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#I think a lot of too might be like the mindsight of this country and like grind culture but it’s just not for me
miraeism · 3 years
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#BRO don’t read unless you wanna hear my sad girl shit#shawna speaks and no one listens#but the way I’m so saaaaaddd#my classes started up again and that’s like the sole reason for these feelings#I just feel so dissatisfied with my life and it’s trajectory#like how is this how ppl wanna live#I think a lot of too might be like the mindsight of this country and like grind culture but it’s just not for me#this isn’t for me#I want something else out of my life#I’ve been journaling a LOT but I still never feel like I’ve purged myself of all these thoughts running around in my head#I feel like I’m just running in circles#starting to feel a little insane#I really want to talk to my sister about this but it’s hard to meet up#and I don’t wanna talk to her over the phone#but also unless I start crying talking to her never feels as good as I would like it too#honestly talking to anyone about my worries with life is never as relieving as I would like it to be#i just always feel like I get cut off or like I’m not making any sense#I think that’s why I enjoy journaling so much#I have to slow down my thoughts to write so it ends up making a lot more sense than when I speak#And whenever I speak to myself like thru the mirror or whatever I just end up crying#I just feel like I’ve learned a lot this year but at the same time I feel like I know nothing#I just want enough time to grow and learn and become myself and just be before I make any choices#I just wish I was able to spend my time the way I wanted to spend it yknow#like the other day I was making my brother breakfast and I decided to just make the entire fam food#and as I was scrambling the eggs I just felt so much peace like the feeling was truly indescribable#I was just standing there with my spatula thinking this is what life should be about performing small acts of kindness#and I just want my life to be more like that more often I want to feel the peace I felt in front of the stove that morning more#this sounds so dramatic but like there was this stillness in my soulll bro I felt like I could breathe
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