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#I might start taking some while I'm at work though
ccsainzleclerc5516 · 3 days
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This Is Where You Stand With Me (part 2)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: none
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Part 1 here
Y/N's POV
"Hola madre!" I say jokingly as my mother answered the phone.
"Too much influence from Sophie's boyfriend or what?" She chuckles.
"Yeah, something like that." I laugh adjusting myself on the couch. "How are you? What's new?" I ask.
"Nothing much, I'm just going back home from work. What's up with you?"
"I'm enjoying my day off from work." I say biting my lip not sure how's she going to react to my new "job" which I haven't told her about yet. But I'm certain she's not going to be thrilled about it.
"What do you mean y/n? What work?" As soon as she says "Y/N" I know there's no joking anymore.
"Well," I take a deep breath before I continue. "First of all, don't freak out, it's only my temporary job, you know while I'm here in Monaco with Sophie. And second of all, I started working for Ferrari practically. I'm managing their social media."
"Explain it a bit better, please. What does that mean?" She asks confused.
"Basically, I'm spending a lot of time with their drivers. I'm filming them for social media, like when they're getting ready for the race, asking them some questions, filming behind the scenes like what happens before the race, filming them training and stuff like that you know. And I edit those videos and then post them." I try to explain to her as simply as possible. but my mom, like most others, is not on the internet, she is not interested in the world of social media and probably still does not understand why anyone would be interested in any of this.
"So who are you filming then? Sophie's boyfriend and?"
"Carlos and Charles." As I say his name my mind wanders briefly to Charles and the grand prix from last weekend. I wonder how he is, and if he talked to Ava. and what happened between them afterwards. I also wonder if he has already thrown somewhere the bracelet I gave him. As I've already said, you just never know with him.
"Y/n?" My mom's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Sorry my thoughts wandered for a moment. What did you ask?"
"I asked if you are satisfied with that job? Are you treated well? What are those boys like?" Like any mother, she worriedly asks a million questions and I, like any other daughter, of course, will not tell her everything in detail.
I have always been close to my mother, but I never liked to share every detail of my life with her, even though she wanted to know it. But I just wasn't comfortable with her knowing all my private things. I believe that you can be close to your mother, without her being involved in all your decisions, attitudes and thoughts. We talk more or less about everything, but I have set some boundaries for myself about what I want to share with her and I think that's exactly why we have a relatively good and healthy relationship.
"Yeah, I mean it's not something I'll do forever, it's just a temporary type of thing, so while I'm here I might as well earn some money." I say. "And everybody's nice to me, of course, I already told you that Carlos is a wonderful person and boyfriend to Sophie, and Charles..He's not so bad either."
"You don't sound so convincing with the other one." She says referring to Charles.
"Don't worry really, both of them are very nice, it's just that I don't know Charles very well yet and I haven't spent much time with him so I can't say much about him." I say honestly.
While talking to her on the phone, I get up and head to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While walking to the kitchen, I pass by the mirror and almost get scared when I see what I look like. Shaggy hair in a bun, without a hint of makeup, braless in an extra-large t-shirt with a print of Los Pollos Hermanos that also serves as my nightgown and house slippers on my feet. I guess I'm not one of those ex girlfriends that has a glow up after a breakup, but oh well.
"Well, as long as you're happy and safe, I'm fine with it." My mom says. "And besides, I think it's good for you that you left Manchester for a bit. Stay as long as you want."
"Really?" I am a bit taken aback and surprised by her words. "How come you think so?" I ask while waiting for coffee to be poured from the machine into the cup.
"I-I.." Just as she was about to say something the doorbell rings. Sophie went to lunch with Carlos, I doubt they forgot their keys.
"Mom, there's someone at the door, I'll have to call you a little later, okay?"
"Okay, we'll talk later, bye." She says and I hung up the phone.
I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and just as I'm about to go into the hallway to open the door, I accidentally pull the cup with my hand and spill hot coffee on my right thigh.
"Ouchh!" I almost scream in pain while the hot coffee continues to pour down my leg. "Fuck!!" My eyes get watery from the pain and stinging. Cursing my clumsiness I grab a cloth and wipe my thigh which is burning more and more and the doorbell keeps ringing. I go and open the front door when none other than Charles is standing leaning against the door frame.
"Charles, what are you doing here?" I ask with a sniff. I don't open the door all the way, but just peek out with my head. The last thing I needed is him here while I'm crying over my coffee burn and looking like I got mowed by a tornado.
"Y/n, are you alright? Why are you crying?" He asks, his expression immediately turned serious as he tries to enter.
"I just spilled hot coffee on myself. Please don't come in.." I really don't want him to see me like this.
"Let me help you." He says ignoring me and coming in anyway closing the door behind him.
"No, Charles..I-I'll be fine." I say pulling my t-shirt down with one hand and still holding the cloth with the other one.
"Let me see." He bends down and removes my hand with which I'm holding the cloth. "You got burned well." He says.
"Yeah, I can feel it. It hurts pretty bad."
"Come here." He waves his hand for me to follow him into the bathroom. It seems like he has already been in this apartment before. They probably had some gathering at Sophie's, so he knows where everything is.
"Sit there." He says pointing to the tub as he takes a small towel from the shelf under the sink and soaks it in cold water. I briefly feel a sense of relief as he kneels down in front of me and places a wet towel over my burn.
"You know, I really appreciate your help, but I feel terribly uncomfortable-"
"Yeah, I already saw that you don't have a bra on." He cuts me off and my cheeks instantly get as red as the burn on my thigh.
"You don't have to point it out like that.." I can't help but chuckle a little at his nonchalant response.
"You really do have to stop embarrassing yourself in front of me." He laughs.
"Why did you come here in the first place?" I ask shaking my head.
"I'm here to pick up Carlos. We agreed to go to the gym together, and he said he would be at Sophie's." He says taking the towel off my thigh and soaking it again. "So here I am. Where are the two of them anyway?"
"They went out for lunch. I think they should be back any minute now since they've been gone for a while." As he comes back with the cold towel I notice that he's wearing the red bracelet I gave him last weekend. He puts the towel over my thigh again and gently presses it.
"And what are you doing alone in the apartment, except destroying it?" I really like this funny side of Charles. For I moment I wished he could be like this all the time.
"Certainly not waiting for you." I playfully answer back.
"Yeah, sure you aren't." He says confidently and I roll my eyes at him. "I'm going to clean up that coffee you spilled on the floor." You can see the kitchen from the bathroom, so he definitely made sure I knew that he saw the mess I made.
While Charles is cleaning up in the kitchen, I quickly go to my room and put on shorts and a bra under my t shirt. Since he's already seen me at my worst, I decide not to fix my hair but to leave it messy like this. It's already too late now to look presentable anyway.
"Have you put on a bra yet?" He asks shamelessly as I enter the kitchen.
"Has anyone ever told you that you can be very inappropriate?" I honestly ask him.
"Quite rude thing to say to someone who just helped you."
"Thank you. Charles. For your generous help." I say slightly sarcastically through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to check when they're coming back?"
"Why? Can't wait to get rid of me?"
"No." I roll my eyes. "I'm just asking if you're in a hurry."
"I'm not. I'll wait for him. I hope they'll be back soon." He says taking a seat on the high chair at the kitchen island.
"Do you want something to drink while you wait?"
"A glass of water will do."
I reach for a glass from the top kitchen unit and in the process I scratch the injured thigh on the handle of the lower element. I wince in pain and curse under my breath.
"Be careful, where is your towel?" Charles asks me getting up from the chair. Before I can say I left it on the tub, he's already back from the bathroom with it. "Sit there." He almost orders me and I do it obediently while he soaks the towel again in the kitchen sink. He moves my hand from my thigh and puts the wet towel over it.
I don't know why, but I decide not to tell him that I can do it myself. And he doesn't say it either but proceeds to hold his hand a little longer over the cold compress looking down at it and gently pressing on it. I lift up my head to look up at him and for a second we lock our eyes together without saying a word.
"I-I.." In a moment of nervousness I wanted to say something just to break the silence, but luckily I hear the front door open. Charles quickly moves his hand away and goes to the opposite side of the kitchen island clearing his throat.
"Hello..guys..?" Sophie says as Carlos and her enter the kitchen looking very confused at the scene before them.
part 3
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groovyfrog420 · 2 days
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SV Redeemed AU
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INTRODUCTION / DISCLAIMER
First things first, these designs for Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla are FAR into the future. Quite literally end game phase of the story, the “they grow old together and live happily ever after”. There's a long way to get there, and while I will write some of my thoughts about their journey, I'm a shitty writer. There's no single thought-out plot, it's just bits and pieces of my thoughts in one place. 
I don't think I'd be making a tag or naming this AU anything specific (I'll edit this post if I change my mind lol) I'm still calling it an AU because there is a bit of canon divergence, but I don’t have a start-to-finish story. Keep in mind that these are just my own interpretations, if you imagine these cookies acting differently, that's ok! This is just my own made-up alternate version
LONG POST UNDER THE CUT - don't say I didn't warn ya
I’ve tried to divide it into sections, so if you are looking for just smth specific / only care about one of the characters, you can skip right to it!
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Prepare for the ramblings. 
PURE VANILLA'S DESIGN 
more relaxed now - doesn’t need to keep up perfect appearances and the image of a hero, so he can lay back a bit more. (messier, less perfectly styled hair - more like his younger years. comfier clothes.) 
focusing on herbology - with less power now (why explained below) and trying to not overwork himself, he’s taken to different healing methods, as well as taking on gardening as a hobby
slightly more open eyes - (heavily elaborated on bellow) 
different staff - due to being able to use his own eyes more now, as well as staying more on the low, he��d decided to retire the famous staff. Since it’s a flower, it was planted somewhere and allowed to blossom and grow freely - fitting symbolism for a new beginning, I think. The lantern light glowing blue makes it easier on his eyes.
PV STORY BITS 
Eyes
In this AU Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla retire together. I think PV would still like to teach, but would focus more on the medical and practical side of things, like herbs and healing practices. (He’ll leave telling tales about the past  to Shadow Milk, though he might throw in his own comments from time to time…) He mostly offers advice and shares every-day methods for protection of different kinds with those who ask, but may take on an apprentice or few to fully pass down his healing knowledge to. He uses magic sparingly now. 
This way with not focusing on a variety of subjects and many, many students, he’s able to rest more and doesn’t have to split himself between multiple worries. He can focus properly and give his students more individual attention, to make sure his knowledge will be retained for the future. 
(don't jump me pls read the footnote) 
I've decided to take the closed/covered eyes motif PV has in a bit more symbolic way *. I want to interpret it as PV being blind (=ignorant) to the world around him, choosing to see the world and his own actions in an idealized light, and to look away from anything that doesn't fit that idea. Light sensitivity would be very ironic yet fitting - since his own powers are very light-based, by using them to help others he’d be blindinding/hurting himself in the process... 
Over time, he realizes how futile it is. Even if he turns his eyes away from the wrongdoing in the world, from his own mistakes and imperfections, they will still continue to happen. He begins to understand that he has to accept that neither he nor the world is perfect, to stop wallowing over the past and start fixing the present. To keep moving forward and keep working on himself, not hide his imperfections under literal and figurative wraps. 
With the help of Shadow Milk, he begins to open his eyes more and more and accept the real truth, no matter how imperfect it is. 
*I’m not sure how confirmed it was in canon that he’s blind (from what I’ve seen it was mostly implied, but still). I'm not erasing that - for the sake of this AU, I'd like to say that he has partial issues with sight (including the mentioned light sensitivity), but now he learns to accommodate them rather than ignore them and hurt himself more for the sake of others. No, he doesn't magically gain full sight now, but he's more comfortable, healthier, and more honest about the world around him with all of its imperfections. 
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Onto the idea of false truth - Pure Vanilla has a very idealized view of a lot of things and people. He’s trying to see everyone in the best light, but he also holds a high standard for himself - that he must be the ideal, shining and caring hero and a beacon of perfection . Shadow Milk is likely to pick that image apart - probably not in the kindest way, saying that in trying to be perfectly selfless, PV is putting himself on the pedestal above everyone else while still being just a single cookie with limited capabilities. He’d likely call this image egoistical, and while PV would argue that he’s doing it for the good of others (he is helping after all, right?), Shadow Milk wouldn’t be entirely wrong - this way of thinking, that he’s the one who must take care of everyone else, is harmful for both him and the ones he’s trying to protect. 
