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smol-warrior-1258 · 4 months

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Sooooo I was gonna hold off until the full season was done, kinda give the TV show time to play out as an adaptation instead of being distracted by the alterations being made for this version. Because alterations are okay! I think if you're going to adapt anything from one medium to another it should be to express the content in a new way based on the different limitations & possibilities of one medium vs another. You can't do PJO [the TV show] exactly as written in PJO [the books] - it doesn't work and shouldn't be the point - and I think the show is doing a great job to consciously avoid that trap. (My personal opinions on how several first-person narrated book-to-movie adaptations have fallen somewhat flat is a post for another time.)

And so, I was planning to wait. This is a franchise I hold very dear to my heart and have cared about for more than a decade, I recognize that I will be protective about how a story like this is being shown to a whole new generation and may influence them. I wanted to see how the shifted motivations, etc would progress objectively even if I couldn't see how it would get its way back to the story I know from the book. Let this new version run its course and go from there. You can absolutely shift some things and let the narrative move on a slightly different path without losing the heart of it - it's something fanfiction has really helped me embrace despite my initial impulse to bristle at changes to the stories I love.

But I just watched ep 3 and . . . I'm frustrated.

Everything just feels so shallow?

And I want to be clear: I don't mean bad acting. There are a lot of moments where I enjoy the delivery and the emotions the cast are putting out, and their portrayal is a separate thing from what they are portraying.

I am talking about the plot & the relationships & the characterizations & jfc the PACING. I don't know how to be cohesive about this because there's so many things that just make me so apprehensive about this show hitting deep enough emotionally by the end. It is so empty at the moment and I haven't been convinced that that will change as of yet.

Without further ado, an incomplete list of my thoughts thus far:

Oh uh . . . THIS IS MADE OF SPOILERS . . . so yeah

Gabe. I genuinely do not hate - or even really care enough to dislike - Gabe? What? I just. Just how? How can that even happen? This is such a distracting point because Gabe is a character that is supposed to be fundamentally irredeemable. Full stop. So plainly a nasty, abusive, toxic, utter dirtbag that Percy making the "warding-off-evil gesture" designed for monsters causes a reaction to a mortal. He is such an integral part of Percy's (let alone Sally's) character through a good chunk of the first book in particular, and even later on in PJO & HOO Let's be real here: Tartarus smells like Gabe to Percy even after years and I don't think you could get more on the nose than that. I really just don't understand how the show can drop the ball like this. I can - and might, once the season is complete - go on a whole separate rant about Gabe, but I think I've made enough of a point for now.

Let's talk about blue food. This show has done A LOT of verbal exposition all over the place. About everything. Like maybe kinda too much at times if we're being honest. So where is the explanation for the blue food? You have this poignant Thing about Percy burning the blue jelly beans as a sacrifice bc it's precious to him and yet give 0 reason why beyond the fact that his mom gave it to him? This isn't some fun easter egg for book fans to squeal over in the background bc it's a tiny fun reference you'd only notice as a reader - this is a developed plot point that (again) is recurrent throughout PJO & HOO oh and also ties back to Gabe being a dick for no reason but moving on not to mention a specific example of the bond Percy shares with his mother specifically in the abusive environment she endures to keep him safe. I would not be surprised if they do this bit of exposition later on, but the omission really made it feel hollow.

Which brings me to Sally Jackson, our queen. I like a lot about the portrayal that's been shown so far in terms of her alone, but I really didn't feel like we were given enough to show the relationship between her & Percy. This relationship is so so SO important - and I think the show recognizes that on a surface level to the point that it's altered the plot to confirm that she's not dead from the beginning and make that Percy's openly stated motivation for the quest - and yet I feel as though we've been 'told not shown' that fact? Sally is actively present for such a short amount of time to begin with and it's therefore even more important that her significance to Percy is given sufficient weight for the audience to buy in quickly.

Something that threw me off right from the beginning was the pacing. I think I actually did a sort of shocked double take after Mrs. Dodds went down because it's, presumably, the crux of that episode and yet was a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of scene. Then again with the toilet scene! There was no real build up or follow up; it just kinda happened? It's like all the important pieces are there but nothing is being given the space it really needs, no room to breathe, no time to let the audience be drawn in to the story & it's characters. Emotional/plot beats go by so fast you hardly have time to absorb them while other scenes are longer but still empty. Percy's introduction to the Hermes cabin & the montage (which was very fun btw) of him during capture the flag come to mind in that regard. Scenes where you have time to take it in but there's not much there to take. I don't really know what to do with that I guess? It makes it hard to judge what I'm supposed to find important and that throws me off.

Maybe this is kinda still pacing, but I feel like many of the opportunities for suspense/surprise/tension have been totally missed (if not outright sabotaged). There are instances earlier, but I am still reeling from the Aunty Em scenes. I'm trying not to be stuck on "in the book" rhetoric because that's a different beast, but I really have a hard time understanding the benefit to altering the reveal in that way. Same thing with the formal announcement that Sally was not killed - Percy barely has time to grieve before being told she's alive, and any suspense that might have built by Percy mulling over her fate is ruined. Other scenes, like the Furies on the bus, feel like they have no stakes because they're dispatched so quickly. (Okay yeah this is clearly still tied to the pacing lol). There are smaller moments where I also felt the 'told not shown' rearing it's head. Places where they say something is important but don't show anything to back that up. It's like despite all the stuff about how their quest is dangerous and how dire the circumstances are, there's no actual evidence that that's true? They're in a cab and then the bus and then strolling through the woods and then killing Medusa - all with no visible damage or noticeable repercussions to them. I just haven't felt any payoff from their successes because their successes aren't made to look like actual accomplishments.

Look. This isn't the movies. I saw The Lightning Thief [movie] in theatres (quite possibly on opening weekend) and went from exhilarated anticipation going in to actually literally ranting with my friend on the way out. Those movies were barely based on the source material and that is infuriating as a fan of such a quality series. The main frustration there *was* that MANY significant things were missing and/or different from the book not to mention the flagrant disregard for the basic plot. That's not what's going on here, at least not for me.

This is disappointing in a different way because I'm (mostly) able to step back from the fact that certain moments in the book aren't being show here (looking at you, hacky sack scene) or are being adjusted for this newer version; there are elements I'm definitely enjoying for themselves, and I can see potential in some of the changes long term. I'm going to watch through because I am willing to put some faith in a wonderful cast and Uncle Rick that this will come to a place that does the story justice.

But at the moment? I'm just not there yet.

#pjo #pjo tv adaptation #pjo series #smelly gabe? who's that?#truly didn't realize how many feelings i had about gabe's role in the story #i s2fg if that turns out to be blackjack i'll riot #shout out to the flying shoe design #can't wait to see the cosplay for those #pjo 1x01 #pjo 1x02 #pjo 1x03 #spoilers #pjo spoilers #though really they're mostly meta textual spoilers #bolo for future similar posts re this show #cuz i'm having a lot of Thoughts

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reehlia · 3 years

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OMG OMG OMG!!! FINALLY!!! MY FIRST OFFICIAL 5 STARS CHARACTER AND IT’S ZHONGLI!!!! Been playing the game not so long but I have been saving for him since day 1!! I’m so glad I skipped Tartaglia! OMG 😭 My prayers have been answered!! Pulling 80 single pulls was such a nightmare and I was scared because it was a 50/50 BUT THE GEO ARCHON HAS COME AND SAVED ME!! Saving up all those cor lapis wasn’t for nothing (˘̩̩̩‿˘̩̩̩๑)❤︎

#personal post #mypost #when I got him I think I almost cried! Was on the couch and just fell on the floor on my knees when I saw the man himself #I gave all of primos for Geo man but it was worth it #but #I have to give up on the new Inazuma character that’s gonna come out #I really liked him a lot I want him sooooo bad but sacrifices have to be made #I’ll just have to wait for the rerun #The GOD himself is my first character to come home omg #he is so pretty NO no not pretty BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS HANDSOME #he is gonna be a big help to my team

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polyghostfacehours · 3 years

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sooooo if you’re doing ANY scream character, maybe some sfw AND nsfw for tatum 👀

YES YES YES. God I am so down for these. I have so many thoughts on my wife Tatum like holy shit.

Tatum General Headcanons:

SFW:

Tatum is not a movie snob. She'll watch anything and everything, and enjoys most genres. Honestly, she's kind of a movie buff.

I hc Tatum as Bisexual.

Her favorite fashion period is the 70's. She loves how bold people were with colors, and tries to replicate it in her own attire.

One of the things she and Stu bonded over was their mutual like for fashion.

Tatum's favorite ice cream flavor is Rocky Road, but if she had lived to 1997 she would've loved Ben and Jerry's Phish Food 🤟😔

Honestly, Tatum knew she was the rebound for Stu after Casey, but she didn't care. She was lonely and Sidney started dating Billy and she knew Stu anyways and he was hot and she liked tall guys and fuck it Sidney is dating Bil-

Haha so yeah, honestly I hc Tatum as absolutely head over heels for Sidney. I also feel like Tatum is the only one out of the group that doesn't have some sort of degree of internalized homophobia.

Tatum's confidence is immeasurable and rivals Billy's.

Speaking of Billy, Tatum never liked him much. She never liked "bad boys" and hated how perfect he became for Sidney. Like, something was definitely up. He had to have a flaw.

During girl talk, Tatum wanted to bash he head in every time Sid talked about how Billy went down on her. Because fuck Billy man. And not in the good way.

Honestly, I could see Tatum being into facial hair on guys and even preferring it.

She was the one who came up with Dewey's nickname!

Dewey is her ride or die. She would sacrifice anyone, even Sidney for him. Their sibling bond looks strained on the outside, but on the inside, she's killed for her brother.

If Tatum would've been alive, I could see her becoming either a fashion designer or a pediatrician.

I HC that Tatum loves kids! And she's really good with them too. She babysits a lot for the town of Woodsboro and parents adore her.

That being said, if she can take the easy way out with babysitting, she will lol. And she can be a bit neglectful when she gets distracted by a movie or magazine.

Honestly, she ended up caring a lot for Stu and having very strong feelings for him. Could see herself getting over Sidney with him. One of the last things she thought of before dying besides her family and Sid was how she hoped Stu would be okay and not get hurt.

Tatum does gossip a lot tbh, but she was ahead of her time in terms of women supporting women. She slut-shamed when she was younger, but as she matured she obtained a very "live and let live" attitude towards other girls.

Tatum's favorite color is actually blue! But she feels she looks best in yellows, reds, and oranges, so she tends to wear those instead.

She's incredibly good at make-up, and if it was modern times I could see her becoming a make-up guru Youtuber (and then leaving bc fuck how drama filled and toxic it is. She then becomes a gaming streamer and realizes she actually really enjoys them)

NSFW:

Tatum is a bit of a pillow princess tbh.

You'd think she'd be large and in charge in the bedroom bc of her attitude, but she actually loves being pampered.

That being said, she sucks dick like a dream. Like holy shit. She could actually suck a watermelon through a straw.

Tatum has incredibly sensitive nipples. Like one of her most favorite things in the bedroom is nipple play.

Honestly, though they did like each other, the main foundation of her and Stu's relationship was sex. They fucked like rabbits tbh.

She's a large part of why Stu is so good at pussy eating tbh. He used to be just okay at it until she instructed him.

They never EVER talk about this, but one time while they were both drunk, she sucked Randy off at the back of a Seven Eleven.

If you bought her a sybian, she would never leave her room again.

She has a very "ideal" body. Conventionally desirable in all the right ways. And she's very proud of it tbh.

Tatum is one of the few lucky ass women who can orgasm from penetration alone. This is partly because of the way her body just is and partly because sex is super mental for her, and if she can imagine something it can get her off like crazy.

#tatum riley #scream 1996 #stutam #Tatney

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mmikmmik2 · 3 years

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If you were to sort the Infinity Train cast(s) into the Major Arcana a la the Persona games, which Arcana would you give everyone?

anon I had SOOOOO much fun thinking about this, thank you so much for sending me this. I sorted all the major characters, plus a few other entries, based on a mix of Arcana symbolism, Persona series character archetypes, and general vibes. I came up with answers I feel pretty good about for all but four of the Arcana. (Was really tempted to say Strength is every human character who doesn't board the train because they can handle their problems on their own lol.) This is going to be a long-winded post, so I thought I’d post just the list as an image (which hopefully won’t be too blurry!) rather than wrestle with Tumblr formatting trying to make a short list, and put a big text wall under the readmore talking more about my picks.

If this list does end up illegible, the same info is under the readmore as text! Plus some characters for Magician, Strength, Justice, and Death that I didn’t want to add to the “official” list because they’re more based on headcanon. (Although my reasoning for some of the “official” picks is pretty weak lol.)

One-One as 0. The Fool

Oh my gosh, what am I?

IT is great at fleshing out character backstories and families, so One-One at the beginning of S1 is one of the few characters who really feels like a blank slate. He's got a lot of his baggage back by the end of the season, and I think One and One-One are more similar than they seem at first glance, but S1 does seem to have been very formative for One-One and how he thinks about what he's supposed to be doing and how he relates to other people. So it does kind of feel like his fool's journey.

Alrick Timmens as I. The Magician

The magician begins the journey... by beefing it on a dirt bike, dying, and sending his wife flying off the deep end. Rip.

Alrick was an engineer like Amelia, so I could see him suiting some of the themes of the Magician, like conscious thought and manifesting ideas. His apparent playfulness and insecurity are similar to the Magician characters in Persona.

Kez as II. The High Priestess

“We can’t make this decision for you, Kez.” “You know what to do.”

I thought really hard about making Kez the Magician because just like every Magician since Persona 3, she's dumb, horny, and insecure dlkjasfdkl

(and also her showing up at the start of the story arc and being helpful but also super needy is very Magician)

But the idea of "intuition" really does suit Kez. Sometimes her intuition is as bad as her conscious reasoning, but I think that's a lot because she's so confused about what happened with Jeremy, and Morgan making Kez feel like she did a bad thing by helping him.

Tuba as III. The Empress

She made me feel like I was warm all the time.

Tuba's a mom. Sorry, this one's not that deep, haha.

Simon Laurent as IV. The Emperor

Highest number! I'm the leader now.

Simon has a lot of issues, but the one that felt the most prominent to me was his unhealthy relationship with power, authority, dominance, and rules. Another quote I considered using here was what he said in Grace's memory of meeting Amelia: "I never thought I'd get to see the Conductor with my own eyes. He's perfect! Everything finally makes sense again." In his emotional crisis, he thought everything could be fixed just by the existence of a huge, scary, powerful, male authority figure, even if they weren't doing anything helpful or informative.

Atticus as V. The Hierophant

I like to think that our stones are sturdy and handsome, like the Corgis that crafted them.

Atticus is a figure of traditional authority who deeply loves the history, society, and culture of his people. He often provides spiritual wisdom and encourages Tulip to get out of her own head and engage with the world around her. Also in Persona, Hiero is the Dad Arcana so it's very funny to me (a) to make the little dog be Hiero and (b) that the little dog really does have the strongest Wholesome Dad Energy of the whole cast.

