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#I should have added Sweater Weather as well tbh
killingbill · 2 years
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It's gonna be a double ask since I don't wanna spam your inbox, soooo from the weirder asks: 23, 26 and 43
Aaaaaand your top 5 Schneider looks 👀 (I'll be looking respectfully)
of course! although please feel free to spam, send as much as you want. i honestly?? want questions so, honestly i'm open to anything. i really appreciate anyone who stops by my inbox.
23. how do you feel about chilly weather?
um, in all honesty as a canadian the answer should be something positive - but i'm 100% sick of it, & i mean.. i get the stereotype where canadians have adapted to cold. i basically go out in winter wearing slides & sandals and ... tbh this last winter i basically got by with sweaters. i also never wear hats or gloves. as a smoker particularly it's fucking gnarly, but you bet your sweet ass you'll see me on my front stoop sucking down a ciggy in 15 below 0 in flip flops & a hoodie, where i've carved out a place to stand in the snow.
26. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?
when i was a kid my best friend (who is still my best friend to this day) was dating some girl from his high school named jenna. jenna didn't like me very much because, surprise surprise, i'm a girl and he's a boy & that must mean we're secretly fucking or something. meanwhile both of us are still grappling with the old sexuality, & uh, at the time he would be getting in fights with her for even being around me. he told her he wasn't going to stop hanging out with me, & idk they lasted a bit longer. though, it's funny that we're both in same sex partnerships right now. but LOL TLDR!!! I used to fantasize about telling her off, like every night. i wanted to beat her ass. also, meeting Schneider.
43. what’s your take on spicy foods?
so good, oh my god. my favourite? jalapenos and uh, sriracha are my favourites - but i eat jalapenos on basically anything, and i'll just keep adding spicy shit to anything. at this point i have a pretty strong palate, lmfao.
okay SO AS FOR THE SCHNEIDER ASK!! i did this response already, which is pretty much the same - so, here's that for reference. I'll go over my #1 again, and some honourable mentions i couldn't choose but am still thinking about!
Zick Zack Schneider. 100% not changing my answer, yet. the little cutout, with access to his stomach? so good. His fucking confidence was on fire, somehow? and it made him look femme so i was so into it. 10/10
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Amerika (shirtless and/or tank top w. the little black tie around his neck) boy, you can't flaunt that belly around me and get away with it. also, the little -- ascot thing he was wearing makes me feral, especially when he takes his shirt off?? fuck ME up.
The couch interview in the Amerika documentary. His floofy hair, his smile was so cute that day. he looks very good in long sleeves, and we don't see it often. He just made me super happy, there.
Angst (i'll call it the bane mask) idk man it's still doing stuff to my lady parts whenever i think about it, and i have zero ability to explain.
Radio! Mmm fuck, i mean - literally whenever he's in a suit. But he looked very classic, and he cleans up so well.
The scene in deutschland where the boys are wearing drag, but chris is wearing that suit + sunglasses combo.
DRSG 95. don’t talk to me. The collarbone. The chest. The baby.
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I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU
YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)
Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!
Illumi
🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails
🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf
🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather
🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)
🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨
🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-
🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody- 
🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that 
🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate
🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play
🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)
Hisoka
🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.
🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color
🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-
🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.
🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while
🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.
🧃 he got illumi a present
🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh
🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-
🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)
Killua
🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)
🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.
🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something
🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold
🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him
🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up
🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.) 
🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.
🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens. 
🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.
Gon
🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-
🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.
🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-
🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism. 
🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no. 
🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)
🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast
🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.
🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)
🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a  main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.
🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.
Leorio
🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.
🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.
🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable
🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.
🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun. 
🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else
🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.
🧃 probably eats snow.
🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually
🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies
🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-
Kurapika
🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀
🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making
🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.
🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best 
🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-
🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.
🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig- 
🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”
🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-
🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?
🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.
Chrollo
🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing
🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know
🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between
🧃 cookies are a yes
🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma
🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf
🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat
🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration
🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon
🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas
🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas
Feitan
🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-
🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts
🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask 
🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez
🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist
🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess
🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest
🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody
🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house
🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts
🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though
Alluka
🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights
🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her
🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house
🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)
🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something
🧃 snow angels are a must 100%
🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.
🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy
🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-
🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable
🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.
machi
🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything
🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah
🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice 
🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest
🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all
🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it
🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)
🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it
🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day
🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.
Pakunoda
🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much
🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty
🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two
🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute
🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit
🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want
🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf
🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)
🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her
🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes
Shalnark
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Uvo
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Shizuku
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Mito
🧃 yes
🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family
🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything
🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though
🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house
🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps
🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute
🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas
🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable
🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”
Kalluto
🧃 this small little boy omg
🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad
🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(
🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets
🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery 
🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes
🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it
🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho
🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def
🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him
Milluki
🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it
🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)
🧃 he loves snow like yes
🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything
🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes
🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure 
🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt
🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else
🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly
🧃 we stan milluki here
THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.
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yokelish · 4 years
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Heart of a dog.
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An OC for BSD no one asked for? It’s more likely than you think. A day in life of an original character by Yokelish no one asked for? Absolutely. I don’t have to, I know, but Misha has been on my mind recently, which worries me. Mostly, worries me about me. Anyway.....Here he comes. I just want to make sure for myself that I can tweak my writing style a bit. I am very humorous.You can read it, of course, and you can take it as an example of how not to write an original character. 
Anyone, here’s a thing I made for my kouhai, check that if you are more interested in canon characters. 
✏ Universe: Bungou Stray Dogs  ✏ Characters: Mikhail Bulgakov OC ✏ Word count: 3,094 (too many tbh) ✏ Warnings: mentions of alcoholism, drugs, smoking, and a dead animal.
Heart of a dog.
If there was a god above, then he must know how awful it felt to wake up in the morning. There was nothing as worthy of collective loathing as mornings. Extra sprinkles of revulsion get the mornings involving work. Mikhail covered his eyes when picking up the ringing phone. The light hurt him just as much as the idea of getting up from the bed. The ringing was tenfold louder and more annoying in his head, hitting the walls in his skulls like a smith’s hammer. Every sensation felt like an assault on his already shaky sanity.
“You have a patient in an hour,” said familiar voice on the line. Misha groaned. It wasn’t her voice that grinding on his nerves, it was the idea of having to do work today. The woman on the phone sighed with deliberate loudness just to let him know all about her frustration. She was the only person who could stand having him. Mostly because he payed her a pretty sum but that wasn’t the only reason.
“You have no option,” Nadejda reprimanded. There was a sound of typing on the other side, but it ceased quickly. “It’s Olga Danilovna.”
He took a deep breath. There was no mental exercise to prepare for that. “Dear, I don’t pay you for ruining my day the moment it begun.”
“Right, you pay me to do my job,” she spoke sternly. “And if my job ruins your day the moment it begins, I’m sorry, get a better life.”
“Understood, the blame is mine. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“You better be here in an hour.” Nadya hang up the phone first. The annoying sound of a call ending assaulted his hearing. The sensations of the outside were coming on too strong, they were attacking, they were frustrating. Everything was too sharp, too bright, too loud. His head was pounding with the reminders of how Misha had spent the last three days. It was nothing close to productive.
Mikhail got up from the bed with a groan of a man who was drinking for days straight. He wasn’t dry for an hour, as the saying was. He sighed, and groaned, and regretted the drinking. He would do it again. The clothes on the floor didn’t bother him. There was never anyone to pass judgement. There was never anyone to tell him to get his life together either. There was simply no one. Barefoot he walked across the room, picking up and collecting articles of clothing that would go in the wash now. There was an hour for him to get to the office, which wasn’t impossible, but it meant he had to move around his small apartment faster. And he doubted his mind and body could comprehend moving faster without sending the surroundings spinning. Everything was too overwhelming now. It wouldn’t get better for a while.
The cold water splashing against his face brought some sanity back. It felt good to be reminded the drinking had yet to kill him. It was nice to be reminded he had a job only he could do. It felt good that he was alive and capable of doing something. It was all a comforting lie to get over himself and his hangover.
The cold air of the outside smelled like that of a big and polluted city. The sounds were loud but distant, multiple but common. Nothing new was added to the picture he witnessed day after day. It’s an old painting he studied for hours, every stroke, every shade, every perspective too familiar. Nothing about it was new or surprising or remotely pleasant. It simply was and it was only ever changing in ways that didn’t matter. The city he got too familiar living in. The air, the sounds, the broken pavement underneath. The sun was hiding or finding comfort in the heavy grey clouds foretelling rain. The sun, too, didn’t want to see the city. This weather was for the better. The bright and shiny would sulk the mood. That would go against his already ruined day. Bulgakov stopped walking only to get the cigarettes out and start one. The smoke felt good in his lungs. It smelled better than the city too.
