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rrasado · 3 years

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No Spider Lilies : I

|| Act 2 of The Snapping ||

A/N: Ara? What’s this? I never thought I’d find myself wanting to actually re-end this accidental series dksjsn but...I wasn’t satisfied and frankly I’m craving an even more sorrowful route. Who knows? After all...this all deviates from the main story line in game. As usual I shall provide any necessary trigger warnings to ensure a safe reading for you all 💙🌒💙. Pleas tell if you want to be part of a tag list for the next parts. I’ll be using my past tag list as basis but if you don’t wanna be tagged next time don’t hesitate to tell me ^ ^.

Tagging: @starshiningsirius @dittoqueeno @thatweirdomidas @bnhastakenover

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And when death do them part…

...would it really fulfill that cruelty?

Storm clouds formed high above, raindrop cascading down on everything on the face of the earth indiscriminately. The residents of that lamenting house deep in the Devildom never really cared for such details lest it concerned them and their doings directly. At least...that was when they didn’t know how to care, so what happened?

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The records...the way the aged parchment felt in the exchange student’s hand just signified the reality of the parchment’s contents. No excuse can dismiss such news, especially one of this degree… They could barely speak in the moment, a few deafeningly silent minutes passed before they peered up at the Devildom prince’s own butler.

“I...thank you Barbatos…”

Their gratitude was much more meaningful than at face value, the scale of the revelation they had just received isn’t something to be taken lightly and since it especially concerns them, well…

“I trust that you’re taking all of it in?... I can only imagine how you feel right after...certain prior events.”

They both knew what the time bonded demon was referring to, after all it was him who escorted them to their new place of residence for the rest of their stay here at the Devildom. Hah..that was already two months ago. Now that they thought of it...Barbatos have always been there for them huh? The reveal...the dorm transfer requesting...and now this. Whether it was due to his time related prowess or sheer coincidence which- they honestly dismissed after everything that has come to play- the human was grateful.

“Yeah...I think...I’m actually thankful for this”

Barbatos blinked for a good few good seconds before arching a brow at their proclamation. Thankful? Does the human not know what the contents make of them? His confusion was brought to a close when MC casually waved the parchment, it’s sounds accompanied by the night wind that whizzed past the two in front of Purgatory Hall.

“I feared the worst, humans tend to...be easily toppled by the unexpected per se...Then again you are the great exception”

“Eheh I’m honored you hold me in high regard. Because it’ll make my next proposal a bit easier”

And yet again, the butler’s confusion returned, proposal? Well after everything that has spiraled leading up to where they stand it honestly wasn’t that far fetched to him, so with an affirmative nod he gestured for them to continue.

“Hearing of it won’t hurt, what is it you wish then?”

He didn’t miss the way MC’s lips tugged upward in subtle relief. The human’s gaze quickly flickered back to the contents of the parchment and without looking up they spoke.

“Can I count on you if I need to make a wretched departure?”

De...parture? He had a hunch but he needs more context…

“In what sense does this departure fall on for you to need my assistance?”

“Hm...a departure that looks grimmer to those you choose to be grim to.”

The two turned their heads to thewhite haired sorcerer. An ever knowing smirk on his expression as he stood there arms crossed. How long has he been eavesdropping? Not that MC minded...after all they’ve grown to actually trust the shady sorcerer along with the other two angelic residents of Purgatory Hall.

“Truth be told, I've been conducting research of my own… and to a pleasant surprise it seems my lead was not entirely off!”

Childish tone aside, his gaze showed no sign of jest nor kid. In one flick of his finger the old parchment apparated within Solomon’s grasp. And if possible the smug aura on his features grew twofold along with an amused chuckled escaping his parted lips. My oh my did he always manage to come so close yet far..

“Would you believe me if I said I was prepared to act on my pact in the making of this negotiation?”

“Fufufu I do believe that we’re still in the phase of hearing this proposal... I have yet to bestow a verdict so you shouldn’t speak so mightily Solomon.”

“And if I may continue..”

…

…..

“...I see…”

The sheer collateral damage at stake is something of its own degree when not tended to with precise caution. He's only delivered the news tonight and yet it was as if they’ve been concucting such a proposition for a considerable amount of time. Then again...the sorcerer did mention doing his own antics regarding the subject.

“With all that said...Barbatos, will you lend us a hand or a place at blade point?”

His shoulders rose and fell with the seconds that passed before he gave a slow curt nod at the two humans.

“Hm… if it means something, the young Lord did vow behind closed doors that he shall keep all the exchange students safe no matter what it may cost...and seeing as it will technically align with my duties..”

A chorus of amused laughter spilled from the magicless human, lips curled into a grin whilst the sorcerer could only let out a chuckle or two.

“Barbatos, I thank you. I know you won’t state it as is but, your help is very much appreciated”

“It really is, and it puts me at ease knowing I have you on our side in this whole issue…”

“If I may...I’d like to evaluate this more into much prefaced details. Would it be alright if we were to properly prepare this? After all...this especially concerns you, MC”

Said human gave an affirmative nod as their hands clasped behind their back, fiddling with their own exposed fingers as the late night breeze passed the three of them yet again.

“It’s best we all retire...who knows what’ll happen if we idle out here any longer, an interesting sight to see this particular roster of residents out of premises at this hour noh?”

“Point taken...well we’ll see you next time Barb”

“Yes...I bid you two a good evening and a hopefully peaceful night.”

A wish so innocent yet truthfully hard to attain...especially with the cruel revelation that brought the three of them together in the first place. They should learn to tread carefully from here on out. At least...that’s what Solomon thought. That same night breeze had passed the gardens, among which were multiple blossoms yet to bloom, all but one crimson lily...

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And from a starry night it all flickers to that unforgiving herd of rain clouds, their own right of sorrow spiraling along with those that received their cold moist. If followed...those raindrops fall onto someone crouched form, in front of a chipped tombstone amidst any ordinary cemetery that lays barren with the weather.

A lone umbrella covered the crouched form, rendering any other incoming rain from soaking the tuft of white hair any further. Mammon didn’t need to look up and see who it was offering cover. Levi didn’t care whether he himself got wet and frankly not even the rain water on his skin put him at any ease whatsoever. No one could be comforted at this point… And whatever it was to put the usually bickering brothers in such hushed silence…

“We gotta get going y’know…”

“...five more mins…”

“Lucifer is getting restless the more you push your luck-“

“Then let him dammit”

Levi didn’t even bother questioning his brother's lack of fear for the first born. Normally he would’ve made fun of it but… when his orange hued gaze fell on to what was even engraved on the chipped tombstone. It didn’t sit right with him, heck it didn’t sit right with any of them. And who could blame them...the guilt crawling on their backs never left when they saw them leave the House of Lamentation. At some point they thought of...eventually getting closure, some of them even had plans.

But now they won’t be able to attain such desirable closure, not when...they aren’t there to listen to their pathetic pleas.

A good few distance away from them was the Avatar of Wrath, observing all of his brothers from the side as he always had. His eyes flickered to each of their situations, emerald orbs not letting a single twitch of an eye nor brow going unnoticed. If allowed to be honest, he found them all utterly pathetic… and he’s already filtered out most dark thoughts that have plagued his mind. Besides, they deserved this, this torment didn’t compare to what those on the opposite end of their mistakes felt. He had every right to speak of so. Thankful for the cover the rain provided he took a sharp step to the side, turning his whole body to the other direction that had garnered a scoff of attention from the the laxer twin.

“..where are you going?”

Hearing Belphie’s question had Satan stop monetarily in his tracks, and without looking back at him he muttered a quick ‘somewhere’ before resuming his strides towards the direction of the cemetery gates.

Belphegor watched the blonde's figure go farther from where he stood, turning his attention back to his twin with a numb look on his features.

“It’s odd…”

A brow was raised at the sudden statement, but at the same time he completely understood what the glutton meant.

Their eyes setting sight on the tombstone mammon and Levi were idling in front of… ‘ A beloved friend and family’ written on the very same tombstone. MC’s full name carved elegantly on its face that used to seem so unreal when they first arrived but, the longer the twins looked the more it actually sank into them.

The human is dead.

Lilith’s descendant is dead.

Beel couldn’t even manage to stomach his food, he knew there was something off when he felt a sudden snuff of energy in the atmosphere that day. Not only him but all of them did...and to think it was actually this.

The guilt kept stacking.

But hidden in their walls of guilt the fourth brother allowed himself to be led towards the cemetery gates, left to his own grim thoughts he couldn’t help but to wonder if..all this will be for the better or for the worse… and in a fraction of a second he was snapped out of his thoughts. The flicker of a shadow barely registering in his peripheral vision..

.hah...

...He wished them all goodluck

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Me, a few months ago:

I’m a clown I know-

As always y’all know the drill, just say if any of you wanna be tagged in the next part ^ ^.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#obey me swd #swd obey me #obey me fanfic #obey me fic #obey me barbatos #obey me angst #rras writes #TS! Act 2 #writings from the eclipse #obey me solomon #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me satan

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thebrotherssalvatore321 · 3 years

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Keeping Secrets Ch. 34

Keeping Secrets Masterlist

Pairing: past: DamonxOc, TylerxOc, ElijahxOc. Future: KlausxOc. Warnings: Smut-ish and a gif containing nudity towards the end.

Katie managed to mind her own business for a month. Her only friends at school were Rebekah, who talked her out of quitting cheer considering that during their routines was the only time Katie ever smiled anymore, and Caroline who had stopped ignoring her and talked to her like they used to despite keeping certain things to themselves. Klaus had been busy dodging attempts against his and Rebekah’s lives. Like Damon and Stefan killing Finn in an attempt to kill all the originals, but Klaus had made Bonnie un-link the siblings, so it didn’t work. It did, however, reveal that when an original is killed, every vampire they’ve turned along with anyone those vampires turned, died.

Even with everything going on, Klaus managed to find time to shoot her a random text here and there to check up on her. She always replied with, I’m fine, but he knew she wasn’t. Rebekah had also tried to talk Katie into going to the 20’s decade dance tonight, but Katie just didn’t think she could sit through a stupid dance without being completely miserable.

She was sitting at her kitchen table doing homework when she heard someone knock on the door. She didn’t answer, assuming it was Rebekah coming to try one more time to get her to go to the dance, whoever it was let themselves inside. “Rebekah I told you I’m not going to that stupid dance.” She sighed only to see Klaus when she looked up. He wore an off white tux, a blue and white tie and a yellow hankie in the pocket of his jacket. His hair was slightly gelled and parted on the side. If she was being completely honest she didn’t think it was his best look.

“Well she may have failed at getting you to go but she successfully talked me into it.” He informed her as her eyes took in the green dress with black sparkling beads all over it and tassels hanging off the short zig-zag hem line, knotted white beads, a green headband with peacock feathers on it and a pair of black satin gloves were looped over the hook of the hanger that hung off his long nimble index finger.

“And she asked you to ask me to be your date?” Katie asked tiredly.

“Actually it was my idea.” He told her with a closed lipped smile. “You’ve been locking yourself in this house every day after school. You need to get out and have some fun.”

“I can assure you that a high school dance will not be fun.” She told him flatly. “Besides there’s like a seventy five percent chance that something is going to go incredibly wrong at that dance given the fact that since Damon and Stefan came to town our dances have been a hot spot for vampire, witch, werewolf activity.”

“If I’m going so are you.” he walked over, gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up from the chair with ease.

“I’ve told you once and I tell you again, I don’t take orders from you.” she told him as she took her arm out of his hand.

“Such defiant words from a woman with not even the slightest spark of fire in her eyes.” he told her as he cupped her chin in his big hand. “My brother extinguished you. I have every intention of setting you ablaze once again.” The look in his eyes sent a shiver through her spine that made her swallow hard and drop her eyes. When she looked back up at him he gave her a smirk and slipped his thumb over her cheek bone. “Now, go get dressed.” He lifted the dress up, but instead of taking it from him she cocked a brow at him and a smirk of her own tugged at the corner of her lips. He rolled his eyes. “Please.” She took the dress and went up stairs.

An hour later she came down stairs wearing the dress. Her hair was simply twisted and tucked at the back of her head to make her blond and red tresses appear short and the headband went across her forehead, the bundle of peacock feathers sat above her right ear. Simple eyeshadow let her red lips be the focal point of her face. “The shoes don’t really match, but they are the only black ones I own.” She motioned to the black heals she wore to homecoming.

“Trust me, Love, no one will be looking at your feet.” He told her, drinking her in as she walked over to him, the tassels brushing against her upper thighs as she did.

“Then tell me, what will they be looking at?” she asked, not breaking eye contact with him as she grabbed her keys and debit card off the table behind the couch that they were standing next to then put them in the black clutch in her hand along with her lipstick and makeup wipes.

His eyes moved down to her red lips then a little further taking in how the lines of black beads on the bust of the dress accented her curves before he looked back up at her eyes. “Lucky for you the women of the 1920’s were fairly modest when it came to the necklines of their dresses.”

“Yeah…lucky me.” She sighed then snapped the clutch shut. “Can we just get this over with?”

“If you do not at least attempt to have fun then going to this dance is pointless.” He told her and she just looked at him. “Smile.” The smallest smile pulled at the corner of her lips for a fleeting second. “You can do better than that.” She pulled her lips back showing off her teeth. “Are you silently growling at me, Love? Come on! Smile.” He told her in an up beat voice attempting to fire her up. She pursed her lips and pulled them to the side as she raised her brows at him. “Smile or I’ll find that ass hole classmate that hit on you at homecoming and break his spine like I originally wanted to.” Thinking about Klaus scaring the shit out of that sleazy guy brought a small smile to her face. “Not nearly good enough, but I’ll take it.”

“Can we go now?” she asked with a small genuine laugh and a motion to the door. He walked over to it and pulled it open for her.

TVDTVDTVD

When they walked into the gym Caro Emerald’s “That Man” filled their ears while everyone danced to the upbeat song. “You would have liked the twenties.” Klaus told her as they walked into the crowd to find a place to dance. As they found a spot the song cut off and a slow song started. Klaus grabbed her hand and pulled her into him with his arm looped around her waist. “The girls were reckless, sexy…fun.” He pulled her closer and spun her around. “They literally used to dance until they dropped.”

“From exhaustion or blood loss?” Katie asked with a look up at him through her lashes.

“Answer me this.” He slid his hand down to the small of her back. “If you lived somewhere where vampires and their natural habits and impulses were not frowned upon and judged as harshly as the people in this town do. Would you not give in and indulge in all the things being a vampire could offer you? Would you not murder just for the fun of it?”

Katie thought back to her time in Nashville. Being away from Mystic Falls, where no one knew her or what she was…She had done some things that made her feel good in a bad way. She lured men into her hotel room, got them drunk, compelled them, fed on them, and while she didn’t sleep with anyone she did make out with one guy she was pretty sure was a model. When he grew inpatient and dipped his head into her line of view she looked at him. “Indulge? Most definitely, but there’s a line I don’t cross and I draw it long before murder comes into the picture.”

“You say that like you’ve had to draw that line before.” He observed.

“Because I have.” She answered as she let go of his hand and placed both of hers on his neck as they danced. He slid his hands up her back holding her closer. “And it was fun.” He smiled before he realized they had been dancing for a while and Rebekah hadn’t made an appearance. “What?” she asked, watching him look around.

“Have you seen Rebekah?” he asked.

“No.” Katie answered looking around spotting Caroline and Tyler, Elena and Stefan, Bonnie and some guy she guess was her mother’s adopted son Jamie, who according to Caroline Bonnie liked. She didn’t see Rebekah anywhere. “She’s made it her goal to hijack this dance from Caroline. I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” Caroline noticed Katie and gave her a small smile then realized who Katie was dancing intimately with and gave her a questioning look. Katie realized then how close Klaus was holding her and the fact that she didn’t hate it. “I need some air.” She pushed him back and went outside intending on going to her car, but she slammed into an invisible wall a few feet outside the gym. “What the hell?” she asked looking down to see a line of salt. Her eyes followed it to see that it encircled the entire school.

“Esther’s back. We’re all trapped in here.” Stefan told her.

“Why won’t that bitch just stay dead?” She sighed.

“Rebekah, call me back immediately.” They heard Klaus say as he walked out of the gym. “I only came to this ridiculous dance because you begged me to and now you’re nowhere to be found.” He looked up to see her and Stefan. “Call me back.” he hung up and looked back and forth between Katie, Stefan and the salt line. “What is this?”

“Esther is back, again.” Katie answered. “We’re stuck in here.”

TVDTVDTVD

The dance was called off and the human students were free to walk out of the salt ring. Bonnie tried to do a locator spell on Elena, but Esther fought her on it. Because she was channeling a hot spot, Klaus knew Esther was at the old cemetery where Klaus first killed her. Since none of them could leave, Matt and Jeremy went after Esther and Elena.

Katie sat in the cafeteria waiting for Esther to die again so she could leave when Klaus found her. “I should not have dragged you here tonight. You were right about this school's history of dances and trouble.” He told her as he sat down across from her.

“It’s fine. It might not have shown, but I was actually having fun.” He gave her a smile and she changed the subject. “I just hope Matt and Jeremy can stop your mother from doing whatever it is she’s trying to do.” She told him as she put her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand. “We all know she wants you dead and if you die...Tyler along with whoever else is part of your sire line dies too.”

“I turned the vampire that turned the vampire who turned Katerina.” He told her as he stood up. “You are part of my sire line and I will not let you die.” he walked out.

Katie was still sitting there when Bonnie came in and told her that Esther wasn’t fighting her anymore and the barrier was down. “There’s something else you should know.” Bonnie told Katie as she walked past her ready to go home. “It’s about Alaric.” Katie stopped and turned back to her. “Ester turned him into an original vampire and he’s not going to complete the transition.” Katie felt tears pool in her eyes. “We’re all going to the cemetery to tell him goodbye, you should come with us.” Katie swiped her hand over her cheek, wiping away a tear that slipped, and nodded.

When she got to the cemetery she saw that practically everyone was there. Elena, Jeremy, Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Tyler, Matt, and some woman that Katie had never met before were all standing around outside the tomb Alaric was in. Alaric walked out of the tomb and took them all in with tears in his eyes. As his eyes landed on Katie, leaning on a statue beside Matt she couldn’t help walking over to him. He opened his arms for her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You’ll always be my favorite teacher.” She told him through her tears.

He laughed and pushed her back a little. “And you’ll always be my favorite and best student.” He told her as he wiped her tears with the back of one of his fingers.

“Good bye, Alaric.” She told him as she turned and walked away from everyone.

She didn’t know where she was going when she got into her car; she just knew she couldn’t go home yet. After thirty minutes of aimless driving she ended up at the Mikaelson mansion. Deciding that she ended up there for a reason she got out and let herself inside. “My survival will haunt you through Eternity.” She followed Klaus’ voice to find him looking down on his mother lying in a coffin. “You will never destroy me!” feeling her there he asked. “What do you want?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just…I was driving and I ended up here.” He turned and looked at her with angry eyes. "I’ll go.”

