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lionheartslowstart · 3 years

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Triggered

I’ve been doing really well mentally. Which is a phrase I never thought I could say and mean. I’ve been fairly stable, and have gotten to a point where I can monitor my Bipolar Disorder with decent accuracy. It certainly helps to be able to prepare when I know a depressive or manic episode is on the horizon. So hopefully that stays consistent. I’m in a happy relationship with someone who values me. I’m in school and I finally feel like I’m actually starting to live the life I’m meant to be living.

However, trauma is trauma, and it has a tendency to pop up when we least expect it. I won’t get super into it, but the other night, my boyfriend, “Thomas,” and I were talking, and he said/did something that ended up triggering some of my deepest trauma. Cue breakdown. Now, it wasn’t like the breakdowns of the past, for which I am thankful. In fact, I haven’t had a full-blow paroxysm in quite a long time. (Counting my blessings for that one, and hoping that’s evidence of progress on my part.) Normally when my trauma response is triggered, I go catatonic, and it becomes difficult to move or speak, if I even can at all. This time was different. I was able to move and speak, but was in full and total dissociation. I was coming in and out of, I suppose, awareness, for an hour or two. Maybe three? I honestly don’t remember how much time passed. It was like my brain completely shut down. Unlike when I’m catatonic, I wasn’t even really aware of my own thoughts or feelings. I felt kind of like a vegetable in a coma, but still walking around somehow. And before anyone is like “that’s dissociation though,” not necessarily. Dissociation is a disconnect with reality, and it can happen in different ways to differing degrees. I dissociate pretty frequently when it comes to trauma responses, but this was extreme.

Unlike previous partners, Thomas did everything he could. He didn’t really understand what was happening, only that he said/did something that initiated my breakdown. He knew he couldn’t fix it in that moment, but he tried to be as soothing and loving as possible. He asked if he could touch me or hold me. He stroked my hair. He kissed my forehead. He told me he loved me and he wasn’t going anywhere over and over. When we were lying in bed, I started convulsing and hyperventilating. It was bizarre, it was like my body was sobbing, but I wasn’t actually crying because I didn’t feel safe to cry. With every shudder, Thomas pulled me in closer. He wrapped his arm around my waist and squeezed me gently. He buried is face in my hair. He ran his hand up and down my arms and back. Fuck he tried so hard. And even though I was in no place to internalize it or trust it, I saw it.

The following day, when he got home from work, I told Thomas I wanted to talk about it. Some time having passed, I was able to consider what had happened and try to see it from a different perspective. I had also had the opportunity to talk to both my therapist, and one of my best friends, who had stopped by in the morning to return something I had accidentally left with her the day before. Thomas and I sat at the table and I explained to him why I had been so intensely triggered. I told him what I discussed with my therapist and my best friend, and I shared with him what I suspected had happened on his end of things, and why he said/did what he said/did, and what I believed he had probably meant.

Thomas, who is an absolute lamb, is not the most articulate or self-aware, though he has grown so much in both regards since I’ve known him. Sometimes it takes him time to suss out his thoughts and feelings, which is totally fine. Trauma aside, I’m extremely patient in that regard. The problem, of course, comes when I have a trauma response and he doesn’t have the time to consider what happened, so he kind of freezes up. Obviously, my trauma is not his responsibility, and so I don’t hold any of that against him. And how could I? When he is so gentle with me, so loving, and even when it can’t “fix” the situation in the moment, he seems to say and do the right thing, the most comforting thing, at every turn?

Suffice it to say, we worked it out. We reached a mutual understanding on what happened from both perspectives. While I have absolutely improved my ability to take a beat before responding to someone, and considering what they may really mean or what may be contributing to their behavior, that unfortunately does not apply to triggers, especially triggers as big and deep-seated as this one. But I’m lucky to have a partner who is so patient with me. He accepts me, and most importantly, he has NEVER made me feel guilty for having trauma, or for having a trauma response. He has NEVER exacerbated a situation or a reaction on my part, like other partners I’ve had. He has only ever seen me struggling, and has thought to himself, “How can I help her right now?” He has NEVER taken my trauma responses personally, or made it about him. He is, far and away, the greatest partner I’ve ever had.

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It’s crazy to see how much you’ve grown when you have the right people in your life. What I mean is, for so long, I still felt broken. Because I was dating someone who stifled my growth. No matter how I responded to him, no matter how I reacted to a situation, I was always wrong. I was always too much, my feelings were always too strong, I was always “doing something TO him”, even when I was simply expressing how he made me feel. As a result, it felt like I hadn’t grown as much, though I knew I had grown to at least some degree. But now, having a partner who doesn’t get defensive when I tell him he’s hurt or upset me, and who doesn’t internalize my anxiety or trauma, I can see just how much progress I’ve made. I can see how much faster I recover, and how I can now apply critical thinking to the circumstances surrounding my trauma responses, even if it is after it’s happened. Of course, it’s only been four months since we started getting serious, so there’s always that fear that Thomas will get sick of me and leave, but he has assured me that will never be the case, and honestly, I’m tempted to believe him. (Tempted.) My ex was never like this, not really, not even in the beginning.

My ex understood my trauma. In fact, he witnessed some of it. He comprehended it in a way most others don’t. He could explain it back to me. But I never got empathy from him. He still expected me to be able to process certain things like a neurotypical person, despite intimately knowing how my brain works. And then he made me feel guilty for not being able to be neurotypical. He took my trauma responses personally, and often made them worse by making me feel like a bad person for being mentally ill. He never extended to me the empathy he expected from me.

Thomas, on the other hand, does not really understand my illnesses. He doesn’t understand my trauma. He has no idea how my brain works. And it doesn’t matter. Thomas takes me at face value. If I tell him I’m struggling, he tries to help me (and he doesn’t burn out, because it’s actually not that difficult to hold someone and tell them they’re loved). If I tell him my brain doesn’t work a certain way, and/or that I have trouble processing certain things, he respects that. If I’m triggered and have a trauma response, he is present, he asks if he can hold me (he always, always asks, it’s very sweet), he doesn’t take it personally, and he works hard to be a pillar of support for me, even though he knows it won’t magically fix everything. I never in my life thought I would have a partner like this. I never in my life thought I would have a partner who accepts me point blank, with no addendums or qualifiers.

I would take empathy without understanding over understanding without empathy any day of the week.

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After this interaction, I’m hoping that if and when I’m triggered, especially if it’s in a similar way, it’ll be easier for me to find my head and calm down. Maybe I’ll even be able to stop the trauma response early. I don’t want to put expectations on it. But now, understanding what occurred internally for Thomas that night, and experiencing his undiluted and unaffected love despite witnessing me breakdown, I have the impression that perhaps next time (and there will be a next time, I know where I am in my healing), I’ll have slightly more awareness and I’ll be a little bit more grounded in reality. Even being able to reflect the way I was only a few hours after I dissociated so intensely is a really good sign. I’m counting it as progress.

It’s really amazing what having a supportive partner does, and how much you can grow if you surround yourself with people who see you as a person, and not as a chore.

#mental health #mental illness #trigger #triggered #triggers #abuse #healing #love #patience #trauma #trauma response

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sonicthecringehog · 3 years

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you think me saying someone doesn't care about you is really abusive? yeah i see you posting about me in your discord.

TW: ABUSE; R*PE, SUICIDE, GASLIGHTING. Alrighty gather 'round children - I think I know exactly who you are now so I'm going to lay it down for you, maybe this is me being a sociopath with a victim complex as ableist as that sounds to my followers. Allow me to educate you, even if you think this is manipulation too~ Now, I may have grown up very privileged - considering my mother had escaped literal poverty, and my father escaping a cycle of intergenerational trauma from actual abuse. I will never deny that and I am grateful for all of the things I have and have worked hard for myself. But dude I have clinically diagnosed PTSD that I only just found out about last week after spending a few days in an actual psych ward - they genuinely thought I possibly had either bipolar disorder or schizophrenia because of how bad of a state I was in, I couldn't eat or sleep for days. I learned that when I rushed into a convenience store crying and shaking, and just apologizing constantly because I didn't even have a mask and my phone was dead, so I had no idea how to get to the hospital. I did not want to be turned away yet again out of looking like a walking stereotype (looking at you, Karens). And just before that, confession I broke into a friend’s house because I took his word literally that the door is always open, and someone convinced me I was gaslighting the both of them which is exactly what sent me spiralling to begin with. But anyway, the people at the store were really understanding even if it was just a liability thing, and they called the police for me, and the police contacted a social worker for me to get my story out and they all reassured me that I was doing the right thing - and eventually, I got the help I needed and I realized it's time to take back my life once and for all.

Not even strong antipsychotics like olanzapine, what I'm currently prescribed with, helps me in those times. I wake up with cold sweats, I have constant nightmares I don't tell people about because I don't want to fuck them up the way I got this way. And now I understand why my aunt from my dad's side of the family who was apparently schizophrenic took her own life, and never told anyone her struggles either. And why my dad was so overprotective of me for so long. You see, I live in constant fear for my life because I have dealt with actually violent, clinical psychopaths who only think for themselves and will instead lie through their teeth to make it seem like they'd changed. And they stalk you or just cling onto you, to try and find every little detail about you to use as ammo against you because they know they can, and will manipulate people into thinking you're the one abusing them and manipulating everyone around you until they have no use for you anymore. Lots of shit happened but honestly if I just accepted that "no one cares" and I just learned to "shut the fuck up and think before I speak," like my actual abusers would say... I'd be a single mother living in poverty right now, and I would probably have lost custody of that child to my one abuser at that time because he is exactly like this. I don't like talking about it because I know how triggering it is for some and this might blow up again like a lot of my "controversial" posts, but if I didn't accidentally stress and overwork myself into having a miscarriage in the bathroom at my work, I would have become the walking stereotype my other abusers would try to implant in people's minds. And I feel horrible and responsible for all the shit I'm causing now, because I know of people with diagnosed NPD or ASPD and they're trying to better themselves, and do their part in the world without hurting people. You really can't win no matter what side you're on. Hell, I developed a saviour complex over the course of a few years because I've seen some vulnerable people get taken advantage of like this, too without ever understanding why so they constantly find themselves being abused without realizing it, it's heartbreaking to me. I was r*ped at 7, not from the stereotypical creepy uncle. But a girl my own age who I'm pretty sure was abused herself, which is why I never held anything against her. Maybe it's my Stockholm Syndrome talking again. Regardless, I learned that you can't change a person. The only person you can change is yourself. However, sometimes those strangers who show basic human decency knowing one's past, are that ultimate kick in the ass to motivate people to save themselves.

So let this ask post be a lesson to all of you. These kinds of abusers I had also knew exactly how to dogwhistle me to try and get a reaction, exactly what to say and how to act in front of authority figures - to manipulate them into thinking I was the abuser or whatever ableist walking stereotype they wanted people to think. Hence, I was gaslighted into thinking I was on the autism spectrum my whole life by the people around me growing up, and that my close family and friends were the “real” abusers even though they were trying to help but didn’t know how... without these people even realizing who the real culprits were. Growing up being The Girl Who Cried Wolf even when you did nothing you were aware of, fucks you up for life, my friend. And that's exactly what they wanted. Maybe I do need a break from social media as even my family doctor says, maybe I do need to let myself be "cancelled" again to grow stronger from this. Because I'm not saying you specifically are abusive or a bad person per se, because I don’t even know who you are, I could have easily deleted and ignored this. But just let people live and stop trying to take away what little innocence they have left that they lost at a very early age... out of being too comfortable in your own magical fantasy world of self-pity to get your own shit together. Because shit like this is exactly why I overwork myself and get these "manic" episodes as my abusers called it, as live in fear that I might actually get shot one day when things seem to finally be stable and peaceful. Hell, I might never be able to get a real job because of shit like this. But if you want to report my posts again on my Instagram which I'm pretty sure was you at this point, go right ahead. Because you need to grow the fuck up... and to the other people reading this, don't ever let anyone tell you that no one cares or your feelings aren't valid, because there are people who do understand and will help you, even if to them you're just a passerby on the street. Because people do care.

This kind of cancel culture and bullying people out of getting help without giving them a chance to explain themselves, while doxxing and overanalyzing every post one says to use against them... has been so normalized in our society that we often do glorify the people who show basic human decency. When it should have been the standard all along. On to the point, I wish you all a wonderful journey to a beautiful recovery too - I might not be active for a bit because I think I need a break ^_^'

TL;DR: Don't feed the trolls, kiddies, but don't let them win out of fear that no one will believe you even with concrete proof. To make a bad Sonic reference - if you see someone abusing their power over you and doesn't want you to thrive because they think you're nothing more than some welfare queen attention whore... THATS NO GOOD~

(Also excuse all the edits, I’ve been spiralling mentally because holy shit I don’t appreciate being stalked and doxxed y’all regardless of who is doing this... so I’m keeping this post up as a reminder to all of you to just not feed the trolls and keep moving forward. Hell, someone on Snapchat kept stupidly adding me by my number for a few months on and off, so this is why I get in these situations where I’m kiiiinda scared for my life. I admitted myself to the hospital but ended up leaving after asking for resources for these kinds of situational crises. Oof. ^_^”)

Anyways, toodle-oo fuck you too bitch. ;)

~ Serena

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cecilspeaks · 4 years

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170 - To the Family and Friends

Love the winner, hate the win. Welcome to Night Vale.

I start today with sad news. I must inform you of the passing of Intern Victor. To the friends and family of Intern Victor, we extend our condolences. Oh, that reminds me. Our intern program has a new open spot available. Hours are flexible, as is time itself. You must be fluent in at least three languages, although one of those can be your own dream language, and another can be a future language that doesn’t yet exist. This is an entry level position. All applicants must have 30 years experience in the field of community radio, and have been the managing director of at least 2 radio stations, or equivalent unregistered stations broadcasting coded messages to our brave spies in the field. This is a non-paying position, but we do give you 4 credits to the institutions of your choice. Please apply in person by groveling before the Station Management door and crying: “Choose me! Choose me!” as their tendrils draw you slowly toward them. I look forward to meeting whoever is hired. Always so fun when we get a new intern.

And now for a look at the day’s news. The Night Vale Medical Association has ordered a review of the management of Night Vale Asylum, after a number of irregularities have cropped up involving a transdimensional missing plane and a pilot who could control people’s thoughts. “Honestly, we had a lot of cases like that back in the 60’s,” said Lonnie Chapman, chairman of the Medical Association. “Mental institutions used to be cruel places, where the fragile rift between dimensions was regularly breached and telekinetic powers were exploited. And people were treated as less than people, for the simple crime of having an illness that could not be found in the blood or the bile.” Lonnie settled back into the sagging comfort of his old arm chair, sighed and rubbed his forehead. “We endeavour to help, not to other,” he whispered. “It should be common sense, this kindness. Why is kindness not common sense?” He said this last so quietly that no one heard him. Dust motes circled tirelessly in the afternoon sun through the window. The Night Vale Medical Association is looking to shut down the outdated asylum and replace it with a brand new state of the art treatment center, located near Grove Park. More on this story as the story has more to it.

I guess I should get into a little more detail about how Intern Victor died, since some of you might be curious. You know, I think the story starts back in my very first days as host of this radio station. After the previous host, Leonard Burton, after – umm… ehhhh.. Once I took over as host of this radio station, Victor was one of my first interns. Eager and earnest and always helpful. He was first in the station in the morning and last one out at night. His research was impeccable.

“That’s not true,” he would say every time I said something that wasn’t true. “That’s not true either,” he would say. He would say stuff like that a lot. He was very diligent. It kind of felt like we were starting this great adventure in radio broadcasting together. I thought that some day after I… after… ehhhhh.. ummm… once I was no longer host of this radio station, perhaps Victor would be the one to take over. “Some day, Victor,” I would murmur in the quietest hours of the night shift, “Some day maybe you will be where I am now.” “Maybe, Cecil,” he would say back into the intercom from the producer’s booth, “But for now, please stop murmuring that into the mic. We’re live right now. Then one day he told me he was leaving. That he appreciated all the time he had spent as an intern, that he had learned a lot, but that he felt his place in the world was not with radio after all. [sputters] “Not with radio?!” I sputtered. I simply did not understand the concept. “If there is not community radio, then what is there? What is there besides that? Will someone tell me what else there is?” “Thank you for our time together,” he said gently, and then he left. It would be the last time I saw him for many years.

And now a word from our sponsors. Today’s sponsor is White Claw’s new line of non-alcoholic alcoholic Seltzer beverages. Listen, everyone loves a good carbonated beverage. On a hot day, out at the beach, or not at the beach, the two places it is possible to be. It’s great to just pop one of those bad boys open and really let that water with bubbles rip on your gullet. But not everyone likes to drink alcohol, for a variety of reasons that are never ever your business. Just don’t ask or bring it up. It’s so easy to not do that. That’s why White Claw is proud to announce the newest version of our alcoholic Seltzer beverage, now without alcohol! It’s everything you loved about Seltzer water, but for the first time, you don’t have to get intoxicated. Flavors include blackberry, wild nettle, wet stone, and one we’re just calling “Tumbleweed Crush”. Even we aren’t completely clear on what that one tastes like, but hey, it’s water and it’ll make you burp without making you drunk. White Claw’s new line of non-alcoholic alcoholic Seltzer beverages. Available wherever you buy your alcoholic Seltzer beverages. This has been a word from our sponsors.

I didn’t finish with the story of how Intern Victor died, I guess. Ummm, let me quickly wrap that up. So, a few years after he left, he came back again. He was older than me now with salt and pepper hair and a stiffness to his walk. When he had left, he had been several years younger than me, but time changes us all, I suppose. “Cecil! I didn’t know if you’d still be here,” he said. I bristled at this, hearing a perceived implication that I should have gone on to something larger, that by staying put I had allowed him to be pull ahead of me in some intangible way. So I responded with manic friendliness to compensate. “Still here!” I shouted. “Great to see ya, buddy wo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-how! What have you been up to?” He told me that he had left Night Vale, gotten an apartment just outside of somewhere called Fresno, that it was difficult at first, and that he felt lonely much of the time. But that he had slowly made friends, so many friends, and had found a job that became a career that became part of his life. He worked with teenagers who were going through a tough time, seeing them through to better times. He was very well liked for what he did, and he was very good at it. “But I’ve decided to retire,” he said. “I’m getting up in the years, you know? But wow, you don’t look like you’ve aged a day.” “I haven’t,” I said. He was so much older than me then. I wondered where the years had gone and what I might have accomplished, if I had aged as well. He had retired to Night Vale to be with his family and friends and the people who knew and loved him best, and relax into the soft years of his latter life. So that… wait. Well, that’s not how he died, but I have to get to this next report. I’ll finish it in a second.

