#I think the first 3 were *trying* to reference that ‘some of the true self exists in the false self’ meme with the dinosaurs and the chicken

[leighsartworks216]

Moon Blood

Astarion x gn/fem!Tav/Reader

(Basically anybody who experiences periods can read this I just don't know what to tag it as)

Tav is described as having irregular periods and a heavy flow, which I know doesn't really leave it open to everyone. But it's true to my experience, so I'm sure some other irregular-period people can also appreciate this

(Also it's just a really self-indulgent story I wrote for me lmao)

Warnings: blood, blood drinking, period fic, references to sex, swearing

Word Count: 1,210

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

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You roll over in your bedroll again, groaning as quietly as you could as you clutch at your abdomen. An aching pain roiled just below your belly. And there it seemed determined to stay for however long it deemed fit.

Your moon bloods were always a shock - you never knew when they would happen and you never knew how long they would last, because the gods seem to think it’s funny to make it so relentlessly inconsistent. Not to mention how heavy they could be. After everything you’ve faced on your perilous journey so far, this was the fucking worst.

The pain rises to a peak. All you can do is curl in on yourself, hugging your stomach as tight as possible to will the pain away. Does it help? No. But there’s nothing else that could… Well…

You feel like an idiot when you knock on the wooden post outside Astarion’s tent. You were pretty sure he already knew of your problem, if the restlessness whenever he was near was any indication. You couldn’t imagine the temptation, but you could admire his resolve. That wasn’t why you were here.

He calls a muffled ‘Come in’ and you push aside the canvas door. You see the change instantly. The way his eyes darken with the scent of blood, his smirk more predatory than usual. You begin to wonder if this was a bad idea.

“Hello, darling,” he purrs, low and seductive. His book is set aside in favor of standing to greet you in the small space. His hands slide around your waist, nails pressing lightly into your spine. He leans down, pressing his nose to your pulse as he whispers, “You smell delicious.”

You clear your throat. “As tempting as that is…” You step back slightly, and he doesn’t try to stop you. Instead, he pulls his face from your neck and rests his hands at your sides. One more step and he would let you go entirely. “I just want to cuddle.”

He huffs, face scrunching in annoyance. “You come in here with a banquet between your legs, and all you want is to cuddle?” The irritation can hardly be read as genuine when his thumbs begin to rub circles into your hips soothingly.

“Mhm. My cramps and back are killing me,” you explain. You gesture back outside the tent. “I could go ask Gale, if you think you’ll be too tempted.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he hisses, but it’s an empty threat.

He pulls you with him back to the pile of pillows he was lounging in before, sitting down and leaning comfortably against the pile. You stopped, standing just before him, even as he nudged your hip toward him, silently telling you he was ready for you to join him.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright with…” You don’t know how to phrase it in a way that doesn’t sound strange. But your need to make sure he is comfortable wins out above everything else. “With smelling the blood all night?”

His eyes soften as he smiles. The tinge of animalistic hunger still lingers behind it, but your dismissal of his preposition has pushed it toward the back, almost entirely hidden. “I’ll be alright. I’m not starved enough to lash out at any moment, I swear.”

You frown. “You know that’s not what I’m worried about.”

He chuckles despite your scolding. “I know.” You give him a pointed look and he rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Yes, dear, I’ll be alright smelling your blood all night. Now are you going to stand there all night?”

Assured in his comfort, you finally lay down, draping yourself over him, legs slotting between each other and arms holding each other close, and your head resting on his chest. The first few times you cuddled like this, you were worried your weight would make him uncomfortable, or worse, remind him of his 200 years of abuse. But he insisted, when he didn’t want to be cradled to your chest, of course.

He rests a hand at your lower back and begins working his fingers into the aching muscles there. You sigh and relax further into him. He doesn’t need air, but his chest still rises and falls with slow breaths. It’s disconcerting without a heartbeat to accompany it, or it would be if it was anybody else. But it’s Astarion, and instead the sound of his breathing alone was soothing.

You rest there for a moment, eyes closed. The position you’ve taken eases some of the pain, hand-in-hand with Astarion’s nimble touch. For now, the pain is a little more bearable.

You lift your head to look at him. He’s already looking at you, soft and at ease, eyes round with affection. “If you want to, you can eat,” you tell him. You jump to add, “From my neck.”

He chuckles. “Thank you for clarifying,” he teases.

“Well, like you said, I’m here with a banquet. I don’t want you to suffer just because I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m hardly suffering, dear,” he assures. “But I will take you up on your offer.”

You smile as you tilt your head, exposing your neck to him. He sits up, shifting you as he does until you’re eye-to-eye, before he buries his face against the nearly-faded marks he’s left. He continues to rub your back as he uses his free hand to cup the back of your head, keeping you in place and steady. He takes his time to press kisses all around his target. Your moon blood makes you taste sweeter; your skin smells so enticing. But he can savor it later.

You only get two warnings he’s about to bite: the hand holding your head tangles its fingers in your hair, holding you more firmly in place, though still being gentle about it; and the flat of his tongue running along the old punctures.

The sharp pain of ice in your veins never lasts. His mouth sucks and tongues at the punctures, drawing your blood out with practiced ease and drinking it down greedily. You close your eyes and relax into it. You trust him. And the odd feeling of your blood being pulled from your veins like liquid through a straw and the dizziness that accompanies it is much more bearable without vision.

Once he’s had his fill, he pulls his mouth off your neck and licks languidly at the last few drops until your blood clots. He slowly lowers himself back into the cushions, careful not to worsen your light-headedness with the motion. You rest your head back on his chest like a rag doll, limp and tired. He cards his fingers through your hair a few times before simply wrapping his arm around you. He mindlessly continues to rub circles into your back, keeping the pain at bay for you to sleep.

You try to speak through half-intelligible thoughts as exhaustion and comfort begins to claim you. Mostly ‘thank you’s, though a heavily slurred ‘I love you’ surfaces once or twice. He gently sushes you. And then you’re fast asleep, as if speaking was the only thing keeping you awake.

And in the morning, well, he’s more than happy to take care of you.

---

Tag List:

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @mheerdraws @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog @thespectacularspaceace @lynnlovesthestars

#fanfic #fanfiction #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #baldur's gate tav #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #gn reader #x gn reader #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #fem reader #x fem reader #female reader #x female reader #period fic #fluff

[pix3lplays]

how about argenti meeting a reader who wears a mask? :3

Gonna combine all of these since they felt similar enough and I have SO many requests-

Hopefully this brings some of you a little bit of comfort!

-Argenti with an s/o who wears a mask-

First of all, especially if he’s NEVER gotten the opportunity to see your true face, it would HAUNT this man. Why!? Why in all the universe would someone choose to hide their face? He already knows you’re beautiful on the inside, just let him see the outside. And Yes, Argenti does have a very narrow and traditional view of the word ‘Beauty’ but he is also the type of man who worships the ground of potted plants he deems ‘beautiful’, so you actually don’t have anything to be afraid of. Of course he would never Force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with, but he is the type of man to try to coax you into taking it off. Just for a moment. Just so he might gaze upon your visage for a fleeting instant… So he finally convinces you. And…

If you do have some sort of scar or disfigurement, I think he couldn’t hide that it takes him aback, for a brief moment, but then his face would soften, and he would assure you that you were second only to Idrila, for that was reality, and that you “really don’t need that mask…” He’ll try to convince you to stop wearing it, at LEAST around him. Besides he’s already seen what you looked like and he still thinks you’re beautiful, so what’s the point in hiding from him? And you know this man is serious too. He would never joke about beauty. And you. You are Beautiful.

He won’t admit it but there actually is an element of fun to be had with him knowing he’s the only one to have seen your true face though. Sometimes he gets asked about it and he gets to smile and be mysterious about it. Brings him some small joy in this universe. But he is a vastly unselfish man. He wants the world to see your beauty. And if anyone should dare try and tell you otherwise, you can refer them to him. He’ll set them right.

If you have self esteem issues… That truly breaks his heart. No one deserves to feel that they are hideous. He is a true believer in that. So he does what he can. He can’t get enough of the flower metaphors. He brings you flowers, all the time, and with a different metaphor about you and flowers every time. Sometimes they’re very creative. Sometimes not so much. But still- “My dear, you are as beautiful as this rose…” he says as he tucks it into your hair. “Unlike flowers though…your beauty is truly eternal…”he’ll claim once your flowers inevitably wilt. He wraps his elegant fingers around their stems, plucks them out of the vase, and replaces them with new ones for you. It’s like clockwork. He does this once a week for you. He looks at where you’re sitting, from your spot in your favorite chair, and those beautiful eyes of him widen. There on your end table…is a familiar mask. And when he dares to follow the shape of your body up to your face, he gets to see it, the true visage of the one he’s pledged himself to. Your face is filled with so, So Much shame.

So much so you look away from your beautiful lover, reach for the mask, but he’s already there, kneeling by your chair, his hands over yours, silently pleading for you to not put on the mask while he drinks in every detail of your face. His eyes…they are so intense…so beautiful while he’s solely focused on memorizing what you look like, just in case you might put on that mask and never show him your true face again.

#Argenti #Argenti x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr Argenti x reader #honkai star rail Argenti x reader

[thesiltverses]

Diff anon but: thank you for your opinion on the new True Detective. It's been tempting me but I'm kinda picky Abt "murder mystery detective" type stories. Would you recommend the first 3 seasons? Your work is amazing!

Hello and thank you!

With caveats and of course a reminder to check the content beforehand, I'd definitely recommend Season 1 of True Detective - not least because it was a source of inspiration for TSV but also a few other recent genre-hopping works, like Disco Elysium.

Since we were talking about Bong Joon-Ho last week, I think Memories of Murder is a pretty good comparison in terms of atmosphere, tone, unease, and ambiguity (albeit without the dark slapstick violence). Both works effectively capture the dread, wonder, and rising terror of peeling back a rock at the bottom of the garden and finding something horrible writhing underneath.

I do have strong personal disagreements with some of the writing choices: the show explicitly and thoughtfully grapples with the pessimistic cosmic-horror idea that we might learn an unbearable truth at the heart of all things which destroys us and drives us mad (in the Ligotti quotes, in the Chambers references, in the theme song itself) - it ultimately ends up disagreeing with that notion, but in my opinion it never produces any particularly satisfying or interesting counter-arguments on its own behalf.

It's a well-read show and actively explores human beings' tendency to regurgitate narrative and philosophy in the pursuit of meaning, but also flirts itself with outright plagiarism to an extent that I find inappropriate (it is, after all, a big-bucks HBO programme cribbing from comic-books and relatively impoverished horror writers).

It's consciously attempting to skewer male entitlement, male self-mythologising and misogyny within a heightened framework that turns the toxic-masculinity angle of detective shows up to 11 (female characters all appear either indoors or close to the threshold; only dead women are allowed in the wilderness. All of the female characters are effectively imprisoned, with no real ability to alter their circumstances onscreen other than through offering or withholding sex) but I think it sometimes falls headlong into the trap of 'be careful that you are not mistaken for the object of your satire'.*

Season 2 feels like a scabrous, frenetic, not particularly enjoyable meta-commentary on the response to Season 1 (Seven Psychopaths to the In Bruges of S1). Season 3 in turn is stolid and heartfelt, an over-cautious course-correction to an incautious course-correction.

I'd try S1 and see what you think.

*likewise, the show is openly about, and critical of, whiteness and heteronormativity, but its narrative utilisation of black characters and a single queer character in the margins of the story is something that has its own unintended consequences and, I think, failings.

[chaotikanvas]

Ok, ok, so incoming ramble about the Glamrocks that I keep thinking about under the readmore! 

Disclaimer: I can’t promise too much structure to this since I’m just putting some thoughts down, but hopefully it’s still an enjoyable read or something to think about ghfdkñkjgh

—

SO!

A while ago, when I was first planning my first ever fic for SB (which has been thoroughly planned but not written and I haven’t talked about it here at all but that’s! Beside the point!), I started really wondering how the glitch/virus worked (I will keep referring to it as virus as I think it fits a bit more).

And I was so happy that the DLC seemed to be in line with what I was thinking or at the very least it supports my headcanon in a way!

(And oh gosh this is gonna take setting the scene a bit at first so bear with me)

So, I’d like to make a note first of all, that I’m not entirely convinced Glitchtrap is gone, because the end to the princess quest 3 minigame means Vanessa gets freed from possession (via opening the door). There is not a fight with him as a boss that seems to deactivate or get rid of him once and for all, at least. But what happened to him is entirely guesswork on my part. Also, while the DLC implies very strongly that all the other endings are not canon and more stories Gregory drew himself, there are still elements from those endings that I feel cannot be discarded, and they help understand the story. (The blob does exist after all and that is only discovered in the Burntrap ending, and it is my belief that the friend that has the schematics for the underground mentioned by Gregory must be Vanessa, because Freddy seems to have only vague recollections of the place when Vanessa had him clear the way for her before, and also he is not capable of accessing all areas of even the main pizzaplex)

(Also, I squint a little wondering if they changed their minds on which ending was the true ending because the Burntrap ending is the one that has animated cutscenes and a cgi ending image. I actually like that Princess Quest is the canon ending now, since Vanessa gets to be free, but it does come with some inconsistencies. But anyways!!!)

So taking all of that into account! To me, the way the virus works, and considering that there must be a supernatural element to it due to the existence of Glitchtrap, has to do a lot with it locking away the “consciousness” of the animatronics. Much like in the way Vanessa’s true self was locked away actually! In past games, the animatronics only seemed to act outside of their programming due to possession of some kind, but these specific ones seem to actually have self-awareness. I have no doubt that the way they were programmed influences their personality, but the DLC has really emphasized that they are not actually just limited to their functions. 

They have true intelligence! Not a surprise, since Freddy was clearly self-aware since SB, but I like that it seems to be a confirmation of it being the case in general and not just an exception. And I believe this because there are animatronics that are able to snap out of it after Cassie interacts with them. They do seem to think things are normal like any day in the pizzaplex, at first (Eclipse and Roxy) and it would seem like this means they are not truly sentient, but considering that Sun was aware all this time that things were very wrong, and that Moon would attack Cassie if not rebooted, and that Roxy later awakens, realizes the danger and goes to rescue Cassie from the Mimic, makes it clear to me that their self-awareness is the real deal. 

So not only would the virus have to infiltrate the robot’s systems, but it also would have to fight against the “consciousness” of the animatronics to gain control. While we know the Burntrap ending didn’t happen, I think when we see Burntrap trying to take over Freddy is a good visual representation of what might have happened over a long span to the other animatronics.

Ok, ok so! With all that said (again gfkjh)! I’m getting to the main point of this post, which is that I cannot stop thinking about the little backstory we got for Monty and what might have happened with Bonnie!

The damaged model of Bonnie we find in Ruin makes it clear to me that yes, it must have been Monty the one who destroyed him. The scratch grooves that join with the hole in his chest do match with the marks we have seen on other spots, (I thiiink Monty’s room has them), and we know the claws are the characteristic associated with Monty.

