#I want six thousand

[bigfatbreak]

here's the concept art for marinette's snake miraculous form! it was up on patreon last month, but I figured I'd post it for the update crowd too~

#my art #snake miraculous #marinette dupain cheng #ophidia #ophidia is the clade name for all modern day reptiles! #I originally wanted to give her like six braids with diamond tips at the end #so she would look like a medusa #but then i remembered. i have to draw this like ten thousand times oops

[brother-emperors]

 Then, on his arrival in Constantinople, after much counsel with himself, considering that he was already unequal to the amount of pressing business and believing that there was no room for delay, on the twenty-eighth of March he brought the aforesaid Valens into one of the suburbs​ and with the consent of all (for no one ventured to oppose) proclaimed him Augustus. Then he adorned him with the imperial insignia and put a diadem on his head, and brought him back in his own carriage, thus having indeed a lawful partner in his power, but, as the further course of our narrative will show, one who was as compliant as a subordinate. No sooner were these arrangements perfected without disturbance than both emperors were seized with violent and lingering fevers--

AM 26.4.3-4

this was one of those illustrations that was originally supposed to be a 5 page comic until I realized I don't know anything about later roman empire architecture or visuals or art or anything, so we'll revisit that later. maybe

for right now though, these two are fascinating. we have two brothers acting as one body, even becoming ill in tandem with each other, it's giving This Throne Is Cursed. like, the last time I read about emperors coming down with life threatening illnesses, it was Caligula, and that moment in his biography marked a very specific tone shift. I spent the rest of the (first) time reading about Valens and Valentinian waiting for something comparable to Caligula's reign to happen lmao (Dio 59. 8. 1-2)

and since Caligula was already on the mind, I started thinking about Tiberius: I think he would've loved these two since he had a whole thing about twin-ification and brothers and etc etc etc. ofc, Rome is both a Mouth and a Tomb, so it's going to go badly for someone/everyone eventually, but honestly I think that Valentinian and Valens were the best we could've hoped for. like it could've been so much worse

Tiberius and the Heavenly Twins, Edward Champlin

Failure of Empire: Valens and the Roman State in the Fourth Century A.D, Noel Lenski

⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!

⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#(drawing hearts around valens) hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii #roman empire tag #drawing tag #every day i think about valentinian bringing his brother into this and wondering how valens felt about it #especially since the over all arc is that he's constantly just trying to tread water managing everything from six different fronts #did you ever want things to go back to how they were!!!! did you dream of simpler times!!!!!! when it was just hard work and dirt #under your nails instead of the horrible scale of empire choking you out to the very end!!!!!!!!! did you hate your brother for it #im normal about valens. btw. (<<<said by a guy who made valens his icon on his main art blog) #anyway. (claps hands together) im going to go and write about bonifacio and mabini and lucan and crassus and the pharsalia #and mabini's writings on a failed revolution and bonifacio haunting the collective memory #i gotta condense it down to a thousand words. ideally. we are rambling around at around 2k and its unwieldy #valens #valentinian I #later Roman Empire tag

[electrozeistyking]

Did you see the merch leak!?!! J plush and a JCJenson pen

I FUCKING KNEW THAT PEN WOULD BE MERCH ONE DAY HGJFKDL

#Zeisty's Askbox #murder drones spoilers #just in case because of something #from here on out i want to know nothing of any leaks if they mayhaps contain spoilers. merch or otherwise tell me nothing #also do not call my attention to anything that isn’t what i’m focusing on in the post #i am. kind of upset someone called my attention to the glass painting in the replies #only because they called my attention to it being there. genuinely unhappy. i went in a thousand percent blind with the last six episodes #so don’t even tell me about that upcoming MD news if it contains anything beyond what we’ve seen in that beginning of the end teaser thing #i will close my askbox if anyone says anything to me about it and i will not open it until after both episodes come out i swear

[winepresswrath]

Cannot believe at this late stage of my life I'm becoming a Gabriel fucker. Local mean jock doesn't want to be evil now, he wants to be loved. I'm slightly annoyed they didn't make Beelzebub more unhinged because the "plot" should have been at least half about them fucking up shit on an absolute rampage trying to find Gabriel, a thing everyone assumes they are doing to fry him with hellfire so they can kick off the war in a way that's advantageous to hell, BUT ACTUALLY!!! true love.

#I do love evil love! #but more than that it's like... the terrible emptiness of heaven and hell? #absolutely no one has been having a good time! #they're just middle management admin suckers doing a soulless job no one else understands #they don't even care about earth! six thousand years of #mommy promised that if you all sit down and shut up we can have another war when the humans are dead #as a form of enrichment for their underlings #and they're just going along with it because that's the grind #incidentally I enjoyed how childish the angels were this season my pet theory is that they and the demons also have free will but no one #noticed so they've all just been making themselves miserable enforcing corporate culture and plotting each other's downfall because it #didn't occur to them to do anything else #gabriel and beelzebub realizing there's more to life and they can simply say fuck it and make something good between them #implies other angels and demons can do the same! as does Muriel obviously #like they are torturing each other. in much the same ways that humans are torturing each other #sad for Aziraphale and Crowley they care about earth & humans #which is a real problem they have that Gabzebub do not #and also that Crowley is in denial about how much he wants to be good and Aziraphale is in denial about just so many things and also #committed to being an ass about it. #these are problems that Gabriel and Beelzebub do NOT have because they are goal oriented and keep their eyes on the prize #good omens spoilers

[headfullof-ideas]

