#I think this is why they invent therapists i

[cosmereplay]

Kaladin Didn’t Invent Therapy (And Why That’s Actually Great)

“...You need someone to talk to, Noril, when the darkness is strong. Someone to remind you the world hasn’t always been this way; that it won’t always be this way.” “How do you … know this?” Noril asked. “I’ve felt it,” Kaladin said. “Feel it most days.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

I’m writing as someone with a background in psychotherapy and peer support, and I'm bursting with excitement about one of my favourite topics. You can imagine why I love Kaladin’s arc in Rhythm of War so much! I actually yelled out loud when I read some of these parts the first time.

I’ve seen people online saying and making jokes that Kaladin invents therapy, and while that could eventually be true, what Kaladin actually invented in RoW is mental health peer support. Psychotherapy as most people would understand it simply doesn’t exist yet on Roshar. However, peer support is a legitimate modality for healing on its own merits. Even more importantly for the story, peer support is something Kaladin would personally really benefit from, and it fits his narrative arc way better than therapy would.

1. Therapy as we know it won’t exist for a while yet.

“We need to study their responses, use an empirical approach to treatment instead of just assuming someone who has suffered mental trauma is permanently broken.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy “Someone needs to talk to them, try different treatments, see what they think works. What actually helps.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

Obviously, Kaladin has not been educated in battle shock or melancholia or any other diagnosis. In Alethkar there's hardly any knowledge to be had on the subject. Even now in real life, research into effective interventions for various diagnoses is still ongoing, over 100 years after modern therapy was founded.

Building an empirical knowledge base* will take time, not to mention the years it will take to train new therapists across Roshar in how to provide interventions specific to various issues. Therapy as we know it today generally includes time in mentorship with another therapist, so in a way, the first therapist isn't a therapist. 😅 In the meantime, there are people who need help today, including Kaladin.

Peer support can fill that gap because its knowledge base is different. Peers bring their expertise, which is their years of trial and error, successes and failures - their lived experience. Peer facilitators need to know the basics of managing a group, and they have to be willing to share their own experiences and learn from the group. Thus, training peer leaders is relatively quick, and incredibly scalable and adaptable across cultures and many issues/diagnoses.

2. Peer Support is a distinct path to recovery that doesn’t require an expert in therapy.

Kaladin located six men in the sanitarium with similar symptoms. He released them and got them working to support each other. He developed a plan, and showed them how to share in ways that would help...Today they sat in seats on the balcony outside his clinic. Warmed by mugs of tea, they talked. About their lives. The people they’d lost. The darkness. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding “While you can’t force it, having someone to talk to usually helps. You should be letting him meet with others who feel like he does.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25, Devotary of Mercy

Kaladin is already positioning himself to align with the values of peer support. Some of these values overlap with therapy, such as dignity, respect, inclusion, hope, and trust. What makes peer support different is a particular emphasis on equal relationships, self-determination, and personal growth (Peer Support Canada, 2022).

In peer support, the group facilitator is not considered an authority like a therapist would be. A peer leader may be further on the road to recovery, but they may not be. They are expected to listen and grow just like any other group member.

Because the leader of the group is also a learner, peer support groups tend to be more collaborative and open-ended. Everyone in the group has something they can take out of it and something to give. Everyone in the group is responsible for managing their own self care, and everyone in the group is responsible for the direction of their own growth. This is different from most therapy groups, which often have a specific focus or goal that the therapist is responsible for implementing. And speaking of responsibility...

3. Peer Support Fits Kaladin’s Narrative Arc Better than Therapy

At his father’s recommendation—then insistence—Kaladin took it slowly, confining his initial efforts to men who shared similar symptoms. Battle fatigue, nightmares, persistent melancholy, suicidal tendencies. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding …he’d learned—these last few months—that his battle shock could take many forms. He was getting to where he could confront it. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 39 Invasion

I think everyone can agree that Kaladin needs to participate in therapy just as much as the other battle-shocked men he finds in the Devotary of Mercy.

However, in therapy, the focus is solely on the needs of the clients. A therapist should not be distracted by their own issues (when this happens, it’s called countertransference). Further, therapy is generally framed such that the therapist is the only expert in the room, which means therapists have a higher level of responsibility for how the clients are doing (which varies depending on the issue, the therapy modality, and the circumstances).

In his own recovery, Kaladin is working on trying to take less responsibility for others, so setting him up as a therapeutic authority could be harmful for him. In a position of authority, he might be tempted to replicate the hierarchical structure he was in before (which would impede his own growth), or try to save everyone (which could impede everyone's growth). He simply doesn’t have the mentorship or knowledge base he'd need to work through those issues before leading as an expert.

In contrast, the point of peer support is the mutual sharing of lived experience. The group facilitator is expected to share their own struggles (as a model of recovery), and allow others to support them. In the context of a more balanced power dynamic, Kaladin can give the other group members the space they need to grow, and he can pursue his own recovery without feeling like he’s letting others down. Also, he will be able to leave the group during KOWT without worrying that the group won't be able to run without him. Everyone in the group carries some responsibility for each other, so group members can come and go with less stress than a change in therapist would cause in group therapy.

This is the beauty of peer support. It can happen anywhere people with similar experiences get together. No formal education is required. What is required is a willingness to know yourself as well as you can; to share your experiences; to listen to others tell their stories; to question your own assumptions as you learn how others handle things differently; to look out for each other's safety; to care.

Peer support creates a place of belonging and a community repository of shared wisdom. Kaladin almost had it on Bridge Four, but his position of authority wouldn’t allow him to grow the way he needed. Peer support is what Kaladin needs - he needs a place where he can take off his armour among people who get it because they're struggling with similar issues, and without having a position of responsibility over them. When he (eventually**) attends the groups, they help him grow!

Anyway, that's why Kaladin didn’t invent therapy, and why I think that's great.

For the men chatting together softly, the change was in being shown sunlight again. In being reminded that the darkness did pass. But perhaps most important, the change was in not merely knowing that you weren’t alone—but in feeling it. Realizing that no matter how isolated you thought you were, no matter how often your brain told you terrible things, there were others who understood. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding

---

*Funny enough, empirical research could lead Rosharan researchers right back to peer support. Empirical research on Earth has shown that modern therapy and peer support have similar levels of effectiveness (for example, for depression and PTSD).

**Look who’s resisting attending the groups he founded…KALADIN!! (shakes fist in the general direction of the sky) (This is the most relatable passage for me in this whole book, by the way, helper types unite lmao):

Kaladin looked down at the table. Had it? Had talking to Noril helped? “He’s been avoiding joining in,” Teft said. “I haven’t,” Kaladin snapped. “I’ve been busy.” Teft gave him a flat stare. Storming sergeants. They always heard the things you weren’t saying. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 38 Rhythm of the Terrors

Peer Support Canada. (2022). Peer Support Core Values. Accessed from https://peersupportcanada.ca/ Jun 27, 2022.

#I shared this on reddit a while ago but it got archived so here #enjoy #this is not an april fools thing this is just bad timing on my part #kaladin stormblessed #rhythm of war #row spoilers #kaladin didn't invent therapy #peer support #stormlight archive #the stormlight archive #stormlight essay #stormlight meta #god i love kaladin so much

[heartsgettingwiser62]

Ok so I think I may be losing my mind over some plastic wrap lmao

But PLEASE look at this and tell me I'm not crazy and this is actually weird:

Karen I'm begging you to explain to me why the fuck do you have 2 plastic wrap packages from different brands UPSIDE DOWN in your kitchen cabinet. PLS.

Is it just me?? Is this completely normal and I'm losing my mind over nothing??? I mean probably but WHY ARE THEY THE ONLY THING THAT'S UPSIDE DOWN AND PLUS THEY'RE COMPLETELY LEGIBLE

So since I've spent the last 3 hours looking at fucking plastic wrap let me share some thoughts:

First of all, to structure this mess in some way, let's look at the dates. First, at the Reynolds Wrap invention date. Bc PLS LOOK AT THIS

Oh. Looks like it was created in 1947. Do you guys wanna know who was also born in 1947??

