#I think their coparenting left their kids with some issues to work through

[romanarose]

For The Longest Time: Chapter 3

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist

Join my taglist!

Summery: Lorelei meets the rest of Will's friends. They are as melodramatic as always.

Warnings: Bickering, wierd friendhsip dynamics, creepy guy, Santi being protective af, Santi and Laci are so lovey dovey it's disgusting (I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE), creepy guy fetishizing Laci's size, fighting, Santi being a bit of a dick and Lorelei not fitting in (yet, I promise she will.) hints at Will's mental health issues.

A/N: Despite burning the fuck outta my fingers, I have provided this and a dark fic on my dark account XD hope you enjoy! Next chapter will be much lighter, I swear.

****************

It was a long night. Will and Lorelei discussed the various options and what each might look like for both of them. Will wanted this kid. In an ideal world he’d like to be a couple with Lorelei and raise it together, but that was not in the cards. 

Still, William Miller had turned 40 this year. The idea of a family was something he longed for. He had been engaged nearly a decade ago, to a woman named Emily he still very much loved and always will, but she broke off the engagement after his PTSD escalated and Will had refused to get help. It wasn’t until Laci had come into his life that he started therapy and by then, he had missed his chance with Emily. Now, Frankie had his daughter and a happy life with Jana, and Santiago was getting married soon to his girlfriend and were hoping to conceive right after the wedding.

“I’ll take care of everything, I promise, medical bills and all. You won’t have to work until you’re ready-”

Lorelei held out a hand at that. “I appreciate that, but I’m gonna keep working.”

Will sighed. She was so independent, and no matter how much Will wanted to take care of her and their potential baby, he knew this was her choice, including if she was working or not. “Okay, just know I can take care of things, as much as you need to.”

She cocked an eyebrow at that. “You’re a charming guy, but you’re no Tony Robbins. Motivational speaking can’t possibly pay that good.”

How to explain it all? He’s never really had too. His family knew he had gone on a mission with Pope and Fish and he thinks they all just assumed it went well. Jana knew what happened; she had been dating Frankie at the time he left, Rosie just a few months old. When Santi first brought Laci into his home, they weren’t dating and she was too shy to ask why he never worked but had the money to provide resources that social services hadn’t. When he finally explained what happened, they had been dating for several months and felt comfortable telling the story. Lorelei… he cared about her, he cared for her a lot and had wanted to be with her… just not like this. He didn’t want to be one of those couples who got together just because they were pregnant, and he knew Lorelei was not the kind to go for that anyway. In short, he didn’t want to lie to her, but the truth was something he was ashamed of. 

“I um… came into some money, actually…” Yeah, close enough.

She seemed to buy it. “Is that why Benny can afford to be an alcoholic without a job?”

Will knew this wasn’t exactly the time nor the point, but he was defensive of his brother. “He fights MMA and he does well. You know we’re at the gym-”

“I’m sorry, I see that’s a sore spot.” 

Will’s ruffled feathers settle as he takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. “It’s okay. But, yeah. That’s why.”

In the end, they both wanted the baby and they both wanted to be involved, so it was decided she’d go through with the pregnancy and they would be coparent. Will felt a side of relief; he was going to be a dad. It wasn’t the most ideal of situations, but he was going to be a dad nonetheless.

“You can tell all your friends now, unless you wanna keep that a secret too.” Lorelei said with a little bite, making Will wince.

“Listen, Lorelei, about that.”

“Yeah, about that.”

Will tried to gather his thoughts; how to explain this aspect as well? How does he explain the reasoning he wasn’t quite sure of himself? He tried his best. “Listen, these guys are my family, not just Ben. They are like brothers to me and their girlfriends, well, I care about them a lot too. Never had a sister, but that's what Laci and Jana feel like. Ben drinks a lot and fights and Frankie- well, it’s not really my business to tell his story. Santi couldn’t stay in one town for longer than a few months until he met Laci, and her… well that’s her story too. I guess what I’m saying is we’re all very involved in each other's lives. We all have security info to each other’s houses, that’s how Santi was able to get in today. I was engaged, years ago and that break up felt very public. Santi and Laci never fight anymore but the time they did, we all knew about it. I guess I just… I wanted to just keep this… you…” He struggled to find the exact words, but Lorelei seemed to just know him.

“You wanted to keep this just for you.”

Will nodded in agreement.

“I get it. I’m very private, I wouldn’t want to have everything aired out constantly either.”

She understood him. 

“I would like you to meet them, well, in a better way than you met Santi.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him, but smiled. “I don’t know, William. I’m Vietnamese, I’m not exactly jumping at the chance to meet American military.”

Will couldn’t stop the apparent look of recognition on his face and she lights up ready to tease him. “Oh my god! You were wondering what I am!”

Raising his hands in defense, smiling along with her. “Hey! I’m not the most politically correct person out there but even I know better than to ask where someone is from.”

“I’m from Philadelphia. I am Vietnamese. But yes, I can meet your friends. Sure.” She didn’t seem thrilled, but it was neccecary. “We’ll have to meet each other’s families at some point.”

Will visibly cringed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Complicated family life? “You could say that.”

“My dad left when I was 8 and was never really in my life until I had money to “lend” him, so, yeah. I get it.”

“My dad was an alcoholic, so I can understand some of that.” Alcohol was boiling it down a lot, a light way of putting the abuse he and Benny went through, but she didn’t need to know about that. This was his burden to bear, not hers. He tries his best to bare it for Ben too, and he’s already failing at that.

*

It was a little more than a week later that Lorelei met everyone finally. Santi and Laci had gone to New York for a week and returned last night, so they all wanted to get together. Lorelei thought they all seemed codependent on each other and it was all so strange to her. She didn’t even have any sort of help from her family none the less friends. Fuck, her mom was going to kill her.

Benny was coming over first, with his girlfriend, Alice. Will did not like Alice, but wouldn’t go into why. Hell, he wouldn’t even admit he didn’t like her, but the way he talked about her or the lack of discussion in general compared to the ways he talked about Jana and Laci. When probed, Will simply said it wasn’t his story to tell; he said that a lot, and although it was frustrating when trying to put the pieces together, it was a comfort to know her secrets were safe with him.

