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#I really just love how simplistic it all is
hopefulceladon · 3 days
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rest for the weary | kamisato ayato x reader
summary: kamisato ayato, though a man of many talents, hardly knew the meaning of the word ‘relax’. you, on the other hand, really wished he did. pairing: kamisato ayato x reader word count: 2.1k notes: happy ayato day!!! it's not much but at least it's something.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
As twilight blanketed itself over the horizons that surrounded the confines of the Kamisato Estate, so, too, had the celebration held within the guarded walls of the property ceased.
It had hardly been a stuffy, bejeweled social gathering beheld in a decked-out estate like many of the commissioner’s birthdays of the past, no. It was a simplistic and warm gathering with his closest friends and family members, and felt much like an embrace. Much like a temporary safe haven away from life’s ceaseless trials. Much like how such an occasion ought to be commemorated.
There was, perhaps a part of you was afraid that the current party would be too dull for Ayato's tastes—your beloved was the clan head, after all, and he only deserved a party as sophisticated as his wide expanse of titles, didn't he?—but the small, genuine smile he wore the moment he saw you, Ayaka, and Thoma huddled around a small feast table had soon eased your concerns.
And, perhaps, at his reaction, something within you urged you to ponder if this was the kind of celebration he preferred after all.
But now that the humble festivities of the evening had concluded, and Ayato had excused himself away from the scene, it became ever apparent that his intention was to immediately throw himself back into the rhythm of what he deemed as normalcy, as if the very concept of relaxation was foreign to the well-versed commissioner.
And as you leaned against the doorframe of his study, you frowned at the familiar sight of your beloved sorting through his moderately cluttered desk, fervent in his search of the next stack of documents to work on, with his back slightly hunched and his shoulders tensed from the weariness that found an unwelcome home within his bones.
It took him a moment to recognize your presence, but his countenance had brightened once he finally met your gaze, as if your mere existence was much like a healing balm for his tired soul. Still, his brows quirked upright at the sight of you, as if his aforementioned healing balm had no reason to be standing before him at the hour that it was.
“Hm? My love, why are you not in bed yet?”
Even if the expression upon his face was courteous, you could still recognize the exhaustion that plagued him deep beneath his pretty violet eyes.
“I could ask you the same question, couldn't I?” you replied as you approached him and his desk, frowning further at the scattered leaflets that were splayed across its wooden surface. “Why are you working?”
“I’m simply catching up on the work I skipped earlier this afternoon. Another all-nighter is in the books, I suppose...”
His admission caught you off guard, and you stared at him, baffled.
“You were meant to relax today, weren't you? Something regarding, oh, goodness, I don’t know, your birthday?”
“Oh, please, you really need not remind me,” he began with a sigh. “Much as one would expect, the flow of my tasks and duties won’t simply put itself on hold just because its master happened to make it yet another cycle around the sun...”
“I understand, but you haven’t had a break in quite some time...”
Guilt had added a new splash of psychological color to accompany the fatigue that was already distinctly painted across his features, but his hands still remained ever busy with his paperwork.
“If the imminent needs of the clan cannot cease for one day, then neither shall I, I fear.”
His counterpoint was logical, you supposed, but his utter refusal to even consider himself at all caused your heart to ache. Though you knew far better than to engage in attempting to explain anything to someone so stubborn, much less someone whose job, more or less, was to debate and persuade others to agree with his stances, you persisted.
“You still can always just simply... attempt to rest?”
A brief flash of surprise flickered in his eyes at the abruptness of your response, but he simply hummed in response, waiting patiently for your explanation.
“One of your concerns is keeping your loved ones safe, isn’t it? But were we not all there, happily celebrating alongside you? Was it not lively with nearby retainers, all hoping to do something to serve you? Is that not proof that we're all safe and secure within the walls of the estate you oversee?”
“I... suppose, yes, but I fail to see how that's relevant to the argument against me dealing with late night paperwork?”
“It means that you succeeded in at least one of the goals that I know you must surely think of when you sit at this desk. And if you succeeded in that, then... shouldn't that be enough for you to put up the paperwork for at least tonight?”
“Mm. I do appreciate the insight, dear, but it's hardly ever that simple, and I’m sure you, of everyone, would know that to be so.”
Quickly, you realized your claim was losing its validity, but you, fortunately, were as persistent as he was.
“I know, but it should be enough to prove that the members of the clan aren't at risk of any sudden disaster...” your voice trailed off as you took a moment to reach for his free hand, gently grasping it in your own. “The world shall not end, nor shall the Kamisato Clan crash and burn to the ground, if you happen to take a night's respite, I think.”
At the sudden contact between your hand and Ayato’s, though his black leather glove blocked most of the sensation, he breathed in sharply. As a quick-thinking means to distract himself from whatever seemed to stir his troubled soul, he focused on readjusting his grip on the calligraphy pen that he held firmly between his other hand’s index finger and thumb.
“Hmph, tell that to the other commissioners, then, my love...”
“The other commissioners are not here to perceive nor judge your actions, my love ,” you replied, then paused to make a humorous production out of warily glancing around for ‘eavesdroppers’ before you whispered. “...nor do I quite care what they think, regardless. They're hardly the ones who must bear the weight of knowing the exhaustion you strive to conceal.”
Your honesty made Ayato chuckle, but your confession still caused his eyebrows to furrow.
“I cannot tell if it's from the charm of your words or from the weariness you claim I possess, but I suppose you're quite right,” he mused aloud before his eyes reclaimed their familiar, charming glimmer. “Though, I suppose if we wake up tomorrow to, say, a burnt down kitchen, I'll at least have someone to blame for lulling me into a false sense of security, hm?”
“Now, why would the kitchen burn down? You'd be absolutely nowhere near it.” you quickly retorted, unable to suppress the small giggle that snuck past the stoic front you had built and forged with concern.
Ayato let out a soft hum of amusement at your witty remark, tapping the stack of papers against his desk to even them out before laying them to rest. Moments later, he arose from his chair and drew you in closer with a gentle tug at your arms, the playful grin from moments prior still plastered on his face.
“Oh, has the silver melted off your tongue now that you believe you finally persuaded me?”
“Huh? It's hardly like that!” you protested.
You swore the cheeky bastard had smiled at the flash of panic in your eyes, before leaning down to briefly press his lips to your forehead.
“I know, dear, don't fret.”
Much like a switch had been suddenly flipped, the lighthearted atmosphere that lingered in the room allowed itself to be reformed into a far more serene state, aided by the ambience provided by both the steady raindrops that pattered against the shoji windows, and the flames that frolicked off of the wick of the burning candle that rested atop Ayato’s desk.
In response to his affectionate gesture, you took a step closer to wrap your arms around Ayato in return, reaching your one hand up to thread your fingers through his silky, pale blue hair, and leaving the other to rest against his cheek, all of which elicited a soft hum of contentment from Ayato’s lips.
“So, does this all really mean you’ll rest?”
“Oh dear... if that’s truly what you’ve concluded from this, I fear you’re sorely mistaken.” Ayato said as he leaned his cheek further into the palm of your hand, smiling at you tiredly.
You sighed at his response, feeling slightly disarmed by the charming sight he put on display.
“I’m sorry for being so persistent, it’s just that after all that you do for the clan, for... everyone, I just wish you'd consider yourself more often.”
“Ah, if I considered what I truly wanted more often, I fear we'd both be out of commission for at least a small while...”
As your face scrunched together in thought, your mind still too exhausted from the weight of your concern to decipher any potential meaning beneath his words, Ayato chuckled at the profound confusion his words had implanted within you, and he shook his head.
“Mm, nevermind that. Now, come here, dear.”
Without further notice, Ayato wrapped his lithe arms around you and enveloped you ever closer. The sudden force he used in pulling your body so abruptly flush to his own nearly caused you to stumble backwards, but quickly, he steadied you before you could make acquaintances with the floor by placing his palms against your hips.
At the sight of the surprise in your eyes, his hands immediately retreated out of fear he had breached any sort of boundary—oh , you had nearly asked him to put them back—and he simply let a hand idly rest upon the small of your back, holding you close to him as if you were made of a fragile glass that was all too eager to shatter.