I. Uh. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.

"It could be a coincidence" Dude I KNOW I'm just doing this bc I've spent hours researching about plastic wrap and I NEED to tell someone ok y'all are my therapists ksjdalkj

Now the Glad Wrap was founded in 1963, and some pages say that Kali was born in 1963, others in 1964, and others that in s2 she's 16/17 so there's no way she was born back then; so idk about this date.

Now let's go with the ads, starting with Glad Wrap bc it's by far the most interesting one.

I've seen multiple commercials but none of them seemed to have anything meaningful EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE WHICH IS MAKING ME ABSOLUTELY LOSE MY MIND:

Am I crazy. Do I seriously need to sleep. Or does that look an awful lot like Karen Wheeler??? Especially here in s4????

I mean, the hairstyle and the blond hair, but much more importantly, the outfit.

Like?????? I mean I get that it's 80's white wealthy woman fashion, fine, but that's a whole load of coincidences???

Now for the rest of the ad, the plastic wrap thingy that attacks the woman is pretty interesting, as well as the clock in the background for Vecna reasons. Regarding similarities with the Wheeler's kitchen, I could only catch due to the low quality the bowl with apples and the phone on the wall (you can't see it on the screenshot but there's a phone behind Mike). I couldn't really find anything about the strawberries, but if y'all know something pls tell me

As a bonus, the ad is from 1987, which as far as I know is when everyone guesses s5 is gonna take place in

Now there's no much to see in the Reynolds Wrap ads, except maybe this one:

(Ignore the yt bar lmao) Although not as much as the previous one, the woman's outfit in that frame does remind me of this Karen s4 look, the same look she has on that scene the damn plastic wrap came from.

Ik this is all probably meaningless, buuuut do you guys want more meaningless shit??

Let's go back to the Glad Wrap ad. The slogan for that specific ad is "Don't get mad. Get glad." Welp, Vecna's a fan of this last word bc out of 9 times it's said in s5, 4 are said by him.

Let's take a quick look at the most interesting time he says that word. We're in Vecna's monologue in chp 7, and in the same scene just some minutes before, he says this:

"I could not do that. I could not close off my mind and join in the madness. I could not pretend. And I realized, I didn't have to."

Let's remember the slogan: "Don't get mad. Get glad."

Then, a couple minutes later, in the same scene:

"And soon, others were born. You were born. And I am so glad you were, Eleven. So very glad."

Now literally two seconds before this last line, this shot was happening:

And. Um. Do you. Do you guys know what's used for tattoos. Um.

Plastic wrap???

Do y'all get why I said I've a hundred percent lost my mind sjdfisdjfil

Ok so. That was it. Anyways I couldn't find anything else important about the rest of items in the kitchen shelve. If y'all have a better explanation as to WHY TF are those plastic wrap packages upside down and perfectly legible, PLS TELL ME. This said, goodbye

#giving a kiss on the forehead to everyone who read this whole thing muac muac ily #dude i was making an actual interesting post till i noticed the fucking plastic wrap and now i can't even remember what i was doing lol #byler #<<<target audience #stranger things theory #stranger things #henry creel #vecna #martin brenner #stranger things analysis #stranger things set design #set design #mike wheeler #karen wheeler #henry creel theory #karen wheeler theory #001

[alexaloraetheris]

I juat remembered the day, about two months ago, when I went to renew my perscription and ended up derailed by some kind of divine influence that really, really wanted my help. 😂

So I have an appointment at 9. First thing I do is sleep in because my alarm simply did not ring. First time that happened. I cursed out the damn phone and ordered a taxi, which I had specifically hoping to avoid because of the traffic congestion.

My driver is a woman a bit older than me, and she's in a good mood so we chat. She told me she was thinking of moving to [city on the coast] because taxi drivers are paid better there, and I tell her I have family there, we comment on what it's like to drive in a city essentially built into three hills and a cliff. She mentiones she has scoliosis, and it sometimes impacts her ability to sit in a car for long periods of time. I had scoliosis as well, but I had managed to fix it with exercises almost completely so I recommended my physical therapist, and assured her it's not too late, because some of the people in my therapy group were even older than her. When she let me off she thanked me for the help.

Feeling good that, even if I had to pay out the nose for the ride, I got there in time and even managed to do a good deed. I rush in, tell the reception guy I'm here to see my doctor and settle in to wait.

Two hours later, I see people being called in but not my name. I ask why, and doctor looks at me blankly and says I'm not in the system. I have to tell the reception I've arrived so I show up on his schedule.

I'm mentally cursing out the entire hospital, but I wasn't raised by wolves. I thank the doctor, politely tell the different receptionist that the last guy probably didn't hear me when I told him my appointment, got added in and went back to wait.

Ten minutes later, a visibly nervous girl with freshly printed papers sits in the waiting room. I'm in a bit of a mood, but I'm also a firm believer in helping if I can. I paste on a smile and ask 'First time?' and she admits she just got sent here for a potential ADHD diagnosis and she had no idea what to do. Having been there and knowing exactly how hard it was to do it on your own, I gave her the number of the psychologist who made my diagnosis, assured her that the psychiatrist she was here to see is the same one I have and that he's a good guy, explained what ADHD actually was and how the meds work. She was neraly crying with relief by the time I was done, and I promised she could send me questions if she needs to.

I finally, finally go in for my appointment in a slightly better mood, only for my psychiatrist to tell me Concerta is no longer imported, I have to go on some other meds and for that I need my family doctor to sign off on a regular perscription instead of getting an Rx perscription from him.

This is the worst case scenario, because I do NOT want my mother, who thinks ADHD was invented by quack American psychologists to sell expensive meds to parents with unruly children, to know I have ADHD. So I mentally curse out the entire healthcare system, go to the family doctor and explain the situation, that my mother absolutely CANNOT know about my diagnosis. Even though the doctor was not aware of my diagnosis so far, she listens attentively, and we make sure that my mom can't check the insurance we're both under to see what meds I'm on or that if she checks my name in the pharmacy directory she can't see me either.

I thought I handled that situation rather well but I must have looked more worried than I thought, because the doctor admitted her high-school age granddaughter had been asking questions about psychologists and antidepressants and she had so far been dismissive. But if she really needs help, she might do the same thing I did and seek help on her own, and my doctor realized she ought to either change her attitude fast or be left in the dark while her granddaughter is struggling. So I told her which psychologist I went to when I was also a depressed high schooler and how it helped and what I would have wanted my family to keep in mind. She thanks me and hands me a new perscription and sends me on my way.

So by now I am starting to notice a pattern.

Now, I'm actually an atheist, and I have 'Culturally Catholic' as a flaw and a laundry list of Stuff(TM) I have had to unlearn, but sometimes I really wonder if Someone Up There looked at me that day and thought:

"Hmm, looks like I have three problems I can solve with one well-positioned dumbass. Time to ruin her day for the good of the world!"

I mean. Happy to help but I really hope ruining my day won't be necessary next time.

#adhd #sometimes a god coopts you for the greater good #and you do what you gotta do

[fatesmono]

valentines day with yoongi

✮⋆˙ warning : some language + i haven’t written in half a year so.