And now traffic. There was a song once sung by sailors of an island in the west, where the sun would shine forever and not a minute less. They say that on that island a sailor could find their rest, finally let slip shut their eyelids on that island in the west. But I’ve been searching, and been searching all my life, as though some cruel test, and have never found my way to that island in the west. There was a song once sung by sailors and I believed it, I confess. A foul lie I still believe in, my sweet island in the west. This has been traffic.

Intern Victor lived in Night Vale for many years more. He was active in charities and volunteer groups, continuing to offer counseling to students at the local high school. He lived in the Hefty Sycamore Trailer Park, watering a garden of flowers that he kept in pots around his trailer. It seemed that Victor was even more busy in retirement than he had been in his long career. Returning to his community seemed to invigorate him. He helped Carlos with experiments at the labs, donning goggles and lab coats and writing down numbers with hearts around them, all of that science stuff. Carlos said he was surprisingly good at it for someone without training. He worked with Dana at City Hall, creating the No More Pit initiative, which strove to keep one teen a year from entering that pit on Clement Street and disappearing forever. Now, the initiative was unsuccessful and the pit continues to devour but they, it was the attempt that matters. He acted as a volunteer lifeguard at the Waterfront Recreation Area, at which he saved a record five people in one day from drowning! A truly astounding record when you consider that there is no water at the Waterfront Recreation Area, Night Vale having an entirely arid climate.

Yes, Intern Victor was accomplished and well liked. He would have made a fine host at this radio station some day, but he never showed much interest, which is a pity. Because after I… After, well… Who will take up that mantle? Not Victor, not anymore. Well, I guess I still haven’t told the story of how he died.

Uh, let me do that just After the weather.

[A List for Spring” by Joseph Fink https://josephfink.bandcamp.com/]

Victor was in bed. The curatin over the window shifted slightly in the breeze, so the sun flickered in the room, shadow and bright, like a message from the world outside that he would never live to understand. His breath felt like a finite quantity, slowly drawn out of his chest. He knew that the last of it was coming soon. He wanted to use the drags of his breath for words that would sum up his life, but he couldn’t think of any. He could only think of “I am tired”. He could only think of “Thank you for being here.” He could only think of “I wish I had more time”, although eh didn’t know what he would have done with that time if he had any.

Around his bed were the people who had known him throughout his life. There was his sister Carly, and his brother Herman, and his aunt Ronnie, ancient and brittle but apparently destined to outlive him. There was his friend from college, Norm, whose hands shook as he looked into Victor’s eyes. There was former mayor Dana and her brother, leaning into each other in sorrow, keeping each other upright as a family creature of grief. There was Carlos in an understated lab coat, frowning. There was nothing more scientific than death, and yet Carlos hated the fact of it. And he wrestled with the contradiction within himself. Some natural processes feel unnatural, no matter how many times they occur to us, they are a surprise that our whole life spends telegraphing.

In the corner was Rosario, one of the teenagers Victor had worked with back in Fresno, who had eventually moved to Night Vale after getting lost in the shelves of a strange antique shop and waking up in the vacant lot out back of the Ralphs. She was middle-aged now, her face glistened with tears. “Everything I am is because of you,” she said. Victor snorted. “Don’t blame me,” he said with one of those last precious breaths. And she grinned despite herself. “You were the first person that cared about who I was,” she said. “I’ll never forget you.” “Already I’m in past tense,” he said, but he grabbed her hand and clasped it in a fervent silent thank you. Because she was testament that he had been useful, and there was nothing more important in a human life than to be useful to other people.

I was there too, and I stepped forward. “You were the best intern I ever had,” I said. “I know,” he said, and he winked.

It can be… strange when we first meet someone when they are young and just started out, and are in the entry positions in the career they want, to realize they have the potential for an entire life. Victor ended up a great man. A man with deep roots in the community. A man who went from 10 years younger than me to several decades older than me. And I… well, I still think of him as an intern, and I suppose I always will, but his potential was realized upon the lives of everyone in that room, and many other lives still.

A strong breeze came through the window and the flickering of light increased, as though that incoherent messenger was getting more frantic to be understood. Victor knew that his finite breaths had reached their last few. And he did not use them to say anything at all. He smiled, and met each of our eyes, and then… And then after…

To the family and friends of Intern Victor. To the family. To our families, blood or chosen. They are the net on which we can fall again and again. To the friends, to our friends. The people who make life worth living. Who help us when we need help. Who we help when we need to help.

Intern Victor was a good intern. He was a good person. He is gone. We are here. Let’s make ourselves useful. To all families. To all friends.

Stay tuned next for a tall glass of water greedily, drunk by a person who did not realize they were thirsty until the liquid hit their lips.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Earth is technically a sandwich, where the upper bread is stars and the lower bread is stars and the filling is rock and lava and a few incidental humans.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcrfpts #episode 170 #to the family and friends

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cringe-phase · 3 years

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Sisterhood of the Travelling Deleted Scene

This is the deleted alternate beginning of....many abandoned ideas. First it was gonna be a quick one-shot to practice stuff in preparation for a multichapter project, but I decided to just start the multichapter instead. I tried to make this work for the beginning of “One Two Three (Four)”, but I was too sold on Draxum being the cause for Don’s amnesia, so I rewrote it and liked the new beginning better anyway. Then I tried to make it work for two other ideas that I quickly lost interest in for being too serious--I like my lighthearted moments too much.

Nowadays I think it's destined to be forever unfinished...but I still dig it even without a use...so, here just take it in it's abandoned and unedited glory.

Summary: The brothers stumble upon the Foot Clan and get into a fight on the rooftop when Donnie gets blindsided. Takes place early Season 1.

Disclaimer: characters use the concept of using a crutch as an insult and is not a reflection of what the author thinks.

It had all started so well.

Four brothers were on their way to their go-to pizza joint. The pizza joint was in no way their favorite, it was simply their go-to because it was owned by a Yokai and therefore they could dine in for once and enjoy an atmosphere that wasn’t a sewer. They adored their home and all, but no windows and the same view day in and day out would be a bummer to any free spirited teen. So off they went for some well-deserved pizza and socialization on the same night that the universe decided that today it was going to roll the dice.

It was Mikey that spotted the breaking and entering taking place. The little orange turtle immediately pointed it out, and much to the middle children’s displeasure, Raphael’s moral responsibility steered them to the crimes instead of the pizza. Said displeasure was expressed through groans and claims of “The police can handle it, not every little thing had to be our problem bro”, but was quickly silenced by the reveal of the perps and this week’s villain of the week.

“It’s those flame head guys again. For such a big city, we run into them a lot.” Raph pointed out, scratching his chin as they perched on the building next door.

“I think they have a stealing things obsession--”

“Kleptomania.” The purple turtle interrupted the slider.

“--they’re always breaking and entering when we find them.” Leo ignored his brother.

“I mean, that’s probably in the bad guy job description.” Michelangelo said from his seat on Raph’s shoulders.

“....D’you think they’re hiring?”

“Leo!” Raph scolded and Leonardo immediately shrugged unapologetically.

“Whaaat? It was just a little question.”

“No, you are hereby BANNED from joining the bad guys!” Raph nodded at the finality and jumped to the roof of the break-in-in-progress.

Donatello casually joined his blue banded brother’s side as Raph leapt with Mikey still on his shoulders. Leo glanced at him curiously.

“What do you think the pay’s like? Theoretically.” Donatello asked with an interested tone.

“Better than ours probably, considering we don’t get paid.” Leo crossed his arms to pout. “But Raph said we can’t. Oh well.”

“No,” Donatello smirked and looked at his brother slyly before lightly bonking him on the forehead with his tech bo, “Raph said you can’t.”

“What?! Donnie?!?!” Leo gaped as his snickering brother leapt off to join the rest of their quartet. He pouted as he jumped after him, fully intending to snitch on the purple teammate but immediately getting shushed by Raphael upon joining. “I didn’t even--”

“Shh, Leo, look!” Raph gestured to the turning of the knob of the stairway door to the roof. “Hide, now!”

The turtles had just barely all gotten into hiding spots as the door finally swung open, the hand on the doorknob connecting to a large brutish guy. The Brute held the door open for his skinny partner.

“I thought I heard something out here.” The Brute said, suspiciously looking around.

“I told you,” His Lieutenant said, “You need to get your tinnitus looked at.”

“I don’t think it was that Boss, it’s not even that bad.”

“Then you’re being paranoid.”

“I’m tellin’ you, Boss, I’m onto something! Everywhere we go those turtles show up!”

“Hey!” Although Mikey was whispering, he was doing so quite loudly. “They’re talking about us!!”

“Mikey shhh!” Leonardo slapped his hand over his younger brother’s mouth, nervously peeking back around the structure they had both hidden behind. The Foot representatives hadn’t noticed them, and Leo breathed a sigh of relief. He could see Donatello hidden smartly behind the structure with the door the bad guys had walked out of, ready to move counter to their location to remain hidden indefinitely, and Raphael was camouflaged as a gargoyle perched on the corner of the building just out of the light enough to be a vague shape. He looked to his brothers to gauge what the plan was going to be and ignored Michelangelo’s tapping on his wrist. Were they going to wait out the bad guys and follow them in like real ninjas? Were they going to ambush right here right now? Was Donnie hacking into the building right now to locate what the Foot was even here for?

All of a sudden Leo’s hand was warm and wet. “Ew!” He recoiled his hand back and looked at his little brother, betrayed.

“Hey, who’s there?!”

Leonardo hastily started wiping his hand on his brother’s head, ignoring his quiet protests and peeked out from their hiding spot and met the eyes of the Brute. He yelped and quickly hid again.

“Look! Boss it’s the turtles, I told you!” Brute exclaimed. “They’re here just like always!”

“Enough of your conspiracies, just deal with them!” The Lieutenant commanded as he started folding paper faster than an average human.

Leo swore as the Brute ran towards them and grabbed Mikey by his shell to move him out of the way while he wiped his own spit off of himself. A fist came down on their hiding spot as Leo threw Mikey out of the way and ran the opposite direction to get some distance.

“Leo! Mikey!” Raphael sprung into action as the Brute turned to pursue his blue brother. A trio of origami soldiers poofed into existence and cut him off. “We were supposed to be stealthy!”

“He licked me!” Leonardo complained as he dodged a swing and backflipped onto the roof of the doorway. “It caught me off guard!”

“Mikey!” Raph scolded as he blocked a punch and threw one of his own.

“I couldn’t breathe! He wouldn’t move his hand off of my face!” Michelangelo defended as he ran to assist his eldest brother.

“All of my brothers are evil!” Leo continued on his drama streak.

Donatello emerged from his hiding spot in the shadows and landed a surprise attack on the Brute, his tech bo in its hammer format and sent the bad guy to the ground momentarily. “Can we save the family bickering until after we are no longer in combat?!”

“Why do you say that like this is a game?” The Brute asked from the ground, curious. “This is real life, kid, we could really hurt you.”

“Roll for initiative!!” Donnie yelled as a battle cry, using his bo to vault himself over the Brute and toward the Lieutenant, smacking into a hastily made Origami soldier instead while Raph hurried to cover him.

Combat was successfully initiated. Origami soldiers were created and fists continued to fly. (Do better transition)

“As much as I love the impromptu field test of my new tech bo addition,” Donatello swung his bo with a manic grin, the chainsaw application tearing apart the paper soldiers like they were butter, “We’re going to be here all night if we don’t focus on the source!”

“Oh yeah,” Michelangelo thoughtfully added, “Like the spawners in Minecraft! They’re just gonna keep coming forever.”

“I mean, we actually have a decent handle on this. Plus I’m kinda having fun shredding these bozos!” Leonardo had taken the opportunity to practice some more extravagant swings and flourishes. Since upgrading to a single sword he’s been curious about pulling off one of those fancy spin-attacks he’s seen on some fighting games.

“Yeah I’m down with downing more of these paper pawns!” Mikey agreed, eyes alight as he set some origami soldiers ablaze with his mystical kusari-fundo.

“Ok so we got two for having fun with these jerks for once, how about--”

“Raph would like to hurry and be done here!” Raphael yelled from his side of the battlefield, punching a stray origami soldier as he dodged another punch from the Brute.

“You didn’t have to crash our outings, y’know.” The Brute mumbled.

Donatello sighed as he shredded another group of paper soldiers into confetti before activating his battle shell to initiate hover mode. He flew above the field, his younger brothers immediately picking up his slack and cutting through his share of soldiers, and zeroed in on the Lieutenant frantically making origami man after origami man like a well-oiled machine. Honestly, the speed in which he pumped those out was admirable. But, Donatello wanted pizza and he was bored shredding the same kind of enemy multiple times a minute.

Spinning his tech bo back into its bo format, Donatello dove towards the Origami-spawner and swung, narrowly missing as the Lieutenant jumped out of the way. The jets of the Battle Shell whirred as he hovered back into the air, glaring down at the man with a cocky grin. A better challenge than the Origami Soldiers, which the flame-headed human kept folding and throwing into the battle as he dodged Donnie’s dives.

Donatello swung again and the Lieutenant ducked and blew a raspberry, much to Donnie’s annoyance. He could feel his eye’s want to twitch but honed his willpower to keep it at bay, honing in on taking this disrespectful villain down.

His tunnel vision left him blindsided by the paper hand that grabbed his ankle and slammed him back to the ground, another immediately jumping into his shell jet pack to sabotage any attempts to flee to the skies. He glared up at the human puppeteer, grin replaced by a frustrated frown.

“Not so tough without your little gadget, are you?” The Lieutenant rasped, now the one with the cocky grin. He circled the turtle, examining the spluttering jets shredding the fingers of the paper soldiers holding it down. “Why does a turtle need a fake shell anyway? Is it like a crutch?”

The “crutch” in question immediately sprang free from the purple turtle’s back, sending it and the paper man attached to it directly into the Lieutenant. Donatello immediately swung his bo to swat his legs free of soldiers and jumped to his feet. His glare upon the man sharpened.

“I don’t need a crutch.” He growled, softshell open to the evening breeze. It wasn't a sensation he was used to, but capable of ignoring nonetheless. He raised a judgmental eyebrow at the twitch of the Lieutenant's hands on paper. "Do you?"

The Flame Head immediately halted his folding and narrowed his otherworldly eyes at the teen. He knew he was being baited--he did the same thing to the kid--but he couldn't back down lest his honor and ego take a hit.

Lou Jitsu would meet the challenge head on.

The Foot Lieutenant tossed his paper to the side and took a defensive pose.

#tmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #fanfic #My writing #there the shakles are unbound go be free my child #cringe compilation

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elsaclack · 4 years

Note

ben x leslie and 20, 38, 63, 78... honestly whatever you wanna do literally any number on the entire list

HONESTLY GOD BLESS YA MALLORY

20. “It’s three in the morning…”38. “That wasn’t what I asked.”63. “You’re amazing, did you know that?”78. “Well, it didn’t seem important at the time.”

Ben, for the record, doesn’t put much stock in the idea of a mystical cosmos. He’s a hard facts kind of guy - a proof-is-in-the-pudding kind of guy - and despite the fact that Donna has spent many (many) hours forcing him to listen to her read through his various horoscope predictions, Ben remains firmly rooted in reality.

But if he did believe - if there was a mystical invisible force influencing the world around him - he’d guess the early morning hours of a random Wednesday in March would be his cosmic penance for every stupid decision he’s ever made in his life (namely, Ice Town).

He’s not sure, initially, what rouses him from sleep - one moment he’s adrift in inky black unconsciousness, the next he’s blinking up at the erratic shadows cast across his bedroom ceiling by the ceiling fan whirring on its highest setting. And despite the fact that he’s suitably disoriented, he immediately knows two things:

First, it’s extremely early in the morning.

Second, he’s alone in his bed.

The second is the more pressing fact at present, given that he was definitely not alone when he fell asleep some time earlier. He lets out a quiet groan as his fingers stretch across empty space to his left, searching for the soft body he already knows is not there. He turns his head to blink blearily at the empty pillow, and just as his eyes focus on the rumpled sheets, he hears a noise out in the kitchen.

Adrenaline floods his veins and all at once, he’s awake, kicking his comforter and sheets down to the foot of the bed and stumbling to his feet. It’s not an altogether uncommon phenomenon to hear a loud noise in the middle of the night as of late considering he lives with Andy and April, resident king and queen of weird, but he worries all the same - there is such a thing as crime, and raccoons, and crime raccoons, probably.

The master bedroom door is cracked open when he makes it out into the hall, April’s pale face illuminated in the scant light. She glares at him when he emerges, dark eyes darting between his face and the kitchen at the end of the hall. “Is that a burglar?” she hisses.

“I dunno,” Ben whispers over his shoulder, stalking down the hallway on the balls of his feet. He hears another noise - a pan hitting a hard surface - and then a quiet curse in a familiar voice. The tension leaves his shoulders automatically, before he’s even fully processed what he’s heard.

Leslie’s in the kitchen, only her torso visible through the space between the counter and the upper cabinets, and Ben isn’t sure if he wants to throw something (something soft, of course) at her for scaring him or just curl up right there on the floor until she’s finished. He pauses at the end of the hallway, watching her move around the kitchen, wondering if she’s ignoring him or if she’s completely oblivious to his presence. Behind him, he feels April craning around his shoulder to get a look - she scoffs a half-second later, loud enough that Leslie starts, crouching down to stare at them with owlish eyes wide with surprise.