“I really do hope you enjoyed today.” you murmured suddenly against the fabric of his lavender kimono, reaching your hand out so that it might rejoin with his, interlocking your fingers between the webbings of his own the very moment they reunited.
“As far as I'm aware, every day is enjoyable whenever I get to spend it with you.”
With your fondness growing ever intensified by the unspoken intimacy of the moment, your chest ached pleasantly at the tenderness that shone in his eyes as he lifted your intwined hands up to his lips, brushing them against the bumps of your knuckles ever so briefly.
Wordlessly, with an idea in mind to reciprocate, you reached behind yourself and gently pried his gloved hand away from your lower back.
While Ayato was deeply engrossed by your actions, at least enough to analyze your expressions with a curious gaze, he hadn't realized you had managed to cautiously slide his glove off his hand until the moment he felt your touch brush upon skin that he knew should've been covered by leather.
His breathing audibly faltered the moment your warm fingertips grazed against his surprisingly cold palm, unable to catch himself in time.
“My darling, I..." Ayato fought to speak coherently through a breathy whisper. Quickly, he cleared his throat and forced himself away from the tempting arms of the pleasant stupor your touch had thrown him into. “If this is the means you choose to convince me to relax, then... I suppose that we ought to retire to bed now, after all.”
“You mean your work can wait?”
“Perhaps it can, perhaps it cannot, but I must confess that at this very moment, any matters regarding paperwork are truly the furthest things from my mind...” Ayato admitted quietly, burying his forehead comfortably against the crossing that joined your neck and shoulder together.
“Then... what is on your mind?” you asked, still holding him close, still holding his freezing cold hand within your grasp. It really was hardly any wonder why he wore gloves all the time, it seemed.
“Merely the thought of being able to rest within the comfort of my beloved’s embrace for as long as the night shall allow us, if I’ll be so kindly permitted...”
As he lifted his head up from your shoulder, his gaze meeting yours, his weary eyes yearning for you to please at the very least answer his inquiry, you cracked a small smile at the rare sight of the vulnerability he usually kept under highly secured wraps.
“I think it would be my honor to kindly oblige.”
After all, only the heavens knew how strongly you longed for that, too.
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blackheartbiohazards · 19 hours
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SoJ is a game that left me conflicted when it came out. Its emotional beats are top notch, I think, but then when I talked about the game with my friend, I found myself criticizing the writing and characters and setting. It's all rather over the top and simplistic and let's just say the main villain didn't impress me lol.
Hope it's an easy question to answer: what's your opinion on Nahyuta? It seems he's one of the most divisive prosecutors in the series along with Barok van Zieks.
Oh, wow, woof, yeah. "Conflicted" is about how I would sum up my feelings on SOJ as well.
I kind of hate the plot and the themes of it. Basically every case has something to say on the theme of hereditary legacy, and what it says in every single case is "hereditary legacy is objectively good and we should work to uphold and perpetuate it." and I hate that. 
I hate that because in absolutely every case the hereditary legacy has unquestionably damaged and fucked over the kids inheriting it, and the narrative wants them to accept it on their shoulders like its a good thing. It damaged and fucked over Trucy, it damaged and fucked over Maya, it damaged and fucked over Geiru and Bucky, it sure as fucking hell damaged and fucked over Apollo, Rayfa, and Nahyuta. Hell, it fucked over Gar'an as well!
And the narrative wants them to uphold their abusive family legacies, and holds them doing so up as a personal triumph, rather than the obvious perpetuation of a broken cycle that it is.
I mean they literally spell it out in the narrative. The tradition in Kura'in is that "the sins of the father are visited on the children." But instead of the narrative saying "actually that's fucked up and we shouldn't believe that" the narrative instead says "that's okay because your father was actually free of sin!"
It's immensely fucked up thematically.
And that's not even getting into unpacking the uh, uncomfortable exocticism (and sometimes outright racist tropes) that are jam packed into the portrayal of Kura'in.
But Nahyuta.
Oh Nahyuta.
I spent the entire game repeatedly saying "I hate this guy's attitude" and "this guy makes me really uncomfortable", because I wasn't comfortable saying "I hate this guy". Because I was sure the trauma backstory was coming.
And oh boy did it come.
There is nobody who has been more immensely fucked over by inheritance than Nahyuta, oh boy.
And suddenly in the very last couple hours of the game it puts all of Nahyuta's extremely annoying preaching and holier than thou attitude into perspective. Because it's a direct result of religious abuse perpetuated against him, and and his own way of coping with the basically fucking doomed abusive situation that he's put himself in.
Here is a young man who has been raised as a tool and a weapon by his insurgent father. Nahyuta is a "defiant dragon" to his father first, before he is ever a son. And Nahyuta desperately wants to please his father, but he doesn't agree with his tactics.
So he trains his whole life to go and fight the battle in his own way, to do things the way he thinks is right– and he's immediately trapped and blackmailed into a situation from which there is no escape.
I love Nahyuya and I want so much better for him. Having him and Apollo and Rayfa stay in Kura'in is an absolutely tragic bad ending for them, where they're all forced to continue living out the pantomime of their father's shadow.
In my imagination, (and one day in my fic) six months after Spirit of Justice there is a schism in the Defiant Dragons between the monarchists and the socialists, and Apollo, Nahyuta and Rayfa end up having to back to go LA and pick up their lives and deal with the trauma of their crushing family legacy.
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silverflqmes · 3 days
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hihi ellie ! i was wondering if i could request hcs with sugawara with a gymnast!reader (self projecting but i wanna see what ur thoughts on it are like <3) gn please <3 love u lots /p
໒⦂ 𝐆𝐘𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒.
notes. hi hi luma, my memories of gymnastics and terms has diminished over the years bc i stopped at a young age, but i’ll try my best with this🫡
genre. fluff + crack
for @kurolumiis <3
koshi sugawara x gn!reader.
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⌗ sugawara definitely finds a way of balancing volleyball along with attending your meets ( i think this is the term.. )
⌗ loves to see you in your leotards all dressed up and sparkling, you’re like a shining star to him, certainly under the glow of the stadium lights<3
⌗ either made or purchased good luck charms for you to keep with you at any competitions you might have, especially if he cannot be there himself — but he tries his best to be!
⌗ should he have the time, he gets up extra early and prepares a nice meal for you to take with you if it’s an away tournament that he can’t attend, how sweet<3
⌗ your number one cheerleader!! i mean, have you seen him in the scene where he was like YAMAGUUUUCH, IPPON NICE SERVE!! yeah that’s him but cheering you on instead.. minus volleyball terms BUT DOES THAT SILLY MAGICAL GIRL POSE LMAO
⌗ he’s so proud of you out there he’s like YES THAT’S MY BABY OUT THERE SLAYING THE COMPETITION!! while holding a camera and recording BAH
⌗ helps you stretch if you’re sore and spots you if you’re practicing after hours and you don’t have someone to catch your limbs or prevent you from getting hurt in any way
⌗ SHOULD you get hurt, however, he’s got the first aid kit ready and you will likely get scolded for not being careful but it’s just him being worried about you cuz he doesn’t like seeing you hurt</3
⌗ loves when you attend his games, even if he isn’t on court 100% of the time, but y’know, appreciates it nonetheless cuz it displays you care for his interests as much as he does for yours
⌗ there was a leotard once that you were eyeing but was a little ( a lot ) out of your price range.. you had wanted it for your nationals, too, since you had gotten in — so sugawara surprised you with a nicely wrapped box once the results were in that you would be going, and it was none other than the leotard you were eyeing that day<3
⌗ out of curiosity, he asked you one day to teach him some things — i mean, the man can jump so high?? it’d be a shame not to try some stuff out..
⌗ and so you agreed to his request, finding it silly that he wanted to try what you do
⌗ it was safe to say that it was easier watching than actually doing.. and that trampolines made stunts MUCH EASIER THAN GYM MATS DID.
⌗ koshi still managed to do something from what you taught him, and albeit it a stunt as simplistic as running into a cartwheel going into a front handspring — it still warmed your heart that he took interest in what you do
⌗ it was also funny at times to hear him yelp cuz he was literally upside down for some things you had him try out LMAO
⌗ in return, after doing some much needed stretches to not have his body absolutely destroyed for practice the next morning, you had offered to try out his volleyball drills.
