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libraryofloveletters · 7 months

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chapter two: disaster and despair

Chalres Leclerc x Fem!Reader + Carlos Sainz Jr x Fem!Reader

Warnings: carlos isn't fucking around, charles is soooo oblivious, flirting, sexual tension, rupert and lorenzo are a bit sus of carlos's actions, monaco was good to charles for once, alcohol and the consumption of, clubbing, insta is for fuckboys and cheaters apparently, lying, cheating on established relationship, allusions to smut and a bit of rivalry from carlos's end.

Word Count: 3.4k

Author's Note: in honour of Carlos's win today, have the 2nd chapter :) this one's juicy, it's a bit fast paced I won't lie but I hope y'all like it :))

Call My Name Masterlist

---

Monaco; glamour and extravaganza are the first words in your mind.

To most people, Monaco was just a luxurious place to visit and to F1 fans, it's another track on the calendar but to Charles, it was home.

A proud Monegasque; born and raised.

When he asked you to join him for the race that weekend, you booked the next available flight out. Unfortunately for you, you weren't a native to Monaco like your darling lover, but now that you two were a couple, you found yourself there a lot more and you've grown to love the place.

It was race day, Charles's fingers interlocked with yours as you two headed into the paddock, the flashing cameras in your face, fans shouting for your boyfriend. You smiled, taking in all the craziness as Charles walked you into the direction of the Ferrari hospitality building.

You had barely stepped into the building when someone called out, "good morning love birds." Carlos smiles at the two of you, pulling Charles into a half hug when he grabs his hand.

Charles pulls away from his friend, giggling as he does most times; seems that Carlos has that effect on everyone, not just you.

Speaking of Carlos; his hand rests on your hip, smiling at you as he leans in to hug you. His large hand slides from your hip to your back, touching just where the cut out was in the back of your dress - something you're certain wasn't a mistake on his part.

"You look beautiful," he whispers to you before kissing your cheek quickly.

Charles thinks nothing of it, smiling at you two before his hand replaces Carlos'. "Ready ?" He asks you, and Carlos. The three of you head towards the garage for the boys to do their morning check.

You had wandered off while they were busy. Seeing that it's his home race, his mother and his brothers were there. You had joined them above the Ferrari garage for a bit, you finally got to chat with Pascale since you arrived in Monaco a few days ago. Charles had been on the go since you arrived, him being the star driver of the weekend - a little term you came up with for home race drivers. He dragged you along with him, not allowing you a moment of rest since.

Charles was starting P4 this weekend, a good position to be. Everyone knows that where you place in qualifying determines your whole race here; there are very few chances to overtake in Monaco, the track was too narrow and the corners were quick and tight.

You were certain you'd be on edge the entire time he was out there, you were every time but today, the pressure was unbearable.

Not only was this his home race but he was in a position to win or at least get onto the podium.

He'd do anything to get up on that podium - especially this weekend.

About an hour to lights out, Charles comes looking for you guys to let you know that he'll be getting ready for his race if you want to head down.

His mother says the garage makes her head spin, so she'll stay upstairs and you offer to keep her company, but she tells you to go ahead and join the boys.

Charles has just returned to the garage when you make it downstairs, he and his brothers were taking a picture together as the mechanics and engineers did their final checks. Lorenzo was the brother closest to where you stood, with Charles in the middle and Arthur to the other side.

"Come here," Lorenzo waves you over and you shake your head.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You're not," he says, leaning over to grab your arm. He pulls you to his side, his arm over your shoulder when your boyfriend looks over at you and smiles. "You're a part of the family, y/n."

Joris smiles, telling the four of you to get a little closer and he takes a picture.

Lorenzo and Arthur step out of the frame, letting Charles pull you into his side. Your arms wrapped around your boyfriend when you lean into his side. Charles drops his head, his cheek pressed to the top of your head and the two of you smile at the camera.

You lean up, your hand pressed to his cheek when you kiss him. "Good luck," you whispered to him and he smiled, his hand giving your wrist a squeeze.

"Thank you, amour."

"Be safe, okay?"

"Always," he nods, giving you another quick kiss before you let him go, watching as he finds Andrea to get ready for his race.

You reach for your phone but you realize you've left it upstairs with Pascale. Charles was busy with his race prep so you figured you can sneak away and get back before he leaves the garage.

You had barely made it down the hallway, about to turn the corner when someone grabs your arm. You look over your shoulder to find Carlos.

