#I think the people who do label their gender are awesome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jalluzas-ferney · 3 days

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Cole wasnt “changed” to be gay. He never was STRAIGHT in the first place.

and hell- whi says he’s strictly gay now? Cole could like girls as well for all we know 🤷‍♀️ uk like, be a Bi king or smth.

The thing is, just like people are used to seeing characters from books as white as a default until stated otherwise, just because they’re so used to it, this happens with straightness as well.

People are will BEG and SWEAR that a character is straight just because they were never outright stated to be otherwise. And emphasis on “outright stated” because even when there is coding, hinting or just blatant portrayal of it, people will still deny that that certain character is queer because it’s not like they canonically turned to the camera and told the audience that “I AM NOT STRAIGHT.”

But to them, even if the character rarely showed any interest in the opposite gender or ever really talked ab their attraction, the character is just automatically straight. It’s just inherent. Of course they’re straight.

And you know what? Even if the character does, who said Bi people don’t exist? I have a lot of Bi friends and a family member that either are bi or are dating a bi person, and their attraction towards the opposite gender has never invalidated their attraction towards the same if gender non-conforming.

And even then, a lot of gay men or lesbians have struggled with comp-het in the past, reuniting them in having tried to date or even marry people from the opposite gender only to then realize they never truly were straight, and were just compulsively trying to conform or believe that they are straight because again, straightness has always been seen as the status quo. As the normal thing to be. The default.

And this isn’t me saying that “the writers were writing Cole as a dude with comp-het this whole time” or smth because I don’t know that. And while I could theorize that I don’t think the writers really were thinking about implementing compulsive heterosexuality into this silly Lego show.

But just like I can’t assure that Cole canonically has suffered from comp-het or that he is gay and not Bi or hell he could be asexual or smth while being gay WHO KNOWS-but just like we can’t exactly assure that he is exactly one of those labels, people cannot come here and act like Cole was ever REALLY canonically straight. Hell. You could even say None of the characters of the show are STRAIGHT because who said they were? You can def interpret them as straight! But why do people insist on acting as if portraying Cole as having a male character a romantic interest as them CHANGING him as if he really ever WAS straight?

No one acts that when a character is straight that it was a huge betrayal or smth because the character was “OBVIOUSLY” gay by default. No. People just see it as normal and move on because that has always been the status quo.

Because this is a heteronormative society as much as people try to act as if making a character gay is “appealing to the world and the general public” as if straight people are suddenly oppressed. Hetero friends of mine or my family will always automatically assume I’m straight because that’s the norm to them. People will always assume someone it het or cis unless outright stated otherwise.

And if you can’t tell what’s wrong with that…

…

And you know what? Get all pissed off about it. Complain. Make petition for “saving your boy Cole” (save him from what exactly? It’s not like Christianity exists in Ninjago so yall can scratch hell out of the list at least) the season was made. The character of Geo was made. The scenes where Geo fantasized about Cole being awesome and handsome were made. Scenes where Cole and geo talk about needing each other were made. Scenes where geo and Cole hold hands and look at each other all lovey dovey were made. None of that bigoted complaining is going to change that. Theyre not going back and deleting those scenes and they’re not suddenly gonna write Geo and Cole in completely different way from what they were written before. Womp. WOMP.

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #savemyboycole #cole #ninjago cole #cole Ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dr #gay rights #gay #comp-het #comphet #queer #queer representation #queer rep in media #geo Ninjago #Ninjago geo #geo

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aromantic-diaries · 1 month

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In regards to this stupid aromantic cishet men discourse. Why does it matter that they're straight? Like, when people want to demonize especially straight men, do they think gay men can't be manipulative and abusive? Or trans men? Are they the pureness in person and can never harm anyone? And why does gender matter. Do they think women can't be sex obsessed or use people? I don't understand why they're all treated differently. Why are aromantic allosexual people sorted into categories. Why do people think aro cishet men are evil but I never even heard of aro cishet women being treated like this. I hate this.

Also not saying that cishet aro men are bad and everything, just used the stereotypes and bigotry that's used against them. Cishet aro men are awesome.

I think it's very simple. It has to do with the idea that cishet men are the enemy and therefore have nothing in common with queer people and any cishet man who even comes near us will only do so with ill intent. Combine that with the debate around whether or not aromantic people belong in the community and we have ourselves a new boogeyman. A lot of people, queer or not, really like to disregard the struggles of aromantic people and maintain the idea that sexual attraction without romance is always immoral and malicious so when it comes to cishet aromantic men, it leads to the assumption that they must be predatory misogynistic creeps.

Then again I think that regardless of whether or not we think cishet aro men are queer, we should not be excluding anybody. You really can't split society into Queer and Cishet because that inevitably leads to people who are stuck outside of these categories. Not just aromantics and asexuals who are otherwise straight, but also people who are closeted because it's simply not safe for them to come out, people who are still questioning, and anyone who is 100% cisgender, straight and allo but still doesn't fit the heteronormative standards for whatever reason. Not to mention the fact that viewing cishets as the enemy that we have nothing in common with doesn't get us anywhere. Labels aside we are all people and putting eachother into boxes does not fix a damn thing. In an ideal world there would be no need for categorizing people as either queer or cishet cause we would all just be seen as people who may have a plethora of differences but are people regardless.

And yeah, your point about how any type of person regardless of gender or sexuality can be abusive or manipulative is absolutely correct. We need to remember that queerness is in no way a moral high ground, how good of a person you are is defined by your actions and not your labels

#anon #mail time

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this-is-exorsexism · 1 month

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not an exorsexism ask

just think you obviously have a lot of negative things to see to run this blog n wanted to give you some positivity

pls listen to your favorite song today! be kind to yourself! eat something yummy! remember that you deserve joy n happiness n all the nice things!

flowers for u > 🌻🏵️🌺💮🌼🌻🏵️🌺💮🌼

also a four leaf clover 🍀

this is so sweet, thank you so much. 💛

giving this energy to people affected by exorsexism who follow this blog too.

just remember that being outside of the binary is a beautiful thing and there is no wrong way to do so. if you don't have a gender, you're beautiful. if you relate to the gender binary in some way, you're incredible. if your gender is neutral, you are amazing. if you have multiple genders, you are powerful. if your gender is fluid, you are marvellous. if your gender can only be described with concepts, objects or similar, you are radiant. if you have a partial gender, you are perfect. if you don't label your gender, you are awesome. if your gender is not related to the binary, you are outstanding. if you are questioning your gender, you are phenomenal. if your gender is specific to your culture, you are astonishing. if your gender is outside the binary and you don't identify as nonbinary, you are fabulous. if i didn't describe your gender here, you are still excellent and you matter so, so much.

shoutout to people who law gender leads to using terms that "don't go together". shoutout to nonbinary cis people, to enbyhets, to lesboys, to turigirls, to afab transfems, to amab transmascs, to boygirls. i love all of you.

shoutout to people whose genders lead to using terms that don't get much visibility. shoutout to trixics, torics, enbians, cenelians, maveriques, neutrois people, diamorics, pera people and so many more. i love you so much.

shoutout to people who avoid any gendered terms altogether. shoutout to people who just want to be called a person. shoutout to people who don't use gender-specific orientation terms. i love you, always.

shoutout to people outside the binary whose experience is often overlooked. shoutout to Black people, indigenous people and other people of colour, to disabled people, to fat people, to intersex people. i love you forever.

i love this community and our infinite diversity so much. things often feel so dire for us but gosh, you all are so loved.