“LORELEI!” Benny’s booming deep voice rang through the house when he saw her. Benny hadn’t been told about the baby yet; so far, only Santiago knew, and potentially Laci too, depending if he could keep a secret or not. Will had confessed to him that Lorelei was staying with him. Only as a friend, but the cheeky look on Benny’s face told her he didn’t believe it. “Fancy meeting you here!”

“Hi Benjamin.” She smiled at him. She always did like the younger Miller boy, and it seemed recently he’d been staying out of trouble which is good.

“I’m excited to introduce you to everyone, starting with-” He turned to the side and introduced his girlfriend. “This is my lovely girlfriend, Alice McCarthy.”

Alice was pretty, a pale girl with a smattering of freckles and sandy brown hair that reached her mid-waist, even in loose curls. There was a streak of blue in one of the locks.

“Lorelei Giang, nice to meet you.”

“BEN!” Will shouted from the next room. “CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH THIS?”

Benny said he’d be right there, and hurried over to help. Alice watched him leave with pursed lips, then turned to Lorelei with a smile.

“So, have you met any of them before?” Alice referenced the tight knit group, and Lorelei couldn’t help but smirk to herself. It wasn’t that she couldn’t tell Alice how she had met Santi -Will wouldn’t dare try to tell her that- but she didn’t feel the need. Besides, no one else needed to know she keeps a gun in her drawer next to her vibrator.

“I met Santi briefly, and as you know I’ve known Benjamin a little bit here and there, and I’ve ran into Laci twice with Will.”

Alice looked curious at that statement. “Not with Santi?”

“No, she was with Benny and Will once, and just Will the other time.”

“Hm.” Was her non committal answer. “Well, has Will warned you about her… speaking issues?” she always whispered the last two words. 

Alice was definitely interesting. “I’m aware she sometimes goes non verbal.” Laci had to communicate via notes app when she first met the women that night with Ben and Will

“Just thought I’d warn you; Benny didn’t think it was worthwhile mentioning when I met them.” She rolled her eyes, and Lorelei wasn’t sure if it was at Benny or Laci.

“Yeah, well, I think it’ll be a nice night.”

“Yeah it’ll be fine. They can be really uuhhhhhh click-y. But don’t worry! I got you.” Alice promised to stay with Lorelei so she didn’t feel out of place, and Lorelei was thankful for that, but suspicious of her motivations. It wasn’t personal, Lorelei was a suspicious person in general.

*

Will was buzzing with nervousness when they walked into the quit bar they liked to frequent. It was nice to have something lowkey like this place; Ben didn’t feed off the energy as he did at busier bars, and Laci wasn't overwhelmed by the crowds and noises. It was a good place to meet; neutral. As much as he didn’t like Alice, he did admit that her meeting everyone at Fankie’s house put her at a disadvantage. Will wasn’t sure how Benny was going to take this announcement. Laci would be excited for sure, it was hard to dampen her mood. Jana and Frankie would share a look and quietly judge him as if their daughter wasn’t unplanned. Santi already knew and he didn’t really care what Alice thought, but it was Ben he was concerned about.

“Hi guys!” Laci’s voice chirped from where she sat at a hightop table. Santi was standing by her side already and assisted in helping her down. Laci’s height was a source of frustration for her and it wasn’t like Santi was tall himself, but he took his job of caring for her very seriously. Santiago lifted Laci under her armpits and spun her around as he set her down, her blue dress fluttering around her legs. Laci clasped her hand into Santi’s, her engagement ring catching the light when they walked over. 

“Hey Lace.” Will gave her a side hug, planting a quick kiss on the crown on her blonde head, having to bend down quite a ways just to do so. “This is Lorelei, since you havnt been able to officially meet her yet.”

“Hi!” She smiled at Lorelei. “I am so sorry for Santi,” Laci shot him a glare that held no real malice that he returned with an eyeroll of the same. “He has a flair for the dramatic.”

“I thought she was breaking into Will’s house!”

“Sure baby.” She kissed his cheek and he dropped it with a smile.

Lorelei spoke up. “It’s nice to meet you guys.”

Ben and Alice walked in and Laci gave Benny a big hug. “Hi Ben! Hi Alice!”

First impression she got was that Santiago was whipped. First impression she got of Jana and Frankie was that Jana wore the pants. 

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you.” Jana greeted, introducing herself and Frankie, Frankie shaking her hand with a soft smile. Frankie kept a hand around her waist, his hand firmly planted on her hip. 

Everyone gathered around the table, first round of drinks ordered (Water for Laci and Frankie, she noted) as everyone questions Santiago and Laci about their trip. Laci was excitedly explaining how they made new friends. Well, Laci made a friend by the sounds of it, Bahar, an architecture student in New York, and their friendship forced Santi and Bahar’s boyfriend, Marc, into close proximity. Will was smiling as he watched her ramble on; she was certainly not having and trouble speaking. There was a part of her that thought Will and Laci had something still, just by the way he talked about her, but it was clear now how enamored Laci was with her fiance. Lorelei didn’t get it, she thought Laci could do better than Santi, but she was biased. Everyone seemed interested in their trip except Alice, and when Lorelei caught Alice’s eye, Alice rolled her eyes.

When the food had come and everyone began digging in, Will cleared his throat. 

“So, there’s actually a reason I wanted you to meet Lorelei tonight.”

“2 months later.” Santi just had to remind him. Ass. 

Benny chimed in next. “You’re dating!” 

A sigh from the older brother. “No, Benny.” Will turned to Lorelei, allowing her to say it if she wanted too… no, she did not. Will turned to his friends, looking at Frankie for reassurance, she noted. “Lorelei is pregnant.”

Despite the chatter of the bar around them, it felt like silence had enveloped their table, the life having been sucked out. Frankie and Jana immediately looked at each other and Will knew that in a single glance, the well connected pair had said all their thoughts to each other. Santi already knew, and he had lip pursed lips and that ever worried look on his face and Laci’s face showed shock. Alice was wide-eyed, trying to read the room until she turned to Benny to see hi reaction and Will’s eyes followed. There was confusion there, a little apprehension that maybe this was a joke. Will would never joke about this, but Benny’s other friends weren't the best company. More importantly, however, was the hint of hurt on his face.