"Hi," you smiled, "everything okay?"

He nods, "I saw you and Charles over there," he nudges your shoulder, your cheeks red. "It was nothing, just a kiss." You brush him off, your arm pulled from his grasp.

"Well, if it's nothing, do I get one as well?"

"Get... what?"

Carlos's eyes meet yours, there's something wicked written across his face and you can't quite place his intentions as of yet. The next words out his mouth do it for him; "a kiss."

"What-" you pause, jaw hanging open slightly as you stare at your boyfriend's teammate. "No," you shook your head, "not like that at least." You chuckled, trying to brush him off.

He was one thing, if not insistent. "Then how?" He raises a brow, waiting for you to answer him.

You take a moment to gather your thoughts. You have three options; one, walk away and pretend like this never happened. Two, tell Charles that Carlos asked you for a kiss or three, kiss him.

You lean into the man, your hand wrapped around his bicep when you press a kiss to his cheek. Your red lipgloss leaves behind a sticky kiss shaped mark on his tanned skin.

"Good luck," you say to him, taking a step back before walking off.

The man smiles, watching as you disappear around the corner before returning to the garage. "Where'd you go?" was the first thing Rupert asked when he saw him appear again.

His friend holds his chin, turning him towards the light. "Is that lipgloss?" Rupert asks another question and Carlos swats the man's hand away.

"Stop being nosey."

Monaco was good to your boyfriend, he managed to move up one place on the grid and finish in P3 - it's not a win but it's a podium at home and he was over the moon about that.

Someone turns their camera to catch the sight of you and the Leclerc brothers on the pit fence, screaming and cheering for Charles as he crosses the finish line. All of you go running, waiting to see him when he gets out of the car.

Charles, as expected, comes running as soon as he jumps out, jumping into the sea of red, a million arms wrapped around their driver. He makes his way through the crowd, hugging his brothers before he finally makes it to you.

He wraps his arms around you and you smile, your hand holding his helmet before pressing a kiss to the side of it. "I'm so proud of you!" You tell him, his visor open so you can see the crinkles by his eyes, the man grinning before giving you another squeeze and letting go.

The podium was Lewis in P1, Max in P2 and Charles in P3. It was a good day to be the top three teams.

Your boyfriend's teammate, on the other hand, didn't have such a good race. On lap 31, they decided to call him into the pits at the last moment, he tried to get into the pit lane and Lando was coming in at the same time. Unfortunately, the two of them attempted to get into the pit lane at the same time and they had a collision. Both drivers were okay but it wasn't a shocker that at least one Ferrari had a DNF this weekend.

They were still Ferrari after all.

You can't possibly lie and say you didn't feel bad for Carlos, because you did, but Charles on podium at home outshines whatever Carlos was feeling at the moment, and whatever you were feeling towards him.

Despite his DNF, Carlos did come down and join the team as they watched the podium celebrations. You were towards the front with Lorenzo and Arthur as well as a few of Charles's mechanics. Charles had a big smile on his face as he looked towards the sea of red, towards his team, his family and his girlfriend.

You were pushed up against the barricade so you take a step back and you glance over your shoulder to make sure you weren't stepping on anyone, but you find that Carlos was standing behind you; of course he was.

As much as Charles might've been oblivious to the fact, you weren't.

Carlos was making sure his presence was known, that you knew he was right there.

You smile at him, turning your attention back to the podium as they hand out the trophies. Carlos' hand rests on your hip when he steps a bit closer, you're sure it was just for a moment to steady himself with all the pushing but then it stays there; firm and warm and large.

He squeezes your hip and you slowly take a step away from him; not because you didn't like the feeling because.. god, you knew you did but simply because you knew this was wrong.

A shoulder brushes against yours; Lorenzo looks to his left and sees the look on your face.

"Are you okay?" He asks, shifting to give you some more space.

You nod, "fine." You smiled, looking up at the podium, taking a photo of your boyfriend.

Lorenzo glances behind you to find his brother's teammate there. Carlos smiles at him, nodding towards the older Leclerc. Lorenzo mirrors the action. Carlos's hand had already slipped from your hip, right before Lorenzo turned back to see him there.

All of you are focused on the podium, the drivers covering each other in champagne and Charles turns towards the crowd, spraying the gold coloured liquid towards the sea of people.

---

The club was packed; as it always was in Monaco but especially on a race weekend.

Your boyfriend had his arm over your shoulder, the two of your swaying side to side as he shouted something to his brother in French.