(And here I make a sidenote acknowledging some buts, because I went back to read the SB messages, and according to those, Monty only received the upgraded claws to play the bass, which means Bonnie was already gone by then. One of the messages states clearly that Monty received modifications only after being moved to the position of bassist, when Bonnie was out of commission, so either Monty already had really strong claws or it's a bit of an oversight there, but I digress!)

But! Even with that clear evidence, and here it’s where I admit it’s more speculation on my part, I find it a bit hard to believe Monty, the real Monty, at least, would destroy Bonnie just like that. Which makes me think Monty must have been one of the first, if not THE first of the band being infected with the virus. I think it’s a generally accepted headcanon that the virus alters the glamrocks personalities in a way that some of their main character traits are twisted in a destructive way. 

Now, Monty already clearly existed back when Bonnie was in the band. He had his own (large!) area even though he wasn’t part of the main band. The DJ is large and has his own section too, but he seems confined to it and was bought from outside the plex. And Monty seems to have been able to roam around anyways, so I think that probably means the higher ups were counting on Monty being a main animatronic in the future. (I have to wonder if the whole one man band thing from the backstory was something he did do for a brief time at the start, but admittedly that could have been added just in the cardboards). 

With all this in mind, Monty was probably the newest addition, a newcomer in a place that already had the four main animatronics. Almost known by no one in the public and without an established personality in a franchise he’s never been part of before. One of the messages says Monty could be more popular than Bonnie, after Bonnie’s disappearance, which makes me think he was mostly a side attraction, and nowhere near as known as the main glamrocks. Why mention that he could be more popular if the audience was as aware of him as the band right?

So, I think the main trait programmed for Monty’s personality is ambition. The backstory in his ride seems to hint at that. A young Monty with his own little music business, looking in amazement at the Glamrocks and dreaming of one day reaching their level. It would make sense to have one of the robots have this as their main trait, since kids would relate to the big dreams. And it seems to fit with other main traits from the other Glamrocks: Roxy seems to have been made with self-confidence in mind (winning races and having a beauty salon) which might be for encouraging kids, Chica is obviously all for being chipper and energetic and enjoying food (useful in an entertainment establishment that wants kids to indulge and get their parents to spend their money when they’re having a good time), and Freddy is meant to be nice and fatherly and the approachable gentle main face of the franchise.

(Though I am a bit sad Chica gets pushed aside a bit in regards to explicitly showing what she’s really like)

(As a small parenthesis from all this, I want to say that the Pizzaplexes troubles with the virus (or at least the more worrying behavior of the animatronics) are likely relatively recent before Gregory’s arrival. Could be months or a couple of years, don’t know how much exactly, but the fact that there are old messages all around, how some of those help give Gregory hints to where he can find stuff that is still there, how Bonnie’s Bowling Alley has not been rethemed to get rid of the evidence of his existence, Freddy’s hurt over Bonnie being gone sounding (at least to me) still fresh rather than from that long ago, and the message about the disappearances makes me think it can’t have started a decade ago or something like that)

Anyways! 

The Monty “rise to fame” story from the ride establishes that Bonnie “gave” his bass to Monty in order to have him join the band, though that Bonnie cutout is obscured. If they really wanted to make it seem like Monty had retired, why not make a cutout with the most important part of the story clear? They made one with Roxanne styling Monty’s hair! So maybe the plan had been to establish that (in the “in universe” narrative for the animatronics) Bonnie would be the Glamrock that took Monty under his wing and teach him the ropes of being a star? Though probably not with the plans of having him be a Glamrock at all, but maybe appearances with a Glamrock would increase the chances of the new gator attraction succeeding (again, speculation on my part, I know).

Coming back around Monty likely being the newest addition, him still not being established as a popular character would maybe mean that he was an easy target to spread the virus. Way more attention would be paid to the main stars, I think, so I think the probability of him being infected from almost the start is high. And with his main trait being ambition, and Bonnie maybe having been planned to be a sort of pathway to him being more known, it wouldn’t surprise me that by the time the incident happens, the virus has already twisted Monty’s ambition into jealousy and aggression and so he ended up destroying Bonnie that one day. Was Bonnie summoned by Monty? Did Bonnie go to Monty out of his own will because he noticed something was wrong? (which ouch if that was the case. It could very well be even that Vanny noticed that Bonnie noticed something was off and had Monty dispose of Bonnie in order to not have any secrets exposed) Who knows! But this is mostly what I think happened.

And why am I so convinced Monty would not have done this without the virus’ influence? Well… Mostly because of Roxy.

In the main game, Roxy is such a bully. Many of the phrases she says are outright cruel, and at a point where Gregory has done nothing to her yet. But in the DLC we see Roxy as she was meant to be. Encouraging. Lifting a child’s spirits up. Assuring them that they are fantastic how they are. 

We know that Cassie is a lonely child. A bit of an outcast who probably spent a lot of time in the plex while her dad worked. We know that her friends did not show up to her birthday and she treasures Gregory as a friend for being there when she was down. Cassie, seems to me, is the kind of child that would be an easy target for bullying. Insecurities and loneliness seem to be main struggles for her, which is why, if Roxanne was already a bully without the virus, why would she be Cassie’s favorite? Why would she be so nice to this kid that obviously needs the confidence boost Roxanne was made to provide? One of Roxanne’s literal lines in SB towards Gregory is “I bet you don’t even have friends!” Knowing that Roxanne knows this is an issue for Cassie, it seems even more brutal that if she’s in her right mind she would use that as an insult when chasing after Gregory. The Roxanne we see in Ruin is so kind. She is a source of comfort for Cassie, soft spoken, and making sure she feels like number one, instead of being self-obsessed (even if it’s born out of extreme anxiety over her own image). 

So if there is such an extreme change from a virus riddled Roxy, why would Monty’s extremes not be the same? We know not even Freddy is exempt from this sort of change though this one is more evidence from the books (slight not too consequential book spoiler and can’t quote from which book exactly it was, but I remember there was an off handed mention of Glamrock Freddy fighting over a plushie with a kid and then feeling dejected when people got angry at him, so it seems if Freddy was ever truly infected, his change of personality would entail being a spoiled main star?).

And it makes sense! Because Freddy considers all the Glamrocks his friends! We know Chica cares for him, because in the intro to SB she takes a step towards him when he malfunctions. And in the base SB game it looks like Freddy is just in denial about his friends (with the arcade minigolf game even having the famous Freddy in a trashbin course to hint at Monty’s jealousy, which you know could very well a real danger with what happened to Bonnie) (and now that I’m writing that it makes me squint a little at that arcade, since it’s very heavily implied the arcade in Sun and Moon’s room infected them so hmmmmmmm, but I digress), but honestly, seeing Roxy acting how it seems she’s supposed to act right before Cassie turns her off as the final node, really makes me think that the true selves of the animatronics are pushed back by the virus to replace them with a caricature of themselves that will obey Vanny’s commands. I mean, the Glamrock Freddy body is completely headless, and doesn’t even appear in the AR world! I don’t know whether it “attacks” because it’s what it would do if infected, or if it is simply leftover code from the way Freddy hid Gregory in his chest, but there sure as heck isn’t anything resembling a consciousness in there. Besides, we know Vanny was invisible to Freddy.

And if consciousness really is pushed aside by the virus, then it would explain why Monty is like that right now. (At least if my speculation of him being the longest with the virus is true) He would know nothing but anger and at this point he is acting like all he knows how to do is attack. Monty’s mind seems to truly be absolutely gone by now. :(

But aaaah this is getting way too long now fkjdghkjf

I guess I just want to talk about Bonnie a bit more, because we don’t have that much more about him that I can form any conclusions about. I do love the poster in his room! The fact that he really was this close to Freddy! They saw each other everyday and Freddy still decided to write a heartfelt message for Bonnie, that Bonnie decided to hang where he would see it clearly everyday! It really seems that Bonnie cared for Freddy just as much and that makes me so happy! It makes it all the sadder to know how heartbroken Freddy is over Bonnie’s disappearance…

Also I am incredibly confused by the whole wetfloor bot stuff! I don’t know if it’s implied that Bonnie’s “consciousness” somehow managed to transfer to the small bots (or why children screams can be heard from them), and if he managed to stay present through them after all. The little bots never really try to harm or sound alarms on Gregory unless shot at I think, so there’s that to think about! Or maybe Glamrock Bonnie was able to connect himself to them but not transfer? Kind of as long as there are any functional he too would be able to hang on? (Or did someone did that for him and it wasn’t himself who did?) Because deactivating the ones where we find Bonnie makes Bonnie’s eyes go dark. But why?? This I really have no idea about!

There’s also that one floorbot that remains beside a pile of Monty’s merch! And if Bonnie is looking or controlling the wetfloor bots that could mean a lot of things!! If Bonnie is in control, is the bot gathering the merch? Is it a negative thing? A sort of attempt to just collect the merch so it can’t be found ever again like Bonnie himself was? Or maybe, if Bonnie did have the most contact with Monty, did he get to know the real not-virus-infected Monty, and saw the merch as a way to remember someone that was briefly a good friend before things went terribly wrong? Hmmmmmm…

Well, I think that’s all I have! Just wanted to get my thoughts out there! It’s not very organized but if you made it all the way to here, thank you for reading!

#oh also! I love that they made Monty capable of being underwater even in such a state! #I always had the headcanon that Monty was waterproof and capable of swimming in his golf course hehe #so I was excited about that XD #ruin dlc #kanvas writes #because I sure wrote almost 3k about this jhgfdkjhlkj #fnaf sb ruin dlc #fnaf security breach #security breach #fnaf #glamrock bonnie #montgomery gator #glamrock freddy #roxanne wolf #fnaf ruin dlc spoilers #ruin dlc spoilers #I have many more thoughts about the dlc in general #about the mimic and mxes and of course our dear DCA but this is already so long and I'm a bit tired of typing XD #so yeah! #throws this at you I hope there aren't many mistakes fksdjg

[warmerstranger]

THE SECRET ABOUT THAT BOY

ft. yandere popular senior x gn junior reader

Inspired from the song, 'The secret about that girl' by E ve! But it's the gender-bend version of it (人*'∀｀)｡*ﾟ+ would this be a songfic?

°°``Marked as and not excluding: Yandere (manipulative, boy trynna make you all jelly and shit, abuse of power, obsessive tendencies, blame pinning -not on reader-, stairs, broken bones and blood -not reader-), reader is referred as you, no beta read we die like daiki's sanity, also reader's kinda awkward and in denial of crushing </3 but that's not really the focus.

°°``2k+ words.

Recommended to read for those 16+, please proceed with caution.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Standing near the school gate with the senior whom you always admire—Daiki Junichiro—was like a dream come true. The sun begun to set though its bright glare towards you was as strong; marking the night time that stalled for you who borrowed him just a bit. Because when you heaved out an 'I love you!', you were reminded of how this scene was similar to how those romance stories goes—too good to be true. But your pounding heart served as the living proof that this moment was indeed real.

Some school security guard commented without looking up from his newspaper. “A youthful love, huh. Good luck on that.”

Refraining from rolling your eyes, you pursed your lips instead. Hurriedly at the same time a pause was rooted in place, you sorted out a proper explanation from the disorganized words piling up inside your mind.

“Um wait, so please don't misunderstand first, I just want to understand my feelings by doing this on your.. poor self haha... It's confus—I mean I'm confused whether, I truly have a crush on you which is unconfirmed obviously.” you winked reassuringly. “or I just thought that you're amazing and I really actually think so..? Ah, whatever. In short, I just want to get to know you better, sorry in advance!” you bowed.

A chill breeze washed over the stretching silence, which felt more torturous as it went on before a hearty chuckle reverberated right from the dream boy himself. “Hah—haha.. I'm sorry. It's... very much out of nowhere, I was expecting for another mindless confession to occur. But it's a wrecked train that hit me instead, spilling your feelings on me so suddenly like that. Did that help you at least?”

You blinked, unbelieving of his smile that seemed so radiant when it blurred with the dusk hue. “..hmm, I don't know yet actually.. I'm, distracted by the fact that.. this is really.... Oh, wait, let me try another.” Breathing in, you exhaled on top of other sentences. “I'm really amazed by your.. charm which is because you always... work hard being the top student and still so humble, oh and also.. uh, I forgot what I want to say. I.. you get the gist of it, surely? This is like.. a test! Yeah, just a social experiment!”

He nodded, still keeping that same smile. “Thank you for the compliment. I'm sure I could hear it for hours because it feels the most genuine. ...I hope I can be of help to you, then? I'm sure, you're greater in ways even I, an upperclassman, can't presume. People tend to know more the strength of others than themself, so... It's possible if you just haven't learn it and hone the skill tha fits you the best. If you're still here living up to this point, there will come the time for you to know.” The senior patted your shoulder before raising his hand up beside his lips as a pondering gesture. Behind his studying eyes, you could feel your soul being read through.

It was a momentary vulnerability however when he spoke up again. “How about we have a study session together? I'll be glad to help any problems you might have. The advantages will return to both of us, I could have the experience and you could get the knowledge.”

“Great idea! More better than having me keep looking up to you, it's so boring...”

You tried to scan his face that still kept a friendly smile plastered on it, then continued your talking “I.. want to be hit, I mean, by the truth!... that you're also a human like me and you have some weak points. Anyway, yeah, I want to learn more of yourself as.. a human being rather than an example or idol, I guess.” Shrugging, you sighed with an exasperated smile.

He brought a hand to conceal his grin. “Ahaha, I appreciate the honesty. You have a good start from here on out, I believe in you that you can even become more better than me.”

“Hm, okay. Well...” you ambled outside the gate with him. “Thanks for the time you spent for me, senior. See you.. tomorrow?”

“Just call me Daiki, junior. Okay? Drop the honorifics from now on, we're friends. Meet you again tomorrow! Careful on your way home.” He waved which you replied with another.

Things picked up at a rather good point that you felt hopeful for another step forward.

𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸...

The school bell rang, signaling that it was time for lunch. Almost everyone scurried outside the class leaving only you, your best friend, and few others. Gathering your things, you stuffed them into your bag so the table were clear. When you lifted your head, there was Junichiro already standing in front of your desk. “Hey, (name), do you mind if we spend the lunch time together?”

You turned to her from your side who was accompanied by a stony face like usual. Seeing a new face, the senior reckoned. “Ah, you must be their friend? I'm Junichiro from Class 3-7, glad to meet you! If you want, you can join too, I wouldn't dare to separate you guys!” he chuckled.

She nodded. “Harune Risumi.” Before addressing you. “Lunch, your choice.”

Since you were used to having Harune around, you accepted the offer without hesitation.

“Alright.” He grinned gleefully in return.

No matter how much the conversation randomly turned out, he ended up talking the most. You and him realized when Harune made an effort to chat more—guiding the topic back on him—that Junichiro had been asking so many things about you. It prompted him to apologize because he was just really excited to know you. Only then did he begun to expand the topic related to him, while still connecting with how or what would your opinion be. But you somehow could feel the distaste about some other students he mentioned... or was it your imagination?