This was all broke by a light squeal, Laci jumping off the chair (the the slight panic of Santi) and running over between his and Lorelei’s chairs and hugging them both. “Oh my gosh! Congratulations guys!”

Slowly, the others joined in on congratulating the pair, Benny getting off his seat to join Laci in the hug. Maybe he was hurt by the secrets, but he knew his brother wanted a family, so he was happy for him despite the circumstances.

Jana was ever-inquisitive, always addressing the elephant in the room. “So… are you guys dating… oooorrrrrr?” Frankie tried to hide a smile, not wanting to be mean spirited, but this was why he fell in love with Jana after all.

“No.” Lorelei answered clearly. “I’ve been living with Will and it just sort… happened, I guess.”

Benny’s scoff caused everyone to turn to him, the normally cheerful man having a cloud over his head. “Nothing ‘just happens’ with my brother, Lorelei. He is a calculated son of a bitch-”

“Ben.” Fish warned.

“No, no I’m gonna finish this, there's some bullshit going on right right now and he’s not being honest.”

Will couldn’t help roll his eyes. “Well I didn’t get her pregnant on purpose Benjamin.”

“I know that.”

“Then what exactly are you accusing me of!?”

Frankie raised both his hands to the bickering brothers. “Enough!” 

“But he-”

“No. This is a celebration, Ben. It may not be planned out, but neither was Rosie and she’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me,” he looks to Jana. “To us, and I think Will,” His gaze turned to Will. “Will be an excellent father because he is an excellent uncle and friend. And Lorelei” He turned to her now. “I haven't known you for longer than half an hour but I trust you’ll take care of my new niece or nephew. Now, everyone is here tonight, we all have beautiful women with us with different relations, so let’s celebrate, okay?”

“Whatever, I’m leaving.” Benny grumbled, Alice arguing but following after.

“Benny!”

“I got this, Laci.” Alice snapped, making Laci stop in her tracks looking dejected. 

Lorelei wanted no part in whatever was happening. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

Laci perked up. “Oh! I’ll come with!” and happily joined at Lorelei’s side. She wasn’t sure about her yet, but it wasn’t personal. She wasn’t sure how she felt about anyone besides the Millers, and even then…

She looked back to see Santi watching them. “I’m not going to shank your girlfriend, Garcia.” Lorelei called as she turned the corner to the bathroom hall.

“Sorry” Laci giggled. “He’s just protective.”

Lorelei thought it bordered more on possessiveness. “He let you out of his sight much?” She wasn’t feeling well and wanted to puke in peace, but Laci was nice and she didn’t want to be rude to her.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry.” Her voice was soft and dreamy from the other stall. “I know we probably seem a bit weird, but I promise he takes care of me.”

 Lorelei flushed and began washing her hands. “That’s not really-” She sighed. “Just because he’s taking care of you doesn’t mean he’s not being controlling.”

“But he’s not! I take of him too. We care for each other, I love him so much” She assured. “I have my own job, now”

“Now?” Lorelei was starting to feel lightheaded. This stupid fucking pregnancy was nocking the fuck out of her two months in.

“Yeah I uh… I wasn’t working for a while. Not because of him! He was very encouraging of me working.”

“Right. I’m sorry, I need some fresh air.”

“Oh. Okay I’ll see you at the table then…” She sounded sad, but Lorelei was really not feeling good, so she quickly exited the bathroom and ran outside, hoping the air would help. It didn’t, and she ended up puking out her water and meal on the grass over the railing.

What am I doing? She wondered as she attempted to gain clarity while her head swirled. The nausea was genuine, a reaction to baby apparently not liking the food, but the way it sent her back, back to the vicious cycle she had been in college of binge and purge, something she had worked so hard on recovering from… It was all by herself too. She had friends, yeah, but no one she could really count on, no one that stayed long. Most of it was her fault, she knew. She didn’t put much effort into maintaining, the second someone even seemed distant, she was out. It was self preservation, but it had left her lonely. She had to admit she was envious of Will, having so many friends, despite the obvious tension.

 She liked Frankie, at least. Seemed level headed. Jana seemed fine, she supossed. Alice was a little on edge and Santi had made it to her bad side with the gun and his weird behaviors around Laci. Lorelei hadn’t forgotten her coming in the ER with blood around her nose. Benny’s outburst was childish just as he was. And Laci… was strange. She acted like a child, like a doll the Santi had on display. A pretty, petite, blonde trophy wife to parade around and she played into it.

Lorelei took a walk around the building to decompress before facing them, deciding to walk back in the front doors instead of the side entrance she left through. When she approached the table, Ben frowned.

“Where’s Laci?”

Santiago turned around faster than he thought possible before Lorelei replied. “Oh, is she not back yet? I left in there, I wasn’t feeling good-”

“You left her?!?!?!”

“Relax” But it was clear on everyone's faces that this wasn’t a relax moment. “What’s going on?” But they had already begun standing up to find her.

“Lace?” Santi called as he ran towards the bathrooms.

Will quickly apologized. “She can’t be left alone in public, her anxiety.” before following Santi. 

When they rounded the corner, Laci was cornered in the hall by some guy she didn’t know, visibly uncomfortable as he crowded in on her, arm braced ont he wall above her. “You ever done porn?” He looked her up and down. “You’d fit right into the xxxtra small category.”

Benny and Santi were on them in a second, Santi charging at him and throwing him down the hall with his full body force while Benny pulled her away.

“God damn!” The man shouted. “I didn’t know she had a boyfriend, damn! She didn’t say anything!”

“SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO!” Santi screamed at him, going over to Laci who promptly clung to him.

The man recognized the Miller then. “Will, you know this psycho?”

“Yeah, I know this psycho and I know his girlfriend, what the fuck do you think you’re dong, Jackson?”

Jackson raised his hands in defense. “Hey, I didn’t know she was with you guys.”

Benny then walked up to him, towering figure shadowing anything Jackson had on Laci. “It don’t matter who she’s with, she was clearly uncomfortable, you piece of you fucking shit”

In Ben’s defense, Jackson swung first, but Benny did not hesitate to fight back. Lorelei watch as a crying Laci’s mouth was sealed shut, hands fisted in his shirt and looking up at him pleadingly. Santi then disengaged from her, handing her over to where Jana’s arms waited and then headed into the fight where- fuck, when did Frankie and Will get involved? They seemed more focused on pulling Ben away than anything. Once it was over, Will picked the man up by his shirt, Santi opening the door to the side entrance, and Will quite literally threw him out. 

