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quiet-kunoichi · 3 years

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“ every piece of me is made from what you did to me. ”

[ lost meme | @suck-my-tomato | verse; post modern ]

The city lights are fuzzy; little halos of color either holding still or blinking in the near distance. She's on her fourth cigarette — chain smoking through the fresh pack in the hopes that she'll smoke out every last molecule of oxygen in her lungs. Each one was gnawed down to the filter before she flicked them over the edge and watched the free fall with a churn of jealousy. The rooftop of her 17-story apartment building was usually vacant; and especially so, at this hour. But for whatever god forsaken reason, Sasuke had conjured at her side. He's quiet; almost as if respecting her chosen solitude. How he wound up finding her, Kimiko didn't bother asking. She wish he hadn't bothered: her mind was made up already, but his presence only made things harder than they had to be. He doesn't say anything, and neither does she. A stalemate is formed in the wake of their strangled silence — all of those things left unsaid were discarded like the flick of excess ashes. "You said you wouldn't leave again." His voice rolls over the background trill of an ambulance siren; Kimiko's sunken and dulled stare trails the miniature vehicle as though mildly entertained by the flashing lights and the curiosity of who was awaiting their arrival. Her exhale of secondhand smoke filters through pressed lips, cancer hanging from them as she taps her thumb on the rim of her open bottle. It was well tended to: she'd been nursing the amber liquid for the majority of the night. "I'm right here, aren't I?" She replies to him, voice raspy. Another little swig is passed through her lips in the hopes that it'll provide some lubricant for her throat. Since he was here to have yet another 'talk.' At least it couldn't end as horridly as the last one did — his rejection in lieu of their reignition had sent the naively hopeful Tamashi reeling. 'I can't do this. I've changed; I don't cheat anymore.' The taste of that wretched poison still remained stained on the back of her tongue. No amount of whiskey could wash it down, though she's been giving it a good try. Kimiko had begun to believe that no amount of liquor would make that horrid truth dissipate. Someone deserved the newly-loyal version of Sasuke.. but Kimiko would never get that kind of special treatment. She would never be his 'someone', again. "You stopped showing up to meetings." Sasuke explains on the exhale of a little sigh. If Kimiko had bothered to look over at him, she'd noticed that not only was he refusing to look at her as well, but that tear-tracks were engraved into his cheeks. The two had become fairly fluent in the language of shedding their pain silently when next to one another. "You stopped responding to me." He adds this on quieter, and she can hear the shift of his rain jacket as he adjusts uncomfortably. Kimiko didn't have the stomach to block his number, this time. But the duality of their fallen-star situation included not having the guts to pick up the phone when his name and number lit up the screen. In truth, she wasn't taking this rejection well ( obviously ). The murmured words of endearment they had shared, the mutual look of delicate yearning, and the hesitancy of their lips meeting that quickly thereafter bloomed into indescribable passion — it had elicited a wash of relief over the weary girl. He understood her at last. He needed her just as much as she needed him. He still loved her. Or, at least — Kimiko had hoped he did. But then his phone buzzed right off of the table and he separated from their soft collision: and then he decided right then and there that Kimiko still wasn't enough. Or perhaps just too much. Either way it hurt. And it shouldn't have. It should have been expected, after all that time being the girl on the outskirts of his attentions; swept into the eye of the storm by her own persistence before she ( reluctantly, violently, silently, unfairly ) tore herself away until the cycle rolled over unto itself once again. "Why do you bother with me?" She asks at last, her voice strung in a loose drawl as she flicks the butt of her fourth

cigarette over the ledge of the building. "I'm nobody." Kimiko acknowledges her version of the truth as though it were simple fact. Following it is another sip from the bottle. He's saying something, and his voice sounds careful — like he was playing minesweeper and the stakes were unbelievably high. Unfortunately, Kimiko cannot even bring herself to listen: that horrid ache is back in her chest, calling glaring attention to the obvious hollow in the cavity. Gods, she was so tired of this existence. Everyone expected so much out of the girl who was worn down beyond her means to give. Even now, she was probably being judged and ridiculed for the ways in which she chose to cope: Sasuke probably assumed that he alone was the sole cause of all her woes, and he couldn't be further from the truth. But now she had nothing; except for a whole lot of pain. An unfillable ache that used to pang every now and again but had steadily worsened into a constant, unignorable throb. Something plucks the fabric of her jacket in between her shoulder blades and tugs her back a step ( or two, for she stumbled ). Kimiko rouses from her dissociative spell just in time to hear his request that she 'stop hanging over the ledge of the building, like that.' She hadn't even noticed; it's not like it very much mattered anyway. Everyone dies, she was well aware — and after playing the role of marionette all her life, the sole Tamashi ought to have a choice in her own demise, at the very least. But she heeds his warning, hands dipping into her pockets only to peek at her carton and realize that she'd run herself dry. Yeah, go figure. She'd be pissed at herself, if she even had the energy to be anything in this moment other than dully despondent ( but mostly numb ). Sasuke is speaking again, perhaps trying to get through to the girl; but she's hardly present for any of it. The rain has begun to shed tears upon the two, and Kimiko lifts her chin to the sky in quiet acceptance. “ every piece of me is made from what you did to me. ” It's one of the only sentences that got through to her. Droplets run down her face and blend in with her expressionless tears; or so she hopes. If that was supposed to slice her through, if it was supposed to provide some sort of comfort in knowing that she had left any kind of impact upon the Uchiha, — it didn't. She told herself that it didn't, blinking past the wet that collected in her lashes and regarding him as though he were a mere stranger. But he wasn't, and she resented herself for still hanging onto his every word as though they alone would decide her fate. His lingering stare is tumultuous, like the roiling waves of the sea. Whether he was hurt, afraid, disgusted, pleading, hopeful — her response wouldn't have changed. "You don't think I'm well enough aware of what I've done to you? You don't think that every single action and inaction on my behalf doesn't stick to me, make it harder to go through the simple motions of my day?" Her tone is clipped, or it could expose her obvious exhaustion: she wanted to be frustrated, but her tank had been neglected and left on E. Instead, she just hums a little sigh, shoulders dipped beneath the weight of all she'd been made to carry over the years. "As much as I'd love to stick around and hear the details of all the ways I've wounded you," I think I'd rather die. "I think I'd rather just be alone." So, she turns and heads towards the door to return to her mothball infested apartment just to hear the sound of those letters as they crinkle forgotten under her foot. "I'm not walking out," She responds towards the door with the kind of strain that comes with persistent pressure upon an otherwise debilitated psyche. Hand upon the cool brass as the rain starts to pick up to an unrelenting downpour, Kimiko hesitates. This was so difficult; how the Tamashi wished for just one thing to be easy, like it used to be. For despite having nary a sliver of energy left in her shell, she decides to whittle her bones and dole out what little lie she could afford to sell him. "I just

need a little space right now. I'm trying to do what's best for you, for both of us. Just.. Trying to let go." So it wasn't totally a lie; though she wasn't trying nearly as hard as she ought to be. Turning her cheek to her shoulder, Kimiko lifts a single dimmed headlight beam and captures his lonesome visage upon the rooftop. It aches, oh how it fucking aches beyond belief. To leave him up here, abandon him despite his effort to find her. If she could have it her way, Kimiko would have encircled him into a permanent embrace — but it wasn't what he wanted, and no one deserved a disease. ".. I'll see you at next week's meeting, Sasuke." So she had it in herself to dish out one last measly lie, after all.

