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ohdeerfully · 3 months

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Requests? I got you 😌

Reader who made a deal with Alastor, be his informant, and he'll provide aid when needed. And reader was damn good at holding up their end of the deal, while Alastor hasn't really needed to uphold his since aid hasn't been asked for.

So what might happen when his dear little informant hasn't came back from gathering info on the Vee's?

EATING IT UP idk i love this kind of stuff thank you so much. im making this a two-parter! it was getting kinda long and i wanted to get something posted (:

Your Half of the Deal (i)

Alastor x Reader part i part ii part iii TW: kidnapping, cursing, alastor is manipulative (per usual), alastor is in denial if you want to be tagged in the next part, let me know! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

Deals with Alastor were, for a lack of better words, a big deal. Not something to mess around with. His twisted nature allowed him to create so many loopholes for himself, forcing one to do more than what they bargained him for. It was unfair, but that’s what happens when you make a deal with the Radio Demon.

You weren’t as lucky as the other demons at the hotel, not receiving the typical advice Vaggie debriefed any newcomer. Alastor got to you first. He got you soon after you fell into Hell, before you even knew exactly what was going on or the whole ‘soul’ thing.

“My,” A light voice cooed from the shadows, causing you to jerk your head up. Your ass still stung from the tumble you took after falling down into god knows where. You were curled up in a dark, moldy corner, a brief respite from all the freaks that you kept running into. Your fingers–no, claws?--still aches after defending yourself from a pair of spiked thugs.

“What a poor sight. How dreadful!” He continued. You could barely make out the form of the speaker. You just knew he was tall. With blazing red eyes. His voice had a radio-like filter over it, with a general low frequency humming around himself during the silence.

He had seen you, a new fallen demon, fight yourself away from those two earlier, a wild look in your eye. How it pleased him, seeing that look somebody gets when they are desperate for their life. But you, in particular, piqued his interest. To be able to acclimate to a new body, in a new place, and fight for your life at the drop of your hat.

You seemed capable, and he liked that. He knew you were naive, fresh meat always was. And he liked that.

You had yet to speak, only looking up at him from your fetal position. But he could tell you were tense and ready to spring, if need be. He played a grin on his face and leaned down closer to you.

“Oh, how rude of me! I’m Alastor,” He held his hand out to you from his bent over position. You shook his hand cautiously. “I saw that scuffle earlier, and dear if I may say, you fight like a wild tigress.”

You quirked your brow at this comment. “Thanks,” You replied plainly. “(Y/N).” You didn’t want to talk right now. But, you were at least glad to see a face that didn’t immediately go through your throat.

Alastor, of course, didn’t go after those of the ‘fairer means,’ as he would put it. At least, not in a violent way. He was all for the typical manipulation.

“Even still, a fair lady such as yourself needs someone to protect her! And,” He stood up straight again, a dangerous glint in your eye. “For a price, I could be at your beck and call.”

“A price..?” You responded weakly. You had to admit, seeing this tall, confident man in front of you did seem to put you at ease. He seemed kind. And it wouldn’t hurt to have some help, if there were more creatures wanting to attack you.

“Your soul!” He said, all too cheerfully. Your mouth dried up at this. With everything that has happened to you so far, you had a hunch that the term ‘soul’ actually carried meaning in this place. But, how much..? Was it worth the protection he promised?

“More like a mutual contract, really! Mutual benefactors!” Alastor lied, seeing that hesitance in your expression. “I get your soul, you do what I ask, and I protect you! Simple enough.”

The expression he held, with that tall grin of his, didn’t do much to calm your nerves. As chipper as he seemed, there was something to it. Something more, but you couldn’t quite tell.

“Deal?”

His glowing eyes seemed to darken as he squinted them in anticipation, his smile somehow growing wider. The static in the air seemed to crackle with more energy, almost violently, as you considered his hand that he had held out. There was an ominous aura that made your skin crawl.

Ah, what the hell. Flashes of those thugs from earlier was enough to put you on your feet. You could only imagine the other shit that lived in this place, and had a feeling they were the bottom of the barrel. You had only just managed to get away from them.

You made eye contact for a couple of seconds, the prickling sensation on your skin becoming harsher and more aggravating the closer you stepped to him. You grabbed his hand.

You were thinking about your unlucky situation–which you often did in your free time–as you gave yourself a onceover in the mirror, black eyes examining your tight outfit. A little spy getup–a little stereotypical, something you would definitely see in the movies. But, hey, it never failed you.

Thinking back, you could tell now that his words and smile were filled with deceit and manipulation. You often got pissed at yourself for how naive you were. You hadn’t even called on him once since then, and you’ve been stuck as his little pet for nearly four months now. He runs you around like a doll in a big playhouse, sending you this way and that to get intellect from his various enemies.

“I’m much too popular to be roaming in those areas!” He had claimed when you questioned why he, the Radio Demon, couldn’t just do it himself. “Demons flee at the sight of me. The Vee’s would see me from a mile away.” You had a suspicion that he just didn’t want to be seen in public making such a petty fuss over his television rival.

There was no point in dwelling on it, but you couldn’t help the occasional feeling of regret that twinged your chest when you thought too long. You were stuck as his, whether you liked it or not.

Slicking back your hair, you finalized your sleek outfit. Another day of being thrown into precarious situations by that red asshole. It was becoming a weekly thing, with Alastor requesting more and more information, especially from those Vee’s he hated so much. In fact, now that you thought about it, they were the only demons you snuck by. How obsessed they were with each other.

It was no easy task, getting through the security of that place. In fact, it was nearly impossible, seemingly getting harder every time. You had a cautious feeling that they knew what you were up to, and kept falling short of catching or stopping you. There were cameras pointed in every direction, every angle, in the highest quality imaginable. Every trip left your heart racing with adrenaline.

“On your way now, are you?” Alastor asked coyly. He waited for you at the entrance to the hotel, a glint in his eyes. Oh, how he loved playing with you like this. Watching you bend and break for him. He loved it. And you hated him for it.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll get killed this time,” You said snidely, referencing the increasing danger of each trip. “Wouldn’t that be a treat for me.” You said this in a whisper, but Alastor still heard.

He bent at the waist to be eye level with you, that sinister grin of his lowering slightly. It seemed he had wanted to say something, his teeth parting for a moment before closing again. His grin perked back up and he straightened himself into a stand. He simply reached out and patted your head.

“Now, don’t go out with that kind of mindset! Why, you know our deal!” His lips curled in reference to the rather one-sided promise you made each other. To be honest, considering you never had to call for Alastor’s aid, you weren’t even comforted by the notion. Who’s to say he even shows up? How will he even know if you need help?

Alastor stepped towards you, his hands flapping as he shooed you out of the door. “The night is only so long! Go along!”

So, now you’re here. Tucked behind a corner near the Vee’s residence. There were cameras everywhere, obviously, and you swore you saw more than last time. What point does Alastor even have, making you come here so often? What more could he want? You knew him and Vox were rivals, but it wasn’t like Alastor didn’t know how to take care of the TV-head.

You had a sick feeling that Alastor just enjoyed making you do bullshit for him like this, and didn’t care much for the actual information. The thought drew a sneer on your face. If you weren’t literally soul bound to this guy, you would probably just let yourself get caught and likely killed on the spot. But, of course, your deal made that dream impossible.

With a couple hops on your toes, you began your brisk walk towards the back of the manor. You were hyper aware of all the cameras, and hoped that your dark outfit helped blend with the shadows.

However, the second you lifted a window and stepped foot into the building, lights flashed and an alarm rang. Fuck.

The television demon himself got to you surprisingly fast. As if he had been waiting. Which, honestly, wouldn’t have surprised you. You briefly wondered why it took them so long to have an alarm system in the first place, and began frantically looking for a way out. The window behind you had shut and locked. The hallway was incredibly narrow and Vox stood in the way.

Fuck it, you made a mad dash for the Overlord, hoping to catch him off guard. You raised a clawed hand and swiped at his television head. A pointless attack, you realize, as the screen nearly flickered for a moment; his wide, pixelated grin staring into you. Before you could move again, his arm tightly gripped at your throat. You felt an electrifying sensation, stinging through every nerve, and blacked out.

“Heyy, Al?” Charlie’s voice rang through the doorway of Alastor’s radio tower. “Have you seen (Y/N)..? She was supposed to help with some decorations.” She had opened the door without warning.

He paced back and forth in thought, gripping the top of his cane with one hand and tapping the end of it in his other. He didn’t respond to Charlie, but the question did ring in his head over and over. You hadn’t come back from the night before. You always came back before the day broke.

He didn’t know the feeling that stirred in his chest as he watched the minutes pass by. The hours pass by. All without a sight of you. He never thought to keep watch as you worked, refraining from sending his shadow to spy on the spy, as he always saw you as capable enough.

Besides, he thought to himself. What a waste of my time that would be. Fretting over a single demon.

“Alastor,” Charlie said again. He craned his neck to her, stopping his train of thought. His grin had a strain to it and his nose wrinkled in aggravation. Why was she in his space? He hated intrusions.

“What?” He said bluntly.

“(Y/N)?” She spoke your name again, hoping to prompt some conversation out of the Radio demon with the implied question.

Alastor composed himself, acting unphased by the… worry? That he felt. “Why would I know where she is? I take care of this hotel, but not so much the residents.” It was a true enough statement, as he preferred just watching the demons Charlie try desperately to rehabilitate and fail miserably every day.

“Now, if you don’t mind,” He interrupted Charlie before she could say anything, her mouth hanging open and words dying on her tongue. He briskly turned on his feet and walked towards her, standing at the doorway. “I would prefer you knock next time.” He shut the door on her.

He couldn’t handle the heavy feeling that threatened his lungs as he thought about what was happening at the Vee’s residence.

Did he really care to go out, risk a scene, risk the intel, just to get you? To make sure you were okay?

Yeah. He had to. He hated that feeling in his chest, especially as it just grew heavier and more overwhelming. He just chalked it up to the deal he had made with you putting a pressure on his own soul to hurry up and deal with it. But he couldn’t help the tightness that consumed him when he thought about what you were doing in that place. Or what they were doing to you. He brushed the emotion aside, trying his best to ignore it.

He argued with himself that yeah, he was only going because of that deal he had made. No, no way did he have a soft spot for you. No way in Hell. He was just doing this to hold up his deal. Yeah.

With a heavy sigh and a twitch at the corners of his lips, he brushed his talon-like fingers through the fringe of his hair, pushing it back before letting it fall into place again. He tried to maintain a leisurely composure, but a wild glint in his eye was proof enough that he was stressed out.

Best to get this over with. He had a deal to uphold. He opted for the faster route, melting into his shadow.

part ii part iii

#alastor #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #tw: kidnapping #kidnapping #alastor doesnt realize he Feels stuff

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serosluv2 · 4 months

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obsessed bf x pretty gf trope hcs w sero & shoto pls & ty 😁😁 (seperately pls)

It’s only 7 months late but here u go anon 😘

a/n: I wrote this in an hour in the bathtub so if it is shit- don’t tell me bc I’m just getting back into writing 😭😭

Shoto Todoroki

He fits this trope so well.

He is THEE resident pretty boy of UA so it makes perfect sense that he has the prettiest girl in all of Japan. (The world)

He is the teeny weeny ist bit dense on like how to take proper photos of you for the ‘gram but trust that he WILL be searching up everything about lighting and angles and exposure and zoom- all that nonsense.

If you’re a social media girly he may leave like one or two comments. He isn’t the best about being outwardly obsessed with you, he is all about those private small moments. Not being able to take his eyes off you anywhere. Always needing to be beside you. If he can’t be with you then trust he is texting you at every free moment and expects a response within 5 minutes.

He loves shopping with you and helping you pick out outfits or jewelry or how to style your makeup that day. He has no real opinion on what looks better tho he just loves seeing you get all prettied up. (Yk that tiktok where the girl is trying to decide on a dress color and her bf is just like “wtv u want mama u look breathtaking in both” ?That’s him.)

I feel like he doesn’t really buy you anything in the beginning of your relationship bc he doesn’t really see the point/value or something in that BUT all it takes is for kaminari to get you some product you’ve been wanting for a while for secret santa and seeing how touched you were by the gesture sends him into over drive:

“OH MY GOD! KAMI!!” You exclaim- wrapping your arms around him. “How did you know? I’ve been looking for this everywhere!” Shoto notices how big your eyes got and the slight blush on your cheeks from excitement and he feels, something unpleasant. Jealousy? Envy? Possessiveness? Whatever it is he doesn’t like how grateful you’re acting toward the blonde. I mean sure, he got you something nice you’ve wanted but that’s not his job (he just so happened to get you for secret santa so he kind of had to get you something) he’s not your boyfriend only your boyfriend- HIM- should be gifting you stuff. Then he kinda has a “ohh.” Moment and realizes he has never really gotten you anything just because.

Anyways after that whole interaction he is getting you anything and everything you look at for more than a second. You keep looking at some necklace at the store? Bought. He sees you liking tiktoks about girls getting flowers? Now you’re getting a bouquet every date night. Does he himself have money? No, but that No.1 hero daddy sure does. And let’s be honest he kind of owes shoto for making his childhood - for lack of a better word- awful.

In conclusion, Shoto loves his pretty girl and will do anything she asks of him without question.

Hanta Sero

Clawing at my cage for this man.

Now sero has been… infatuated with you since he first laid eyes on you one faithful morning. You were ordering at some coffee shop he passes by on his way to school and just one glance had him stopped dead in his tracks. The way your hair framed your face perfectly, your face in general because holy shit- you were gorgeous. Straight out of a magazine. He quickly took notice of the little embellishments you made to your uniform.. uniform? The same one Mina has. OH MY GOD YOU GO TO UA AND HE HAS NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE?

He literally cannot stop thinking about you and boom you appear again in the halls. Your going the opposite direction has him with your friends and he sees you all have a little cafe cup. Did you buy them all a drink before class? So you’re stupidly gorgeous and nice. Great, he, for sure, has no chance with you now.

But oh that’s where he is wrong.

When you guys start dating he actually cannot believe it. He is very guarded at first because- now it’s my personal hc that sero is a bit insecure- he can’t fathom how you, YOU, would actually want to date someone like…him.

But once those walls come down he doesn’t shut up about you. Seriously all his friends are so annoyed:

“Good god soy sauce if you mention your little girly friend again I’m hurling you across the city.”

“You’re just mad you don’t have a girl as pretty as mine- don’t worry baku-man, I’m sure one day some poor person will take pity on your soul.”

Sero did in fact get hurled across the city that day.

Now where he differs from Shoto is that this man is a GOD with a camera. He has that artistic eye and is able to capture you being your baddest/cutest/authentic self.

Literally ya’ll

He also has a good sense of style. He never thinks you look bad in one thing versus another but he will take into account the vibe of where you’re going and what’s you’ll be doing and give his opinion based on that. Because he grew up with sister and knows how to get around the “which one looks better?” Type question without hurting you.

Now sero doesn’t have money to spoil you senseless but what he does have is the forever lasting instinct to put your comfort above his own. It’s freezing and you didn’t wear a jacket because “a hoe ever gets cold”? Don’t worry sero will give you his and be visibly growing icicles on his body to keep you warm. Feet hurt from those impractical shoes? He’s caring you all the way home even if he is still terribly sore from a killer arm workout the day before with kirishima. A no a mudy puddle and you’re wearing your new white shoes :(! Well sero is laying his jacket down over it or simply caring you over the puddle. He isn’t the type to roll his eyes at how “ridiculous” or “spoiled” you’re being. You are y/n freaking l/n. He’ll do whatever you need to make sure nothing in your life goes wrong.

He also is the type to spam comments in your TikTok or Insta post and makes all his friends do the same. Not that you need it- he just loves fueling your ego.

#woohoo first day back after my 6 month leave #not that any of yall care #also I started watching jjk (yeah in late I know)#sero x reader #sero hanta #mha headcanons #hanta sero #hanta sero x reader #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #shoto torodoki

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hellfirenacht · 8 months

Text

Wing Man Part 1

Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Tags: Eddie Muson x reader, weirdo!reader, bestfriend!Steve

You hadn’t planned on becoming friends with Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington. In your mind, he was still that cocky freshman who happened to be good at playing Basketball during your senior year of high school. You’d never paid much attention to sports or the popular crowd back at Hawkins High, but word had quickly spread about the new kid.

When Steve and Robin approached you to help hook them up with a job at Family Video you were skeptical at first. Robin was a no-brainer when it came to hiring. She had the experience and clearly knew her stuff when it came to movies. Steve you were more on the fence about, as he seemed less cinematically inclined but Robin had vouched for him, and you were tired of having to cover so many of Keith’s shifts. Even when he was here, Keith was basically useless, always hiding in the back.

At this point, you were desperate for any sort of help, so you hired them both.

You quickly took a liking to them- they were easy to hang out with and were able to quickly pick up on what needed to be done. Robin always knew what movies to show on the preview televisions, and Steve was quick to pick up on any busy work that needed to get done.

“I’m always willing to go the extra mile to slack off.” he’d said once, which had earned your approval. As long as shit got done, they could slack off all they wanted. You hated that ‘if you have time to lean, you have time to clean’ bullshit. It’s not like the job was especially hard either.

Eventually you and Steve started talking on the nights where the two of you would close together alone. Tuesday and Wednesday nights were good for that sort of thing, they were your slowest days. You learned that he was floundering a bit after high school, struggling to find a place in the world now that he was no longer King Steve. It was also clear by the way he talked that he was still hung up on his ex Nancy, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

That was probably the reason why he kept striking out when flirting with customers. It was actually kind of sad.

“You know, I really should probably tell you to stop hitting on every cute girl that walks through that door.” you said, taking out some tapes from the VHS re-winder and putting in new ones. “People come here for movies, not to be hit on.”

It was a speech you’d given at least a dozen times over the past four months. You’d said it so many times that Steve was mouthing along the words as you said them, and you gave his arm a smack. Your heart wasn’t in it though, in truth you knew that at least half of the young women who came to Family Video were here to see Steve and flirt, which is why you were so baffled that he was striking out so hard.