Santi rejoined Laci, the girl crying silently as he poured over her, caressing her hair before turning to Lorelei. “What the hell was that?”

It took a second for her to realize Santi was talking to her. “Excuse me? I had nothing to do with that-”

Will warned Santi to back off, but between Santi and Lorelei, there was only tunnel vision. “You left her!”

“Why are you so fucking possessive that she can’t be away from you for two-”

"Santi, stop-"

“SHE WAS SEX TRAFFICKED, JESUS!”

The words hit Lorelei like a ton of bricks, guilt rushing in on her. Frankie smacks his shoulder, muttering about how he’s not supposed to just be saying that, Jana covered her face and groaned. “Fuck-  I’m sorry, Laci, I didn’t know.”

Santi opened his mouth to berate her some more, but when he saw Laci’s hands moving, he shut up. Will noticed how he doesn’t talk over her anymore, how he know when she needs to speak or sigh.

Santi averts his eyes but translates for her. “She says it’s okay, you didn’t know.” Laci turned to Santi and signed again. He sighed. “She says she told you that you could leave her.” Santi grumbled out, still holding her close. “C’mon baby, let’s go home, yeah?” When she nodded, Santi said goodbye to everyone and Laci gave a little wave.

“I think we’ll head out too.” Jana announced.

Frankie and her said goodbye, Frankie being sure to smile and let a very guilt ridden Lorelei know that it was a pleasure to meet her and he looks forward to getting to know her. Will is forever thankful for Frankie as he rubs his temples, trying to stop the racing thoughts in his head.

Alice is at her side. “Hey it’s okay. No one warned you about it. It’s a weird group to get to know, hard to fit in.”

Will turned towards her. “Yeah, like you’re trying.”

“And you’re helping?” Benny stepped in. “You’ve been a dick to her ever since we started dating, just like you were to Laci!”

“That was different!”

Lorelei was halfway down the hall, keys in hand. “I’m leaving, are you guys coming or not?” Will quickly paid their tabs (and Jacksons. He wasn’t going to let a small business miss out of money because of them.) and went on their way

The ride back was short and quiet, Ben exiting the car silently and Alice only saying goodbye to Lorelei as they go into their own. Inside the house, Will began stress cleaning.

While he was distracted, she took his phone and found Laci’s number, sending a text apology for leaving her, and she was sorry she was in that position with that asshole. Laci texted back a very sweet message accepting it and apoligizing for Santiago, who Lorelei was growing increasingly less fond of. When the round of apologies was over, Laci sent a picture of their wedding invite.

“It’s a small wedding in our backyard, I know it’s only a few months away and we don’t really know each other, but I’d love for you to join. I promise, Santi isn’t always like this”

******************

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16

#William miller #will ironhead miller #triple frontier #William miller x oc #William miller smut #william miller angst #William miller comfort #fem oc

[winepresswrath]

I remain astonished at people who apparently believe that Madame Yu or JFM, upon watching one of their kids have a sobbing breakdown in front of everyone and Sect Leader Yao, would angrily demand who made them cry and offer cranky comfort(okay JFM might for WWX). Jin Ling is loved unconditionally and knows it! He believes jiujiu arriving in a bad situation will automatically improve things in some way! He's not always right but jiujiu tries his best

In my old age I'm becoming fond of Madame Yu but honestly remember that time Jiang Cheng got down on his knees and begged her not to hurt Wei Wuxian and she had her handmaidens hold him back but he broke through anyway... honey. I don't know! I really cannot imagine Jin "my uncle will hear about this" Ling sadly confiding in anyone that Jiang Cheng doesn't like him and wishes he had a different nephew.

#I'm increasingly fond of Jiang parents out of what I think is mostly contrary spite #ok I am editing this in pursuit of my own don't be a dick goals #I think their coparenting left their kids with some issues to work through #like you can tell that jgy and jc do not have a great relationship but it is also clear that that is not Jin Ling's problem #note how he gleefully plays them against each other #still! Jiang Cheng brokenly sobbing in a field about how much he wants them after they are gone #his fantasy about them being nice and everyone getting along #the eternal Jiang Cheng problem where he just wants four very specific people to love him and will accept no substitutes #honey #:( #oh ok I'm going to be pro Jiang parents again for a second and say I do kind of like how they are ultimately aligned in being selfish #enough to save their children like IMO the ultimate way JFM could have let Madam Yu down is #bringing Jiang Cheng back so they could die as a family and he didn't!

[ariestar91-blog]

What is your Life Path?

I was recently watching an American sitcom called Marlon. For those of you who haven’t heard of it before, it is a show about a divorced African American couple happily coparenting two beautiful children. The mother, a well-mannered and sensible woman, some would say, has made her career in Architecture and Design, a seemingly traditional profession. The father, considered an overzealous man-child, is a Comedian and Social Media Influencer, a career many consider non-traditional. BOTH are successful in their own right.

The episode I was watching was about Career Day in the couple’s son’s school. The students were encouraged to dress professionally, so the mother had her son wear a black suit, complete with tie. In the classroom, every student was dressed in clothes that are traditionally considered professional.

That got me thinking about the way we groom our children for the workplace. The approach is not updated. For most of my childhood, I was told the same things that the children on this show were taught. When I walked in for a job interview at the company I work for today, I was dressed in a “professional” ensemble. I can’t tell you how out of place I felt. Around me were people lounging on bean bags, dressed as if they were at a café chilling with friends.

The reality is that the concept of “the professional look” is being redefined. This is because many of the traditional professions are on the verge of extinction. In their place, many new professions are becoming commonplace. By the time those in university right now graduation and enter the workforce to build their careers, many existing professions will already be dead, and many more on the verge of dying, including the ones that are currently being studied in universities.

Most adults will tell you that they’re not even doing the jobs they went to school for, even if it was for a highly specialized profession. I know doctors who spent decades earning their medical degrees only to turn around and pursue their passions elsewhere or use their skills to bring credibility to medical TV shows and movies. Many have gone the traditional route of practicing medicine for a few years before ending up as hospital administrators who no longer actively practice medicine.