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genderqueerdykes · 27 days

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Hey I love your blog! I wanted to ask if..Can a perisex afab label themselves as transfem? Coming from a point of genuine confusion.

Little background on me, I'm a black non binary and perisex afab and I don't believe to find myself medically transitioning ever..Yet I find myself relating to trans fem experiences more than trans masc experiences. I don't think I've identified quite why yet but im working on it 🩷

Sorry if this was a rude thing to ask, I will not be using any kind of label if it's not meant for me or disrespects other people which is what I'm trying to avoid by sending this ask. Thanks n have a fuckin awesome day yall. ✌✨

hello there, thanks for asking!

sorry for the late reply!

the answer to this is yes, depending on your lived experience; a lot of women and people of color in general feel as though they've had to fight to be seen as their proper gender due to white beauty standards being forced on them since childhood. if you are a black woman of color who feels as though you are not seen as yourself due to the fact that you do not conform to white beauty standards and other people judge you, misgender you, mislabel you, tell you you're not feminine enough, etc. you are having a transfeminine experience (and experiencing transmisogyny)-

race actually plays a huge role in gender roles as we know them and i'm sorry you're going through this as well. i'm mixed black and because of that, i was told i'm not feminine enough to be a woman because i have a large nose, heavy brow and deep set eyes. people don't know what they're talking about

it doesn't matter that you're perisex, but i appreciate you being respectful! this ask was totally in line, i've heard this experience from a ton of people of color, men of color experience the exact same thing in the other direction as well. you're not alone, this is common, and it is due to systemic racism.

hope this helps! take care of yourself! thanks for sending this ask, appreciate you!

#asks #answers #transfeminine #transfem #transfemininity

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fefairys · 7 months

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i just lost a long time mutual over this so let me just say: mspec lesbians/gays are valid. if ur really going to tell someone that they are Wrong about their fucking sexuality label get the fuck out of here. just because you don’t relate to or understand someone’s reasoning for it doesn’t give you the right to police their fucking identity. identity is a personal thing and you have to be okay with not understanding every single persons identity. you have to be okay with the fact that not everyone’s identities fit into neat little boxes. you need to expand your worldview.

i am a dykefag. it is literally in my tumblr description. i’m bisexual as in both a lesbian and a gay man. while we’re at it, i’m genderfluid as in both transmasc and transfem AND neither. if you have a problem with any of that you can block me. it’s my identity i get to choose what to do with it. and everyone else is free to do whatever they want with theirs.

someone using the same label as you but in a different way does not mean one of you is wrong, it means you just both happen to vibe with the same word despite having different experiences. isn’t that cool? i think that’s awesome! i love meeting genderfluid people who have a completely different gender experience than me! the world is full of such variance and it is a beautiful thing. maybe if you got your head out of your own ass for a second you would realize that.

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sophieinwonderland · 7 months

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Friggin hate hate hate the way folks are just blatantly ignoring the lived realities of transphobia. Like this is literal transmedicalism and transmed rhetoric. Full stop.

The notion that you have to use the right language or else you don't face oppression is utter garbage. Fuck a lot of the transphobic legislation happening was sold as attacking Drag, which says nothing about a person's gender identity.

Like, apply any of this shit to singlets and it seems flatly obvious that it's transmed bs (at least I would hope so). Hell, wasn't the general explanation of transness "X trapped in a Y's body" up until the last like 5-10 years? I'd really like to see someone try to parse the difference between that and cis headmates in body's that don't match their gender.

This all just stinks of transmedicalism we've seen with our own two eyes. "You need to use my words or else you face zero of the same issues." Or "How dare you mention how you're affected by this, you don't even use the words I want you to use!" It's all so frustrating!

Anyways, thanks for staying strong! I thought your breakdown of your reasons for identifying as cis were really interesting and cool! Keep on being awesome! -Faye

Thank you Faye! 💖

That's a great point about the anti-drag laws, and it got me thinking about how a lot of transphobia and transphobic laws tend to rely on dog whistles to make them more appealing.

The far right doesn't say: "let's go take the rights of transgender people to use the bathroom that matches their gender."

They say: "we need to protect our daughters from men who will dress up as women to get into their bathrooms."

It's not exactly subtle but it leaves room for plausible deniability at least. It lets them say "we don't hate trans people, we just want to protect children."

Anti-trans rhetoric in many cases is masked as something else. It's not supposed to look transphobic and many of the people who lap it up or excuse it won't feel it is.

Anti-drag laws are sold as being against drag itself not trans people. Bathroom laws are sold as being against potential predators who may just be pretending to be trans.

What all of this boils down to is a form of transphobia that tries to look like it's actually against all of these other things and just happen to erode the rights of transgender people as it does. And because of this, actually calling yourself trans has very little to do with if you'd face discrimination or be impacted by transphobic laws.

I don't know why some people have such a hard time grasping that you can face discrimination and oppression even without using a certain label.

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ikebanaka · 6 months

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One Piece sexuality/gender headcanons:

Luffy: aroace (captain is a gender, right? Oh, it’s not? Well, man sounds good)

Zoro: gay when he bothers to care but mostly indifferent (cis man but like, slightly to the left. He got lost on his way to Enby Island, ended up on Dude Island, and went ‘yeah okay this works’)

Nami: lesbian (cis woman)

Usopp: bi (trans man)

Sanji: bi (possibly a cis man but the uncracked egg vibes are strong. Genderfluid is also a distinct possibility)

Chopper: who knows? He’s a reindeer with no intellectual reindeer peers (trans boy. Yes female reindeer have antlers)

Robin: still figuring out her identity now that she has the leisure to think about it, but leaning towards pansexual and Ambiguously Woman

Franky: technically a cishet dude who is honestly kind of disappointed that men do nothing for him and that he doesn’t care for the idea of making his body look female. What a waste of his awesome skills and attractiveness! But every trans person he knows has decided that transhuman counts as trans, so he’s a cisgender trans guy

Brook: cishet by preference, but occasionally a mature man will catch his eye

Jinbei: elder gay (cis)

Vivi: bi (enby but identifies with the female experience and uses she/her)

Iceberg: gay (cis man (I see your fancy lipstick sir, you’re rocking it))

Ace: aroace but loves the concept of romance as applied to others (he raised himself in bar fights where guys said men were strong and Ace was strong therefore he was a man, never bothered to question it because he had the man parts. Once he learned more about gender he shrugged like yeah okay but I like all this man’s pride and older brother shit so why change)

Sabo: aromantic bisexual, leaning towards women. Feels honored when someone loves him romantically, and is sincerely sorry that he can’t reciprocate, but sometimes life is pain (cis man)