#suckmytomato #welp #im crying #maybe youre crying #and where's the icecream??#verse; post modern #replied;#hanging by a red thread; sasskimi #tw; suicide mention #tw; alcohol

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melekinh · 4 years

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I redid the Inquisitor as companion thing 😳 I couldn’t find the original person who posted the template so I put it in a google doc here. If anyone knows who the OP is please let me know so I can credit them!

Inquisitor’s Name: Vianni Lavellan

Race / Class / Specialization: Dalish Elf, Dual-Wielding Rogue (Tempest) & Mage (Rift Mage)

Gender Identity: Nonbinary Woman

Varric’s Nickname for them: Magpie

Short bio:

Vianni grew up with their clan alongside their younger sibling Nialros, who they practically raised after the deaths of their parents. They were married to their childhood sweetheart, Danishan, when they came of age, and they had a daughter named Vylara together. Vianni’s role as an ambassador for the clan often took them away from home, and when they returned from one of their trips to find Vylara had died in their absence, it broke their heart and tore them and Danishan’s marriage apart. They left the clan and traveled for a few years, researching Elvhen history independently and offering aid to the elves in the cities they passed through. Vianni’s reserved and withdrawn, but feels a strong compulsion to help others that inspires others and makes it easy to follow them.

Initial Companion Card:

(The Hermit) Walking into the treeline of a forest, with their face partially covered by a hood. A city they’ve just departed from is in the background, and their eyes look both sad and determined. They hold a dagger in one hand, and are producing a soft light to guide their way with the other.

Recruitment Mission:

Leliana’s people would have gotten wind of someone stealing supplies from the rogue templars and mages and redistributing them to refugees in the crossroads. The inquisitor finds Vianni outside the templar encampment in the hinterlands, but they disappear before the fighting begins. They reappear after the inquisitor has taken out the templar camp, having already looted it for supplies during the fighting. They thank them for getting rid of them- they’d been stealing small odds and ends from it for weeks to help the refugees. They offer their services to the Inquisition after seeing they could probably make a bigger impact by working with them.

Where they’d be in Haven/Skyhold:

In Haven, inside the apothecary helping Adan mix grenades.

In Skyhold, in a nook in the library

Personal Quest:

Vianni will suddenly become withdrawn from the Inquisitor, and upon being prompted reveals the seven year anniversary of their daughter’s death, Vylara, is approaching, and they would like to visit her grave near the frostback basin for the first time since they buried her. If the Inquisitor agrees, Vianni is locked into the party. Upon arriving, you find the area is riddled with demons and rifts, and every time you near one, a wisp-like spirit helps the party seal the rift. The closer you get to the grave, the clearer the wisp’s voice becomes, and Vianni (who’s very distressed) says it sounds familiar. When you finally close the last rift, the wisp takes the form of Vianni’s daughter. Vianni begins to break down, apologizing to her for not being there to save her. If Solas is in the party, he tells them the spirit is not actually Vylara, but a spirit of curiosity. The spirit reveals that Vianni’s daughter had been a mage, but had been keeping it secret until Vianni came home from their last trip. The spirit and Vylara had been friends, and the spirit wanted to tell Vianni that Vylara wouldn’t want them to blame themselves. Vianni embraces the spirit, and their daughter’s form melts away. Vianni asks the inquisitor to help them clean their daughter’s grave. They greatly approve of the inquisitor helping, and slightly disapproves if they don’t.

They ask the party to return to Skyhold without them- they want to spend the night there, and go back to their clan for a short while.

They return a month later, looking more at peace with themself than before. They thank the inquisitor for their help, and depending on how the conversation goes, their romance is locked in here.

How to get their approval/disapproval:

Vianni has a strong instinct to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and will slightly approve of anything that helps the less fortunate or the oppressed. They would slightly approve of the inquisitor asking them respectful and genuine questions about the Dalish, and slightly disapprove of ignorant or rude questions. They wouldn’t approve of sit in judgement decisions that result in making anyone tranquil.

Break down of Approval Ratings for Major Missions:

Fate of the Mages

Conscript: Slightly Disapproves

Ally: Approves

Fate of the Templars:

Disband: Approves

Ally: Slightly Disapproves

Inquisitor’s Lead:

A Dwarf/Elf/Qunari stands for us all: Approves

Example as a Mage: Slightly Approves

For Faith: Disapproves

For Order: Slightly Approves

For What’s Right: Greatly Approves

To Stop Corypheus: Approves

For Personal Power: Greatly Disapproves

For Vengeance: Slightly Disapproves

Fate of the Wardens:

Exile: Disapproves

Ally: Approves

Ruler of Orlais:

Gaspard: Greatly Disapproves

Briala (Through Gaspard): Greatly Approves

Celene: Disapproves

Reunite Celene & Briala: Slightly Disapproves

Public Truce: Slightly Disapproves

Arrest Florianne: Approves

Save Celene: Slightly Disapproves

Kill Celene: Greatly Approves

Abelas Alliance

Ally: Greatly Approves

Reject: Greatly Disapproves

Drink from the Well:

Non-Lavellan Inquisitor Drinks: Slightly Disapproves

Lavellan Inquisitor Drinks: Approves

Morrigan Drinks: Disapproves

Are They Romanceable?

Yes- I think their romance would have to do with them and the inquisitor becoming comfortable enough for them to confide their past in, and building the trust to move on from the pain of their previous marriage. They’d be an attentive and sweet partner, who falls into domesticity with ease. They’re bisexual and romanceable by an inquisitor of any race or gender, but it will be harder for them to trust a human enough to let their walls down.

Can you have sex with them?

Yes

Are they open to polyamory?

No. They don’t have a problem with it, they just wouldn’t be comfortable with it in their own love life.

If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who?

Yes- if not romanced by the inquisitor and taken out in the same party past a certain point, Vianni and Solas will begin having academic discussions that become more and more flirtatious. They will also start to appear in the rotunda instead of their usual location in Skyhold, sitting with a book on Solas’ couch. They stay with the Inquisition after he leaves, but are considerably withdrawn after.

Who are they friendly with?

