.
Hey, sorry I didn’t know about the pics on Wintrest. I didn’t post them. Some guys did it as a joke. I just woke up and found out. I’m sorry I yelled at you.
He hit send and then quickly opened another message. Thank you for the nice things you said. If you really do have questions about hair, I could try and answer. I let mine grow all through high school. I cut it off last year.
He waited a moment in silence then even more slowly typed, erased and retyped a message to Oneberry.
Hey, sorry about before. My friends made that account to fuck me over. I didn’t know. I apologized to your sister. I shouldn’t have been such an asshat to her.
While he chewed at his thumbnail and waited for a reply, he re-read what Oneberry had sent him more closely.
WTF how do you know I’m at Karakura? You go here too?
There were no replies and Grimmjow was forced to answer the call of nature and retreat to the bathroom. He didn’t run into any of his housemates so he took a long shower before heading back to his room. He was getting dressed and debating what he wanted to try eating when his phone finally buzzed.
Maybe Yuzulemon and Oneberry had needed time to talk to each other. Maybe they were reporting him to someone. Maybe their family had a weird obsession with fruit.
Grimmjow snatched the phone quickly to see a message from Oneberry.
You’re a sick fucker and your friends are worse. Too bad all that hair must have smothered your good manners.
Well, it looked like his very sincere apology wasn’t going to be accepted. He sent back a single character—the middle finger emoji.
He’d just pulled on his shirt when his phone went off. This time he sat down to read the message from Yuzulemon.
That sucks! Your friends are mean! But you could have explained that before you went off on me.
He answered immediately. I know. I’m sorry. Your messages woke me up and I didn’t know what was going on.
Yuzulemon: Well next time you should think before you hit send.
Grimmjow grimaced at the string of emojis, but he had to admit the kid was right.
Yeah, ok, he wrote back.
Yuzulemon answered quickly. Sorry that my brother went after you. He was sitting here when I got your reply and he’s kinda Big Brother sometimes. He goes to Karakura too.
Grimmjow just had to ask. How do you know where I go to school?
Yuzulemon: *series of laughing emojis* We live in Karakura and your pics showed campus in the background.
Yuzulemon: Oops, not your pics but the pics you were in. My bro is a freshman.
Well, at least that explained that. He felt a little better that they hadn’t actually stalked him or anything.
Nice. I’m a junior.
Yuzulemon: Do you have a gf? Bf?
Grimmjow stared at his phone and didn’t know how to answer. He was definitely not into high school or younger girls, which she must be if her “big” brother was only a freshman.
Then his phone vibrated in a fury.
Oneberry: YUZU WTF
Oneberry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING QUIT TALKING TO HIM
And Grimmjow realized Yuzulemon had been copying Oneberry in on their latest conversation. Shit.
Yuzulemon: It’s OK! He’s nice!
Grimmjow quickly typed I only date guys. There, that should get the brother off his back before he blew his top again.
Yuzulemon: Cool, you should get together with Ichi and talk him into letting his hair grow. I think he would look SO GOOD with long hair like yours.
Oneberry: YUZU IM NOT KIDDING IM BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM STOP IT
Grimmjow couldn’t help a laugh. I don’t think your brother would like that.
Yuzulemon: Why not? You could at least tell him what a tattoo feels like. He’s always threatening Dad that he’s going to get one but Dad won’t let him.
How do you know about my tattoos?
Yuzulemon: I could see them peeking out from under your hair in the shirtless pics!
Oneberry: YUZU IM TELLING DAD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW
Grimmjow felt weirdly exposed.
Yuzulemon: Here’s a pic I took of Ichigo last week.
Grimmjow felt something totally different when the picture loaded.
Oneberry: NEVERMIND IM CLIMBING THE TREE AND BUSTING THE WINDOW IF I HAVE TO STOP TALKING TO THIS FREAK
This Ichigo had a killer six-pack and was holding up the bottom of his T-shirt to show it off. His mouth was open in a scowl as if he were telling the picture taker not to do it. The picture cut off at his nose, but Grimmjow liked what he saw.
Yuzulemon: Why don’t you two meet up for coffee tonight? He’s usually only in class or at the gym but I think he needs more friends.
Yuzulemon: He won’t admit it, but I think he likes your hair too. *series of winky and kissy faces*
Grimmjow rubbed his hand over his face. This was the strangest and most bizarre way he’d ever been set up in his life, but damn if he didn’t almost want to meet the guy.
I don’t think we have much in common. Thanks anyway.
Yuzulemon: Don’t say that! He likes reading and music and mixed martial arts and all kinds of fun stuff!
Oneberry: SO HELP ME YUZU IF I FALL OUT THIS TREE
Yuzulemon: Here’s his number. Text him directly. I have to go see if he really fell. Maybe you could visit him in the hospital!
Grimmjow let out a long breath and barked another laugh.
But he saved the number. Just in case.
And he clicked on the link Yuzu provided to go to her Wintrest page. After a few minutes of looking through the recipes and desserts she’d apparently tried and succeeded at, he followed her. Since his “friends” had been so kind to make him an account, he might as well not let it go to waste.
He stripped his shirt back off, pulled his jeans down low on his hips and with some twisting and fumbling, managed to take a good picture of one of his back tattoos with his own smirk visible in the mirror. It didn’t take long for him to figure out how to upload it to Wintrest with a special comment.
Don’t have much to say about hair or makeup, but I do like tattoos and working out. And I could give advice to any dumbass trying to climb a tree—DON’T.
He didn’t even have to wait a minute before Yuzulemon liked his post and gave it about a hundred heart eyes.