I made something

I hope someone else finds it as funny as I do

#he wants nothing to do with this responsibility #he spent half of this episode trying to pawn it off to Nereus #because he is a thirteen year old little boy #who had some very good points #‘youngest is not a LEGITIMATE. JOB QUALIFICATION!!’ #yes Ant. tell the old man the actual child shouldn’t be responsible for the lives of literally the entire planet #stick it to the idiots six thousand years ago who thought this was a genuinely good idea #one of my favorite things to write about is how much Ant absolutely doesn’t want to be the Chosen One #i think it is one of many untapped wells of angst that should be looked into more #ant nekton #antaeus nekton #the deep 2015

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Thanks for all the love on the episode one intro for my fan-written Six of Crows Spin Off script! I’ve decided to post each episode broken down into parts since they’re looking pretty long when they’re all strung together, so welcome to episode one part 2! If anyone hasn’t seen the intro yet and wants to then let me know and I can tag you, and I have been wondering whether I should make an AO3 account so I can put my fics up and it’s easier to find all the chapters so if anyone thinks that would be better then let me know (it wouldn’t stop me from putting them up here too) ❤️

Be warned I've taken a little artisitc licence (eg inserting a reference to my personal Anya headcanon in the previous part) but most of this is direct quotes/takes on direct quotes - and also I've never written a script before so my formatting is my own made up method I hope it makes sense. This section more than the previous is one where I’ve had to start making strides away from the book in order to match Show!canon but I’m trying to remain as true as possible. Hope you enjoy! ❤️

Episode One Part 2

[TITLE CARDS]

[Open on the Barrel. The camera moves into the city from the harbours, through shadows across the rooftops of East and West Stave. We are seeing the city through someone's eyes. We travel past several pleasure houses, but we do not see the Menagerie. West Stave is alive and kicking; the streets are overflowing with the colourful Komedie Brute costumes of pleasure seekers, girls in silks wave from high windows to prospective clients on the street below, acrobats hang from swings over the canal as people watch them whooping and cheering. As we leave West Stave behind and head south, we pass the Crow Club with heavy crowds outside it, and arrive on the rooftop of the Slat. The camera pans down to the street below, and the clacking of a cane is heard against the cobbles. The camera switches to street level to watch KAZ BREKKER enter the Slat, heads in the busy building quickly turning towards him. The room seems to come more alert as he walks through it.

A group of people - ROTTY, ANNIKA, PIM, and ROETTER - stand near the stairs talking. The room is still loud and they don't appear to have noticed KAZ]

ROTTY: I'm just sayin', Wraith's been scarce. Worth a mention, innit?

ROETTER: So he can set that shark's glare on me? Sign me up to the gallows first

ANNIKA: C'mon, he knows your gunning to be his new spider. Everyone knows. You actually mention it, maybe you'll get jobs comin' your way.

[Someone begins to reply but the conversation dies quickly and nervously as KAZ approaches. He clearly knows what they're talking about, but he does not acknowledge it.]

KAZ: Annika, fetch Jesper and Big Bolliger. I want them as my seconds tonight

ANNIKA: Big Bol? You sure you just want a bouncer tonight Kaz? Could be tr-

[KAZ glares at ANNIKA and she quiets, before turning to leave. The group disperses and Kaz marches up the stairs to the attic. Behind him, ROTTY can be heard expressing agreement on ROETER's point about the shark's glare. KAZ opens his window and wafts away a group of crows that have gathered there, then walks to the sink and removes his gloves. Behind him, the crows return to their perch. The camera focuses on KAZ's hands as he begins to wash them, until he straightens and sighs]

KAZ: You shouldn't feed crows

[Kaz turns and the camera follows his gaze. INEJ GHAFA sits on the window sill, reaching out to the birds]

INEJ: Why not?

[INEJ closes her eyes to feel the last of the evening sun on her cheeks. KAZ watches her intently, whatever he was going to say dying on his lips. His jaw ticks]

INEJ: Why not, Kaz?

[KAZ hesitates, breath catching]

KAZ: They have no manners

[INEJ laughs. The sun is soft and glowing on her face, her eyes are still closed. KAZ cannot stop watching her, and it terrifies him]

INEJ: Neither do you, Kaz. You didn't even say hello

KAZ: You didn't say goodbye

[There is a brief pause. INEJ looks at KAZ, then out the window]

INEJ, softly: I should have KAZ: Why are you here?

[INEJ looks out the window]

KAZ: You still hear things

INEJ: You can’t train a falcon and expect it not to hunt.

[She looks up at him]

INEJ: Heleen Van Houden.

[KAZ nods]

INEJ: Wandering into the Barrel like she wasn’t the victim in a murder investigation that nearly tore the city to shreds. And what? Having immediate claim to the house she left in the hands of Pekka Rollins?

KAZ: He’s out. When your supposed victim’s sticking her fingers back into the pocket of every magistrate in city, you find your murder charges dropping pretty quickly.

INEJ: So that’s that?

KAZ: That’s that. Everything we did, for nothing:

[INEJ runs her fingers across the scar from her Menagerie tattoo]

INEJ: For everything.

[For a moment, the silence is fraught. The pair cannot quite bring themselves to make eye contact. By the time KAZ speaks, it seems as though he is forcing himself to say it aloud]

KAZ: I have a job tonight

[INEJ looks up at KAZ, expectantly]

KAZ: We need you. I... I need you

[INEJ smiles as she climbs through the window and into the room]

INEJ: What are we doing?