⌗ how hard could spiking be? ( if you’re short like me and aren’t the highest jumper — hard. but not as hard as blocking😵‍💫 although with timing it’s not as difficult.. )
⌗ it wasn’t as easy as it appeared from a distance, but it was still fun to do! a few sets later it would become a little more easier, and sugawara tossed in a way that was feasible enough for you to hit
⌗ brings you flowers on every competition, whether you win or lose he still brings them because you did really well out there regardless or the results!
⌗ just as he cheered for you during your meets, of course you also cheered for him during his like duh?? anytime he felt himself growing nervous — or the odds of winning had become close to zero, there you were lighting up his way<3
notes. that went a lot quicker than expected, i forget how easy hcs are LMAO but i hope you enjoyed luma<3 hearts to you from me /p and sugawara<3
↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask
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hi!! i loved your post about deltarune's metafiction and its (not) escapist themes, and it got my brain jogging, like... i guess ive just been thinking "why"? like ive heard that take before and i think its valid, but also like. why ? its obvious enough to me that deltarune uses the lightner/darkner relationship as a reflection of the player/game relationship and both of these things are addressed critically, but i can't help but wonder if there's a driving force for it all, outside of deltarune. like i can accept diegetically the darkners are not, or shouldn't be, subject only to the whims of lightners, but with any good story if you break it down to its core is ultimately saying something about humanity or the world and such. i mean i seriously doubt the people who seem to think that Toby Fox intends to induce *actual* guilt into the people who fund his life's work and career by purchasing his videogames, like, it's obvious that "you are a bad person because you play this videogame" isn't the intended message, nor was it in undertale. but then, what is? what is the purpose of a story that invites us to think of toys and game characters as "real"? not to trash my beloveds but i mean, literally speaking, their lives DONT matter, they r not real. it just feels like ive seen a lot of discussion about 'what' toby is doing with the narrative but i feel like that's only half the ordeal, the other half would be the reason why. my first thought was that the implicit 3rd thing being compared to the light-dark, player-game thing is actual social hierarchy IRL in which people are oppressed by another group that doesnt see them as human, bc iirc toby talked a bit about feeling powerless and wanting to do more to change the real world on real issues in an interview in 2020ish and of course there's the snarky gag about the fedora plugboy who doesn't like politics, so he doesn't care that an evil ruler is taking over the world. im not sure if that sits right with me as what the intention is (esp because the latter is a darkner talking about another darkner) but i couldnt think of much else although i do feel like a fallacy people get themselves into a lot in the fandom is the assumption that toby fox is this Impeccable Writing Machine and not just like A Guy. people make weird or flawed art sometimes, it doesn't *have* to adhere to standards. maybe deltarune is meaningless (or the meaning IS that it's meaningless, as though to complete the metaphor of it being a "real" fictional world, because if it is 'real' then like our world there is no "answer" or "purpose", it simply *is*.) dunno! im not expecting it to boil down to a simplistic fairytale moral like "dont bully people!!" or something, mr. fox tends to write more convoluted than that, but i feel like if there's something to be gained from this particular part of the game's story then i'm not sure i see the vision. what do u think? do u think this question is even answerable with only two chapters?
respectfully, I do heavily disagree with the notion that good stories necessarily have to say anything about the world or about humanity. one of the reasons I like metafiction is that it usually says something about how stories are constructed, and that's enough for me. there's plenty of stories that have bigger themes that aren't really all that much about human nature, at least, not directly. a story can comment on one specific thing without necessarily making a broader statement about people, you know? not every story has an easily explained moral lesson.
that being said, yes, this plot element is in service of deltarune's larger themes! which are about agency, control, fate, and identity.
deltarune's fate theming and its metafiction elements are a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation given how interlocked they are, but I've found it helpful to describe deltarune as a "person vs. fate narrative that uses a metafictional lens to characterize fate." rather than the three fates of greek mythology or whatever dictating its characters' lives, it is instead the structure of the rpg their world was made to be. they are player characters. they are npcs. they play specific roles in the narrative. no one can choose who they are in this world.
control is emphasized in this story. there's the control we have over kris, of course, and in a much subtler way the control we have over the world through them. there's the darkner-lightner hierarchy, which parallels our dynamic with kris. i would argue that there are even social forces in hometown which also serve to place the lightner characters into specific roles. under this level of control, it's hard for characters to push back and determine their own identities.
all these forces combine to mean that deltarune's characters are fighting back against the narrative itself! which says stuff about people's agency, and the way rpgs are written, and how we interact with all that...
ultimately, you can apply this to real life. even if there aren't things like "fictional people who are actually real," hierarchies of control do exist in real life. narratives that erase the agency and internality of certain types of people exist in real life. it's admittedly a rather general statement, but like with any narrative about fate, seeing characters resist rules that are seemingly written into the fabric of their existence can make you feel inspired to also define your own identity! and to be transgender. don't forget to be transgender
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peapod20001 · 6 months
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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shortmexicangirl · 1 year
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sweet nothing is so painfully adrienette's song and i am so extremely normal about this fghjmnjhDKHSGJKDH
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dbphantom · 9 months
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Do you think these 4 people know that at this point I've pack bonded with them and would kill and die for them if they asked
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#Every day I refresh my tabs and every day I scream internally#Right now I'm betting on us either getting a trailer for the new episodes or a movie/game with It as the main draw OR#Or we are getting a first look at the new opening#I don't know what else could be a special announcement because I would think premiering an episode early would be a mess schedule-wise#So a trailer for a movie/game/the next few episodes would make sense#But also the new opening has been in the works for months at this point. So this would be the perfect time to show it#Cruddy rambles#I'm trying to maintain my expectations to 'I will be disappointed if I expect the best scenario'#But also being realistic in what this special announcement is and what they're gonna show#I really think it will be a trailer or the new opening. I think that'd be perfect while not showing the full episode it'd still build hype#And just show people what they're there to see and what they're promoting (G5)#Like come on don't tell me we wouldn't all lose our minds over a teaser trailer featuring G5 showing us it fully animated for the first time#Because in Film Red we just got static G5 Luffy. Which was dope BUT I want to see how he's gonna move.#And even if it isn't relating to the upcoming episodes seeing a game/movie get announced with G5 as the main draw would be so fucking hype#I loved film red don't get me wrong but I think they're gonna announce another movie soon#And what perfect time to do it!! G5 is gonna be in the anime soon so a whole movie based on rubberhose antics would be so fucking fun#And hey I'm in the minority here but I do love the one piece games despite them being super simplistic#And I would kill for a game where you can play as Nika. I would KILL FOR IT#I will say tho my worst fear is what G5 will have CGI components#They've been using them a LOT in Wano and it's so obvious every time and well 🤢 they don't look good...#It's too smooth and obvious and sure that *could* lend to the whole unnatural rubberman vibe Nika gives off but like...#You have a whole genre of non-CGI animation to be inspired by!!!! If they forgo rubberhose and make it even partly CG I *will* cry
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corbinite · 10 months
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I don’t want a fionna and cake series. Please hbo just let this show have a narratively satisfying end pleaaase. The ending of adventure time was so good and such a good sendoff and it only WORKS if it’s an actual ending, it only works if we’re actually saying goodbye. Literally the whole message of the finale was that sometimes you have to let things end and accept that things will never be how they were, and that there’s beauty in that acceptance because no matter what changes it doesn’t erase what you had. You cannot literally have that be the entire THESIS of the last three or four seasons and then keep drawing it out for cash and nostalgia
#mine#at#adventure time#also I'm gonna say it the fionna and cake episodes do not hold up#they very much fit into the early days of adventure time when a simplistic and normative mythos of boyhood was central to the premise#and fionna and cake stood to contrast that which is why when it comes to gendered things fionna got treated *so* different by the writers#like how the narrative in the early seasons was pushing finn to 'get the girl' meanwhile the narrative within fionna and cake#was more about self-acceptance regardless of a man (keep in mind they were both like 13 at the time)#that's VERY gendered and it's the kind of thing that the writers clearly realized they were doing wrong#given how they recontextualized the gender stuff into something way more productive starting in the flame princess arc#and I get that they were all in ice king's imagination but let's be real that's not why those episodes aired#so the in-universe logic for why fionna was treated so differently than finn don't really make sense#anyway this is basically the same thing I was saying when they initially announced distant lands#and I still think they never should have released distant lands (even though I do love some of the stories told)#there's just no ending they could ever give the show that's better than the initial ending#and even if it was possible to give them a satisfying new ending they're NOT going to reach it by dwelling in nostalgia#because that's completely antithetical to what makes an ending good#at least antithetical to what made adventure time's ending good
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egoarc4de · 11 months
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fictionadventurer · 2 years
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The Electrical Menagerie animated movie when?