Jesse Cosay as VI. The Lovers

Don't tell me what to do. I'm not going to be a part of anything like this, on or off the train.

This was my first and easiest pick lol, Jesse is sooooo Lovers. Like, the focus on choice and personal values and relationships? Yep, that's Jesse. It works on an "actual meaning of the Arcana" level and a "vibes with the Persona characters" level lol... popular, upbeat, and having such an identity crisis.

Lake as VII. The Chariot

I'm my own person, who is getting off this train!

I don't know if Chariot captures all the ways Lake grew over the course of S2, but I feel like they had the most externally focused conflict of all the IT characters, which suits Chariot. They've been fighting to stake out their personhood from start to finish, and they took action and used their willpower to achieve that goal. Also they have at least a little jock energy which is a prereq for Chariot tbh.

Frank as VIII. Strength

I dunno, I kinda imagine him as a simple man and easily underestimated, but with a lot of heart. The Cat may say they're keeping things casual but I don't think she'd take him with her on her private vacation unless he had some kind of inner toughness that would let him stand toe-to-toe with her.

Morgan as IX. The Hermit

I need to be alone right now. Kez... maybe... we can talk later.

I like that Morgan embodies toxic self-isolation and stonewalling and rejection, but that she seems to be moving towards the positive aspects of Hermit and taking some time to calm down and process and think. I like it when characters can embody the best and worst of their Arcana.

Tulip Olsen as X. The Wheel of Fortune

We have to adapt to the changes in our lives. It's the only way things can get better.

Tulip has a lot of themes and conflicts, but this one is a clear standout as the most important. I also like it for Tulip because, while she has to handle a lot of difficult and even traumatic situations, some of the change that challenges her isn't as unambiguously bad as e.g. the death of a loved one. It really is just change itself she's struggling with, and that's Fortune babey. Also, from the perspective of the train itself and lots of other characters, by reversing Amelia and One-One's positions again and changing how One-One administrates the train, Tulip is the one giving the wheel a spin. That's fun.

Lucy as XI. Justice

One of my friends once described the Justice characters in Persona as "the ones the player character is ultimately accountable towards", and I like to think of Lucy as kind of being that for Grace (...since Hazel has excused herself). Lucy is the Apex kid we see Grace interact with the most, the first Apex kid Grace admitted to herself that she had harmed (see Grace very briefly showing distress and then regret when Jesse points the harpoons at his face and she stops him), and the first person to confront Grace when she came home in The New Apex.

Min-Gi Park as XII. The Hanged Man

I don't know if we'll sell a single album, but we'll figure that out as we go.

Min-Gi sacrifices his "realistic", "sensible" goals for a more personally (spiritually, even?) enriching life that's beyond his control and outside of the expected norm. Like the Hanged Man, who dangles foolishly upside-down, but as a deliberate choice and in a state of serenity and enlightenment. I also think this arcana suits a reading of Min-Gi's character development as starting off going slower as a way to stall and live in denial, but then going slower with deliberation. Compare his arrogant insistence on refusing to act in The Astro Queue Car to his patience and care in The Castle Car and The Train to Nowhere.

Jeremy as XIII. Death

This isn't about the death of his family - I'm thinking of his reluctance to admit his number was going down. He cared about Morgan and Kez, and it's possible both that he may have really wanted to stay with them despite his exit and that that might even have been a healthy choice - they're real ass people with feelings and everything, not holodeck characters. But I also think Jeremy was using his life with them to avoid moving on out of that fog (because it was hard and it hurt and he didn't want to think about what that would mean for him and Morgan) and Morgan was enabling him.

Ryan Akagi as XIV. Temperance

Maybe the experience is the point. I wasn't just rushing you. I was rushing myself.

I think this one speaks for itself. Also, the other quote I considered putting here, from The Art Gallery Car: "You told me I can't appreciate the song without taking in the rest of the album. I need the whole package."

The Cat as XV. The Devil

I always do the right thing.

Honestly, this is one I really wasn't sure about. The Cat isn't a great pick for a lot of the meanings of Devil. She is definitely consumed by material comforts, and the short-term rewards of ignoring her issues at a long-term cost, though. This is more of a "vibes with Persona characters with this arcana" pick... Devil characters tend to start off being somewhat exploitative or even antagonistic towards the player character, and gradually showing a more conflicted and genuine side.

Amelia Hughes as XVI. The Tower

There's a hole in the universe where Alrick used to be.

Amelia's life is defined by catastrophe and upheaval - both those she's suffered and those she's inflicted on others.

Hazel as XVII. The Star

I'm going to keep loving you like you're still here.

When I think of "The Star" as a small but inextinguishable light in the darkness, Hazel seems like the obvious choice. Although we left her deeply wounded, I think she still has a flicker of her hope, faith, and purpose.

Grace Monroe as XVIII. The Moon

But it's unfair for me to tell you how to understand yourself. I mean, I don't even fully understand me.

Grace is probably the most complex and dynamic character on the show and hence one of the most difficult to place. I considered Empress, Strength, Devil, and Judgement for her... I think ultimately, lies and illusions are the most unifying theme of her character arc. Also, from a Persona angle, her pursuit of status out of a lack of true self-worth reminds me of Ai and Mishima.

Alan Dracula as XIX. The Sun

Brought together by the majesty of a superpowered deer!

I'm sorry dkjasfklads this is largely because I thought it was funny to have this completely inexpressive dead-eyed deer as Sun akfk but also... like... it kind of works okay!!! Think about the genuine joy and comfort and positivity he brings to Lake and Jesse (and me)!

The New Apex as XX. Judgement

"Then what are we gonna be?" "Guess we'll have to figure it out?"

This is kind of a Persona mythology gag again because of Judgement being a group social link near the end of the narratives of P3 and P4, when the protagonists have pierced through the lies and actually figured out who the villain of their game is and are ready to really start making progress.

0 as XI. The World

Ah, train does it again!

It's an ending and the completion of a journey, but also the beginning of a new one. And the world is literally what the passengers receive at the end of their train journey. Welcome home.

#infinity train #infinity train spoilers #protagonists of IT #Anonymous

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt.7)

Well, Natsume's really in it now! Today we'll be talking about what lengths Natsume will go to in order to protect the people he loves. He's not a normal boy with a normal first crush, after all. He has no intention of wooing her or flirting. In fact, his instinct is to distance himself, and going forward we'll see that instinct is motivated by more than just a low self-esteem.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Natsume has some major character flaws. He’s kinda a jerk in general and is rude and abrasive. He’s chronically selfless and seems to be drawn to situations where he can sacrifice himself for others, which is a very unhealthy way to be. He’s also terrible at keeping his word.

Natsume only made this decision on his own, but he’s pretty bad at carrying through with it. He’s the one who told her to stay away, but Natsume will have more and more trouble staying true to such an agreement.

At first, he makes an effort: Mikan is being bullied for her stupidity and sees Natsume. He glares at her, another discouragement from coming any closer. He doesn’t argue with her or join in on the bullying.

But in no time at all, the whole class is riled up in study mode because of Mikan’s example, and for many kids in Class B, the best person to turn to for tutoring help is Natsume, who is actually quite smart when he actually does the work--though he’d prefer not to. And he does help, though not with any kind or supportive words. He’ll leave that to Mikan. Maybe to him it feels a bit like a cheat, like he can afford to give in a little bit. He later walks alongside her after an exam, like he’s part of her circle, and although he’s not really engaging with her like the rest of the kids are, it’s enough that he’s near her.

And it’s enough for the ESP and Persona to notice.

We can see the ESP looking down on them from his headquarters room, still covered in shadows to maintain his mystery, but his figure is familiar enough for a reread. Natsume has been caught and he will have to face the consequences.

Persona subs in for Makihara-sensei (and we must wonder if Makihara was really unable to proctor his exam or if he was ordered to stay away so that a point could be made to Natsume), and despite his disguise, Natsume can tell it’s him instantly. After all, he was supposed to recognize him. Natsume looks horrified.

So far, Natsume has had to more or less balance two very different parts of his life: a more light-hearted life in Class B and his life as a spy and black ops agent. They’ve been difficult to juggle because of how different they are, but they’ve been pretty separated. Here, the lines are blurring. Was there really any divide at all or was that just an illusion? Persona can invade on his happiness any time he wants, on a whim, and nobody else will notice that anything is amiss. Only Natsume will be bothered, and that’s enough.

Natsume later catches up to Persona, asking him what the hell all that was about.

Permy and his fans aren’t the only ones to notice that Natsume has been softer lately--he and the ESP have noticed as well, and he’s been ordered to put a stop to it. He mentions a “kitten of a different color” who has been of interest to the ESP too, and Natsume plays dumb, his last-ditch attempt to protect Mikan from being drawn into this.

Persona comments on the strangeness of seeing the infamous Black Cat that he trained himself, who he’s supposedly only ever seen in action, sitting and taking a test like a normal kid. He reminds him that he’s not a normal kid. There’s no point in trying so hard. He won’t make it to ever see his family again, so why even bother?

And then Persona makes a point to discourage Natsume from getting close to that “kitten of a different color”. Natsume argues that they’re the ones who made them partners in the first place! And he might as well be giving himself away. Again, Natsume seems convinced that the partners thing was a decision from pretty high up, but I don’t think it was. Here, it seems like Persona is trying to clean up the mess Narumi made before it gets too out of hand. Natsume is a perfect tool and anything messing with that is inconvenient. They can’t unmake them partners (yet) so the most they can do is threaten Natsume.

And now we can see what kind of alice Persona has. It's a real threat, killing that plant. It's a reminder to Natsume what he's capable of, that his friends and loved ones could end up just like that plant.

And so Persona does.

Natsume is anguished here, because he’s been trying his very best to avoid this situation, but he should have known that Mikan was already in the academy spotlight and his feelings would be quickly caught. It was too late from the start and he was doomed all along to add Mikan to the list of people he will do anything to protect.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The next chapter opens with Mikan being confused and hurt by Natsume’s sudden new coldness. She has no idea what’s brought this all on, but we do. Natsume has no choice now but to completely try and cut her off. It’s for her own good, after all. If he’s not careful, she could get hurt. Protecting her is worth it, even if it means he has to be even more of a villain than usual.

We don’t see a lot of Natsume in this chapter, actually, because he’s trying really hard to stick by his word this time. We see him trip up a little, staring at her in class. When she catches him, he turns away coldly, but from this we can see that Natsume really doesn’t want to be leaving her alone like this. If he had it his way, in an ideal world, he’d be much nicer to her. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t waste his time thinking about his ideals, so he keeps at it, pushing her away.

The next time we see Natsume, it’s after we’ve been thoroughly introduced to the concept of the life-shortening alice. This is one hint of many that he has such an alice, several chapters before we get a real confirmation.

The scene where Natsume struggles on a bed full of pills is perhaps more dramatic in the anime, but it’s no less potent here. It’s like a sucker punch. You don’t want it to be true. He’s ten years old, for heaven’s sake! TEN YEARS OLD! And he’s suffering, hunched over, face red, gasping for air, clutching his chest, next to the biggest bag of medicine I’ve ever seen. It’s the biggest hint we’ve gotten so far, especially in the context of Kaname’s illness.

It's heart-breaking to imagine that most of the time, Natsume is simply pretending like he's not in absolute physical agony.

Kaname stays at the hospital for long stretches of time, staying for weeks and sometimes months at a time. He’s hospitalized more than he’s able to walk around free. There’s a lot to consider when that treatment is compared to Natsume’s. Natsume is the DA favorite and is sent on many missions. His trips to the hospital are never for weeks or months at a time, not because he doesn’t need the rest, but because the school can’t stand to go so long without their prize fighter. Natsume might be in even worse condition than Kaname, but there’d be no real way to tell unless we got it from him, because he has no choice but to put up with it and pretend like he’s not living in constant agony. And on top of being terribly and terminally ill, he gets physically beaten somewhat regularly… this school beats sick children and then threatens them when they find any inkling of happiness.

There is a bittersweet tone about Kaname’s story. He’s already sick anyway but he will probably die if he keeps using his alice, but he wants to, because he wants to bring people the same happiness that making Bear brought him. It’s tragic and heart-breaking, but it’s touching too. That sweetness is missing from Natsume’s appearance. His situation feels miserable and helpless in comparison, because not only does he have no way out, but nobody even knows the extent of his struggles.

He only lets himself feel this level of pain when he’s all alone in his bedroom. He’s been having a horrible past few days, having to ignore Mikan when she’s all that’s made him happy in recent memory. All that together, and we know that this night was a rough one for him.

The next day, we see everyone saying good-bye to Kaname. Once again, Natsume is completely separated from the rest of them, all alone in the classroom, sitting and looking as miserable as one can expect. It’s strange seeing him now after we’ve seen what his nights look like and just how painful they can get.

I just want him to be okay. Why is that too much to ask?

There’s some text on his panel: “I want the future I spend with the ones I love to last just a little longer.” Yet another hint that maybe his illness is more than just that. He has very little time left, and very little time to spend with his loved ones, but even worse: he can’t even spend time with Mikan because doing so would put her in danger. Even with Youichi and Ruka the amount of time he can spend with them is limited. They have their own lives and he doesn’t want to hold them back or hint in the slightest that there’s something up with him. He doesn’t want to worry or burden them. And so he sits alone in the classroom, looking despondent and lonely.

And now we know more than ever that this was never his choice: he has to be like this.

No, he’s not the asshole he makes himself out to be, somebody who doesn’t care about others and cuts others off because he thinks himself above them. All he wants is to protect people from getting too entrenched in his dark life. Natsume being this level of a jerk is a method to protect people, a method an adult would have to take.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I’m quite relieved to have finally passed the point where the anime adapts the manga. From now on, I can focus entirely on the manga. I passed 22k words on this essay too! This whole thing will be sooooo long. I hope it’s an enjoyable read so far. It’s quite fun for me to write.

This chapter is the beginning of a long and dramatic arc. There’s been incidents of people losing their alices. The academy is withholding information about the gravity of the situation, lying that the students have not been affected so far.

But even with the little information the kids have, Class B is full of concern. Everyone is discussing these incidents, debating whether losing one’s alice would even be a bad thing. After all, they’d be able to go back home and see their families. Nonoko brings up a great point, that her alice is a part of her identity, something she loves about herself. It’s not something she’d ever willingly part with. Furthermore, she doesn’t want to leave all her friends at the academy either. Ultimately, the kids all agree that they wouldn’t want to lose their alices.

At this, Natsume stands up and leaves the room. He’s heard enough.

Natsume doesn’t just have complicated feelings about his alice--he feels hatred for it. After all, if it weren’t for his alice, he could live to a ripe old age. He could still be with his family. He could be happy, not used as a weapon by the academy to fight until he dies. He can’t relate much to the conversations about fondness for an alice. From what we can see, he’d be over the moon to be rid of it for good. This is a concept brought up now, because it will be incredibly important later on.

Not to spill about my personal life or anything, but I’m an English major (in an anglophone country so my focus is literary analysis and writing). Writing literature papers in school was a love of mine that I translated to my other interests. I’m writing what I can here about general themes and even visual parallels. I want to write as thorough an analysis as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t effectively pick apart word choices and phrases when they’re translated from another language and when so many conflicting translations may exist.