He noticed her reddened eyes and tear streaked cheeks. “Stay.” he told her quietly. So she walked into the room and around all the open empty coffins to the one Rebekah was in. A dagger was lying on the table at the head of her coffin. “So what exactly happened to her tonight?”

“My guess is my mother fooled all of us into thinking she was dead by taking over Rebekah’s body. When she no longer had a use for it she had someone dagger her so she could jump back into her original body.” He told her then walked out of the room full of coffins.

“I think I hate witches just as much as I hate this town.” Katie sighed as she followed him to the kitchen where he grabbed a bottle of alcohol and poured her a drink and one for himself.

“You forget, you wouldn’t be alive right now if your witch friend hadn’t linked you to Elijah.” He pointed at her with his hand that held his glass as she sat down in the barstool across from him and picked up the glass that he slid to her.

“Yeah, and look where that got me.” She commented with a motion around her.

“Sharing a drink with a friend?” he asked playing stupid.

“Stuck in a world of pain and misery. Of one disappointment after another…of lies and hollow words and meaningless promises. I don’t even know why I’m still in this town.” She told him then threw back the drink and pushed the glass across the bar to him.

“You’re still here because you’ve never lost sight of your true goal.” He told her as he poured her more and slid the glass back to her. “Graduation then med. school.”

“That’s the funny thing.” Katie pointed at him then dropped her hand to the bar and picked up her glass. “Elijah left me because he didn’t want me to die before I accomplished my dreams. Now I don’t see the point of it all. My dreams mean nothing if I have no one to share the victory of accomplishing them with.”

“I would argue that they mean more because you accomplished them all by yourself.” He told her then took a drink.

“How can you encourage me to be alone when you yourself can’t even stand the thought of it?” she asked then through back her drink and pushed it across the bar to him. “I mean, isn’t that why you want Elena alive? So you can use her blood to sire a back up family when your blood family fails you?” he set his drink on the bar and blinked at her. “I’m not judging, just sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. I apologize.”

“Maybe you should slow down.” He pointed out not giving her a refill.

“I don’t want to slow down. I want to get so drunk that I can no longer feel my face much less the weight that is constantly sitting on my chest.” She told him as she hopped down off the stool, walked around the bar, grabbed the bottle and looked him in the eyes as she pressed the rim to her lips and took a large drink.

“You really think that’s a good idea?” he asked as he watched her move the bottle away from her wet lips then wipe her hand over them.

“Probably not.” She told him then turned her back on him and walked off, taking another drink as she did. He followed her to his studio where she started looking at the paintings on the wall. “I don’t know anything about art. So I’m just going to ask, how many of these did you do and how many are by famous artists?”

She took a drink as he walked over to stand next to her, “They are all mine.” He answered then took the bottle from her and took a drink. “The famous ones are scattered throughout the house.”

“Huh.” Was all she said as she turned around and walked over to the couch that sat in the middle of the room and sat down. "So why do you like to art?"

He walked over and sat down beside her, propping the bottle up on the arm of the couch. "Art, painting in particular, is a metaphor for control." He answered and she gave him a look that said, 'I'm interested, please keep talking'. He tried to pass her the bottle, but she surprised him when she waved him off. "Every choice is mine. The canvas...the color… As a child I had neither a sense of the world nor my place in it, but art taught me that one's vision can be achieved with sheer force of will. The same is true of life."

She felt the same way about her poetry, every word choice was up to her, a puzzle of her own creation. But she wasn't ready to tell him about that part of herself. So she kept the topic on art. "I had to take a couple of art classes in school, but our art teacher was a major pot head so we didn’t actually learn anything other than the ninja turtles are all named after famous artists. As long as we were quiet and did something even close to art we passed.”

“Please tell me you did not glue macaroni to a piece of paper and call it art.”

She laughed. “I’m not a three year old. I colored in an adult coloring book.” She told him with her chin held high and he smiled then closed his mouth deciding to keep his comments to himself. She laughed a little at his reaction. “I passed that’s all I cared about at the time.” She held her hand out for the bottle. He gave it to her and she took a drink then handed it back to him.

She pulled out her phone and unlocked it to see what time it was only for her eyes to land on the picture of her and Elijah after the ball. She couldn’t bring herself to change it yet. Her hand went to the infinity sign that still hung around her neck.

Knowing she was thinking about Elijah, Klaus plucked the unlocked phone out of her hand, took a picture of one of his more abstract paintings and made it her background. Now she didn’t see Elijah’s face every time she used her phone. He had sat back down on the couch and was handing it back to her when Rebekah came into the room. “What happened?” she asked with a tired look at the two of them.

“Excuse me for a minute, love.” Klaus told her then walked out of the room with Rebekah.

Katie wandered over to the table that had drawings scattered across it. Eventually she came across the one Klaus had drawn of her in her ball gown. She was looking at it when Klaus came back. “Why did you draw this?” she asked, holding up the picture as she turned to him.

“Because I find inspiration in beauty and it is no secret that I think you are beautiful.” He answered as he took the paper from her and set it back down on the table behind her. “And smart, relatable, strong, brave, honest, loyal, understanding, non-judgmental-”

“Stop.” She told him as she looked down at the floor. “Just…stop trying to make me feel better about myself when I know there has to be something fundamentally wrong with me.”

“Katie,” he stepped into her and hooked his finger under her chin, pushing her head up but she didn’t look at him. “Look at me, Sweetheart.” She lifted her eyes to his. “You…are a uniquely incredible woman.”

“If I’m so incredible why do I always end up alone?” she asked.

In that moment all he wanted to do was kiss her, take her to his room and show her just how perfect he thought she was, but he also knew that after everything she had been through in the past few months, despite the fact that she had flirted back with him tonight, her heart was hard as stone and it wouldn’t change anytime soon.

He sighed as he moved his hands to her hips and leaned down, his face just a few inches from hers. “I wish I could assure you that you are not alone and you never will be, but you do not need to be force fed any more lies.” She bit her lip to keep from crying and nodded. When he tilted his head slightly she thought he was going to kiss her, but instead, he pressed his lips to her cheek. “Goodnight, Katie.” He let her go and left her alone.

Not feeling like going home she grabbed the bottle of half drank alcohol and headed to the kitchen. Rebekah came in and found her eating a pint of strawberry ice cream she’d found in the freezer amongst other flavors she couldn’t stomach. “Sorry, I raided your stash.”

“It’s fine. I have plenty.” Rebekah told her as she grabbed a pint of buttered pecan then shut the fridge and grabbed a spoon. “I’m sure we could both use it after tonight.” she popped off the lid and threw it in the trash. “I’m sorry about your teacher. He seemed like a good guy.”

“He was. I’m sorry about your mom.” Katie answered as she played with the pink, slightly melted ice cream with her spoon.

“Are you staying here tonight?” Rebekah asked with a look at the clock.

Katie shrugged. “I don’t really feel like being alone in my house right now.”

“Well, you know where your room is at and I’m sure Nic won’t care if you stay.” Rebekah told her then started walking away, taking her ice cream up to her room. “Goodnight.”

“Night.” Katie called back. She grabbed the bottle of rum and took a drink then headed upstairs, grabbed a tank top and shorts and headed to the bathroom. After showering she laid down in bed and tried to go to sleep, but the way Klaus looked at her when he told her he intended on setting her ablaze, the feel of his hands on her while they danced, when he kissed her cheek after he killed Mikael, when he'd kissed her in this house before it had been renovated and when he kissed her cheek tonight filled her mind. The memories played in her head over and over until finally she sat up and brushed her fingers through her damp hair with an aggravated sigh.

She slipped out of bed and put on a satin robe then left the room and went out back to the garden that now had bright flowers where dead rose bushes had once been, taking a walk in the night air to clear her head. It worked for the most part, but on her way back to her room she noticed the light on in the parlor and her feet took on a mind of their own. They brought her to Klaus sitting on the couch, a sketch pad in his hand.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” she asked getting his attention and he snapped the book closed before she could see what he was drawing. With suspicious eyes she leaned on the back of the couch, putting her head next to his, looking at the book in his hand over his shoulder. “What were you working on?” she asked as she reached for the book, but he tucked it under his leg where she couldn’t get it. She gasped exaggeratedly, "Was it something dirty?”

“A little.” He answered, peaking her interest given her recent thoughts about him.

“Show me?” she asked.

He looked at her over his shoulder “No.”

“Is it Caroline?” she asked.

He scoffed. “No.”

“Please show me?” she asked with her best puppy dog eyes and a quiet laugh left his lips as pulled the book out from under his leg and opened it. She wrapped her arms around him and held the book in front of him. He looked at the book as she took in the drawing of one of the photos he’d seen of her on her phone. She realized that this was finished and not what he had been working on. So she flipped to the front of the book and found a sketch of her in the dress she wore to the homecoming dance. On the next page was just a picture of her face and shoulders, every detail was spot on. As she continued to flip through the book the pictures, that started off innocent, became more and more revealing until she came to the unfinished one at the end, a sketch of her and Klaus in her bed. He was nude sitting up on his knees with her in his lap, her long legs wrapped around him. His arms wrapped around her hid her breasts from view. Klaus noticed that her breathing changed and he couldn’t tell if she was pissed off or turned on. She closed the book and tossed it onto the coffee table then leaned further over the couch and slid one hand to hold the side of his neck and the other over his cheek, turning his head toward her. His eyes met hers a split second before she pressed her lips to his.

He instantly kissed her back, catching her bottom lip between his. Wanting a better angle he turned putting his back against the arm of the couch with his legs stretched across it then wrapped his arm around Katie’s waist, easily lifted her over the low back of the couch, never breaking the kiss, as he laid her on top of him. She braced herself with her hands on the leather arm of the couch behind him, lost in his kiss and the feel of his hands untying her robe. She pulled back and watched his face as he pushed it down her shoulders revealing that she wasn’t wearing a bra under her spaghetti strap tank top. He couldn’t resist slipping his hands up her shoulders then over her chest and cupping her breasts in his hands. A hum left her lips and pleasure shot through her when he pinched her nipples over the fabric making him chuckle as he let go of one of her breasts and pulled her back down to kiss him.

“Oh bloody hell!” Rebekah’s voice pulled them back down to reality and Katie tucked her face into Klaus’ neck, too embarrassed to look at Rebekah. Klaus on the other hand glared daggers at her. “How many rooms are there in this house?”

“Go away, Rebekah.” He told her aggravated.

“Gladly, get a room next time so I don’t feel like stabbing my eyes out. Yeah?” She told him then turned and walked away.

When Katie heard Rebekah’s stomping footsteps disappear upstairs she pulled her face out of Klaus’ neck and looked him in the eyes. Deciding that she wasn’t going to let Rebekah’s interruption ruin her night she stood up and held her hand out to him. He took it and let her lead him to her room. “Are you sure about this?” he asked as he watched her shut the door.

“All I’m sure about anymore is that I have been nothing but miserable since Elijah left. And tonight, when I was feeling lost and aimlessly driving around because I didn’t want to go home to a house that is filled with a thousand haunting memories, I ended up here.” She slipped her hands up his chest and held the sides of his neck. “I no longer believe in love nor do I want it. I do however,” she grabbed one of his hands in both of hers and started kissing his fingertips, “want your sexy hands to touch every inch of my body…” She brushed her lips over his fingertips then kissed his pointer finger, slipped it into her mouth and looked him in the eyes as she slipped it out, “and for you to let me feel every inch of yours.”

A heavy sigh left his parted lips as he smashed them into hers. A moan bubbled up from her throat when his tongue found hers. He grabbed her sides, picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. As his lips attacked hers she wrapped her arms around his neck and he whooshed her back, pressing her against the wall. A growl left his lips as he attacked her neck with kisses and nibbles, pulling another moan from her lips.

When she pushed at the hem of his shirt he pulled away and looked into her eyes as he pulled it over his head and she did the same with her tank top. Desperate to have his lips back on her she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him to her catching his bottom lip between hers.

When she lightly bit his lip he moaned and whooshed them over to the bed, grabbed her hands from around his neck and pinned them down next to her head. A mixture of kisses and rough nibbles were trailed all over her neck and chest before he finally let go of one of her hands to cup her breast. She rolled them over and started undoing his belt, button and zipper.

As soon as she was done he rolled them back over losing his pants in the process then tugged her shorts and panties down her hips, tossing them haphazardly to the side. Wanting to see what he had envisioned in the drawing he sat up on his knees, running his hands down her thin sides over her curvy hips to grip her legs and wrap them back around him, admiring the sight before his eyes. Knowing what he wanted, she sat up. As she did he slid his big hands up her back until his palms were pressed to her shoulder blades.

She wrapped her arms around his torso and lightly ran her fingertips over his back making him sigh as he looked into her eyes and rested his forehead on hers. After a few seconds she noticed his gaze fall down to her chest and a smile spread over her lips. He looked back up at her with a smile of his own as he slid one of his hands around to her stomach then up, pausing when his thumb and pointer finger outlined the underside of her breast. He tilted his head, brushing her nose with his before he pressed his lips to hers.

A satisfied sigh slipped from his lips when she kissed along his jaw to his neck where she bit him without breaking the skin. His hand moved up, cupping her breast as he lightly pinched her nipple pulling a little whimper of pleasure from her as her head fell back and eyes slipped closed.

He watched her bite her bottom lip as she picked her head up and opened her eyes, looking into his as she grabbed the sides of his neck. Needing to taste her again he kissed her, his lips massaging hers before his tongue found its way into her mouth pulling a moan from her. Their hands explored each other as they made out.

Eventually when they both needed more Klaus slid his hands down her back, grabbed her butt and picked her up. Knowing what he was about to do she pulled back and looked into his eyes as he slowly lowered her down on him.

They both sighed in satisfaction then pressed their foreheads back together not breaking eye contact as he started moving her up and down. Eventually he laid her back and kissed her chest while one of her hands gripped his hair and the other gripped his back. “Klaus.”

His name rolling off her lips in a breathy moan nearly pushed him over the edge and he pulled away from her breast and looked her in the eye. Seeing the lust and pleasure in them let him know she was just as close as he was. “Let go for me, Sweetheart.” His whispered words were all it took to send both of them spiraling off into an intense state of pure pleasure.

As they came down from their high, both still breathing hard, she tucked her face into his neck and kissed it. After a minute he rolled onto his side, sat up, grabbed the sheet from the foot of the bed and pulled it up over them. When he looped his arm around her and pulled her into his chest she laid her head on his bicep and pressed her palms to his chest, content to cuddle in silence. But after ten minutes of he began to worry. “If you do not say something soon I’m going to assume you regret what just happened.”

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “I definitely don't regret what just happened.” she told him quietly with content smile and a shake of her head. “I’m just…still enjoying it.” He gave her a curious look. “At any given moment of any day my mind is racing ninety to nothing and here recently my mind has been a very dark, self loathing place.” He brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek, knowing what she was talking about all too well. “But in moments like this…my mind is tranquil. It may be weird, but I enjoy the calm of after just as much as the storm of during.”

“You…are a very interesting woman.” He told her as his eyes traveled her face. He called her interesting, but her mind suddenly went into overdrive and replaced the word with a thousand different ones all muttered in her grandfather’s hateful voice. She couldn’t tell the voice that he was wrong this time. Damon, Tyler, Elijah now Klaus all within a year's time? She was throwing herself around like a common whore. She frowned and dropped her eyes to his chest.

To silence the voice and get her head elsewhere she started kissing his chest, pulling a sigh from him when she kissed his nipple then a chuckle from him when she playfully bit it. She decided then that she liked the sound of his deep relaxed laugh and pulled away to look into his eyes. He hooked his fingers under her chin and ran his thumb over the corner of her mouth then looked at her eyes.

She grabbed his hand and pressed their palms together taking in the size difference. Thinking about his slightly obsessive drawings she propped her head up with her hand and elbow and asked, “So, how long have you been working on that sketch book?”

“Pretty much since you walked into that gym on senior prank night with a fire in your eyes and an I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude.” He answered. “Then seeing those pictures on your phone didn’t help nor did the noises that floated down the hall to my room when you were with Elijah. I’ve got to admit, I’m a little jealous I didn’t get those same wall shaking moans from you.”

“I doubt you ever will.” She answered, remembering blood sharing with Elijah.

“I’m not sure if I should take offense or accept the challenge.” He told her with a slight glare.

A cheeky grin brightened her face, her fingertips slipping up his arm and over his collarbone as she looked him in the eyes and whispered, "I think we would both enjoy it more if you accept the challenge." Her pointer finger slipped under his chin as she caught his lips with hers. His hand gripped the curve of her waist as the kiss deepened then slowed. When it broke he gripped her hip, slid his hand down to her thigh and pulled it over his hips, letting her feel and see by the look on his face what would happen if she kept teasing him. She laughed. "Seriously though, that wasn't meant to be a blow to your ego. My link to Elijah tends to enhance certain things.”

“Then maybe I should find a witch and have them link us.” he told her with a devious smile.

“Please, for the love of god, don’t.” she told him with an eye roll as she pushed his shoulder for him to lay on his back so that she was sitting on his lower stomach. “Because of that stupid link there have been times when I didn’t know what was organic and what was magic and I told myself it was all real because I desperately wanted it to be. But I no longer want head over heels, whirlwind, short lived, magically enhanced love that consumes me.”

“Then what do you want?” he asked, looking her up and down, admiring her naked body.

“This.” She fell forward bracing herself on her hands on each side of his head. “You. Real.” she kissed his cheek, “Raw.” the side of his neck, “No promises.” his collarbone, “No lies.” the hollow of his neck, “No expectations.” the center of his chest, “Just two people,” she bit his pec next to his nipple, "who fancy each other," then pecked him on the lips and looked into his blue eyes, "having fun." As she sat up, she slipped her hands down his chest settling them on his sides then looked at his face. “If that’s okay with you and you can handle the three no's of course.”

“That is more than okay with me, Sweetheart.” She gave him a look that told him to say out loud that he agreed to her terms. "You have been burned by promises and lies in the past and I do not wish to cram you into a mold of who I think you should be." He told her with a pointed look. "So no promises, no lies, no expectations. Only fun." He told her as he hooked his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her down to him, kissing her deeply and passionately. When the kiss broke he rolled over onto his side and propped his head up on his hand, looking at her. “I find you…" He started ghosting his fingers up her arm in thought.

"Weird?" She asked because that's what everyone always said about her.

"Intriguing." He finished as his fingertips moved lightly across her chest. "You were willing to die in the place of Elena's aunt even though you had everything to live for…you weren’t scared to die.” He told her with a confused shake of his head “You've also never been scared of me.” He grabbed her thigh and pulled her leg back up over his hips.