✮⋆˙ this is an “x reader” so yk insert gender <3

✮⋆˙a.n : so todays valentine’s day (its the 13th at 11:59 posting this, great job me :3). so happy valentines i guess. i’m spending it celebrating jaehyun's birthday and writing abt my husband who’s in the war. i haven’t written in like, six years (six months) so pls go easy on me 

✮⋆˙enjoy loves <3333 happy valentines day !!

i never liked valentine’s day. it was always a stupid ass holiday if i do say so myself. am i saying that bc i never had a good valentine ? …maybe so, why are you so nosy ?? anyways, that was before i met him, min yoongi. i never met a man who says he hates a holiday so much but also goes all out for it. our first valentines last year i expected him to not really get me anything or like a bouquet of flowers since it wasn’t that much…i got a bouquet alright, like seven of them (he had said he didn’t know which one i would like so he just got me all of the ones he thought i would want), plus a shit ton of chocolate and just little things like one of his hoodies and this ring i had been eyeing for like months beforehand. so much for “valentines day isn’t really my thing” right ? all men do is lie, even min yoongi.

okay but anyways, here we are now, a year later. i wanna prove myself this year, i refuse to be out-valentines’d by him, no matter what that takes. now just one problem, he’s rich, i work at a coffee shop. shit, i know right ? but we will make it work i don’t care. 

so have i had this planned out for the last two months like a gta heist ? yes. but i NEED this day to go perfect. did it ? NO. NO IT DIDNT. first the necklace i got him with his name won’t be ready until the 17th, and then the kiss hoodie i was working on for him GETS BLEACHED SPILLED ON HIM, curtesy of our cat, johnny, and then; if it wasn’t going awful anyway, the cupcakes i made for him burned. and i’m going to his studio as we speak…this is my thirteenth reason. so right now all we have is his favorite flowers, a bleached hoodie with my kisses and a book of poems i wrote for him, sigh. SIGH. and if it didn’t help, he already gave me half of my gift before he left and it’s ten times better. A ROSE GOLD NECKLACE, he got me a rose gold encrusted with the sun because “i’m the sun to his moon”, he makes me wanna bash my head sometimes from how sweet he is. 

so getting to his studio, the definition of “shaking in my little boots”. i can hear him practicing his music from outside his studio, it’s like walking into beethoven working on smth if beethoven was your 30 year old idol boyfriend for a kpop group, if that makes sense, which is doesn’t so. anyways, i put in the code for his studio (it’s our anniversary, excuse me while i cry.) and quietly walk in to not disturb him, which isn’t that hard since he has tunnel vision as he invented it, and quietly tap his shoulder gently to get his attention. he turns around, taking off his headphones and noticing me with a small smile on his face, which might as well have been a kiss from him then and then. 

“hey love, happy valentine’s day, what are you doing here ?”, god why does he have to have such a perfect voice; it’s like he doesn’t even have to try. i go on to give him to give him his gift and try to explain that i had much more to give him and i knew it wasn’t enough to give and- and he cuts me off. good job if i do say so myself because the yapping i do, i could win a medal. 

“honey honey, this is perfect…you didn’t even have to get me anything, and you wrote me poems…that’s like writing me a song, this means the world to me. you remembered my favorite flowers, and this hoodie..i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a gift like this from anyone before, not even the guys. thank you so much…”, and my heart just turns into a puddle then and there. all my worries gone in a second, how does he do it ? he really should’ve become a therapist in another life, but i guess he does that with his music. but anyways, did i expect him to like the gift ? absolutely not. i did try to pay for dinner that night and he still didn’t let me do it, saying it was “an extra gift” as if i needed anymore gifts. remind me next to try and not outgift a rich idol who’s secret love language is definitely gift giving. 

i’m still getting next years gifts ready anyways. i’m so winning next year, i don't care.

#yoongi #min yoongi #valentines day #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #fluff #bts #yoongi x reader

[bonefall]

Do you think we could get a rundown of Skyclan leaders like you did for Shadowclan? From when the destruction of their forest territory started to when Skyclan broke up?

It would be a pretty short list, because of the massive interruption.

Leaders Flystar -> Cloudstar -> Spiderstar -> (RATS WE'RE RATS WE'RE THE RATS) -> Leafstar

Clerics Twigtail -> Fawnstep -> Brackenheart -> Oakstep -> (Unnamed Link) -> Pricklenose -> Skywatcher

You'll notice that the Cleric list doesn't have an interruption; that is because the Cleric took the role we eventually see Skywatcher in. They called them the Hub, after the center of a spiderweb. It was someone who would keep track of where all the dispersed cats were and pass on relevant news.

Modern Clerics evolving out of the Hub is why SkyClan's medics are so strange. They have some massive differences from a Forest Four Cleric.

There is no law against them having children. In fact, it's preferred that they did, as it's proof that they know how to care for other cats.

They can have mates, too. Echosong is actually casually the girlfriend of Leafstar.

They act more like a combined doctor/therapist than a doctor/priest. SkyClan clerics are here to treat physical and mental needs. Instead, the leader takes on more spiritual roles.

Anyway, leader succession guide;

Flystar

The destruction of the territory was happening before he was leader, but he took over when it started getting real bad in the Skyfall Era.

He was a HARDCORE kind of loyalist leader. We would know him today as a Hard Traditionalist, insisted his warriors pray harder and live better lives to prevent the destruction.

He invented the Law of the Wild, which we know as the law that bans becoming a kittypet. He did this in response to many of his warriors trying to live double lives.

Lived for a very long time, and oversaw the worst of the destruction, but Forest Four remember the story completely wrong.

The story is told that Flystar forestalled disaster with his hard ways, but Cloudstar was a weak, bumbling successor, who is ultimately blamed for SkyClan's exile.

In truth, Flystar died and left Cloudstar as a young successor. Cloudstar hadn't lost a single life or ruled for more than a year when the last acre of forest was clear-cut.

Flystar was a brown cat with black dapples on his face and chest.

Cloudstar

Gets done so, so dirty in the Forest Four history lessons. I have an entire scene dedicated to Firestar realizing that the story sounds pretty fucked up in Firestar's Quietus.

His first deputy was Buzzardtail, who was his best friend. They tried to keep the Clan together, wandering for years while looking for a new home.

In terms of personality, Cloudstar was a total worrywart. He was always preparing for the worst, and his ingenuity saved a ton of lives. He cared a lot for safety and making sure the travelers were procuring rations.

It still wasn't enough. He was a fantastic leader, soft, caring, beyond dedicated to his friends and family. Cats still died.

He was constantly missing his mate, Birdsong, and his kittens. He was notoriously amazing with the kits, often carrying them when they got too tired.

He was a big guy, too.

Displays the same vitiligo as Skystar and has a striking resemblance to him. Definitely a direct descendant.

His blotches loosely resembled an eye on his side, which ended up becoming... that.

Spiderstar

No Buzzardstar in BB. Buzzardtail died during the very long journey.

But Spiderflight knew him very well. He was her mentor.

Cloudstar died in the abandoned barn where the rats would eventually gather, every night.

Spiderflight had spent most of her life traveling, most of SkyClan had. She did not remember the old forest, just the general stretch of land that would become their Gorge territory.

She only knew what had been taken from her in stories. Kit's tales, to her, she'd been born on the move and that was where her heart was.

She picked up a lot from Cloudstar's resourcefulness. She'd always been close to the leadership, ever since she was young. Slotting into the role was easy.

Cloudstar never wanted to leave such a young successor, as Flystar had done to him, but he had no choice in the end.

She'd never been "good" at sadness. She didn't want to sit vigil in that barn with everyone else; it was too easy to give into despair if she didn't keep moving.

It was Spiderstar who settled SkyClan into the area, and she was the first Hub really. She just happened to teach Oakstep how to do it next.

Important since she only got three lives.

She had distinctive web-like stripes on her tabby body, a large "cape" over her shoulder of two big spokes connected by smaller strokes.

#BB!Skyclan #Firestar's Quietus #Better bones au #BB!Spiderstar #BB!Flystar #BB!Cloudstar #Skyclan culture

[heretherebedork]

Ray thinks of himself as a "burden", but then why does he keep going back to Sand, knowing how Sand feels about him, and keeps "burdening" Sand. Or does he not think of himself as a burden when he is with Sand? Does he not understand he is in fact, hurting Sand too.

I just can't understand what Ray is actually feeling for Sand at this point. What is Sand for Ray: A lover/ part-time lover/ friend/ confidante/ caretaker/someone easy to use and throw/ a booty call/ a therapist/ or an actual rebound?

Ray can both think of himself as a burden and seek out people to help carry him at the same time while also feeling bad about it.

That's been a big part of his entire time with his friend group, honestly. He calls himself a burden, they all call him a burden and then he just.... stays with them. They stay with him. They laugh at him and call him a pain in the ass and a burden and roll their eyes but they're still there.

And it's the same for Sand. Ray looks at Sand and he sees someone who keeps trying to support him and talk to him but whom he has no history with and who looks at him differently, who treats him differently.

Who is Sand to Ray?

He's a lover because he's falling in love.

He's a part time lover because neither of them is willing to face how serious this is becoming or discuss it.

He's a friend because Ray wants to be with him.