He was good with customers, great even. When he first started working here he would get several numbers slipped to him between returned VHS tapes. But as the Summer months shifted into Autumn, he seemed to be running out of steam.

“I can’t help it if I’m naturally charming.” Steve said, with over-compensated confidence. “I don’t even need to think, I’m just that good at flirting.”

“Yeah, I think your charisma stat has taken a hit over these past few weeks dude.” you snorted.

“I still don’t know what that means.” Steve said. “But I have plenty of charisma!”

“You know, if you actually paid attention to what me or your children said every once in a while you’d understand us better.” You couldn’t help but laugh. Over the past few months, so many freshman had come in just to bother Steve while he was working. “How is the single mom life by the way? Am I giving you enough hours to pay the bills? Do the kids need new shoes for school?”

“I’m not the mom, I’m the babysitter.” Steve shot back, before realizing how lame that actually was then he sighed. “I think they’re doing okay. Henderson’s the only one who actively keeps up with me.”

You didn’t miss the hint of disappointment in his voice. “It’s hard when they grow up.” you said, putting your hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m sure they won’t put you in a home.”

Steve snorted and brushed your hand off. “Says the one older than me.” he rolled his eyes.

“See, I don’t have six kids to raise, so I’m going to stay young and fun forever, Harrington.” you teased. “You’ve got a full brood to look after. Oh look, I think I see a gray hair right there!”

You reached over to touch his hair and he swatted you away again. “Like hell there is!” he said, mild panic in his voice. You didn’t let up and kept reaching for his hair and he kept pushing you off.

“Yup, that’s a gray one, you’re about to go full Doc Brown on me before the end of the year!” You declare as he attempted to push you off.

Despite him trying to push you off, there was a smile on his face. A lot of nights ended like this with you annoying him and teasing him for his relationship with so many kids. It was endearing really.

The door to the front of the store rang and you two immediately jumped apart as a girl came in, looking to be about Steve’s age. She was pretty, and you slipped out from behind the desk to put away some movies. He really shouldn’t be flirting with the customers, you know this. But... well it was Tuesday night and you were bored and this was far more entertaining than reorganizing the movies in the back room. Less sticky too.

“Action!” You heard Steve call from up front and you moved casually between the aisles and cringed. Oh, no. He was doing the bit again. How many times have you told him that it wouldn’t work? “Oh, I’m sorry you’re so beautiful I thought you were an actress.”

You had to bite your hand to stop yourself from laughing. You couldn’t handle this, this didn’t work the first dozen times, why the hell would it work now? Steve’s voice carried easily, projecting around the video store and allowing you to hear every single word that came out of his mouth.

You listened as Steve threw everything at this poor girl. Talking himself up as some sort of cinema aficionado when you knew the last movie he rented was Star Wars for the third time to watch with Dustin. And he called you the nerd.

“So yeah, I was thinking, beautiful girl like yourself might enjoy watching this movie with some company.” Steve said, handing over the movie. The girl in question gave a polite smile and declined the movie, renting the two that she had actually came for and left.

“That... was sad, Steve.” you said, as she disappeared into the parking lot. You walked over to the counter and picked up the movie that Steve had tried to offer her. “‘The Karate Kid?’ Really? That was your big plan?”

Steve’s was leaning over the desk, bracing his hands against the side of the counter looking down. “I panicked ok?” he admitted. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. I used to be so good at getting any girl I wanted and now I keep blowing it.”

You felt for the guy, you really did. He’d gone from the top of the world to treading water in just a few short months. Steve had told you that he had been at Starcourt Mall the day of the fire, and you had a feeling that it affected him more than he let on. You’d seen him get rejected so many times, but he was always able to brush it off. This time it looked personal.

Well, he was your friend now, and as your friend it was up to you to help him out.

“I think you need to learn how to talk to women now that you’re not in high school anymore, Steve.” you said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “The tactics you used before just aren’t going to cut it now. Welcome to “life after high school” where everything you learned over the past twelve years is socially useless.”

“Yeah? And what would you know about social skills?” Steve said. “I haven’t exactly seen you going on any dates lately either.”

“Rude, but fair.” you admitted. He didn’t mean anything mean by it, but the two of you were very much opposites when it came to how you both approached things such as your social and dating life.

Steve was interested in taking any pretty face he saw out on a date. You had not been on a date in months, and had barely tried. Steve had countless tales about his time dating in high school, you went to Homecoming stag with your friends once. Steve talked about a time where he was almost having too much sex. You shamelessly rented porn from the back room and made Steve ring you up as he rolled his eyes.

He’d asked you on a date once and you almost laughed in his face. He was good looking, in a traditional sense but not your type.After thinking about it, you decided that kissing Steve sounded too much like kissing your favorite cousin. You had politely declined and he seemed relieved.

It’s not that you didn’t have an interest in dating, you did. You had tried to explain it to Steve one night, that so many people were into being popular and caring about things that you just couldn’t. You’d tried to fit in, but your interests were just weird. You could have fun at a football game if you were with friends, but that came from the excitement of being in an excited crowd and being with people you liked. You didn’t blame anyone for it, you were glad that people could care about these things. You just wished someone could get excited about the same things that you did.

You and Steve were both fish out of water, you’d just grown used to not being able to breathe.

“Sorry.” said Steve, standing up straight again. “That was below the belt.”

“You’re a dick, but it’s fine.” you shrugged. You’d been called worse for less. “You know, I may not be the pinnacle of normalcy but I do happen to be a woman.”

“I thought you said you were the Creature from the Black Lagoon.” Steve laughed under his breath.

“Only on special occasions.” you replied. “But that’s not the point. Look, you need help getting your groove back. I’m tired of renting movies from the back. I think we could help each other.”

Steve turned to you, brows furrowed. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’m thinking we could try wing-manning for each other.” you said. “I’ll talk you up and help you not make a jackass out of yourself, and you can help me get a date too.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something smart, but he closed it quickly with a tilt of his head. He looked to the side, thinking about the proposal.

“You can’t do any worse with my help.” you said. “I mean, that ‘actress’ line was bad. Really bad. Like, horrible. I don’t know why you keep using it.”

“It worked with Linda Mendelli.” Steve said defensively.

“Yeah, I have no idea who that is.” you said.

“She got the lead in the spring musical two years ago.”

“So your actress line worked on a high school actress once.” you laughed. “That explains everything.”

“Like you could come up with a better line!” Steve pouted.

“I can think of a million different lines that would work better than that. And I’ll share them with you, if we have a deal.” you said.

“So you want me to get you a date?” he clarified. “That’s what you want out of this?”

“That’s what I get out of this. Well, that and I can stop nearly puking when I have to listen to you come up with some weird line when a cute girl walks in. It would save me a lot of money on nausea medication.” You smirked.

Steve thought about it for a moment before looking you up and down. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you’re already not interested in changing anything about yourself to make this easier on me.”

“Again, that’s really rude. That is correct though, you get me a date as I am. No make-over montage, no pretending I’m something I’m not. I spent all of high school trying to be something else, and I’m done with that.” you said firmly.

Steve turned away from you, ran his fingers through his hair, and then turned back, offering his hand. “Fine, you have a deal.”

With a smile, you spat in your hand and grabbed his in a firm shake. “Deal.”

“Ew!” he jerked his hand back as you laughed. Steve wiped his hand on his pants looking disgusted. “That’s so gross, you really are giving me a run for my money.”

“Right then,” you said with an amused grin. “Let’s start with lesson one, and stop with any stupid pick-up lines to get attention.”

Over the next few weeks, in the slow times during work where there was nothing to do but dust the shelves and rewind tapes, you coached Steve on how to talk to women.

“It’s really not that hard.” you explained one night. “It really does come down to just two things; be sincere and be confident. You already have probably too much confidence coming out your ass, but the sincerity isn’t there. You keep throwing these random lines out and hoping something sticks. Fine, that works in high school but not anymore.”

“I’m always sincere about asking them on a date!” he protests. “I’m not just asking every girl I see out on a date!”

“That’s statistically incorrect but I’ll humor you.” you said, as you organized the candy shelf, restocking the skittles. “I believe it when you ask a girl out, but you’re so oblivious about them as people. Newsflash, not all girls are the same Harrington.”

“Yeah, some of them are you.” he said, leaning against the counter, having already given up on pretending to work for the night. “How many times have you seen that Rocky Horror movie now?”

“I see it once a month with my friends at the old Cenimaplex right outside town. Been doing that since I was eighteen.” you confirmed. “I’m hoping to get to be part of the shadow cast at some point.”

“See? That’s weird. Most people maybe go see it once in October.” Steve points out.

“We aren’t talking about me, Harrington. We’re talking about the type of girls you’re into. Also, don’t knock it. I plan on dragging you along this month. It’s about time you lose your virginity.” you smirked as you ripped open a box of snickers and handed him one. “Don’t tell Keith.”

He took the candy bar. “You know I’m not a virgin. I have had sex before you know.”

You shook your head, that’d be a conversation for another day. “Let’s get back to the point. You keep asking girls out but you don’t know them.”

“I get to know them when I’m on a date.” he said.

“That’s all well and good, but you need to be able to see what kind of person they are before you go on the date. Not everyone is like me and wears their personality on their sleeves.” you explained, taking your own candy of choice off the rack. “Okay so today for example. Remember the girl that came in with the brown hair and rented out Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure?” Steve nodded. “So, she also rented out The Breakfast Club.”

“Okay? And what does that have to do with anything?” Steve asked.

“It means she has a kid sibling, and is probably a burnt out older sibling.” you said. “Loves her baby brother or sister but is also very introspective and trying to figure herself out. You came on too strong with her, asking her to a high school basketball game was too high energy.”

Steve gawked at you for a moment. “I hate that you just made sense.” He rubbed his cheeks with his hands. “Shit.”

“Dude, just pay attention to whoever you’re interested in and all the pieces will fall in place.” you said. “Pay attention to the movies, what she’s saying, and if she’s giggling at you then that’s a good sign.”

“Pay attention. Right. I can do this.” he said.

Two weeks after this conversation, Steve nabbed his first date in two months. It had taken a little bit of coaching and some hyping on your end but he got a girls number and had set up a date.

Three days after that he had another date set up.

Two days after that, another three dates.

It was the start of October now, and you were decorating the store for the season. You were standing on a ladder putting up a strand of black garland while Steve held the ladder.

“So I’m taking Shannon out on Tuesday to get ice cream at the new place down the street.” Steve explained.

“We work Tuesday.” you said.

“Tuesday morning.” Steve clarified. “Then Thursday I have two dates with Amy and Marissa since it’s my day off.”

He’d been going on about this for an hour. Steve had been going on dates steadily again for at least three weeks now. It had only been a little over a month that the two of you had agreed to the deal. Now King Steve was back, and you were now subject to every detail of his romantic escapades again. You were happy for your friend, really, but sometimes you’d sneak into the back room and organize the porn just to give you a moment away from hearing about your friends new-found sex life.

It didn’t need to make sense, it just needed to work.

“Do you ever stop to sleep?” you asked, taping up the final end of garland and coming back down the ladder.

“Sometimes I sleep before I have to sneak out a window after I’ve-”

“Nope. No more words, Harrington.” you said, holding up a hand as he laughed. “I get it, I’ll give you more hours so that you can expand your condom budget. Your poor kids must feel neglected while you find them a new mom.”

“I thought you said that I was the single mom?” Steve asked as you both moved the ladder to a new spot. He handed you a bat from the box that held the Halloween decorations.

“Oh, you are. Your kids can have two moms, I’ll allow it.” you said, hopping up on the ladder again. “Hey look, I’m Ozzie Osbourn!”

Jokingly you bit at the head of the bat as Steve looked up at you as if you were insane. “...What?”

You frowned and looked down at him. “Black Sabbath?” you asked. “The guy bit a bats head off on stage?” Now he was looking at you like you were a total psychopath. “Oh come on, you didn’t hear about that? The first time it was a fake bat but then he somehow managed to grab a real bat?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, as usual.” Steve said, shaking his head. “What movie is Black Sabbath again?”

It was your turn to stare at him now. “How are we even friends?” you asked. “You and I don’t have a single thing in common. ‘What movie is Black Sabbath’ be so for real right now.”

“You asked me last week if the Pacers was a marathon I was going to race!” Steve shot back.

“And I stand by that, because that does NOT sound like the name of a basketball team.” You climbed higher on the ladder to hang the bat.

“You’re thinking of the Fitness Gram Pacer Test.”

“Sports!” you cried out, giving the bat a small bap to make it swing. “Movement like that means nothing to me!” you gave a pause. “Unless you’re actually going to compete. I’ll care for your sake if you’re playing. Otherwise I’m just gonna smile and nod. Give me another bat.”

Steve dug into the box again to pull out another bat for you. “So what’s Black Sabbath then?” he finally asked.

“Look at you taking my lessons to heart and asking questions about a girls interest!” You reached down and pat his hair, causing him to swat you away again with a comment about not touching his hair. “It’s a metal band.”

“I didn’t think you were into metal.” Steve said as you came back down the ladder.

“I’m into anything I like.” you said simply. “Why limit yourself, you know? If I like something I need to learn everything about it or I feel like my brain will explode.”

“You’re kind of weird.”

“I know.”

The two of you continued to decorate the store between taking care of customers. You were going a bit overboard, if you were honest. Keith had handed you a pathetic box of a few paper decorations to use, and you had gone out with your own money to buy more. If you were expected to be here to earn a paycheck you may as well get something out of it, even if it was the feeling of being surrounded by cheesy holiday memorabilia.

“So how are the kids, Harrington?” you asked, untangling a fake spiders web.

Steve sighed, messing with the candy counter. “Dustin’s doing good. He’s made a friend at school.”

“You seem tense about that.” you looked over at him. “Care to share with the class how that makes you feel?”

“I don’t feel anything about it.” Steve said, clearly defensive. “Henderson has a new cool older friend who’s into the same nerdy shit he’s into.”

Steve was so jealous, it was written all over his face. How long had he been the cool older figure in that kid's life?

“Should have taken him up on playing D&D with him.” you said with a grin. “Now your child is going to divorce you for a new dad.”

“You really need to sort out whatever metaphor you’re going to use with me and these kids.”

“Nah, gotta keep you on your toes.”

Steve shook his head with a laugh. “It’s funny you know? One minute I’m the coolest guy in the room to everyone. I was king of Hawkins High, had these kids that annoyed the shit out of me but looked up to me, and the best girlfriend I could have asked for. Then I graduated, the kids took over school, and now I’m single even after going on all these dates.”

“Yeah, life’s funny like that.” you agreed. “If it makes you feel any better I don’t think you’re super lame. You’re actually kind of an alright dude.”

“Thanks.”

“Any time.”

“...So speaking of you going on dates.” you started slowly, unsure how to bring this up.

“Right, yeah, so I said I was going out with Amy and Marissa on Thursday-” Steve started.

“No not that,” you interrupted. “Well, sort of but not really. So I’ve held up my end of the bargain, Harrington.”

Steve froze for a moment before looking up at you on the ladder. “Oh, right. So about that, I have no idea what you even like in a guy.”

“Fair enough, I have not exactly been as pro-active as you have been.” The past few weeks had been so busy with the changing of seasons and weeding out old movies that you hadn’t really had time to think about dates. You’d been stuck in a perpetual loop of work and school with the occasional odd movie night with Steve and Robin when they were free.

“So what do you like?” he asked. “If you want my help, you’re gonna have to open up about that.”

“Oh but that involves being vulnerable with King Steve of Hawkins High and that’s not exactly my style.” you sighed dramatically.

“Last week when we got together for movie night you got drunk and cried about how you got asked out to prom as a joke. Is that not opening up or being vulnerable?”

You winced and made a face. “I did that? Yikes. I’m never drinking again.” You did remember renting out Carrie with the others and crying because she had been a very relatable character in your early high school years. Things were a lot better now that you left high school, but you supposed that had struck a nerve.

“Come on, just give me something to work with. I know you’re a weirdo who obsesses over the most random things. You like Rocky Horror and anything with music. But what do you like in a guy?” Steve pressed.

You fiddled with the decoration that had been perfectly hung a moment ago, just to give you something to do with your hands. This was a very good question that you had thought about a lot.

“I guess I want someone who’s as weird as I am.” you finally said. “I’d like to at least meet someone who understood the things I cared about, or was at least willing to learn. I know I’m different, and I’m okay with being different. I want a guy who gets being like that, and won’t make me feel less for it.”

“That’s... specifically vague.” Steve said, thinking. “I was thinking more looks wise.”

“I like guys with long hair.” you said immediately.

That he could probably work with. You hopped off the ladder for the last time and he helped you pack it away in the storage closet.

Steve was thinking hard about what to do about his end of the bargain when the door rang and someone walked inside.

“Steve!” A voice called out, and your co-workers face immediately lit up and ran to the front of the store.

“Henderson!”

You watched as the two boys ran to each other, immediately going into a secret handshake that you couldn’t help but find endearing. The kids that Steve was friends with were always fun, but you had to admit that you had a soft spot for Dustin. That was a kid who knew who he was and wasn’t afraid to be it. You admired that a lot about him.

Deciding to give them a bit of space, you made yourself busy with the horror movie section, making sure that everything was in place. Lucky for you though, those two were still very much boys and you could hear every single part of their conversation.

It’s not eavesdropping if they’re that loud. Probably.

“The store looks great!” Dustin said, looking around. “You guys really went all out with the decorations, huh?”

“Yup, we just got finished. She bought most of this stuff herself.” Steve gestured to you and you gave a wave.

“Hey, Dustin!” you called out, and he waved back.

“They’ve started putting up decorations at school too, but people keep stealing them.” Dustin said. “There are at least three skeletons missing from the science labs.”

“Those aren’t decorations, Henderson. I think those are supposed to be educational.” Steve replied.

“Not when they’re wearing witches hats and cat ears.” Dustin countered. Steve shrugged in agreement.

“So is school going alright? How’s Lucas doing on the team? What about Mike?” Steve asked and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. Steve could deny it all he wanted, but he was absolutely a single mother to these kids. You wished that you had a way to record him so that he could see the way he was fussing over them.

