#I really liked them in this ep being matter-of-factly supportive of each other again

[caxsthetic]

Not Fine

Miya Osamu x F!Reader

Hurtful Truth: Not everyone was given the chance to have someone that they loved. And sometimes, we could only think about what could have been.

Pt. 2 ⇚ Part 3 ⇛ Ep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. GRAND MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"All your services are brutal today, Atsumu."

The setter's grip on his water bottle tightened when his upperclassmen — now fellow teammates on Japan National Team — stated his well being all over again. He didn't answer, nor was he willing to explain why he looked like he was ready to kill anyone on sight.

Though, the wing spiker knew. Ojiro didn't have to hear anything from the blonde setter. The news about the Onigiri Miya scandal was all over the nation after all. The drama that no one ever thought would occur, knowing how much the owner and the woman behind the company loved each other.

But sometimes, this life was not all about fairy tales and happy endings. Not everyone had the privilege to have the love that they wanted. Not everyone could have someone they love to be their lifetime partner. And Atsumu, he knew that fact for a long time, ever since the first moment he laid his eyes on you.

"My sister will join us at today's practice." The middle blocker said after munching on his lunch. "Hope you guys would be okay with that."

Atsumu groaned, hating the fact that there would be some kind of distraction. He didn't care less though, knowing he would not even spare a glance. But a new face at practice only meant that everyone would swarm them, like a toy that everyone wanted to have. Especially since they were related to the members of the club, that made everything worse.

"Does she really have to?" Rintarou rolled his eyes a little when the setter parted his lips. Not because of the question, but more like how the question was being thrown.

"My parents are going to be home late. They will kill me if she's all alone in the house." Though the brunette just answered a matter of factly, knowing for certain if he answered with the same tone, all hell broke loose.

"Tch. Is she just like another squealing pig or something? Can't she take care of herself?"

"Sumu,"

"No, Samu. For real, do all girls really can't defend themselves? Why is she being treated so highly you can't make her stay at home all alone?" The commotion was not necessary, but he just couldn't help it when someone had the potential to wreck the practice.

"It's all about being a great sibling, Sumu." The opposite wing spiker answered with his usual flat intonation. "Something that you really lacked off, ya know?"

"Hah?! What does that mean?!" Atsumu really wanted to throw some pickles at his twin. But somehow he could imagine the silver-haired man opening up his mouth to catch the food instead, so he chose to stay silent and grumbled under his breath.

He played with his food, poking the vegetables as he had a big pout plastered on his face. "What is she anyway? A princess or something?"

But by God, you were more than just a princess.

The second you walked inside the gymnasium beside your brother, his jaw dropped as he felt like he was blessed by the deity. You were not like any other girls that were usually so timid and acting all shy — no, not like that.

You had your chin up, throwing your soft smile to anyone that met your gaze. So confident, as if it was the thousand times you were already meeting the whole team. Rintarou didn't even need to introduce you, you already talked to everyone like an old friend.

Something about you just made him feel warm. Atsumu didn't know you, he didn't even bother to ask the brunette middle blocker for your name. But he swore even though you were just standing there, eyes still focused on anyone else, he could feel his heart singing.

A genuine smile emerged on his face, the smile that only appeared when he looked at some cool volleyball technique or a row of fatty tuna at the convenience store.

"Hey, Samu." He called out to his twin brother as his brown orbs still planted on your figure. "At this moment, I claim Sunarin's sister as mine!" He expected to hear any remark, or maybe a volleyball being thrown towards his face.

But there was only silence. The setter was sure that his twin was standing right beside him, so why didn't he get any answer — oh. Oh, that's why. When he turned his face to look at the silver-haired man, he really wished he didn't.

The grey orbs that usually so dimmed, that didn't even spark that much when they were on the court, were now shone so bright with adoration and amazement. Atsumu followed where the gaze fell, what could possibly have made his twin brother have such intense expressions.

And he could feel his shoulder slumped when he realised that his twin was looking at the same person that he saw before. Why of all things in this world, they just had to have the exact interest towards one person. Not fair, he wanted to say that he was the one who looked at you first, he wanted to punch his brother's arms and told him that you would be his.

"Didja say something, Sumu?"

But right now as his twin brother finally composed himself and turned around to face him, Atsumu just realised how the love that he had for his twin brother was a little bit too much for his own good.

"Nah. Just some dumb things."