“Are you serious?” April deadpans, voice just barely hoarse with sleep. “What the hell are you doing?”

Leslie blinks glancing down at the carton of eggs in her left hand. “Making breakfast?” she mumbles.

“Leslie, it’s…” he squints at the clock mounted to the wall beside the doorway and immediately digs his fingertips into his temple. “It’s three in the morning, is - is now really the best time to make breakfast?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she shrugs, and April releases a quiet, menacing growl behind him. “Might as well do something useful with my time, right? Can’t just lay around doing nothing all day -”

“You’re right,” he gently interrupts, waving a hand behind his back at April. “But it’s the middle of the night, aren’t you tired?”

“Breakfast isn’t gonna make itself, Ben, and JJ’s doesn’t open until seven, so that’s four hours to kill and I’m gonna kill them making pre-waffle eggs and bacon.”

She sets about working again, resolutely ignoring them both, and with a long sigh, Ben half-turns back toward April. “I’ll take care of this,” he murmurs quietly.

“You’d better,” April mutters. “I keep a machete in the hall closet, I will kill you both if she wakes Andy up.”

She retreats back down the hall before he can think of a response, only turning back to shoot her middle finger at him just before her bedroom door closes once more; with one last steadying sigh, he turns back toward the kitchen and slowly makes his way toward Leslie.

Her energy is borderline manic - once again, not unfamiliar, but certainly unsettling. She ignores him as he pushes himself up to perch on an empty stretch of counter space, ignores him clearing his throat, even ignores him gently bumping his heels against the cabinet doors below him in a repetitive hollow thunk.

“Leslie,” he tries, and she shakes her head - quick, almost imperceptive, like the beat of a hummingbird’s wings mid-flight. “Leslie, honey, what’s going on?”

“I told you, I’m making breakfast. Should I make French toast?”

“Leslie,” he says again, firmer than before, and she pauses. “That wasn’t what I asked. What’s going on?”

In the moonlight spilling through the kitchen windows, he can clearly see how stiff and tense her back and shoulders are. She turns her head a degree - not toward him, perse, but at an upward angle - and she lets out a slow, quiet sigh. “My - my campaign managers pulled out earlier,” she says softly.

His heart drops - he thought she’d seemed off before bed, but he’d chalked it up to the crappy narration on that World War II documentary they’d watched together after she came over and the whole not being allowed to go to work thing. She turns to face him, hands planted on the edge of the counter, and he’s fairly certain the flat grimace on her face is meant to be something like a brave smile. He shakes his head, and she drops her gaze to the kitchen floor. “I’m so sorry,” he says softly.

She purses her lips and shrugs. “Probably shouldn’t be surprised,” she says after a moment, and now her voice has that razor-thin quality it always takes on before she starts crying. “They want a safe bet, and - I’m not that anymore. I’d never take it back,” she adds, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t feel at least a little relieved. “I just - I don’t know. I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

He nods, gaze fixated on his knees, trying and failing to pretend like he can’t hear Leslie hiding her sniffle with a cough, briefly wondering why he ever thought the days after his impeachment would be the worst he would ever feel. “Leslie…” he trails, slowly running the palms of his hands over his thighs. There are words, there must be words, and if he finds the exact right words and says them in the exact right order, he can make everything okay again. She sniffles again - louder than before - and all the air in his lungs escapes in a long, slow breath. “You’re amazing. Did you know that?”

He sees her rear back a little, confusion written across her features. “Huh?”

“You’re amazing.” he repeats with a little more conviction than before. “You’re an amazing human being. I’ve never met anyone as smart, as kind, as passionate as you. You are the best candidate that will run for that position,” he says seriously. “If they can’t see that - it’s their loss. You are amazing.”

She pushes off the counter and quickly stalks toward him, fitting herself in the space between his knees with ease. He curves his spine to meet her, lifting both hands to cup her face, letting his fingers sift through the soft hairs at the base of her skull. Her kiss is slower than her usual speed, but it’s no less ardent; despite the heaviness still clinging to the air around them, he feels her lips curving up into a smile against him and her hands sliding up his legs and around his sides to touch the small portion of his butt that isn’t against the countertop.

He pecks the end of her nose when she pulls away, and then her forehead, smiling at the quiet giggle she muffles with her hand. She falls into his embrace easily, her head slotted into the curve of his neck, and he thinks - not for the first time - that he could probably stay exactly like this forever and be the happiest man who ever lived. He reaches up to touch the back of her head, slowly, gently combing his fingers through her hair, and she releases a contented sigh. “I’m sorry that I’ve been complete poison to your campaign,” he murmurs.

She stiffens a little, but doesn’t pull away. “You’re not poison,” she mutters, fingers flexing against him.

“I am to your campaign.”

She’s quiet a moment, considering it. “Okay, maybe. Maybe to my campaign. But only to my campaign. You’re amazing, too, Wyatt.”

He plants his lips against the side of her head, hiding his smile in her hair, and she gently pats his lower back. “This is gonna work out,” he says after a beat of comfortable silence.

She breathes against him for a minute, no other sound passing between them. “How do you know?”

Her voice is quiet, uncertain, and it ignites something deep and primal in the pit of his belly. “Because I know you,” he says with a shrug, and she laughs when the movement jostles her head. “You’re too tenacious to take things lying down. You fight, and because you fight, things work out in the end. This is no different.”

She pulls back, a genuine smile lighting the delicate features of her face, and he’s struck with bone-deep adoration. “I love you,” she says - quietly, marveling, like she’s the one who can’t quite believe they have this back.

“I love you more,” he says back, grinning at the quiet laughter it elicits from her. She pushes up to the balls of her feet, still laughing when she kisses him, and he swears he can feel the vibrations all the way down in his toes. She falls back to her heels, hands finally sliding away from his butt to halfway down his thighs; she leans against him a moment, studying the small disaster frozen in time around the sink. “You know most of that stuff expired last month, right?” he asks quietly.

“Really? I didn’t even think to check the expiration dates -”

“This is Andy and April’s house, you should always check expiration dates.”

She laughs again, and it tapers off into a sigh. “Well, it didn’t seem important at the time,” she admits with a shrug.

He snorts and slides off the counter, stepping up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist and plant his chin against her shoulder. “Come back to bed,” he murmurs, brushing his lips against the exposed skin of her neck. She shivers and tilts her head to the side, granting him better access. “You don’t have to sleep…”

“Oh…do you want to -”

“We can, but mostly April threatened us both with the machete she apparently keeps in the hall closet if we wake Andy up while we’re out here.”

Leslie straightens up, head turned just enough that she meets his gaze. “We should go.” she says very seriously.

“You think she has an actual machete in the house?”

“Oh, without a doubt. We should go. Quietly.”

#parks and recreation #parks and rec #leslie x ben #benslie #benslie fanfiction #my parks fics #that's a tag now #!!!!!!!!#prompt request #benjiwyatt

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a-vintage-snake · 4 years

Text

The Mountains Are Calling And I Must Go

Pairing(s): Romantic Dukeceit

Warnings: Self deprecation, mentions of shitty parenting, Remus being Remus Characters: Deceit Sanders, Remus Sanders, Virgil and Roman are there for like a paragraph, Logan is mentioned exactly once.

Summary: There lives a warlock in the mountains, and Remus is determined to hunt him down.

Word Count: 4861

Edit: This is now officially has a sequel! Read it here

Read on AO3 Author’s Note: I love Deceit and Remus, and I wrote this instead of sleeping

There lived a warlock in the mountains. At least that was what Remus was counting on. So far he hadn’t gotten a glance of the fucker yet, but he was nothing but optimistic.

He spurred his horse on for what felt like the thousandth time that hour. Realistically, Remus knew that the mare was exhausted and they both needed sleep soon. But he didn’t want to waste time resting when he could find his goal (hopefully) any minute now! The sun was nearly setting and he wanted to explore as much ground as he could while he could still travel without risking falling down one of the mountain’s cliffs that twisted alongside the path he was following. What would it be like to fall down from such a height? Would he crunch his head on the spikey rocks below? Splatter his brain in a pretty pattern on the rocks- Or maybe he would fall with his feet first, causing his bones to rip through his flesh and- Remus shook his head to chase away the thoughts like an annoying fly. Usually he would delight in thinking all the options through, but not right now. He had a mission goddammit, and it needed all his attention.

He had heard all the stories of this warlock figure. All the vague whispers that people would delight in telling and listening to, despite the fear. The warlock ate children who got lost in the woods; he took young men and women to experiment on them in his hidden castle. Tell him your name, and he would take control over your mind. He hid away in the Desolate Mountains, waiting for the day he could capture the kingdom for himself. He was the kingdom’s greatest threat. The warlock was a monster. At this point of the stories Remus always interrupted saying that he thought “Desolate Mountains” was a really lazy fucking name and honestly where was the name giver’s creativity? This was always followed by the storyteller and listeners screaming at him to get away, we never invite you for a reason, we don’t want you here, how did you even get in here but Remus always prided himself in asking the questions people would rather not ask, hear or experience. That’s how he found himself at one point sitting atop the worktable of the court sorcerer. “So this warlock fellow-” “Your Grace, could you kindly get off my work?” “How would one kill him? Is it like vampires? Stake through the heart? Although really, you can kill anything with a stake through the heart, why do vampires think they’re so special?” Remus sent a wide grin towards the purple-clad figure on the other end of the table, who was glaring at him so hard his pupils were barely visible through the dark marks around his eyes. The court sorcerer looked ready to summon the shadows he controlled so effortlessly, and have them throw Remus out of the nearest window. Ha, jokes on him though! That would be considered treason! “Or is it more like witches? Burn him at the stake? Or drown him? Heh, have you ever wondered what it would feel like to drown?” “Geez, why don’t you go to one of the garden’s fountains and find out?” Virgil bit out through gritted teeth. Remus fell back cackling, rolling in the sorcerer’s precious notes for good measure. “You’re so funny Virge! The funniest little shadow we got around here!” “Look, your Grace,” Virgil bit out the title like it was an insult. “If I knew anything about the warlock in the mountains, I would tell you-” “Oh come ooooooooon!” Remus whined. “You do magic, you gotta know how to end him somehow! Give me something to work with! Chop his head off? Recite some spells? Ooh what’s this??” Virgil quickly snatched the bottle with the bubbling silver liquid away from Remus’ curious hands. “This is an erosion potion.” Virgil grumbled. “One drop and a rock the size of a man will melt away like water.” “How fun! Have you ever used it on people?” “What? No, of course not-!” “Well you should, for science’s sake- Logan would appreciate the experiment!” “You know I highly doubt he would-” “Ooooh, why don’t we ask the scholar himself that? Bet the nerd would love to participate-!” “LOOK,” Virgil took a very deep breath through his nose, and exhaled through his mouth. “No one knows how to defeat the warlock, okay?? If I knew, I would have done it years ago!” “Boooo, you’re no fun.” “Hell, if anyone could kill him,” Virgil continued on, ignoring Remus. “That person would be hailed as a hero! But knights and heroes who go in the mountains disappear without a trace, and we can’t-” Virgil’s sentence was cut off when he was tackled by a green and black blur to the ground. Letting out a litany of curses, he went to push the squirming prince off of him, but he stopped in his tracks when he looked at Remus’ face. The prince’s lips were turned in the most manic grin Virgil had ever seen on him, and his eyes were wide as saucers. “ ‘Hailed like a hero…?’ ” Remus whispered. “Are you sure about that…?” “Uuhm… Yes?” Virgil answered. “AWESOME!!” Remus screamed in his face, before scrambling up and running from the room in a flurry of thrown about papers and slamming doors. Virgil sat up, utterly bewildered at the sudden exit. But eventually he shrugged. At least he had some peace and quiet now… Remus didn’t stop running until he burst into his room, where he changed into his best traveling clothes, put on his warmest cloak and started grabbing his favourite weapons to bring with him, along with his beloved morning star that he grabbed off the wall. After that he ran to the castle’s kitchens, where he under wild protests of the cooks shoved various foods and a water bottle in his bag. Then he proceeded to dash to the stables, where he screamed at the nearest stable boy to prepare his favourite mare for traveling. “Remus?” A voice behind him asked. When Remus whirled around, he was faced with the confused stare of his twin brother. “What the hell are you doing?” “No time to talk bro-bro!” Remus hauled himself up the horse. “I’m off to kill the warlock that lives in the mountains!” “Wait, what?” Roman’s mouth fell open. “Are you nuts? You can’t just-” “Don’t wait up for me!” Remus yelled as he spurred his horse in a gallop, out of the castle’s gate. “BYYYYEE!!”