He's a confidante because Ray can talk to him because Sand can listen.

He's a caretaker because he takes care of him because that's what Sand does with his friends and lovers and family and because Ray needs to be taken care of and so desperately craves that as well.

He's someone easy to use and throw aside because Sand used him to get revenge on Top and pushed him away each time he tried to talk about their feelings and so Ray doesn't know how else to face his feelings.

He's a booty call because they've done that before and Ray would definitely like to do that again.

He's a therapist because Sand is probably the closest thing to a therapist Ray has ever seen, honestly.

Actual rebound... that's the only one I'm iffy on because I actually think that this return to Mew is more of a rebound from Sand using him him for revenge than anything else and that his feelings for Sand run deeper and more true than his feelings for Mew and that only makes them scarier and more complex.

Anyway, yes. All of the above.

They are the reason 'it's complicated' was invented to describe relationships and they will be the reason that more people start using 'it's messy as fuck' as well.

#only friends #only friends meta #sandray #raysand #ofs ray #only friends ray #ofts #only friends the series #only friends sand #thai bl #bl series #thai drama #thai series #thaibl #asianlgbtqdramas #asian lgbtq dramas #thai bl series #thai bl drama #bl drama #asked and answered

[probablyhuntersmom]

A Bit of Mental Health 101 with Hunter: Analyses by a Therapist

Disclaimer: This is in no way a substitute for therapy: it's only psychoeducation. Please consult a therapist and/or hotline and get the help you need if you are experiencing mental health difficulties, especially if experiencing distress or issues that feel unmanageable.

Warnings: themes such as abuse and trauma ahead.

I thought to share some pieces of info from a few counselling theories and general mental info, which are way easier to grasp when I tie them to specific Hunter scenes. These might lead you to some realizations about yourself or someone else, which you could then bring up with a therapist if you like.

1. Survival Stances/Communication Stances: You might spot these in yourself or those around you. They are responses to stress and anxiety when you interact with other people. There are 5 in total; the first 4 are indicators of low self-worth and are where our childhood wounds are; the last one means you are healthily able to be present with difficult emotions and respond with relative calmness and clear thinking. Each one involves whether or not you are acknowledging three things: yourself (Self), the people you're interacting with (Other), and viewing the situation clearly (Context). The stances come from a theory called Satir Transformational Systemic Therapy (STST), or the Satir Model, invented by Virginia Satir who earned the title of "Mother of Family Therapy".

Placating:

It disregards Self, but recognizes Other and Context. You may blame yourself for something that isn't your fault at all. This is very common, especially with many parents in society who fail to acknowledge their child's pain, and who raise parentified children. As you can imagine, the way Belos raised Hunter would make the poor kid quite a Placater.

Blaming:

The opposite of Placating. Disregards the Other, but recognizes Self and Context. Definitely rare in Hunter, but being raised in the toxic environment of the castle and holding a high rank would've contributed to these tendencies. Maybe the closest thing would be him defensively snapping at Alador as shown above. What he could've chosen to do instead was calmly persuade Alador that he was in fact, not eager to return to Belos and why, independent of what Alador might think. But to do that in a calm manner would've been tough since the Day of Unity affected everyone.

Super-Reasonable:

Disregards Self and Other, only paying attention to Context. Also very common in my experience because we as a whole are a emotions-adverse, grief-adverse and find-quick-solutions/resolve-inconveniences-quickly sort of society. Emotions aren't often given the space they need to be experienced. In the screenshot above, Hunter is emotionally detaching from the validity of his own betrayal-related pain (disregarding Self), saying Gus is foolish and that his points aren't valid (disregarding Other), and trying to use pure cold logic to intellectualize why there's no point of paying attention to what they actually need in their dynamic.

Irrelevant:

The opposite of Super-Reasonable. It disregards all three areas, and people in this category are usually the class clowns or jokester types. Their stress response is to try and lighten the mood in the room quickly with something off-topic so that they don't need to feel anxiety. I haven't noticed it in obvious ways in Hunter, but when he quickly cuts Luz off from potentially mentioning that he's a grimwalker above, trying to put on a big smile and act all jolly/positive...it's the closest he's gotten. It would become an issue if repeated jokester behavior to avoid what needs addressing, is not benefitting his relationships with people who are actually trustworthy.

Leveling:

The healthy stance out of all 5. You are a Leveler if you can be calm, firm and understanding of the current situation, and (the following is to minimize defensive reactions from the other party) respectful of both your views and other people's views, when in conflict with others. However, obviously you should never remain in a conflict if it gets actually dangerous for yourself. (Obviously I would tell anyone to run from Belos! He is physically dangerous, not just emotionally, and we know he won't listen to reason. In the above situation, poor Hunter was in a crazy life-threatening situation)

Two important notes: - Placaters and Blamers may unhealthily attract one another in romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, work relationships. I'm not too sure about Super-Reasonable and Irrelevant people attracting one another, though. - However, we can have all of these 5 in ourselves, e.g. you can be either a Placater or Blamer in different situations.

2. Self-Leadership: Draws from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory. When we are in touch with what this theory refers to us our Self, it's the best version of us, and you could also say it's your true self. It is split into 8 parts which mean it's often conveniently called The 8C's of Self-Leadership. I guess when you are able to access all 8 of them, you are at a point of self-actualization. I like how it's nicely split up so you can work on whichever areas you feel might need to discuss, with a therapist.

In Hunter's case, you can spot improvements in mental health when he gets in touch with these qualities (man, thank you Dana, directors, writers, storyboarders, animators of the show..the fact that I can easily find which frames to use shows how much quality the writing and visuals have):

Clarity

Calmness

Compassion

Connectedness

Courage

Confidence

Curiosity

Creativity

3. Psychological Flexibility

A pretty neat theory called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has the above title as its main goal. (The person behind this theory wrote a book called The Happiness Trap, that goes into why we have unnecessary additional stress by expecting/pressuring ourselves to be happy all the time: instead of the better option of embracing the downs in life too, not just the ups... the book is free if you find it on PDFDrive dot com..)

ACT places plenty of importance on the specific words we use when having our own self-dialogue, which forms what we think of ourselves etc. If a therapist uses the ACT route, they hope to guide their clients towards the three pillars of ACT: being Open, Centered, and Engaged. Each pillar splits into two areas...so it's a total of six aspects of psychological flexibility which I'll list below:

Pillar 1: "Open"

A) Acceptance (its negative opposite is Experiential Avoidance) The simplest way one might break down this one is it's about embracing your demons, not judging them: the parts of you that you wish weren't there e.g. the parts that feel like a burden, any private experience you've had that you never wanted. When I think of this, these precise frames of Hollow Mind and Thanks to Them came into my head:

This concept operates on the belief that any emotion (like, especially what Hunter will feel when he looks back on the above memories) wants to be seen and is welcomed, like a guest. Even if the scarier, more unruly guests are welcomed and not turned away (which sometimes cannot be done alone: you may need the safety of the therapy room or trusted loved ones), it offers the best chance that they'll soften and become less unpleasant over time.

B) Cognitive Defusion This process is to help us not be fused with the content of our unpleasant thoughts, but to instead just notice that the process of thinking is happening in ourselves (see the difference?). This doesn't mean such thoughts are not allowed or not valid, though. A great analogy to explain how getting consumed by such thoughts and feelings is: if you hold out your hands close enough in front of your face or completely cover your eyes with them, you can't see the rest of your surroundings. If you spread them out and move them further from your face, you can see the rest of the room. Defusion techniques help you get more unstuck from discomfort and remind you of e.g. you are not your thoughts and therefore not fused with them forever, and other things exist outside of them. Very important if Hunter ever has experiences like this again, so that his moments of being inevitably triggered are less intense and their duration is shortened significantly:

It'll make the ride of being sucked into terrible distress e.g. future nightmares and potentially vivid trauma reminders, a less bumpy one.