Guess happily ever after really existed only in the children's books.

"You have been scrolling through your phone for the last couple of minutes." The blonde setter didn't give any kind of response as he just drilled his eyes to the small screen. Knowing that he wouldn't receive anything, the stoic ex-captain of Inarizaki VBC decided to just sit beside the melancholic male, taking the empty stool.

It was not really like Atsumu at all, to seclude himself while everyone was either on the dance floor or bantering together — since it had been so long for the rest of the team to be in the same place. Though, Kita couldn't blame him from wanting to get away from here.

"You do understand that one day you have to make peace with Osamu, right?"

Just the mention of his twin was enough to make his blood boil. He gritted his teeth, scoffing at the idea of him to be on the same page with the businessman like before. As if he could see his twin brother without disgust, as if he could see his twin brother with the same fondness.

No, Miya Osamu didn't have the liberty to be considered as his brother the second he decided to cheat on you.

From the very first moment he saw you, Atsumu never thought that he wanted to have someone in his life as much as when he met you. Your sweet smile, supportive nature, so good and just felt so right even as time went by.

Though he never dared to say anything, not because he was a coward and afraid of rejection, it was not that. But because he knew too well that his twin brother used to look at you the same way he commits. What sickening was when he realised he still gazed at you like a fool in love while the younger twin didn't anymore.

And he wished, he really wished that he never let Osamu have a taste of your love since the beginning.

"Tch. Like hell I am willing to do that." Atsumu locked his phone and threw it mindlessly to the bar. "I am sorry, Kita-san. But you of all people should have known why I act like this." He clenched and unclenched his fist to calm himself down, to erase the little tremor that he felt.

The brown orbs that belonged to the setter now sent a dagger to the laughing man that was swarmed by a lot of people. How could his twin have such a joyous smile on his face after everything that he had done? How could someone act so free as if he didn't just tear someone else's life?

Osamu was blessed to have such a wonderful woman that never turned her back on him. When his twin called him that one particular day, saying that you said yes to his wedding proposal — Atsumu realised that he had lost the promise that he made at one of their fights.

"When we are in our deathbeds, I am gonna turn and look you right in your face! And say I had a happier life!"

He scoffed the second he hung up the call. His twin had won, there was nothing that could make him happier than to have you in his life, cheering at him on every match that he had. You were there though, on most of the tournaments that were held, being such a supportive sister-in-law.

You always sat on the VIP bleachers, the one that was located at the side of the court. When you were there to support him, you went all out, wearing his volleyball club's merchandise as if you were paid with how you looked like you were drowned by all of those items. And by all means, he wanted to run up to you after a service ace, he wanted to cup your cheek and smash his lips to yours.

Yet he knew that it was just a mindless dream. For years he buried his feelings that never wanted to leave. He was there to be the best wingman that he could ever be for his twin brother, he made sure that no one captured your heart except for Osamu — and of course himself.

Yet right now as he looked at how Osamu had his arms wrapped around Rintarou instead of you, he wished he never helped his brother to get your heart in the first place.

He couldn't, he couldn't do this anymore.

Atsumu grabbed his jacket and car keys, rushing out from the club that smelled nothing but sweat and alcohol. He used to enjoy it, to have fun and get wasted with his brother. But now a glimpse of the twin and he wanted to spit on his face.

His upperclassmen didn't even bother to stop him, knowing that if he tried to make him stay, it would only result in a fight. The setter didn't care how his brother called out to him, he didn't even turn his head as he walked through all the strangers that were invited here.

"Sumu!"

He sped up his pace, slipping through the swarm of people as he didn't want his twin brother to catch up on him. "Hoi, Sumu!"

Atsumu could finally feel the fresh air when he barged through the door. The night air was cold, but it was a lot more refreshing than the packed space inside. He stopped for a second, to gather his breath before continuing his pace to the car.

But then he tensed up when he heard someone else walking outside, following him. Something about a bond between a twin brother, was how they could feel each other's presence within some range. A scowl immediately appeared on his face as he could hear his twin panted behind him.

"Why the fuck you followed me?" His voice was flat, but from how he chose the words was enough to make Osamu know how much his older brother despised him. "I don't want to see you, go back to your — fuck, to that whore!"