I’m saying all this as a disclaimer because I want to analyze word choice now and I am aware that this might not carry to the original Japanese or even to other versions of the English translation. (For reference, I’m using the TokyoPop versions for my analysis for the first 15 volumes and then I’ll be using whatever I get my hands on for the rest. The pics I use are from scans, but the main source I use for now is TokyoPop.)

"Nowhere!".... hmm let me read way too much into this.

Natsume leaves the room and Ruka chases after him, asking where he’s headed. Natsume responds, “Nowhere.” This might be a nothing point to make, but it stands out to me whenever I read this part. It’s a reassurance to Ruka, sure, but there seems to be more to it. On the surface, we can tell that Natsume doesn’t have a destination in mind; he just doesn’t want to be in the classroom anymore, listening to all that upsetting talk. Deeper than that, he really is heading nowhere. He’s stuck there, at the academy, unlike the rest of them who will eventually leave to go back home once they’ve graduated. Natsume will probably die at the school, trapped within its gates. He will probably never see his family again. He is, in that sense as well, going nowhere.

The rest of their conversation is just as packed with meaning. Ruka can tell something is up and he wants Natsume to talk to him, to let him in, but Natsume knows that Ruka has made a pact not to smile if he’s not smiling. So even though Ruka is asking and wants to know what’s wrong, Natsume won’t give anything away. Being miserable is one thing, but letting Ruka know that something is worse than usual would only make Ruka miserable too, and he can’t have that. The bottom of one page has him frowning, maybe steeling himself, and then at the top of the next page, he turns around with a grin to tousle Ruka’s hair.

Don't mind me. I am simply crying.

“It’s nothing,” he says with his smile, looking so gentle, and Ruka still looks concerned, but he can’t argue anymore.

In reality there’s a lot going on with Natsume. Later, when we are introduced to Tono, he mentions being concerned about Natsume’s health, having heard that he was making frequent visits to the hospital. We already know he’s sick and going on ceaseless missions, and on top of all that he has to ignore and be cruel to the girl he likes. It’s a terrible situation. But Natsume can’t tell Ruka any of this without worrying him, so instead he will keep it to himself. After all, it’s nothing that can be helped or changed. It’s something he feels he has to cope with on his own. To him, spilling his secrets would be selfish and only cause suffering.

Chapter Thirty

Iinchou has finally returned from his visit to his hometown. He’s brought gifts and anecdotes and everyone is quite happy to see him, until Iinchou attempts to use his alice and finds himself unable to.

It’s a shock to the whole class that a kid at their school has lost his alice. They had been so relieved that at least it wouldn’t affect kids like them, but now one of them is a victim too. It makes the fear much more real. If it could happen to Iinchou, it could happen to any of them.

Things get tense when Iinchou returns to class and says that this might have been the fault of a woman he encountered outside of the school, someone who was probably affiliated with Z. Everyone who was involved with saving Natsume when he was kidnapped is shocked to hear about Z again, but none more than Natsume himself. He gets up and leaves, just like he did last chapter.

He’s thinking about the proposal Reo gave, that Natsume should join Z and fight against the academy he despises. But he’s not alone with his thoughts, because Ruka followed him again, and so did Mikan this time.

She tries to ask him about Z, see if he has any more idea about what’s going on. She’s confused and he knows more than anyone what happened during that incident, but he’s refusing to acknowledge her presence, let alone answer any of her questions. He’s keeping up his charade of cruelty to keep her safe, but it’s driving Mikan crazy. She finally breaks, screaming at him that he should pay attention when people are talking to him, and further that if he has any issues with her he should just say it to her face.

Just like last chapter, we see a panel of Natsume steeling himself, ready to do the selfless thing to protect the other person. Only this time the next panel has him glaring at her, saying he doesn’t like anything about her. He hates everything about her.

Natsume has no choice but to lie all the time about how he's feeling, because everyone else must always come first.

It feels different, but in reality this is the same thing he did to Ruka last chapter. He can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s feeling upset, and he can’t be honest about his feelings when he’s actually starting to fall for a girl. He always has to hide his true feelings, repress and bury them, lie about them in order to protect everyone around him. It’s hard for him to do, but he thinks it hurts him more than it could hurt her, so he manages it.

What adds even more layers to this is that Ruka is observing the whole thing. He sees Natsume’s actions as selfless but misfires on the motive a little--but only a little.

He recalls eating strawberries with Natsume and Aoi, with Aoi cheerfully discussing her newfound love for the fruits. And so Natsume gives his to her. Aoi is surprised, because strawberries are his favorites. He responds easily, “I hate them now.”

"For you," Natsume says.

Ruka knows what kind of person Natsume is, that Natsume would reject something he loves so that his loved ones can be happy. They’re both aware that they like the same girl, and Ruka can’t help but put the math together and assume that perhaps Natsume is doing this for him, hurting himself and bringing himself pain so that Ruka can be happy and pursue a girl he has a crush on guilt-free.

He’s even more convinced of the theory with the tiny panel that reminds us of when Natsume shoved Ruka into Mikan so they could dance. Natsume loves Mikan too, but he wants Ruka to be happy, so he will give up and even ruin his own chances to help out his best friend over himself.

When I say it’s a misfire, I mean that Natsume has a lot of other things going on, including Persona and his imminent death. It’s not that he definitely isn’t doing this for Ruka, it’s just that it’s not as major a factor as other things. He’s mainly doing it because of the threats from Persona. If Ruka is involved in his thought process, it’s mainly a bonus. Ruka’s theory is definitely not unfounded; just not completely accurate.

In any case, it does add extra substance to the dynamic between the three of them, where they all walk away from the moment with completely different kinds of misery.

Before any of them can sit with their sadness, though, they receive word that an intruder from Z is at the school.

Conclusion

In this section, we explored how Natsume has no choice but to distance himself from everybody, and even how the methods he uses to distance himself look different depending on the person. Ultimately, despite the fact that he isn't the sweetest kid you'll ever meet, Natsume being cruel to this extent isn't a quirk of his personality: it's what he has to do. If he didn't have so many things being held against him, he might be much kinder to Mikan, or more honest with Ruka, but he has no choice in the matter.

In the next edition, we're getting more involved in the Z Arc and going into how come Natsume goes from telling Mikan he hates her to backing her cause and going on a dangerous mission with her.

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

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what do you think about the development of bakugou and deku’s relationship so far? or just about bakugou’s character development in general?

i’ve seen pretty mixed reactions to bakugou’s character development. there are some that are happy with it, there are some that are extremely critical, and i’ve even seen some people compare him to endeavor.

when i first started mha, i didn’t like bakugou at all, but he’s changed a lot since the first chapter. i personally like his development, but i still think that there’s quite a bit way to go. bakugou has atoned through his actions, but he has yet to verbally apologize.

(sorry if you’re not interested in this topic, i just like hearing people’s opinions on it.)

Any of the main characters I'm cool with talking about. It's the side ones I truly don't care to talk about lol.

So Bakugo---whenever I FIRST started BNHA (before Shigaraki's intro) I was super invested in seeing a friendship develop between him and Midoriya because I'm a sucker for enemies to friends. Idk why I just am. Not too long after starting it though it quickly became obvious that they'd become friends so I wasn't as invested. It was too obvious, and then at that point I had completely shifted my focus to the League. So I just kinda took whatever happened with Bakugo and was cool with it. But as far as forming an opinion on his character and everything that's happened so far, and addressing some of the stuff you said about Endeavor, yeah I have some thoughts.

I actually ranted a bit about what I think of Bakugo's arc here, and I'll just go ahead and throw in what I said since I was about to repeat myself. Also forgive my harsh words toward Bakguo he's on my list of favorites despite how many times I call him a piece of shit lmao:

To be honest Bakugo's arc is one of the best, in my opinion. It kinda hit that break through point in the war arc where he made a sacrifice for Midoriya, and now we need to see how it carries out from here.

But the thing about Bakugo is that he's supposed to be a POS. Like seriously he sucks. At first. Nobody in real life would ever put up with a person like that lol. But this is a manga where behaviors are majorly exaggerated for comedy (his explosive anger) and for dramatic effect (his anger toward Midoriya for literally no reason other than personal insecurities), and the people in BNHA-verse are willing to put up with said behavior. Anyway--the reason I think his arc was handled really well is because:

He's a POS person who was actually punished in-story over and over and over again. Rightfully so. He's an asshole who bullies Midoriya for being quirkless. And then he gets captured by a villain, which leads to a lot of city damage and him feeling humiliated because he had to be saved by--you name it--Midoriya. Then once again his pride causes him to lose the first match at UA. Then he wins the sports festival in a way he never ever wanted.* Then because of his asinine behavior at the sports festival the villains genuinely think he's better off with them because it seems like he's being held back by society (he was in chains after all--big yike) and he gets kidnapped. Him getting kidnapped leads to All Might retiring while trying to save him. Then he fails the licensing exam and falls behind his other classmates. He finally starts to show some progress and stops getting punished by the story right around the second Deku vs. Kacchaan fight. That's when he starts actually improving. Somewhat.

*So about the Bakugo being compared to Endeavor--I've seen two attitudes toward it. Some people think it's a horrible comparison and gross and just whatever. And other people, like myself, see that comparison as quite fair, and deliberate on the author's part.

It doesn't take much reading comprehension to see that Bakugo is desperately in need of a change, because he's at risk of becoming--well--bad.

But the thing is, he was never EVER at risk of becoming a villain. That was never going to be an issue. He was at risk of becoming a much worse person and embodying more and more of Endeavor's negative qualities. Bakugo wants to be number 1. He wants to be number 1 for the wrong reasons. This is not up for debate. Citing what I said above--he was willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win matches at school not for the sake of being a better hero, but for the sake of making him feel better about himself. It's an insecurity thing, and he needed to work on it. And he has. But before he progressed at all--he had to face narrative punishment over and over again.

Bakugo and Endeavor are similar on purpose and they're compared in-story for a reason. People can separate Endeavor from the rest of the narrative all they want but he's a character just like everyone else, and there are intentional parallels and foils in place for him. Similarities between the two:

They both want to be number 1--for the wrong reasons.

They want to go about it the wrong way. Endeavor using his children to live vicariously through, Bakugo trying to get rid of Midoriya by bullying him into not applying to UA because he feels threatened by him. Bakugo continuing to go after Midoriya for his own personal reasons, when it doesn't benefit his development as a hero.

They physically and emotionally hurt others for their ambitions. And look, I'm not putting bullying on the level of abuse by any means. But they both hurt others for their own selfish reasons. They do, and that's a similarity between the two.

They want to feel better about themselves and so they don't want their egos hurt. As it was pointed out to me today by the genius @redphlox, while we were floating in a river in Somewhere, Texas--they were both granted top positions in a way that hurt their egos. Bakugo at the sports festival, Endeavor with the hero billboard charts.

Where there are similarities, there are also differences. Bakugo learned from his punishments. He gradually changed and made progress and improved as a person. Kind of. He's still an asshole but as stated above he had a huge turning point in the war arc when he went all sacrificial on us*. I'm hoping that we'll see him start viewing the villains differently now that he's back in the picture and it's bound to be a topic of discussion with Midoriya. I don't know what Bakugo's end game is but I think we're gonna see him grow more empathic as time goes on.

*Another prediction planted in my head by @/redphlox is that Bakugo getting skewered to save Midoriya might mirror the same way Endeavor sacrifices himself to save his son. Again, I don't think he'll die but I think we'll get a "GASP WILL HE DIE??" moment.

Sooooo yeah I'm pretty cool with Bakugo's character arc so far. It all depends on how it plays out from here. I think we'll see a lot of him and Midoriya working together. I think he'll help save Shigaraki's body, while Midoriya saves his heart and soul. I think it'll be a team effort between the two to get the job done. And I think he'll be a great member of the main group in the final battle. I'm excited to see how he's used in the story from here on out.

#bnha #bnha meta #i guess #bakugo katsuki #kachaan #dynamight #boku no hero academia #bnha asks #anonymous #character analysis #midoriya izuku #deku

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dionysianfreak · 3 years

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Hi, I hope you're having a good evening! What's your relationship with all your deities like?

hi !! thank you 🥺 you too. haha what a loaded question ! not for content, just because my relationships are sooooo diverse. I think every relationship I've had with a Deity has been unique, and I've had a lot of different worship and work relationships. I'll try and be brief since there's so many 😭🖐️

my relationship with Dionysos is home. I felt very lost and alone before He showed me His presence and began to actively guide me. I feel very loved by Him in every way, and I adore Him more than I've ever loved anything before. no matter what happens in my life or path, He's been there to help me up when I crash and burn. He's consistently involved in all my work with other Deities and is the first I go to for advice or aid. I do my best to live in His image/teachings, agape forevermore.

my relationship with Aphrodite is comfort and pain. much of my trauma and moments of crisis have been caused by things She rules, and thus our relationship is built on my strength to overcome such traumas and pains. She has been right by my side during my darkest moments and my happiest, and I celebrate my second chance at life with Her. She takes on both a motherly role as well as something I can't quite describe. an overall encourager and role model who just wants me to be as happy as I possibly can. if my life was a cake, Dionysos would be the cake base and Aphrodite would be the icing and decor.

my relationship with Hermès is like highschool. Hermès is a senior, funny and loved by students and teachers alike while I am a scawny little freshman who has no friends. He's the one who includes me when no one else will, the one who sits with me when I'm alone at lunch, who picks me first to be on His team during PE class. we're not very close, but when we're together I feel I can win the olympics.

my relationship with Hekate Brimô is feral and animalistic. I worship Brimô to protect my home from negative things and spells against me. it's a mutual understanding of our individual wants, beneficial for us both but mainly in individual ways. like She only fulfills what I request of Her because She admires my lack of fear towards contacting Her. I have a very deep respect for Her, and She loves the attention in my unique way. plus, I find She deeply enjoys being rewarded for being free fo hunt and destroy negative things mercilessly. like being rewarded a piece of candy for eating a piece of candy.

my relationship with Hekate in general is calm but thunderous. She encourages me to push past all expectations and to refuse to give into my own thoughts. She's like a queen who took me, a commoner, in as a pupil. things are very neutral, She does not sacrifice things for me but She does not always refuse me. equivalent exchange and my deep respect for Her are very important concepts between us. especially since I worship Brimô to protect me, I think I intrigue Her mainly. my worship and practice are unique to me and a little unorthodox in many ways, and I find She enjoys it. where's the fun in being like anyone else, hmm ?

my relationship with Pan is much like what others experience with Dionysos. crazy, fun, and "FUCK IT". whenever the Gods tell me something is a bad idea, Pan is there to tell me yolo. we only really get together when it's time to make a Bad Decision ™ and ride out the consequences together. Pan encompasses all that is wild and free in my life, and really only takes interest in those moments.

my relationship with Ariadne and Pasithea is one of acknowledgement. since I'm so close with Dionysos, I honor Them to include those He loves in our relationship. especially with Ariadne, we don't communicate much or anything but there's a strong mutual respect between us for our love for Him. I respect Her love and connection with Him very much, and She respects how important Dionysos is to me and my life. I just like to include Them, as His wife and daughter.

my relationship with Selene and Helios is new, but burns bright. so far, it's like your favorite older cousins who help you with shit you don't understand but also are so cool and you admire them so much. Selene and Helios are helping very much with many chaotic things right now, so this description is still a work in progress haha !