Pillar 2: "Centered"

C) Contacting the Present Connecting with the present moment, based on this theory, is to restore control. Having awareness of your senses and being able to be grounded. Instead of being caught up in rumination about the past or future. There are certainly times where the right thing to do is reflect on the past or plan for the future, but during periods where being present would serve us better, that's the time to use this skill. Hunter was already incorporating this below, grounding himself by pacing back and forth. He was in an actually dangerous situation with immediate threats, as a literal survival mechanism for a crisis, so it was on a more extreme scale than us applying in it our everyday modern life:

(my personal method is having the right kind of music in my earphones to keep me totally present)

D) Self-as-Context (its negative opposite is Self-as-Content) Involves being in touch with something called your Observing Self. An easy way to explain this is, imagine you are a big sky: containing clouds that represent your thoughts and emotions. It can certainly feel like you're caught up in a cloud if a particularly tough emotion arises, but practicing this, whereby you become aware you're the big container with these separate smaller things inside, may help. An example of applying this is your therapist guiding you to say to yourself, "I am having the thought...that I am a failure" and to internalize that statement. This kind of detachment can be helpful because it could lead on to further positive reframing, and reinforcing that reframing, as you heal more.

Intuitively I think Hunter could be in this mode (though he wouldn't be able to put a name to it without a therapist telling him) when he started to feel better after reaching out to Willow. Having a good needed cry, he was less fused with excruciating grief:

Pillar 3: "Engaged"

E) Values (negative opposite: Lack of Direction) You get to choose what values matter to you. They go deeper than goals you want to achieve, they are qualities you want to align your life with, for life to be meaningful. One value that will certainly matter to Hunter a lot is based on this:

Kindness/Gentleness. Making sure others are cared for and protected.

F) Committed Action (negative opposite: Inaction/Being Stuck) Taking action to live out the values you choose. Pretty straightforward:

4. Aspects of Grief (especially, but not limited to, Acute Grief):

Searching Behavior

Perfectly normal especially in early grief, even though the griever may think they're going crazy. You may catch glimpses of a lost loved one, or reminders of whatever you have lost, on the bus or at the grocery store, in dreams or in other places. Your brain will be thinking thoughts like "Is that them?"..."That's them! It has to be!"..."All that didn't really happen, did it?" because it can be so painful to lose a relationship (not limited to just literal people. It could be a home or job, etc) that you have to still believe on some level that it hasn't been lost. Such numbing and denial is to provide mental cushioning for your mind, or else it would be overwhelmed. This behavior should decrease over time, but there shouldn't be any expectation of it totally vanishing.

Linking Objects

Objects that are reminders of a lost loved one, and/or which belonged to them, to help the griever feel close to the lost loved one. Usually it's too painful in early grief days to have a high awareness of such objects. Maybe there are other objects that Hunter would want to keep, which Flapjack used or perched on often. And if Hunter wishes, he can create new linking objects from scratch as well, to keep remembering.

5. Self-Interruption A concept I love from the theory of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT). Because one of the seven therapists I've tried taught me about this, it was one of the first few milestones in my own recovery.

Notice that this boi switched quickly from being puzzled about something he wasn't even entirely sure was negative, to bounce back and point out what went fine. While he later said "I miss knowing who I'm supposed to be" which was great, there is plenty of room for him to lean into the agency he has had since Camila first welcomed him into her home. I think we self-interrupt pretty often. Self-interrupting means we restrict ourselves from expressing what we feel, we self-censor and disown the important parts of us that have natural emotional responses towards e.g. being treated unfairly. Society's emphasis on staying positive and not being a burden likely reinforces this, and I'm sure Belos disregarded and invalidated his emotions enough that he'd feel he isn't allowed to complain about most things.

A healthy upbringing would mean the freedom to express your needs and desires. It's also perfectly fine and even necessary for Hunter to reflect on positive memories he's had. I'd say it only becomes an issue if he keeps doing stuff like below and if he is cut off from recognizing his own emotional needs:

(which I don't think he'll continue doing as much: he seems to be quite on track towards healthily exploring what he has been through).

So yeah. This got on the lengthy side but I hope it was informative! Which parts stood out to you the most? Feel free to comment and share your own thoughts~

#toh hunter #golden guard #toh analysis #the owl house #loz writes a meta #mental health 101 with Hunter #long post

[eljohnny117]

HEADCANON: STAY 2005

Random thoughts on what I think about this wonderful movie and this incredible character.

I watched Stay quite some time ago, and initially, I didn't notice those small details that I have now been able to see. Such as the boy asking his mother if Henry will die, pointing at him, the old man who appears when Henry is at the aquarium and says, "he won't survive," or the character of Beth, etc, etc. These are data and small details crucial to the outcome of the movie and worth emphasizing.

Something that fascinates me about this film is precisely those small details that are shown to us, or those very interesting random facts that I have used as a basis to formulate this Headcanon in my mind. So, without further ado, let's begin.

Henry's personality or life in reality isn't clearly shown to us, given that the one he has in his imaginary world is more of a reflection of his feelings and final thoughts based on the recent events of the accident. In other words, in the real world, Beth initially finds him after the accident, and it is Sam who continues to help him. Henry transforms this into Beth being his initial therapist, and Sam replaces her. Regarding Henry's personality or life in the real world, I think that, probably, he was an art student or was somehow connected to art because even in his imagination, he associates himself and other characters, like Lila, with art.

Something I can consider regarding how Henry formed that small world is that it was probably based on things he heard or experienced in the real world. As I mentioned earlier, Beth comes first, then Sam arrives, followed by Lila, and from that point, events start to unfold, such as Sam confirming the death of his parents, Sam finding the ring with which Henry was going to propose to his girlfriend, various people saying things or phrases that Henry uses in his imaginary world, the brunette woman whom his friend or colleague tries to distance from the scene (which Henry transforms into a completely different scenario, showing us a similar dynamic but in a psychiatric institute). This collection of small events or people serves Henry to shape his universe, which is why the same people constantly repeat. In fact, if you pay attention to the scene where Henry and Sam converse at the university, it's always the same people repeating like clones. Also, the crying baby, the paintings everywhere on the bridge, which are painted from Henry's ground-level perspective, etc.

Why did Henry create this universe? Well, as Sam explains in a part of the movie, the guy was immensely creative. He could precisely shape complete worlds with his art. Henry's imagination and creativity probably led him to invent a world that reflected his recent feelings and thoughts following the recent crash, a way to release all that pent-up negativity and immense sadness he felt in those moments.

When Lila says "Tell me the world won't forget me," it makes me think that these are Henry's thoughts upon knowing he will die, almost like a self-questioning. "Will the world forget me when I die?" This leads me to believe that perhaps each of the problems or situations the characters face reflects Henry's own feelings or thoughts, especially Lila.

Something else that interested me was the comment Lila made to Sam regarding that art professor. "He always wants to sleep with the handsome boys in his class." After that, the professor is not mentioned again, nor does he appear in any other scene. He is not a person from the accident that Henry distorted for his universe, so I suppose it's an event that happened to Henry in real life. Maybe yes, maybe no, but there's a reason these details are given. Also, in a scene where Sam visits Beth, she comments, "You shouldn't sleep with your patients, no matter how cute they are," or something similar. Yes, this hints that Sam was Lila's therapist when they started dating, but could this be a way of expressing that "student-teacher" relationship? Anyway, just speculations.

The personality Henry gave to Sam was, almost always, relaxed or under control. I think it reflects the self-control that the real-world Sam exhibited during the crash, never getting too emotional.

Well, I actually have thousands of thoughts, but... I don't want to bore you with my nonsense. I hope you found it interesting that I shared my silly assumptions... and if you didn't... Sorry :)

By the way, what do you think Sam and Lila talked about during that coffee at the end of the movie? If I were Sam, I would only talk about how I witnessed an entire family, especially a young boy, die right in front of my eyes... A lovely conversation topic for a date, don't you think?

Man, I apologize if I have bad English :)

#ryan gosling #ryan gosling character #stay (2005) #henry letham #sam foster #my headcanons #headcanon #Random Thoughts #Nonsense

[cfr749]

What’s your opinion on the Valentine’s Day storyline? specifically Tim being upset with Lucy and just how it was written in general?

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

So I will admit my feelings have evolved a bit on this particular storyline especially in context of season 6 (which I am enjoying so far).

I'll start with my thoughts on the whole five-player-trade thing since those storylines were so intermingled (and apparently that whole thing is going to be the gift that keeps on giving 😂).