Osamu snapped when the blonde setter insulted his fiancé. He couldn't control it as his body moved on its own, fist making contact to the back of his brother's head. It was as if there was a fire blinding him, what fire? He didn't even know as he continued to plant his fist to his doppelganger.

"Take that back, Sumu!" He was so enraged as he forcefully turned his brother's head to face him, hand gripping on the collar. "Don't you bring my fiancé's name like that! Rintarou didn't have any fault—"

"Didn't have any fault?!" Atsumu spit on his twin brother's face, making the black-haired man drop him to the ground. "You fucking cheat on (Y/n), and he agreed! The two of you fuck around on the goddamn house that you shared with her! He did it willingly, Samu!"

The parking lot was quiet, as everyone was currently inside and enjoying their night. Oblivious of what happened just outside the club. The setter dusted his clothes, gritting his teeth as he looked at his twin brother that he always boasted around here and there. But now, now the brown orbs looked at his carbon copy with disappointment. "And I still can't believe you did that too."

The two of them just stared at each other's eyes, five feet apart since they were sure another fight would ensue if there was no gap in between them.

Atsumu letting out a sigh, chuckling bitterly as he could feel tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. His twin brother could do nothing but to face the ground, funny how they were so close, yet felt so far as if there was no bond that connected them since birth.

The younger twin didn't dare to face his brother as he let every word that was just being thrown towards him sunk inside his mind. He knew that the setter now wanted nothing to do with him, he knew that perhaps for the next few years, Atsumu would do anything to avoid him.

Ever since everyone knew what he did with the professional middle blocker, he could feel how the string that linked them together — started to get loose. The two of them promised inside their own mind, that they would never leave each other behind. So he had to cling on that hope.

"Hey, Samu." The younger twins looked up, only to see the broad back of his brother. He didn't know what was inside the setter's head, he couldn't see his expression to predict the words that might come out. But somehow, he could feel his heart clenched as if it would be the last time he saw him.

"I wish I never had you as my brother."

And right at this moment, he just realised that he had lost not just one — but two people at the same time.

He had lost you, the only woman that would do anything for him in a blink of an eye, you that interlaced your hand with him as you walked right by his side from the beginning. You, you, and you. His first love, his first kiss, his first everything.

And he, too, lost Miya Atsumu, his very own twin brother that was there to accompany him when he breathed the first air in this world. Now his greyish orbs could only stare at the car that passed him, a sign that showed him from now on — he was on his own.

Osamu buried his face on the white sheet of his bed, covering his whole head with a pillow. This had been going on for the last minutes, and the setter started to get tired of hearing his usual quiet twin, acting like he just dropped some food down the floor, whining and grunting.

"Can ya shut yer trap?" Atsumu was not angry or something, he was just curious about what could cause his twin to be like this. "You are awfully annoying right now, ya know?"

He expected to hear some reaction, another insult just like how it used to. But surprisingly, he was only greeted by silence. The blonde that was playing the console before now paused his game, walking towards the bed and poke his head at the upper level. He nudged his twin brother on the waist, making the opposite wing spiker to jolt and yelped.

"What do ya want?!" Osamu grumbled and sat up straight on his bed, glaring at his twin. "I am busy thinking, what is it?"

"You are making disturbing noises as if you are going to die!" The blonde retorted, folding his arms in front of his chest. "What is it? Don't tell me you failed another exam."

"No, no." Letting out a sigh, the foodies leaned his head on the wall. "It's not that, it's something silly actually."

Atsumu raised one of his eyebrows, now really worried when he saw his twin brother looked so gloomy. He didn't want to show it, yet if someone saw him now, it was really visible through his brown orbs how much he cared for his younger brother.

"Yeah? How silly?"

"I like Sunarin's sister."

He parted his lips, wanting to say something, maybe a joke or some playful response. But it was as if there was a huge lump on his throat, making his voice to be stuck there when the information finally seeped on his mind.

He should have known this fact by now, everyone that had eyes could see how clumsy Osamu would be when you were around, how by just having you watching the practice made his performance on the court even better. Yet when he finally heard it right from the younger twin, he knew that there was no chance for him to make a move on you.

Ha, as if he had a chance from the start anyway.

"You are not really subtle, Samu." Atsumu snickered, trying to coat his own pain that was now bubbling inside his heart with some laughter. "Why did you look so scared? You have this handsome face, it would be easy to catch her heart." He playfully pointed at his own face, after all the two of them were twins anyway.

"Jerkhead."

