#I mostly ask this as a joke but if anyone is down for this...
I think a lot about the Concept of ‘choices that matter’ in video games. Like, in terms of what it is that makes a choice ‘really matter’, what do we perceive as a choice that matters or has a consequence, how do different games with different amounts of branching or non-branching storylines play with those ideas… Especially because Undertale is one of my favorite games of all time, and it has often been hyped as ‘a game where your choices REALLY matter’ and… honestly, I dunno if all of this hype was fully conducive to Undertale. Because the way it handles the concept of Video Game Choices is actually a lot more interesting and complex than that simplistic descriptor makes it seem.
Because Undertale actually has a lot of choices that ‘don’t really matter’! Lots of dialogue choices and silly little decisions that on a first playthrough seem like they’re some sort of moral choice or a branching plotline but end up always leading to basically the same result regardless of what you do!
And the game doesn’t really try to hide the fact that these choices are kinda 'Fake'. I mean, on a first playthrough a player might assume there’s gonna be some Massive Consequences for picking the ‘wrong’ drink on Undyne’s date, but the game’s narrative expects for there to be multiple playthroughs and pretty much every Choice that Doesn’t Matter is peppered with that Undertale brand of wacky character-focused humor that inherently makes the moment memorable. Papyrus leading Undyne straight to you no matter what you do is basically a cross-timeline running gag.
On some level I see this as a sort of gag that serves as meta-commentary about the expectations around Choices That Matter in Video Games. As in, a lot of games have their Moral Choices happen in clearly easily marked ‘this is a Moral Choice!’ moments within the story, while the actual gameplay (and any violence the player might cause as part of said gameplay) is basically entirely divorced from any element of narrative-branching and doesn't effect the story at all. Undertale basically entirely inverts this dynamic; the most important factor for which Route you’re own is how you handle your FIGHTs, and what seems like clearly-marked and obvious Moral Choices are just goofy insubstantial minor changes in dialogue.
But also… there is also a level where you must ask yourself ‘what does it mean when we say that these choices Don’t Matter’. I mean, it’s not like they didn't change anything about the game, the Player still made the character say that other thing, the choice probably led to an alternate piece of dialogue, probably a joke with a call-back at the end of the game… The line between a one-off joke and an actual story-changing moment can be a little blurry if you look at it too deeply.
For example, near the end of the Waterfall part of the game, the Player is given the choice to save Monster Kid even at the risk of having to face down Undyne.
Pretty much anyone who isn’t deliberately trying to be an asshole is going to rush to save them and obviously that includes the Pacifist Route Players. But you can actually leave Monster Kid to die without it 'mattering' in the sense that it wouldn't divert you from the Pacifist Route. Undyne saves them instead of you, and ends up with slightly less HP for her battle (which might Matter for Runs when you try and FIGHT her but obviously not in Pacifist Runs) and… by the end of the game, during the extremely happy True Pacifist Ending, they still clearly remember that you abandoned them and are upset by it.
So… does saving Monster Kid ‘matter’ or not? On one hand, choosing not to save them mostly just changes a few lines of dialogue but… these lines of dialogue kinda recontextualize this happy ending and the Player’s actions in general. Despite the True Pacifist Ending otherwise portraying the Player/Frisk as a kind-hearted and brave hero... they still did this undeniably cowardly (and perhaps even cruel) act to one of their friends .
Was running away and leaving Monster Kid to die a brief but significant moment of weakness that the Player regrets and has cost them what could’ve been the start of a lovely friendship? Or is that simply that being a True Pacifist was always more of a matter of pragmatism rather than ideals? Were they only acting as a Pacifist to get that promised 'Best Ending', and only Monster Kid has an inkling they are not as heroic or kind as everyone thinks they are?
And then there’s the Snowman ‘quest’.
A free healing item given early in the game, with your mission being to carry it along in your inventory for as long as you can without ever consuming it. The only reward you will ever see from it is a few lines of dialogue…
But for many, it is more than enough of an incentive to preserve the Snowman’s Piece. You can do whatever you want with the Snowman without it ‘mattering’ in terms of Ending or consequences. You could carry it through all of your adventures with care and kindness... or you could eat it while he can’t see you and then go back to him and tell him that you ‘lost’ it and then get another piece and eat that as well, you could eat it right in front of his face, horrifying him.
And much like with Monster Kid, you can STILL get the True Pacifist Ending after doing that, all that would change is a few optional pieces of dialogue from the Snowman…
And a total recontextualization of the Player’s behavior and the ending. The Snowman sees the Player as a cruel and heartless person who is just pretending to be good so they can be liked - the way they acted with this immobile, powerless Snowman who could do nothing for them and their reputation reveals their true self. And he says their friends will realize that too one day...
Doing a True Reset on the Pacifist Ending is, by definition, a (almost) consequence-free action and yet it changes future Pacifist Routes immeasurably. Turning the Player into a Hypocrite doing the exact same thing they were trying to stop Flowey/Asriel from doing - trapping all of their friends into a time-loop so they can play with them forever while never actually letting them to enjoy freedom on the surface, simply because they are not willing to move on or put their friends' wishes and agency above their own. Nothing in the game actually changes, not one character can even suspect that you did something like that, and yet for the Player - this choice makes the entire Meaning of the game flip on its head.
Even the most famous and heavily-toted Big Consequence in the whole game - selling your soul to Chara after completing a Murder Route… mostly what it does is just… recontextualize the ending of the Game.
As a game, ‘Undertale’ is very much about the ways in which a Player engages with a game can radically recontextualize it. The huge chasm of difference between the Pacifist and Muder Routes is just the most literal example of it. But, in a way, even the tiny little Dialogue Options - where the lack of real choice and consequences is Obviously a Joke - matter. Because of the way they can recontextualize the Player Character’s behavior.
(Okay, maybe not this one, but hear me out…)
Do you trust Papyrus to not betray you, even after you spied on him with Undyne?
Do you have the integrity to admit you forgot something or got it wrong even when there’s no consequences for just lying about it?
Are you a hypocrite for trying to get Alphys to be truthful with Undyne only to then immediately turn around and lie to Undyne yourself?
None of these choices matter for the ending, some of them don’t even get, like, a call-back joke or anything, but… if you are engaged in this story as a narrative, if you are invested in these characters as if they were people, if you are honestly trying to be the best person you can be, if you are trying to self-reflect at the way you approach this game… even the silliest little dialogue option can suddenly be imbued with deep implications and you can make them matter.
Undertale is one of the best demonstrations of this concept, but this is absolutely not exclusive to it. For example….
‘Ace Attorney’ is pretty much as far away as you can get from a ‘branching narrative’ within the video game sphere. It is a heavily-linear Visual Novel where 70% of the time it won’t even let you talk to random characters at anything but the exact order it expects you to and any ‘Bad Endings’ are basically just glorified Game Over Screens. (... because this is the Internet and something something piss on the poor, I should probably specify that I am talking about ‘Ace Attorney’ because I love Ace Attorney and these are neutral descriptions of the game and not complaints. There’s nothing wrong with a game being linear.)
If there’s any Dialogue Choice in AA, it’s generally a very basic ‘right answer-wrong answer’ choice between Progress and a Penalty, or a total non-choice that just gets you to the same final result regardless. Except… Well… as we just talked about, getting to the same final result doesn’t necessarily mean a choice is ‘meaningless’, does it?
There’s actually a lot of great storytelling moments where Ace Attorney, despite its otherwise strict linearity, uses this exact sort of recontextualizing mindset I’ve talked about with Undertale to make choices with some really powerful emotional impact…. Even if technically, the ending is the same ending. It can be something as basic as ‘even if picking this Wrong Answer doesn’t get me a penalty, it still embarrassed my character and disappointed my friends/rivals and thus I feel bad for picking it’. Consequences as recontextualizing your character as more incompetent than they should’ve come across at that moment.
And then there’s moments like the iconic ending of ‘Justice for All’. That moment before Franziska bursts into the Courtroom with the case-making evidence and saves the day. The moment where it seems like Phoenix really is gonna have to pick between protecting his best friend and carrying out a rightful sentence.
The player gets to pick between the two options, but Phoenix never gets to say his choice out loud before Franziska comes running in... and yet… he, and the player, still made that choice. Even if no one ever has to experience the consequences of your choice, even if the rest of the world has no idea what Phoenix Wright would’ve chosen if the Miracle hadn’t happened, we know what we picked and that knowledge of the choice matters. Because of how we feel about this choice and what it says about our interpretation of Phoenix… and about us.
There’s also a bit of this ludonarrative device in ‘The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures’. During “The Adventures of the Runaway Room”, when you investigate the Omnibus for the second time and start finding things that… don’t quite fit together. When you’re finally starting to make progress with proving McGilded’s innocence, while also maybe starting to notice that something is… wrong with these pieces of evidence.
The unchanging linear narrative of the game is that Ryunosuke does eventually realizes McGilded's trickery, puts truth ahead of victory in court and yet, despite his effort and good intentions - the case still ends with a false Not Guilty verdict. And yet, the Player has the choice to... tweak the details.
There are several points where Ryunosuke can object, where he can call out the inconsistencies even though they help his case, where he can support Van Zieks in his accusations of tempered evidence... or he can not. Not necessarily intentionally misleading the Court as much as subconsciously trying to ignore the inconsistencies in the name of trusting his client.
And yet… in the end it doesn’t matter. Maybe Susato calls out the inconsistency instead of him, maybe Van Zieks does, maybe it remains uncontested but... no matter what you do, the case will end with a Not Guilty verdict (I mean, I guess you can deliberately fail the game but that will not progress the plot), McGilded doesn’t seem like he held a grudge (in the few minutes he had left to live), and a few cases later - Ryunosuke would always be punished for his part at this false verdict.
So it doesn’t really matter what Ryunosuke did back then? Does it matter if he did his best and called out every single inconsistencies or if he kinda half-assed it until he (and the Player) had to? He’s still going to suffer the same consequences down the line. And yet….
And yet, I think there’s something so powerful about giving us that option. About knowing that Ryunosuke, and we, did try and do something about McGilded's dirty tricks- even if it didn’t work. Or alternative, knowing that there was more that Ryunosuke and us could’ve done even if it was not nearly enough. Even if in the eyes of the game and the British Justice system there is no difference, the fact that we know what did and what we could’ve done can radically change the way the player feels about all of the later scenes concerning the truth about McGilded’s trial. It can radically change the way the player interpret Ryunosuke’s feelings about it as well.
Because even though the game itself keeps playing along with the same script regardless, that trial had irrevocable consequences for the Player.
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so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!
with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:
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A Much Needed Interview (OP81)
(Part 2 of Teen Dad)
Summary: After the shock of Oscar revealing himself to be a former teen dad, he joins an interview in the hopes of clearing everything up and limiting the overwhelming amount of questions he has been getting.
“Oscar, it is nice of you to sit down with us. I know it has been an interesting few weeks for you and your family. How are you guys all doing?” The interviewer asks.
‘Yeah, y’know, I had expected to one day have to open up about it all, but I never thought I’d have to do it the way I did. It has been fine, obviously my kids are young enough to not be impacted because they aren’t on social media, but it has been strange for my fiancée who is now getting hundreds of requests on her private account. I have sort of decided to take a break from social media because the response has been overwhelming and like none before. Mostly positive but I think a few people have gotten the wrong idea so I was hoping to clear everything up.” Oscar rambled. He was more nervous about this interview than any he had done before.
“Of course. Why don’t we start at the beginning, how did you and your fiancée meet?”
“We actually met at one of my races. She went to support one of her close friend’s brothers. After the race that I sadly didn’t do too well in, I saw her with her friend and I was kinda frozen in my spot, immediately head over heels. Sadly, it seems like everyone but her noticed. I was too scared to do anything so I just watched her leave. I think I sulked for days, totally regretting my decision to do nothing. A totally heartbroken 16 year old. I looked for her every single race until she finally came back a few months later.”
“Oh please tell me you finally got the confidence to shoot your shot.”
“Nope! I just stared at her and stuttered when she caught me looking then ran off. I then had an amazing race, I think part of me was just trying to make up for the embarrassment and luckily it seems my car got the memo. After the race she came up to me and asked for my number.” God, he was blushing profusely at the memory. He knew he would be getting slack for this for a very long time.
“Such a story! The young Oscar Piastri was no ladies’ man.”
“He was absolutely not. Soon after we started dating.” Oscar awkwardly laughed, sensing what was about to come up.
“And then kids came shortly after?” The interviewer asked with care in his voice, certainly able to sense Oscar’s change in attitude.
“Yeah. Uh, obviously not planned. I don’t think many people plan to become parent’s at 18. It was a shock… I didn’t handle it the best at first, something I think I will always regret. She was scared and while so was I, I should have been more supportive. I was embarrassed for a while. Felt like a total idiot. I didn’t tell anyone outside of my family and made them swear to secrecy. I also began to isolate myself from friends because I couldn’t bring myself to tell them but also felt terrible lying. A few months in I finally snapped myself out of it and began to focus on all the wonderfulness that was to come. I loved her more than anything and I would be lying if I said I hadn’t already imagined a life together in great detail. By the time we found out it was twins, a boy and a girl, I was ecstatic.”
“Well mate, I don’t blame you for your feelings. I definitely would have been a terrible father at 18 so I salute you.” The interviewer joked.
“Honestly, I had the same thought for a while, even when I was excited to have kids. I had so many doubts about it, I mean how could I not? But when it came down to it, I couldn’t afford to be anything less than a great father. Of course I had my moments, and still do years later, but I wouldn’t be able to let myself be anything less than I am. If you love your kids enough, you find a way.”
“How did having kids so young impact your career? Obviously it didn’t hurt it too much considering you are in your second year driving in Formula 1.”
“Well, I decided I wouldn’t advertise my situation unless a team was very serious about me. Prema knew, Alpine did too and of course McLaren does. All were welcoming and accommodating, as much as they could be. I don’t think I would have gone with any of them if they weren’t cool with it though. I realized the minute my kids were born I would give it all up for them, which scared the hell out of me.”
“That is admirable. All these years later you are still with their mother, correct?”
“Yes! I asked her to marry me over break. Everyone close to us had been confused as to why it took so long but we had discussed marriage together many times and made the decision that because our relationship moved so fast with having kids so young, we would wait a bit. I mean, we are still young but I honestly couldn’t wait any longer. She is everything to me and the most wonderful mother my kids could have.”
“Have your kids been around the paddock yet? I assume they are old enough to understand what you do.”
“They have been to the factory and come with me to meetings when we haven’t had a sitter for them. Luckily, they are both very well behaved in public, they also really like watching the races on tv and have somewhat of an understanding of what I do. They don’t believe I actually drive the car though.” Oscar rumbled. Trying to convince his twins that yes, their father actually does drive the cars they see going super fast, has been an ongoing issue. They seem to believe he is tricking them but have no problem believing Uncle Logan and Uncle Lando drive the cars. It has definitely humbled him immensely.
“Well you will have to fix that soon huh? Will they be attending races in the future?”
“I am trying to work that out with my fiancée actually. They are almost four so we don’t want them traveling too far, I also don’t believe they will be able to be entertained solely by the race the entire time so we have a lot to deal with. But I think seeing them on the paddock supporting me will be one of the best moments of my life. I selfishly can’t wait for them to come.”
The interview wrapped up shortly after that. Getting to reminisce on the start of his relationship and how far they have come and how many wonderful things are in the future put Oscar in a deliriously happy mood. He couldn’t wait to get home to his family.
Walking through the door, he was immediately welcomed to the sound of toddler meltdowns. Fully entering the house, he saw his very tired fiancée rubbing her face as she tried to calm her babies down. Clearly this had been going on for a while.
Despite how upset she looked, she immediately perked up at seeing Oscar had returned. But that immediately went away as she remembered the screaming kids and how messy the house and herself were.
“Sorry honey, I know you are probably so tired after the interview and meetings earlier and these two missed their nap so they are so cranky and I just-” He cut her off with a kiss. Once he pulled away she looked at him, perplexed. A kiss from Oscar was never unwelcome but it was the last thing she expected at that moment.
