#I think I feel a lot better now though

[plasticsandwich]

under my skin

#felt frustrated with my lineart recently so i did this to experiment #think theres a lot i could do better though #but i feel a bit better now #diary #milk

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

#eliot #eliot spencer #orig #further discussion in further tags #I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments #but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way #I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original. #but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far #the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know? #the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time #doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically. #the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating #doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her #though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then #and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings #perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here. #which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age #arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were. #there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now

[sadisthetic]

BURST💥

#get fucked eardrums #first caption i thought of was 'music's too loud' but like it didnt have the punch. #anyways i keep on doing terrible things to this man youre welcome btw #hi fi rush #chai hi fi rush #hi fi rush chai #my art #this is a side comment but i bet chai could still fight to the music even when deaf (temporary or otherwise) #bc im sure he can like Feel the music through his body even when his ears are out of commission #like not only is that the case for a lot of Deaf people in reality but also #as a headcanon i think his player in his chest would let him feel the beat even better so #so i think if this were a permanent thing hed be super bummed and uncomfortable with the silence at the beginning #feeling weirded out by how he has to navigate the world now #but i think he'll adjust and come to terms with it with only mild difficulty #music is still a part of him (literally) #its just different now #(though language is another matter entirely)

[bonefall]

Do you have a design for Bright Storm? I'm fond of the wise older figure thing you're doing with her

I do NOW

Made her, as well as a revamp of my old Thunder Storm design (I last drew him like a year ago!!) in preparation for some character summaries I plan to bang out after finishing a couple drafts, but Bright in particular gets requested so much (anon you're like the 4th person) that HERE, lady girl and her son be upon ye

I'm thinking about doing the BB!DOTC character summaries in "family" posts, so they're all grouped together the way I plan them to act in the story. Every family is telling a little mini-story of its own, in a way, from the Frost family and their inventing prowess, to the Heart family and how the kits react to Bumble's exile, to the Storm family and how they grapple with Clear Sky's influence.

I wanted to make sure Bright Storm was very large and powerful looking, but in a round, kind of "humble" way. She downplays her strength, her intelligence, and even her better judgement.

So she has these big cheeks, fluffy primordial pouch, poofy tail, keeps her head low-ish. Tends to deny compliments.

I was commiserating with my partner the other day about how intelligent characters aren't allowed to be thick-bodied. So between my fat, beloved Bumble the translator and Bright Storm the wise woman battle strategist I'm feeding us both

I needed to "finalize" their stripe pattern, because I actually plan for TIGERSTAR to have the same one. I'm probably going to update my Tawnypelt and Bramblestar designs to have it too; if they don't look better with Goldenflower's.

I just like the irony and bitterness of it. That these ancient stripes, once so associated with compassion and righteous fury, turn into a "legacy" so divorced from what Thunder Storm and Bright Storm stood for.

Becoming a symbol for the idea of modern ThunderClan and the culture of the new times, not the principles it was founded on.

Also I HAD to do the design thing where Thunder Storm's stripes look like top surgery scars lmao, my beloved transmasc boy

Anyway, I've decided that Thunder Storm was a REALLY dark orange. It bugs me a little, especially in-canon, that he looks nothing like either parent. So in BB he's not too far off color-wise from his mama.

I also removed the old "mane" and replaced it with combination white chest + his father's shoulder burls. The mane is going to become a Forest Cat trait, which is why it's going to get so prominent in ThunderClan.

Instead, Mountain Cats have a REALLY high concentration of ear tufts in their genes. They're also huge and generally hairy.

Funny enough though they're also "oily." They come from the Lake Cat population which was pretty water-resistant because of constantly dealing with the lake, and they haven't lived in the Mountains long enough for natural selection to get rid of it.

It's going to become SUPER advantageous for those who move to the River Kingdom, but become less prominent in the other populations.

But for now, Mountain Cats are kinda... well, naturally 'stinky.' That's not a BAD thing to cats who are animals who LIKE strong smells, but it is a notable trait that I'd like The Wind Runner in particular to comment on.

Thunder Storm: "Well? What did she say?"

Bumble: "Ummmmmm......"