She slid her hand over his shoulder. “You’ve completely and utterly terrified me.” she absentmindedly drew invisible swirls over his arm with her fingertips.

“I stabbed you in the back and broke your neck that night. How can you even stand to be in the same room with me?” he asked. He wasn't complaining by any means, but he couldn't help being curious.

“I have an uncanny and very stupid, ability to over look the bad in people and only focus on the good.” She answered with a shrug. “I’ve learned over the past year or so that it’s a little too easy for me to turn a blind eye to the horrible things people do.” She looked at her fingertips slipping lightly over his arm. “And if I’ve learned anything since senior prank night, it’s that I am drawn to you.”

“And what good do you see in me that draws you in.” He asked as he slipped his hand over her hip, to her fleshy rear.

She looked up at him with a frown. “I don’t know what draws me to you…I don’t think it’s necessarily anything good or bad…” She paused, thinking about what she wanted to say. “But I know why I can’t hate you like my ex friends do.” He gave her a look that asked her to keep talking. “When I look at you…I see an innocent version of you. He has been rejected, abused, hurt and thrown away far too many times and it’s caused him to be wrapped in a thick cocoon of anger, distrust, paranoia and hatred.” She told him and he blinked rapidly as if to hold back tears. “I see you…as mirror image of myself, but your side of the reflection has far more cracks, chips and complexities that I know I can not even begin to understand.” She looked down at her hands on his chest for a moment, feeling like she wasn't making any sense, then back into his blue eyes. “So if I hate you…it feels like I hate myself and who I could very easily become.” He just stared at her with wide eyes and when several long seconds passed she was sure she had gone too far…said too much and pissed him off. But he surprised her and pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that quickly deepened and turned passionate before he gripped her leg that was still over his hip and turned onto his back, taking her with him and letting her take the reins this time...

A/N: This is my favorite chapter to date and there are 50+ chapters to this story so far...Please tell me what you think. I love feedback. And I appreciate those who've recently expressed how much they like this story. :-)

#damon salvatore #elijah mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #niklaus mikaelson #damon x oc #elijah x oc #klaus x oc #damon salvatore x oc #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson x oc #damon x oc fanfiction #elijah x oc fanfiction #klaus x oc fanfiction #the vampire diaries fanfiction #the vampire diaries x oc #tvd #tvd fanfiction #the originals #the originals fanfiction

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storysofmyown · 4 years

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Obey me! Scarred, Chap. 13

Plot:It’s time for the next step in Diavolo’s plan to unify the realms. But, in order to work, the demons would be subjected to confront their worst fears, and in some cases, who they are.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of wounds, death, self hate, manipulation.

Word count: 6,076

There was a thunderous silence that enveloped the house of lamentation. The feelings of insecurities, sadness, and danger that could be felt at the brink of the territory was enough to intoxicate and leave a dark mark within anyone close by. And all of them knew it. All I them knew just how badly they were doing. Each one locked withing their own safe heaven, locked doors of muffled screams and yells of isolation as Mc sat in their bed, heart put at ease by the banishment of God from the devildom. The being could never set foot in the devildom unless permission from the current king was granted, this should have put Mc’s mind at ease as well. But the moment each of the doors closed slowly, or with bangs, the moment Mc took in the notice of how much silence took place of the usual vivid house…their heart sank. Not a word had been spoken at their way home. Them all too focused on helping the injured family that they didn’t process at all. But Mc saw the curtain of tears that was being held back in each of the demons eyes.

Mc sat on their bed, the screams of pain of the demons resonating in their mind just as much as the sight of Asmodeus burned face, Beel’s stab wound, and the contorted pain that was depicted in each of the demons faces the moment they thought Mc was going to due at the hand of their father. And who could blame them…who could blame them from pausing their feelings long enough until they were somewhere, they could…breath…but could they breath right now? God had stepped in their house, had gone trough each and every single one of their minds, dissecting their fears to perfection, how were they supposed to breath in a space that had been tainted by the blood dripping figure of their father…

Mc groaned for the seventh time since they arrived at their room. Unease bothering them with every second, left to the imagination what the demons might be doing…They needed to check up on them, even it was just outside their door to make sure that they were breathing…even just that would be enough for Mc. Every step they took from their room up the stairs was like walking to a cemetery. And as their steps echoed in the seemingly empty hall, Mc saw, right in front of Lucifer’s room, the demon sitting on the floor, a blank expression on his face as a sole wing covered in bandages moved ever so slightly. The demon didn’t seem to notice Mc, or perhaps he had and chose not to address them, whatever it was, the demon didn’t react at all when Mc sat beside him, back against the wall, face turned in his direction as the man seemed to be lost in his thought, and he certainly was. His hair was messy and for a moment Mc thought that perhaps he was devoid of all emotion…but then he faced them. And in those red eyes that had threatened to kill them so many times before, Mc saw the pure fear and sadness he felt.

“…he was right…” Mc did not say anything. They had to stop themselves from ripping those thought out of Lucifer. They just sat, and listened, because they would rather listen to Lucifer scream for endless hours as he poured out all those thoughts and everything that had always plagued him. They would rather see the man cry like never, than from him to deny all those feelings that were eating him alive. Inside, the demon was completely crumbling down with every passing second, as the words of his father slowly but surely made their home in his heart. “…I still expect to see her smile when I open my eyes…”

And the silence remained…it remained for exactly one second more, because sometimes we just need time to understand what is happening…and Lucifer had just realized just how broken his family was. The silence remained for just one second more…before the sobs of Lucifer as he covered his face with his hands broke this tormented silence that had made itself at home in their minds.

Within closed door and abysmal darkness, hidden behind mountains of knowledge and pledges of self-worth, corroded by doubt and unsure if he could even consider himself one of their own, in bed laid a demon. A demon full of rage, hate, despise, wrath, but underneath all…sadness. In the back of his mind words of displeasure being repeated one after the other. Flashes of his family and the sweet smile of a woman he never meets plagued him. What was once meant to be a sanctuary where he could be himself had turned into a prison he built slowly over the years, a prison that no matter what he did or who reached it could not come down, because he had made sure it didn’t. Now he was being faced by dangers within the wall of his own prison and the young demon had never felt so helpless. The monster that had plagued him for years had finally reached to him and were making sure he knew of their presence.

Over and over God’s voice asked the same question. Again, and again and again and he didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to think about how different he was from his family. He didn’t want to think about the implications of his birth or the way the others had always treated him. He didn’t want to think about his childhood and how behind every laugh and smile and fun moment behind the eyes of the demons he called family there had always been doubt towards him or sadness about their sister. He hated it. He hated it so badly, he hated being different, he hated not having ever been with his family when they were happy in the celestial realm. He hated wanting that. He hated the way they all pitied him, he hated having to hate things with his entire beings but most importantly…he hated himself…but what did that even mean? How could he hate himself when he didn’t even knew who he was…

Who really are you, Satan?

Those words…over and over, and over again, ripping his heart to pieces. How was he supposed to know that?

Who really are you, Satan?

He was someone…he had to be. No matter how they looked at it Satan had to be someone and he knew it…right?

Who really are you, Satan?

Because it just made sense, there was no way he was no one. He had knowledge and a history, he had people around him, so he had to be someone…he needed to be someone but-

Who Really Are You, Satan?

“…who really are you?” He questioned, now in front of a mirror as he looked at himself and past himself, kneeled down as a feeling he was used to hid seethed out of him as tears decided it was time for them to plague him.

The state of himself surprised him…when had he broken the mirror? That didn’t matter, what laid beyond the mirror was far more broken than the hundreds of fragments on the floor…when was the last time he cried…when was the last time he was anything other than the condescending bookworm that always had a quick response and a sharp tongue to everyone in his family…to everyone around him…whatever he was…if he was anything at all…he hated it…he hated it so much…

There was only darkness surrounding him. The noise had died down, his own breathing had slowed to an inaudible level. Hands no longer shaking as they were wrapped around his neck. He could still feel the phantom ache of God’s hands wrapped around his neck as he starred into his eyes and made Leviathan fear for his own life. Only twice in his life had he ever felt that scared, when the war took place, and when God confronted him alone that one time…and in those scenarios he was still the week little brother, the one that needed protection. He was the laughing matter of the family, Grand Admiral Leviathan of hells Navy, yet a weak pathetic demon that couldn’t fight off God and ended up getting reverted to his angel form…how was he supposed to be the third born?

He was weak, if it hadn’t been for Mc’s help and the others God would have been able to get out of the weak trap he had set him on, and possibly kill them all…or worse, because as an angel there were flashes of light were he could see himself attacking those he loved…attacking his family…why was he so weak…how had he let God take control of him like that? Leviathan took a deep breath s his eyes were focused on the aquarium were Henry was peacefully swimming, his eyes suddenly focusing on his own reflection starring back at him. The tired eyes and the dried blood, the hand wrapped around his neck…which when moved, gave away to purple bruises which every time he looked at all he could hear was the diabolical laugh of God and remember those glowing eyes…

Leviathan closed his eyes and took a deep breath…but all he saw was God standing in front of him, the feeling of God humiliating him, the lack of air and the way the coldness had made him shrink in himself as God manipulated and hurt him in ways that Leviathan had been suffering for so long…the repeating form that mocked him of the demons, the bag hitting the floor, his ears ringing as his knees gave out, breathing accelerated…he hated his father…he hated that Lucifer was right by worrying about him so much, because he had a reason to worry. After all, Leviathan was weak…of course Lucifer would put someone to be his guard so he would not go and get himself killed. Lucifer didn’t trust that he could stand on his own and Leviathan knew he was right!

But that did not mean it didn’t hurt. That didn’t mean he hated the way everyone saw him and the way God had taken advantages of all those insecurities and fears that Leviathan had tried so hard to escape. He hated the way his hands were shaking in that moment and how he couldn’t do anything for himself. Even Mc was stronger than him when they had magic and he was supposed to be one of the damn ruler of hell?! He hated how his family knew all of this and looked for ways to protect him, he hated they had all the reason in the world to do so…but most of all…but worst of all, he hated himself…

“-mon!” Mammon heard the echo of a voice. It was calling him, but there was something holding him from the inside that did not let him recognize the voice. “ma…MMON ple…ASE!” The fading voice begged harder, why were they calling him? Furthermore, where was he? There was something holding him down, not letting him get up as he wanted, a feeling of chains pulling him down, chains that were growing weaker as the voice became more and more present. “Hear me denizens of the darkness…” …wait…Mammon recognized that voice. “…you who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it…” Yeah…of course he recognized that voice, how could he not.

“…Mc?” Mammon tried to call out, but his voice was that of a ghost.

“Hear me and do as I command.” He started to struggle against the chains, who even if weakened, they still held him down. Now, it was a race of who was the weakest one, if Mammon or the chains, the demons kept struggling trying to break free as the voice of the human he had grown so fond off finished the incantation. But nothing, he still had not managed to break free, he was still being subjected to whatever punishment was this. For a moment he contemplated giving up…maybe that way everyone would be happier without the troublemaker to cause more problems.

But as he was thinking that the chains were getting weaker and weaker, then another voice came in. A voice that could kill with the amount of fear it inflicted on those he claimed to love. The voice of his father as the decorated that it was time to deal with the human.

“No…No, I won’t let you!” Mammon gritted his teeth. Pulling on the chains who still refused to brake as he screamed for them to realize. He needed to be quick, he needed to save them. He may not had been the best oldest brother or even a good demon but this…he was not about to let anyone else get hurt. The chain broke…and as the sound of the pieces hit the floor, Mammon’s eyes snapped open, just in time to see his father send a lightning bolt in Mc’s direction, who was just awaiting it, who was just ready to accept it. “D-damn it” He whispers, as he launches himself at Mc’s body, either to shield them or some them out of the way, but as his body was meant to collide with Mc’s, they disappeared.

Mammon stumbled upwards as the expected action did not take place. He blinked in confusion before he heard a devious voice laughing. Sending chills to every part of his body. He turned around…or maybe the room shifted, but there was a fireplace now and Mc was standing behind an armchair, as God looked at Mammon. The memory immediately being recognized as his heart sank. No…he was meant to protect them…not hurt them.

“…attack them.” Mammon could feel his body moving without his permission as Mc’s scared expression appeared closer to him. His heart beating fast before somehow managing to stop right in front of their face. Claws out, inches away from tarring at their skin as they gazed into his eyes. Their scared expression changed to that of a smirk.

“Are you going to hurt me Mammon? Because you already did.” Blood…blood started spearing on Mc’s body as he watched in horror as claw marks and bite wounds started to appear on Mc’s body, tears of blackness started dripping from their face before slowly morphing into blood, he could hear the sound of bones braking as mc starred directly into his eyes. No…no, no, no, no, no! Please no! He cannot lose anyone else! Mammon closed his eyes, tightly as he begged for the sight to go away. “…Mammon…” The sound of a now distorted voice made him snap his eyes open almost instinctively, Mc was no longer standing in front of him…now they were lying dead on the floor with blank eyes as he stood on a pool of their blood.

“…mc…” His voice was shaking as he looked at the scene, closing and opening his eyes…and the more he reapeated this action the more bodies were seen…those of his family, those of his brothers and even his nephew were laying dead on the floor, all of their dead and blank eyes starring directly at him. Mammon had to choke down a sob, his eyes dancing with the circles that the drops of blood caused, Mammon was shaking at this point. His knees had hit the floor as he closed his eyes and tears fell slowly.

“How pathetic.” Mammon looked up, not knowing what to expect but just wanting to get this over with. The form that appeared in front of him…even his own father would have been better than having those white robes bathed in blood as his own eyes looked down on him. “C’mon on Mammon…we could have all the power and the money in the world…yet…you are so pathetic…” The figure in front of him crouches down, darkness in the eyes that once looked at his family with love before sighing. “Mhm…father, Lucifer…our brother, Satan…even Mc…they all think you are pathetic and a waste of space…and they are right.”

Mammon jolted awake. He could hear the noise of his accelerated heart rate as he breathed in rapidly, barely maintaining composure as he took in the darkness in his room before the flashes of his family dead came again to torment his mind. It didn’t take long before Mammon broke down and was sobbing all alone in his room asking himself how could he be so fucking useless.

Belphegor lied in his bed, looking at his twin between tired eyes and broken pieces of himself, the sight reminded Beel of all the mistakes he had committed, all the ways he had failed everyone in his life. From not being able to save Lilith, from being one of the first demons to be transformed by his father…not being strong enough to keep fighting after the archangel stabbed him…he was surprised how he had yet to cry at all. His back was resting against the wall, eyes locked on Belphie before het let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, forming a fist with his hands as all the thoughts came spiraling back at him.

Deep breath…exhale…inhale…Lilith had come back for just a moment trough Mc…Lilith had looked at them and claimed she loved them…The memories of her smile were always linked with those of her screams of pain as she fell to her death…deep…breath…exhale…inhale… oh…he was crying. A touch to his face and purple eyes meeting those of his twin confirmed it.

Belphegors eyes had been lost as he gazed into the bracelet, his heartbeat having slowed down so much he wasn’t aware of existence any longer, all he could think about was the existence Lilith…o her lack of existence…Belphegor brought the bracelet to his lips, kissing it softly, tears in the corner of his eyes before he heard his brother choke down a sob he wasn’t even aware of. Belphegor looked at Beel with such sadness and pain…how had he neglected his own brother this much? How had he forgotten of his pain once again? Belphegor moved over to his brother slowly, he doubts Beel heard him judging by his expression once he touched his cheek.

“Beel?” Belphegor spoke softly, his voice merely a whisper, if his brother had not been so close, he probably would not have heard him. He just plopped his head on Belphegor’s shoulders… because what was there to say? That he was sorry? That Lilith died because of him? That every night he woke up with tears in his eyes because all he could see was the face of Lilith the moment, he made the decision between his twin and his little sister? That he was guilty of it all? That even as an angel he was victim of the sins that plagued his skin as he watched them share their love for humans while he stayed behind. Didn’t Belphegor already know all of this? Didn’t his brother avoided him because of all of his? Neither of them where aware of when it happened, or who started it, but both were now crying in each other arms, Belphegor sobbed as he held Beel close, unaware of how many times how twin had wished to be held like this when he cried over Lilith’s memories.

“…I miss her…” Beel spoke after a few minutes of only tears being heard.

“I know…” Belphegor sniffled a little, pulling away just enough to catch a glimpse of the bracelets, Belphegor chuckled sadly before taking Lilith’s one off, taking Beel’s wrist and putting it on.

“Belphie…is that?” Beel did not even had time to finish his sentence, recognizing the bracelet immediately, eyes damping with tears once again.

“That way, we will both be connected to her.” Belphegor managed to smile, taking Beel’s pinky in his and making the inner promise of always being there by his brother. Maybe it was Belphegors influence, or maybe even the ache that both felt from the fight and the pain from their wounds, but they fell asleep hugging each other like they used to do, except that now Lilith was not in the middle singing…but they still had each other, they still loved each other just like they loved all the others.

Mc´s words left their throat the moment they saw the demon start crying. The demon that held himself so high and mighty no one thought could be knocked down. The demon that had looked over his family for who knows how long and had always protected them…yet here he was…thinking he had failed those he cares about, his heart being torn open at the realization that he didn’t do enough for those he loved yet not realizing how much he had actually done. It was devastating watching the always prideful firstborn breakdown like that as he cried and was consumed by his own resentment. It took only a few moments for the demon to control himself, looking at the ceiling as the tears left their trail along his cheeks, a devouring silence as Mc saw the expression of the man.

How many times had he cried like this and no one found out? How many times had he hid his feelings of fear for his family behind the carefully crafted façade of a strict older brother who was now in pain at the mere thought of having hurt his family? Lucifer cleared his throat and chuckled dryly, moving his head to the side, and locking red eyes with those of Mc. “I…this is all my fault…I should just go to them and tell them…how sorry I am.” Lucifer closed his eyes…only for his heart to break at the sound of a soft voice speaking through the maze of hate and sadness that had consumed the house.

Lucifer looked at his brother, a twisted knot in his throat as he tried to find a way to confront him. He had wanted to apologize to them…but not like this…he wanted to do it properly…but he had heard. Mc watched from the floor as Lucifer got up, taking a few steps towards Leviathan, who for some reason was glaring at Lucifer, their hands shaking with fear. But the words that came from Lucifers mouth had already took a toll on the envious brother. His glare was sharp and venomous, why would he react like that at his brother saying he was sorry?

“What do you mean you are sorry?!” Leviathans voice was heard echoing through the hall, sounding commanding like never as he locked teary eyes with Lucifer, shattering the demon’s heart even further. “Why are you apologizing?!”

“Leviathan…” There was such a fear and sadness in Lucifers eyes as Leviathan took some steps back, moving away from his older brother. Lucifer just wanted to protect all of them yet here they were…all his brothers and his son were broken…he was broken…how was he meant to fix this?