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apollo-cackling · 2 years
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reading tg/cf and it's. everything I love and hate about chinese stuff
#my rambles#parts of it - especially the emotions - I genuinely really love reading#other parts feel. a bit amateurish if I'm being harsh hsjajdh#or come from parts of chinese culture that I. don't really like#(hi I'm chinese btw)#like my current favourite arc is the f/ngx/n g/oshi arc (that should prevent it from showing up on search right)#the b/nyue arc and the current arc I'm on the last one of book 2#I'm not sure how to articulate it ig I just don't like how it's scaling up#like first of all the dichotomy of two groups in both arcs feel just. very. convenient like#the former it's like. even aside from the tasteless poc stuff y/ng'an itself is full of diff ethnicities#you telling me no xi/nle folks sympathised with the b/nyue?#and especially the xi/nle vs y/ngan stuff like#I dislike the way the moral quandry is set up like#it feels so very artificial and simplistic to me like I get it it's supposed to be about constantly escalating conflict between two groups#where there's no good answers and no good end to the conflict#but. gah the construction of such feels so artificial and like if you add any detail to it it doesn't stand up#and I've read the grace of kings I know chinese 'broad strokes' style writing can be used *really* well for epic political fantasy too#I guess it just comes down to. I don't believe that there isn't sizeable amount of xi/nle people who don't sympathise withthe y/ng'an folks#I don't believe that there isn't a sizeable amount of them that *does* find the treatment of the y/ng'an folks horrifying#I don't believe that there isn't a sizeable amount of them that are actively fighting the xenophobia and trying to help the refugees#I don't believe that non soldier b/nyue and a y/ng'an haven't been finding common ground together for all the time the conflict has been#I don't believe even all the commoners farmers merchants craftsmen#people who all suffer more bc of the conflict than they will ever have to gain from winning#I don't believe that they don't feel kinship towards each other#fanatical loyalty to one's nation has always been. if not normal then at least not unusual in chinese literature#I never really liked it#also the chinese treatment of insanity/有病 ie xu/nji or q/ r/ng#yeah it's super goddamn ableist and in the case of xu/nji sexist#it's probably less bad through a western lens bc they might look like outliers but it's :// especially the 'inherentness' to it#I still like reading it despite its flaws I wouldn't read nonetheless but ehhhh
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astrobydalia · 9 months
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more observations (lost count)✨
Hello guys! Life's been crazy lately and I barely have time to make any of the master posts I wanted to, so you'll be getting lost of observation posts that I've been collecting in my drafts for the past months. As always, enjoy!
❗️long post
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work by astrobydalia
✨ Sagittarius and Aquarius are so fucking similar. Both of them are chaotic af, love their freedom and think they're smarter than everyone else. People who have both of these in their big 6 have the most unhinged
✨ Libra is WAY more obsessed with perfection than Virgo
✨ Whenever I had Libra or Taurus ASC on my Solar return chart I was lazy AS FUCK. I had no motivation to work whatsoever during those years, all I wanted to do was vibe and enjoy life. I also felt very relaxed and stress-free, when difficulties came I just went with the flow
✨ What is up with Gemini risings and always feeling intellectually insecure all the time? Literally their #1 insecurity is feeling like they are dumb or like they’re not good enough for highly abstract and intellectual tasks/professions. They come across as someone immature who lacks wisdom or has a superficial/simplistic view of things. I feel like this is because they attract people who are a bit of know-it-alls (Sagittarius DSC) and they have a reputation for being scattered-brained (Pisces 10th house) so people tent to infantilize them a lot.
^^^But let me tell you this not true at all, Gemini risings are some of the most brilliant people I’ve met with so much potential. Their problem is that they allow overthinking to get the best of them and end up doubting themselves 24/7. These are the type of people who have amazing ideas but they never pursue any them. They really struggle making decisions for themselves, they always need to ask for opinions first which is not a bad thing but this makes them come across as incapable or as someone who lacks self-sufficiency
✨ Mercurial signs (Virgo and Gemini) like to focus on concrete things and immediate reality, they process life by connecting one thing at a time and taking info as it comes, they focus on what's going on around them cause Mercury is all about multiplicity and details. With Jupiter signs on the other hand (Sag and Pisces) one thing about them is they don't care about details as long as things make sense as a whole, they see life from a more broad and general perspective, they prefer having a birds eye view of things because Jupiter is all about expansion and therefore it likes to encompass many things at once. This is why Virgo and Gemini rule mundane life themes and immediate reality while Sag and Pisces are more about general life lessons and higher knowledge
✨ Scorpio moons/8th house moons are the definition of an energy vampire fr. They just have a really poor understanding of healthy emotional boundaries, they expect you to give your all but aren't willing to reciprocate and always turn everything into a manipulation or mind game somehow which makes it pretty exhausting to be around them in the long run. Don't get me wrong, most of the ones I’ve met were very and good people but they always end up taking my energy away and make me feel emotionally burnt out
✨ Mercury-Mars aspects have this "it is what it is" mentality and really dislike over complicating things by reading too deep into them. They tend to think things exactly as they seem. This does not mean they're simplistic, on the contrary this makes them surprisingly insightful fast thinkers and are not the type to be easily fooled
✨ I've seen people saying that hard aspects between Mercury-Pluto makes people misunderstand your words. This is not true, this happens with Neptune cause Neptune rules delusion, but Pluto is a very blunt and straightforward planet cause it's all about revealing the dark truths. Mercury-Pluto aspects makes someone very deliberate with their words and they know exactly what to say to make their message stick. You will understand their words exactly how they want you to understand them. What happens with hard aspects is that the native tends to have a more provocative approach in the things they say, they don't care if you're offended by what they say as long as what they say makes an impact. People can misunderstand their intentions because of this, but not their words
✨ The ironic thing about Aquarius placements is that they are very good when it comes to connecting with the masses, the public usually feels very drawn to them because they're very good at appealing to collective values which makes them come across as relatable to many people as a result. However, when you actually try to relate to them or connect one-on-one, you will find yourself with someone that is surprisingly elusive, distant and more distrustful than Scorpio placements which is a huge contrast from the welcoming vibe they give off to the public. I've found that the only way you will get close to an Aquarius placements is on THEIR terms lmao, if they've decided they like you, it'll be them who will approach you and/or make the effort to engage with you
✨ A reocurring thing I've seen with Virgo placements is that they really dislike big changes and prefer to stay in control. I think this is not mentioned often cause it's kinda weird to say that about a mutable sign, but Virgos being mercury+earth ruled they feel comfortable relying on facts, data, observations, etc and they use all this tangible info to navigate reality, that's why they rule daily life and routines because they invest a lot of their energy on factually understanding and categorizing their reality (earth signs in general are very attached to the tangible). Their mutable nature shows in that they easily use their knowledge to adapt, find solutions and fix what’s wrong but when they are in situations where these "categories" prove to be useless (aka Pisces themes), they get very triggered cause that means they no longer have control of their reality
✨ That being said another reoccurring thing I’ve noticed with Virgo placements is that they love to predict things. But not in a mystical sense it’s more like they enjoy understanding things in such way that they’re able to easily put a label on them and easily predict what’s going on or how something works
✨ I have not seen a single Taurus placement who didn’t have the most insanely sexy and pleasant voice ever. Doesn’t matter if they sing of not, just hearing their voice is so delightful
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✨ Aquarius Mercury really believe their opinions are the most ultimate and correct opinions out there. They are certain that their judgment is always 100% objective (aka always true) so in their mind if you slightly disagree with them that means you’re mediocre, dumb or narrow-minded.