KAZ: Parely, with the Black Tips. I'll need anything you can tell me on Geels' seconds - Oomen and []

[As KAZ speaks the scene dissolves into him, JESPER FAHEY, ANNIKA, PIM, ROTTY, BIG BOLLIGER, MUZZEN, and several other Dregs members standing outside the wall of the exchange later that night. KAZ's explanation of the plan continues on voiceover as we see the group arrive, talking to each other loudly]

KAZ: They've been eating away at my business on Fifth Harbour for weeks, and now they've intercepted a jurda shipment. Tonight, we discuss. And tonight, someone pays.

[INEJ stands on the roof of the exchange, looking down at the group below. As she slips down through the shadows, touching her hands to her knives and silently mouthing their names, she looks at the carvings in the stone arch entrance to the exchange: Industry, Integrity, Prosperity. She frowns. She slips to the ground a little farther down the street so she can approach the group at ground level, pausing for a moment to watch them from a darkened storefront. KAZ stands a little back from the others, leaning against his cane in the shadow of the arch. His eyes find Inej, then keep moving.]

JESPER: Three ships! The Shu sent them. Just sitting in the harbour - cannons out, red flags flying. And stuffed to the sails with gold.

BIG BOLLIGER: Would've liked to see that

JESPER: Would've like to steal that. Half the Merchant Council was down there flapping and squawking, trying to figure out what to do

BIG BOLLIGER: Don't they want the Shu paying their debts?

[KAZ steps forward into the slice of light where the others are standing, cane hitting the cobble stones loudly]

KAZ: Yes and no. It's always nice to have a country in debt to you. Makes for... friendlier negotiations

[KAZ looks specifically at BIG BOLLIGER as he speaks, wearing a crocodile's smile. JESPER shrugs]

JESPER: Maybe the Shu are done being friendly. They didn't have to send all that treasure at once. You reckon they stuck that trade ambassador?

[KAZ lifts his gaze again and this time his and INEJ's eyes meet directly. They are both thinking the same thing; brief flashback to KAZ's office. INEJ sits cross-legged on the window sill as KAZ paces slowly, and they list theories for each other about how the Trade Ambassador was murdered]

INEJ: We have to be missing something. Men don’t just walk into washrooms and find knives in their backs.

KAZ: Broad daylight, no windows, no vents. No-one in or out. Not even you could've squeezed through the plumbing

INEJ: So what? Ghosts?

[KAZ raises an eyebrow]

KAZ: Don't tell me you believe in ghosts now

INEJ: I believe in lots of things, Kaz. But perhaps wraiths aren't one of them

[The challenge is clear in her eyes and it makes KAZ uncomfortable. Return to the present]

KAZ: It won't matter what actually happened, just what everyone thinks did. The Zemeni blame the Kerch, the Kerch suspect the Shu, and no-one gets their satisfying answer before all the guns come out. It's nearly time

[KAZ gestures for JESPER and BIG BOLLIGER to remove their weapons. JESPER unslings his gun belt unhappily, and bestows a kiss on each revolver before handing them to ROTTY]

JESPER: Take good care of my babies. If I see a single scratch on them, I'll spell 'forgive me' across your chest in bullets

ROTTY: You wouldn't waste the ammo

BIG BOLLIGER: And he'd die before you finished 'forgive'

JESPER: It's about sending a message - what's the point of a dead guy with 'FORG' written on his chest?

KAZ: So, compromise. 'SORRY' does the trick - and uses fewer bullets.

[BIG BOLLIGER hands over all of his weapons, and KAZ hands over three knives]

JESPER, pointing to Kaz's cane: What about that?

KAZ: Who'd deny a poor cripple his cane?

JESPER: If it's you, any man with sense

KAZ: Then it's a good job we're meeting Geels tonight. Neutral territory, Jesper, give up the rifle

INEJ: This is a mistake

[INEJ is suddenly visible from the shadows. BIG BOLLIGER flinches away from her as the others all jump in surprise, except KAZ, and a whisper of 'the Wraith' goes through the crowd.]

INEJ: This doesn't feel neutral. Geels is up to something

KAZ: Of course he is.

INEJ: Then why come here tonight?

KAZ: Street law is street law, Inej. There's a way to do things

INEJ: You’re going to get us all killed

[JESPER smiles, stretching]

JESPER: Statistically, Inej, he's probably only going to get some of us killed

INEJ: It's not a joke

KAZ: He's not joking - he's playing the odds.

BIG BOLLIGER: Well I have a pint of lager waiting for me at the Couperron, so I can’t be the one to die tonight.

JESPER, grinning: Care to place a wager?

BIG BOLLIGER: I'm not going to bet on my own death

KAZ, running his fingers over the rim of his hat: Why not, Bolliger? We do it every day

[The church bell chimes for midnight]

KAZ: Remember: No matter what you hear, you don’t whether the fray without my say so. Stay sharp, and stay hidden

[There is a murmur of acknowledgment and agreement from the Dregs. INEJ turns towards the shadows and Kaz catches her arm to stop her. The camera focuses on her gloves and her sleeve]

KAZ: Keep an eye on the rooftop guards. Geels may have them in his pocket

[INEJ frowns but nods. She backs away slightly as Kaz releases her arm. There is tension in coming so close to touch and neither of them have missed it]

JESPER: No mourners

ALL: No funerals

[The trio enter the exchange. INEJ climbs the canal-facing wall]

INEJ, muttering to self: Street law. A relic. How would you fair if I obeyed street law, Kaz?