Where does this leave you? After years of lectures, assignments, exams and student debt, there isn’t even a guarantee that it will be worth it. So, my advice to everyone, no matter how confident you are about the path you wish to follow is to follow the path you WANT to follow, whatever it is. None of it is going to be easy anyway:

     Ø  If you follow a path that many before you have taken, you will need to work harder to set yourself apart.

     Ø  If you take a path less travelled, you will need to work hard to build that road, inch by inch.

Each path comes with its own challenges. Neither is easy. So you might as well tread a path wherein lie challenges you are willing to commit to overcoming.

The reality is that the lines are blurring between what is deemed an acceptable career and what is not. Following the very profession your forefathers made their own will take you on your own unique journey, because things have changed – the times are different, the context is different, the people are different, and so on. In other words, the variables are different. You may even have more variables to deal with than any other generation before you.

We live in a time with immense opportunity. With these opportunities come choices. You can make any choice – it can be the right one, or it can be the wrong one. There are no guarantees. So you might as well make a choice you’re willing to live with.

A decade ago, getting an MBA or any professional degree, for that matter, would guarantee you a cushy job with a fat paycheck. When I obtained my MBA in 2013, I was in Singapore. At the time, Singaporean companies were paying higher salaries to kids fresh out of their undergraduate coursework than to MBA graduates. The difference was a staggering 40%.

When I finally joined the workforce, almost every person I worked with, both young and old, had an MBA. At this point, we were competing with B-School graduates from elite institutions. They were getting the big bucks.

Now, don’t go thinking that this is the answer to you prayers.

A couple of years into my career, my measly salary increased by almost 300%. My elite school graduate colleague had his bumper paycheck slashed by over 50% because of performance issues. At the end of the day, your career, if you pursue it, will last you a minimum of 35 years. So, ensure you play the long game.

What’s going to take you through it is commitment, consistency, and how you respond to the challenges that come your way, both personally and professionally, because those are the only things that are in your control. They illustrate the depths of your character. They are integral to you. Exercise them. Be true to yourself.

Be a lawyer if that’s your calling. Open a bakery if that’s what you prefer. Travel the world if that’s your desire. Become a social media influencer and brand endorser if that’s where your heart lies. Just be you. Do the one thing that only you can do. The money will follow, so long as you follow that path which is uniquely you. Remember that there is no one else in the world like you. Therefore, no one else can be you or do the things you do.

We are privileged to live in a time that allows us to explore, understand and express our unique identity. You may not know who you are, just who you aren’t. That’s okay. You have more avenues of discovery and exploration than any generation before you. You have free will and support structures that allow you to do this. Of course, there are always going to be haters who wish to silence you.

But there are equally as many people who will support you and raise you up. You just have to find them and let their voices ring louder in your head.

We live in a time that allows active dialogue, that allows us to decide who we want to be. This privilege is built on the shoulders of generations of outliers who fought for this right. Honor their struggle for your opportunity and do it for all those who didn’t have the opportunity or the courage to do it themselves. Aspire to be the truest version of yourself and it will inspire those who haven’t  yet given themselves the permission to do the same.

You never know where you might end up, where life will take you. After all, that’s now how life works. You cannot plan every aspect of life and expect it to work out. All any of us can do is try. Give it your all. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, no one can ever accuse you of not trying.

My father was a hardworking man. He rose to ranks beyond those deemed capable of him, given his educational qualifications. At the onset of his 50th birthday, he was set to become Executive Vice President of a Fortune 500 company, something no one with his background had yet to achieve. A few months short of his promotion, however, he suffered a heart attack. It was stress induced. He had to undergo surgery, and then many months of bed rest. After that, he decided to take it easy at work, forgoing his promotion.

A few years later, my mother fell gravely ill. I was on the precipice of entering the workforce myself and my father had already built an illustrious career, with many years left. But my mother needed looking after – 24 hour care.

It was a call we had to take as a family – should I delay the start of my career? Should my father give up all that he had worked for? There’s never a right answer.  

My father finally decided that family was more important to him, and it was my time to make waves in the corporate world. Without another thought, he quit his job five years before he was set to retire. He sacrificed not just his career, but a million dreams of his ow and those that he had seen with my mother.

You see, my parents come from a generation that believed in working hard, raising a family and saving for retirement. Duty and sacrifice were the tenets of their existence.

My father is a self-made man. For much of my childhood, I only saw him over the weekend. But I always heard him talking fondly about traveling across Europe for six months with my mother and I. But there was always a reason to push this dream – either work or my education or health.

With my mother’s sickness, which she continues to battle even today, my father has devoted all his time and efforts to her care. His own dreams and hopes for his retirement pushed further and further into a tight, dark little box in the back of his mind.

The choices and sacrifices my father made left me in want for nothing. His successes meant that I had a privileged upbringing. This privilege also meant that I could accomplish things that my father only dreamed about. His way of life, however, also taught me about the weight of regret, about prioritizing my dreams and making choices that I can live with.

This is much of the story of most of my generation, because we were all raised my people who shared similar values as my father. Most did what they HAD to do, rather than what they WANTED to do. Therefore, it is our duty to them to be the truest versions of ourselves.

Our parents might have their own hopes and dreams for us. These might be different from our own. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, however deep down, they want nothing more than to see us happy and fulfilled in our own lives, however misguided their attempts at showing us this maybe.

You see, my parents wanted me, as an adult to save as much money as I can. Buy a house, get married and have children. I’m inching close to 30 years of age. By this time, they at least expected me to be married. Over 80% of the people I know, my age or younger by up to 5 years are married. Some even have a child or two.

I, on the other hand, have very little savings to my name, a career that is blossoming, a plethora of skills and interests I actively pursue and a decade’s worth of travel under my belt. My parents are worried about me, but I couldn’t be more fulfilled with my life.

It is safe to say that my parents do not agree with over 80% of my life choices –

     Ø  They wanted me to be an engineer. I have a degree in psychology. My MBA was our compromise.

     Ø  They wanted me to continue a career in product marketing. I went back to my roots as a leadership facilitator and coach.