“Answer my question!” Leviathan was glaring at his brothers, but behind that glare there was no bite nor hate. There was just sadness and desperation for words and explanations to be provided. Why would Lucifer need to apologize for the actions of his father? Why would Lucifer need to blame himself for the actions of the man that had tormented them way before the Celestial War? He should not…unless he felt like he needed to protect his brothers because he knew they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves. Gods words became a storm feeding the insecurities of Leviathan as he basically begged for the world to give him a reason not to loathe himself…as he begged for Lucifer to blame god and not himself because if Lucifer blamed himself then…then that meant that he… “…why are you apologizing?” Leviathans teary eyes meet those of Lucifer…and the little control the demon had left shattered the instant his brother looked at him like that.

“…why do you think Leviathan?” Lucifer scoffed, his demeanor changed at the yelling of his younger brother, hints of a glare could be seen in the man’s expression.

“W-what’s going on?” Satan opened the door to his room, the demons hair gave away just how much he was hiding in as he tried to keep his voice calm and monotone, but for the first time everyone could see trough his carefully crafted masks and feel the panic and sheer desperation the young demon felt as his anger had run out and all he had left was the sadness in that moment, as he looked at his uncle and his father, memories of how he and Mc had to fight them…doubts of he should even be there right now…the young demon’s gaze was meet by the overwhelming anger of Leviathan. “…why are you yelling?”

Satan tried his best to port a blank expression and not let anything show…but everyone could see…and the young demon just felt…exposed. But his mind could not process all those feelings right now…or more like it didn’t want to process them, distracting itself by the situation taking place right outside the jail that was his room. And the fact that his question was ignored only made the unwelcome feeling to grow.

“Don’t give me that! I want an actual answer!” Leviathan ignored Satan’s voice, eyes focused more on Lucifer who looked now at his son, he felt a tug in his heart, knowing how much pain his son must be in given the sheer emotions that were being overflowed by his vulnerable expression at the fight.

Door could be heard opening, first the form of Mammon could be seen walking out of his room, hunched a little, half lidded red eyes as looked at the scene unfold, the usual talkative brother going quiet at the news that Lucifer had apologized, moving carefully towards Leviathan, in an attempt to appease the demon who was close to losing control. Beel and Belphie also had come out of their rooms after hearing Leviathan yelling, surprised expressions at the sudden snap of their older brother who always avoided any type of confrontation.

“…I’m apologizing because thanks to me Father got to all of you!” Lucifer blurted out, anger and sadness, confusion, pain, and disappointment attacked him as he looked back at his brother. “I didn’t protect any of you…”

“…You think we are so weak that we need your protection all the time?! Even if you were there Father would have manipulated us…how weak do you actually think we are?!” Leviathans eyes were shadowed by his hair, his demon form out as his tail swung slowly to his sides, before pulling from Mammon’s hold, who only looked at his younger brother with sadness. “…how weak do you think I am…”

“Lucifer…it wasn’t your fault” Beel’s voice comes in, he was holding hands with Belphegor the whole time, both afraid of letting go and losing themselves in the thoughts and fear, neither of them daring to let go thinking that if they did they would watch the disappear like Lilith had…but even while holding each other up, that didn’t meant either of them could handle what was going on. “Y-you…you don’t have to blame yourself” Beel’s sadness could be felt in the air as mc saw his shoulders shaking lightly.

The sight of his little brother crying broke Lucifer even more. The words not helping at all. How was it not his fault? If he had let go of Lilith so many years ago then perhaps he could have been there for his brothers, if he had been there for his brothers then none of them would feel the way they did…if he had been there for them then perhaps God would not have had any insecurities to exploit of abuse his family. This was all his fault…and the fact that it was Beel the one saying it wasn’t…and that he shouldn’t blame himself…the same anger he felt the night Satan was born corroded his thoughts as he chucked darkly.

“Please Beel, don’t be such an hypocrite, you claim I shouldn’t blame myself, but you still believe it’s your fault that Lilith is dead…” Everyone’s eyes went wide at Lucifer’s voice, Beel’s expression was that of a child being hit for the first time by the person they loved so dearly, his eyes immediately covered in tears as he opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say.

“Lucifer what the hell was that?!” Belphegor shot up, glaring at his eldest brother for having said something like that to Beel, knowing well how the demon felt about the whole situation.

“Y-yeah! There was no need for you to say that Beel was just trying to help.” Mammon’s eyes moved from Belphegor to Lucifer, and then to Mc, his scared expression gave Mc goosebumps as millions of words were stuck in their throats, not knowing what to say to stop the fighting of the demons.

“O-okay how about we calm dow-“

“Shut up, Satan! I am not going to let Lucifer talk like that to Beel!”

“Talk like what?! All I said was the truth”

“…I d-do blame my self for what happe-“

“I don’t care how much you blame yourself! Lucifer still has no right to speak like that to any os us!”

“Its no use Belphegor, all Lucifer sees us as is weak brothers that cant even go out alone”

“Okay guys, we need to calm down. L-lets stop yelling-“

“Mammon stop trying to act all mature-“

“Belphie don’t take it out on Mammon!”

The yelling and screaming was overwhelming. Lucifer, Leviathan and Belphegor were fighting like never before, Leviathan accusing Lucifer of think all of them were weak, Belphegor mad because Lucifer had hurt beel, and Lucifer enraged by the fact that his brothers couldn’t see things his way. Everyone was so…angry, and mad and Satan should be feeling angry as hell but he wasn’t…he wasn’t feeling mad at all. The one thing he was supposed to be…the one thing that was him…he wasn’t feeling it at all. He didn’t even knew when but his hands were covering his ears as Mammon stood in front of him, saying something the demon refused to hear, he could see Beel holding back Leviathan while Belphegor full on screamed at Lucifer. Mc was watching from the side with shocked eyes, a hand holding Lucifers arms, either holding him back or stabilizing him and then…and then there was a crash.

The sound of something broken, it was like the embodiment of their family had come crashing down for milleniums and finally…finally it had hit rock bottom, it was finally broken. The room fell quiet, only for sobs to be heard…sobs coming from the room of the only demon that wasn’t there.

“…Asmodeus’

Lucifer whispered, before basically sprinting to the demon’s room, the rest following closely as he threw the door open, scanning the room looking for his brother. Part of him knew he must be okay, part of him remembered his white eyes and wings when his father reverted him back to angel.

“…Asmodeus?” Mc asked in a soft voice when the demon comes into view, his long bangs attempting to hide the side of his face which was covered in bandages after the burn. The eyes of the human falling on one of the younger demons as he was kneeling in his room, in front of a broken mirror and his bleeding hand.

“Asmo!” Lucifer rushes to his brothers side, kneeling beside the smallest demon, taking his hand to inspect it as the demon refused to look up. The noise of the glass braking had put a stop to all the fighthing outside…but the sight of the demon made mc somehow wish for the fight to come back, for him to look anything else than that broken and sad. “What do you think you are doing?” Lucifers voice is full of desperation as he looks at the spilled blood before he can feel Asmodeus other hand take his, a thumb slowly caressing his as the demon looked up.

Tears in the eye that wasn’t covered in bandages before he gave Lucifer the weakest smile he had ever seen his brother port. Immediately the wave of feelings he felt in that moment made him feel sick as he starred back at his brother, the others feeling like the world outside ha disappeared and like the only thing that mattered right now were the people inside that room, the only ones mattering were those who have been hurt so badly moments ago. The silence was only broken when Asmodeus opened his mouth, a small sob escaping his lips before he could even get a word out, the others walking closer.

“D-do you…do you blame me…f-for being the f-first one father controlled?” His voice was so many things at the same time, a soft tone that awoke immediate tears in the family, a slap on the face which told Lucifer more than the endless yells his mind repeated each night, a gentle hand that proclaimed how everything would be okay. But most of all, it was a reminder, a message…a silent plea. And the worst of all…he was being sincere.

He had heard every word as he gazed at his tormented reflection, the way Lucifer blamed himself, the way Leviathan loathed himself, Beel refusing to acknowledge that it was his fathers fault the fact that Lilith was gone…it got him wondering…was he at fount that everyone else got controlled? If he hadn’t been so weak…then perhaps…perhaps he could have resisted long enough for someone to walk in and that way his father’s plan wouldn’t have taken off. That way his face wouldn’t be burned…that way his family wouldn’t have been put under that sick and twisted control as well. He meant every word…and Lucifer was not about to let another member of his family be corrupted by feelings of guilt.

“…no…I would never blame you” Lucifer finally answered, soft like never in his life. Of course he would never blame any of them, he could never blame beel for not saving Lilith, he could never blame Belphegor for showing Lilith the human world, least of all blame Asmodeus for the actions of God…but here he was…blaming himself…oh the sweet irony.

Then the strangest thing happened, the thing that neither of the demons expected at all. Lucifer chuckled, it was low and barely audible, but very slowly the chuckle transformed into a laugh as he closed his eyes, Mc was confused but…the sight of Lucifers tears falling as the laugh died and his expression shifted to that of a pained one, a sob marking a line between everything as he pulled Asmodeus into a hug, before taking Mammon’s hand, since he was the closest, and bringing him down for the hug as well. Mammon let out a soft yelp at the sudden pull but he fell on his knees beside the two, immediately being hugged by Lucifer as well as he looked at the remaining members of his family who watched in awe, he extended his hand, welcoming them to be even more closer that they were once.

The memory of the first night they came the house of lamentation crossed his mind. The seven of them slept together for none could bare the idea of being apart in that moment…and neither could any of them now, so before long, the seven demons were all hugging into a ball…and for the first time they let their full emotions out. There were sobs and many tears as they held into the other, there was fear and insecurities, feelings of guilt and hate either towards themselves or the being that had caused them all. But there was something even deeper than that, there was something even deeper than the same scars God had inflicted on his sons, and that was the love they had for one another.

Because you could take everything from them, but as long as they had each other…as long as the seven were a family…they could get trough anything. And mc was more sure than ever about it as they joined the hug. They didn’t expect the seven to simply be okay tomorrow, there were many screams, tears and sleepless nights to go trough until they all felt secure again…but for just that one moment, for just that one second as Lucifer held his family and they were all there alive…they felt safe.

So...here it is! The final chapter of Scarred! I am truly sorry for the wait and i know that this chapter is probably not worth the 2-3 month hiatus this fic went trough but I wanted this final chapter to be good...I’m still not totally convinced it gave the vibe that i wanted it to...and I’m pretty sure the narration style changed like at least five times but, i don’t hate this version so. I really hope you guys like the conclusion to this fic and i must thank you all for reading it! So yeah, hope you guys enjoy the final chapter of Scarred and thank you so much to everyone that commented, reblogged or liked it! Stay safe loves!!

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter seven

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Chapter twelve

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #474

“nothing flashed before my eyes / no pretty angels, no bright lights / all i saw was the devil’s soul, & it looked a hell a lot like my own”

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He can be a challenge. He says whatever comes to his mind the moment he thinks it, and it's not always nice. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? My relationship, honestly. It feels like the one thing that's going right, but I'm concerned if I don't take care of the things that aren't going so well, that they will creep into my relationship and start breaking it down, ex. not having a job. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To just keep pushing and not give up on life, and that it is full of phases, be them good, bad, or bland. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. Do you have a “one who got away”? I don't feel like that anymore. If you were in a supoerhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Because I like to help people, I'd like to be the hero, BUT villains are waaaay cooler. If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Frightened, no. I LOVE mice. I'd of course be startled and concerned about it getting into food, but I'd just calmly find a way to get it outside. Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? I used to LOVE getting those little magic kits when the Scholastic fair came around! I had I want to say three and was pretty good at a lot of tricks in them. Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? No. What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? The Internet for sure. Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? No. An allowance for three daughters was something my parents couldn't afford. Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? An amusement park. They're more exciting to me, and somehow water parks seem dirtier with all the little kids and just alksdjlfa;wjke What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? The violin. What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? Probably something at Disney World as a kid, idr. What is something that you would like to learn more about? I ALWAYS want to learn more and more about meerkats. What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom collects owl stuff. Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, except obviously when transferring from certain age ranges, like elementary to middle school. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes, at least once in middle school. I felt SO awful and had to go outside of the classroom to do it while they were reviewing the work. Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I really, really like both. Each are just very pretty in their own right. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Hurricanes or like the mere chance of a centimeter of snow. At least once, we've even had such a severe heat advisory that school was called off. If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Can dragons be real? 'Cuz then I wanna meet Clay from Wings of Fire if we could talk, lol. He's so wise and I'm sure would have great knowledge to share about looking at my life from new perspectives. What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? Um, people do NOT tour this city. It's trash. What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? I'm not sure. How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? Everything would change, given I'm always on the computer. Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? Fairy wings, for sure. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I wish SO badly that opossums were domesticated animals, alsdkjfkaljwe. I say enough that I do want to rescue/foster one, though, but I would obviously need a license for that. I would absolutely never just snag one from the wild. What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? We recycle here, don't dare to litter, and I always try to be a decent person that spreads love and hope to other people. Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? Yes. What’s your favorite store at your mall? rue21, I suppose. We have a small mall. Have you ever done a workout DVD? Oh my actual god, this is a THROWBACK. When we were really little, my sister had a BARBIE workout DVD that we watched sometimes. Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Usually Mom, but sometimes me. What song are you currently obsessed with? Absolutely "Bath Salts" by Highly Suspect, ahhhhh- When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I used to go fishing, my dad would always unhook the fish. Do you take any prescription meds? A lot. What happens if you don’t take them? I very rarely forget to take my medicine, but when I do, I experience anxiety and my tremors get worse. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? I hate tea in any way. How often do you honk your horn? I don't really drive, so. I'd be very hesitant to though because I wouldn't wanna piss someone off. Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? That's a hard pass from me, bro. Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? No. Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? I don't remember how frequently, but we did have a babysitter. Both my parents had jobs. If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually pay fucking attention to bullying and do shit about it. Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? "Fun?" Don't know her. What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno. How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? I don't remember. What is your least favorite holiday, and why? St. Patrick's Day because I worry about getting pinched, lol. Pinching even very lightly is surprisingly painful for me. What were some outdoor games you played as a child? Hide-and-seek was my favorite, then my sisters and I made games for on the trampoline and in the pool, etc. Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? I never remember doing that, no. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They're humbling, more than anything. A reminder of how equal we are and that we all end up the same. It's a nudge to cherish life while you have it. Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? My favorite is Ancient Egyptian. Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long-term. My short-term memory is absolutely frighteningly horrid. What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I was very frustrated with just life in general and how horribly I'm failing at it. Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? A bear, probably. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) Yeah, like said spirits. Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I don't know right now. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW you couldn't pay me to. If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? My boyfriend. What was the last new food/drink that you tried? I recently tried jalapeno-stuffed grilled chicken, and a couple days ago I tried this orange/strawberry V8 my mom bought. It was noooot good, which I figured it wouldn't be. That's not a good mix. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Today was fucking awful, and yesterday wasn't exactly peachy either. Have you ever played Sudoku? Yeah, I enjoy it well enough. Do you ever take surveys for money? No; I once signed up for a site like that though because my mom used to do that, but I literally qualified for no surveys with how inexperienced I was and still am with grown-up stuff. Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? I don't have an opinion, and I didn't really as a kid, either. Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I go back and forth, but either way, it has to be a crisp grape or it's just gross. Who was the last person that made you laugh? I was watching a John Wolfe video. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. Who did you last confide in? Girt. Does your car have an alarm? Mom's doesn't. Where was your mom born? New York. What can always make you feel better no matter what? If I'm being completely realistic, nothing. Not every single tactic is fail-proof, especially these days. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Crab legs came to mind first. They are SO mushy and just gross. What is currently happening that is scaring you? My life, bro. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I mean maybe at some point accidentally? I don't remember a specific occurrence.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''bath salts'' by highly suspect

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bluesey-182 · 4 years

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We Have To Stop Meeting Like This - Chapter 11

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / ao3

in case you missed it, i did post an update yesterday so click to link to 10 or to the fic on ao3 to read it :)

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Morning came at a harsh awakening when, besides Jude, Cardan woke with a shout. Jude was instantly alert, looking around the room for any threats while unconsciously grabbing onto Cardan’s hand. When she turned her attention back to him, there was a glazed sort of look in his eyes. Like he wasn’t fully awake, or fully aware.

“Cardan?” Jude croaked, her voice still finding its way back to her after sleep.

“Nightmare,” was Cardan’s only reply. He flopped back down onto the bed and curled onto his side, wrapping his arm around Jude’s waist and gently guiding her back down beside him. She threaded her fingers through his mussed up hair in an attempt to calm the shaking of his body.

“He died yesterday,” Cardan choked, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. But her hands stilled. Cold ice washed its way through her veins.

“Who died?”

“My brother. Balekin. There was a car accident.”

“Isn’t he the one--?” Jude began to ask but cut off. Isn’t he the one that abused you? didn’t really seem like a question you could ask someone.

Nevertheless, Cardan knew where she was going with the question. “Yeah,” he replied. His voice sounded hollow, like everything inside him had been carved out. Jude didn’t really know what to say. I’m sorry? Is that what you said when someone’s abusive brother died? Jude knew better than anyone how complicated family relationships could be yet she still found herself at a loss for words.

“My sisters are arranging the funeral. My dad won’t talk to anyone. It’s all so fucked,” Cardan said. “And I don’t even know why I’m so fucking upset. Balekin was a dick, he made my life hell, but he was my fucking brother, you know?”

“You can miss someone who hurt you,” Jude replied softly.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“What… what can I do?”

“Can you just…,” Cardan trailed off, as if not sure if he should continue.

“Just what?”

He sounded defeated when he whispered, “Stay with me.”

Jude gently squeezed him and he seemed to further melt into her embrace. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They missed classes. Cardan mostly slept. Jude took to wearing Cardan’s t-shirts and workout shorts when her own set of clothes became too dirty to wear. For a week they isolated themselves in his apartment, ordering in food, watching movies in his room that he barely paid attention to. After the first few days, Jude would coax him out of bed for a few hours to watch television in the living room or play video games that he beat her at every time, even though he was barely there to play them. Cardan had become a shell of himself. He only drank water when Jude asked him to, only ate small amounts of food when she offered him a plate. But despite how he’d seemed to crawl away into himself, Jude knew he was grateful for her being there. She could tell it in the way he would grab for her hand and hold onto it like a lifeline. She could tell it in the way he would just look at her for several seconds while he ignored the TV. She could tell it in the way he kissed her without a word.

When the day of the funeral came, Jude woke up to find Cardan sitting at the foot of the bed in the middle of the night. She crawled over to him, the shirt she had borrowed from him riding up passed her thighs, which caught Cardan’s attention enough for him to place his hand on her exposed thigh as she settled in beside him. But then he leaned his head against hers and began to cry like he had that first night. Jude tucked his head against her chest and tried to make soothing sounds as she held him. When he finally spoke, just to say her name, Jude knew what he was asking before he said it.

