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mclqren · 2 days

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ME AND MY BROKEN HEART ★ CL16 ( & MV33 )

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!ex girlfriend!reader ; max verstappen x fem!reader

SUMMARY ✦ when charles leaves you heartbroken, you end up letting a certain red bull driver help mend your broken heart [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is a model for dior. for the timeline of this, reader & charles broke up in august 2023 and he got with another woman (choosing to leave her unnamed because there will be NO alex slander) in september 2023. as per request, the fc i've used is hannah harrell, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are closed at the moment.

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liked by yourbsf, anyataylorjoy, and 691,221 others

yourusername had to learn that the hard way 👎

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user1 THE LAST SLIDE WHAT.

user2 NO WAY ARE HER AND CHARLES BROKEN UP NOOO

user3 MY FAV COUPLE 💔

user4 the way im so upset rn is not healthy.

user5 real like THEY WERE PARENTS

user6 okay but y/n is still glowing??

user7 righttt!! enough about the guy who drives in circles all day, lets talk about HER 😍

user8 he fumbled.

user9 realll!

yourbsf making that cake was wayyy too much fun 😋

yourusername breaking it apart was even better 😉

anyataylorjoy 😍😍

yourusername who needs a man when i have you 🩷

liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 651,212 others

tagged yourbsf

yourusername greek air to cure the breakup blues 🇬🇷💙

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user14 OKAYYY MISS Y/N YOU ARE SERVING AS PER!!

user15 she's living her best life and im HERE FOR IT

user16 her and her bsf are actually everything to me

user17 so trueee i need a friendship like theirs!!

user18 NOO I WAS JUST IN GREECE I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED YOU

user19 NO I WAS AS WELL I WAS SO UPSET WHEN I SAW THIS

user20 bet charles is missing you rn!!

user21 who cares abt charles? she's literally getting over him rn, he's so yesterday's news 😴

user22 what part did you go to?? im planning on going over the holidays in october, and i desperately need some recs!! 🫶

yourusername crete!! it was so so beautiful, can confirm 🩷

user23 one driver out of her likes, another (max verstappen) in her likes

user24 okay but they'd be such a good couple??

yourbsf GIRLS TRIP WAS THE BESTTT

yourusername NEXT ONE PENDING FOR SUREEE

mariloublg_ absolutely gorgeous gorgeous girlies 😍😍

yourusername MARILOU MY ANGEL 🩷

user25 i came here from the instagram gossip website and can i just say in that interview you SERVED

user26 REALLL

user27 wait what are you guys on about?? im so lost HELP

user26 go on @/f1wagnews and you'll see!

liked by user28, user29, and 871,291 others

f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N breaks her silence on the circulating paparazzi pictures of Charles Leclerc & his apparent new girlfriend. When asked by the media what she thought, she said: "Charles being in a new relationship not even a month later is naturally a shock, seeing as I assumed he would treat me and the times we shared over the past three years with the same dignity and respect that I am treating him. I don't know, I guess these sort of memories aren't as priceless to him as they are to me. Still, I hope he's happy in his new relationship."

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user28 OKAYY MISS Y/N IS BACKK!!

user29 THIS is what i was waiting for.

user30 she is actually handling this really maturely to be fair to her!!

user31 realll!! i wish i would've been like this with my ex

user32 okay so a lot of the comments are saying she handled this w grace or whatever but is it just me who disagrees? like she's literally being rude to him and his new girlfriend, and you're all hyping her up?? like huh??

user33 honestly this comment makes no sense to me; she didn't say anything rude about charles in this, she simply said that she was shocked to see him in a relationship when they were together for three years, and honestly she's valid for that! i don't think many girls would enjoy seeing their ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend all over the media, and so y/n is honestly handling this so well.

yourusername

( caption one: crazy huh 😉 | caption two: compensation acquired ✅ + tags )

liked by mariloublg_, maxverstappen1, and 667,891 others

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yourusername america with my girl 🩷 (& her boyfriend...)

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user37 THE CAPTION LMAOO

user38 Y/N REMAINS HILARIOUS

user39 ASTON MARTIN SWITCH UP HELLOOO??

user40 I KNOWW marilou and her are so cute though i loveee

user41 it's so weird to see her in green after having seen her in red for the past three years

user42 i knowww but she looks like she's happy now and that's all that matters tbh!!

lance_stroll thanks so much for the shoutout y/n, appreciate you too i guess

yourusername listen stroll if you hurt her i'll be at ur doorstep.

lance_stroll im actually sort of scared of you at times y/n.

yourusername good! 😊😊

maxverstappen1 so you liked seeing me win then?

yourusername you've been winning since like the prehistoric ages mate i think ive gotten used to it by now 🙄 (yes)

user43 so like is it just me or is this flirty...

mariloublg_ MY GIRL FOREVERRR 🫶

yourusername 🩷🩷

liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 702,192 others

tagged maxverstappen

yourusername second slide is me when i finally manage to get my shit together

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user44 OKAY BUT ARE MAX AND Y/N DATING ORRR

user45 MAYBEEE!! honestly they'd be so cute i just KNOW he'd treat her right

user46 y/n you are my everything.

user47 the flowersss?? did miss y/n get herself another man?

user48 has to be max.

maxverstappen1 the second slide was uncalled for. ☹️

yourusername I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING IM SO SORRY IT WAS HILARIOUS 😭

maxverstappen1 the flowers 👀👀

yourusername yeah!! wonder who got me those 😍

anyataylorjoy you have a man now? ☹️

yourusername nooo ur the only one i need baby i swear 🩷

liked by mariloublg_, user49, and 921,933 others

f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N is a WAG again...but for a different driver on the grid! In a recent interview during the Las Vegas Grand Prix, Max Verstappen confirmed to the press that he and Y/N had entered a relationship a couple of weeks prior, after pictures circulated of the two in his car in Monaco: "Well obviously she came to the COTA grand prix and I had already known her before and we were good friends, so we fell right back where we left off, and here we are now! [...] Yeah things are going great, she's truly one of the best people I've ever met."

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user49 Y/NSTAPPEN LETS GOOOO

user50 MY GIRL IS A WAG AGAINNN I LOVE

user51 is it just me who misses charles and y/n ☹️

user52 yeah. 😊

mariloublg_ ❤️❤️

user53 MARILOUUUU?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!

user54 ONE OF Y/N'S BEST FRIENDS AND FELLOW WAG COMMENTING OH ITS SERIOUS.

user55 they are seriously adorableee 🫶🫶

yourusername

( caption one: third time's the charm? 😬 | caption two: wtf is this man thinking about now. )

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 934,219 others

tagged maxverstappen1

yourusername MR WORLD CHAMPPP!! so so proud of you maxie, my winner always 🩷

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user59 Y/N AWWWW

user60 i have a feeling this one's working out idk

user61 oh absolutely

user62 so happy to see you happy again y/n!! 🫶🫶

user63 lost some race driver and came back with a world champion 🏆🏆

user64 ADORABLEEE

mariloublg_ MY CUTIES

yourusername OUR BIGGEST FAN

mariloublg_ well as your fairy godmother it IS an obligation to be ur biggest fan ever 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

maxverstappen1 love you ❤️

yourusername my champ 🏆

charles_leclerc so happy for both of you ❤️

yourusername thank you so much charles, hope ur doing well w ur gf 🩷

user65 charles and y/n are talking again, i can officially sleep in peace.

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cinnamon-girl-writes · 1 day

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in a world of boys, he's a gentleman . . .

gentlemanly things the jjk men do ! feat. gojo, nanami, geto, choso, higuruma, yuuji, megumi

fluff, headcanons, dubious grammar

by @cinnamon-girl-writes

gojo

Im’ma be real, it was hard af to come up with something serious for this man

but I’m gonna go with: he always opens doors for you and never lets you open them yourself

whether it be your car door or a restaurant, he’s always there just a step ahead of you to make sure his princes doesn’t have to do any work <3

*coughs* he also does it to stare at your ass from behind *coughs*

nanami

opposite of gojo, i couldn’t stop thinking of gentlemanly things this man *wouldn’t* do— anyways

nanami is the man who compliments you on more than just your appearance <3

of course, he tells you how beautiful you are all the time

but the best thing about this man is when he tells you how smart you are, or how he loves that your jokes always make him laugh

he’ll compliment your dtermined attitude or your loving nature

if you’ve been working really hard lately, he takes notice and tells you that you’re doing great

overall just. 10/10

geto

soooo geto has a history (in canon) of feeling unneeded/underappreciated

SO wwhat i think he’d always do for his partner is make a deliberate effort to tell them that

every day he finds a way to tell you: you matter to me and i need you in my life <3

sometimes it’s random, like when you’re laying and the couch and he tells you

or sometimes it’s more of a show, like him taking you out to dinner just to show you he appreciates you

choso

while romantic relationships are a little new to him, he treats his relationship with you very seriously

that being said, he notices whenever you’re stressed out about something

so to help you with this, he takes on whatever tasks are burdening you: your kids are driving you crazy? he’s great with kids. the dishes on your counter have been sitting there for two weeks? don’t worry, he’s got it

overall probably one of the best on this list

higuruma

this man- *ovulates*

anyways . . . like nanami he’s another epitome of gentlemanliness, however higuruma doesn’t have that much free time to spend with you because of his job as a lawyer

so when he is with you, he deliberatly asks you about how your day was. he’ll listen to every word you say and ask questions, wanting to get every detail out of you (and also, maybe he just likes the sound of your voice :))

but regardless, hearing about your day is very important to him

oh, you’ve got gossip about people he doesn’t even know?? he’s SAT

he listens to every detail, stopping you to ask questions and make sure he’s following the story

the KING of giving advice

yuuji

yuuji doesn’t necessasrily stick to formalities, but one thing he always pays attention to is the SIDEWALK RULE <3

like you swear this guy has a sixth sense or something because you literally never find yourself walking on the outside of the sidewalk

if you ever ask him about it, he just says he doesn’t do it on purpose but just always puts your safety first

megumi

poor megs didn’t really have a great example of being a gentleman growing up :( so this stuff is kind of hard for him

i would say in general he just has a pretty hard time with giving/recieving affection

but that being said, megumi puts a lot of thought into everything in your relationship

dates that he plans out are always extremely well thought out according to your interests and likes

his gifts are usually hand made, but if he does pick something out it’s very personal, usually something that you’ve been mentioning a lot lately

a/n: no i did not inclde toji because as much as i love his broke ass, for the life of me i could not think of one single gentlemanly thing about him

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conejita-canelita · 15 hours

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The charm to polin is that at their core they are both losers. They make corny ass plant puns that never land with whatever crowd they’re with. Penelope’s idea of flirting is to act like you're seconds away from fainting from heat stroke. She runs a successful gossip column and yet she's extremely shy outside of that. Colin can't help making dick jokes in the presence of his own mother. He's set on ruining the love of his life and he follows through with about as much backbone as a snapable glow stick ( I mean, he succeeds!!! but not in the way everyone knows he meant). Their idea of being bad together is to drop an eclair into a potted plant as if they're five again. Neither of them can register a damn social queue. The two of them break every rule of propriety there could possibly be between them unintentionally. They both somehow think that dating lessons with each other are going to be no strings attached. Polin at its essence is boy and girl cringefail being so disgustingly in love it makes everyone else around them sick. You need to understand, love, and accept this to be on board with them.

#polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton x penelope featherington #bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #let them be losers together!!! its cute!!!

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readychilledwine · 7 hours

Note

Rhys w a small reader with a big mouth?

Little Girl, Big Mouth

Rhys with a mouthy reader headcanons

Warnings - implied smut, reader could be seen as trashy but Rhys loves it

A/n - This anon actually came from an IRL friend. She texted me about it, and I had her clarify if she meant a gossip or big mouth as in a girl who is prone to talking shit and fighting. It was talking shit and fighting, so thanks, Sammie 💕💕

Ps- I will figure out what your username is 👀 but you're very sweet for doing this the way the rest of my followers do instead of just texting me first😭

You aren't a doormat. He refuses to let you be seen as one. Even if that means you get into a verbal argument here and there.

Those verbal arguments have gotten physical.

My baby daddy always tells me not to write a check he can't cash (if you don't know what that means, it means don't start a fight that he can't finsh.) You don't have that problem with Rhysand.

If you stand, mouth firing off insults as someone else is, he will stand too. Ride or die, he won't let you fight without him.

And that is if the man isn’t already behind you, warning the male standing over you without even having to speak that if he lays a hand on you or speaks out of line, he will be finding out why Rhysand is proud to be half illyrian.

You do know time and place, but if someone insults your male, your family, or your court first, all bets are off.

Your mouth is equal opportunity. High fae, lower, male, female, high lord? You don't care. All bets are off the table with you. No one is safe.

Beron? Constantly roasting him. Asking him if beating his wife helps him feel like a real male. Keir? Verbally torn apart. How pathetic he must be to think he has some pull when he lost out on being high lord.

Hell, illyrian males aren't even safe from you. Not when three immediately are behind you the second they feel your mood change.

And it isn't that you can't fight. You are well trained and can more than hold your own. He just prefers you let him.

He's only held you back once. It was from Amren, and he hardly caught you in time before you jumped on her.

Cassian was disappointed. He wanted to watch two tiny females wrestle it out. He said it would be better if pretty lacy outfits were involved, but he was ready to settle for you in your dress and Amren in her two piece outfit.

Rhys did not stop you, nor Amren, from tackling Cassian for that comment.

He will throw you over his shoulder, ignoring you as you scream for him to put you down while still running your mouth as you're carried out of the room. But only if family is involved.

Mother knows they are no exception. You all get on each other's nerves from time to time. Besides Azriel. You could never fight Azriel.

Rhys loves it. He loves how spicy you are. He loves how much fight and sass you have. He loves how it's always to people who are mean.

He does love fighting for you as well. Sometimes, he asks you to pick fights when it's someone he has been itching to get his hands on.

He rewards you throughly when you oblige him.

"Where's that big mouth now, darling?" While your back is arched off the bed, and your mind is just a haze. "Thought you had so much to say earlier."

He loves making his girl with so much to say and so many opinions go dumb for him.

He loves it when all you can think to say is his name and barely thrown together words.

He loves putting your mouth to other uses if you start in on him, too.

He'd keep you tucked under his desk for hours, putting your mouth towards something actually useful if you two fight.

And that's rare. Your opinions are normally shared and mutual. It's why you two work. Otherwise, you would be constantly at each other's throats with how vocally dominant you both like to be.

Overall, he'd change nothing about how sassy you can be. He loves you as is. Even if it means you bandaging his hands after a trip to Illyria.

#elizabeths.updates #send asks #send anons #acotar x reader #rhys headcanons #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n #rhys x you #rhys x y/n #rhysand headcanons

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bloodyymaryyy · 3 days

Text

Gossip girl xoxo

F1 grid x driver reader

This is part 3

Part 1 / part 2 / masterlist

((Side note : I can't find the interview where Charles got in the way when an interviewer was interviewing lando on the pit lane so you have to use your imagination for that bit. Also those are not chronologically correct))

Request : no

Type : smau with texts, tweets and a plot in between those ( also I think the narrative is going to change a few times so beware to to get confused

After meeting up with your colleague / friends and whatever you were with them you had a lot to talk about because you went out with your friend group 2 and saw your friend group 3 and heard stuff that wasn't for your ears and an argument broke out saying stuff that they would regret after and naturally you had to tell your friend group 1 about it aka the grid.

It started with max when you found him entering the same time as you, it took you an hour to tell him everything, while you worked out both, next came lando and Oscar which you told them the half off it to save it for later because you had to go to a meeting with max and the time, after you found yuki and Pierre but you didn't name dropped most of it to save yourself from something that may came out to bite you because everyone knew that Pierre like you are big yappers but you knew when to stop talking about something that did not had to be said... Or at least outside because inside secrets spilled.

Then after a couple of hours before the race you went to your track walk and meet up with Charles and you spilled the tea with details and you accidentally went into the frame with Charles and almost immediately stopped talking and your facial expressions were everything like you were caught red-handed about something.

The interviewer quickly tried to include you both but you nudged Charles took his had and ran away.

Lewis knew about it right after you got home that day so he was unbothered driving his scooter behind you with one headphone on and sunglasses. Lando was left behind laughing but longing to know the rest when you could talk next.

( the second pic on the first tweet it this. Just pretend that y/n is like in the middle on the space )

Texts

Landinio

Y/n

Hello?

I know you are reading them anwser me

Yourusername added a new story after a while!

Liked by landonorris charlesleclerc lewishamilton and 2.986.832 others

Replies:

User1 replied to your story!

Wow mommy

User replied to your story!

Holy shit you hot asf

User 3 replied to your story!

One chance I am begging 🙏

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Landonorris replied to your story!

Answer my texts!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Lewishamilton replied to your story!

Nice pic and car wanna go for a ride some time?

Yourusername : yeah sure tomorrow I am free all day so I can do that whenever you can! Just text me time, place and I will be there!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

Texts

Landinio

Bitch answer me

The fuck?

I have tea!

You: oh do tell!

I was busy having a life

Sorry

Landinio

Okay whatever!

You know my friend Philip?

You:

Who?

Landinio : the one that is same height as me with the short hair and brown eyes that had a really annoying gf which is a nurse!

You : oh him yeah I remember! What happened?

Landinio :

Okay so he got into a car accident and he got to the hospital! And you know he wasn't exactly loyal... He got into an accident with his side chick and injured both but they are okay but! His girlfriend was examining the side chick and the girl was asking about Phil referring him as her bf and they were in those rooms where there are only curtains and he wasn't injured much and opened the curtains and saw his gf and his side chick speaking and the sc said : oh my god baby!? Are you okay?! And the gf was like... What are you talking about he is my boyfriend while looking between those two and long story short now he is without a gf and a side chick 👀🤭

You:

Holy

Shit!

You never fail to get me more juicy tea every day wow! I raised you well 🥺

Landinio:

oh shut up I shouldn't have even told you because you were ignoring me but anyway

You didn't raise me? What are you talking about we are the same age dumbass

You :

Whatever you say dude anyway gotta go I have something to do rn ttyl<3

Okay done! I hope you like it!

#x reader #f1 x reader #drive to survive x reader #marriswriting #max verstappen x reader #my writing #charles leclerc x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #max verstappen x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lewis hamilton #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc #fake texts #fake tweets #send help #bloodyymaryyy

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spacebarbarianweird · 3 days

Note

Dadstarion prompt:

Caretaker takes the kid to a fair, playground, restaurant or shopping, just spending the day and having fun together

Ha! Take that. Pure fluff. What could possibly go wrong??

Synopsis: Tiriel and Astarion take Alethaine to a fair.

Tags: dadstarion, dhampirs, fluff, a snippet into the future

Another fluffy thing I have written! And there is also a snippet into the distant future with adult Tiri who hasn't inherited her mother's macabre nature!

Alethaine's age - 12-years-old

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Guide on How To Skin Monsters

Tiriel stops at the daggers’ stall. All of them look rather dull and Tiriel decides to search for something better for Astarion. Besides, he prefers to choose weapons for himself and Tiriel can always get something else – a book, jewelry, or a shirt. He always huffs when she brings him gifts, but she knows he is grateful for those little reminders of her care.

“Looking for something?” A merchant, a halfling woman, asks.

“Nothing in particular,” Tiriel says.

The halfling is definitely in the mood for talking and starts gossiping about a feud between two noble human houses, a serious plague “originated by giants” and someone’s wife cheating with an ork.

“Oh, and have you heard? There was a murder in Secomber! The whole family was slaughtered and by whom? A dhampir!”

Tiriel takes her eyes off the daggers.