Fortunately, it didn’t start to rain while he was trying to get to his office on time. Doctor Bulgakov appeared in a somewhat acceptable state in. Unfortunately, he didn’t make it within the given time frame. And, unfortunately, there were no excuse for him available either.
“Late.” A stern, annoyed, but factual statement. The voice belonging to the woman of the hour. Mikhail shook of his coat and carelessly hung it. Nadejda was sitting at the receptionist table looking very annoyed herself, staring daggers at the other woman. Such were the days featuring Olga Danilovna.
“Hey there, Dan. It’s been a while,” Mikhail shifted his attention to the child in a wheelchair. He was a blonde boy, aged eleven, with a pet cage on his lap. The cage covered up with a blanket. By the size of it, Misha would guess it was fit for a rabbit.
“Hello, Doctor Misha,” the boy replied slowly, patting the blanket-covered cage as if the animal could feel it.
“I guess it’s your leg this time.”
“It hurts.” As honest as a child could be. Nothing wrong in admitting being in pain. Danila was staring at the wall mindlessly, repeating the same motions with his hand.
“Just hold on a little longer,” the doctor assured. “It will be over soon.”
Bulgakov unlocked the door to the examination office. It smelled the same as always: sickeningly familiar smell of disinfectant that turns sweet to senses over time. It smelled more like home that anything else. Nadya was always a good keeper. She kept his office as pristine as she kept his dirty secret. Well, the secret wasn’t awfully dirty but, as all secrets are, problematic to keep in check. It had to be controlled who knew and who didn’t. If too many people knew about it, life would become very uncomfortable very quick. And Mikhail was a person of comfort.
For the sake of formality, he put on white medical coat over his sweater. He took the cage off the boy’s lap and placed it on the table. Danila barely reacted to the change, dropping his hand on his lap the moment the cage was gone. Bulgakov peeked inside. Inside was, indeed, a rabbit.
“You really like animals, Doctor Misha. Where do you keep them all?” Danila asked. It was a gift of being a child to be so oblivious to the obvious.
“Me? No. I have a friend who lives on a farm. He adores them,” Bulgakov lied and did so naturally. At some point, he even thought of a name for said friend, how big the farm was and what animals lived there now. A well-repeated lie was a believable lie. The more it’s told, the more it turned into the truth of things. It wasn’t a stretch of intellectual thought to count all the pets that came into his office along with the patients and conclude a remarkably simple outcome: those pets never went home with him. But he wouldn’t break a child’s heart so cruelly. In six weeks, Dan’s leg would be perfectly healed. And the rabbit would be six weeks older. But six weeks is too long for his mother to wait. A broken bone is a note in the medical history of an upcoming sports star. Mikhail never bothered to remember what exactly Danila played.
Mikhail came to inspect the boy’s leg. The safest bet in his line of work is to assume the worst possible injury: broken. But on the plus size, it seemed to be broken only in one place.
“Put your arms around my neck and hold on as tight as you can,” he said to the boy. Tiny hand grabbed around his neck without much force behind it. “On a count of three. One.” He carefully hooked his arms under Dan’s legs. “Two.” The doctor mentally braced himself. “Three.”
It wasn’t terribly difficult. It was only the weight of a child, after all. But Misha was having a terrible hangover and, thus, everything seemed more difficult than it should have been. Danila was now sitting on the exam table. Not that there was anything else to examine. And even if there was some injury unseen to the naked eye, he hardly had the equipment for it. Taking care of the child was a job for the mother. Bulgakov offered the headphones to the child. A useful thing to protect the child from a conversation that a child should not be privy to.
“Well, you know the drill, Dan,” Mikhail said, helping the boy to lie down comfortably on the table. “Headphones on, eyes closed, full relaxation.” The patient nodded, putting on the noise cancelling headphones on without questions. Danila was a good child just not equally blessed with good parents.
After making sure that Dan couldn’t hear a thing, Bulgakov returned to the rabbit in a cage. Lovely animal: calm, big, with a shiny fur. Misha took the rabbit in his arms and started to gently stroke the animal to calm it. It was warm, and alive, and completely defenseless.