“Lucas is still a bench-warmer.” Dustin said, grabbing a candy bar from the snack stand. You conveniently were too busy making sure that a copy of Sleepaway Camp was properly rewound to notice the blatant theft. “He still goes to practice every week, but he hasn’t been on the court yet. He’s been making a lot of cool and popular friends.”

There was no hiding the disdain in his voice when he said that.

“Well Basketball is the best way to secure your ranking at Hawkins.” Steve said. “I would know.”

“Yeah but it seems like he never has time to even come to Hellfire Club anymore. We’re lucky if he makes it to one or two sessions a month.” Dustin sighed. “He totally blew off me and Mike last week to go hang out with his cool new friends.”

“You know, you have an in with the popular crowd now Henderson. You could use this as a chance to be popular.” Steve pointed out.

“But I don’t want to be popular, Steve! I’m happy with the friends I have and enjoying what I like.”

“Ignore Steve, he’s stupid. Keep doing what you’re doing, kid!” you called out to them, making Dustin laugh and Steve sigh.

“Thank you.” Dustin said before turning to Steve again. “Anyway, Eddie says that conformity is overrated. He says it’s better to be a freak with a few friends than some weird version of normalcy and be miserable.”

“Right, because ‘the freak’ is so wise.” Steve said, rolling his eyes.

“He is!” Dustin frowned. “You know, he’s the only person who’s been nice to me and Mike since we started school. And last session he had us-”

That was when you started tuning the conversation out. You looked up at the clock and swore, you had some work to do in the back before your shift is over.

“Steve, watch the front for me. I’ll be finishing up in the back.” you called out, and Steve only waived in response.

Once you were out of earshot, Steve held up a hand to Dustin to signal him to stop talking.

“What?” asked Dustin. “You told me that I get at least five uninterrupted minutes to talk about the campaign when we hang out.”

“Yeah, and I’ll let you have seven minutes if you help me out.” Steve said.

“Seven? An extra two minutes? Make it ten.” Dustin crossed his arms,

“Eight.”

“Deal. What do you need?”

Steve stares at Dustin for a second. He doesn’t want to ask this question, as he never had any interest in knowing anything about Eddie ‘the Freak’ Munson. Eddie had been a stagnant 2 years ahead of him and somehow still hadn’t graduated. Steve couldn’t comprehend being 20 and still in high school, and he almost felt bad for entertaining this thought. Then again, you had also spent an extra semester at school, so maybe that wouldn’t be a deterrent.

“I need you to tell me more about Eddie.” Steve finally managed to get out. Dustin looked like Christmas had suddenly come early.

“You want to know more about Eddie?” Dustin had a shit-eating grin on his face that Steve hated. “Since when do you have an interest in Dungeons and Dragons?”

“I still don’t.” Steve said firmly. “I never have and never will understand your game. And I’m not asking about him for me, I’m asking about him for her.” He motioned to the door to the back room.

“Her?” Dustin looked at the door, as if he could see you through the flimsy wood. “Is she wanting to play?”

“I don’t know, probably? She’s made enough references to playing before. Listen, no, that’s not what this is about.” Steve sighed. “We have this deal going on. She’d help me get dates if I helped her get a date. And she followed through, and I still have no idea how to get her a date.”

“She wants to date Eddie?” Dustin had a look on his face that was a mix of surprise and confusion. “How does she know him?”

“I don’t think she knows Eddie.” Steve said. “But she wants someone weird and as much as I hate to admit it, your new friend might actually fit her criteria.”

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Dude, come on.”

“Fifteen uninterrupted minutes, and you let me rent an R rated movie.”

“Jesus, Henderson.”

“Deal or no deal?”

Steve turned and looked at the door that you had disappeared behind. You had been a good friend to him over the past four months, a really good friend. You and Robin had been able to keep him grounded and going after the Starcourt Fire. You’d more than held up your end of the bargain.

“Fine, deal.” Steve agreed.

Dustin smiled and seemed content. “So what do you want to know?”

Tag List @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile

Part 2

Dividers by @strangergraphics

#eddie munson x reader #nacht fic #wing man

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aprocessionofthoughts · 5 months

Text

Have you… you know… died?

part 3 of MM ao3

Jason wakes up slowly. God, his whole body feels sore and achy. He shifts, then freezes.

He was in an alley. He’d just been shot by some idioceta. He’d been bleeding out and unable to contact the cave. He struggled to remember what had happened.

Tim had been there, hadn't he? But he didn’t think he was at the cave. And he wasn’t in enough pain to account for a near fatal bullet wound. In fact, apart from feeling achy he felt fine. But he knew he had been shot. How long had it been?

He froze. He remembered glowing green. No. He was fine. He wasn’t with the League.

He could hear the sounds of traffic and what sounded like a whispered argument and he was still in uniform.

At least he still had his helmet on. Which actually didn’t help much since the display was busted and he could barely make out a water stained ceiling above him.

He tried to focus on the sound of voices, but they were muffled, probably in a different room.

He sits up slowly, turning his head to take in as much of the room as he can through the fritzing display. It looks like he’s in a living room. He’s laying on a couch with a small coffee table between it and an old T.V. that's sitting on a crate. Off to the side is a kitchen. The voices are probably coming from a bedroom, he still can’t make out what they’re saying apart from a few words that don’t tell him anything.

He stands, moving quietly towards the window. Whatever the situation is, it will be better if he can get out of here before they notice he’s awake.

The voices fall silent and Jason quickly unlocks the window. There are footsteps behind him and he hurries to pull the window open.

“Red Hood.”

Jaso pauses and turns back, tensing and preparing to defend himself.

He stills. In front of him looms a gorgeous redhead, she’s tall, probably about his height, and she has brilliant teal eyes. Behind her stands… a boy who looks remarkably like Tim. The eyes are a slightly different shade of blue and his hair is longer and unruly.

“If you’ll wait just a moment, Hood, my brother,” she glares at they boy who looks sheepish, “can explain what’s happening.”

Jason considered. It would be nice to know what happened. Why he isn’t dead. And what that green stuff was. And neither of them look like they could take him down.

He turns full towards them and crosses his arms, “Explain.”

The girl relaxes and smiles at him. “Thank you. I’m Jazz, and this is Danny.”

“Hi.”

Jason waits. Jazz nudges her brother who steps forward and rubs the back of his neck not looking at Jason.

“I found you outside and unconscious. I brought you here, so you wouldn’t get murdered by some random goon or something.”

Jason stares. “You,” he points. “carried me?” There’s no way this scrawny kid carried him.

“Umm…”

Jazz nudges Danny again and he shoots her a glare.

“What did you do?” Jason asks.

“What?” Danny frowns.

Jason motions to the tear in his suit, the bloodstain. “What did you do? I clearly remember getting shot.”

“Well, you see…” Danny trails off.

Jazz sighs. “Danny was able to heal you.”

“You a meta?” Jason asks. He feels relieved. If the kid’s a meta that means there was no Lazarus pit involved.

“Not exactly.” Danny says slowly, not looking at Jason. Jason waits. After a moment Danny continues. “Have you at some point, died or been really close to death or glowing green goo?”

Jason tenses up. He grits his teeth and he can feel his eyes start to glow. He steps forward menacingly, reaching for a gun that he only now realizes is on the coffee table and not in his holster. He shoves the fear down and growls, “What do you know about the Pits?”

*idioceta (ee-dýoh-keh-tah)- a word I made up combining the spanish words idiota and biblioteca. Means a library full of stupidity or a library worth of stupidity.

#jason todd #jason is liminal #jazz fenton #liminal jazz #danny fenton #bad parents jack and maddie fenton #fentons in gotham #dpxdc #dcxdp #dpxdc fanfic #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc au #dp x dc #dc x dp #jason todd is so done #lazarus pit #ectoplasm

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minustwofingers · 10 months

Text

exoplanet p.6 (ellie’s journals)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: a significantly different writing voice! this is going to be a very different vibe from the other chapters since i had to write it as i imagine ellie would (which is a lot different than i do). slight nsfw content (mdni), language, mentions of violence/gore, angst, ellie’s pov is actually really depressing

a/n: soooo i know it’s been almost 3 months...and i’m really sorry about that! a lot of stuff happened in my life and i kind of fell off writing for quite some time. but i finish series, so i’m going to get through exoplanet in its entirety so i can finally give you all closure. some preliminary notes: know that these are modeled after how i imagine ellie would journal if she did journal this much. canonically she didn’t do that much writing that follows a narrative like it does here. i think it’s honestly a little ooc for her to be emotionally responsible enough to talk out her feelings, but given that there’s no other way to tell her side of the story (save for legit rewriting it from her perspective, which would take another 6 months or so and be horrifically repetitive), i decided to just suck it up and write it. i’m sorry if it sounds awkward, since she definitely doesn’t write in a voice that i have much experience with. the next chapter will be better!

word count: 5.5k

tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28

(i haven’t updated this yet bc my tags aren’t working)

a special special SPECIAL thanks to both @roarriita and @elliesflower for being soooo sexy and betaing for me. you both are so wonderful and helped me sm in feeling good enough to post this :)

without further ado, enjoy ellie’s journals!

January 20th, 2038

Today’s been…fucking…

I don’t even know where to start. I don’t get why this sort of shit always happens to me. First it was being bit and somehow surviving. Then it was getting carted off across the country. And now some girl basically falls out of the sky, claiming that she comes from some sort of paradise up North?

I’ll spare the immediate details. I don’t think I’ll forget the basic stuff—her name, the way she looked clutching at her knees in the clearing and shaking. That stupid shirt she had on and that expensive scarf.

I still want to believe that she’s just a liar who happened to get lucky with running into us, but even without Joel vouching for her story, I don’t think I’d ever be able to buy that she’d been living in the same world as us. I’ve never met someone without scars before. I didn’t know that there were people out there who didn’t have marked up arms and faces. Or people without calluses. Did you know that hands can be totally smooth?

Anyway. Tommy says that he’ll try and reach out across the contacts he has. Joel has her living right down the hall from me in the meantime, so now I have to share my bathroom. Hopefully the Terranovan authorities are good at finding people. She takes so fucking long to shower. It’s a wonder the whole compound still has hot water.

[One page of drawings follows: Dina smiling in the snow on her horse, Joel playing his guitar]

January 25th, 2038

Maria says that they’re thinking about breeding Shimmer soon. I know she told me because that means I’ll need to ride another horse for a little until she recovers and I know that we need another generation of foals, but it still made me cringe for Shimmer’s sake. She’s too free-spirited to be a mother. She doesn’t deserve that.

I went stargazing last night. It was pretty. Lots of shooting stars. I ran into the girl while I was coming back from the meadow. She gave me a weird look, and I could tell she wanted to ask me where I’d been but kept her mouth shut. Sometimes I regret dropping off that bag of clothes. I really fucking liked that gray sweatshirt, actually. I’m not even joking. It looks weird to see it on someone else.

[Half a page of drawing follows of the night sky with labeled constellations]

February 5th, 2038

Long time no see. I’ve been pretty busy with patrols and helping Maria with securing the walls. Joel made me try some of that coffee that our new house guest brought. It was just as awful as I remembered, but he seemed happy. So one point for the space girl. I guess.

Dina’s been hanging around more. She just broke up with Jessie (yes, again). She swears that it’s for good this time, but I’m not so sure. She also talks a lot about Y/N and what little detail she’s gathered about her life back in Terranova. I thought teasing her by asking her if she had a crush on Y/N would make her talk less about it, but it just made things worse.

I miss when things were normal.

[One page of drawings follows: one of Shimmer in cross-ties, another of a girl’s face, half-finished with the face scribbled out]

February 12th, 2038

Today I’m sad. I’m in bed with that book about astronomy that Joel nabbed for me on patrol a while ago and there’s a section I wanted to read that’s completely waterlogged. It shouldn't be a surprise. It’s decades old and has survived through an apocalypse. Normally things like this don’t bug me much because I’m so used to it. Half of my Savage Starlight collection is damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever find the first book to actually complete the series, and that’s okay, because I’ve never expected anything more. But now that I know that there’s a world out there where I’d never have problems like this, stuff like this hurts. It’s so stupid. I’m lucky to be alive. Compared to what’s left of the world population, I live a much cushier life than most. But for the first time in a while, I’m wishing for more.

“Greed is the enemy of happiness” is what Maria would say if I ever said this kind of shit out loud. But is it really? Or is it just realizing what life can be?

[Half a page of a drawing of the solar system, with each planet labeled]

February 22nd, 2038

Maria let me pick the sire for Shimmer’s foal. It felt kind of gross, to be honest. I asked Maria if there was any way for Shimmer to choose and I was only sort of joking, but she just laughed anyway and patted my back. I won’t have to worry about finding a new horse for another two seasons or so, she told me. It’ll be weird not having her for a little.

She also told me that there was still no word from anyone who knew anything about Terranova. She said this to me in this placating voice, like she thought that I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something after hearing it. That seems to be common when it comes to people talking about Y/N and me. I don’t know why so many people think I don’t like her staying with us.

I don’t, by the way. Let me be clear. But I mostly feel indifferent about her now. She doesn’t bother me as much anymore, not since she started getting out of the house. I think she might be helping in the gardens, but I’ve never actually asked. We don’t talk a whole ton. I don’t think she likes me all that much.

[A drawing of Shimmer’s head poking over her stall door that takes up one page]

March 2nd, 2038

Today was finally our first nice day of the year. I would’ve enjoyed it more if the bird that lives in the tree outside my window hadn’t blown me out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning. I’m exhausted now. It’s been a long day. Joel says I need to take Y/N out on patrol soon. Why, I have no idea. Maybe he just wants me to actually befriend her or something, and I do nothing but patrols now. He can’t possibly expect her to be a good patrol partner.

Thankfully, I checked the logs when I came back. The route he wants me to cover with her has been the quietest all season. I doubt we’ll run into anything. If we do, I’ll probably be able to handle it. Hopefully.

[Half a page of doodles, mostly of nature and wildlife with the exception of a half-finished doodle of an arm clad in a fabric that drapes like silk and a hand with polished nails]

March 3rd, 2038

Many surprising things were learned today. I can’t believe it’s illegal to be gay in Terranova. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—out of all the things they could be bothered by, it’s that? Really?

March 12th, 2038

I haven’t been good at journaling recently. I don’t really want to talk about why. You know why.

[Six pages of drawings, with many unfinished doodles of Y/N—including but not limited to her on her horse, her reading on the couch, and one with her sitting in what is a very loose interpretation of a classroom, taking notes]

March 13th, 2038

I will feel more normal tomorrow. Hopefully.

[Two pages of drawings, all of Y/N. One is her bent over a book, the other is her smiling up at you]

March 14th, 2038

I did something really stupid. I think I should probably just document this here so I don’t accidentally drunkenly spill it all out to Dina at the next bonfire. This is so embarrassing. I don’t get why I feel this way. It’s so stupid, you know? To feel anything towards someone who’s so…I don’t know. Different.

She gives me the weirdest looks sometimes. I can’t tell what they mean. It feels like she’s judging me. And why wouldn’t she be? I bet all the girls she spends her time around back home are just like her—perfect, orderly, pretty, proper. The day before I took her patrolling she gawked at the shorts I was wearing. It was borderline offensive. Actually, fuck that. It wasn’t borderline. It was offensive. You don’t just stare at people like that. She should know that.

Anyway, I invited her over to my room last night. Normal, right? Because we’ve been doing that a little since I took her on patrol, by the way. I’m not sure if I mentioned that before. But this time I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m…I don’t know. Creepy? Strange? Scary? She told me that she thought I was intimidating. And then I called her “untouched”, like how some old-timer devout Christian wackjob or whatever would describe virginity. It was so fucking weird of me. I don’t know what got into me, but she kept doing this thing where she kicked my foot with hers or touched my knee and it just threw me off. It took me forever to fall asleep last night—I kept replaying what I’d said to her, especially how I’d told her that she wouldn’t have made it if she were me like I was some sort of hardcore survivalist. I think I embarrassed her. I’m never doing anything like this again. I’m going to be dead sober every time I see her from now on.

I’ll stop talking about that. Y/N did come back after I’d made a fool of myself and showed me her collection of movies, so maybe it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t watched any movies since I was with Cat. When we first started dating, I’d invite her over and she’d sit right where Y/N did last night. I’m trying to not think of the implications, because it’s space girl, and she’s going home sometime soon.

[Three pages of drawings follow—some nature drawings of ferns and moths, others of Y/N with wet hair, her knees tucked up to her chin like she’d been in Ellie’s bed that night]

March 19th, 2038

It’s the Spring Equinox. That’s the first thing Y/N told me this morning when she saw me in the kitchen this morning. She gave me a mini lecture on what that meant for the planet’s axis tilt and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I already knew, since she seemed really excited to tell me.

I made a horrible discovery yesterday, by the way. Maria came up to me and told me that Tommy had decided to reach out to some of his other buddies up North to see if they had any connections to Terranova, and for the first time, I felt myself hoping that it wouldn’t work.

It’s awful. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even in Jackson, where things are comparatively much better than the rest of the world, there’s risk. Just this winter, one family had to be kicked out when they were found hiding an infected son. No one here is completely safe, just safer. I shouldn’t be selfish. Y/N needs to go where she’s meant to be, where there’s no chance of infection or invasion. I’ll be fine. I just need to get over whatever this is.

Speaking of her, I need to go get her to tell her that we’re heading out on patrol in just a few minutes. Fingers crossed she doesn’t accidentally shoot me, but Joel swore up and down that she knows how to handle a gun now. Sure. Haha.

I’m back. It’s the middle of the night and she only just left my room. I don’t know how much detail I need to go into—chances are I won’t forget this. But for bookkeeping purposes: patrol did not go so hot. I had to give her stitches without any local anesthesia. I’ve never given stitches to anyone nearly in my lap before. I was really nervous, too. I don’t think I’ve ever had to focus so much on keeping my hands steady when it came to stitching someone up before, not even with Joel.

I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong about thinking that she didn’t like me. I still can’t tell exactly what she thinks of me, and I know that it’s a really bad fucking idea to be entertaining thoughts like these, but tonight she did something that made me reconsider. She got under the covers with me, and instead of moving away to keep us from touching, she rested her head next to mine on the pillow.