#ask #anonymous #dionysos #dionysus #aphrodite #pan #hekate #ariadne #pasithea #selene #helios #hermes

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alotsgonnachange · 3 years

Text

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

#Saeran Choi #Saeran AE #Saeran after ending #Saeran AE spoilers #Mystic messenger #Mysme #Saeran after ending spoilers #mystic messenger spoilers

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excitedlysuffering · 4 years

Text

Quarantine Headcanons: Akatsuki Edition

I didn’t add Zetsu and Tobi cuz I don’t really know much about them🥴 anyways hope you enjoy this midnight post❤️

Pein~

• Oh, he’s ready to cry

• Even though he’s always holed up in his office anyways, all the members of his organization are not usually under the same roof

• After three days he’s seriously contemplating killing the whole group and starting fresh with a less chaotic group

• Thank Jashin for Konan

• He gets his work done a lot sooner since he has no meetings or missions to distract him

• Probably ends up with a few new piercings just cuz he’s that bored

• He loses count how many times he redoes his nails, just for some sort of stimulation

• Not like any disease could kill him so what’s the point of this again??

• Overall, his coping skills are practically non-existent

Konan~

• She’s not overly upset

• She knows how to avoid the stifling testosterone and put an end to conflict

• She bakes a lot at first to pass the time and learn something new

• That only lasts a little over a week before she gets bored (much to everyone’s dismay)

• Does TONS of origami

• Takes the time to learn extremely advanced designs she’d always been too busy for

• A lot of time spent with relaxing with Pein

• She kinda gives up on her nails for the time being

• No one’s going to marvel at them before they die, so what’s the point?

• She is okay with the quarantine but does struggle a little

Itachi~

• He’s worried

• He already has a respiratory disease, he does not need another one

• He plans on dying because of Sasuke, not some hyped up flu

• Is extremely careful

• Masks, gloves, sanitizer, and Lysol everywhere

• Germaphobe™

• If he can, he’ll stay in his room as much as possible

• That one stickler that is like “dId YoU wAsH yOuR hAnDs?”

• He’s usually so calm and collected, but he turns into a frantic hoarder

• Food, toilet paper, and everything he could need all in his room

• Did someone just cough twice?

• That person wakes up in an isolated room where they are locked in for 72 hrs

• His nails go to crap cause he bites them incessantly nowadays

• Poor Itachi is just miserable the whole time

Kisame~

• He has a healthy level of fear

• He’s not going to town every day and exposing himself to it, but he won’t stay completely isolated like his partner

• Really doesn’t care for everyone’s over the top reactions

• He realllyyyy hates being surrounded by all the conflicts amongst the team

• He def misses Itachi since his partner is literally avoiding everything that breathes

• Has to sneak to feed Samehada using his team’s chakra

• Spends a lot of time at the nearby lake since his spot is open

• Kinda confused what the hype is about

• ‘Most people don’t die, get over it’ type of attitude

• He won’t care and no one can make him care

• Okay, but he’s half-shark are human diseases really a problem for him?

• Kisame is chill is nails stay impeccable

• He’s doing alright

Kakuzu~

• Oh, he’s pissed

• He can’t go on missions and he can’t earn money

• Plus, his dramatic teammates destroying things costing him extra money

• Definitely has a few of Hidan’s body parts laying around

• “If you leave me alone you can have them back”

• At first, he’s okay

• He counts his money all day in self-isolation

• But except for losing money, his finances are stagnant

• He actually gets BORED of counting money. Quarantine is that bad

• He fights Hidan a lot so he can have something to do

• Lots of decapitation

• He makes someone else do his nails he has no patience left

• He copes better than most, but still has a bit of a hard time

Hidan~

• This annoying mofo

• He’s excited

• Spends sooooo much time praying to Jashin

• He tries so hard to convert the others that as soon as they see him they hide

• It only took two days for him to realize it’ll be harder to find sacrifices

• Definitely tries to sacrifice Deidara

• “C’mon, gender-bend, don’t you want to finally be useful?!”

•’He’s not so excited anymore after about a week

• Is more irritable and confrontational

• Being stuck in close confines with someone who likes to decapitate you for weeks tends to do that to a person

• This masochistic boi. He really exposes himself to it

• Wants to feel the pAiN

• This time Itachi cuts him up (full hazmat suit donned ofc)

• He ends up locking himself in his room

• Spends A LOT of time with Jashin because he knows he’s going crazy

• A stir-crazy Hidan is a more dangerous than usual Hidan

• He honestly has whole conversations with EACH INDIVIDUAL NAIL as he paints them

•He is 100% suffering the whole time

Sasori~

• “Wait, we’ve been under quarantine for a week?”

• Sasori is always self quarantined in his room working on puppets and avoiding the idiots he surrounded with

• He’s happy at first

• He literally doesn’t have to leave his room for anything

• That turns to dread real quick

• Deidara gets bored very easily and there are holes in his bedroom walls and destroyed puppets to prove it

• A little bit of poison puts an end to that problem

• No one really sees much of him during the quarantine

• “Hey… I haven’t seen Sasori in like a month. Is he even alive??”

• You know he collects bodies of the shinobi that died for new puppets

• He’s not scared in the slightest

• He doesn’t have a respiratory system so no worries there

• His nails are probably a new color everyday despite the fact that no one ever sees them

• Oh Sasori is thriving and surviving like nobodies businessss

Deidara~

• Ha! qUaRaNtInE!

• If Deidara wants to leave the base, you’d best believe he will leave the base sauntering out like a true diva

• No one wants to stop him tho

• Deidara doesn’t give two flying fricks if he’s inside or not, he will make ART

• Oh he’s extra chaotic

• Pranks 24/7

• Almost scares Itachi to death waltzing into his room coughing like he’s about to die

• Sasori realizes his puppets are going missing one by one and his poison is… juice?

• Deidara goes missing too

• Pein literally makes him leave for a week

• He destroyed a city so he’s back now

• He literally doesn’t care

• He’s a teen, no flu will kill him

• Goes out of his way to cause trouble

• Until he sees how actually panicked some of his teammates are

• He actually helps out, buying supplies and running a few errands here and there

• Actually takes time to decorate his nails. Explosions painted on and everything

• He’s two steps away from a bedazzled straight jacket and a padded room by the time this is over

#akatsuki #deidara #sasori #pein #konan #hidan #kakuzu #itachi #kisame #quarantine #headcanon #naruto scenarios

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honeycashmere · 4 years

Text

Love On The Brain

Warnings: Smut, face fucking, a little rough, angsty, a little possessive side to Chris

Summary: You ever been in a relationship where both you and your boyfriend have an attitude but love each other like crazy and sort of break up almost all the time only to make up all the time with some freaky sex? Yeah me too. Chris breaks up with unnamed ofc, a young feisty women. Her mind debates as she thinks of the time she was better on her own. After a stormy confrontation at her house she realizes a couple things...

Note: I posted this on my AO3 acct (@ goodonesgo) on August 14, 2017

It has been eight months since Chris broke up with me and within those eight months I found out, he began dating some no-name actress he was working with. He said it was because I was “too busy” and that going the distance would be “too hard right now” … Really? Real love is about sacrifices. I had to stand my ground which I’m sure no one he’s ever dated has done. I had to stand up for myself but I slightly bashed him in the process. Stating that I didn’t want to take a five month break to not do anything with my career like him. Yup I threw the shade. I mean I was a savage, not trying to be degrading just simply stating the facts. I was Miss Petty but what did he expect? I could’ve said worse. What little I said was enough to infuriated him. We knew how to push each other’s buttons when we wanted to.

Not only that but he knew what he was getting himself into. I’m working hard so hard right now to have stable future and to take care of my family for life. Money doesn’t just grow on trees. I mean, they do but they go through a lot to get into my pocket. I couldn’t stop my life and jump whenever he said jump. I know what you’re thinking, I sound like those crazy ambitious women who wear the balls in the relationship but that’s not the case at all. Yes it’s true, I want a long lasting career but in a relationship I want to take the back seat. I want to be taken care of because I spend a lot of time taking care of everyone in my life. Chris had brought so much happiness into my life and some stress when we broke up. I wish he was just more understanding. Maybe it was our age difference.

Every time I try to convince myself that I am not better on my own. That maybe just maybe I really do need someone to rely on, the world shows me something. Whether it was an ex friend’s true colors or another loser I had fallen for. The universe gives me signs. I’m better on my own. It was all unfair. Because if he were in my shoes and our relationship had to take the back seat so he could achieve his goals and dreams than I would of supported it. Instead he dumped me and within four months started dating his co-star on a new movie.

I had just finished a movie and headed home to my little place in LA. I was going to hang out with friends and possibly have a spa day tomorrow. After having to fly for over six hours, all I wanted was a pizza and a Netflix binge. It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I was already in my oversized t-shirt and shorts. I couldn’t be happier though. Sounds lame right? Honestly it is going to be the perfect Saturday evening with no interrupt-

Brrrp Brrrp

Shit. I forgot to turn off my phone. I quickly glanced down and saw his name. I feel myself freeze. We haven’t talked in months. What does he want?

Hey can we talk? Heard you were in town. This was 20 minutes ago.

The last text message said: I’m outside. 2 minutes ago.

I can’t believe this mother- I look out my window to see his car in my drive way. I went to open my door and muttered, “What the fuck?” as I saw Chris get out of his car. I stood in front of my door way, definitely dressed incorrectly to entertain a uninvited guest. “What do you want?” “No hello?” he brushed the back of his head with his finger tips looking timid as ever but then noticed my outfit or lack there of. He started looking me up and down.

(Just imagine Chris showing up to your house looking like THIS.)

“Hello. What do you want?” I repeated, this time trying not to sound too brash. He stood there tall, his hands tucked into his jean pockets, the fabric of his shirt tightened in right places, making his muscles visible even hidden under… Shit. I need to stop. “I just wanted to talk to you. It will be short,” he said probably trying to reassure my already suspicious thoughts. “Can I come inside?”

“Hmm short talks don’t usually mean an invitation inside someone’s house.” I couldn’t stop myself. I was always a smart ass which is why Chris liked me in the first place. I broke face. I slightly laughed after my own comment, letting him know it was kind of okay to come into my house. I’ll probably regret it later.

“I thought you hated me,” he said, taking a look around my house. “I’m just trying to be polite. Now tell me why you came here.”

Chris paused as he looked at a picture sitting on my bookshelf causing him to sigh. It was a picture of us and his family at Disney World. He stayed silent, looking at our photo. Probably remember the story behind it, filling his mind with nostalgia. Which he loved by the way. I interrupted his thoughts by casually saying, “I haven’t been home in months. I didn’t take anything down yet.”

He turned his head and looked at me. “That’s actually why I wanted to see you, I wanted to talk to you about everything. Life has been crazy.” I felt like I knew where this was heading. I couldn’t let him charm me. “You can’t do this,” I said crossing my arms. “You can’t end it the way you ended it and expect me to be your shoulder to lean on. We can’t be friends.” By the look on Chris’s face I could tell he was offended. “That’s kind of harsh.”

“Breaking up with me and dating someone you worked very closely with… Someone you told me ‘not to worry about’… is kind of harsh.” I knew that had to hurt a pinch if not a slap but it was the truth. When I found out… I couldn’t believe it. All my friends tried to convince me it was a ‘rebound’ girl but I knew better… He stared at me in disbelief that I went there. “Sooooo we can’t be friends?” His voice went up in protest.

“No, we can’t,” I said firmly. I began walking towards the front door. I was ready to open it and hopefully get him out of my house. Chris took a deep breath trying to calm his frustration with me. “After everything we’ve been through… I wanted to say I’m sorry. I made a mistake... We broke up already.” “I don’t see how that changes anything.” What does he expect me to do? Just pretend this didn’t happen?

“She isn’t you.”

I visibly roll my eyes at him. Did he really just- I can’t. Did he really just say that? My annoyance grew. I could feel the heat of my frustration grow within me. “Yeah okay but you did what you did, and it doesn’t change anything.” “Can’t you forgive me?!” Chris asked genuinely.

“It’s not that easy.” I can hear the sudden raise in my voice. I tried to calm it. I took a deep breathe and reached for my next word. "You made me feel really bad... for being driven. You know that’s who I am. I want a successful career before a family. I’m young and you made me feel bad for wanting what I want. Then you dated that bitch.”

“Yeah and you made me feel bad for wanting to spend time with my family and taking a break.” He returned the attitude.

There was a moment of silence. I mustered up the courage and walked towards him. “It’s over, I don’t even know why you’re still here. This doesn’t change the fact that you broke us up.” I whispered. I felt both of his hands grip my arms firmly. “But I want to fix this. I want this. I should of been more understanding. You were right, you told me from the beginning what you wanted and I stupidly thought otherwise.”

He reached for the back of my neck pulling me into his kiss. I gasp and try to fight it but I can feel myself wanting his lips against mine. A feeling of passion I missed. The smell of his cologne, his firm muscular body, even the touch of the fabric on his shirt made me want this all back. My body began relaxing, getting familiar with his again. The heat coming off our bodies. Come on, stop. I hear my internal voice say. I forced myself to pull away from his strong grip.

“You can’t do this,” my voice cracks. Oh god. I really didn��t mean to sound so vulnerable.

“I only love you,” he said.

I looked away from his gaze. I knew I still wanted Chris. What I didn’t know is if I’d be able to take him back that easily. But he left me high from one kiss, like inhaling the first puff of thick smoke. “I don’t know what you do to me,” I say desperately.

Within a second I was pulled into him by his strong arms again. He rested his forehead against mine, breathing me in, and holding me so tightly I couldn’t even push him away if I tried. I looked up, staring at those blue eyes that usually hid when he was hurt but they were as visible as ever.

“Please,” he whispered. I should of said “leave” or “go“ but all I could get out was, “Fuck.” His lips crashed into mine and my body was lifted into his arms. He carried me from my living room to my bedroom, it all felt so familiar to me. Chris laid me on to my bed, quickly climbing on top of me.

“You’re mine.” He face turns into a determined expression with a small smirk creeping.

“Wow,” I rolled my eyes and laughed at him only making him chuckle. His hand pulled away my shirt, throwing the fabric on to the floor, exposing my skin. He started running his fingers up my side which made me tingle surprisingly.

“You think I’m kidding?” He smirked, his voice became low. “You belong to me.”

I couldn’t help but grin. He did charm me again with his delicious determination. “Then fucking prove it,” I said.

Chris kept that smirk on his face, scooting lower, pulling my bottoms off so more skin would be exposed. He kissed my thigh. I felt his finger hooked my panties, pulling them off of me quickly. The urgency to feel his touch was overwhelming. I lifted myself up using my elbows to watch what he would do next. One hand caressed up my body towards my mouth. He let two of his fingers slip into my mouth, letting me suck and lick them. Moistening them as began kissing my other thigh.