“You look like you’ve been drinking for two days straight,” Olga Danilovna observed. Misha couldn’t tell if she was judging or simply stating. Not that he cared for either of those things, it was mere curiosity. He rarely could decipher any emotion within her unless it was anger and irritation.
After a quick mental math exercise, he forced a smile on his face. “Actually, it was three. I’ll take it as a compliment.”
“You think you are funny,” she mocked him. “Nothing worse than a man thinking himself funny.”
“I thought there was nothing better than a man acting like a clown,” Misha replied, grinning. “And nothing worse than a man thinking himself awfully charming.”
Olga shook her head, fake blonde hair perfectly styled with too much spray, and rolled her eyes. And that was the end of that conversation. However, there was something else on Bulgakov’s mind, something he doubted was worth mentioning. After all, it wasn’t any of his business. The last thing he needed to do is to pass any judgment on people who paid him. It was an excellent advice, most importantly, it was an instruction he gave himself. He couldn’t be wrong about that. And so, he didn’t listen.
“You drugged him,” he stated simply. There was barely any judgement in his voice. There was no point in judging a client, least of all, a client that wouldn’t listen. But a warning wasn’t something Olga Danilovna would accept either. A challenge, however, she could listen to.
“I gave him painkillers, yes,” replied Olga.
“No, I expected painkillers, that’s why he wasn’t crying by the time I showed up. I am saying you drugged him. I noticed the slowness in his reaction time. I saw his eyes up close.”
“What did you expect me to do? He is still a boy and can’t handle pain very well.”
Bulgakov sighed. What was he expecting to get by starting this conversation, anyway? Danila was his patient and nothing more. And the only reason the kid even was a patient was because his mother could afford to pay. It really wasn’t any of his business. He should forget about it. Mikhail continued to stroke the animal in his arms, offering whatever little comfort he could. And taking in all the comfort the rabbit could provide. It was alive, and warm, and with a soft fur. It felt lovely to hold a rabbit in his arms.
“I have to ask, though,” Olda Danilovna started to speak again, “would you be able to treat a concussion?”
“A concussion? Are you serious, Ol’?” he could even tell why he was getting riled up. “He’s eleven. Get him into swimming or some other Olympic sport.” Never mind, after some quick digging, he remembered that he had a personal dislike towards Olga Danilovna. Money can buy a service; it cannot buy positive personal bias unless for testifying in court.
“And what of it? Even if he wins the Olympics and brings home gold, he will peak before he’s twenty-five and then what?” Olga crossed her arms on her chest. Cold-blue flame flickering in her eyes dangerously — a warning. “Be a PE teacher? A swimming coach? No, thank you. And answer my question, damn you.”
“Sure, I can,” Mikhail answered, giving up. Arguing with a woman such as herself would only bring headache. Her voice was as sharp as her glare. And he was still recovering after a hangover.
“Would a rabbit suffice?” she continued to question.
“Depends on the severity,” the man shrugged. The rabbit in his arms was acting like a perfect companion. Perhaps, whatever little comfort he could offer was just enough to keep it calm. “If there is an open wound gushing out blood from his head, then no, you’ll have to find something bigger.”
“Like what?”
“Well, there are plenty of stray dogs on the streets.”
“Screw you.”
“Understandable.”
Cutting the conversation short, Bulgakov took his seat behind the table. The rabbit still cradled in his arms. He knew the pain that would follow render him useless, he’d collapse on the floor and then live with the embarrassment of such memory. Not that he cared for it, but for the sake of formality. The pain intensified and was only made worse by the remains of the hangover. If it made his head pound and body feel weak, now he could safely say he knew exactly what getting hit by a car felt like. It was a pain to the tips of his fingers, clouding his mind, rendering him mute and weak. The only positive about this state was that he was familiar with this. It was a pain that never got better; it never got worse. It was stagnant and familiar, which means he got used to it over time, with each use. He learned to live with it. Today just happened to be a little worse due to careless hangover. His hand rested on the still warm rabbit’s fur.
“You can take him, Ol’,” Bulgakov rasped as if dying from thirst. “Nadejda Andreevna will process the payment.”