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ... ♫♬♪

After school ended, you set foot into a restful cafe; abiding his advice as it would be good to study in an enjoyable environment.

Now that the ordering business was out of the way, you took out and laid the needed materials on the table. The most difficult problems were written on your notebook. A topic had then arisen in your mind when you missed his frown as if dissatisfied.

“Wh-” “He-”

You blinked, slowly registering that you cut him off. “Sorry, you can go first, senior.”

“What about we cool off our mind a bit here before starting?” he smiled softly.

“Oh, sure. I'll do it while I gather my thoughts and prepare some questions.” you nodded before sipping your drink.

“Alright.”

Concentrating intently on your topic ideas from earlier, you were unaware of how his eyes examined every slightest miniscule of change in your expression, assuming he was just looking down at the strewn notebooks on the table like you.

▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀᴇᴅ, ᴊᴜsᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ

Questions were soon traded back and forth. The utmost knowledge spilled by him; some things becoming more clear and ended up making sense. Various complains also slipped out from the two of you about the most annoying thing from some subjects. You both even laughed on silly pet peeves or habit certain teachers had.

Discreetly, he took note of that where his memory would be tested to repeat the exact words you said into the locked diary on his phone.

“It'd be good if we could still be friends even after you graduate, huh, senior?”

Daiki nodded. He will be sure to make that happen, it was an oath swore within his heart full of warmth about you to the brim.

▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ. ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴜᴍʙ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴅᴀᴡɴ.

Passing by weeks full of study sessions which were slowly changing to be only a bonding time, you started to get cozy indulging in the same tradition over and over.

All the times learned about Daiki; weaknesses, mistakes, and others while he found out yours was making your rose-tinted view of this 'perfect' upperclassman recreated to a realistic one.

That was the good thing.

The bad thing was you developed a blooming post-crush towards him that left you this urge to take the next step in a relationship with him, pushing you to refuse his next study session invitation with an explanation to end the tradition. You don't think you were ready to have things even more at risk and crumble if you were to confess. On top of that, his feelings for you does seem to regard you as his junior only...

“We don't need to have the studying session ordeal anymore. I think we already learn enough from it. We can still be good friends at least, um... To hang out once in a while?” you uttered out the words hesitantly, tone faltering near the end.

Stunned, he then frowned before suddenly smiling close-eyed. “Really? I'm glad if that's the case then! Of course we can, my offer to help are always open though!”

▶ • ılıılıılılılı ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs, ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ɢʀɪᴘ ᴏɴ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ.

“No. I mean, nah, don't need to.. All those lessons.. helped me a lot! So, I want you to.. just focus catching up.. the things in your life I guess? You would graduate soon anyway! I would be happy if I can help you too, in case you need any. Thanks for everything, senior! Goodbye!”

You didn't see the early signs—a displeased frown and pair of eyes that were boring into your back...

Not long after, slowly but surely he chose to avoid you in public for unknown reasons. Keeping his distance, shortening most talks to a brief greeting.

“Damn, screwed up big time...” you plopped yourself over the table, as Harune's look swept over you in a raised brow.

“Your feeling?”

Your head turned to the side where Harune stared back, resting her head sideway on her table.

“Well... I feel like it's not fair, just because I often spend my time with him and liking him, then if I go out telling him that I have feelings for him... Things might change. He might feel really.. uncomfortable? Awful? etcetera. Man... and you see how he acts with me now, maybe he caught on to me.”

▶ • ılıılıılılılı ɪ’ᴍ sᴇᴇɪɴɢ sɪᴅᴇs ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ʙᴜᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ

Listening your explanation, she hummed. “About him?”

“Well I'm not him—”

Harune sat up. “Discuss. Investigate. You can try.” She scowled, her eyes held resolution. “Things are going in a wrong turn.” she muttered.

Together, you advanced on searching the person in question with a newfound determination, supported by your friend. But, he wasn't at all in his class. A girl near the class door then spoke to you. “You should know by now if you're his friend, he likes to be invited by someone who wants to confess so they're probably behind the gym building again or somethin'.”

So you then reached the said place only to discover he wasn't there. Harune speaks up. “Ask around, let's.”

Splitting off from her, you explored for possible hidden places. On your way back inside the school building, some whisper of your last name catched your ears making you stop right around the corner.

“It's real, the rumors ab...t ... and Junichiro, they were ..ing it in the student council room beca... ... meeting ... ” The voice were getting distant so you hurried over to a room on third floor.

Now, you stood outside the farthest room at the corner of hall which had a 'Student Council' tag hovering above its door.

Weighing up the choices, a sound of lock from inside decided it for you as the door was opened by the person himself.

Junichiro's bewildered widening look met your eyes, his gaze switching off faintly to a torn expression as he murmurs out a “..missed you.” you barely heard.

“Huh?

..Um.. uh, can we talk?” you asked.

“Sorry, I'm in a hurry, maybe later?” he mustered up a wry smile.

“Oh, y-yeah that's—”

He brushed off past you so suddenly you didn't get the chance to stop him. Turning away from him, you saw someone else sitting inside the room; a student from another class stared at nothing in particular with their mouth hung open a bit. “Whywhy...”

Your curiousity brought you closer to them but they suddenly screamed. “Go AWAY! Wh—” The moment they looked up to you, a realization sparked in them that they glared. “You.. you ruined my life! Can't you be gone from my liFE! Because of you—” They harshly pushed away your side and ran away.

You then took your steps out soon, again continuing to seek him out by entering directions he might had gone to and finally spotted him from far when the first hour bell already rang off.

▶ • ılıılıılılılı ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ɪ-ɪ-ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ

Those multiplying rumors about him dating with people here and there who were either your look-alikes, had your features or name similarity didn't help your judgment either. People were also avoiding you, even portraying you in all sort of colorful words they gossiped about.

And two scene you witnessed settled it. Two times you saw him kissing two different people which you recorded and kept in your phone as precaution measures.

You racked your mind thoroughly, thinking what could possibly the reason and cause that pushed things to go this way. Poor thing you are, unaware of how his mind raced with scenarios of doing all kind of things to you if you were to replace their place. But he wouldn't do that, no, he was your perfect senior after all and things were best that way instead for him, for you. Or perhaps, he was simply feeling spiteful.

One evening at school similar to that time you first time 'confessed' to him, you confronted Junichiro in a locked room and having Harune guard it. That way, you would finally make him fess up no matter what.

Taking a deep breath, he calmly explained. “Around that time after you left, someone... dragged me off to somewhere. I think that person eavesdropped on us, and she thought... she could do whatever she wanted! By restricting my freedom to interact with you along with ways of trying to make you jealous. Or she'll...” He gripped your shoulders. “-Risumi will share negative rumors that could ruin your reputation. There's already some leaked, though, I'm sorry,” his eyes were down, wavered in a thin veil of sadness.

Keeping your mouth shut as you thought deeply, you answered. “That's unbelievable.. I...”

“I know, it must be really.. shocking for you especially since...” He shook his head slowly. “This is part of why I don't... I'm afraid to tell you.”

Unease were eating at you, so you played along with him for a bit until you went with Harune to some hidden place and telling all you knew. She proved with certainty; her alibi. She was your best friend for years even before going to the same high school together.

The truth was already obvious by that point.

Deciding to keep this between you and her, you both were going to report everything to the teacher along with prove and complete alibi.

The signs were there, but you didn't pay them much attention. That flawless image of him that he always kept up...

When you descended the stairs down with her, she fell down. Pushed.

You knew it instantly as you feel the realization dawning on you. What just transpired...

Blood leaked from her head, peeking from strands of hair, pooling under and—

“Maybe I overdid it a, huh. But I just had to. I figured she might the problem...” a voice cut in. The voice you knew very well and had grown to like. It was revealed when the voice's source walked down to approach it.

He stared at you deeply, his face blank in the dim stairwell. “Is this thing still your dear friend? Looks a bit wretched to me.”

The accident soon spread like wildfire. But with his serious expression and unshaken voice again, Junichiro cleared up everything; that it was only an accident in purpose of self-defense as she tried to harm him. His words were supported by another big lie accusing that your best friend was the villain all along because her 'motive' made sense. Smooth but powerful—the effect he held. He ended it with a confession, causing you and him to be known as a couple.

Even your school swept that incident under the rug and sealed it shut by money. Everyone was done with it. Only you knew the truth, keeping it as a treasure saved for Harune.

Like today, too, you clutched her pale hand as she lied on her white hospital bed. Your loving boyfriend put his hand over yours, but you ignored the sweet nothings he whispered that could only cut through your already wilting heart.

A demon in angel's shape you want nothing to do with anymore.

ɪғ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄᴀʟʟ

ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ

ʟɪᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴᴇʀ...

#yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #yandere oneshot #yandere x reader #yandere fanfiction #yandere oc x you #male yandere x reader #male yandere x you #yandere male x reader #male yandere oc x reader #male yandere oc #yandere male oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios

[snakes-and-fluff]

I've come up with the world's most insane Milgram theory. Well, I don't think it's true, so it'd be more correct to call it a hypothetical. But my brain was spinning Es around last night as I was trying to sleep and outlined all of this anyway, so:

Is Es an amalgam of the souls of the victims?

Mostly based on the fact that in Undercover each of the prisoners is seen murdering "Es". Now. Is this most likely a way to not spoil who they killed? Probably! However I could not stop thinking about it.

(Reasoning under the cut, including novel spoilers for both novels. I've only read the translated GDocs (including one that was machine-translated) so my info might be slightly incorrect, just a heads-up. Also I don't have the GDocs on hand so I cannot remember anyone's name)

1: The Milgram warden can be a dead person. The reveal at the end of the first novel is that everyone was linked and there was only one death, who became Es and oversaw that trial. So we know Milgram is supernatural to some degree and does allow for this.

2: Each Es has their own Jackalope that seems to be a foil or reflective of them in some way. There is a different Jackalope in each novel to match each warden (a female warden in N1 with a female Jackalope, a male warden in N2 with a male Jackalope). I'll admit that just matching genders is a weak point but stay with me for a moment. Assuming that Jackalope reflects Es in some way, isn't it weird how much MV Jackalope is fixated on solving the crimes? That's not true for N2 Jackalope (who just views it as a job, something that must be done), but MV Jackalope is very determined, especially in the end of the Second Trial Commencement Notice. "What I'm looking for is there, in that decision arrived at only after wading through all that morass!!" MV Jackalope doesn't just want this - he's desperate for it. Is this because MV Es has a personal reason (or reasons) to see "justice" brought to this batch of prisoners?

3: Es has referred to themself using plural pronouns. Most notable in Amane's T2 voice drama, though I believe it's happened before. The easiest way to read this is that the "we" Es is referring to is the audience, but there might be another reason for it.

4: Souls exist in Milgram. The use of the word "soul" to describe why Mikoto's restraints didn't work even though he was pronounced Guilty could just be a creative word choice, but it seems too specific. If Mikoto's different personalities count as different souls that can inhabit a single body fine, who's to say that can't be true for someone else as well?

There is one major hitch in this theory that I can see. The fact that Es has a canonical age (15) is throwing me for a loop, for if they were an amalgamation and not a person in their own right I don't think they'd have an age. They might appear to be a certain age, sure, but I don't think they could definitively say what age they are. However. I did not let this stop me, so I tried to figure out what the hypothetical age of an amalgam would be if we used math, and tried to extrapolate what the ages of each of the victims were:

Haruka – 10 – we don’t know the exact age, but we do know that the person he killed was “younger and weaker” (T2 voice drama), and 10 is a nice round number (and thinking of him killing someone younger than 10 makes me sad)

Yuno – 0 – literal baby, self-explanatory

Fuuta – 13 – we know she was a middle-schooler thanks to her uniform shown in Backdraft

Muu – 16 – she killed a classmate so they must be the same age

Shidou – 30 – this one was the hardest to figure out. I had to look up fatal car accident age range (25-34) and get the mean of those numbers (it’s 29,5 but I rounded up). I chose that because it’s the most likely accident to make somebody braindead, and also it’s what happened to his own family and it’s the closest thing to info we have on what exactly his murder was anyway

Mahiru – 22 – she met her lover in University; either they’re the same age or a year or two difference. I stuck with the same age because it’s easier

Kazui – 39 – Hinako and Kazui were co-workers, so it makes sense that they’d be around the same age. She does appear to be younger than him in Cat’s MV but that’d just be me guessing so it’s easier to say she’s 39

Amane – 42 – the average age in Japan of a woman having her first child is around 30. Assuming this was true for Amane’s mother, she would be 42 when she was killed due to Amane being 12 Amane – 34 – according to a timeline coversation Amane mentions that her mom was around Mahiru's age (22) when she was born. So 12 years later she'd be 34 (thanks mizukiyama & ryrysakura for letting me know about this info I missed)

Mikoto – 23 – I’m assuming his target(s?) were around the same age as him, based on what we see in MeMe. And that the killing(s?) happened recently, as he appears very similar in MeMe to how he looks in Milgram

Kotoko – 21 – I could not find a number for “average age of kidnapper in Japan” (thanks Milgram, that’s now in my search history), or any other searches of the kind, just showing up ages that were most at risk of violent crime. So I guessed.

This gives us an average of… 21,6. Which is not 15. New average with updated Amane's mom age is 20,8. Which is still not 15. Now, Es could be both a person in their own right and an amalgam of other souls.

Or I just wasted your time and proved myself wrong. But hey, I had fun thinking about this hypothetical anyway.

#once again: I don't actually believe this #(also I think it'd kinda be a boring twist) #but I had to put it out there #milgram #milgram hypothetical #milgram theory #es milgram #milgram es #milgram novel #milgram novels spoilers #milgram spoilers

[cocogrrrl]

Hi! Can you do a TransMale!reader and Kyle fic where reader feels really dysphoric and upset while the two are in public because of stares 😭

And then Kyle corrects someone when they misgender reader 😭

It would cure my dysphoria 🥺/j

-📌🎀

real men

you arent feeling the best, and when you get purposefully misgendered, you only feel worse

kyle broflovski x transmale!reader cw: transphobia, gender dysphoria wc: 1050

an: as an enby person i feel like this was more self indulgent than anything, i hope this captures what you're looking for anon 😭

Somehow, something hits you at the worst of times, and then you feel like every single wave within you is crashing, and there is no way you can stop it. The particular stare of some people, the way you overhear how others talk about you, how they refer to you. It’s a reminder that you’ll never be who you want to be.

To many people, you just escaped the person you were. You weren’t actually trying to reshape yourself into the person you’re meant to be—you were just destroying yourself. You were stupid in their eyes.

In a way, sometimes you felt like they were right.

Were the new clothes, new name, and new identity all worth it? Because at the end of the day, one wrong move and people will know or be reminded of who you once were. Sometimes you believed that it’s no use—the changes you made—because all you want is people to accept who you were, which they didn’t.