“Yes! A half-vampire! Can you imagine sleeping with a vampire? But I think their mother was assaulted. Anyway, the dhampir grew up and slaughtered the whole family! Those half-undead are merciless cruel creatures, and they say there are so many of them!”

“Yeah… cruel monsters they are,” Tiriel mutters.

She heard of the slaughter, but there were no dhampirs or vampires involved. Just a young man possessed by a dryad. He was hanged a week later, but someone started spreading rumors his mother fucked a vampire and that’s why her child grew up so bloodthirsty.

Tiriel feels pale hands hugging her waist from behind. Alethaine presses her face against her back – she is 12 but she is still cuddly as a little child.

“Oh, is this your daughter? Such an adorable little girl. How old is she?”

“Alethaine,” Tiriel touches her fingers.

“I am twelve,” she says, trying not to betray her fangs.

“Oh… I am sorry… didn’t notice she was an elf.” The merchant apologizes and then proceeds to tell other gossip.

“Have a nice day,” Tiriel says, taking Alethaine’s hand.

“You too! And beware the dhampirs!”

“Beware the dhampirs my ass,” Tiriel says, moving further away from the obnoxious halfling.

“I can bite her,” Alethaine suggests. She is twelve, but elves mature slower than humans and half-elves and Tiriel notices her daughter sometimes behaves like a younger child.

“No, we are not biting people we don't like.”

“Dad wouldn’t mind if I bit her!”

“Hm, good thing it’s daylight then!” Tiriel rubs Alethaine’s ear. She knows her daughter too well not to notice the merchant’s words upset her.

Cruel merciless creatures? Alethaine cries her eyes out every time someone dies in the books she reads! Well, she mostly sympathizes with dragons and monsters – but also with orphan children, victims of arranged marriages and curses.

And little dead animals.

Little dead animals are a whole different story. It’s been three years, but Alethaine still feels sorry about an albino kitten killed by a stranger. The dhampir accidentally resurrected the pet and now Tiriel and Astarion also face the issue of raising a necromancer.

“Hey, don’t be sad!” Tiriel leans to a little dhampir. “Do you want anything?”

Alethaine doesn't answer. She stops by the book stall completely enchanted by a huge black volume covered in leather.

How to Skin Monsters.

Aletaine immediately flips the pages, and Tiriel sees intricate and creepy pictures of the insides of different beasts and monsters. She’d fought many of them in her lifetime (beholders in the Underdark are still one of her worst memories), but never ever did she want to look at their remains, let alone study them.

“Hey, don’t touch it!'' The merchant tries to take the book away from Alethaine’s hands, but the dhampir keeps holding it with her iron grip. “I think this book is rather dark for a little lady like you.”

“Mum, look, the cover is made of human skin,” Alethaine casually says. “No. It’s half-elf actually.”

“No it isn’t!” The merchant protests. “It’s… wolfskin!”

Liar, Tiriel realizes. She has good perception skills, and the merchant lies. And the dhampir necromancer has already passed the verdict.

Alethaine puts the book away and takes another one – a green volume with letters in Espruar.

“Is it just a collection of stories or the real guide on Feywild?’” Alethaine asks. “People who have never messed with fey write all sorts of fairytale stuff about pink unicorns and fairies who grant wishes.” She opens the book which is written with trembling handwriting. “Oh, I see. Looks like a feverish nightmare. So the writer has been there.”

The book merchant looks at Tiriel with a facial expression she knows too well.

What crypt did you find this child in?

“I have some ballads and traveler guides. Maybe...it is more for your age?” he asks

“Travelers guide on what places?”

“Icewind Dale, but it’s a rather uncomfortable read…”

“I’ve read about Icewind Dale,” suddenly something else attracts her attention and she points at a small book with a dragon on its cover. “Show me this!”

The merchant sighs in relief and reaches for the storybook. Tiriel looks at the pages – even though she still experiences issues with reading, she sees that it's just an adventure story about knights, princes, dragons, and treasure hunting.

Something her daughter stopped reading when she was five or six.

“I will take this too,” Alethaine declares.

“Eighty silver for all three,” the merchant says.

Too much, Tiriel thinks. Alethaine frowns but doesn’t try to bargain. For some reason, she is very shy when it comes to arguments.

“Thirty silver,” Tiriel intervenes. “And we are not telling anyone about the half-elf skin you’ve bound the book with.”

“It’s not made of anyone’s skin!”

“I can hear her screams,” Alethaine whispers, flipping the book pages. “They flayed her when she was still alive!”

The merchant gulps. Tiriel chuckles. So, this is true and the merchant knew it.

“All right. Thirty,” he mutters and Alethaine happily gives him the silver coins.

Alethaine puts the books in her black bag and wishes the merchant good night. The man mutters something not appropriate for children’s ears.

“Did you catch the scent of the skin or it’s more like your necromancy skills?” Tiriel asks, taking her daughter’s hand as they stand by the stall with needles and threads.

She shrugs. “I-I don’t know. Maybe both.”

“Do you know if Dad needs something to sew?” Tiriel still can’t really tell apart shades of the same color and all needles look the same to her.

“Take the black threads,” Alethaine says, touching the samples of fabric. “He’s always out of them.”

Tiriel nods. She doesn’t know why and when Astarion decided to make all his daughter’s wardrobe black, but here they are. Alethaine got from black onesies to black dresses, from black nappies to black skirts, gloves, and coats. Only her shoes and boots aren’t made by Astarion - and they are as pitch dark as everything else.

A few hours later, at sunset, they sit on the grass outside the market. It’s a beautiful summer sunset and Tiriel adores the light. Alethaine sits on her traveling cape and takes out one of her new books.

“Interesting?”

“Uh-um,” she nods, completely taken away.

Tiriel smiles to herself. She’s never been a stranger to violence and dark things – if you faint at the sight of a blood sacrifice, you won’t survive in the wilderness. But having a child like this takes everything to another level.

Death, dark arts, corpses – they have a special appeal to Alethaine, the same one Tiriel feels towards fights.

The sun sets and Tiriel sits beside Alethaine. Darkvision allows her to see in gray colors and Tiriel sees a picture of the monster inside.

“All right, now I understand who all these people were who hired me to bring them certain parts of the beasts I killed.”

“Dad is coming,” she says. “Or another vampire, but I think Dad scared all of them away.”

Tiriel smiles. “Good thing vampires hate the presence of each other.” She stands up and approaches the edge of the hill. Yes, Alethaine is right – Astarion has left his daylight shelter in the nearby inn. She can see his silhouette from the distance – white hair and black armor she can’t mix with anyone else.

She waves to him and he quickens his steps.

“Hello, darling,” he murmurs in her ear the moment he hugs her. Astarion pecks her cheek and Tiriel rubs his left ear.

“Dad! Look what I’ve bought!”

Tiriel thinks Alethaine will show him the anatomy book, but, instead, she hands him the adventure story.

Astarion studies the first page, then another. Tiriel watches them carefully.

“I just don’t get it,” Alethaine admits. “Is it about how to enter the thieves’ guild or how to smuggle drugs?”

“None,” Astarion returns her the book. “It’s about how to find a job as a bounty hunter in Neverwinter.”

“Oh, I misread the symbols then,” Alethaine pouts.

“Wait, the book is in Thieves Cant?” Triel asks.

“Yes. Hidden deep under snotty stories,” Astarion answers. “And what are these two monstrosities?”

Alethaine proudly opens the anatomy book as Astarion studies the Feywild one. Tiriel barely prevents herself from laughing as she sees Astarion cringing at the pictures. Vampire or not, he saw so many disgusting and cruel things he hated looking at them.

Then Alethaine yawns.

“Let’s go home,” Tiriel says. It will take them till sunrise to return to Daggerlake. If they don't hurry they will need to set up a camp for the daylight - or leave Astarion behind which Tirel absolutely hates to do.

It’s not like it’s a big deal right now – thirty-two years since he gained his freedom, he has nothing to fear. More than that, Tiriel is sure there is simply no other monster in the area who could be a threat to Astarion. He is a vampire, an undead, a skilled rogue, a dangerous assassin.

But when he is alone, the nightmares slowly crawl back. The loneliness fuels his memories and there are so many of them. Thirty-two years are simply not enough. Astarion can handle that too – he’s learned to. But Tiriel doesn’t want him to face mental struggles if it can be avoided.

Alethaine walks in front of them and Tiriel takes Astarion’s hand in hers. They are her little family – everything she’s ever wished for.

She looks at Astarion and notices his lips are squeezed and there is some anxiety in his eyes.

Hunger.

“Go for a hunt, we will wait for you”.

“Nonsense, let’s return home sooner.”

Tiriel doesn’t push it. They agreed years ago that Alethaine isn’t to see him dining on her mother (because it’s absolutely a sexual thing and must remain behind closed doors) and also that she shouldn’t see him feed on animals (because her dhamprisim might get awoken – blood will tempt her and they don’t want their daughter to become more a vampire then she already is).

Of course, she isn't stupid, she knows her father drinks blood. She often sees bite marks on Tiriel when she forgets to cover them – but the process remains out of sight.

It’s already sunrise when they reach Daggerlake and Astarion walks forward not to risk staying in the sun.

By the time they return home, Alethaine rushes upstairs to prepare for sleep. She sleeps a lot, even more than a human would – and Tiriel wonders how much dhampirism affects her sleeping habits.

“So, is the book really about how to be a mercenary?” Tiriel asks closing the door to the bedroom

Astarion has already put off his doublet and now sits on the bed watching Tiriel.

He waits.

“Yes. It was a guide on how to find people who will give her a job as a mercenary,” he slowly answers as if he had to concentrate on speaking. His eyes are focused on her neck.

“And can she read this book?”

“She thought it was about smugglers and thieves. Her skills aren’t that good.”

Tiriel approaches Astarion and he tugs her closer, forcing her to sit on his lap.