Olga Danilovna didn’t waste a second more, running up to her son and getting him up from the table. In a hurry she could pass for a warn and loving mother, she even examined the previously broken leg. She asked if anything hurt. Olga could pass for a caring mother and not a woman who wanted to live out her ambitions through her son. With his leg perfectly healed, Danila wheeled the chair himself.
“Thank you, Doctor Misha,” the boy said with a smile before leaving the room. His reactions were a little faster this time around.
Mikhail, however, barely had the mental capacity left free from the pain to comprehend the words and offer a reply. Nonetheless, he managed. “Be careful next time, Dan.” He offered a feeble wave of his hand before the boy left. When the door closed, Misha slouched on the table, resting his forehead against the cold wood. It was offering no relief whatsoever, but it felt grounding. A sensation to tether him to reality, otherwise, he would allow himself to drift away from it. The rabbit’s fur felt less warm. That was even less of a comfort. It stopped mattering the moment he picked his phone this morning.
It was all a little useless. Nothing but a play of a repentant man. One actor theatre: he is on stage and is the audience. He didn’t count seconds, cared not for minutes it took for Nadya to come in through the door with a glass of water. He heard the door opening, her light steps, but didn’t want to raise his head just yet.
“You’ll survive, right?” Nadejda asked with amusement in her voice. He was rendered useless, true, but not helpless.
“Bastards live a long life.” A glass was placed on his table. Mikhail chuckled, amused by the thought that rushed through his pounding head. “Careful, dear, I’ll start to think you are a warm and caring human being.”
“That will be your grave mistake,” she replied.
“Doesn’t sound so bad.”
“Take your pills and, please, with water. It’s not in my interest for you to choke on them.”
“I shall.”
“You want me to take care of that?” she asked coldly, uncaring. That was why their arrangement was most perfect. That was why he hired her and why she remained by his side. There were few reasons why she could stand to work for such a horrible, irresponsible boss. Not only because he could pay her a pretty number. Not only because they were legally bound by a contract, preventing Nadejda from getting her hefty paycheck in case of Bulgakov’s strange death. It wasn’t only because she could keep her pretty mouth perfectly shut. But because Nadejda was aware of her self-serving nature and did not care. Nadejda Andreevna did not, in fact, care for anything but herself.
Mikhail placed the rabbit on the table and took out a cigarette from inside his pocket. He put one in his mouth. Nadya wordlessly offered a lighter. The smoke felt good inside his lungs: warm, calming, and perfectly harmful.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll take care of it,” Mikhail replied, evenly breathing out cigarette smoke. He reached in the drawer to get the pills out. Something to dull the pain, something to bring more senses back to life. Nadya was leaving the room in her usual catlike steps.
“You’ll lock up, right?” she asked, stopping in the doorway.
“Sure,” Misha nodded.
“See you when I see you.”
“Right back at ya.”
The door closed behind her. Soon, the office would be completely empty. He would leave, locking up for the day. Soon, the pain from his body would disappear completely, gone without a trace. His state would return to what it was when he woke up. Soon, there would be nothing bothering him but the hangover. The pounding would get less intense as time passed. By the end of the day, he should fell relatively fine. Soon, he would be heading home where he’d get to be as miserable as he felt like to be. Soon. Right after he would bury this obviously very dead rabbit on the table.