Law: bi, leaning towards men, whenever he remembers that sex etc is a thing (cis man)

Penguin: straight (trans man. Keeps his severed tits in a Tupperware container in the fridge for shits and giggles, courtesy of Law)

Doflamingo: I said gay but he canonically had a thing with Viola so upon further reflection, bi (cis. Human garbage)

Corazon: bi leaning towards men (cis)

Roger: bi except it came as a total surprise to him because he thought he was gay until he met Rouge (cis)

Shakky: bi but mostly into women (trans)

Rayleigh: bi but mostly into men (cis)

Coby: gay (trans)

Alvida: lesbian who hasn’t figured it out yet (cis)

Buggy: gay but dear god men are awful (gnc cis man)

Shanks: pansexual but only ever seems to be romantically interested in men (cis)

Marco: bi, leaning towards men sexually but women romantically, badly hidden romantic (cis)

Izou: gay but at what cost (cis)

Thatch: straight??? But like, sometimes a guy can work it (cis)

Mihawk: being gay is suffering, so it’s a good thing that’s his whole brand (cis)

Perona: girl you are a lesbian get it together (cis)

Lola: bi, leaning towards men (cis)

Honorable mentions: Yamato and Okiku, the canon trans people that I think are bi and straight respectively, Ivankov our queen who defies labels, and Inazuma, the canon genderfluid character who I think is bi

#one piece #queer #gay #trans #i can also see plenty of these characters with other identities #but these are the ones that speak to me the most #and as a side note #luffy would have sex if he got bored but he would literally rather look at beetles #ace would have sex with someone he cared about if it would make them feel better but usually avoids it #and sabo thinks it’s a fun pastime that’s almost as nice as eating good food #also do not come at me about shakky’s previous career #she ended up on that island for a reason and by the time was crowned she was stealth

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sammy--moh · 8 months

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A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

#queer #lgbtqia #queer activism #transgender #trans activism #slur reclamation #queer history #gay history #lgbt history #mogai identity #gay cub #queer pride #gay pride #multisexual #mlm #t4t #long post #queer punk

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monsterpromxreaderforthesoul · 1 year

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Realizing your trans while dating them (Ftm, will post Mtf later)

TW//slight mention of pregnancy (in a semi light hearted matter), crying, implied sexual content

Liam

baby boy is so so so supportive…in his own weird way. You tell him while he’s at your apartment for a study session it went a little something like this

“Hey..liam? i have something to tell you…”

he looks up from his book from above the rim of his glasses at you before noticing your pained expression and transferring his face into one as well before quickly shutting the book and sitting up to pay attention to you.

“What’s wrong…? You look upset.”

“Liam I realized something about myself, well more like i’ve come to grasp with something i’ve always known…”

he now looks Puzzled, what could you possible mean by that?

“I don’t Feel Right in my body…something is wrong with me where i am now. I don’t Feel Like a girl. And i totally understand if that’s a deal breaker for you and you want to break up with me.”

your eyes start to tear up and your composure breaks and you start to cry in your hands but before you can let out a genuine sob liam has wrapped his arms around you and you gasp from the sudden contact and you go to look up at him and he is smiling at you.

“Why on earth would i do a silly thing like that? You know i’m Bisexual right?”

He pulled away from you with a smirk on his face

“Besides the whole idea of Gender conformity and What a person can be is So mainstream”

You rolled your eyes playfully at your boyfriend, you couldn’t be happier at this outcome

—————————————

Daimen

He literally has gay dads, he’s so supportive of LGBTQIA+ people it’s frightening. Like you don’t expect this kind of proud and Kind nature from DAIMEN of all people.

“Hey babe..? i have something to tell you…”

you said fidgeting with your fingers

“He looked at how nervous and Somewhat pained your expression was and he got nervous”

“Oh fuck, what’s wrong?? Don’t tell me your pregnant. I’m not ready to be a dad yet!”

“NO IM NOT PREGNANT YOU IDIOT!! we use a condom every time anyway, where’d you think it’d come from?”

“I dunno, like a freak accident or something”

“Well no, i’m not pregnant but this is still serious”

“What’s wrong then…?”

“Well, I don’t feel like a girl anymore… to be honest i don’t think i ever did”

His posture seems to relax and he sighs of relief

“That’s it? I thought something was wrong you scared the shut out of me”

“Wha- But arent you straight?”

“HAH- That’s funny babe. I’m attracted to you regardless of your gender. I think your awesome and i love being around you”

“Awww thanks Babe!~”

he then opens the window and shouts out to the world

“WHOOOOOO!!! I HAVE A BOYFRIENDDDD!!”

and you both know that somewhere in hell daimens dads are smiling

—————————

Calculestor

You told him at Camp Spooky when you were walking in the woods back from the meteor shower you had just watched together

“Hey Cal..? Can we Talk?”

“Of course romantic partner Y/N!' what do you wish converse about?”

“Well What do you know about Gender Identity?”

“Ah in My hard drive i have memories of talking with Friend Milo about that topic. They mentioned that they are in fact a ‘non-binary’ and in Fact use they/them pronouns, After that i conducted a data search on the web and found out there was a plethora of others and labels for people who have a different perception of self from their biological sex. Why do you ask?”

“well i believe im somewhere on that spectrum you just mentioned..”

“oh my, Are you saying that you are transgender?”

“Yes i am…are you okay with that?”

“Of course! I am attracted to you romantically regardless of your biological sex, you have done that for me being that i have no Sexual reproductive parts. So of course i see no issue, what would you like me to refer to you as?”

———————-

Scott

You told him in a motel on the road-trip you went on with polly, she was in a separate room since we were able to afford 2 and since you and scott were dating it was obvious you were comfortable sharing so Polly was super stoked to have a huge bed to herself

“Hey scott..? we need to talk..”

“Oh no are you breaking up with me??? did i do something wrong?? am i not a good boy??”

“No no no! nothing like that I swear, It’s just something i have to tell you”

“Oh, well then what is it?” he said tilting his head like a confused puppy

“Well Yknow how I’m a girl right?”

“Yeah? you’re my girlfriend!”

“Well i’m not so Sure i am a girl anymore…i’ve realized i might be trans..sorry if it’s a deal breaker for you and if you wanna end things i completely understand”

“What?? break up with you??? why would i do that when i just got a boyfriend! is there anything else i should know?”

————————

Wowee this took unnecessary long for me to write considering the last one was only like 15 mins 😅 i hope you all enjoyed this one! i’ll post the ftm version and nb version later

Peace and love! -Ghosty

pst follow my main @ghostygloom

#liam de lioncourt #liam de lioncourt x reader #damien lavey #damien lavey x reader #scott howl #scott howl x reader #calculester hewlett packard #monster prom calculester #monster prom #calculester hewlett packard x reader #lgbtqia #lgbtq positivity #trans pride #trans rights #transmasc #trans man

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leighsartworks216 · 1 year

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Painting Data's Nails

Data Soong x GN!Reader (platonic)

This was inspired by The Experiment by star_trek4ever on AO3 pls go read it its an awesome fic <3

Also wanna say that this is my first time writing Data and I am also not very far into the TNG series so maybe some of this contradicts idk

Warnings: very very light angst

Word Count: 1745

Masterlist

Tag List Form (Updated)

"Lieutenant, what is the purpose of this activity?"