Burnout
I believe SM and PV complete each other so perfectly because they can help each other grow in areas where the other is lacking/struggling. With PV, I’d like to focus on burnout, false ideas, and how the pressure he’s constantly under has affected him. He was very much just a normal guy before receiving his Soul Jam. Years beyond a normal cookie’s lifespan of hard work and trying to be the perfect leader, to always ensure the happiness of all his people (whether that be as king or otherwise) are bound to take a toll on anyone. Obviously he'd never admit that, always putting everyone else before his own needs, and he’d likely run himself into the grave. That's where I think Shadow Milk would be helpful - he’d make him realize how unsustainable what he’s doing really is. He wasn’t built for handling immense power for all of eternity, he’s just a single cookie and whether he likes it or not, he can’t save everyone or make every single one of his people happy... Being selfish isn’t entirely wrong, sometimes might even be necessary. 
Shadow Milk metaphorically and literally helps him open his eyes - he slowly learns to lay back, to accept the reality and “truth”, whatever it may be, and is no longer blinding and burning himself out by trying to help everyone at once. With a new mindset and outlook of the world, he can allow himself to retire, and leave a calmer, out-of-the-spotlight life. 
Shadow Milk would show him that truth is relative, that “pure truth” doesn’t exist, for anyone could interpret it differently. That PV isn’t (and doesn't have to be) the perfect blameless hero. That his people aren’t as good or pure as he’d like to give them credit for, but neither are they helpless. 
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I don’t know who they’d pass the Soul Jams along too - whether that’d be Gingerbrave and his friends, or a new batch of heroes, that is to be decided. The point is, they have served their purpose, they have (from the perspective of this AU) defeated Dark Enchantress, and deserve to now leave the rest of  their lives in peace.
Retirement
Ok, controversial idea, but I think the ancients will have to one day retire and pass down their SoulJams. Yes, I played Cookie Odyssey, I know how important it is to them, but hear me out. As I said above (which is shown in the game btw, but correct me if I'm wrong), they were just normal cookies before taking on the roles of the Ancient Heros. Cookies with high achievements, yes, but still. They aren’t The Beasts, baked specifically for the purpose of handling the Soul Jams, and even then, The Beasts weren’t perfect. I’m not saying they’re bound to get corrupted like their predecessors did, but I am saying that this role is bound to take a toll on them. Not even just from the perspective of power, even just handling so many responsibilities with running their kingdoms is going to be extremely draining mentally. (Physically likely too, even if they’re said to stay “always young” thanks to the Soul Jams - many stories teach that you can’t mess with nature and that nothing lasts forever...)
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SHADOW MILK'S DESIGN 
“mellowed out” a bit - continues to be eccentric and dramatic, but less manic
still unsettling - most level-headed cookies upon meeting him immediately get a feeling that there's something.. off about him, even if they can't put their finger on it. (I purposefully left some of his corrupted design elements or callbacks to them, like the marking over his eye, for that reason) 
vibrant, colorful, very extra in both behavior and looks, everything he does he does with drama and flourish 
quiets down when out of the eyes of the public, or alone with Pure Vanilla 
peacock elements - fitting for someone with such a vibrant personality. also the eye connection is perfect - if you look closely at the feather he's wearing, you might even notice a familiar symbol in its “eye”
a playful bard - (elaborated heavily bellow) - an identity allows him to enjoy his favorite activities, while also being a slight callback to his academic past 
SM STORY BITS
The bard 
While spending more time with Pure Vanilla, PV encouraged him to pursue his creative interests. Partly to have smth to get SM’s mind off of causing chaos, and partly because they let him indulge and express himself without causing any serious damage. Now he’s joined PV in retirement, though still not fully stepping down from the stage.
Being a bard allows Shadow Milk to indulge in everything he likes most: being the center of attention, dramatics, theatrics, mischief, a tasteful dose of lies and half-truths, but also, in a way, calling back to his past self: for while a lot of his stories are made-up tales, he can also share the history of Earthbread that he’s witnessed. Yes, he may do so through over-dramatic performances or behind caricatural characters, but every tale holds a grain of truth, does it not? Whether his audience chooses to believe him or not is their choice to make.
Referencing the fact that a big part of human history survived through word of mouth, and how storytellers play an important role in preserving it, I think it’s only fitting to make him a bard.
About visual choices
I made his redeemed design less chaotic and asymmetrical, but still vibrant and based mostly on his current color palette, rather than the one from Blueberry Academy. That's because while he may be rediscovering his interests from the past, he’s not the person he was before corruption and never will be again. Instead, he too is learning to rediscover the world in a new light, with a new identity. 
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Visually I’ve tried to keep some elements from his current design, if slightly toned down: a wide collar, puffy sleeves, a flowy cape. Elements of his corruption are also still there: different colored sclera (= his one eye being black), the sharp teeth. He may have settled down and calmed down slightly, but he remains as playful as ever :)) 
He still causes local chaos once in a while or resorts to pranking unsuspecting cookies nearby (the slight charring at the bottom of PV’s robe is a result of one of such pranks getting out of hand), and PV has accepted that he'll never be a calm, put-together cookie he once might have been. However, SM's learned to not be a danger to others for the sake of the one he cares about the most, and that's enough for the both of them. 
And that's all for now! If you've managed to get this far, thank you SO much for your patience, I hope you've enjoyed my thoughts and brainworms <3
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thegoldencontracts · 3 days
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Is it possible to request for Azul with a reader who used to be the queen bee/top dog of their school but then was overthrown and was bullied (essentially like Azul but in reverse)?
Of course!
Notes: Mentions of bullying, minus the title, very soft fem!reader implications due to the title of queen-bee
Azul x Ex-Queen-Bee!Reader HCs
You probably don't like him at first.
Okay, hear me out, he's all about exploitation, deception, manipulation, and blackmail. That's the exact thing that got you bullied. You know how this plays out, and you want none of it.
"You seem stressed, my poor unfortunate soul! I'm certain you could use some assistance. Luckily, I am benevolent enough to provide it. For a fee, of course."
You don't know much about this man, after all, you've just met him, but you can already tell he's bad news.
He'd also dislike you at first. He sees someone who's annoyingly jaded, and because of your experience being in his shoes, you know his tactics all too well, and you're not afraid to use them against him.
Funnily enough, this is actually what makes you start to like him more.
"My dearest," he said, encroaching upon your personal space in that way meant to be both intimidating and attractive that you were all too familiar with. Time to see if he could stand a taste of his own medicine.
"Yes?" You said, leaning right in - you weren't letting him shove you around. You'd had enough of that at your old school.
It worked. He flushed, swatting you away with a huff.
"D-Don't be so improper!" He said, and you would've called him out for being a hypocrite if you weren't too busy laughing. This was too good. For all Azul pestered you over contracts, he could be pretty cute when he ditched the smug attitude.
The main way for you two to get closer is to slowly learn about each other. You learn that Azul's actually quite loyal to his friends - no matter the much both the twins and Azul try to call themselves business partners, and he learns that you don't actually want to hurt anyone right now, you'd just like to be left alone. He learns your past at some point, and you learn his.
It's here that you guys might start developing feelings. In that case-
You both try to suppress them. You're both jaded, after all.
But after a while, someone's going to crack. It can be either one of you, but it's for your own good, because otherwise you'll both just end up pushing the other away
It's probably going to be Azul. Not because he's less jaded (which he definitely isn't), but because of the twins
They're getting bored of him being mopey (aka they care and don't want to see him upset) so Azul either gets small mentions until he can't take it anymore or they just straight up set you two up
If you somehow manage to overcome all of the jadedness from being overthrown and the fear of getting stabbed in the back again to confess first, though, congratulations! You've just earned yourself a super flustered Azul. Ultra-Rare!
While dating, you guys are an interesting match, to say the least. Two jaded souls who are both afraid to admit their attachment to one another. Difference is, Azul acts more smug while you're just gruff
All in all, it's safe to say you and Azul will likely have quite the good relationship, but it'll take you a lot of time first
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factual-fantasy · 21 hours
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10 Asks! Thank you! :}} 🌱
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I assume I'm not, it appears to just be a chest cold 😞
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<XD I've heard of whiteboard yeah. But I've never used it. I can just imagine people popping in just to scribble all over everyone else's work. I'll think I'll stick to solo drawing for now-
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(Post in question)
XDD Sylvester has a tendency to be rather cursed-
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@minnesotamedic186
I don't see why not! :}
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(Post in question)
Indeed it is! I made a post talking about his backstory but I can't access my archive atm so I'll do a quick recap-
I don't actually know anything about madness combat. Some friends of mine were really into it and made a bunch of OCs and I wanted to be cool like them 🥺 so I made my own madness OCs based on what little knowledge I had.
His name is Casey. And he lived out in the middle of nowhere Nevada with two of his best friends in this giant armored truck that they built.
At some point they were caught in a burning building disaster, some bandits stole the truck and Casey's friends died in the fire. He wandered the wasteland alone for a few years.. before eventually stumbling upon the bandits camp.
He stormed into the camp and killed everyone, unfortunately his truck was nowhere to be found. He did however find this little girl that had been captured and tied to a tree.
Him and "Stefany" then traveled together for a few years before meeting a scientist named Eric. He had gotten separated from his group and was stranded. I had this idea that the people from the wasteland hate scientists. But Eric begged for help. They made a deal that if they brought this guy back to his lab, that he would give them this valuable thing from the lab. He agreed.
Eric didn't intend to keep his side of the deal. But after a few weeks of traveling together and bonding.. when they got to the lab he stole the thing and gave it to Casey. Getting himself booted off the lab team in the process.
So now the three of them travel together. Eventually Casey gets hurt really bad and the group has to camp out for a bit. While Stef was out looking for food, she saw Casey's truck in the distance. She went and hijacked it, kicking out the two bandits that were in it.
She drove it back to the camp but the bandits followed. There was a stand off between the bandits and Casey. When suddenly..
"..Casey? Is that you?"
The two bandits were Casey's friends he thought he'd lost. There's this tearful reunion, a lot of story telling and explanations.. and now they travel together as a family :)
Oh yeah and at some point Stef gets a (probably) rabid raccoon named kitty, even though there aren't animals in madness combat..? Apparently?? Idk I had barely any world knowledge when I made these characters <XDD
But now that I'm thinking about them.. I should draw them again some time.. 🤔 anyways, thank you for the interest and for the ask! It means a lot to me :}}
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(video/link in question)
That's how I'd start probably. Then they'd build sandcastles, dig giant holes for no reason and play in the sea! :}
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@couchwow
Sorry, I don't take drawing requests. :/ and considering my state, it's especially something I will not do upon request..
And what are you doing askin me to draw? 🤣 I've seen your work, you're quite the artist yourself! Why not draw it yourself? I know it'd come out great! :D (genuinely)
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@astaherussy
I don't think much surprises the Mario Bros anymore. 😅 If they saw a crew of talking pirate cookies they'd just think "well this might as well be happening."
As for a bully on the ship, the crew would not tolerate any of that behavior towards Red. They'd shut that down real quick. ❌
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@fallingbones
:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}
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@glitchhayden418
Jimmy's doin fine. And I'll draw what ever I WANT when I finally get over this, thank you very much! >:T ☝️☝️thank you tho :}}
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blubushie · 1 day
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i'm kinda curious now... what are some of the worst/most ooc takes on the tf2 characters that you've seen 👀👀
I covered this before kinda with my "what does Blu hate about TF2 fanon."
For Sniper. For the rest of the mercs.
To sum it up:
Fandom constantly calling Sniper a Kiwi despite him only being born in Aotearoa and his entire character arc in the comics being "the people who birthed me aren't my real family, the parents who kept and raised me are". The fandom is so fucking weird about immigrants and adoptees. Also people who headcanon him as Aboriginal: I hate you because none of you can even fucking research shit to get it right. If you're Aboriginal and do that you're cool though. Namarnedjare ngudman <3
Twinkified Sniper. He's a sniper and uses a bow, he's going to have strong arms and stronger shoulders, and the comics depict him as lean.
Saying Sniper would smell. None of the fandom understands how important a lack of scent is during hunting, and Sniper is a hunter. Similarly, people headcanoning him as smoking cannabis for this reason. He does shrooms. If he's indulging in some THC that man is eating edibles so the smell doesn't stick to his clothes and skin and hair when he has to hunt.
Sniper being shy. The fandom doesn't understand how dog-eat-dog underground work is. This man would not survive long enough to become a world-renowned assassin if he was shy; also being shy would go completely against his professionalism mantra. He'd do whatever was necessary to get his kill.
Sniper being bothered by the cold. No one in the fandom understands how cold the outback gets during winter. He'd be absolutely fine. Additionally bushmen have to be highly adaptable to survive.
People making Medic evil despite canon pointing to him caring deeply for his team. At most he's chaotic neutral, and his only moment of "manipulation" is when he tricks the literal Devil, which I'm wagering is more than acceptable considering it's literally the Devil. Medic is not your sadistic manipulative monster archetype.