“Hey, look at me.” He said as he put a hand on her cheek. “I love you and our little family so much and you never, ever have to apologize for something as trivial as this. Why don’t you go get in the bath and relax a little and I will try to wrangle these two, okay?”
In her eyes, Oscar had never been hotter than he was now. Now it was her turn to surprise him with a kiss, even more passionate than the first. They would have continued if it hadn’t been for more screaming from their two kids.
Still, Oscar wouldn’t change a thing.
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Imagine being Mikey's girlfriend and having so many teenagers giving you respect as if you're the leader of the number one biker gang in Tokyo.
Imagine how confused everyone in your school is when a group of bulky, testosterone filled, aggressive high schoolers come and bow at a 90° angle. You're staring with reddened cheeks because ???????????
But they're off to go to class without a word, muttering to themselves. Your classmates and friends are like: "dude what the fuck happened?" and you're like "I don't even know."
Then some fuckers come and offer to hold your bag for you? To get you lunch? Someone gave you their bento? And everyone starts noticing how it's only the delinquents that do it. Mostly the ones wearing the Tokyo Manji uniform.
If there's a Toman member in class, you bet your ass they'd threaten the teacher for you. Like "They got that answer right!!" and you're like "no!!! I didn't!!!"
You're so scared your teachers were gonna give you detention. Or call your parents to let them know their child had a gaggle of delinquents doing their bidding.
God, imagine if they call you a title. Like "princess" or something. I can't even think of a title suited for this. But like something cringey that gets you annoyed and the clueless people around you start having even weirder theories.
Biggest one? You're the Yakuza's daughter.
IMAGINE!!!! IF SOME OF THE TOMAN INNER CIRCLE WERE THERE SJSNSNSJKSKWKA
I'm imagining Baji and chifuyu laughing their ass off in the corner, on the floor, gasping for air. And when you notice them, you run and ask if they had anything to do with this.
Baji wishes and chifuyu was growing purple from lack of oxygen. You kicked at them and wacked them with your book. WHICH MADE THINGS WORSE BECAUSE YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS ARE SEEING U BEAT UP GANG MEMBERS. YOURE A RAGING MONSTER IN THEIR EYES NOW.
If the toman members see this, do you think they'd be afraid of you? They'd be shaking in their boots at someone most likely half their size and that couldn't even win an arm wrestling match.
You'd ask Baji and chifuyu to tell them to stop. They would very loudly call you princess and run away cackling.
I'm pretty sure in highschool, the inner circle go to the same school. I don't remember but Takemitchy, Hakkai and Chifuyu go to the same school right?
If you think Takemitchy would help, chifuyu convinced him not to. Anyone else there is just someone you couldn't get a hold of. And you just ended up ignoring the delinquents and going about your day. Which just made you look like even more of a gang leader, walking down a hallway with a blank stare while people around you bowed.
Some non delinquents call you princess and you're telling them that "no, it's a prank. A sick joke that my boyfriend is playing on me."
People realise very quickly why you were being treated like royalty when the school day ended.
Because lo and behold, The Invincible Mikey was standing at the gate, leaning against his infamous bike as he waited for you. People just stopped and stared, not bothering leaving the vicinity, out of curiosity and maybe fear.
You see Mikey and start stomping towards him, everyone holding their breath because 'the yakuzas daughter was going head to head with the captain of the Tokyo Manji Gang.'
But Mikey was smiling brightly, arms open for a hug as he made grabby hands at you.
You came close and kicked him on the shin.
I honestly can't imagine everyone's reaction. Stunned silence. It's a sense of doom I think. A sense of 'rest in peace'. But also, the utter shock and respect you'd just accumulated from your peers in a second. You had some mad fucking balls to do that shit. Even full grown adults wouldn't do something like that to Sano Manjiro. People were ready to join your followers and praise you.
The kick was weak by the way, Mikey didn't even flinch. He just looked confused and then you ranted to him about your day and suddenly he was fully relying on his Babu to hold him up. Because my god, was he laughing his ass off. He couldn't breathe.
If Ken-chin was with him, let's be honest he would be, the man would also be on his knees dying of laughter. Just...imagine every Toman member that's part of the inner circle.... laughing vehemently at you for this.
With grumbles and glares, you try walking home by yourself but Mikey is quick to pull you back into his arms. His laughter hadn't stopped but he was leaning on you now.
The way one sinewy hand was on your waist while the other was tangled in your hair...made it very clear what you guys were to each other.
It was a collective 'oh.....oh' moment.
Mikey peppered many apologetic kisses on your cheeks and you whined about how embarrassing it was and how people were watching. Unbeknownst to you, Mikey had slyly made eye contact with anyone staring and glared daggers at them.
Ken-chin then decided to stand in front of the two of you and throw daggers at the on lookers for him.
And as much as you wanted to push away, you leant into his kisses and let him give you one on the nose and forehead. He tasted sweet on your lips too and your arms were around his neck, pulling away to stop the boy from going overboard like he always did.
"I'll treat you to lunch to make up for it?" Mikey whisperer gently, eyes soft and lovesick.
"Promise to call a meeting and tell everyone to stop?"
Mikey snorted, "Yes princess."
The punch on his arm was a lot harder. Mikey made an exaggerated pained expression, snickering to himself as he pulled you in close.
"It's not like it's a lie, though. You should be treated like royalty and have everyone do your bidding."
The blush that rose on your cheeks made his heart flutter.
"Only you can....treat me like that."
Oh he's not letting go of you any time soon.
Bonus: Later on, when you meet Baji and Chifuyu...they call you princess and burst out laughing. You promptly throw both of your shoes at them.
I also feel like if the Haitani brothers caught wind of this, it'd just be the worst for you. They are the snarkiest motherfuckers.
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Deer Demon Child Headcanons
Requested
Alastor & Child Reader
Warnings? ⚠
⚠ implied death, mention of blood, mention of cannibalism, weapons-gun ⚠
It was a surprise to everyone that a child wandered into the hotel.
A little deer demon.
That's you
Climbed up one of the bar stools and stared the cat man down until he finally noticed them.
"Uh..hey? Kid."
"I want juice!", you pointed at a bottle behind him that was on the shelf.
"That's not juice."
While distracting you with magic tricks and cards games, Husk called Charlie to let her know that a new guest had arrived.
The Princess ran to get to the lobby and rushed over to the bar.
"Hi! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!", Charlie sings out before noticing the little deer. "Oh."
Everyone is called into the lobby.
"Ok!", Charlie claps her hands together and introduces you to the group. "Everyone, be nice and say hi."
Later on you are asked by Vaggie and Charlie how you got to the "red place."
Mostly everyone left and it was only you three. Four.
"Before I woke up here I was with my moma.", you said while coloring your drawing. "Dad had a shiney toy in his drawer and showed it to me a lot of times. It made fun clicking noises. I wanted to play with it, so I took it out."
As you were explaining you drew out the shape of a gun.
"I wanted to show Moma but she looked scared. And when I tried to make the clicky noise it came out different. It made a bang and then Moma fell."
You drew your mother covered in red.
"I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't get up. I got sad and started crying."
You didn't notice Charlie and Vaggie looking sad.
"Then Dad came home and started screaming at me and took the toy away. And then everything went dark for a while."
Picking up your paper, you showed the girls your drawings.
"And then I woke up to the red sky!"
Charlie hugged you after and said that she'll make sure you go to Heaven.
Oof sad backstory.
Husk literally growls at Alastor everytime he mentions venison for dinner.
Alastor has joked to others that he'll eat you but stopped once he grew fond of you.
"Little fawn.", he smiles as he greets you. "Would you like gingerbread cookies?"
To be honest, everyone is worried that Alastor might kill you. But surprise, surprise! They are shocked when he takes care of you instead.
You're the favorite hotel guest.
Anyone that tries anything will be taken care of.
Charlie did a talent show day and you sang, surprising everyone with your angelic like voice.
You're a curious little deer and the hotel guests and staff find you in odd places.
Once Angel found you upsidedown behind the couch that was against the wall.
"What are ya doing back there?", he asked after pulling you out.
"Niffty said there was treasure!", you smiled.
Alastor finds it adorable that you go to him when someone you don't know/scary person is in the hotel.
Sir Pentious is told to put all of his weapons away.
Everyone dubs you as Alastor's child. Even the Radio Demon himself.
Vaggie threatens Alastor after he jokes that you'll be a cannibal like him.
Of course he'd never do that but its funny to see Vagatha's and Husker's pissed off faces.
Alastor keeps up with the human news and learns that your father went to prison. So the Radio Demon waits for the man to fall.
Art will be provided. (Later)
~Seline, the person.
Art
Taglist@
@ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @faioula16 @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?
ML for Alastor🎙
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Feels weird leaving an ask, like I’m walking up to a sage on a mountain and asking advice but that sage is likely just some guy in his pj’s eating cheese. Anyway any advice for how to be okay with being perceived? It’s hard to not feel like everything I do whilst in someone eyeline is embarrassing
I'm actually eating Pierogi in the bathtub right now so this is perfect
Okay first off, currently working my way out of the wet paper bag that is Social Anxiety that once had me agoraphobic and melting down on my way to buy groceries, just so you know what you're working with
Care about how you dress, but not in like, a fashion way. Just a "I like how I feel in this shirt" sort of way. And not so much, "I look good in these pants so I will wear them to be perceived Correctly", as, "I feel great in these house slippers and when I feel good I'm confident and when I'm confident I give less of a shit what the haters might think". Wear what feels good. Cut your hair and do your face and nails whatever way feels good. Appearance is secondary to vibes.
Lean into the funny. I waited 10 minutes in line for a coffee order that had already been set out for me this morning, and when the barista noticed, we both had a good laugh. Five years ago that would have killed me. Now I'm glad these poor workers will have a funny story over their bland ass shift. When I was in retail that would have been adorable and hilarious! And so, my goofemup is a gift. I am full of blessings
Get louder and watch as nothing bad happens. Take up more space and watch as nobody yells at you. Wear brighter or skimpier or janglier outfits and bask I the glory that is "Nobody gives a shit except the nice strangers who give me compliments". Marvel at how far you can push the envelope before anyone so much as comments on it. This will free you.
Say yes to terrifying opportunities to be Seen. Karaoke, dance, improv. And if you can't do it sincerely, embody a caricature of yourself. It's terrifying and it sucks eternally and forever and ever and ever like hellfire until suddenly it doesn't. Then have fun.
Be honest. Not unkind, but blunt if you need to. "I'm having a bad time". "This kinda sucks for me". "I know you hate this song but you can deal with these last 30 seconds because I need it to live". Mostly people will think it's a joke but respect it anyway. God bless
Please keep in mind that I am flying by the seat of my pants here and this is just stuff that's worked for me. I am still a nervous disaster crying into the void. Good luck space cowboy
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader
From the request here
Fandom: Call of Duty
Character(s): Simon Riley, Reader
Summary: When a movie night has you questioning your bodies worth, Simon catches you in the shower to show you that your body is perfect just the way that it is.
Word Count: 4.3 k
Warnings:
“Look at the jugs on her,” one of the guys says at the busty blonde that has just been introduced for the first time in the film. A few others follow suit, whooping at the gorgeous, petite female main character popping up on screen as the movie really gets going. “That’s a woman you could lose yourself in. Fuck, I wish I could find a girl like her; I’d be a happy man for life. To have that waiting at home for me, I’d never even be tempted to stray.”
This is usually how movie night on base goes: people piling into the rec center ready to watch the latest movie from the personal collection from one of the members, but mostly it just devolves into a testosterone fest of horny boys itching to have something to focus their sexual frustrations on by ogling at the new pretty little thing on screen. Usually it doesn’t bother you, you’re used to being around all that chaos, but tonight just feels different.
Simon isn’t one for this type of gathering, but he comes to keep an on the crowd and be nearer to you and as he watches out of the corner of his eye from his place standing towards the back, he notices how your body language changes as the guys continue to raucously talk about the leading lady and how beautiful she is. It’s almost imperceptible the way you shift in your seat while you pick at the skin of your lower lip with your teeth, your shoulders slumping down as you cross your arms, but he catches it outright. He knows you and he knows this isn’t normal.
Something is bothering you.
The longer you sit there the worse it gets. Their lustful words just cut different tonight; maybe it’s exhaustion from being overworked or perhaps you’re just having an off day, but the longer they hoot and holler over the girl plastered before your eyes, the more you want to crawl out of your skin.
It’s about halfway through the movie when you slowly get up from your seat, trying not to draw attention to yourself by leaving too quickly and exit the rec without looking back. Simon is instantly concerned and wants to rush after you, but one of the newer recruits that seems to be the ringleader in all this turns to him as if to drag him into the depraved fun.
“Whatcha think; gotta admit she’s a fine thing, ain’t she Lieutenant?” he asks, nodding back at the screen. “Come on, even you gotta admit she’s perfect. Couldn’t hope to find anyone better.”
The look that Simon gives the young man through his mask, that stone cold glare that could make even the bravest man shiver, instantly shuts him up and has him facing forward again to join his brothers in arms in their jokes. His brow furrows angrily behind the fabric as he looks over the crowd of boys once more before heading out, leaving quietly like a specter on his way to find where you had gotten to.
Simon checks all the usual places, but you are nowhere to be found: the little area outside the rec where you usually join him for a smoke break, the mess hall, even your barracks are empty. Then he hears movement in the communal bathroom and knows he’s finally found you.
It looks like you’ve been rushing to get done before anyone can catch you. Your hair is damp from the shower and it drips down to leave dark stains onto your t-shirt as you stand staring at yourself in the mirror behind the sink. Simon watches quietly from his obscured place by the door as you look yourself over, scrutinizing each detail from head to toe before you give up with a sigh and a diversion of your eyes, focusing on your toothbrush instead as you pick it up and turn on the faucet. So absorbed in what you are doing, you don’t hear the lock click closed or the pair of heavy boots that cross the length of the room until there is a presence upon you.
“God, you’re so beautiful baby,” you hear that deep, gravelly voice sound from behind you while a bulky arm wraps itself around your waist from behind as Simon presses up against your back. You look back up into the mirror in front of you and are instantly met with a pair of brilliant brown eyes as he slowly removes his balaclava. “Just standin’ there fresh outta the shower and ya look like a fantasy.”
Setting the mask on the sink he joins his other arm around you and leans his face in, the tip of his nose nuzzles into the side of your neck before he presses his lips against your jugular. His lips catch the feeling of your pulse quickening through the vein at his touch. Rough hands begin to splay across your clothed stomach, running across and down to your hips with gentle caresses that make you pause. Your eyes stare into the mirror to take in your combined form as he drapes himself over you, hot lips peppering your skin with no sign of letting up.
You chuckle dismissively, trying to play off his words as a joke. Your head still isn’t in the right place and even though you enjoy the feeling of his touch, disastrous thoughts still circle throughout to cloud your mind so that you second guess even his affections.
“Oh, come off it,” you return as you grab the toothpaste off the countertop. “I do not.”
There is no hesitation in his reply. “I’m serious,” he breathes that husky whisper against your skin as his lips continue down to your shoulder as his fingers pull the t-shirt away from your collar bone to reveal more skin for him to adorn with his mouth.
You roll your eyes in the mirror so that as he looks up briefly he catches the movement. “Yeah, sure,” you again dismiss him. “Whatever you say.”
Before you can even unscrew the cap to the toothpaste, Simon reaches past you to turn off the tap and take your things out of your hands before he rotates you around so that you face him. Your backside presses into the edge of the sink as you rest up against it, mouth scrunched to one side as he gazes back at you with intent. There is a subtle frown on his lips and an anxious look in his copper eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned. “Somethin’ happen? Cause I did see ya leave in a hurry back there.”
You divert your eyes, ashamed of your lack of confidence that has come forward tonight. “I don’t know, it’s nothing,” you shrug, but he isn’t buying any of it.
His large hand rests itself up under your chin, pulling your head back up to look into his face. “I think ya do know,” he says. “Will ya tell me?”