Vianni is generally a very amicable person, but is closest with Solas, Josephine, a softened Leliana, Sera, and Varric.

Who do they dislike?

I think they’d dislike a hardened Leliana, and probably have a rocky or distrustful start with Cassandra and Bull that would lead into mutual respect. They’d like Blackwall until they find out about his lie, after which they’d hate him.

Companion Card Changes: (use a text desc. if you don’t have visuals)

Loyalty: (Three of Swords in Reverse) Vianni’s hood is no longer drawn, and three daggers float in the air suspended by their magic. They have a warm smile on their face, and a halo of gold shines from behind them.

Loyalty Alternative: (The Three of Swords) Vianni’s silhouette walking into the mountains, sparing a last look over their shoulder at Skyhold

Romanced: (Two of Cups) A close-up of Vianni grasping the inquisitor’s gloved hand in their own in what looks to be a handfasting ceremony, gazing at the inquisitor with a loving smile

Side Missions:

Bookwyrm: Vianni will ask you to help them find a ruin in the Emerald Graves that they suspect holds Elvhen artefacts. Upon finding the ruin, you fight dragonlings and walking corpses within, eventually fighting a possessed dragon in the lowest chamber. After killing the dragon you find an ancient Elvhen tome, which you can give to Vianni (resulting in Great Approval)

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit?

Vianni thinks mages should be free, and while they think circles aren’t necessary they think something like them that offers mages the option of an education should be available to those who want it, rather than being forced on them. While they personally are more predisposed to trust mages than templars, they can empathize with the plight of the templars as well after learning more about them from Cullen and Cassandra, and actually thinks it makes more sense to get their help to close the breach. (but they think the Inquisitor should disband the Order rather than ally with them.)

They’re afraid for everyone in the world who’s defenseless and can’t make a difference, which is why they feel obligated to do so.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party:

Vianni stays with the Inquisition unless asked to leave.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your Inquisitor holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?

They are distraught and furious, and want to crawl out of this broken skin that doesn’t feel like it belongs to them. They have no desire to live, they just want to go down fighting.

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace?

Vianni was the ambassador for their clan years ago, so they excel at and delight in political intrigue. They are very fascinated with Briala, and would try to covertly talk to the servants to hear if Briala’s work is helping them, and if so, how they can help Briala.

If romanced, you will be able to share a dance and a kiss on the balcony.

In the Fade: Your Inquisitor’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Fear’s taunt, and Inquisitor’s response? Epitaph on their grave?

Their reaction would be a mixture of uneasiness and academic curiosity- they would love to get the opportunity to spend more time observing how physical objects interact with things in the fade and what secrets are to be found there, but ultimately stay focused on the goal to escape.

Their epitaph would say: ‘Not Changing Anything’

The Nightmare will taunt Vianni by telling them it’s their fault their daughter died, and who she would’ve been if she’d lived.

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser?

Vianni stays with the Inquisition, staying close to the inquisitor in their travels after the defeat of Corypheus, assuming they ended on good terms. Their sibling Nialros joins up as well, and the two have been working alongside Dagna studying magical things in Solas’ absence.

During Trespasser they’re happy to see everyone come together again, but are worried about the future of the Inquisition and the inquisitor themselves. They will be shocked and confused by Solas’ identity initially, but not be too surprised after ruminating on it more.

Vianni stays with you no matter what if you romanced them (or if you had high approval with them and they did not get together with Solas.)

If they got together with Solas and had high approval with the Inquisitor, they decide to stay with the Inquisition to try and stop him/save him, depending on what the Inquisitor chooses to do.

If they got together with Solas and the Inquisitor did not have high approval, they will try to do what they can to protect him from the inside- though they could be swayed into believing his death is a necessity.

If the Inquisitor told Vianni to leave, and they had gotten together with Solas, Vianni is on Solas’ side and working with him.

Other Major Events: Any other major events that happen with them over the course of the main game?

nah I’m tired lol

#rosirambles #oc: vianni lavellan #long post

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missytearex · 5 years

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Happy fanworks appreciation day! Now, I know WIPs aren’t exactly everybody’s cup of tea, BUT I actually love them. I love the excitement of waking up to a new chapter that’s been posted and feeling like I’m a part of something while it’s happening. So, if any of you feel the same way, or if you see something amazing and you just can’t help yourself, go check them out and give them a chance!

Please note that this is by no means a comprehensive list. I’m only including works that I have come across and am either currently reading or want to read at some point.

✏️ Kiss Me Deadly by @13ways-of-looking, @twopoppies

larry | not rated — 5/20

The world’s most ingenious art thief has committed a series of heists, replacing world-famous masterpieces with forgeries. Harry Styles, an FBI agent straight out of training, happens to have a fine art degree and a bum knee. When Harry is sent to Miami with his FBI mentor to break the case, he meets a real estate agent who deals in more than condominiums, and comes face to face with a gorgeous surfer, the human equivalent of an unridable superbreak— the devilishly clever, incomparably hot Louis Tomlinson.

✏️ Need by @dimpled-halo

larry | 7k so far | explicit — 2/?

After another world tour, Harry can’t wait to get home to Louis and finally begin their wedding preparations. Louis’ got his hands full, on the verge of signing a new artist and having to deal with someone he thought he’d erased from his past. With all the stress trying to get the best of Louis, he’s in need of a little help.

Help only Harry can provide.

✏️ Out of Paradise by @whimsicule

larry | 21k so far | mature — 1/3

scotland yard inspector styles travels to berlin in the winter of 1924, chasing defector liam payne and a suspected network of communist radicals. faced with open hostility from his german counterparts, it is far too easy to fall into the city’s nefarious nightlife and give in to a part of himself he’d vowed to lock away forever.

✏️ Almost In Your Arms by @goldbootsandvans

larry | 24k so far | explicit — 3/?

It’s 1953, and Louis Tomlinson is a household name after winning two Academy Awards in his career. Now he’s about to star in his first period piece: Hadrian, the story of the gay Roman Emperor. He has one rule, though, and that is to never get involved with another actor. That rule gets hard to follow when he starts to fall for his love interest in the film, and even harder when they’re put into a publicity relationship.

✏️ Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning by @helloamhere

larry | 24k so far | explicit — 5/?

For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right.

✏️ The Blood of Words by @mediawhorefics

larry | 33k so far | mature — 3/?

Louis Tomlinson hasn’t sworn off relationships per se. He just doesn’t think he’s quite ready for one yet, despite his therapist’s encouragements. He’s comfortable in his position as editor for Styles Publishing and he’s happy to focus on his career while he gives himself more time to heal.

Enter his CEO’s brother, a boxer with a heart of gold who is determined to carve himself a space in Louis’ life and, more importantly, his heart.