Chris slightly caressed my opening before slipping his two wet fingers inside of me. He didn’t even wait for my to response, they were fully inside of me and I gasped at the feeling. I couldn’t even remember the last time we've touched. He moved his face closer to my clit. I could feel the heat from his breath on my skin. How I wanted him to fuck me soon… instead his tongue found it’s way to my clit causing me to let out a moan.

I tilt my head back enjoying the pleasure he was giving me. How I wanted him to leave, how I wanted him to stay. He knew what to do to drive me crazy… He worked fingers in and out of me. I could tell from his sensual movements that he was determined to make me cum. I felt another finger find it’s way inside me and I looked up at him in shock. I was enjoying the stretch. I orgasmed so fast. Panting, moaning uncontrollably, and then I laid there flat enjoying my endorphins as I was wildly aroused awaiting his next step. I watched him quickly remove his clothes. Chris came up to my face hovering over me with a satisfied boyish smirk. He gave me a quick kiss too.

My orgasm was so good I was ready to please him as well. “I want you to fuck my face.” His eye widen at his smirk got bigger. “And then I want you to fuck me.”

Chris eagerly stood on my bed as I sat up on my knees. His cock was already erect. Right in front of me. I look up at him smiling giving his head a lick before taking him in my mouth. I felt his hands already on my head guiding me before he started thrusting into my mouth. His pace was steady and my mouth became messy. All my moisture coating his cock as he fucked my face and some of it dripped out of my mouth. He would stop sometimes only to let me catch my breath but I was ready. I was ready to be fucked. I grab his hands from my head, moving them away as I laid on the bed on my stomach, turning my head to look up at him. I arched my back a little, letting my ass stick up a bit.

Chris came down, grabbing my cheeks and massaging them with his strong hands even giving them a kiss. “God I’ve missed this. Your ass is so beautiful,” he gazed at it before giving it a nice slap causing me grin because I loved the mixture of pleasure and a little pain. Het got behind me, rubbing the tip against my entrance before sliding into me where we both moaned experiencing our mutual pleasure. I keep my eyes on Chris as he begins thrusting deeply in and out of me. His lips pressed against my shoulder. He steadied his breathing making sure as he thrusted in and out of me that I really felt him. My body almost forgot how good his cock felt. It would even feel more incredible if I was on top of him.

“Get off,” I said. Chris looked confused but did as so. “Lay down baby.” He complied liking my change in mood. I give him a kiss before getting on him reverse cowgirl style. I knew he would enjoy the view since his hands touched my ass as soon as I slid down on him. I began grinding on him really letting his hard cock hit me in the right spot. From the feeling of Chris’s hands gripping my skin to his pleasurable groans I could tell he was enjoying it too. I throw my head back really riding him, taking my time to build my orgasm. God it felt so good. I could feel Chris’s hands slap my ass cheeks again. I knew he was close and being patient with me. Enjoying the work I was putting in until I felt him sit up, grabbing me on top of him. My back to his chest, my legs spread and his legs bent. He began thrusting into me, his fingers finding their way to my clit as he began to rub but he gets impulsive again. He changes the script and flips me over so I’m on my stomach. He pulls me up so my back is arched and our bodies reconnect as he starts thrusting harder into me. My hands grip the sheets, my mouth bites the pillow as I’m being fucked roughly by him. One of his hands pushed my head into the pillow with the grip of my hair and the other hand wondered my body. I feel him reach for my clit wanting to make sure I cam before him and when I did I screamed in orgasmic bliss. I laid completely flat, ready to pass out in that moment but Chris wasn’t quit done.

I look back at him, completely flustered with a happy grin. I could see in his eyes his concentration and steady pace. His chest was pounding and turning red. His body was glistening from sweat, his muscles were looking so… tight. I felt myself more turned on than before. “Fuck me harder. I want to feel you cum.”

Chris made eyes at me. Smirking at my directions but he did so. He. Fucked. Me. So. Hard. Thrusting into me as if he were going to physically nail me to the bed. I felt his cock reach so deeply inside of me and out of me a hundred times causing me whimper. He gripped my hair a little tighter with his last few thrust as he came. He immediately fell next to me on the bed and laid there in silence for a while as we caught out breaths.

“I’m so fucked,” I said. “What’s wrong?” “No, I’ve been sooooo fucked,” I said while attempting to get up. I wanted to clean myself up and probably take a shower but Chris bursts out laughing and pulled me into his chest. He kept me there tightly which was probably a good thing cause I start to feel how sore I was going to be in the morning. “Does this count as break up sex?” I wanted to know.

“No, because we aren’t breaking up this time,” he said. “Whoa, you think it’ll be that easy?” I looked up at him amused. “Well your heart is connected to mine,” Chris said with the most satisfied silly grin. “Oh cornball. Don’t think it’ll be that easy. You think one good fuck is enough?” Chris chuckled. “How about a few more fucks then?” He pulled my face closer to him, giving me the most passionate kiss. It was all so easy for me to fall for him again within a matter of moments. “Who’s gonna fuck you like me?” I gasped, slapping his chest. Who does he think he is?

“Oh by the way, people don’t belong to me,” I said running my hands over his arm. My fingertips feeling the veins that ran up his arms. “I don’t care. You’re mine. That ass... is mine.” I burst out laughing, grabbing the pillow behind my head to hit him. “Get over yourself.” I tried to hit him more a few times but he gripped his arms around me even tighter.

If there was such a thing called “Dick Whipped” that is what I am.

#chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans x ofc #chris evans one shot #chris evans fic #chris evans x reader

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hajimes-erect-ahoge · 4 years

Text

Postmortem- Chapter 13

Kokichi overthinks his feelings for Shuichi and has a conversation with Rantaro.

ao3

This was bad.

No, it was more than bad, it was terrible, absolutely horrendous.

Kokichi Ouma had feelings for someone.

In the past, it was quite easy for him to relegate these feelings to the back of his brain and pretend they did not exist. In the rare moment that they did rise to the surface of his consciousness he would face them with blunt denial, acting like this silly “crush” of his was nothing but careless infatuation that would die down soon enough.

But now his feelings were staring him in the eye, baring their ugly fangs which threatened to sink into his flesh, rendering him a slave to his emotions.

If his trust issues during the killing game were anything to go by, it was evident that Ouma did not like being out of control of things. He would plan his actions very carefully in order to elicit very specific reactions from the other members of the group, who would play into his hand like puppets. Every action he took was carefully constructed and overthought, so there was no room for uncertainty.

But Ouma’s feelings right now were the epitome of uncertainty.

Love, if he even dared to call it that, was a fickle thing, whimsically swaying its victims to and fro, doing as it so desires. Ouma could take whatever actions he wanted, but he would be pathetically unable to escape the clutches of this “monster” that people called love. He was at its mercy, submitting to his heart’s desires.

Isolating himself did no good- it just made him think of Saihara even more, his absence burning a hole in his heart. But spending too much time with him was dangerous, the warm feeling in his chest blooming, growing until it was unbearable. Any sort of fine medium he tried to find between these two extremes did little to quell his emotions, rather, it made them flourish.

The fact that Ouma had feelings for Saihara was nothing new; Despite how much he denied it in the past, he at least acknowledged the tiniest sliver of a possibility that he had feelings for the other boy. But as time passed and he grew closer to Saihara, his feelings grew stronger as well. They began to dominate his mind, permeating his every thought:

When he went to the dining hall, he hoped that Saihara would be there, kindly waving him over to come sit with him.

When he bickered with Momota, he would purposefully try to gain Saihara’s attention.

And when he went to sleep at night, he wondered if Saihara was thinking of him too.

During the killing game, it has never been this bad. Maybe that was because the crushing weight of trying to end the killing game by himself was resting on his shoulders, taking over his every thought and leaving no room for such idle distractions. Maybe not. Who knows.

But now that the imminent threat of death was no longer looming over his head, he was supposed to be able to think more clearly now. Instead, stupid Saihara just had to occupy his thoughts and be so nice to him even after everything he did during the killing game.

Saihara’s sweet smile that he had reserved only for those close to him, the way he fiddled with his fingers when he was nervous, and the way that Ouma felt his knees go weak every time Saihara looked at him with those unnecessarily long eyelashes- it all made him sick.

And there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing except resign himself to his fate of suffering from an unrequited love, because there was absolutely no way that Saihara returned his feelings. Not when there were so many better alternatives available to him.

First of all, there was Akamatsu, the goody-two-shoes bundle of sunshine that tried to unite everyone together against the mastermind- a foolish move, really. She was the first to be by Saihara’s side during the killing game, and left a lasting impression on him after she died. Everything suddenly became “Akamatsu this” and “Akamatsu that” as Saihara struggled to find himself now that he was left alone.

She had been the perfect sacrifice for Saihara’s character development, her own character being reduced to a martyr that tried to end the killing game but failed miserably so early on. He had idolized her, to an unhealthy extent, almost, and did everything he could to make her proud. Of course she would be his first choice over anyone else and, given the opportunity, he would probably abandon Ouma in order to be by her side.

There was also Momota, who had been Saihara’s companion for the remaining duration of the killing game. Momota had essentially replaced Akamatsu, as the two were nearly one in the same: Both were overly optimistic, natural-born leaders with a sense of confidence that they could only hope would rub off on Saihara. Also, they both hogged most of his attention, leaving so little for Ouma to have to himself.

Momota had been, and still was, Saihara’s best friend, and Ouma couldn’t help but insult him out of jealousy, wishing that it had been him instead. But he was a good-for-nothing liar, so it was no wonder why Saihara had chosen Momota over him.

In short, there was essentially no way that Saihara would return Ouma’s feelings, not when he had so many better options available. The thought made Ouma’s heart sting, but as long as Saihara was happy he couldn’t really complain.

The more pressing issue was how Ouma would suppress these feelings and prevent them from growing. At this rate, he would end up head over heels in love with Saihara, and he absolutely could not let that happen. And if it did happen, he would have to keep it secret.

Eventually, Ouma would be rooming with Saihara, being in his immediate vicinity nearly 24/7. It was too late to back out now, so avoiding the other boy was clearly not an option. He would have to regain the self-control he had lost during the past few weeks, not allowing himself to grow too close to Saihara. It would be hard, but for both of their sakes he would have to do it.

He had to.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ouma groggily woke up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Blinking the remains of sleep out of his eyes, he immediately recognized that he was not in his room. Suddenly more alert, he quickly scanned his surroundings, registering to himself that he was in the recreation room.

“Oh, you’re finally up.” Ouma's eyes darted around before landing on the figure to his right, who he recognized as Amami.

“Huh?” he did a double take before sitting up, instinctively backing away into his corner of the couch.

“Relax, I haven’t been here too long. Just watching some TV to try and get my mind off of things is all.” Amami replied, noticing Ouma’s confusion. “You were here when I got here so I just let you sleep.”

Ouma looked down, noticing that he was covered with a green fuzzy blanket. He assumed Amami draped it over him, because he didn’t remember falling asleep with a blanket, whenever that was.

“What time is it?” Ouma asked, still a bit dazed.

“It’s 9:00 in the morning.” Amami glanced at the clock under the TV, then back at Ouma. “Did you sleep here all night?”

“I think so, I…” Ouma’s brows furrowed as he slowly recollected the events of the night prior.

Him and Saihara had been hanging out in the recreation room late at night, as both of them tended to be night owls. After Saihara had excused himself to go to bed, Ouma sat down on the couch to watch TV, not really feeling that tired yet. But apparently he was more tired than he thought, because he passed out on the couch.

“I was here with Saihara last night, and went to watch some TV after he went to bed, so…” Ouma looked up, noticing that Amami was looking at him with a slight smirk. Ouma frowned. “...What?”

“You and Saihara-kun have been spending quite a lot of time together lately, haven’t you?” Amami asked a bit smugly.

Ouma flushed, feeling his face begin to heat up even at the mere mention of Saihara’s name. He knew where this conversation was going and he wanted nothing to do with it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Ouma huffed, throwing the blanket off of himself dramatically and going to stand up, only to be stopped by Amami.

“No need to get all defensive… It was an innocent question, right? Not like you two are dating or anything… Unless?” Amami teased ever so lightly.

Ouma reluctantly sat back down, sighing and crossing his arms indignantly.

“No! We’re not dating!” he pouted.

“Oh, okay then.” Amami mindlessly tapped his chin with his finger, “You two do spend a lot of time together though.”

Amami paused, studying Ouma’s reaction at his next words.

“You totally have a crush on him though.” he said calmly, while Ouma was anything but.

He whipped his head around to make sure that no one could possibly be listening before responding.

“I do not!” Ouma protested.

It wasn’t like him to get so flustered, but he knew that his trademark lies tended to work less well on Amami. All he could think of in defense was blunt denial, hoping that the other boy would drop the subject.

“Calm down, okay?” Amami put his hands up in defeat, trying to calm the other boy down. “I won’t tell anyone. Pinke promise.” He extended his pinkie finger towards Ouma, who looked the other way.

“Fine! But I’m not making a stupid pinkie promise with you. I’m not five!” Ouma stuck his nose up, turning his head.

“Okay, have it your way.” Amami stood up, making a show of looking around the recreation room. “Saihara-kun should be in his room right now, so if I just…”

Ouma’s eyes widened, and before he knew it he was frantically jumping in front of Amami in order to stop him from telling Saihara.

“Wait, fine! I’ll do it!” Ouma reluctantly held out his pinkie finger, to which Amami smiled triumphantly and interlocked his finger with Ouma’s.

“There. Your secret is safe with me!” Amami released his finger, allowing his arms to drop back to his sides.

“Sooooo…” Now it was Ouma’s turn to smirk, his typical persona now back in full force. “Does my beloved Amami-chan have a crush on anyone? Nishishi…”

Amami flushed just the tiniest bit, before the door to the recreation room opened. He turned to see who entered the room, then turned back to Ouma, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Good morning!” Akamatsu beamed, making her presence known in the room.

“Ah, Ouma-kun.” Amami gestured towards Akamatsu, lopping his arm around her waist. “This is my girlfriend, Kaede.”

Akamatsu blushed upon hearing her first name come from Amami’s mouth, as she seemingly never got used to hearing it.

“Still haven’t gotten used to that, eh?” Amami teased, causing Akamatsu’s blush to deepen.

Ouma tuned out the rest of their conversation, processing the information he had just received.

Amami and Akamatsu were together?

That would explain a lot. Ouma had always noticed the two of them spending time together, but he just figured it was because they were the first two out of the simulation and had grown closer to each other. He never knew that they were dating.

But even if Akamatsu was with Amami, that didn’t change the fact that Ouma simply wasn’t appealing enough to Saihara. Not to mention Momota still being in the way.

Of course, a tiny part of his brain was hoping that he was wrong and that Saihara was interested in him, but he did his best to silence this part of himself in order to avoid becoming too optimistic. Can’t let yourself get your hopes up only for them to be dashed, he supposed.

He took one glance at the happy couple, disgusted at how in love they seemed. Once the couple seemed adequately occupied with one another, Ouma slipped out of the recreation room, returning to his own room, where he would spend the rest of the day sulking about how his feelings were unrequited.