Clearing your throat, you give yourself a moment to figure out how best to proceed. “It’s just,” you say hesitantly, “I guess sometimes I just wish I looked like that, you know? I know I’m usually not this self-conscious, but tonight I guess I just hit a rough patch with my insecurities and something about the shit they were saying just got to me I guess. You see the way the guys talk about girls like in that movie, like she’s the most gorgeous thing in the world. She’s so perfect and… I…”
You gesture with your head down the length of your body to emphasize your point that you are nothing like the actress: your breasts are on the smaller side, your thighs are incredibly thick, and your stomach is not completely flat. Simon follows your hand, looking you up and down before his eyes meet yours again.
“I’m not. I know it’s fucking stupid and I shouldn’t care about all that, it doesn’t really matter, but sometimes it’s just hard to ignore. I’m not the standard when it comes to beauty, but sometimes I just want to feel like I’m the most irresistible person in the room.”
It seems like he wants to say something, you can see his mouth shifting, but instead his gaze drifts down to your lips and he pulls your chin forward to close the distance between your mouths. Instantly he overtakes your mouth with his own, tenderly capturing your lips over and over with a gentle desperation that makes him shudder against you as he moves in closer.
“Who the fuck said ya ain’t perfect?” he asks, his voice breathy against your lips. “Gimme that bastard’s name. You tell me right now so I can go ring their fuckin’ neck. Cause that is a goddamn lie.”
“No one said anything like that, it’s just the way I feel,” you answer honestly. “And you’re only saying that because you like me.”
Immediately Simon pulls you into another long kiss as if he is trying to take those insecure words right out of your mouth before you can say anything else. Breaking the kiss, Simon licks his flushed lips and shakes his head. “Really? Ya don’t think your body can drive someone wild? Then what’s this, hmm?” he asks, grabbing your wrist to pull your hand forward so that he can place the palm over top of the soft bulge growing in his boxers. “See whatcha do to me, sweetheart? Ya think that’s lyin’?”
Your hand rubs over the swell and his hips unconsciously buck slightly against your hand as he hums in approval of your touch. It is instantaneous the way you have him begging for even a simple touch from you; no other has ever held that kind of power over him, not anyone that he would give it to so freely like he does you. The warm pressure from your hand causes the pulsing to intensify as he grows harder and you find your heart beat starting to match its throbbing.
“Ya don’t think I catch the men lookin’ at ya from time to time?” he asks as he leans his head forward until it rests against your own, hands moving up under the hem of your shirt to play with the toasty skin of your abdomen as he talks. “Ya don’t think I see that their eyes glaze over as they linger on your body a bit too long for my fuckin’ likin’? Just cause they won’t say it out loud doesn’t make it any less true that you have something about ya that would drive any man wild.”
His words are like a balm to your mind and the longer he speaks the more you find yourself falling under their spell. Rough fingers are pushing up higher into your shirt, pulling it up over your waist as he runs his palms across the area while his hips press into yours. He’s not forceful or harsh, his advances are only full of adoration in that type of intense devotion that only Simon Riley is capable of when it comes to savoring the best damn thing he has ever had.
“Don’t let what ya heard back there hurt ya,” he says softly. “Yeah, ya don’t look like that bird on the screen, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t an absolute beauty. You’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen and I ain’t just sayin’ it, baby. But ya don’t just have ta take my word for it. Let me show ya that no one can hold a candle to what ya got.”
Simon pulls you over to one of the empty showers and gets it going, fiddling with the taps to make sure the water is going nice and warm before he turns his undivided attention back to you. Instantly his mouth is back on yours as one by one each piece of your clothing is removed and set aside in tandem with his own until you both stand before the other bare.
“I’ve already showered,” you mutter out between pauses as merely just a statement of fact rather than a reason to deny him.
Simon murmurs his disagreement into your mouth. “Don’t care,” he replies through a break in his kiss, continuing to take off your clothes as he dizzyingly tries to get at your body. “Can’t be havin’ those fuckin’ negative thoughts in that head of yours. Wanna take care of ya, make ya feel like the true beauty ya are.”
More kissing, so much that your lips are burning and raw from the friction. His mouth must be aflame too, but he doesn’t let up; he can’t, he’s captured in the wake of your allure and there is no getting out.
“What if someone comes in?” The last of your questions spills out quick.
He chuckles at your needless worry. “Already locked the door sweetheart.”
Stretching his hand out, he checks the temperature to be sure it’s right before dragging you inside the steamy oasis. The curtain is barely pulled closed before he has you pinned at the back wall, his stocky torso rubbing against your voluptuous naked body as he steals the breath from your lungs, kissing you so thoroughly that there is no distinction between faces anymore.
The change in temperature has your nipples hardening, the blossoms spiking forward at attention, and Simon can feel them poking against his chest the longer he has your mouth locked in that dance of back and forth. The moment he is aware of their presence his mouth is salivating to get at them.
You might think they are not perfect enough, but to him they are exactly what he wants.
Breaking the kiss abruptly, removing his mouth so quickly that a trial of spit still connects your lips a moment, he tilts his head downward. Being on the smaller side, he can fit your breast almost entirely in his mouth and he does, filling the cavity with as much of your tit as he can without choking.
You can hardly remember anymore why the stupid comments had you so upset in the first place when you have a man like Simon who will dote on you like you are royalty. His is the only opinion you have come to care about and it is clear that there is nothing he will ever want more than you.
He moans deep and guttural into your breast as he sucks while letting the end of his tongue flick around the nipple, circling the sensitive tissue until you are writhing against him as he holds you steady to the wall so that he can work. There is another breast after all that requires his attention and he intends to show it the same amount of affection as the other. Switching sides, he gets to work, keeping the first breast warm by cupping it in his hand.
It’s minutes of you quivering and whimpering before he emerges panting with his lips swollen and red, satisfied with his work so far. Giving his lips a break, Simon gently strokes your cheek with his fingers as he gazes into your eyes, swaying your bodies from side to side in easy movements. “Stay with me luv,” he says softly as he watches you take heavy breaths, “I ain’t done just yet.”
Those lips are on the move again to decorate your body, over your sternum and waist, until he has to kneel before you to get any further. He’s on his knees, all 6’4” of him bent to you as he places kisses across your belly while the heated water runs over his dirty blonde hair and down his back, rippling across the muscles in his shoulders as he holds your hips squeezed securely between his broad hands.
“You’re perfect just the way ya are, baby,” he groans against your moist skin, letting his lips linger wherever he puts them. “Just like this: real, curves for fuckin’ days, so much skin I get drunk tryin’ to get at it all. And the best goddamn part is that it’s all mine.”
More kisses he places along all the areas you think unworthy of adoration, but that he finds absolutely exquisite. “Mine, all mine.”
His words devolve into incoherent babble as he nestles his face into your abdomen to leave burning trails of his desire with his lips that even the warm water cannot wash away from your skin. Your body writhes in his double-handed grasp as your head falls back to rest against the wall as every inch of tender flesh prickles with the overstimulating sensation of being doted upon.
Lips keep trailing further downward from your stomach to the mound of your sex, through the trimmed patch of hair at the top of your pussy, before they sink into the bulk of your thick, stocky thighs.
“Ya think I get on my knees for any girl?” he asks from his place at the bottom of the shower as he stares up into your face with half-lidded eyes that darken the more he plays with you. “You’re the only one who can bring me to fuckin’ kneel, baby. You and your gorgeous body. I’m at it’s goddamn mercy.”
Placing his hand on your calf, he nods and you know exactly what he wants: that juicy cunt smothering his features, your bulky thighs crush against his ears. Carefully he helps you to adjust your footing so that he can lift your leg. Propping it up on his own thigh, he sits back on his calves so that his face sits at the same level as your pussy and he leans in, smothering his face right between those dangerously thick pieces of flesh as you widen your stance with his guidance to make it easier. Hardened fingertips dig themselves into your body, forcing you even more firmly against his face until his nose is pressed into your clit and he moves his head back and forth to stimulate it with the tip.
There is little oxygen to be had between the heat from the water and the heat between your legs, but it doesn’t matter. The sound of your soft, breathy gasps and moans as he penetrates your entrance with his tongue is enough to sustain him until he can come up to breathe. Lapping and thrusting, wriggling and applying pressure, if there is even a whisper of a negative thought left in your brain it is overshadowed completely now by the overwhelming euphoria of being devoured to the brink of insanity.
You buck wild and untamed, panting heavily as the warmth in your belly begins gathering quicker than you could have thought, the coil pulling tightly as minute by aching minute Simon draws your body to the edge of its release. He is relentless in his endeavor, putting your needs above anything else- even breathing. That tongue has moved up to your clit now and with weighty presses over the tiny bean you soon are spilling over the edge and he has to hold onto you tight so that you don’t slip and fall.
Simon stays locked to your pussy until the very last second, keeping his movements going even as you try to pry him off from the sensitivity that is almost too much to handle. It isn’t until you finally stop writhing that he emerges from between your legs with a smile that has your stomach doing somersaults as he wipes his mouth clean of your cum.
“Second course,” he growls before you even have a chance to fully come down from your high.
Oh you have got him down bad tonight.
He carefully flips you round to face the wall and uses his feet to make you spread your legs as wide as you can get them. A hefty hand runs itself over the curve of your ass, following the line down all the way to the underside before he grabs it in his hand and gives the meat a firm squeeze.
“Those little boys just don’t know how to handle this much woman; all these fuckin’ curves are too much pleasure for a bastard that don’t know the treasure he’s got. But I know what a fuckin’ feast ya are,” he groans as he aligns your hips and enters you from behind with a forceful grunt that reverberates off the enclosed space of the shower.
You push palms flat against the wall to steady yourself. “They don’t know how ta treat ya right, how ta love a body that just keeps givin’ and givin’. But I don’t have that problem, sweetheart.”
Simon’s devout words are like liquid fire and as his cock stretches you wide, the euphoria of his talk runs through you to make you burn. Your body is his religion and goddamn does he always worship it right. All those cares, all that self-loathing and doubt entirely evaporate from your mind as he pushes your shoulders forward to make you arch your back so that he can pound into your pussy hard and deep from behind, making your plump ass bounce off his pelvis with a recoil that draws his gaze.
“Fuck,” he breathes, so obsessed with the way you look around him that he is trying to ingrain the image in his mind.
His aching exclamation thrills you, making your heart skip a beat as his thrusts continue to rock through you. To be craved in such a way, to be thought of like the woman in the movie, that is what he is giving you now and it is euphoric. His intensity is orgasmic and your body responds in kind as he grabs you to move you closer.
“Don’t concern yourself with the bullshit ideas of some puny little boys when ya got a man who will always make sure you feel like a fuckin’ princess when you’re in his arms,” he says in a whisper at your ear as he pulls you back to leans against his chest. “Cause ya are, sweetheart. Your my fuckin’ goddess of a woman.”
The way he says it makes you ache all over and you can feel it twinge in your clit. “Say it again,” you beg, needing to hear him make those sweet combinations of sounds once more until your body vibrates with pleasure.
His hand comes up to cup around your breast so that he can massage the nipple between his thumb and forefinger, causing you to mewl at the sensation. “You are so fuckin’ beautiful baby, so goddamn perfect just like this, and I love every last fuckin’ inch of ya. My princess.”
Your cheeks feel like they are glowing and on fire as thrusts after thrust he pounds into you, stretching you and filling you full on all of his passion for your body. You will never be able to make everyone see you for the gorgeous being that you truly are, but that doesn’t matter anymore. Simon is more than enough to keep you feeling like the most beautiful girl in the whole world; you are safe with him.
Your head falls back against his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as his arms that are filled with your waist clamp down tighter to secure you to him so that he can shove his cock even harder into your now dripping core. “Yes, yes,” you whimper out.
“Come for me again,” he practically demands as he watches you falling apart once more. “Come on, pretty girl, one more for me. One more together.”
Your limbs are tingling with each snap of his hips against your ass. It’s close, right there, you can almost feel it again as the coil wounds itself tight once more in the pit of your stomach. You clench down on him, making him falter before recovering and continuing on. A few more pumps of him deep in your core and it is right there at the precipice.
“Let go for me,” he whispers into your ear as you clench once more around him and something about the way he says it sets you off. You come for the second time, the orgasm rocketing through you until you can feel it like fire shooting through your veins as you shake with the intensity of it all.
Quickly he pulls out just in time as he too pops off and comes between your thighs as you clamp them together around his cock. The ejaculate runs down your legs as he milks every last bit out of the tip until his body hangs limp and his head falls down to rest the forehead against your shoulder. Still he holds you close, murmuring soft praises against your neck about how fucking amazing that was and how there is no one else that will ever look more beautiful all flushed and exhausted.
Holding onto you, Simon takes a few steps back forcing you to come along until you are both submerged under the showerhead to let that soothing water run over your bodies until you can both come back down from your high. There are no words yet, none that need to be said out loud, all he needs to do is keep you wrapped in his arms a little longer.
It’s quiet, just the sound of the water rushing filling the silent space for a while, until a noise breaks you both out of the moment. There is a banging on the door from the outside, repeated knocking loudly and clearly; you’ve been in here for too long, but Simon doesn’t seem to be bothered. There is no attempt to leave the steamy oasis yet and soon the sound subsides and you are both left in the silence once again.
“They’ll just have to fuckin’ wait,” he says against the side of your head in a hushed whisper, lips tempting your earlobe. “They can consider it a punishment for making ya upset. Besides, I’m still busy and you’re not goin’ anywhere.”
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You Think, Genius?
Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid
Description: Being friends with Spencer Reid is an adventure within itself. Movie nights are no exception.
Content/Warnings: Friends type humor, tension, mention of food/food fight, best friends to lovers trope, heavy kissing, very sweet smut (wild because I hardly write that, I feel like lmao).
Word Count: 2.7k
Anon Request: spencer reid x sarcastic funny reader? not mean but like kinda like Chandler from friends humour? with earlish seasons reid (season 3/4)ish cute smut. ADDING TO THE SARCASTIC!READER SHE AND SPENCE HAVE A BESTFRIENDS TO LOVERS ARC 🫶🫶
Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request
RIP Matthew Perry, thank you for playing the king of sarcasm and being my inspiration for this. 🩷
“Serial killers and childhood neglect have actually been linked together for years. Some of the most notorious serial killers were abused in some shape or fashion at home. Which makes sense whenever you take into account how easy it is to psychologically break a person and cause them to shut down, children being more receptive than most adults.” Spencer rambled on about some study he had been reading about.
Everyone was mostly tuned out besides you, your left hand holding the travel size cereal box up in clear view, your eyes wide. “That explains why I can’t stop eating this cereal! My mom made my life a living hell and now, all I think about is cereal. Oh god.” You said in a sarcastic tone, causing Derek to chuckle from his desk.
“She’s a cereal killer.” He joked while you both were giggling, making Spencer look between you and Derek, a confused expression on his face.
“She’s not a serial killer. I don’t think she’d be working here if she was one.”
The laughter continued on at your coworker’s obliviousness. “No, Spence,” JJ shook her head as she approached your chair, gently taking the little box before holding it up. “The joke is that she’s eating cereal. Cereal killer.” The blonde explained as you were turning back to Spencer.
“Oh, it’s no joke. I’ve got six bodies in my apartment right now. Just waiting to get home to do away with them.” You continued on, a little snort leaving your lips as you were getting your cereal back.
As you were pushing a handful in your mouth, you watched as Spencer looked at you with his head tilted to the side. “You haven’t killed anyone. I know that for a fact. You’re too nice.” He said while he was tapping his pen against his desk, JJ let out a huff and waved him off before she was walking away from your desk to get to her office.
“Isn’t there such a thing as killing people with kindness? That is my big move. I will be nice to them and boom,” You punched the palm of your hand to appear menacing. “I go in for the kill.”
Spencer was shaking his head with a soft giggle at the mere idea of it, your sarcasm slowly seeping through the cracks in an obvious way where he could see it.