Thunder Storm: "be honest"

Bumble: "she says she smelled you coming when you were upwind. rudely."

99% of the time when I'm changing character eye colors, it's to make them NOT blue because there's too many blue-eyed characters in WC imo. BUT.

I think it was another tiny waste to have the narrative constantly stressing Clear Sky's blue, blue eyes, almost like they're hypnotizing, and then they never really comment on what Thunder's eye color signals to other people.

So I've got an idea; instead of amber, Thunder Storm has ELECTRIC BLUE eyes. Almost green, like his mother's minty ones.

Intense as his father's, but more focused. Sharp. Shocking.

Side note: in my research I actually learned it's easier for tripod cats to RUN than it is for them to walk. They can "canter" like a horse, but when they go slow they have to hop. Taking this into consideration.

I put a splash of white on the little bit of lower limb that Thunder Storm has on the leg, so it sticks out a bit more. I don't want it to be hidden I want it to be prominent

I also figured out a hilarious trick for Bright Storm to pull on Sky's Clan at some point lmao

Thunder's crew is in conflict with Sky's cats and the attacks are getting more and more frequent. They decide they need some extra time to carry out some kind of hunt or diplomatic mission, but Bright Storm only has a small group of cats to pull off a stunt with.

She knows she can't fight them head on, but she NEEDS to buy her son more time, so she hatches a plan.

Clear Sky values his intelligence and his ferocity very much. To a fault, even. He loves to outsmart his opponents and overpower them-- so Bright Storm gets all her cats to build a very large, very tall, nearly impenetrable wall out of briar thorns. There's only one way in; the well-guarded tunnel they've constructed in the front.

It would be a challenge for a lesser cat. But Clear Sky, clever devil he is, realizes they've made a fatal flaw; they've built their camp right next to the trees. His fighters don't need to jump over the wall or push through it, the oaks are their allies!

So, while Thunder's cats are all surely sleeping, he gathers his best men and come through the canopy. In well-trained patrols, they swoop down into the camp and prepare for battle.

and no one is there.

You see, there was only one way in... and only one way out.

And Clear Sky and his best fighters watch with HORROR as the tiny crew of guards seals that entrance up like the neck of a bag. There are no trees to climb INSIDE the wall, and it's too tall to hop out of. It won't hold them forever, but it will hold them JUST LONG ENOUGH.

Bright calls this little plan "Operation Timeout."

#I can't help it. Ever since I mentioned how cool a warlord gray wing would be now I can't stop thinking about Bright Storm doing-- #Art of War Looney Tunes tactics lmao #LET THE BATTLE CATS BATTLE #BB!DOTC #BB!Bright Storm #BB!Thunder Storm #BB!Thunderstar #Better Bones AU #It feels very fitting for Bright to have a lot of very ''annoying'' but nonlethal plans like that #Though she CAN and WILL hurt others to defend her family #She doesn't LIKE doing that. #One thing I do want her to keep from Gray is his aversion to violence #But unlike him she's able to come to terms with the fact she HAS to defend what she loves. #And though a lot of it does come from the love she had for Clear... it also comes from her compassion and kindness towards others. #She's been lead astray and blinded by her love of him in the past (especially in how she abetted what happened to Bumble) #But unlike Canon!Gray she's ashamed of what she did after she sits with the consequences #She doesn't want to hurt anyone. But she did. She let it happen. Contributed even #And that's rough. #YOUR HONOR. I LIKE HER.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon

#i have my reasons for this #i feel like i'm in the minority though... i know gon is honest and much more emotionally expressive #but he's not actually more tactile than killua #i... i actually do think that it's killua who initiates much of the contact between them (fistbumps and poking and hand on shoulder) #if i'm not mistaken anyways #and he's very tactile with alluka and nanika (carrying + hugs + handholding) #granted that's his sister(s) but still. killua is far from touch averse - his getting embarrassed is a cute trait to be sure #but i do think he'll get a bit better at accepting that kind of thing once he's had some time with alluka and nanika #a lot of that does come after all from his feelings of unworthiness - and now that his sisters need open affection after so long being alon #he's going to have to gain at least some comfort with giving and receiving love #gon and mito go for hugs either at the same time or mito initiates. gon hugs leorio in the scene right after he's revived #but idk idk i just feel like he won't be the first to initiate a hug with killua especially since i suspect he still feels quite guilty #i think it would show growth on both their parts. not to mention it'd be very sweet to have gon a bit blindsided + happily surprised #as he's the one typically honest and forthright with appreciation and compliments while killua is. not. lmao #i think he should receive a nice hug from his best friend. and then i think they would both know it's gonna be ok. :') #storyrambles #hunter x hunter #hxh #killua zoldyck #gon freecss #this is so sappy. what's wrong with me. this is what they do to me.