That was three days ago. Three days where he barely slept, ate while riding and only ever stopped to allow himself and his horse the bare minimum of rest. And now here he was, leading the mare on coiling paths through the treacherous cliffs and the dwindling treeline. And he still hadn’t caught a glimpse of this supposed warlock. Or his stupid hidden castle! Although, Remus considered, if he could easily find it he supposed it was a pretty shit hidden castle. The last light of twilight was almost gone. Grumbling to himself, Remus reluctantly halted and stepped off his horse. After tying her to a nearby tree and giving her some water, Remus searched for firewood and made a small fire. He then proceeded to very grumpily stare into the flames. Tomorrow he would search harder. He would find that son of a bitch, chop his head off and bring it gift wrapped back to his mother and father. And then he would get a statue, and a song written for him, and- And had it been this misty the whole time? Remus quickly sat up, his hand flying to his morning star. Tendrils of mist had surrounded him, and moved in closer with a fluidity and grace that reminded Remus of how Virgil would move shadows in his hand. Excitedly Remus got up his feet, hands bringing up his weapon and a frenzied giggle leaving his mouth. Finally finally finally-!! “Show yourself!!” He yelled. “You’re a long way from home, sir knight.” A dark, crooning voice answered him. Remus twisted around. In the light of the fire, Remus could make out the tall, slender figure of a man standing between two trees. The mist seemed to curl itself around the man, like a cat greeting it’s master. The man was dressed in all black, and a large hood was pulled over his head, shielding his face away from Remus’ eyes. Remus squinted at the hooded figure. “Are you the warlock that lives in these mountains?” He asked. No use accidentally shanking the wrong guy. The man made a dismissive hand wave. “I suppose I am. But pray tell, who are-” Remus didn’t let him finish. With a vicious battle cry he lifted his morning star over his head and charged towards the hooded man. He swung his weapon towards the figure… And only met thin air. He stumbled, but quickly regained his balance to look for his target. Where the fuck did that slippery eel go? “My, aren’t you an impolite one.” Came the cool voice from behind him. Remus whipped around, seeing the warlock study him with a tilted head. Once more Remus charged at him full speed, hoping to strike his morning star right into the man’s side. But yet again, the man disappeared the second Remus tried to hit him. “What exactly are you hoping to gain from this?” The warlock’s voice came from his right. He appeared unbothered by the attacks or the furious glare Remus threw him. Remus once again ran to attack the man, and let out a frustrated screech when the warlock disappeared and reappeared behind him before he could land a blow. “Stop moving!” He hollered. “Let me think. Hmmmm, no.” This continued on for a minute, and Remus’ assaults only grew more frenzied with every failed hit. He grit his teeth so hard he was surprised he didn’t break his molars with the sheer force of it. His grip tightened on his morning star. He was going to beat this guy to a bloody pulp. He was going to chop his stupid head off, and break every part of the rest of his body, grind his bones into dust, eat his fucking organs until nothing was left-! “This is getting tiresome…” The warlock sighed. “Then actually come out and FACE ME, YOU-” “Look into my eyes.” The voice suddenly boomed from his right. Remus’ head turned so quickly his neck gave a painful crick, glee already flooding him because his target was right there all he had to was- And beautiful swirling golden eyes met his gaze. Remus stopped his movements abruptly. His mind was startled in unexpected silence, but he didn’t care or bother to question why. All he wanted to do was to keep staring into those golden eyes. “That’s right,” The smooth voice purred, and oh. That was possibly even better. The soft rumble of the warlock’s voice seemed to fill every nook and cranny of Remus’ head. Every crammed little corner emptied of its contents and instead replenished with gold and honeyed words. “Now darling,” The warlock hummed. “How about you throw all the weapons you have on you into that ravine over there, and then we’ll have a civilized conversation? Wouldn’t you like that?” Remus nodded and turned to stiffly walk towards the edge of the cliff. He immediately missed the golden gaze on him, so he swiftly went to work. First he threw his morning star down in the depths, followed by the sword on his side, then the daggers in his boots, the small axe and the blades on his belt, the kitchen knife he had grabbed last minute for good measure- Behind him the warlock chuckled. “Not sure if I should be scared or impressed.” The warm amusement in the man’s tone curled itself up in Remus’ chest and made him feel all kinds of weird and fuzzy. He wanted to make the other laugh and smile more, just to have that feeling all the time. Disposing his last weaponry down the cliff, Remus turned again towards the other. The warlock had sat himself down on a large boulder, and gave him a small nod. “Very good. Now come here.” The man beckoned with one finger. Remus didn’t need to be told twice. Eagerly he marched up towards the other man, and dropped himself on his knees in front of him. And before he could think about it, Remus buried his face into the other man’s lap, his fingers curling into the warlock’s pants’ leg. The warlock stiffened at the sudden contact, but Remus barely noticed. God, he just wanted to be closer, closer- “Well this is new...” The voice murmured above him. Remus froze. Fuck fuck fuck, he did something weird again, he had screwed up, why did he do that, why was he like this-! All panic was immediately silenced when a hand gently started carding through his hair. Sighing, Remus practically melted into the soft contact. A low keen left his throat at the feeling of sharp nails lightly grazing his head, causing the most pleasant shivers to roll down Remus’ spine. “Let’s try this again, shall we? You may call me Deceit. And what’s your name, bold knight?” Somewhere in his head an alarm bell started ringing, but Remus took that bell and beat it to a flat mash before kicking it right into the sun. “My name’s Remus… Remus Alveraz…” He muttered. “Oh my… Am I in the presence of genuine royalty?” Deceit played with the silver lock in Remus’ hair. “I feel honoured. And to what exactly do I owe this privilege?” He should probably lie to him. In fact, lying was absolutely the best option if he wanted the soft touches to continue. However the second the possibility of lying crossed Remus’ mind his head seemed to clog with a dense fog. Above him the warlock gave a soft tut in disappointment. “No use lying to me dear,” Deceit slightly scolded. “Come now, you can tell me…” He didn’t want to, he absolutely did not want to, but the thick fog made even the smallest white lie seem like a herculean task. “I came here to kill you...” Remus relented quietly. Immediately the fog lifted from his mind. And weirdly enough, the hand didn’t stop caressing his hair. “Funnily enough, I figured that out that much.” The amusement was back, and with it the fuzzy feeling in Remus’ chest. “And why were you sent on such a quest, hmm? Didn’t whoever sent you warn you of the stories? Those who enter the mountains shall never return I do believe it was.” “I wasn’t sent by anyone,” Remus muttered. “I wanted to do this myself.” “Ah, that explains some of it,” Deceit said. “So why exactly did you want to do this then?” Remus opened his mouth, ready to answer with for the glory of the kingdom, so his country would be free of fear, so the people could sleep easily again, so he could be their hero. Before even a syllable could leave his mouth the fog clouded his mind once more, even denser than before. His reasons choked on his tongue as he struggled to speak. “You’re lying, little prince. And not even to me, but to yourself. Which I always considered far worse than lying to the world.” The hand in Remus’ hair tightened and his head was turned sideways, so he could glance up at the man above him. The shining golden eyes were the only things visible under the hood and their beauty entranced Remus once more. “Tell the truth.” Deceit whispered. “I… I wanted…” Remus struggled to answer through the fog. “Tell the truth.” The warlock commanded. The power of the order settled heavily in Remus’ bones. “I just wanted people to see me.” The admission left him in a rush, and the mist in his head finally disappeared. Whatever Deceit had seemed to expect, this wasn’t it. The hand released his hair, and Remus immediately turned his head to hide his face back into the other man’s lap. The truth stung on his tongue. “And why exactly do you think people don’t see you…?” Deceit’s voice was thoughtful. “Aren’t you their beloved prince?” A bitter laugh left Remus before he could stop himself. “No no no no… Roman is the beloved one of the two of us. Perfectly charming perfect prince. People fall over their feet to wave at him, would chop their own kid’s fingers off for a chance to kiss his ass and all that shit, and I’m…” For once in his life Remus actually wanted to stop talking. But whatever spell was compelling him forced the truth out he had been ignoring for years. “I’m the spare. They don’t see me; they just see a failed version of Roman. The unwanted child. The family disappointment. Good for nothing, weird, scary, stupid freak of nature. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid-!” “Enough.” The order came out quiet like a hush, but Remus immediately stopped talking. Calmly he waited for Deceit to throw him off, to sneer and mock him for his not so royal behaviour. Perhaps the warlock would use him for ransom to get the kingdom from his mom and dad. Although, seeing as what Remus just admitted, it would probably be more likely he’ll just kill him and be done with it. He found that the thought didn’t really scare him. Just as he considered if Roman would miss him, Remus startled as he felt the warlock’s hand go back to ever so gently caressing his hair. Carefully he peeked back up to the other man. The golden eyes had lessened in their intensity, and Remus knew it was wishful thinking when he thought he saw sympathy in them. “Who made you believe that about yourself, little prince?” Deceit asked softly. The question surprised him. Remus shrugged. “It’s just the truth… I’ve always been the fuck up. I can’t do anything right. I couldn’t learn properly when I was a kid, my interests are weird, I’m too much…” “Too much of what?” “Everything! Too loud, too distractive, too grotesque, too annoying,” Remus rambled up from his head, repeating the words teachers, nannies, tutors, friends and family had told him over the years. When he just couldn’t sit still during lessons, because why would he when there were thousands more interesting things to do. “You’re a bad example for the others!” When he struggled with understanding the lesson material because he just couldn’t focus on it no matter hard he tried. “You’re just being lazy.” When he rambled on about his favourite gruesome stories and fairy-tales almost without being able to stop because they were so interesting! “I think he’s disturbed.” When he played with the other children and made them cry when he played too rough, spoke too loud, told too many scary stories. “You’re a freak!” When he pulled his twin brother along with his mischief and he ended up the only one being punished. “You’re a bad child.” When his parents praised Roman, only to send disappointed glares towards him. “Why can’t you be more like your brother?” Not good enough, no matter what he did. Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. Not good enough. NEVER GOOD ENOU- “Remus.” The soft voice jump startled Remus out of his spiral. His throat had tightened and his eyes were prickling. Without realizing he had tightened his fingers nearly painfully in the fabric of the warlock’s pants. He quickly loosened them. “ ‘m sorry…” Remus mumbled. Sorry I exist. “No need…” Deceit shushed. “There’s no reason to apologize.” Silence settled between the two men for a while. The warlock sat in quiet consideration, while Remus tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He shut his eyes tightly to keep the prickling of tears back. Fuck, he thought he didn’t care… He thought he had hardened his heart enough that it stopped bothering him years ago, how no one could look at him without disgust or annoyance. Turns out he lied more to himself than he was willing to admit. Remus focused with all his might on the soft stroking of his hair that, despite everything, was still happening. He couldn’t quite believe his luck. Most people had shoved him away by now. “Now what I don’t understand yet,” Deceit finally spoke up. “Is why you thought killing me would help you?” Remus gave another half-hearted shrug. “I mean, you’re the country’s biggest enemy…” “Am I? My goodness, I feel flattered.” Deceit said flatly. “Roman always gets praise whenever he slays a monster… And he can’t come after you! Mom and dad made Roman promise them that he would never try to find and defeat you.” That had been when they were both teenagers. “… And they never made you promise not to do that?” Remus didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His silence said enough. He heard Deceit take a very deep breath. “So you hoped that if you brought back my head, you would get their artificial praise and magically all their neglect would go away?” Deceit’s voice had taken a biting edge. “I guess… I mean, Virgil said that-” “Virgil?” The hand stopped moving, eliciting a small whine from Remus. “As in Virgil Storm?” “Yeah…” Remus was surprised. The warlock knew the court sorcerer? “He told me that the first person to kill you would be hailed as a hero…” “The basssstard…” The warlock hissed out. “I taught him everything he knows, and this is how he repays me? Ungrateful little whelp…” Deceit continued quietly scowling, and Remus was caught between giggling over the warlock calling the scary court sorcerer a whelp and begging him to continue stroking his hair. In the end he kept quiet, despite how difficult that was. Eventually Deceit finished his little rant, and silence fell once more. Remus didn’t mind, since Deceit absent-mindedly started to massage his scalp, which made him want to melt into a little puddle of princely goo. “You’ve been mistreated, little prince…” Deceit said. “Terribly mistreated. The world saw that you were different, and immediately labelled you as defective. But I’ll let you in on a little secret…” Remus stiffened when the warlock leaned down closer to him, and he felt the other man’s breath on his ear. “There is nothing wrong with you.” Deceit whispered. “That they refused to open their minds to the potential you possess, is their loss and their loss alone. You are not broken, you are not useless or anything they tried to make you believe. You are whole, my prince. Complete, just the way you are.” Deceit sat back up, and Remus couldn’t hold back the tears prickling in his eyes anymore. A sob left him, loud and ugly, while his body started to tremble. Deceit rubbed his back, gently shushing him all the while. “It’s alright,” Deceit murmured. “You’re alright… Sleep now, dear.” At the warlock’s words, Remus felt his eyelids and body grow heavy. He struggled to keep his eyes open, but it felt like a thick, warm blanket slowly embraced him. The last thing he heard before he fell into a deep slumber were Deceit’s words; “Sleep now, and you’ll see… The morning will come with a better future.”

Waking up was a slow process. Remus felt like he was slowly floating down from a very warm cloud, and he didn’t quite wanted to be back on the ground just yet. He hadn’t slept this long and peacefully in years. So he stayed on that edge between sleeping and waking for as long as he could. When at last he blinked his eyes open, it took a few minutes of staring up at the dark wooden ceiling before he realized he didn’t recognize it. Wait, where was he…? Abruptly the memories of last night came flooding back. The mist, a soft hand in his hair, his impromptu confessions, and the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Wildly flailing Remus sat up and looked around. He was lying on a cot, and he had been covered with a soft wool blanket that he threw off with his sudden movements. To his right was a tall window, and in the final light of a distant sunset he could just make out the castle, his home on the horizon. Wait, sunset? Just how long had he been asleep? “Ah, so you’ve finally awakened.” Remus head whipped to his left, and he took in the rest of his surroundings. The room he was in had high ceilings, and every wall was covered in shelves filled to the brim with vials, jars and jugs. From the ceiling hung bones, dried herbs and something Remus recognized as massive dragon wings. A bookcase big enough to fit twice in his room was nestled in the far corner, stuffed with so many books that some were stacked in small piles in front of it. And illuminating the whole scene, a large cauldron sat on a simmering fire in the middle of the room, a yellow glow coming from the elixir being brewed in the iron pot. In front of the cauldron stood the warlock, his back to Remus. One of Deceit’s hands stirred the substance, while another grabbed a vial from a table next to him to add it’s contents to the elixir, another hand grabbed a handful of dried herbs to throw in as well, and yet another pair of hands held a book open-! Remus watched in utter fascination, as the warlock used no less than six arms to work tirelessly to make the potion in the cauldron. “You’ve slept for quite some hours,” Deceit said, not stopping or taking his eyes off the cauldron. “I was already beginning to think I used too potent of a spell on you.” Remus’ mouth opened and closed again. Thousands of questions were racing through his mind, ranging from Where the hell are we to What do you want from me and Are you aware you have six arms but what he eventually settled on was; “Why did you bring me here?” Deceit’s actions stilled. Gently, he set down the supplies in his hands and Remus’ eyes widened when the extra four arms seemed to retract back into the warlock until with a shudder they had disappeared. Then Deceit finally turned around. The large hood of his cloak was still hiding his face. Slowly Deceit approached the cot, and Remus, who absolutely was not the type of person to get scared easily, pressed his back into the window behind him while his heart thumped in his throat. There was a vague thought passing through his head that maybe the glass would crack and he would plummet to his death after all, but it was quickly dismissed when the warlock stopped in front of him… And moved to pull back his hood. First Remus noticed dark brown hair, in messy curls. Then he saw how the left half of the warlock’s face was attractively covered in dark green scales, which ran from his forehead over his cheek into his neck and disappeared under his collar. His eyes were not swirling gold this time- Instead Deceit’s right eye was a dark hazel, speckled with golden flecks. And the other… The other was a piercing yellow, with a split serpentine pupil. Those mismatched eyes took him in with a calculated look, and Remus’ heart started thumping louder, but no longer in fear. In fact, it started thumping so loud it felt like his heart wanted to tear bloodily through his ribs and flesh to get out. His stomach started doing all kinds of funny flip-flops as well. Distantly he was aware that his mouth was hanging open, but he couldn’t quite bring it up yet to care. Deceit smiled, revealing fanged teeth, and brought one slender, clawed finger under Remus’ chin to close his gaping mouth. “Careful, you might eat a fly,” Deceit said with a chuckle, and then sat down on the cot across from Remus. Which proved to be a test to his sanity, as Remus’ mind immediately started supplying him with all the creative things he could do to the warlock on that cot. Tracing his lips over the scales, seeing if they’re hot or cold, running his hands through those lovely curls, while fanged teeth bit Remus’ neck- “It’s impolite to stare, you know.” Deceit interrupted his thoughts. Remus shook himself away from the fantasy before it could get too detailed. “As for your question, well... We seem to have… Similar stories and motivations.” Deceit gave him a sly smirk, and if Remus hadn’t been gone yet, he would have fallen for that look hard. “I think we might be able to help each other out, don’t you agree?” Remus nodded so wildly he was surprised he didn’t snap his neck. Anything, he would do absolutely anything, if it meant that those mismatched eyes would remain on him.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #dukeceit #demus #deceit sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #my very first sanders sides fic!

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calzona-ga · 4 years

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Showrunner Krista Vernoff talks with The Hollywood Reporter about wrapping Alex's storyline, being the first show to shut down production and the episode that serves as its season ender.

[This story contains spoilers from episode 1621, "Put on a Happy Face."]

ABC's Grey's Anatomy concluded its 16th season Thursday with an episode that wasn't designed to be a finale but, as showrunner Krista Vernoff admits, was lucky to have doubled as one.

The Shondaland medical drama had four episodes left to produce before Vernoff made the call to shut down — the first series to do so amid the coronavirus crisis — in a move she says was designed with the crew's health in mind. The series was also the first to publicly confirm that those four episodes would never be produced as Vernoff and her team will use their extended hiatus as a way to incorporate those events into the drama's previously announced 17th season.

As for the episode, here's what happened: Richard (Jim Pickens) is cured, but rejects his estranged wife, Catherine (Debbie Allen). Owen (Kevin McKidd) and Teddy (Kim Raver) are … on pause. Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) and Link (Chris Carmack) have their son. DeLuca (Giacomo Gianniotti) saves the day with Richard but has a breakdown. Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) now finds herself in a love triangle (again).

Below, Vernoff talks with The Hollywood Reporter about making the call to shut down, how she's approaching season 17 and, yes, how she and the Grey's writers wrote out Justin Chambers' Alex.

First, how are you doing with the state of the TV industry right now? I'm worried about everybody in the world, including our industry. I'm really lucky to have continued work. I have a writers room for [ABC pilot] Rebel and I'm doing post on Station 19. I have some semblance of normalcy and I'm hopeful that there will be some return to normalcy in the not too distant future.

Grey's was the first show to shut down production. What went into that decision and was what has ensued since what you were expecting at the time? What went into that decision for me and why I pushed for that shutdown is we have been on the air for so long that so many of our crew members were in that high-risk category. Many of them are over 60 or even 70. There was a day when someone was saying, "Maybe you should go to set and give a pep talk," and I had a feeling of like, "No, I don't want to go to set." I called the network and said if I don't want to go to that set space, you can't keep asking the crew — who are all high-risk — to go. Like anyone else, did I expect the whole world to shut down? No. This is all so unprecedented in our world. I didn't expect this. I just knew in that moment that what I was reading that was happening in Italy meant we were in danger here and I wanted to protect our crew.

You lost four episodes from this season. What was the cast's response to that? What are you considering doing with the remaining four unproduced episodes? Rolling them to next season? Or waiting to see what happens with the world before you plot out what comes next? We're waiting to see what happens with the world. I will start a season 17 writers room in May, and, at that point, I imagine our conversation will be about starting our story from where we left off in season 16. But I don't think we can take unproduced scripts that we didn't shoot and shoot them. We're going to have had a break and have new ideas. We've been texting each other ideas already. Some of those things that we had decided, we're changing because we'll have had a break and have come up with better ideas. And some of it is going to have to change because you're taking what was going to be a regular episode and have to turn it into a season premiere and that will require some reimagining.

As a medical drama, and one with a global audience — you air in something like 250 markets across the globe — have you talked about if you're going to incorporate coronavirus into your storyline? I haven't talked to anyone about anything yet because we're not in the room right now. We're on what would have been our hiatus. But once the writers room gathers in early May, we'll begin to have those conversations. I've been thinking, are we incorporating coronavirus into the storytelling and also does that dictate what kind of stories we can tell? Are we, for example, limiting the number of people in a room? If we're doing a story where 60 people were sitting in a theater, are we no longer doing that story? Those are the things I'm thinking about because I don't think this is going to be totally over when we come back to shoot in July. I don't know.

Have you thought about what it would take for you guys to feel safe enough — given the crew you have — to go back into production? The Writers Guild is thinking about all of those things. There are conversations about, will testing be more widely available by that point? Are you testing people when they go to work? Are you taking temperatures of people before they go to work? I'm addicted to silver linings and an idealist and fantasy thinker because I am a writer, so I keep thinking maybe some miraculous vaccine or cure or somebody will figure out a medicine we use for this can be effective. I'm trying not to think about it too much because no one knows anything and next week everything could change.

This episode was fortunate to work as a season finale. Can you say anything about what would have happened in those four episodes? Or are those ideas that you're holding on to for now? I'm going to holdon to them for now because I imagine we'll play out a fair amount of them in season 17. It's not lucky that there's a pandemic and we had to stop our storytelling four episodes short, but it's lucky that where we had to stop wound up as a pretty perfect season finale.

One thing watching this episode that I'm very eager to know: What do Amelia and Link name their son? Grey's does have a way of honoring the past when it comes to baby names … The name the baby storyline was in episode 22 [which won't be produced]. I suspect it will play in the [season 17] premiere.

Any clues if the name has any special significance? Derek, maybe… I will tell you that the name is not Derek (laughing). I'll give you that the line in 1622 about Derek was that Link pitched it and Amelia said, "I don't want to cry every time I look at my baby, so no." But the name is meaningful, yes.

Owen tells his mother that he's postponing the wedding but doesn't tell Teddy. He obviously has that pretty awful voicemail in which he hears Teddy sleep with Tom. Why doesn't he break things off? The cruelest thing that Owen could do in that moment is to call his mother and not Teddy. That didn't come from anything magnanimous. Letting Teddy suffer in that silence and fear … if everything is OK, you call your partner and say we can't do it. I honestly think Owen is in too much pain to talk to Teddy at this point. It's a major storyline for us to play in season 17: are they over? Is there a way for him to come back from this? Owen has cheated himself and been forgiven, so he would be a hypocrite to not allow for possibility that there could be some forgiveness here. Yet what he heard was really damning and man. That OR scene was my favorite scene of the season. It was really beautiful.

DeLuca, who should be celebrating a big professional victory, realizes he has a problem after diagnosing Richard. What are you looking forward to exploring with his storyline? Everyone interprets that last scene differently. What I believe happens to DeLuca in that last scene is that he's been manic for so long that his brain chemicals have shifted and he's gone into a depression and that's what you're seeing. It's not that he's making any kind of realization; it's that he can't get up off the floor and he doesn't know why. We're telling a story of a mental health crisis with DeLuca and I think he does have the disease his father has. What's kind of beautiful about where we ended the season is that you see that a person who is struggling with mental health crisis can still be an incredibly productive member of society. He diagnoses Richard and saves the day — and he goes into a hole. Where we go from here … you'll see in season 17.