At least, the feelings that he thought were unrequited.

#postmortem #my writing #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #kokichi ouma #kokichi oma #shuichi saihara #rantaro amami #kaede akamatsu #amamatsu #saiouma #oumasai

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trensu · 4 years

Text

Episode 13: The One where WWX’s Gaydar is Completely Nonexistent

YOU GUYS, THIS EPISODE, THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS

IT’S THE ONE WITH THAT CAVE SCENE

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

But in case you don’t know, I’M GONNA TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT

So we start off with wwx offering to carry lwj

Lwj, being the Repressed Gay that he is, flatly refuses: “how boring”

Pretty sure the thought of wwx touching him gives him vapors

Also? LWJ, You gotta come up with some new stuff; this line’s getting old

And wwx is completely immune to it by now

Wwx: *internally* such a stubborn fool!

He’s annoyed that lwj isn’t letting him help him in any way

And, like, i get that

I understand, wwx

But, WHO ARE YOU TO TALK?? MR. I’M GONNA SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY

Okay, moving along now

WE GET A PAPERMAN!! A CUTE LITTLE YELLOW PAPERMAN!! SAY HI TO THE PAPERMAN, EVERYONE, LOOK HOW ADORABLE HE IS!!

And ~Their Song~ starts playing as soon as we see the paperman appear

Wwx sends it floating over to wen qing

Paperman!wwx: plz find a way for lwj to get some rest

Actual!wwx: *hovers at lwj’s shoulder TOTALLY READY TO CATCH HIM IF HE FALLS*

WQ pulls through like a BOSS and everybody takes a break from walking near a river

Poor lwj looks so tuckered out here as he sits down on a rock

Wwx: i’ll go get you some water lan zhan! *runs off to get water*

Omg wwx, you are not subtle

LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU LAN ZHAN

LET ME LOVE YOU LAN ZHAN

LET ME TENDERLY TREAT YOUR WOUNDS LAN ZHAN

LET ME INSPIRE SOME KINKY NURSE FANTASIES LAN ZHAN

How do you not realize what you’re doing wwx. How.

Ewww, now wc is talking, double ewww, he’s talking Plot Things

Gross, now his gf JiaoJiao is talking and is annoying and unfortunately necessary for a future wangxian moment so we have to acknowledge her existence

I know it hurts guys, but i promise you it’s worth it

She’s all “alright losers, go find us that cave with the cave monster thing”

Wwx releases a talisman (no Dramatic Twirl tho) which then locates the cave

Right, the cave.

The very important cave

The cave that will give us lots of quality wangxiantics

That cave.

And now we’re in the cave!! The best cave!! I mean, it’s way bigger and way scarier than the other cave, but still! (Dancing Fairy Cave, who??)

Plot stuff happens, wc is being an asshole, nothing new or exciting here

Then we see everyone find a cliff within the cave!

Wwx: wow, that looks like a bottomless pit

Wc: let’s see if that’s true! *yeets wwx off the cliff* (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WEN CHAO)

Lwj: Wei Ying!!

he not-quite shouts this, it’s more of a startled yelp than anything

Be grateful bc when he starts yelling his name for realsies in this show IT’S NOT GONNA BE FUN

ALSO if wc was not at the top of lwj’s shit list before, he’s definitely there now

So now that wwx confirmed that the pit is NOT bottomless, the hostages i mean visiting disciples throw down some rope and start to climb down

Uh, why didn’t they use that BEFORE chucking wwx down like a bag of trash?? Oh right bc wc is an asshole

Once they reach the bottom, lwj ALL BUT RUNS to wwx’s side

AND HELPS HIM UP!! HE GRABS HIM BY THE ARM AND HELPS HIM UP

BC HE LOVES HIM

I’m gonna give JZX a moment here bc this episode is chock full of wangxiantics and jzx was in snark-master mode

Wwx: well, i know why LWJ and JC came down to check that i wasn’t eaten by a monster, but why are you here, jzx?

Jzx: i’d rather fight an unknown monster whilst weaponless than listen to wc and jj talk for another minute

SAME, JZX, SAME

Lol, everyone is like yeah, that makes sense

More stuff happens and eventually wc and his flunkies catch up with everyone else at the bottom of the cliff and want to lure the monster out

Wc: lets bleed some of this cannon fodder as bait bc i’m an asshole

Jj: i pick mianmian

STAY AWAY FROM MIANMIAN, YOU HORRID PERSON, HOW DARE YOU

And of course everyone loves mianmian so they jump to her defense

Now there’s a showdown between the wens and the hostages, i mean visiting disciples

LWJ IS SUCH A BADASS HERE, GUYS

HE’S TAKING PPL DOWN LEFT AND RIGHT USING ONLY TORCH WHILST INJURED

AND HE MAKES IT LOOK SO CASUAL. DUDE’S NOT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT

HE FREAKING SNATCHES A SWORD OUT OF A WEN FLUNKIE’S HAND LIKE NBD

While he’s doing all that, wwx is completely humiliating wen chao by reciting some of the wen clan rules

WC: stop talking shit

Wwx: uh, i just quoted the wen clan rulebook sooooo you actually just insulted your ancestors

Wwx: what did the rulebook say was the punishment for insulting the ancestors…? Oh yeah, EXECUTION. Prepare to die!!

Wwx proceeds to take wc as a visiting disciple, i mean hostage on top of a giant rock in the middle of a pond inside the cave and we’re at a standstill

It probably could’ve gone on forever except 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢 SURPRISE MURDER TURTLE!! 🐢🔪🐢🔪🐢

THAT’S NO ROCK

IT’S A MURDER TURTLE SHELL

LWJ, being the clever boy that he is, notices that the Murder Turtle has bad eyesight

Lwj: quiet, don’t move! It can’t see us *🎶jurassic park theme plays🎶*

Maybe i should call the Murder Turtle something else. It looks more like a loch ness monster tbh

A distant cousin perhaps?

Nessie: oh, that guy? We don’t really talk to that side of the family

Murder Turtle: *is murderous*

Nessie: yeah, he makes family dinners awkward…

Ahem, anyway

Wen chao is a coward and instead of staying quiet and still like lwj says, he starts screaming like the world’s ugliest baby for wen zhuliu to save him

Murder Turtle does not like this noise coming from it’s shell so wwx and wc end up leaping off of it and landing back on shore and all hell breaks loose

In all fairness to the Murder Turtle, I too hate listening to wc

Murder Turtle starts, you know, murdering. And the hostages i mean visiting disciples don’t have weapons and the wen flunkies are awful

Shit’s happening is what i’m saying

And while all this goes down, jj shows us that she is the MOST AWFUL DUMBEST PERSON ALIVE

THERE’S A GIANT KILLER REPTILE TRYING TO EAT EVERYONE

AND SHE’S MORE CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING BACK AT MIANMIAN FOR BEING BETTER THAN HER IN EVERY WAY???

PRIORITIES MUCH??

She has two of the wen flunkies hold mianmian in place and is about to stick a wen crest branding iron on her face (WTF, JJ)

But oh, WWX TO THE RESCUE!! He shoots an arrow in jj's arm and she ends up throwing the branding iron at mianmian but wwx dives in to stop it!

(and we’re just gonna ignore how terribly fake that dive looks, okay?)

Anyway he dives and blocks the branding iron but oh no, it somehow manages to hit him square in the chest with enough force to burn through his clothes and into his skin!!!

(we’re not gonna question this, just roll with it)

And he drops the Medicine Bottle he hid away to use on lwj eventually

(we’re gonna also ignore the fact that it somehow fell out of where it was securely hidden in his robes even tho he was literally just thrown off a cliff and the Medicine Bottle manages to stay with him and not break at the time)

(look we’re ignoring a lot of things bc we've already determined that special effects are not a high priority in this show AND all this is gonna lead up to great wangxiantics and that makes all of it worthwhile)

Okay so all that happened and then the wens FLEE LIKE THE COWARDS THEY ARE and totally ditch their hostages i mean visiting disciples

Then the bastards not only run away, but cut the ropes leading up the cliff and THEN block off the cave entrance WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WC

The hostages i mean visiting disciples start freaking out. Like oh no, we’re stuck in here forever, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

Wwx diffuses the panic by being like, hey CANNIBALISM LOL I’M ALREADY PARTIALLY COOKED. i am a snack FOR REAL LOLOLOL

After all this, AFTER ALL THIS PLOT-ISH NONSENSE I HAD TO EXPLAIN, we get a little bit of wangxiantics. As a treat.

Mianmian is crying her heart out and apologizing profusely bc she feels bad for getting everyone trapped in this cave EVEN THO IT’S NOT HER FAULT AT ALL PLZ DON’T CRY MIANMIAN ILU

Wwx obvs agrees with me and goes to comfort her. Which he does in a weird way

Wwx: mianmian, why are you crying? I was the one that got branded! It hurts so much mianmian, won’t you stop crying and say something nice to me to make me feel better??

BUT HE SAYS THIS SO CHARMINGLY??

HE EVEN PUTS ON THE MOST ADORABLE, FAKE-HURTING FACE

If jzx had tried this, he’d have sounded like a douchebag BUT WWX? WITH HIS SUNSHINE SMILE?? HOW COULD ANYONE RESIST THAT???

(apparently mianmian can, bc she keeps crying and doesn’t say anything nice to wwx)

HERE’S THE WANGXIAN BIT

Lwj takes one look at wwx & mianmian being all cozied up to each other and you know, spilling feelings everywhere and turns away in a snit

Lwj: *internally* what am i willing to put up with today? Not fucking this.

Jc: lwj, where are you going??

Lwj: to the pond bc it has a way out not bc i can’t stomach the sight of wwx flirting with mianmian

(if you hadn’t been so proud earlier, lwj, you could’ve had wwx carrying you lovingly in his strong arms i’m just saying)

And now we get another example here at how well lwj and wwx work together

So obvs wwx zooms to lwj’s side as soon as he realizes lwj’s going somehwere without him (again!!) and he’s all “there’s a way out??”

And all lwj says in response is “maple leaves”

That’s it. Two words.

BUT WWX INSTANTLY CATCHES ON

Wwx: oh, yeah, the leaves couldn't possibly come from the cave so there must be an opening in the pond where the leaves are floating in!

THEY’RE JUST SO IN TUNE WITH EACH OTHER??

HOW DID HE GET THAT FROM JUST TWO WORDS??

THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES, THAT’S HOW

Now everyone’s coming up with a plan to escape the cave and the Murder Turtle

Details don’t matter here

Skipping that

Nearly everyone escapes the Murder Turtle Cave!! Because of teamwork and the buddy system!! It’s very heartwarming and inspiring AND WE DON’T CARE BC IT’S NOT WANGXIAN

But oh no, at the last minute when lwj and wwx are oh so conveniently the only ones left in the cave, the Murder Turtle notices them!!

It tries to attack wwx!!

But lwj SWOOPS IN TO GRAB HIM AND THROW HIM BACK TO SAFETY WHILE HE FACES THE MURDER TURTLE

ON A STILL INJURED LEG

AND THEN HIS DRAMATIC TWIRL OF DODGING ISN’T DRAMATIC ENOUGH AND MURDER TURTLE DOES MORE DAMAGE TO LWJ’S LEG

Wwx notices right away and goes to grab lwj and pull him to safety now

It’s nice having partners willing to share duties like that

Like, oh, you washed the dishes yesterday? I’ll do them today!

Except, you know, at a more intense level what with the whole “barely escaping the jaws of death” thing they’ve got going on

But same thing basically

So now our wonderful injured boys are in a different part of the cave that the Murder Turtle can’t reach.

Wwx: lan zhan, it’s fine now! The Murder Turtle is asleep or smth

Then shoves the tattered robes around lwj’s leg out of the way to get a better look at the wound, and he’s got his worried expression on!! WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

Wwx: wait here!!

Lol, where do you think he’s gonna go wwx, it’s not like HIS LEG HAS BEEN MAULED AND THE ENTRYWAY IS GUARDED BY A MURDER TURTLE OR ANYTHING

Wwx comes back with a branch that he turns into a makeshift splint

HE’S TENDING HIS SOULMATE’S WOUND GUYS AHHHH

And now he steals lwj’s SACRED FOREHEAD RIBBON to tie the splint on properly

LOL LWJ’S FACE

HE IS AGHAST

Wwx: chill out about the ribbon, we have MORE PRESSING MATTERS, like how your LEG IS PROBS GONNA FALL OFF IF WE DON’T TREAT IT

Wwx: oh hey, Medicine Pouch! Wait where’s Medicine Bottle?? I saved it specifically for…*meaningful look at lwj* uh, never mind

what’s the matter, wwx?? why so shy suddenly???

are you embarrassed to show how much you think of lwj?? is that it?

OMG GUYS HERE WE GO

THE FIRST OF TWO OF THE BEST WANGXIANTICS SCENES OF THE SHOW!!

Wwx: *internally* gotta find a way to get lwj to spit out that bad blood he’s so obviously choking down

Wwx: the only possible way to accomplish this is by STRIPPING BOTH OF US OUT OF OUR CLOTHES

Wwx: hey lan zhan, take off your clothes!

Lwj: *GAY PANIC*

Lwj: you want me to what now??

Wwx: strip! Both of us! Since we’re all wet from the pond

Lwj as you might guess, does NOT start stripping in front of the Love of His Life

Wwx notices that lwj is not stripping even tho he himself has already divested his black outer robe and is clad in only his red inner robe

(AND I LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND OVER IT EVERY TIME, LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS TINY WAIST, THOSE ROBES ARE OBSCENELY FLATTERING)

Wwx reaches over and starts tugging at lwj’s robe

Lwj: WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Wwx: BEING HELPFUL!! But i guess if you don’t want my help, i’ll finish getting myself naked

Lwj: *turns around and pukes out the bad blood from the sheer strength of his Gay Panic*

Wwx: haha! My plan worked! Now all the bad blood is out!

Lwj: oh. Right. That.

Lwj: thanks

Wwx: noooo, don’t thank me! I can’t handle it when ppl thank me!!

After THAT PHENOMENAL STRIP TEASE, wwx goes back to tending lwj’s wounds

He applies stuff from the Medicine Pouch bc Medicine Bottle is gone forever now

He does this very carefully and is very focused on his task

BC HE LOVES HIM

I LOVE THEM

THERE’S A LOTTA LOVE HAPPENING IS WHAT I’M SAYING

Then lwj snatches a bit of the medicine and presses it into the burn on wwx’s chest

Wwx: owww, that huuurts

Lwj: you’re welcome

Lwj: *internally probably* omg i just touched wwx’s chest, be cool be cool bE COOL

Then they have this cute little exchange where wwx tells him how he got injured all the time bc he was a rambunctious tyke (no, surely not you, wwx! I’m shocked!) so he doesn’t need much medicine and lwj’s injury is more serious so he should get more medicine anyway

AND NOW WE GET TO THE OTHER BEST WANGXIANTIC

Lwj: if you know you’re gonna get hurt, don’t be so rash all the time

Wwx: it’s not like i got myself injured on purpose!!!