✨ There's always a duality in all mutable signs. Sagittarius can be very humorous and optimistic but also very dark and profound. Gemini can be curious and chaotic but also very analytical and logical. Virgo can be picky and perfectionistic but also very permissive and conformist. Pisces can be very compassionate and wise but also very detached and clueless
✨ Neptune does not do well in air houses/signs at all simply because air energy rules (different types of) information and connections, while Neptune is all delusion and confusion. Also air energy is purely cerebral and rational while Neptune appeals to the unconscious
✨ I have not fact-checked this but I feel like it's safe to say that Mars rules testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone associated to violence or impulsive behavior, sex drive, red blood cells (blood), masculinity, etc That's literally all mars
✨ People always talk about how Capricorn moons have had a rough life but I've noticed this is also very true for Sagittarius Moons?? Responsibilities are not imposed on them like Capricorn, in their case they have to build up wisdom about life through pure and raw experience without anyone giving them a heads up or any pointers first, that's why they grow up feeling like they're fully on their own. Things work out for them at the end but they always have most MESSY life experience it's really crazy
✨ Both domicile and afflicted Mars are ambitious and determined but the main difference is that Libra/Taurus/Cancer Mars need to find some type of enjoyment or fulfillment in their goals in order to get motivated while Capricorn/Aries/Scorpio Mars find motivation in the challenge and endure through stuff they don't find pleasant
✨ From what I've seen males with Scorpio placements are very superficial and will gaslight as a lifestyle. They are the type of people who look the other way or brush things off or never takes anything seriously and I've noticed they do this so they never have to take accountability.
✨ Neptune/Pisces energy either gives “glamorous and ethereal” vibes or “weird in an extremely cringe way” vibes, there’s no in-between
✨ A reoccurring thing I've noticed with those who have Chiron in Taurus/2nd house or Chiron-Venus is that they often have dubious morality or double standards because they don't have a solid values
✨ Every single Libra Moon/rising female I’ve met embodied the material girl stereotype. They really have this “instagram girl” vibes to them if that makes sense
✨ Those with Sagittarius in the 5th house can actually find a lot of joy and happiness in becoming parents or they have a lot of fun with children
✨ Scorpio Mars can't stand not knowing what's going on around them and at first I thought this was bc they were suspicious/paranoid but then I realized it’s because they’re just controlling as shit. They come across as very chill and care fee but they’re actually SUPER controlling dude. Even when they know for sure that they can trust you and you’re doing nothing wrong they still want to keep taps on you and won’t leave you alone. They won't bluntly violate your privacy but will still find ways to always know what you're up to
✨ The resentful and spiteful stereotype associated to Scorpio actually belongs to Leo placements imo. They can be very reactive and childish when you insult their ego and will make it very known that they won't let it go
✨ Cancer North Node people always have some sort of issue or inner conflict with of having kids. They feel drawn to the idea of becoming a parent but deep down they low-key don't? I've also seen many women with this placement who had fertility issues
I have the theory that these natives are conflicted in this topic because they see family as an achievement or a societal expectation (Capricorn south node) so in this life time they have to know what it's like to desire a family for the right reasons and not because they feel like they 'should'
✨ Capricorn risings really are hyper-aware of their public image and how others perceive them. That's why they always end up becoming very popular and respected, cause they know very well where they "stand" publicly so they know how to successfully curate their own reputation. It's not surprising to see this placement a lot in celebrities
✨ Pluto in the 12th house are genuinely unsure of who they can trust which leads to a lot of paranoia and projection. The type to ignore the most obvious red flags but then automatically doubt your loyalty cus you spoke in a suspicious tone
✨ Pisces/12th house placements 🤝 disappearing. Y’all shit on Gemini for ghosting but have you ever met a pisces/12th houser?
✨ Saturn in 5th house people had parents (namely father) who were overly critical of them and their self-expression. Doesn’t necessarily mean they were unsupportive of the native but they were quite hard on the native’s creativity
✨ I've seen a lot of bullies/mean girls have Aquarius placements. Honorable mentions: virgo, Leo, libra
✨ Neptune-ASC people are really good at making themselves invisible when they want and/or making parts of themselves go completely unnoticed even if they're bluntly obvious. I've noticed they actually get away with a lot cause they have this tendency to not be accurately seen by others if that makes sense
✨ Neurodivergent individuals usually have Mercury harshly aspecting (conjunction, square, opposition and inconjuction) Uranus and Saturn. Said Mercury is more often than not in a water house/sign/degree or in Aries. Of course not everyone with these aspects will be neurodivergent, but it's just a pattern I've seen
✨ Pluto-ASC people most of the times fail to have a lighthearted view towards life. They always want to look beyond the surface of things which doesn't really allow them to enjoy life as it is. They often get a reputation for looking too deep into everything and in turn the Pluto-asc native often sees others as superficial
✨ Virgo risings are huge conformist and won’t go after anything that’s outside their immediate boundaries. They only make an effort towards things that are accessible and will quickly lose interest in anything that has difficult availability or requires them to go way out of their comfort zone. They're overall pretty self-serving.
✨ I know several people diagnosed with OCD. All of them have Virgo AND 6th house placements, 22º in their big 3, Scorpio Mercury/Moon and Mercury dominance
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mayfieldss · 9 months
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If only you could know - Carmen Berzatto
Content Warnings; pining, language, unrequited affection, boss x employee relationship, not beta read or spell checked, small fights and sexual innuendos. fem reader mentions and out of character Carmy because I wrote this at 2am and couldn't think straight at all. (there are so many Gracie Abrams references in here in here omg)
Summary: Carmy admires you, but he doesn't have the guts to say it, for one reason only; he doesn't think you like him like that.
Reblogs and comments are appreciated! Support your writers!
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Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto is an anxious mess. He's just met a girl, and she's just ripped him open, leaving him to wonder just how he can get her attention again. Carmen Berzatto doesn't think it's real when said girl applies for a job. When she lists off her skills and hands in her resume.
Carmen Berzatto is an anxious mess, and he doesn't know why.
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Carmy couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was about you that captivated him. Whether it was the way you smiled or the way you talked. Or maybe the way you'd looked at him like he was a person worth knowing. Or maybe it was the little things, like how you fiddled with your hands when nervous, and laughed at every bad joke Richie told just to make the man feel better.
Carmy didn't mean to do any of it—notice the little things. But somehow his gaze would stick to you, his brain committing to memory every frown of confusion or concentration, every small smile he could win from you. He didn't mean to do any of it, but somehow he couldn't stop.
You'd been working with him for about a week when he sat down with you for lunch, pushing around the food on his plate as he tried not to stare. You'd asked him a million questions, each one crazier than the last, but they didn't bother him. You said things in a way that made his emotions run high, and he answered everything with a small smile on his lips. You spoke to him about what others would deem insignificant in his career, and not the big achievements that overshadowed who he was as a person. Not the challenges that came with harsh memories, the pressure to be the best. You asked him how he felt about things and what he liked most. And the best part of it was that you really did want to know. You wanted to know him, and somehow that left his mind muddled and his heart racing.
By the first month, Carmy had almost lost his mind. He hid it well and didn't treat you any differently from the others, but when work was slow or he had seconds to spare, he would shift his eyes to you. The way you worked, moved fast without a single missed step when you were focused, and the awkward laughs as you stumbled or dropped something when you were not. Carmy admired you, even when he wasn't trying to. Hell, he even loved the way you cursed, betting money on your wins during your fights with Richie.
But Carmy didn't want to freak you out, and he didn't want to freak himself out either. He didn't have time for relationships in the past, and he'd never had a second to think about someone the way he thought of you. Was it weird for him to be flooded with concern when you didn't seem like yourself? Was he odd for memorizing the way you moved?
Carmy didn't like to avoid things, but he had a talent for it, especially when the things he was avoiding happened to include indescribable emotions. He knew it was a bad idea to cut you out slowly, but it was what he knew. He'd done it time and time again, separating himself from the people he cared for in order to escape. In order to keep himself safe. What He didn't take into consideration was how quickly you would notice.