There's a great scene during Richard's surgery when DeLuca looks up at Meredith and gives her this nod, which feels like he's thinking that maybe now he is on her level professionally — and maybe now she can see him in that way. Meredith, meanwhile, tells Cormac Hayes (Richard Flood) that she wants him to ask her out again. This episode also had a lot of foreshadowing that Hayes and Meredith seem destined to be together. What's the larger idea or theme you're looking to explore with this … triangle of sorts? It kind of is a triangle at this point. There are so many pieces to making television: there's the conversation in the writers room, then the script on the page. It's like what you think it will be vs. what's on the page. And then there's what the actors do with it. That story has emerged in a way where I never expected it to be a triangle but feels like it very much is one right now. That's because DeLuca has been so heroic and so dynamic in his mental health storyline that, in a strange way, I expected that storyline would illuminate him as a love interest for Meredith and it ironically feels like it's done the opposite. It's been amazing to watch Giacomo resonate with that storyline. The story ended up better than what I expected it was going to be because now I don't know who I'm rooting for Meredith to be with. There's a part of me that feels like DeLuca, if he gets the right kind of treatment, could be becoming a human being with life experience that helps him rise to Meredith's level and yet there's this man, who is co-signed by Cristina and we've seen the pain he's survived and how, in so many ways, his life experience mirrors Meredith's. Where this goes now is really anybody's guess. I'm excited to see how it unfolds.

I'd be remiss if I didn't ask about something else that happened earlier this season: Justin Chambers exited this season. While Alex had a big send-off, it felt like Chambers left quietly and suddenly. What can you say about happened and the way that all transpired? I decline comment.

From a planning standpoint, how much notice did you have that Chambers wasn't returning? Chambers' last episode aired in November… I don't want to talk about it.

Can you talk a bit about how the Grey's team came up with how you concluded Alex's storyline, reuniting him with Izzie (Katherine Heigl)? I love that episode. I thought it was beautiful, romantic, heartbreaking, painful and the perfect combination of the way so many stories happen in Shondaland, where you're simultaneously crying for joy and crying for grief. It was perfectly imperfect and it was perfectly messy. It allowed for Alex to have grown as a human in a variety of ways and to still be imperfect and to disappoint a woman he has loved greatly. It allows for Jo to have been a person who really healed him and in so many ways that he's now able to go be this wonderful dad to these kids. And it allowed for the characters who are still at Grey Sloan to not have to go through another massive chapter of grief. I thought it was beautiful and I'm really proud of it. It was an amazing thing to get to watch 16 seasons worth of material. To get to go backwards on a character's timeline, 16 seasons, and to have it actually be stuff we shot on the show? That's rare in TV. Usually if you're flashing back, you're using VFX to de-age a character.

Wrapping things up, I always ask you the same two questions at the end of every season. Will there be any cast departures ahead of season 17? There are no notable cast member departures happening between seasons.

And are there any conversations about season 17 being the last one for Grey's? And in terms of 17 being the end, I never believe it's the end until they tell me it's the end for real.

#grey's anatomy #krista vernoff #THR #news #scoop

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ancient-bruises-ancient-moon · 4 years

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ok SO I got an anon I wasn’t gunna respond to but I'm enjoying a vegan chocolate banana cookie dough thc/cbd infused smoothie I invented so fuck it, let’s do this

this isn’t gunna be eloquent at all and I hope what im intending to say comes off correctly. may not, my brain is mush- but here we go!

so last night/technically this morning I reblogged a lot from this brilliant intersexism blog. (highly recommend giving a follow!) which led to...a bizarre ass anon this morning (I'll make another post linking to her blog so ya’ll can follow. she doesn’t need to deal w/ this post after everything else she deals w/ on here- unless u want to ofc!! hi ur cool! ANYWAY...)

I don’t remember the exact wording but it was something like “so ud rather have sex w intersex ppl over trans ppl??”

ummm. I literally never said shit about sex w/ intersex ppl?? like, ever.

was that supposed to be some huge “gotcha!!” ??

‘cause it didn’t work, at all.

1. my body is not a democracy

2. why r ya’ll obsessed w sex as validation

3. ur rly gunna ask me, essentially, if I'd rather be intimate w a deranged narcissistic reality denying manic OR a person with an intersex disorder...and u rly think I'm gunna be like OH NO I’D RATHER HAVE SEX W A MANIAC???

like...it’s rly not ab sex at all but did u RLY think that was gunna work in ur favor somehow?? and if u did, why did u think so? could it be bc u use intersex ppl as pawns for ur arguments but then don’t actually consider them ppl that can be in loving and intimate relationships? do u rly think this is activism? do you feel no shame?? you should be fucking embarrassed. this is so embarrassing for you.

something ya’ll don’t realize: I worked at a center that offered therapeutic services, std testing, & peer activity groups for lgbtiapqbdsmnlmnop folxxxx

I know how ya’ll speak to your therapists, to your peers when you think no one is listening, I watch ya’ll take credit for things u did NOTHING for, I've watched your violence against anyone who disagrees with you (INCLUDING about tv show characters...like, come on..) Adult trans women using fake IDs to try to get into youth events...and then get MAD AT ME when I have to kick A WHOLE ASS HALF DRESSED MAN GRINDING ON THE FLOOR out of an event for CHILDREN... this is beyond just Tumblr. you’re also like this irl. and often, somehow, even fucking worse.

I had far less intersex clients BUT ya know who wasn’t throwing tantrums, being violent, trying to take credit for things they didn’t do, starting fights, sneaking into events to get near minors?? my intersex clients! NOT ONCE. AND let’s be real...my intersex clients had good fucking reason to be furious and there were absolutely times that I would not have blamed them in the slightest for slapping tf out of someone...but they didn’t. not once. (ngl tho if they did I would have “not seen” what happened tbh bc I am a very responsible adult lmao- I can say this now bc I left the field so it matters not at all for my career)

ya know who would stay after hours, silently crying in rage bc of the shit trans clients said to them? my intersex clients (the big one was trans ppl telling them they’re lucky they get to ~~choose~~ their sex)

ya know who took the time to use open activist hour to build presentations to teach the LARGELY ENTIRELY INEPT staff (myself included, more below) about intersex issues so the people who come after them can get better help than they were able to receive?? I'll give you one guess.

I left academia and working in the field w/ ppl bc of my experiences at this place & the direction this tender gender trender shit is taking academia. Intersex people deserve so much fucking better than even having to HEAR this bullshit. I would only go back into the field to work with women & intersex individuals. Probably as a volunteer though, but I digress

I worked there when all these new words were coming out too like demisexual android identified diaper baby or whatever the fuck lmao and the trans clients would be FURIOUS when anyone didn’t know wtf it meant

and in contrast our intersex clients were constantly explaining shit to staff/interns/volunteers about their conditions that they should never have had to explain TO THE PROFESSIONALS WHO WERE THERE TO HELP THEM. and I can’t even lie and pretend I fucking knew much, I didn’t. I was hired without even knowing i’d be working w intersex clients- I just needed to show I knew some trans buzzwords. but I put in the time to learn, I read every book any client recommended, any article they emailed me- but honestly that STILL ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!!!! I should NOT have been hired!!! MY BOSS should not have been hired!!! Actually, the only staff members that actually deserved their job was an gay intersex man. OT but he was so cool and smart and hilarious and like FUN ANGRY like idk how to explain that better lol he was good at getting u pumped up ab shit & good at getting ppl worked up enough to DO something. The only other staff member who actually cared and knew anything was a lesbian woman (of course) but she had recently had a baby and became so afraid for the welfare of her wife and daughter that she went along w trans shit that she KNEW was delusional and unhealthy bc we SAW these trans clients being violent on the Regular. we were legally obligated to call the cops several times. she wasn’t wrong to be afraid but I do think she should have tried to work elsewhere if she could no longer do her job with integrity but that’s a conversation for another day.

agh im just gunna end this post now bc I can rly go on and on but I'll leave the post with this question that I'd very much like an answer to:

how can we as activists be of better service to our intersex sisters? this issue is becoming more and more pressing and I can’t sit back and do nothing for them anymore. does anyone know of intersex only orgs that need volunteers or have suggestions?? PLS LET ME KNOW. I won’t go back to where I was but there’s GOTTA be SOMETHING I can do for the intersex community. let’s figure it out <3 this issue very seriously needs the attention of radical feminists tbh so...let’s do something.

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 5

1. Favorite character of this season?

Anya, I love her arc this season. She's just kind of been... there, in season 4, running along. No one really acknowledged the demon thing, there was no real bonding between Anya and everyone, she was just there. This season, finding her place in the world? Working at the Magic Box, then her in The Body – I mean seriously, her confronting mortality like that, I love it. I love her growth.

2. Outstanding minor character (positive or negative)?

Dawn. Sure, technically you could argue she's a “main character”, however... she's barely even a character, she's a plot-device so that really qualifies her as a minor character for me.

I always disliked Dawn, even when I was a teen myself. With some things, perspective shifts when you grow older, but Dawn just... always sucked. As a teen, I found her to be a cringey parody of the teen girl experience and now as an adult I still think that this is the peak of what a middle-aged man thinks the teen girl experience is. She's a cheap, one-dimensional caricature of a teenager.

She is a whiny brat, she constantly acts like “no one sees the real me”, she becomes a kleptomaniac to try and gain attention, she acts like no one loves her even though everyone constantly fawn over her every chance they got, she is a spoiled little brat that is completely unappreciative of all the things she gets. It's like they crammed every single shallow teen stereotype into this one character, making her a very one-dimensional character. Which is a bafflement considering Willow, Xander and Buffy started out as teenagers but they were always fully fleshed out characters with actual personalities. Heck, Cordelia was the most stereotypical character in the teenage years but even she got more depth and individuality.

Though I'd like to point out that while, as a character, Dawn is incredibly obnoxious, I do like her as what she is – a plot device. The way she creates new dynamics among the Scoobies, how other characters play off her and grow on her existence, the villain-plot she triggers.

3. Favorite character dynamic?

Too many, honestly. I adore the way Tara-Buffy grow in this season. Generally the friction between Spike and the Scoobies. Spike and Dawn in particular. The Buffy-Dawn dynamic too – Dawn being such a blank slate of Teen AngstTM allows for the other characters to shine in comparison. They get a new dynamic here, through the New Kiddo that puts them in perspective. Caring, gentle. The sisters-angle is a new one for Buffy and I do love her as a big sister, even if I wished her retconned sister had like... an actual personality.

4. Favorite canon romantic ship?

Spike/Buffy. Sue me, I'm Spuffy trash. Always been. The way he cares for her, the things he's willing to do. The little things. The self-sacrificial side, how he drops everything to help her whenever she needs him. And, I know, I give other ships flag for things equal or less in comparison to some of the shit that's happened/happening between Spike/Buffy, but see that's where taste comes into play. Liking and disliking things is just... all about that taste and tastes differ. For me, Spike/Buffy hits all the right spots. I love them so much.

5. Least favorite canon romantic ship?

Riley/Buffy. Once again. Seriously, this is just such a bad relationship. From the get-go she constantly put herself down to lift him up. Holding back her powers – which, of course, because otherwise she'd snap him in half during sparring – but pretending that's the max. She is always going out of her way to make him feel special and useful.

And he goes and gets fed on by a vampire and has the audacity to blame it on Buffy, because Buffy doesn't make him feel wanted enough. Even though she continuously tries making him feel important. It's ridiculous. Complaining that she didn't think about calling him when her mom went to the hospital, like she didn't have something else in her mind there? Setting her an ultimatum that she has to give him a reason to stay. After he essentially cheats on her, by sneaking around with vampires and letting them feed on him for the rush.

Now to go and leave with his little military buddies once more. After everything the military has done to him...? Their relationship was so bad for Buffy.

6. Favorite episode?

The Body. This is the singularly best episode... ever. In all television I've ever seen. This episode is overwhelmingly good. Sarah Michelle Gellar's acting is overwhelming in this episode. The choice to exclude music entirely, not even sad ones. How silence is allowed to longer, how unnerving the background noises become due to this silence.

The writing too, of course. Anya's words about death and mortality are so intense, they'll always stick with me. And not just her. Xander, Willow, Dawn, how they all handle this in a different way.

The choice alone that Joyce dies from something so fundamentally human, something no one could have prevented, something Buffy couldn't have fought. And – yes, that reaches ahead some – but the fact that the next episode also serves to have this unfold. It's not just “death and move on”. It's being dealt with, it's being digested, it's being taken seriously.

Too many writers feel the need to fun things up when it's getting serious, because they are afraid to lose their audience if there isn't a joke every five minutes. There is not a single joke in that entire episode. This show is funny as hell, but they know when not to joke. There is nothing to be made light here, this is serious, they are truly suffering. They know how important that is.

I've seen this episode surely a dozen times now. I cry so much every single time. Not just once. There are so many well-written, well-acted and well-executed moments in this episode. It's brilliant TV-making. It encapsulates what's so brilliant about this show overall; the human element, suffering, pain, dealing with pain, the balance between seriousness and humor and knowing when not to use humor.

7. Least favorite episode?

Episode two Real Me. It's the Dawn introduction episode and I've made clear what I dislike about Dawn; this episode introduces it all in the most teen angst cliche possible – writing a diary entry about how no one sees you for who you are and like no one could ever actually understand you.

8. Favorite Monster Of The Week?

...Dracula. I still... I consider that episode a fever-dream. It's one of the ones I opt to forget about whenever enough time has passed since my last rewatch because it just... doesn't fit into this show at all, it feels like a whacky filler arc in an anime, or a one-shot comic spin-off. But it's fun.

9. Least favorite Monster Of The Week?

This season doesn't actually have much of those. There's 4 or 5, depending on how you'd count, out of those 22, because this season is very streamlined about the Big Bad, more so than previous seasons were, and it is also very focused on the human issue – on Joyce's sickness and then her death. Out of those few, I guess the “let's split Xander in half” demon from episode 3 was my least favorite. It was... boring and due to this season's streamlining the fact that this was the most fillery filler episode felt a bit out of place, really.

10. Rate the overarching villain!

SO FREAKING GOOD.

Glory is a truly glorious villain. She's a god. But she is so – so frantic, so manic. She is fun to watch as a villain. The sheer size of the threat too. Which, it figures. There's always an escalation of threat.

(We will get back to that in the season 6 review though.)

Glory may just be my favorite Big Bad on this show, which only adds to how much I love this season. It's one of my favorites. Granted, I have a lot of favorite seasons.

Bonus: Other thoughts?

I love this season so very, very much. The human element, the growth, the villain-plot, the relationship developments. It's an incredible season. I'll get back to this when I finish my rewatch and actually do my ranking of seasons, but I am rating each episode – 1 to 5 – and getting the point-average, to have a more factual look at how much I loved a season. This one is through the roof, it scored an entire 1,5 more in average than season 4 did. There's only one episode in this that I gave a 1 to, but there are so many 4s.

That ending, to truly kill off your main character like that. So many gut-punches – but deserved gut-punches, not the ones that come out of nowhere and only serve shock-value.

I greatly enjoy and love seasons 1 to 3, but this season – this season reminds me why Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the best damn TV show ever created.

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Season 5 #Phoe's Random Show Rants #Buffy Review #Phoe Watching Buffy

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blackmissfrizzle · 5 years

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Dirty Little Secret Part 2

Title: Dirty Little Secret Part 2

Characters: Chris Evans x black!reader

Summary: The reader attends Ace Comic-Con with Chris

Word Count: 1331

Being out in the public with Chris had been the best decision. Sure, there were some racists trolls and paparazzi would try to photograph you two all the time, but it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Chris would shut down the haters and you both tried your best to keep your whereabouts a secret. The good definitely outweighed the bad.

You even attended Chris’s high school reunion, which you had a blast there. His old classmates wasted no time telling you embarrassing stories of Chris and you ate it up. Chris was glad to bring you to his reunion. People would think he would want to brag about his Hollywood life, but all he did was brag about you and how lucky he was.

Now you were standing offstage while Chris, Don, and Jeremy were answering questions for the Ace Comic-Con. Currently, the moderator was asking about the acrylic memes of himself that was taking over social media. You thought those memes were a gift from God, especially the one that went over Civil War.

“Yeah, my girlfriend showed me them. Well, she tried to. She was too busy crying over how funny they were. Our favorite one is the recap from Civil War.” Chris explained how he found out about his new makeovers.

Excited to hear about you, Angelique, directed her questioning to the topic of you. “Speaking of your girlfriend. You broke a lot of hearts when you two publicized your relationship at the Endgame premiere. How’s everything going with you two?”

Chris instantly blushed at the mention of you and you heard the whole crowd go ‘awww’. “Great. Everything’s great. Except she got mad at me for not warning her about Cap’s ending.” Everyone in the room laughed at that.

Don butted in. “I don’t know how you didn’t tell her. Have y’all seen that video of Y/N kicking MBJ’s butt in the boxing ring. I’m scared of her. All she would have to do is raise her voice and I’d be singing like a canary.” The crowd erupted into laughter once again.

Luckily, they were able to shift the questions from you and into other things. Angelique had just asked the men what their favorite fighting scene from all of the movies and Chris accidently cussed, which caused you to palm your face, and he immediately followed it up with his iconic line ‘Language.’

Cheadle got up to point to a child, “There’s a child right here.” As he and Renner went off stage, he pointed at you, “Even your girlfriend is disappointed in you!”

The moderator had the crowd chant to bring back Don and Jeremy onstage and they also cheered for you to join them. With enough coaxing from the pair and the crowd, all three of you joined the stage.

Since there were no extra seats on the stage, Chris pulled you into his lap and gave you a kiss, causing all the women and some men in the room to swoon.

“Welcome, Y/N. Since I already got these fine gentlemen’s answer, would you please like to tell us what’s your favorite fight from the MCU?”