[She swings herself up capably and smiles]

INEJ, to self: How would you fair if I obeyed the law of gravity?

[As she climbs and the first look at the scene unfolds, KAZ and INEJ discuss the plan on voiceover; the conversation they had earlier this evening continued]

KAZ, voiceover: They’re sure precaution against you

[INEJ finds the drainpipe she reaches for slick with oil and a rim she runs her fingers over to test covered in ground glass. She smiles with grim pleasure at the knowledge she is expected]

INEJ, voiceover: They’re sure to try

[She picks the lock of a window and sneaks inside, crossing to a balcony to stand over the exchange. She watches KAZ, JESPER, and BIG BOLLIGER enter from the Eastern side of the exchange as the Black Tips - GEELS, OOMEN, and ELSINGER - enter from the Western. INEJ’s voiceover returns to tell KAZ the information she gathered about the Black Tips, and the camera focuses on each of them as she speaks]

INEJ, voiceover: Geels and Elsinger came up the ranks of the Black Tips together. There’s trust there, not exploitable. There’s little to say about Elsinger that you can’t tell by looking at him. He’s a bruiser, and he’s good at it

KAZ, voiceover: At least with Bolliger there one of us will be tall enough to look him in the eye

INEJ, voicover: If there’s any potential problem, it’s Oomen.

KAZ: Oomen, Really? He’s built like a scarecrow

INEJ: He might not look so much of a threat, but he makes me nervous. He’s violent, and he’s unafraid. They say he once crushed a man’s skull with his bare hands, wiped the blood off on his shirt, and went on drinking

[The opposing gang members pat each other down to check for weapons. JESPER finds a small knife on ELSINGER and tosses it to the corner of the Exchange]

JESPER: Naughty, naughty

[BIG BOLLIGER finishes patting down GEELS]

BIG BOLLIGER: He’s clean

[GEELS spreads his arms to indicate the start of the negotiations. He is noticeably older than KAZ and the others, but it doesn’t look like he’s weaker. He seems more confident, possibly even more commanding]

GEELS: Let’s be fair, eh? It’s not fair for you to cull every spend-happy tourist stepping off a boat in fifth harbour. We all got bills to pay

KAZ: Fifth harbour is ours. We get first crack at all the pigeons we want

GEELS: You’re young, lad, you’re fresh. Maybe you don’t know how these things work yet. Harbours belong to the city, we all have as much right to them as anyone else

KAZ: Not fifth. Maybe you don’t know how these things work, but I own majority shares in that harbour. It was all but useless to this city until I had it dredged, and built out the docks. Fifth harbour is mine.

[GEELS sniffs in disagreement, but has no counterargument]

KAZ: You’ve been interrupting our traffic, and you intercepted a jurda shipment that should have docked two nights ago

GEELS: I don’t know what you’re talking about

KAZ: I know it comes easy, Geels, but try not to play dumb with me

[GEELS steps forwards but KAZ stands his ground]

GEELS: Quit flexing, boy. We all know Per Haskell doesn’t have the stomach for a real brawl

[KAZ laughs roughly]

KAZ: But I’m the one at your table. Haskell’s out of the game - has been for a while now. Maybe you should start second guessing your sources of information

[GEELS shifts uncomfortably]

KAZ: The Dregs are my operation, and I’m not here for a taste. You want a war? I’ll make sure you eat your fill

GEELS: And if you vanish, Brekker? We all know you’re the spine of the operation - whether it’s Haskell behind the scenes or someone else. Snap it, and the Dregs collapse.

[JESPER laughs and incurs glares from everyone else]

JESPER: Stomach, spine. What’s next - spleen?

ELSINGER: Shut it

KAZ: Follow the damn rules, Jesper.

[JESPER mouths “sorry” and pantomimes locking his lips. KAZ rolls his eyes before turning back to his conversation]

KAZ: I’m fairly sure you’re threatening me, Geels. But I want to be certain before I decide what time do about it

GEELS: Then what if I told you there are two guards with city issue rifles pointed at you right now?

[INEJ tenses, eyes quickly searching the roof for the guards’ silhouettes. KAZ glances casually upwards]

KAZ: Hiring city guards to do your killing? I’d say that’s an expensive proposition for a gang like the Black Tips

[INEJ climbs up to the roof and hurries across it, ignoring the walkway that is clearly there to be used by the guards. She hides behind the gables to watch for the guards and listen to the conversation]

KAZ: I’m flattered you’d do so much just for me

GEELS: The Dregs won’t last a week without you

KAZ: I’d give them a month on sheer momentum

GEELS: Should we find out, you smug little slum rat?

KAZ: Do it

[INEJ cannot find the guards and she is panicking. KAZ is very calm]

GEELS: Should I have them shoot you in the good leg?

KAZ: Stop talking and do it. Shoot

Jesper: … Kaz?

KAZ: Go on

INEJ, to self: What game are you playing, Kaz?

GEELS: Fire!

[There’s a loud gunshot and a sudden flash. BIG BOLLIGER screams as he collapses to the floor of the exchange and JESPER runs towards him and applied pressure to the wound. KAZ raises an eyebrow]

JESPER: You worthless podge, Geels! You’ve violated neutral territory

GEELS, hiding the panic in his voice: Nothing to say you didn’t shoot first. And anyway, who’s going to know? None of you are walking out of here

KAZ: You don’t look well, Geels. Things aren’t going quite to plan, are they?

JESPER: Kaz, Bolliger’s bleeding bad

KAZ: Good.