So in the morning, when they woke up for good, Cardan got ready for the funeral before driving Jude back home for her to put on a black dress and a pair of flats. He was once again a shell of himself as he drove them to the cemetery, but the whole way there he was gripping her hand like he’d drift off to sea if he let go.

It was a cold morning, promising snow, as they made their way across the expanses of lawn to where a group of mourners stood. A few of Cardan’s sisters came to say hello and give him a hug. They asked Jude for her name but nothing else. The rest of his family ignored him, like he was a ghost at his brother’s funeral.

An old man sat in a chair in the front row and at first Jude thought he might be a grandfather. But when he acknowledged Cardan--barked his name, really--Cardan seemed to deflate even more, shrinking to be as small as he could be despite his height. Reluctantly, he slinked over to the man.

“Father,” he grumbled without making eye contact. Jude felt a small bit of shock at finding out this old man was Cardan’s father, not grandfather. But then she looked around her at the age of his older siblings and knew she should have realized sooner. Cardan shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, a sort of pleading, before motioning ever so slightly with his head that she should go somewhere else. There was shame in his eyes and she knew whatever his father was going to say, he didn’t want Jude to bear witness.

That’s how Jude found herself wandering the cemetery. Lost in thought, she didn’t realize where her feet were taking her until she was almost out of sight of Cardan’s family and standing before two gravestones under an oak tree. Without thinking, Jude found herself leaning against the gravestone behind her as she stared at the ones before her.

She jumped at the feel of a hand on the small of her back but relaxed when Cardan’s mane of black hair came into view. They wordlessly leaned against each other for support as Cardan took in the names on the stones before them.

On the left: Justin Duarte.

On the right: Eva Duarte.

“Your parents?” Cardan asked softly. All Jude could do was nod. “What happened to them?”

Jude gave a small, humorless laugh. “I don’t want to add to your sadness, Cardan.”

“You can tell me.” The hand he had rested on her back slid up to gently cup the back of her head. She felt so small with his hands on her, but she also felt a sense of safety in them. “If you want,” he whispered against her hairline as he gently placed a kiss to her skin. She shivered, and not just from the cold.

“Madoc used to work for the FBI. Well he still does, but this was when he was still just a regular agent and not a director,” she began. Cardan looked confused at the change in subject but let her talk without interrupting. “He and my mom met in college and she got pregnant after graduation. Madoc freaked out and ran off, leaving my mom alone with a baby Vivienne and no money to take care of her. But her best friend, Justin, came to the rescue, as he liked to say, and a year later they were married. A few years later, they had twins. They were happy. We were happy. Vivi looked different from Taryn and I but we never questioned it. After our parents died, we found out that she had known the whole time that she had a different dad, and I don’t know why that, of all things, stuck with me. But it did.

It was family game night and we were all stuffed full of junk food. I don’t even remember what game we were playing. I just remember us laughing while the radio played. And then a song came on that my father loved and he grabbed my mom’s hand and began dancing her around the kitchen while us kids pretended to be disgusted by their love but secretly we were wishing to have that same thing one day.” At this point, tears had begun to fall down Jude’s face, though her voice remained steady. Cardan began stroking circles on her back in comfort.

“You don’t have to finish the story,” he said.

“I want to,” Jude whispered. “I’ve never told anyone this before.”

She cleared her throat and continued, “There was this loud bang at the door. I remember all of us froze. The noise continued, and then suddenly we heard the door come crashing in. My mom’s face was completely drained of color and she told Vivi to take us and hide. There was this little hidden door in the wall that led to a tiny pantry we never used except for in games of hide and seek, and the three of us girls crammed into the space. The last time I saw my dad’s face, he was closing the door on us and saying he loved us.

There was shouting. Some terrible noises. It went on for what felt like a lifetime. And then all the noise stopped and there was some sobbing from the other room that didn’t sound like either of our parents. We were all crying too but Vivi had her hands over Taryn’s and my mouths so we wouldn’t be heard. And then there was more shouting as the police came rushing in. We heard a struggle, a gunshot, and then there was nothing but the police talking to each other and into radios and more cars pulling up outside our house.”

Jude fell silent for a moment, trying to catch her breath as the images came back to her. “See, there was a serial killer going across America at the time. He was delusional, thought he was a werewolf, so on a full moon he’d get high off all kinds of drugs and then break into a house and kill the family inside.”

Cardan sucked in a breath of recognition at the story.

“That night,” Jude said, “he chose my family. The FBI had been tracking him for months. It wasn’t until Madoc showed up to the house that he realized who the victims were. And whose child he found hiding in a cupboard in the kitchen. At that point he had remarried, was trying to have kids with his new wife, and when he saw us he thought it was his second chance to be the father he hadn’t been for Vivi. But Vivi never really forgave him for abandoning our mom in the first place. Madoc led us out of the crime scene, told us to cover our eyes. Vivi made me swear I wouldn’t look.”

“You looked. Didn’t you?” Cardan breathed.

“My parents were… torn apart. And the killer was lying face up on the carpet with a bullet through his skull. I could barely recognize my own home underneath all of the blood.”

“Jude…”

“We went to live with Madoc. He tried to be the perfect father to Vivi despite her hatred for him, but he never seemed to know what to do with Taryn and me. The rest, as they say, is history.” Jude felt like there were no words left in her.

“I’m sorry,” Cardan said softly.

All Jude could do was shrug as Cardan wiped away her tears. “I survived,” she managed in a whisper.

After the funeral was over, they went back to Cardan’s house and collapsed in his bed still wearing their funeral clothes. They wrapped around each other quotation marks and fell asleep with their grief as, outside, snow began to fall.

--------

hope you enjoyed!

@goblinwhoships @hizqueen4life @judexcardanxgreenbriar @pilesofriles @velarian-trash @standbislytherin @darlingod @heyheyheylemonade @cloudy-peonies @ireallyshouldsleeprn

#jurdan #jurdan au #my writing #text post #okay to reblog #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the folk of the air

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cyanidefilledcandy · 3 years

Text

I’m about to talk about death, so...

So, last night, I had another dream about my little sister. Oddly enough, I don’t dream about her super often and I was and am both...disturbed and grateful for that.

It’s not unusual for me to dream about dead relatives I was close to. My grandmothers (my paternal and maternal and maternal great grandmother), I dream about frequently. (My paternal grandfather not so much, and that makes me sad and makes me feel like I must not have cared about him enough. ...though, the real culprit is likely memory. He died when I was in middle school; my grandmothers all died when I was in adulthood.)

Usually when I dream about them, it’s like business as usual. It’s literally just mundane life things. We’re just going about our regular lives, and they’re just there like they had been when they were here. We talk a lot of the times, but it’s nothing significant; just regular conversation and they’re....just there.

With my sister, it’s been the complete opposite.

In EVERY dream I’ve had about my sister, she’s been dead. Except for one I had recently, and in the end, she just turned into my niece. And if she looks to be alive, then the dream will remind that she’s dead. Like one I had...

It was another of those mundane dreams where she, my mom, and I were in car driving, and she was in the backseat and we were just bantering. The subject of her pregnancy came up, but again, nothing out of the ordinary. We were just talking about how many issues she had. I jabbed at her that next time she would be in Georgia or a better hospital or just somewhere with better doctors. And she just kind of gave me an incredulous look and was like “WHAT next time?” and I just kind of stopped and was like “....oh right...” Cause she’s dead... And I’m honestly surprised that I thought that.

Again, usually in my dreams about my dead relatives, there’s nothing out of the ordinary to even suggest that they’re dead. And my sister and I used to have back and forths like that frequently, especially when her first child was born. I’d say something like, “When are you having the next one?” and she’d be like “Not.” Or “who?!” So for that to happen...

Maybe it’s because I felt....feel her death harder than any other I’ve experienced in my life...but I hate that even in my dreams, I can’t seem to think of her in any other context. As if there’s no reprieve from this most unfair reality. But last night’s dream was especially weird.

I was with someone...maybe it was my mom, and we drove up to the cemetery. I paused for a moment before getting out of the car. The other person turned to ask me, “Uh...do you know whose grave this is?” as if asking if I was SURE I wanted to get out and look. And I answered in a kind of “duh” fashion. We buried my sister next to my paternal grandparents, so I figured I could pay some respects to both of them. So, I got out and turned to their graves and they were covered by a plastic tent to protect them from the elements. I noticed it looked like a heavy storm was brewing like a hurricane or something. I then looked back to the graves and my sister’s coffin was out of the ground, open, and empty. It also looked like it had been ransacked. The lining in the lid was torn almost off and the was hanging out and getting wet in the muddy ground.

Of course, I was outraged and just as I was about to start a fight with someone, out a small building in the distance (the mortuary I somehow knew), out walks the female mortician who handled my sister, along with my maternal grandmother. They were both carrying my sister back to the coffin.

I instantly relaxed, knowing my grandma wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. The mortician explains that they had to do something... I don’t remember what it was, but it was likely something that would only make sense in a dream. I nodded and waited for them to put her back in. This part is a bit fuzzier, but other members of my family were suddenly there and everyone was trying to prepare her coffin....or something. There were these little cloth dolls of I guess family members and people were trying to figure out which ones they wanted to keep and which ones they wanted my sister to be buried with. I remember they kept exchanging them or something, and they were some kind of collectable? Again, that part is really fuzzy.

The mortician finally puts my sister back and kind of haphazardly drop her in the coffin, like she was too heavy and she just couldn’t hold her anymore. Of course, I don’t like this, but figure I’m no one to criticize someone at their profession. My sister ends up not even fully in the coffin and the bottom padding is missing. She’s also wearing the wig I just bought, which looks amazing on her and much better than the one I ended up picking IRL. And then all of a sudden, she starts convulse every few seconds. Like a twitch or jump of her limbs and eventually, her mouth starts to hang open. Almost like she’s having a seizure.

The mortician or my mom or someone tells me that “Don’t worry. Sometimes dead bodies move involuntarily and it means nothing. I’m annoyed because this is something I already know, even if part of me (I guess my waking mind) knew that she was way too animated for this to just be muscle spasms.

The spasming gets worse to the point that she falls completely out of the coffin. This time however, her eyes open and her mouth is shut (because morticians wire them shut). She keeps convulsing and I’m repeating in my head that “this doesn’t mean anything. this doesn’t mean anything.” But suddenly her head goes back and her eyes are staring at me, desperately and I immediately know a horrible mistake was made.

Have you guys ever seen The Haunting of Hill House? That scene where Olivia has a vision of an adult Nell dead before she rises and desperately tries to beg Olivia to save her...this was very similar to that. She was even dressed in red like Nell was in the show (I had her dressed in red because it was her favorite color). Except my sister looked like she wanted to move and couldn’t. Like her body was too stiff and her mouth was wired shut, so she couldn’t speak and looked like she desperately wanted to.

So, I immediately go “Something’s wrong. We were wrong! She’s alive! Someone help her!” And I had a few people trying to calm me down. They weren’t exactly denying the fact just trying to calm me down. I get more and more frantic and weirdly see some kind of countdown...

And 3, 2, 1, I woke up and my sister was still and silent and I realized I had went through that all in my head. They ended up reburying her and my grandmother stood beside me crying. I hugged her and tried to give her words of comfort. I told her not to worry because her other grandmother and grandfather (the grandmother I was talking to’s husband) and Pepper (our childhood pet) were all looking after her. Again...the grandmother I was talking to is also dead and she died before my maternal grandmother did, so....that was weird...

The next part is a bit fuzzy, but I wound up having a conversation with my sister. We just casually talking about her experience of....dying and being buried? It seemed and felt like one of my other mundane dreams about dead relatives, but I knew very well that she was dead. She told me she was tired of the dolls she was buried with (those weird collectable family dolls) and she said a few other things, and mentioned that she just didn’t have an appetite and some other things where she was just sick and uncomfortable (similar to all the stuff she went through while she pregnant). I told her, “I’m sorry, baby.” And she said a couple other things again very casually before I woke up.

Oddly enough...I felt strangely calm and peaceful when I woke up.

I don’t know if this is common or not, but my dreams MAJORLY affect my mood and usually whatever feeling I was feeling when I was dreaming carries on with me when I wake up. And not JUST when I wake up; it stays as if it happened to me IRL. Just like yesterday, where I had another apocalypse dream where me and my mom were at odds, and I was depressed all day yesterday. Or a major dream I had long ago where my sister got shot and was dying right in front of my eyes and I had to try and carry her to the hospital. I’ll never forget how she looked in that dream....literally dying. Usually when I dream of someone dying, it’s like a movie death. This dream was eerily realistic with how she was dying. ....that dream had me depressed and physically sick for days after, and has stuck with me... (I wasn’t kidding when I said my sister dying was my worst nightmare...)

I guess it was because we were just talking like normal. However, once I thought back on the dream and the strangeness of it, Depression set in fast. Though, it wasn’t so much the dream than I just feel that loss all over again.

IDK...I kind of wanted to document this dream because the strangeness of it, I guess. Some things I think I know what they mean or represent and others are just...weird...

Visiting the grave is obvious... I think the changing of her hair and shoddy state of the coffin is my own insecurities and unsatisfaction with how her burial was handled. Everyone tells me I did a good job with picking out everything, but I wasn’t satisfied at all with how she looked and I keep imagining if by some miracle I DO see her after death, that she’d have a few choice words. ...jokingly and good-naturedly, of course, but still...

I didn’t realize it until after I woke, but the convulsions she had I thought looked seizure like...and I wonder if that’s what my mind thinks happened in her last moments... I wasn’t there, but my mom just describes it has blood coming out of her eyes, nose, and mouth. That wasn’t present in the dream, but she also says that when she went, my mom couldn’t get her mouth to close...and the dream, her mouth was open when the convulsions started.

When she falls to the ground and looks at me desperately to help....I think it harkens back to a thought I had when she first died that maybe she wasn’t really dead, but in a deep coma and she would wake up in the coming days. Even after we buried her, part of me still held on to the belief that she wasn’t really dead and had the horrible idea of her waking up in her coffin under a ton of concrete and couldn’t get out (which has always been a deep dark fear of mine for myself). It’s a dumb thought...not only was she autopsied, but embalmed. I know it’s dumb, but when I said I went through every stage of grief at once, I mean it... Part of me is still going through all of those stages at once...Part of me is still searching desperately for a way to go back and save her from this fate...

Denial and bargaining...

The rest I’m not so sure about... I don’t know what the family doll things represent and I don’t know why my dream acknowledged that all my relatives were dead, except my maternal grandmother. I know her being with the mortician was just knowing she was in good hands with my grandmother. Maybe me dreaming of comforting her was just me wishing I had her here to go through this with... But who knows?

I know this was a HELL of a long read. I don’t expect anyone to actually read through this shit. I just wanted to get it out and....analyze it I guess. And also just...DO something with this grief instead of just replaying the dream in my head on repeat all day...

If one of you DID read this, I appreciate that you think so highly of me to read through my long-winded ramblings. ....and I’m also sorry for that because I’m not worthy of that. But, I love you dearly.

#death #a lot of fucking death...#dream journal

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highqueenofelfhame · 4 years

Text

when we were kids, five.

The thing that woke her up wasn’t necessarily the sun coming through the window, or the pounding in her head. It was that when she rolled over, something crinkly and uncomfortable mashed against her face enough that she opened her eyes and braved the bright beams that poured through the window. Papers attached to a manilla envelope with a precise and neat signature stared back at her and she couldn’t believe it.

It was over. He had finally given her the divorce she’d been asking for for years. And she couldn’t decide if it was a relief or a weight on her chest.

What was a weight on her chest was the way she had acted last night. Like a complete drunken, blubbering fool that he didn’t deserve to put up with. They may have been technically married but that didn’t mean that she was his anything to take care of, and if his date or relationship with that girl had been real and she had ruined it…

Well, she owed him an apology and that was absolutely certain. The other certainty in her life? That she likely looked like complete and utter shit.

When she managed to pull herself out of bed and stagger to the bathroom, her thoughts were confirmed. Mascara marred the space beneath her eyes looking very much like someone had taken the ‘fill’ tool on Microsoft Paint and filled her bags in with murky gray. Even her hair and eyes were somehow dull under the bathroom lighting, the hangover plaguing her entire being and not just her aching head.

It was a necessary decision when she slipped into the shower and turned the heat almost all the way up, relishing in the way the water nearly melted her skin. The heat was rejuvenating, thawing the aches and pains she felt all over. She was in the shower until the water started to cool. It was only then that she got out and braided her damp hair down her back and changed into presentable clothes for the day.

By the time she had changed, eaten, and hydrated enough to be a functional human, her hair was mostly dry and hanging in messy waves around her face. She was in her rental car and driving down the bumpy road to Rowan’s house soon after pouring a fresh cup of coffee into a traveler mug, and she was off.

When she first got to Rowan’s, he wasn’t there so she decided to wait it out by walking through the back yard down to where the beach was. Something, though, caught her eye under the large willow tree that they had spent many days relaxing under in the spring while she read and he doodled in a sketchbook.

Under the tree there was a large cross protruding from the ground at the base of the trunk.

Fleetfoot was burned into the wood and Aelin felt her heart stutter to a complete stop. Her mind raced, thinking back over the last few days how every time she addressed the dog it didn’t acknowledge her. It never came up to her when she called, it never responded to her or showed that it knew her in any way. Aelin had initially chalked it up to her being gone for so long but this… she hated the hollow ache in her chest that told her that this was where her dog lay. Rowan had simply got a new companion after she was gone.

Suddenly it became too hard to keep herself stitched up at the seams. So hard as she fell to her knees and pressed her palms against the cool grass. Hot tears began to fall from her cheeks, the pain growing and growing until there wasn’t an out anymore.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered to the dirt, fingers running over the ground in search of any sort of stone to lay at the foot of the cross. “I didn’t know. If I had known I - oh gods.”

It was like the dam she had built over the last eight years burst and she couldn’t keep any of it inside anymore. Something about losing not one, but two babies ripped her soul clean in half while she pressed her forehead to the dirt.

For the first time in eight years, Aelin allowed herself to think about why she left. About the joy and panic she had felt when she and Rowan found out they were pregnant with their first child. About the devastation that had thoroughly wrecked her when she woke up to her stomach hurting, to blood staining emerald sheets. She thought of the shoebox sized coffin they had buried in the cemetery down the street in the baby’s honor, and how she laid in bed and grieved while Rowan did his best to hold them both together.

“You never did anything wrong,” she whispered to the dirt, to the baby, to Fleetfoot, to Rowan. “It was only ever me afraid to face my losses that I could not and cannot face because I am a coward. I am a coward and I am so sorry.”

A twig snapping had her jumping to her feet and whipping her head around to see Rowan approaching. She wiped at her face then swiped her palms down her jeans leaving streaks of mascara behind. It didn’t matter that she looked like a mess. It never had, not with Rowan. She gave him a watery, sad smile and gestured toward the cross unable to find any words.