Data's hand, surprisingly warm, rested steady in your own. Matter of fact, his hand was perfectly still; it was your hand's imperfect movements that caused it to move at all. Heavily focused on the task at hand, the question lingered in the air. The brush swept across the nail, leaving liquid pigment in its wake. Delicately, you evenly distributed the lacquer.. Then, with a relieved breath, you straightened away from his hand and deposited the brush back into the small bottle.

It was your idea. Data, with all his access to information and vast knowledge of early Earth history, knew nothing about human spa days. More accurately, he knew of them, but the greater purpose of taking care of oneself was lost on him.

"Well, nothing, really." You blew lightly on his nails, urging the yellow paint to dry faster. "I think it started as a beauty thing. Humans, mostly women, would paint their nails a bright color - like red or pink - and it would catch the eye of others. It became a form of vanity as it progressed, before it sort of died out."

"Intriguing." His brow furrowed at his hands, eyes distant as he skimmed through the database in his mind for more information. In a second, his eyes were focused once more on you. "Ah, I see. Painting one's nails became a popular form of self-expression in the early 20th century, temporarily increasing confidence and gathering the attention of others due to the humans' limited visible color spectrum.

"According to my records, disputes arose as to who would be allowed to wear nail polish, sometimes resulting in violence. I do not understand this. It is a rather simple activity - how could it cause such disagreement?"

You lifted his other hand and began the process of painting the nails once more. Your handiwork wasn't perfect - small bits of the paint attached itself to his cuticles, resulting in a non-uniform appearance - but the Android didn't seem to mind (or understand that it was 'imperfect') and you were enjoying the easy, repetitive motions.

"That's..." You struggled to find the word as you tried cleaning up a large dab of paint on his finger, the result of a sudden hand twitch. "Complicated. Back then, and I guess even still now, humans were uncomfortable with people even slightly different from them. They built up bullshit 'rules' to describe femininity and masculinity, and anybody that didn't fit into those societal standards was ostracized. It was mostly men who were made fun of for painting their nails, since it's considered a 'feminine' activity. They would be labeled as homosexual, regardless of their actual preferences in sex. It was a way to bully them for enjoying something that wasn't deemed masculine enough.

"But," you added, smiling softly at the man sitting across from you, "it was an excellent form of rebellion against those standards. People of all genders would wear the 'wrong' clothing or indulge themselves in things that went against the status quo. Of course, it died out once universal gender equality was established in... 2037?"

Data nodded, confirming the date. "Quite correct, lieutenant. The Complete Gender Equality Bill was passed in October of 2037, and stated that all persons, regardless of biological sex or personal gender identity, were allowed the same rights to equal pay, marriage, privacy, and expression."

His mouth opened for a brief second, ready to explain the various amendments that had been made to the original bill and their impacts on history, before shutting. You glanced up from your work in surprise when he didn't continue to ramble on.

"What's wrong?"

He was frowning again, appearing almost upset. "I have discovered that my tendency to, as the Captain puts it, 'babble' makes those around me uncomfortable and irritated. In an effort to avoid this, I have resorted to shortening my explanations."

Now it was your turn to frown. "You shouldn't have to do that, Data."

"No? But it makes my colleagues uncomfortable when I babble."

"Don't tell me they cut you off..."

Data remained silent, adhering to your wish.

You sighed, upset but also aggravated. Briefly, Data wondered if it was his literal interpretation that troubled you, as he often got confused with human expressions as such.

"You consider them your friends, correct?"

He considered this for a moment. "The definition of friend requires that we share a 'bond of mutual affection.' I do not believe this is true."

"Okay, then, what about companions?"

His head tilted, searching for the definition. "Ah, yes. 'A person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time with or with whom one travels.' My relationship with the rest of the Bridge crew does, indeed, satisfy this definition."

"Then they shouldn't do that. Friends or companions or colleagues or whatever should have a mutual form of respect. You don't just cut off somebody you respect. It's rude and mean and unfair."

"I do not comprehend their actions as mean; I am incapable of feeling that emotion."

You huffed, clearly annoyed at the topic of discussion. "That doesn't matter! What matters is that they know it's rude, but they don't care because they don't hold a mutual respect for you. They see you as lesser than them and it's not fair!"

"Inquiry: what is unfair about it?"

You barely stopped yourself from grabbing his shoulders and shaking to emphasize your point. Instead, eager to release the tension running through your veins, you stood from your bed and began pacing around your room.

“Regardless of whether you are an android or a human, or an android with human emotions, the Captain is human, the first officer is human - they have the emotions and rationelle to know what is rude or inappropriate when talking with someone else. Whether you are able to perceive it as rude means nothing when the people actively silencing you know it’s wrong! By continuing to interrupt you and cut you off, they are actively letting you know in a passive aggressive - possibly even subconscious - way that you are less than human. They claim to accept and encourage your personal goal of embracing human emotions, but actively play a role in stunting that growth by not giving you the space or time of day a normal human would get.

“It’s unfair because it’s hypocritical and demeaning and, ugh, so very human of them to look down on anything slightly different from them.” A long, drawn out sigh escaped you, stealing with it the last remnants of your anger and frustration. You plopped back down on the bed, laying unceremoniously across from Data.

It takes you a minute to gather the energy to sit back up. Your outburst has drained you of energy. After a long work day bustling from control panel to control panel, reattaching wires or rerouting power, you had just enough energy to have a quiet moment with Data. And now it was all gone. So much for a relaxing spa day.

“Lieutenant?”

You hum to let him know you’re listening even as you twist the yellow bottle of paint shut and retrieve the sealing top coat of polish from a miniature makeup bag.

“If, as you suggest, this repetitive behavior is detrimental to my goal, what would you suggest I do to confront the issue?”

Halfway to reaching his hand, Data holds it out for you, meeting you in a familiar middle ground. His hands are still warm and steady. Your brushing movements are clumsier than before. He would have gone so far as to say careless, but the change in your demeanor was akin to exhaustion, so he did not say anything.

You sighed. “If it really doesn’t bother you, do nothing. If you think they really do have a good reason for cutting you off, do nothing. But…” You placed his right hand back in his lap to dry and picked up his left hand. “I think you should mention it, at least. You deserve to be treated with respect, even if you do have a tendency to ‘babble’.”

Data’s mind rushed to consider the possibilities, and his own ‘emotions’. While, no, he did not feel irritation or unfairness in his colleague’s actions, he considered your empathetic viewpoint. Rationally, there were times when he was explaining something in detail to the Captain, something he felt was of importance to the mission at hand, only to be cut off and left lacking in the satisfaction of the explanation. It was not illogical to interpret this as an early form of irritation or inadequacy.

On the other hand, he could understand in certain situations that his extensive elaborating was unhelpful, such as listing times down to their seconds or stating every single number past a decimal point rather than rounding up - topics he often got cut off on.