[icewindandboringhorror]

recent lounging babey images

#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy #a beauntifulle boye... #cats #STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going #on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit #so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T #Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the #main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things. #Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've #now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do #and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and #everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over #the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many #potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all #seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o #cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat #ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together! #and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams #together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and #am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper #focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not) #even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern #age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu #I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb #AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3 #I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[puppyeared]

i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet??? #its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^ #i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

[cheekblush]

i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected

#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn #at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life #things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no.. #.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well #and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with #their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol #she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing #i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner #but her messages were truly annoying me #her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to.. #talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning #our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao #she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me #and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭 #idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3 #i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful #i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on #and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡 #even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial #am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please #she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol #but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed.. #me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!! #but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼‍♀️ #like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao #okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me #☁️

[pleasantlyinsincere]

Do you know what John's hang ups about not being good about playing with kids was about? Like the Kyoko tape sounds adorable, and so do the the audios with Sean that are around, and even that moment in GB where he's joking with Heather about eating kittens. I don't at all get the sense of a man bad at hanging around with and entertaining children in the slightest.

I can't help but wonder if it was because he had some idea of how a dad "should" be that he felt he couldn't live up to because he didn't have one around. But then Paul also mentions in MYFN iirc that John couldn't play with kids, so I guess it wasn't just in his head, but I don't get it.

(Hi. Sorry, I had family over for a few days, so I am a bit late with replying.)

I actually don’t know. I think it might have just been one of the stories you start telling yourself and that sticks, or like you said he thought he should be able to do a certain kind of play that he found difficult to do. I do think he we can see that he was able to be fun with kids and doing a lot of goods things like we see with the tapes, playing guitar with them, teaching them swimming, riding bikes, flying paper planes, making drawings, taking Julian picking flowers in the garden for Cyn, or just being in idiot with kids like Julian said. So, maybe he thought that his way of hanging wasn’t really considered play? "I'm not a daddy with a set of bricks to play with. When I'm with the kids, they just come along with me and be with me, whatever I'm doing."And then I guess he knew that he didn’t have the patience, the endurance for constant repetition, or the will to put a child's needs first all the time, but those probably more blended into his uncertainty of fatherhood than a question of being entertaining with kids. I think it's in Giuliano, but definitely someone talking about the diaries, where there's a lot on John reading parental guides and trying different techniques and feeling frustrated, when he doesn't feel like they are working. In that context it definitely sounds like John thought there was a manual and a correct way to be a father and that he instinctively was doing it wrong.

#i feel like i am kinda missing the point but i can't seem to be able to formulate it the right way #my guess is that a lot of the self-doubts come from missing the opportunity to bond with julian early on #i also think that his interest in forming apple school to provide a better way for educations shows his interest in those topics #long before sean. so that's not play related but shows that he is maybe already thinking there is a way it #'should' be like anon asked though play/education and kids in general/fatherhood is difficult for me to differentiate right now. #was paul saying john said he couldn't do a certain kind of play or that he observed that he couldn't play with kids altogether? #people would have to ask him what he saw that made him think that.

[coquelicoq]

after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.

#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA #i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol #but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be #and sent him this text #and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason #i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process #but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol) #and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it #which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this #but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me #sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time! #and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends #it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay #baby steps! working on it! #i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know #so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things #but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this

[misterradio]

may i be honest. wtf is the correlation between flatland and gravity falls??? i see a lot of stuff about gravity falls / bill cipher in the flatland tag and i have no idea why. is it because he is a shape??? what is the correlation?