✏️ Tied Down by @ham-palpert

larry | 39k so far | explicit — 5/6

The most interesting case in Liam and Niall’s careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

✏️ A Fantastic Wreck by @13ways-of-looking

larry | 40k so far | explicit — 3/8

Prince Louis William Tomlinson, heir to the Kingdom of Doncaster, has arrived in Rome to make an important announcement— his betrothal to Princess Eleanor of Anesidora, whom he barely knows. His grandfather, King William, lies gravely ill, and the country’s fate is in his hands.

What harm could it possibly be to leave the embassy for one day? Prince Louis has never fallen in love, mainly because he has a secret that cannot be disclosed. He’s never even had a proper kiss.

When he bumps into a journalist named Harry Styles, their mutual attraction is undeniable. But Harry, too, has a secret.

A WIP based on the movie “Roman Holiday,” starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck.

✏️ Harry Styles Cooks… by @magicalrocketships

larry | 46k so far | explicit — 14/?

In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker.

Or: Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

✏️ cut your teeth on my heart by @turnyourankle

larry | 48k so far | explicit — 4/6

Louis has worked as a security officer for years, but he’s handed his first opportunity to be team lead. The assignment is nothing like what he expected.

Harry has spent years trying to distance himself from the pressure of the Twist name and legacy. But it’s going to be hard to avoid when his mum hires him a bodyguard.

✏️ Starry, Starry Night by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse

larry | 54k so far | not rated — 16/20

AU where Harry’s getting a degree in fine arts but he’s always envied street artists their freedom and the thrill coming from illegal activity. One day, he notices a particular graffiti and decides to paint into it. Louis does graffiti. One day, somebody starts messing with his murals.

✏️ Best of me by niamcuddles

niam | 82k so far | explicit — 8/?

Though Niall’s life as a single father of a 6-year-old is stressful and completely exhausting, he still wouldn’t trade it in for the world. Between trying to juggle new jobs, a social life and spending enough time with his daughter, a love life is the very last thing on his mind. And yet somehow all of it seems to connect.

(Or where Niall’s daughter is a huge fan of Liam Payne, an international popstar, and Niall just wants her to be happy.)

✏️ An Illusion in Time by @sadaveniren

larry | 106k so far | explicit — 11/18

Louis wakes up in a bedroom that isn’t his own, next to a person he doesn’t know. It doesn’t take him long to find out he isn’t in the right year either; he’s five years in the future.

✏️ Than A Man Swear He Loves Me by @magicalrocketships

tomlinshaw | 129k so far | explicit — 8/?

The first time Louis had kissed Nick Grimshaw, Louis had been dressed as God, he’d never wanted anything so much in his life, and he’d never hated himself more for giving into it.

That part at least hadn’t changed.

Or: Nick and Louis like each other, but sometimes that’s not enough.

✏️ You Were Made To Be Mine by @chloehl10

larry | 532k so far | explicit — 81/?

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry’s for as long as he can remember, so it’s a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn’t all that Harry has his eye on…

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he’s invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester…

Remember to leave kudos + comments to show your appreciation!

More lists here.

#28th appreciation #wips #fic rec #my recs #my lists

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naruhearts · 6 years

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13x20: “I don’t care what happens to me”-- Dean Worthless Winchester, John Winchester’s Death and Destiel

Oh my god!

I gotta say, 13x20 was an ANGSTY FEELSY amalgamation of meta and foreshadowing for the Big Finale Triad of 21, 22, and 23. It laid down S5 tones, key themes, and narrative direction, hoo boy!!!

I’m sorry I posted late! Time-of-month sickness was an interruption, yikes.

I’d like to start with the Dean & Sam final scene, then talk about the major culminating implications this Father-centric episode specifically holds for our beloved protagonist Dean Winchester the shackled child — the Man behind the Mask (which S13 has been a gigantic narrative mirror of) — and the Destiel narrative/Cas in relation to Dean’s arc and character disposition *rubs hands together*

Glynn & Co made Dean’s axel-swinging between communication and miscommunication pretty clear to me in the last scene of 13x20, especially regarding the dialogue that people thought was character regression into Brodependency.

After sleeping on it, I didn’t see the same scale of toxic codependency from seasons ago a la ‘there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.’ It wasn’t mutual. I saw it as: 1. more from Sam’s end, and 2. Dean’s willingness to protect his loved ones (Sam and CAS, in bold) combined with letting go and the textual acknowledgement of his low self-worth carrying over from 13x05 (the low self-worth he internalized across 99.6798% of his life course).

Firstly, Dabb’s subverting S5.

He put independent Dean in S5 independent Sam’s shoes here, and it’s surely not a coincidence that Dean himself referenced their implosive S5 Michael-Lucifer mess: “Where we were last time we had front row seats”. S5 exhibited Dean’s Holding On vs Sam’s Letting Go, with lost Dean crawling to Lisa’s door and yeah, we know how that prickly-edged story went. It’s finally Dean Letting Go vs Sam Holding On. It’s indicative of S13 faithless Grieving!Sam re: Mary/Jack seeking his own emancipation and finding real introspective purpose away from the codependent strings he’s clinging to. We heard Sam’s “If we die, we die together”. Don’t fret, his current arc is constructed to get rid of this kind of thinking and move towards Faith!

Dean’s prepared to cut the codependent strings — already has via 12x22, and then in 13x05 (albeit in a suicidal grief-ridden manner. Speaking of, 13x20 this time shifted focus to Sam’s risk-taking re: Lucifer and the Apocalypse in itself. Unsurprisingly, we already witnessed this narrative train running in reverse -- early S13 Grieving!Dean and Functioning Sam swapped roles post-13x06 and in 13x11. Man, I am pumpin’ my fists).

Atop the bro dualism, Dean’s behaviour in 13x20 concerned me the most, saddened me the most, and intrigued me the most.

:’(

I may have yelled said that Dean has emotionally matured, eliminated toxic coping mechanisms, achieved an internal balance between his femininity and non-performative masculinity (acknowledged in 13x04; actively manifested in 13x16 onwards x, x), and gained a sense of non-combative communication and understanding (seen in 13x14), yet his low self-worth constitutes the biggest roadblock to his FULL personal growth.

Okay, I know you’ll exclaim: after Cas returned, Dean wasn’t depressed anymore!

Well, that’s accurate and relatively inaccurate. Dean’s low self-worth is the central facet of his characteristic development, and it does have a guaranteed correlation with depression. Yes, you can feel worthless without being clinically depressed, but worthlessness is maladaptive and contributes to feeling depressed --> Dean’s depression.

Dean’s case is a heartbreaking one. He’s been depressed for YEARS. He never really cared about what happened to him for YEARS = our Dean meta textualized in gloomy letters!!