“Right. How foolish of me to not understand it.” He joked softly while looking back down to the page he’d been doodling on. Your humor was new to Spencer, something he wasn’t really used to. You were a very sarcastic person, hardly ever having a conversation without injecting the encounter with your wit and sarcasm. He was still pretty clueless with it, however he felt he was getting better. Especially now that you had him saying his own sarcastic phrases at random times. It was weird for the rest of the team seeing the way you’d slowly brought Spencer out of that little bubble he was used to.
He was always the one who didn’t understand jokes or take sarcasm, appearing confused a good chunk of his career from the jokes and lighthearted banter. Being friends with you was a good way to learn how to understand though, which was why he was so lucky that you were his best friend.
“I was thinking of watching a movie. Do you wanna join me?” You asked, packing up your things as you looked over at Spencer as he raised an eyebrow.
“Tonight?” He asked, making you shake your head.
“No. Next week.” You answered with a deadpan expression while he crinkled his nose.
“You’re.. Being sarcastic..” He began while you rolled your eyes fondly with a smile.
“You think, genius? Come on, are you gonna come over or not?” You asked while putting your bag over your shoulder.
“I don’t see why not. Can we watch that new show that’s airing tonight?” He asked curiously, already following you out of the bullpen. He knew you’d give him a ride rather than sending him to go on the metro and meet you there later.
“Sure. I’ve been interested in it anyway. The new sci-fi one, right?” You asked as you made it to the parking garage with him as you were both in search of your car.
“Yes! It actually looks very interesting because from what I’ve read, they don’t make up their own rules as they go. They are using actual scientific data and evidence.” He gushed while you were clapping your hands together.
“Like learning in school! Oh how I loved school!” You were laughing as he had taken notice of the sarcasm and nudged your arm.
“Seriously. It’s going to be great! You may not think it now but you’ll enjoy it while learning about the real world when it comes to tech and space exploration.”
“We’ll have to see about that Dr. Reid.”
The ride back to your apartment was peaceful, the sounds of some radio station filling the quiet atmosphere of the car as you passed by numerous street signs. The comfortable silence was something you liked, never needing to strike up a conversation to enjoy Spencer’s company. Even if he was just reading while you were on your phone.
Back at your apartment, you’d just gotten the channel you needed pulled up, having about ten minutes until the show was supposed to air. Spencer made sure to tape it back at his own apartment, wanting to go back and watch alone to fully appreciate the show for more than its entertainment quality.
“Do you want me to run to the kitchen and get snacks?”
“You don’t have to run, Reid. You can walk.”
“Ha ha. So funny. Snacks or not?”
You were waving him off with a little laugh, offering a smile. “Yeah, yeah. Please go get some snacks. I think I have a big bag of that buttered popcorn you’re obsessed with.”
Spencer practically skipped to the kitchen upon hearing the news, retrieving one of your mixing bowls from one of your cupboards. After filling it up generously with the snack of choice, he was stopped by the fridge to grab two water bottles. With the two cold beverages under his arm, he was hurrying to the living room.
“I think we are all set.” He beamed with pride while placing the bowl on the table.
“Perfect. You’re right on time. It should start after these commercials.” You informed him while leaning forward to get a handful of popcorn from the bowl. While pushing a piece of popcorn into your mouth, you were only raising an eyebrow when you felt a pair of eyes on you. “What?” You asked, head turning to face Spencer as he quickly put his hands up in self defense.
“Nothing! I just wanted to see if it was good, that's all.”
“Right. I hate to tell you this, it tastes like buttered garbage. I don’t think you should subject yourself to eating it.” You joked, picking up a piece before flicking it in his direction, his eyes widening as he felt the snack hit his cheek.
“That could’ve taken out my eye!”
“Too bad it didn’t. We could get you an eyepatch.”
That was when Spencer took it a step further, getting a small handful of popcorn before throwing it in your direction. He was too busy laughing at your expression that mirrored his shock from earlier, pieces of popcorn in your hair and some on the couch.
“Is it a war that you want?”
“Me? You started it! Call it returned fire.”
That kickstarted a popcorn fight that didn’t seem to let up. Spencer was reaching into the now empty bowl before letting his eyes widen. He had no more ammo yet you had two handfuls. He was done for.
“You can apologize and we can end this.” You warned, your body now propped up on your knees as you had eventually turned to face him on the couch. “Just one ‘I’m sorry’ can end this bloodshed.”
“Never.”
“Suit yourself, Reid.” You were winding back one hand whenever Spencer was moving quickly to grip your wrist. There was some screaming, some laughing, and eventually you were being wrestled down onto the couch.
“Drop it!” Spencer laughed, both of your wrists being pinned down. “You do that and this will be all over.”
“No way.” You laughed, panting as you were being pinned down, some of Spencer’s long hair tickling the skin of your cheeks. You had both been in that position for a few more minutes before things calmed down, leaving you and the man above you to stare at one another and wait to reach a stalemate.
There was a growing tension, your faces only inches apart as he had you trapped between his body and the couch. Those beautiful eyes were looking down at you, almost as if Spencer was using the close proximity to take in every feature on your face. It was enough to make your face flush, cheeks hot from his gaze fixed on you and only you. The sound of the opening credits for the show you were supposed to be watching was playing in the background yet you could only look at each other.
There wasn’t a beat missed as he leaned down, lips against yours in a soft, yet cautious kiss. He felt like he had to play it safe, although the way you were feverishly returning the kiss told him all that he needed to know.
There was a fiery passion as your lips slotted together, almost as if they were made for one another. Your hands were moving to tangle in his hair, legs now wrapped around his waist as you both gave in to your urges that were always bubbling under the surface for however long you’d known the loveable genius.
It felt right, in a way. The way your were wrapped in one another’s embrace while having a moment of passion that you never expected to happen. However you had to admit, this was better than you ever thought.
Spencer was pulling out of the kiss, face flushed as he stared down at you with a shy smile. “It felt right. I’m sorry.” He whispered, only being pleased with the way you responded by pulling him down to connect your lips again, wanting to savor another moment as if he were going to disappear in thin air if you let him get too far.
The kiss had escalated soon enough, both of your clothes in a pile on the floor as you were tangled up on the couch, nothing but underwear separating you from each other. “Are you sure that you want this?” Spencer soon asked, his forehead against yours. Your friendship was always special to him, so naturally, he was worried about preserving those positive memories and the relationship as a whole.
“Definitely sure. I’ve thought about this for years.” For once, you were genuine. There was no hint of sarcasm dripping from your tone. That’s how he knew this was serious. “I’ve always loved you. I know you know that because I tell you all the time but it’s.. It's different than loving your best friend.”
Your confession had Spencer’s cheeks bright red, head nodding slowly to show he was paying attention. “Y-yeah. I love you more than a friend too.” He said slowly while he was bringing his hands down your hips, his fingertips tracing over your hot skin as he was hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties.
Your hips lifted to assist him tugging your underwear down, your own cheeks hot from being exposed in one of your most intimate areas. It wasn’t like you hadn’t had sex before and you had confidence when you did but this seemed different.
“I need.. Hold on.” Spencer began while pushing himself up a bit, your watching with a raised eyebrow as you propped yourself up on your elbows. He went for his slacks, getting his wallet.
“Are you gonna pay me for this?”
“What?! No! I-I just..” He began, shuffling through the wallet before he was pulling a condom from one of the wallet folds.
“You have a condom? You were planning for this?”
“No! I have.. I asked Derek for one. Obviously not for tonight but I had to be prepared!” He said quickly while tossing his wallet on the table.
You didn’t tease him any farther, instead your eyes gazing over his body as he was shimmying out of his boxers while standing. Just kissing you had his cock semi-hard, his hand wrapping around his shaft to give a few pumps in order to complete the process although it wasn’t too hard with the anticipation of what was to come tonight.
After sliding on the contraception, he was heading over to get settled between your legs. His eyes were glancing over your glistening pussy, your arousal shining in the dim light of the living room. “Wow.” He whispered, hand moving between your thighs as his thumb pressed against your throbbing clit. The pressure alone was enough to make your mouth go slack.
“Fuck.” You breathed while feeling the pad of his thumb start to rub your clit, your arousal coating it with each swipe. He was taking his time with teasing you, at least.
When he was finished with massaging the bundle of nerves and he couldn’t hold back any more, he was grabbing his cock before lining his tip along with your entrance, thick tip breaching your slick cunt as he was slowly pushing into you when you were both ready enough.
There was a pleasurable burn as he was stretching out your inner walls, your hands tightly gripping onto his shoulders as you pulled his body down onto yours just to feel his skin against yours. It was oddly more intimate than you could’ve expected, even with him staying perfectly still with his cock nestled deep inside of you.
There was a soft gasp leaving your lips when he gave a slow thrust, just testing the waters for now as he didn’t wanna go too crazy before you were ready. He didn’t plan on going super hard anyway, that wasn’t who he was. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Keep going.” You urged.
Once you proved comfortable enough due to your persistence, Spencer’s thrusts began to pick up a steady pace and rhythm. Your moans were enough encouragement for him to feel confident enough in the act, not shying away from you as much as anyone would’ve expected.
They rhythmic sound of his skin slapping against yours coupled with your gasps, shaky breaths and moans were filling the living room, the long forgotten show still filling the background noise. Spencer had since embraced you, one arm wrapped under your frame as the other kept himself pushed up over you. He just wanted to feel you close, to hold you as he made love to you.
It was beautiful to him, the way you were holding him and keeping him close in return. It was like you were the only people in the world, no responsibilities other than being close to one another. The warmth of your flushed skin against his was all he needed to be happy.
It was a dream, essentially. A dream so vibrant that Spencer didn’t want it to end, even if he knew that realistically he couldn’t be in a dreamland forever.
As he was torn from his thoughts at the feeling of your hands on his cheeks, he was offering you a smile as you were locking eyes with one another. “I love you.” He said softly, repeating what you’d both confessed earlier while leaning down to press his lips against yours.
It was after the fact whenever you were finally speaking again, body sitting up from the spot you were in on the couch as Spencer had retreated to the kitchen to dispose of the used condom. “Do you wanna come take a shower with me? No funny business.” You put your hands up in defense.
“No. It’s too personal for me to see you naked.” For the first time, Spencer was the one to be sarcastic with you, making you both burst into laughter.
“I’ve taught you well. Come on.”
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pretty in pink, but my head’s in the dark | L.DH
CONTENT WARNINGS: minors do not interact. HYUCK’S A PANTY STEALER 🗣️ afab!reader. this came out funnier that I initially planned, light humor, fluff-ish, hyuck's a little obsessive, a little nasty and a bit of a freak. cunnilingus. unprotected sex (wrap your willy before getting silly) gagging with the use of panties (very brief LOL). hyuck has a big dick, creampie (y/n is on the pill). aftercare (briefly).
WORD COUNT: 6.1K
a/n: drinking game: take a shot every time I said ‘panties’ ALSO this was inspired by an ask I've gotten from @celeste-hoon I couldn't stop thinking about it so I made it into a one-shot enjoy!
“there’s something about me falling apart that makes it so easy to sleep in your arms.” — Give Me A Kiss by Lolo Zouaï
Rooming with the opposite sex was the least of your problems.
Not when money was tight and you were desperate enough to snatch the opportunity as soon as it presented itself.
Lee Donghyuck was someone you couldn’t quite wrap your head around. There were only a few things you’ve managed to note from the limited time you’ve come to know him—one of them being he was one of Mark’s closest friends, arguably his best friend actually from how often you’ve seen Donghyuck hanging off of his shoulder and painting the perfect picture of someone who made being arm-candy their entire personality.
This clingy, whiny little thing that liked to push buttons for sport had raised all sorts of suspicions, mostly because you never had the luxury to experience what it was like being around someone whose presence was able to fill one big room if you were being honest. Which then begs the question: why him? Why him as a roommate?
As intimidating Donghyuck came off at first, you’ve quickly learned that he wasn’t all that bad, nor was he close to the insufferable image you mind had initially conjured. Soon as you were made of his existence, it’s like Donghyuck was present at every get-together you were invited to. Not that you minded, but there were times where you would feel a little awkward, or a little left out during conversations as if he was avoiding you all together.
(A little voice inside you heard told you that maybe Donghyuck also found you intimidating. Mark and the rest of your friends that completed the little circle expressed the same. The only difference was they quickly warmed up to you).
It didn’t pose a problem for too long though.
Over time, the frigid awkwardness gradually melted into a river of calm as Donghyuck grew more and more comfortable with you. From tight-lipped smiles and simple, acknowledging nods he had no problems gracing you with excited grins and a melodic holler of your name right when you entered his visage. You’d never tell anyone, but you found the drastic change quite endearing. It’s like the road-blocks to your then tentative friendship never existed as Donghyuck laughed heartily at one of your exaggerated, work-related anecdotes.
You should probably thank Mark for this, give him that long overdue gift basket while you’re at it. After all, he knew exactly how to appeal to people, so it really didn’t take you much time to cave in on his—and Donghyuck’s—insistence. Not to mention it was too good of a deal to pass up. He lived in a modest, two-bedroom apartment situated at the nicer part of the city and he was charging you less from what he did of his previous roommate who packed up a few months ago.
(“It’s really not an issue,” Donghyuck assured, “as long as you clean up after yourself and keep the apartment from looking like a pigsty, you won’t have to worry about it.”)
Hearing the last bit was the cherry on-top to solidify your decision, and months down the line, you have yet to see a reason to regret it.
Donghyuck was great as a friend, but he was even better as a roommate. You often joked to yourself that you’ve given Mark a run of his money from how close you and your roommate had become.
“Hey.”
You tore your attention from your phone just in time to look up and see the man himself stride into the kitchen.
“Hi,” you greeted back, mirroring the gentle smile he adorned. “You headed to work?” You settled on watching Donghyuck rifle through the fridge. He was dressed a bit more laid-back than his usual work attire of slacks and a crisp dress-shirt. The details of his job wasn’t exactly talked about, but he did mention he works for a tech company and perhaps it paid well if he could afford under-charging your share of the rent.
Donghyuck hummed as he let the refrigerator door close itself from behind him, stalking towards you with his face relaxing into something neutral.
“Yeah, there’s some stuff I have to work on with Jaemin.” he arched an eyebrow at your current set-up—dressed lazily in an all too big shirt, a pair of old gym shorts that were probably from your high school years and fluffy socks he got for you just because—once he rounded the breakfast nook, a hip resting against the granite edge.
“It’s your night-off, right? Got anything planned while I’m gone?”
“Why?” you gave him a wry smile, “running away from chores?”
“Guilty.” Donghyuck grinned something boyish as he raised both hands in mock surrender, causing you to snort while lifting the cup of coffee to your lips.
“I’m kidding,” you said, smacking your lips together after a much needed sip for what you had planned for today. “But yeah, I’m gonna clean up a bit and do some laundry.” Last you checked, your designated hamper was about to overflow and you were anticipating a lazy weekend without having to do anything except enjoy some solitude. Donghyuck was more than welcome to join you. “Do you want me to do yours?”
“If you don’t mind, sure. I’d appreciate it,” he smiled, sounding grateful as he gave his wristwatch a quick check. He clicked his tongue, “fuck. Gotta leave soon,” Donghyuck eyed you for a moment before plucking the warm cup from your hand and downed the entire thing.
“Dude! You could have poured yourself a cup!”
“What’s yours in mine, Y/N.” He cackled, cooing at the twist of your face. “And you’re wearing my shirt. I think it’s fair I’d have some of your coffee.”
With wide eyes, you looked down. Fuck. He got you on that one.
“What time do you think you’ll be home?” You asked, trailing right after him as he got ready by the front door. You plucked his set of keys for him, handing it over as he thanked you.
“Not sure. I’ll text you,” Donghyuck looks at you while putting on his coat. “Are you gonna cook, or do you want me to get take-out for dinner?”
“Take-out sounds good, if you’re gonna run a little late.”
It’s silent after that. The only sounds heard were of Donghyuck continuing to fuss with either his clothes or his things. Making sure that he hadn’t forgotten anything important that he might need for the day and for some reason, amidst all that rushing, he found time to regard you with an unreadable look.
You couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. His stares always felt so intense, as if there was an actual purpose besides making you feel so seen underneath the darkness of his eyes. There was something very different to them now though. You couldn’t quite put your finger on what exactly changed and just as you were about to question him, Donghyuck’s lips stretched into a blinding smile and it was enough to completely derail your train of thought.
He took this chance to reach out and ruffle your hair, giggling when you smacked his hand away.
“I’ll see you later, bye!”
“Bye!” You hollered from where you peaked out of the front door. “Don’t forget the food!”
Here’s the thing. You had a bit of an on-going problem.
Should it even be considered a problem?
It’s just, a handful of your underwear was missing and if you lose another, you might as well descend into madness because half of the shit that vanished into thin air cost you a generous penny. Your panty problem was embarrassing enough as it is and the thought of telling someone could potentially send you into cardiac arrest.
The first time it happened, you didn’t think much of it.
It was just one pair, granted that it was one of your cuter ones that you had somewhat formed an attachment to, but the optimistic side of you expected the undergarment to just turn up during a time where you’d least expect it. It always seemed to happen. Like the times you’ve lost one of your IDs and claw clips—on separate occasions—only for them to turn up at the most random places.
Donghyuck often joked that there was a ghost who liked to play tricks. You could still feel the satisfying sting bloom from your palm right after you smacked him hard enough on the thigh to make him scream.
Besides, you had plenty of similar looking panties to the one you’ve lost. It wasn’t much of a big deal.
That was until it happened again, and again, and again.
It’s consistent now. The mysterious disappearances of your panties that at some point, it started to freak you out. You were definitely toeing the line that separated sane and insane because you caved and mentioned it to your roommate. You lived with him anyway. Donghyuck has definitely seen you at your worst, puking your fucking guts into the toilet after a rather heavy night of drinking and what’s telling him about your panty problem gonna do besides crush you dignity into dust particles?
Donghyuck brought up the ghost again, calling it a pervert this time and since he was rehashing the past, you thought smacking him hard as you did the first time was fair. His scream was just as loud, and the sting was just as satisfying.
It did bring back some of your panties though. Some haphazardly shoved into the drawer where your intimates were kept and the rest thrown into your laundry. You thought it was an odd coincidence, that they just magically showed up once Donghyuck was made aware of your ‘problem’.
Now, you weren’t one to point fingers unless you’ve found pretty damning evidence, but there was a niggling thought at the back of your mind that maybe, just maybe, your elusive roommate had something to do with all of this.
Donghyuck was a good roommate for the most part. Arguably the best among all of the roommates you lived with in the past. Donghyuck was fun, truly the life of the party and the life of your shared apartment. Loud at times and a little too scheming for his own good, but the fact that Donghyuck took good care of you—knew how to take good care of you was enough to outweigh what could be considered annoying to anyone else; enough for you to look past Donghyuck’s tendency of becoming a menace to the poor soul that caught his attention.
If he was behind the consistent vanishing of your panties, where a bunch of them definitely cost more than what you would usually pay for something that kept you modest, he sure acted normal about it. You’d expect him to tease you, drop hints about keeping your underwear hostage or something equally absurd and brain damaging; psychological warfare was on the table too if he was in the mood to revel in you absolutely lose your fucking mind, yet he did nothing of the sort.
Lee Donghyuck was notorious for being brazen in anything he does; has this constant need to prove he’s the best at everything once challenged—it was a medical condition at this point. He was ridiculously competitive to a fault—Donghyuck talked big. Donghyuck carried himself with a gait that just screamed ‘confident’. Self-assured Lee Donghyuck that could charm anyone with a smile and nothing in his body language so far showed that he was guilty of getting his hands into places that were deemed off-limits and—
And.
There was no perverted, panty-stealing ghost.
The ghost was surprisingly human, but just as freakish. And very very guilty. That you were most definitely sure of this time.
Because at the very bottom of your roommate’s hamper lay your black, lacy panties that you got as a gag gift from one of your friends. Used.
Oh, that son of a bitch.
If Donghyuck knew how to act normal, you sure as hell didn’t.
What the hell were you supposed to do after the panty-stealer revelation?
Exactly. Nothing, because you honest to God had no clue on what to do except snatch your cum-stained panties and carry on with doing the laundry. You were never given advice for this particular situation and you knew damn well there was no ‘For Dummies’ book that could help you on this. What you did know was that you’re a dummy, and will forever be a dummy, because, duh, all signs pointed to your roommate, yet you turned a blind eye.
(Let’s not forget that your list of culprit(s) wasn’t exactly a list. It was just a piece of crumpled paper. with ‘Hyuckie’ messily scrawled on it. You were definitely not made for detective work, damn).
Dinner was had with the promised take-out Donghyuck brought home with him and you absolutely despised how you were hyper aware of everything as soon as your roommate came trudging into the apartment just a few minutes past eight o’clock. Fortunately for you, you acted normal enough that Donghyuck didn’t seem to catch on that you were now made aware of his occasional debauchery involving your poor, violated panties.
Now you were left alone in the kitchen. The dishes were already put away in the dishwasher a good moment or two ago and now you were pacing back and forth, debating on your next move.
You could just barge in and grill him about the fact that you caught him red-handed, but he looked pretty beat when the both of you ate. Livid as you were with the now dubbed panty-stealer, you were nice enough to not potentially send him to the ER.
Female rage was a real thing and Donghyuck was lucky enough that you were still merciful to not cause any permanent damage.
So, a gentle approach it was.
Except, your succeeding knocks on his door weren't exactly gentle. They were probably strong enough to be heard by the neighbors and you had plenty of time to reflect on your actions later, so you didn’t dwell on that too much right now.
It took Donghyuck a good while to open the door and you didn’t want to even think about what he could be doing in his bedroom. You had a long day and your patience was at its thinnest—
The door opened, and you were greeted by a very confused Donghyuck.
“Yes? What is it?”
Static noise. All you heard in your head right now was static noise. Maybe this was a bad idea. You should probably try again when you have your head on straight, or when you were actually at your strongest.
Donghyuck looked a little ruffled. His hair looked fluffier than normal, mussed up from tossing and turning on his bed maybe. The shirt he was wearing was definitely a piece he picked up in haste judging by the creases you’re seeing. Donghyuck’s thick-framed glasses were slightly askew on his nose, framing those sleepy eyes and the equally sleepy, guileless smile he graced you with almost had you fooled.
Until you saw a flash of lilac peeking from underneath his pillow, starkly bright against his dark blue sheets.
Now, this could go two ways: one, you push Donghyuck aside to get into his bedroom, take the lilac pair and give him the scolding of your life or—
“Are you seriously just gonna stand there and not say anything?”
“Panties.”
You craned your neck just in time to see his once annoyed front morph into surprise.
“My panties,” you repeated, making yourself clearer this time. “give them back.”
Then the surprise quickly flattened into a neutral expression, before saying something that was way off from what you were expecting.
“Yeah sure, come in.”
Everything that came after was way off from what you were expecting.
You trailed after your roommate just like you did this morning, but you made sure to keep a distance because you didn’t trust yourself enough to withhold the urge of clawing his eyes out.
“Here,” Donghyuck pulled the drawer of his nightstand open, “take your pick.”
You must be going crazy because there was no fucking way this was actually happening right now.
The drawer was half-filled with your panties alright (the expensive ones too!) and all you could do was stare at Donghyuck like he had sprouted another head.
Then came the yelling, and oh boy did you yell.
Donghyuck appeared unbothered by how you were practically screaming yourself hoarse. He didn’t even falter when you grilled him for being caught red-handed. It’s almost like he didn’t care that you did. He barely blinked at your long-winded spiel of not crossing established boundaries and how important it was to value privacy. You know, shit Donghyuck loved to test his luck on, consequences be damned.
The sleazy grin was enough to tell you that his mind was somewhere else too, and you just knew the thoughts currently piling up in that big fat head of his would definitely have a conservative clutching their pearls for dear life.
The sigh you breathed out was harsh. Exasperated.
“Why do you even have these?”
Donghyuck shrugged. “So I can jerk off to you,” he said. Said it as if he was talking about the weather—like it was something menial. “They’re pretty good jerk-off material, if I do say so myself.”
Shameless. Always so shameless. You didn’t even know what to say. Having that knowledge didn’t prepare you enough to deal with the nonchalance Donghyuck presented and the slow show of the smirk pulling at his lips was all you needed to know that he was indeed proud of what he did.
“Okay! Well, I’m gonna take these and—“ fuck off to your room and lock yourself up in there until the mortification settled? Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. Then you could forget all this happened and probably start apartment hunting as soon as you could.
But Donghyuck was always quicker than you were—always two steps ahead that before you could even attempt to swipe everything from that fucking panty drawer, he had you stay in place with a tight grip on your wrist.
“God, you make it really hard for me to stay away, y’know.”
Donghyuck completely ignored your panicked yelp and he took it upon himself to keep you from escaping. “I really tried my best, but all I could think about is fucking you on every flat surface of this damn apartment.” You were crowded against him and you could very well get out of this if you actually tried, but the grounding feeling of Donghyuck’s warm hand splayed against your lower back and his blunt confession was what stopped you from struggling.
Your compliance earned you a low chuckle and a pleased curl of your roommates lips. “Do you know what that's like?” The whisper of his warm breath against your neck had you shudder in his hold, big hands pawing at the softness of your waist. “Having what you want right there in front of you, but knowing you can’t touch it? It’s enough to drive someone insane.”
There was a sharp intake of breath right when you felt the soft press of his plump lips against the little notch where your neck and shoulder met. “It’s enough to drive me insane.” Donghyuck started trailing higher and higher, leaving a scorching path, until you’re facing him head on.
Donghyuck had this certain richness to his eyes, something dark and intense brewing in the endless pools and up until now, you’ve never felt so seen ever in your life, as if Donghyuck was trying to unravel you with his eyes alone. It was working, you thought, because all ideas of getting yourself out of this situation dissipated the moment his lips brushed against the shell of your ear.
“Won’t you let me have a taste?”
This posed another problem.
You weren’t actually against this.
“Since when?”
“Hm?”
“Since when have you felt this way about me?”
He pulled back to look you in the eyes again, and amidst the intensity clouding them, there was something more soft, fonder, if you will.
The corner of his mouth twitched, letting out a soft snort. “When was the first time we met?”
Oh.
“That long?” Nod. “That’s like, months ago.” Nod and a hum. “You’ve wanted to fuck me since that long?”
This time, Donghyuck laughed with his entire body. Laughed until he leaned most of his body weight onto you with your foreheads pressed against each other's. “Yes, for that long.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, fuck me then.”
The look Donghyuck gave you was all sorts of comical. Like he wasn’t believing what he was hearing until that was all wiped off when you took the initiative and leaned in to kiss him.
You weren’t blind, nor were you stupid either, but that’s besides the point. The confidence and self-assurance was already spoken for when you have a face like Donghyuck’s. It just made sense and you really couldn’t fault that larger-than-life ego he has.
And fuck if you were going to let the opportunity of getting your brains fucked out by your (admittedly) hot roommate slip from your hands.
The kiss was hot, wet and all sorts of desperate. Donghyuck kissed like he was desperate, alright and you could just feel how much he wanted this—how much he wanted you from how close he was keeping you against him. Donghyuck really was serious on his claim of wanting to fuck you, because now he was kissing you like he was fucking your mouth with his tongue.
It’s all sorts of dirty, and maybe you were just as fucked in the head as your roommate was with the whole panty-stealing situation because you found this side of him extremely hot.
He had you underneath him now and you were definitely going to commit this to memory.
Donghyuck looked so good for no reason with your legs bracketing his broader frame. He had shed his shirt, thrown it somewhere in his room to reveal the miles upon miles of tawny skin that glowed underneath the warmth of his fairy lights. Just like his devastatingly pretty face, there were moles kissing so much of the smooth skin and you, just as desperate, wanted to map each and every one with your lips.
But Donghyuck was also impatient that you couldn’t even get a single blink in before he yanked your shorts down to your ankles.
He took one good look and there, an insufferable grin had almost split his face into two. You honestly didn’t know whether you wanted to smack or kiss it off. Maybe both. Something told you he’d enjoy either.
“Oh, that’s absolutely precious.” Donghyuck cooed, staring rather intently at what was covering your modesty, almost like he wanted to unhinge his jaw and swallow you whole. “I always thought you’d look pretty in pink.” He tossed your shorts over his shoulder and leaned in close, warm hands holding onto your spread thighs.
“You would know,” you snarked. “Did you steal this one too?”
“Probably a month ago, yeah. Felt real good rubbing my dick with it.”
He soiled this one too! “Fuck you.”
“You’re about to,” fucking smartass. “And relax, pretty girl. I’ll take good care of you.” You didn’t even notice how tense you were until Donghyuck was coaxing you to calm down with the gentle strokes along your thighs. He kissed and nipped at the inside of them too, no doubt leaving his traces of reds and purples to bloom and bruise as a reminder. “You know I’ll take good care of you. Always have and always will.”
You could only let out a strangled moan as a response right after he purposefully nipped at the tendon connecting your thigh and crotch, chuckling quietly to himself.
“Fuck. you smell so good,” and God knows you should find it gross, the sight of him taking a long whiff of your scent, pressing his nose against the dampened material of your panties which got him a startled yelp, yet all it did was make you impossibly horny than you already were. And not to be dramatic, but you might actually die if he doesn’t shove his face into your soaking cunt in the next second.
Donghyuck seemed to have sensed your distress and just as you were about voice out your rivaling impatience, his nimble fingers slid underneath the soft and stretchy material of your underwear, pulling them down slowly, purposefully as if he was unwrapping a gift specifically catered to his tastes.
There was something sinister alight in his gaze, hungry even, as he zeroed in on the place where you ached for him the most. You failed to suppress the shiver that wracked your body once Donghyuck’s hot breath ghosted against your bare pussy.
And then he dove in.
You cried out his name, which only spurred him on even further.
Everything fell deaf to Donghyuck’s ears the moment the taste of you hit his tongue and it might have done something to him because he licked, nipped and sucked on your cunt as if starved, as if this was his only source of life. The very last oasis of a never ending desert. He paid equal amounts of attention to your sensitive clit as well as your drenched hole. Alternating from kitten licks, firm sucks to delving his hot tongue into you before replacing the muscle with two long and thick fingers that rubbed deliciously against your wet, twitching walls.
This was definitely an assault to all of your senses. The ticklish caresses from Donghyuck’s hair to the pleasured moans from you and the man in between your thighs, this was all too much. You were so overwhelmed that you didn’t even know what to do with your hands. They went from tugging at the shirt you were still wearing, to desperately pulling at your roommate's dark sheets.
Donghyuck, without even stopping from essentially making out with your pussy, shot his hand out to grab one of yours and place it on top of his head. He gave you a meaningful look and this was probably the only time where you actually looked at him.
His cheeks were flushed, hair pushed back to show his smooth forehead along with his gorgeous face and this debauched version of Donghyuck, skin damp with sweat and your slick did a little something to your heart and pussy.
“You can pull as hard as you want,” he mumbled against your skin. “like it when it hurts a little.” and it’s a miracle you hadn’t come right then and there.
Holy shit. Was he going even harder? The spontaneous movements of his tongue and fingers were too much for you to handle. Pleasure intensified to new and impossible heights that had your eyes rolling back into your head. Donghyuck groaned at the tightening of your fingers, effectively pulling on his hair, hurting just the way he liked it and the vibrations were enough to have you screaming out his name, gushing all over his face and tongue.
You moaned pathetically at the firm press of Donghyuck’s lips against your own. This kiss was much much messier, needier and just as hot and tasting yourself was not what you were expecting at all, but it intermingled with the sweet taste of your roommate was something you’d never thought you’d like.
“Think you can go one more for me?”
Your eyes fluttered open to find that Donghyuck had shed every item of clothing he had, plus the glasses that were placed carefully on his bedside table.
“Yeah. Yeah—just, give me a sec.”