     Ø  They wanted me to get married. The very thought makes me shudder; I can’t even remember the last time I was in a relationship.

     Ø  They wanted me to invest in a house. Since the beginning of my career, I have spent at least 30% of my annual salary on traveling around the world; I’ve been to 15 countries so far.

And then there are the smaller things –

     Ø  They were against me getting a tattoo. I currently have two, with plans for another one soon.

     Ø  They didn’t want me posting pictures of myself with alcohol (what will people say? P.S.: I’m Indian). For a very long time, every aspect of my life was on social media.

These are only a few of the things that my parents and I disagreed on. Nonetheless, my parents are proud of the person I have become and happy to see me live my truest life. Society still talks. My own family doesn’t fully understand what I or the company I work for does. But the people that matter to me support me, and that is more than I can ask for.

Everyone has their opinions. The only ones that matter are your own – Are you happy with the choices you are making? Can you live with them even if that means you’re not as successful as you thought you’d be? Even if you aren’t as successful as others?

Remember, it is the long game, and each of us will be given our dues at the right time. Live your own life, not someone else’s, or the life someone else wants you to live. In doing the latter, you will feel like an imposter in your own skin throughout your existence.

But I must warn you. This isn’t your happy ending. Everyday, you will face challenges and you will have your own struggles to deal with. The journey towards living your most authentic life is never ending and never easy. There will be days where you want to give up; days where you will want someone to just give you the answers; days where you just want to do nothing.

These are offset by days that are amazing; days that you feel incredibly accomplished; days where you feel highly motivated. Remember those days. They will carry you to the finish line, so long as you set realistic expectations of the world around you.

We are raised to believe we can be anything we want to be, do anything we want to do. That part is true. But don’t go expecting gold stars all the time. Sometimes, your greatest accomplishments may go unnoticed, may be criticized even. You have to learn to let it roll off your back. This is a life skill that we’re never taught. We simply have to learn it on our own.

So, set high expectations for yourself, higher than you think yourself capable. Be your harshest critic and your biggest cheerleader. Just don’t have the same expectations of the world around you.

I learnt this the hard way.

I did well at university – high markets, top grades, quality projects that I am proud of even today; classmates constantly seeking my help and teachers telling me I will do well in life. Like most stupid teenagers, I couldn’t wait to be an adult. I thought I would kill it.

The third day into my internship had all the misguided notions I had about myself knocked out of me. I realized quickly that I was a miniscule drop in a vast ocean. I was insignificant, inexperienced and had a helluva lot more to learn. Since then, it has been my pursuit in life to continuously learn, both about myself and the world around me. The more I learn, the greater the realization of just how little I actually know.

Self-awareness, I learnt, is very important. It is also a life-long pursuit and a complex task. This is something most people don’t understand, and therefore, is a common point of ridicule by people towards those younger than them.

Fact: It is experience that brings maturity, not age.

Now, I am in no way propogating that angsty, disrespecting teenagers who think they know it all are right. I was a teenager once, we all were, and we can all tell you that teenagers don’t know nearly as much as they think they do. But you will only be in a position to agree with me when you’ve gained more experience.

As an only child, I have been coddled most of my childhood, to the point where most people around me considered to be spoilt and naïve. It’s easy to make those judgments. Most people will judge you. They don’t know your truth. And, I am guilty of letting those opinions get to me.

When I moved to a different country to study, I didn’t really think that decision through. As a result I wasn’t as prepared as I considered myself to be. So, naturally, almost immediately, I called my parents, sobbing. My father offered to drop everything and bring me back home. But I was stubborn. I had fought for this privilege and I was going to see it through.

I cried every night that first month –

     Ø  I cried every time I felt lonely or alone

     Ø  I cried every time I had to do something that I had never done before

     Ø  I even cried because I thought my can opener was broken

In hindsight, my mother treated me with kid gloves on, encouraging the smallest tasks that I did on my own, which scores of other people have been doing for ages.

Eventually, I got through it and I came out on the other side stronger, with more experience and maturity, and a lifetime of memories and friendships. There were, of course, may ups and downs along the way – good days and bad. Overall, however, it was a positive experience. What made it positive though was my outlook.

For everything that went badly, for every time I failed, I looked at them as learning opportunities – as teachable moments some would say. That is what truly strengthens you – what you take away from any experience, good or bad, and how you apply it to make your life better.

The years that followed this experience were some of the hardest years of my life. So many things went wrong, and they were out of my control to fix. I couldn’t change the outcome, but I could dictate for myself how I responded to these situations and experiences.

I’ve been through some of the most horrific experiences anyone could ever go through, many of which happened at the same time. I’ve experience more in my 20s that most people do in their lifetimes. I’d like to think that I have come out of them stronger, braver, and with a  better grasp of self awareness and understanding; making choices along the way, most of them difficult, but all of them that I can live with.

At the end of the day, that is all any of is can truly ask of ourselves, in our careers and in life – be committed, be consistent, be self-aware and be true to yourself, and you will come out the other side braver, stronger and with a sense of achievement beyond what you conceived possible!

#bestlife motivation inspiration lifegoals careeradvice guidance

[phantoms-lair]

A whole detective conan AU? You can't just leave it at that, c'mon spill!

(sorry this took so long, the first time I typed it up the power went out right as I finished and i needed some time before I went back to it)

This actually ties in with a crossover of mine that ended up being pretty much the most popular thing I ever did in the Phantom - The Impossible Murder/Acquittal, a DC/DP crossover.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember where the idea first came from (it’s been a decade after all) It might have been me. It might have been a comment a reader made. I truly don’t remember. It started with Danny and Co. being freaked out by the number of murders Conan ran into. Of course, the question of why was raised and the answered ended up being Shinichi is basically one third Death God.

(more under Cut)

When Yukiko Kudo was two months pregnant she was in an accident on her motorcycle (she had no idea she was pregnant at the time). While the doctors were trying to fix her up she was having an out of body experience that lead to her meeting Death incarnate, who had come to collect the soul of the fetus.

Yukiko was having none of that, which Death was truly exasperated with. “You didn’t even no you had a child.You can not be this attached.” He bemoaned humanities need to fight against him, despite him being a part of the natural order. Yukiko argued that he was a coward for never letting himself be attached to anyone, basically stating he would be just as ‘illogical’ and he knew it.