Side note: I still wish they would have just dealt with the repercussions of the whole TO/Rookie superior/subordinate thing directly instead of inventing all this sorcery when they could have just acknowledged the inherent misogyny and sexism they've already admitted exists.

We still could have had the cuteness of the group scene and all the plotting to find an opening for Tim without making Lucy out to be a manipulator.

But for whatever reason, they really didn't seem comfortable dealing with the power dynamic issues and repercussions head on, so now I guess we get to see Aaron try to date his therapist instead 😂😬

But at least it seems like they are trying to fix their framing this season by making it clear to the audience that Lucy is the one being wronged, so that's a good thing in my book even though it's hard to see her struggle.

So, after all that, you will be shocked to hear that I wasn't a huge fan of Lucy's choice to do the five-player-trade thing 😂.

I do understand why Tim was upset with her. I think doing what she did behind his back was a problem. Don't get me wrong, though -- they both failed majorly at adult communication 101 here.

Tim should have talked to her before he made the decision to switch positions. Had they discussed it, I don't think Lucy would have felt the same level of responsibility and pressure that she did to make sure Tim wouldn't be stuck in a role he hated. Mostly because she never would have agreed to him taking a desk position and they would have had to work together to come up with another solution. From there, the story could have unfolded very differently.

Tim made a choice behind her back that impacted their relationship, but only his career. Lucy went behind Tim's back and made a choice that ultimately impacted both of their careers.

But, at the end of the day, Tim 100% came out of the situation a winner. And Lucy is continuing to pay the price. As happy as I am that Tim finally acknowledged Primm's role in the outcome of Lucy's detective exam, I am actually pretty disappointed that we haven't seen any actual acknowledgement from him that Lucy is in the position she's in now specifically because she didn't want him to be unhappy.

Lucy's choices were her own, and now she's gotta live with that, but there's no question that she did what she did out of love. And it sucks that we haven't seen any direct appreciation for what she was willing to risk for him, even if he wasn't a fan of the execution.

I had to go back and watch some clips from this episode in order to respond to this, and I have to say it actually gutted me to see how genuinely happy and proud and excited Lucy was for Tim when he got the promotion. Especially juxtaposed against Lucy learning that as much as Tim loves her and wants to support her, he really isn't able to fully get behind her on her dream, which is, of course, understandable, given his past, but still just really heartbreaking for Lucy.

When I initially watched the five-player-trade episode, I was just waiting for Tim to pop up at Smitty's trailer in his own hazmat suit to help Lucy. I thought he would be a little irritated about Lucy going behind his back, but ultimately I though we'd see him acknowledging and appreciating just how much she was willing to do to make sure he was happy (forget torpedoing her career -- she cleaned Smitty's trailer for god's sake!).

Moving into the V-day episode...

First off, boo on Tim for bailing on V-day breakfast (even is she was up late catching up with Noah 😂).

Even though I understood why Tim was upset, I don't love avoidant Tim (looking at you, beginning of 6x02 Tim 😂). Lucy of course deals with it because she does genuinely love him and understands how he operates, but this is something I do think he needs to work on and I'd like to see change over the course of the relationship. As much as I loved their Rookie-T.O. dynamic, there are definitely aspects of it that don't belong in a healthy relationship.

Back to the point, I do think what Lucy did was misguided and short-sighted (and unbelievably sweet). I do think she should have actually apologized (sorry not sorry doesn't count 😂).

But, while we're at it, Tim can apologize for making a major life decision without talking to her first also... 😂

The scene at the end was cute; I like it better now than I did when it originally aired. Some actual heat over "fuel for later" would have been great but it is, of course, The Rookie. And I do wish they would have made the gift somehow meaningful for them to give the scene a little bit more weight (think when Jackson gave Lucy the St. Michael pendant), but hey, at least we got the trophy this season 🥰.

Ultimately, it didn't make me feel a whole lot, and it's not a scene that makes the list when I think of my favorite moments for them.

And watching it back did highlight (IMO) the contrast between what we've seen so far in season 6 vs. the bulk of what we saw in season 5. And while angst is part of it, for me, I think it's more about giving us a story that (at least occasionally) goes beyond the surface level (Tim was mildly irritated! Lucy was sassy and silly!) and explores the character's emotions in a way that makes them more human and relatable.

What were your thoughts on this storyline??

#chenford #the rookie #my asks #see lana ramble #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie 5x13 #the rookie 5x16 #lucy chen x tim bradford #tim bradford x lucy chen

[sweet--candy]

Hazbin Rewritten Part 2

Season 2 picks up right where Season 1 ended. Except that during her depressive slump, Charlie has an idea; redeeming sinners doesn’t have to be in a literal context, it can be figurative. So she devises another plan; she decides to improve the living conditions in Hell as best she can, in hopes that sinners will figuratively redeem themselves by being nicer to one another. In hopes that maybe that will be enough.

The Hotel is a safe place for sinners and demons looking for help, but not wanting to make that leap by themselves. She also vows to improve herself and how she interacts with others, being more mindful of their emotions.

I could also see Charlie reaching out to some of the sins for help, Asmodeus and Beelzebub in particular, in hopes that they will sponsor her hotel, if not put in a few good words at least. Maybe even going so far as to meet in person with them to do so.

She reconciles with Vaggie and Angel and anyone else she may have unintentionally hurt. Things basically go like in the 4Chan leaks for the original plan for Hazbin episodes, with lots of supporting character shenanigans. (https://www.tumblr.com/chaifootsteps/727323399671693312/since-we-have-the-4chan-leaks-of-the-hazbin) The main Hazbin gang has a found family vibe like in Vivzie’s old Hazbin art.

Charlie's new friends chip in and help as best as they can. For example, he’s by no means a therapist, but Angel could provide comfort and empathy to victims of abuse, and Fat Nuggets acts as an emotional support animal. No Huskerdust (Sorry!), Husk acts as the disgruntled, ‘asshole with a heart of gold’ dad to the gang. (Think Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls)

Some Extras include:

I want to bring back some characters that either appeared or were stated to appear later in the series, but seem to have been dropped, such as Baxter, Crymini, and Mimzy. (I saw that she’s in the trailer, I’m just not sure what role she plays in the series), as well as everyone’s favorite news anchors Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench.

I could see Baxter and Sir Pentious being rivals at first, what with their ties to science, and constantly trying to one up each other with various machines and inventions, but eventually teaming up and causing chaos together at the hotel.

Also, Lucifer and Lilith are a loving couple like Gomez and Morticia.

Lucifer is a good dad who loves Charlie, but wishes she’d toughen up, so when the world fights, she fights back.

Charlie is like her dad, but closer to her mom.

Lilith is a busy opera singer. There were some posters of Lilith in the pilot that made her seem like she’s a singer or performer of some sort, and I want to keep that aspect. This is also why Lilith isn't returning Charlie's calls.

That’s all I have for now.

What do you all think?

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin rewrite #hazbin rewritten #as I’m calling it #again. if anyone wants to use any of these ideas as inspiration #feel free! #just give credit

[holymolyineedtherapy]

How I genuinely think 2012!Donnie and Rise!Leo would interact with each other

Donnie: Wow this is amazing! You're the Leo of this universe and you're completely different from all the Leo's we've met before! Tell me, why are you different species?

Leo: I dunno that's a Draxum question

Donnie: Huh... alright then. Why are you the leader here?

Leo: I dunno that's a Pops question

Donnie: Uh... okay? What's with the attitude?

Leo: I dunno... trauma?

Donnie: wha... what?

Leo: I have a question for you. Why are you so boring? Like do you have any interests outside of your tech?

Donnie: I AM NOT BORING! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW MY INVENTIONS ARE MY PASSION! I HAVE NO NEED FOR ANYTHING ELSE!

Leo: Geez, okay sorry. Didn't know the tism was strong in you as well.

Donnie: Wha, What? Tism? What's tism?

Leo: Do you guys have a different word for autism is your universe or something?

Donnie: You think I'm autistic?

Leo: Oh buddy... come on.

Donnie: Where are we going?