"Demo is abusive/lazy because he's an alcoholic" while ignoring him holding down 3 jobs while being an alcoholic, while ignoring him caring for his mum while being an alcoholic. Just say you hate addicts and go.
Intersex NB Pyro. I've been over it before. As an intersex man, I hate this fucking headcanon so goddamn much.
Infantilising Pyro despite Pyro literally being the CEO of a construction company and bringing in record profits for that quarter. And also being a mercenary PYRO LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.
People ignoring Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of promoting him as a gay man. I don't mean people saying that Medic was never married to start with and that Demo was talking out his arse, I mean people saying Medic's wife was his beard. The bi erasure is real. People treat bisexuality as a "less pure" variant of gay.
Bigoted Engie.
Communist Heavy (his father was literally murdered by the USSR and his family thrown into a gulag in Siberia because he was a counter-revolutionary).
Evil/arsehole Spy. Also people who take Spy too seriously. This bloke cracks "your mum" jokes and snorts when he laughs. Come on. Spy might take himself seriously but that man is not as serious as he thinks he is.
Bigoted Soldier.
People using the time period as an excuse to be a bigot so they can scream about how bad it is to be a bigot. You're still promoting bigotry. This wouldn't be an issue if racism wasn't a centre/scene in practically every fucking Demo fic. I'm kinda tired of seeing marginalised people be brutalised by a fandom so the fandom can virtue-signal about how bad it is to brutalise marginalised people. Can the characters please have some happiness? Or at least some angst that isn't a constant slew of queerphobia/racism/etc?
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circeyoru · 2 days
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I read chapter 9 and it was amazing 👏 🤩 I wanted to ask something did Kat ever feel bad about about what she did ? Did she ever really care for reader ? And are you going to introduce the ex into the story or nah thank you for such an amazing story take care ~~~
This is for {Unwanted Soul} , check MASTERLIST for the work
Thank you~!
K~ This ask is separated by the two characters that is the bane of Reader's/your existent. In this story, of course~
1) Did Kat ever feel bad about what she did? Did she ever really care for reader?
Her? Feel bad? No. Kat's character is rooted in deep envy and hatred for you. As you may recall, you are from a family with high expectations for you, it's implied that while you weren't from a wealthy millionaire family, you were well-provided and have class to some degree. Kat's family is broken, her parents were divorced and she lives with a mother that was already working to keep the family alive and well. Kat didn't suffer from abuse of any kind, I'll note, her mother was caring to her but she can't understand it cause her mother's presence wasn't there when she needs it. Then she met you. You two can't remember how you bonded or who started it first, but it just happened and you two were inseparable. At first, Kat was content with the friendship. But soon came the envy as the two of you grew and matured. You were more popular compared to her, and you were more liked, like you hold people's interest and attention easily while she was like a wallflower. She saw you as having everything she doesn't and wants. She never spared the time to see how much you were hurting because with her you were being your carefree and happy self. So she grew manipulative and used that close friendship to get more than she should. It started small with you bringing her snacks and drinks, then meals when you were the one who asked for dinner out, later that was items she fancies as a birthday present. Soon it got normal to you and since you let it happen, she continued. When you raved about a novel you want to publish to earn the extra cash to 'get away from your parents' expectations', she saw this as her chance to make a name for herself. You have your high-paying whatever job anyways, you can spare her this. So she just took it and published it in her name without regret. She keeps up with the friendship to get more out of you, there wasn't any genuineness in your time with her after she started using you and manipulating you with gaslight.
2) Am I going to introduce the ex into the story or nah?
As I said in my note and comments (in part 9), the ex was in my plot to add into the story. Why I say I might end this series is because it looks like it's getting a bit too long and I'm not sure where I'm heading with the ending. I think you guys can wait for part 10 to see if you want the last arc (where the ex is introduced and Vox's advances towards you will create drama) to be written. So my answer is, it depends on if you guys want to read that. Though I'll be bouncing between other series or stories before I get back to that arc. All in all, check part 10 when it's out and see if you want it. Depending on your notes for that, I'll decide if there's no solid answer.
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sinsmockingbird · 3 days
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OMG SINS ??? if you are comfortable with it may i know the zoya x sins lore……… 👉👈 only if ur ok with it ofc !!!! i love selfships and i love seeing selfships of my friends !!! it makes me vibrate at a frequency that shatters glass (/pos) frfr 👉👈
I am more than happy to give the lore behind my selfship with Zoya! There is quite a bit, especially when you start mixing in other PTN women, but I can give the main information! Lmk if you want a deeper five btw Sev, because I'm happy to provide.
Me and Zoya's relationship can be summed up in two words; domestic life. Sure, she's the leader of the Legion, but when she's not dealing with the stuff associated with them and is home with me, our life can be seen as your stereotypical American family life.
We have five biological kids (I've always wanted a big family, especially with Zoya). Three girls and two boys, who are all a perfect mix of both of our genes. The older three kids are like Zoya, rambunctious and destructive, while are littest two are like me - more quiet and reserved, at least until you get them to open up. The order from oldest to youngest is our eldest daughter, our twins (a boy and a girl), our son, and then our youngest daughter. Each of them have Zoya wrapped around their finger, but not as much as our youngest who could be seen as the "runt" in a pack of wolves, meaning my girl us extra protective.
Besides our five biological children, we have quite a few more adoptive kids, including Horo, Hecate & Hella, Eve, & Thistle. They might be adopted, but that doesn't mean Zoya and I love them any less. They're our little babies, and I would kill anyone who threatens them just like our other five!!
Some big lore that happened a few months ago is that me and Zoya had to go to couples therapy for a week. The reason why? Rahu.
When Rahu came out (and you guys will understand this when I wrote her for a long time straight on here). All I could think about was that dog to the point I wanted to be with her more than my girl husband!! It was a hard month, to say the least, and we had to send the big scary dog to the Rust for a week while me and Zoya did couple's therapy. Everything worked out, though!! As I'm not as obsessive over Rahu now and me and Zoya came to an agreement about sharing me with her - which is somehow why Rahu is now the family dog.
The kids love their big, scary dog, Rahu! And the twins will periodically bully and pull pranks on the poor girl. But it's okay! She sucks it up and takes it (not because I promised her we'd have a baby together at some point).
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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neverendingford · 6 months
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#tag talk#if I can make it through the next two weeks I'll be alright. but damn if it isn't gonna be rough#court date next week and dr appointment the week after. but then I'll be back on track with changing my name and then getting hrt#big changes. but changes I need. changes I tried to start back in February.#I try to have yearly goals. big overarching themes and shit. 2022 was just getting away from my patents and accepting being trans#and then it ended up being a year for processing old trauma. which uhh. really culminated in the February attempt to end all that shit#but February was the start of the new year for me. the start of getting all that personal work externalized. being out and unapologetic#the move this summer has thrown things a little out of shape but I'm working to get it back on the rails#if I can get things sorted by the end of this year then next year is the start of forever for me.#it really will be a “first day of the rest of our lives” vibe. new name. finally getting the meds I need. idk exactly how hrt will go though#I need to do independent research to see if I need to go through health provider or if I can find a clinic independently#been meaning to do that for a hot while but I have been so overwhelmed with other stuff I haven't had the energy.#but like. looking back it hasn't been bad. I was afraid I would lose this year to the move. but that's adhd time blindness speaking#even if it takes four months to move and mentally recover that leaves eight still. that's still a lot of time. I have time to work with#every day I'm still alive is a day I have available to get done the things I want to in order to live happily.#sure I'm damaged as fuck. but that doesn't mean I can't get some good work done. I can make friends and have fun and help people#idk. I'm still in a melancholy state from the heavy dissociation I experienced on edibles. I think I might not do that again#losing control of my head isn't great because my default is suicidal and depressed which isn't super pogchamp of me#I'm gonna do it again once more just to have a second experience because a single data point isn't good data so I want two.#but I don't expect to want to do it anymore. I wonder if the high amounts of stress and anticipation I'm experiencing right now affect it#of course it would. prior mental state of going to affect the trip. that's kinda obvious I guess. maybe I try it again in two weeks#anyway. life keeps going and there is no expectation to fall behind on. falling behind means there's an acceptable pace. which is false#well. that's not true. capitalism and all that. there's a minimum pace for somebody. but that's where community comes in to help I guess#I'm rambling now. bye I'm gonna go take a shower and be really sad about having a dick and balls#it's tragic cause they're really nice dick and balls too. Just not for me. I wanna be a cool guy without even a single ball to his name#is that too much to ask? I just wanna be a man who's a woman who's a man but in a different way than the first time he was.#also. I'm tired of straight guys on dating apps hitting me up. like bro I know you're just gonna want to view me as a woman. no deal#bro is gonna have to be at least a little gay. cause I am not gonna swing like that. better be at least a little bi#some dude's bio was like “let me love the woman inside of you” and like. no thanks please go obsess over femininity somewhere else#straight guys who include nonbinary in their profile because they really just see it as woman 2: gender boogaloo ☠️
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cocklessboy · 9 months
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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.
I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.
And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!
We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.
There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.
Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.
Except...
I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.
I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.
The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.
Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".
There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.
And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.
His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.
I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.
That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.
I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.
Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.
Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.
If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.
It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.
I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.
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eddiethefreakkmunson · 4 months
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I’ve been stewing ona request that isn’t a duplicate of your work or one I’ve asked for before and all I could come up with is:
Eddie accidentally ingests viagra or some sort of stimulant “sex chocolate” or something of that nature. And what kind of friend would we be if we didn’t help him out? Gotta take one for the team, right? 😏
I LOVE this idea, thank you so much for requesting it 💕
Prescription Predicament
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Summary: Eddie accidentally takes viagra, what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t help him out?
Word Count: 7.1K
Content Warnings: 18+ Only, Best friends to lovers, Smut, PIV (protected), Oral Sex (Both m and f receiving), Fingering - (Let me know if I missed anything my brain is fried rn)
Author's Note: I know asked for smutty requests over two months ago but my personal life has been exhausting lately and it's fucking with my creativity on every level, I appreciate your patience. Thank you to everyone that showed interest in this, it was the perfect little motivation boost I needed to get this finished and I hope it was worth the wait 🥰
Taglist is at the bottom but there is a few people that asked to be tagged in this that for some reason it just would not let me - So if you see this and weren't tagged I'm sorry I tried! ☹️
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“Eddie!” Your voice boomed as your fist repeatedly hammered on the door of your best friend’s trailer. “Eddie, come on, what the hell are you doing in there?”
After a few minutes of silence that had you genuinely concerned for his welfare, you finally heard the sound of clumsy footsteps followed by the thump of someone walking into a piece of furniture.
“Jeeesus Christ,” Eddie complained, he squinted harshly at the sudden blast of sunlight hitting his weary face as he swung open the door. “Do you have to be so loud?”
You snorted as you took in the sight of him in his blue chequered boxers and tattered band tee, the W.A.S.P logo faded and cracked from years of being washed. His sleepy eyes and wild nest of curls made him look like a bear that was fresh out of hibernation.
“What was taking you so long? I thought you’d died or something.”
“Yeah well I might croak soon, feels like my head is packed with dynamite and it’s about to blow,” you watched him pinch the bridge of his nose, his features screwing up in pain while he stepped aside to let you in. “What time is it anyway?”
“It’s almost eight, you know, like we planned?” You brushed past him and into the centre of his cosy living room, waving the VHS he asked you to pick up from Family Video. Setting the tape down on the coffee table, your features softened in concern as you turned your full attention to him. “Are you okay?”
Eddie blew out a frustrated breath, his mop of tangled curls bounced as he shook his head. He quickly stopped, wincing when the sudden movements caused a sharp flash of pain to shoot across his brow. 
“Do I look okay?” he grumbled. “Can’t see shit either, it’s like I stared into the sun for a really long time and now the spots are stuck there forever.”
“Sounds like a migraine,” you grimaced with sympathy. You’d suffered from plenty of them and wouldn’t wish them on anyone. “Have you thrown up yet?”
“No, does that happen?”
“Sometimes, have you taken anything for it?”
“No,” he gritted his teeth knowing you were about to chastise him for not doing anything to help himself.
You rolled your eyes, typical Eddie but you decided to not give him any grief, at least not until he felt better and he had no choice but to tell you that you were right, as usual. 
“Well… That would be a good start,” you ushered him in the direction of his bedroom. “I’ll leave you in peace though, you should try and sleep it off.” 
“Wait,” he spun on his heel, catching your arm softly in his grip as you turned to leave the trailer. “Will you sit here with me? You can still put the movie on, I’ll just close my eyes for a little while.”
“Eddie, the sound won’t help,” you almost whispered. “You need to go lie in a dark, silent roo-”
“Please?” He cut you off, his hand sliding down your arm until he could intertwine your fingers with a gentle squeeze. 