Wwx: I had to protect mianmian! She’s so pretty

(he says distractedly while staring at their campfire and COMPLETELY MISSES LWJ’S LONGING LOOK)

Wwx: what if she’d gotten her face all scarred up?

Lwj: but now you’re scarred for life!

Wwx: that’s different!

(bc he has issues with self worth and ALWAYS RISKS HIS LIFE FOR OTHERS AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY)

Wwx: i’m a guy. Scars are cool for us!

(that too, I guess)

Wwx: besides, it’ll be a reminder of the time i saved a pretty girl who now will remember me always~!

GOD WWX YOU’RE SO DENSE

Lwj: *bitchy* oh, you’re sooo sure she’s gonna remember you, huh

Wwx gives him a wounded look, like, sincerely confused and hurt at lwj’s tone: “why are you mad?”

And, good god, lwj sees that expression and can’t keep looking at him. He has to turn away, like FUCK i’ve hurt his feelings, shit, i’m getting my feelings all over him

It’s actually kind of painful to watch, POOR LWJ

So he looks away and says: if you don’t mean it, you shouldn’t go around flirting with people

Wwx: *pouts* it’s not like i was flirting with you

THAT’S THE PROBLEM WWX

HE WANTS YOU TO FLIRT WITH HIM AND MEAN IT, YOU COMPLETE MORON

Remember how i said wwx is dense? Here’s another example

Wwx: *teasing* ohh, you like mianmian~!

Like, really teasing. It doesn’t sound like he believes what he’s saying either

Lwj gives him an incredulous look and we get some slo-mo here WHILE ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND AND THEY GAZE SOULFULLY AT EACH OTHER FOR A SOLID 10 SECONDS

Wwx’s face gets this befuddled look and after staring at each other for 10 continuous seconds he says much more seriously, “oh...you really do like mianmian?”

Why do you sound so disappointed wwx? WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERNED ABOUT IT, HUH?

And omg guys, i will NEVER get over the expression LWJ gives him after he says this

It’s an expression that says R U FUCKING SRS RN

HIS WHOLE FACE IS SCREAMING, “FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE”

AND I’M DYING BC WWX, YOU’RE TALKING TO AN ENTIRE GAY BOY WHO IS SO IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT

Then wwx laughs to diffuse the situation (it’s so cute, my heart bursts with rainbows)

And we’re winding down now

Lwj: why should i talk about these meaningless things with you here?

Wwx: you don’t have a choice pal, it’s just you and me stuck here in this cave

Wwx: hey, lan zhan, i think this is the longest conversation we’ve had!!

Omg why’s he keeping track of that? How did he even notice this??

THERE’S NO STRAIGHT EXPLANATION FOR THIS BEHAVIOR

WWX: even after all we’ve been thru, you still don’t talk much. You lan clan types--

*awkward silence*

Wwx realizes he’s stepped in it and taps his mouth as a reprimand for being insensitive

Then he changes the topic about how long they can survive without food/water and how long it will take for help to arrive

And here we have lwj verbally acknowledge what’s happened to him for the first time

He explains that they won’t get help from gusu

Lwj: the cloud recesses has been burned. Uncle is badly injured, brother is missing.

His tone is so matter-of-fact but HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY!!

OH GOD MY HEART 💔💔💔

And then lwj is like, welp, that’s enough Emotions for the day! And falls asleep.

THEN WWX TUCKS HIM IN WITH HIS OUTER ROBE ALL GENTLE AND LOVINGLY

BC THEY’RE SOULMATES

And that's the end of the episode

SO MUCH QUALITY WANGXIANTICS GUYS

I LOVE THIS SHOW

EVERYTHING IS GREAT (I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR THE HEARTBREAKING PARTS)

LOOK AT THESE TWO SOULMATES IN LOVE, LOOK AT THEM

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql #i think this might be the longest one so far

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jestlingnest · 3 years

Note

📃🎶💕💎 for hollow knight!! i love when ppl talk abt their hyperfixations dhjfk sorry if this is too many

Thanks! And don’t worry, it’s not too much! Tumblr crashed the first time I finished this so time to try again...

The plot of Hollow Knight is that you are a tiny bug who arrived at the ruins of a kingdom called Hallownest for unknown reasons. The kingdom isn’t fully dead yet, but it’s pretty close. Everything is infected with orange, except for a few npcs you can find and also the Mantis Tribe. They’re fine. The npcs can be found all around Hallownest, and I’m so glad nothing bad happens to them ever. Anyway, it turns out the kingdom tried to keep away the infection through various means, but it didn’t work. There was a sacrifice- four of them -made to contain the infection, but even that didn’t work. Even the City of Tears, which was closed off to prevent the spread of infection is now filled with husks. So what’s the goal? Eventually you find out you need to travel across the kingdom to find three dreamers and kill them to break the seals. What are the seals? What is it hiding? You’ll have to play to find out! Please do.

I absolutely adore all of Hollow Knight’s soundtrack. It’s so good. Nightmare King slaps so much even though I’ve only heard it in game for about a minute since. it’s a really tough boss fight. I’m sure I’ll do it eventually. Eventually.... One track I think is overlooked is the Soul Master’s theme. It’s sooooo good, and under-appreciated. It even has to share a spot in the offical soundtrack with the soul sanctum theme. But it slaps so much!!! I could listen to it all day. Whenever I do listen to it I actually have to walk around in circles to stim. I also love Nosk. It’s simple but still very good and scary. Even the ambient violin noises in Deepnest sound great! And Crystal Peaks... everyone loves Crystal Peaks. The guitar at the end though. And who could forget the Hive Knight? Me, apparently, I almost forgot to mention his theme! It’s so good I love it so much. You should listen to it! Now.

I’ve already talked about Lemm so now it’s Tiso’s turn! Mato is next if I get another ask with that emoji.

I love Tiso even though all he did in game was talk shit and. you know. His design is super cool even though there’s that cursed fact I’ll be bringing up in the next answer. Also he is funny... he goes “WAAAAAAH UUUAAAA!” as his battle cry. Which is also something I do whenever I’m close to death when playing a game. Did you know that if you talk to the Stag when Tiso is sitting in the station, he basically says his vibes are rancid, but if asked he would still give him a ride? This is never brought up again. I am emotionally invested in any au where Tiso is ok. And people should give him more credit, he seriously isn’t lying when he says he’s a skilled warrior. He got through Trial of the Warrior and Trial of the Conquerer first try with no healing and only his shield. How. And Trial of Fool is so unfair anyway, why are there garpedes??? Why are there mantis traitors??? Why are there soul twisters?????? IS THAT A MAWLEK- I’d hate to be the guy in charge of capturing those enemies. Oc idea. Little do people know, Tiso’s dreamnail dialogue of “...why?...” is actually him asking “why the fuck are these particular enemies here?”. I bet he’s never even seen a soul twister in his life. Anyway I like Tiso a lot.

Did you know that according to the person who drew Tiso, his head is shaped like his hood? I have decided to ignore that.

Another fact is that Ogrim was originally banished. I wonder what for? And you would get to fight Dryya. I’m kind of glad we didn’t because I don’t want to kill Ogrim’s friend :(

#long post #hk posting

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prince-toffee · 4 years

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Five Minutes

A sacrifice fic just to prepare for the inevitable.

(Sorry if there’s any grammar errors, I don’t care, I’m tired, ok I do care, consider this a first draft, I’ll fix it if something’s up.)

The doors locked. They did it. They won. The door‘s access panel changed it’s green light to a red. The display on the panel read ‘Warning, temperature rising to dangerous levels. Clone presence in WatchPoint Bay Q6 detected.’ “Yeah, no shit.” Modulok grumbled to himself, and partially to the panel, as he sat down on the walkway next to his brothers.

“Sooooo, what- what’s happenin’? Is it working?” Vultak asked swallowing fear down his throat as he stuttered on the ‘what’. It did work, the Princesses managed to destabilise the core of the capital warship, The Velvet Glove. The She-Ra, Princess of Power, ploughed her mystical sword into the power core, which resulted in the station’s propulsion systems going offline and set the warship on a collision course with Etheria’s most populated centre, BrightMoon.

“Yeah, it worked alright.” Modulok scratched his two heads with his two left hands, “I just... I calculate that we’ve got about five minutes before either the ship burns up ooooor the all-mighty, all-powerful relic sword explodes and tears our atoms apart and flings them across the ten dimensions... maybe both, probably both.” Modulok shrugged his shoulders with a hopeless chuckle, which didn’t really comfort the perched Vultak on the walkway railing. Then again, what would possibly lighten the mood in that moment.

Hordak and Princess Entrapta managed to angle the station in a manner that would just nearly miss the planet, burn up in the atmosphere and use the momentum of the gravity to sling shot it into a surrounding moon. The space station was mentally linked to Horde Prime, everything was operated and controlled with his consciousness. With Prime dead, it put them into a difficult circumstance. Someone had to stay behind to make sure the ship stayed on course, someone mentally compatible with the Horde systems. Hordak was the logical choice, actually he was the only choice. He was the only High General present, meaning only he comprehended and was familiar with the warship systems. Hordak thought it was funny, She-Ra did finally kill him. A destiny fulfilled.

“Five minutes to live. That’s not a lot...” Mosquitor spoke up, giving off a an exhausted sigh. All six clones present in the room fell into tense and anxious silence. Fear and sadness blocked their throats, they weren’t used to talking with their vocal cords, it was forbidden. Clones were only allowed to communicate telepathically and only communicate about their duties and objectives. ‘Small talk’ wasn’t in the Horde dictionary. Ironically the only places where clones were able to talk and showcase their individualism was on the frontlines.

“Okay, so five minutes of life left... any last words?” Modulok asked shimmying on his rear to find a comfortable position to sit on the hard, cold walkway. A grated panelled pathway suspended at the centre of a deep chamber, below a transparent force shield at the bottom. Which framed a view of heat and fire outside, melting and charring the outer metal casings of the ship.

“What’s there to talk about?” Despara quirked her brow at her brother’s question.

“Well, we’re clones, we don’t get this lucky. We’ve got five minutes to make up for all the decades of silence.” Modulok articulated.

To guide the warship most effectively Hordak had to observe the trajectory from a vantage point, that was where their paths diverged. Princess Entrapta protested, she held his hands in her own, massaged his knuckles with her thumbs. She raised herself up on her hair to face him eye to eye. She even gave him her signature smile, the one that melted his heart in a second. She had that look of possibility in her glistening crimson eyes, a spark of wonder and wanting that looked into multiple futures, hundreds of possibilities, a look that showed Hordak what he had to fight for, a world where that smile, those eyes and that laugh and that brilliant mind exist. A perfect world. He chose to save that world, even if it was without him in it. A final gift to Entrapta, for all the trouble and confusion he caused her.

He gave her a kiss on her gloved hand, befitting for royalty, he gave her the best smile he could, and for the last time, he left her. Princess Entrapta would go on to cry for many days to come, but it was for the best. The greater good.

“Alright. I’m just gonna say it, food, not a fan. Too mushy. Has to go through your entire digestive system, which I didn’t even know existed until a few cycles back, and it has to come out th-” Modulok was cut off by Hordak, who previously was completely silent.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” He didn’t even look at them as he spoke, face down, staring at a small purple crystal in his hand, which he used to fidget with to ease his nerves.

“What are you talking about? We stay together. We’re defects.” Despara states to Hordak almost offended, all of them were through a lot, she felt offended that Hordak thought they’d abandon him now.

“We fought through countless wars. We hauled-ass across the universe. And we killed our god! Together!... Well, technically the blonde Valkyrie lady killed Prime, but still it’s the thought that counts.” Vultak shrugged, attempting to lighten the mood. Hordak rubbed circles on the purple crystal, looking down on it, his face reflected in it’s cracked surface. L-U-V-D. That’s what was etched on it. A fact. A reminder of her compassion. A wake up call. And he did wake up, from a dream world he believed all his life. A life of lies. From a hazy of toxic green to a reality of flaming red.

“I am your general. I stood at our Brother’s side, you were mere soldiers, pawns. I deserve this pain, not you. You could’ve- you should have had normal lives.”

Mosquitor chuckled to himself, “Normal isn’t exactly in our dictionary.” The towering brute countered as he cradled the young hybrid in his arms, keeping Zed near his chest. As if it would make any difference when the fire broke through. “Also we’re not the kind of people the Etherians seem to want to deal with.” That was true, after the Horde Hordak knew no clone would have an easy time on that planet. Those people hated him, his face. He chose to believe that the common people of the world were as good as the Princesses that protected them. That all his fellow clone brethren could find a safe and fruitful life among the native Etherians.

“Then what do you think happens to our brothers? You think the Princesses kept their side of the bargain? You think they’re all off the ship, that they evacuated them?” Despara asked most likely imagining the worst, a possibility that there were some other poor clones still on board. That they were sacrificing lives that weren’t theirs to sacrifice.

To quiet their minds, Hordak tiredly claimed, “No. They kept the promise. They’re honest people.” Hordak added that they had to, they were just like that, it was in their nature. Hordak knew their brothers were fine. BrightMoon had no court to try them, no holding cells to hold all of them for decades to come. And hopefully if Entrapta didn’t decide to hate him, she’d help them all and embrace them in her warmth. Dryl hadn’t had citizens for a decade or two, he was sure the clones wouldn’t be much of a downgrade. They would add some life to the ghost town, so that she wouldn’t feel alone anymore.

“Yeah well, whatever they’re up to, it can’t be as bad as the predicament we’re in, heh.” Vultak flapped his winged arm around, a sharp gasp of pain escaped him as he moved his right arm around. No wonder either, it was bent backward, from the fight with Prime, literal minutes ago. It felt so victorious for just a moment, but life has a funny way of turning tables around.

“Plus, the Princesses? Totally lame, right?” Modulok rolled his eyes as he attempted to stand up to get over to V and help his brother’s arm. But Vultak raised his left hand in protest, there was no need. It was going to be over soon. Modulok sat back down in defeat, amusement draining from his two faces. What good was a medic that couldn’t fix his fellow soldiers.

It was Mosquitor’s turn to brighten the situation, “Hah, yeah I bet our brothers are all clawing their ears out by now. Hehe, remember what those colour coded pastel losers yapped about all the time? Friendship? And rainbows? What a mucha losers, eh? Hehe... heh.”

“I remember.” Hordak stated. Never again.

“Yea, losers.” Despara nodded.

“Losers.” Modulok and Vultak said at the same time.

“...Hmmmhehehahah- HA!” Modulok covered his face to hide his ugly laughter, forgetting about the other one expressing the same emotion.

“Mode, what the hell now?” Vultak asked, a smirk creeping up on him.

“Hehehehahahahhhh, ahhhhh man, w-heh-which one was the one that tried to hug Zed, heheheh and- and got burned. Oh lord. Oh Great Darkness. That face was priceless. HhhhhhhhHAHAHA!” The infectious mirth managed to wriggle out a small spasm out of Zed. His shoulders moving up and down, his nasal cavity wrinkling up in that cute way. Of course the young Zed contributed no sound of amusement as he was mute.