Having the facts laid bare before him, it was easy to come to a consensus. If he could round up his numbers and calculate how vital the information was before continuing to elaborate on insignificant matters, there would be less need to be interrupted. And if his colleagues on the Bridge could conclude whether or not the information was vital, and learn to cut him off in a ‘kinder’ manner, there would be less interrupting overall.

When he zoned back in from his contemplations, you were softly blowing along his nails.

“Lieutenant?” You hummed again, carefully running your thumbpad over the lacquer to ensure it was dry and continuing to blow when one was a little wet. “I have considered your suggestions and have concluded the best course of action. From my understanding, when humans do not communicate their issues with one another, the problems begin to increase in magnitude. It would be beneficial for myself and my companions to communicate these issues as I have with you and find a middle ground with which to continue forward.”

You brushed your thumb over his nails once again before letting his hands go. You grinned up at him, eyes softened with fatigue. “I think that’s a good idea, Data.” You smiled a little bit wider when Data’s lips curled into an awkward facsimile of a grin.

As he returned to his room, leaving you with an in-depth description of the Complete Gender Equality Bill as you drifted off for the evening he considered how fitting it was to be wearing a symbol of rebellion and standing up for oneself.

#fanfic #fanfiction #star trek #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #data #star trek data #data soong #data x reader #data soong x reader #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #gn reader #x gn reader #platonic #fluff #way too optimistic thoughts about the future

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potuzzz · 10 months

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So are you one of those Western communists who assumes the USSR was great and that modern Russia is also awesome, purely because your own country is a capitalist hellhole, so it's enemies must be saints?

No my friend, I, like all Westerners, was raised to believe the USSR was a frigid starving 1984 hellscape.

I hope you will forgive the length of this, this is a good question prompt and I want to answer it as fully as I can. TLDR at bottom.

What very slowly changed my reluctant mind was slow exposure to the facts. I was a nerd and a sucker for dry information. I think this one simple study was pretty pivotal in my new understanding:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1646771/

(The third page, labeled 663, has a very nice table that sums it up nicely)

Slowly over time I learned that the USSR had better life expectancy, nutritional intake, education, healthcare, real wages, democracy, mental wellness, social mobility, and even seemingly unrelated things like culture, interpersonal relationships, and sex, when compared to the U.S. and other peer capitalist nations. All in SPITE of their dire circumstances, and the many privileges of their capitalist bandit peers. More humane prisons, less drug addiction. A more efficient and ethical economy, better technological development. Incredible strides towards uplifting ethic and national minorities oppressed under the tsarist empire. Incredible strides towards gender equality.

I do not assume the USSR was great. The simple facts illustrate this. And, likewise, all socialist countries are far better in these critical metrics when compared to capitalist peers. China especially has taken these victories even further.

After the 1991 capitalist coup and the Union's dissolution, all of these metrics SHARPLY fell in the former Soviet states. Poverty, drugs, alcoholism. Life expectancy sharply fell. Depression and misery. Capitalist Russia, while it fared better than other countries in the Eastern Bloc and in Central Asia, was by every metric immediately worse compared to Soviet Russia.

Now, this is where it gets a little spicy: Russia today has slowly but surely returned some of these metrics to their prior status ever since Putin took power.

There is a lot of bad to say about Putin, particularly his queerphobia. However, in the 2 decades he's been in power, many social safety nets of Russia, many calcified remains of the Soviet bureaucracy that were being chipped away by capitalists have been preserved or even restored. Socially, things have continued to largely decline and become reactionary. But many ordinary people in Russia enjoy cushy, dignified lives, ESPECIALLY compared to American counterparts.

Modern Russia may be capitalist, and it may have some unsightly problems, but it is leagues better than the United States, and so yes, the fact that they foil the United States on a world stage is invaluable. Yes, I would support an equally evil country foiling the United States simply on virtue that the rise and fall of empires leaves lots of room for radical change, this is plain pragmatism. But I do not find the evils of Russia even remotely comparable to the evils of the U.S. I also strongly believe in the imminent leftward potential of Russia as a country that has a precedence, nostalgic reverence for and calcified remains of a socialist system, not to mention their burgeoning relationship with China only going to further disseminate socialist ideals to combat the Nazism that leaks in from the Baltic states.

Now, to speak on other countries briefly:

As I mentioned, I would indeed critically and pragmatically support almost any entity for the short term goal of toppling and containing the U.S. Empire. There are other clearly non-socialist states, movements, individuals and other entities I support in this World War against the U.S. I went from despising the Westernized monarchy Saudi Arabia as violent, arrogant vassal of the United States to celebrating their step towards peace with the theocratic Iran, both because I always enjoy peace-making but because I think Saudi Arabia would be an excellent turncoat despite how much I dislike them and nearly everything they do. In hindsight I flirt with enjoying the Trump presidency because I truly think it accelerated the rot that is destroying this Empire whereas another Obama would have prolonged it another cycle, even though Trump was and is a terrible person, especially in power. The fascist Taliban were created BY the United States to destroy socialist Afghanistan, and yet I pinch my nose and celebrate them retaking Afghanistan in lieu of the American occupiers because it is all part of the long bloody process that will lead to a socialist Afghanistan one day soon. I am well aware of the socially conservative and otherwise reactionary views of many who, even as Useful Idiots, will play a pivotal and passionate role in toppling the US hegemony.

Yes, it is a shame. No, it is not preferable. But I believe this World War and the process of geopolitical development is incremental. There will be new challenges that arise after the death of the US Empire, I would not be surprised if for a century after its death we were still dealing with Western Wokeism and the social conservatism it creates as reaction.

One problem at a time.

` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `

TLDR:

I do not assume the USSR or, to a significantly lesser degree, capitalist Russia is better than the United States; the fact is they simply were and are, by every metric.

That being said, yes, I also critically support any enemy of the United States no matter how foul, because quite simply that is the logic one must follow to win a multi-faceted war against a powerful mutual enemy such as this. I also have faith that as the US Empire dies that the natural tendency of societies to become more progressive will resume, as the US suppressed all leftward movement across the world for 30 years straight, yet the second they began losing their grip we've seen a damaged and distorted but always still alive Left resume its inevitable march in non-Western countries across the world. The big tent zero-standards anti-imperialism of today will, after more conflict and reassessment and redevelopment, become the pro-socialism of tomorrow, especially with China as the new most powerful country.

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my-castles-crumbling · 26 days

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Hey Cas, I’m looking for some advice (if you’re okay to give it, feel free not to)

So for reference, I’m an afab teen but lately I swear I’ve been questioning literally everything.

I know this is normal etc. but I really would just like to figure something out for once instead of questioning for years. I’m somehow questioning my gender and sexuality and I just want to stop stressing about it

My dilemma is mostly about my sexuality. Because I could totally see myself with a girl, I don’t think I would have any qualms about that. I mean, sure, I’d be confused but still. And I think I could like a boy? But I can only ever envision myself with a boy as a boy as well? I think I could also see myself as a boy with a girl. But I don’t know if the reason is because I really hate the representation of straight relationships in media etc where the guy has so much more power and influence etc. over the girl and all that (I’ve also had a couple of bad experiences with boys (mostly in primary and middle school, thankfully) not taking no for an answer when the asked me out and keep pursuing for literal years), so I don’t know if that’s influencing my perception.