JESPER: He needs a Medik

KAZ: He needs to stop his bellyaching and be glad I didn’t have Holst take him down with a headshot.

[GEELS flinches]

KAZ: That’s the guard’s name, right? Willem Holst and Bert Van Daal. The guards you emptied the Black Tips’ coffers to bribe. Holst likes to gamble almost as much as Jesper does, so your money held a lot of appeal. But he has bigger problems. Let’s call them… urges. I won’t go into detail - secrets aren’t like coin. They don’t keep their value in the spending. You’ll just have to take my word for it when I say that this one would turn even your rotten stomach.

[Another shot is fired, springing against the cobbles near GEELS’ feet. He jumps back in panic. INEJ tracks the source of the shot with her eyes, and heads in the opposite direction to find the other guard - VAN DAAL.]

GEELS: Just shoot him, Holst! Your secret dies with him

KAZ, snorting: You think I’m that foolish? Go on Holst, put a bullet in my skull! My messengers will reach your wife and your watch captain before I hit the ground. Are you worrying about the other guard, Geels? Maybe I got to him too. Maybe he’s getting ready to blow a hole in your chest.

[INEJ is hurrying across the rooftops towards VAN DAAL at top speed. It’s unclear if she’s going to make it in time]

KAZ: Why not give Van Daal the order and find out?

[GEELS hesitates for a moment]

GEELS: Van Daal?

[VAN DAAL opens his mouth but before he can reply a blade appears at his throat and he is forced backwards. INEJ stands behind him.]

INEJ: Hush, now

[She jabs him gently in the side; he knows there is another knife at his kidney.]

VAN DAAL: Please

INEJ: I like it when men beg. But this isn’t the time for it

#there is a reason I could never actually adapt a book j loved as a script #and it’s that it would be a thousand hours long #I felt so ruthless with this cutting stuff out that I wish I could’ve included #and we’ve still not even finished chapter 2 #I wanted to end episode one around chapter 7 or 8 but now I’m really not sure #just embracing it i guess #grishaverse #six of crows #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #kanej #Wesper #helnik #save six of crows #save shadow and bone #soc spinoff #six of crows spinoff #soc fic

[annabolinas]

Anne of the Thousand Days Review: Part 2

Alright, here's part 2! Spoiler alert but this movie has some shockingly regressive views about women... no, not just by the male characters in it.

Absurdities only mount as Henry visits Anne in person in her Tower cell and offers to let her live and have custody of Elizabeth if she agrees to an annulment. Anne utterly refuses; while this is completely the opposite of what the real Anne did, this is an understandable deviation, as it is more straightforwardly heroic. Anne lying that she committed adultery with “half your court”, though, is not only baffling, but an insult to the real Anne’s memory. I know that sounds harsh, but bear with me. In the movie, Anne seems to fling this lie at Henry to wound his fragile masculinity, as seen in her remark that he should “look, for the rest of your life, at every man that ever knew me and wonder if I didn’t find them a better man than you!” But Anne shifts far too rapidly from crying out at her trial, “They were innocent as I am innocent! Any man, no matter who he is, who says the contrary, is a liar!”, to freely lying and stating that she’s an adulteress. There’s no buildup, no rhyme or reason that the audience can see as to why she would do such a thing. Moreover, the real Anne never confessed to adultery, twice swearing on the Eucharist that she was innocent of all charges. Anne of the Thousand Days’ portrayal of its Anne as flippantly and falsely confessing to adultery and incest undermines her real-life courage and bravery in maintaining the truth until the end, even on peril of her soul’s damnation. It’s incredibly disrespectful, to say the least.

Above all, the movie fails on an emotional level. Not only does it sag in the middle with its pacing and excitement, but it fails to create a compelling or believable relationship between Anne and Henry, the movie’s two leads. The marketing for this movie played up its romantic aspects, even if it is really more reminiscent of a boss sexually harassing young female interns; its poster reads, ‘He was King. She was barely 18. And in their thousand days they played out the most passionate and shocking love story in history!” However, the movie fails to convince audiences of a core part of its story - the romance, let alone the believability of Henry and Anne’s relationship. There are usually two ways adaptations go with Henry and Anne’s relationship. They either have Henry and Anne, after some point, have a genuinely loving relationship until it goes horribly wrong (e.g.  The Tudors, Blood, Sex, & Royalty) or portray Anne as stringing Henry along to win a crown (e.g. Henry VIII and His Six Wives (1972), The Other Boleyn Girl, Wolf Hall to an extent). Anne of the Thousand Days takes a third choice and goes the route of portraying Henry as sexually harassing an initially quite unwilling Anne. Henry’s attraction to Anne is never explained, as in the first scene (chronologically), he’s drawn to her before she says a word, even ordering Wolsey to break her romance with Percy. Why? Is it just because he wants her in his bed? After all, Henry declares at one point that he’s never been refused by a woman; maybe he finds the challenge exhilarating. But if so, why does he remain fixated with her after she insults his words and poetry, even though he says there’s no better way to end his interest than by doing that? Indeed, Anne later says that Henry wants to know whether she’s guilty because “that would touch your manhood and your pride”, indicating that he is touchy about such subjects. Apparently, though, he’s not sensitive enough to abandon Anne after she blasts every part of his personality at the start of their courtship. Why does he still try to woo her for six years, throughout which Henry admits that “Not once have you said, ‘I love you’”? To be clear, it’s not an impossible scenario, but it is perhaps the farthest thing from romance imaginable.