Yes, the single individual -- the canon WIN -- that placed him back on the rails was Cas, his Everything, resurrecting from the dead. Cas’ return drastically mitigated Dean’s severe nihilistic depression (aka his rock bottom nihilistic grief when he lost Cas) BUT it didn’t necessarily fix his pre-existing depression.

S13 depicts Dean -- despite Cas’ bright presence -- as traveling the rails empty. There’s not enough coal to fuel his engine because he LACKS the mental faculties to appropriately cope re: trauma and give up his control. This is why he seems to oscillate between character progression and regression, and he still isn’t 100% HONEST and OPEN about his feelings. He’s keepin’ it in. There’s no healthy psychological unload taking place.

Case in point? Dean’s regressed to drinking the hard booze again; Cas FILLS the negative spaces (as he’s been doing throughout S13). Dean is not disclosing the whole truth -- not saying what he’s genuinely feeling (to CAS. I discuss it x, x, x).

Plus, Dean’s internal worries re: Death, the next apocalyptic war, Cas’ Heavenly plans, and his respective destiny/fate (Death’s “See you soon”) just exacerbate the personal instability he’s experiencing.

And then we observe Dean’s parental duty rearing its head:

To me this is what reiterated the Brodependency being dismantled in late S12/S13 (12x22 and 13x12/15 in particular). Don’t get me wrong – Dean’s mostly let go. He was willing to leave Sam behind in 13x05 after losing the one person who textually means Everything to him.

Dean’s psyche is at a point right now where he AIN’T okay with Sam’s risk-taking. He questions his little brother’s half-baked plans and sympathizes with the close-to-here manic desperation (again, mirroring S5 and S13 Grieving!Dean), except Dean’s low self-worth puts him in the dark position: I’m doing it, all of it, for YOU (Sam and Cas) since I don’t value myself enough to do it for ME. He further says--

He obviously does, but us, the audience, know--in dramatic irony fashion--that this is NOT Dean’s entire truth.

He values his brother more than himself, and he values CAS more than himself. He cares about what happens to CAS. Nothing Else Matters. And we’re aware that Cas canonically occupies the highest pedestal in Dean’s life, which TPTB absolutely highlighted during Dean’s grieving arc, Cas’ return, and 13x16 onwards.

(In this scene, Dean continues to tell Sam what he’s NOT telling Cas. USE THE RIGHT WORDS.)

Cas is the love of Dean’s life, his Everything, and his Win. I mentioned before that losing Cas a second time would destroy him.

(**Dating 101: Dean therefore cannot establish a truly healthy, mutually interdependent relationship with Cas if he has low self-worth. He’s trying, but his personal losses -- more LOSSES than wins this season i.e. AU!Charlie/Mary/Jack in AU, non-confronted traumas i.e. Cas’ death, and insecurities cripple his ability to give Cas ALL of himself, out in the open!)

Although Dean HAS FAITH (Cas), the decisions he’ll formulate to protect/save Sam, Mary, Jack, and especially Cas aren’t exactly derived from mental stability. Keeping them safe is too paramount to Dean that the choices he’ll encounter could be questionable/dangerous, putting him in the line of (sacrificial) fire.

Sound familiar? It’s deliberately supposed to sound familiar!

Jack, TFW’s Unity/Balance symbol and characteristic mirror, even stated that ‘if he can’t keep others safe, what’s the use’?

Dean will make the penultimate save-the-world (read: save my family) decision ALONE regardless of Sam’s regressive wish to die together. And I wrote that his arc is now DIRECTLY paralleling S11 Casifer & Depressed!Cas’ S11/12 arc, especially (mis)communicative 12x19 --> 12x23 ‘I Have Faith’ Cas. There’s prevalent narrative symmetry in Dean’s arc (intrinsically linked to Cas’ arc).

“You, me, and Sam...we’re just better together” indeed, and this year’s season-ender should unite TFW like last season--unite Dean and Cas--in order to change their fates/defeat Death, but Dean’s decision will be an isolated one --> one that was foreshadowed as he faced expositional Daddy Issues™ Loki by himself. And Dean may not tell Cas, just like Cas hadn’t told Dean in 12x23 about his sacrificial act.

These vastly important storytelling threads ultimately conjoin with “I don’t care what happens to me. I never really have” as the PINNACLE of Dean’s 13-year long characterization; the progressive climax sparking his death/decay so that he can be reborn and revitalized aka THIS IS IT!! Dean’s impending death and self-sacrifice for his loved ones (CAS) = the ultimate catharsis in that S13′s narrative has finally approached the IRL scenario of 13x16 ghost kid (DEAN)’s release from father figure Bad Man -- from the negative influence of all the other literal (Loki, Odin, Lucifer, James Turner) and metaphorical (Asmodeus, Buddy, Michael) fatherly mirrors permeating this season. He’ll LET GO of everything that incarcerated him since he was 4 years old: his Blunt Tool role, control, manipulation, parental abuse and absenteeism, parental duty, the heteronormative patriarchy, and the long-standing trauma slapped on him by Alastair, Amara, and Cain.

He’ll burn the remaining pocket knife of all pocket knives tethering him to his past -- John Winchester x, x He’ll self-transform.

And Dean’s S13 death would fulfill the sacrificial Act of True Love (with Cas holding heavy weight in Dean’s decision for LOVE)--

--and S14 Winning Him Back in the subverted flavour of S10. Romance tropes abound!!

@thetwistedwillow and @sactownbrowns3 both ignited my stomach-churning feels. This is an extremely pivotal visual. The Michael-reminiscent sword and radiant halo-like lights atop Dean’s head? Yeah, set off HUGE Michael!Dean radars. Complete moral dualism with S10 Demon!Dean--selflessness vs selfishness. Free choice (saying yes to possession) vs stolen choice (demon transformation against his will).

Secondly, as aforementioned, Dean’s harbouring a LOT of traumas he hasn’t mentally confronted, with Daddy Issues™ re: John Winchester (reflected via Dean’s solo faceoff with Loki) as his overarching undealt source of trauma.

Loki tells Dean: “The truth is, [Odin] despised me, but he was my father. I’m sure you understand. What would you do for your father?”

And Dean stabs Loki’s hologram. He stabs the metaphorical father figure who neglected his sons. He stabs another narrative embodiment of John’s ghost, foreshadowing that Dean’s death = John Winchester’s final death. It’s time to deconstruct and conquer his influence.

(Gabriel was an extended mirror of both Dean and Sam, too. Gabe, the little brother whom deadbeat Daddy Chuck never paid attention to. ‘Ah, big bros, right? Always think they know best’ Gabe, who stabbed and killed deadbeat Loki. Gabe, who subsequently ran away from home, was used and tortured beneath Asmodeus’ control, embarked on a revenge trip, and didn’t feel good about it. Dean and Sam themselves knew what it felt like to be manipulated. While it’s true that their traumatic experiences are subjective, they share common Deadbeat Father-adjacent life courses.)