There’s also a trans boy at my school, who just looks so… cool? And happy, free? And idk, I was just kind of envious of him for a minute before I sort of caught myself and now I’m so confused. I’ve always hated the way I look, but I always thought that would be more to do with not conforming to beauty standards, but thinking back it might’ve been gender dysphoria (to this day, I genuinely will cry when I have to try clothes on for too long and it often just feels… wrong? But I also hate the feeling of clothes so ???).

I’ve thought that maybe I’m non-binary, but there’s not much point in trying to identify with that as while my parents would definitely support me, I don’t think they really get the whole ‘gender is a spectrum’ thing or much else, and behind my back might be a bit like ‘they’re pushing the gay agenda on you’. And idk, maybe it is cos I can’t seem to see myself as… not gay???

I’m sorry for the sort of rant and if this doesn’t make coherent sense. I think I sort of needed to write things out. But if you have any advice it would be much appreciated. I’m sure you have so many people telling you this but scrolling through your advice is genuinely so helpful (and your microfics are awesome too!)

I also saw you were naming your anons, and I might come back with another question, so you can call me dictionary anon if you want, as my favourite thing to read is the dictionary.

Hi! <3 it sounds like you have a LOT going on in your brain right now, so let's try to piece some of it out, okay? I'm gonna give you some sexualities, genders, stuff like that, and I want you to think about how they feel for you.

So for sexualities, I think you should look at both bisexual and pansexual. Bisexual means that you are attracted to two or more genders, but gender is a factor. Pansexual means that you are attracted to people regardless of gender. You focus more on personality (and, of course, looks, to a certain extent).

For genders, think about bigender, genderfluid, demigender, and genderqueer. Bigender means you identify with two or more genders; genderfluid means your gender fluctuates depending on the day or certain situations, demigender means you have a loose connection to one gender, and genderqueer is a vaguer term meaning you just...don't have a traditional relationship with gender. When you say there's not much point in trying to figure out your gender, I don't necessarily think that's true.

Obviously, it's your decision and I respect it, but I think there's a lot of help in knowing more about who you are, even if you aren't in a space to share it. Whether or not you have a label (you absolutely don't need one), maybe deciding on things you like/dislike when you come to gender? Because you shouldn't...force yourself to think of yourself a certain way just to appease others.

I think it could be helpful for you to kind of...look at these terms and decide if they fit for you. But ALSO, it's okay if you don't know right now. It's okay to just say, "I feel like a girl right now." or "I like THAT boy." That's completely valid.

The last thing I'd encourage you to think about is something called 'gender envy,' which it sounds like you might be feeling for the trans boy at school. Gender envy is where you see someone and they're just so...gender. Like either their expression or their identity or just their confidence in their gender makes you want that. Conan Gray gives me BIG gender envy. So if you are feeling gender envy, ask yourself why? Is it because you want to also be more masculine? Is it because you want to be confident in your identity like he is? Either way, gender envy can help you understand your own gender.

If you need help talking through any of this, I'm always here- I know it can be a lot. Remember that the most important part is that you (safely) figure out who you are. Even if you can't label it, exploring your identity is awesome, and I'm proud of you for doing that!

<3 <3 <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #dictionary anon

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fierceawakening · 8 months

Text

You know, I can understand why people don’t like labeling abuse with the name of disorders (narcissistic abuse, borderline abuse, etc.) But I don’t like the way people correct that with “abuse is abuse,” because I wonder if we really do know a bit more than that.

Because like. Abuse is a pattern of coercive control. That’s consistent. For some reason the abuser can’t tolerate not being in control as much as possible all the time. So instead of putting up with the victim occasionally disagreeing or doing random other stuff, they resort to manipulation and punishment to establish and maintain the control they crave.

But what is it that makes their need for control so intense in the first place? That’s where I’m beginning to wonder if we can find different types, and whether (even if giving it illness related names is uncool) cognitive distortions from mental illnesses of various sorts can push a person from “really uncomfortable with lack of control but able to tolerate it” to “nope, I know manipulating people isn’t awesome but my feelings are so aaaaaa I’ve just GOTTA.”

I’m thinking of Why Does He Do That right now, a book that really helped me understand the abusive lesbian relationship I’d recently left, but that is very heavily influenced by gender essentialist feminism and so laser focuses on abusive cishet men, which was not very useful to me.

The author, thinking specifically of cishet men, argues that entitlement is where the need for control comes from, and that the entitlement is from patriarchy. Society promises you when you’re a little boy that you’ll “have” a woman, that she’ll “be yours.” If she’s “yours,” then in some ways she’ll behave like a possession. It’s not weird to expect or want this, it’s how relationships work. So when a guy very invested in this false future discovers his partner isn’t a possession, he can either adapt or not. If he fails… abuser.

I think this is probably true in many cases! It’s basically how incels work, just individual rather than group.

But the limitation of that book is that it doesn’t account for all types of abusive dynamic well, and I suspect this is why.

Entitlement is corrosive. But patriarchy isn’t the only thing it can come from.

If narcissism includes entitlement as a primary defense mechanism… no, this doesn’t make all humans with narcissistic traits (that’s literally all of us ever) abusive. I don’t think it even implies every person who has the traits to a pathological degree is.

But I do think it shows why some would be.

Because you can respond in two ways to a poke in the entitlement: adapt, or double down.

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detransraichu · 5 months

Text

why did i think i was trans? how did i delude myself? it's complicated.

hiya. i'm a butch lesbian woman who was confused since i was 12 year old ish and thought i was transgender -- mostly nonbinary though with some periods where i thought i was a trans guy -- up until 2022. many factors played in that whole mess that went on in my brain and my life. i'm going to be putting it ic because it's ridiculously long :') but feel free to reply etc. i hope stories like mine can make people feel less alone in these experiences and maybe help pain like mine be prevented. i want trans people to be respected while also doing what is best for society and women's rights too.

anyway. here's my story.

to preface, my feelings about transness in general -- i do love many trans people, i saw all the good parts their community has. i still think i do believe in gender dysphoria and sometimes surgeries/hrt being required to help people be safe and happy, but i think alternate routes need to be explored and we need to push for people to unpack their internalized misogyny and homophobia BEFORE they label themselves. the mix of LGB and TQ has created a lot of infighting. with homosexuality it's behavior-driven, attraction-driven, but with being trans it's an identity thing and a disconnect in the brain, it pushes you to change your body or presentation in some way, or ask others to alter how they naturally would treat you with different terms or pronouns. i think there will be more and more detransition stories like mine, the numbers will grow bigger and bigger unless something urgently happens. bc the trans community does NOT or at least VERY RARELY tells someone to slow down the questioning of their gender identity, they do NOT ever question anything, they don't look for internalized sexism in how people describe their gender, they don't do the work to unpack that stuff in their community. and that's just straight up dangerous.