In other words, what are we supposed to think of Henry and Anne’s relationship? Far from being a passionate romance turned toxic, Anne of the Thousand Days portrays a toxic relationship driven by lust on Henry’s part and ambition on Anne’s part, a relationship where supposedly, they only love each other for one day. Such a characterization of any relationship, let alone the fascinating and complex one of the real Henry and Anne, would be too reductive. Henry starting to hate Anne immediately after she falls for him not only is too simplistic for viewers, but not even supported by the movie. Henry continues to love Anne and behave affectionately towards her after they sleep together until she gives birth to Elizabeth, meaning there are at least nine months of mutual love between them in the movie’s timeline! 

Even the ending of Anne of the Thousand Days, despite its seemingly-empowering voiceover of Anne narrating how Elizabeth will be a great queen, is hampered by an unwillingness to face the full tragedy of her death. In real life, Anne was at most 35 when she was beheaded on false charges, and in the timeline of the movie, she’s around 29, following the 1507 birth date. Anne’s death is presented as poignant, as she remarks on the May flowers growing just as she did on her coronation day. But the absence of her execution speech, in what I can only assume is an attempt to highlight its somber brutality, is in fact borderline disrespectful to the real woman. While unlike Anne Boleyn (2021), this film does not purport to present Anne’s side of the story through a feminist lens, it is still galling that in place of the real Anne’s words, the writers inserted a fictitious monologue about Elizabeth’s greatness, which the real Anne could never have known! The real Anne Boleyn was a highly intelligent, ambitious, and reform-minded queen executed by her husband on false charges. Not only was her death, along with the deaths of the five men accused with her (never mentioned in the film!) a grave miscarriage of justice, but it was a tragedy. Much of its tragic nature derives from the fact that Anne left her toddler daughter, as far as she knew, dependent on the whims of her father and a bastard. There is no way she could have known, that anyone could have known, that Elizabeth would become queen. Anne of the Thousand Days giving Anne this knowledge makes sense out of a senseless, brutal demise, almost implying that there was a silver lining to Anne’s death because her daughter became queen.

It once again defines a woman by her reproductive history, and the film follows in a long tradition of claiming Anne’s real worth lay in her womb and the great queen it produced, her tragic downfall notwithstanding. Despite its ostensible focus on Anne Boleyn, the movie, like so many films then before and since, fails to understand - arguably, does not try to understand - historical women like Anne on their own terms. Women, in this mindset, must always be defined by their relation to a man or an exceptional woman. It’s not enough that Anne was an exceptional woman in her own right, that women are inherently important on their own, not by virtue of their family. Anne of the Thousand Days, at a time when cinema was pioneering in so many ways, is rigidly traditional in its views of women. Dramatic license with history needs to both fulfill a satisfying dramatic aim and at least be in contact with the facts; Anne of the Thousand Days’ portrayal of its titular queen’s death fails on both counts.

Needless to say, I didn’t like this movie. Its costumes, sumptuous pageantry, and strong performances from Genevieve Bujold as Anne, Anthony Quayle as Wolsey, and John Colicos as Cromwell, cannot make up for the fact that the rest of the film’s parts are either mediocre or simply bad. Why then do so many people think fondly not just of Genevieve Bujold’s Anne, but also this movie? Part of it must be nostalgia - it would have gained a special place in the hearts of Tudor fans who grew up in 1969 and the following decade. Its accessibility for purchase on platforms like Amazon Prime, Apple TV, and Youtube, also meant it gained more popularity than the far superior 1970 BBC miniseries The Six Wives of Henry VIII, which is only available on DVD and the platform Britbox. But I’ve argued in this review that Anne of the Thousand Days is just as inaccurate as more scorned depictions like The Tudors; in fact, I firmly believe that on the whole, Anne of the Thousand Days has more inaccuracies in its plot and characterization than The Tudors! Why, then, in spite of its major inaccuracies, does Anne of the Thousand Days retain a reputation for authenticity? 

The fact Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks nothing like Henry VIII in The Tudors and has little of the real king’s imposing majesty is surely part of it. More to the point, though, The Tudors’ propensity towards sex and nudity in its first two seasons meant it seemed louche and vulgar compared to the sober and slow-paced Anne of the Thousand Days. If Natalie Dormer’s Anne was criminally overlooked by critics because of her show’s disreputable appearance, then the opposite has occurred with this movie. Genevieve Bujold’s great performance has managed to elevate a quite mediocre and often horribly reductive movie into the hallowed halls of the Period Drama Pantheon. It’s time for a broader reappraisal of this movie: one which dethrones it for good.

#tudor era #the tudors #anne of the thousand days #anne boleyn #genevieve bujold #richard burton #henry viii #thomas cromwell #thomas wolsey #catherine of aragon #katherine of aragon #jane seymour #elizabeth i #tudorerasource #ya so... hot takes #if anyone wants to watch a really good but underrated Anne #might I suggest #Dorothy Tutin in The Six Wives of Henry VIII (1970) #available on DVD #Britbox #pirating sites #and OK dot ru #literally such a good performance she needs more love

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Soooo i’ve been wondering abt this for the longest time since i read I Give Up😅but only now i want to ask the question. I hope u dont get offended or angry or anything because i genuinely felt curious. Why the story has sooo many rated chapters?😂 like why they had so much sex? God i feel like u are gonna get angry at me. Is it bcuz baek is an idol so he dont get laid so often..? Is that it?

LOLOL it’s been 6-7 years dood!