Carmy didn't push you away completely of course. He still had to work with you, every single day, but he stopped seeking you out, making excuses to talk to you. When you spoke to him he began giving simplistic answers that brought conversations to an end faster than usual, and he hoped that in blocking small pieces of you out, he could get over you.
It was horrible caring for someone so deeply, he thought. It was almost like a form of torture, an endless cycle of wondering, and hoping that the person you're chasing might feel something similar. Might care just as much. But Carmy couldn't let it get that far. He couldn't bring himself to ask you, to press the subject, especially when he hadn't made any attempts himself to show you how he felt.
With each conversation he cut short, and each seat he took during family that wasn't by your side, he felt you slipping just a little. But not in the way he wanted. His feelings stayed, even with his battle to suppress them, and the only thing he seemed to be breaking was the chances of you sharing said emotions. You stopped trying to initiate interaction and kept communication professional. And suddenly the silences that shouted between you seemed so much louder than before. Everything that went unspoken became a painful reminder of everyone Carmy had lost in his past, and every day you drifted further from his grasp.
Carmy spent two weeks hoping that his feelings would go away, but it seemed to make things worse. He tried not to focus on you, and whilst he was succeeding he began to feel dejected. He missed the way you talked, how on late nights during clean up deep in conversation, you would cry over certain obsessions you had. Happy tears accompanied by laughs of course, and the awkward smile you would share as bright red embarrassment flooded your face. He missed the strands of hair that would fall from where you'd clipped it back, how they would float about your face like a frame.
He doesn't understand any of it, and he doesn't know how he's supposed to go about his days pretending that none of it matters. He doesn't want to care, he doesn't want to feel warmth creep up his neck when you meet his eyes for longer than a few seconds. He doesn't know anything, and neither do you. You don't know just how hard it is for him to avoid you, completely oblivious to the fact he would let you take up all his time.
He spares a glance at you as you leave for the night, sky dark above you as you step out into the cold, and he knows then that he would let you ruin all his days.
He thinks about that for another week, letting it sink in that he would feel more than comfortable handing you his whole life. It's been little over a year since he met you, since something clicked inside of him at the realisation that you were unlike anyone he'd ever met. That you were somehow the person that made him feel comfortable in his own skin. He didn't have to be anyone else. He didn't have to be the best chef in the world for you to care.
But still, he couldn't say it, and all he could do was watch you drift further and further from him, the tides of his fear tugging you back. It's Tina who snaps him out of it, bringing him back to earth, to the restaurant and to himself.
"Jeff, what is wrong with you?" She's stood in the doorway of his office just before closing, arms folded and a brow raised in disapproval.
Carmy doesn't understand her, and honestly he never really has, but he gets one thing, she's disappointed. "Did I do something wrong?" He turns in his chair to face her properly as he talks, curious and confused.
"I see how you look at her," Tina starts, casting her eyes out of the room for a moment as if to check no one is coming. "Why do you push her away?"
"Who exactly are we talking about here?" Carmy asks, knowing well enough where this is going. He's running out of time to come up with excuses and he doesn't think he has any left to give.
"You know who," Tina sends him a frown, "she really liked you, you know. And now," she pauses contemplating whether she should tell Carmy exactly what she knows.
Now Carmy is even more confused, and suddenly his heart is beating a little faster in his chest. Each second of silence is an aching weight on his ability to breathe, and yet Tina still fails to continue.
"And now what, Tina? What's going on?" He tries not to seem so affected by her pause, her deliberation, but it's scaring him and he needs the answer.
Tina, in the end, can see his desperation, a long sigh passing from her lips as sympathy overtakes her features. It's rare for her to show him such care, and that makes it all much worse when she gives in.
"Now she thinks you hate her."
Carmy leans forward in his chair, a hand over his mouth as it sinks in. How the avoidance he started, created a rift just like it always does. How he sent you signals that perhaps ruined your view of him altogether. He hates himself for it because he doesn't think he could ever hate you, and yet you seem to think that's all he can do.
"How long? How long has she felt like this?" carding a hand through his hair, Carmy can't find it in himself to sit still, knee bobbing up and down as his eyes flit from Tina, to the floor.
"It's been a while, Jeff." She can tell he cares and her words come softly, as if breaking the news of the loss of a loved one. In a way that's exactly what this is.
"Is she still here?" Carmy finds himself standing, waiting for the answer with very little patience.
"She's leaving now, you might be able to catch her on the way out, but no guarantees." Tina steps to the side, allowing Carmy to rush straight out the door of the office. You're not in the kitchen and by the time he makes it to the register you're nowhere to be found, but the bell atop the store door is still swinging with the weight of it's most recent ring, and he hopes it's a sign that you're right outside.
Carmen Berzatto is an anxious mess, and as he pushes himself out the door he knows why.
When he lays his eyes on you you're walking away, bag over your shoulder and jacket wrapped tight around your body. It takes him at least three seconds to call out, and when you turn it starts to sink in.
"Can we talk?" It's hard for him to say, especially after all the time he's spent trying to avoid this conversation and by the looks of it, you aren't so eager to be in this situation either. But even so, you nod, sending him a smile. It's somewhat fake and that says something in itself, that Carmy can tell the difference between that of your falsified happiness and your real joy.
It takes him a moment, and the silence between you is like a stone dropped into a lake, sinking deeper and deeper into the both of you with every second. "I'm sorry if I've been distant." he's taking it slow, hoping that perhaps a confession isn't needed just yet. But there's seems to be no change in you, and the dip of your brows makes you seem so tired.
"Did Tina put you up to this?" You sound just as exhausted as you look, and the eye contact Carmy holds with you is both soothing and stressful.
"She told me some things," he admits "but I'm here because I want to be." Carmen is fiddling nervously with his fingers, trying to act as though this isn't difficult for him to do. He's looking at you properly for the first time in months, acknowledging you and taking in everything he missed. The details he used to scan over every day are still the same, and he finds the peace in you that he always has, even now. "I don't hate you. I don't think it's possible for me to do that." He laughs with the last part, anxiety creeping through into the sound.
"Carmen, I understand it's not possible for everyone to like me, and I'm not mad at you. You're trying to be my boss, not my friend." You try for a smile again, a weak one that seems to hurt Carmy rather than send comfort through his veins.
He finds himself frowning, and the disbelief of it all consumes him entirely as he listens to you, processing your words like they are knives that slash toward his heart. "That's not...I didn't mean for—" He's an awkward stuttering mess, just like when he was a kid. He was afraid to speak his mind back then, but he can't live in his past anymore. "I don't hate you, and you've got it all wrong."
"Have I? Because it sure doesn't feel like it." You shift your bag further onto your shoulder, and Carmy can tell you're uncomfortable. He hates that he's the cause of it.
"I'm sorry, for ignoring you, distancing myself, but I don't hate you and I need you to know that." He combs a hand over his hair again, his eyes locked to yours as he remembers just how easy it was to get lost within you. How easy it still is to do so. "I don't know why I thought cutting you out would help, and it was selfish."
"Did I do something wrong?"
"What, No—" He goes to defend you, to excuse his actions in fire of stuttered words, but you cut him off, your eyebrows knitting together in a frown.
"You said cutting me out would help, Carmy. Help with what? What did I do?"
And there it was, the slip-up that was inescapable, the forced hand of Carmy's emotions and the checkmate of his story. He stands there, unsure and frozen until you scoff in disbelief. "I'm tired Carmy, I'm going home."
You go to turn around, and for a second Carmy thinks about letting you leave. Perhaps that would give him time, push back the inevitable until he can find the confidence to say it all. But Carmy isn't that stupid, and letting you leave will be the end of it all if he does.
"I'd let you ruin my fucking life."
That makes you stop like a statue in the street, paused in utter disorientation, and Carmy is scared out of his mind. But he thinks of Michael, what he would say had he seen his brother so damn terrified of something that might change him forever, the three words he always said. And suddenly Carmy has got to say everything. His hands shake and his thoughts are scaling the walls of his brain, but he manages. He pushes through.
"I'd let you ruin my whole life, and I don't know how the fuck else to describe it." The cold night air does nothing to calm his nerves, and he can feel the heat creeping up his neck, into his face. "There's something about you that just—it tears me apart and, fuck!" Carmy's hands find their way to his hair as if pulling at it in frustration will do any good. He paces. He paces as if that will help bring the words to his lips, as if that will help him take it all back. As if each step will give him a second chance to do things right. Why can't he do anything right?