Donghyuck grinned something very annoying and you grimaced.
“Don’t let that inflate your already big head, idiot,” you snapped, but let him manhandle you anyways. “You made me come with your mouth and fingers, sure. But can you make me come with your dick?”
“Is that a challenge, pretty girl?” He said right after he settled behind and pulled you close, your bare ass pressed against his pelvis. “Why don’t you find out?”
What you felt rubbing in between your ass cheeks was definitely not small at all and because you were curious by nature, you made the mistake of looking behind you.
“What the fuck,” you breathed out. “What the hell is that?”
You could just tell how much that added to his already massive ego, if the smug, asshole-ish grin was anything to go by.
“My dick,” he said, his grin growing impossibly wider at your expression of disbelief. “Think you can take it?”
God, he was so full of himself. No wonder he walked like he had the biggest dick around town, because he actually did! It was definitely the biggest you’ve ever seen, and will be the biggest you’ll ever take in your life. You could only hope you won’t accidentally die impaled on his cock after this.
“Think you can take me without busting one under a minute?”
Then came an unsettling quiet , like the type of quiet where you knew you pushed your luck to its very limits and fucked up. You didn’t dare look behind you, stubbornly keeping your gaze forward.
“Are you done?” There was no humor to his tone when he spoke and when he laughed at the lack of your immediate response, it sounded mean. Threatening, Deadly.
“I said—” his hand held your jaw in a tight grip, forcing your neck to twist at an uncomfortable angle to look at him. His eyes were crazed and yeah, you definitely pissed him off—“are you done bitching?”
“Yes!” You yelped at the sudden smack that came down on your thigh and if this was any other situation, you would have joked that the smack was his revenge when you had done the same to him. “Yes, I’m done. I’m sorry.”
“Good,” Donghyuck mumbled and much to your relief, he let you go letting you sag onto your side. He doesn't let you completely melt though. The firm hold around your waist remained the way it was as Donghyuck lifted your leg up so it was resting on top of his and just by him teasing your cunt with the tip of his cock was enough to send you over to the edge.
It was like he was doing this on purpose. Sinking into your heat as slow as he could just to watch you squirm and sadly, it was working. The stretch definitely burned. Donghyuck was girthier with an above average length than the previous men that you’ve been with, and it was taking you longer than usual to adjust around the intrusion. At least your roommate was enjoying himself, moaning into your ear unabashedly at every clench of your pussy.
You could feel Donghyuck shudder once he was buried to the hilt, groaning into the crook of your neck when you involuntarily squeezed. “Please tell me I can move.”
Well, at least he was courteous enough to ask for your consent.
“Please,” you hissed, gripping on the arm that was around your waist for dear life. “you’re not the only one losing their fucking mind here.”
His laugh was breathless, arms tightening around you as he pulled back— “love it when you beg—” and fucking into you.
The pace he set was immediately brutal and the partial stinging melted away into overwhelming pleasure as Donghyuck pulled out a myriad of sounds that only encouraged him to do more. You kind of wished you could see him. You wanted to watch him unravel there right in front of you, but you’d have to settle with the litany of moans and gasps being spoken into your skin, Donghyuck’s personal way of branding himself onto your person.
“Fuck—tell me you want me.”
The voice that came out of him sounded like it wasn’t his own. There was something greedy and possessive accompanying each syllable spoken so reverently that it immediately convinced you that you do—you do want him, that you want him as much as he wanted you, that you want him as much as Donghyuck will let you want him.
“Tell me that you need me.”
“Want you—ah! Need you all the time, Hyuckie.”
And that was all it took for him to fuck you like he meant it.
You’ve let yourself completely take all of him in; all inhibitions thrown straight out of the window as you were practically screaming his name to the heavens. Donghyuck had lifted your thigh higher and the change of angle had you in tears from the way every ridge and vein of his cock rubbed against your sensitive walls. You were so going to be sore tomorrow, and it definitely didn’t help that Donghyuck was fucking you so hard that your pussy might as well remember the shape of him and ruin every guy out there for you.
“Fuckin’ christ,” Donghyuck hissed, “you’re a loud thing, aren’t you? Always knew you were a mouthy one for a reason.” God, you were already so wound up, was he seriously going to edge you too?
“Open your mouth,” You made a confused noise when your roommate halted his movements, followed by some rustling just right by your head. You were too far gone anyway, so you didn’t even question the strange request and did as you were told.
Only for him to shove the same lilac pair of panties you saw peeking out underneath his pillow right past your lips.
You couldn’t react quick enough as Donghyuck started picking up the pace before you could even register what he did, returning to the brutal successions of thrusts that stung the back of your thighs. All you could do was lay there, take everything Donghyuck gave you—use you until he was satisfied. There was a steady swirl of heat in your gut that grew and grew at each plow of his hips and it won’t be long until you’d come for the second time tonight.
It looked like Donghyuck was close to coming too. His movements were becoming sloppy; erratic and the grip on your thigh was almost painfully tight that it wouldn't be too much of a surprise if bruises in the shape of Donghyuck’s fingers was left.
“Gonna come,” Donghyuck huffed, followed by the sound of him gritting his teeth, mostly likely to keep himself going for longer. “Where?”
“‘m close too,” your voice came out unevenly, and muffled. “In me. Come in me. Now.”
You could just feel him twitch at that and maybe he actually liked you being mouthy because he yanked the panties from your mouth. “Don’t wanna make you sore, pretty. You have work tomorrow.”
“It’ll be worth it—shit,” you gasped, one hand clawing at the sheets as the other set of fingers reached back to comb through his hair to pull, clenching down on him for good measure. “I’ll call in sick if I can't take the pain. Johnny likes me enough. Just fuckin’ do it, Hyuck. Come on.”
You cried out at one pointed thrust that came just after mentioning your boss’ name. “Hyuck, please. pleasepleaseplease—“
It was a dirty tactic. You knew it was, but morals weren’t exactly thought about when you’re getting dick down and it was worth the strangled groan Donghyuck let out as he painted your inner walls with thick ropes of white. You came shortly after and slumped face down onto his bed, reveling in the pleasant buzzing underneath your skin with both of your breathing filling your ears.
“We should talk about this, y’know.”
Donghyuck snapped his head up, pausing from his task to give you a bland look.
“Can we not do this when I’m wiping your pussy clean?”
“I’m serious!” You whined, but spread your legs anyway to make his job easier.
“And I’m serious too! Cleaning yourself after sex is important,” He tossed the damp tissue into the waste bin as he pouted, now having the gall to appear embarrassed after defiling you in his own bed. “And it’s like, pretty obvious that I’m crazy about you.”
“You stole my panties, I think that checks out,” you mused, giggling at the wounded noise Donghyuck let out as he tucked himself beside you, getting up all in your space to gather you into his warmth. “Couldn’t you tell me you liked me like a normal person?”
Even while holding you in his arms, Donghyuck managed to shrug as he nuzzled his face into the crown of your head. “I did say I was crazy about you. I think anything normal would be above my pay grade.”
Besides, it was about damn time you finally confronted him about your missing panties. It’s been going on for so long that If he didn’t plant the cum-stained pair into his laundry hamper, the chase might have even last at least a decade.
“You’re on laundry duty next week, by the way. Don’t think I didn’t see the used ones in your load.”
Donghyuck grinned, giggling mostly to himself as he rubbed his nose against your hair.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”
I’ll take care of you.
a/n: the word 'panties' is fr going to haunt my dreams tonight omfg 😭
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You Come Back With Gravity
alexia and r have an argument. r misunderstands, and when alexia leaves to calm down, she thinks she's going for good.
angst + fluff :)
-----
Alexia was big on communication, and she didn't like to fight. Neither did you, although your track record in past relationships may argue otherwise. That was more on your former partners, though, than it was on you. Not fighting was new for you. Alexia never yelled, and she insisted that the two of you talk about any issues that were going on calmly, and like adults. A voice had never been raised between the two of you, arguments never escalating to full blown shouting matches, mostly because of Alexia's insistence that they didn't.
Something about this argument, though, felt different. Alexia had proposed a few weeks ago, and, after having a bit too much to drink, you'd brought up something that had been nagging at the back of your mind for a while. Alexia had brushed it aside that night, and again and again since, until you practically forced her to talk about it. Normally, when you presented Alexia with an issue you had, she was quick to try to fix it. Your teammates often joked about the complete 180 Alexia did when she was around you, melting and agreeing to anything you asked of her. You were the same way for her, but it was more surprising that their normally very willful captain so easily did as you said.
If Alexia wouldn't budge on an issue, she normally had a reason, and you didn't require her to explain herself to you. This was different, though. You needed an explanation, before your mind continued to take off in the worst directions.
"Alexia, do you not see that this is important to me?"
"I do, amor, but there is no room for discussion. We are not going public with our relationship. It has stayed low key for this long, and I intend to keep it that way." Alexia was quickly losing her patience with you, and you could tell. Still, you persisted.
'You won't even give me a reason, Ale! Is this what our relationship is going to be like for the rest of our lives? You make a decision that affects both of us, and I just have to live with it?" Your voice was slightly raised and you could tell Alexia was upset. You were pacing around the room, and she was sitting, completely still, on the couch. Alexia was never still. A part of her was always moving.
"I am not changing my mind on this, mi amor." Alexia told you calmly, although her jaw clenched tight when she finished speaking.
"Okay, well that's it. You don't care what I think. Whatever you say goes, is that it?" You were using anger to hide how terrified you were. There was really only one reason that you could think of to explain Alexia's complete refusal to be transparent about your relationship.
"You know that it is not."
"This is absurd, Ale, we can't even have a conversation without you-"
"¡Basta! Stop yelling, I do not want to talk anymore about this," Alexia shouted finally, rising to her feet.
"I am yelling because you are not listening to me,"
"You are not listening to me. No more of this, we can discuss it when we are both calmer."
"I don't want to push this aside again, I would like to resolve it now." You tried to calm yourself down slightly despite your words, drawing in a few deep breaths as you waited for your fiancée to respond.
"It is resolved. There is no discussion to be had. There is no other option; we are not going public. No."
You let out a humorless laugh, and Alexia's eyebrows shot up. She did not like to be laughed at.
"You aren't being fair, Alexia. I deserve an explanation for why you are so very ashamed of me, to the point you don't want anyone to know we are together."
Alexia rolled her eyes, not taking your statement seriously. She thought you were just being dramatic, there was no way you really believed that. You did believe it, though and Alexia's complete dismissal in the face of your admitted vulnerability made you furious.
"Jesus, Alexia. Fine. You get your way. As usual. Captain Alexia always gets what she wants." You yelled, throwing yourself down on the couch dramatically and burying your head in your hands. You didn't want to cry while you were fighting with her, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You knew you weren't being fair, or particularly nice but Alexia had hurt your feelings and she didn't even seem to understand why.
It was dead silent for a full minute before Alexia let out a long, drawn out exhale, and spoke.
"You are being mean. I am going to go to Alba's."
Her words were stiff, clearly communicating how upset she was with you, and you whipped your head up to look at her, watching as she headed towards the door, grabbing her keys. She put her airpods in, but you didn't see her do so.
"Ale? Are you coming back?" You called, voice full of insecurity.
Alexia couldn't hear you, not with her music playing as loud as it was, and she walked out the door without acknowledging that you'd spoken.
You were frozen. This was what you always did; take a small fight and push it so far that the other person finally saw that you weren't worth the trouble. It hadn't happened with Alexia yet because you'd never fought with her. It wasn't enough that she didn't want anyone to know the two of you were together, you had to push her until she didn't want to be with you, period.
You were an over-thinker to your core, and you were convinced, absolutely, that you had just destroyed the most important relationship that you'd ever had. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, the suffocating weight of thinking that the woman you loved was not coming back taking over.
You weren't sure why you were surprised. People left, people always left. Why would this be any different? Alexia was the best person you'd ever known, and she deserved far better than what you could give her, even when you were at your best. Of course Alexia didn't want anyone to know that she was with you. Of course she didn't want you. You had only yourself to blame.
-----
While you sat alone in your apartment, spiraling, Alexia was driving not to her sisters, but to the beach. She needed some peace and quiet to think, which she surely would not find at Alba's.
She just needed to cool down. You were upset, she was upset, and continuing on like you had been would only lead you both to say things you didn't mean. She'd take an hour, calm down, and head home. Alexia had no idea that you had asked her a question before she'd left, had no idea that you were sitting at home, convinced she was done with you.
The longer she was gone, though, the more guilty she felt. She remembered the look on your face when you'd spoken:
"I deserve an explanation for why you are so very ashamed of me, to the point you don't want anyone to know we are together."
She thought you were just trying to make a point at the time, but as she got space from the fight, and from her own anger, she felt less sure about that judgment. You'd looked distraught when you said it. It would explain why you were so very upset with her reluctance to go public, why you were so very upset with her.
Alexia had watched many relationships fall apart once they hit the public eye; some of her own, and some of them, her friend's. She didn't want that. As long as you two kept this to yourselves, allowing your loved ones and teammates to know and no one else, the media couldn't destroy it. That was Alexia's biggest fear; losing you, and having no control over it.
Of course, you were sat at home, practically catatonic, at the thought that you had lost Alexia.
-----
Alexia didn't even make it an hour like she planned. She was parking in the driveway 44 minutes after she'd left, flowers next to her in the front seat, as she tried to figure out if she'd given you enough space to think. She determined that she had, mostly because she couldn't stand leaving things like this any longer, and she fixed her hair in the mirror, tucking the shorter pieces behind her ears in the way she knew you liked, before grabbing the flowers.
When she had left, it was still light out. It was dark, now, and Alexia was surprised when she opened the door and there was not a light on in the house. She panicked slightly, wondering if you'd left, before spotting your silhouette on the couch. Exactly where you'd been when she left. It looked like you hadn't moved, even an inch. The blonde slipped her shoes off, walking cautiously closer to you, flipping on the light.
You didn't make a move, giving her no indication that you knew she was there with you. Alexia could tell you were trembling, and every breath you drew in came with a small, pained whimper. Alexia was more than concerned, now. She dropped the flowers on the table, before crouching down in front of you.
"Mi amor?" She said softly, weary to touch you, not wanting to startle you.
"Hey, amor?" She spoke slightly louder this time. Still, you didn't even twitch. Tentatively, she reached her hand out, letting her hand wrap around your wrist. She was going to try to pull your hand away from your face, but you beat her to it, jumping a foot in the air at her touch, and scrambling backwards.
"It is me, amor, it is just me," Alexia reassured, throwing her hands up in the air, and not moving any closer.
"Ale?" You gasped, as if you couldn't believe that she was here in front of you. You were half convinced you were hallucinating. It felt like 2 minutes had passed, but also like it had been hours since she left.
"It is just me," Alexia repeated, taking a seat on the very edge of the couch. You were still shaking, and Alexia longed to bring you into her arms.
"What are you doing here?" You asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You came back. Why?"
"Why... why would I not come back? This is our home. Ours. Did you not want me here?" Alexia asked insecurely, entirely confused at your reaction. Your eyes were watery, and you bit your lip, shaking your head at her.
"No, I want you here, I... I asked if you were coming back. And you left without answering."
"Qué?" Alexia asked, looking genuinely confused. Alexia couldn't lie to you, and if she'd ignored something you'd said, she'd admit to it.
"Before you walked out the door, I asked if you were coming back." You explained further, although you were already relaxing slightly. Ale was here, she came back.
A look of realization dawned over your girlfriend's face. "I had my headphones in, amor, I did not hear you."
Now that Alexia could see where your mind had started to go, it wasn't hard to piece the rest of it together. It made sense, suddenly, why you were so upset. You'd thought Alexia had left you.
It was only seconds after that revelation that Alexia was reaching across the couch and pulling you into her arms; one wrapped tightly around your back, the other hand lacing through your hair and pushing your face into her neck. You clung tightly to her, melting into her touch.
"I would never leave you. Not today, not tomorrow. Not ever. I wanted to calm down, so we could have a conversation. I should have thought that through, bebé, I am so sorry."