Andrea, Arthur, Lorenzo, Joris and a few other friends of Charles had joined him in celebrating his podium finish.

Charles had also invited Carlos to join you guys at the club but he politely declined, saying that he was tired and that he hopes that you all have fun anyways. Your boyfriend nodded along with what his teammate said, on a high already and he made him promise to join him next time. Carlos assures him that he will, sending him on his way.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you tell Charles and he nods. "Be careful!" He shouts, letting you go as he dances his way over to his little brother.

You shake your head, smiling as you head towards the bathroom. You make a quick check of your hair and your makeup; it was boiling in there, people packed together and you felt as if you were melting.

The phone buzzes in your pocket as you make your way towards the bar. You ordered a drink, reaching for your phone to check what it was. There's a message from Instagram.

carlossainz55: How’s the club?

You replied to him, it was innocent enough.

youruser: Good! Wish you were here, you’d be having fun with us!

carlossainz55: I wish you were here too.

You paused when you reread the message a few times.

youruser: What do you mean?

You typed out quickly, waiting for his answer. It came just as quickly.

carlossainz55: I see the way you look at me, y/n. I know you see how I look at you as well. You’re a smart girl.

youruser: I am.

It takes Carlos a few minutes to reply, you had washed down his previous comments with a shot of tequila.

carlossainz55: Hotel De Paris. Room 321

youruser: What am I supposed to do with this?

carlossainz55: Whatever you want.

Leaning against the counter, it takes you a few moments to gather your thoughts. Someone calls for you, "miss?" The voice comes from behind you, the bartender has picked up your empty shot glass. "Anything else?"

"One more please," you smiled at him.

"Name? For the tab?"

"Leclerc," you smiled once more. The bartender fills another glass, the clear liquid spills over the brim of the small glass when he sets it down.

You pick it up, downing the shot. The tequila burns on the way down, Carlos's message replaying in your head over and over again. You find yourself walking in the direction of your boyfriend, hugging him from behind.

Charles turns, "you okay?" He asked, grinning at you. You nod, smiling at him. It was just after 3:30 in the morning and you were exhausted. Between race day and the partying, you were ready to head home.

"I think I'm gonna head back to yours," you tell him and he nods, "do you want me to come with you?"

"No no," you smiled, a hand on his chest when you kissed him. "You stay and have fun, I'll see you when you get home."

"Text me when you get home, then." He smiles, kissing you once again before you head down, walking out of the club.

You hail a cab, getting into the back and the man asks; "where to?"

It was quiet, the man glanced back to make sure you haven't fallen asleep back there. "Miss," he calls yet again, "where to ?"

If you were a good girlfriend, you would have given him Charles's address but you were young and foolish, you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself if you don't explore whatever this thing with Carlos could be.

Even if it's simply just a hello.

"Hotel De Paris, please." You tell him, picking at your nail polish when he drives off.

It's quiet, the man doesn't speak nor do you, simply thanking you when you pay him, tipping him a little extra as you were fighting with your own moral compass.

It's now 4am, the man at the front desk smiles at you as you pass by. You return the smile, stepping into the elevator. Charles would still be at the club for at least another 2 hours, you had time.

The 3rd floor button lights up when you press it.

This was wrong, you really shouldn't be here; ding. The elevator doors open and you step off of it. It takes all of you not to turn around and get back on it. There's a sign in front of you; 301 - 315 to the left, 316 - 325 to the right.

You turn to the right, counting the numbers as you passed them.

316 - 317- 318 - 319 - 320.

321.

Standing in front of the door; you still have a chance to get away but you don't. You knock on the wooden door and the sudden urge to throw up was all you could think of.

Maybe you can still get away.

Turn around, y/n. Run - run as fast as your feet can take you. You shouldn't be there.

It's too late, you don't turn fast enough and the door opens. Carlos smiles at you, leaning on the wooden door.

His shorts hung off his hips, minus a shirt and you'd say you weren't staring but you were. Eyes trailing over his bare body, counting the indents as you went lower. You'd never admit it to anyone but how you wished his shorts weren't in the way right now.

"Hi," you whisper, not even sure if the word came out of your mouth.

"You came," he says, smiling; there it is again, that mischievous look on his face.

You nod. "I did."

"Where is he?" He looks at you - he being Charles. You point behind you, as if he was there. "You know.. the club."

"Good," he smiles, stepping aside. "Are you going to stand out here all night or come in?"