"You're just so—" he can't find the word, stuck in the limbo of his own vocabulary, and finally he turns to you in defeat, hoping the sight of you will provide an answer. It does, in a way, help him form a sentence, though it's not the one he'd originally planned. "You're just so fucking real. It's like I'm surrounded by all this goddamn plastic all the time, like everything is just going so fast and I can't hold on to any of it. And I've been trying to find something real, something stable my whole life. And I guess that's why you fuck with my head."
The air around Carmy seems muted, and the fact you're left speechless with nothing to say to him is perhaps the entire reason he didn't tell you any of this in the first place. He'd caught you off guard, bombarding you with a more than unprofessional conversation, and now he's sure you'll run. You'll run from him, from the restaurant and find some new place to spend your days. Away from him, from his messed up life.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry," He's trying to cover for himself, or perhaps he's only talking to fill the deafening silence "I shouldn't have dumped that on you, that wasn't professional I just—" Carmy goes quiet. Not because he doesn't have more to say—he has plenty more apologies to let loose, and yet he's silent. He's occupied now, lips busy as they press against yours and he doesn't quite know what's happening. You'd moved forward so fast, hands on his shoulders, and mid-sentence Carmy felt himself stop breathing. Because you kissed him and after the initial shock of it all, he found himself kissing you back. You had intended it to be a short kiss, a simple peck just to keep him quiet, but before you could even think of pulling away Carmy pulled you back for more. He didn't even mean to do it, the subconscious decision to pull you closer being only a minuscule part of his concerns. The worst part is that Carmy doesn't know if he's doing any of it right. He doesn't know if he should be doing this at all—kissing a co-worker like it's his last day on earth—but he is. The feel of your hands on his shoulders, and his own on the sides of your face, is all so new, but he doesn't hate it. Not in the slightest.
When he pulls back it's awkward, and the quiet, panicked chuckle that leaves you seems so different to the stunned silence he stands in. He is still so close to you, and his hands have yet to leave the sides of your face. He's waiting for you to ask for space, to move away, but you don't.
"That wasn't professional of me at all." You speak so quietly, almost in a whisper and somehow, the sound of your voice, combined with such ridiculous words makes him smile.
"I started it, so I guess the blames on me."
You shake your head, eyes falling downward in embarrassment before you look back up at him, and Carmy hasn't seen that look on your face before. He doesn't know what it means, but by the softest upturn of your lips, and the way you press your cheek a little further into the palm of his hand, he dares to take a guess and assume that maybe, the way your eyes are scanning over him is a good thing. "I kissed you first." You mutter, letting out a small huff of breath as if you can't believe it.
"But I kissed you back." He adds "So technically, we're both part of the problem."
You laugh, and Carmy lets himself do the same, because, for the first time in a long time, he can let the weight that was bringing him down, fade away.
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THE BEAR TAGLIST: empty
GENERAL TAGLIST:
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skyeblue8 · 6 months
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Ɗᥙҽ 𝜏σ ᙏყ Ɲҽɯ⨍σᥙɳԃ Ƒιχα𝜏ισɳ... ♚
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Specifically with the Gluttonous Sin of Beelzebub being my favorite Sin of the group (not necessarily in Helluva Boss, but just in general), I wanted to make a ranking list of my favorite Queen Bee redesigns and their creators for really no other reason than I just feel like it. Now, this is all personal opinions and should not be taken to heart by any means, it's just for fun:
#1. "Beelzebub & Bibi" by @gravcore
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♡ In terms of an actual redesign of the original, I love how this artist made "Bibi" because, for one thing, they made sense of the originals hair by giving her a ponytail since way too many characters have a mohawk style (Loona included); two, I cannot explain just how much I adore the clothes they gave her. The top is actually insect based and gorgeous, and not some recolor version of Loona's outfit; and third, they made canon Bee her own character rather than a royal because nothing about the OG read "Ancient Sin" to anybody.
♡ Now, in terms of the actually Beelzebub, here, she's legitimately stunning. Rather than a redesign, I can tell this was the original long before the Queen Bee episode came out, and I love how it reads both "70's party girl" and "regal ruler" all in one. That, and the actual bug design aspect and the color scheme. Above all else, I love how they incorporated the lava stomach in her design, too.
#2. "Beelzebub" by @s3tok41b4
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♡ This design can best be described as a literal re-imagine of the canon Beelzebub as it shares almost all her similarities with the actual bug aspect to it that it desperately needed. It's legitimately simplistic but still appealing to the eye, futher showing us that Viv was perfectly capable of making something so simple, but actively chose to make it more confusing than it had to be.
#3. "Beelzebub" by @ruinxl0ve
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♡ Similar to the first two, this shares both a regal and party girl bug aesthetic with the added bonus of actually being highly beautifully expressive despite not even having a mouth. I feel this beautifully differentiates the design from the original while also making it recognizable and I feel that it kinda feeds into the original concept that Queen Bee could literally "feel the vibe", hinting to her being an empath in some manner.
#4. "The Three Bees" by @onehelluvatime
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♡ Long story short, these are three individual versions of the Queen Bee and her new placing within the Hellaverse outside of the canon one. For more in-depth explanation of these interpretations, it's best to check the blog yourself. Truly, I love these designs not only because of the visual redesigns themselves, but also the well-crafted and creative explanations and backgrounds regarding these characters. I especially like the idea that the hellhounds within society are half-undead with skull-like appendages and facial aspects.
#5. "Spontaneous Beelzebub" by @redd-byrd
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♡ I know it's essentially the same as the canon design, but with the small tweaks that were made to this one (the giant "Bee Butt", the added black lines, the actual bug-like wings, the blue-thin eyes), all of them give a more clear indication (at least to me) that this Bee is more higher up than her fellow hellhounds, meaning she looks a lot more like a hybrid thus making her more grand. It's nice how they added these small details for improvement while still essentially leaving the design like its original.
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Anyway, thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. Have a nice day!
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absolutebl · 3 months
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Best 23 of BL 2023 - Quirky Awards
SHOCK & AWE AWARDS
1. Biggest BL surprise of 2023:
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The last 3 months of 2023 in general got my biggest WTF award.
GMMTV fielding OffGun AND TayNew in the same quarter while also airing Last Twilight (arguably one of their best BLs ever)
That they ALSO optioned 3 JBLs
That there's a high heat omegaverse BL staring Pavel
That there were 20 BLs airing and none of them Korean.
With 5 VAMPIRE BLs announced for next year
But my prize in this category goes to My Dear Gangster Oppa.
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It's just crazy:
Thai talent, Korean money + IP (this is adapted from a manwha) airing on a Chinese channel (iQIYI). Plus it was GOOD and made smart reuse of a pair who richly deserved it. I'm delighted by the eclectic insanity of this production. And wonder if any other film genre could even do anything like this.
2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:
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The 8th Sense from Korea?!
I mean, seriously?! Dealing with metal health, suicide, darkness, therapy, age gap, & first time love BUT FROM KOREA? And then openness and casual boyfriend physical affection? What's next? An actual hard fought coming out narrative with an HEA? Gay domesticity and families?
Careful Korea, you'll strain something. Possibly your own culture and film industry.
I should stop having expectations of Korea, they keep surprising me.
Runners up: Korea letting OnlyOneOf do Bump Up Business not to mention that OmegaX thing. AND Korea adapting Why R U? What are you up to, Korea? Qua? Is this a coded message? Should we send help? Do you need snacks?
3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:
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GeminiFourth in My School President.
Seriously? Babies what? How did GMMTV find you? How do you exist? How is BL this lucky?
4. That studio did WHAT now? award:
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GMMTV putting EarthMix into Moonlight Chicken.
And then doubling down with G4 as the damn sides.
Fucking genius.
5. I’m sad you were ignored award:
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Destiny Seeker.
It's just a really fun little Thai pulp, the pairs were good, silly dialogue, plus consent and other good rep. I enjoyed it. No one talked about it AT ALL.
6. 2023 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?