I hope she couldn’t hear how much my heart was racing. People can’t hear that kind of stuff, right? Even if they’re close?

I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way she—No. She doesn’t see me like that.

March 21st, 2038

She rested her head on my shoulder today. I don’t know what to think of it. If she was normal and grew up like the rest of us did, I would know exactly what to think. But she’s not normal, and it’s not fair of me to treat her like she is. Maybe this is, like, a culturally acceptable thing back from where she grew up. Maybe rich people just cuddle each other all the time. I wouldn’t fucking know, and unfortunately no one in this godforsaken town can help, because there’s a distinct lack of what Maria calls the “bourgeoisie”. They’re all either dead or back where Y/N grew up, doing whatever rich snobs do.

Even if it is normal for her, I feel like I can’t stop analyzing everything she does. She seems more nervous around me than she does anyone else, but she lingers like she can’t help herself. I’ve noticed that she stumbles over her words and touches me much more than is really necessary. Or at least I think she does—maybe I’m just imagining things.

But even if it means what I think it does, I can’t let myself think like this. It’s not fair to her. No one deserves to live here if they have the choice. At least the people out here know how to handle it. She doesn’t, and I don’t want her to turn into the type of person who does.

When I stitched her up and teased her about being weak and sensitive, I think she thought I was insulting her. I try not to think about it, but if I let myself wallow too much, I’ll wonder what kind of person I’d be if I wasn’t so jaded. Maybe I’d draw more, or read more, or write more. Maybe I’d be an easier person to love. I didn’t get to choose how I turned out. It just happened to me.

So if she has the choice, I’m going to do everything I can to help her make the right one. I don’t want her to be like this.

March 29th, 2038

I had a dream about Riley last night. I haven’t had one of those in years, not since I was traveling with Joel. We were back in the mall, and Riley had just turned the lights on as a surprise. I had this feeling then, like I was being given a second chance. That I could set things straight and do what was right. I woke up before I could insist that we leave.

[A drawing takes up half of the next page. It’s a crude depiction of the mall Riley turned in.]

April 4th, 2038

It’s the middle of the night again. I can’t sleep. I’m so disappointed with myself about what I did tonight with Y/N. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea. She likes me back, apparently. I was right about everything that I wrote about earlier, I guess. But it certainly doesn’t feel like I thought it would.

It’s not like there’s no part of me that isn’t thrilled that she feels the same way. That’s why I gave in and slept with her. But even when she told me how she felt, even before I completely lost my self-control, something heavy was already hanging over me. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. I don’t know. What I do know is that this can’t last. I can’t make this good for her like I want to. She needs to go back, and she needs to be able to feel like she can make that choice without feeling like she’s leaving anything good behind.

I’m not a spiritual person. but even so, I can’t help but feel like that dream of Riley was a sign. This is my second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time. I’ve already been an accomplice of so much suffering. Y/N is going home, and I’ll never see her again when she does. That’s that.

It took all I had left in me in the end to kick her out. She looked so hurt, and the fact that she tried to hide it made it even worse. I wish I could tell her why this can’t work, but I don’t think she’d understand.

[A drawing of Y/N kissing Ellie’s palm follows, her hair slightly mussed]

April 6th, 2038

I need to stop making rash decisions like knocking on her door late at night and asking her to come over. I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, because whenever I see her now, I can’t help but freeze up. Like last night, when she kissed me and touched my face and told me she thought I was a good person. I panicked and told her—well, nevermind. I don’t really want to repeat it here. It was mean, but I didn’t know what else I could do to get her to stop.

She was already tearing up by the time she left. I had to sit down and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick. I don’t really think I want to write more about this right now. It just makes me sad how unfair this all is. Of course the one time after Cat that I meet someone I really like it just has to be in one of the cruelest scenarios possible. I just have no idea what to do.

[Five pages of drawings follow of Y/N in bed, her head tilted back against the pillow, her eye’s half lidded, and her mouth slightly agape. Ellie redraws this multiple times, x-ing out parts that don’t seem quite right]

April 10th, 2038

I know this is none of my business, but she’s been spending a lot of time with Dina lately. She nearly got herself killed getting a gift for me with Dina yesterday, which feels like some sort of especially cruel joke. The universe isn’t being very fucking subtle right now.

If what I’m worried about is right, at least Dina has the option to come with her up North. She’d test negative.

April 20th, 2038

I would really like it if I could have one short break from the misery that’s my life right now. I turned 20 yesterday, accidentally introduced Y/N to my ex, proceeded to get much drunker than I meant to, completely fell off my rocker and asked Y/N to stay the night, and then discovered this morning that not only has Terranova found Y/N but that my strategy of keeping Y/N at arm’s length completely failed.

She wants me to come with her, and she’s threatening to stay here otherwise. I did the only thing that I could think to do and snapped at her.

I’m so tired of this. I hate having to act like I don’t care. This is the third time now that I’ve had to say something nasty to her to keep her from getting too close. I just want to get in bed and sleep until she leaves and I can pretend like nothing ever happened and that everything is normal.

[One page of drawings of Y/N passed out in her bed and Y/N grinning while holding a lopsided cake]

April 28th, 2038

I know I haven’t been writing much again. Sorry about that. I just can’t bear to think about my life right now. I know I should be relieved—this is what I wanted. I wanted her to go where it’s best for her.

But there’s still that selfish part of me that keeps me up at night. Y/N is going to leave this place never knowing how I feel about her. Logically, that should be what I want. This way I won’t need to say a real goodbye. I know I won’t need to now, since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s really fucking immature of me to be so hurt by what she must think of me now, but I can’t stop.

I wonder how long it will take for me to stop feeling sad about this. I’ve never had to process anything like this where there’s nothing I can do. With Riley and Sam, I at least got to heal from the knowledge that I was going to help make the vaccine to save the world. But losing Y/N just because of where we come from is totally meaningless. I can go forward knowing that I made it easy for her to make the right decision, but that only goes so far.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m going to practically live with Dina so I don’t need to be alone for the first few weeks.

I wish May 8th would just come already so she can go away and I can get on with my life.

May 1st, 2038

Things have changed some. Joel cornered me in the kitchen last night and told me that I needed to grow up and just appreciate the rest of the time I had left with Y/N. I was going to agree and try to walk past him, but he stopped me and told me that he needed me to escort Y/N. I guess he’s right. She can’t go alone, and Joel and Tommy are getting a little too old for week-long expeditions into the wilderness.

He also told me that I need to apologize to her and make things right, saying shit like I’d regret it forever if things ended between us like this. I don’t want to admit it, but I think he’s right. When I told him that she’d originally threatened to stay if I didn’t go with her, he blinked, hard. Then he told me that he had an idea.

I’m faking it. I’m telling her that I’m going, even though I’m going to leave her when she gets picked up. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off. When I told her in the meadow last night, she was so happy. I know it’s really sappy and cliche to say this, but I felt my heart shatter, bit by bit. I’m not a very good liar, not to people who are important to me. But I suppose I’ve been lying to her all this time, kicking her out of my room and telling her that I didn’t want anything more with her.

I can do this, I think. I have to do this, or else she might threaten to stay, and I don’t think I have it in me to be cruel again. Not to her. I guess I’ll just trick myself into feeling like I’m actually coming with her, like we have a chance of actually being together. I don’t know. We’ll see.

[One drawing of Y/N laying down in the meadow that takes up half a page]

May 3rd, 2038

It’s easier than I expected. Y/N sleeps over in my room at night, and if I don’t think too hard about it, I can pretend like things will always be like this.

I’m getting to be such a sap, though. I almost broke down in the bathroom today while I was getting ready. It was over the stupidest thing—a toothpaste bottle. Y/N always folds it so neatly, making a perfect, tight spiral of plastic near the end. It used to really bother me when I first had to share with her (because who does that—it’s weird and doesn’t do anything since she doesn’t manage to squeeze out the extra in the bottom anyways), but the thought of throwing it out when it finally emptied and having to find another one that’ll never be folded again hit me and suddenly I was counting my inhales and exhales. I don’t really give a shit about toothpaste. It’s just that it was the moment that I realized that she’s really going to be gone soon, you know? Slowly but surely, the evidence of her stay here will be wiped away and replaced. Someday I’ll forget all the little details about her.

She’s knocking on my door. I need to stop being so depressed and go see her before she picks up that something’s wrong.

[One small doodle of Y/N smiling and rolling her eyes while brushing her teeth]

May 6th, 2038

Dina’s coming now. Y/N told me this morning after she went to say goodbye. I feel really shitty about this. I guess I should tell her that I’m not going now, because this way Y/N needs to go home to get Dina the help she needs, but I just can’t bring myself to. I’ll have to escort both of them to the pickup spot anyway since Dina’s weaker now that she’s pregnant, and the thought of having to spend a full week with Y/N after she knew I lied to her makes my skin crawl. I can’t tell who I’m trying to protect by doing this—me or her. Maybe both.

I’m losing my two favorite people here, and they don’t even know it yet. But this is the best option. This is my chance to finally do some good in the world.

May 7th, 2038

I’m about to go stargazing with Y/N for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be writing in here again until I get back. I don’t want to risk losing this while I’m out in case something crazy happens. Which it probably will, but I canonically happen to be really good at living when shit hits the fan. Also—I don’t imagine Y/N to be a particularly nosy person, but if she ever came across this and thought it was a book or something, it would make things really awkward. So, you’re staying tucked carefully under my bed until I come back later this month.

I don’t know how to handle this sort of goodbye. I don’t really know how to handle any sort of goodbye, I guess, but at least I’ve been through them before. I may not do it well, but I know how to live when people I love die. But this isn’t like that. No one is dying (hopefully), and more importantly, I know it’s a goodbye this time. I see it coming on the horizon and I can’t even tell anyone about it. How does anyone deal with that? How does anyone cope?

Y/N’s knocking on my door now. I need to go before I start thinking even more and do something stupid like start crying or whatever.

I’ll be back in about two weeks.

June 1st, 2038

Sorry for not writing. It’s been pretty shitty, actually. It took me 5 extra days to get home because some scavengers gave me trouble. I hardly slept for most of them. I ran out of ammo about 4 days out and had to use my knife for everything I ran into until I was able to raid the cabinets of this abandoned cabin. Nearly got taken out by a clicker, too. It was not fun. It was especially not fun because I was not feeling super great to begin with, for obvious reasons.

Things haven’t gotten any better since getting back to Jackson. Y/N didn’t take her stupid Exoplanetary Systems textbook and now I’m struggling with whether or not I should throw it out. The rational side of me says to keep it because it was published after the outbreak and probably contains updated information that isn’t anywhere else. The rest of me doesn’t even want to look at the stars anymore because it reminds me of her.

It’s really hard not to blame her for ruining everything. I can’t go out and ride my own horse without thinking about the first time we went on patrol together and she dropped my gun and nearly killed one of us. And I can’t even relax in my own home, because I’ve spent almost every night with her since March in my bed. Sometimes when I hear a creak in the middle of the night I assume it’s her walking down to the bathroom or getting water until it hits me again that she’s never coming back.

I know I’m being melodramatic. There are many other worse problems I could be having right now. But I don’t even have my best friend anymore. I wonder if Dina and Y/N are angry with me for lying. I wonder if they’re settling in okay. I hope that Y/N manages to fix whatever her research was and that Dina gets better.

[Twenty pages of drawings of Y/N and Dina together. Some are snippets of them on their expedition to the pickup site. Others are pictures of Y/N and Dina walking around with smiles on their faces in what looks to be a city]

June 21st, 2038

It’s been over a month since I’ve last seen her. I had a breakdown while getting ready for bed when I realized that I didn’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore.

[Ten pages of half-finished drawings, each with its face scribbled over]

June 28th, 2038

I don’t think I really remember what she looks like—not exactly. I’ve been trying to draw her because I’m still in the habit of making decisions that are definitely not good for my mental state. I just can’t do it, and it isn’t for the lack of trying. Every time I get to her eyes I keep drawing something that looks wrong, but I can never tell why. I compare it to my earlier drawings of her from when we first met and it feels like meeting her for the first time again.

Joel says it’ll pass and that he’s proud of me for doing the right thing. Jessie and I have been hanging out more. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell he’s miserable without Dina. But he understands why she had to go—just like how I feel about Y/N. And Dina too, of course. Jackson feels like a ghost town without her.

July 17th, 2038

I haven’t been writing or drawing in here for a while, I know. I was going to just go ahead and start a new journal—you know the one that Maria gave me for Christmas with the dark blue cover—but it didn’t feel right to just stop without explaining. Otherwise I’ll feel like an asshole for wasting so much paper.

I don’t want to move on from what happened with Y/N and Dina. I really don’t, but I don't think I have a choice. If I keep going on like this, I’ll never be able to live normally again. I’m just sick and tired of being sad all of the time. So I’m not going to write here anymore. I don’t think it’s realistic for me to forget all about it, because I don’t want to forget her. Not really. But I guess if I want to get better, I’ll need something different. So, here’s that. The beginning of my fresh start. “Fresh start” and you call me overdramatic!! haha. Y/N was here!

(You left this on your nightstand. I promise I didn’t read too much. I opened it because I thought it was your sketchbook. I’m going to put this back since I hear you walking down the hall now.)

ok as an aside my blog is broken so my stuff isn’t notifying people when i tag/showing up on dashes or in tags. please reblog if you’re comfortable so people can actually find this! thank you!

final a/n: i totally get it if this wasn’t quite your cup of tea this time—i just really wanted to iron out ellie’s pov before their reunion in the end. which is happening and not a spoiler because i have always promised a hea! this was a change in pace for the story and i promise you that the next chapter will be more normal/align more with my normal writing style. i have also changed my mind (probably) and have decided to stick with writing an epilogue! so two more chapters are coming before this is totally over. thank you so much for waiting and being so patient! i love you all dearly ok bye bye now

#ellie williams x reader #exoplanet #not adding tags because i’ll eventually repost #this is just for people who want to read!

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whatdoeseverybodywant · 7 months

Note

all can we get a part 4 of all i wanted was you when they have a baby 😩😩 that would be so cute

Love - Chapter 1

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Hopefully this is only 2 chapters but you know me lol it might be more.

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Taglist: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci24 @jeyusos-girl @jeyusosgirl @melaninsugababy @baconeggndcheez @bemybabiibish @jstarr86 @nbanenefrmdao @purplehairgawdess @arination99 @alyyaanna @m3llowww @gomussy @jeysbae @hennyyybarb @babysyhsy @bebesobrielo

“I think I'm pregnant.” Janelle said out of the blue, causing Trinity and Sefa’s wife Maya to choke on their drinks and look over at her.

“Girl what! What do you mean you think?” Janelle sighed and looked over to where Josh was playing football with his brothers and some of his cousins. Josh and Janelle had just moved into a new house and Josh had wanted to throw a housewarming party.

“I mean we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other lately and my period is late.” Trinity sat up in her lawn chair and stared at Janelle.

“Did you take a test?” Janelle shook her head. “Why not?”

“Because..” She said trailing off and shrugging her shoulders.

“I mean you and Josh moved into a bigger house for a reason right?” Maya asked, arching her eyebrow. Janelle rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, better schools in this county for Xavi and more backyard space for stuff like this.” She said, nodding her head towards the backyard, where damn near all of Josh’s family had gathered.

Trinity rolled her eyes. “Ok if the last part was true y’all could’ve gotten a house with 4 bedrooms like the old house, instead yall got 6 bedrooms. What y'all need 6 bedrooms for?”

Janelle sighed and looked back over at Josh. “I bought the test. I’m just scared to take it.” Trinity jumped to her feet and grabbed Janelle pulling her into the house and Maya followed them.

“Come on, take the test.” Janelle let Trinity lead her to the bedroom.

“Lock the door behind you.” Janelle said to Maya as she walked over to her dresser and pulled the pregnancy test out. She looked over and Trinity who pointed to the bathroom door. Janelle ground as she made her way to the bathroom.

What if she was pregnant? She wanted to have kids with Josh but what if she wasn’t a good mom? What if she actually turned out to be like her mom?

She jumped when the timer on her phone went off. She wiped her palms on her tights before standing up off the toilet and grabbing the test. She let out a gasp when she seen the plus sign.

She jumped again when Trinity called her name . “J? What's taking so long?”

Janelle opened the door and handed Trinity the test. “I’m pregnant.” Maya gasped and tried to contain her smile. Maya looked between Trinity and Janelle. Trinity had a wide smile on her face and was bouncing on her toes. Janelle looked scared. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking a bit.

“Janelle, calm down.” Maya said as she grabbed a hold of Janelle’s hands and let her over to the bed. “Here, sit down.” Janelle sat down and stared down at the test in her hands. Pregnant… She was pregnant.

“What am I going to do?” She asked looking up at Maya and Trinity.

“Well for now we’re going to go back outside and continue on with the party. Then you’ll tell Josh and you guys will decide from there.” Maya said rubbing Janelles shoulder comfortably. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Josh’s face was scrunched up in confusion as he looked around for Janelle. Maya and Trinity were missing too.

“Hey, have you seen Janelle?” He asked one of his aunties who shook her head. Josh shrugged and made his way into the house, needing to use the bathroom. He decided to use the one in his bedroom. Before he could open the door he heard Trin, Maya and Janelle talking.

He knew that It was wrong to listen in on their conversation but Janelle had been acting off all day. His eyebrows furrowed when he heard Janelle ask what she was going to do. He was about to walk away when the door opened and Janelle stood in front of him.

“Josh. What are you doing?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Me? I was coming to use the bathroom. What are you doing?” He asked, peeking into the room.

“Talking.” She said as Maya and Trinity walked out of the room, giving them privacy.

“About what?” He asked and she sighed. It was now or never.

“I’m pregnant.” She blurted out. He froze mid stride.

“Josh?” She said when he didn’t move. She got off the bed and walked towards his placing a hand on his shoulder, breaking him out of his trance.