What beautiful and consistent silent storytelling!!

And oh look, narratively associated to this ^^ is the reappearance of Dean’s John-linked BAG OF EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE--

I can’t can’t can’t wait for him to let go of it PERMANENTLY!

And of course, Cas’ death remains his immediate significant source of undealt trauma (same links above: x, x, x)

*looks at Dean’s serious, intense, and emotionally laden expression* *clutches chest tight* *blinks away tears*

I additionally wrote something about Endverse!Cas and D/C (mis)communication a few months ago which I feel is relevant again:

And we know HUMAN Endverse!Cas was representative of that, a sad, depressed, and hollow depiction of the wrong choices for the right reasons who festers (AND DIES), in part because of Dean’s wrong choices, and also because of his own consciously uninformed, narrow-minded choices that led to this literal apocalypse of mind, body and soul.

5x04 laid down what Cas (and Dean) shouldn’t become. If both Cas and Dean (TFW) continue to fail in learning their lessons regarding healthy interdependence (where control must become equality; ignorance must become understanding; intransigence must become compromise; stonewalling must become transparency; lying must become honesty; silence must become communication), Endverse will be their life.

Thankfully, they’re learning as of S13 onwards and I’m ECSTATIC. Slow but sure progress (13x15′s conveying the shift), yet they still have to use the RIGHT WORDS.

Endverse!Dean, who never gave up his control to Cas nor listened to him, was himself consumed by the NEED over the WANT and an authoritarian means to an end. He lost everyone. And Endverse posed an ultimatum for Dean (and Cas’ own characteristic progress): keep your control forever, and you’ll have one destination–no growth, no life, no freedom.

Full circle!

Dean Winchester must die so he can live.

And what are Dean’s WINS (plural) by dying? Saving people instead of losing people--saving Mary, Jack, Sam, and Cas. Saving the world. Reuniting his family unit. Interacting instead of performing. OUTING INSTEAD OF HIDING. HIGH DEPRESSIONLESS SELF-WORTH INSTEAD OF LOW DEPRESSIVE SELF-WORTH.

Better yet, Dean will undergo character development in relation to his loved ones (and Cas). With high self-worth, Dean’s capable of learning how to value HIMSELF independently. In turn, without personal obstacles he’ll learn how to sustain HEALTHY interdependent relationships and COMMUNICATION as well as learn how to WHOLLY GIVE HIMSELF to others (Cas).

Tell Cas he’s not expendable, Dean. Disclose the real reason YOU “needed him back”. Expose your feelings, choose Want over Need, and push away your rejection fears! Cas loves you dearly—let him know that his love for you is reciprocated. Nothing but good things ahead!!

Gosh, this post is way longer than I expected—thank youu for sticking to it! Circumstances shall get worse before they get better, and it’s totally necessary to ensure our characters meet the final demise of their prisons.

BTW, I still can’t believe we got a borderline blatant onscreen bi!Dean (and Cas insert) treat!! What’s by is by! Overall I’m incessantly praising Dabb’s spectacular work so far + Glynn and Rich Speight Jr’s craft in this ep!!

Very little sub is left in the text, my friends. TPTB are rendering years’ worth of meta increasingly explicit in S13. I can only HOPE and expect that 13x23/S14 brings us past the Point of Know Return subtextual boundaries and into full-blown textual narrative! Authorial intent EXISTS.

**I know, I know--S14 wasn’t confirmed as the last season and S15 is fair game. The plot accordion, as per usual, re-emerges with the slight overhaul/pullback of characteristic arcs and narrative plot due to season renewals, but I’m Endgame Positive that slow progress is SURE progress. Imho Dean and Cas are so close in saying everything from saying nothing. THE UNSAID WILL BE SAID.

Bracing myself for the last 3 episodes—they’ll burn us in awesome ways!!

209 notes · View notes

jvnckles · 6 years

Text

hello!!♡♡it’s me- jenny, your professional taehyung, bangtan, puppies & bubble tea lover!!ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ I want to start off by saying thank you- thank you for always supporting me and for being so kind to me/being such caring friends whom I cherish a whole lot.

And with that being said.. thank so much for helping me reach 1k followers!! asdfghjkl; i still can’t fathom how this happened.. this blog started out as a fandom blog for supernatural and then i abandoned it before deciding to revive it again a couple months ago and i think that’s one of the best decisions i’ve made in 2017. bc if i didn’t.. i wouldn’t have been able to meet all of you♡

i love you all so much but i’m sure you already know that but again, thank you for staying by my side and sticking to me through it all. i will continue to do my best to post quality content and be active. i purple you!!💜💜

Key

bolded - precious & beautiful soul i love you v much

italicised - lovely mutuals

💜 -you hold a special place in my heart

🌹 - i appreciate your existence

🎀-your work is inspiring & i love what you create!

✨-i hope we can get to know each other better!

☾-you make me smile!

✏️ - scroll to the end for a special message!

(if you didn’t get an emoji it doesn’t mean I love/appreciate you less! It just means we’ve probably never interacted/rarely interact ;; ) & i’m also gonna still tag new mutuals!♡

#-d

@4agstd🌹☾ / @97-ed /@aesthetcjeon✨☾ / @agust-rush💜🌹☾ / @jungkookio💜🌹☾ / @apgujeon 🎀 / @b-taeh-s✨ / @baekeyes✨/ @bamlisa / @bangtanata💜🌹☾✏️ / @bangtanssea💜🌹✨☾ / @bbyboyjiminies / @bwisou 🎀 / @catladyjaebum✨☾ / @chanbaekaritz🌹☾ / @chimchurro🌹✨☾ / @chogiyeol-utopia / @clairelions💜🌹🎀☾✏️ / @comeherejimin 🎀 / @cryjeon💜🌹✨ / @cyphergguk💜🌹☾ / @cyphersjay🌹☾ / @cyphertaehyungie💜🌹🎀☾ / @daegucrew 🎀 / @deboracorrea25 / @deletaed🌹/ @dreamytaehyungx💜🌹☾✏️

e-i

@eatijn💜🌹✨ / @endearkim🌹☾ / @flowerjimin🌹/ @green-tae-latte🌹✨ / @gukbae💜🌹☾✏️ / @gwenchanamjoon / @hardcorehobi🌹✨☾ / @hihello-youngk / @hobijoon✨/ @hobislobster✨ / @hobisuki / @hoeseok / @honeyyjeon🌹 / @hopeworldbitch / @icetaelemonade💜🌹☾✏️ / @infivel💜🌹🎀☾✏️