Ego properly stoked, Grimmjow pocketed his phone when he heard the shouting and slamming doors that indicated some of his housemates returning from wherever. After he dealt them a righteous retribution of asskicking, he might just text Ichigo. He couldn’t be as bad as Grimmjow’s own friends, could he?
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Just a little venting here to get it off my chest.
Just as quick back story: I’ve lived with my friend of 10 years and his wife for about 2 years. I pay more than half of the rent. I have a bf that I am with every single day to the point that I may as well be considered to be living with him. I am at my friend’s (my actual home) for about less than 24 hours a week at this point.
Recently, my friend/roommate, we’ll call him N, and I were having a conversation about my current situation. He stated that he’s charging me too much since I’m barely there and if I wanted to adjust the amount of my rent then it was something we could do. He told me he does not even need my money to get by so it wouldn’t be an issue for him.
Last month the decision has been made for me to get dental work done. To start, I’m to have 5 teeth removed; all four wisdom teeth plus one that my sideways growing wisdom tooth broke. I had my dentist appointment, oral surgery consultation, and on the 30th I’ll be going through with the procedure. It’s gonna cost me a pretty penny and although I’m certain I’ll be able to make monthly payments, it’s gonna leave me in quite a bind but it needs to be done asap. So I thought perhaps I could ask N to either work something out to make my payments to him less or if I could even possibly skip this month’s rent to get a boost on paying off my upcoming dental work and so maybe I won’t be so broke. I especially thought that since he had previously, literally the last time we had had a conversation, told me that he was charging me too much money for how little I am there and the like, that perhaps he would be savvy to the idea of helping out his friend who desperately needs this procedure done. Oh how wrong I was.
We’re sitting in his car and goes on about how he cares about me and how he wants me to be able to take care of my health. Says that he’s glad it’s finally gonna happen because I’ve been wanting to get this done for years now. Well then he says, “I’m willing to FORGIVE (he emphasized the word) you for skipping this month’s rent so you can get a boost towards your dental care. Starting next month however, I will be RAISING your rent by $40.” I sat there quietly ingesting his words and trying to make sense of his logic. First of all... “FORGIVE me??” Excuse me? The only reason I even thought to maybe ask in the first place was because he was JUST saying how he was charging me TOO MUCH to live there. I pay MORE than half of the rent of the apartment and now he expects me to pay $40 more? I could easily understand the logic of, “to make up for not paying for this month” however, based on what he previously told me and even after I had said to him that I’m basically going to be broke as it is... Not only have I been working 10 hours less a week than I used to due to my one manager being so incompetent with scheduling lately (he uses this auto-scheduler and it’s been really screwing over a lot of people both with hours and tons of close/open shifts), I’ll be missing an entire week’s pay due to my upcoming procedure, and I’ll be dealing with the dentist bills. I’m SOL for a good while no matter how I look at it. After telling me about the raise in rent and how much he cares for me and such, he asked me how I felt about it. Honestly I was so exhausted after work that night and so perplexed that all I could come to say was, “It seems I don’t really have much of a choice. I don’t have an opinion on the matter.” I was just so done talking at that point.
I talked it over with my bf later that night and we both decided F that and I’ll just pay him my usual monthly rent when I get paid next. It’s gonna suck majorly for a bit but less sucky than if I paid that extra $40 tbh. I’m not letting him take advantage of me and RAISING my rent after he had just said I pay too much. F that! Who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again too? I’m not giving him all of my money for a room I’m barely in.
The thing is too, I truly feel like he’s trying to keep me there for as long as he can. It’s the way he talks to me and about me. He once even said, in front of his wife, that if he wasn’t already married he would pursue me. Mind you, he’s about 12 years older than me. He’s made plenty of “joke” passes at me. Also, about a month or two ago I was in my room getting ready to pack up for my bf’s when I had noticed this smeared stain on the foot-end of my quilt. Look dude... I’m not dirty. I wash and I certainly don’t sit on my bed with no pants on. Both he and his wife bathe MAYBE once or twice an entire month. I wish I was exaggerating. I’ve seen when we’ve gone out to do laundry before too... Look man.. It freaked me right the hell out. To think that he was in my room, sitting with his pants down on my bed, doing who knows what (I don’t even want to know). It’s bad enough when that day, I had asked him to find this invoice that I knew I had sitting on or near the table along with something I needed to return, he had said to me he could never find it and made jokes about how he went all throughout my room and touched all of my clothes and underwear. He’s made further jokes about calling me “nee-san” (sister) and has “joked” that he’s, “only doing what a good nii-san (brother) would do”. In reference to those brother/sister type hentai...
I’ve come to feel rather trapped there and wish so badly I could move out sooner than later but I really don’t have a choice right now. I’m so uncomfortable both when I’m there and even when I’m not there because I don’t know what he could be doing in my room when I’m not home. What I hate the most is that someone who I regarded as a good, close friend or even like family for years, is now someone that disgusts me and I almost fear being around.
I’ve thought about other ways for me to get out but they’re just not possible at the moment. I’ve thought about renting a storage unit to keep my things in since I usually stay at my bf’s but the fact of the matter is, I need a stable and reliable place to live. My bf and his brother live with their mom and they all take care of each other. His family really likes me and I honestly have never felt so at home anywhere else before. Apparently, he and his mom have talked about me moving in but she wants to wait for his brother to move so I can have a room of my own to keep my things in. I’m not sure what the future holds but I can only hope things get better. I’m just so tired of being held back in part by someone else. I finally have something truly wonderful in my life and I want for nothing more than to fully enjoy it without being under someone’s thumb.
This is the year I heal and blossom into the me I’ve always craved. Some way I’ll make it through all of my worries and I’ll keep on smiling.
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