“I uh. I have to pee.” He said pointing towards the bathroom and walking in, shutting the door. Janelle stared at the closed door, she honestly didn’t know how to feel about his reaction. She sighed and plopped down on the bed, resting her head in her hands. She looked up when the bathroom door opened and Josh walked out the bathroom.

“So” He said, coming and squatting down in front of her. “We’re having a baby.” She nodded.

“Yeah I think.” She whispered. “Are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” He countered with. Grabbing her hands and squeezing them. She nodded again.

“Yeah I'm just..” She trailed off shrugging. “Scared I guess.” He placed a kiss on the back of her hand,

“That's understandable J.” He stood up and pulled her to her feet. He placed his hands on her stomach and smiled at her. “I love you.” She smiled and placed her hands over his.

“I love you too.”

“Are you okay?” She asked placing her hand on his knee so he would stop bouncing it. He nodded and shifted in his seat.

“Yeah, I just wish they hurry up.” She laughed and looked back at the magazine she was reading.

“Josh, we only been here for 5 minutes, relax.” He huffed at her and shifted in his seat again. She let out a sigh of relief when she heard her name being called. She and Josh stood up and followed the worker into one of the exam rooms.

“So I see you’re here because you took a pregnancy test ?” She asked typing on the computer.

“Yes. We just wanted to make sure it’s not a false positive.” The nurse nodded her head and typed something else.

“Completely understandable.” She turned in her chair and smiled at Janelle and Josh. “I’ll be right back.” She said getting up and walking out the door.

Janelle nodded and let out a breath that she was holding. She looked over at Josh who smiled at her. “You good?” He asked her and she nodded.

They both looked towards the door when it opened and the nurse walked in handing Janelle a urine cup. “The bathroom is this way, you can follow me.”

“How long does it normally take?” Josh asked once Janelle came back in the room. She shrugged and sat down on the chair next to him.

“I don’t know.” She said chewing on her bottom lip. “It shouldn’t be that long.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

“No matter what. I love you Janelle.”

“I love you too Joshua.” She said as she leaned over to kiss him. They broke apart once the door opened and the nurse walked in.

“Hi Ms Porter. So I have your results and you are indeed pregnant.” Janelle let out the breath that she had been holding. “I sent some prenatal vitamins over to the pharmacy we have on file just make sure you take one every morning, preferably in the morning and make sure you take it with food, never on an empty stomach.” Janelle nodded and smiled at Josh when he placed a hand on her stomach.

“Let's set you up for a follow up appointment.” Josh leaned over and kissed Janelle on her cheek.

“We havin’ a baby Nelle.”

Hey guys. I've been working on this for a minute. Hopefully you all enjoy ❤️

#wwe #jey uso #jey uso imagine #jey uso x black reader #main event jey uso #whatdoeseverybodywant writes #jey uso smut #jey uso x reader #jey uso fluff #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso fic #wwe x black reader #wwe fandom #wwe fanfiction #wwe smut #wwe smackdown #wweraw #jey uso x oc #jey uso x y/n

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tuberchelsea · 1 year

Text

Come Out to LA

Pairing: Yoongi x f!reader

Summary: What was supposed to be a simple trip to LA to visit your childhood friend turns into a weekend of a life time

Genre: idol au, smut, fluff, strangers to lovers

CW: sexual content (grinding (we in da club), oral, fingering, exhibitionism (if you squint), dom!Yoongi, sub!reader, p in v), unwarranted Kiss Cam, Yoongi is just too fuckin cute. Also, we may have some sad girl times.

A/N: I have not been in the basketball circle for a while, so my knowledge is meh (also am not a Lakers fan). Also, for somebody (me) having a JK bias, Yoongi’s been on the (my) mind lately 🥴

Title inspiration: Come Out to LA - Don Broco

“Question - how would you feel about seeing a Lakers game while you’re here?” Your friend, Becca asks over the phone.

“I mean I’m not the biggest lakers fan, but it’s been a while since I’ve watched a game - I’m down!” Why not? You’d never been to Los Angeles, so it’d be a good idea to do as much as you can in the 4 days you’re there.

“Awesome! The game is tomorrow evening! Did you want to borrow a jersey? I have plenty hanging around!” Becca asked, knowing full well what your response was going to be.

“…I’ll just wear something nice.” There’s no was you’d be caught dead wearing a Lakers jersey.

“Okay! I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon then!! Love you!!” As Becca hangs up the phone, you glance over at your half packed suitcase and the pile of rejected outfits sighing - packing shouldn’t be this hard. Looking over at your closet, you eye the new lavender pantsuit you’d bought months ago - might be time to put it to good use.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“Why do I keep punishing myself with bum-fuck early flights?” You curse to yourself as you off board your last connecting flight to LAX. You needed to find Becca - thankfully she was waiting by baggage claim.

“Girl, you look like you need caffeine.” Becca stated as she gave you a giant hug. You nodded in agreement - 4 am flights aren’t exactly your jam. Grabbing your bag off the carousel, you follow her out to the car. Not even buckled in, Becca started rambling off the schedule for the day - something that didn’t surprise you.

“So, I’m thinking we drop stuff off at the house, you can change, then we do brunch? Get coffee and eat - kill two birds with one stone.” You nodded, sending the necessary texts to your family.

“What else do we have today? Better question, when is the basketball game?” You inquired - she hadn’t really disclosed that to you.

“Oh! That’s tonight! We need to be there at least an hour before tip off, it’ll be a bit easier to get to the seats courtside, plus I-“

“Did you say courtside?” You interrupted her, looking up from your phone. She nodded, smiling mischievously. “How did you land courtside? HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU??” You KNOW you couldn’t afford the ticket at this point, even if you didn’t go shopping.

She shakes her head and laughs, “you don’t owe me anything, hun! Besides, I got them for free bec-“

“Did you win a contest??” You interrupted again.

“No, I got them fr-“

“Oh! Gifted from work?” You interrupted once more. Becca then glared at you, reaching for her flip flop.

“Well! I! Could! Tell! You! If! You’d! Stop! Interrupting! Me!” She yelled, striking you on the thigh with each word. “Now hush!” She tossed her flip flop at you. Your eyes the size of dinner plates, you nodded obediently, rubbing your thigh to help with the sting. “Oh I didn’t hit you that hard. AS I WAS SAYING, I got the tickets because I’m dating one of the guards on the Lakers. We haven’t gone public with our relationship, so I can still enjoy sitting courtside without media in my face. I was able to get him to get another ticket tonight so I could take you to see a game - they’re actually pretty fun!” You nodded, processing the new information.

“Wow - you moving out here last year really changed you for the better.” You sigh, looking down at your hands.

She reaches over and places a hand on yours, sensing your change in mood, “how are you handling all of that, by the way?” You go silent for a moment, thinking over the events from the past year.

“I was able to have closure - his family is still on my side with everything. Nobody’s really heard from him since his family and I found out why he left me for her.” You let out a frustrated sigh. “But I’m hoping it’ll be easier for them and myself once I move away.” You look back down, fidgeting with your phone again.

“Where are you planning on moving to?”

“I’m hoping here - I’m gonna check out UCLA’s Marine Bio Grad program tomorrow. It was one highly recommended by my professors.”

“Well if everything works out, I could talk to the landlord of my apartment complex. He’s actually a pretty decent guy. Plus you’d be in a pretty decent location.” Becca shrugs, turning into the complex.

“And I’d be close to you?” giving her the side eye and a smirk.

“I mean I think that’s the best perk if anything! Now come on, grab your stuff and let’s get you changed so we can start the day! Race you to my place!” She says, already running for the door.

“Becca hold on, I need my ba - I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO GO!” Groaning, you grab your bags, trying not to trip over yourself as you follow suit.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“I still can’t believe you wore a pantsuit, hun. I still think you should’ve worn a jersey.” Becca shakes her head as you both enter the Staples Center.

“Well, I think it’s appropriate - it’s a tint of purple AND I wanted to look nice since we’re gonna be court side. Plus lots of people will see us, even if we’re not sitting with the celebs.” You shrug, placing the blazer to drape off your shoulders.

“Hun, you do understand that court side isn’t like the VIP lounges, right?” Becca quirks an eyebrow at you.

“Meaning?” You send her a confused look.

“Meaning we will be sitting with famous people. Like there’s only one ‘court side’, hun.”

“Well now I just hope there’s not any cute celebs.” You scoff, following Becca to the seats. She grabs her seat, pointing to her left to direct you to yours. As you take your seat, you hear a conversation to your left - one that’s not in English. Your curiosity wins and you (assumingely) nonchalantly turn to see where it was coming from. Almost immediately, you make direct eye contact with the person that’ll be sitting next to you for the night -

Suga.

He gives you a small wave and smile before sitting down, you do the same to him. Once sat, you turn to Becca with a bemused look on your face, earning a small shrug from her.

“Becca, I feel I don’t deserve to sit here!!” You whisper yell through a toothy grin, earning a laugh from her.

“You’re fiiiiiiine, hun. Just enjoy the moment! Now, do you want anything to drink?”

“…Red Bull please. Flavored is preferred, but no coconut.”

“Got it!” Becca saunters off to the drink stand, leaving you alone. Already feeling warm from the arena (the anxiety wasn’t helping), you decide to slip off your blazer. You stand to drape it over the back of your seat, leaving you in a sleeveless mock turtle neck.

Suddenly, you hear a small voice from your right - one you wouldn’t have heard if they weren’t right next to you. “I’m assuming you’re a fan of The Ocean?” You look up to see Suga pointing to your right arm, sporting a sea-themed sleeve.

“Well I hope I do, seeing as I’m a Marine Biologist.” Sitting down, you instantly regret what came out of your mouth - hoping the sarcasm wouldn’t be too lost in translation.

He laughed, surprising you that he didn’t think the line was cringy. “Marine Biologist? Do you study ocean animals then?”

“Not right now - kinda hard when you live in the mid western part of the United States. Currently I’m working with more lake, river and pond life. I’m hoping to switch to more oceanic when I finish my Master’s though.”

“So you’re not from LA?” Apparently he’d caught something in your ramblings.

Shaking your head, you answer “nope, I’m visiting my friend, Becca” you pointed to her still empty seat. “I currently live in Montana.”

“Ahh okay!” He nods, “I’ve never been there, but I want to someday. I hear it’s really pretty. Also! I didn’t catch your name!” Suga gives an apologetic look as you mentally slap yourself for not introducing yourself.

“I’m y/n! I didn’t mean to come across as rude, Sug-“

“Yoongi” he interrupts. You look at him with a confused look, your brain short circuiting. “You can call me Yoongi. Also, you weren’t being rude, I was the one that caught you off guard.” He gives you a soft smile, holding out his hand to shake yours. He then introduces his manager that’s sitting off to his left. As you two finish introductions, you feel something cool press against your cheek. Grabbing the can from Becca, you thank her before you take a drink.

“Oooh! They had my favorite flavor.” Tonight may just be okay.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“How did the refs miss an obvious travel?? Like he went almost half way across the court.” It’s coming close to the end of the 2nd quarter (not period, as you were immediately corrected by both Yoongi and Becca. “Don’t mind her, she’s more of a hockey fan.” Becca leans across you to apologize, getting a smile out of him), and while you are enjoying the game, you’re also enjoying the company around you. When the three of you aren’t yelling at the refs for missing blatant calls, you would carry conversations amongst the three of you (as well as you could in a loud arena); small talk quickly turning into more personal topics. Soon, the buzzer went off; indicating the end of the quarter.

“I’m going to head to the locker room to go see my man, then grab drinks on the way back - you want another Red Bull?” Becca asks you as she’s standing up. You nod, then she heads off. At the same time, you see Yoongi’s manager leave, leaving Yoongi and yourself alone. You feel the anxiety come back to you - while you were comfortable being around Yoongi, not having Becca there to back you up was slightly intimidating. As soon as you zone out though, you’re quickly brought back by a small touch on your forearm. You look to your left to see the hand belonging to Yoongi, who was wearing a slightly concerned look. “Are you okay, y/n?”

You blink a couple times before you nod, “yes! Sorry, I tend to zone out when my anxiety gets to be a bit much.” You then let out a breath you didn’t even think you were holding.

“Is the crowd becoming a bit much for you?” He asks, hand still on your arm. You nod. He sighs, “I’m glad I’m not the only one overwhelmed.”

It’s your turn to wear the concerned look, “I’m guessing this isn’t the same as performing, is it?”

He shakes his head, “there’s a reason I’m more of a background person” he laughs nervously.

“We suffer together then?” You suggest, hating yourself again for the cringy comment. He smiles, making you feel a bit better. The announcer then comes over the arena speakers, announcing the arrival of the Laker Dancers. You both shift your attention to the dancers on the court as Mic Drop begins to play over the speakers. You see a shift in Yoongi’s demeanor, becoming more stoic, bobbing his head to the beat. When the camera spans over to him, he gives a tight smile and a wave. Once the dancers left the court, Yoongi turns back to you, going back to being relaxed. The two of you trade more conversation while waiting for the second half to start, not even noticing when Becca and his manager return to their seats.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

The game is closing in on the end of the 3rd quarter. At this point, you and Yoongi aren’t paying a lot of attention to what’s going on on the court - too engrossed in your conversation. You two were so engrossed in conversation that you didn’t even notice the play stop, what was said over the speakers or Becca calling for you.

“Y/N LOOK UP!! AT THE JUMBOTRON!!” You direct your attention to the screen above you - to see yourself.

And Yoongi.

Featured on the Kiss Cam.

He must have caught it too; because if looks could kill, most of Staples Center would be gone. Instead of getting the hint that you two weren’t happy about this, the Cam stayed focused on you two for a lot longer than necessary. Becca then reached over and grabbed your face, just to plant a big kiss on your cheek. The Cam moves on, giving some much needed relief to both you and Yoongi. Once the awkwardness of the moment had passed over, both of you turned to face each other.

“I’m so sorry!!” You both blurted out at the same time.

Yoongi throws you a confused look, “why are you sorry?”

“I feel me sitting here conversing with you in The Public Eye may look questionable to those around us - I don’t want to ruin anything for you.” You quietly confessed, looking down at your hands.

Yoongi smirks, shaking his head, “if I was so worried about that, I wouldn’t have said a word to you in the first place! Besides, I was the one that started our conversation. If anything, I’m sorry you had to be put on the spot like that. I wasn’t even aware they were gonna feature me on that - not that they had a reason to anyways.”

“Well I have a small feeling somebody is gonna lose their job today.” You looked over Yoongi’s shoulder to see his Manager in a heated conversation with Lakers Staff. He looked over to his manager, then turned back to you wearing a grimace. You both began laughing, covering your mouths with your hands as an attempt to hide it.

Sometime later, the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the game. “Do you mind waiting a bit, hun? I wanna see my man before we head out. Should only be about 15 minutes.” Becca asked, gathering her stuff. You shrug, nodding - there was no other way you would get back to her house anyways.

As she walked off, you began gathering your stuff, then turned to Yoongi. Taking a deep breath, you blurted out without thinking, “thank you for making the game a bit more enjoyable! It was really nice meeting you!” You immediately cringed at yourself, apologizing. I really need to think before I speak my dear god, you thought.

“You’re okay, y/n! I enjoyed your company too.” Yoongi gave you a small smile, causing you to smile back. There was a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you - even though the arena was still loud. “Oh! You said you were here for the weekend, are you busy tomorrow night?” Yoongi asked, breaking the silence.

“Other than I’m visiting UCLA before noon and probably going to go shopping once Becca is off work, I have nothing else planned!” Your heart began to race, you cannot believe this is happening.

“Awesome! Well we’re thinking of hitting a club downtown tomorrow evening, around 9? Would you guys want to join us? If that’s your thing, haha” Yoongi asked, looking nervous while looking for his phone.

“I would be down! Though you’d have to tell me where to go cause I no idea where that place is at.” You smile. Yoongi smiles back, looking like he let out a sigh of relief. He then hands over his phone, asking for your number.

“I’ll text you when I get back to my hotel?” He asks.

“Okay! Can you send those photos over that you took then?” You respond, Yoongi nodded in response. His manager then came back to his side, noting his departure. You two waved, sharing huge smiles. Becca soon returns to your side. “Why the big grin, hun?”

“I’ll tell you in the car!” You say, wearing a huge smile on your face, silently praying to your higher powers to not mess up this weekend.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Unknown number: Hey! It’s Yoongi! ☺️

Y/N🐙: Hey! I’m assuming you made it back to your hotel okay?

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Yes! Only had to deal with Army’s; no paps thank goodness.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Did you make it home yet?

Y/N🐙: Yes - like we just pulled up to her apartment.

Y/N🐙: Also didn’t have to deal with paps 💁🏼

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Oh thank goodness 😮‍💨

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Attachment - 2 photos

Y/N🐙: Ooh! I like those!

Y/N🐙: Attachment - 3 photos

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Ooh these ones are cute

Y/N🐙: Cute?? 👀

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Like I said, wouldn’t have talked to you if I didn’t want to - wanted to cause I think you’re cute 🤷🏼‍♀️

Y/N🐙: …🤭

Y/N🐙: That’s as good of a flirty comeback as I can conjure at the moment cause it’s past my bedtime 🥲

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: I understand - it’s past mine too. I have a mid morning photo shoot tomorrow; I’ll text you in the morning?

Y/N🐙: Works for me! 😌

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“What time are you going to the college?” Becca asked the next morning while she was feeding her dog, Vanya.

“I meet with the Head of the Post Grad Biology department at 11, so probs head out at 10. Will that be enough time for me to get there?” You asked, pulling up the subway schedules.

“It should be. But I’ve gotta go - I’ll be home around 4 and we can go shopping for outfits for tonight?” You nodded in response as your phone pinged, showing a new message. Becca leaned over to peek at your phone to see a message from Yoongi. “My dear Gods this man must like you enough to text you at 8 am on a Saturday!” She smirks as you try to hide the blush on your face.

“Get to work, loser. I’ll see you later!” You laugh as her and Vanya run out the door.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Morning! ☺️ What time are you headed to the college this morning?

Y/N🐙: Morning!! I meet with the Department Head at 11, so I’m headed out a bit before 10!

Y/N🐙: What time is your shoot?