Eddie loved his Saturday nights alone with you. He may have hung out with you every day at school, but you were always surrounded by friends. He found that there was something extra special about the time spent with just you and him. It was the reason he didn’t cancel his plans with you when he started feeling like shit, he just hoped he’d be feeling better by the time you arrived which turned out to be wishful thinking.
“Okay,” There was no use arguing with him, you couldn’t deny him anything while he was looking at you with such an adorable pout. “But go and take some Tylenol, now.” 
“Yes ma'am,” even in his bleak state Eddie still gave you a dorky salute before turning round and trudging down the hall to his bedroom. 
Eddie felt around his nightstand three-quarters of the way blind, his lids drooped low to avoid the sunlight pouring in through his bedroom window. Various belongings thump as they hit the carpeted floor, knocked off of the littered surface by his haphazard search efforts. He couldn’t be bothered to check if he’d broken anything of importance, too determined to locate the bottle of Tylenol he knew was hidden somewhere.
“Where the fuck is it?” he groaned. His frustrated expression morphed into a smirk when his fingertips grazed the plastic bottle. “Gotcha.” 
Eddie’s smirk faded just as quickly as it had formed when he found it empty. He shook the bottle for good measure as though he could magically refill it with the pain relief he so desperately needed.
“Son of a bitch!” Eddie chucked the bottle over his shoulder and began feeling his way to the bathroom. 
He shuffled cautiously until he found himself at the medicine cabinet. Wayne had to have something right? The old man was constantly complaining about his bad back and shoddy knee. 
Eddie retracted his lids a sliver to browse the various medications, the amassing fuzz obscured his vision making it impossible to read the tiny print on the label. He reached for what looked like a generical pill box on the highest shelf, figuring that they were prescription strength pain meds and therefore exactly what he was looking for. How convenient for Wayne to have a brand new box. He thumbed two pills from their foil-sealed packaging and tossed them into his mouth. They sat bitterly on his tongue as he leaned down and angled his head beneath the running faucet to help wash them down. Now that he’d finally fulfilled your wishes, Eddie didn’t bother putting the box away. When he returned to the living room you’d already gotten comfy in your usual spot, the opening credits of the movie were rolling on the screen at the lowest possible volume. He smiled fondly when you patted the cushion on your lap that was awaiting him. Making his way over to you he plopped down and wiggled around until he was comfortable; despite his feet hanging awkwardly over the arm of the couch.
Eddie sighed and his lashes fluttered closed. Instead of dwelling on the throbbing in his forehead, he focused on the sensation of you lightly tracing the contours of his face. Your fingertips were chilled from your walk across town, the coolness making it all the more soothing for him. Your heart melted as his tightly sewn brow unwound and his features were no longer warped by the pressure threatening to split his skull.
Your touch effectively fought off the previously unyielding tension, rendering him still and at ease. Your fingers found their way into his hair which came without a second thought. Sometimes you’d scratch his scalp to help him fall asleep and Eddie often finds himself craving your phenomenal head massages. Your attention was focused on the TV screen playing the mediocre slasher film while he practically purred in your lap. Your fingernails continued to graze his scalp until the pain reliever kicked in and his moans of discomfort had subsided. Eddie was so relaxed that he almost succumbed to the pull of sleep that was weighing heavily, that was until he felt an all too familiar awakening below the belt. It came as no surprise to him, you were touching him. He’d hidden innumerable semis due to your presence but something about this one felt different.
Eddie cracked one eye open to peek down at his crotch and he immediately kicked himself for not putting pants on once you had arrived. He was not sporting his usual semi, hell, he was pitching a full tent like it was summer camp. Praying that you were too invested in the crappy movie to notice, Eddie reached for the spare cushion wedged beside his hip and inconspicuously clutched it to his front. He tried his best to make it appear that he just wanted something to hug.
Of course you had noticed his very prominent erection, it was impossible not to. A thrill shot to your core with the thought of your touch being the cause of his arousal. You didn’t know how to react despite how giddy you felt about his body being so responsive to your touch. 
Throughout your friendship people had always assumed you were an item. On the contrary, you had shared one drunken kiss at most and both of you were too chicken shit to bring it up again after that night. But truthfully, you wished for him to want you in the way that he’d kiss you when he was sober. The fact that he’d popped a boner while you were spoiling him suggested that the feelings were mutual. You weren’t sure what to do with yourself, so you kept your gaze glued across the room and acted oblivious.
Eddie couldn’t conjure up a reasonable explanation as to why he was so bricked up. He’d never been so hard in his life and it had grown to be uncomfortable, his cock begging for any ounce of friction he could slyly get away with. There’s no way he could excuse himself to the bathroom without you spotting the obvious when he stood up. He certainly couldn’t take the cushion to the bathroom with him to use as a shield. The instinctual need became unbearable, he was going to lose his mind if he tried to sit still for a second longer.
With the utmost subtlety, Eddie used his grip on the cushion to push down while simultaneously wiggling his hips. His jaw clenched as he choked back the gasp that sat on the tip of his tongue. The faintly strangled sound drew your attention away from the screen. Eddie’s eyes were screwed shut, but this time it was out of frustration rather than pain. His nostrils flared and his breathing deepened. On the cusp of asking what was the matter, the words dried in your throat as your gaze landed on his lower half. Your heart pounded in your chest at the realisation of why he made that sound, and why he had started moving after being still for so long.
You wondered if the thermostat had gone haywire because the air felt stifling. The short thrusts of his hips against the orange cushion made you wish you had one of your own to use. You weren’t sure what his endgame was, but the room felt too suffocating to wait and find out. You needed some air and fast, or at least a moment away from him to try and compose yourself.
“I uh- I gotta use the bathroom,” you stuttered and stood hastily. His head bounced against the couch, having lost the support of your lap and you disappeared before he had the chance to even process what you said.
Shit. Eddie seized the desperate rutting of his hips as he was dragged back to Earth by your sudden departure. He got carried away, what the fuck was wrong with him tonight? He lifted the cushion and glared down at his now painfully hard cock straining against his boxer shorts. A dark blue patch of precum blotted the spot he’d been rubbing. He had no reason to be in this state, only an hour ago he felt like he was dying so what had turned him into such a pathetic pervert in such a short time? He was starting to panic as he wondered what you were thinking. How obvious had his inability to control himself been to you?
You slammed the bathroom door closed behind you. Standing in front of the mirror, you stared at your reflection and took several deep breaths. Get a hold of yourself, you thought as your fingers curled around the cool porcelain edges of the sink. It wasn’t until after you splashed your face with cold water that you noticed the box of pills lying beside you on the counter. Once they had caught your attention, you were stunned to read what they really were.
 You cracked the door open slightly and called out to him. “Eds?”
For a moment, you worried he’d fled due to the beat of silence that passed before he answered.
“Yeah?”
“Come here a sec.”
“Do I have to?” He sighed, not wanting to get up while he still hadn’t managed to get rid of his big problem.
“Yes,” You rolled your eyes and waited for him to stroll down the hall.
Eddie strategically hid his body behind the door frame and popped his head into view. There was an expectant look on his face, waiting for the reason he was beckoned. His eyes followed your finger as you pointed to the pills on the counter.
“Did you take those?”
“Yeah?” Eddie replied feeling unsure of himself, the fact that you were questioning it made him nervous that he had inadvertently poisoned himself.
“Do you know what they are?”
“Uhh, pain meds?” 
“Noooo,” your lips curled into a smirk. “You took Viagra.”
“Viagra?” he roared. Temporarily unphased by his predicament, he stepped into the bathroom and picked up the box, the fuzz no longer afflicting his vision. “What the fuck?”
“Why did you think they were pain meds?” you fought the urge to giggle.
“You told me to go take something knowing full well I couldn’t see!”
“You’re blaming me for this?”
“Fuck yeah, I’m blaming you!” His voice got higher the louder he became. “Why do we even have this?” 
Eddie froze when it dawned on him that the only reason they would be in the cabinet is because they belong to Wayne. 
“Jesus Christ,” he groaned, dropping the box at his feet. He buried his face in his palms and threw his head back. “Ughhhh! Why me?” 
You couldn’t hold back your laughter any longer, the first chuckle escaped your lips while you took in the pitiful sight of him.
“It’s not funny!” he yelled, feeling agitated and more than a little humiliated. “It hurts!”
“It’s a little funny,” You teased.
“Shut up! Seriously, what am I gonna do?” 
“Nothing,” you told him calmly, swiping up the box from the floor to read the instructions on the back. “It says here it should go away on its own in about three hours.”
“Three hours?!” He whined.
“Three to four hours.”
“Why the fuck does it last that long?”
“Oh, quit being dramatic. You’ve already made it through the first one,” you said, placing the pills back in the medicine cabinet. “Come and watch the rest of the movie with me, it might help take your mind off it.”
Eddie dragged his feet as you took his hand and led his pouting face back to the living room. He returned to his spot beside you. but instead of laying in your lap, he chose to sit upright. With the cushion pulled back to its previous position over his groin, he tried his best to focus on the mostly forgotten movie. His expression reminded you of an overgrown child that was seconds away from a tantrum because they didn’t get their way. You snickered at the absurdity of the situation you had found yourselves in and folded your legs beneath you to make yourself comfortable at the opposite end of the couch.
Over the course of the next half hour you watched Eddie fidget in your peripheral vision as he huffed and sighed in aggravation. You hated to admit it, but his squirming was turning you on more than it ought to. It was the way he was incapable of regulating his bated breathing, how his toes curled into the rough carpet and the subtle shift of his hips when he involuntarily thrusted into the cushion laid across his lap. It overwhelmed you to the point that you were squeezing your thighs together to suppress the throbbing that was blooming between them. When a whimper escaped from his lips, it was game over for you.
Would it be completely inappropriate to offer him a hand? You were doubtful that he would turn down such an offer in his current state. But what would that mean for your relationship? Best friend's don't give each other rub and tugs. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you didn't want to just do him a favour. You didn't want to have to hold back, and you wanted to do it more than just this once. Deciding that it was worth the risk, you uncurled from your position and slid down onto the carpet. While Eddie's eyes remained closed and his head rested against the back of the couch, you crawled the short distance to sit on your knees between his widely spread legs. He wasn't phased by the movement until you pried the cushion from his grip and tossed it aside. Eddie's head snapped forward and he looked down at you like a deer in headlights.
“Huuuuuh- what…. what is happening?” He stuttered, softly taking hold of your wrists when your hands found purchase on his bare thighs.
“Don’t you think it’s about time we did something about this?” You asked, looking pointedly at his cock.
“Like what?” He croaked.
His grip remained firm but he did nothing to stop you when your fingers creeped higher up his legs. Your fingertips now danced along the waistband of his boxers. 
“I think you know what.”
“Errrm, yeah but it’s kinda hard to believe this is happening,” he chuckled breathily. “Oh God, my head really exploded didn’t it? I died and this is heaven.”
“Well, I am on my knees aren’t I? And I wanna worship you, is that your idea of heaven?” 
“Hoooly fucking shit yes,” he whimpered. “But-”
“You know it won’t go away with just your fist or that cushion. I can help, if you want.”
Eddie nodded eagerly at almost comical speed. Unwilling to waste another second you tugged down his boxers, he lifted his hips just enough for you to drag them below his ass and free his swollen cock. He exhaled in relief as the cool air tickled his searing skin. You took a moment to truly admire him, your mouth watering as your gaze fixated on the girth of him, his weeping tip flushed dark pink with a prominent vein running along the underside of his shaft. He was fucking beautiful and your pussy clenched around nothing at the mere thought of him stuffed inside of you. Wrapping your fist securely around the stiff and hot base, you ran your tongue up to his tip. You placed a single peck to the head before you took him fully into your mouth. 
Wet warmth engulfed his cock while your fist pumped what you couldn’t handle. He whined above you, his fingers threaded into his hair and tugged harshly to keep himself from grabbing the back of your head. The last thing he wanted was to be forceful, but nevertheless, his hips had a mind of their own. You breathed deeply through your nose, attempting to suppress your gag reflex when he fucked your mouth harder. You didn’t mind, you found it impossibly enthralling that he was so worked up he could hardly control his movements. Your pussy grew wetter as his moans got louder, and you couldn’t help but snake the hand that wasn’t jerking him off down the front of your jeans and beneath your underwear. Your fingers rubbed tight, quick circles to your swollen clit. 