Astarion is no longer a sweet caring elf – his predatory side is on the loose and he pierces her skin with his nails as the fangs are looking for the vein.

Tiriel wraps her hands around his neck and lets herself drown in painful pleasure.

“Take as much as you need,” she murmurs. “I love you.”

She feels like falling into the warm dark void and, when she almost crosses the border of no return, the tender hands let her go and she finds herself on the bed with Astarion carefully applying a bandage on her fresh bite mark.

“Thank you,” he says, kissing her with his blood-stained lips.

“Will you stay with me when I sleep?”

“Of course,” he chuckles. “Besides Alethaine has occupied the bathroom – she isn't getting out any time soon”

“Oh… and I forgot…” Tiriel points at her bag. “I’ve bought you some black threads and new needles.”

Astarion kisses her cheek. “Such a caring and thoughtful wild girl. Now I have something to occupy myself with while you are asleep.” He takes her nightshirt from the floor. “Do you have anything in mind? I noticed you’ve ripped it.”

“Me? Astarion, you rip my clothes all the time!”

He unfolds the shirt showing the ripped collar. “Yeah, I agree. My fault. So, what patch do you want?”

“Maybe a dragon? A black one?”

Astarion covers her with a blanket – the one she uses when she sleeps alone – and sits on the floor with the shirt and the needle.

“I have a daughter who likes seeing monsters’ inside-outs and a wife who likes murdering monsters. Can someone in this family enjoy nice and cute things?” He pouts.

“Imagine Alethaine having a child who enjoys such things. She will pout then, ‘no one in her family has taste for macabre’”.

Astarion chuckles, and Tiriel wraps herself in the blanket.

Safe. She feels safe.

And loved.

Sewing has always helped Astarion to concentrate. It’s been centuries since he needed to shut the darkness up. Memories of his enslavement, memories of the misery have faded away and feel like a distant nightmare.

But habits never truly go, and Astarion enjoys sewing patches and repairing clothes even though the old purpose of that process has long gone.

“You know, for someone who is an elf and was raised as an elf, you are very messy,” Astarion says looking at the ripped cape. It looks like it was chewed by a tarrasque.

“It’s not my fault! I was careful!” Tiri objects. She is making new arrows (as she lost the whole quiver while running from a particularly nasty behir in the Underdark the previous day).

Astarion chuckles. Tiri, his granddaughter, showed up at his place deep in the Fairgheight Range five years ago. Red-haired like her grandmother, she was eager to see the world beyond the Isle of Evermeet – and she still doesn’t show any desire neither to return to her parents nor leave him be and travel alone.

“What patches do you want?” Astarion asks and takes his sewing kit from the traveling sack.

“Well, I am an adult independent woman…” Tiri starts.

“You are thirty and you are an elf. You are basically a child.”

“Hm, you were a magistrate and mum would work for smugglers using her necromantic skills. Barely a child activity.”

“So?”

“I want a unicorn patch,” Tiri finally admits. “Or a butterfly. Don’t laugh, ar’o’su!”

“I don’t, damia,” Astarion finds white threads. “Besides, Alethaine has never been fond of cute and nice things.”

“Mum has her own idea of what is nice and what is cute,” Tiri touches a thin tiara on her hair. While all Tiri’s clothes are made according to Wood Elves traditions, her father’s ancestors, the tiara is pitch black and with a small skull in the center. It definitely belonged to Alethaine and then she just passed it to her only daughter.

Tiri puts the new arrows on the ground and lies on her bedroll to reverie. Her drake, Aurix, immediately nestles on her chest like a cat.

Astarion casts a glance at his granddaughter. She has a certain similarity to Tiriel – and Astarion knows she would have loved her. But half-elves have such an offensive short life span in comparison with elves she had no chance to see little Tiri. At the same time, her facial features are her mother’s and sometimes she speaks like her. There is something else, something unfamiliar – Tiri’s father and their ancestors.

And she loves cute and nice things - and cringes at the sight of monsters’ inside-outs. Necromancy scares Tiri and she admits she’s never been to her mother’s dungeons just because of how uncanny it was for her. And elves would often joke that their “witch-queen” just kidnapped Tiri because no way someone like Alethaine could give birth to such a sweet young woman.

Astarion pierces the fabric with the needle.

“Well, so be it, a unicorn.”

-- Tag list

@tugoslovenka

@herstxrgirl

@herdarkestnightelegance

@vixstarria

@not-so-lost-after-all

@marcynomercy

@theearthsfinalconfession

@starlight-ipomoea

@micropoe10

@astarion-imagine-archive

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress

@fayeriess

@lumienyx

@tallymonster

@caitlincat-95

@tragedybunny

@valeprati

@lynnlovesthestars

@marina-and-the-memes

@waking-eyes

@ayselluna

@connorsui

@asterordinary

@darkarchangel96

@locallegume

@brainfullofhotsauce

@coffeeanddonutscafe

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen

@queenofthespacesquids

@ednaaa-04

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

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marylily-my-beloved · 15 hours

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There are like 4 power couples in hogwarts and let me list them (my hc!):

(just btw these aren't in order lol, just the 4 ships i think are amazing and have amazing power) (also what does power couple rlly mean? im just going of the power bit, so i don't really know)

Quillkiller (rita x bellatrix). Like you don't even need to argue on this omg. Bellatrix is an amazing wizard, and she's so good at cursing people, and imo really protects those she truly loves. Rita is literally the head of that newspaper thingy (The Daily Prophet?), and also you cannot say that she would be the perfect person to stalk the people that Bellatrix wants to hurt...

Next up! Lily x Dorcas, ofc this is both because they are amazing wizarding world figures, and they would 100% be academic rivals in anything and everything. They were literally the most powerful wizards, and everyone knew them just bc of how they made a room change (imo) (did i make this whole post to talk abt them? yes ofc)

Marylene. like this is the Power Couple™ like Mary Macdonald, the party girl, the gryffindor girl everyone knows even though she's not that popular + Marlene Mckinnon, amazing at quidditch and also is amazing at everything!! (GRR I'M JEALOUS OF THESE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS)

Nobleflower. Boom. No need for explanation but I will explain. Alice is also very amazing very strong very wow quidditch girl, who loves gossiping, like will not shut up about other ppl, whether it be good gossip or bad gossip, or even fucking random ass quidditch gossip from her friends on quidditch teams + Narcissa who everyone knows and everyone is so jealous of her "picture perfect" life, and everybody wants to be her, bc honeslty who wouldn't. And also they would both 100% gossip about people while drinking tea (and not eating bagels), and then like go make flower crowns

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tokyo-debunkers-headcanons · 2 days

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can I get a frostiem boys with a super shy ™️ mc!?!? I really enjoy your hcs btw ^^!!

Thank you so much! Thank you all for reading them! I'm gonna take these hcs in more of a romantic context just be aware!

JIN KAMURAI

Jin is used to people, typically girls, acting all shy around him. He never expected his partner to be shy as well.

He himself isn't really a shy guy. He keeps to himself sure, but he's got too much cash money and charisma to be shy.

He doesn't mind doing the talking for his partner as well if they need it, but there are times when his patience is a little shorter than other days, so watch out.

He doesn't really like PDA so don't expect any gossip about that, he's more affectionate behind closed doors when its just him and them. What can I say, man likes his privacy.

TOHMA ISHIBASHI

Tohma finds his partners shyness quite cute actually. It brings out a protectiveness in him.

Seeing as he does most things for Jin, he doesn't mind adding his partners wishes onto that playe but please, give this mans a break every now and then.

He will 100% tease them and make them turn tomato red for the hell of it, let's be fair.

Here's another one that isn't necessarily into PDA but he's fine with hand holding while they both walk somewhere or carrying things for his partner.

KAITO FUJI

This is one that clashes a little bit. We all know Kaito is a loud mouth so as soon as he found himself a partner, we all know he's screaming it from the rooftops. If his partner asked him to knock it off however....let's just say he'd do his best.

Kaito thinks he wants like a Disney Channel movie type of romance. Big gestures, matching outfits, pet names, etc. So I think a shy partner would be a bit of a challenge.

There would need to be a LOT of communication for him to finally tone it down to suit his partners pace. He will however listen to their criticism, doing his best not to take it to heart, and actually take their concerns seriously.

He may be a goof, but I'm sure his granny made sure he knew how to respect someone's boundaries. But when his partner isn't there, he will sing their praises, no matter what.

LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"

I think Luca would be one of the easier ones to adjust to having a shy partner. He's not really an attention seeker. He's more focused on his brother than anything else.

If anything, i think he'd be even more protective of his partner than normal. Making sure that they're okay and that they'll be okay of he's not there.

He always has his phone ringer on in case their partner needs something, even if it's small. If his partner needs help then he's gonna help damnit! Even of it's just ordering food at the cafeteria!

As for PDA, he's too proper, and I'm sure that DA has some kind of rule against PDA, so he wouldn't want to risk it. He will however hold their hand with a smile. At the end of the day he'd do anything if it meant the safety and happiness of his partner.

#tokyo debunker #frostheim #headcanons #jin kamurai #tohma ishibashi #kaito fuji #lucas errant #luca #i realized i may have forgotten to tag the last post or two #damn it smol #oh well

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morverenmaybewrites · 9 hours

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Hiya! First of all your blog’s interface is so cute i’m rolling on the floorrrrrrr

Second of all your writing is absolutely amazing, i’ve just finished reading “the pizza delivery girl’s survival guide to gotham city” and lemme tell u i can’t wait for the next chapter cause absolute gold-

I wanted to ask what your thoughts are on Jason and day-to-day life outside of costume. Like, dude HAS to go outside as himself at least every once in a while, out of pure necessity. How do you think he goes on about it?

Aw, thank you, I'm glad you like my blog interface and my fic. I think it depends on how much he's progressed in processing his trauma, to be honest!