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: It starts at 9 - thankfully I’m not having to go far cause I’m not even awake enough to order the right coffee this morning

Y/N🐙: Speaking of, I should probs make sure my route to the college includes a coffee stop. I’m still dealing with jet lag.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: You’re preaching to the choir, Y/N.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Aish, my manager is calling for me, I’ll give you a call after I’m done with the shoot!

Y/N🐙: Okay! Have fun! ☺️

After finishing breakfast, you changed into a simple pair of Khakis, a hunter green blouse and white vans. Donning a simple make up look, you completed the look with a simple ballet bun. Throwing on your AirPods, you headed out the door, making your trek towards the Subway station and hopefully some coffee.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“MIss L/N, I feel you would be an excellent addition to the Master’s Marine Bio Program! We could use a new Reseaarch Lab manager as well - plus you’d get credit for working.” You’d spent the last hour with the Department Head, him chatting your ear off. You’d grown more excited about attending; the lab job making the deal more enticing. Off hand, you’d mentioned your earlier lab work with your professor; the name immediately catching the Dept Head’s ear. “I thought I’d seen you were coming from MSUB! I had the honor of working with your Animal Bio professor years ago! Still love his research on scorpions - fascinating work.” You nod, having worked on it as your first lab project. Walking back to his office, he’d asked if there were any questions you’d had.

“Yes! I’d heard that Research Diving would be added to the curriculum - when is that happening?” You’d just finished your SCUBA certification for the subject - might as well use it.

“This next school year - right when you’d be starting if you enrolled by the end of next month!” You nodded, seriously contemplating applying. He handed you a business card, mention to email him once you had enrolled - if you choose to. You place the card in your wallet, standing to shake hands. Once you were out of his office, almost out of the building, you’d decided to check your phone. You look to see 3 messages from Yoongi, 2 from Becca and the Family Group Chat flooded with messages. Ignoring the group chat, you see that Becca is stuck working a double and won’t be able to join tonight. Internally cursing, you reply that it’s okay and you’d probably see her later tonight or in the morning. You then check the messages from Yoongi; 2 of them complaining about the shoot, and one asking if you were still at the college. You decide to call him instead.

“Hey, Y/N!” Yoongi picks up after 2 rings.

“Hey, Yoongi! I just saw your text messages; I just finished the college tour! Also, sorry about the shoot being so boring.”

“It’s no problem, but I was wondering if you’d have time to do lunch right now? I’m near the college and there’s a small restaurant nearby that I frequent anytime I’m in town.”

“Sure! I’m free for the afternoon. Can you send me the address?”

“Of course! Do you need a ride there?” You hear the text notification and check the address on Maps.

“Nah, it’s a block outside the campus - I can be there in 20 max!” Thank goodness you didn’t wear heels.

“Okay! I’ll meet you there then!” Hanging up the phone and putting your AirPods in, you began the trek to the restaurant. I’m really getting my steps in today I guess, you thought.

As you approach your destination, you pull out your phone to see if Yoongi is here yet (you’d made it in 10 minutes instead of 20), when you suddenly get a text notification from him.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: You know, that was one of my favorite songs to perform live - wish we could’ve performed it more than once.

Y/N🐙: …wut

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: UGH! It’s one of my favorites.

Yoongi🐈‍⬛: Also, it’s not good to listen to your music that loud.

Y/N🐙: …you’re scaring me

You feel a tap on your shoulder, so you quickly spin around and nearly give the perp, Yoongi, The Elbow. Pulling out one of your headphones, you shout “DONT DO THAAAAAT YOU SCARED ME!” wearing a frightened look. Yoongi was wearing a mischievous smile in return, which then made you glare at him.

He laughs, “I am so sorry - I just saw an open opportunity and took it!”

“I could’ve hurt you though!!”

“I don’t think you would’ve cause that much damage - now follow me!” He quickly changes the subject and you follow him into the restaurant, which happened to be Tradtional Korean. The older lady at the host stand looked up and her face lit up as soon as she saw Yoongi.

“Yoongi!! It’s been a while! How are you doing??” Yoongi bows to her, you follow in respect.

“Hae Won-nim, hello! It has been a while! Everything is going well! You have room for two more in here?” Yoongi jokes, looking around the crowded restaurant. Hae Won chuckles, giving the two of you a huge smile.

“Of course I do! I’ll have you and your friend follow me this way.” She then glanced over at you, putting emphasis on the word ‘friend’. Following the two, you decided not to put too much thought into it. Once sitting and handed menus, Yoongi helped you order (you asked him if there was something not too spicy; or at least milk to help with the spiciness), then filed you in on how the shoot went. You updated him on your decision for college; having chosen to apply to UCLA. When the meals came out, a comfortable silence enveloped the two of you; even with a busy restaurant.

“Ooooh Becca is gonna LOVE this for her after work meal! Thank you again, Yoongi.” You beam, happily full from lunch. Yoongi and you are wandering around the neighborhood, still in-depth with the conversation you were having at lunch. As you were meandering, you’d passed by a Record Shop - Yoongi insisted you both stop in. Which it’s a good thing you did - you were able to finally get your hands on some B-Side 7-inches from Slipknot and Foo Fighters.

“I’m taking it you’re a vinyl collector?” Yoongi inquires, chuckling as you dove head first into the vinyl section.

“…yes. It’s a soft spot of mine. My ex used to complain about how many I had, so I stopped buying any for a while. Now that I don’t have to worry about his opinion, I’m going a bit crazy with it. Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do.” Fishing out your vinyl list on your phone, you show it to him.

“You were not joking. But no BTS?” Yoongi looks in surprise.

“I already have what’s available on vinyl. But it’d be cool if you’d release Map of the Soul 7. And maybe Young Forever?” Tilting your head to the side, you smile and wiggle your eyebrows.

“…I’ll see what I can do.” Yoongi repsonds, smirking as he shakes his head.

After letting time slip from the both of you, Yoongi walks you back to the subway station. “Are you still on for tonight?” He asks as you reach the station.

“Yes! Though Becca won’t be joining - apparently she’s stuck working.” You sigh.

“That’s too bad - but I’m happy you can still join. I’ll have a driver come pick you up from her place at 9 - I’ll need you to send me the address.” You nod, sending it over to him.

“Well, I had fun, Yoongi. Thank you again for lunch - and the vinyls! I’ll see you tonight!” You open your arms to hug him, and thankfully he did the same. After holding each other for what feels like forever, you both let go. You look down at his lips,he does the same. Just as the both of you were moving in closer, the subway is pulling up, screeching to a halt. The announcer calls for your destination over the intercom, signaling its your time to leave. Sighing, you gather your stuff and head for the open doors. Before you board on, you turn to Yoongi, waving and yelling “I’ll see you tonight!!”, almost tripping as you enter the car. Yoongi giggles, shaking his head with a smile.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

“I need to see your ID, please”, the bouncer outside the door asks. You hand him your ID, noting to him that you’re supposed to meet somebody in the VIP area. Checking his list and your name, he confirms you, letting you in. “He’s in the third booth on the left, just so you know.” You thank him as you head up the stairs. You immediately notice Yoongi within the crowd; he must have been watching the door. You immediately rush over to him, being enveloped in a bear hug before you can say anything.

“Hey, Y/N! I was just about to grab drinks - come with me!” Yoongi weaves his arm through yours, pulling you towards the bar. Once up to the bar, he ordered a neat whiskey for himself and a blueberry Red Bull for you. “This outfit is a 180 from this afternoon!” He points out, giving your outfit a once over. You’d ditched the khaki outfit for a pleather mini skirt, black bralette, mesh top, fishnets and Dr. Martens.

“Well I wanted to go with something more…comfortable.” You smirk, moving closer to Yoongi.

“Well, I think this outfit looks amazing on you.” He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You blush, biting your lower lip and look away. It’s Yoongi’s turn to smirk, passing you your drink. He offers his hand, which you take, and leads you over to the booth; where you’re introduced to some of his friends.

“So, did you want to go dance?” Yoongi asked, tilting his head towards the dance floor. You nod, following him out. Once you two are towards the center of the floor, Yoongi grabs your waist from behind, pulling you into his chest. As you two start dancing, all you can hear is the music and Yoongi’s soft, deep voice. One song turns into a few; simple dancing turns into sensual grinding. Yoongi is leaving small kisses and nips on the back of your neck; each one shooting sensations down to your core. You reach back, looping your arms around his neck as he pulls you flush with his front. You can feel his hard on, so you begin to tease him more, eliciting a low growl from him.

As another song ends, he pulls you back to the booth and before you can even try to sit next to him, he pulls you into his lap; your back to his chest and legs hooked around his. The implied dominance turns you on even more. As he is talking to his buddies, his gorgeous hands sit on your thighs, playing with the strings of the fish nets. While you nonchalantly carry on conversation with those around you, you shifted in his lap, eliciting another low growl. His hands begin to go higher up your legs, almost under the mini skirt. You look over your shoulder to try and catch his eye - he’s enveloped in a conversation next to you. You ‘readjust’ in his lap again, trying to catch his attention - he moves one hand dangerously close to your core. You sharply inhale, trying to pull your skirt hem down a bit. You feel Yoongi’s lips on the tip of your ear, “you best behave, baby.” Your face and ears feel like they’re on fire - his fingers brushing over your bare folds, making you inhale sharply again. He stops his movement, pulling his hand from you skirt. “Let’s go dance again.” He pulls you from his lap, then grabs your hand, dragging you across the dance floor before you can even register what’s going on.

On the other side of the dance floor, in a dark corner, sat a couple private rooms. Yoongi opened a door, made sure nobody was in there, then pulled you in. He slammed the door shut, then pinned you against the door with your hands over your head. With the hand on your thigh, he pushes your skirt up, resting his hand on your hip. He leans close to your ear again, speaking in a deep voice that made you even more wet. “First, you come here looking irresistible” his hand moves to your core. “Secondly, you feel the need to tease me” he finger slides along your slit, eliciting a small moan from you. “And the final strike, you’re not wearing panties?” He beings to play with your clit before inserting a finger into your pussy. “Y/N, I thought you were a good girl?” A second finger joins, causing you to moan even louder.

Gathering yourself for a moment, you look up at Yoongi. “I AM a good girl! Most of the time.” You smirked. Yoongi stopped his ministrations, pulling his fingers from you. The two of you lock eyes and Yoongi grabs your face, hungrily kissing you while pinning your body with his to the door. Letting out a moan, he takes the chance to explore your mouth with his tongue. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you grab his hair at the nape and slightly pull, causing him to growl and bite your bottom lip. He begins to kiss your jaw line, making his way down your neck and finally making purchase at the junction of your neck and collar bone. He sucks a mark there, drawing another moan from you. “I honestly don’t think I could ever get tired of that sound” Yoongi begins to kneel, propping a leg on his shoulder. “Now, let’s hear how you sound when I do this-“ licking a strip from the bottom of your slit to your clit, causing you to moan out his name. “Fuck, baby; you sound AND taste AMAZING.” Yoongi moans against your clit, causing you to moan as well. He dove in, lapping at your hole like a starved man. He soon moved his tongue up to your clit, inserting two fingers into your hole. You started feeling your core tightening when he found your sensitive spot, your hand immediately grabbing onto his hair.

“F-f-fuuuck, Yoongi. I’m close!” Your thighs begin to tremble, causing him to hook your other leg over his shoulder. He inserted a third finger into you, eliciting his name from your lips again.

“Baby, cum for me; let me have a taste.” As if you were a puppet under his control, your orgasm washed over you while Yoongi lapped up your cum from your pussy, not letting a drop go to waste. He kept lapping at you after you came down, causing you to pull him away due to overstimulation. Yoongi then adjusts your mini skirt, standing to meet your slightly fucked out gaze with his own. He then gently cradled your chin, kissing you softly. Breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours, releasing a deep, but content, sigh. “Would you like to continue this at my hotel room?” His eyes felt like they were looking into your soul at this point; but you couldn’t look away either. With a big smile and a glint in your eye, you say in a small voice:

“Yes. Please.”

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

The hotel room door isn’t even fully shut before you two were all over one another, a trail of clothing following the two of you while making your way to the bedroom. Once fully stripped, Yoongi lifted you under your thighs and placed you on the bed. As he hovered over you, he gazed down at your figure - your hair fanned over the pillow, eyes dilated and bottom lip bitten. To him, you were the most beautiful thing on earth. He leaned down, placing a chaste kiss on your lips, “baby, I don’t think I have condoms with me, I cou-“

You quickly interrupted him, “as long as you’re clean, I’m good. Had my check up a couple weeks ago and I’m in the clear, plus haven’t hooked up with anybody since my ex. Also, am on the pill religiously, so if you’re good to go, so am I.”

Yoongi looks at you with his signature gummy smile, “fuck, baby.” His lips find your sensitive spot on your neck immediately, sucking another mark there. His hands glide south gently along your curves, then onto your inner thighs, touching just enough to send sparks up your spine and to your pussy. As his fingers lightly touch your folds, his mouth begins to move to your chest, capturing a nipple with it. He then plunges two fingers into you, “still so wet for me, baby.”

“Yoongi, fuuuuck”, still slightly sensitive from the orgasm before, you feel yourself coming to the edge a bit quicker than usual. He moves from one nipple to the other, using his fingers to scissor you pussy wider. “I’m gonna cu-“ Yoongi then pulled his fingers out, leaving you on edge. Your eyes grew big and you let out a strained whine, completely astonished at what he just pulled.

“I want you to cum on my cock, can you be a good girl and do that for me?” He asks as he sticks his fingers into your mouth, having you taste yourself. You nod, then he pulls his fingers from your mouth, pumping his thick cock before he slid the tip along your pussy lips a couple times to collect some of your arousal. He wraps your legs around his waist, then began to slowly enter you. He leaned over to trap your lips and the loud moan that they would inevitably release as he filled you to the hilt.

“Fuuuuck, I already feel so full”, you moan out. Yoongi’s cock was probably the biggest you’d taken, the stretch causing a little pain, but it was immediately blocked by the immense pleasure. Just from him entering you, you already felt you were gonna cum.

“Ahhh, Y/N baby, I can already feel you clenching around me. You gonna cum already?” Thrust. “My cock feel that good, baby?” Thrust. “You even look fucked out already, can’t even answer me!” Thrust. “Cum for me, baby - now.” You then let go on command, feeling your core unravel as Yoongi continued to thrust through your comedown. He then took your legs up, pushing the back of your thighs to bring your legs down to your chest - putting you in a mating press.

As he began to pump into you again, you looked down at where you two connected. “Oh my god, right there, Yoongi. FUCK.” He was hitting that spot again, better than last time. Your brain was starting to turn cock-drunk; all you could think of was the pure pleasure Yoongi was giving you as you looked down again.

“Ohhh, you like seeing my cock split this pretty pussy, don’t you? This. Pretty. Pussy. Feels. Amazing. Like. It’s. MADE. For. Me.” He punctuated each word with a thrust, his hands pushing your legs wider so he could see more of you. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m getting close. Gonna fill this pretty pussy full of me - gonna make it mine.” He brought a thumb to you clit, drawing figure eights to bring you to his level again. You were a bumbling mess; not even able to form words or thoughts as you were getting close. Just as your orgasm hit for the third time tonight, your clenching triggered his release, painting your walls white. After a couple thrusts to get out all the semen, Yoongi then collapsed on top of you, still inside. Both of you took a moment to catch your breath, staring deep into each other. Yoongi smiled, kissing your nose, then bringing his forehead to yours. “You okay, babe?” You smile and nodded, still feeling slightly fuzzy. As he softened, he pulled out, watching some of your mixed cum leak out. Letting out a content sigh, he stood up, picking you up bridal style. “Come on - let’s get cleaned up.”

Once out of the shower; which included you being fucked on the wall from behind (his excuse: Not my fault all of you is irresistible). You got dressed in one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers, then went to grab water as he got dressed as well. As you hand him his water, Yoongi notices a glint of a worried look on your face. Putting a finger under your chin to have you make eye contact, he asks, “penny for your thoughts?” You sigh, contemplating just saying no. But you couldn’t, as it immediately bugged you.

“Do I need to have Becca pick me up? And if so, do you want her to do it soon or earlier in the morning? I mean I don’t want to cause any dra-“ Yoongi pulls you into an intense kiss, shutting you up immediately.

“Y/N, baby, you worry too much. I want you to stay the night and I’ll take you back tomorrow when we both feel like it. Maybe we’ll get brunch first or something like that. I would like to get as much time with you as I can before I leave.” You left as though a weight was off your shoulders as you smile at him. After finishing your waters, you both head to bed, lying on Yoongi’s chest. His steady heartbeat, breathing and his fingers combing your hair helped you fall asleep. Yoongi then softly cradled your cheek, placing a kiss on your head. I hope to be able to see you again, baby, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Waking up the next morning, you and Yoongi decide to go to a small cafe a couple blocks from his hotel. After orders are placed and juices are brought to the table, he grabs your hands with his. You look up at him and he asks, “So since you’re going to UCLA, when are you moving here?”

“I will probably move here next month, depending on when the apartment next to Becca’s is ready to go. Why?”

“Well, somebody has to help you move - that somebody being me.” he kissed your knuckles.