Why did she ask you such a hard question? You probably had more than 5 favorite fights. In response you bit your nails and a sheepish look on your face, which made everyone laugh. “Oh my God, that’s so hard! There’s so many. Obviously, there’s Chris’s elevator fight, the airport fight, the Avengers last fight, the Endgame battle, the last fight in Infinity War, and the casino fight in Black Panther.”

Chris laughed at your enthusiasm; he knew how much of a Marvel fan you really were. “Babe, she asked for one fight not all of them.”

“Y’all see how mean he is. Hmph, that’s why Anthony is my favorite Captain America.” You elbowed your boyfriend in his not so soft stomach, but he still grunted in pain. “Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted,” you cut your eyes to Chris. “I’m gonna say my favorite fight has to be the casino fight in Black Panther and it all has to do with Dani throwing that wig! I actually bought a wig for that exact reason. I wore it when I was sparring with my trainer, and I whipped it off and threw it at him and I managed to take him down in my fastest time.”

Don looked at you in awe. “See this is why I love black women. Now, I just wanna see a bunch of wigs flying throughout a fight.”

After that the questions were directed towards Chris, Jeremy, and Don. You would give your input every so often and some questions would be directed towards you. A young black girl asked if you considered being in a Marvel movie, which your response was you wished you could, but your acting skills were horrible and that there was so much undiscovered talent that you would feel guilty for taking a role.

The questions were rolling when Chris got distracted by a dog. He actually got off stage to pet the fan’s dog. “This happens every time,” you pointed at Chris. “When he sees a dog, he drops everything. I mean everything and goes to pet them. I honestly think Chris is a dog in human form and he’s tricking us all.” you explained to the crowd.

Chris finished petting the dog and awkwardly hopped back onto the stage. Then he tried to be cool by flipping his mic, but he failed when he dropped it.

“Dork,” you mumbled.

When he returned to his seat, Chris licked your face. “Since, you believe I’m a dog.”

You wiped the cheek he licked with a look of pure disgust. “You’re just mad because Dodger loves me more,” you taunted him.

The rest of the con went on with a breeze. When Chris was taking pictures with fans, some even asked you to join and you happily obliged.

By the time you left the con, you and Chris returned to the hotel and automatically prepared for bed. You didn’t realize how exhausting being at a comic-con could be.

“How do you think today went,” Chris asked from his bed while you were going through your bedtime routine in the bathroom.

“Babe, it was amazing. I don’t know why I was so worried. Is it always like this?”

Chris broke out into a smile. He knew you would fall in love with the cons, he thought it was the best part of his job. Meeting the people who loved the work he did and supported him was wonderful and Chris was glad you got to enjoy it. “Yup. It’s even more fun with RDJ there, but I’m kinda scared if you and Robert shared the same stage.”

Offended that your boyfriend didn’t want you to share a stage with one of your good friends, you poked your head through the door to peer at him. “Listen to me Evans, me and Robert would be fun on the stage.”

“That’s my point! You two you would be ganging up on me.”

Going back to your nighttime routine you manically laughed at Chris. People typically hated when you and Robert were in the same room, because you would two would team up and roast everyone in the room and Chris is usually your favorite target.

“Maybe you have a point.”

Chris and you fell into a comfortable silence while you finished getting ready for bed. You were reminiscing over the day and he was practicing his speech for you in his head for tomorrow. When you finished getting ready, you joined Chris into bed he instinctively pulled you into his embrace. He smiled against your neck and you thought he was happy at the turn of events for today, but in reality, his smile stemmed from his excitement about the ring he was planning on giving you and taking one step closer of making you Mrs. Chris Evans.

Tags: @blackreaders-assemble @chaneajoyyy @pastelastronomy24 @dumbchick @nickidub718 @valkyriesnymph @marvelmaree @lildashofmelanin @cyrioussoul @wakanda-inspired @destinio1 @toniilaney @euphoric05 @yoyolovesbucky

#black!reader #cevans #chris x black!reader #chris evans x black!reader #chris x reader #chris evans x reader #rpf #mcu rp #mcu fanfiction #mcu #marvel fanfic

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cricketrigby · 4 years

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* ( kristine froseth ) ⁠— cricket rigby has lived in somewhere for 23 years, which is crazy considering they are only twenty three. you can usually find her working at the somewhere roller rink . when i think of strawberry bubblegum, heart shaped sunglasses, & twirling the stem of a rose between your fingertips, i can’t help but think of them as well. ( pepper, twenty four, she/her, est )

ABOUT THE MUN. sick of thinking! won’t be doing that again

hello all! my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything ever in my life so it’s pretty fitting that i’m the last one to get my intro up dkjdkj love this for me,,, always on brand. anyways, i am Returning to the rpc kind of maybe after a month hiatus and i wanted something cute and chill to try and get back into the swing of things... i’m hoping this group will be that! but yeah please bear with me i am Definitely going to be a bit rusty,,,, and i am sorry in advance. but Anyways, enough about that and onto some fun facts about me. to start, i just turned twenty four two weeks ago and i am Still in shock about it so jot that down, i hate it here. i have like,,, the opposite of a green thumb, i have killed every plant i have ever had, rip peter the succulent you were a good egg. i regularly say i’m feeling ___ in this chillis tonight despite never being to chillis. i enjoy garbage movies, like the worse it is the better (tyler perry movies, the fast and the furious series, etc). i straight up don’t get like critically acclaimed movies i’m ngl,,, like really like Great movies go straight over my head rip but Anyways moving on to who we’re all here for, ms cricket rigby !

BIO. we need sluttier music…..

cricket juliet rigby was born to arthur godwin rigby and sonya marie rigby nee bankcult right here in good old somewhere florida. the story is that her parents were actually on their way out of town when cricket decided to ‘jump’ out of her mother’s belly and arrive to the party early. her parents always liked to tell the story like it was cute or funny or something but kit always saw it a bit differently. she had her chance to get out and she screwed it up. and now she’s literally never left this hell hole since. it’s like she got impatient and accidentally screwed herself over for it. and if that isn’t foreshadowing for the rest of her life she doesn’t know what is.

it was her mom’s idea to name her cricket. she said it was because of the way she used to kick with both legs in the womb. like she was jumping. her father found her name ridiculous and insisted on calling her juliet, but that was to be expected. her mother was always the fanciful one out of the pair of them. you see, ricki’s father was a pretty successful lawyer and her mother was a children’s book illustrator. to put it simply her father was the type of person to give kids floss on halloween and her mother was the type to slip you a cookie when the ‘adults’ weren’t looking. they were complete opposites, honestly to the point where sometimes cricket didn’t even understand how her parents got together. but somehow against all odds they did, and they stayed together to boot. loved each other too. her mother always made her father loosen up a bit and her father usually kept her mother grounded. they suited each other, and they adored each other in a way cricket never really saw any other parents doing. well, until they didn’t.

if cricket didn’t understand how her parents got together she sure understood why they didn’t stay together. you’d have to be blind as a bat to not see that one coming.

her parents fought constantly as cricket got older. the kind of loud, explosive fights that woke a kid up in the middle of the night and made the neighbors look at you with sympathy. there was no abuse or anything serious like that, or even cheating. her parents simply stopped liking each other. and that was honestly even scarier. that her parents could simply wake up one day and not like each other anymore.

they called it quits when cricket turned thirteen. her mother broke the news to her over a shared joint on the beach. and honestly, it wasn’t really the kind of news you wanted to process while high, but well, nobody ever asked cricket. nobody ever really asked cricket anything.

but well, her mother asked cricket one thing. to break the news to her little sister. cause yeah, she had one of those. kimberly. a regular sensible name for a regular sensible girl. not that there’s anything wrong with being regular or sensible. it’s just that cricket and her mother were neither of those things. if cricket took after her mother, then kimberly took after their father. her baby sister wanted to be an accountant for god’s sake. what six year old wants to be an accountant?

anyways, cricket played messenger. she broke the news to her sister and comforted her in the aftermath. she listened to her mother as she told fanciful, beautiful stories about how much more she wanted from her life. and one sunny thursday afternoon, the very thursday she got her first period, the very thursday that a girl really needs her mom, like really needs her mom, she came home and didn’t have one anymore. or a sister either apparently. all she had was a dad crumpled on the living room floor around a heart shaped sticky note of all things.

who leaves their fucking family with a fucking sticky note?

apparently dad was the only one in the family who didn’t know he and mom were over. cricket would feel bad about it if she wasn’t so busy feeling sorry for herself. because apparently her mother packed up her and kimmy’s things, picked up kimberly from school and just left somewhere forever. leaving cricket behind. just like that. cricket didn’t understand it. just the night before her and her mother were laying back on her bed, laughing. and now she was tossed aside like a discarded toy. second best in a two person race. cricket had never quite dealt with abandonment until that moment, but her first taste of it hurt like a bitch. it hurt all over.

but things only got worse. cause then came stella. stella was cricket’s godmother. her mother’s best friend. the woman who would slip cricket money so she could buy herself a red lipstick at the mac counter or pick herself up that tube top she’d been wanting so badly. the woman who came with cricket and her mother when she got her first bra. the woman who was supposed to be there for her in the aftermath of all this. but apparently stella took the job a bit too seriously.

she fucked her father. and not long after that she married him. cricket fought them every step of the way, but they still did it. and well, she had to live with it. her mother and best friend was gone, and this impostor was taking her place. and her father was just letting it all happen. in fact he was happy to do it. that’s what he kept telling her anyways. to let him be happy. that he deserved to be happy. but didn’t she deserve to be happy too?

her mother sent letters sometimes, and kimmy would occasionally call the house. cricket never opened the letters, and she never really spoke much to kimmy. i mean, it wasn’t kimberly’s fault, and cricket knew that. after all, she was six. she never had a choice either. but cricket couldn’t help being jealous of the little shit. kimberly missed dad so much and she wanted to come home. but she was out of somewhere, and she was with mom. she had everything cricket ever wanted and she wasn’t even appreciating it. it was a hard pill to swallow. eventually cricket started cutting the calls short.

cricket and her father never saw eye to eye. he kicked her out of the house when she was seventeen after an argument between cricket and stella got so bad that things got physical on both their parts. and instead of kicking out the woman who hit his daughter, arthur got rid of the daughter instead. cricket didn’t mind. she simply went to live with her boyfriend at the time (who much like all of cricket’s boyfriends in the past was handsome, cool, and most importantly old enough to have his own place). after that she never really turned back. just... moved from boyfriends place to boyfriends place to girlfriends place to boyfriends place. saw her dad on holidays or when she needed money or under duress. and stayed in somewhere. for now.

PERSONALITY. feeling like the prettiest girl in the crawl space right now

as you can probably tell from that mess of an bio, this is my first time playing cricket so i don’t really have her personality nailed down yet BUT

ECCENTRIC. cricket got her mother’s weird hippy gene for sure honestly. she might even be an artist lowkey because of it. definitely is the type to just say weird as hell shit without shame. your local manic pixie dream girl tbh

PROMISCUOUS. she a hoe and that’s a fact. love that for her though! gets around and is pretty shameless about it honestly. just here for a good time. kind of charming naturally and just generally like?? flirtatious?? the type to flirt with a cop to get out of a ticket. also the type to cry to get out of a really bad dad. the type to go on a date just cause her fridge is empty and yk a girl’s gotta eat. the kind of girl who had a bunch of rumours about her in high school like that she slept with so and so under the bleachers at an assembly or that she once did something nearly impossible on a trampoline.

CONTRADICTORY. cricket is a compassionate person but she can also hold a grudge for a long ass time. still doesn’t really talk to her mom or little sister. but if you need a ride across town cricket will just give it to you even if she barely knows you. if you’re hungry and come to the roller rink she will slip you some fries free of charge even if she’ll probably get in trouble for it. will fight her stepmom ON SIGHT and slam a bitch down during roller derby but like will get so excited over something simple like the moon being out sdkdskj this bitch makes no sense y’all.

MYSTERIOUS. at least to other people i feel like. cricket doesn’t really talk about herself or serious things, and she will change the topic if someone is getting too close. she’s the type who doesn’t open up easy, and therefore the type that a lot of guys like... idealize and build up into this mysterious untouchable thing yk? but she’s just a dumb girl who doesn’t want to talk about her feelings underneath it all sdkjdkj she’s just stupid

HEADCANNONS. at least whatever is wrong with me is really really funny

lost her virginity at fourteen around the anniversary of her mother leaving. unfortunately the type who seeks love and acceptance in all the wrong places. tends to self sabotage when things are too good, or literally just go for people who are bad for her. bi af tho hey~ has been in more relationships than she can count for sure. will duck behind a wall when she sees any of her exes at the grocery store.

does ROLLER DERBY! will fight a bitch in the ring! very good at it despite how cute and angelic she looks sdksdk can and WILL slam a bitch into a wall. it’s just a fun hobby for her, but she loved the camraderie of it honestly. her team is a ragtag group of misfits and i Love them

like i said in the chat, will now put up posters around town with a cute little polaroid of herself and her number on those little tab things just for shits and giggles to see who calls. will completely prank anyone who does call for fun

idk why but i feel like the roller rink is called l8r sk8r or something cheesy like that,,, i feel it in my Soul. also imagine the type of place where cricket goes around on rollerblades serving food, so yeah, you can order food probably and some showy girl on rollerblades will serve it to you

has been a muse before. like guys have written songs about her in high school. one guy painted a portrait of her and it went in a literal gallery. is always very flattered but very like,,, cool thanks bye!

i totally forgot to include this but the rigby’s are rich y’all. like country club rich. her daddy’s got that big money and their house is Huge but you would never be able to tell by the way cricket acts, she’s a mess.

speaking of, her name is indeed cricket (rip) but you can call her kit, kitty, rick, ricki, jiminey,,, all of it is valid

the vibe is madchen amick folks,,, that’s the whole vibe and honestly she’s probably cricket’s style inspo like twin peaks??? maybe her favourite show

a feel like she might also be a lifeguard as a side hustle, but she only ever fills in when no one else can you know. she’s the emergency call in, and when she’s there she spends most of her time sitting in her lifeguard chair in her little red swim suit and flirting with whoever comes by to see her like sdkjsd is she good at her job? no. does she bring traffic to the beach? probably!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

i would love an ex for her honestly,,, an ex bf or gf where cricket sabotaged things just when they were getting good? an ex on good terms maybe! an ex will they won’t they thing where they almost got together but never did? an old childhood crush for either party! a childhood enemy is also sexy! an old neighbor! someone who’s sibling she used to date or something! someone new to town that she’s intrigued by! someone new to town she doesn’t get along with (maybe cause of a bad first impression or something?) a one night stand! a fwb! a ewb! a BEST FRIEND GOD PLEASE! m or f i am down either way. i would kill for a girl squad though. maybe an ex best friend who hates cricket cause she slept with their boyfriend in high school or something. a party friend! someone she does roller derby with. someone she always sees in the crowd during roller derby. idk someone who she regularly sees at the motel she has her hookups at, maybe cause they’re also hooking up or maybe cause they just come to the motel often for some reason or honestly maybe they’re a vacationer that would make sense. uh someone she saved from drowning one time! OH someone she pretended to be dating to make an ex jealous or avoid one or something at one point,,,and anything else tbh we can absolutely brain storm! like this and i will slide into your dms <3

#vthqintro #kristine's smile in the gif above... that's it that's the tag #c.r. | bio.

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princess-of-the-corner · 5 years

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Lady Luck AU: The Queen’s Battle Trilogy + Miraculer

In the show, these episodes deal heavily with Chloé’s plot of getting the Bee Miraculous. However, in Lady Luck, she’s had the Ladybug Miraculous since day one. So of course these episodes are going to change. A lot!

So let’s discuss that! Uh, slight trigger warning for Audrey’s shitty parenting.

Style Queen:

When Audrey shows up, Chloé is conflicted.

She still wants her mother’s love and attention, but Chloé has made actual progress toward not being a jerk.

She doesn’t want to agree with her mother’s comments, but when she tries to be nice she gets told off.

After they bump into Marinette, Chloé sticks by her instead of her mother.

They talk a little, mostly a ‘oh god no wonder you were terrible if that’s what you grew up with.’.

Mari also reassures her that she doesn’t have to be like that.

The events of Audrey getting Akumatized are the same, and Style Queen turns Adrien into a glitter statue.

Realizing that not only are they down one teammate, but that Chloé will not be at her best fighting her mother, she decides to go to Master Fu for a new Hero.

First she tells Marinette to stay and try to find Style Queen’s weaknesses. But prioritize herself over the mission.

Marinette Transforms into Fennette and both head off.

After getting the Bee Miraculous, Chloé heads to Sabrina’s house.

Their talk is a little rushed because, you know, Akuma to fight.

But Chloé is basically like “I know we haven’t been hanging out as much and sometimes I disappear at random, but I promise I have a good reason and you’ll find out after you open this box!’.

Sabrina takes the comb and minorly freaks out when Pollen appears.

Chloé explains that this is the Bee Miraculous, and Pollen is a Kwami who will help Sabrina become a Hero.

Sabrina then has a bigger freak out over ‘holy shit you’re Lady Luck!’.

Chloé cuts her off with a ‘we can discuss this later. Right now we need to go fight my mom.’

Lady Luck and Abielle go meet up with Fennette, who has done a decent job studying Style Queen while staying in the shadows

The three battle Style Queen, and it goes easier than in Canon, with Fennette making an Illusion of Gabriel to bait her, and Abielle using Venom to give them a few minutes of peace to deal with the Akumatized Object.

Plagg probably still destroys something though.

Queen Wasp

The fashion show goes off as normal, though with Chloé and Sabrina hanging with Marinette (much to the confusion of Mari’s parents and Alya)

Gabriel shows up to check on Adrien. He also low-key checks on Chloé and Marinette because fuck you that’s why.

Legit though, I do write Gabriel caring about both of them.

With Chloé, it’s because she was Adrien’s friend since they were little, so he knows her fairly well and does think of her as part of the family.