“Oh my god… Baby that’s… Ohhhh,” Eddie mumbled between broken moans. “No idea how many times I thought about this… Your lips - Mmmmm, thank you… Thank you…”
He barely lasted a few minutes before he was reaching out to cup your cheek, urgently attempting to guide you away as a warning he was about to climax. He expected you to pull away but you only moaned around him in response, the vibrations travelled along his shaft tipping him over the edge. His balls drew up tighter than they ever had before. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he shot rope after rope of cum down the back of your throat.
Even after coming down from what was without a doubt the most drawn out and intense orgasm of his life, his cock is still rock hard. Throbbing and twitching in your palm, he’s ready to go again despite the fact that he shouldn’t be.
“What the actual fuck?” He growled breathlessly, the bewilderment evident in his voice.
You wanted to offer to keep going, but with Eddie being particularly well endowed, your jaw was already aching. With your own arousal yet to be relieved, you decided to boldly take what may have the only chance you would get.
“Do you have condoms?”
His eyes met yours with scepticism, as though he really didn’t think he could get any luckier than he already had. You squeezed his knee to remind him he had yet to answer you and Eddie nodded apprehensively, maybe you really did want him as badly as he wanted you. 
“What do you say we move this into the bedroom then, hmm?”
“Fuck… Are you sure?” 
In place of a verbal response, you rose to your feet with a shy smile. You swallowed down any self-consciousness that was threatening to get in the way. With him still sitting on the couch and his cock exposed, you eyed him while you stripped down to your underwear. Eddie’s restless fingers clawed at the skin of his thighs, his head started to feel woozy as your body was revealed to him one garment at a time. Once your bra was unhooked and your underwear had dropped to the floor Eddie held his breath involuntarily. His big brown eyes travelled along your naked figure, feeling indecisive on which part of you he wanted to explore first. 
He was mute with a strong gaze and it caused your confidence to waiver. Before you could let it crumble completely you held out your hand to him, your fingers wiggling in encouragement to take it. As he let the breath he had held captive free, Eddie tucked himself back into his boxers. His legs quaked as he stood and closed the short distance between you, his fingers reaching out to tangle with yours.
“You know you don’t have to do this,” he said under his breath. “You’ve done more than enough for me already.”
Eddie would much rather be miserable on his own than to cause you a shred of discomfort in trying to help him. 
“Trust me,” you assured him, guiding his hand down between your legs so he could feel how sincerely soaked you were for him. “I really fucking want to.”
A squeak barely escaped you when his lips unexpectedly captured yours. Instinctively, your hands caressed the side of his face to keep him from pulling away. Eddie's hand explored your slick covered folds and in a matter of seconds, his fingers were coated with your arousal. You moaned into his mouth as he circled your clit, rubbing firmly against the nerve. Your hands travelled down his neck and you were unhappy to find him still mostly clothed. You frustratedly broke the kiss in order to yank his shirt up over his head. Eddie followed your lead and pushed his boxers back over his hips until they fell to pool around his ankles. Stepping out of them one foot at a time Eddie began to walk you backward down the hall toward his bedroom. All the while, his desperate hands sought to feel every inch of your body and his lips glided down the column of your throat. You gripped his slim waist to avoid tripping over the various obstacles he'd thrown to the floor while you made your way to his bed.
Once the backs of your knees met the edge of his mattress, Eddie urged you to lay back. You did as he asked and inched back while he watched. Eddie crawled between your legs and gently groped at your naked chest, his lips not far behind to suck harshly on the crook where your neck meets your shoulder. To give him more access, you tilted your head to the side and nuzzled your face into the pillow. His scent fills your nose and it sets your senses aflame, squirming as he continued to suckle on your pulse point. Before you had the chance to reach down a grasp hold of his cock, he travelled south. His mouth left a hot, wet trail as he made his way down to your core. Eddie’s strong hands forced your thighs apart to settle himself between them. His eyes locked shamelessly on your heat as he looked forward to spoiling you with the same treatment you gave him. You were conflicted in that moment because while you were on the verge of losing your mind if you didn’t feel him inside you soon, you also appreciated his eagerness to get a taste of you. 
Eddie covers your inner thighs with the softest kisses, using one hand to hold you in place by your hip. You felt the knuckles of his opposite hand glide through your wetness. Your body reacted immediately, your hips rocking in time with his thumb swiping firmly against your clit. Your body melted beneath him while his tongue smoothed over the sensitive nub. 
Eddie's experimental licks grew more confident as he grew acquainted and subsequently fell in love with the way you taste.
Your legs dropped open further when he moaned into you, the vibrations reverberating through your core. You lifted your head to watch him savour you. There was a little pinch between his brows and his eyes were squeezed shut, which only fanned the flames of your burning desire for him. You lifted your hips to encourage him to venture further. Understanding what you needed, he slid two fingers inside you with very little resistance and hooked them upwards. It only took a handful of explorative strokes before he was brushing the spot that he knew would bring you to euphoric bliss. 
“Yes… oh fuck, right there,” your hands threaded into his hair while his fingers pumped in and out of you. “Oh my god… Eddie…”
“Mmmm, you taste so fucking good,” he pulled away for only a moment to respond. 
Eddie’s brown eyes, darkened by lust, stared up at you while his plump lips glistened with your arousal. Without hesitation, his tongue returned to your clit and he sucked greedily, his plunging fingers following suit. You ground your hips against his mouth, and with little warning, you came hard.
“Eddie!” You cried, your pussy clamping down around his fingers as your thighs snapped closed to hold him in place. “Oh my fucking god! Ohhhh-”
He happily worked you through your orgasm until your body was limp beneath him. Eddie retracted his fingers and dragged them up through your folds. You twitched as he spread your release over your sensitive clit. He grinned softly when he looked up at you again, the pride evident on his features as he crawled his way up your body.
“Holy shit,” Eddie laughed breathlessly. He pressed a wet kiss to your lips for you to taste how sweet you were. “That was so fucking hot. I’ve never made someone cum that hard before.”
You grinned back. Still at a loss for words, you reached between your bodies to give him a few steady strokes. He pulsed in your palm and it sent a surge through your lower belly. You hastily flipped him over, his back meeting the mattress with a bounce. Eddie was spread before you, and you committed the sight to your memory to cherish until your dying days. He tucked his hands behind his head, the fucked out expression still melted onto his features. Eddie had never looked so beautiful. Your eyes wandered his slender torso and followed the delicious happy trail that led to the thatch of dark curls framing his gorgeous dick.
Spying the small blue box of condoms on the dresser, you grabbed them while Eddie shuffled himself up the mattress to get more comfortable in a sitting position. You straddled his hips and he leaned forward to kiss you hungrily. He took the little foil wrapper from your hand, tore it open, and rolled the condom down his aching cock. He gave himself a few strokes for good measure and you watched him adoringly.
“Ready for more sweetheart?” he asked with an air of smugness. He could see how you were practically drooling. The way your eyes fixated on the motion of his hand gave him one hell of an ego boost.
You nodded embarrassingly quickly and he chuckled. Eddie’s free hand gripped your hip to pull you closer as he guided his tip to your entrance. Your fingertips dug into his shoulders as you steadied yourself, and ever so slowly sank down on his generous length. You shuddered as he stretched you inch by glorious inch. You couldn’t recall ever feeling so full and it was the best goddamn thing you’d ever felt. He gave you a moment to adjust before both of his hands found purchase on your ass. Eddie started to fuck himself up into your pleading pussy, causing the bedframe to shake from the force of his thrusts. You braced yourself with one arm on the wall behind his head to keep yourself upright.
Eddie had one hell of a view, and it had him entranced. Your jaw was slack as you gasped and panted from how deep he was, and your tits bounced in his face while he relentlessly pounded into you. His hooded eyes never stopped roaming your body. He wrapped his arm around your waist to hold you flush to his chest. Eddie buried his face into the crook of your neck to resume his attack on the tender flesh of your throat.
Mingling moans and whimpers were paired with the wet sounds of him driving into your cunt filled the small space of his bedroom. You tugged his hair to pull his face from your neck, needing to feel his lips on yours as you ground desperately in his lap. He met you for a sloppy kiss, both of you too far gone to care about the clumsiness.
“Close, close- baby I’m so close,” you whined against his lips. The white hot pressure in your core grew closer to reaching its boiling point with every brush of his wiry curls against your clit.
“Yeah, you gonna cum for me?” he growled. His sweaty forehead pressed to your own while his borderline black irises looked deep into your soul. “Fuck, I wanna feel you cumming all over my cock.”
“Uh huh, Eddie I’m gonna cum,” you nodded dumbly. Your heart was pounding in your ears so loudly that you could hardly focus on a word he was saying. 
His hand left your waist to snake down. His thumb rubbed circles to your clit, which in his urgency, may have been a little rough. But it didn’t matter, it was more than enough to get you there. 
“Oh fuck!” You cried as you came. Your hips continued to roll, a clumsy attempt at keeping up with his thrusts. 
You rode out the waves of ecstasy until you collapsed against his chest. Both of his arms wrapped protectively around you and his nose nuzzled against your temple. Eddie whispered how good you were for him. It took you a few minutes for your cloudy head to clear to notice that his hips were still rocking into you. You had forgotten that the whole point of this was to get Eddie off and not yourself. Despite how sensitive you were feeling, you pushed through the mild discomfort. He surely couldn’t be too far behind you. 
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and with each minute that passed, Eddie grew more frustrated. The pills were affecting his ability to cum in a timely manner. Even though he had a blowjob beforehand, it had never taken him this long to blow his load before. Your movements grew sluggish and when a tiny whimper passed your lips, he knew it was becoming too much. Eddie's heart squeezed behind his ribs at the thought that he was causing you pain. The guilt pulled him further out of the moment, and he was prepared to surrender. 
“I’m sorry,” he practically sobbed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I swear any other time I would’ve busted ages ago.”
“It’s okay,” you reassured him. You ignored the ache in your thighs that was begging you to change positions, you were determined to get him there. 
“No it’s not,” he shook his head. The stray curls plastered themselves to his damp skin. “We don’t have to keep going, I don’t wanna hurt you-”
“Hey, I’m fine,” you stopped him. He had gripped the meat of your hips to lift you off of him but you halted him with the placement of your hands on top of his. “Really.”
Eddie sighed deeply and averted his gaze, clearly unconvinced. You curled your fingers gently around his and lifted his hands to your chest, placing one on each of your breasts. You made him squeeze them as a form of encouragement. You rested your own hands on either side of his head and forced him to look at you. 
“Stop worrying about how long it’s taking and focus on what you’re feeling,” your thumbs tenderly brushed the apples of his cheekbones. “How am I making you feel?”
You emphasised your words with a roll of your hips, your dedication to helping him get there gave you a boost of energy to persevere.
“So fucking good,” Eddie shivered. His eyes fluttered closed as he zeroed in on the way your muscles quivered around his cock and how soft your skin felt cupped in his palms.
“What is it that feels good?”
He could barely think, barely speak. It felt like his brain was melting to mush with every second he stayed inside you.
“Eddie,” you pressed, gently demanding his answer.
“Feels… fuck, your pussy,” he babbled, unable to form a coherent sentence. “I don’t… you’re just so… warm, soft.”
“Mmmm, you like my pussy?”
“Oh, f-fuck, yeah.”
“Yeah? Then take it Eds, I’m all yours,” you promised.
“You mean that?” his hands tickled your ribs as they glided from your breasts to your ass, his palms squeezing what now belonged to him. “Even… after tonight?”
“Is that what you want?” 
His lovestruck gaze never broke your own as he nodded sincerely, your foreheads still stuck together.
“Then you can have me anytime you want, baby.”
Eddie groaned, his eyes fluttering closed as he let the words he had dreamt about hearing for so long finally sink in. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and let every one of his senses be entirely consumed by you. Eddie was concentrating so hard on driving himself into your warm, wet heat that he didn’t notice his orgasm sneaking up until it was too late. Before he could get a word out he was already pulsing inside you, grunting into your neck with a deep growl. When Eddie finally slipped out of you, your fingers lightly soothed any part of him you could reach while he recovered. His entire body trembled from the force of his release. The problem however still remained. Despite your best efforts, the full condom glistened around his everlasting hard on. 
“Fuck!” Eddie yelled.
You stared at him hopelessly. You hated that it was causing him so much distress, but you knew neither of you had the stamina to go another round. At least, not without a break first. 
“I’m just gonna… Try to take care of it-” he muttered, pulling off the condom and tying the top with a tight knot as you moved out of his lap. He swung his unsteady legs over the edge of the bed and tossed it in the nearby trash can. “In the bathroom… I’ll be back.”
You'd already gone out of your way to help him and at this rate he considers himself a nuisance; he has to solve this issue on his own. You reached out and grasped his wrist before he could get too far.
“You don’t have to go,” you said. You gnawed in your lower lip, worried he may reject you in favour of his own hand. “I wanna help.”