——————————

A/N pt 2: This legit was sitting in my drafts for almost a month because writing the not smut part was harder than it needed to be 🥴

#yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts suga #suga x y/n #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic

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quibbs126 · 2 months

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So instead of more stylized Cookies, I drew that cacaolily redo yesterday (I just forgot about posting)

Anyways, so this is Night Rider. She’s replacing my old cacaolily kid, Snowdrop, because I thought I could do better (and frankly, Snowdrop didn’t have a personality outside of being a White Lily clone). So Snowdrop doesn’t exist anymore, and Night Rider replaces her

In any case, let’s get on to Night Rider herself

So basically, Night Rider here goes around Earthbread, seeking out and learning secret, ancient or forbidden knowledge/magic. She ultimately has good intentions in her research, she probably started by trying to look for a way to ultimately stop the Licorice Sea, or maybe to revive Pure Vanilla, but she can get carried away with her research and not think about the consequences of it (which I sort of tried to imply with the sketch, she’s trying to bring the Soul Jam to its fullest potential, but in the process awakening the Beasts). She’s been doing this for several decades and she really only visits her home sparingly; she’s gained a really poor sense of time and always thinks it’s been less time than it actually has

Outside of that, she’s a very cranky and antisocial person. Her decades of mostly isolated research have led her to view other Cookies as either not being able to appreciate the knowledge she yearns for, or that they ask dumb questions about her research. She respects and tolerates her father and the other Ancients (her mother disappeared when she was young, so she doesn’t really have a connection to her or opinions about her), even if she thinks they can fall into those categories. She can actually like people, and she can act like a decent person around them (or if she has to), but it’s pretty rare. She probably wasn’t always like this, it’s just something she built up over the years

Her research means she’s probably way ahead of all the other characters on the plot, like she’s known about the Beasts and faeries for years, but due to her general isolation and always looking for new knowledge, she’s woefully unknowing (that’s not the right word) of what’s going on in Earthbread right now. Like she doesn’t know Pure Vanilla’s back, her mother’s connection to Dark Enchantress, or even that her brother was banished in the first place

She likes her father well enough, she was mostly raised by him and she respects him, even if they value different things. She doesn’t see him as much due to her research, but she doesn’t see it as meaning she has any less connection to him. As said prior, since White Lily disappeared when she would have been young, she doesn’t really know her mother and isn’t sure what to think of her (though if she’s been to Faeriewood, she would have chosen to avoid White Lily’s coffin). Due to her nature of spending so much time away from home, she and Dark Choco barely know each other, but she thinks he’s fine enough. She thinks he’s just following in their father’s footsteps and being a good swordsman and prince back home, nothing out of the ordinary to note. She probably would have a reaction to knowing this isn’t the case

I’m also thinking she uses some sort of shadow magic, in part because of her research (and also because of her name)

I do kind of want to draw a younger version of Night Rider as well, before she started on her endless search for knowledge, since back then she was probably more normal

Can you tell I’ve thought way too much about her? Because I have

Anyways, let’s get on to other stuff

The name Night Rider comes from the night rider lily, since it’s a black flower

Night rider:

So if you can tell, she doesn’t look too much like her concept sketch. That’s because originally when I was making that, she was supposed to be a guy who was a knight that lived out in nature, or something like that. The original Night Rider concept was completely different. But then when I was listening to Unleash the Magic yesterday, it got me inspired to make this new version of Night Rider. If I ever bring that concept back, it’d probably be like her twin brother or something

Anyways, so I made her hair have gradients instead of streaks because I thought it worked better with her colors of red and black. Also Dark Choco sort of has that. Speaking of the red, it’s supposed to be because of the flower, even if the red doesn’t necessarily fit in with the rest of the family’s color scheme

Speaking of colors, my roommate told me she might have too many colors, which is honestly fair. She’s got black, red, purple and green in her design. It was originally going to be black red and purple, but then I wanted a pop of another color for her bag, so I added in the green. Maybe I’ll go back and tweak her colors more. If this becomes no longer applicable to her design, know that I changed it

I realize that her outfit may look a bit odd, as like some sort of bodysuit or whatever, but it was kind of just what came to my head. Maybe it’s some sort of special suit she got during her travels

Her design is probably simplistic, but it’s not necessarily bad. But I may want to tweak it a bit later on, we’ll see

But yeah, that’s Night Rider, hope you like her

#speaking of stylized cookies I kind of want to make the fankids in the stylized way as well #I specifically want to draw Night Rider and Vanilla Lily together #since they’ve got some issues and they’re both Lily kids #I just need an elderlily kid with issues to complete the trio #anyways #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #fankid #fanchild #dark cacao cookie #white lily cookie #cacaolily #cookie run oc #night rider cookie #snowdrop cookie #my ocs #my art

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hillbillyoracle · 2 years

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Fuck Goals, Fuck Vision Boards

Task Management for Planning Averse

AKA Even People with Zero Direction in Life Deserve Nice Things

So if you don’t already follow Dana K. White on YouTube, you should. She’s the author of the blog A Slob Comes Clean and several books. What I’m going to talk about below is heavily inspired by her work which is why I wanted to cite her upfront but also seriously go check her videos out if you’re trying to declutter and get organized.

Right now I’m mostly using her videos and it’s genuinely the only decluttering method that has ever worked for me. And one of the reasons it works for me where others haven’t is that it is a system that doesn’t rely on feelings or valuation.

I realized that as I’ve gotten better at task management in my life - though lord knows the move has made that more complicated - I realized that not using feelings or judgement based questions is what really helped me. I also realized that I had 100% completely given up on goals. I had neglected to set goals for a couple years now and weirdly I got more productive, not less. What gives?

Step 0: Give Up on Goals and the Fantasy Self

What I realized is that goals were really just a product of what a lot of decluttering folks call my “fantasy self”. My fantasy self woke up at 5am and did little work out videos but trying to leap to become that fantasy self fucking sucked. It was not enjoyable once the novelty wore off and it largely didn’t present enough benefit to justify doing it.

Which meant I would stop and then I would feel bad about myself and I’d pick up bad habits to cope with the feeling and then I was worse off than before.

So when I stopped setting goals, I stopped declining at least because there wasn’t that rebound effect where I self soothed using way too much ice cream and binge watching whatever I could find. I hit a baseline that wasn’t amazing but the stability was helpful. Only when I gave up on the fantasy life did my actual life get better.

Capitalism loves the fantasy self. People spend so much money to try to become their fantasy self and often don’t even benefit that much from it. Then the guilt of seeing that stuff around can lead folks to by more stuff to cope with the guilt. The only people winning are the companies who you buy from.

Also, folks with executive dysfunction have a very hard time picturing what done looks like. So trying to picture your “ideal day” is low key a nightmare experience for someone like me. Mission Statements can be real intimidating when you’re not totally sure what those words will mean for the decisions you make. Vision boards...I’m sorry I know some folks love them but I really do not enjoy them. They’re a sensory overload of an experience to me from the crafting to taking them in. I’ve never made a vision board that really did much for me.

I’ve also recently learned about The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin and I am definitely a Rebel. So too much pressure internal or external and I will find the quickest exit possible. Rebels are a small but sizeable portion of folks according to the authors research. Which means there are likely other people out there who also find goals to be way too much fucking pressure.

This is all to say - fuck goals. But you’ve still got a life to live so how do you move the needle in the positive direction?

Step 1: Initial Brain Dump

People would always tell me to brain dump but never really explained how. They were like “Yeah just get all this stuff in your head out on paper” and I’m like...I don’t even know what’s in my head unless I go looking for it.

So I offer you two questions and two methods of gathering answers.

When trying to brain dump, ask yourself:

What do I spend a lot of time thinking about?

What are the specific tasks associated with these subjects?

If you can’t think of next specific tasks associated with those subjects, it does necessarily mean you need to strike it off you list, it’ll just be a little tougher to know where it fits.

Sometimes I’m able to sit down and answer these questions all in one go. And sometimes it’s much easier to keep a running list in my phone and when I realize I’ve been thinking a lot about something I add it to the list. Then later I can sit down and come up with specific tasks or process it in step 2.

Step 2: Task Punnett

In step 2 I look at my list and ask myself two questions:

Do I already spend time doing this?

Will I face a negative result if I don’t do this?

This gives four categories a list item can be sorted into.

Yes/Yes

The goal here is to prevent burnout so you don’t stop spending time doing these. Common ones are cooking, cleaning, or seeing friends. So it’s important to look at each of these and make sure they’re as easy and enjoyable as possible.

It also helps to know what your minimum is for each so that if you’re burning out you can scale back to your minimum effective dose is that allows you to avoid the material harm but give you a break - like getting take out or having freezer meals on hand, knowing what the most important cleaning tasks are and only doing those, and at least sending texts or voice memos to friends to connect.

Yes/No

The goal here is to protect this time as much as possible. It’s what tends to go when Yes/Yes and No/Yes tasks start to get out of hand. That will look different for different people but it almost always involves capping Yes/Yes and No/Yes time and not allowing yourself to go over. As you might have guess most hobbies go here.

Some people will need other people to help encourage them to keep doing it. Some people will need flexibility so it feels like they’re truly choosing it. Some people will need to refresh their memory that these kinds of activities are just as necessary as other types of tasks.

Guilt and shame is a big one that keeps people from having many things going in this box but it can also be a lack of self knowledge too. We’re not exactly encouraged to explore what we truly deeply love. Mental illness can also make this box tricky as anhedonia can make everything feel bleh.

In all of these cases, I really suggest making some sort of reflective practice something you try to keep in this box so you can notice what triggers guilt, what sparks joy, and what just isn’t working after a while. Doesn’t have to be journaling in the traditional sense. I used to turn on my computer cam and just talk but now that I need more audio privacy, this has been really helping me.

No/Yes

I fucking hate this box in all honesty. It’s the one that drains me and makes me feel like shit to look at this list but also I feel the most badass when I actually complete something off of it.

The goal with this box is to figure out what’s blocking you from this being a Yes/Yes. Basically finish the sentence “I don’t really want to do this because...” and you’re on your way. Most barriers can be dealt with. I used to not believe this but I promise it’s true.

This is where having a therapist, good friend, or community where you can bounce ideas off of can really make all the difference. A reflection practice can also really help get a different perspective too. Sometimes the barriers loom so large in our mind that adaptation seems ridiculous or impossible. Take advantage of different perspectives.

Automation, delegation, and congregation (body double or a group) are incredibly useful tools here. Don’t do more here than you need to.

What’s key in the second question for this section is that this is something you have the power to impact the outcome of. If you don’t have the power to change the outcome or you’ve done all you can, then the task is bracing, mitigating, and accepting, not dealing with the topic/task head on.

No/No

There are 2 main things I find in this category - shit I agreed to because I felt obligated and someday maybe projects. For shit I agreed to, the only remedy is to just get out of it, to bail in the most graceful way possible. I also try to prevent stuff from winding up here to begin with (no more event planning for me for a while).

For someday maybe projects, I like to keep a space - usually Notion - where I can collect my thoughts on it, projects, and pain a picture of what it would take to make it a Yes/No task someday in the future - always keeping in mind what I could do with the materials and time I have available right now. I’ve picked a quite a few of my No/No tasks this way and made them things I do regularly because I left myself those breadcrumbs for later.

Step 3: Prioritizing without Feelings

So now you have your tasks organized into these buckets and know what to keep in mind with each. So...what do you do with them?

A lot of people will tell you to prioritize and do the hardest first while your willpower is strong but I say fuck that my willpower is never strong so we’re going to do easiest first to build up some confidence.

No/No - For obligations that no longer serve me, I bail. For someday maybe projects, I write up some quick notes in my little system in Notion.

Yes/No - gather and prep materials, block out time, ask someone to do it with you or find a group if needed

Yes/Yes - gather and prep materials, if burning out, switch to minimum viable

No/Yes - figure out the barriers, automate, delegate, congregate, list next steps

Stuck Tasks - Too much to go into here but this video is helpful.

Sometimes I bounce around a bit - dealing with a Yes/Yes task will suddenly give me the guts to deal with a stuck task, getting out of a No/No obligation will make a No/Yes task look easier. So I don’t limit myself to this. But when I’m having trouble I go back to the list and just trust.

If I have avoided doing a No/Yes task for anywhere from several days to several weeks - it’s official a stuck task and I bounce it there while I work through other No/Yes tasks to deal with later.

Sometimes time pressures will dictate that things need to be handled before others - that’s fine. But usually a crunch will either show you that you will not in fact face a negative consequence after all or give you a motivation boost to carry you through some of the difficult tasks.

Step 4: Doing it again

So when do you do it again?

I do my brain dumps on Sundays and sort them into area of life lists so I can work on them by theme or focus but honestly whenever. When I was really in the throws of some bad mood shit I’d only do it every few weeks or so. Any amount of doing this generally had lead to a better life though.

What about stuff I’m not thinking a lot about?

That usually means either you’ve got such a good system for it that it’s running on autopilot so why mess with success, the possible reward is not appealing enough, or the possible consequences don’t freak you out enough.

This isn’t really a system I use for creating like...a good life by a neurotypical standard. It’s what I use to manage the stress, concern, and daydreams I’m having right now, to get things off of my plate and grow my confidence.

So will this mean everything gets managed? No. But it does mean the stuff most likely to keep you up at night does. Which is a huge fucking boon.

Conclusion

There’s some more intricacies in this too like moving No/No projects to Yes/No and No/Yes projects to Yes/Yes - it’s not the same strategies in my experience - but this is already running long.

Hope this helps someone else out too!

#studyblr #adhd #autism #planning #fuck goals

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absolutebl · 9 months

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Wedding Plan Trash Watch!

You ready to snuffle-kiss the burn?

Before I start...

Find out about Mame and the Mameverse here.

Find my other trash watches of her and others here.

We all know what we are getting in for, 7 episodes of BLduggery. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

Episode 1 - In which I craft an ode to Dumpster Fires Everywhere

I am sorry, but they opened with Battle Hymn of the Republic for PrapaiSky’s wedding? I busted out laughing.

Also, you KNOW I can’t just let that go.

Ready?

LET’S SING! (Bet you’d never thought I’d type those words).

Battle Hymn of BL Tumblr

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the trash This is barely even BL it’s just Mame writing slash She hath set ablaze such garbage in pursuit of all our cash But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Mame hit us with a sewer. Spoiling all our fun, Oh the shit storm has begun, But the trash watch must go on!

I have seen the dumpster-fires of a hundred BL tropes She will sacrifice her ukes ’til they’ve lost all of their hopes We will watch in righteous anger while the refuse burns and smokes But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Life’s rough for a BL reviewer. When OG BL fans run afoul of Mame stans But the trash watch must go on!

Buh buh buh buh!

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here for the next 7 weeks. Yes some of my rhyming conventions are awkward af but I never claimed to be a filker. Now where was I?

Oh YES,

STILL AT THE VERY BEGINNING.

Where have I seen this seme before? Oh! Top Secret Together.

Micky D sponsorship? Nice. I’m impressed.

Too many sound effects, abort! Is that the sound tech from Lovely Writer I sniff? Someone please fire his ass. Yes, it must be him. Only a straight dude misuses buttons like that.

I feel Nuea’s pain I too hate the gym.

This better not be in one of those situations where after instalove our seme arranges for the wedding planner boy he likes to plan his own wedding so that he can marry him at the end.

Lots of pronouns going astray in that sentence, but you get my meaning.

Drag baby around. Locker room. Kabeldon

Honestly? And this is not usually a criticism I lob at Mame ( I know is there anything I have lobbed at her?) but the leads seem a bit stiff and uninspired.

It is just me?

Episode 2 - What’s this? Oh is that boredom?

What are these boys in these office BLs doing behind their desks on those computers? They never actually seem to be working at all. They’re like brochure stock art ads for boys on computers.

I had to skip most of the humiliating stuff with the food in the car and whatever was going on because… aargh.

They keep ordering food in this episode of nobody’s eating it. And it looks really good and I’m hungry and this is very upsetting to me.

Lom is just totally jerking Nuea around. Just tell him what your relationship is with the bride.

There’s no need to be so fucking coy about it.

I love the flaming yelling fit from Nuea tho.

It was also a good kiss.

But that’s what we expect from a Mame.

Mame giveth and mame taketh away.

Somewhat dull episode frankly. Even with the kiss.

Sigh. What have I become?

Episode 3 - WHAT IS THIS? There is nothing about this episode that pleased me even a tiny bit. Except Noel’s hair. But that wasn’t part of the script.

Buckle up, I got A LOT to say.

It’s a pleasure to welcome you back to your normal and expected ABL meets Mame interface where... ABL LOSES THEIR TINY MIND.

Right on schedule it feels like.

Ready?

Oh who am I kidding, you sadists life for this shizz. And you can’t tell me you don’t.

Lom is so frustrating.

I wanna punch him too. Sing it, sister!

Random water sports. (And not of the kind one might expect from Mame. Stop it. You know she would go there. She’d think it was edgy.)

Peeps!

We need a name for when a BL reviews itself.

It keeps happening.

Should you tell him everything?

Yes.

1000 times yes.

I’m basically screaming it at the screen.

TELL HIM!!!!

You tricked him into a date without telling him a single thing about what’s actually going on. Are you insane?

What the hell.

You keep kissing him but he is planning your wedding. How fucked up are you? You monster

A Mame show calling out its own exploitive sexism is so fucking awkward.

Mame. Sweetheart. Snookums. Sugarbeans. Shaken-baccon. You don’t have enough fucking talent to go meta. Leave it to the better BLs to follow trends. Your shizz is old fashioned and that’s why people like it. Don’t try to be classy, it makes this whole shit show just look even more shabby.

Poor baby.

Now he’s doubting himself completely.

What are these assholes doing to you?

Come with me.

I’m going to transport you to this other terrible BL trash watch happening right now, where there is a LOVELY adorable boy named Max and I think you would be perfect together.

So it’s basically just Narnia-level closet cases we are dealing with here?

THAT’S IT?

THAT’S THE EXCUSE FOR THIS LEVEL OF MANIPULATION?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Nuea is such a cutie.

I want to punch Lom all over again.

Noel looks v pretty as a blond.

The proposal sequence was unnecessary. But at least I don’t wanna punch anyone.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE for lying. For manipulation. For not understanding how you’re betraying another person’s faith in himself.

Especially not if you’re in the position of power: social, cultural, employer.

Why doesn’t Mame EVER understand this?

You can’t have a character that is sincere and earnest in love and yet entirely lacking in all forms of integrity.

This is driving me crazy.

No one is in the show is as crazy as this show is making me.

I started this episode wanting to punch Lom, and I’m ending this episode wanting to punch Lom.

That’s a mame plot for ya.

No character development at all, on any side of the screen.

And someone, mostly me, is always left with a mad desire to punch something.

Frankly, I kinda want to punch the screen.

Episode 4 - I Am Going to Start Drinking

I like consent especially when “no” is activated. But this being Mame she shoe horns it in and then the seme ignores it.

It’s so awkward. She’s actually incapable of making any non-problematic tropes sexy. It’s like there is only one lane for her shows and that lane is...

the WORST

My “Punch Lom in the face 2023” campaign continues.