“I didn’t know how to tell you and if you were leaving soon I thought maybe it would be better if you thought she was doing okay,” he said softly, hands slipping into his pockets. The look on his face told her he had heard everything she had whispered to the earth. For some reason it made her angry, but these days it was starting to feel like everything he did made her angry. “I signed your papers, Aelin. I thought you’d be gone by now.”

“I came by to... I don’t know,” she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, suddenly not knowing what to do with her hands. His face looked so broken and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was her doing. If it was her words from last night, or if he had heard everything, then he’d heard what she’d said about the baby. They’d never really talked about it before, aside from last night when she’d told him he suffocated and stifled out whatever flame she’d had inside her.

It was something that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Rowan had never stifled her, only encouraged her and supported her however she needed. In truth, Rowan had always been the most supportive person in her life. More than her parents, more than her friends… more than Chaol. From the moment she had been born he’d been a solid constant. And now that it was just going away… She wasn’t sure how she felt.

“I didn’t mean any of it,” she finally admitted, twisting her fingers around her hands. “I’ve been harboring this anger toward myself for so many years but it was easier to pin it on you. I couldn’t come back because if I did, I would have to face all of that. Face you. And I just couldn’t do it. I know my apologies don’t mean much, but I’m sorry.”

“Can I show you something?” He asked her, green eyes searching her face.

“Show me what?”

“I just want to take you somewhere, show you… something.”

Aelin’s arms folded over her chest and she shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You can’t come with me or you won’t come with me?” His hands slid into his pockets, the muscles of his forearms shifting. Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she contemplated how to answer.

“Both,” she shrugged, sliding her own hands into her back pockets as she took a step backward. Rowan nodded, and without another word she disappeared up the path.

~*~

Aelin couldn’t find her phone anywhere, and had given up on looking for it in her rental and in her parent’s house. So instead of boring herself with searching for it in high places, she decided to head to low ones to see if anyone had seen her phone last night. There was a fall festival downtown, and despite herself she wanted to go and partake in the harmless fun for the first time in almost a decade.

Hundreds of booths lined the streets and thousands of people milled about them. For awhile, she let herself wind up and down the street, taking in all the vendors for big and small local businesses. She bought truffles from a patisserie and couldn’t resist the smell of the kettle corn that was being freshly made in giant copper kettles. She even bought accessories and jewelry from several other vendors, doing what she could as a celebrity to support small businesses.

“Princess,” a low voice drawled behind her, and she turned to find Fenrys prowling toward her. With a grin, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “How are you? You okay?”

“Nursing the hangover of the century but these chocolates are curing my ailments.”

“I’m just impressed you didn’t miss a bullseye until after you were neck deep in alcohol.” They both laughed, Aelin looping an arm through his despite all her bags. They walked back toward her car so she could drop them all off, chatting about things they’d missed along the way.

It felt so easy to be here. To remember all the times that they had spent laying on a trampoline counting stars or double-jumping each other until they were flying so high she’d felt like a bird taking flight for the first time. The memories just poured back into her mind and she couldn’t stop the flood gates that opened wide and threatened to swallow her whole.

By the time she locked eyes with Rowan under a canopy of lanterns, it was dark and her heart was pounding in her chest as she remembered the soft warmth of his lips on hers while he kissed her goodnight. Or had it been a kiss goodbye?

“Hey,” she said softly, shivering from the slight chill that always came with fall nights in Orynth.

“Hey.” He fell into step beside her, walking until they reached the edge of the woods, the only light coming from the moon and far away street lamps. She didn’t know why she’d led them here when she knew how dangerous it was to be so alone with Rowan. Aelin just didn’t want to admit it to anyone, not even herself the way her stomach knotted every time she looked at him. The way her chest had squeezed so tightly when she saw his name signed on those papers.

When she’d first arrived in Orynth, it had been easy to believe that it wouldn’t matter. That it wouldn’t hurt when he signed the papers, that it would be a relief. Instead, her heart had seized in her chest for a moment as a blind panic struck her like lightning but she’d chalked it up to relief. Intense relief of it ending. But it hadn’t been that at all.

“When I saw that you were engaged in the magazines, I was at the grocery store picking up milk and eggs. Waiting in line, minding my own business, but I always ended up searching the covers for anything about you. Anything that would tell me you were doing okay because you changed your number and I couldn’t ever get through. And I tried, Aelin. I called that disconnected number every few days until someone else answered and told me I had the wrong number like a godsdamn fool.” His laugh was harsh and anything but funny. “And then I saw you were engaged. The eggs slipped from my hands, the milk jug exploded over the floor. I was standing in a puddle of egg yolks and whole milk staring at that damn magazine until the manager asked me to move.”

Aelin hadn’t even considered what it would have been like for Rowan to see the photos. Her main concern at the time was her parents and getting the divorce. At the time, she hadn’t particularly cared about his feelings. But now she did, and she could imagine the way the color must have drained from his face, that light headed feeling that came with an intense shock to your heart. She knew what it felt like because the same thing had happened to her when she walked into the bar last night and saw Lyria perched on his lap. It had hurt.

“I didn’t want it to get out until I got home, but I’d forgotten to take the ring off before the premiere.” Voice barely above a whisper, she couldn’t put much more sound behind it. She couldn’t get herself to meet his gaze, either, but she could see him nod out of the corner of her eye. Her fingers spun the diamond ring around her finger anxiously, and some piece of her wanted to tear it off and throw it into the woods behind them. Instead, she carefully picked up Rowan’s hand and turned his palm over, ran her fingertips over the lines that she knew better than she knew her own.

“What do you want, Aelin?” His voice was soft.

“I just wanted you to sign my — ”

“Not yesterday. Or the day before that. What do you want right now?” Hard. Rowan’s voice was hard, turning so quickly from an easy-going conversation and making it something else entirely. It was as hard as the fist he curled his hand into, capturing one of her fingers between his own. Aelin looked up at him, brow furrowed.

“I don’t know.”

“Gods above, woman. You are so… gods you infuriate me.”

“Yeah, well, right back at ya, asshole.” Completely done with Rowan and whatever he had to offer, she turned to leave but he was faster. His hands took her face between them and his lips were on hers before she could even think or process. The harsh bark of the tree he backed her up against dug into her shirt as hard as her fingers twisted into his hair.

It felt so good, so, so good to kiss him. It was like waking up, like coming alive, like being set on fire and burning and burning and never wanting to stop despite the pain that covered your skin. She wanted more of it, more of his lips that were soft and warm against hers. More of his fingers that were now digging into her hips, more, more, more —

But then he was pushing her away, shaking his head and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Go home, Aelin.”

It was quiet for a beat before she heard footsteps approaching but she didn’t break eye contact with Rowan. Rowan, whose chest was heaving and his lips were swollen and red from hers.

“Aelin?” Her heart stuttered and faltered and stopped and started all at the same time.

“Chaol,” she said, eyes still on her now ex-husband for a moment before she turned to look at her fiance. When she looked back at Rowan, he was shaking his head at her before he started to walk away, only stopping before Chaol for a moment. He towered over him, out-muscled him, and for half a second Aelin was worried about Chaol being laid out on the ground by Rowan’s fist.

“You and I are in love with two very different people,” he said softly, and then he was gone, stalking back toward the festival with his head hanging low and hands deep in his pockets.

“What’s he talking about?” Aelin inhaled sharply, rubbed at the tension headache between her brows. “There were photos of you on every gossip site in the country and all over social media of you leaving some bar holding hands with that guy. I thought you came back to tell your parents, Aelin. You came back to have a godsdamned affair?”

“What? No! No. Gods above, no. He - I… he’s my husband.” Aelin swallowed hard, the next words going down like stones. “Ex-husband.”

@starseternalnighttriumphant @musicmaam @city-of-fae @kandasboi @the-regal-warrior @empire-of-wildfire @tangledraysofsunshine @lorcansalvaterree @valarian-trash @hey-its-grey @sleeping-and-books @thephilosophyofblank @breezyfreezey @westofmoon @tonystarksbish @mariamuses @thereaderandfangirl @silvermindedwarrior @rosesandglass @xxhopelesspeachesxx @maraadyyer @flowerspringsea @the-bookloving-girl @vartineh @mis-lil-red @but-she-was-aelin-galathynius @dreamcatchersimss @chemicha @vi0let-femmes @ttakeitbacknoww @dressedindustandshadows @lowhangingtreebranches @bamchickawowow

@damnthisjam

#had to post this on mobile my internet is out here wildin #ill add tags later #rowaelin #wwwk #wwwk5

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probably-writing-x · 4 years

Text

Absence.

Guzmán x Reader

Request from @oldfashiondisturb : Hi dear! A new request if you like it! Reader is Polo sister. She was in an other country during the time of all the Marina/Polo case. Just before she leaves to this other country, something happened between her and Guzman, but she never called him, or reached him in any way. She comes back after the death of Polo. She hears about everything and all the stuff Guzman and Samuel did to him, and she is kind of pissed so she confronts them! But, all the feelings they have for each others come back?

Requests are open🤍

——————

You’d never been in such a hurry as you were whilst you waited for the plane to land, to get through security and get out of that airport to your taxi. Your heart was beating at an ungodly pace as you were in utter fear of what you’d be left with when you got back to the place you’d abandoned over a year ago. Everything felt like a ghost town, a place you’d once known so well and yet could hardly feel any connection to anymore. So much had changed.

You’d left last year after your disagreements with your Mums got far too much for you. It was relentless, constantly questioning why their daughter didn’t excel in the way that their son did. Polo always managed to just do well. He had decent grades, a beautiful girlfriend, a positive future. You’d been the daughter that wasn’t really sure of her place in the world and who didn’t want to wait around to find out. When the opportunity to move to America came, you grabbed it with open arms. That had been at the start of last school year. Now, as you returned, it was to the end of the school year - what would have been graduation - with the heavy news that your brother had been killed.

“Thank you, here is fine,” You confirm as the taxi pulls up in front of the cemetery.

You’d made it back just in time for the gathering and dreaded what you’d be met with when you got there.

It was a pure sea of black, solemn settings that instantly made the weight on your chest feel ten times heavier. All of the people you’d once called classmates were stood around together as they respected the life of your brother. One of them had done this to him. You knew it couldn’t have been as they’d expected - a suicide. It was one of them.

“Darling,” It’s your Mum that calls you, both of them stepping forward, “It’s good to see you again.”

You give both of them an awkward hug, “You too. Excuse me.”

Despite everything that had happened, you’d kick yourself for letting that change anything between you and them. They’d abandoned you long ago and this wouldn’t be the time where that stopped.

You pass some more familiar faces who all give you looks somewhere between shock and sorrow until you finally reach the headstone you’d been waiting for. It’s an instinct when you crouch down in front and rest your hand on the warming stone.

“Hey buddy,” You start, voice shakier than you’d have hoped, “I know I haven’t been around, and I know I should’ve been.”

You take in a deep breath, pursing your lips in the hopes that it would stop the tears.

“But I’m not going to give up on finding who did this to you. You’ll always be my brother Polo. Always. Okay? And I’ll make you proud, I’ll go and change the world like you always said I would. But I need you to do something for me. I need you to save a spot up there for me, got it?”

You’re stopped as a hand settles on your shoulder and you glance up to see Guzmán now beside you.

“Hey, (Y/n),” He smiles gently, his eyes dipping as he gives as much empathy into his expression as possible.

You stand up and brush yourself off, “Hi.”

Before you can say anything more, his arms wrap around you tightly. It’s somewhere between a hug that you both need to grieve and a hug of ‘damn I’m glad to see you again’.

“Guzmán, do you know anything?” You pull away from him, “About what happened, what caused this?”

He glances around and shakes his head, “Not here. We can talk about this later.”

It gives you a slight bit of comfort. He did know something, of course he did. And the hope of getting closer to who did this to your brother gives you the slightest bit of hope now.

- - - - - -

As you’d been waiting for, Guzmán meets you afterwards and the two of you drive to the docks and sit atop the hood of the car - as you had done many times before. Before you left for America, you’d found yourself growing closer and closer to Guzmán. He’d been there for you through a lot and made it possible for you to tell him things that you didn’t tell anyone else - not even Polo. If you’d have stayed for any longer, you’d have fallen in love with that boy.

“So, what do you know, Guzmán?”

You weren’t waiting any longer than you had to.

He takes in a deep breath and shifts a little, “Polo changed after you left (Y/n), he wasn’t the boy you thought he was.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He-“ He stops himself, “He killed Marina.”

The words carry more weight than anything you’d ever felt. Your brother had killed his sister? You hadn’t come home when you heard about Marina, even if you knew you should’ve done. In fact, you hadn’t spoken to him since you’d first gone. Again, you knew you should’ve done.

“I didn’t want to believe it at first either but he was like a completely different person,” Guzmán continues, “And he killed her because he was terrified of losing Carla. It was a long story and I don’t think I even understand it fully but he killed her.”

“Stop saying it,” You say abruptly, “How the fuck does that help me find out who killed him?”

“(Y/n), your brother wasn’t an angel,” Guzmán inputs, “He hurt a lot of people and that meant that people wanted revenge. I needed to hear him say it, I needed to know that he was responsible for my sister being killed.”

“What did you do, Guzmán?” The words feel like ice to your tongue.

His breath is shakier now, “Me and Samuel... we... I got him to my house and did everything I could to get him to confess... when he did, I saw red. I wouldn’t have stopped if Samu didn’t force me to. I didn’t kill your brother (Y/n), but in that moment, I easily could’ve.”

You jump down from the hood of the car and stand firmly on the ground with trembling legs, “What the fuck?”

“(Y/n)...”

“Don’t!” You snap, “You should’ve told me, I could’ve done something, I could’ve been there for him. Instead, you beat Polo until he was black and blue and then threw him to the wolves so somebody else could finish the fucking job.”

“It wasn’t like that (Y/n)... things changed and I...”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You might have not been the one that stabbed him with that bottleneck, but you’re sure as hell not innocent.”

With that, you’re storming away from him as though you have any idea of where you’d go. You wrap your arms around yourself and become engulfed by a flood of tears that sting when they’re not swept away by Guzman’s caring touch. There were a million thoughts that that conversation had just caused for you and you couldn’t process them all at once. Your brother - a murderer? The thought felt physically impossible. And one of his best friends had held him hostage until he’d confessed. So much had changed in the past few years, it made you regret ever coming back. It made you wish you’d kept that image of your brother that you’d always held. That innocent, welcoming boy that you’d grown up with every step of the way.

- - - - - -

You find yourself circling back to the cemetery after your experience with Guzmán and sit at the side of the gravestone until you find any words suitable enough.

“What happened, Polito?” You mutter, “Fuck, you should’ve called me or texted or something, I could’ve been here for you, I could’ve done something to sto- Who am I kidding? I’m the one that left you. Would it have made any difference? If I’d have been here?”

You swallow the lump in your throat as you settle down the flower that you’d been holding in your hands.

“I need to believe you were a good man, Polo. I have to. Because the thought of you as anything less-“ You stop yourself as a bout of tears pokes through once again, “Please tell me you didn’t deserve this, please.”

You’re interrupted again as the sound of an engine cutting out comes from behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know who it is. As Guzmán makes his way over to you and stays a safe enough distance away.

“I forgave him you know,” Guzmán says calmly, “It was the last thing I said to him, that anyone said to him, I told him that I’d forgiven him.”

You sit up a little, hearing words that feel like they have more of a meaning than anything you’d heard all day.

“Your brother wasn’t a murderer, he just killed someone. It wasn’t in his blood, it wasn’t buried deep inside of him, it was a mistake. And it took me too long to figure it out but I did eventually.”

“Is that supposed to make things better?”

“I didn’t kill your brother. And what happened to him was a mistake, if you want the full story I’ll give it to you. But I’ll be here for you (Y/n) - I know what it’s like to lose a sibling.”

“I should’ve come home. When Marina died, I should’ve come back.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Guzmán steps forward a little, “I was seconds away from calling you and pleading with you to come back just so I’d have someone that could hug me and tell me I’d be okay.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m so sorry, Guz.”

He shakes his head, “It’s never been your fault.”

You turn and properly look at him, “But look. My brother has died and you’re right here, staying with me even after I’ve practically yelled in your face. Guzmán I don’t deserve that. I deserve to feel alone like you did, I deserve to carry the guilt of knowing that Marina died and I could’ve been there to stop it, that I could’ve kept Polo alive and-“

“(Y/n) stop,” He snaps, “Start going down that spiral and you’ll never come back, believe me.”

Instantly, you find yourself standing up and rushing to wrap your arms around him as tightly as your weakened frame can muster.

“Thank you for being there for him Guzmán.”

He stumbles slightly as your sudden actions surprise him before he hugs you back with strong arms folding around your entire torso.

“I should’ve told you more, I should’ve told you what was happening here, I know. But I never stopped wanting you to go and live the life that you deserved. And I knew you deserved better than watching your whole like back home come crashing down.”

You pull away from him and sniff, “I shouldn’t have left.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve become someone that you wanted to be and I know Polo would be so proud of you for that. I know I am.”

In those eyes, it’s like you’re seeing a reflection of your own. Both of you had been knocked down, torn to shreds by everything that the world had thrown at you. You’d been picked up and dropped again and again even in just the past few hours. And you’d both been through more than you should’ve been. But there’s a comfort in the fact that you had each other. Another broken soul that would piece together with yours to somehow fix into one whole one - just about. It could stay that way until both of you found those pieces to make yourself up again, or until you found them for each other.

But he was proud of you and that was enough for you to trust that you weren’t a bad person.

“I don’t have anybody left Guzmán,” You admit, glancing over at Polos name written across the marble.

“No,” He reaches out a hand and locks it with yours, “You’ll never not have anybody. Because there isn’t a day that goes by where I wouldn’t have waited for you, and there won’t be any day after today where I won’t prove to you that you’re loved. You’re not alone (Y/n) and you never will be.”

You squeeze his hand and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you trail your eyes to the headstone. You take in deep, shaky breaths and feel yourself moulding into the boy beside you. And in that moment, he’s right. You’d never been alone.

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milkhyuun · 4 years

Text

dear valentine | j.jh (ii - angst)

pairing | jaehyun / reader

tags | angst, boyfriend!au

warnings | mentions of death (oops)

word count | 1.3k

[intro] | [alt. ending - fluff]

a/n: i wrote this in a trance at like 2am so sorry if it seems kinda rushed ;; i feel like i completely forgot how to write angst, rip u_u

You wake up just after the sun begins to rise the morning of Valentine’s Day. Sunlight melts through your curtains to gently arouse you awake. You roll over in bed, stretching. The other side was empty still. You turn your back to the absence of your boyfriend, sighing, before shaking your head out of your thoughts and hurriedly jumping out of bed to get ready.