You shook your head against her. "I shouldn't have overreacted, it was just that you were so upset, and we never fight. You're so good, Ale, it's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always waiting for you to realize that you can do better. I thought you had, I thought that's why you didn't want anyone to know about us."
Alexia shut her eyes tightly. You'd meant what you'd said earlier, then, and she'd completely dismissed it. She guided you away from her, just a bit, cradling your face in her hands. She brushed your hair back out of your face, pursing her lips as she tried to figure out what to say.
"It was not an overreaction. You thought I ignored you, you thought I was leaving. I know how nervous these things make you, mi amor, I should have been clearer."
"Amor, do you think that I want to keep our relationship private because I am ashamed of you?" When Alexia said the words, it felt ridiculous. You knew it was irrational to feel the way you felt, but at the same time… your fear was all encompassing. You tried to lean away from her, preserve some of your dignity even as more tears slid down your face, but Alexia wouldn't let you. "Hey, no. Tell me, por favor.”
“You’re you Ale. And I’m just me. I would understand if you didn’t want people to know you were with me, you should be with someone better, prettier,-”
“Stop.” Alexia said, shaking her head frantically. She looked physically pained at your words. “Stop. You are not allowed to talk about yourself like that. You are mí niña, mí niña perfecta. I am proud that you are mine, everyday. You are the best, you are the prettiest. You are all I need, te prometo que.” The blondes eyes were wide with a desperate need for you to believe her. You wanted to.
“Then why, Ale? Why don’t you want people to know you’re with me?” You chewed on your bottom lip when Alexia didn’t answer right away, and her thumb reached over to lightly tap it. You released your lip, tightening your grip on your girlfriend, only growing more terrified for her answer as time passed.
“You are so perfect.” Alexia started, giving you a stern look when you shook your head on instinct. “It’s so easy with you. So easy to love you, so easy to be with you. The media complicates everything, the fans. They would say horrible things to you and about you. As long as no one knows, I can keep you safe. I can keep you mine. Just mine.”
“Alexia, I’m not worried about that.” You assured her.
“You should be, mi amor, I am worried about it.” Alexia emphasized, and you only really realized the stress this worry was causing her at that moment. “It would not be the first time the media has ruined a relationship, and I do not think I could survive it if I lost you.” The blonde’s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and suddenly, she wasn’t holding you anymore, you were holding her. Cradling her face in your hands as you insistently tried to get her watery, hazel eyes to meet yours.
“Even if the media goes crazy, even if people say mean stuff. I’ll still want you, Ale. It won’t be fun but it’s worth it. If it’s for you? It’s worth it, it’ll always be worth it.”
Alexia let out a sound that was halfway between a sob and a sigh of relief, burying her face in your neck. Her tears were wet against your skin, her breaths ragged and frantic. “Te amo,” she murmured. “You make me so happy, amor. If you are not worried about the media, then I will try not to be. If you want people to know, then we tell. Whatever you want, whatever you need. As long as you know that I love you, that you are perfect, that you are mine, forever. Para siempre.”
Now you were crying, and she was still crying, as she gave you a very wet kiss, and it was entirely more emotional than either of you would have liked, but there was nothing to be done. The perfect relationship, you supposed, was one where you each thought the other to be perfect. Even if you didn’t see yourself that way, Alexia would always be there to convince you of your perfection, as you would for her.
-----
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maybe a bombshell!reader where she is OBSESSED with touching and making out with glasses!reid and he is so confused why she is always all over him. i think bc he never went thru that horny teenage phase, or even the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship, he doesnt quite understand why she is acting that way (not that he's complaining)
tysm for requesting ♡ fem, 1k
There's something soft under Spencer's cheek. His lashes brush against it like the wing of a trapped butterfly as he wakes, his fatigue a weight on his tongue. He wonders where he is for a worrying moment, hand stretched out to feel the couch cushions beneath him.
The sounds of you reach him from down the hall. The crinkling of your coat set up on a hook near the door, the squeak of your shoes on hardwood, and the familiar lilt of your voice as you sigh, speaking to yourself in quiet tones, "Unlucky."
He rubs his eyes and sits up. "What's unlucky?" he asks, his throat burning. He must've been sleeping open-mouthed, which is perfect. Attractive, he thinks scathingly. He's less annoyed and more disgusted when he feels the dried drool in the corner of his mouth.
You don't answer him. Spencer forces his tired eyes to work, sitting up on knees on the couch to try and get a look at you. He can't see into the kitchen from here, to his dismay, but he can hear the contents of your fridge door clinking together.
You turn the corner with a bottle of water in your hands. When you see him waiting for you your smile bumps up a notch, pretty to cataclysmic, world-ending and life-ruining, all manner of awful as you hurry down the hall in your socks to kiss him.
Why you'd want to is anyone's guess. He can imagine how he looks, curls matted at the back and frizzy at the sides. Spencer can't help cringing as your fingers weave into the hair at the nape of his neck, your lips a soft pressure against his for a few more blissful seconds.
You pull back concisely. "You fell asleep?" Your hand comes up, your thumb rubbing gently at his nose bridge. With your other hand, you press the bottle of water to his shoulder. "With your glasses on?"
He nods in defeat. If he didn't look like a mess, if he hadn't face planted into your fancy couch in his rumpled jeans, even if he were at his best, he's still hopeless, because they messed up his contacts again. You're vocally fond of them even if he hates them.
"I remember the first time I saw you without them," you say, your kind thumb moving to rub a fond quarter circle into his cheek. "You were," —you steal a kiss, your nose pressed to his, pulling back and pushing in between words— "chasing the tail of that movie star." Kiss, kiss. He loses his grip on the water in favour of your arm. "You looked," —your kisses turn melty warm and impossibly softer— "so, so shy."
You pull away to card his hair back. Not particularly gentle but never cruel, you rake his curls out of his face swiftly. "How come you never get shy with me?"
"Don't pretend I never did," he says. It's embarrassing but it happened.
"Fine, you did." You tuck his hair behind his ears. "Not as often as everyone thought you would."
"You were kidding. Or, I confidently thought you were kidding. I could write it off as a joke, pity–"
His timidity with you rose and fell and rose again. These days it simmers, waiting for you to surprise him or tease him or do as you're doing now, rounding the couch to push at him until he sits. You ease into his lap, mostly off of him, a knee to his right and a knee between his legs as your arms circle his back. He's quick to hug you rather than have you slip backward out of his arms.
"I never pitied you," you say, kissing him again, no signs of stopping. "Don't say that. It's not true. I saw you were a catch before anyone else did, that's all."
Spencer can't argue with you. He's honestly not interested, distracted by your weight and the heat of your lips as they part against his. To go back and tell the Spencer from a year ago that his bombshell of a coworker, the one who flirts with a sticky charmed smile, who sits on the lip of his desk making eyes at him, and who never takes the easy blows, wasn't joking? It would stunt his brain. It might send him into a cardiac episode.
To tell him that she's in his lap more often than not?
Spencer's lucky to be alive. He laughs as he thinks it, his stomach stirring while you scratch carefully at his scalp.
"What?" you ask, voice a stretched murmur, close enough to husky to wind him. "Tickles?"
"No," he says, "nothing, it's nice."
He's greedy and a total amateur, pulling your face back down to his in hopes of sparking another heavy kiss. You're enticed for a bit, but Spencer knows his laugh is bothering you, so he steals a last rough kiss before dropping his forehead into your cheek.
You pet his neck softly. "What, Spence?"
"It's just unreal, sometimes. It's weird." He can't hide, his glasses jabbing into his eye.
When he lifts his head, you breathe out a laugh and take the glasses from his nose. You fold them, set them carefully on the couch beside you, and meet his gaze fondly. Your lashes kiss in the corners with your smile, pretty lips a balmed pout. He can feel the waxy transfer your kisses have left on his own lips and the skin around them. You're enthusiastic.
"What's weird?" you ask.
"How much you like me."
"Have you ever heard of the honeymoon phase?"
"The romance feeling very intense at the start of a relationship until we're used to one another," he answers.
"Right. Well, I'm used to you. I intend on honeymooning with you until you die. And you're in your prime, sweetheart, so…" You lean in with your head tilted heavily to the side, pausing with your lips only just touching his. "You'll have to get used to it," you whisper, waiting.
Spencer kisses upward slowly. You sigh into his mouth, double when he paws at the small of your back and squeezes you close to his chest, thankful you took off his glasses.
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Mean-Mugging
Summary: You always joke that Zoro is your "big and scary boyfriend," but after you and some of the crew are turned into children, your words become a bit literal.
Zoro x gn!reader, established relationship, silly fluff
A/N: I'm about to be head-down in requests for a bit, so enjoy this silly scene from my drafts. It was meant to be part of a longer story but didn't quite get there.
Zoro is at his wit's end.
For three days now, Robin, Usopp, Brook, and you have been stuck as children thanks to an incident with a cursed spring. As near as anyone could tell, you all were somewhere between 5 and 7 years old, with none of your adult memories.
It goes without saying that convincing four kids to get on a boat with (in your minds) total strangers had been difficult, but Zoro and the others managed.
The Marines charging in and firing at everyone had helped.
After some sleep and food, you all seem to be adjusting. Luffy and Chopper quickly become the favorite playmates, with Nami and Franky landing the roles of adoptive parents. Sanji makes the food and keeps handing out sweets, so he also quickly found himself in your tiny good graces.
Zoro, however, seems to terrify you.
Any time he enters the room, takes a seat on the deck, or sits at the table, his presence sends the four of you scurrying as from him as possible.
He doesn't know what he's done to deserve it. Sure, he’d snapped at Usopp and Brook when they tried to mess with his swords. And he could have been a bit more gentle when grabbing you and Robin to get you safely back on the Sunny.
He knows he isn't the warmest person on the crew either, but still, he isn’t a monster.
He could live with Brook, Usopp and Robin’s fear, but seeing the terror on your tiny face—he has to admit—stings a little.
"Have you seen yourself?" Nami asks when he finally brings it up. "You've literally cleared street corners."
"Doesn't help you always look like you want to punch someone," Franky adds.
"And that your face is stuck in a permanent scowl," says Sanji.
"Don't forget your cool scar and missing eye!" Luffy cheers.
"Thank you for all your unwanted opinions about my appearance," Zoro says tightly.
"Um, Zoro? I have a suggestion," Chopper says shakily.
The swordsman raises an eyebrow.
"What is it?"
"Well,” Chopper begins, “I remember being terrified of humans after I first changed. They were so big and strong and strange looking."
"I got it, I'm scary-looking," Zoro growls.
"W-what I mean is—try making yourself smaller. Sit on the ground. Find something they might like, maybe snacks or a toy. And don't approach them; let them come to you on their own terms."
The doctor clicks his hooves nervously.
"It's what worked for me when Dr. Hiruluk first took me in."
Zoro gives a half smile and pats the young doctor on the head, "Thanks, Chopper."
"At least one of you is actually helpful," he calls back to the others, leaving the galley.
Later, Zoro makes his way to Sunny's lawn. You and the others are playing some kind of game on one end, so he quietly heads to the other side and takes up a spot.
He's brought a book with him. It’s old, with a cracked spine and deep blue cover. The title has mostly worn off, and the pages are yellowed and dog-eared.
Well-loved is how Robin once described it.
"This had better work," he mumbles to himself, opening the book and flipping to a specific page.
He can hear the sounds of the game behind him—Usopp insisting he was allowed to do whatever he did while you, Robin and Brook argue with him.
Finding the page he was looking for, Zoro quietly began to read aloud.
"Long ago, on an island far from any known sea, there was the small village of Aurelia..."
It was your favorite story.
Years ago, when you were still fresh to the crew, you'd found the book at a small shop when resupplying. You'd said it was just like the one your grandmother read to you when you were little.
"...the boy said to the Sea King, 'If I could have just one scale, my village would be saved.'"
Zoro hears a small noise to his right. From the corner of his eye, he can just see the beginnings of tiny feet.
He keeps going.
"The sea king roared a great laugh. 'Who are you to ask a king for a scale? What makes you so worthy of such a grand prize?'"
You’re right behind his shoulder now, craning your neck to get a peek at the book in his lap.
"Is that...your book?" you ask softly.
"Sort of, I'm borrowing it," Zoro replies, keeping his eye on the page.
"That’s my favorite story," you tell him.
He risks a look. You’re staring at the ground, fidgeting nervously.
"Can you read it to me?" you practically whisper.
Zoro fights to contain his enthusiasm and remain neutral. After clearing his throat a time or two, he manages a soft smile and says, "Sure."
He expects you to sit next to him. Instead, you wriggle under his arm and into his lap.
"You can keep going now," you inform him once you’re settled.
Zoro resumes the tale and slowly, the other three drift over to listen. Anytime one of them tries to interrupt, you shush them harshly, like royalty overseeing their subjects. It’s a struggle for Zoro not to laugh.
After that, things are better. Chopper says the effects should wear off in a few more days. Until then, at least you’re running toward him instead of away from him.
Though he’s never going to live down the teasing from the rest of the crew.
Of course, you made him do the voices.
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percy jackson x aphrodite cabin counselor!reader
summary: valentine's day at chb brings you and your best friend closer than ever
wc: 1.4k
Today was your favorite day at Camp Half-Blood, Valentine's Day. Maybe it was cliché considering you were an Aphrodite kid, but there was just something about Valentine's Day that was addicting to you. Maybe it was the weeks leading up to it that you played matchmaker even more than you normally did as counselor of the Aphrodite cabin, or maybe it was the cute and overpriced chocolate that the Stoll brothers smuggled into camp for the annual Valentine's party.
However, one thing was for sure: it was not because you had a valentine or were in love. Well, you were in love but still had no valentine which came as a huge surprise to all of your siblings, but even more so your friends at camp.
Since you were 14 and made cabin counselor, you always had a date to your own Valentine's party. This year was different though, you'd realized your crush on your best friend at the Christmas party and knew then that you couldn't break another person's heart by taking them as your date to the Valentine's party and then dumping them the next day. After you completed the 'rite of passage' as an Aphrodite kid, you decided that you didn't have it in you to break anyone else's heart, so whoever you dated next had to be it for you.
Today you'd woken up nearly on cloud nine. You'd gone about your routine as normal and then got to work assigning tasks for your siblings to set up the party. While everyone at Camp Half-Blood was invited to the party, you still liked to make invites, because really, why have a party if you can't make cute pink invites for everyone?
Usually, parties like this for 'minor' holidays wouldn't be allowed at Camp Half-Blood, but Mr. D and Chiron, mostly Chiron, made an exception because of how much it meant to the Aphrodite cabin. Mr. D only let you host it because you somehow convinced the Olympians to let his wife come down to accompany him to the party.
Now, after assigning your siblings to their task, handing out invites, and making sure the party was ready, you were sitting at your vanity, redoing your makeup and hair, while your best friend, Percy, laid on your bed and juggled your stuffed animals, which you usually would have found weird or annoying, but now you couldn't help but notice just how beautiful he was. His black hair always sat messily atop his head, nearly never fully dry because he couldn't keep himself from jumping into the water whenever he felt like it. Before last year, you would've fixed his hair and chastised him for jumping into the lake because it made his hair all weird, but you just admired it now.
Not wanting to get caught staring, you turned back to your mirror, not noticing the way Percy stared at you with hearts in his eyes in the back.
"You look so cute," he said mindlessly, his brain immediately yelling at his mouth for always saying things he meant to keep to himself.
"What'd you say?" You ask, mad at yourself for not hearing him and hanging onto his every word.
Percy had never felt relief like that in his life.
"Nothing, I just said you look like a fruit," he said, mentally facepalming. "You look like a fruit," what the hell is my problem?
"That doesn't even make sense, but okay," you say, rolling your eyes.
"Sure it does, if your mind is as awesome as mine."
If your eyes could roll to the back of your head and stay there, yours might as well have already because of how many times you roll your eyes around this boy, but never out of real annoyance. How can someone who would typically be so annoying with his stupid jokes be so cute.
"No," you say to yourself. If I keep thinking like this, I'm just going to mess up our friendship.