With Marinette, it’s more like ‘Hello future daughter-in-law!’.

Audrey still offers to take Marinette to New York

Marinette herself is a hell of a lot more hesitant, having seen how Audrey treats her own daughter.

Chloé is still fucking pissed. Because she’s wanted her mother’s love and attention for so long, but instead Audrey is giving that to some random girl she just met instead of her own daughter.

Then Audrey drops the ‘the only thing exceptional about you, is your mother!’ line. And hoo boy.

For Chloé, this is one of those ‘five seconds feels like five years’ type situations.

She wants to do something. To prove herself. Part of her does think about transforming into Lady Luck, and being all “I’m a superhero! Isn’t that exceptional?!”, but she realizes that it won’t be enough for Audrey, because nothing’s ever enough

And everything just kinda… clicks into place with that. The realization that nothing she does will be something Audrey considers ‘exceptional’, because the goal is always pushed further and further back.

And the realization that she doesn’t need Audrey to think anything of her.

Chloé snaps, getting this manic look that makes everyone back up a few feet. She tells Audrey that she’s going to get through to her in the only way that matters. Ruining her precious reputation.

She then heads over to the news reporters and says ‘Hey, Nadja! Wanna hear the one thing Audrey Bourgeois isn’t ‘exceptional’ at? Being a good mother!’.

Chloé goes tf off on her mother, shouting everything she’s ever felt at her. How much she’s hated everything, especially herself. How miserable she was being a jerk to everyone. How much happier she is when she’s not trying to gain the love and attention she’ll never be ‘worthy of’. How she’s stuck in this place of depression over ‘I’ll never be enough for you’ and rage over ‘why the hell aren’t I enough!?”

Audrey is trying to do bare-minimum damage control. Just telling Chloé to stop because she’s ‘making a scene’. Every time uses some variation of her name, it only fuels Chloé’s anger, and she brings it up. “Chloé! My name is Chloé! What kind of mother can’t even bother to remember her daughter’s name!

Chloé eventually brings out the ‘big guns’, AKA: Emilie Agreste. Because Emilie and Audrey were supposedly friends. She accuses Audrey of not caring about her either. After all, she didn’t even come back to Paris after hearing that Emilie was missing!

She even goes as far to ask ‘did you even pause and worry for five seconds when they told you she was gone? Probably not. Just shrugged and went back to firing your tenth assistant of the week!’.

Eventually she says something that makes Audrey angry enough to actually slap her. And while everyone else had been frozen at the fight, they start handling the situation.

First people to move are Marinette’s parents, with Tom shielding Chloé from her mother while Sabine cusses out Audrey in rapidfire Chinese

Adrien, Marinette, and Sabrina all physically pull Chloé out of the situation. Taking her somewhere safe. Maybe back to the hotel?

While Gabriel doesn’t get into the situation, he does catch Chloé’s eye and give an approving nod to her actions. (Because while Gabe is a fuck sometimes, he does care about Adrien and his friends, and tbh while he respects Audrey’s talent, he’s wanted to knock her down a peg for a long ass time.)

Chloé’s dad, however, is still frozen in shock. But we’ll get to him later.

Her friends take her somewhere safe to ride out the rest of the breakdown.

She goes through a ‘manic’ phase first. She feels great, but also full of rage. She’s grinning but wants do do something destructive. She kinda half-hopes for an Akuma so she has something to direct that at.

She apologizes to Adrien for bringing up his mom too.

Eventually she hits the full breakdown point and starts crying. This time though, she has her friends to comfort her.

‘Queen Wasp’ doesn’t really happen. Gabriel kinda decided to give her a break on this, so no butterflies come for her.

Malediktator

This picks up from the end of ‘Queen Wasp’, with Adrien, Marinette and Sabrina comforting Chloé.

At some point, Chloé’s dad shows up, already Akumatized into Maediktator.

He insists on taking Chloé with him, and the Heroes decide that it’d be better to play along for now so that they can escape and transform later.

Chloé herself is more in shock, and feels guilty over her dad’s Akumatization, knowing it probably had something to do with what happened.

Malediktator’s actions are entirely to try and make Chloé happy.

He commands Audrey to be an actual caring mother(for once), and all of a sudden she’s showering Chloé with love and affection. Telling her how wonderful and very exceptional she is.

He uses his power to make several teens(mostly the classmates) adore Chloé and wish to be her friend.

At some point the others sneaked away to transform, and when they show back up Malediktator demands that they give Chloé one of the Miraculous, as is wonderful and deserves such an honor!

At first, Chloé is still in breakdown mode. Just kind of going along with everything.

But after a while, everything just hurts more and more. Because this version of her mother that loves her? The classmates who adore her? They only exist because of a magic spell.

And while she still feels guilty about her dad getting Akumatized, it does make her feel better to know he’s just trying to help her.

Malediktator begs Chloé to tell him what will make her happy. She tells him that she just wants him back to normal.

Obvs there’s the conflict there, as Akumas don’t usually want to give up their power, but doing that would make her happy.

This distracts him long enough for Abielle to use Venom and freeze him in place.

Chloé sneaks off to transform, drop in long enough to purify the Butterfly and change things back to normal.

After all this, Chloé and her dad talk for a while.

He apologizes for everything. Like, he knew Audrey was… high maintenance. And kind of a bitch. But he never realized how bad things were for Chloé.

Like, it seemed like he’d always been able to cheer her up. Telling her she’s great anyway, buying gifts, everything. He also didn’t hear how bad Chloé had been to her classmates, because the school staff was always too scared to report her.

She understands that he tried, and reassures him that he did help. She’d probably be worse without him. Hell, she might even be the kind of person Audrey would like, which isn’t the person she wants to be anymore.

Eventually, he asks her if she’s at all happy being around her mother, if she would rather try and fix things or let Audrey go back to New York. Chloé answers honestly. She doesn’t really care where her mother goes. She doesn’t need her. She’s happy without her.

After that, he’s like ‘well in that case, time for a divorce!’.

Chloé starts to go ‘wait, no!’ at that.

But he assures her that this was a long time coming. The relationship honesty hasn’t been right in a long time. Audrey had always been…. High maintenance… but she’s gotten worse and worse and she’s never even in the same country anymore!

The only reason he kept trying to make it work was because Chloé had ‘adored’ her mother before. But considering everything that just happened? That’s it. He was highly debating divorce anyway after the fight(and especially the slap), but he wanted to ask Chloé first.

She ends up seeking comfort at Marinette’s place.

Mari’s parents kind of assume the worst at first. Like, the ‘she needs somewhere to stay now’ worst. But Chloé explains that’s not the case.

There’s a bit of venting, and Mari and her family are like ‘okay look if you need somewhere to stay, even if it’s just to get away for a while, you can stay here’.

She’s going to take up that offer a lot.

Miraculer

So, Lila has nothing to do with this plot. Because 1. Chloé knows she’s a trick ass bitch 2. there’s no issue over the Bee Miraculous.

Anyway, after the events of the Queen’s Battle Tirlogy, Chloé spends a lot of time at Marinette’s house. Because out of her close circle of friends, it’s the one she finds the most comforting.

She cares about Sabrina, but Roger kinda hates her so she feels unwelcome in her home

Adrien’s place reminds her too much of Emilie, so it hurts to be there(something Adrien agrees with).

All other friends she’s made so far are nice, but their families aren’t as ready to welcome her in all the time.

Meanwhile, Tom and Sabine saw what happened with Audrey and went ‘Where’s the adoption papers?!’.

Episode starts with Chloé at Mari’s place. Along with some of the rest of the group at that point. At least Adrien and Sabrina probably. They get a text from another friend telling them to check out the news channel.

Turning on the tv, they see an interview with Audrey discussing the divorce. Specifically, which parent gets custody of Chloé.

Audrey is playing it up in the interview, talking about how this whole ordeal has ‘made her realize how distant she’d been the past few years’. Obviously Chloé just wanted to spend more time with her mother! And full custody would help give them the time they needed!

She’s very obviously trying to control the situation. Make herself look like a misunderstood victim. And potentially, get control over Chloé again to make her more obedient and horrible.

Audrey says she’ll definitely get custody, even after the ‘incident’, because she’ll be taking Chloé to New York with her. Somewhere far away from all the dangerous Akumas.

Naturally Chloé is very distressed by that.

Not only is she finally starting to feel happy with a handful of people who genuinely care about her, but she’s Lady Luck. Lady Luck can’t just leave!

The whole thing sends her into a panic attack.

Chloé is very nearly Akumatized over it, but her friends manage to help her pull together. They’re not going to let Audrey take her away.

While she’s safe, the Butterfly heads to someone who is less ‘distressed’ and more ‘filled with righteous fury’

Sabine Cheng gets Akumatized.

I’m debating on her Akuma name. The canonical ‘Verity Queen’ fits, but I was also thinking about ‘Godmother’. Like, a ‘fairy godmother’ theme.

Sabine’s anger is half ‘How dare someone treat their child like this’, and half ‘My daughter now!’.

Godmother, naturally, goes after Audrey.

It’s a tough fight. Partly because Chloé is very tempted to let Godmother kick Audrey’s ass, and partly because Marinette is hesitant to fight her mom.

And also because even though they’re trying to fight her, Godmother is more like ‘You’re all children! How dare this responsibility be handed to you!? You’re my kids now too.”

Eventually they do defeat her, and they end up in front of cameras, with Nadja trying to get answers about Sabine’s Akumatization and Audrey trying to get Lady Luck to agree with her about how ‘dangerous’ this city is.

While Lady Luck remains somewhat calm, as she can distance herself from the situation by talking in third person, she goes tf off on Audrey again.

She explains to Nadja that the Butterfly was originally after Chloé, who was having a panic attack over the idea of Audrey taking her away from her friends and ‘real family’. That Chloé was able to avoid being Akumatized, but the Butterfly went after Sabine who wanted to protect a girl she cared for like a daughter now.

When Audrey plays the ‘it’s so dangerous here because of the Akumas’ card, Lady Luck asks ‘are you implying that we can’t do our job?’. She also points out that Heroes and Villains and Magic exist everywhere, even in New York.

Most importantly, she says “I think Chloé is far safer with the woman who got Akumatized over wanting to protect someone she cares about, than she is with the woman who got Akumatized over ‘being put in the second row’, don’t you think?’.

Oh? You’re probably wondering about Mayura. Well…. I might stretch this out into a two-parter since the Akuma took up so much.

Chloé heads back to her hotel, thankfully walking through the lobby and up the elevator instead of swinging in as Lady Luck, because Mayura is in the room waiting for her.

Chloé is hella on guard, wondering if Mayura figured out her secret identity. She doesn’t transform just yet though.

Mayura is here to offer a deal of sorts.

She explains how the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous have such amazing power. That they can do so much, give her anything she wants.

Anything, including the mother that loves her.

Chloé scoffs at that, saying she doesn’t want some magic spell version of Audrey to love her, so Mayura can take her offer and shove it.

Mayura clarifies that she wasn’t referring to Chloé’s biological mother, but the mother figure who recently disappeared.

Yeah. Basically the offer is Gabriel and Nathalie banking on the idea that Chloé wants Emilie back just as much as they do.

The plan involves first testing the waters, seeing if she’d join them for the reward of saving Emilie. If she does, then they’ll let her in on identities.

From there, they’d use her to make Akumas. Either Akumatizing her directly over and over, or having her be a jerk and cause negative emotions.

If she steals the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous, then great. If she steals one of the others, then she can use that instead.

If she steals two of the others, they might let Adrien in on the plan.

Side note: the reason they’re using Chloé instead of Adrien for this is because Adrien is a bit softer, less likely to fight(as far as they know), and even more unlikely to fight on the ‘dark side’.

What they didn’t expect was Chloé judo flipping Mayura, pinning her to the floor, and interrogating her.

Mayura might be stronger than Chloé when not transformed, but Chloé had the element of surprise.

Chloé also taps into her Aura Vision stuff and finds out that the Peacock is broken.

Basically Chloé interpreted the offer as more of a ‘we know where she is and if you help us we’ll help you’ thing.

She’s turning the threat around. ‘Tell me everything you know about what happened to Emilie or I will fight you without magic’.

Mayura manages to keep her cool and clarifies that she meant it literally, the Miraculous could help bring Emilie back, no matter where she is.

Once Chloé gives a definitive answer of ‘I’m not going to become a supervillain and hurt everyone else just to bring her back to me!’, Mayura breaks out of her hold and runs off.

After making sure she’s left, Chloé texts the team, and Master Fu, to meet right the hell now.

I already mentioned the ‘Titan’s Tower’ System

Everyone shows up and she tells them what just happened with Mayura

She assures them that her identity isn’t in danger because Mayura didn’t even look at her earrings, much less try to take them.

She also asks Master Fu about the broken Peacock, what it’s effects are, and how to deal with it

Chloé also brings up the ‘Gabriel might be Hawkmoth’ thing

I mean, she never really dropped it after The Collector, but still. This is a time to bring it up. Because Mauyra specifically brought up Emilie.

Adrien reminds her that Gabriel was Akumatized, and she points out that he has Mayura, who could’ve Akumatized him.

They also come to the conclusion that if Gabriel is Hawmoth, than Mayura is Nathalie.

The team debates back and forth on this

Ultimately, they decide that while Gabriel and Nathalie are good suspects, they’re the only good suspects that they know about. There’s a decent chance that Hawkmoth and Mayura are some random people that they’ve never met and have no connection to.

They do decide to keep an eye on them though.

#Lady Luck AU

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thelazyeye · 5 years

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hey idk if you're taking requests right now but if you are could you write something about one of them getting their wisdom teeth taken out (being high af after lol) and the other taking care of them? either way thank u and you're a great writer !!

First, THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHH.

I don’t know if you wanted a prompt or a drabble, but you got a whole ass mini fic out of me, so I hope you’re happy :P I love this prompt super much, thank you for sending it in!!!

Read here or below the cut!

Richie was…. A handful to say the least. When Eddie offered to take him up on being his Little Nurse, he didn’t expect it to be a full-time job. Richie had come to him practically begging to be taken care of. Oh please, Eds, please. I couldn’t possibly trust anyone else with my life. You’re my nurse! You always take care of me! Please, please help me!

God, what a fool he’d been.

Richie’s wisdom teeth removal had gone off without a problem, despite Richie’s constant yammering about how he would surely meet his maker in that operation room. Now, he’s currently positioned in the front seat of Eddie’s car with his head lolled against the window and gauze bandages stuffed in his mouth.

Getting him out of the hospital had been… a process to say the least. He flirted with everything in sight, but mostly Eddie. Eddie pretended not to notice the way Richie was making grabby hands at him more than the nurses, or how his droll always seemed to fall in Eddie’s direction. He tried even harder not to notice how Richie asked for the nurses’ numbers. He tried not to notice anything because everything made him uncomfortable. And that was what he tried not to notice most of all.

That was another thing, too. Drool is a loose term. It was more like opaque blood. The doctor had to hand Eddie a barf bag and guide him through some breathing techniques so he didn’t have a full-blown panic attack. He doesn’t even have wisdom teeth, why the hell didn’t anyone warn him how disgusting it would be?

“’eh, Eh-duh,” Richie’s muffled voice effectively shakes Eddie from his thoughts. He glances over to find Richie facing him, cheeks swollen out like a chipmunks and eyes completely glazed over, “Ah luh yuh.”

“I love you, too, Richie,” Eddie says back, turning back and keeping his eyes on the road. He does love Richie, but right now he can hardly look at him. It’s a mixture of the gross way Richie’s facial fluids are falling out of him and the way his heart seems to shake in his chest.

Why the fuck is this happening now, of all times? Richie has been nothing but annoying since they left the hospital. Eds, can we get Planet Smoothie? Eds, can we get ice cream? Eds, can you hold my hand?

Eddie struck down each and every one of Richie’s outlandish requests – except the hand holding one, but that was only because he had to practically carry Richie into his car.

Richie doesn’t respond. He just turns back to the window and watches their neighborhood pass them by. Eddie can see Richie’s house in the distance but he wants to turn around, circle the block a few more times before he has to help Richie up and into his bedroom. He doesn’t want to feel the way his skin lights on fire when Richie touches him. He doesn’t care for the way his breath quickens or how his heart speeds up.

Fuck all of this, honestly.

Eddie doesn’t have time to consider circling the block in a serious way because Richie starts yelling, “Ho, ho!” which Eddie can only assume means ‘home’ through the gauze in his mouth.

He begrudgingly pulls into the driveway and cuts the engine, “Alright Richie, ready for bed?”

Richie, thank god, opts for a nod instead of spitting more bloody fluid over the dashboard of his car and Eddie gets out and goes around to help him. He can’t ignore the way Richie leans into him when he reaches across Richie’s waist to unbuckle the seatbelt.

“Alright, up and at ‘em,” he grunts as he grabs Richie’s arm and hoists him out of the car. Richie practically flops like a ragdoll into Eddie and sends them both stumbling onto the driveway. “C’mon, Rich, I need you to work with me here.”

Richie doesn’t.

He makes getting inside as hard as it could possibly be and Eddie is sweating by the time they’re up to the second level of the house. He’s huffing and grunting and Richie is fucking giggling like an idiot the entire fucking time. Once they’re inside, Eddie all but tosses Richie’s limp body onto the bed.

“Fuck you, Rich,” He murmurs as he leans down to untie each converse and slip them off Richie’s feet. He pays little attention to the way Richie shifts and moves on the bedspread until he hears Richie’s voice, clear as day even through the heavy medication.

“My Eds is so good to me. I’m so lucky to have such a kind, perfect boy –”

“Richie, your gauze, you need to put it back in!”

“– There’s no one I’d rather have here in my room with me. God, I love him so much. I wish he knew –”

“Hey, stop, come on!”

If Richie hears him, he certainly pays zero attention to the way Eddie chastises him. His eyes are closed and his brows are furrowed in what looks like either a look of real concentration or pain. Maybe both. Probably both, considering he just had four rather large teeth ripped out of his skull.

“– He has no idea. No clue. My Eds, so smart and wonderful and silly and stupid. No – wait. That’s me. I’m stupid.”