so yeah. how did i get here? honestly i think part of why i thought i was trans was bc i wanted to fit in and i saw the gender euphoria in other ppl and was like wow i want a feeling like that. and honestly in my personal case it was just me having fun doing drag and lowkey cosplaying as male characters i was obsessed with in media. and my DID added to it too bc i would sometimes dissociate and feel that part of me was male or genderless and that's not bc those parts of me were trans that's bc they are a manifestation of my traumas!!! on top of my eating disorder, dysmorphia and psychosis. i really wish ppl i talked to as a teen on tumblr hadn't jumped to "omg you hate your body? you wish you were a boy under patriarchy? you have suuuch trans vibes bestie you'll make the perfect lil softboy uwu" bc then i was extremely lonely at school and at home and just felt soooo excited at the attention i felt happy to fit in, and honestly even my "dysphoria" after that was that i looked like other trans ppl and i thought they were the coolest, i just felt deep admiration. and then i'd show pics online and ppl would hype me up just bc i identified as trans. so then it snowballed into me feeling terrified to go out bc i was scared i'd get misgendered since i was visibly afab and all my friends were trans and very toxic sjw stereotype so i saw cis people as toxic and untrustworthy and i got to write angsty posts about it that got somewhat popular which i loved bc i'm a writer and i loved to fantasize and imagine a sense of justice alongside other warriors... not unlike how i felt joining into the trans community. when deep down i knew i was being the annoying little sister trying to gain older kids's approval and trailing behind lol. the first trans person i met online was this awesome trans guy who did photography and he was a good bit older and i just wanted to look like him so bad so that he would like me. he ended up ghosting me. but i was still obsessed w him so i looked up trans stuff and fell in head first without even a questioning phase :/ which is 100% on me of course! i was just a very impulsive kid and the trans ppl around me lived in this big colorful world full of identities and drama and unconditional support... but i do wish someone had slowed me down and showed me alternate paths, the path of just being gnc.

i was also like. okay i know i'm queer but idk how, but i want to be in this community bc i'm so lonely (as a baby dyke). so i looked at the most opposite identity ever and gay trans man was the furthest away i could go from myself & my gay attraction & my body & my female masculinity. i was constantly dissociated, constantly. i was living in my yaoi fantasies lol like the "perfect" romance bc it wasn't hetero stuff which had scary power dynamics, and it also wasn't lesbian bc that hit too close to home and i'd start to have panic attacks. so i avoided those, tho sometimes i'd read fanfics w a side lesbian relationship.... but pretended to hate them and not care at all. that was actually part of me accepting my attraction to women, like moving slowly over to lesbian ships in fanfics and finally seeing what it would be like. it felt too good. so then i repressed it again or only showed my lesbian attraction when flirting with men online lol. bc of course there needed to be a voyeur, otherwise it's too real and gross and bad. tfw trauma and internalized lesbophobia.

but yeah anyway me obsessing over yaoi really made me think of boys very fondly -- always boys, never men -- and feel this deep warm happy feeling in my stomach. thinking of two boys together was total equality bc there was no woman involved, so no misogyny or weird "too real" feelings. if it had a woman i'd eventually have a total freakout bc i would keep pretending i was the guy in that scenario, which was BAD bc it made me sound like a DYKE. and boys had an actual personality (bc there very few genuine complex female characters at the time so they were all dumb or mean or bland) and they could do sooo much more than girls could so they were Better somehow. but of course if u say boys are better you're a misogynist, so i wanted to BE a boy so i could talk about how much i loved boys. and i loved boys bc i admired them. i wished i could be a "more male" version of a girl. i wanted to embody maleness so that i could create myself a better girlhood. and not even call it girlhood, so it was even cooler. i didn't want to be like the other girls, who were all loser straight boy crazy bullies. or even if there were cool girls with me, they would just annoy me (bc i was always depressed and exhausted from mental illness and untreated disabilities and it made me irritable). so yeah. boys were it. specifically boys bc men sounded almost triggering from my misogyny trauma. like men are the kind that hurt you. but boys are soft and sweet and special and harmless. they're the right kind of male person. the good ones. and they have such vivid relationships with one another and are such complex beings, unlike girls. and now that i'm a boy i'm gonna be the boy with the best morals and no toxic masculinity whatsoever, just a soft little uwu bean with a soft beautiful very typically girly flat chest, like an afab person before puberty, and no facial hair of course except for maybe a slightly lower voice and less fat (i thought it was good riddance at the time bc i was anorexic lol so that just reinforced it). i had this perfect image of myself. but it was always wavering, so i would never feel fully secure in my gender identity but i also couldn't lose my grip and question that i'm not nonbinary/trans bc then i'll have to accept that i'm an afab lesbian with a boring ass female gender. and i would have to disappoint everybody, and worst of all make them look bad for detransitioning.

but yeah.... i actually am feeling less bad abt just being a bland woman. like i don't need to be special, i can blend in and people won't hurt me bc i'm a loser like in highschool. normality and domesticity are blissful actually, like i'm Just A Girl and i'm basic af or whatever. but there's other boring, gnc girls, and they're cool but they're also in the highschool situation of being "not the kind of girl that gets asked out and family is kinda broke and not noticeably pretty and has failing grades and untreated disorders so therefore an even bigger loser." so yeah i wanted to be different. to be noticed and thought about, and go against the grain. ie, cishet normative things. usually secretly, but then at some point i came out to my family and they got transphobic but also just said gross things to me that made it so that even if i had been wobbly on my identity i now didn't trust them to talk about it so i just repressed feelings and held onto a trans identity even harder. but then i started thinking of girls a LOT and envying lesbian women. who didn't have to worry about gender stuff, and also got to be gay in a way that... suddenly i noticed could be cool too. i had never allowed myself to notice it. but then i did. and i freaked out bc i was dating someone who wasn't a woman kgdkjgk and it felt transphobic af so i just resolved myself that i MUST be trans.

i was deep in the closet lesbian-wise and my brain tricked itself bc i just wasn't ready to accept being a lesbian. i just wasn't. i've only become ready this year!! and that's around the time that my ex broke up w me (or well we both came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian so being w them would be wrong, and that it turns out they're only into men/enbies). and then i tried to be nonbinary again bc i wanted to get back w them so bad but then i realized it just wasn't me, and i started getting comfy w gay womanhood. and i came to terms with being a single butch lesbian!!! i'm so much better now that i'm radically accepting myself. it was a LOOONG stressful upsetting journey bc i wasn't being myself. but now i am being myself. and i'm clumsy af and kinda dumb and SUUUUPER inexperienced as both a girl loving girls and also just an adult woman in general. like being an adult woman is HARD and idk what i'm doing and i'm barely scraping by and i'm so behind everyone else. but now i gotta deal with it, actually deal with my issues :/ no more internalized lesbophobia & misogyny!! society often defeminizes girls like me and takes womanhood away from marginalized women but no!!! i'm still a woman. i'm weird but i'm just a weird woman and that's fine. some girls are freaks and weirdos and something different but not the differences that were considered "cool" on leftist tumblr as whichever community is most oppressed and has the most funky flags and ultra-microlabels. and i'm sorry to say, it's embarrassing as hell. but i did fetishize transness. i did think of trans people as unironically cooler than regular non-bigoted close-minded cis people, more interesting, better morality, cooler, smarter, etc. and i wanted to make friends and trans/enby online communities were super vibrant in fandom spaces that i was in. so yup. there it is. i'm a trans faker actually, though i was super out of it during it all, i wasn't doing it consciously. i just was ignoring my true identity, being a butch lesbian woman. it's so sad that i felt the need to repress myself like this, it breaks my own heart to think about it. but i did repress myself. i was soooo cruel to myself and was bigoted towards myself. but never again. never again!!! nope sir!!!