“YN? Are you okay?” Kyle’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, waving a hand in front of your face.

You two were spending time together in the back of the school during your break, and you hadn’t realized that you completely spaced out.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, just a little tired.” You laughed, brushing your thoughts off. You didn’t want to worry Kyle at this moment. He doesn’t deserve to hear you wallowing. He’s worth more than that.

“Are you sure?” He said, raising a brow at you. You think he knows what’s going on, but you can’t tell.

You really didn’t want to bother Kyle or your feelings in fear of opening a dam, so you did your best to swat both away. “Yeah.”

“Did you get enough sleep last night?”

“Eh, I couldn’t sleep. I think it was 3 AM, and I was still wide awake” That was true, at least. You had trouble sleeping, and Kyle knew that very well. A double dose of sleeping pills could barely get you through the night.

“How much time do you have left before your next period?”

“Uh, 20 minutes.” You said, looking at the time on your phone.

“You wanna sleep first?” He offered, patting his shoulder.

“I had coffee a while ago, so I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.” You smiled, shaking your head but still resting your body on Kyle’s side. What can you say? You’re a clingy person.

As you heard people making their way through the school grounds, getting to their next class, Kyle scrolled on his phone as you relaxed your mind and your body. Your thoughts eventually settled, and you felt a little lighter. You hadn’t realized that you were feeling better.

Until one person showed up.

“And here, you can see the covetous jew with his gay ass girlfriend,” Cartman said, waving his arm at you two from a distance like he’s some tour guide and you two are attractions at a zoo. He was showing and befriending the freshmen around since no one in his grade wanted to hang out with him.

“Dude, can you shut the fuck up?” Kyle rolled his eyes as he placed his phone down. “He’s my boyfriend, by the way.”

“I don’t get what you mean, Kyle. YN’s is so obviously a chick! She’s got tits and everything.” He spat, motioning to your parts.

“First of all, he’s a boy regardless of what you say.” He let out a frustrated sigh, closing his eyes tight as he relieved his annoyed feeling. He knew better than to start a fight right now. It’s not what any of you needed. ”Second of all, didn’t you identify as a trans woman when we were younger?”

He scoffed in reply as his jaw hung so low it was almost comical like it was saying ‘How dare you bring that up?!’ “No, I so fucking didn’t!”

“There was one time you dressed up as Britney Spears once and danced with a cardboard cutout of Justin Timberlake. Butters still has the video.”

“No, he doesn’t.” He mumbled, sounding defeated.

“Yes, he does, and I will call him if you don’t quit it.”

“Whatever, the video’s edited anyway.” He grumbled, motioning the group of freshmen to follow him as he would go on to find his next victim. 

Kyle let out a deep breath once more, the tenseness in his shoulders dropping once Cartman had left the scene. “Are you alright?” He looked at you sympathetically, putting a hand on your back.

“I don’t know…” You replied, your gaze now directed on the ground.

Your thoughts of earlier had swarmed back. They couldn’t just be swatted away. There’s always something that’ll rock the hive.

You just hated how he was just spreading that fact. It means that you wouldn’t even have a chance of appearing like a boy to others now. It feels like you were always destined to be a girl because of shit like this.

“I’m sorry he did that.” You could sense a hint of frustration still lying under his voice.

“It’s out of your control. I think it’s inevitable.”

“Don’t think that way. You aren’t worth his time or his bigotry.”

“I just wish people saw me as a guy.” You exhaled, bringing your legs up to your chest as you balled your body up.

“A lot of people do. It’s because you are one.”

“Yeah? That doesn’t stop shits like Cartman telling others that I’m not a real man.”

“Real man, this real man that. Who’s to define what makes a man anyways? Definitely not him.” He laughed, hoping to ease a little bit of your stress. 

“YN, you are a boy, okay? Just because you don’t fit into the construct that the fuck built in his idea of gender, it doesn’t mean that you are any less of a man. It’s his fault that he can’t seem to recognize the man you really are.”

You turned your head from buried in your lap to his view. You felt a smile creep on your lips. Even if people like Cartman would always be around, at least you had your boyfriend to be by your side despite everything. “Thanks, Kyle.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” He hummed, bringing you into a hug.

#📌🎀 anon #cocogrrrl's writing #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x you #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle x reader

[signanothername]

Headcanon of how the Burn’s family are as patients:

Heatwave: -10/10 horrible patient, almost the reason Blades quit. Doesn’t let you treat him, doesn’t want to go through any recovery procedures. Boulder needs to be in the room to handle him (bonus if this is part of the reason why Blades probably thought him some first aid)

Chase: 3/10 fine at first, but refuses recovery procedures too. Needs someone to keep an eye on him or he’ll be back on the field.

Boulder: 10/10 Very calm patient. Has hobbies to keep him occupied. Will go along with doctors orders

Blades: 5/10 He’ll have you believe that “doctors are horrible patients” isn’t true for the first few days. Would probably go behind whoever checked him to check himself, can be a little paranoid. He’ll enjoy time off but get restless fast.

Charlie: 9/10 He’s a good patient, but he’s a dad and has the only braincell GR had to offer so he might have to get out there even if he doesn’t want to.

Kade: 3/10 Better than Heatwave, that’s not saying much. Would be a model patient in front of doctors, would still be on the field behind them, but not do anything in the firehouse as his recovery

Dani: -5/10 Blades would probably have to lock her in his cockpit to keep her still, and let’s face it, she would find a way to escape.

Graham: 8/10 would say he’s fine, but he’s an engineer, the moment he touches a bed he’ll KO until he’s healed. Doctors find this a little concerning

Cody: 7/10 He’s a kid, a very good kid, but his a kid. Honestly tho, with his luck, high chance Murphy’s law is the real issue and not him. All the bots would 100% be fussing over him.

Bonus:

Blur: Blades called him his 13th reason. He didn’t get the reference

HT: -11/10 he’s a proud veteran and primus help Blades because not even Boulder could make him sit down for an examination.

Quickshadow: 4/10 Only a little better than Chase, she’ll wait until she has her doctors trust to make a run for it.

Salvage: 3/10 Would probably try to treat himself for curiosity only to end up needing a doctor even more than when he started

Anon I love this so much omg

Ok thoughts time >:)

———

Heatwave: YAAASSSS!!! Heatwave is way to stubborn and hotheaded to let Blades treat him, he’d probably say shit like “it’s just a scratch” meanwhile he’s bleeding dhhdhd

Also omg needing Boulder in the room is so true, I feel like Boulder is definitely the only one that can actually handle Heatwave, a hothead like him needs a really calm individual to cool him down

———

Chase: FUCKING CANON

That one episode when he hurts his leg and is insistent on the fact he’s ok, then later refuses stasis entirely

This entire scene man

And it’s kinda interesting to see how he finds Boulder’s help “humiliating” as if tho getting help wounds his pride, not to mention, how his refusal is related to his self worth and his fear of being “useless”, he later on tells Charlie “i feel as if I have let you down” like awww nooooo you haven’t!!! Why would he even think that is beyond me

That’s where my workaholic Chase headcanon originated from tho

working seems to keep his mind at ease

———

Boulder: hell yaaaa! Boulder is honestly the kindst soul you could meet, he tries his best to make everything easier for everyone, and that makes me believe that even if he were to need some sort of treatment he doesn’t like, or is uncomfortable with? You wouldn’t even know he’s uncomfortable with it from how committed he is and how he never causes any trouble

I think Blades would definitely catch wind of Boulder not speaking up when he uncomfortable and would definitely talk to him about it, assure him it’s ok to speak up and that they can find middle ground, a compromise of sorts if you will

Blades and Boulder would definitely have an amazing doctor and patient rapport :D

———

Blades: YOU GOT IT SO RIGHT!! Blades understands the need to be a good patient and I’d imagine he tries his best to be one, but then anxiety kicks in full force and abandonment issues make themselves known

Blades always seems paranoid over the idea of being replaced, and becoming outta commission would get him to think he’s replaceable, and he definitely doesn’t want any backlash so he’d absolutely go behind the team’s back and try to make it seem like he’s ok when he isn’t

I feel like his family would absolutely notice and realize it eventually tho, and man he’d be hearing a full lecture, especially from Heatwave (ironically) and Dani

———

Charlie: wheeze no fr tho

Charlie needs to be there or things would go downhill real fast, Heatwave and Chase can be good stand ins when needed, but depending on when it’s happening, they either can’t actually lead cause they have to act like lifeless machines or even after revealing their truth, Heatwave’s braincell goes bye bye cause of his anger and Chase takes things way too literally and it could end in disaster

Kade is good to an extent but I really don’t think he can keep things running smoothly for long

We literally get an episode in which Charlie gets sick and basically stays in bed and the next thing you know is Evan and Miles mischief, Cody ages up and Kade age regresses, chaos at its finest

So god forbid Charlie actually retires one day hchvvhhv

I feel like Charlie understands actually resting would be better than pretending everything is fine, cause the sooner he rests the sooner he recovers

So yeah Charlie is definitely the type of patient to actually rest but would definitely get back on the field before he recovered completely, he at least has an actual good reason hcvhvhvj

———

Kade: oh my god yesssss

Kade is only slightly better cause he generally doesn’t resist treatment, recovery wise tho? Yeah this man isn’t resting at all

And he would absolutely take advantage of his recovery to escape chores or something like that, probably give Charlie the damsel in distress act

Charlie is wise to his lil acts tho

———

Dani: no literally THIS

You’d think as an EMT she’d actually understand the importance of taking care of herself but nah she’s a lost cause

Dani is a bit hyperactive and she’s pretty productive, sitting down doing nothing is not on her schedule and there’s no room for it, so i feel like the family dreads when she’s sick or injured cause now they have to look out for her

And she always manages to slip away

———

Graham: he definitely is like Boulder in hiw calm and cooperative he is, so I can absolutely see he’s no concern when it comes to recovery

And omg the idea of him KO’ed is so in character it’s so funny, this absolutely happens

I can imagine Charlie feeling a bit of fear of if tho cause dad instincts kick in whenever his kids are sick/hurt

———

Cody: no like this is spot on cucuchch

Especially the Murphy’s law part, poor Cody can’t catch a break, and I honestly find it hilarious how Blades specifically notices and points it out, only for Chase to say he fucking cataloged it

The poor kid is jinxed

Cody does try his best to be a good patient, but as you said, he’s just a kid in the end, meaning he’s hyperactive and can get bored easily, would definitely eventually try to do something for fun

———

Blurr: wheeze

Ok but fr, i’d even say he’s as bad, if not worse than Heatwave, he’d probably be like “relaaax doc” as Blades is literally begging him to sit still at this point

Blurr is very impatient, and Blades himself isn’t the most patient bot, so combining both their impatience just ends in disaster

I feel like Blades ends up asking Heatwave to be with him to get Blurr in order, which works most of the time actually, other times it just ends in Heatwave breaking something hcchch

Heatwave needs Boulder to keep him still, Blurr needs Heatwave to keep him still chchchhc

———

Hightide: literallyyyyyyyy

Hightide is a very old bot who’s seen worse so he’d always downplay his need for medical assistance, “it’s just a scratch” as he bleeds 2.0

I feel like the only way to get Hightide to sit still is either to get OP or to have Servo sit on his lap, he maybe a restless veteran, but he’s also a proud dad to Servo and he’d never dare shoo Servo away to simply stand

It probably took forever for Blades to discover that solution tho chvjvj

———

Quickshadow: too sassy, thinks she’s too good for a rest yet really fucking smart

She absolutely would be strategic in her quest to not have to rest, and she always manges to outsmart everybody, Blades fears her and her big brain

———

Salvage: YAAASSS! Salvage is too curious for his own good at times, and getting hurt? Yeah he’d go for treating himself not only outta curiosity, but he probably also thinks it’s not that much of a big deal

Tho i’d say the positive thing about Salvage is the fact he actually learns from any mistakes he makes, so he’d definitely go for Blades the next time he’s hurt, doesn’t mean his curiosity doesn’t win him over sometimes

———

Ok that was pretty fun, love these asks man keep them coming >:D❤️❤️❤️🌷✨

#anothers ask #ano saves asks

[keeperoftinyarmy]

Lol what ? That anon raised some dumb points and you thought it's great because they used some fancy language? 🤣

Tbh what anon said was absolute bs.. kudos to humanuser for roasting them with facts and questions.

I agree they were given scripts and roles when they were young and new to kpop industry. They didn't had much media training like those big 3 company idols so they behaved how company asked them to even if it was cringy. But that's NOT the case when they reached to the point they were able to make strong opinions on their music and contents released. Like Humanuser did Jin was asked to behave cold, Hobi cute, Tae weird, Jimin manly and JK wasn't even allowed tk workout to be seen as maknae. And how long did they followed these 'persona'? 2016 Max. After that slowly they let go of these persona and began showing their real selfs. And guess what Jikook began to showcase their love more since 2017 mid, when they were about to sign their 2nd contract with new terms on how much control the company has on them and their work.

Hobi is naturally cute but stopped acting cringy cute, Jin doesn't have a single cold behavior, Jimin literally asked fans to stop referring to him as manly and JK is built like a hulk. To this day, they all have a 'script' but that's not what you said.. but a general thread they should follow so they won't say dumb or sensitive things on stage infront of millions. That's it.

Anon, you can think your fav is following a script and he's an actor or whatever. But as a Jimin biased, I CANT NOT think of him as someone who will do anything his company asks just for some claps by fans. No I'm not saying he's 101% his genuine self on cam... even we won't do that infront of cam or public lol. But he's a very genuine human AND artist who loves to do his job as professionally and organically as he can. And I'm pretty sure majority of Jimin stans who love him for who he is have the same opinion.

I guess the first part of was for me…I haven’t really shared my opinion on any of the comments on this topic. I’m trying to objectively listen. I am appreciative of all who chose to share their thoughts even if I personally don’t agree with them. I also appreciate every person that decides to debate a post as well….like you are doing here.

—/—

Here’s a personal comment: Jimin is my bias as well. I feel that dropping those early personas was the best thing that could have happened for him. I sometimes felt like I literally watched him bloom as he was more free to be his true self. Jimin being so private means we aren’t seeing everything (which is how it should be) but I feel comforted that we are seeing the parts he truly wants to reveal.

—/—

Thank you for commenting. You’ve made some good points and I appreciate that you chose to share them. 💜

#kota asks

[hunt-me-sergeant]

PHEE AND PABU THEORY I swear it the last one for this week.

@feltpool just enlightened me and showed me many dots we should connect.

The artifact. It's the same shape as the tree on Pabu. I was told the island might be an old Jedi Temple or where Siths once resided. Apparently Pabu is an island on Scarif (a planet where a very important Impartial base will or is already being built. A base with Death Star plans)

What if this artifact does not come from any culture but it a key to control the island or whatever is underneath it. Phee surely paid a lot of money to get it. Shep said they had not had a sea surge in like 3 decades, the warning alarm came out too late. Tremors were normal, yes but what if someone with a help of something could control their strength.