"Hey!"

The silver-haired man rolled his eyes, now snickering when the setter had a big pout on his face. Atsumu felt relieved inside his heart, that at least now his twin brother could laugh and came back to his usual self. He may not look like it, but he would do anything to make sure that his twin lives the best life.

"For real, though, Samu." He cleared his throat, a smug look was now written all over his face. "I will be the best wingman ever, and you will get that pretty lady to be your lover ten days from now!"

If that meant he had to sacrifice his own feelings, then so be it. Miya Atsumu loved his brother, maybe more than anything in this world, more than the woman that could make his heart skip a beat in a matter of seconds by just glancing at her.

And when he saw the grey orbs covered with hope, he knew that he had chosen the right thing to do.

Right now though, Atsumu really wanted to turn back time when he was still in high school.

He wanted to go back, to when he first laid his eyes on you. If he was given the chance, he would snap his fingers in front of his twin. If he could be on that day once again, he would make sure that the once wing spiker could hear him loud and clear when he declared you would be his.

Atsumu chuckled bitterly at how everything turned out. His brown orbs stared into the ceiling, ignoring his phone that kept vibrating on the drawer. Every time he looked at the screen, it was always the same name. Miya Osamu, one of the most successful businessmen below thirty.

Today, he was supposed to be the best man for the business tycoon. He should have worn the black suit that had a golden accent on the collar and the wrist. But the exact same suit was now still packed under the plastic wrap, hanging inside his massive closet as if it was just another old clothes that he would never wear.

When he got that suit all those months ago, he was appointed to be the best man at Miya Osamu and Suna (F/n) wedding, that was the deal. He already prepared the speech, as he wanted to be as perfect as he could be in front of the two people that he loved the most.

Even though he was jealous, even though sometimes he flipped his twin's portrait so it was as if he was the one inside the picture with you, he still wanted the best for the black-haired man. Yet now, to know that he sacrificed his own happiness, to know that you devoted your whole life for his twin only to have your heart broken at the end of the day — Atsumu really couldn't stop himself from thinking about what could have been.

He groaned when his phone vibrated once again, and he was ready to just throw it out the window or turned it off. But he was anticipating someone else, he was afraid that you would call him. He wanted to make sure that he was just one call away, that he was easy to reach.

And well, it was all paid off when your name was now all over his screen.

Atsumu immediately sat straight, bouncing like a child as a smile adorned his lips. He didn't know why he felt so nervous, it was just you after all. Ye,s you, the one woman that he had been pining from for the last ten years he lived in this world.

"The superior twin is here!" He declared with so much confidence in his voice, and he was so giddy when he could hear you snicker from the other line. "I am serious though, I am older, therefore I am superior."

"I don't know where you got that way of thinking, but I will let it slide for you." You answered, though his forehead scrunched up a bit when he caught how different you sounded like just now. But he shook it off, he would keep talking and become your company, that was his goal from the start.

Something that he noticed was how clear your voice was just now. Usually, it would crack here and there, the results of you crying for hours. But you were so much calmer, yet you still sounded so tired, as if you had been working nonstop.

"Ah, miss (Y/n), always so humble." But he wouldn't ask anything if you were not the one who opened up to him. "Say, what have I done to get such privilege hearing your voice?" Because for him, to be at least the one who you were comfortable talking to, was enough.

"I just need company, Atsumu." You breathed out softly, and he could hear a gentle splash of water from your side. "Are you busy helping around the wedding?"

"No, I am not busy. Not at all." He wanted to confess that he was not even at the venue, but somehow he could hear you scolding him for not being a good brother for his twin. So he decided to keep his mouth shut, focusing himself solely on you. "I am here, (Y/n). I am always here if you need me."

"Yeah?" Your voice was strained a little. "Then, would you tell me a story? Anything? I just want to listen to your voice."

His heart skipped a beat faster from your statement. Your words made him feel something that he had lost, the thing that he buried since he saw how his twin's eyes sparkled when he saw you. Hope. He cleared his throat, chuckling a little as he tried not to show how nervous he was right now.

"Since you asked so nicely."

Atsumu was a great storyteller, that was what you could conclude by hearing his tone went up and down so easily as word after word rolled down from his tongue. It was refreshing, to hear him talking non stop like this.