The end result of this was bet between them. The child would be born, only with three parents, not two. Yukiko was pleased with herself for saving her child, Death wondered how he had been talked into this, and Yusaku…Yusaku never said it, but he felt a bit cuckolded.

That would end up being a problem.

It might not have been if he had talked about it early on, but he told himself he was being stupid. Shinichi looked so much like him after all. And he certainly had Yusaku’s intelligence. Yukiko’s sense of theatrics, he didn’t quite know what to do with, but it didn’t bother him. But the way the child would inevitable be draw to locations where someone had died, or was about to always reminded him of Shincihi’s other parent. 

(Death was looking over Shinichi, but wasn’t an active participant in raising him. Yusaku had asked him not to, since they wanted Shinichi to have as normal a childhood as he could. Death took that at face value)

This basically ended with Yusaku vacillating between trying to raise Shinihci to be just like him, and not wanting to see him at all. When Shinichi was 13, Yusaku ended up doing what he always did with his problems, he ran away.

Shinichi didn’t take it personally. By that point he knew both his parents had a tenancy to run from their responsibilities, and this was just one more example. He didn’t think anything of it until after The Impossible Acquittal.

 At that point there was simply too much evidence that something being very wrong with him. He could trace the incidents back as far as he could remember, but knew they went further than that. He ended up getting his parents back in Japan and asked them. Yukiko figured it was time to tell him the whole story. After all, normal and Shinichi had parted ways that night in the amusement park, and once he he actually started looking into it, she knew nothing could stop him from finding the truth.

 Shinichi really didn’t know how to take it. He was still knew to accepting the supernatural was real, him being a part of it was hard to accept. He asked his father to confirm, and that’s where it went wrong. Over a decade and a half of insecurities came out when Shinichi asked about his second father. And as much as he regretted it, the damage was done.

The previous ‘not taking it personally’ about being left on his own was now very personal. Yukiko was furious with her husband, and Yusaku handling things in his usual manner (running away) did not help.

However, one good thing about it was Shinichi’s other Dad was able to reveal himself. After all, in terms of living a normal life, that ship has sailed. Death crafted a living persona to act as Conan’s father and the two got a long overdue chance to get to know each other.

Yukiko stayed with them for a short while, and got to know Death better as a friend and coparent. Afterwards she went to hunt down her errant husband and made the family work out their issues. Things were rough between Shinichi and Yusaku for a while, but they eventually worked through it.

(Meanwhile Danny and Valerie got together, Kaito Kid had a lot of fun using some new ghost allies to pull pranks, and Takagi ended up adopting Dani)

#Detective Conan #Danny Phantom #The Impossible Series

[gaywrites]

Swiping left and right isn’t just for dating anymore. A new app called Just a Baby is helping connect “biological conception partners” -- potential sperm and egg donors and surrogates and prospective parents. 

Demand for donors and surrogates has grown substantially in the last few years, and in some places, it’s still very difficult, prohibitively expensive, or even illegal to work with conception partners. The app helps people connect with those who are on board to build families in unique, personal ways. 

Just a Baby may be part of a trend. A London sperm bank debuted an app last year. On the CoParents website and app, you can search for a sperm donor or co-parent among 100,000 members in North America, the U.K., and Australia. There’s even an at-home insemination guide. Known Donor Registy doesn’t have an app yet, but its website has it all ― donor sperm, eggs, surrogates, co-parents, and 33,000 members.

Of course, there are also legal and ethical questions to ask:

Dominique Martin, a bioethics professor at Deakin University in Canada, worries about people establishing donation terms casually, over an app, without being fully informed about what exactly it can mean to donate eggs or sperm.

“Any app or other mechanism that helps to connect people for the purpose of creating families through gamete donation needs to inform people of the risks and benefits, what to watch out for, and how to get help if problems arise,” she said.

The app’s terms of service advise users to seek legal advice before placing an ad, and to familiarize themselves with any local or national laws regarding surrogates or donors. Once you log in, the app also offers some initial legal suggestions and contact information for a fertility lawyer. But some fertility doctors have concerns outside of the law.

“I think there are many dangers to people pursuing exchange of sperm and eggs outside the medical system,” said Vitaly Kushnir, a reproductive endocrinologist at New York’s Center for Human Reproduction, one of the nation’s top fertility clinics. “These range from being physically assaulted while meeting strangers to sexually transmitted infections. Long-term issues include parental rights like visitation and financial responsibilities like alimony.”

For those thinking about having a kid through one of these methods: would you consider using an app like this to meet potential matches? Why/why not?

#lgbtq #news #family #kids #tech #society #parenting

[reesesxxpieces-blog]

Spencer James

Lacey Sheridan

The hour was dark but it was the only quiet she had gotten today. With Hicks and Brooke on the road and working and Rori being so pregnant, Lacey had a full house for the time being. The normal routine was the girls went with Hicks for part of the week and it was just one kid in the house but now they were dealing with all three at once. Lacey wasn't complaining about spending extra time, she was just exhausted doing it all on her own and working. With everyone asleep, she was finally able to sit down and answer emails for work and personal ones. Sifting through some clients and the large thread she had with Brooke keeping her updated of day to day occurrences, she spotted a name she hadn't seen in a long time. Spencer James was a woman she would never forget. The pair met under the most dramatic of circumstances but it forged an everlasting bond. Without Spence, Lacey wouldn't exist and vice verse after that one horrible night.

Reading through what she had been up to left her curious but relieved that she was settling into something resembling a normal life. The brunette female definitely had a story to tell so the normalcy of wife and motherhood was probably a welcomed relief. Hitting the reply button, she began to type.

To: [email protected]

Cc:

Subject: Re: I suck at saying hi.

She lives! Haha I know you're busy so I'll save you the nagging Mom act. I'm so glad to hear things are going so well. Honestly, if finances permit it? Stay home. Motherhood is a job in itself and far more rewarding than walking any beat as a cop. You shape little lives and get the 100% assurance of coming home at night. I worry about you, you know this. So all of what I just said comes from a loving place.