j-l

@j1nsgf✨ / @je0n 🎀✨/ @jeonbus💜🌹☾ / @jeonisbored / @jeonsberry💜🌹☾✏️ / @jiinkookie💜🌹☾✏️ / @jimeenee / @jiminblackhair / @jiminiedimple / @jiminparke🌹✨☾ / @jiminparkl💜🌹☾✏️ / @jinandtxnic🌹✨☾ / @jjks 🎀 / @jjnkook / @jkks💜🌹🎀☾✏️ / @jungshiii💜🌹☾✏️ / @jvngkcckie / @kc-junghsk💜🌹☾ / @kkultae💜🌹☾��️ / @kookiez💜🌹☾✏️ / @ktheaven💜🌹☾✏️ / @kthsv💜🌹☾✏️ / @lavendervantae / @liquidkook / @listentohopeworld💜🌹✨☾ / @longlivekookie✨ / @lovesmilk✨☾

m-p

@majinstic💜🌹☾✏️ / @megjin🌹✨☾ / @minkyungii💜🌹☾✏️ / @minsbutt🌹✨☾ / @misohobi🌹✨☾ / @mnkook / @mxxnlightjimin💜🌹☾ / @my-aerible💜🌹☾ / @namj94n💜🌹☾✏️ / @nochuie 🎀 / @omfgbts🌹☾ / @parkbagelboy / @parkjiminbiased / @pocketofjeonbunny💜🌹☾✏️ / @pocketofyoonmin💜🌹☾✏️ / @prince-seokpink💜🌹☾✏️

q-t

@rea1love💜🌹☾✏️ / @religion-agustd🌹✨☾ / @s-s-sugaplum🌹☾ / @samwol 🎀 / @sarangtaee🌹✨☾ / @seokjinstaehyungs / @seouljjk / @shook-kookie🌹☾ / @slayykook💜🌹☾✏️ / @sonatines🌹✨ / @soonyoung-my-love / @sugahyung / @sugahyungg🌹✨ / @sugaidc💜🌹☾✏️ / @sugashopedat / @sullii / @sweaterpawsjimin 🎀 / @taeboos / @taehyhungie / @taehyungtrsh💜🌹☾ / @taekookiesandcream/ @taesflower💜🌹🎀✨☾ / @taeshik💜🌹🎀☾✏️ / @taetle💜🌹✨☾ / @taetaetrashhh💜🌹🎀☾✏️ / @taetaez💜🌹☾✏️ / @taev-gucci🌹✨☾ / @taezever🌹☾ / @teacupjm

u-z

@ur-a-wizard-bts / @vanillalattaes💜🌹☾✏️ / @viatae💜🌹☾✏️ / @volandoentrelibros 🌹✨/ @wenhz💜🌹☾✏️ / @wowjeon✨ / @xseokjiin🌹 / @yoongitrsh / @yoonkia🌹☾ / @yourstrulytaebwi💜🌹☾

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆♡

messages!

♡ @bangtanata - halo bubs hahahah ur sucha fun person to talk kek klo ngobrol ng pernah bosen gitu i suka bgt x)) apalagi bisa ngomong bahasa wakakak but bubs!! ur so talented i love ur drawings and your writing is so creative♡♡ keep doing what u do and semoga sukses yahh!!

♡ @clairelions - queen of gfx/edits/gifs hello♡♡♡ your creations always inspire me sm and i still look up to you :’> i still remember the day i freaked out when you followed back i stopped breathing for a bit lmao ;; but ur sucha sweet and genuine person!! ilysm chiara!

♡ @dreamytaehyungx - nareeee!! one of the most beautiful and cutest ppl i’ve seen on this site♡♡ every time you post a selfie i’m blown away and you’re so SWEET i just want to protecc you (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ ty for always tagging me in posts i love it sm it makes my day. i hope ur doing well ilysm!

♡ @gukbae - MY pRECIOUS BUN BUN♡♡one of my closest friends but i miss you so much ;; i hope you’re doing well and that life continues to improve as it goes on bb. you deserve the universe and so much more tbh you deserve everything good life has to offer. ilysm luna♡♡

♡ @icetaelemonade - hello kaneee♡♡ :> you are a cutie!! and thank you for tagging me in posts of tae asdfghjkl; i always get excited when i get tagged hahah i hope life is treating you well bc u deserve it!! and i hope you achieve great things in 2018!

♡ @infivel - SAYANGGG!! my #1 support system, the most talented writer out there, a lit dancer, i love you i love you i love you soooo muchh bubs♡♡ur always there for me when i have issues and such a dear and caring friend so close to my heart ilysm don’t forget tht!! excited to see u tmr in school again and geo case study buddies heheheh but overall ur wonderful queen of soft ranting aduh bikin gw emosi sumpah tpi gpp deh once in a while gua boleh nangis tntng tae ;; wkwkwk

♡ @jeonsberry - ASYYAAA♡♡ one of the sweetest people i’ve met on this site and also one of my first friends :’>> thank you for being such a caring friend and always tagging me in cute appreciation posts or anything rlly! i’m glad that we met bc you’ve been such a blessing♡ i hope life is treating you well and i hope it continues to present you with love and happiness ilysm~

♡ @jiinkookie - hi kattt!!♡ ik we haven’t spoken in a while but ur one of the first mutuals i’ve made on this site :’>> you’re so supportive and always hyping up my selfies ahikjglnalg tysm for showering me with love and kind words♡ you are very sweet and ily!!

♡ @jiminparkl - MY SNAPCHAT BUDDYYY!!! precious soul you are the cutest i s2g your messages make my day so much especially in the morning :’<< i always read your snaps when i’m otw to school and they make my morning easier♡♡ i love you so much jules i hope life isn’t too hard rn and i hope u have strength throughout all ur exams!! you got this bb!! ty for being such a caring friend and for being such a good listener and for being so patient/understanding :’>>♡♡♡

♡ @jkks - ryuuuuu~♡♡ one of my first mutuals/friends here!! you make lovely edits i love seeing them and if they ever pop up on my feed again i will hype them!! i hope life is treating you well and i hope u meet kookie one day ;>> ily!