Something about his voice just made you feel at peace. As if you were back to your high school days where everything was all good. He always came up at you, usually talking nonsense and whined about his twin brother. It had been so long since you had a decent conversation, all because the work schedule and adulthood being harsh.

So to hear the same voice that used to accompany your teenage life, to hear the same cheeky remarks here and there that just screamed freedom — you knew that it was the right thing to call him.

"Hey, Atsumu."

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

The blonde setter was taken aback by the sudden gratitude that you gave. He never asked to be acknowledged by you, he never expected himself that one day you would see him without any lingers that reminded you of your ex-fiancé.

Then again maybe, maybe this was a good start, and he really couldn't wait to see you back in line, became the princess — without prince — that kept thriving to reach the ultimate ending.

"Really, it's nothing." He chuckled softly, carding his fingers to the strands of his blonde hair. "I just tried to be the best... friend that I could ever be."

One step at a time, Miya Atsumu. He reminded himself. Maybe one day you would find your happily ever after, but you needed to be patient.

"Hehe, you are the best." Your voice sounded more distance by now. "Now I wonder what would happen if only I am being honest at that time." As if you dropped your phone somewhere, and you were too tired to pick it up.

"Honest?" But he didn't pay too much attention to it as he was more curious by your words. "(Y/n), what do you mean? That time when?"

There was only silence, and right now his mind was creating a lot of scenarios. He bit his lips, wanting to know what was the meaning of your words. "(Y/n)? Please, what do you mean by being ho—"

"I used to like you, you know?"

And time seemed to stop, as the confession rolled down from your lips so easily. He wanted to say something, he wanted to ask you to define your words. Like was such an ambiguous word. It could be interpreted as how you like his personality, or you liking the fact you were friends with him, "I used to love you, at one time."

"W-What?" But this one word slipped from your lips, answered his questions from before. "Don't joke around like that. You always loved Samu, everyone knew that." Yet he didn't want to believe it. "You kissed him on your first date! Not any girl would kiss—"

"Because you were there, right?" He stopped talking, bringing himself back to that particular day. "You always tried so hard to make sure I fell in love with Osamu, I am not that dumb. So I just want to make you happy by opening up my heart for him." The same day where he tucked his feelings away. "You are one wonderful man, you know that, Atsumu?"

The day he let you go for his twin, was the same day you let your feelings go to love another man that was not him.

"(Y/n), I—"

"So even though now I wonder about what could have been," He just felt hope a moment before. "I am glad." So why now suddenly it felt like someone just burned the bridge that would lead him to his happy ending? "I am glad that you were the last person that I spent my time talking to."

"Wait, what do you mean?" He wailed, waiting to hear for your response. "(Y/n), fuck! What did you mean by the last person?!" He screamed to his phone, begging for any kind of sign that you were there. But there was nothing, once again he was greeted by nothing but silence.

Atsumu felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed to see you, he needed to make sure that you were alright. Maybe you were just falling asleep, maybe just like what Akagi had wished, you could finally sleep after days being in such a rollercoaster of emotions.

Ten minutes. He could be there in ten minutes by foot, a lot faster compared to how he needed to prepare his car and opened up the garage. The setter didn't think twice as he wore his shoes and ran to your house. He didn't bother to lock his front door as he dashed himself to see you, mind too predominated by lots of dark scenarios.

You used to love him. He tried to hold on your words. If at one time you fell for him, then perhaps one day you could love him once again. He wanted to believe in that as he ran even faster, thanking himself for choosing to be a professional athlete that could make him have a lot of stamina.

His mind kept replaying the fact that was being poured on top of him like a bucket of ice water. Ever since he knew you, he was too busy coating his own feelings. Telling lies to himself, belittled his own mind because he didn't want to have any regret when he helped his twin to be close with you.

If only he knew, if only he looked closer to your eyes and not just focused on his twin — maybe, he would have his very own fairy tale that he always yearned to have.

He knocked haphazardly on your front door, his heart still felt so heavy as he waited for the latch to be unlocked. But even after seconds went by, even after he kept screaming out your name without a care that people would call the police, you didn't even show yourself.

"Fuck it."

When he didn't hear anything from the other side of the door, he immediately spun his brain, searching around the terrace since he knew you had a habit to save a duplicate key somewhere — a habit that your ex-fiancé once told him.

Atsumu let out a smile of relief when he saw the silver key tugged on one of the potted plants. And without wasting another time, he immediately turned the key, eyes scanning the whole ground floor in case you were there, maybe falling asleep somewhere.