Leo: To get you an Autism diagnosis

Ft: 2012!Leo and Rise!Donnie

Donnie: Dude why are you so chill?

Leo: Trauma

Donnie: ... Can I recommend a therapist to you?

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise leo #rise donnie #rise leonardo #rise donatello #2012 tmnt #2012 leonardo #2012 leo #2012 donatello #2012 donnie #genuine interactions

[letters-to-rosie]

other Arcane questions for thought

(just saying I don't need these to be answered in the show, but these are things I'm genuinely curious about and are fun for the purposes of using the show as a site from which we can do political critique, because I'm a nerd who does this for fun and thinks about this stuff for fanfic; speaking of that feel free to steal any of these questions for fic purposes lol)

(also I put some questions on the end of this post)

so, like, what does Heimerdinger think of the whole mining colonies thing? he's been around since the start of the city; was he for establishing them or against? how does all this square with his personal code of ethics?

and on that note, why does he seem so ignorant about Zaun? why is the council so ignorant about Zaun in general when it's literally right there? has the council always been this way?

how did the great houses become great? did they do something? did they have a lot of money like Mel's family? is it a combo? has anyone ever lost great house status? if so, how?

Piltover becomes a global shipping lane. who do they ship to most and why?

how did Vander start his bar? what kind of booze do they have? what do Zaunites have available to ferment? are they getting everything imported?

is Piltover in charge of all the ports? ship trade seems like a big deal, which makes sense given the location. who's in charge of ports on the Zaun side if there are any? (again I'm asking why the council is so ignorant lmao)

who owns the mines? are we doing mercantile capitalism or like private enterprise capitalism?

what do they even make with the stuff from the mines? what are they mining? I have so many questions about the mines

we know the council members have staff because of Jayce. how easy is it to become a member of the staff? are they all nepotism jobs lol?

I'm just so curious about how Silco's political development goes down. he has very obvious reasons for not liking Piltover lol but I wanna know what his "hey this sucks" moment was (love fics that go into this sort of thing for any of the characters)

do other countries in the world know about the situation in Zaun under Piltovan control? do any of them oppose it on moral grounds? (would be really fun for an OC fic)

big one: we see child labor is pretty common in the setting, not only through Silco's factory but also Ekko being a child worker. what's going on with all that? do they have schools? is there an apprenticeship system? is it just regular child labor lmao

also do they have therapists because Jayce sure needed one when he almost got banished and then immediately jumped to taking his life like has anyone invented psychiatry yet

why are Noxian spirits an illegal import what the hell did they put in there (or is it like an economic protectionist thing which could be possible but more boring than the "Noxians have weird booze" thesis)

#arcane #arcane meta #never mind apparently I am doing a historical materialist analysis of the setting and it is very fun lol #gonna need to go into more detail in the future

[theultimateultimateweapon]

Hello! With all the discourse going on in the Kirby tag I'd like to clarify some things. I've seen a lot of arguing without actually saying what or why this is I think a lot of people are confused, I'm going to try to help.

What is "pro-shipping"?

Proshipping is the idea that disliking a ship does not mean you have to be against those who ship it. It's used as a way to say that everyone is entitled to their own ships and opinions and that's okay!

Hold on... why is that bad? Everyone seems to hate that.

While the premise is good, unfortunately "proship" is a term that has been adapted to excuse inappropriate and harmful content. For example, people who ship incest, pedophilia, abusive ships, and more have been using "proship" as a way of saying "Hey it's all fictional, I can do whatever I want!" This is not okay.

Wait! I support people's rights to ship whatever, but I definitely don't support that!

Then don't use the term proship. Do not be a proshipper.

But I want to use the term anyways! If it's used correctly enough we can reclaim the term.

No. The best way to deal with people who ship incest, pedophilia, etc, is to block, report (where appropriate), and ignore. If you believe people have the right to ship whatever they want but you do not support this harmful content, then you're just a decent person and you don't need a term for it. Save yourself the trouble and detach yourself from the term.

But my therapist/doctor/parent/friend said that it's okay...

We cannot expect every person to understand the nuanced meaning behind words and terms we invented in specific contexts. This person may be trying to help you, but they don't actually know how the word is used. That's not always their fault, especially if they learned it from someone who doesn't understand how it's in harmful spaces either.

This is your sign to move away from the term proship for good. If you misunderstood the meaning and you had good intentions, it's alright! You can move on! The internet is complicated and it's easy to get the wrong idea from something.

If you see a proshipper, block and move on! Stop harassing people, they do not need more exposure.

But from here on out, know that the proship term is used to excuse shipping incest, pedophilia, abuse, and more. It is not acceptable. We do not support proship in the Kirby community.

#Kirby #Apologies if this has been done recently I stopped looking at the tag because of this discourse #I've seen a lot of posts just yelling at each other and I'm wondering if some of y'all know what Proshipping is #Because it seems like you have good intention but literally don't know why it's bad #Please don't clown in the notes I will turn of replies if you start doing that

[cosmerelists]

What will happen to Kaladin in Stormlight 5?

[Major spoilers for The Lost Metal, oddly enough. Minor spoilers for preview chapters of Secret Project 4]

I previously made some suggestions about who Odium’s champion might be. There was even a poll! Now I want to think about Kaladin. Stormlight 5 is the end of Arc 1. After that, there will be about a 10-year gap before Stormlight 6. Let me lay out some guesses as to what might happen to Kaladin at the end of Arc 1. 

1. Kaladin dies.

Let’s get this out of the way first. My deepest fear--and motivation for this list--is that Kaladin might die in Stormlight 5. I remember when The Lost Metal was coming out, and everyone seemed convince that either Wax or Wayne would die, and, well, we weren’t wrong. And I’m getting a similar vibe about Kaladin in Stormlight 5.

Evidence in favor: Sanderson isn’t shy about killing off main characters. Kaladin is the one who always survives when nobody else does...and that feels like something that an author might want to subvert.

Evidence against: Kaladin is only, what? 22? After a 10-year time skip, he’d still be a baby! Plus Moash said Kaladin can’t be killed, and would Moash ever lie to us?

2. Kaladin “dies” (but remains as a Cognitive Shadow)

Roshar has its fair share of Cognitive Shadows--the Fused, the Heralds, the Stormfather apparently, to say nothing of world-hopping Returned like Vasher. I don’t know what mechanism might cause Kaladin to anchor himself (or be anchored) to the Physical Realm after death--but it would be an option that allows him to die (but not really).

Evidence in favor: Kaladin did have that long conversation with Zahel about different types of Invested Entities and how souls could stay around after death. Including this quote from ROW: “And if you let a man die with too Invested a soul—or Invest him right as he’s dying—he’ll leave behind a shadow you can nail back onto a body.” Foreshadowing? 

Plus, in Secret Project 4, we do have the moment where Sigzil sees a person-shape and says, “Kal?” Almost like he thinks Kal might still be around somehow. 

Evidence against: We already had this happen to Szeth, and also a major theme of Arc 1 seems to be breaking the cycle--letting the Fused and/or the Heralds actually die. So I don’t know if Kaladin turning into a Cognitive Shadow makes narrative or character sense as an ending.

3. Kaladin lives and retires.

But maybe I’m scared for no reason. Maybe Kaladin will not only live...but get out. Retire. Become Roshar’s best therapist while also getting therapy himself. Maybe he’ll get full nights of sleep and good food and experience some joy.

Evidence in favor: Sanderson already had a nice deconstruction of the hero archetype by having Kaladin retire from the army and invent therapy, even turning down the Odium fight. It would be nice if that arc could continue to its happiest logical end. Also - HE DESERVES IT

Evidence against: Does Kaladin ever get to be happy? His life is suffering.

4. Kaladin lives and will simply be in Arc 2

There is another arc coming up, and Kaladin is only 22 right now. Maybe there won’t be any sort of “Kaladin end” at all--maybe he’ll just a 30-something Windrunner in Arc 2, still doing his Kaladin Routine (aka, saving the day).

Evidence in favor: Surely we need to see all of the Windrunner oaths, right? Unless Kaladin speedruns them, I don’t see them all getting finished in just one more book.

Evidence against: I just...I haven’t seen Kaladin mentioned in Arc 2 stuff unless I’ve missed something. And I dunno. Sanderson seems to like at least one major character death per series. 