I rewarched the scene and it clear to see Phee doesn't even go toward the Archium were the artifacts are supposed be storaged.

It's also weird the sea surge happened exactly the same day as the batch arrived along with Phee and the artifact.

If we assume that Pabu is an old or ancient Sith temple and was just activated, we can have the Empire, led by Siths, to come on the island, simply to check what actived it.

Is she working for the Empire? Does she see a opportunity to gain something from all of it? Don't know. It is unclear to me what Phee would do it for. FOR NOW.

But the more I think about her, and the more I look closer to her words and actions I think sometimes off. A friend who told me their theory about Phee, explained to me that the whole show is referring to certain movies. They see Phee being a reference to, at first Indiana Jones but now they think she might be a reference to Indiana's enemies who looks for acient treasures, artifacts etc. for pure gain and not for these objects' cultural significance. We have no idea what's inside that Archium. We're just expected to blindly trust her.

She avoids answering questions directly. Answers questions with more questions. Maybe it's just her habit or maybe not.

Phee and Cid "friendship" is also suspicious. When we meet Phee where does she sits? On Cids chair, with her legs on Cid's desk and Cid is standing before her like a loyal servant. It looked like she owned the place. Phee didn't return the cup back to Cid, she dropped it and didn't care if she catches it. It's almost like she's the boss on Ord Mantell, not Cid.

If my theory about Cid is true, the one who betrayed Cid and got the Empire on Ord Mantell might be Phee. The Empire might have their radar set on the batch after the whole Zello beast drama. They maybe put an award for those who catch them. There are many possibilities.

Also, her and Cowder or whatever his name was seemed to know each other for a while, he knew she always worked alone and he probably trade a lot of this with her. Why would he try to kill her for a tree statue? Either he wanted to kill her for some personal reason, maybe she's too dangerous and she needed to be finally dealt with OR because the artifact has much more value than we all know. High enough to kill for it.

She definitely found a way to manipulate the batchers. Hunter with Omega, Wrecker with food and relax, Tech...well self explanatory, Omega with fun and play. She was lucky Echo left cause he would be hardest to manipulate. If anything Echo's intuition is something to be feared off. Why did they always got on trouble? Cause they didn't listen to him.

I saw a post of someone saying that on the screenshot of Echo returning, the background looks like Pabu. We will have all whole squad in one place.

I was also thinking about Tech. I always saw the og batch with Hunter as the senses, Crosshair as eyes, Wrecker as strength, Tech as the brain. She had no problem with Hunter, Wrecker and Omega. But she surly has to pay more attention to the brain of the squad, the man who has a head on his shoulders.

I love theories so much. They're fun so please don't get worked up cause it goes against your feelings. No matter what the ending will be, I think we all should expect a big thing happening soon and I feel it's gonna be a big plot twist.

Do I wish for Phee to be the traitor? No I don't wish it but I wouldn't be angry if she was. I personally love villains, most of the time they have the best background story, better charisma and their scenes are much more enjoyable. Phee would be an awesome hero and an awesome villain. So would Cid.

#the bad batch #the bad batch theory #tbb #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #clone force 99 #tbb crosshair #tbb cid #tbb phee #phee #the bad batch season two

[suffarustuffaru]

hey so not too long ago, i saw a post from rz twitter that said that during the first loop where subaru meets otto, when subaru met the witch cultists and were chanting something to subaru before they left, that these cultists left because some outsider (who's therefore an enemy to their witch and its prophecy) was nearby. And the tweet said how that "nearby outsider" was actually otto who stayed behind because he was worried that subaru, (whom he met only as a customer in that loop and otto had already fulfilled his job) would succumb to danger. And despite frufoo's warnings, it's heavily implied that otto had in fact died in that loop waiting for subaru to come back. And the replies were saying that it's common knowledge?

First of all, is that true? I can see how one would come to the conclusion that the cultists left because otto, an outsider, was nearby. But i haven't seen proof of the implication that otto died from that loop. Secondly, with this perhaps being true, does that confirm that any loop in which otto was nearby and subaru is in danger, that otto risked his life for him? Some ppl say "but the whale incident!" But like you said way earlier, otto came back to him after pushing him off, and it's implied that he died trying to save subaru. There's no loop i can recall otto leaving him to the dust, even when he doesn't know who subaru is. And thirdly, Otto get some self-preservation skills, you barely knew the guy and already risk your life for him. What the fuck.

HAH anon your ask intrigued me so much i immediately went to the anime to try and confirm this. and bc the anime is the closest bit of info i got wjdndn i dont have arc 3 ln or access to arc 3 wn (i do not understand japanese either, sadly) but!! while the anime doesnt explicitly confirm otto died in that first loop his character debuted in, i think its definitely a possibility that he died to the witch cult there. (if anyone knows the lore on this for sure though feel free to add?? yeah)

also regarding about whether this is common knowledge or not—id argue its kind of not, at least in certain circles, bc im gonna be completely real i had to double check the anime to see how well i remembered it bc its 1. been a while since i’ve watched season 1 in full and 2. when i was looking at it on my first watch i was focused more so on what the hell was happening to subaru, rem, emilia camp rather than otto, who at the time seems like just some random guy who wont appear ever again. but also maybe im a little too used to people misinterpreting rezero over on reddit ajfbdnd bc some people STILL completely forget that otto went back after pushing subaru off the wagon. and some people still forget ottos died for subaru even though its super obvious in arc 4?? so i dont think ottos involvement with subaru across loops is really common knowledge? or at the very least its not common for Certain portions of the rezero fandom bc i see ottos whole fixation on subaru gets glossed over at times. but i do genuinely think moments like the first loop with otto are probably easy to sort of miss if youre not paying attention. but also again i might be a little bit brainwashed by rezero redditors misreading things bc the amount of people that forget otto went back for subaru in the white whale loop made me doubt my own memory of that scene to the point where i rewatched it in the anime just to be sure wkdndnd. i dont really see any english rezero people talk about this loop in particular too unless theyre referring to you know, rem arlam and emilia camp dying. but anyway moving on for now…

alright!! lets go over this scene i suppose. the anime doesnt go into like. Specifics, like how the tweets you mention do anon, but it does have some interesting stuff.

in the anime, the first loop with otto happens in episode 14 to about the beginning of 15, but the focus is of course more so on subaru, rem, arlam, etc, bc rem left for the mansion and subarus trying to get there quickly so he pays otto to do that. otto takes the time to warn him before they even set off, not only for his own sake but also for subarus:

but you know, bc ottos desperate for money bc hes in debt, he takes up the job. but once otto and subaru actually get to the road leading up to arlam and the mansion, otto stops bc frufoo’s frightened and shes warning them of danger—

but subaru being subaru jumps off anyway and leaves. he says this quickly before he goes:

otto replies by trying to call out to him desperately as he runs away:

your point about ottos self preservation is super interesting anon because otto DOES have self preservation skills. he almost kind of prides himself on it, sometimes—as a merchant, especially from a merchant family, hes been raised to treasure it. to go for things that work in his favor. especially with his bad luck fucking him over too. and he can be slightly morally ambiguous at times, so he is Very aware of self preservation and staying out of trouble. but at the same time, leaving behind innocents does kind of weigh on him bc. well hes still human. that and the further into rezero you get, the more clear it is that ottos self preservation skills just get thrown out the window the moment he sees subaru. like otto takes a significant amount of time on screen to complain about danger or trouble hes found himself in, or go on and on about how the moment he sees danger, hes just gonna turn around and run—but its just COMPLETE AND TOTAL BULLSHIT SOMETIMES. he has plenty of chances Every Time to turn around and run and the moment subaru enters the picture, he doesnt take it. the only exception to this was him leaving subaru in greed if, but thats because he saw that subaru didnt give a shit about him and even then. he made that choice FOR subaru’s sake too, bc he recognizes that greed if subaru is just gonna micromanage everything and deal with it on his own. otto knows he’d just be another burden to subaru, so he leaves to lessen the load.

main route otto though? yeah youre absolutely right his self preservation is way beyond dead at this point. his self preservation is absolutely gone when it comes to subaru. this first loop is an example of it—while of course ottos you know treating subaru like a stranger bc thats what they are, he goes out of his way to warn subaru repeatedly. at first it looks like its mostly just for his own benefit bc hes Also in danger here, but then he says that he cant just accept taking subarus money and items. he talked about how hed accept subarus payment just a few minutes before this?? and we know in retrospect that he desperately NEEDS money bc hes in debt??? and subarus giving him an out right now to just leave and not look back but he still hesitates and frantically tries calling after subaru??? he has EVERYTHING to gain from just taking the money and subarus things and just leaving, but we dont actually see him leave on screen.

and then right after this, we cut to subaru running to arlam. of course, the witch cult stops him, and in the anime, all they do is circle him, then bow (to foreshadow how the witch cult + petelgeuse think that hes one of them, im assuming), and then they disappear without saying a single word.

its interesting to note though that when they leave, they run towards the direction subaru just came from. which is where otto was.

and then subaru keeps continuing on to arlam and the mansion where he finds out that the witch cult Basically wiped everyone out there. episode 15 continues this loop and then quickly ends it bc subaru is having a mental breakdown finding everyones corpses and then he promptly proceeds to die to puck (iirc?) inside the mansion. and thats all the details the anime gives about the ending of this loop. so no clear hint like the white whale loop that otto Died from this, but i think the implication is definitely there if you choose to read into it. (again, im not sure if the ln adds more details to this or not, but iirc the anime doesnt touch on this much.)

its strange that the witch cultists that find subaru just. up and leave in the direction where we Know otto likely is, bc 1. the cultists move Fast and 2. only a couple minutes passed at most, so its likely that otto is Still There, even if he did start trying to leave. even then though, i think its in character for him to still be there and try to wait for subaru. or, at the very least, otto waited there debating with himself on whether he should just leave or not. waiting there satisfies both his self preservation and the guilt he’d feel if he just abandoned subaru—he doesnt go any further to minimize the danger to himself and frufoo, but he doesnt completely leave just in case subaru comes back or if otto decides to move forward and check on subaru or something. but then we see subaru find everyone at arlam and the mansion dead, and we the audience know the surviving witch cultists left in the opposite direction (where otto is) after killing everyone at arlam, so—i think theres a connection there. as in: yeah. if otto was still there, hes probably dead.

additionally, of course later in arc 3 we see that otto gets captured by the witch cult. this time he was captured bc the witch cult caught him hurrying to get to another location for its job offer, so the witch cult captured him to interrogate him on what exactly he was doing iirc?? so in that sense yeah he was caught by the witch cult for being an outsider getting into witch cult territory while they were in the middle of doing shit (and he likely wouldve been killed if ricardo and the others hadnt rescued him) o.O

but yeah thats all the animes got regarding the first loop (aka ottos official debut into the main story as well)!!!

“There's no loop i can recall otto leaving him to the dust, even when he doesn't know who subaru is." also anon youre so right for saying this bc. yeah i cant recall any loops either bc every time otto is there near subaru. hes risking his life for subaru. hes so incredibly ride or die that its concerning. it kind of boggles my mind that some people overfixate on how he pushed subaru out of the wagon in the white whale loop and YEAH that was fucked up, but not only does he feel bad and die trying to go back for subaru later, but when you watch that scene in the anime and think about it from ottos perspective. yeah some guy you just fucking met is yelling at you about how you apparently forgot about some person youve never heard of in your life, hes yelling at you to go back and TOWARDS THE WHITE WHALE when all youre trying to do is save both of your asses, he starts trying to wrestle with you while youre both being hunted down by the whale, and then he starts rambling to himself about how maybe its his fault the white whale is chasing after both of you while you keep hearing the white whales deranged thoughts in your head the whole time bc of your dp??? its a miracle otto didnt push subaru out of that damn wagon sooner and its a miracle otto even decided to go back for subaru after all that T^TT any person in ottos shoes would be RUSHING to push subaru out of that wagon.

but like. once you think about it - yeah Every Time in the main route that ottos been near subaru and theyve gotten into danger? otto actively puts himself at risk for subarus sake. and he doesnt always die or get hurt for it, but we know that he ALWAYS goes out of his way to help subaru. hes been like this since his debut in arc 3, practically, regardless of whether or not he actually died there. bc he still Lingered around and tried to warn subaru not to leave.

so what im saying is that so much of ottos screentime is spent helping subaru in some way.

#rezero #ask #otto suwen #natsuki subaru #ngl if otto was a girl literally no one in this fandom would be ignoring how fixated and concerningly ride or die he gets about subaru o.o

[weirdcat1213]

Conventional weapons and queer acceptance

I'm going through it rn so here's a really long post on a queer interpretation of Conventional Weapons.

Notes:

-Yes, I will talk about every song. No song is safe from me.

-No, I don't think it is the only/correct interpretation but its one that I've been thinking about for ages so leave me alone :D

-I know these songs were recorded separately and they don't have a linear story (like revenge or tbp) but for the sake of angst, I will treat the whole album as a queer journey where the speaker is the main character, also I will use they/them for them because the album itself talks a lot about gender.

-"Some of these are more about the system and protests rather than queerness" guess what? those go hand in hand even though it's 2023, life sucks.

-I will use "queer" instead of LGBTQ+. That debate does not belong here but I'm just giving a heads up.

TW: homophobia, transphobia, conversion therapy, unhealthy coping mechanisms (?), aids crisis, society just being shitty in general

Let's start :3

Album context: CW is not a concept album (sadly). The band had ideas for these songs since their TBP tour and didn't think it was fit for Danger Days so they only released them because Frank thought they were cool (bless his soul he was so right). Therefore, these songs' messages/perspectives/feelings may vary.

Boy Division:

*The first two songs have a handgun on the cover. This weapon is a small and distant weapon, portraying the distance the speaker wants to have with queerness since they're still in the closet*

From a queer perspective, this song is about the speaker's closeted life as a queer person. The song asks people close to him how would they react if they were to find out about they are queer. The speaker already knows the answer, people would be disgusted and reject them entirely, making the speaker mad. It can be assumed the speaker is at their last straw here and leave their home behind to live their truth.

"If all my enemies

Threw a party, would you light the candles?

Would you drink the wine while watchin' television?

Watch the animals and all the tragedies

And sell your arteries to buy my casket gown"

Enemies in this context are homophobic/transphobic people. If the speaker admitted to being queer, would their loved ones pretend the speaker is "dead"? Would they side with the homophobic/transphobic people?

"Well, it better be black and it better be tight

And it better be just my size

I'm stalkin' these metro malls and airport halls

And all these schoolgirls"

This may be a reference to the kind of stereotypes the speaker's loved ones believe about queer people. About how they stalk people in public and "try to convert minors"

"I'm not askin', you're not tellin'

He's not dead, he only looks that way"

The speaker not asking anymore if the people they know support queer people/if they would support them. The part about "him" not being dead could be how their relatives see the situation from the outside. The speaker is apathetic because of their situation but no one knows.