♡ @jungshiii - MARTIIIIII♡♡♡ ighakjlndgjlakn so freaking talented with gfx and gifs i cri erytim they pop up on my feed. always posting good quality content- i will make sure to shower all of your upcoming ones with love ;>> you are so sweet and caring i can see that you truly love your mutuals. thank you for tagging me in cute posts & i hope life is treating you well bb ilysm!!♡♡

♡ @kkultae - lynnnnn!! the talented artist♡♡ and one of the cutest ppl i’ve ever seen ^-^ i love your blog sm tbh you deserve more and more love and i hope u do receive it soon!! you’re so easy to talk to and ur so kind :’>> i hope 2018 is filled with success and happiness♡♡ ily~

♡ @kookiez - sidddarrrrrr ;;;;♡♡ my first friend i’ve ever made on this site. i still remember the first time we spoke i was so nervous and shy i was honestly shaking uakjlnkga but you’re so sweet and soft and so freaking pretty!!! i cri- post more selfies and bless us *^* ♡♡ heheh but ty for being so kind from day one til now and i miss u bb!! i hope ur doing well ilysm as always♡♡

♡ @ktheaven - MY PURPLE SOULMATE HELLO!!💜💜(purple hearts just for u hehe) ty for being such a good friend and talking to me almost every single day and sending me so many cute posts on instagram?! i love looking through all of them and it makes me day :> we haven’t spoken much recently bc of rl situations but i hope life is giving you all the love you deserve and just positive vibes in general. your messages make my day, love♡♡ i love you so muchhhh nad xx ;;

♡ @kthsv - daNII my precious bubs♡♡ u are such a supportive and understanding friend ilysm :> your gifs are A+ quality and you are so talented!! i forgot how we first started talking but i’m glad we did bc we have become close since we first started speaking. you are one of my dearest friends and i hope life is getting better as time passes by bb♡ ilysm!!

♡ @namj94n - nissaaa ;> hahahah we live nearby each other even tho our we’re like countries apart iajlndglka i hope to see you soon bubs i’m so freaking excited i cannot wait!!! i’ll see you in around 2 weeks i think hehe♡♡ you are such an understanding person and so FUN to talk to!! i genuinely laugh whenever we chat it’s so funny whenever you tell me to put on body armour bc i always get injured but ik u say it bc u care :’>> ilysm u are precious!!

♡ @pocketofjeonbunny - HIIII BB♡♡ long time no talk but you are one of the sweetest ppl i’ve met ;;; your gifs are lovely too your colouring is always on point and you are GORGEOUSSSS!! your ig feed is a blessing whenever you post a selfie- you are stunning, the literal sun♡♡ the sun is sh000k. igajldkgna i hope to meet you soon when i go to oz :>> ilyy~~!!

♡ @pocketofyoonmin - ZAINAB MY PRECIOUS AND ETHEREAL ANGEL♡♡ you are so beautiful inside and out i’m so lucky to have a friend like you! so supportive too always commenting on my ig posts and making me smile ;;; the cutest. you slay me every time you post on ig and especially in selca tags!!♡ so freaking cute to see you next to your bias like i ship it hard- to the ocean okay. ikajlkngal but i love u so much i hope to meet u this summer bb!!!

♡ @prince-seokpink - kAEEEEE♡♡ one of the many talented writers ik and love. you are such a sweet person i love talking to you even though our timezones are whack and so wide hikjglnadlgkdan and yet we still find time to talk to each other :>> i hope to meet u one day so i can hug u ahhhh ty for being sucha good friend to me ilysm xx

♡ @rea1love - SUHHHAAAA♡♡ or is it suho? hmmmm >u< haha just kidding bb! you are gorgeous and you are also very fun to talk to~ we like similar groups and i think it’s cool we bias the same man in nct- we are confirmed to be soulmates lmfao asdfghjkl; but u are a cutiepie and u deserve the world ily♡♡

♡ @slayykook - HELLO BUBS♡♡ ty for being such a good friend and talking to me literally everyday even though we often reply each other late bc of timezones :’>> it’s nice talking to you and i wish nothing but the best for u♡♡ i hope life is blessing you endlessly and i hope happiness is all you’re having rn hahaha ily~~!

♡ @sugaidc - you are my sunshineee my only sunshinee you make me happy when skies are gray ;;; i miss u so much lils. ik we talk outside of tumblr but i still miss seeing your name pop up in my notifs here :’> i’m so glad we started talking you are one of my closest bestfriends i love you so much my goal is to meet you one day!!♡♡ lt’s make it happen but for now let’s make a facetime call happen amidst our busy schedule ;w; ik life hasn’t been the best but you are strong and you will get through this! and u are also very pretty and a whole cutiepie which is always a plus♡ ilyilyilyilyily always!! xx

♡ @taetaetrashhh - ahgjlnalk momommomo♡♡♡♡ SUCHA SUPPORTIVE FRIEND AND A WHOLE BEAUTY ;; your makeup is goals can u pls teach me?? ;;; and ur also a talented writer like AGH you are a whole package i am cri 5ever ;; hahaha but you are such a sweet friend and the ask you sent in yesterday/couple days ago made me tear up srsly ur the best :< ilysm i hope life is treating u v well my love♡♡

♡ @taeshik - momo... i just realised today that you aren’t on tumblr anymore… but while you were here you were one of the nicest ppl i’ve spoken to and you very sweet & kind to me ㅠㅠ i’m sorry to hear things in real life haven’t been the best but i hope everything sorts out soon and you are filled with happiness to the brim♡♡ i love you bb! sucha beautiful person inside and out, keep being you :>

♡ @taetaez - giiiOOOO where do i even begin?! one of my dear friends and one of the sweetest people i’ve ever met ;n; we don’t talk often but when we do i always feel bubbly and cheerful in an instant- you radiate positive energy and that’s what i love abt u♡♡ thank you for always tagging me in so many posts they srsly make my day and i often times only open tumblr to check if you’ve tagged me in anything :’>> i love them! pls continue to do so♡ i will try my best to tag u too~ i love you sososos much i hope life is treating u well bb

♡ @vanillalattaes - hiiii fahreen♡♡ ^-^ we haven’t spoken in a while but you’re one of the very first friends i’ve made on this site~!! i’m still a huge fan of your selfie gifset i will never forget that masterpiece iajlngldakn♡ you are so beautiful! i hope life is treating u well bubs and ily :> xx

♡ @viatae - viaaaaa!! my fellow tae enthusiast and stan♡♡ your instagram posts are A+++ quality i love them you slay in every single one and ur smile is the cutest omg ;^; i hope life is treating you well and i hope all is good. sending u all my love and good vibes~~!!

♡ @wenhz - anannannanannanaaaaaa ;;;♡♡♡ hi bb!! i miss u and i miss our long chats that are all in caps lock and i remember that long paragraph you sent me to help cheer me up when i got hate :’>>> ik you’re not on here often anymore but i hope everything offline is going smoothly and pls remember to take care of yourself and your health♡ i love you soooo muchhh i could never forget you and you are one of my dearest friends.

#ff #ya'll are the best i s2g i don't deserve any of you ;n; 💜#this took so long!! AGH #but it was worth it ;;;#i love you all- gonnna keep saying this over and over again tbh ahahah -- jenny xx #this is so long omg i hope it doens't mess up your notifs!!#and i also hope everyone receives the notif ;;;#the gif is something i posted a while ago but it flopped so :')))#i might repost the set but idk ualndglakn #it's almost 1AM I HOPE I DIDN'T MAKE ANY MISTAKES IUJLGNALKGNDA ILY

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