You step past him, pushing your better judgment out of the window the moment the door shuts. You make it about half way into the room before you pause, turning around to face him.

"I'm really sorry about your race, you deserved to be up there too. Or at least be in the points."

Carlos shrugs, "that's life, corazón."

He steps closer to you and everything in your head is screaming; red flag!! run!! don't stay! go away! in big red, bold letters and yet, you stood across from the man.

"Is he expecting you anytime soon?" Carlos asks you, his hand cupping your jaw.

"I told him I would see him when he gets home. Why?"

"Then I have time," he pulls you flush against him.

You shouldn't. Wrong doesn't even begin to cover what was about to happen in this room. You shouldn't even be in this stupid room, with this stupidly handsome man.

Carlos's lips ghost over yours, ever so soft and you can't help it. You had a feeling - you promised yourself - this was never going to happen again and it might even ruin your relationship but god, how you wanted him.

"We can't," your hand wraps around his wrist.

He nods, "I know.. but you want to."

"I do."

"Then that's enough."

When Carlos kissed you, it's like nothing you had ever experienced before. You had never been kissed like that in your life; it was drawing, like he had a hold over you, kept pulling you back in until you had nothing left to give.

And frankly, you'd give him anything he wanted.

Everything about him was intoxicating. From the taste of his lips to the stubble on his cheeks scratching against yours. You needed him in a way that was indescribable.

Carlos wasn't sure what came over him.. well, he knew exactly what it was.

He wanted you to be his and even if it took a hundred years, you'd be his. He'd make sure of it.

You're everything he could have ever wanted. Your hands are everywhere, feeling all over him and he didn't care if your mouth was already on his, he wanted more. He wanted everything you could give him and he'd take it.

Carlos was greedy in that way. He doesn't stop to think how this would hurt you or your relationship.

In a some sort of fucked up way, he thought this was fair.

Charles gets to be the star boy for the team and he couldn't deny it longer. As much as he smiles and laughs with the media, everyone, including him, knows Charles will always be the focus of the team.

He wasn't going to let him have you as well.

He didn't care if he never won another race in his life; you were his prize.

Your purse tossed on the floor when he picks you up, your legs wrapped around him as Carlos gets on the bed with you.

You hadn't noticed that your phone fell out of your purse, too caught up with the man in front of you to notice your phone buzzing on the floor.

From Charles: did you get home okay?

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lebrickster · 1 year

Text

2022 Year-in review but 6 days early

2022… that was certainly a year.

Truthfully, life has been a blur for me for a good while, so specific memories of 2022 are scattered and distant for me. Regardless, I wanted to go ahead and write up this post, about what I recall doing this year, and what I'm "proud" of. I have nothing better to do this day, and wanted to do something, so why not this?

The start of 2022 is not one I remember too well, but I do recall around early in the year, we finally started working on getting me my State ID, and Debit Card. Without these, I was more or less stuck at home, not able to get a job, or do online purchases without Gift Cards. Now that I had these, I was able to go job hunting, and in early August of the year, I landed a job, which I still maintain, now. The job has been filled with a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm grateful to have what I do as my first job, and not another job which would probably be rougher, and pay less. The freedom to finally buy things for myself, and to be able to help the family out with rent, has been nice, as I feel less like a useless nobody who does nothing but waste space, and bother people.

On the note of rent, after a long time of talking and planning, my brother's friend has finally moved into our house, taking the room my sister once had as her own. This friend didn't have the best of lives growing up, and long since wanted to get away from his miserable living conditions. Truthfully, I'm not sure if we're better or worse than his previous living arrangements, since he minds his own business, and doesn't talk to us much, aside from my brother, or asking one of us questions, but still, I hope he's at least a bit happier here, than where he was at, before. Hopefully he'll soon have a job and be able to help with paying the rent, too, but, only time shall tell when exactly what happens, I suppose.

One of the sad things that I learned of this year, is my father finally going to the doctors, only to find out he has some kind of gunk in his lungs. We believe it's to be asbestos, from his time at the Navy, which was recently further evidenced by this briefcase he's kept, where letters from his time during the Navy, warned of asbestos being in stuff like the water. Appointments will be coming soon to properly confirm what is going on. It's rather unfortunate, since I had been well aware of my father not doing as well, coughing a lot more, and having to leave work only. But one bright side to this is if it's found that being in the Navy is responsible for his current well-being, he can get disability funds, and retire from work, meaning he can rest easy during his final days, get medication to make himself to a better spot, and possibly even give us more money than we're currently making. I'm hoping that is able to go through in the end, but if it's not able to, I'll still be there for my Dad, and support him, regardless.