"Out nowhere, take me out there

Far away and save me from my

Self-destruction, hopeless for you

Sing a song for California"

They're in the middle of nowhere, and they wish to be in a more accepted place, putting California as an example (is this true? idk I don't live there)

"I bought my enemies

Rope to hang me and the knives to gang me

You can watch them stab me on your television

Stomp the halls, because the bathroom walls

Would have a lot to say

About the lines you're puttin' down"

This is the speaker's way to say he is one of the queers their loved ones hate so much. The speaker "bought" the rope by admitting their queerness and they might as well be the ones on the TV getting ganged up on because of their identity. When they mention the bathroom it could be a reference to how there are worst things happening that transphobic gatekeeping bathrooms, such as people doing drugs.

"Well, it better be white and better be cut

And better be just my size

Until my capillaries burst of boredom

I'll be waitin"

Instead of funeral attire, now they want to use wedding attire because they feel alive by coming out, hence the white. If we assume they were rejected by their loved ones, the speaker will wait for them to come around until they get bored. The speaker's capillaries are a symbol of their patience.

"I'm not laughin', you're not jokin'

I'm not dead, I only dress that way"

The speaker dresses as if they're dead not only because they could be at any time due to harassment but also because they feel dead being in a place they can't be themselves. It could also be a reference to gender expression and the speaker experimenting for the first time.

"'Cause we got the bomb, we got the bomb, let's go!

We got the bomb, we got the bomb, let's go!"

This could mean queer people (we) are fighting back society (the bomb) and the speaker feels inspired.

"Say a prayer for California"

A prayer for California so it can stay as a place the speaker can run to and be free.

Tomorrows Money:

This one is about the speaker's views about capitalism and taking a stand as an activist against corporations and rainbow capitalism. The speaker knows queer people aren't welcome and yet they're still used for profit, however, we could say the song's pov is from the speaker and the corporations. The song also makes an argument about how capitalism actively makes queer people's lives even more difficult.

"You fell in love with a vampire

Do you wanna get it for free

In this song, vampires are associated with queer people and their experiences (just like many movies about vampires and other monsters have done in history). Getting one for free would be to get to live the experience of a queer person instead of seeing it externally (in a movie, show, book, etc)

"Then say hello to the brush fire, baby

You gotta take it from me, I’m gonna take it from you

Say hello to the good times

And burning up in the sun"

According to corporations, the speaker can live out as a queer person, but they will have to face conflict against capitalism, a model that is mostly known for taking things away from people.

They’re sitting back on an empire

While the world lays back, puts a kid behind that gun

This is the speaker's view about capitalism and the world. Corporations and their owners are living comfortably while they leave the most vulnerable minorities to deal with the dirty work.

"If we crash this time

They got machines to keep us alive

When the mixtape plays

Choke down the words with no meaning"

This refers to how queer people can't seem to escape capitalism. If they get hurt while protesting or get sick, they will still need to get (most of the time in most places at least) private health insurance to get good medical attention. When talking about the mixtape, it can also be referring to the multiple products corporations do for queer people (see the "pride merch" on june). But when you analyze the final products, it is clear that it lacks meaning and it was only made for profit.

"I stopped bleeding three years ago

While you keep screaming for revolution

Me and my surgeons and my street-walking friends

We got no heroes, 'cause our heroes are dead"

Here the speaker is personally calling out corporations for their meaningless support. While they and other people have been protesting and taking care of themselves within their community, corporations keep shouting out their outdated "love is love" slogan and keep repeating their empty promises about equality. The speaker, the "surgeons" (people who focus and live to take care of the queer community as volunteers/nonprofit organizations), and more activists keep protesting for a better future but also for the people who came before them and died for the cause (for example multiple people during the aids crisis)

"Say hello to the program

We’re gonna give it for free

Hook up the veins to the antibodies

Got it with the disease, we’re gonna give it to you"

This verse could be considered queer representation in media and how it helps queer people even if it ends up being queerbating. Corporations give queer people the content and even if there are no official queer people in it, subtext and further readings into the media help people to see themselves in the story and/or characters, they work as antibodies against society.

"Say goodbye to the good times

You’re loaded up with the fame

You’re dressing up like a virus

But the words get lost when we all look the same"

The most popular and famous logo (and stand) corporations take in pride month is the rainbow. They don't specify anything and just keep it open to appeal to most people as possible. Although queer people have taken the rainbow as a general symbol for everyone when corporations use it is because there is no interest in other people who aren't the "classic" cisgender white gay male, there's no meaning on their rainbow. All the rainbow logos in June end up looking like a virus taking over for a month rather than support.

"You fell in love with a vampire, torch up for the empire

Say hello to the brush fire, the microphone's got a tap wire

You fell in love with a vampire, torch up for the empire

Say hello to the brush fire, the microphone's got a tap wire!"

In this verse, the speaker is possibly talking to a multitude. They make a reference to the vampire analogy but also says that if they want to live free queer people need to get rid of the corporations. No matter how many problems they face they have to be careful since they're still under capitalism and being watched.

"Because rebellion's not a T-shirt you sell

You keep your money, and I’ll see you in hell"

Many queer people have that reaction when companies don't support queer people's rights but sell queer products on pride month. The speaker rejects rainbow capitalism and will see the company in hell since, according to religious fanatics, that's where queer people are going.

*I find this topic (capitalism vs the queers) really interesting but I honestly don't know much about it but this is a cool video I recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xQVFYWvd3o&t=1449s)

Ambulance:

*The second disc has a picture of a small knife, a weapon of short range that requires the user to get really closer to the opponent. This represents the speaker's change from their involvement with the queer community; they went from keeping their distance to putting themselves out there as an activist*

Ambulance, under a queer context, is about the queer community and the love the speaker has for them since they have helped after they cut ties with their family in "Boy Division."

You don’t know a thing about this life, and we are up for

Everything it takes to prove we’re not the same as them

The speaker could be talking to someone new when it comes to activism. They want to motivate the new recruit but also be honest about what is like to constantly be on the line. The queer community will never be like the people who can easily thrive in a heteronormative society because the queer community looks out for every minority (let's ignore dumb organizations like lgb for this, they suck)

"And we will wear our masks again, out after dark

'Cause we are up for everything it takes

and we are not the same

'Cause we are not afraid

And we are not ashamed"

This part is about how they protect themselves while defending themselves and how they are not ashamed of fighting for what's right publicly.

"And if you save my life, I’ll be the one who drives

You home tonight

And if I ever let you down, I’ll be the one who drives

You home tonight"

One of the things that the speaker appreciates most about the queer community is how they take care of each other. If one of them gets hurt, they will help each other. No matter what happens everyone looks out for everyone.

"Remember once, you walked this kind of life quietly, I’ll sleep

Behind the wheel, and passing every face you see the first time

Singing every piece as you walk by proving that with

All of my mistakes, that we are not the same"

The speaker is comparing themselves to other people in their group who have been in their position but also have had a completely different experience. Other people may have cope in healthier ways than the speaker, which makes them feel kind of guilty.

"'Cause we are not the same

And we are all to blame"

When it comes to protesting or activism is it always is the activists' fault if something bad happens. According to conservatives if anything goes south (police brutality, hate crimes, etc) is the queer people's fault for not being closeted, for "indoctrinating people".

"'Cause you don’t know a thing about me

, you don’t know a thing"

This is from the speaker to the people who have helped them in their life. They don't know who they were before but the community still took them in as family.

Gun:

Honestly, there's not much that this brilliant thread hasn't already said. La (the twitter user) suggests that "the song's main theme is obviously a young person entering the military, which is known for having a strict structure and very precise rules to follow and roles to fill. in this case, I believe the military could represent the cis, heteronormative society"

See the rest of the thread here :D

https://twitter.com/zhongmcr/status/1560384799101124614?t=emxookpnkny0c5iYV4fmdw&s=19

Please read it and send @/zhongmcr some love for it.

The World is Ugly:

*The machine guns reflect more intensity as an attack. The speaker is going deeper in being vocal about the queer community on this disc.*

The world is ugly is, of course, a romantic song. When analyzing it through queer lenses, however, it can be about the speaker getting strong feelings for someone but still being afraid of confessing their feelings, even if the other person is also queer, because are traumatized by past experiences while in the closet.

"These are the eyes and the lies of the taken These are their hearts But their hearts don't beat like ours They burn 'cause they are all afraid"

The speaker usually gets that feeling of "them against the world", but it is different with the person they are interested in. The speaker feels they have a connection and they are together while being against the world.

"For every one of us There's an army of them But you'll never fight alone 'Cause I wanted you to know"

Conservative people are "afraid" of queer people and it has made their lives difficult but when they're together it doesn't matter.

"That the world is ugly But you’re beautiful to me Well are you thinking of me now?"

The heteronormative society is a pain for the speaker and the love interest but the speaker wants to make clear that their love interest is beautiful no matter what society says.

"These are the nights And the lights that we fade in These are the words But the words aren't coming out

They burn 'cause they are hard to say"

This part is more personal for the speaker. They reminisce on all the nights they have spent with their love interest and how on those they have tried to tell how they feel, but the speaker cannot say it out loud.

"For every failing sun, there's a morning after Though, I'm empty when you go I just wanted you to know"

The speaker comforts themselves with the fact that they can try the next day, but at the same time, they keep living with the pain of their love interest not knowing.

"That the world is ugly But you're beautiful to me Are you thinking of me Like I'm thinking of you?"

The speaker wonders if their love interest thinks about them the same way or if they have another kind of relationship.

"I would say I'm sorry, though Though, I really need to go I just wanted you to know

I wanted you to know I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you Every night, every day"

In this verse, the speaker implies they usually focus on activism and things that will help their community rather than their own feelings. They have to go and keep helping others but still wants to let their feelings come across.

"These are the lies And the lives of the taken These are their hearts But their hearts don't beat like ours They burn 'cause they are all afraid But mine beats twice as hard"

Because the speaker is really focused on others but also wants to be with their love interest, they are passionate about 2 things.

"Stop your crying, helpless feeling Dry your eyes and start believing There's one thing They’ll never take from you"

The speaker goes back to their "mentor mode" and inspires their love interest to believe in a better future. However, they also reference how the world can never take their love interest's beauty away.

"One day, like this We'll never be the same Never, forever Like ghosts in the snow Like ghosts in the sun"

This is the speaker dreaming of what their life could be only with their love interest. They would just be people exploring the world.

The Light Behind Your Eyes:

This song is about a guide saying goodbye to people or a person whom they have helped in the past. Under a queer interpretation, it could be from the point of view of an elder queer passing away who was really important to the speaker.

"So long to all my friends Every one of them met tragic ends With every passing day I'd be lying if I didn't say That I miss them all tonight"

The elder queer is possibly passing away and is thinking about the friends they got to make within the community. By saying their friends met tragic ends it could refer to the aids crisis or hate crimes.

"And if they only knew what I would say If I could be with you tonight I would sing you to sleep Never let them take the light behind your eyes"

Just like the elder queer, their friends used to help people in the community, and they would approve the last reassuring words of the elder. The elder wishes they would be alive and well to see a better future but for now, they can only hope people stop harming queer people.

"As we fade in the dark Just remember you will always burn as bright"

The older queer people may have passed away but they want the younger generations to have a good life.

"Be strong and hold my hand Time, it comes for us, you'll understand We'll say goodbye today And I'm sorry how it ends this way If you promise not to cry Then I'll tell you just what I would say"

This shows the elder was really appreciated in the community since they have people with them in their final moments. They wish they would not be leaving that way (probable aids) but they still think younger generations need to learn about the problem and be strong enough to face it.

"I'll fail and lose this fight"

The elder already knows their own fate.

"Sometimes we must grow stronger And you can't be stronger when I'm gone When I'm here, no longer You must be stronger and"

The elder knows it will be hard for future generations who still feel like they need guidance to survive, but they hope the people they leave behind get stronger.

"I failed and lost this fight"

The elder queer couldn't avoid their future, as if from the beginning, it was meant to happen.

When the outro keeps repeating it could reflect how those are actually the last words (or at least sentiment) of the elder, and it will stay present in the community for a long time.

Kiss the Ring:

*This disc has two axes on the cover. Additionally, from here on out there are 2 weapons on the covers, which means the speaker is not alone anymore, but with someone who shares their "them against the world" feeling.*

Kiss the Ring is another song about the speaker's feelings against the system. However, this one and the next song in the disc have more rage on them. The speaker starts to lash out at authority and politicians who keep failing queer people.

"We kill the girls to get paid And put the whole damn room on the edge of the blade You'll get far, stay clean"

The speaker is mocking society's standards for people. They set dangerous beauty stereotypes only to get women to buy their products, reject measures that could help queer people (hormone treatment, counseling, etc) even if they know people could die because of the lack of it, and attribute failure to substances such as alcohol and drugs. Some queer people will turn to those substances because of the lack of support because society keeps making it hard to live, but big institutions don't care.

"And if the world stops believing, I'll keep believing

That the world could make a change (All I know is I won't stop believing) And put the suicide dolls as the last ones to mate (All I know is I won't stop believing)"

Although the speaker still has faith in a better future, they are angry about society putting queer people in a complicated position. Queer people create their own communities because they are pushed by the people who refuse to let them live. They insult and make everything more complicated up to the point of giving queer people trauma and mental health issues. The queer people affected by this are the only ones left to help themselves and others. Queer people are left at the back where they find each other.

"Come hard, stay clean (You're the next if you don't stop your creeping) And singing songs for the damned now (You're the next if you)"

The line on the back "You're the next if you don't stop your creeping" could be the authority's opinion about queer people: you will get in trouble if you are out/"explicit". Additionally, the songs for the damned could be a metaphor for people who think praying/conversion therapy will work as a "cure" for queerness.

"Hail! Hail! 'Cause the king is gone And if you don't stop believing, we'll keep believing"

This part could mean how conservatives celebrate when something bad happens to a politician or anyone famous who is in favor of queer rights. They tend to believe that there is a leader (like the people who believe there is an ANTIFA leader), but queer people will keep protesting and believing in a better life for everyone.

"You put the record on And live the life that you're making, shots that you're taking"

"So grab the cash and run And let the suits watch each other kill one another"

This is the speaker starts to get reckless. For them, it has become a matter of taking back at society. They want to live their life the best as they can, so they let themselves enjoy music, drink, and commit crimes since they will end up in trouble anyway for being queer. They steal money because they need it but also to get a sense of power over their life. The "suits" in this case would be politicians, the ones who say they want to help queer people against the ones who want them dead. Even if someone is fighting the good fight the speaker doesn't care for them anymore.

It doesn't matter if the words don't mean a thing You gotta kiss that ring"

The words could be the empty promises some politicians do to queer people. Many of them beg them to vote to protect their rights only to back off when it really matters. Kissing the ring means the absurdity of respecting people, authority figures, and institutions (the government) who don't want to be held accountable for queer people's rights.