Eddie felt like an idiot for being blinded by frustration and almost leaving the girl of his dreams naked and alone in his bed.
Eddie, beckoned by your pleading expression, returned to your side. The springs squeaked beneath his weight as he rejoined you. When he laid back against the pillow and you giggled; a subconscious attempt at easing the hopeless atmosphere. Once he was comfortable beside you, you tenderly wrapped your fingers around his shaft. You'd only stroked him a handful of times before you were startled by his outburst.
“Ow, ow! Fuck, stop!” he wailed at the lingering pain in his balls. “I can’t go again, it hurts too bad.”
“Sorry!” You placed your hand on his thigh and gave it a firm squeeze, unsure how else to comfort him. 
Eddie didn't speak another word, his train of thought overpowered by self-pity. You slid off of the bed and retrieved your clothes from the living room. Dressing yourself there, you pulled on your t-shirt and panties leaving your jeans in a heap where you’d dropped them. After returning to his room, you crawled back into bed and encouraged him to settle between your open legs. He obliged and scooted until his bare back was against your chest. Too sore and too exhausted to care about being naked, his eyes fluttered closed. You pressed your cheek to the crown of his head and drew soothing patterns across his flushed, pale skin. His reflection in the mirror across the room was saddening; he looked like he wanted to cry.
“I’m gonna be stuck like this forever.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” you chuckled. You turned your head to look at his alarm clock. “You’ve still got an hour left, I’m sure it will go away in no time.”
“What if it doesn’t?” he lamented.
“Then I guess I’ll drive you to the emergency room.” 
The look on Eddie’s face as it snapped towards you could only be described as one of pure horror but if it came down to it, you really would have to. You cupped his cheek in your palm and told him once again to stop worrying. Leaning forward you pecked a kiss to the tip of his nose. When that failed to banish the worry lines that still marred his face you placed another to his forehead. Then to the corner of his mouth and each of his cheeks. Still unsatisfied you lifted his hand and brought each of his fingers to your lips. Eventually he caved, the sweetest of smiles creeping across his features. 
“Thank you,” he whispered before settling back into your embrace.
Against all odds you managed to relax him enough to drift into a light sleep. By the time he stirred a little over half an hour later his erection had finally subsided. Eddie had never been so happy to go soft in his entire life.
The following morning, Wayne was lounging in his armchair ready to enjoy his day off. He kicked his feet up to watch The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, bologna sandwich in hand, when Eddie stalked into the living room and planted himself heavily on the couch next to him.
“Can I help you?” Wayne asked after a moment of silence and Eddie staring at him intently.
“Drugs Wayne? Really?” he scolded, sounding like a disappointed parent interrogating their teenager. 
“What in the hell are you talking about, boy?” Wayne scoffed before he took a hefty bite of his sandwich. 
Without answering, Eddie whipped the box of Viagra out of his back pocket and slapped them down on the coffee table between them. It took Wayne a second to realise what they were, but once he did, he almost choked on his food. He whacked his chest with his fist and reached for the glass of water beside him. 
“Have you been in my medicine cabinet?” 
“You mean our medicine cabinet,” Eddie retorted. 
Wayne was speechless. He didn’t know whether to laugh at Eddie’s seriousness or scold him for his attitude.
“You really wanna lecture me about drugs? You think I don’t know what you keep in my old lunchbox?” Wayne countered. 
“That’s not the issue here,” Eddie dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “The issue is-”
“Now just wait a second,” Wayne interrupted as he inspected the sheet of pills, taking note of the empty pockets. “Did you take these?”
“That’s irrelevant. Why would you have these under our roof? This is a christian household Wayne. I expected better from a man of God.”
It wasn’t often that Wayne’s face gave away what he was thinking, but at that moment, he was finding it extremely hard not to crack a smile at how ridiculous Eddie was being. In all honesty, he forgot that the viagra was even there. They were a gag gift from his drinking buddies down at The Attic on his 50th birthday. While he hadn’t used them yet, Wayne was nothing if not a resourceful man. He put them on the top shelf of the medicine cabinet in the event that they may prove useful in the future.
“Kev gave them to me on my 50th,” Wayne explained once he had composed himself. “You know, as a joke.”
“But you kept them,” Eddie stated as he stood and towered over his uncle who’s eyes still twinkled with amusement.
Wayne didn’t respond, he only crossed his arms over his chest and watched Eddie start to back away towards the bedroom. He knew now was not the right time to pry but he couldn’t help but wonder what had happened that caused Eddie to ambush him like this. 
“Very disappointed…” Eddie continued muttering his disapproval as he disappeared down the hall. “Make better decisions… Oh, and we’re out of Tylenol by the way.”
Tag list: @boomhauer @munson-magic @somemydayy @hellfirenacht @paleidiot @amira0303 @ali-r3n @josephquinnsfreckles @snazzyalpacaking @bohemianrhapsody86 @kurtsroo @vix-xen @shiknglo @melaninjhs @bl00d-puppy @millercontracting @nicassie @eddies-puppet @domaniquessidehoe2 @bl1ssfulbaby @eddies-hid3out @fictionaldaze @tomtomslongdong @eddiernunson @the-unforgivenn @feyremunson @monstxrteeth @take-everything-you-can @raccoonboywrites @strangerfreaks @cherrywineisawaltz @upsidedownbunnyy @caffeinatedbtch @songbirdofthenight @fanficfantik @tigolebittiez (Sorry if I missed anyone!)
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honeydazai · 26 days
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୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ sending them suggestive pictures while they're at work
feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fukuzawa, Fyodor, Sigma
content: nsfw, female reader, spanking, sexting, oral sxx, masturbation, semi public
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It's not unusual for DAZAI to tap away on his phone during work hours, so no one — except for Kunikida, who still hasn't given up on glaring — pays it any mind when his smirk widens at his screen. What remains a secret, however, is that he's not looking at some funny tweet but instead at your tits, the blue lace of your bra making for a pleasant contrast in colour.
He's awfully smug about the whole ordeal, really; also, who is he not to play along? He definitely sends you not only some appreciative words back, but also a picture of his own, featuring either his hands — he does know that you're quite fond of his fingers, after all —, his face — because you can never complain about that! —, or his by now half-hard dick, pressing against his trousers, even though taking soft nudes borders on workplace indecency. Oh, and your pictures are definitely saved and stored away on his phone for later usage.
[new message from Dazai] “someone's needy, harassing me during work hours! just kidding bella!! you're so cute xx stunning too! how am i supposed to listen to kunikida any longer when you're so so pretty? :( ill call out sick, be there in 20 x”
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CHŪYA really doesn't expect to see anything but a picture of a dog you saw outside or of a particularly pretty flower when he spares a brief glance at his phone during a Port Mafia meeting. It's already disrespectful, though he doesn't plan on anyone noticing the miniscule action — that is, until he all but chokes on his coffee at the photo of you, legs spread wide, two fingers deep inside of yourself, wearing not only his favourite lingerie set, but also one of his ties.
He tries hard to ignore the way everyone stares at him when he, all too abruptly, excuses himself to the bathroom, his face bright red. In the safety of a stall, he really can't do anything but shove his trousers to his knees, one hand immediately closing around his dick while he types your number into his phone with his free one — and while he might snap at you, oh so flustered, he's also so damn turned on that he can barely focus on anything but the sound of your voice and your photo.
“Fucking Hell, babe—, God, with how Mori was looking at me, I bet he knew what was up. Fuck—, send me another one, please, I'm so damn close, ah—”
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Business meetings aren't RANPO'S favourite way to spend time. They're awfully boring, making him huff and sigh when he has to sit through them — though this one gets a lot more interesting the moment he clicks on a text message from you. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of your panties, pure lace and hiding not even the slightest bit just how wet you are, thighs glistening, though that's about all the physical reaction he's going to show. The fact that his dick strains against his trousers is no one's business.
He is, however, quick to text you back, amusement dripping from his messages, and if Fukuzawa wasn't already watching him with sharp eyes, he'd sneak away to the bathroom to call you. For now, you'll just have to do with sexting — this meeting is going to go on for a while, especially if he won't soon start contributing, and he's unfortunately got better things to do.
[new message from Ranpo] “having fun without me? youre so mean. at least send me more pics im dyin g here... maybw bend over or— ooo i know, we bought that toy a while ago, right? why don't you use that one for me, doll....”
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FUKUZAWA sucks in a sharp breath the second his eyes fall onto your form clad in nothing but one of his yukatas, and even though he attempts to remain calm, he's already blushing, arousal churning low in his stomach. Really, he was just trying to take a miniscule break from all the paperwork he's facing — besides, the cat ringtone signaling your message did sound rather urgent! —, though now he's not certain whether he can focus on it again.
He ends up typing “This is most inappropriate.” in response, though he never sends it, instead replacing it with a “You look stunning.”, only to never send that one either. In the end, he just quits work a little earlier that day and hurries home faster than he'd ever want to admit, cheeks still flushed with arousal when he joins you in bed, immediately slotting himself between your pretty thighs, long fingers spreading your folds apart and into your cunt to prepare you — only to realise you've long done that yourself. How convenient. He might reprimand you a little afterwards, though both of you realise it's not to be taken seriously. When he's honest with himself, he rather liked that photo — and he'll definitely keep it.
“That was awfully inappropriate. Darling, you know I enjoy getting to hear from you during the day, and yet — what? I didn't mind you wearing my clothing in the slightest. I was worried about someone from the Agency seeing the picture. In fact, wear my clothes again whenever you feel like it. Please do. You looked quite irresistible.”
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It's almost unfair just how seemingly unbothered FYODOR is. When checking his phone during a Decay of Angels meeting, aware that you know not to contact him except for important reasons, he merely glances at the photo lewdly depicting your raised skirt and the curve of your behind before putting it back into his pocket. Really, it's downright adorable that you're attempting to tease him — you should know better by now, darling.
While he doesn't bother with a response, he certainly makes sure to pay attention to you when he returns home. And, oh, the next time you want to toy with him, he sure hopes you remember this very moment, of you bent across his lap, his hand coming down ever so often on your butt, on the soft skin of your upper thighs, making you cry out with every slap. The marks, at least, will serve as a nice reminder, especially when you keep forgetting to thank him for every hit.
“There we go, dear. Ah, ah — don't cry now. This is what you wanted, is it not? My undivided attention — and you certainly have it, now. Which number were we on again? Tell me, darling, or we will have to start over, I'm afraid.”
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The second SIGMA spares a quick glance at his phone, only to stumble upon a rather revealing picture you just sent him — and, God, 'rather revealing' is an understatement when he's able to see just how wet you are, thighs spread for the camera —, his face heats up significantly, earning him some odd looks from the other men he's currently in a meeting with. In a desperate attempt to regain professionalism, he clears his throat, trying to simply continue, but it's as if every thought has been erased from his mind and was replaced by you.
When getting home that evening, he's calmed down considerably, cheeks still warm with the memory of you being this bold, though his sudden calmness might just change when you expect him in that exact same position, legs wide apart, the smile on your face teasing — and who is he not to end up on his knees in front of you, tongue flattening against your cunt while both of you let out breathy moans? In the end, he's all but begging you to return the favour.
“Ah, God, I'm close. At least finish me off, please—, you were really cruel today, dear. Make it up to me? Please? Oh, fuck—”
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Text
Never Mix Business With Pleasure - LN
A request from @luvrrish
Summary: After a disappointing one night stand, y/n finds her new boss is the man behind the disappointment. She'd spared him the knowledge till a staff night leads to an indirect admission that she's faked an orgasm. Out of some pride, Lando has to know if she did with him.
Themes: Smut (eventually), nipple piercing (is back bby)
No part 2 requests please
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Y/n had known she'd recognised Lando, but a couple drinks deep into the night. She really couldn't think straight other than the man was surely worth having between her legs.
Turns out she only wanted him between her legs till he got there.
Not that he was...bad. But more accurately...selfish.
Admittedly, she snuck out of there as soon as he was snoring beside her. Not entirely her brightest of ideas. But she really felt no appeal of sticking around for an awkward morning after.
What she didn't expect was a week later for her to find him at the head of the table leading a meeting at her new job.
Now y/n is an adult she can have a one night stand and it not be awkward. Especially since she's almost certain that he has no idea she faked it.
"Y/n, can we just have a chat?" Lando asks when Max calls the meeting to an end, though Lando's best friend looks at him suspiciously since usually Lando doesn't bother to invest his time in new employees.
"Uh-Yes, yes. Of course." Y/n confirms before the rest of the room leaves and closes the door.