I imagine when he first moved back in Gotham, he avoided going out as much as possible, for a multitude of reasons. First, because he was still reeling emotionally from Bruce enacting project Knightfall (aka faking his own death), he was recovering from the injuries he sustained during the events of Arkham Knight (and of course, the injuries he got from the Joker). Most importantly, he is adjusting to living in a city he once hated enough to want to destroy.

I feel like those first few weeks were painful for him. Every place is filled memories, and while not all of them are bad memories, they often feel too painful to revisit. He likely spent most of his time cooped up in a safehouse (which was established as something he makes no effort to make comfortable), only going out when he absolutely had to. Interacting with the city and its people as little as possible. While I don't think the Joker ever meant him to survive his torture, the amount of scars and physical injuries he bears means that a lot of his interactions bring a lot of (misplaced) guilt and shame. Did that shopkeep spend too long looking at his face, his scar? Maybe he'll pass by some hole-in-the-wall shop and remember that he and Dick and Barbara would cool down there after patrols. The ramen, he'll think, is surprisingly good. The owner is a smiling, heavyset man who insists that they never pay for their meals. Maybe he'll even take a single step toward the shop, only to remember that the scars on his hands make it so it's hard to hold cutlery without shaking. That there are days when it's physically painful to eat. And he'll shake his head and walk away.

But I think the more he interacts with PG in the story and the more he fixes his relationship with his family, the more he'll be able to interact with Gotham City. Maybe going to the grocery won't be treated like a military supply run. Maybe he'll look up from his carefully-curated list and realize a type of candy Barbara used to be obsessed with is back in stock now. Maybe he'll put it in his cart, and for the first time in a while, he doesn't have to think about what he did to her as the Arkham Knight. One day, he'll wake up before his alarm and remember that you used to talk about watching the sun rise over Gotham Bay. He'll take a long walk along the shoreline and watch the way the sky turns into soft shades of pink and orange, and he'll be surprised at the realization that there are still beautiful things in Gotham. Maybe your face will flash in his mind, and he'll think that perhaps he shouldn't be so surprised, after all. Maybe one day, after a long night of patrol, he'll pass by the ramen shop again and this time, he decides to stay. The only thing that has changed is the owner, who's gained weight and a few gray hairs, but his smile is still the same. He'll bring Jason's order without asking, and he'll insist that he doesn't have to pay for it. Eating doesn't hurt as much as he feared. In fact, some days, he can move his hands without feeling pain. This is one of the good days. Maybe on that good day, he'll be surprised to find that the ramen is still good. That he can think of the days he used to stay here with his family after patrols, exchanging combat tips and juicy bits of gossip. And this time, he's able to smile.

#ask #anon #jason todd #jason todd x reader #it is actually SO important to me that PG loves gotham city while for the early chapters jason mostly sees it as a duty to be borne #jason learning to fall in love with gotham city all over again #jason finding beauty in the mundane #i just woke up after a 24 hr shift the other day so here have some word vomit

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wosoluver · 1 day

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To undo a mistake

Part 16/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern Player!reader

Leaving the last apartment on the list, the day was coming to an end, and it seemed like Lena was as far from having an apartment as she was this morning.

"So, nothing really caught your attention?"

"I don't know, even the ones that were new and recently renovated, felt so unwelcoming and not cozy at all. I wanted an apartment like yours."

"When I moved in there it was completely different, it takes time to make a it yours."

"Well I still have some time. And there's still a lot of options to visit."

"Yeah, let's go home. What are we ordering for dinner?"

She couldn't focus on your question. All she could think was how lovely the phrase 'let's go home' sounded, like you two would go back to your shared home, your shared life and your shared future, together. But you weren't. At least not yet. But the last two days had given her hope.

"Lena?" - You said as you got closer to the car.

"Ah yes. I mean pizza maybe?"

And pizza it was. You guys had opted for a movie night, and after a quick discussion, it was decided what you two would watch.

By the time it was over, Lena was sound asleep next to you. And you didn't even contemplate if she would be leaving. She seemed so peaceful and you didn't want to bother, also at this point it was to late for her to catch an uber, and you hated driving at night.

When you got up to get ready for bed, you made sure you covered her properly. And left for the bedroom.

Not even an hour had passed when you felt someone taping you awake.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to Lea's."

"What? No, it's too late for that. Just lay down, we have training in the morning."

Little did you know, she was counting on your invitation. She really didn't want to leave. And she felt butterflies in her stomach when she had come in the room and noticed how you left her spot on your bed unoccupied. Knowing she would most likely move from the couch to the bed, during the night.

Next morning you had drove the two of you to training, while stopping on the way to get Ana and coffee. And neither one of the two girls seemed to be pleased with this.

Ana hated the fact she lost her spot not only in the car but also in your life. You're practically inseparable, yet she hadn't really heard from you in the last couple of days. And Lena was definitely not enjoying having a third party in, who would on top of everything, chose the music that would be played, like come on! That was passenger princess' rule number one.

Arriving with both girls trailing behind you, carrying the coffee you had got for Leah and the others. Everyone was starting curious on what was going on.

"Good morning! These are for you, as a thank you." - you started to give away the cups.

"Aw thanks. And Lena you could've told me you weren't coming back last night."

"Sorry, we lost track of the time and-"

"I presumed you'd stay over at her's once again anyways."

And that's all it took for the girls to start teasing the two of you again. In a way it bothered you, probably because you knew how you felt, but was too proud to give in to her after all.

After training you couldn't wait to head home.

"Hey, don't mind them, they just have nothing else to talk about." - Said Lena trying to keep you calm. She knew how you hated to be harassed about your personal life. Even if the girls meant no harm.

"It's not like you aren't giving them a reason to."

"Woah come down, this is not my fault-"

"Really? Because you seem to be relishing at all the gossip they're starting."

"You're the one who asked me to stay over! Both nights!"

By now the ones who were still in the room only stared at what was starting to unfold.

"I was being a decent human being and friend."

"Well thank you so much!" - She said sarcastically. - "Is that what you wanted from me? To get on my knees and thank you? Stop acting like I'm the one who keeps following you around begging for any ounce of attention you can give me! You wanted me to stay, stop trying to act so selfless."

"You know what? Fuck off.

Your stuff will be packed, you can stop by to get them later."

You said walking out, you were so worked up, you forgot you still had to drop off Ana.

"Hey, just came to let you know I'm getting a ride with someone else. So you can relax and go straight home." - she said as she gave your shoulder a squeeze.

"Thanks. Really." - and with that, you left.

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #dfb frauen #fc bayern frauen

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lgbtmi · 2 days

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high council of vtm blogs who follow me: i need your help for Reasons i am cooking a new vampire in my brain, and now i have not one, but four ideas and i need help picking a guy.

any feedback or commentary is allowed, but if you have a fav, feel free to vote for them under the cut <3

1 - tzimisce. presumed to be a gangrel and thus fits into nightlife semi-normally, who's gonna notice they're slightly… off… right? runs an airbnb with a 'forbidden' basement, which also serves as their haven. idk, i've not gotten much further than 'haha tzimisce except everyone thinks it's a gangrel because bOY do i love vampires posing as a different clan u feel?

2 - hecata. this is very much built around the clan compulsion. they were a true crime youtuber before their embrace, and one day just stopped uploading videos. their fanbase is split - most think they just stopped enjoying youtube, but there are two camps who either A) think they were murdered or B) faked their own death. regardless, both these camps discuss the case on reddit and turn molehills into mountains - grasping at straws in an attempt to solve the case. the hecata themself is unsure of what happened to them, the memories are fuzzy, and sometimes they think they remember and actively get on the message boards under a fake account in an attempt to solve their own death also

3 - ministry. basically gossip girl. used to run a blog in high school where they'd spread creative rumours about people, and when they were embraced, they fell right back into that. their sire indicated that most vampires don't take too kindly to the internet, though, so instead they every so often go on rumour runs, where they deliver handwritten notes to high ranking vampires with either rumours about other vampires, or thinly veiled threats along the lines of 'i know what you did to [blank] a few nights back :D'

4 - caitiff. by all means, they should have been a nosferatu. they were embraced by a nosferatu after successfully hacking into personal records database to get around having to formally change their gender marker and name on their records. something went wrong, though, and the clan curse didn't fully take, which now leaves them without a home or a family to get back to. are police now after them for hacking the government? it's more likely than you think, but hey, it's not like they lived to tell the tale :3

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i-guess-im-into-this-now · 3 days

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1E12 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Character/Location Cheat Sheet:

Sir Kounen- a formerly respected officer, who recently died

Verdigris House- a brothel that Maomao works for

Lihaku - the young officer that made a deal with Maomao

Every episode, I think Oh this is my new favorite episode. And this episode is no exception. I freaking loved this.

Oh Jinshi. The crux of your challenges has trapped you firmly, and you can't escape without making a monumental decision.

Everything in Jinshi's character arc has been leading to this moment. Will he choose to submit to the obligations of his station, or will he try to protect Maomao from this? Would she even want to be protected? Her sense of of responsibility may prevent her from wanting to escape punishment for this, but she's not personally guilty, perhaps she should be protected without her knowledge? Isn't this scenario exactly what Maomao warned could happen? That Jinshi would be powerless to prevent harm coming to Maomao?

Gaoshun offers to cover it up.

Gaoshun: We could conceal this if you wish?

Jinshi: Should I wish? Have I the right?

Jinshi's been able to get by without naming the emotions up until now. No, that's not right. I think he knows what he feels. But now he questions the appropriateness of those feelings. How deep do they go? What is he willing to do because of them? Should he even be having feelings for someone who hasn't indicated that she returns them? Does he have the right to act on her behalf when it's only him who feels this way? When she's said before that she wants to leave the palace what right does he have to keep her there?

Jinshi: Just or otherwise, if I say it, it's done.

He could do it. He could protect her from this.

Jinshi: I should just give the order. It would be such a simple thing. Conceal the facts. Keep her right here at the rear palace.

He's tempted to do it.

Jinshi: But what of will? Is mere compliance enough? How would she feel if she learned she'd been maneuvered to stay? In a place she loathes so.