"Move like the wolves, keep the faith There ain't a dry eye left in the back of the place Is it hard to stay clean?"

The speaker warns their community about the government since politicians don't have empathy for them (dry eyes)

"And if you all keep believing, I'll keep believing That the world drives the saints (All I know is I won't stop believing) And put the shotgun shells in the hills it makes (All I know is I won't stop believing)"

In this verse, the speaker mocks how authority loves to praise "pacific protests" but will still kill them. Most of the time when queer people organize a pacific gathering, they are met with violent repression.

"So come hard, stay clean (You're the next if you don't stop your creeping) Because they don't give a damn, now (You're the next if you)"

The speaker believes after so many failures that no politician cares for queer people.

"You got your leather on And live the life that you're making, shots that you're taking"

This could be referring to what kind of clothing queer people "tend" to wear. The idea is to just wear whatever you want and live your life.

"Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is, the king is gone

Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail!"

Queer people celebrate a supposed leader that never existed because it is not about leaders, but the community.

"Fist up, head down Hail, hail to the king"

In this verse since the king is not "gone" it could mean the community is celebrating itself. They will keep fighting even if there's the risk of something bad happening, which is why they put their head down as a sign of being prepared for the worst.

Make Room:

Make Room is mainly the speaker setting the people who do not accept queer people or pretend to be allies as zombies. Queer people are most of the time used for gossip, instead of being treated as real people. The people who only care about gossip and getting to know who came out just to be disrespectful about it are people who do not have reasoning skills, making them zombies.

"Make room! Make room! Down on the coffin,​ there's a coffin or two Dead chic, so cool The cannibals are starving when they're looking at you"

This verse is about how dead queer people are seen just as numbers. The cisgender straight people's main concern most of the time is the funeral (what will people say, how to present the dead queer person etc), reflected on the line about the coffins. The dead girl represents dead queer people who attracted attention, making the zombies (society) wild to get the news and learn about everything that went wrong. They just want the gossip.

"Tank tops, jet stream Karate lessons with a killing machine White lines, nose bleeds I know you get excited when the cameras go Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta"

The speaker refers here to the kind of people who talk and treat queer people as means for gossip. They can be relaxed in their summer clothes with their private jets and do questionable things (drugs as mentioned with "white lines"), people with privilege. They get excited when a famous person reveals themselves to be queer and are able to get every single detail, however, they don't know (or don't care) that the spotlight can be stressful and harmful for famous queer people who come out. This is reflected by the "ratatata" the cameras make.

"Me and you, and all of this living dead Burning up in the sun, where the bodies add Sitting here with you, in misery Anybody gonna come and rescue me? La la la"

Here the speaker is talking with another queer person about how stressful people can be. They have to endure their questions and actions but even if they are miserable, they are together. The speaker's petition for someone to rescue them is mocking how some people "became" queer because the community pressured them into being queer.

"Make room! Make room! One day, you're gonna have explaining to do

Drag star, so cool There's only room for one man and the one is you, you, you"

This verse is just multiple wrong arguments that people make about queer people. A popular argument that homophobic/transphobic people use against queer people is how are they "going to explain" their identity or sexuality to others such as kids, elders, etc. Those kinds of people also have problems with drag artists. They may say they are letting drag artists live their lives, but they pressure them and their gender expression, reminding drag artists they are men and have to act like it. This argument is not only wrong because not all drag queens identify as men, but also does not consider drag kings.

"Got a taste for the cash and androgyny Anybody wanna come and rescue me?"

Androgyny is considered the combination of man and woman. This combination seems fashionable for multiple people and companies have decided to adopt it for profit. If it looks pretty it will sell. Multiple companies will present an androgynous person/model and show it off as their "queer representation".

"Well alright, well alright She's alright Everybody in the room is alright"

This could be a reference to the dead girl first mentioned in the song. Most people just want to pretend nothing bad is happening and that queer people are okay if comparing these times to years ago.

"Everybody wants to change the world Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die!"

"We are never gonna change the world We are never gonna change the world 'Cause we are never gonna die!"

I see this as what the speaker thinks about activism after being vocal about queer issues during the whole album. They know protesting and being an activist is important for the queer community, and if they want society to change there will be sacrifices that no one wants to do. However, they also want to be happy and have a life of their own with the person they like. Maybe the change will be delayed and they will keep fighting for it, but not to the point of putting their happiness on the line anymore.

Surrender the Night:

*These last two songs have grenades on the cover because these ones are the tipping point for the speaker. They are done hiding their emotions and will explode at any second. It's a more aggressive weapon than the rest. The songs still talk about how society sucks for queer people, but the main focus for the speaker is the person they like and showing their feelings.*

Surrender the Night is a continuation (kind of) of The World is Ugly. If on The World is Ugly the speaker was afraid of confessing their feelings, on Surrender the Night they decide to be selfish and take control of the situation, take control of what makes them happy for once.

Everyone's a passenger, tonight Just another accidental on the freeway of this life

This night is important for the speaker, anything else doesn't matter.

We'll drive on and on and on and on We'll drive on and on And I'll remember this night when you're gone

The speaker and the love interest will leave everything behind, and the speaker wants their love interest to remember that night forever.

You surrender your heart I surrender every dream

Every weapon you've got Every secret that I keep

This is a deal the speaker proposes as a way to confess their feelings. If their love interest accepts being with them, nothing else will matter to the speaker. They will protect the love interest and will be completely honest with them.

You can fight this, all you want But tonight belongs to...

The love interest can fairly reject the speaker, but just for that one night, they will have to listen to what the speaker has to say.

Just another surgery, tonight Well, if you amputate the loneliness Anesthesia dims the lights

This is the speaker's opinion about their love interest. They are a complicated person who ignores their own problems by distracting themselves as if they wanted to disassociate from life and the pain. The speaker tells them they can do that, they can ignore their problems but by rejecting their emotions, they will also miss the good moments.

So dream on and on and on and on So dream on and on And I'll remember your eyes when you're gone

In this verse, the speaker encourages their love interest to follow their dreams instead of disassociating from life, and even if they don't end up together the speaker will remember them.

And I'll watch you in your sleep 'Cause tonight belongs to me You can fight this, all you want But tonight belongs to

The speaker will watch the other person sleep as a way to protect them and make sure they don't run away.

Sparks against the railing Distant phantoms wailing Through the windshield, sailing With these airbags failing

Here, the speaker is honest about how their lives will be if they're together. There will be chaos, people will talk, and they won't be able to control some situations.

But tonight belongs to me But tonight belongs to me But tonight belongs to me

The speaker reassures this to their love interest, expecting an answer.

Burn Bright:

And finally, we get to talk about my baby, the creme of the gays. This song in general is about finally accepting who you are, living as you want, and loving whoever you want; even if you know people are against it. If following the story from the previous song, this song is where they get together with their love interest and start a relationship. The speaker knows it won't be easy but they don't care.

So give me all you've got

I can take it

We walked alone in your city lights

Did you make it?

We lit the fire and it's burning bright

Did you take it?

Kissed all the boys in your city lights

Did you make it?

Left all the stars in your city nights

Can you fake it?

I lost my way in your city lights

Glad you made it

We stole the fire

And it's burning bright

Fire/stars/light is represented as strength the queer person has found in their identity, and it burns so brightly at the end of the album that they won't hide it anymore. Now that they have met another queer person and they are both out, the speaker trusts that it is possible to live as who you truly are, and they are not willing to hide anymore.

Not ashamed of what I am

I took the pills

For these empty nights

'Cause it makes me who I am

The speaker is not ashamed anymore of being queer but they still remember how it felt. How they had to cope with unhealthy copy because of the suffering of being against the world.

"They always told me that

"You never get to heaven"

With a love like yours

Well if you're lost little boy

The cameras pull you right back down, yeah"

Social/ expectations opinions are a heavy theme in the album, and it continues in the last song. It is not uncommon that society to treat queer people as little kids who don't know what they want or at least "should" want. Society will tell queer people that the way they want to love and/or exist is wrong. If a person dares to do something not straight or gender not conforming, society is there, like cameras, to judge that vulnerable moment and show it as a mistake. The speaker reflects on religion telling others "you won't get to heaven based on the things that you do" because people still use religion to discriminate against queer people.

"It's like a chemical burn

I'm peeling off your skin, yeah

And when you see your face

Well you'll never be the same again, yeah"

Queer people have to hear bad news, insults, misinformation, etc. every day. It takes a great toll mentally that can make people and that can be manifested physically, to the point that it hurts and/or to the point that people start noticing. Sadly, it's a kind of pain queer people have to live with for now until who knows when.

"Cause if you just stop breathing

I'll stop, stop my heart

I'll stop breathing too

[...]

Not ashamed of what I am

I'd trade the world for your city nights

'Cause it makes me who I am"

Queer people rely on each other, and the speaker relies on their significant other. The speaker would give up everything for the experiences they will get to share together.

"And though I missed the chance for this

I confess that I can't wait

Until it's gone

No I mean this every single day

Don't go if you got more to say

'Cause the world don't need

Another hopeless cause"

The speaker makes a small confession here. They are tired of society, of hiding, of fighting. They want the whole world to disappear just so they can be happy. They don't want to be part of "the fight" to make things better but they don't have any other choice. For them, the world cannot afford people doing nothing.

"Though it makes me who I am

'Cause it makes me who I am

And you made me who I am

And you made me who I am

Be afraid of what I am"

Although the speaker is done with people who don't do anything to fight against a society that doesn't accept them, they recognize that's who they were for so long. But now their significant other gives them the strength to leave all doubts and fear behind. The speaker is warning the world to be afraid of them because they are done being afraid of the world.

"We walked around in your city lights

'Cause it makes me who I am

I burned it all but im doing fine

'Cause I'll never fade away

If I steal the fire from your city nights

'Cause it makes me who I am

Who I am"

The speaker borrows strength from their significant other to go against the world, and in doing so they burn (jeje) relationships with other people, but they are okay with it. They will survive now that they are strong enough to stand up for themselves.

Conventional weapons sets someone in multiple stages of queer life and use weapons to portray life as a war with oneself, expectations, and society.

FIN

tldr: cw is gay af argue with the wall

#mcr #my chemical romance #conventional weapons #burn bright #surrender the night #kiss the ring #make room #the world is ugly #the light behind your eyes #boy division #tomorrows money #ambulance #gun #queer #lgbtqia

[basket-of-loquats]

do you have any tips for drawing people? if not that okay! :D

oh geez i am far from an expert!! I feel like every time anyone asks me for drawing advice i always just say "look at reference pics and practice" but like it's so true... im entirely self taught so reference pics are the only sort of thing ive ever relied on, idk any fancy techniques or proportions or anything!! i'll try to think of something less basic tho fjhdasgjfasgh

tip 1: understand the flow and keep it loose! i personally get trapped in the nitty gritty details so easily so one thing im trying to practice is to keep sketches loose and flowy! otherwise the pose will look stiff and unnatural.

these were my sketching steps for my most recent namseok piece. as you can see the first one is the barest of the bare, literally just me trying to understand what the flow of the characters might look like. the next sketch works to retain that flow while still fleshing out the actual forms! i changed namjoon's flow considerably which is all part of the process of not taking anything too seriously and not being afraid to change things up.

tip 2: anatomy!! you don't Always have to draw the anatomy beneath clothes tbh depending on what you're going far or what clothes you're drawing BUT in this case with these unfamiliar poses and form-clinging clothes i knew i had to trace out some anatomy beforehand! obviously neither of them are that accurate, firstly because i didn't have a ref pic for them bc this was just a sketch piece that i wasn't letting myself get too serious about, and secondly because again this Is just one sketch layer and so i'm still not getting too bogged down in details! things like hands i still kept loose and open, while things like eh,,, legs and feet,,, you can see i struggled with more to keep that loose vibe. i'll practice more :))) in any case knowing the anatomy of a form is essential to drawing anything, but humans especially!!! before you dress them up make sure the parts all look right lol

tip 3: don't be afraid to experiment! human bodies can do some weird poses and things that you might think would look unnatural might actually work! I find this is super true with things like hands.

neither of their poses are super common or natural or things you'd see a human do irl but they still came out okay! again i didn't have a ref for this piece so it was definitely experimental and i had to draw their poses a couple times to get that flow down right, esp namjoon who has a relatively stiff pose but i still wanted it to look light and floaty! Namjoon's right hand is also in a pose that doesn't come very naturally and might not be accurate to what his hand would Actually be doing in this pose but it still looks good and was more fun to draw!

here's another example of this sort of "go with the flow" mindset! i didn't have a ref for this one either but after lots of experimenting with hoseok's hands placements i found this flowy maybe less than accurate one that i really liked!

idk if any of this makes sense or is helpful but they're just thinks i'm actively trying to keep in mind these days when i draw humans. thanks for the ask!

#loquat asks #art advice #art tips

[sirowsky]

Kittycat

Courtesy of the wonderful @little-mrs-morales this is my first attempt at Dieter Bravo. I haven't seen the film so this is a rough approximation, but hopefully entertaining all the same!

The prompt was "I'm not jealous", from this list which is the primary source of inspiration for this challenge. Please, send me more<3

Rating: Mature Warnings: Well, Dieter himself is kind of a warning, as I understand it... other than that, jealousy (obv), one or two lewd references, cursing, anger, reader insert but no y/n. Word Count: 1140 Author's Masterlist

   You’re fuming on the inside, but trying your best to keep it under wraps, for reasons you really can’t fathom, since he rightly deserves your anger.    He’s all but dragged you out of a very fancy restaurant and completely destroyed your chances with a really charming and sweet guy that you’ve been looking forward to having this date with, for over three months.

   “C’mon, Kitty, you can’t seriously be into that guy!?” he whines, while stalking behind you like some lost puppy, and that name -that stupid fucking nickname that he calls you just because he’s obsessed with fucking KitKats- finally makes you boil over.

   You could’ve kept yourself in control, despite the scene he’d caused, despite the childish and utterly self-serving act he’d put on in order to ruin your night, if not for that one unbearably irritating testament to his complete lack of respect for you.    Stopping on a dime and whirling around to face him so fast and with so much force that he careers into you and stumbles backwards before falling on his ass, you growl at him.

   “I am not a fucking candy-bar!!”

   He’s seen you annoyed, and frustrated, and utterly done with shit, but he’s never seen you angry. Not like this. Not the kind of anger that comes from the heart, and radiates unseen into the surrounding air, turning it heavy and ominous with darkness.    The kind of anger that can make a person do bad things.

   “I do like that guy, Dieter, that’s why I went on a date with him! You know, like people do when they actually like each other…” you all but snarl at him, and he shrinks where he still sits on the pavement, because he knows that you’re referring to more than just you and your date.

   “You’ve got some nerve coming here acting all jealous, after you’re the one that fucked up with me.” you finish, pointing a sharp index finger at him for emphasis.