"I just wanted to make sure that you're...not uncomfortable working here-"
"Mr Norris, you're my boss and our one night stand happened before my official employment start date. I am more than capable of maintaining a professional relationship with you as I'm sure you are with me. It's only the two of us who know and we're adults, I'm sure that we can get over having seen each other naked." Y/n smiles trying to maintain as cool and unbothered an attitude as possible while keeping herself professional.
"Yeah right, I just...wanted to make sure you were comfortable. And everyone here kind of builds a friendship so just call me Lando. Mr Norris is...professional but too professional for me."
"Right, Lando. Anyway, I know you need to get off. So I'll not keep you."
-
Y/n did make friends with everyone at Quadrant. She also really found this to be the best job she's ever had.
Thankfully, Lando has such a busy schedule beyond Quadrant. He's not there nearly as often as she had originally anticipated and when he is, neither of them struggle.
Although it has only been 2 weeks.
"I bet y/n has some secrets. We can get out of her." Ria comments when the game of never have I ever is thrown out as part of the gathering.
It was meant to be for staff, but there was definitely a few plus ones who had beefed the group up and quite a few that y/n didn't know.
"Secrets? I'm an open book." Y/n laughs while swallowing back a mouthful of water since she's determined to not end the night anything more than tipsy.
They each go about saying a never have I ever, some of them going for boring safe options and some of them going for the spicier variety.
"Alright, this one is for the ladies...and maybe the men. Never had I ever faked an orgasm." Max states seeming to watch his own girlfriend who takes a small sip making the room burst into laughter.
"It wasn't with you." She assures him with a pitiful pat that seems to be more of a "I'm trying to save you while also being honest in front of your friends".
Y/n and Ria actually cheers as they also take a mouthful of their drinks.
Y/n really didn't think to check if Lando was watching her, it hadn't struck her that he might be or that he might even care. After all he certainly didn't in the moment. So the idea he would now never crossed her mind.
The game goes on before people eventually get bored or too drunk to focus.
Y/n ends up deciding to be one of the first to leave, though it's not as if she's leaving early. It's near enough 1 in the morning.
"I was going to leave too. I'll give you a ride." Lando states catching up to her as she pulls on her jacket at the doorway, the suggestion of him driving her making her frown. "I haven't been drinking-well one drink, but nothing strong."
"I don't know if we're going in the same direction. I could walk to my place from here." Y/n murmurs since there's something about Lando's expression that makes her feel like there's a reason he rushed to leave early. "It's only about a 15 minute walk really."
"Well it'll be even quicker and warmer in my car." Lando smiles making her look at him for a moment before she nods.
"Yeah, you're right." Y/n nods before following him out.
He's got one of his expensive ass sports cars that she could maybe afford if she spent the rest of her life not spending a penny on anything, not even food, and then worked till she was 150. Then she might be able to afford a second had version.
"You look annoyed." Lando comments making her furrowed brows quickly raise themselves while he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. "Actually I wanted to ask you something."
"Oh ok." Y/n nods feeling herself get a little nervous.
Lando might not be as involved in the day to day workings of Quadrant as she'd thought when she realised he is her boss. But he is still her boss, if he decides she's not performing well enough then he is well within his rights to fire her.
Fuck.
"Back when we were playing that game, you drank when Max asked if anyone had faked an orgasm." Lando states keeping his eyes trained perfectly on the road.
"Yeah." Y/n confirms suddenly gritting her teeth at the feeling of where this conversation is going to go. "I mean I think all women have."
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just...did you with me?"
How fast is he going? To fast for her to open the door for a jump, tuck and roll manoeuvre?
This is not a conversation she wants to have with any man, much less a man who turned out to be her boss. But something tells her she won't believe her if she lies.
"Yeah, I did." Y/n admits watching his knuckles turn white from his grip on the steering wheel. "It's-Well I was a bit drunk, it's harder for me when I've had a drink."
Not entirely a lie, but also not exactly the truth. She tends to last a bit longer while drunk but it doesn't stop her from getting there.
"You don't have to lie to save my feelings." Lando states making her sigh. "I could make it up to you."
"Lando, that's really not necessary." Y/n tries since she isn't looking to make a man insecure. "It's not as if every woman ever has faked with you. It's just...sometimes it's easier."
"But I'd like to make it up to you." Lando stresses making her sigh again. "It doesn't have to be tonight...what if...I took you on a date?" Lando tries making her almost jerk her head back in reaction.
"You want to take me on a date?"
"I mean I would be up for it tonight, but I feel like it might be awkward now." Lando murmurs earning a small smile.
"That's true...Well you have my number, you can call me with plans and I definitely won't turn you away." Y/n states softly making Lando finally manage a small smile.
Y/n directs him to her apartment before she does give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye.
-
There was a few date ideas that y/n had. Lando flying her out to join him on one of the race weekends was really not on the list.
"This is insane." Y/n murmurs to herself as Lando walks in behind her.
He'd made sure she flew with him on the jet and pulled out all the stops for her in addition to that. She's never felt so well off in her life.
"You alright?" Lando asks making her turn and look at him for a moment.
"Yeah, just...it's the nicest hotel I've ever been in." Y/n laughs lightly before feeling his hand on the small on her back. "I feel like I'm underdressed just for a lobby."
"You're fine." Lando assures her with a small laugh before he moves them to the reception desk and checks them in then starting to guide her to the lift as he sorts through the keys. "I got them to give us a suite with an adjoining room. Just so you got your own space."
"So am I here to call you my boss or just...a one night stand redemption?" Y/n asks trying to ease her own tension.
"Neither of those sound great." Lando hums as the lift appears and they step in. "Just call me your...date."
"My date." Y/n echoes then smiling at him in slightly approval.
-
Lando really doesn't want to rush y/n into having sex, even if he's determined to show that he's not some inexperienced idiot who has no concept of the female body.
Admittedly, he didn't put his all into the first time they had sex. But the idea of her faking an orgasm just made him feel sick to his stomach for some reason.
He took her to play golf, then out for a meal and they were nearing the end of being able to stretch out the meal any longer.
"We should probably go. You've been looking at me like I'm the next course for a while now." Y/n comments trying to hide her smile.
Lando decides not to comment since maybe his thoughts have been slightly more x-rated selection. Though he genuinely thinks he can't be blamed, y/n dressed to impress and she achieved that and more. But he's not about to make this about him at all.
He manages to get the check and pay for everything before they head out.
"I've never been so lavished before sex. This must be what sugar babies feel like." Y/n jokes before clearing her throat when she realises that might not be a joke he's very happy to be a part of.
"I hope it doesn't actually feel like that." Lando laughs lightly as the valet appears with his car.
"No." Y/n confirms with a soft smile as the second valet opens the door for her and they both climb in. "Now I just have to trust that I am getting an orgasm tonight."
"You think I'm stopping at one? That's bold." Lando comments making her pause for a moment.
"How many are you stopping at?" Y/n chokes out not expecting it to have had to be a question between them.
"You'll just have to wait and find out." Lando shrugs innocently but the smirk speaks for itself and actually, whether it's the intended affect or not, she's not sure but it sort of turns her on.
When they get to the hotel, Lando again hands his car over to the valet before quickly moving around and dismissing the valet about to help y/n out of the depth.
"Thank you." She smiles as he quickly leads her inside.
Admittedly the anticipation that should be making this all so awkward is actually just making her more eager. His promise of multiple orgasms definitely makes her feel a little more eager to get to the hotel suite.
It's either going to live up to his promise, fall short or make her figure out a way to really sell her fake orgasm as believable and never tell him that actually it was yet another disappointment.
"You look like you're thinking pretty hard." Lando comments as they step into the lift.
"Yeah, I'm just thinking...what your plan might be." Y/n murmurs earning a small smirk. "I hope you're not about to get performance anxiety."
"No. Definitely not." Lando chuckles, somewhat hating that his hotel room is so high up meaning the lift is taking slightly longer to get them to their floor.
Lando's hand links to her own as they near their floor and just as they step out he manages to gently tug her into a kiss, his hands landing on her waist as they kiss and y/n steps backwards, trusting his guidance.
The room isn't far from the lift so when he breaks the kiss, it's not a long distance later that she finds herself gently pushed into the room in a brief pause.
Lando kicks the door closed and proves that actually when he wants to try, he certainly can seduce a woman with just touch. The touch that's specifically working, is his ability to slide the slinky slip dress off of y/n's body.
The silky material slides down off of her body with ease and she's left with no bra and admittedly some strings worth of underwear. She also steps out her heels as Lando lifts her up to wrap her legs around his waist.
There's definitely a bit of a power play with Lando still fully dressed while she's literally one flimsy and quickly dampening piece of material away from completely naked and exposed to him.
She's placed down on the bed with Lando's lips kissing down her body.
"I definitely did not appreciate your body enough last time." Lando comments, lips brushing her skin as he pauses the kisses moving down her body.
Y/n actually arches up against the soft feeling of his lips before he lifts up and removes his jacket that he's been wearing just for some more movability.
"You know I've tried to keep professional..." Lando admits moving his hand up to her boob, thumb gently rubbing over her piercing making her teeth nibble on her lip. "...but every time I saw you, I kept thinking of this shiny little piece of metal."
"Well, it's fully healed and free use to play with." Y/n smiles shifting to try and stop arching up into his back like she'd doing instinctually.
Lando smirks at her comment before he finally reaches down to the so far neglected area that he's most eager to get access to. He presses his fingers onto her slit through the wet material then having to use his free hand to keep her thighs from closing on him.
"Don't tease." Y/n murmurs impatiently while Lando just remains quiet pushing the fabric aside and testing her wetness before pushing a finger into her and pressing his thumb onto her clit which even to her own admission, she wasn't really expecting him to find or touch with such precision.
He wastes no time pushing a second finger in when he leans forward choosing to pay attention to her nipples too, the feel of a piece of metal between his lips is sort of unfamiliar but the reaction from y/n is a quick pay off, already twitching around his fingers. Feeling the beginnings of her build up towards an orgasm.
His hand is soaked already from her and he's suddenly realising the moans she's producing sound significantly less controlled and more genuine than what he recalls of their previous hook up.
When he finally locates her g-spot that's when things really change, he can feel her body started to tense from underneath him.
Y/n whines a little, feeling the build up starting to near the peak. Lando does let up on her nipples either his mouth on the pierced one and his free hand on the unpierced one. When she completely tenses, arching a little up against him. the moan that escapes her lips and the feeling of her thighs locking to squeeze either side of him might just be better than the feeling of his own orgasm.
She's clamped down on his fingers with a tightness that he's already going to dream about for a long time.
"Fuck." Y/n whimpers when she finally relaxes and melts down onto the bed. "Fuck, Lando."
"That's just the beginning, I told you more than one." Lando chuckles then shifting up to kiss her. "But it's good to know what a real orgasm sounds like from you."
Y/n almost wants to be insulted that her fake orgasm apparently isn't anything like the real thing. But maybe she shouldn't really be insulted by it.
"I've never have multiple orgasms before."
"Happy to be the first to make it happen." Lando smirks then gently blowing on her nipple as he goes back down her body. "Part of my redemption."
Y/n breathes a little, her body shuddering when he gets low enough to see her pussy still pulsing from her first orgasm. She's not even sure what it feels like for someone to give her head after she's already had an orgasm.
"This is going to sound stupid, but I didn't know it was possibly for every part of a person to look so pretty." Lando comments and she's about to say something, only for him to latch his hands onto the top of her thighs before he dives in-between them and licks her up and down. His nose managing to nudge her clit that was still entirely oversensitive at the feeling of pressure on it.
"Jesus christ." Y/n breathes, mainly to herself at the feeling of Lando treating her exactly like she'd joked earlier in that she's the final course of his meal.
Actually it feels like she's completely devoured by the man, she's not sure if the build up is just as quick, slower or faster but she can feel it already and her jaw drops open a little.
"Lando." Y/n whimpers, not being able to stop herself from threading her hand into his hair.
There's something that sort of dawns on Lando as he doesn't let up, he's never cared all that much about a woman's side of the pleasure. Sure it's a great addition and he enjoys giving head, but with y/n there's something much more satisfying.
Maybe it's a point to prove, or maybe it's how good his name sounds being moaned by her.
Her voice wobbles in another moan before she feels her orgasm hit her much harder, and with less of a build up. It hits her, catching her off guard but she's not so sure Lando was as surprised about it. Not that he lets up, hell he seems to extend the length of her orgasm from just keeping going and if her brain didn't feel slightly fuzzy then she might question if he'd even noticed she was hit with the waves of more ecstasy.
She hardly has a moment to catch her breath before he's shifted, finally getting himself undressed as he can't wait any longer to get inside her.
"You ok?" He asks climbing back over her making her nod quickly, seemingly desperate but wordless as she tries to pull him closer.
Really y/n is torn between the temptation of a third orgasm and the fear of what it will actually feel like.