#i domt knoooewwwww.. #original nonsense #flatland #it feels weird 2 see so much bill cipher in the flatland tag bc like. thats just some other guy. from a different media entirely. #unless ppl are posting about him under a context that is as though he is a flatland character? #but i dont think that is what is happening? #also i really do not want this comment to sound rude its just an observation: #but so many ocs look so far removed from the source i am not really sure what the intentions are. #but its ur ocs so whatever lol i trust u to know ur ocs better than me. #something abt a lot of the art makes me think of patapon.... i think the patapon and flatland fans should team up... shape gang #<- maybe thats what happened with gravity falls and now i cant stop seeing bill cipher in the flatland tag

[fantasy-costco]

Simultaneously hilarious and terrifying experience of an email chain slowly devolving in formality. Starts with a salutation and a sign off, two full paragraphs of communication. By the end of the email chain it's just 'great!! Thanks.' sent from my iPhone

#I never know how much to deescalate the formality by per email #Probably because no one has ever cared about it #Anyway! I'm going to grad school and I got offered a ta position 😊 #Which means lots of emails because I didn't actually apply to be a ta (didn't think I'd get in!) but one of #My favorite professors recommended me probably assuming I'd already applied #So I'm kind of doing everything backwards now #It's wild though! I'm First in family and academia still feels so alien to me #But I guess I'm better at it than I thought... #God please dont take this as bragging I have one thing that I'm good at and I think most grad students do some kind of assistantship right?

[sskk-manifesto]

(*・ω・*)b♪

#I'm a bit late but :) #Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol #I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime. #I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc #I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga. #But even then it's just... #Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage #It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless. #I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!! #For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate. #Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him. #And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally! #Do people irl never act irrationally?” #And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand. #But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read? #That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second– #so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol. #On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL. #The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭 #I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies #(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.) #Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place #And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is– #blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but... #Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because– #a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay #Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao) #But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty. #random rambles

[mildmayfoxe]

hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro

#IT IS OK THOUGH I HAVE BEEN SORTING IT OUT #account is LOCKED DOWN! card is DELETED! fraud paperwork has been FILED! i have requested a fraud alert AND credit freeze #from the NATIONAL CREDIT BUREAU! #a friend of mine is taking me to MAINE next saturday to go to the BANK! i sent an email to my landlord asking if i can pay rent by CHECK! #i went to my other bank and deposited my BONDS! so i have some MONEY! to pay RENT! #i also got a new debit card from them. and made sure i could use my old checks. #i also bought some STAMPS while i was out and a BIRTHDAY PRESENT for a FRIEND #now i am going to start switching over some auto deposits #so when i get my paycheck on tuesday i will actually get it. #i feel so STUPID but i think i have done all i can to fix this. i am feeling better about it #by next weekend i will have my money again. it's all fine #and hopefully next time i will not get got so easily. lol. #anyway dont get got by people pretending to be your bank i guess. i did think it was weird how many questions they asked but.. #they ALWAYS ask lots of questions at the bank!!!!! #i got a text message FROM the bank saying they would be calling me soon and then the next call was from the scammer #and then like a half hour later got one from the bank and was confused bc they'd just 'called me' #anyway. it'll be fine. scary for a while but at least i have things i can do to make it better. it's all good #genuinely feeling like i ought to take out like a thousand bucks cash and keep it in my desk to replace my bonds tho tbh hahah #just in case something like this happens again. you never know. what would i have done if i DIDNT have those yknow #ok thank u all for being along on this journey with me

[skitskatdacat63]

Some contemplations on the matador au...sorry, I'm like a child with a new toy 😭(I've not abandoned my other stuff btw obv but at certain point, it gets a bit hard to build an AU cause I'm like, I have so many ideas but idk how to post them in a cohesive way???? So it's a bit more relaxing and fun to play with a new one for a bit bcs everything is new :) )

This au mostly exists bcs I rly like drawing ornate things, such as the matador costume. But I've been thinking a lot lately abt the actual content of it. Vettonso(of course.) I have a few ideas abt the actual avenue of it. I have one main one, and then two jokey ones.