Your plan was to buy the rest of the gifts before meeting Jaehyun so that you could give them to him right away. You already had the journal, tucked away safely within your purse, filled to the very last page with your scribbled words, but you still needed the more traditional Valentine’s gifts.

You left the house all dressed up, in the flowery sundress that Jaehyun always said was his favorite. You don’t know the last time you’d worn this dress. It had been a long time ago, for sure, because you liked to save it for very special occasions. Today, you decided, was one of them.

The first stop was the local florist, which wasn’t very far from your neighborhood. You liked to visit often, even when you didn’t need flowers, because your friend, Johnny, worked there. You strolled into the shop, and Johnny looked up from the register when he heard the tinkle of the bell. “Hey, John!” You wave to him cheerfully.

“Hi, y/n!” His eyes soften considerably when he realizes it’s you.

“Do you think you could make a small bouquet for me?” you ask him as you come to a stop in front of the register. “Just a simple one, please.” Johnny nods, already moving to work. “And could you maybe make it out of— “

“Red gardenias?” Johnny finishes, a couple of the stems already in his hands. You smile at him gratefully and nod. His voice quiets, “For Jaehyun, right?”

Johnny was Jaehyun’s best friend too. And, as his best friend, he also knew that Jaehyun’s favorite flowers were gardenias. In fact, after Jaehyun had first met you in the park, the red blossoms blooming by the path, it was Johnny he had first about you.

When Johnny finishes arranging the bouquet, you start to fish for your wallet in your purse. He stops you and shakes his head dismissively when you try to hand him your money. “No, no, it’s fine! It’s on me!”

“Are you sure?” You look at him quizzically.

“Yeah, of course!” he assures you, smiling. You take the bouquet from Johnny timidly. “Anything for you and Jaehyun.” There’s a look in his eyes that you take notice of, and you understand.

Afterward, you made a couple of quick stops at a few more stores. One of them was this chocolate patisserie in the city that Jaehyun seemed to adore so much. He had only been there once, when the two of you had spontaneously visited it during a walk around the city, and he had been dreaming of tasting the creamy chocolate again ever since. It was pretty famous for its decadent sweets, so the line was long, especially on Valentine’s Day. But you were willing to wait it out. Just for Jaehyun.

The sun is high in the afternoon sky by the time you had gathered all your presents for your boyfriend. It was a pretty large assortment, but you decided it was appropriate considering that it was Valentine’s Day and his birthday.

There were the red gardenias from Johnny. The chocolates from Jaehyun’s favorite patisserie. A teddy bear similar to the one he gave you last year. A picnic basket with all his favorite foods, for when you see him. And, of course, the journal.

You start the car once you assure yourself you have everything together. As you’re driving, however, you start to feel nervousness settle within your stomach. You tighten and loosen your grip on the steering wheel and harden your gaze at the road in front of you to try to calm your nerves. You had no idea why you were getting antsy all of a sudden. The eagerness from this morning had somehow disappeared, leaving you bouncing in your car seat with anxiousness.

It had been a while since you had seen Jaehyun, with just the two of you. Last time, Johnny had accompanied you, and his presence had been comforting. Now, the thought of you having to see Jaehyun by yourself again made your stomach turn in uneasiness. It’s not that you didn’t want to see him (it was the complete opposite, really), but seeing Jaehyun nowadays released feelings within you that you wanted nothing more than to push down.

Your knuckles are still white from gripping the steering wheel so hard when you get to the cemetery.

You take the picnic basket and the bags of gifts from your backseat after you park your car. Before locking your doors, you check to make sure that the journal is still tucked into your purse. Once you’re sure you have everything with you, you trudge your way into the grassy space of the cemetery, legs feeling like lead.

As you walked along the stone path winding through the area, you observed the figures that were scattered amongst the grass. Some had swaying heart-shaped Valentine’s Day balloons that looked out of place against the monotone scenery of the cemetery. There was a bittersweet feeling in the air. The feeling of lost loves and broken forevers wafted from the lonely people hunched over headstones, but they were also accompanied by the hopeful longings for the sort of happiness that comes with closure.

How lovely to find love, you think, even in such a desolate place as the cemetery.

It had been a while since you had been here, maybe of a couple of months at most, but you still remembered exactly where Jaehyun was. He was buried somewhere towards the west side of the cemetery, his headstone conveniently placed underneath the protective shade of an oak tree. When you reach him, you set down your things gently beside the headstone to spread out the small picnic blanket you brought with you across the dewy blades of grass. Once you had settled down on the blanket, you reached out to place your softly trembling fingers on the marble of the headstone. It was cool to the touch, and you traced your fingers over the inscription of his name.

You whispered softly to his name, “Happy birthday, Jaehyun. And happy Valentine’s Day, too, my love.” The gentle breeze seemed to carry your words away as you exhaled them shakily.

You take the bouquet of red gardenias and place it gently against the headstone. “I have some flowers from you. Oh, and, Johnny said hi, by the way.”

“There's also this teddy bear I bought. It looks like the one you gave me last year, doesn’t it?” The bear is set next to the flowers with a sad smile.

“And I brought your favorite foods. Look! It’s the chocolate from that patisserie you love so much.” You get the picnic basket and set it in your lap, biting your lip to keep it from trembling.

“Oh! And one last thing. How could I forget?” You reach into your bag slowly and pull out the journal.

“Remember this?” You’re uttering your words softly, as if saying them any louder would mean that Jaehyun wouldn’t be able to hear them. “It’s the one you gave me last year. I managed to fill it up.” You page through the journal as if to demonstrate.

“Now that it’s done, I get to read it to you, Jae. Like you hoped I would...” Your voice catches in your throat at his name, and a droplet manages to slip out of your eye. It dances its way down your face, before dripping onto the journal. The tear sinks into the paper. “This is what you really wanted for Valentine’s Day, wasn’t it?” You let out a quiet laugh as more tears begin to follow, falling onto the pages and gently smudging the penned words.

“Here we go. You better listen, okay, love?” You open to the first page shakily and still your breath.

“Dear Valentine..."

#jaehyun #nct #jaehyun scenarios #nct scenarios #jaehyun imagines #nct imagines #jaehyun angst #nct angst

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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 4 years

Text

Silver Lining

Summary: My sketchbook twist on what happened in the episode The Storm while Johanna was alone in her car. You know, technically, it could have happened...

Inspired by something I said in this rewatch post

Notes: Okay so originally this was going to be something very different with lots of obliviousness and mutual pining, but then it hit me that outside of the angsty hell that is The Mistakes We Made, I have no established relationship fics??? Time to fix that. Also I wanted to jump into the “librarian and Johanna were secretly dating during season 1” bandwagon before season 2 comes along and crushes our dreams.

Read it on ao3

The art supply store had been deserted, presumably because of the storm raging outside, which seemed to only get worse by the minute. Uneasy over the weather, Johanna’s shopping was quick, and she only bought what was absolutely essential, even though she promised herself to come back some other time.

She couldn’t fathom what was happening that day. Even in the height of winter, it never snowed like that in Trolberg, not as far as she remembered. It could be one of those freaky effects of global warming, she supposed, but it still was weird that it had happened so suddenly.

Returning home was not an option. The roads were completely blocked by heaps of pristine snow, and she’d certainly catch her death if she attempted the walk back, thus why she’d called Hilda. She’d wanted to tell her why she wouldn’t be returning home so soon, but knowing her daughter as she did, she also found it wise to warn her not to leave the house. Just in case she had any grand ideas.

After putting down the phone, she looked around only to realize that the stores were all closing, turning off their lights and closing their curtains. Johanna could see where they were coming from, seeing as no customer would face this storm for things like art supplies or doughnuts, but she had hoped at least one of them would be available for her to stay inside and make use of the heating. Seeing no other option, though, she returned to her car.

Her cellphone had no signal, and she was sure that that, too, was due to the weather. The supplies she’d bought weren’t enough for her to get ahead on her work, or even to doodle, so she was stuck with people-watching to pass her time. Everyone she saw looked like they were hurrying somewhere, and Johanna silently wished good luck to each of them, even though she knew that they would only be able to go so far before being forced to find somewhere to stay immediately.

None of the anxious faces she saw evoked more than a brief memory from her, either people who frequented her favorite cafe at the same time as her, or perhaps people she’d helped during her time working at the hardware store. Until one did.

Johanna recognized her colours before her face, because even though she was looking down at the ground, stepping carefully on the snowy street, her black clothes and purple hair always gave her away. She was curled in on herself, apparently clutching something to her belly to protect it from the snow.

Her house wasn’t nearby, Johanna knew this. The only reason she was outside at all was because of the weekly coven meeting that the witches of Trolberg did every Sunday morning. She must have been caught abruptly by the storm when she was already on her way.

Feeling icy wind on her face as she opened the car’s door, Johanna waved her hand in the air and tried to shout to get her attention.

“Maven!” Though she knew the woman to get lost in thought while she walked, Maven heard her right away, and a look of recognition overtook her face when she glanced at the yellow car. “Come here, you’ll freeze to death!”

There was barely a second of deliberation before the librarian crossed the street and headed for the passenger seat. When she opened the door, Johanna was already sitting down again, and she helped herself inside the car.

“Thank you, Anna.” She said, incredibly relieved that Johanna had been there in the exact moment she’d needed her. “You just saved me.”

The smile Johanna gave her stole her breath, making her feel warmer in spite of the freezing cold she’d just come out of. She always had that power of making the room feel like it was filled with a light so strong that it seeped all the way into Maven’s heart, and it was one of those things Maven knew she’d never tire of.

“Well, I’m glad to be of help. How was the meeting?”

Maven shrugged, opening her coat’s zipper to get rid of the icy garment.

“It was alright. Harvesting season is coming closer and we are planning on blessing the crops nearby.” She said, throwing the coat on the backseats. “Heavens know they’ll need it with this storm. The elders also warned me that they’ll be coming to the library this week with a group of children who showed gifts to the occult arts. You know, to teach them about the path. So I guess that will be interesting.”

The most intriguing topic on the reunion had been, by far, the concern over a group of kids who had caused a commotion in the cemetery. One member of their coven had recently made contact with a ghost, only to find it unwilling to help her ‘because of the human children of their town that had been disrespecting their eternal slumber’. Maven had to admit that she’d had to make an effort not to laugh when their spirit worker told this story, but unless she had a death wish, she should not let Johanna in on this. It wasn’t lying, she told herself. It was simply not snitching on Hilda. Besides, since Johanna wasn’t a witch, Maven shouldn’t even be telling her any of that to begin with.

“What about you?” She asked, trying to shake the ghosts away from her mind. “What are you doing out here in this storm?”

“Oh, I came for art supplies.” Johanna pointed at the shopping bag on the backseat. “Wasn’t quite this bad when I left home. I wonder what on earth brought on this crazy weather.”

“Oh, weather spirits undoubtedly.” Maven said as she took off her gloves, rubbing her hands together for warmth.

“Weather spirits?”

“Yes, I can sense they’re the ones behind this. Besides, the coven has been observing some very unusual weather spirit activity in town. We could be here for a while.”

Looking worriedly at the sky, Johanna only noticed that Maven was offering her something when she all but shoved it under her nose. She blinked, picking a cupcake up on her hands. It was still warm and exhaled a sweet apple scent, with cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on top of it.

Maven’s left hand was inside a paper bag, which Johanna assumed was what she’d been trying to protect from the snow when she’d been outside. After taking another cupcake, she folded the bag closed.

“One of the witches made too many cupcakes and brought them to give us. Very convenient to have them right now.”

“Oh, that smells lovely.” Johanna said. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it home for yourself? I’m not going to starve if I have to wait a few more hours to eat.”

Maven smiled right before taking a bite of her own cupcake, shaking her head fondly in exasperation.

“I’m your girlfriend, Johanna.” She said when she finished chewing. “If I don’t feed you, who will?”

Johanna rolled her eyes playfully as she brought the cake to her lips, humming in satisfaction at the sweet taste. Along with seeing Hilda happy and with new friends, her newfound relationship with Maven was what made her be thankful every day that they’d moved back to Trolberg.

“So, these weather spirits.” Johanna began while each of them focused on their sweet. “Any idea of why they went haywire?”

“Hard to tell, really. They’ll pick fights with each other over anything, but for a storm this strong it has got to be an enormous gathering of them. I honestly don’t know what could have caused this, but one of the elders specifies in weather magic. Maybe he knows, I’ll ask him about it when he goes to the library with the initiates.”

Frowning, Johanna felt herself getting more worried.

“So there’s no way to know when this will stop.”

“I’m afraid not.” Noticing her girlfriend’s unease, Maven tried to catch her gaze, but Johanna seemed to look everywhere but at her. “Anna? Are you okay?”

“I’m just a little worried about Hilda.” She answered. “She’s alone at home with Alfur. I told her to stay put, but even so… she’s just a kid, and if anything happens, she has no way to talk to me.”

“Hey.” Maven put a hand on Johanna’s shoulder, trying to ground her to the moment and not leave her to imagine every bad scenario she could. “I know I don’t know her like you do, but from what you’ve told me she’s a smart and brave little girl. She’ll be fine. If you want to worry about anything, I’d suggest worrying about us at the moment. We’re due to become icicles any minute now.”

Johanna chuckled, grateful for Maven being with her in that moment. She always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She sighed, relaxing the weight of her body against the seat and taking one more bite. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that Maven had taken a pen out of her pocket and was now scribbling something on the paper bag the cupcakes had been on.

“I’m not kidding, if this storm gets any worse I don’t know if the car’s heating will keep up.” She said when Johanna shot her a questioning look. “I don’t have many sigils memorized, but luckily Ruth packed a heat one with the cupcakes. I’ll just activate a few and we should be fine.”

Indeed, on top of her tight there was a small paper square with a doodle in it, which Maven had already copied three times on the bag, and was now doing a fourth one. If Johanna saw that symbol and no one told her of its meaning, she’d wave it off as some sort of stylized drawing of a spider, or perhaps of a flame from a certain point of view, so she was glad to be with someone who knew better.

After finishing the drawings, she put the pen aside and began to carefully rip the sigils from each other. When she had the four pieces of paper, she pressed the first one against her window and recited some words that Johanna couldn’t recognize. Listening to witch language always felt singular to Johanna, like even though she’d never learned it, something deep inside her felt awake when she heard it, like it was in her blood. She’d asked Maven about it once, receiving the answer that this wasn’t an unusual feeling. The language of witches is the language of the Earth, which we’re all part of, she’d said. Johanna couldn’t say in all honesty that she’d understood, but it had seemed to make sense to her girlfriend so she hadn’t pressed any further.

When she removed her hand from the glass, the paper had disappeared, and only the symbol remained on the window, shining with orange light as if it was on fire. Then, it vanished leaving no trace on the window.

Johanna continued to stare at where the sigil had been while Maven maneuvered herself to the back of the car to repeat the process with the back windows. Magic never failed to leave her astonished.

It registered on the back of her mind that the car was indeed getting warmer, especially when the librarian activated the third sigil on the window behind Johanna’s seat. After Maven had done that too, Johanna felt her put her elbow on her seat, near her neck, leaning the other against the passenger seat. She was kneeling on the car’s floor, practically by Johanna’s side in the gap between the two front seats. The look she was wearing immediately gave away to Johanna that she wanted to talk about something.

“Anna, I wanted to ask you…” She began, proving her right. “When do you think it will be okay to tell her about us?”

“Her?” Johanna frowned.

“Hilda, I mean. Obviously I’ll understand if you want to keep our relationship just between ourselves for some time. But what do you think she’ll think of me?”

Johanna opened a smile and leaned towards Maven, kissing her cheek. When she retreated, she had to bite back a giggle at how flustered her girlfriend looked.

“Hilda will love you.” Johanna answered honestly. She’d admittedly thought about how Hilda and Maven’s relationship would be, and she was afraid, just not the way one would expect. Her fear was that they’d get along a little too much and Johanna would have to run after them every other day, trying to stop them from getting killed at the hands of a magical creature they’d attempted to befriend or a spirit they’d summoned. Though it was possible that there would be some unease between them at the beginning, the thought that they wouldn’t see eye to eye didn’t even sound possible to Johanna.

“The only reason I haven’t told her yet is because she seems to have a lot on her mind right now. Some trouble with her friends, I think, but she won’t tell me yet. But it’s a conversation I want to have with her as soon as she’s alright again.”

Maven looked away from Johanna, now feeling silly for having asked. It wasn’t like her to be insecure like that, but this truly mattered to her. Whether Hilda approved of her or not would be decisive for how far she and Johanna would be able to take their relationship. Besides, if Johanna told her daughter about them, then that would mean that she took their relationship seriously, so she couldn’t help but care about it.

At least Johanna hadn’t taken it the wrong way, her pursed smile as she put a stray lock of Maven’s hair behind her ear telling her that her girlfriend was probably very amused. She could practically hear Johanna calling her ‘adorable’, stopping herself from doing so only because she knew how Maven didn’t like being called cute.

“I’m… very happy to hear you think so. And I hope whatever is troubling Hilda gets solved soon.”

“I do too. Are you done with your sigils already?”

Between her fingers, she was still holding one last piece of paper, and she flickered her wrist so that it was in front of Johanna’s eyes.

“There’s one more, but I’ll need your help this time.”

“How so- oh.” Before Johanna had time to wonder in what way she could possibly help Maven with magic, her girlfriend had already deposited herself in her lap.

Johanna wasn’t one to blush often, but she was certain the heat on her cheeks was not because of the sigils.

“Just keep this up. I only need to activate this one near your corner of the car.”

Maven then pressed her palm with the sigil to the window, repeating the incantation. This time Johanna was distracted by more than just the magic, in a way that she barely noticed it when the casting was finished and the car was filled by cozy warmth.

“That’s good.” Maven said, approving her own work. “I can go to my seat now, if you want me to.”

Realizing that she’d abstractedly put her arms around Maven’s waist, interlacing her fingers near her side, Johanna shrugged and then caught Maven by surprise by learning in to kiss her lips sweetly. It would have been a very romantic cenario, snug with her love while snow piled outside, if only they weren’t there because they were trapped inside a car due to a mysterious storm. Still, she was with Maven and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere, dearest.”

_#_#_#_

Maven did go back to her seat eventually, but it was only because Johanna remembered a deck of cards that she kept in the glove compartment and after some time they decided to play something. It didn’t take long at all for the librarian to realize that she was pretty bad at that, but seeing Johanna’s childlike joy every time she won a match, she couldn’t even be annoyed.

Safe and sound inside the car, the storm hadn’t really been on the forefront of their minds. The magic kept them comfortable and the flow of people running from the weather outside was all but nonexistent at that point. But they did realize when the few rays of sunshine that made it through the thick layers of clouds became stronger.

Both of them put their cards down, the change so noticeable that they wanted to get a good look at what had happened. While Maven only lowered her window and stuck her head out, Johanna stepped out of the car to look at the sky.

