#I think I hang onto him bc I'm scared of that position being empty

[kittlyns]

❤

#trying not to get mad on the day of love but #been tryna not think abt my best friend ignoring me for going on three weeks #but now he's posting on insta about his dumbass cheating girlfriend and it's making me mad #idk man you tell everyone around you how much she killed your confidence and how you're s*icidal over her #not once but twice lmao #and then yet again she's like 'oops! i didnt mean to hurt you uwu im just a lil cwazyyy heehee maybe we should try again 🥺💕' #and ya jump right back in #and then get mad at me for not being happy that you're giving her a third chance #I wanna be there for him and watch him get the life he deserves #but we do this fucking song and dance every few months now #im not gonna absolve myself of responsibility. I can be harsh and blunt and I lose patience pretty easily #but how do you watch a friend you love stay in an unhealthy relationship? or how do you help them see that without hurting feelings? #the whole situation sucks and when he ignores me like this it makes me feel like he doesnt give a shit abt me unless he needs a therapist #I wanna be done with it all #and I'm done reaching out to radio silence #lmao but even that is apart of the cycle #I tell myself I'm done with his messy dramatic life and then he reaches out again cuz something else has gone wrong #at this point idek if I keep responding bc I care about him or if I'm just nostalgic for what we used to be #like I call him my best friend but. is he really that anymore? #I think I hang onto him bc I'm scared of that position being empty #then I just go back to being the girl with no friends #which I guess is fine. just lonely. but I'm lonely anyways so #maybe this time he won't reach out again #and maybe I'll let his memory die #it really is time I grow up and let people from my childhood go #that's all any of them really are at this point. nostalgic characters that act as the one thing keeping my childhood with me #anyways. #personal