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fewrebels-a · 6 years
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- name: orion decody. (geri insisted they drop the ugly name pattern going on in her family i.e. beatrice, geraldine, and start their own theme w stars / constellations !!!!!!) - likes / dislikes: likes used bookstores (hates borders, barnes & nobles, and bam! with a passion. she prefers her books to be broken in because the “dog ears” some pages have, the highlighting, the rips, they all give them character!!), coconut oil for just about everything, radiohead (she gets that from her parents, definitely), those fancy coffee drinks with the latte art, warm weather, school projects, writing in different colored gel pens, looking up at stars whilst laying out on the roof / dislikes group projects, sickly sweet scented candles, the hype surrounding the beatles, math, cheesy musicals, scary films. - first word: it was “daddy”, probably bc geri didn’t really care what she said first but was happy as hell regardless. castor probably rubbed it in her face to which he got a small elbow to the ribs. - appearance: she’s very into coordinating her outfit (something she doesn’t get from either parents tbh), she’s the type of girl in black skirts and sweaters with a collar and intricate and miniscule jewellry. she’s got this old messenger bag that was geri’s when she was in college and even though it’s tattered as hell, refuses to part with it. she has her “pinna” pierced on her left ear and three holes in each lobe. she’s never seen without some kind of reading material, whether it’s a magazine, book, or newspaper. she has her headphones habitually thrown around her neck in case she ever needs to pop them in and turn on some white noise if she ever wants to read in a crowded place. when she’s not at school she will dress down more in baggy shirts that she steals from geri’s closet. - which parent they look more like: her face is all geri but her mannerisms and the way she talks and carries herself is all castor. - which parent they like more: she doesn’t like one more than the other but i feel like she goes to them for different things? she’ll go to her mom should she need homework help or advice with dating or friends and stuff (even tho geri feels clueless bc friends??? what are those), and goes to her dad every time she finds a cool new documentary or magazine article about something they can bond over. - height once fully grown: she’s smol like g so about 5′4″ - job ambition: she wants to be a researcher! like at a museum, one of those people who records data and helps organize exhibits! she just cannot get enough of knowledge, so getting a job like this will help her get her fill of just that! she’ll also travel abroad with her job a bunch, which is amazing. she sends mom and dad postcards from every location she gets to visit! - faceclaim: ella purnell. - personality (added cos i’m extra!): orion was always the girl in school that you went to if you had any questions. because chances are she can give you an explanation just as good as a teacher would, with easier to understand vernacular and endless offers to help. however, she HATES group projects because she knows she’s smart as hell and is not about to lug around everyone else’s extra weight. she’s a cross between wanting to get to bed early so she’s well rested for the next day and working super hard on essays until 3 am and falling asleep with a half drunk mug of coffee in her grip. she’s got geri’s quick wit and castor’s way of looking at the world. she lets off this independent woman exterior at times but lowkey always knows she can lean back on her parents if need be. 
BONUS... THEY HAVE FUCKIN’ TWINS !!!!! 
- name: hunter decody. - likes / dislikes: likes sublime, any type of riding (skateboard/bike, he owns both), late night adventures (basically doing hoodrat shit with his friends), science class (mostly bc he likes dissecting :/ ya nasty), any and all italian food, animals (he wants a zillion), memes, chinese food, rob zombie films, xbox, weed / dislikes literally any class but his science class, curfew, waking up before noon, the beach, assigned readings, spicy foods. - first word: it was “mama” because hunter is a TOTAL mama’s boy. - appearance: sooooo laid back. usually a band t-shirt, some jeans and a hoodie. he’s the type of teenage boy that literally looks like he just got up out of bed and started his day in his pjs. he’s super chill tho and finds it hella badass that he and his mom share a lot of the same bands. he’s tall and occasionally wears his glasses, and a beanie. - which parent they look more like: geri sees 100% castor in hunter and she loves it. - which parent they like more: like i said they go to their parents for different things. i can see him asking geri for help on his english homework (since that is his worst subject and going to castor for just about everything else (weed, girls, etc). - height once fully grown: 5′10- job ambition: hunter struggles throughout high school to pick a career path he’s so set on. on one hand, there’s geri who knew what she wanted to be since she was five, and castor who is rather laid back in his career. it takes him a gap year after graduation to help him realize that he wants to be vet. he’s always enjoyed working alongside animals, and the practice includes all of his favorite parts of sciences he took growing up so it’s pretty much a perfect fit. at first he was scared that putting school off for a year would make his parents upset but castor and geri were just glad that he figured out something he was happy with. - faceclaim: bradley steven perry. - personality (added cos i’m extra!): truly the coolest kid in ur grade. while orion is the top of the class, hunter could probably rank as the lowest as he simply does not care. he’s your average rebellious teen who gets into pot super young (like freshman year of hs) and thinks by smoking pot he’s rebelling and being badass meanwhile cas and geri are just like,,, anyways maybe don’t smoke out of the house??? we’re not trying to get a call from the police dept to pick ur ass up???? so that probably makes him respect his parents a lot more like damn yall were stoners? geri and cas like: were? hits blunt. anyway, he’s super chill and has a pretty solid group of friends he’s had in his life since he was born, pretty much. they are constantly out after school at a skate park or around town jumping off of shit with their skateboards or bikes when they should be doing homework smh. he’s super caring and protective over his friends and family and would do ANYTHING for them, especially orion. they’re polar opposites and half the time she feels like she’s talking to a wall when she lectures him about school / smoking but at the end of the day they’re bonded tighter than anyone. 
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