But there was no sign of you, not even in the bedroom of yours. Your room was clean, nothing but a bed, some books, and photographs. It was as if you never lived here with how the room looked like what people could find in a design magazine.

Everything was too neat like you have been gone for a long time. And he was ultimately afraid that you were not here to begin with.

Then his mind replayed the phone call from before; every sound that you made, the calm voice of yours, each of the syllables that came out from your lips, he tried to remember all of that. Splash of water. He heard it in the first minutes, and it was enough for him to take another step in this mission to find you.

He braced himself as he walked closer to the master bathroom that was connected without any door. Atsumu was ready to hear you scream, maybe throwing some of the shampoo bottles in his direction — he was okay with that, because at least, at least you were fine.

The bathroom was the same, so clean that no one could find any unusual things. Though his eyes were sharp enough to see the two bottles of sleeping pills on the sink. He took it to his hand, and he swallowed a huge lump when he saw the condition. All were opened, all were emptied.

He immediately jerked his head to the bathtub that was filled to the brim. The colour was milky white, and the surface was scarily stagnant. No. It can't be. He was scared to take another step forward. No, no, no. Because now as he was standing right beside the tub,

His orbs could catch the silhouette of a human body, one that was perfectly — still.

"No," He hiccuped as he could only feel dread. In a swift moment, he jumped himself to the enormous tub, trying to find where your head positioned with how blurred the water was. "Please, please." And he gasped when he could finally see your face.

You looked so glorious, that if you were a heroine in some kind of fantasy book, he was sure that you would become more than just a princess. Even with your hair sticking all over your face, even with how your lips slowly turned to blue, you still looked the same through his eyes.

Perfection, the only person that could make his life complete.

Atsumu cradled you, pulling your now cold body on his embrace in case he could hear your heart beats. But there was nothing. In this space he was in, the only thing that could be heard was the prickling waters and his own misery.

When he imagined himself to have you in his arms, this was not the scenario that he ever had in mind. He wanted to hold you close for a thousand times, he wanted to be the one that could make you feel better when you were feeling down. Maybe he was already like that, but it was not enough.

With trembling hands, his finger swept your hair gently, tucking the strand of it at the back of your ear. He eyed your expression as you fell asleep, and he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle that filled with bitterness and anguish.

"Can you hear me? Hey, (Y/n)?" His voice cracked, vision blurred with his own tears as he shook your body. "(Y/n), please, y-you haven't heard it, please." He swallowed a huge lump, biting his own lips as he was still clinging to some miracle that could happen.

"I love you." So fucking much. "Can't you hear me? I love you! I love you, (Y/n) why didn't you wait for me?!"

His finger pinched your cheek, it was the fastest way to wake you up when you fell asleep on their practice all those years ago. He needed to see your orbs, he needed to see how your lashes fluttered open the second he woke you up, just like usual. One more time, he needed to see it just one more time.

"Hey, wake up. I promise I am not going to leave. I will always be here, I'm always here."

But your eyes still closed, and he shouldn't have expected a miracle when he knew there was not any.

"I am sorry. I am sorry."

And Miya Atsumu should have known better, that there was no such thing as happily ever after in this real world.

Tagged Lovelies:

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#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu angst #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu angst #miya osamu imagine #miya osamu scenario #haikyuu miya osamu #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu angst #miya atsumu imagine #miya atsumu scenario

[eliza-makepeace]

my idea for episode IX

yes, it’s me again. in march, isolated and bored out of my mind. and still bitter about tros. i’ve had this in my mind for a while, and since more than three months afterwards i’m still pissed off for what could have been, i’m going to at least share what i thought would happen.

my idea was that anakin did kill palpatine in rotj. i know we all had that idea clear, except jj for some reason (or maybe not, bc they’re changing the shit story everyday, so who knows what they’ll say afterwards). but the threat of palpatine’s return was very much real, and kylo since he found out snoke was controlled by palpatine, wanted to know more. 

he was lured to where palpatine resided, which was a place inbetween the world of the living and whatever void which is not the real great beyond the sith inhabit. I know technically sith die and that’s it, but i haven’t figured out how palpatine didn’t just die (not to worry, i’ll publish a novelization in a month and everything will be explained). 

aaanyway.