Radical idea here, but he could ask her.

Got to appreciate that Jinshi is sparing a thought to how Maomao would feel about being maneuvered, as if he hasn't been doing just that throughout the entirety of their relationship. I'm glad he's realizing that it's not great behavior. Picked a hell of a time to learn respect, but here we are. We will have to watch and see if this lesson sticks.

Jinshi: I'm terrified of widening that rift growing between us any further.

Jinshi! You're so self aware! Good work!

I've thought for awhile now that Jinshi's main struggles come from external sources like the pressures of his station and expectations of this status. He seems to understand pretty well what he's feeling, and he even knows what he wants, so he's way ahead of a lot of other male leads. In this moment what he feels and what he wants is in conflict with what is expected of him. But he doesn't struggle for long with it, he's willing to defy those expectations. And what a thing to see. Jinshi just so easily lets go of the expectations of his position. He shouldn't even think about letting this girl go. The order to punish her has been given, there is no room for him to question it, it is simply his duty to fulfill it. But here we are. Very telling that. Instead, what he struggles with is: what is the best choice for Maomao. Is it better to protect her and keep her nearby or let her receive the punishment which, it sounds like would also free her from the palace?

And so he doesn't know what he should do.

Gaoshun: Master Jinshi. I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you?

Gaoshun.... you've been here the whole time, have you not been paying attention? At least listen to gossip if you can't read the room. Everyone knows what's up with these two.

That question does stop Jinshi though. He makes a frustrated sigh through his nose. No. Not merely a pawn. But the question does really force the issue: does Jinshi claim these his feelings? Even if he does, should he take them into account when making this decision? What is best for Maomao?

I do enjoy seeing him suffer.

Palace gossip! Mass lay offs! Anyone with any connection to Fengming's family is being evicted!

Maomao pieces together the problem right away. Oh poor Maomao! She's searching everywhere for Jinshi but can't find him! And she's in a panic. Her panic is making me feel panicky! I know she's worried about ending up in the brothel, and we've seen this from Maomao before. She's terrified that she might end up as a courtesan. To put this into perspective, Maomao walked into the Garnet Palace last episode, with her torso wrapped in stiffened cloth because she thought she might get slashed. And she didn't bat an eye to do that. The thought of serving clients as a courtesan is worse than the fear of death to Maomao. I'm not sure if there is more to this fear than we've already seen or not. It looks like a trauma response. That mixed with her fear of intimacy, and oof, that's a bleak future for Maomao.

Jinshi stopped in to the empty Garnet Palace. He's missing his mother. Perhaps, this is the type of thing they would have talked about, and he no longer has her to turn to for her guidance. He's so alone here, both physically in the pavilion, and emotionally, as he tries to make sense of his emotions and thoughts.

She found him! He seemed almost reluctant to turn around when he heard her call. He doesn't want to do what comes next. But he's not one to shy away from difficult conversations, even this one.

Jinshi: My how rare. You're flustered.

He tries a teasing greeting, a familiar way of relating to Maomao, maybe even a mask from him to hide the turbulence inside. Neither one of them is calm right now, even though Jinshi is doing a good job of projecting it. Maomao isn't interested in pretending to be calm, couldn't be calm even if she wanted to. She can't even form a sentence at first. Jinshi immediately drops the teasing and brings her inside to talk.

Maomao wants to know about the layoffs, if they affect her, if she's to be let go. And Jinshi hesitates in his response.

Maomao: So then, I'm to be let go too? Jinshi: ...are you?

Jinshi is letting his fear override his usually keen perception. He hears her question as hopeful.

I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you? No, she's more, he knows it. But he may be nothing more than a pawn to her. Jinshi doesn't think she returns his feelings, and if she leaves, she never will. He hears her say "I'm to be let go too?" and his heart breaks, she wants to leave.

I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you? No. She's not a pawn. She isn't something he can move around to his liking. He can't force her into a life she doesn't want. He has to let her leave.

Maomao: As Lady Gyokuyou's lady in waiting, I can ply my craft with both purpose and support. A lifestyle I cherish most dearly.

She loves living here. It is rewarding to be able to use her skills to help others. Her purpose is in how she can best serve others, and this position has allowed her to do that. She is proving her capability to herself by repeatedly succeeding on her own, rather than operating under the supervision of Luomen. This place has been good for her.

Maomao: But still, I'm just a lowly servant, I'm in no position to assert my wishes here. No matter what, I mustn't beg.

And just like Jinshi is caught by the crux of his own challenges, so is Maomao. Her worst fears about becoming a courtesan are about to come to bear, but she still can't find the self-worth to think herself worthy of asking for another path.

Maomao: My place is one of service. Should I remain then I'll be of use, from kitchen duty to food tasting. Whatever you want of me.

Jinshi considers it bitterly, whatever I want. He knows Maomao would agree to anything that Jinshi asks of her right now. If he were a different kind of man he could ask for any number of things, but none of it would be what he really wants, which is for Maomao to feel the same way.

Furthermore, she says "whatever you want of me." Yet she never says what it is that she wants. But Jinshi doesn't need for her to say that she wants to leave, after all she didn't choose this life. It was forced upon her. And who wouldn't want the freedom to make their own choices about how they should live their life? Certainly Jinshi can understand that. Whatever he wants. It doesn't matter here.

Maomao would do just about anything to avoid leaving the palace at this moment. She is so anxious as she awaits her sentence but won't speak a single word to try and sway Jinshi. To the man who always asks for her thoughts, she says none of them in this moment when it matters most.

And it's to the detriment of them both.

Jinshi: Fine then. I'll let you go.

He's letting go of everything here. He's not just letting her go from the palace, he's releasing his grasp on her. The control he has to maneuver her, the claim he laid when he gave her the hair pin, the friendship they have tenuously built up, everything. She's about to walk out of his life, and he's going to let her. He thinks this is what she wants...

Jinshi is too afraid to read Maomao, afraid of what he might see there, too wrapped up in his own pain and fear to see what her reactions reveal. He chokes back everything that's eating him alive and says he'll let her go. Which falls like a death sentence on Maomao.

A tragic miscommunication. 😭

I love what it means for the story though! Maomao is going to have to face her fears! And Jinshi... well, I just hope he'll be okay... He's had a series of major losses (Sir Kounen, Lady Ah-Duo, now Maomao). I'm actually a little worried here.

But this story was due for a shake up and Maomao has growth to do, and she's not going to do it without facing her trials. I don't write the rules, it's just how stories work!

Honestly I'm a little excited to see how she handles the debt to the brothel. I feel like her worst fears from episode 1 are about to come true. She's going to have to work at the brothel! Will Jinshi know? What will he do if he finds out? What will I do when I find out!

Oh Jinshi... is not doing well. Yeah, that wrecked him.

Gaoshun: How long do you intend to sulk like that.

That's... not a helpful thing to say. Jinshi is pretty depressed actually. And considering that he has taken hit after hit to his support network, he could really use a friend right now, not... whatever the fuck Gaoshun thinks he's doing.

Gaoshun: You could have ordered her to stay you know.

No, Gaoshun, you don't know. Jinshi has more emotional intelligence in his honeyed little finger, than you have in your whole being.

Gaoshun at least has been keeping tabs on what Maomao has been up to. We learn that she had a week to say goodbye and prepare to leave and then return to the Pleasure District. I wonder if Jinshi is also following Maomao's movements. I think he probably isn't. I think he really is trying to give her the clean break he thinks she wants. And really, wouldn't hearing about what she's been up to, just be more painful to him?

Lady Gyokuyou knows what this means to Jinshi and tells him he's made a blunder. "Blunder of the century," she calls it. God, I love her.

Wow somehow Gaoshun has managed to finally figure out that Maomao is not just a toy to Jinshi. I wonder what clued him in? Was it the utter heartbreak or the crippling depression?

Gaoshun: He only really let her go because he couldn't bear the thought of using her.

Yes.... that is correct! Good job Gaoshun!

Gaoshun is worried Jinshi won't get past this. He wants to intervene on his own. I knew he had a soft spot for Maomao! Or maybe he can't stand to see Jinshi in this state. I know it's breaking my heart. Either way I hope Gaoshun can do something! Because I'm pretty sure neither of these idiots are going to make the first move themselves.

Yup Maomao fell directly into the clutches of the Madame of Verdigris House.

She's got to go to a party outside the brothel at a wealthy nobleman's mansion. The courtesans are eager to give Maomao a glam up, and yeah she looks beautiful this way, but I wonder how she feels. She's not panicking, or being dragged to the party, so in some way she must have accepted her situation. She's always been adaptable in the past. It helps that she isn't expected to take clients of her own yet.

But it is on her mind. She list a bunch of courtesan's skills that she doesn't possess, and describes herself as "just an apothecary's daughter." We once again see her self deprecating thoughts. She can't understand what the Madame sees of value in her.

Why does the Madame insist that Maomao become a courtesan even without special skills? First of all, Maomao, may not see it, but obviously she's lovely. One only need to pay attention to the reactions she gets from those around her. She hears those compliments as meaningless flattery, and not as they are meant, which is earnestly. Second, Maomao is captivating. She's intelligent, and funny, insightful, and witty. She could charm the pants off of any client, if she were inclined to do so.

OMG, I'm excited for this party!

Maomao considers and rejects stealing. Lol. She does seem to struggle with impulse control. We've seen her binge drink before. And we've been told she can't be trusted with to be ethical with corpses. I'll add desire to steal to the list.

Lihaku came through with some of his connections to make this night happen. Awesome, he owes Maomao big time, so I'm glad he's able to do at least this.

Maomao decides to grin and bear her way through the night, as the courtesan's ply their skills to create an enchanting atmosphere.

Holy shit it's Jinshi! At the courtesan party! Yay!