When he pushes into her, she reminds her voice enough to moan while he drops his head into her neck trying to keep himself from caving into the urge to really let every ounce of his energy go into her. Not straight away at least.
"Move, move. Please." Y/n whines making him hum before she whines at him then being silenced when he kisses her and begins thrusting in and out of her.
The angle must be working because he knocks her g-spot consistently and she's scrambling for grip, unable to choose between the sheets and latching onto Lando. It's not really any time before her third orgasm hits as she actually cries out holding on tightly to him.
"Oh I'm not done yet, gorgeous." Lando chuckles, though he certainly was close. He managed to hold out. For some reason he just wants to aim for four.
It's his number after all.
Y/n whines trying to latch onto him tightly before holding onto him as he keeps going, but he manages to wiggle free only just so he can roll them over and sit her up to straddle him. He's not getting lazy, he just needs better access if he's going to get the fourth.
After a few thrusts with his hand reaching down to gently press on her clit, it seems to strike her like electricity and she tightens around him so much that he almost feels pain, but he stops fighting his own finish and groans pumping into her with no thought other than he is definitely doing this again if she'll let him.
Y/n falls forward against Lando, breathless and whimpering with every exhale.
"Fuck. Fucking hell, you were holding back on me that much?" Y/n whispers, not quite having found her voice properly.
"Sorry, I promise to never let it happen again." Lando laughs while she hides her face in his neck as he gently strokes her sides. "Take all the recovery time you need."
"I will. Trust me." Y/n groans trying not to think about the sheer amount of sweat and other fluids they're both coated in.
After a while Lando does manage to move her to lie beside him, purely because he wants to at least clean them up a little and get y/n some water.
"Thank you." Y/n mumbles as he wipes her with a damp cloth.
"You really don't need to thank me." Lando sighs shaking his head at her while she smiles lazily. "But if you want to thank me. Another date and significantly more sex like that would be something I'd accept."
"I think I might be able to muster that up." Y/n nods, biting her lip a little as she tries to hide a grin. "Especially when this is the treatment I get afterwards."
"Yeah?" Lando laughs lightly before looking around for the room service menu.
"Yeah." Y/n nods then smiling when he hands her the menu. "Is this for sustenance?"
"I'm a caring man. You need to reenergise." Lando grins then rubbing her tummy.
"So what do I call you now? Just so when I talk to being railed, they know the status." Y/n smiles earning an eye roll. "Just my date?"
"I fucking hope not." Lando grumbles then looking at her for a moment. "Boyfriend, if you're ok with that."
"I think I'm definitely ok with that." Y/n confirms before she let's out a heavy sigh and relaxes down into the soft bed then remembering the amount of fluids on it. "Oh god, we're sleeping in my bed tonight. These sheets are so dirty now."
Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03 @harrysdimple05
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luulapants · 11 months
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Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:
A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would
B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be
C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)
And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"
Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!
Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.
Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.
Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.
Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.
Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?
Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.
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luveline · 8 months
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I am so incredibly sick rn and desperately craving some Hotch comfort—maybe bau!gf who desperately tries to hide the fact that she’s sick even when she’s burning up and can’t keep her eyes open, and Hotch who just wants to take care of her!!
thank you for your request! i hope you feel better soon. —hotch fights to take care of you when you hide a fever. fem!reader, 1.4k
Spencer knows you're sick, but he's the only one who's figured it out so far. Everybody else is too busy. 
He pushes your coffee toward him and exchanges it for a cup of water without saying anything. You're relieved to find it's ice cold, fighting to drink it without spilling it, or worse, pressing it to your furnace of a forehead. 
"Just go home," he says. 
"I like it here," you say lightly.
"You're fatigued, obviously running a fever, and probably disoriented if your eyes are anything to go off of." 
"Are they?" you ask, eyes fluttering closed. 
You prop yourself on your hand. Having a desk right next to Spencer has its ups and downs. Ups including physics magic, surprise trinkets, and all the donuts you can eat. Downs include this —he's too good at his job but bad at taking a hint, so while he's realised that you're sick and tired and should probably head home, he hasn't stopped to think you might be keeping it a secret for a reason. 
If you take more sick leave already after your week long bout of food poisoning only a fortnight ago, it will look like you're trying to take advantage of Hotch. You don't want the team thinking you're cheating and you don't want Hotch to think this is how it’s going to be. You’d never use him like that, but it’s so early into the relationship that there’s no way for him to know that for sure. 
You take a measured breath. You're the kind of sick that yearns for bed, head heavy, a pounding pain behind your eyebrows and a nose you can't breathe through. Your lips are chapped despite the thick layer of balm you applied that morning. The weight of a bowling ball rests in your sinuses. Your head begins to list forward. 
"Y/N?" 
You look up, rubbing your forehead as nonchalantly as you can manage. Hotch stands with a hand on the railing of his half-platform, eyebrows pulled together as they tend to be. 
You like the sound of your name on his lips, even if it's said with question. 
"Yeah?" you ask. 
Before, it would've been, Yes, sir? But Hotch told you (while in boyfriend mode, assumedly) that it makes him hot around the collar (though he'd said it more delicately), so now you save it for special occasions, like when you want to get your way, and when he looks especially perturbed.
"Something wrong?" he asks. 
He can't like the way you say, "I'm fine," maybe he spots the far-away look in your eyes, your poorly concealed wince as your head throbs, maybe he just knows you. He gives you a look bordering reproachful and turns away. 
"My office," he says.  
Spencer sends you a pointed look. When he realises you aren't awake enough to glare back, he nudges you encouragingly. "Be honest," Spencer says. 
You almost fall up the short steps to the landing in front of Hotch's office. You don't knock before entering, and later you'll realise how odd this is. Hotch hasn't even sat down, instead straightening a paper from the wrong side of the desk. 
"What's wrong? Another migraine?" he asks. 
"No. I'm alright, did you want something?" 
He turns around fully. You like seeing him after hours without his suit, arms behind his tired neck and eyes half-lidded, but this look is just as good on him: furrowed brows, a hand twitching toward you but not touching. He tries not to cross the line here at work because when it starts it never ends. Your evaluations have to be cross examined and approved by a higher up, you are not permitted to room together on cases, and you have to report to HR every three to six weeks to reaffirm that Hotch isn't being coercive. It's odd and invasive at times, but these are things you have to do to be together. You'd do worse. 
"Did I want something?" he asks. It's more patient than incredulous, but the incredulity is definitely there. 
"From me?" 
"I want lots of things from you." He breaks eye contact with you and turns back to his things, shuffling papers into a manila folder. You blink dozily, wanting a hug and needing him to let you go back to your desk lest you give in and lean against his broad chest. "Like for you to take care of yourself." 
"I'm fine." 
"Forgive me if this is something I shouldn't say, but you don't look okay. You look sick." 
You summon your most convincing smile even while his back is turned and enthuse your tone with some practised pep. "Well, it's not the most romantic thing in the world." 
He ties the cord on his manilla envelope and clicks open his briefcase. It's a testament to how sick you are that you didn't notice it there, nor his coat thrown over the edge of the desk. 
"You going somewhere?" you ask curiously. 
"I'm taking you home, honey." 
You shake your head. "No, you're not. I'm fine." 
Hotch puts his coat on regardless. Briefcase closed and in hand, he walks the short distance to you and scans your expression for any give. "Let's go home." 
"Hotch–" 
"Home," he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "No more 'Hotch'." 
You take a step back but not one more than that, startled by his readiness to leave, and his reluctance to believe you. You're a bad actor and he's trained in the art of untangling deception —it isn't going to work. You give it a valiant effort. 
"You don't have the resources to give me the day off. You definitely don't have the resources to take a day off with me, and that's fine because I'm not sick." You rub your face clean, dust off your work blouse. "I have a headache, it's not so bad." 
Hotch actually smiles, then. You worked for him for three months before you realised he could. It isn't what you're expecting. It disarms you.
"Liar," he says, ducking down to give you a kiss. He sounds amused and sorry at once, an impossible combination marked by his small smile and his protective hand at your elbow. 
Every kiss is like a shock. Not because Hotch is particularly abrasive to the senses, the opposite —it feels right. 
"I'm not lying," you say.
"Take the day off with me, then." 
He knows he's being a bit of a bastard, evidenced by his smile, but he sobers for your sake. "You're lying to me, but that's not what matters. I can feel your head like a flame and I'm not even touching it. And you've kept your secret well, honey, but Reid's a good friend." 
"What did he tell you?" you murmur. 
"You fell asleep for sixteen seconds." 
"When?" you ask in disbelief.
"A couple of minutes before I called for you." Hotch squeezes your arm. 
"If we go home you'll have so much work to do when we come back," you lament. 
"It'll be the same as any other day," he says. He's slipped into his most dulcet tone, the kind he uses with family. "I am… desperate, to take care of you. I can't do that here. Please oblige me and let me do it at home." 
"Oblige you?" you ask. 
"Being your boyfriend isn't working. I thought I would try boss instead." 
You relent, finally. You genuinely can't abstain from him anymore, not when he's being as ridiculously charming and gentle as he is, his hand steadying at your elbow. Plus, your brain is probably gonna explode inside of your skull any second now if your headache is anything to go by. You drop your face into his chest and sigh, relieved when his hand moves to your shoulder, and his cheek presses to the top of your head. 
"This is inappropriate," you mumble. 
"You're really not well, hm?" he asks, just as quietly. "I'd be negligent if I didn't take notice. Doubly negligent if I didn't take you home." 
"Human resources…" You mean to say more. He's solid, he wants to hug you, and he smells like his expensive cologne. Hotch has a presence about him that's automatically comforting once you overcome the intimidating. Sometimes, even, the intimidating helps it along. You feel sheltered by his arms. Totally safe. It's probably why you nearly pass out in his embrace right there and then. 
"Okay," he says, rubbing your back. "Alright. I'll let human resources know your complaint, honey, don't worry. Let's get you to the car." 
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frenchkisstheabyss · 8 months
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♡ SKZ Members Who'd Love Sleeping On Your Belly ♡
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♡ All of the love to @skz-story-request-always-open for asking me to do this adorably fluffy request ♡
While I'm sure any of our OT8 cuties would love cuddling up to a soft belly, these are the four who I think would be in absolute heaven if you let them do it.
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♡ Felix ♡
You let him fall asleep on your belly once and he's refused to do anything else since. At this point, if you even joke about not letting him do it you'll break his heart
Seriously, you can offer him the fluffiest of pillows and he won't touch them because nothing's more comfy than dozing off on you with his favorite song or show in the background
It's never unexpected when he lays on you because he tends to come running at you full force with his arms open and his face lit up, making cute little noises that let you know it's time for cuddles
As much as he enjoys your softness, what really makes it special to him is the closeness and vulnerability he feels when he's curled up against you with your arm around his neck, fingers playing with his hair as sleep takes him
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♡ Bang Chan ♡
His reputation as someone who rarely sleeps is unshakable at this point, insomnia's basically a part of his lore, but he's out like a light the second his cheek meets your belly
Something that always gets him is when you come up beside him while he's working and stroke his cheek, letting him lean his head on you. As someone who's responsible for taking care of so many people, it's nice when it's his turn to be cared for
He can, will, and has fallen asleep in the sitting position because you're so comfy, and having you in his presence is incredibly peaceful for him, quieting the thoughts swirling around in his mind
Nothing's cuter than the look on his face when you wake him up enough to make it to the bed or couch where he can truly settle in, interlocking his body with yours so that you can't go anywhere
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♡ Binnie ♡
This man's obsession with sleeping on your belly is the precise reason why you wake up with random body aches some days
He doesn't care where you are, what you're doing, or what time of day it is. If he feels himself nodding off, he has to find a way to get you into any position necessary for him to get to it
Clearly, he's not particular about if you guys are bent sideways to make it happen but he does have preferences when it comes to what you wear. His favorite thing to see you in is a t-shirt because it means his hands get easier access to squishing your belly
There's nothing remotely sexual about his habit of slipping his hand under your shirt to play with your belly. It's relaxing for him. It also helps that you giggle when he does it a certain way. He could never get tired of that
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♡ Han ♡
He never gets a better night's rest than when he's using your belly as a pillow but going to sleep's rarely, if ever, what he had in mind when he first laid down
It's a good thing though because, with all of the energy he has, he can start to feel burnt out at times and he always knows he can come to you as a safe space to restore his energy since you don't really want anything from him other than, well, him
Even though it's technically your stomach he goes feral if anyone tries to peel him away from you. You're his baby and he's gonna cling to you for dear life for as long as he can
His belly might not be as soft as yours but he constantly insists that you lay on him too so that he can hold you and sing you to sleep, watching over you to make sure you sleep as peacefully as he does
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