5. Kaladin becomes a Worldhopper

I don’t know why this would be the case--but this would just be another way for Kaladin either to leave the story without dying, or for Stormlight to expand to the wider Cosmere. 

Evidence in favor: Honestly, this is again based on Secret Project 4 and Sigzil’s “Kal?” line. And my faint hope that Kaladin will continue to live.

Evidence against: Honestly, I just haven’t really seen this foreshadowed or anything. Seems kind of random.

5. Kaladin ascends

Listen, I know Honor is dead and all. So this is probably impossible. But Kaladin becoming Honor feels somehow...right to me. I think this mainly tickles my brain because Kaladin is called the “son of Tanavast” and Sanderson said that would be meaningful. And although Honor is shattered, his Cognitive Shadow is merged with the Stormfather, and some portion of his power seems to remain--could Kaladin take that up somehow? Become the new Honor?

Evidence in favor: There is definite precedent for main characters ending up in possession of Shards. And we still don’t know why the Stormfather calls Kaladin the “Son of Tanavast” and why Sanderson said that’s meaningful.

Evidence against: Honor is dead. (But we’ll see what Kaladin can do?)

Opinions? Take the poll!

#cosmerelists #cosmere #Kaladin #Stormlight Archive

[cryptidclaw]

A bit off-topic, but how are cats with disabilities treated in Roc?

This kind of depends on the Order and the type of disability, but I would say overall they deal with it better than in canon! I think overall, disabilities are handled pretty well, but the Order's main issue is they can sometimes be babying with disabilities and overprotective, especially with young cats, which can be quite stifling (ex: Jaywing and Dovesong being constantly babied by their Orders as kits-apprentices).

The thing the Orders know most about, especially Thunder Order is deafness. All the Orders share a form of sign language made from body language and a sort of kitty morse code which they use to communicate, not only with deaf cats but also just when they need to be quiet during hunting and fighting!

Thunder Order is actually the best with disabilities, they are pretty accepting and have a lot of knowledge on how to help, train and aid disabled cats. This is especially true when it comes to deaf cats as Thunder Order has been the Order to have the most deaf cats, as the white fur blue eyes gene runs trough the Order. I think this is a big reason as to why they have learned the most about disability!

However things aren't GREAT, Jay still faces a lot of doubt and overprotectiveness from his Order, which causes him to be extra determined to prove he can be a warrior (though I will say they Jay has far more supporters, especially from his family). Briarlight still faces some of the bull her mom throws at her, but Sandstorm nearly divorces her over it which snaps Millie out of it and she actually starts trying to learn and care for her kit correctly. Plus the Order is able to invent a sort of mobility device for Briar!

The Orders generally believe that all cats have their importance and use in their Order and even if a cat isn't capable of being a warrior or doing some jobs, they still are able to be a caretaker or do a mix of jobs that make them happy and keeps them healthy (ex: Briarlight becomes a sort of Caretaker though she likes to help out the Warriors on her good days) !

I also think I wanna adopt some of @bonefall 's herbal remedy ideas for different chronic illnesses and such! i think that kind of thing is very cool and also great rep!

oh also when it comes to mental disabilities the Orders are pretty much a vibe. Healers and some caretakers take on therapist roles plus things like Autism and ADHD are pretty useful to have in a hunter gatherer society "woe a cat who knows everything about this one topic, amazing! this will be so useful to our survival!"

And the Orders definitely have some herbs they can prescribe for things like anxiety and depression !

#cryptid answers #cryptidclaw's warriors au #rise of change #disability #tw ableism #ableism

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Aaron Terrell

Published: Mar 29, 2024

I started speaking out about the dangers of medicalizing gender in 2019. I had spent the previous two years understanding the subculture that had grown around the notion of transgenderism. Apparently being “trans” was noble. Being “cis” meant you supported the white supremacist patriarchy. Apparently now gender dysphoria was a “cishet invention to pathologize transness”.  Dysphoria was something you had to claim to have in order to access your “life saving” hormones and surgery. It was all foreign and confusing and full of contradictions. I felt like it made a mockery of my “real condition”. See I transitioned in 2010. Grateful for the relief it brought me and not interested in tribes or support groups, I got on with my life “as a man” and didn’t pay much mind to the culture of transition. That is until late 2017 when I re-immersed myself as a kind of religious studies student.  

In addition to studying the culture that had arisen, I spent a lot of time reading stories from detransitioners. The detransitioners’ stories weren’t foreign or confusing. They sounded like my own. A lifelong sense of ‘supposed to be’ the opposite sex, and then learning this meant they were the opposite sex and transition was the only solution. Except it didn’t work. They felt more uncomfortable on the other side. Some felt like they were living a lie and presenting as the opposite sex was an act they no longer wanted to keep up; mentally, physically, or ethically. Unlike the aforementioned religious zealots, the detransitioners were easy to relate and empathize with.

So why did it work for me? And what does “work” even mean in this context? I have no idea. And certainly not for lack of trying to find the answer. I’ve now clocked over six yeas on a deep-dive into gender, dysphoria, detransition, sexology, psychology, etc. and I still don’t know. What I do know is there was no difference between us that could have been discerned by a “gender therapist” prior to transitioning, even back when things were “more careful”. The activists who came of age since 2010 are not just in the gender clinics, they are writing the guidelines for every therapist. They are told that to ask questions that might get to the root of someone’s gender related distress is “conversion therapy”. That “trans people” know what their gender is and to do anything but affirm them is akin to homophobia. We’re told detranisioners are just the rare few who were confused and got their gender wrong. While sad, sure, we shouldn’t weaponize them to punish “real” trans people.

So I am here as a “real trans person” to call bullshit. No one was “born in the wrong body” and sex trait modification is not “life saving care”. Some of us feel it was a net benefit, but recognize it was a serious medical intervention for what is a strictly psychological issue. There is no difference between a “trans person” and a “cis person” other than declared self-identity. If you are reading this, I’m fairly certain you agree. And yet, while attending the 2023 Trans Health Summit, I asked the trans and nonbinary 30 something doctors writing the American Psychological Association’s “Guidelines for Working with Trans and Gender Expansive Patients” how therapists can differentiate between a “trans child” and a “cis child”. I was told only a transphobe would even think to try.

In 2021, I began working with a friend and early gender clinic whistle-blower, Aaron Kimberly, who likewise does not regret transition. Together we launched the Gender Dysphoria Alliance and the Transparency Podcast. The aim of both is to shed light on the experience of gender dysphoria, without all the ideological noise that now surrounds it. Since then, we have gotten countless messages from parents, teachers, administrators, etc. thanking us for speaking out. Jamie Reed credited the podcast with helping her summon the courage to blow the whistle on her gender clinic. People have emailed us to say they decided not to transition or to detransition, crediting our content with them understanding their own motivations better. Mothers have told us their daughters dissisted after being shown the podcast. Personally I suspect that’s because most these girls have no interest in looking like middle-age men and being shown we aren’t cute K-Pop boys has them running from the testosterone. We’re happy to help either way!

However, we have also gotten criticism from Gender Critical activists who feel that by not detransitioning we are advertising transition. I would agree with them on this, if not for the fact of the culture we currently live in. The people with this criticism seem completely disconnected from the realities I described above. We live in a culture that celebrates all things trans while demonizing any investigation into it. There is no shortage of transition encouragement surrounding gender distressed individuals. What there is a shortage of is people telling them the truth from a position of compassion and empathy.

I am grateful to work alongside anyone productively working to interrupt this ideology. But just like how I didn’t need the trans tribes or support groups all those years ago, I don’t need gender critical ones now. If you don’t feel comfortable working with people who do not regret their transition, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I think it’s misguided strategically for the reasons I already mentioned, but I do understand it. I will keep writing and podcasting and trying to sound alarms, alone or with friends and colleagues, and I firmly believe the most productive way to do so is to continue to lean on my standing as a “trans person”.

#Aaron Terrell #Aaron Kimberly #Gender Dysphoria Alliance #queer theory #gender identity ideology #gender ideology #gender identity #intersectional feminism #religion is a mental illness