   “I’m not jealous!” he spits back, scrambling to his feet, but it’s a poor attempt at indignation. He knows that you’re right and he’s not a good enough actor to hide it.

   Your anger is subsiding, though, getting too tired and sick of this whole situation to mount additional energy for it, so you just turn away with a scoff and start walking again.    He pauses for a few seconds before he follows, you can hear the lazy drag of the heels of his old worn-out crocs against the ground.

   “Okay, yes, maybe I am.” he confesses, but with a hint of defiance to his tone, making you shake your head and mutter ‘maybe’ with a thick undertone of sarcasm. And for some reason, that sets him off.

   “Yeah! Fucking maybe! Maybe I feel like shit around everyone but you and maybe I don’t know how to deal with that and maybe I just keep thinking about how kind and sweet you were that night we were together and maybe I want that more than fucking ANYTHING!!”

   The screaming makes you once again stop and turn to look at him, but this time with utter confusion replacing the anger.    Because while it was true that your night together had been really good, every attempt you’d made to have a conversation about it, to potentially let that occasion grow and evolve into something more than a one-nighter, had been met with dismissal.    He’d never even tried to lay a hand on you since then, despite being the horniest human being you’ve ever met.

   “Two months, Dee… For two months I tried to be with you, and all I got was a cold shoulder. Are you seriously telling me that that was you trying to convey how much you want me??” you huff, unable to hold it back because this is too rich.

   “Look, I know I suck, okay! You don’t need to convince me.” he retorts, but it’s half-hearted at best, and suddenly he looks so… broken. Even with his eyes trained on his own feet, you can see that he’s hurting, and not just because he’s sober, for once.

   “I’m not trying to. I don’t think you suck, Dee, I never have. But what the hell can I do when you treat me like some hooker you got away with not having to pay for your fun? What difference does it make that I see so much more than that, that I wanted so much more… when you just turned your back on me?”

   You’re teary-eyed by the time you finish, because you really do like him and you really did want more, but it was just too painful to see him act so callous towards you, after the significance of what you’d shared.    Or, rather, how significant it had been to you.    Before this moment, he’d never given you reason to think that it had mattered at all to him.

   “I was-…. fuck… I am scared, alright?” he tries, finally lifting his head just enough to peek at you, seeming to find a vein of courage when he doesn’t see any anger looking back at him.    “I’m a mess, I know that, so when I woke up that morning and you were still there, and I felt so happy - I panicked! Because I’ve never felt like that before, and it was fucking intense! And then you were still so sweet, and I didn’t expect that because why the hell would you be??”

   He’s riling himself up now, starting to gesticulate and tread on the spot, shaking his head between timid or confused glances at you, and you think to yourself that he must be the most chaotic person on the planet.

   “You’re right! I was cruel and you shouldn’t forgive me.    But baby… I’ll get on my knees and beg. I’ll lick you into nirvana five times over, right now. And again tomorrow, and the next day and the next, or however fucking long it takes.” he proclaims, inching closer to you as his confidence grows with every second you remain calm.

   “I’ll do anything, just… don’t pick that guy. He’s too perfect, you’d get so bored, and you know it.” he’s close enough to touch you now, but he keeps advancing, creeping into your personal space and you know he’s fully prepared to make good on his promise of nirvana.

   “Pick me. Please.” he says, leaning down close to your lips, but pausing there, needing your permission before he dares to touch you.

   “I’m never boring…” he finishes with a sly smile, somehow knowing that he’s got you, that you’ve caved already, and you wanna hate him for it but you can’t because he’s right.

   He’s so fucking right.

   You let out a breath, and somehow, he knows.

   “Take me home, Kittycat. I’m all yours.” he purrs triumphantly.

–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–=¤=–

Thank you for reading, and feel free to criticize, I’m always looking to learn and grow as a writer.

@deadhumourist @idreamofboobear @tanzthompson @winter-fox-queen @tiffanyleen @shsoba05 @toomanystoriessolittletime @nolanell @myfavpedrothings @harriedandharassed @bruxasolta @tintinn16 @littlemisspascal @sj-draws00 @gallowsjoker @spishsstuff @little-mrs-morales @bilibiche

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x you #the bubble #sirowsky 400 #400 followers celebration #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

[randommusingsstuff]

Why Ben and Devi are Endgame - Season 3 Episode 1 Follow-Up

I’m the author of Why Ben and Devi are Endgame (Meta). If you are a Ben and Devi fan and have not read it yet, check it out as I will be referring to it in this unofficial follow-up meta.

The table read of season 3 episode 1 was leaked. Apparently, recordings were not allowed, but shoutout to u/dundermifflinpaper_s on Reddit for transcribing the entire episode. See the links on Reddit and please upvote for all of their hard work!

Table Read Part 1

Table Read Part 2

Table Read Part 3

Given that the new season is coming out in a few months, I thought I would check-in on some of my meta predictions and discuss why season 3 episode 1 makes me more confident than ever in a Ben and Devi endgame.

Spoilers for Season 3 Episode 1 Below

Ben and Aneesa’s Breakup

Let’s start with the most obvious prediction I made that everyone can see coming a mile away.

In my predictions for season 3 I said:

“Ben and Aneesa will break up by mid-season, but probably earlier. Ben will find it hard to be in a relationship with Aneesa as he grapples with his feelings for Devi.”

At the start of season 3, we have Ben being his usual overachieving-self, trying to get extra credit from Mr. Shapiro. Aneesa tells him after class that he was acting crazy. Ben tells her that his dream school is Columbia (more on this later), to which she says maybe she’ll go there too. Ben is frustrated by this.

The most obvious takeaway is that Ben is frustrated by Aneesa’s lack of ambition, something that he and Devi share in common. The underlying issue is that neither of them appreciate each other for who they are. Ben wants someone who is attracted to his drive and intelligence (Devi) and Aneesa wants someone more relaxed and approachable. 

Later on in the episode, Ben is frustrated that Aneesa is happy with 84% on her pop quiz (in which he got a perfect score). This is classic Ben - arrogant and presumptuous but also looking for a true partner that challenges him. He wants her to be Devi, but she isn’t. Ben, Devi, and Paxton are all extremely flawed. What is important is that Ben and Devi appreciate each other's flaws.

Then we get the tidbit that Aneesa and Ben have not had sex yet. Screenwriting 101: every line of dialogue needs to be intentional because each minute of screen time is valuable, especially in a show with 30-minute episodes. This “throwaway” line serves the purpose of putting Ben and Devi on the same page as far as not wanting to have sex in their current relationships as well as hinting that maybe they are waiting for the right person (*ahem* each other).

Paxton and Devi’s Lack of Communication

I think this might have been my most spot-on prediction in the meta I wrote last year:

“Paxton and Devi will have some sweet moments in the first half of the season, but not without their issues. The lack of communication and their respective status (the way they view each other) will cause them to fight. They will break-up mid-season, but the ending will leave hope for reconciliation.”

First of all, I am staunchly team Ben, but Paxton is a great guy. People were theorizing that Paxton would pressure Devi into having sex, but that doesn’t really line up with his character. In this episode, he affirms that he will never pressure her into anything.

What is far more likely to happen is that Devi will feel like Paxton wants to have sex (which he does) and she will put that pressure on herself, because she doesn’t trust that he will stay in the relationship. This is the same rift they have always struggled with: a lack of communication and difference in social status. All their dates in episode 1 of this season consist of Devi trying to get out of having sex with him and them watching TikToks. What’s absent? Communication and personal compatibility. The physical chemistry is there but they have not figured out the emotional intimacy that is fundamental for a long-term relationship.

In the episode, Shira, Carly, and Zoe label Devi a slut for being with Paxton and they say that he only wants her because she “puts out”. This is untrue, but it gets to Devi. In her conversation with Paxton, Devi finally admits that she is not ready to have sex and she is very scared that he will break up with her. She only admits this because her hands are balled up into fists as they get closer to having sex, and the topic is unavoidable. Parallel this to season 2, where Paxton and Devi make out and then do not talk about the status of their relationship until problems arise. Different season, same problem. Devi is not secure in her relationship, even if she can’t see it yet.

The Long-Term Set Up for Ben and Devi

I wrote in my season 3 predictions:

“Ben will be a pillar of support to Devi as she navigates how to be a girlfriend. It’s the classic trope of the guy helping the girl win over the man of her dreams, only to realize that the person she wants is right in front of her.”

Lo and behold, there is a moment in the season 3 premiere where Ben says

 “Uh, since you’re a late bloomer, you know I just wanted to offer my advice, as someone with more romantic and sexual experience.” 

It seems like they’ve gone back to their classic banter with him pinning from afar, which is the perfect setup for their romance.

However, most of the significance in Ben and Devi’s interactions are in the unspoken. First, we learn that Ben has not confronted Devi on what he heard from Eleanor. Ben is willing to sacrifice his own happiness as long as Devi wants to be with Paxton. Part of the frustration Ben feels towards Aneesa is him realizing how blind he was to Devi’s pursuit of him last season and what he could have had. I fully expect this to come out at some point in the season, but what is important is that “arrogant, overachiever Ben” has a heart of gold when it comes to Devi.

All of the bumbling awkwardness and fumbling of speech that Ben shows around Devi in this episode is very reminiscent of season 1 and if there’s one thing Mindy writes well it’s angst. It also didn’t escape my notice that the foreshadowing for Devi and Paxton spells turbulence. Devi is desperately clinging onto her euphoria from the season 2 finale, while trying to ignore all the doubts that stem from a lack of communication and vulnerability. I don’t expect the anonymous message that she gets at the end of the episode to mean anything, but I do expect Devi to buy into it since she has zero trust in this relationship. Ben and Devi’s scene on the other hand foreshadows unresolved tension and hints at it all coming to a head this season. First episodes are important because they signal to us what to pay attention to, and Ben and Devi are definitely back in the spotlight.

The biggest clue that they are setting up Ben and Devi is a conversation between him and Aneesa where he mentions that he wants to go to Columbia for university. Columbia is in New York and Princeton (where Devi wants to attend) is in New Jersey. They are about an hour and a half away from each other. The fact that this lines up so nicely is no accident, the writers have intentionally crafted the details so that they can use it later on in their storytelling. It’s clear that Devi wants to leave Sherman Oaks and attend an Ivy league school, while Paxton does not have the same plans. I expect that Ben and Devi will be in each other's lives past high school, I can’t say the same for her and Paxton.

Summing up My Thoughts

Never Have I Ever has its flaws, but the writers understand their characters - especially Devi. We have a storyline this season of Fabiola wanting to break up with Eve because a long-distance relationship doesn’t work, and I think the writers understand that this is Devi and Paxton’s trajectory if they stay together.

It’s too soon for a definitive series finale prediction, but I think the end of the show will be Devi moving away for college and whether they hint at it or make it explicit, Ben will be the one beside her when she enters this new chapter of her life.

#benvi #ben x devi #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #nhie #never have I ever season 3 #nhie season 3

[lowkeyclueless5137]

Doodles dump! Digital edition >:3c

Bcs on the sketchbook I did references for my current comic and thus I won't spoil u yet :3

This time is a lot of Jade for sum reason :v

We starting with the new au i didn't explain: the fight club au

The premise is basically MK meets Streetfighter, meets twst, meets real world. With Epel trying to get around New York and attending the prestigious NRC school for mages. He uncovers a secret fight club and gets recruited by a misterious fighter in order to uncover a secret drug ring.

The magical girl au :D

This was more of silly doodle time, but there are a few hints of the au's plot :P

Lowkey I didn't know how Ace was gonna look like at first, but now I know EXACTLY why he turned out like this. Parkour I guess :'3

This is from the lettler exchange p5 x twst au :v

Noting how I confirmed that the velvet room attendees are siblings, I HAD to make a few shenaningans in between them :3

Lavenza and Floyd are the ones who get a new fusion method, thus Igor(the deemed parent), Had to instruct Floyd first so he could tell Lavenza as well. I really like how the uniforms turned out tbh.

And yes, this implies that all the attendees are mers. Lavenza, Theo and Elizabeth are eels, while Margret and Azul are octopuses. Might draw those one day :v

For context, it's this spuerhero au. :'3

Ace is the funny lil guy that has and absolute TRAINWRECK of a backstory. And Riddle as well, but I wanted to practice a bit on backs and side profiles, but I also wanted to add sum context ;3

TWO :D

I tried to get around model references, because GODDAMN some of those peeps look like sum bones are in the wrong place :v

also colored vgs, bcs I saw some using those and I do enjoy sum complementary color sumtimes :'3

And what better au than jjba au? The first one is ur hint at the main plot idea of this au, while the latter is a ref for Azul and his stand: Dark Side Of The Moon. I tried to also see how realistically his stand would resist against things, seeing how it is made out of bulletproof glass, also a lot of Drag inspo for his stand tbh. :'3

You know it, I know it, WE AIN'T ESCAPING THE MLB MILD AU<3

It's a sort of tease of what happens during the mlb specials, which all happen post the main 4 seasons ya'll read and saw me losing my shit abt. :'3

YES, THERE WAS A REASON I TEASED MALLEUS'S FAM DRAMA!

Think that NY and Shangai Specials happen at the same time, but each of the our main 2 heroes go through sum self discovery post all that chaos with Madame Moth. Riddle with accepting the flaws of himself and coming in terms with his new family dynamic, while Malleus comes in terms with the tesnsion and the chaos around himself and the fact that he cannot ignore changes he doesn't like anymore.

And the other miraculous au, this time the maleidiazu hard au version.

Since Jade got the butterfly miraculous, I thought that the twins would be ABSOLUTE MENACES to Azul.

For Jade's design, I saw those very pretty butterfly decorations photos and I fixated on Gabe's butterfly tending hat. I also wanted to allude to his eel form, so I imagined a long, sleek, trein, reminescent of a cocoon, that can flare up and reveal it's true shape of a half wing, the top vest part acting as the 2nd part of the wing. He looks pretty aloof, the kind of person you'd assume would be nice, but the veil is like your warning sign, with the butterflies always sitting on the outside, all alert. I really liked how he turned out and probably is one of my favorite designs in this au tbh.

And again, Jade for the last one: the Jjk mild au. damn, I can't find the post

I knew right off the batch that I wanted this mf to get some inspo from Nobara's uniform, just because I think Floyd-pre curse era would have a more yuji insp uniform and since in cannon jjk these 2 were like besties and up to shenaningans at first, I thought it would be a fun and subtle reference. :3

The reason that yellow overall is shown, is bcs underneath the jacket, Jade has a top of a similar shape, mostly to accomodate his brother.

It's fun to think that Jade's so reserved and acts humble, but in here there's literally the truth. He's thrown in this world with 0 knowledge, trying to gather up the disaster that was left behind his brother and just fix things that he isn't responsible for in the first place, all for his own selfish reasons. It's fun :D

and that would be all for now :3

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst jade #a lot of jade in this one tbh #Treyjade for the jojo au too #miraculous mild au #jjk mild au #p5 x twst au #I ain't tagging the rest #too lazy ;'3