Anyway it was because back then this was a smut blog and I didn’t know what else to write😂😂😂 I didn’t know what people wanted to even read. that story was at the beginning of the blog but it was also like one of the first things I’d written, I genuinely thought that’s what the readers were coming for. It wasn’t until I started making them cry that I realized they liked feeling all of the emotions not just the spicy ones.

Also it was a new relationship. Y’all ever been in a brand new relationship? It’s nonstop sex like absolutely nonstop it’s wild. I HAVE honestly considered going in and removing some of the early chapters but 1. I am very lazy with these things and 2. It’s a brand new relationship with two people who are very into each other and very sexually compatible, so it REALLY, really is like this.

So in the end I just couldn’t be bothered to change anything. I recommend reading from chapter 11 and on🤌 that’s when I found myself more as a writer.

#jeez this ask almost made me delete the fever smut for part 6 of Can I Stay that I wrote #like #no maybe they don’t need to have sex #maybe they just sleep #maybe it’s too much #stuff like this doenst make me get mad but more like remember that embarrassing thing you did six years ago???? why did you do that? #so like #sorry??? #I was just starting #I didn’t know what people wanted from me #and this was before I had ten thousand amazing readers #this was like #sixty people and some of them were assholes #I’ve blocked and I’ve changed and I’ve learned and I’ve deleted ENTIRE fics before #IGU is a remnant #you can see it’s rings if you cut it open #and I could dig out the center if it with a hammer and chisel #but then it would be different #IGU was all of us growing together #I’m going it stop before I delete things #I’ll #leave and go shower maybe cry #idk #feels bad #I’ve learned a lot of lessons #none easy #and I promise you I haven’t learned all of the lessons

[purble-gaymer]

mmm just wanted to say that i really love your writing and i'm really excited to see what you make in the future! your gsa stuff is so pleasant and angsty and i've really been enjoying wwtmk <3 that's not even getting into how much i liked the cannibalism fic.... now you'll be a part of me forever !! i'm such a sucker for that kind of thing.

actually, i was kind of wondering what you were plotting for the future so i could look forward to it! i've loved following your work so farrrr

waa hello thank you!! yknow i don't hear much about the beast in the walls but i really love that one so good to know! i can share some of my prospective calendar (though everything i say is subject to change)

once wwtmk is done, i probably won't be posting much for a bit. i might do something sword/blade/mk related for valentine's day if i can think of an idea before then. after that though, i have another little project focused on the knights at the time they first met. it's a continuation of a fateful encounter. at the moment it's sitting at about 23k, and i think i'm a little past halfway through it. ideally i'll start publishing it sometime in late february or march, but winter is usually the busiest and most stressful term so it'll be later rather than sooner. plus i'd like to have a majority of it written out first. i don't exactly have a surplus of time or energy this time of year so it'll be a while still.

most ship content will probably end up on my other pseud for the foreseeable future (excluding the potential valentine's thing) to avoid like...cluttering things, i guess? so for that there's always more knights, maybe metamorpho in a normal context, maybe arthur/nonsurat for the two people who care because i love them a lot. oh and also falspar and dragato doing whatever the hell they're doing because i would die for them.

absolutely there will be more gsa one-shots. i've had some ideas floating around but no energy to really get into them. plus my usual strategy for the gsa is to sit down and write for three straight hours because they sort of automatically put me in a flow state, and i can't do that at school cause i have other things to do. there might be some stuff about their history. i don't really know where to begin with all that, plus there's ocs i'd have to deal with, so we'll see. galacta knight related stuff is also a possibility, especially more about him and mk when they were working for nme. check out how much galactadad angst i can make

overall this year i wanna write more out of my comfort zone honestly. writing things like the beast in the walls or know your place was weird but it was also really really fun. so if i ever jump on any out-there ideas, i might actually do something with them. OH THIS INCLUDES AN ARTHUR AND MK BEING FAMILY THING I'VE BEEN SITTING ON. i completely forgot about that. i should polish it up and publish it for my birthday because it is so self-indulgent and silly. so that is now happening next week. metamorphosed one-shot is also happening later this week (tomorrow or thursday) because i'm normal about that au.

so that's a lot, and most of it is very up in the air because i'm always doing things...but you can 100% expect more knights content in the near future. wwtmk is like standing on the edge of a canyon peeking into my kirby interpretations. i have to write or i will explode

#asks #excluded any of my 'not scrapped but not exactly on the chopping block' fics as to not get anyone's hopes up #i really really want to do an adventure from the meta-knights pov fic but every time i pick up my draft again i drop it for like six months #amazing mirror animeverse has been effectively abandoned. not sure i ever talked about that one #i confess. it's because i wanted mirror s/b/mk :pensive: #but yeah i can't keep myself away from gsa family fics. arthur and mk's relationship is everything to me #i have a thing about mk first meeting the gsa but i don't know if i want it to be a one-shot or a multi-chapter thing #sitting on a couple thousand words about it #it might just get posted as a one-shot at this point cause i want to share it but i don't really want to write more of it #or maybe as two chapters. because arthur dad moments are crucial #OKAY THAT'S ALL I'LL STOP FOR NOW!!! THANK YOU

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

bitching about the living situation below, please continue your scroll if you wish to dodge mood poisoning yourself

okay, housing market, i need you to get your shit together STAT, because i'm tired of coming home from a shitty work day only to suffer radiation mood poisoning because SOMEone has decided that EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT and i'm a horrible selfish person who takes advantage of my mom, and he proceeds to be silently but palpably pissed off at me for the ENTIRE duration of dinner, like i'm not already tense as hell from 8.5 hours of capitalism while his retired ass did whatever the fuck he wanted to all day