Little did you know, the boy you were thinking about was thinking about you in the exact same way.
"Hey, when are you going to be done? The party is in like 10 minutes."
"Yes, Percy, I know, it's not like I'm hosting the party or anything," you say, feigning annoyance. "You can go on your own if I'm taking up too much of your 'precious time', y'know," you say, hoping but deep down knowing that he wouldn't go without you.
"Oh come on, you know damn well I would never go to a party without you, especially a party you're hosting, we're best friends," he says, immediately regretting the last words he said as soon as he heard himself say them.
Friends. That's all you are to him.
"Right, what am I thinking?" He hears you 'laugh', and if Percy Jackson knows anything about anything, he knows that is not a real laugh, but he doesn't know what to say to make it better.
"Well, I'm done now, I just need to put on my dress, just stay here," you state, sauntering off into the walk in closet. You choose your cutest red dress to pair with your darling white cowboy boots, but can't manage to tie the straps into bows yourself, so you decide to ask Percy for help.
"Hey, can you come in here? I need your help tying this!"
Percy blushes, but walks in nonetheless, and is immediately astonished at the amount of clothes in just your closet alone.
The sight of your bare shoulder and small manicured hands holding up your dress was enough for him to combust on the spot, but he held himself together.
The sight of the dark red tint on his cheeks brought a cheeky smile to your face, knowing that your plan was set in motion.
His fingers shakily grabbed the ribbons on the dress and tied a bow on each shoulder, but not without him accidentally touching your shoulders with the pads of his fingers.
His touch could've lit you on fire, even though he was a son of Poseidon, not Hephaestus. Even the tiniest touch was absolutely intoxicating.
You turned around and grabbed Percy's hand. If touching your shoulders was just the first step of becoming addicted to you, he was fully ready to do anything for you now.
It's not like you two never touched each other, but it was never quite like this. Not when you both had a sneaky feeling that the other felt the same way that you did.
Even when you got to the party, you stayed near each other. When you went up to the front of the party and went over your yearly Valentine’s spiel, he was at your side. When you went to get some of the definitely not spiked punch, he was at your side.
When the slow dance songs came on, he gently grabbed and moved your hand from his to his shoulder.
The way you looked into each other's eyes could in itself be a public display of affection. The pure love in your eyes for each other shut all of your admirers down without you even having to say anything. Your faces slowly got closer to each other, still staring into each other's eyes.
"Are we about to kiss right now?" he asked, mostly as a joke, but a small part of him still had hope.
What he didn't expect was for you to softly, with your honey-like voice, "I don't know about you, but I definitely hope so."
With your consent, he felt like his lifelong wish was coming true, and he immediately pushed his slightly chapped lips onto yours.
The feeling of finally getting to kiss each other was like the best thing in the world but 500x better. He tasted vaguely like a weird but good combination of saltwater and cookies.
The longer you kissed, the more passionate it got, and this was definitely pda now. His sharp teeth gently bit down on your bottom lip, causing your mouth to open, allowing his tongue in. You'd never felt something so perfect in your life.
When the two of you finally split, it felt like when you were a little kid and your parents took away your toys.
"Not sure about you, sugar, but that was singlehandedly the best kiss I've had in my life," he said with a smile.
a/n: book!percy my beloved also happy valentine's day to everyone reading this! <3
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Bumping Beach Bikini - Rooster
Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw / Wife!Reader
Word Count: 0.8k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only
Warnings: Pregnancy; References to Sex/Suggestive Jokes; Flirting; Use of Second Person POV “You,” No Physical Description of Reader (Minus Pregnancy), No Y/N
Summary: Rooster admires the view of his pregnant wife on the beach.
Master List
Bradley had a mental list of the best outfits that he had ever seen you in. There wasn’t a set ranking, just general levels of appreciation.
There was a step above your normal beauty and allure, which mostly included random casual outfits that for whatever reason just got him going. Like the yellow sundress that you wore when it was exceptionally hot out that was super easy to slide his hands under. Or those jean shorts that he loved to slip his hand into the back pocket and give your ass an appreciative squeeze. Or anything of his that you chose to wear.
And the step above those were your slightly dressier outfits that got him even more excited. The backless black dress that you wore out in Vegas when the two of you went out with the Dagger Squad. Or the blue floor length dress that you wore to Maverick and Penny’s wedding that looked like it was literally sculpted for you and your figure. Though he did rip the zipper on that one.
Then there were the more special outfits. Your wedding dress mostly, since he literally burst out into tears the second that he saw you step out in it. The photo of you that he kept in his cockpit was from your wedding day with your veil spread out around you, giving you a completely angelic appearance. And, well, Rooster was also very fond of the matching white lingerie set that you wore underneath it that night too. He did rip that one too though.
And at the very top of the pyramid of his favorite outfits was, of course, your birthday suit. Nothing would ever top that one.
But seeing you in a maternity bikini with one of his Hawaiian shirts wrapped around your shoulders and your baby bump sticking out from between the folds of his shirt—now that was a sight that he ingrained into his mind for the rest of his life. That one really challenged your birthday suit in his mind.
“What?” you laughed, shooting your husband a look as you applied more sunscreen. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re glowing,” Bradley praised, still taking in your beauty.
“With sweat,” you giggled, rubbing in another layer of sunscreen. “It’s only spring and I swear I’m melting already.” You set down the tube of sunscreen and shot your husband a playful look. “You just had to make sure that I was heavily pregnant during the hottest months of the year in Southern California, didn’t you, Bradshaw?”
“Maybe you should have done the math before you begged me to get you pregnant,” Bradley replied, a bit smugly.
“I don’t beg,” you scoffed, shooting him a look. “And besides you offered about fifty times before I let you. If anyone was begging, it was you, Bradley.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Rooster mused, smiling over at you.
There was one rule to surviving with a heavily pregnant wife—it was to let you win. On just about everything. Anything health or safety wise, he would argue back, but Rooster took a rain check on all of the little things. And frankly he got more satisfaction out of seeing you happy than being right.
“Do you have enough water?” Rooster asked, sitting up some more.
You reached over and lifted your giant water bottle into the air. Taking a long sip from it just to prove your point to your husband, you set your water bottle back down on the sand.
“I’m fine. Just need some time to relax,” you replied, leaning back in your seat. “Before it all really sets in.”
Reaching down to pick up your ankle, Rooster started to massage your foot, earning a sigh of relief from your lips. Practically melting into your chair, you turned to your husband with a small, thankful smile as you curled your toes a bit.
“I could get used to this.”
“I’m sure you could,” Rooster chuckled, rubbing the back of your calf.
“There’s only one thing that would make this better.”
“What?”
“Take your shirt off.”
“Mrs. Bradshaw,” Rooster jokingly admonished, causing you to smile wider. “Be careful suggesting that. I knocked up the last woman who asked me to take my shirt off in that tone.”
“I’ll take the risk,” you replied with a smile, rubbing your bump slowly.
“So long as you understand the risk,” Rooster returned with a wink.
“Jesus Christ, the rest of us are trying to eat here,” Phoenix cut in, sounding annoyed.
You and Rooster turned to the other Daggers, Maverick, and Penny, who was hiding an amused smile behind her hand. Maverick turned to Penny with a similar expression, shaking his head. But most of the other Daggers, those who were single anyways, shot both you and Rooster somewhat disgusted looks.
“Sorry,” you called sheepishly, waving to them.
“I’m not,” Rooster replied, reaching up to take his shirt off.
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if Mike fell asleep with you...
Word Count: 750
Horror Characters Masterlist
Warnings: this is mostly pure fluff - Mike and the reader are in an established relationship, the reader's gender is not described in any way (the main pronouns used are you/yours), Mike calls the reader angel, the reader takes on a caregiver role for Abby, mostly just short and fluffy. This is set before the main events of the movie, when Mike is working as a security guard at the mall.
A/N: So, I've seen so many people in the tags going 'just let him sleep!!! that man is so exhausted!!' and saying that he's too tired to fuck in the way that people are writing fanfics about him. And as much as I love super horny fics, I do thought this up, because I agree - the man should be allowed to sleep. This is largely inspired by that scene in Grey's Anatomy where Meredith walked in and Owen was asleep on Cristina's chest while she was reading a book (I think it was when she was reading through Mer's mom's diaries?) - anyway. I love that scene so much because it shows how easily he sleeps around her because he's so comfortable around her. And that's why it deeply inspired this. Let him sleep.
...
Mike was exhausted when he came in the door.
He heaved out a sigh as he closed the door behind him, toeing off his shoes - pure, stiff tiredness radiating through his whole body in the worst way.
You knew that sound anywhere.
“Long day?” You inquired gently from your position on the couch, lightly craning your neck to look at him.
He shuffled further into the house in an almost zombie-like fashion, only giving you a solitary grunt in response.
You felt kind of bad that he had been stuck at work late when you had been lucky enough to have a morning shift and been treated to a relaxing evening with Abby. She was a relatively easy kid to take care of, and generally fun to be around.
And after you had put her to bed, you laid out on the couch, relaxing and reading a novel that your friend had recommended. Generally, you were having a nice evening. And it seemed that Mike was not.
As you kept an eye on Mike, you folded over the page of your book to mark it and put it on the coffee table for later.
“Dinner’s on the counter.” You told him. “I made lasagna. I can heat it up for you if you want.”
You hated that before he started dating you, all he knew was freezer burnt crap - but you were slowly showing him how to cook, and a world of vegetables that didn't come in a can.
Mike took off his jacket and the heavy belt he had to wear for work (his large walkie talkie and his taser were in his locker at work, as mandated, but the thing was still damn uncomfortable) and he hung them both up.
He didn’t respond to your queries about dinner as he walked around the couch. Instead of speaking, seeing you laying there so relaxed - the sight was all too inviting, and he eased himself to lay on top of you in a form of very natural intimacy before he grunted a few words into your neck.
“Did Abby eat?” He asked softly as he laid on top of you.
It was oddly comforting to have the bulk of his weight on top of you, especially as he melted against you, letting out a small moan as the tension melted out of his bones. He adjusted himself to get more comfortable and his face rested against the softness of your chest - you glanced down to see that his eyes were drifting closed.
“She ate two platefuls, and had some peas.” You assured him. “Did her homework, had a bath, and she practiced her spelling words before she went to bed.”
Mike grunted again - a more positive pitch to this one. He couldn't ask for anyone better than you. Sometimes he worried about her - all the time. But when Abby was with you, that worry lessened a lot.
“You’re an angel.” He hummed against your chest. “I don’t-” He let out a gentle yawn. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you.”
“You look hot in a uniform and my job at the bookstore gets boring.” You replied, half-joking about the circumstances of how your relationship with Mike had formed.
You reached out to him and began running your fingers through his hair, soothing him even further into the realm of sleep with the comforting touch.
He let out another tired moan in reply - something that almost stretched into a rolling sound with the gentle pleasure of your hand in his hair. With the way his body was so slack against yours, his breathing even and quiet, you knew this was only leading one place.
“You wanna go get ready for bed?” You asked gently.
“In a minute.” He answered softly, barely parting his lips to get the words out.
You glanced over to the table and reached out, picking your book back up as his breathing deepened and his body went even more slack. You were preparing to get comfortable for the next few hours. You weren’t all that tired yourself, and you still had a few chapters left to go. When you got to the next chapter, he began to snore lightly and you felt drool dripping down your neck - which didn’t bother you all that much. You found it cute, in fact.
You were comforted by the fact that he relaxed enough around you to get such a good sleep. You knew that he needed it.
...
A/N: also, this is my first time posting a fic completely from mobile by copy/pasting something from google docs on my phone. So hopefully the formatting isn't too messed up and hopefully this goes well! And I hope you guys enjoy this short fluffy fic 💖
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“Dad is going to be very angry,” El says with wide eyes taking in the scene before them.
“You think Hop will kill him?” Steve says as he leans against the doorway, eating a Twizzler.
El looks at Steve momentarily, sticking her hand out for some candy. Steve hands her one without hesitation. El rips a piece off before speaking. “Oh yes. He might ask you to help hide the body.”
Steve nods solemnly, “I’ll do what needs to be done. Mikes’s my least favorite child anyway.”
“Hey!” Mike yells, gaining the duo's attention. It brings them back to the scene they walked in on. Mike and Will, with the door closed (no three inches in sight) on top of each other, making out.
Steve doesn't think he’ll ever get that image out of his brain.
“Chill, Wheeler, I'm joking,” Steve says pointedly before turning to El and mouthing no, I'm not.
El giggles, and Steve can't help but feel like he won a prize at the sound.
“I'm sorry, El.” Will blushes with shame, like he is betraying his sister somehow.
El just shrugs, “I do not care. But Dad might. He hates Mike.”
Steve snorts, “That's the understatement of the century. I don't think Hop has ever hated someone’s partner like he has Mike. Honestly, I was surprised he liked Eddie. I mean like is a strong word. But he tolerates him.”
Will pipes up, “I think he does mostly because he knows you'll move out, and he only just got you to agree to stay here.”
Steve shrugs, “I’ll take what I can get. At least he doesn't walk on me having sex.”
“We weren't having sex!” Mike practically screams. Hands up exasperated. “And don't talk about you and Eddie; it's gross.”
Will blushes deeply with head in his hands, “Oh, God.” El pats him on the shoulder in sympathy.
“Also, this wouldn't have happened if you weren't an idiot and just knocked!” Mike stomps. Jesus, this kid is 15 acting 6.
“I was the one who walked in, Mike. I wanted to know if Will wanted to watch a movie.” El says coldly, getting defensive of her brother.
Mike clams up, Steve can't help but feel smug.
“Who’s having sex?!?” A distinct Hopper-like voice echoes through the house.
Will and Mike share a panicked look while Steve and El take more Twizzlers from the bag.
“Oh no. Mike! What are we going to do?”
Mike sputters, “He doesn't have to know it was us! And we weren't having sex!”
Will looks at him like Mike is the biggest moron he's ever met. Steve loves the kid (despite early protest) but has to agree. “Oh gee Mike, I wonder who he will think it was about. Steve? Who is dating a man who isn't here and keep in mind, it's Steve. Who is our brother, and five years older than us? And in a relationship? And let's not forget..is Steve?!”
“This is fair.” Steve agrees. If anyone but Baby Byers had attempted to say that, Steve would have been pissed. But it's Will, so it's coming from a good place.
“Also! Also! The other person here is El! Who is my sister! Not to mention your ex—”
“—well it could have been—”
“Micheal Steven Wheeler, if the next words out of your mouth are it could have been you and El, I will never be kissing you again.” Will uses a deathly tone. Steve isn't convinced he didn't get from El.
“Your middle name is Steven?” Steve fills giddy.
“Shut up Steve!”
Will pinches his brows, “And you idiot, if it were you and El, you would still he toast.”
Steve whistles, “Shit, Will. Next time I need to win an argument against Eddie. I'm coming to you.”
“How long does it take for dad to get upstairs?” El interrupts.
All of them look down the hall. “Huh, maybe we are in the clear,” Mike whispers.
“I said who is having sex?!?” Hopper comes thundering up the stairs.
“I think this is what Max calls a jinx.” El looks at Mike unphased.
Steve can't help but feel a little bad for Will. He looks panicked around the room, probably looking for a hiding place. Steve knows that it isn't that same fear Will once had of Lenny, Hop wouldn't hurt them ever, but he can't help but feel a little protective of him. Steve knows all too well how the fears of biological fathers can sneak up on you, even if you know you're safe. “Don’t worry, Will. I'll make sure Hop takes it easy.”
Will relaxes, “Thanks Steve.”
“What about me?” Mike asks, eyes wide.
El shares a look with Steve. Spending as much time as they have lately has allowed them to talk without speaking most of the time. It freaks everyone but Robin out (she gets it). Seconds go by before they both nod in agreement.
Steve and El both wip their heads towards Mike, and Steve says, “You were grossed out by my relationship and called me stupid. Suffer.”
Mike's outcry is in synch with Hop breaking through screaming, “There better be three inches!”
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