I'm okay. Busy as hell with all of my other coparents and wife doing their own thing. Hicks has been on the road for weeks, Rori is a high risk pregnancy and Brooke has been working non-stop on Scorpion. A business and three kids 24/7 may just kill me, haha but I'm living. I'm lonely as hell, I hate admitting it but I just wish I wasn't stuck in a really long episode of Lace plus 8 on loop. I need a break but admitting that makes me feel like a bad mother. Sigh. I won't bore you with my inner workings.

Please keep in touch. It's nice to know you're alive and kicking more than once a month.

Love, Lacey.

Spencer James

The day was long with two kids under two, but Spencer absolutely loved it just the same.  She wasn’t sure if she could possibly bring herself to return to working full time, though she knew the time to make that choice was quickly approaching.  She’d been a cop for as long as she could remember and when she wasn’t, she was dreaming about being a cop.  It was all she’d ever wanted and even if she did fuck it up at every turn, tarnish coating her badge the way it did at her own hand, there was a part of her that wanted to fly right.  She hadn’t meant to get so far away from it all, but she had.  Yet now there was a lot more on the line than just her reputation.  There were two little boys that relied on her just as much as they did their father, and yet both Spencer and John could not issue assurances that they’d come home every night.  The thoughts weighed heavy on the woman as she had maintained this lifestyle now for eight long months while her name was tossed around as a potential accomplice in the stabbing of her husband at her father’s hand.  Spencer had nothing to worry about as she knew she hadn’t been involved this time, though it didn’t mean she wasn’t unnerved by what else they might find if they dug too deep.  There was soot on her badge and blood on her hands, both of which had to stay under wraps if she wanted to see her boys grow up.

Late the next night, she woke up to River calling out in his bed just as he had the night before.  Always calling for John, but yet this time she’d be the one to get him.  Bringing the two year old downstairs, she turned on Paw Patrol on the downstairs television to let the little guy watch his show for a few minutes while she lifted her phone to check through emails and what not while she tried to keep herself awake until Riv was ready to go back down.  There she’d find Lacey’s reply, far sooner than she’d expected to hear from her, yet it brought a smile to her features just the same.  De ja vu as she was emailing her at about the same time the night before, creating something of a habit of this.  She drew a deep breath at Lacey’s advice to put the badge down.  She should’ve known that would be what she’d suggest, and in truth Spencer knew that was probably the right thing to do, but she also had a placement within that department that helped keep her own husband out of jail from time to time and to her it was just as important, though she’d never confess that to another soul.

‘Cakes?’ the little boy asked, thinking it was after seven in the morning instead of the early 3:30.  “No, not yet, bud,” she returned, shaking her head as there was no way they were starting pancakes this early though it was his morning request each and every morning, one of the few words the toddler would actually say, though he wasn’t too sure he understood the ‘no’ he got in return.  Rather quickly, he’d go back to his Paw Patrol, thankfully as it might buy Spence another twenty minutes before he’d make the same request again and she could only hope by then he’d be all danced out.  Focusing back to the phone, she typed out her reply to the tune of the Paw Patrol theme song playing in the background.

Lacey Sheridan 

It was another day, another whirlwind for the blonde mother of three. The past week felt like a tornado for the dancer but somehow she kept afloat. She was coming off a mean hangover from the weekend at the Grammy’s and the 33 year old felt like she was running at half-speed. Today she spent the day at the park with her nephew and youngest son while the girls were off at school the two boys tired themselves into a nap in the midafternoon. They were four but still young at heart going out like lights leaving Lacey and her big house with the perfect amount of peace and quiet to cheat and check her e-mails like she said she wouldn’t do. Today was supposed to be relaxing but the work-house couldn’t help her compulsions. 

After handling a few work e-mails, she began to look through her personal ones. She answered the usual back and forth between Brooke and her throughout the day; the rundown with the kids, how she was, etc. Lacey sighed as she concluded the written reply to her wife wishing that Brooke would be home more but knowing it would never happen. Brooke spent a majority of her life tamed by the company of the men she kept, the newly successful actress was at her peak and uncaring how of anything else. She was finally independent. Part of Lacey understood, but a larger part of Lacey was bitter because once again she was less important than anything else. It was an internal battle of insecurity she consistently faced alone. Thank God for a therapist or else she would have gone nuts.

The blonde scrolled down through the rest of her e-mails; deleting ads, replying to other friends around the dance world before landing on Spencer’s. She couldn’t help but smile at the expeditious response from her dear friend. It was unusual for Spence but it was welcomed. Reading through her words, she sighed. Once again, the brunette had given her the validation she felt she didn’t deserve. Despite her being her own worst enemy, Lacey truly appreciated Spencer’s admiration and kind words. Even if they didn’t sink completely, they definitely made the difference. 

Hitting ‘reply’, Lacey began to type a response:

As long as you do that then that’s all I could ask. I know being a cop is a part of you just as much as John and those boys are, but sometimes you have to weigh your priorities and see what’s heavier on the heart.

You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that. Most days I barely feel like I’m skating by with managing my own dance studio, two elementary school level kids’ schedules, and a rowdy four year old who only listens to his “Baby” as he calls Brooke. Lillian and Bella are 7 and 8 years old so for the most they entertain themselves. They are already so exposed to the back and forth, it’s second nature. With the exception of a few fights between sisters I have really great kids with them. My little guy Ryan is my handful. He’s got so much energy and he doesn’t know what to do with all of it. He’s really attached to Brooke and I honestly think he’s got some abandonment issues with her. She’s been working since he’s really young so he feels very needy with whatever little time he gets from her. For the most part it’s a system at works but of course there are kinks along the way.

I wish we could get alone time but with Brooke working Scorpion full-time and involved in press junkets and music, it’s impossible. It’s honestly fucking lonely but I’m dealing. I love her so it’s hard not to want to make things work. Eight years of up and down, up and down. I’d love to just standstill for once.

P.S. – Your sons are adorable. Here’s my rugrats:

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #365899; min-height: 14.0px} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #365899} p.p3 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #1d2129} p.p4 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #1d2129; min-height: 14.0px} p.p5 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 14.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; color: #90949c; min-height: 14.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} span.s2 {font-kerning: none; direction: ltr; unicode-bidi: embed} span.s3 {font-kerning: none; color: #1d2129}

-February 6, 2017

#gueststarring #shortstories #2017