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Laws of Attraction. -The casting, the crazy story, the soapy drama! But specifically: Film playing Charn - the range of his smiles alone. GLORIOUS
I mean I Feel You Linger in the Air also sparked something in me, but LoA drove me actually nuts.
NARRATIVE AWARDS
7. Best story 2023:
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La Pluie
I know, you're surprised, right? At the time I didn't chat much about it but I really enjoyed the discourse others were having. I love anything that really examines the fated mates (soulmates) trope and the idea of "the one". What a clever way to do that. (This is one reason UWMA is my favorite Thai BL.)
This one reminded me of the way Color Rush approached allegory and that's no bad thing. Such an impressive little piece.
8. Best narrative structure 2023 award:
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Unintentional Love Story.
I know this may seem a simplistic pick. But I love the tidiness of this no frills contemporary romance, how the culture of work and personal ethics and corruption fight against the main character's affection and integrity. Poor baby boy is driven into a corner and then punished for it. But it is punishment he feels he deserves, and so it is up to his (now) ex to figure out what went wrong and why.
It's just great. I love it when no one is stupid or wrong, it's just impossible circumstances and unintentional love deeply felt.
9. Best 2023 dialogue (script) award:
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Jun & Jun
Never before has Korea laced a BL with that much perfectly executed innuendo. It was a master class. I didn't know you could be that lascivious in Korean, quite frankly. Plus the way the 2 Juns constantly seamlessly transition between formal register (work, public - where they are boss/employee) to informal register (when they are alone and age mates + childhood sweethearts).
Beautiful to hear and watch.
10. Favorite scene 2023:
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The dub con scene in I Cannot Reach You because I AM TRASH for an out of control seme. I'm sorry I just AM.
I have said it before, I will say it again, NO ONE DOES THIRST like Japan. And when that thirst bubbles over, it is heart-clenching and very hot.
11. The most rewatchable BL of 2023 award:
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Our Dating Sim
That scene where they lie on the floor + the stolen kiss + giggle? Come on, it should be on comfort repeat in war rooms. It could bring world peace.
ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS
12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role, 2023:
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Fluke in Make a Wish.
It was fun to see him as an irreverent immortal and while I love OhmFluke I also really enjoyed this new pairing. It was a genuine pleasure to watch.
13. Best pining 2023:
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The moot pining in Tokyo in April is...
Boys, seriously? Japan must you destroy us like this? Hurts so good.
14. Best wingman 2023 (The Namgoong Award)
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Tiw from My School President
I mean, come on, of course it's him!
(Also can you believe Mark went on from this to do fricking Only Friends!? To Last Twilight! Come on GMMTV GIVE HIM A LEAD!)
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15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!
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Dimpled McMafia & Feral Bunny Foo Foo from Kiseki Dear to Me.
They were feral for each other.
We were feral for them
It was a whole delightful THING.
16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:
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The Private Lessons pair showing up in Love Class 2.
I know it was only a cameo, but SERIOUSLY? Thank you SO MUCH Korea! A big studio picking up a Strongberry pairing? I love you.
Seriously tho between them, Taiwan & Korea tried for ALL THE CAMEOS this year.
17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:
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NetJames in Bed Friend.
Need I say more?
18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
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Bah Vinh in Vian & Mr Cinderella 2. I did like either show but I loved him in them. Especially the make outs.
Yes you have chemistry with all the boys in Vietnam and you kiss beautifully. But it's okay now honey, you have the crown. Relax, you're stressing us out.
RANDOM PICKS
19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2023:
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Our Dating Sim
Caught in the act by the elevator scene. OMG it's so funny. They're being such boyfriend shits to each other, and to be caught in the act by THAT character, and try to manifest formal language whole cloth? Hilarious.
Honorable mention to War Peanuts in Destiny Seeker.
20. Biggest disappointment of 2023:
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You Are Mine
Seriously Taiwan, AGAIN you disappoint me with an Office BL? You're Taiwan, land of offices and suits. This should be YOUR SETTING TO WIN. And yet... argh. I mean it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good either. Stop it Taiwan, do better.
Runners up? Between Us, Chains of Heart, Dangerous Romance - this was a HOTLY contested category.
+ 2 Winners in the sub-category of FUCK YOU FOR THAT ENDING award:
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The Director who Buys Me Dinner - I mean this nicely but: you have your lane now Korea, stop hurting us, that's Japan's responsibility and they do it better.
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I Feel You Linger In the Air - I'm just hugely disappointed. Thailand ALMOST got its second 10/10 from me, but that damn ending.
Argh.
21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023
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The shower of packaged bedsheets in My Personal Weatherman
Amazing. Brilliant. No notes.
22. Best Queer Rep 2023
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Chot in Step By Step
In fact, all the queer characters in this show were treated with great integrity.
AND props to this cast for refusing to do fan service. GOOD FOR YOU! Fuck those sasang wankers.
Runners up? The found family cast of Love in Translation and the Rainbow Rice Cakes in The New Employee.
23. Best Meta Trope call out
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Tin Tem Jai
Come on, what a zinger, but at themselves (and Taiwan)
Final question: which of the 23 was the hardest for me to pick?
Honestly? Question #1 this year. But also question #20.
(Last year: 2022's Version) 
Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2023. Or The Sign probably would have taken multiple categories. But it will fall into 2024 offerings.
(source)
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donelywell · 4 months
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October 5 2023
I changed things up because it's got Frontiers Final Horizons Spoilers. I know the updates been out for like 2 months now but I'm being really cautious.
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Super Sonic was really fun to play in the base game, having the auto combo thing on and just seeing so much bombastic energy and over the top moves being thrown at giant titans was so much fun.
I did however, not read the instructions where they tell you to hold the parry, I thought it was a perfect timing thing like a normal parry. So fighting Giganto and Wyvern for the first time was a nightmare for me until I actually read the instructions. =v='
For the design, I didn't change much, Super Sonic is really cool. I basically just changed the green parts of his shoes to red to reflect his new eye color.
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Super Sonic² was so cool! The casual backhand slap, the sass, the move where he basically does the idw move, the finger point when he gets back in the game!
The only issue I had is that I didn't understand at all how to fight the final boss. I didn't 100% complete the map so I didn't get the hints. (I am still stuck on the stupid ball hoop map puzzle thing, I swear there is no way to do it) So unfortunately, I had to look up a guide. That kinda dampened the experience, but there was no way I was fighting Supreme over again, getting to the same glitch because I killed him too fast, and then fail the final boss fight again because I didn't know I was supposed to press r2.
I made his quills seem like they are turning into flames at the tips, I made his torso kinda have a sun symbol on it, I made his secondary fur white and his base fur/ quills bright yellow to kinda give it more sun imagery. His arm patterns are a little more detailed, his gloves have kinda formed into the body, making the cuffs look like they're on fire too. His socks turned into bandages and blue rings floating on him with the soles of his shoes kinda smoking on the back. It was a lot of fun interpreting this design differently, giving it a more ancient vibe with a modern twist. The original design is still really cool too!
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Cyber Super Sonic... one of the coolest forms in my opinion and yet we see him for less than a minute in only a cutscene. I'm not complaining, the cutscene was so cool! Me and my sibling were star struck when we saw it!
I love the Fleetway elements! The sharp teeth, the crazy eyes, the chaotic behavior that almost made it seem like if Cyber Super Sonic wasn't being literally shot out to his enemy, he'd not be able to tell between friend or foe! God, it was so cool!! Even if it was just limited to a cutscene where you can barely see the entire design in a single image!
I did actually have a static version of this image too, but I'm not including it because it gave me eye strain, and I don't want to hurt you.
For the form I actually decreased the amount of polygons on Sonic. If you look, he's more angular & simplistic and his legs and arms are rectangles! I thought it'd help give him more of a Cyber Computer vibe. I used the blue static and made it kinda an accent color so you can see where things are. I don't really know why, but I also made some parts of him detached? The inside parts have the white spirals that Cyber Super Sonic's eyes were.
The update was a lot of fun to play when it came out, even if it was EXTREMELY challenging for a casual player like myself. Almost made me quit a few times and a couple guides were begrudgingly looked up. Playing as Tails and Amy were definitely the highlights of the update for me though. I hope it was as much fun for you as it was for me. :)
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