To go back to myself, well… I have a Yamaha PSR-E403, now, I guess? This musical keyboard is the same model that Club Penguin composer, Chris Hendricks, used in his earlier original compositions. It has a sound set that I am fond of, and wanted to own for myself. Above all else, I'm hoping I can use this keyboard to finally learn music, which is something I feel somewhat obligated to learn. Due to my status as project leader for the Church of Kondo, many assumed I was already a musician, when I wasn't. I'm hoping with this keyboard, I'll finally be able to learn music, and live up to some of what folk seem to expect out of me. Not that my friends have any issue with me not being a musician, but still…

Though on the note of that, to talk about something, I'd say my general confidence, and self view of myself has elevated, for the most part. There are still some doubts on my end, but overall, I feel less bad for being who I am. There's nothing wrong with having what may seem like unimpressive interests, or stuff like that, and to put myself down for not living up to high standards that none of my friends expect me to live up to, is just stupid. My friends have assured me time and time again that they're fine with me for who I am, and that I'm not a burden. It's helped me a lot, especially for feeling more comfortable with an interest of mine that I was afraid of for a long while, but have grown to accept it, since I have friends who are fine with it, and don't see me as weird for it.

What else is there… Well, I finally got a Fat PS2. Modded with a SATA adapter, and Noctua fan mod. Though in the process, the Disc drive seems to no longer work… I reckon a ribbon got disconnected, or torn, but I've been too afraid to open up the console again to check, since I did both mods kinda blind, which resulted in a lot of frustration, and confusion. I really should have just waited on my brother…

Though on a less frustrating note is my Windows 98 machine and N64! For the Windows 98 machine, I've been able to get a Sound Blaster AWE32 (CT3980) to replace the old Sound Blaster 16, and a Voodoo 3 2000 PCI to replace the old Voodoo 2/ATI Mach 64 combo I was using, which has boosted the sound capabilities of the machine, and got rid of the crashing issues I was having with the Voodoo 2 I had. I also upgraded the hard drive to use an SD2IDE adapter, and the floppy drive to use a GOTEK USB Floppy Emulator. For the N64, I got it out of storage, and got a good condition old controller for it (Blue), an Everdrive 64 X7, expansion pack, FRAM Modded Memory Card, and No Batter Modded Rumble Pack. I haven't had too much motivation or time to play it for the time being, but I've overall enjoyed my time with it, so far. (That analog stick is weird as hell, though. Hadn't used one in years, so it's still taking some getting used to, to use the N64 stick)

I can't think of much else to type, in terms of significant events from this year. There is one more big upgrade I hope to do before year end, but I'll post about that later. For now, I guess I'll move onto what I hope to achieve in the coming year.

For the new year, I'm hoping to generally just be a less annoying person to talk with? Not in the conventional sense, since most folk generally enjoy talking with me, but more so in the sense of… I need to chill out, and stop worrying so much. After I send messages, whether it be the same day, or a few days later, I get worried often that what I said was weird, offensive, or other things like that, when it most often isn't. For this coming year, I'm going to try hard to avoid these kinds of worry messages that just clog up DMs, and perhaps come off as annoying. I can trust my friends, so there's no real need for me to continue sending such messages, when I already have been told/know they have no issue with anything I say, or talk about.

On a similar note, I'm also going to just further embrace myself for who I am, and question myself, less. Some specific friends this year have helped me come to terms with who I am with something specific, and it's made me feel a lot more comfortable in myself, making me realize there's nothing wrong with what it is I like. Plus, having friends who have the same interest also helps in making feel less alien, and weird.

The coming year, I'll probably look for another job, too. While this current one works, it would be nice to have a higher pay rate, and one that has more… stable staff, I suppose. Dealing with people quitting all of the time, or not showing up, isn't really ideal, in the slightest, and just adds on a lot of stress.

Well, I think that might actually be all I have to say here. I wrote about way more than I expected, and it's reminded me that perhaps my life isn't as dull and boring as I figured it was, especially if there's this much to cover. I look forward to 2023, and hope it to be a better year than this one. Here's to hoping it is, and that the Mario Movie is ok, at the very least!

#year in review #windows 98 #n64 #nintendo 64 #sound blaster awe32

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