Concern floods Eddie’s system as he stands up on his knees and leans towards Richie. “Whoa, Rich. What are you talking about?”

“My Eds,” Richie fully whines into the bed. His eyes are still clenched up but Eddie swears he can see tears forming at the corners. “He doesn’t love me!”

“Richie, hey, no way. He totally loves you. He’s your best friend. He loves you lots,” Eddie coos. He smooths his hand over Richie’s back in an attempt to calm him but it only seems to work him up further.

“No! No, he doesn’t!” He kicks his feet out like a petulant child and Eddie has to move slightly closer to the top of the bed to avoid being struck.

“He does, Richie. I promise you.” Eddie brings his hand up to Richie’s hair and digs his fingers into the scalp in that gentle way he knows Richie loves. Richie’s distress is alarming and it’s burrowing into Eddie’s own. He can’t stand to see Richie like this, upset because of something relating to Eddie. Eddie never wants to be that. He never wants to cause Richie distress and upset and sadness. He only wants to be happiness and love and – and. Fucking hell he wants to be love. “Sh, it’s okay.”

“He doesn’t and I’m so stupid for wanting him to!” Richie sobs. His chest shakes and Eddie can see blood starting to come out of his mouth with the motion. Eddie knows he needs to get that gauze back into Richie’s mouth but his desperate need to console Richie overpowers that. “I love him and I want him to love me and that makes me stupid.” Richie’s voice calms down from a manic cry to a slurred lull. His body begins to still and Eddie just sits there and stares at Richie. The room goes completely silent, neither of them so much as breathing until Richie whispers, “I’m so, so in love with him and he doesn’t even know it.”

What?

Richie loves him? Richie’s in love with him? What the actual fuck?

Eddie doesn’t reply. He doesn’t move, fingers stilled in Richie’s hair and eyes glued to the wall next to the bed. He says like that for five, maybe ten minutes. Long enough for Richie to fall asleep and his tears to dry on his face. Long enough for Richie to snore slightly, drool and blood collecting on his pillow case and – fuck. Eddie’s going to need to clean that up.

Eddie’s going to need to clean all of this up, isn’t he?

#Anonymous #Em Answers #Em posts #my writing #Reddie #it 2017 #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #fanfic #richie #eddie #richie x eddie #it novel #stephen king #it fanfic #reddie fanfic #reddie fan fiction

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 5 years

Text

Episode 115: Adventures in Light Distortion

”There's no time.”

Steven recently had a really long day. It began with checking out an art exhibit at the barn, and ended in a spaceship grappling with his mother’s dark and secret past. It had its moments, like fusing into Smoky Quartz, but all in all it was life-changingly bad. It’s not fair that another such day has come for him so soon, but here he is.

We don’t have a moment to waste as this follow-up to Steven’s Dream opens, because every second spent on Earth is a second where Greg is speeding further from it. Steven is already blaming himself for the abduction, adding a more personal sense of rush to the affair. The irony is that while Blue Diamond’s actions aren’t his fault, the guilt he harbors causes serious mistakes that are his fault. But considering the dire circumstances, who could blame him?

Even the exposition here is swift and economical, as Garnet gives Amethyst and Pearl the lowdown on our last episode and Pearl dusts off her old Pearlsplaining cap from Season 1 to tell us about the Zoo. As is standard to this show, we learn important plot details while developing the character relaying them: in this case, on top of being a great showcase of Pearl’s nerves (“Amethyst, turn into a chair, I need to sit down!”), we add new wrinkles to her past. Her terror is informed by how anxious she was at seeing the palanquin in Steven’s Dream, and that brief moment of her eyes darting away from “When I still served...Homeworld” speaks volumes. We’ll go into more detail later about the implications of the Zoo and Pink Diamond’s efforts to help Earth through half-measures before going full Rose, but for now, it’s a terrific beat in retrospect that Pearl only knows where Greg was taken because she served the creator of his new prison.

With the Gems all caught up, we get straight to business prepping for takeoff, and it’s here that Steven makes his first two mistakes. First, he brushes off Peridot, the planet’s most qualified expert in modern Gem space travel. He doesn’t even invite her along, despite how obviously helpful she would be. Impatience trumps any sense of caution, and while it doesn’t make much sense for him to leave a helpful ally behind even in his frazzled state, her inability to grasp the importance of the situation (mixing serious travel concerns with pointless aesthetic quibbles) perhaps makes her a liability in his mind. Regardless, his second mistake is even bigger when it comes to his personal life, and it also involves leaving someone behind.

Yes, there’s no time to waste. So no, he probably shouldn’t have waited for Connie. He even tasks her with defending Beach City, showing that he does value her as a fighter as well as a friend. By itself, this probably wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But alongside his second foray into space down the line, it’s understandable that Connie starts to think that Steven doesn’t take her as seriously as he should. While there’s truth to that, the bigger issue is that Steven thinks that he alone should bear the burden of his perceived mistakes, and while it’s only hinted at now, that sense of martyrdom only gets worse as his guilt grows. This is a throwaway moment in the episode, but has major ramifications down the line.

And then we’re off! I’m honestly not into the gag of Pearl still not getting that 70 years is a long time for humans—it works early on, such as in Space Race, but she definitely would know better by now—and it’s joined by her not knowing the word for “birthday” despite several episodes introducing her to the concept. She’s grown a lot, and at times the show doesn’t seem to want to reflect this when an easy joke can be made. But at least she’s good at winding her way through a variety of space rocks, including tiny sentient ones.

Upon remembering the whole reality warping element of modern Gem space travel, Steven makes another hasty decision in boosting the speed, despite acknowledging that it might kill him. I mean, he makes a joke about how syrup can go with his new pancaked form, but it’s still an acknowledgment that self-sacrifice is a badge he’s proud to wear. And while it’s obviously a good thing that he survives, it can’t be healthy for his self-image to be proven right when he takes actions that might hurt or kill himself to help others.

Perhaps not wanting to delve too deeply into that topic quite yet, we get an extended comedy bit about the weird distortions the Gems face as physics gets wonky, as well as a small lesson about how light constructs work (complete with unusually cartoony diagrams, such as the one above comparing heights). I’m surprised by how effective the humor is; it’s not riotously funny to me or anything, but considering the stakes it really ought to feel annoying and in the way, and it works just fine. Part of the reason is that there’s nothing else to do while we’re waiting for the ship to arrive, so nothing feels interrupted. But I also appreciate it because it finally starts to show how destructive Steven’s rashness can be.

Activating the gravity engine was a choice that was reckless, but made sense: Steven needed to get to his dad in fewer than 70 years. But frantically pressing buttons he doesn’t understand to fix the Gems, instead of letting a more experienced hand figure it out, is almost frustratingly dumb. I say “almost” because it’s crystal clear by now that Steven is losing it, and the sight gags of our growing and shrinking Gems can’t hide that something is going to go wrong. When it inevitably does, and Steven is alone for the first time since Greg’s abduction, all that manic energy collapses into the grief he’s been trying to put at bay.

After the little visualized diagrams and the distorting forms of the Gems, we get an even more impressive animation-exclusive sequence: the striking use of onion skinning to convey the mindbending speed of the ship. Together with the ruby red lighting and the immediate disappearance of the Gems’ bodies, the tone lurches from one form of alarm to another. What was once a frenzied dash to fix things becomes a life-threatening race against the clock, and allows for one of the best performances of Zach Callison’s tenure on the show.

Steven has panicked before, but the greatest asset of this episode is Callison’s ability to crank it up a notch and sell the sheer stupefying terror of not knowing what to do in a crisis. He’s amazing throughout the episode as he practically hyperventilates his lines without delving into overdramatic emoting, but his despair as he’s left all alone on a doomed ship is heartwrenching.

It takes a strong performer and good, earnest writing to make a scene like this work, because verbally laying out all of your problems could come across as just telling instead of showing, and openly weeping can falter in any number of ways. It could’ve been melodramatic, it could’ve been overly childish, it could’ve been incoherent, and instead it’s a raw and moving outburst of sorrow after an episode where huge tears were a reaction to danger instead of emotion.

It’s also a great choice to follow up this moment of anguish with quieter determination. Instead of narrating his newfound resolve as he tries again to turn off the warp speed, this time eventually succeeding, the sequence is wordless and tense. Steven doesn’t need to tell us why he’s trying so hard, and after such a strong speech there’s no need to gild the lily when visuals work on their own.

The return of the Gems coincides with the return of regular light and animation, creating a palpable sense of relief despite it being sort of a given that they weren’t really going to kill off three main characters in this episode. Garnet provides Steven some much-needed reassurance, and while it doesn’t solve his martyr complex forever, it’s a welcome capper to the episode.

The logistics of an episode that’s literally just getting our characters from one place to another can’t be easy to navigate. If the crew wanted, we could’ve used that warp speed to jump straight to the action. Still, despite moving faster than light, it’s nice to slow down from the huge cliffhanger of Steven’s Dream to let our hero have a moment to collect his thoughts. Now that the initial shock has had a chance to pass, we can proceed with the rescue operation with a competent Steven that isn’t unrealistically okay with how things are going, and as a bonus we get our second episode since Bubbled that explores Steven’s increasingly sacrificial mindset. Everything working out for the best may seem like a neat way to finish Adventures in Light Distortion, but we’ll see the downsides in time.

Future Vision!

Yes, Steven leaving Connie behind is a catalyst for the Breakup Arc. But perhaps more importantly, they combine with Garnet similarly tasking Peridot and Lapis to protect Beach City to form the Crystal Temps!

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

A perfectly good entry in the Steven Universe catalog, bolstered by an amazing performance from Zach Callison, but ultimately an episode that isn’t too special on its own. It needs Steven’s Dream to pack its full punch, and the victory at the end is just reaching our next episode safely. Still, I like it!

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

6. Horror Club 5. Fusion Cuisine 4. House Guest 3. Onion Gang 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#adventures in light distortion #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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Top 5 Breakdowns over David Tennant- any fandom/show/ play you've seen? I really liked the dw one you did, just hoping you could expand over/ include other things he's been in.

Oh anon you are QUITE the enabler thank you.

So this is like half actual breakdown list and half just like David Tennant recommendations in general because I love that funky little scot.

+1. This isn’t going on the official list because I already did the previous list you mentioned (i’m glad you liked it, btw!!!) but yeah. Doctor Who. He plays the doctor in a very fuckin uhh mercutial way (he plays a lot of characters that way and I am 100% enamored by it every fuckin time he just does it SO WELL AUGH) and like highs were so high and the lows were so low and he was so FURIOUS AND CRUEL but also so GENTLE AND KIND and like oof!! The multifacetedness bitch!!!! That’s what it’s all about babey!!!

5. Good omens. I mean, duh. There was no fucking way I was gonna survive good omens. Like, honestly, even without miss tennant I wouldn’t have survived it because HA HA HA HA H O L Y SHIT MY FAVORITE BOOK FOR THE LAST DECADE WAS GETTING AN ACTUAL SCREEN ADAPTATION I GENUINELY DID NOT THINK WE WOULD EVER BE HERE THIS SHIT IS LIT. but then but THEN it was like. The way that he portrayed crowley definitely fit into a particular niche that david tennant KILLS. Like god okay I could spend an whole fucking essay on this point so I’m gonna distill this down to just. THE moment that I was like “okay okay okay okay fuck I’m GOING THROUGH IT” was when his voice cracks as he tells aziraphale that he lost his best friend because like in context OOF and out of context I have been Pavlovian trained for the past decade to Utterly Lose My Shit when David Tennant is like this close to crying and he expresses that with his whole body THE ASSHOLE! LET ME REST. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS MISTER!!

4. The Escape Artist. Lesser known (I think?), but a VERY GOOD miniseries! The tone is much darker, and he’s a much more serious character. Similar vibes, role wise, to broadchurch. I’m not sure how much rewatch value it has but watching it for the first time had me like MISSION STATUS: SICK!!!! It’s like a cat and mouse mystery and like. I’m not gonna go to in depth into the story because I think it’s more enjoyable to go into it not knowing much and too me it was one of those things that took like 3 hours to watch all of and a full week or two to like. Process. Also I’m not usually one for drama and I was ABOUT it so I would recommend!!!

3. JESSICA JONES (season 1). Holy FUCK dude. Definitely his darkest and most evil role, and the subject matter is VERY heavy and I definitely would NOT recommend it for everyone because it could be, how you say, triggering as fuck or even just because it is incredibly dark and that might not be your thing. Funnily enough, it’s DEFINITELY not my thing, personally, I tend to avoid narratives about sexual assault because so many of them are, uh, ya know, bad, but Jessica Jones season 1 really is done FANTASTICALLY! The David Tennant breakdown was just a level of cognitive dissonance because I had never seen him play like a VILLAIN villain. I mean, yeah, he was Barty Crouch Jr., but that was for like 30 seconds and while the dude was creepy there was a layer of campy over the topness that is present in most fun fantasy franchises. I remember when he was cast as the purple man me and my parents were like. Yeah he’ll obviously crush the role because he’s talented but in the back of our minds we’ll probably still be thinking of like the doctor and I wonder if we can fully accept him playing the role. Yeah there was fucking NONE OF THAT. When he played Purple Man I never ONCE thought of his other roles and I didn’t even, like, think of David Tennant, ya know. I was just like oh shit this man is evil and terrifying and I want him dead! Please die!!! And yes, I know that that’s how acting works or whatever but also ACTING ya know!!! Of any of the roles on this list this one definitely made me be the most like SHE HAS THE RANGE because I really think it highlights how INCREDIBLY GOOD at his job he is!!! I have not ever rewatched Jessica Jones season 1 though because while it is honestly like a triumph of television it is also A Lot to deal with and I am very rarely in the kind of mindset where I’m able to watch it. But yeah. David Tennant knows what the fuck he’s doing and it is very good.

2. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING BABEY. Literally I knew nothing about the play or why I should care but the promo material was like. Catherine Tate and David Tennant are costars again and I was like OKAY SIGN ME THE FUCK UP HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH. For real I think on screen chemistry Catherine Tate and David Tennant are one of if not just straight up my favorite duo of all time. They are just so DELIGHTFUL and ENCHANTING and BEWITCHING and basically I want them to costar in everything ever. @azirafeathers was like “sherlock holmes adaptation where she’s sherlock and he’s watson” and I haven’t stopped thinking about that since!!! I would give my left thumb or at least like a solid $60 to see that. Like PLEASE it would be PERFECT. I LOVE THEM. And god this production of much ado is definitely like. “Here’s Benedick and Beatrice. They’re two chaotic dumbass bisexuals that are like fives on the kinsey scale and they fall in love much to their surprise” and it’s TERRIFIC. That’s exactly what I like to see. Like it’s set in the 80s and the set design? The visual gags? The costumes? The soundtrack? THE PHYSICAL COMEDY? It all SLAPS. David Tennant really balances “fun and funky slut” and “utterly PINING idiot” so fucking well. I have said it before and I will say it again David Tennant peaks when Catherine Tate is being mean to him. Also really iconic to give him the role that is like the only man in the play that is (after a bit) CHUGGING his respect women juice. I mean LOOK at this utter buffoon.

I’m in love. This play made me a proud morosexual. Plus it’s all FREE ON YOUTUBE THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE THREE HOURS AND WANT TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKIN TIME GO WATCH MUCH ADO!!

1. H A M L E T. So imagine that you’re 14 and it’s 3 am and you’re casually watching David Tennant’s hamlet on youtube or at least the parts they put up and you’re painting stars on your ceiling with glow in the dark paint and it makes you realize that you have an excess of black bile and a melancholic temperment and you’ll understand why, while this might not be my all time favorite david tennant role (though it definitely is high up on the list) , this is absolutely my number one David Tennant Related Breakdown. Hoo boy. This probably doesn’t come as a shock to literally anybody that knows me irl bc I Will Not shut up about Hamlet and it is this productions fault. Different people will respond differently too it, and I’m definitely 1000% biased because a: I love him and b: it was the first production I ever watched and it’s what got me On My Bullshit, but this production honestly makes me like. Get Hamlet. Or not get hamlet, personally, as a character, we’re never meant to fully understand him honestly, but it made me understand the ALLURE of the play. I watched it and I was like oh. Yeah. Okay. I can see why people have been obsessed with this for 400 years. I know why it’s considered one of the greatest roles and one of the greatest plays of all time. And I went absolutely feral for it. It solidified Horatio permanently as one of my all time favorite characters in anything ever. David Tennant has this tendency to put manic and desperate energy into the characters that he plays, and that of course works extremely well for hamlet. Plus, like, he plays characters that are drowning, that need the assistance and kindness of love to try and float, and even with that might not be able to keep their heads above water, and the characters that are opposite him are basically always wonderful. Because I am deeply deeply predictable, the core dynamic of Hamlet and Horatio’s relationship is probably like THE most appealing and interesting and important aspect of the play to me, and Peter de Jersey (who is absolutely INCREDIBLE in this production) and David Tennant pull it of breathtakingly beautifully. Every time I watch this I have to lie down for a while. Every time I THINK about this I have to lie down for awhile. So, yeah, number one David Tennant based breakdown is over his hamlet.

Honorable mentions

this gifset-I have not seen what this is actually from but it made me have a conniption. I’m in love with her. She’s my idealized self. I don’t know what to do with myself. I spent 5 hours looking at this now. What the fuck.

The Decoy Bride- I didn’t have a breakdown over it BUT it is a recommendation. Very silly rom com, very much a comfort movie like music and lyrics or singing in the rain for me. Great for sleep overs or rainy sunday afternoons.

Richard II- I haven’t seen it but based on one (1) clip and some stills I would be lost in the sauce for a week after a viewing.

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger- watch nativity 2 danger in the manger.

Fright Night- jesus fucking CHRIST mister tennant went full slut

Casanova- Mister Tennant Goes Full Slut part 2- has blue colored contacts and it’s weird

#anon #replies #sorry this took a hot minute but i wrote uhh #squints at the screen #1700 words on david tennant making me lose it jesus christ #Anonymous

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