“At last!” Johanna sighed with relief as the clouds became smaller, making a gap just above them.

From her side of the car, Maven was more interested in another thing she’d noticed than in the changing weather. Either her eyes deceived her, or a thunderbird was flying away at that very moment. What it had been doing in the middle of that tempest was anyone’s guess.

However, they were soon startled by the booming sound of thunder, and watched in stunned silence as one of the remaining clouds seemed to swell unnaturally, darkening at each moment that passed. Johanna closed the door by her side just in time to not get hit by the first drops of water.

They were static while they watched the rain pour down, not believing in the situation even though it was happening right in front of their eyes. Stunned by the abrupt turns, a laugh escaped Johanna’s lips, and soon the absurd picture that she made, laughing like a madwoman while monstrous rain surrounded them made Maven break into giggles as well.

“Well dearest, I think we’re going to be here for even longer.” She said after she had gathered herself enough to form a coherent sentence.

Picking up her girlfriend’s cards as well as her own, she began shuffling them together.

“In that case, I would like a revenge match.”

“Alright, but I warn you that you’ll regret it.”

Huffing in feigned outrage, Maven began distributing their cards, and the ones that were left she put to the side.

“In the end I’m glad, you know.” Johanna said after they began their match, making the librarian frown at her. “For the storm. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t even see you today, let alone spend some time with you.”

“Me too, Anna.” Maven smiled. “Me too.”

#fic: silver lining #my fic #sketchbook ship #sketchbook ship hilda #sketchbook ship fanfic #the hilda librarian fanfic #hilda johanna fanfic

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mca-attack21 · 5 years

Text

Starting Over - Part 1

Here we go again, the start of a new series. This is a rewrite of The Vampire Diaries where Elena doesn’t exist. Instead, you have Y/n Gilbert. As in the show, it starts off Stefan x reader. And while Damon isn’t in this part. He is in the upcoming parts :)

Mystic Falls was once a happy place. It was where you took your first steps, where you became a sister. It was where your friends were, and where you had your first kiss. But that was before.

You would never forgive yourself for your parents’ accident. They weren’t supposed to be out on the road that night, but you called them. Why did you survive? There was no logical explanation to that question, and you would give anything to change what had happened. But you couldn’t.

You lost more than your parents that night. You lost yourself. You lost any chance of happiness. Everything homely about Mystic Falls had also died in that car. You blamed yourself for their deaths and in turn for everything that had changed because of it. Jeremy had turned to drugs to ignore the pain. The relationship that you had once cherished with him had become almost nonexistent. Jenna gave up her youth, she was now forced to be your guardian. In all, you tried to distance yourself from everyone and everything. You desperately wanted to feel anything besides the pain and despair.

----------- Four Months Later------------------

Going back to school seemed completely foreign, but it was time to start to move on. Your goal was simply to make it through the day. To fake enough smiles and say enough “I’m fine’s” to convince yourself that it was true.

You were not expecting to have to bust Jeremy at school in the Men's bathroom. You tried to be understanding, but you knew deep down that if continued on this path he was going to end up regretting it.

You were also not expecting to run into an extremely attractive stranger as you exited the men’s room.

“This is the Men’s restroom, isn’t it?” he asked peering over you.

“It is, sorry. Long story” you sighed attempting to move out of his way. The two of you then proceeded to dance around each other until he put his hands on your shoulders and swapped places with you. You were blushing hard as you walked down the hall.

Later that day, you would see him again in French, Biology, and History. In History, Bonnie caught on to the fact that he was staring at you and sent you a text. This made you look over in his direction. When your eyes met, it was intense, you forced yourself to look away.

You went to the cemetery to visit your parents grave. You were writing in your diary as you often did. You looked up when you got a weird feeling. A black crow flew by, it was so close you felt your hair move. It landed on their gravestone, and you felt as if it was staring at you. However, you figured that you were just being paranoid. You got up to chase it away and fog started to surround you. It was like something from a horror movie. You turned around to grab your bag and you could’ve sworn that you saw someone duck behind one of the other gravestones. Paranoid or not, this was enough to send you running. You weren’t paying attention to where you were headed and tripped over some tree roots and fell.

Unexpectedly, Stefan appeared to help you up. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Were you following me just now?” you asked still shaken up.

“No, I was just on my way to the cemetery and I saw you fall,” he answered.

“I’m sorry, I guess it’s just the fog. And then there was this Crow, it was all very Hitchcock.” you rambled. You then stuck out your hand, “I’m Y/n”.

“Stefan” he replied. He then reached up and pulled a leaf from your hair. The way he looked at you, you could not help but smile. This was only the second time you had seen him, but it felt like you had known him your whole life. It was like at that moment everything had changed.

He broke you from your thoughts, “Did you hurt yourself?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know” you replied checking over your hands and legs. There was a nasty gash on your right leg from where you collided with a rock. It was starting to bleed enough to soak into your jeans.

“You should go take care of that” Stefan advised.

When you looked up, he was gone. You looked around, but there was absolutely no sight of him. Weird. You made your way home and took a shower. As much as you wanted too, you couldn’t get him out of your head. Just the thought of him made you smile. You were about to leave to meet up with Bonnie at the grill, but when you opened the door you literally ran into Stefan.

“I’m so sorry, I was just about to knock.” He said as he helped you straighten back up, “I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier. How’s your leg?” he asked.

“It’s fine, just a scratch. And no need to apologize, blood makes some people squeamish.” You answered.

“Yeah, something like that. I also thought that you might want this back,” he said as he pulled out your journal.

“I must have dropped it. Thank you so much” you smiled as you collected it from him.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t read it,” he assured you.

“Why? Most people would’ve”

“Well I wouldn’t want anyone to read mine”

“You journal?”

“Yeah, if I don’t write it down, I might forget it. Memories are too important.”

And if you weren’t falling for him before, you were now. It was like he was meant for you. “I’m just going to put this inside. You don’t have to stand out there.”

But he did.

“I’m fine. Were you going somewhere?” Stefan asked from your doorway.

“To meet a friend, do you want to join me?” you called back to him.

“Sure”

At dinner with Bonnie and Caroline, Stefan revealed that he was born in Mystic Falls. He also told you that his parents died and that he was staying with his uncle. Caroline invited him to the back to school party the next night and he agreed to go only if you would be there. Bonnie spoke for you saying that you would be. It wasn’t long before you all went your separate ways. On your way home you contemplated what could be with Stefan, you got that school girl butterflies and heart eyes feeling. Just the thought of him brought a smile. You hadn’t felt this way about a guy in a while. Maybe ever.

The next day at the party, you wondered where he was. Maybe he had decided not to come. Maybe… you turned around and there he was. He caught you completely off guard.

“I did it again, didn’t I?” he laughed.

“If you mean sneaking up on me, then yes. You seem to be pretty good at it.”

“Do you want to maybe go for a walk?” he asked.

“That sounds great.”

The two of you started heading away from the party. “You know you are the talk of the town?”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Attractive, mysterious, newcomer. Oh yeah”

“Attractive huh?” he laughed.

“That’s not what I meant” you replied trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Oh, so I’m not attractive?” he feigned offense.

“I didn’t say that either” you blushed.

“You also have a mysterious thing going for you, with a hint of sadness,” Stefan replied.

“What makes you think I’m sad” you frowned.

“You forget that we met in a cemetery”

“Actually, we met in the Men’s room” you corrected.

‘Actually, we met last spring’ Stefan thought to himself.

You paused for a moment debating whether or not you wanted to tell him, “You don’t want to know. It isn’t exactly party chit-chat.”

“I’ve never really been a fan of chit-chat” Stefan replies taking your arm.

You took in a deep breath, “Last spring, my parents and I were in an accident. Our car went off the side of Wickery bridge. I was in the back seat. I survived, but they didn’t.”

You had to focus extremely hard to keep yourself calm. The flashbacks came and the guilt. You were not going to cry. It was four months ago. It is over. There is nothing you can do about it.

Stefan pulled you out of your thoughts. He was staring at you intently, though he didn’t look at you like you were fragile, or like you were broken. He looked at you with understanding and admiration. “You won’t be sad forever Y/n” he stated. The two of you continued to walk and talk. He asked you questions about your interests and your past.

You eventually circled your way back to the party and he offered to get you both drinks. You were going to wait for him, but then you saw Jeremy stumbling off into the forest. You rolled your eyes at the fact that he was wasted yet again. You went after him and forced him to come with you. You wished that you could’ve found Stefan to tell him that you had to leave, but being a big sister had to come first. Luckily you hadn’t drunk yet, so you could drive the two of you home.

“Go on, let’s hear the lecture” Jeremy groaned.

“I’m not going to lecture you Jer, not tonight.” You answered.

“Really?” he asked.

“I’m really sorry that you have to go through this. And I know that we haven’t been there for each other lately. But I am still your sister and I still care about you.” You reply, wanting to say so much more.

“Y/n, I-“ he started as you rolled into the driveway.

“You don’t have to say anything, go upstairs and change. Drink some water, get some rest.” You spoke as you exited the car.

You debated going back to the party and seeing if you could find Stefan, but you had no way of knowing if he was there or not. Instead, you went upstairs, changed into your pajamas, and started writing in your journal.

A while later there was a knock on your door. You were happily surprised to see Stefan.

“I’m sorry, I know that it’s late. I just needed to make sure that you made it home okay,” he explained.

“I did, and I am sorry for leaving without saying anything. I had to take care of Jeremy.”

“I can understand that”

“It’s warmer in the house, we can talk if you want? Would you like to come in?” you ask hopefully.

“Yes, I would like that” he answered with a smile as he entered your home.

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

Text

A Stake of Holly in Her Heart Pt. 6

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5

Back inside the house for the night, Max avoids her nightly routine, going straight to her room to hopefully avoid any punishment until the morning comes.

There’s something she really needs to do, so she waits and waits, watching the minutes tick by on her digital clock until the house quiets down and she can be sure Susan and Neil are asleep.

She perches on the end of her bed and just listens for the TV to shut off in the living room, for her mother to pad up the steps toward her room in her fuzzy slippers, and for every light switch in the house to click off. Once she’s sat in complete silence, she presses her ear to the door so she can decide if she’s in the clear.

There’s a writing desk in Billy’s room, along with the last of his furniture they haven’t put out to the curb yet, put there because, well, he wouldn’t be using the room anymore, and Susan thought the space should be utilized instead of just being a memoir to a dead boy, so it became an office of sorts. And that was where Max needed to be right now.

Making as little noise as possible, she tiptoes from room to room, gently shutting each door behind herself, her heart stopping when the lock clicks into place.

Before she takes another step into the room, she listens for a floorboard to creak, or a voice to shout at her to go back to sleep, but there’s nothing but the sound of thick snow gently hitting against the window pane.

The lamp clicks on on the desk so she can see what she’s doing as she carefully fishes through the drawers of the bureau until she’s found a sheet of paper, the only one she could reach without making too much noise is printed with a border of holly branches, a red ballpoint pen, an envelope, and a stamp.

Max sets it all out in front of herself and thinks long and hard. What she’s about to do leaves no room for making mistakes, because she’s going to write a response to Maria.

It takes a lot of workshopping, cutting out bits of information she would rather share in person and trying to make it as blunt as possible, but eventually she decides on this,

“Dear Ms. Hargrove,

I’m not sure if Billy ever told you about me, but I’m his stepsister, Max.

I got your card in the mail Christmas morning, and I’m sorry to tell you, but he didn’t get to read it.

Your son Billy died on the 4th of July.

Please, if you get this letter, come and see him. He’s in the cemetery on 101 Cedar Street, Hawkins, IN, plot 206 B under the ginkgo tree.

I’m sorry, Maxine Mayfield”

Max folds the paper as neatly as she can manage and seals it into the envelope, copying Maria’s address from the first letter onto the outside, and sticking the little stamp, a picture of a Christmas tree, to the corner.

Putting everything back and pulling the chain on the lamp, it’s like she was never even there.

But she must’ve gotten careless, must’ve been too caught up in the moment to remember to listen for footfalls because, when she opens the door again, she’s face to face with a disgruntled Susan.

Arms behind her back, Max slowly slides the envelope into her pocket before her mother can see it. “What are you doing in here?”

“I-I was just, uh, thinking about Billy again.” She lies through her teeth, bringing her arms up to hold the door frame so Susan wouldn’t notice she had something hidden behind her back. “Wanted to be in here for a while, I guess.”

Susan frowns and rubs her eyes. “You know you’re not supposed to be up this late.”

“Yeah, I know, I just, couldn’t sleep.” She shrugs and offers a tired smile, hoping that’ll help her case.

“Well next time, just try to stay in bed.” Susan’s tired, a little tipsy, and generally unhappy with Max, and it shows in her tone, but she’s too tired for reprimanding, so she makes an attempt at advice, saying, “It doesn’t do you any good to dwell on it.”

“Won’t happen again.” The answer must be acceptable because, shaking her head at her daughter, Susan finally retreats. For extra points, Max calls after her, “Goodnight, mom.”

Max stands in the doorway waiting for Susan to start climbing the steps again, then, once she’s absolutely positive her mother’s no longer paying her any mind, she returns to her own bedroom.

The envelope finds itself in a hiding place under her mattress until she can mail it in the morning, just in case of snooping parents, and for the first time in a long while, Max gets a good night's sleep, the events of that day easing her off to dream.

It’s the feeling of hope, of having found a friend and having done the right thing that sends her off into a restful sleep like she hasn’t had in forever, her guilt no longer plaguing her in reality or in dreamland, and her grief soothed.

By sunrise the next day, she’s already up on her feet, dressed and ready to go before her parents are even awake.

She leaves a note taped to the refrigerator door explaining her absence, lying about going to help Mrs. Byers with something she had mentioned at last night’s party, and hurries out the door, letter in her pocket, before anyone can stop her.

But, as the hinges on the front door squeak, she steps out onto the front porch, hearing Neil’s gruff voice behind her before she can close it. “Where’re you going?”

“Mrs Byers. She, um, w-wanted me to come over and help El with uh, packing.” It sounded great on paper, but out loud it sounds exactly like a lie if she’s ever heard one. Neil doesn’t look upset though, so she decides to keep going. “They leave for Chicago soon.”

Neil nods, a look of complete disinterest on his face, and says “Tell her she can keep you if she wants to keep having you over there all the damn time.”

Then he turns away grumbling, and slams and locks the door in his step-daughters face.

Her first winter around snow and ice, something that never lasted long enough back in Cali to be a problem, she’d learned the hard way that her board didn’t work so well on the salt covered sidewalks, so she has to get to the post office without wheels.

She realizes though, that the walking route, unless she wanted to add an extra half hour or so to the trip, meant going right past the Sinclair’s house. Halfway down the sidewalk, when she sees Lucas' little sister outside, she knows that, after the luck she’s been having, she’s not getting off easy.

Erica is all bundled up in layers of coats and sweatpants, sitting in a pile of snow in the front yard, and rolling out a collection of very tightly packed snowballs when she looks up and meets Max’s eyes. Turning her head back towards the window, Erica shouts to her brother, “Hey nerd, your girlfriend is here!”

Before Max can even correct her or try to explain to her that she was just passing through the neighborhood and it was no big deal, the front door is being yanked open, and Lucas comes skidding down the sidewalk towards her.

He’s out of breath when he gets to her on the sidewalk, having run from somewhere in his house, and his voice is laden with concern. “Max! Where were you?”

“I was just busy. My parents said I couldn’t come.” She explains.

“We assumed the worst when you and Steve didn’t show.” He's bent over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “Why weren’t you on the line all night?”

Max shrugs, “Like I said, busy.”

He eyes her suspiciously, obviously trying to find some secret meaning to her words. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, they just took me out for Christmas dinner.” She appreciates the concern, she really does, but she gives him a look anyhow. “You know not everything has to be the end of the world, right?”

“Yeah, right, ‘course.” He agrees, still sounding unsure, then doubles back on it. “You’re positive you’re alright?”

Giggling at how excessive he is, Max rolls her eyes, though not really out of annoyance, and affirms, “Yes, Lucas.”

“Okay.” There’s still more he wants to ask about yesterday, she can tell, but he gives it up, choosing instead to ask, “Where are you headed, then?”

“The post office. I have a thank you card for my grandma I'm supposed to send.” She lies again, but it doesn’t feel the same as when she lied to Neil and Susan or Aunt Nicole, where she was trying to hide how she felt, trying to be someone she wasn’t. This is more like she’s just trying to protect her personal life, and she thinks that’s fair enough.

Lucas flashes her his most charming smile. “Mind if I join you?”

There’s no way she’s going to actually turn down the offer, but she pretends, turning her nose up and saying, “I don’t know. Don’t think I really want you slowing me down.”

“You just don’t want all of this,” Lucas motions to himself with a goofy grin, “to make you look bad.”

She puts a mock sympathetic hand on his shoulder, and says, “Keep telling yourself that, dweeb.” but there’s a wide smile on her face as she says it, even after Erica tells them to get a room and throws a handful of her snowballs at them.

The rest of the walk into town is only a few minutes from that point if they take the shortcut behind the neighborhood, so Max isn’t all that worried about Lucas tagging along.

Mostly though, it’s because, unless he miraculously overcame his hangover and decided to search the treeline with a pair of binoculars, there was pretty much no way Neil was going to see them together, and they were out early enough that any of the nib-nose neighbors who might’ve snitched on them weren’t even awake yet.

Besides, even if Neil was one hundred percent guaranteed to catch her, she feels in a good enough mood that she doesn’t know that she’d care.

Outside of the post office, as she opens the mail slot and lets the letter fall into the collection box, she can tell Lucas catches a glimpse of the name on the envelope just by the sudden frown on his face, the worry in his eyes as he looks over to again her.

But Max, she isn’t bothered by it. She’ll tell him later what’s going on with her and Maria, once the whole thing is over. She thinks she owes it to herself to be a little more abrasive, to not just let everyone in on every last detail of her life so they can make her decisions for her.

So she doesn’t bring it up, just smiles at him and takes his hand, and lets him walk her back home.

After that morning she checks the mailbox constantly to make sure nobody else would find any letters from Maria before she did. Lord only knows what Neil would do if he found out she’d been in contact with his ex-wife.

Day one, all she finds is an issue of the beauty magazine Susan has a subscribed to, a notice for a late water bill, and a day old Christmas card from Uncle Don down in Texas.

The next day is more disappointing, nothing inside the mailbox but spam and a grocery store catalog.

There’s no mail service on Sundays, so she spends the whole of the third day fretting, wondering if her letter her made it, and if she should try to send another.

On the fourth day, there’s finally a letter in the mailbox addressed to Maxine Mayfield. Her heart stutters as she slides the stark white envelope out and gently tears it open.

It simply reads,

“To Billy’s sister, I’m on my way.”