palpatine managed to convince him to bring him back to the world of the living, bc if he did that, palpatine promised him to give him all the sith powers that kylo, being a fucking mess, had never adquired. kylo wondered how the hell was he going to bring him back, and why not somebody else, and palpatine replied, very matter-of-factly, as he usually does, that since it was a skywalker who brought him to this situation, only another skywalker could bring him back. (bringing him back via blood or whatever). he does and chaos ensues. 

at this point, i’m not entirely sure what to do with leia, bc i have to admit they did the best they could in tros with what they had, and i really love carrie so i don’t want to make up a death that’s not enough. the point is, the only ones who could theorically send palpatine back are luke and leia, but since both died, and i’m sorry dlf, but force ghosts cannot affect the physical world. so people freak out, bc they know this is a fucking lost war. they know palpatine and kylo have already won.

AND THEN, comes rey. rey, the nobody. rey, the scavenger from jakku. rey, finn and poe have been running around the galaxy for the last year, being super best friends and supporting each other like the found siblings they are (except finn and poe bc they’re in love with each other, or finn and rey, i don’t mind which, but one of these has to be canon in my goddamn star wars). leia found out finn was force sensitive, and so he and rey have been training together. they’re the new and less messed-up version of anakin and obi-wan. they’re the new duo.

but now everything’s a mess, they’ve lost and palpatine’s back and no one can take him back to sith hell. and then, luke shows up. he and rey talk, and he admits that she’s not who she thinks she is, and much less who kylo told her she was. he admits that he was terrible with her and that it just came from being too afraid of losing her again. rey asks “again?” and luke admits that she’s his daughter, and that since his wife died when kylo became a school shooter and she disappeared, he was in too much pain. and when he saw her again, he was so afraid of losing her like he thought he did for many years and he was only trying to protect her, but now he realises it wasn’t the way to go about it. “i’ve talked to my father about it”, he says and rey frowns her eyebrow, “your father?”.

and then, anakin skywalker, in full force ghost glory, shows up, looking fabulous af. rey’s having an identity crisis, bc it’s great that now she knows where she comes from, but kyle being her cousin isn’t the best news, and darth vader being her grandfather isn’t super cool either. anakin and her have a super nice talk, where he tells her that she shouldn’t fear her blood. “why not? ben shares my blood and look where that took him”. anakin responds “ben’s blood wasn’t what’s made him who he is now, rey. it was his own choice. you are who you make yourself to be, like i did. but you have a strength not me or ben had. you have your father’s strength, and your grandmother’s before him.”

she casually hears anakin and luke commenting on how “she looks just like her”.

and so, now, rey knows she’s the only one who can bring palpatine down, and with her father and grandfather by her side she goes to face kylo and palpatine. finn and poe, as her best friends also come, poe in charge of shooting the other stormtroopers (finn can’t do it bc he knows them and it’s painful), finn charges against kyle’s praetorian guards and rey walks in, tries to talk kylo out of that and join her, one last time, but knowing he’ll never turn back she says “you were right to be afraid. you will never be as strong as anakin skywalker”. epic fight between the light and dark, between the granddaughter of anakin skywalker, and the grandson of darth vader. and, with tears in her eyes, apologizing to leia, and saying she’s sorry (but not to him bc he fucking deserves it), she kills kylo, who dies unrepentant. palpatine is sent back to the sith shithole whence he came and she goes back to naboo. 

she walks into the crypt of former queen and senator padmé amidala, buries anakin’s lightsaber there so they can share a resting place, but before that, the japor snippet padmé was parading holding back in ep. iii is now in a small box next to her coffin. rey opens it, and puts it around her neck, leaving the lightsaber there in exchange. she doesn’t know to which degree does that symbolise that it’s anakin and padmé’s love that continues, through her. 

someone finds her. they ask what she’s doing there. her answer: “just paying respects to my grandmother”. the person is confused. “your grandmother? who are you?” rey swallows bc she finally knows the answer, but takes a few second to do so. when she speaks, it feels as if the universe has finally found everlasting balance: “rey skywalker”

#anti tros #my version of episode ix #hope you enjoy it #i know i did just by writing it #i would have cried had half of this happened for real #also i love padme and they did her so fucking dirty in the new trilogy #rey skywalker #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #anti reylo #anti kylo ren #anti bendemption #padme amidala #anti disney star wars #anti sw sequels #anti tlj