another thing -- i think i also used having a trans/nonbinary identity as a way to have an excuse to go no-contact with my abusive family. i was told they were bigots for being vaguely supportive but confused about trans stuff and struggling with the vocabulary and sudden identity discourse, asking embarrassing questions (that i had no answers for bc i wasn’t actually trans but ofc real trans people would) when i told them i was a boy so i get to use that as a reason not to talk to them. bc otherwise they just would never leave me alone. at least that’s how i rationalized it lol. so yeah. here i am. a complete doofus, with very little bit of stubble coming out of my chin that i have to shave daily. and a slightly transmasc-typical voice. i completely blew it, i repressed being a lesbian soooo deeply even though my family wasn't even that homophobic, all things considered, so i definitely could've lived as my true self. i was just ashamed and stubborn and believed all the things in the media and from homophobes. and thought ppl would be scared of me bc the only other lesbian in school was a creep. idk. it's all so embarrassing. but there ya go.

#lay text #my journey #detrans #detransition #radfem #gender critical #ok to rb

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elvenlace · 9 months

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Hello to all ye who enter!

I AM ABROSEXUAL (look it up, but basically it means I'm fluid in what I am attracted to)|I am a transfemme polygender demiboy enby gurl/boything mess of a queer|PRO COMPLICATED SHIPS AND SHIPPING IN GENERAL, EXCEPT FOR RAPE OR PEDOPHiLIC SHIPS|TRANS "CHASER" SUPPORTER. LOVER OF THOSE WHO ARE PURELY ATTRACTED TO TRANS PEOPLE, NO MATTER THEIR GENDER!

Please feel free to reblog any of my posts. 😊

Yo, I have a CashApp ($ElvenLace) and a PayPal (ElvenLace), and it would be awesome if you had money to spare and maybe sent it my way. I'm living off of SSI and getting payed once a month, barely surviving most months so, any money helps.

Most tags I use are in the tags of this post, will add more soon. Please let me know if you would like me to tag a certain thing a certain way.

More under the cut:

So, this is going to be my pinned post, for some info about me:

• I am 22 years into maturity

• I am a queer transfemme butch switch bitch (sub leaning). My pronouns are She/They and I am attempting to navigate my gender even today. Questioning it a lot as of recently.

• Even tho I am abrosexual, I prefer fluxsexual because it's my own label and it's more comforting. So, ask me anything if stuff is confusing.

• I am open about my kinks and sexual-ness, just ask. I also have very few limits, as seen below. Just ask if I'm okay with it, and I'll let you know.

• I have autism, struggle with depression, and social anxiety. So please be patient with me, AND DIRECT.

My hard limits are as follows:

Some of my harder kinks;

• CNC - r4p3pl4y, intox, dubious con

• watersports

• incest, twincest

• I have too many to remember

• (will add more as I think of them)

• Smoking (weed can be an exception)

• Scat and vomiting

• heavy gore (bruising, biting, scratching, blood, cuts do turn me on to an extent. Still rarer for me to feel anything for some of these.) (Thinking things over and exploring more of myself, so this may change further.)

• raceplay

• ageplay

• ABDL

• Diapers of any kind in kink, not the right place for it

• detransitioning

• sissy, and DO NOT CALL ME ONE

• Slurs

• Certain degradation such as fat shaming

• more to add later

My asks and DMs are open to anyone, so long as you are not rude, transphobic, a TERF, or transmed/truscum. If you're rude, negatively nasty, or just down right hateful then your ass is getting blocked.

I am polyamorous, and open. I'm not looking for anybody right now, but I don't mind being sexual or flirty. Just get to know me first. That and, who knows, maybe more can come of it.

I add that I am transgender, because I am proud to be so, and it is part of my identity just as much as being a girl is.

I have D.I.D and want to explore opening up about it more on my blog but, don't know where to start. Plurals or systems, please help?

I have quite a bit going on about me medically. It's a fascination of mine to learn more about the medical stuff happening in my body. I am in no way a professional, nor can I help you with your medical issues.

Some of those medical issues include: Autism, D.I.D, gall stones, scoliosis, kyphosis, fibromyalgia, flat footed, rheumatoid arthritis, restless leg syndrome, hypothyroidism. Feel free to look any of these up if you're curious to learn more.

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candyheartedchy · 8 months

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sorry, my last ask was already pretty long but i forgot to add this and felt like this was also important. as someone who tried delving into specific microlabels and spiraled into a rabbithole bc of it for A While, i also wanna say that it's ok to just go with broader labels. it's ok to just say maybe you're mspec (umbrella term for being attracted to more than one gender) instead of elaborating if you're bi or other specific kinds of mspec. (i'm using bi as an example bc that's what i use for myself rn, not to be dismissive of the other labels.) it's okay to just say you're on the aro spectrum instead of specifying if you're demi or ficto or etc. if you feel like none of them stick perfectly. it's ok to just call yourself unlabeled or genderqueer or a secret third option instead of specifying if you're cis or trans. contrary to what some people might think, there is no dichotomy, no "if you are not X then that means you must be Y."

of course, if you find that microlabels work for you, that's awesome! i'm again just trying to provide a perspective of "it's not a must". it's ok to be like, vague with it sometimes. and i'd argue that trying to be too specific with it might end up stressing yourself out unnecessarily. it's not a bad thing to be specific, but i've just seen people give themselves a hard time for not doing that and i wanna say it's ok! :}

anyway, i don't want to come off as like someone only saying what not to do so if it helps: my fictional crushes and going by other pronouns are def what clued me into my own IDs in the first place. ever since i was a kid i have crushes on anyone (when it comes to characters), girls included! that clued me into the fact that maybe i'm not straight IRL. when i was a teen i figured i liked presenting masculine and neutral sometimes, and i went by genderfluid for a while. that didn't entirely feel accurate to me so i dropped it, and now i just say i'm trans and nb and leave it at that for the most part.

Don’t apologize, it means a lot that you’re reaching out and helping me about this!

The thing is that I never really used labels before, like ever, and honestly I wasn’t sure if I needed to because my attraction to folks (real and fictional) has always been all over the place and confusing. And not gonna lie, I been looking for a name for years to figure out what I would be called, but like you said, it’s like a rabbit hole.

And it’s great that your fiction crushes help to understand your attraction better and that you were able to go with what felt natural to you! Because that’s what I struggle with is being true to myself, so I appreciate you helping 💗

#💌 letters 💌#wexlrmcgill

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