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The first(and actual) one would be the original thought that both of them are matadors. And Seb retires after injury(btw jfc bullfighting injuries are such body horror. The one guy I was researching was impaled in the skull and lost his eye and some of his hearing. But he came back to bullfighting, and at some point was impaled in the chest and injured his lung. And still kept competing I think??? Somehow there's athletes more insane than f1 drivers, shocking, I know.)

I think Fernando would be renowed for his resilience and Seb for his agility. And both for their exceptional showmanship and flair 🤭 There's actually more than just matadors! Seb would prob start off as Fernando's assistant, a banderillero(kind of an assistant to the matador. They stick these flag things in the bull, and have to be super agile and fast.) And then becomes a matador in his own right(surpassing Fernando's achievements????) But as mentioned, gets a pretty bad injury and has to retire. But he still feels a lot of admiration and respect for Nando and comes to watch his matches. And Fernando *always* dedicates his kill to Seb, throwing his hat at him, hoping he'll one day come back. Seb is like: "what do I do with this box of hats..." Fernando is crying in the corner bcs he's lost a lot of his motivation.

It's really !!!!! to think about their suit designs and the evolution of it. They're pretty united when Seb is Fernando's assistant(Nando wearing light blue with gold, Seb darker blue with silver.) And then Seb becomes a matador(dark blue and gold), and Fernando suddenly changes his suit to bright red(he is upset, he is seeing red, haha get the bull joke?) Seb would start wearing that circa 2010 bull hat after successful matches, thus cementing himself as the "red bull" and Fernando, his rival, "bull-killer." They're not directly competing, but thematically they are. In traditional bull matches, there's 3 matadors vs 6 bulls. So vettonso are often in the same matches, indirectly competing against each other, but fighting to have the most flair and success. Fernando sees defeating Seb to be just as important as defeating the actual bull. He slays the bull, and then conquers the other.

Sobbing to imagine Fernando abandon his hatred for Seb after witnessing him getting injured. Cradling his bloody, torn up body. Pressing his hat to Seb's chest, soaking up his blood with his own cape. By that point, Seb had had a dark green suit. And ever since he retired, Fernando now wears the same shade, as an homage to his once great rival, dedicating every kill that Seb never got to have to the man himself.

Hahaha okay silly versions:

Two is just bullfighter!Fernando being driver Seb's wag 😭

Everyone notes the irony of him being a Red Bull driver who constantly has bull iconography(2010 bull hat, petting the bull on his car, "riding" the bull at the end of 2012, etc.) dating a man who kills bulls for a living. But it turns out Fernando is the only one who can tame the bull 🤭, and also Seb is the only bull he can't bring himself to kill. Seb makes a helmet for the Spanish gp based on the embroidery of Fernando's suit. Fernando tries to incorporate Seb's logo and rbr logo somewhere on his cape. They share a trophy shelf 🥰 and Fernando brings one of his hats to the Spanish gp to publicly bestow upon Seb.

The third is so stupid 😭 Basically: Seb becomes the human physical manifestation of one of the bulls Fernando is meant to kill, and tries to seduce him into leaving the bullfighter life. So he's a bull-boy: tails, ears, horns and all 😏 So Fernando comes home from a match, and Seb is there, kneeling, when he opens his front door. Fernando now must conquer a bull in a *different* way. Bull-boy out who is out to ruin your livelihood by seductively splaying himself across every surface in your house and encouraging you to tug on his septum ring, and forget that you have a match to go to this weekend, and wouldn't you rather enjoy a bull rather than kill one?

#please take my horrible brainrot #i get really obsessed w things and cant let them go and then write things like these..... #theres just so much metaphor abt Fernando being a bullfighter and seb literally being a red bull #kinda what i was getting at with my last drawing #seb just likes to be silly and coy(i.e wearing the bull hat to display that hes conquered the bull) #whereas fernando now takes it way too seriously and has to conquer more than one bull #seb feels akin to the bull. he understands the bull. the psychology of it. he respects it #just many things to think abt 🤔 #the other two are just silly thoughts that i like a lot though 🤭 #sry i wish i could explain better but its just taking me over so badly rn #im just like: RED BULL x BULL FIGHTER GET IT GET IT GET IT????? #f1 #vettonso #catie.rambling.txt #matador!nando