Oh this is what Gaoshun arranged! He must have met with Lihaku to organize it. Good man Gaoshun. Way to maneuver Jinshi. Also, Gaoshun is finally on team JinMao! Took him long enough! I guess he just needed to know Jinshi was serious about Maomao. Gaoshun is captain of the of the ship today!

By the way, how the hell did Gaoshun get Jinshi to attend this party?! He so clearly doesn't want to be here. Is this like when guys drag their heartbroken buddies out to the club to try to cheer them up? Or does Jinshi often go out with the guys for a night on the town? Or to enjoy an evening with courtesans? I'm sure Jinshi is tons of fun at parties what with his taking pranks too far, and crying when drunk.

She frickin touched him! She did it herself! Is this an impulse she gave in to, or did she do it deliberately?

Jinshi wants nothing to do with some random courtesan at this party and asked to be left alone, until Maomao calls his name and he instantly reaches for her. She flinches back. There is a no touch policy. I wonder whether that's the only reason she pulls back. We saw in the last episode, that Maomao allowed Jinshi to hold her, and I wondered if that level of intimacy would last. Here these two are in a totally different environment, freed from the power inequality that existed between them before. She could allow him to touch her, if she chose to. Her excuse before about how he shouldn't touch her because of her class, doesn't work here. She's a courtesan, and he's a client. If she allows it, it's perfectly acceptable for him to touch her.

Jinshi comments on her makeup, but I think what he means here, is that he didn't recognize her because she looked so different, not that he has a preference of her with or without makeup. He asks why she is dressed the way she is, and is shocked to learn that she's working at this party. And yup, he hasn't been keeping track of her since she left the palace. He really did intend to let her go.

Maomao is somehow offended that Jinshi would think that she's taking clients at this party full of courtesans, after she just told him she's working here. It's a very understandable assumption for Jinshi to make, but she doesn't like that he thinks of her that way. She wants to be respectable in his eyes, even if she doesn't think she's worthy of him.

Jinshi wants to buy her out of here. No thought. Just offers it instantly. Good man. I do think he offers it with pure intensions, though, boy could it be taken with implications. Maomao mutters "actually that could work," and for a split second Jinshi thinks she's considering something he didn't mean to offer here.

Holy shit this is the realest conversation they've ever had and all it took was life altering circumstances and every possibility that they would never see each other again. A lot of the pretense between them has fallen away, because there is no reason to hold back their thoughts or emotions now. Maomao has already left the palace and Jinshi has no control over her here. She's free to interact with him honestly. And Jinshi, is hiding nothing. This is the most transparent I have seen him be with Maomao. Just completely open, with everything spilling out.

Maomao makes Jinshi laugh, when she says the only thing she missed while working in the rear palace was being able to dabble in poisons. And that is probably the first time he has laughed or even smiled since this lady walked out of his life over a week ago. You can almost see the weight lifting off him, as the conversation progresses.

It's such a beautiful scene, it's like the cloud of dread that has been hanging over both of them, is able to dissipate. Jinshi will help get Maomao out of here, and back to where she wants to be, and he'll have her close again, working in the palace. He really only needs the smallest drop of hope to motivate him.

Alone each of them struggles to face their separate challenges. Maomao with her crushing debt to the brothel, and the "sordid fate" she is desperate to avoid. Jinshi with his crushing isolation and loneliness. Together, they can easily solve each others problems. They work better when they work together.

The next exchange requires us to read between the lines but is so important:

Jinshi: Do people ever tell you, you're hard to read?

I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

Maomao: Yes. Routinely.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I wanted.

And just like that, they're friends again. This is the best.

And Jinshi, would really, really like to touch her now. She took her boundary down for him before, and now she's trying to put it back up. He's not having it. They've both worked hard to take down the walls between them, and he's not going to let her retreat just because she's scared. He keeps pushing her, until he gets a concession.

Maomao: And here I'd almost forgotten how persistent this guy could be.

It's something she likes about him. That he doesn't give up on her. That he pushes her to be brave and take chances. She sighs and acts like she's begrudgingly allowing him a favor, but I think she's actually nervous, and anticipative. It's not something she could ever ask him to do, and probably not something she would like to admit she wants from him. That he has been so persistent gives her the pretense she needs to indulge in it, without having to examine her own desires.

Woah.

Holy shit.! That was actually really hot.

Jinshi touched her lips with his fingers then he touched them to his own.

Damn, I love when characters do that. When they take a bite of food at the same place as the person of their affections. Or drink from a cup in the same spot. When you do it in front of that person, it's a declaration of a desire to kiss them. And the freaking eye contact right after. God damn.

Jinshi has no right being this hot right now, with that smudge of lipstick on his own lips. Maomao agrees. So does everyone at the party. Literally every courtesan in the room thought that was hot as fuck. Could there be any higher praise?

Of course Gaoshun is pleased! Freaking Gaoshun whose life just got so much easier, now that his boss isn't going to be sulking all week. Gaoshun who arranged this whole affair. Gaoshun the MVP, the GOAT, the KING. Thank you my man for saving the JinMao ship!

Maomao blanks out for the rest of the night, unable to think of anything but that kiss thing that Jinshi did. Most of the other courtesans are so, so happy for her (I'm not sure about the one in red). In their eyes Maomao just did something amazing. She so thoroughly enchanted a man in her first night of working that he offered to buy her out. None of them are jealous, none of them are questioning what he saw in her. They are just so very happy for this girl they adore.

We see her later, back in Verdigris house, she's freckle free and feeling mostly okay about it. We aren't seeing the anxiety that we did before. She still thinks it's a good idea to paint them on her face, because altering her appearance does offer her more protection, but it seems like her motives for wanting to do it are shifting slightly.

Maomao ponders the quirks of her strange fate. And how much things have changed in the year or so that she's been at the palace. She's worried about the people in the rear palace. It's where her heart and mind keep straying.

The Madame asks Maomao what she plans to do from now on. And that is the question isn't it. She'll have to pay off Verdigris House of course, but she already knows Jinshi will help her with that. Will she have a debt to him for this? She will probably see it as such, regardless of how Jinshi sees it. They didn't exactly go into details when they were discussing Jinshi buying her out of her contract, but it sounded like Maomao was planning on working off that debt at the palace. I get the feeling that this won't be like before, where Maomao was an indentured servant. Where she was forced to do whatever was asked of her. I think she'll be offered a job as a free agent. An employee with a lot of debt, but not one who is owned by the palace. But is this what Maomao wants? She loved working as Lady Gyokuyou's food taster. Will she be able to return to that position after just being expelled from it? Will Jinshi offer her a totally different job? Maybe there is something she is even more suited to, that she will enjoy? Somewhere in the palace that she can still practice medicine. Regardless, we know Jinshi will seek her help in the quandaries that fall to him. Also, will her new position in the palace give her a chance to visit the mysterious "annex?" I'm not giving up on that until this show explains it!

Maomao: It's not as if the Rear Palace and brothels are really that different.

Again comparing the two places.

Maomao is at her father's home, and can't sleep. Maomao is pondering what she wants. She may really have some latitude to choose her path now. She could just stay at her father's home. She could help in the garden, continue to learn medicine from him, slowly take over his apothecary trade. It's the path she thought she wanted in the beginning of the story.

She's back where she started this story but she's not at all the same.

But now she's seen a different path. She loved her work in the Rear Palace. There were people there who relied upon her, and it felt really good to be needed and wanted. There are people there that she cares about. Should she really walk away from them?

Maomao: The difference between a brothel and a palace is ornamental. It's a garden and it's a cage.

We see Maomao in the snow covered garden. It's Winter, the snow blankets everything. It's a time of rest and reflection. A time to prepare for the spring that will come. Maomao reflects on a series of images that took place over the last year, perhaps she's reflecting on her role in each of the scenarios, ways she was able to be of help to others. She has the agency to choose her place now, so where will she choose to plant herself this Spring? Where will she grow and blossom? Which garden will she allow to cage her?

And of course Jinshi came for her. Was there ever any doubt? He brings a fortune with him to pay off Maomao's contract. I'm choosing to believe that he far over paid because Maomao is worth a great deal more than any debt she owed. And Jinshi, god he's so thoughtful and brilliant for this, he brings her a rare herb. She knows what it is with a glance and now she's just as happy as the Madame. He really pays attention to everything, and knew precisely what would make a perfect gift for her. A gift he didn't have to bring. A gift that is so well done, that it changes what is the disreputable business of buying another human being, into something else entirely. This is much more like a bride price, given by a groom to the family of a bride. Not that I think that is what is happening here, but the significance of the gift changes the implications of this moment.

This episode seems to revolve around choice. Specifically for Maomao. Small choices like, should she allow Jinshi to touch her? And big choices, like what kind of life will she choose for herself? Whereas in the first part of this series, Maomao adapted to whatever situation she was thrown in, now she can do what she wants. But that requires her to know what she wants. And that requires self-reflection and honesty. Vulnerability. Which is something Maomao consistently struggles with. I'm so interested to see what she chooses.

To start at the beginning:

Chapter 1

Next Episode:

Episode 13

#the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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aettuddae · 3 days

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high garden academy — chapter 57.

⟢ synopsis: a new school year begins at the high garden academy boarding school, bringing with it new students, and among them, the new center of attention for the drama-thirsty student body: the hong sisters. eunchae and her mysterious and unsympathetic older sister, daein, who oddly seem uninterested in the secrets, legends, and gossip of their new school. winter, the institution's top student, and karina, the popular girl and promising pianist, never imagined they would end up so closely involved with hong daein.

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[written chapter]

daein opened the door with the "7-A" on it. tired, but with the feeling that she'd had a good day. ready to throw herself on her bed and sink into her pillow until someone, possibly jennie, came to break into her calm and remind her of her responsibilities.

but her plan changed completely when she set foot inside her room and found her mattress covered in clothes, as well as the floor.

with her mood changing drastically and cursing as she surveyed the mess, she went deeper inside only to find the cause of the chaos: karina. the girl was tucked inside the closet going through every corner of it, taking whatever clothes came in front of her eyes, examining them and then tossing them all into the various piles that had been created around her.

taking a better look, the newcomer noticed that even her drawers and suitcase were open and disorganized. there was almost no place in her own dorm that hadn't been ravaged by the pianist.