#text #personal #whine whine whine #like i ALREADY HAD A DEEPLY FUCKING AWFUL DAY you do NOT have to make it WORSE #you FUCKING HYPOCRITE #dont you DARE tell me i take advantage of my mother when thats all youve been doing your ENTIRE FUCKING MARRIAGE!!! #at least i do things for her!! and thank her!! #and ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH SHE DOES!!!! #he ALSO gave me shit about not wanting to part with 1/5 of my mozzarella sticks that i SPECIFICALLY ORDERED FOR MYSELF #come fucking ON #THATS THE HILL YOU WANNA DIE ON??? #write me a gotdamn letter i have been waiting FOURTEEN FUCKING MONTHS FOR YOUR RESPONSE #gosh i fucking hate it here lmao #id be fine if it were just me and mom. but. it is Not. #and so i need the housing market to get its FUCKING shit together #(the deeply fucking awful day was battling with a SIX FUCKING THOUSAND PAGE WORD DOCUMENT. to FORMAT IT. it was BEYOND asinine and stupid) #(im so tense)

[victoriawaterfield]

tumblr i think it is getting bad again

#annie.txt #wow i sure wish i had friends 2 talk 2 about this uhm unfortunately #they all hate me & want me 2 die six thousand deaths #at least i think they do

[bitchthefuck1]

Nikolai: Brekker likes to pretend he hates me, but deep down I know we're friends 😌

Kaz:

#i know i made this meme way back in the day with Haskell but that account is gone so you all have to listen to me make the same jokes again #this reaction image is just kaz in 90% of all situations #i know yall want kanej and zoyalai to be friends but I'm telling you they're not and it makes the story a thousand times better #kaz brekker #nikolai lantsov #six of crows #soc #king of scars #kos #image description in alt

[beastblade69]

I wanted to check out another lone ranger comic which is about tonto, but Ion have any motivation. thinking about rewatching one flew movie, but I'm afraid that if I rewatch it for too many times it'll become average to me. I'd fucking love to reread the book because it once made me feel so alive and feeling like I'm alive is a vital need for me. but I have too many projects to do and I'd rather spend my free time watching a movie because it's really hard for me to concentrate on books

#I'm so fucking tired #need to erase my memory to reread one flew once again to feel it like I felt for the first time #the fucking all time problem is that I cannot find new hyperfixations #they are so rare to have for me #I could have thousands of average interests but they don't feel the same as the hyperfixation #THE FUCKING FEELING I GET WHEN I'M FIXATED. ME AND MY HYPERFIXATION BECOME ONE WE CANNOT PART #fucking want it back #I love sarah kane and lone ranger but these ain't fixations unfortunately #I get up at six and start my search for you. if I've dreamt a message of a station or a pub or a street I go there. And I wait for you. #me trying to find a new fixation #quoting 4.48 psychosis is my fave activity to do 4 life

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

i was looking at a list of state parks bc im considering a New Year’s resolution of visiting N number or within M miles of my house and ran across “the only public aerial tramway in Texas”??? you can hike up past two guardhouses built by National Electric bc the they were scared of employee sabotage during a strike in the 30s and then after that you can VIEW A NUCLEAR BOMBER CRASH??? if this were a fallout location i would say this is a little on the nose

#yeehawing; gunshots #i cannot drag my frail body up a mountain that ends at like six thousand feet my heart will Hate that #but god do i want to #i must remind myself that i fucking hate hiking and so do my knees and the last time i hiked i was in agony for a week

[martyrbat]

just fully got done with jury duty ^_^

#it was only a two day trial which is nice but. god i may have gotten a little heated lol #im a very anxious person in general and dont talk much but I argued for 30 minutes straight with some other juror about it #and then i bumped up the money everyone else was discussing to give #because fuck the capitalism system that is US healthcare. #so who wants to hear how i got the family a settlement of six hundred and seventy five thousand dollars from a hospital #ransom note

[todayisafridaynight]

streaming comic-makin sessions would be a nightmare cause i know damn well id just be digitally pacing between twitter and youtube before actually doin shit. it'd be like trying to host a writing stream where everyone would look at a blank canvas for half an hour as i try to figure out what the fuck im gonna do

#snap chats #having a whole ass crisis ignore me #this is one of the rare times where drafting a comic is taking longer than five minutes uh oh #i have one more commission to do this week but i wanted to finish the outline to a comic i wanna do #but the problem is i wanted to try writing it as a full fic first just to see if i could get myself familiar with the vibe i wanted #and now aint NOTHIN gettin done cause yk my comics are At Max six pages long with me #but this one should only really max be one or two but when i put shit into fic form i feel like i gotta make that shit longer ????? #like bro you coulda wrapped this up a thousand words ago bro we JUST needed an outline we dont need all this extra shit #like Welcome Back To The Demo We All Know i hate having the conundrum of not knowing if i wanna make an idea a fic or art.. horrendous #so now im stuck in that very familiar rut where its like. Thing I Want to Do vs Thing I Have To Do vs Other Thing I Want To Do #cause alternatively i could just go straight into making a rough draft of the comic cause In My Mind's Eye i think i have what i want #but yk. wanted to try 'scripting' for once in six months and now look where we are.. #in any case im just gonna go make a rough sketch of that commission i guess and see how i feel when i come back #i especially want to finish that commission cause i do want to try streaming again this weekend so. #best to have that out of the way so i dont worry #ok im gonna stop procrastinating now bye