Despara shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. They all look the same to me.” The room shook violently, the pipes above rattled and metal panels fell off the walls and fell down through the force field below. Hordak’s realisation dawned on him, that he would be departing the mortal realm very soon. Even though there was an inferno forming beneath him, just outside that thin force field, even though he was surrounded by his clone brethren, his mind couldn’t help but wonder off to the thought of a certain Scientist Princess. His mind run wild with quite corny and laughable poetry, everything he wished he had said to Entrapta. But didn’t.

He didn’t need her to devote her entire life to him. No. That’d be caging her. She deserved to be free, free to bend the universe to her will and bring the universe to bow before her beautiful intellect. He didn’t need her to lay her lips on him, she didn’t need to touch him. All he needed was just to see her smile, at him. Just for her to be with him, because that smile just for a moment saves him, just for a moment she makes him forget the endless pain he endured every day of his life. And every smile felt like an eternity of bliss. And so with just a look that woman could transport him into a perfect world, where he could live an eternity-long life.

But he didn’t say any of that to her. Hordak knew Entrapta wasn’t interested in long speeches, she had a short attention span, she was a woman of actions not words. That’s why before all this all Hordak gave Catra was a short note to give to Entrapta. He had her promise that she’d apologise to Entrapta, for all that she had done. Unfortunately, he made her apologise for the two of them. The note read ‘I’m sorry, and thank you. - Your ever loyal knight, Hordikins. Farewell My Queen.’ He could have gone on how there were no words in any dialect across the known universe that could express how she made him feel, or that if she only asked he would have gifted her the universe without a second thought. The note said everything it had to.

“Kinda sucks, all this. I only came on sentient a few hours ago.” Despara stated playing with her hair. The statement of dry humour pulled Hordak back from his day dream. “But I’m glad I had the opportunity to meet all of you. And... and be myself, even if it was short lived.” Despara finished. The words brought smiles to her fellow brothers, the past few Horde cycles were the craziest experiences of their lives, because they were experiencing life itself for the first time. They decided where their paths led. Especially Despara. She wasn’t always... herself. What was going to become Despara was clone DSP-772,411, whom was the detention guard overseeing Catra’s cell. ‘411 had never met an other lifeform other than clones. Des was a servant clone. Never stepped outside the perimeter of The Velvet Glove. Her insight on the lay out of the ship came in useful to the defects in their infiltration to kill Prime. ‘411 always felt like they weren’t serving their cause properly, along side their dying brothers on the frontlines. Though not on the battlefield she risked her life every day. Prime had a tendency for violent mood swings. A dinner party for Prime’s guests could be more traumatising and devastative to a clones health than the war trenches. Many clone have begged to be sent to the frontlines to escape the unspeakable horrors which occurred within the walls of the warship.

‘411 was immediately drawn to the captive Magicat. Catra spilled her heart, cried and whimpered, talked about an old flame of hers, about how she hurt people close to her. About how she was sorry. And ‘411 listened to all of it. And at the end, when Catra’s tears dried up and she quieted down, all ‘411 could ask was, what a ‘she’ was. It must’ve shocked Catra, eyes wide in confusion and mouth drooping low in surprise. Hordak wasn’t there when she did, but he could’ve imagined the cat’s reaction, mostly because his first Force-Captains had the same reaction when he first asked that same question in his first years on Etheria. Captain Octavia had quite an interesting evening that day. He made her swear an oath of silence, to never speak of that embarrassing encounter.

Clones had no concept of sex or gender, things just were the way they were. As Prime intended them to be. Perfect. The bodies and missions given to them by Prime were unquestionable. And it never was questioned, because none knew what other possibilities were out there. The alien armies of the Horde encountered were all different and unique, but there was no time or reason to study them. It wasn’t an objective. Prime did not care. Her brothers may have not fully understood, what Despara meant when she said she was always ‘she’ deep down, but none argued, none protested against their new sister. She was a clone, a defect, one of them. She was a new experience. One of a kind. And as Vultak put it ever so elegantly, “Cool. I never had a sister before.”

It was ultimately her who let Catra out and helped her escape back to the Alliance. Hopefully she got that kiss she so desperately needed. Hordak met ‘411 only once before being sent off back to the frontlines, his return and the assault on the Velvet Glove, and briefly at that, on his way with a breakfast tray to Queen Glimmer’s guest room.

“Hey, hey, stop with that sappy stuff.” Mosquitor waved his hand dismissively, rolling his eyes. Moe, as his brothers called him, much like most clones including Hordak, wished to at all times seem tough. Poor MSQ-999,332 had it worse than most. He hide his defection for much longer than Hordak. The illness became so bad that eventually he could no longer use his own legs, his waist and legs lost near all muscle mass. And so ‘332 became paralysed. He was just slowing down his platoon down, so his lower body was amputated. Of course the brother that rescued and brought Moe on board was executed for the crime of ‘Conferring with Inappropriate Machinery’. And Prime personally threw Moe out the airlock back down to the battlefield. ‘332 spent most of his days afterwards, crawling across mudded trenches. Luckily, Moe met on that some battlefield, MUD-111,117, or Modulok.

Nothing, but hatred and vengeance flew through his veins, it did for all of them. Mode managed to construct a life support system, for Moe, a walking hospital bed. Many parallels could’ve been made between it and Hordak’s own First Ones suit, created by Entrapta. Moe’s unit was twice the size of Hordak, it made him tower over even Prime, but the biggest difference was, Hordak’s suit was near indestructible, Moe on the other hand even if he had intimidation on his side, the armour was more for life support than anything. Mosquitor faired better from a distance, ‘332 was an amazing snipper. The room shook more, sparks fling from wiring in the wall, the walkway holding them vibrated and shuttered. Moe took hold of Zed in his large arms, readying for the end.

The sight made Hordak thankful that Entrapta took Imp and got him to safety. The Lord of the Horde didn’t think he could’ve handled having to be forced to watch he’s own creation die... his little spy. He was safe, back on Etheria, in a loving home with a loving overseer. He only hoped that she’d teach Imp her ways, and hoped that one day Imp would grow into an intelligent man worthy enough to continue her legacy of brilliance.

Zed was the youngest of all the clones, although technically the creature wasn’t even a clone, but rather a hybrid. A prototype of the ‘splicing initiative’. A combination of Prime’s DNA and an unknown gene pool. The kid was an attempt at a creation of super soldiers, but failed. Poor kid always wanted to meet that other half of him. That other person that aided in bringing him into the world. This awful, awful world. Sadly, he never will, but he was the first to follow Hordak into the chamber. The boy did say back on the frontlines, that he’d jump into fire after him. And it was true. And to be more accurate, he didn’t say, he signed. All the defects learned the universal galactic sign language. Zed might’ve been silent, but his voice wasn’t unheard.

He’s fate should have been a better one. He didn’t deserve this, he had a full life in front of him. Hordak never knew what drew Zed to him, why he asked so many questions, why he snuck out at night to see him in the trenches. When Prime sent Hordak back to the frontlines, after his torturous reconditioning, he lost hope, but when he stepped out, or rather more accurately, when he was thrown out the troop dropship. Face first in a muddy trench dozens of defects thrown down with him. When he looked up from the dirt and filth, a slither of hope ignited in his belly, as a hand extended to him. Wonder in the boy’s eyes. He overheard Hordak’s mention of being trapped on other worlds.

”Hey, V you’re staring into the ceiling buddy. Talk to us.” Modulok snapped his fingers at his winged brother. Vultak didn’t turn to face him, mesmerised by the ceiling falling apart. V’s facial expression showcased a hypnotised look. As a combat aerial unit he always did look into the skies. But it probably had to do something with the impending doom below. ‘Don’t look down.’ Hordak remembered was the advise Vultak gave him when they leaped out onto the Velvet Glove from the stolen dropship, which exploded seconds later in the void of space as it was cut up with laser fire. VLT-441,441 was a paratrooper in the Horde military, until of course his defect began to show. He was always used to jumping into certain death, fearless in any mission. Vultak didn’t fear anything physical, nothing in the universe made him back down. But now, at the end he looked frightened, he couldn’t look down, do no more leaps of faith, for faith, he lost.

It’s true V feared nothing physical, because he had faith. He was a man of god. A believer. But what happens to a man when your god turns his back on you? Horde Prime knew defection was inevitable for many clones. No machine was perfect, especially no war machine. So Horde Prime infused prophecies and implanted messages into all clone subconscious, so that when defection occurs, all clones are compelled to return to him. Easier than hunting them down, easier to cover up the disgrace of his failures. Easier to hide his mistakes, he couldn’t afford to let those space fairing races above him mapping his progress to know about things like that. Couldn’t afford to let those higher than him know he was capable of mistakes. Perfection was expected of him. Those others above him, he tried to impress them, to have them take him in, show him enlightenment. He, all he wanted to do, was show he was worth their celestial time, he was worth something.

And now he was nothing. He is now dead. Hordak found that he began to enjoy poetry and it’s irony more and more, in a twisted sort of way. They were truly clones.

“Do you... Do you think there’s something out there for us? Up there, where ever?” The questions were deafening, everyone hoped Vultak wouldn’t have gone existential on them. But Vultak was the biggest patriot of them all, even surpassing Hordak’s obsession with their brother. And in turn he was the one most hurt by Prime’s betrayal. He was no god, no grand being, just a liar. Hundreds of thousands murdered... for him, because they believed their big brother. Hundreds of thousands, they murdered, for a lie.

“Do you think any of it was true? Do you think he believed any of it? Or was it ALL a lie?” Hordak answered V’s question in his mind, since never before was it a private place: Yes. All a lie. “The Perfect World. The Grey Mound? The Holy Peak? The Great Darkness?” V grit his teeth, another wave of pain from his broken arm.

“Worried about being sent to the bad place, V?” Modulok asked, weak smile wearing.

“I’m just wondering. What’s waiting in the beyond for a guy like me. It can’t be anything good... if there even is anything up there... or down there.” Modulok decided to stand up and close the distance between him and his distraught brother. He leaned against the railing on which Vultak perched himself.

Mode gently touched V’s shoulder, it made sure V looked at him when he spoke. “I promise you, where ever you wake up on the other side, I’ll be there with you. And I’ll always fix you up after you jump into certain doom. Brother, you have my word.” It was true, the two were inseparable. Through pure chance the two met on the frontlines. While V had his head in the clouds, Mode grounded him, pulled him down to his level. Mode was a realist. He was bad at his bed side manner, he never lied to himself or his patients. He was a field medic, he saw things no one should, endured horrors unimaginable to the innocent. Modulok was the oldest to them, he was through a lot, fighting from world to world longer than any of them in Prime’s name. Over the many decades the spark of pride dulled, Mode found himself lost, fighting across the stars for a cause he no longer believed in.

Mode’s defection was haunting, even to other defects, whom experienced hardships and injustice. Modulok’s defection was the most dire Hordak ever seen, MUD-111,117 developed a second head, and two left arms. His genome could have been compared to a computer glitch, untreated it just got worse. It was a miracle that Mode managed to make it to such an old age. Many species across the universe considered age to be a weakness, a disadvantage, but ‘117 always argued that with age came experience, and with experience came knowledge, which in turn led to wisdom. It was Mode who constructed Moe’s suit, led Des’s surgery, gave V his wings and taught Zed sign language. A true veteran. He had been through it all.

But Mode never helped Hordak with anything, ‘ 117 was a medic, he was compelled to fix others. But when Hordak first arrived at the frontlines of Primus Minor, he isolated himself from everyone else, kept to himself. Hordak treated his own wounds, he worked on his armour alone. When he took the suit off, he was forced to walk on his own, no armour support system. And so he locked himself in an unused compartment of the trenches and over the course of six months, he learned how to walk. Baby steps to an adult man, who never had a childhood. Mode gathered from all of that, that Hordak was a loner. A solo act. Didn’t do well with people.

There came a day when Mode pulled Hordak off to the side and asked him why he worked through all that baggage alone? Why didn’t he ask for aid? Why did he ignore them? Hordak apologised that it seemed like he was avoiding them. And what Hordak said back in response was more of a cryptid puzzle than an actual answer

“Mode... If there is good and evil.

And good is better than evil.

God has to be good... Right?”

“I suppose so.”

“So, are we good? Are we... like him?”

“What do you think?”

“I think there’s no such thing as good or evil.

But it’d be nice... to be good.”

It was clear that Hordak, was on a long journey, one he had to trek himself. Search and find the meaning of it all on his own, in his mind. He needed to find his own meaning and purpose. And what that meant to him.

“So, anybody got any idea how much time we’ve got left?” Despara asked looking at Modulok. Who just shrugged in return, he didn’t exactly have a timer, he simply estimated the time remaining. “So that’s a no? We don’t kno- We can just blow up at any second?... Cool.” Des combed her hair with her fingers to calm her nerves.

“You really think a timer would settle your nerves?” Moe asked unconvinced.

“I suppose not.” Des admitted.

“I could’ve been with her.” Hordak spoke up suddenly in the middle of the conversation, honestly he was so quiet Despara forgot he was there, even though he was seated right next to her.

“What’d ya mean?”

“I could’ve saved myself... the First Ones crystal, it’s a server. To help me sync up with her new armour, Entrapta recorded my brain waves on the crystal. My memories, my thoughts, my personality, all of it... I could have given it to her when I last saw her.

But I didn’t.

I lied.

I left her.”

All five siblings turned their heads side to side take turns looking at each other and then back at Hordak. His face unmoved. Looking at the purple crystal. Zed stood up and broke free of Moe’s embrace. The young one stepped up to him. Hordak’s blood red eyes drifted up to the boy’s hands. He signed.

‘Why?’

“...Because it wouldn’t be me. Not me. A clone of me.”

The clones fell silent. Head bowing down. No more needed to be said. Every aspect of their lives had been thrown into question, into uncertainty. When the assault on The Velvet Glove happened, Hordak was leading the charge. Prime captured him and tortured him, he hurt him in front of Entrapta. He fell to his knees and crawled back to Prime, like he always did. But this time it was different, he stood up, he walked to him. Like a man, not a dog. Prime insulted and demeaned him. Prime claimed that Hordak wasn’t a person. Clones were nothing, ‘mere shadows of his greatness’. The clones were him, just dirtier, unclean. A lesser version of what he was.

This was their stance against that. Showing that their lives meant something. That they were worth something. They were worth the world, for that was what they were saving.

The force field beneath them gave off a thunderous sound, a final warning. The bay shook one more time, the artificial gravity became disabled and the room began to tilt and shift. The metal walls crumbled like paper. The walkway began to swing and crack. Mode took V’s unbroken hand into his own. Moe embraced Zed in his arms one last time. Dess wrapped her arm around Hordak’s shoulder, and he in turn pressed his head against hers.

Modulok gave his last words in the form of a question, “...Do... Do you think... Could we have done something, could we have ended up with a happy ending, all of us? Could we have been good? Would it have made any difference?”

Hordak spent his last moments thinking, he didn’t realise he was thinking out loud, “Good? I think there’s no such thing as good...

But that would’ve been nice...”

The force field imploded, gave in. The fire broke through. The Velvet Glove burned up in the atmosphere. And the clones were no more. And on that day all of Etheria cheered, and celebrated. For the evil was vanquished.

#hordak #entrapta #entrapdak #spop

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