"what the fuck are you doing?" shrieked daein on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

karina turned around in exaltation due to the sudden company and, noticing daein's frantic state, paused to think about what she should do to avoid earning a parade of shouts and insults. although she was still annoyed with her, she thought the smart thing to do would be to treat her kindly so she wouldn't have to put up with her bitterness.

"aeinie!" she crooned to the accompaniment of jazz hands.

it wasn't her brightest idea. it only caused the biker's pent-up anger to grow and ended with the girl having a hysterical fit due to the mess.

"okay, okay..." the younger girl carefully approached and grabbed her shoulders. "calm down, you're more irritable than usual."

"how do you want me to calm down?" she waved her hands euphorically through the air. "it looks like a fucking hurricane went through my room!"

something flashed through the youngest's mind, causing a giggle to come out from under her breath.

"hurricane karina." she couldn't contain her intrusive thought.

the older one could only stare at her in shock with her mouth hanging open.

"i hope you know i never hated anyone as much as i hate you." she expressed to then bite down hard as she glared at her. the helplessness she felt at that moment had immobilized her and she could only stand there thinking how she was going to have to sort through that whole mess while karina took it as a joke.

"if you keep saying it, maybe it'll start to sound convincing." she made a motion to wink one eye, but it didn't come out the way it should and she ended up closing both of them.

"how come not even winking you can do right?"

"hey," she looked at her defiantly. "it's not a skill i need to survive in the world." she inspected her up and down, noting that her clothes were oddly neat. "where were you?" curiosity distracted her.

"can you tell me why my room is a disaster?" she folded her arms, ignoring karina.

"won't you answer me?" she copied the position.

"with minjeong." she admitted casually, causing the contrarian to roll her eyes. "why are you here?" she repeated.

"i hope you didn't forget that we have a dinner with my parents." she reminded after giving a sigh, adopting an angry attitude.

"yes, i know that." she stated with annoyance. "but i was hoping i'd only have to see you that day."

"i came to pick something for you to wear that day." she explained, turning to inspect her clothes. "you know, because you usually dress like a beggar and would never go out of your way to look presentable for me like you do for your little friend." she pointed her finger at her, highlighting her outfit.

"you could have asked me to pick out something decent instead of coming in and turning my room upside down." daein obfuscated.

"you think i trust you?" she threw her a judgmental look. "but i have amazing news for you." announced excitedly.

"what did you find?" the owner of the room scanned her surroundings trying to find the clothes the other had liked.

"nothing!" she exclaimed. "your fashion sense is completely broken." she added with wry glee in her voice.

"and what's the good news?" she thought for a moment. "i'm not going to have to come to the dinner?" she assumed copying the same ironic tone karina was using.

"no, you're going to have to come with me to the mall." she reported. "and you can't refuse." she spoke quickly as she noticed daein opened her mouth to throw a tantrum.

"when do you want us to do that?" she questioned stressed as she followed karina with her eyes, who was pacing around the place gathering her belongings.

"right now." she said simply.

"what?" daein frowned. "you weren't even thinking of asking me if i'm free?" she took a few steps following her. "don't you think this is all very abrupt?" yu wouldn't say anything back, so she took her arm and tugged on it to turn the girl towards her, bringing their faces relatively close. "karina." she called irritated at her lack of attention.

"are you going to stop whining or do you want me to kiss you to shut you up?" she challenged in a deep, confident voice, her eyes moving from hong's eyes to her lips repeatedly.

"do it if you want, but then don't get mad when i don't act like your lapdog afterwards." she shrugged.

the blackhaired let out a dry, incredulous laugh, with a hint of indignation. she took her eyes off daein while turning away from her, then walked towards the door without saying much, her movements clearly strained by the negative atmosphere that had just been created between them.

"let's go." she commanded walking out of the room.

"is that my hoodie?" hesitated daein from behind inspecting her. "that's my hoodie." she confirmed to herself.

"and this? do you like it?" karina lifted up a blue garment.

"is that a vest?" she looked at the fabric disapprovingly.

"yes, aein, it's a vest." she affirmed obviously.

"put that away." she ordered, turning back to the clothes she was looking at before.

this was already their fourth store. they had been wandering around the mall for at least two hours, trying to find something they could agree on. after two stores chosen by karina, they entered one that was daein's liking, but found nothing there. although they had some bags with personal purchases, they hadn't decided on anything good for the dinner, and they didn't seem capable of doing so.

everything daein liked, karina hated or didn't find suitable, and vice versa. both were quite irritated by this point and were showing random clothes to each other with no real interest as they had lost all hope and motivation.

"you know what i've been thinking?" the younger one spoke from one side of the rack. "this?" she lifted a ruffled shirt.

"no." she shook her head after looking at it. "so, you know how to think?" she countered from the other side of the same structure.

"you do know i have one of the highest averages at high garden, right?" she raised an eyebrow.

"really?" she questioned uninterestedly. "do you like it?" she showed her a pair of pants, karina shook her head. "if only you talked more about things like that instead of... your boyfriend." she referred to the new information.

"he's not my boyfriend." she hurried to say.

"then why are we doing all this for?" she looked up at her, exhausted.

"because... uh..." she shook her head from side to side stressed. "it's complicated, just keep searching." she indicated, dismissing the topic. "i was thinking we don't know anything about each other."

"thankfully." she chose a suit jacket. "what about this?"

"no." she rejected and lifted a t-shirt, but daein gave her a disliking look. "i mean, we can't pretend to be a couple in front of my parents if we have no idea who we are."

"we know what we need to know." she brushed off while continuing to look for something to buy.

"do you want to know what i know about you?" karina leaned on the top of the counter. "you have a motorcycle, you do drugs, you like soccer." she raised a finger for each fact. "and not to be evident, but that sounds like something no parent wants near their daughter." she put her hands in the air dramatically.

"i only know you have money and you like to adopt creatures to take care of." she leaned her weight on the wood just like the opposite.

"see? we don't seem like girlfriends." she stated matter of factly.

"because we're not." she countered.

"but we have to pretend we are." repeated, then continued looking at clothes, switching to the furniture behind her, turning her back to the biker. "is there anything you want to know about me?"

"no." she honestly clarified without changing her position.

"how charming." she picked up a shirt and walked over to daein, taking her by the arm to pull her towards her and make her stand properly to put the garment on her chest so she could have an idea of how it would look. "do you like this?"

"why do you want to dress me like a christian peasant?" she frowned.

"do you even know my name?" she continued inspecting.

"ka... tarina?"

"katarina is my baptismal name." she explained. "my name is yu jimin." she added.

"jimin." she let out a short laugh. "jimin makes you sound tiny."

"daein makes you sound like a boy." she pointed her finger accusingly at her.

"what do you say?" she displayed another pair of pants without paying her attention.

"they're fine." she agreed after scanning them.

"i can't believe we just settled on something." she hung the chosen clothes on her forearm. "is there anything else you want me to know about you?"

"i don't know." she turned on her heels and leaned her back against a shelf. "my favorite color is blue, i'm an aries, i like dinosaurs, i play the piano." she began listing all the things that came to her mind.

"i already know you play the piano." she mentioned, distracted with a pile of jackets.

"how do you know i play the piano?" she asked bewildered.

"i saw you the other day with your... situationship." she recalled. "besides, you had already told me."

"did i?"

"yes, in one of our first chats." whenever daein spoke, she did so without any emotion.

"and you remember?"

"why wouldn't i?" she disregarded.

"i was just saying..." she murmured, turning back towards the furniture. "tell me something about yourself."

"about me?" she fell silent. "i like this shirt, do you?"

"why do you want to go have dinner with my parents looking like bob the builder?" she examined the loose checkered shirt daein had in her hands.

"something about me." she sighed, drained, and put down what she was holding. "my favorite color is red."

"is that all?" she stared at her in disbelief.

"what else do you want me to say?" she returned eye contact, without much interest.

"is there anything you really care about?" she asked desperately due to the lack of knowledge she had about the other.

"the reds." she stated with certainty.

"i can't believe you." she left her head fall defeated. "you're a dude." karina theatrically brought her hand to her forehead.

"i didn't judge you because you like dinosaurs." she reproached.

"dinosaurs are awesome." defended. "let's see, why do you like that team so much?"

"because it's mom's favorite." told naturally.

"see?" she exclaimed. "there's something you care about, your mother!" pointed out cheerfully.

"my mother died." she diverted her focus to continue looking for something they both liked.

"oh..."

"just kidding."

"who the hell jokes about their mother dying!?" she voiced disturbed.

"i do."

"god, what about your father?" she resumed the conversation.

"next question." she evaded with a noticeable hint of annoyance.

"well, now i know three more things about you: your favorite color is red, you have a terrible sense of humor and you have daddy issues." she teased.

"yu jimin." daein gave her a questioning look.

"i see you learned my name." joked the youngest.

"i don't know." the biker took a moment to choose what to say. "another thing that matters to me could be..." she pondered. "eunchae."

"it must be hard for you to be on bad terms with her." she assumed, changing her voice tone to a more serious one, empathizing with her.

"it's my fault, so..." she swept.

"but you still have the right to feel sad." reassured.

"i guess." she let out in a whisper, mixed with the breath she apparently had been holding for a while, and her eyes wandered as she thought. it was clear the subject affected her.

"do you need a hug?" she extended her limbs, offering comfort.

"stay away from me." she became agitated at the mere idea of receiving the pianist's touch, quickly changing the atmosphere from a melancholic to a brutal one.

"aeinie..." she took a step towards her.

"yu jimin, don't come any closer." she abruptly moved away.

"aeinie." jimin kept walking quickly towards her.

"enough!" hong began to run through the store so she wouldn't be caught.

"come here." she lunged to chase her.

(!)

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