I don’t see how he can ever become a sympathetic character. He just trundles along lying by omission (when speaking up would make everything better). I hate him.

I’m glad we get to see Nuea suffering, now show Lom what he has done and make him lose the boy.

No? No.

Instead Lom gets rewarded with sex for being a sleazy lying gutless jerk? Well terds to both you fine gentlemen.

I mean, very gay of you, Nuea sweetie.

“Because just SOOOO hot” being the #1 excuse in my personal “I slept with WHAT?” experience. (Heh, to be fair I’m often the WHAT? in that equation. I live to be someone’s bad mistake... just not Lom-level-bad.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Gaga has the sex scene. FYI. Came outta nowhere, that sex scene did. Very disjointed... not that kind of joint. Not that kind either.

It’s not a particularly impressive sex scene, which is disappointing. Because WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE WATCHING?

I mean, if you’re going to have your characters (and by extension us) forfeit all integrity and taste in order to watch your stupid show, the least you could do is give us decent chemistry.

I’m not saying this is worse than LITA but at least LITA was hot.

It wasn’t anything else. But it was hot.

This this is

not hot.

In conclusion: if Nuea’s baby bro doesnt’t punch Lom in the face next week I will have to start drinking on Weds...

oh wait!

BMF ends this Friday! I can switch to drinking mid week!

YES

(I have a new rule: only one BL a week is allowed to drive me to drink in any give rotation.)

Imma preemptively point out that I am aware that bearding and lavender marriages are still quite common all over the world. I would whole heartedly support a good depiction of it. (Even one where it stays fix in the beard position.) This is NOT a good depiction.

I shall draw your attention to 2017′s rarely discussed (not really BL) We Are Gamily out of... you guessed it... Taiwan. You can argue with me about this only AFTER you have watched that.

Okay, back to the trash watch.

Episode 5 - I Neglected to Drink and that was a Mistake

Ate a lot of crap traveling home today (feel gross) + tumblr new desktop UX has me pissed + Mame & alcohol? I’m not sure I’d survive. So no alcohol.

Here we go.

Poor Nuea feels so guilty.

Please save me from ever feeling that way after sex. *shudder*

Before you ask, to the best of my knowledge, I have never slept with a married person. I’ve slept with married people... married to each other mind you... but I hope that makes it clear everyone was consensual. (I recommend it, by the way. Being a unicorn is lots of fun.)

Where was i?

We were dealing with punching Lom not my misspent youth.

(looks at calendar. wait, that was last month.)

PUNCH LOM 2023!

Queen!

I love her.

It wasn’t a physical punch but a verbal one is almost as good. (And can be more damaging in the long run.)

Could we please still have an actual punch?

Pretty please?

Mame punches her characters all the time. And no character ever deserved a punching more than Lom.

I do wish there was a nice boy back home to scoop Nuea up.

That line of boys wanting him, could we see it, not be told it?

I do like the random sinshine hyung side couple.

Omg. COLD MICKY D?!

That might just be the most objectionable moment in this whole show.

And that’s a tall order.

Pun intended.

(straight, HA! pun not intended but still very much THERE)

Was I pleased we got multiple characters who are just outright gay? Yes.

But representation has not been one of Mame’s issues.

I mean Tharn was one of the first openly gay seme leads in a Thai BL, and she also had rep for lube and condoms in that show. That’s not the issue with TharnType. Or Mame.

Her issues tend to revolve around story structure and audience manipulation.

Was I pleased that Nuea knew what was going on? Yes, I’m glad he’s not totally clueless.

I still want Lom to be punched in the face and I’m still mad at this show.

Episode 6 - Too hot to drink, still a Mistake

I finally figured out my real problem with Lom. It’s not that he was closeted and manipulative without good reason (although he is). It’s not that he lied and strung Nuea along for a lot longer than was necessary (because he did). It is that he basically does everything for himself and his own ends. Even when he’s confessing his love it comes off as flat because it isn’t about Nuea and what Nuea wants or needs, it’s about Lom wants.

Hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make it right.

It was good bridge kiss. And car kiss. And sex kisses.

There is something corrupted grunge romantic asking the person you love most in the world to hide that love and climb back into the closet with you for the sake of your nasty arse family (is that a queer taboo, hum). I’m not saying lavender marriages are necessarily wrong, I’m just saying it’s an interesting plot twist in a BL.

I think we HAVE to hold this up and examine it in stark contrast to the final ep of Bad Buddy. It’s interesting how the closet retreat didn’t bother me at all in BB, and I thought it was quite a clever and elegant ending twist. Whereas here it’s just annoying. It’s not making me as angry as it probably should. But it is annoying as a narrative conceit and denouement.

Can I ask a question.

It’s not a serious question, of course.

What is up with all of the shows this year having dates on lakes featuring that thing where you ride a funny little floaty-boat while being dragged behind a fast boat. I’m sure it has a name, but I could not care less. New sponsor?

The sex scene was fine. But I have to say, I wish they had leaned into the fact that Lom is a virgin and Nuea has more experience. It would’ve been a really interesting dynamic to see honestly represented on screen.

In conclusion, Nuea is a saint and next week everything comes to a head that didn’t already get head this episode.

Episode 7 - Finally I’m drinking!

I am having a tiki beverage this evening to round out this show. Coconut rum and mango popping Boba are involved. Don’t judge. I have the alcohol palate of a 7 year old.

I’m ready! Let’s shave this beard!

And, well, that was a pink saturated drama of the mothers in law. Enjoyable lakorn style scenery chewing. The ladies seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Lom pretending to be sad and pitiful. Also funny.

Using his evil against his mom is acceptable. Suddenly his manipulative lying ways are working in the right direction.

Honestly?

This was a fine ending, I’m not mad at it.

They managed to keep Lom in character until the end, he remained deceitful. I would never trust him, but clearly Nuea is willing to ride that dragon.

I guess 7/10?

If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

But, frankly? Lom as a character would sit better amongst the drama bananas of Only Friends.

In summation:

A lackluster Mame offering with less of her usual stellar chemistry, but all of her usual manipulation. An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursues him, even though he’s about to marry someone else.

(source)

#The Wedding Plan #wedding plan the series #Thai BL #ABL trash watches BL #trash watches #trash watching mame #save me from myself #trash watch #thai drama #thaibl #save me from mame #can't stope the trash watch

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pippytmi · 25 days

Note

Hi!! For the Kacy Post Breakup AU stories. Do you still taking promt?? Please can you write "i found the ring when i was moving my stuff out of your apartment and now everything makes sense”?? But Kate found the ring, Kate broke up with Lucy the reason is up to you. Love the ones you already write, thankkk yoouu 🫶🏽

“Theoretically—and I do mean this theoretically, I can’t stress that enough—would you be able to one: procure a pair of bolt cutters, and two: meet me somewhere in twenty minutes? Just think about it. As a purely hypothetical situation.”

Lucy has to stifle a laugh into her fist as she patiently listens to Ernie’s dramatics. “As much as I want to come free you from wherever you’re chained up—”

“I said in theory—”

“—I have a thing,” Lucy says. “Um. With Kate?” To call it “a thing” might be a complete oversimplification, but Ernie gives an understanding hum on the other end of the phone.

“I can be there in five minutes. Okay, like twenty-five minutes. And I can be a buffer, or a distraction, or someone to stare her down all night. Whatever you need.”

Lucy turns the corner and sees Kate Whistler waiting on her doorstep, and the tell-tale pang in her chest briefly makes her falter. “No, it’s fine,” she remembers to answer. “I have to go, though.”

“If you’re sure,” Ernie says, sounding entirely unconvinced. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Lucy mumbles, and she shoves her phone into her back pocket as she carefully approaches her apartment. Kate is still standing there—stiffly out of place with suitcases at her side—but she somehow still straightens up even more when she notices Lucy. “Hey,” Lucy calls, a touch confused. “You didn’t let yourself in?”

“I wasn't sure if you wanted me to,” Kate says, awkwardly pulling at the strings of her hoodie the way she does when she is uncomfortable. She takes a step back when Lucy brings out her keys, obviously trying not to hover, and Lucy sighs.

“I don’t care, whatever,” she says, ushering Kate in with a halfhearted flourish when the door clicks open. “Just ignore the mess, I haven’t cleaned or anything.” Work has actually kept her from being home very often beyond to sleep, so she knows her apartment will be a little bit in disarray.

To Kate, it must be a war zone; she has always been a neat freak (in the most endearing way). Lucy has to step over a stack of Amazon packages to even get inside, and she knows that Kate will zero in on everything else Lucy hasn’t cleared out yet: the takeout containers on the coffee table, the jackets strewn over the chairs, the abandoned folders and posters all over the couch.

Lucy is used to it, though, and she walks right in whereas Kate seems to freeze. “Do you want a drink?”

Kate does a double-take, snapping out of her stupor. “Sorry?”

“A drink,” Lucy repeats. “Do you want one?”

“I…think it would be better to do this sober,” Kate says, brow crinkling, and Lucy has to pause to work out what the hell Kate is talking about.

“What? No, I meant like water. Or Gatorade,” Lucy amends. “Actually, I might only have Gatorade.” It’s a whole thing—some new sponsorship her agent had set up which led to a whole crate of the stuff being shipped—and now Lucy has way more than she can drink.

“I'm okay. But thank you,” Kate says, formal to a fault, and Lucy resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“Okay, well, you can…get started. I’m going to be doing some work in the kitchen if you need anything,” Lucy says.

Kate rapidly nods. “Right. Of course,” she says. “I’ll be as quick as I can. I’m sure you’re busy.”

“Yeah. No, totally.” Lucy has actually cleared her entire day just for this, but she doesn't say as much. It is much easier to hide away and pretend she's reading a script instead of, you know, waiting for her ex-girlfriend to pack up all remnants of their relationship.

Even without watching her do it, Lucy knows Kate is probably working efficiently and effectively to erase all traces of happiness from this apartment—their apartment. Kate had never officially moved in, but it was still theirs, and Lucy sees her in everything: in the framed print of The Great Wave off Kanagawa, in the uneven coffee table they picked out from a flea market because it was so beautifully hideous, in the old, torn couch where they had exchanged I love yous for the first time.

(That fact may have also influenced Lucy’s choice to spend as much time as possible at work. Maybe.)

Speaking of work…Lucy begrudgingly takes a seat at the kitchen table to pretend she is doing some. At the very least, she can do the boring task of clearing emails from her agent. Also, she should probably check and make sure Ernie is alive.

About an hour into rewatching Gilmore Girls, Kate shows up in the doorway, wringing her fingers together anxiously. “Sorry to bother you,” she says, as if she can’t hear Lorelai Gilmore’s voice from Lucy’s laptop, “but do you know where my backpack is? The one I use for hiking?”

Lucy blinks. “Uh, I’m not sure.” Kate is the person who normally knows where everything is. Even in Lucy’s apartment, she has an uncanny ability to find stuff Lucy never can.

“I had it the weekend before…” Kate doesn’t have to finish with before I broke up with you, but Lucy hears it anyway. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. If you find it later I can just come back for it.”

“No, I can help you look.” Lucy pauses her show to clarify, “Just so you don’t have to make two trips.”

Kate’s cautious expression slowly morphs into a slightly crestfallen one. “Right. No, of course,” she says.

“Where did you look?” Lucy follows Kate outside to retrace her steps, and all the while, she curiously takes note of the absence of things Kate has chosen to select as purely hers: the cozy throw blanket off the couch, the snow globe which Kate’s mom had sent over for Christmas, the paper flower which Lucy had folded for Kate and previously was displayed in their only vase.

“Both closets—I don’t remember putting it anywhere else. Did you let someone borrow it, maybe?” Kate heads into the bedroom, zeroing in on their closet, but Lucy is focused solely on Kate’s question.

“Why would I let someone borrow your backpack? It’s not mine,” Lucy says, with admittedly a bit of indignation in her tone, but. Who the hell is Kate to suggest that Lucy would be so petty as to lose Kate’s lame hiking backpack?

Kate glances at her sideways, brow crinkling ever-so-slightly. “I don’t know. I just thought—”

“That I’m going to be that ex who trashes your stuff?” Lucy knowingly fills in.

“No, that’s not at all what I’m saying.” Kate says, and she even looks quite alarmed at the suggestion. “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything.”

“Okay, then, don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like I’ve kicked your puppy or something!” Lucy presses her fingertips against her temples.

Kate opens her mouth, then dejectedly shuts it. After a beat she mumbles, “I wasn’t trying to.”

“Well you are.” Lucy has to turn away, and she busies herself with digging through the pile of clothes at the bottom of the closet to see if somehow Kate’s backpack is buried underneath. It isn’t, but Lucy does find the script she had been searching for since last month, so it’s still a win-win.

“I can get another one,” Kate says suddenly. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Sure, whatever you want,” Lucy says, kicking a parka out of the way as she wanders into the adjoining bathroom. “Is that the last thing you need to pack?” Already, all of Kate’s toiletries are missing. Lucy has to bite her lip to keep from doing something stupid like tearing up at the sight of her toothbrush all alone; the absolute last thing she needs to do is start breaking down when Kate is right outside.

“Almost,” Kate’s voice rings out hesitantly from beyond the door. “I have to finish sorting out my clothes.”

Lucy pokes her head out to briefly advise, “Check my drawers, I might have stolen a few of your shirts.” Selfishly, she wants to hang on to anything of Kate’s that she can, but she is making an effort to be practical. If she keeps on wasting her nights getting drunk and crying into that sweater of Kate’s that still smells like her, Lucy will never actually get over Kate. And she has at least promised Ernie that she will try.

Kate starts opening the drawers of the nightstands; Lucy can hear them open and shut. Lucy continues to peek about the bathroom until she has no reason to, and she begrudgingly makes her way back into the bedroom prepared to fake a call and escape back to the kitchen.

But when she walks in, Lucy is immediately immobilized at the sight of Kate standing stock-still in the center of the room—eyes wide, skin eerily pale—and in her hand is the ring box that Lucy forgot she hid in the top drawer of her nightstand.

“Oh fuck,” Lucy breathes out, her mouth forming words before her brain can interject. “That…is not what it looks like.”

Kate rapidly sets the box down on the bed, hand trembling all the while. “I’m sorry,” she says. “It just fell out. It—” She stops, sags backwards until she is leaning against the wall, her usual stoic façade completely melted away into pure disbelief. “You were going to propose?”

This time, there’s no stopping the tears when they spring to her eyes, but Lucy still wipes at them anyway. “I loved you, Kate,” she says thickly, her heart beating fast in an unbelievably painful manner. “What do you think?”

“I thought—” Kate audibly swallows. “You told me you never wanted to get married.”

Lucy shrugs limply. “Well, you do,” she says. “Obviously not with me, but..."

Kate goes silent for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks at last, and her voice quivers like she might cry, which makes absolutely no sense.

“How could I?” Lucy scoffs. “Did you want me to stop your little spiel about ‘not fitting in each other’s lives anymore’ to say ‘hey, Kate, I actually want to propose to you. Can you maybe reconsider breaking up with me?’”

“It would’ve explained a lot, Lucy,” Kate says, stricken. “This whole time—is this why you were acting so weird?”

“I wasn’t acting weird,” Lucy says defensively.

Kate doesn’t seem to be listening. “I thought it was about your job,” she goes on, almost as if to herself. “I thought you were regretting everything.” Her cheeks glisten with silent tears, and Lucy’s stomach flips in on itself.

She doesn’t know what she’s feeling at first. Initially, Lucy assumes it’s devastation, her chest so tight with it like she might finally burst into sobs. But then she realizes it’s anger, white-hot and all-consuming, and when it explodes it comes out as:

“You didn’t even try to talk to me? If I was acting weird, fine. I don’t agree, but let’s say I was.” Lucy begins to pace, because otherwise, she might actually start crying hysterically. “Why wouldn’t you ask me what was going on?”

“I did,” Kate says softly, too softly. “You said it was work.”

Lucy pauses. “Okay, maybe that one time,” she allows. “I don’t see how that leads to dumping me.”

Kate pushes off the wall, her gaze so sorrowful and pained that Lucy has to cross her arms and pointedly look away. “I was holding you back,” she says plainly. “Your career is taking off, Lucy. You’re so famous now you get recognized every time you leave the house. I’m still a dropout law student with no idea what I’m doing in life.”

“I never cared about that.”

“But I do,” Kate says desperately. “That’s why I…that’s the only reason why I wanted to break up. It was never because I didn’t love you.” Kate has moved closer, maybe inadvertently, but Lucy jerks backwards all the same.

“It’s too late,” Lucy says—realizes. “You can’t tell me that. You’re leaving. You chose this! Kate, you—you decided to break my heart instead of trying to make this work. How do you expect me to feel?”

Kate’s hands go immediately to her hoodie strings. “I know,” she says. Twists the ends between her thumb and forefinger. “If I could take it back—”

“You can’t,” Lucy cuts her off. “You ruined it.” Her frustration is the tipping point: the tears come and they’re not pretty, hot and stinging and absolutely ruining whatever makeup she has worn today. “I’m going to go, okay? I’m going to ask Ernie to pick me up and you can just—just let me know when you’re done.”

“No, I…” Kate shakes her head. “I’ll go. Um. Don’t worry about the rest of my stuff.” She zips up her half-empty suitcase and haphazardly yanks it along, lingering briefly only by the doorway like she wants to say something else before she leaves. Lucy can see her struggle; her jaw clenches and unclenches until finally she says, “I’m sorry.”

Lucy exhales, recognizing at once she only has one chance to ask what has been bugging her this entire time. “Kate,” she says, to stop her just for one second. “Would…would you have said yes?”

Kate gazes at her so sadly that when she smiles, barely there, it is as surprising as it is heartbreaking. “Of course I would have,” she says quietly.

And without even waiting for Lucy to say anything—perhaps realizing that she won’t—Kate is leaving, and Lucy is letting her. If this was a movie, Lucy would chase her out the door; maybe get down on one knee anyway, and wait for Kate to finally accept their happily-ever-after in whatever form it takes.

But this isn’t a movie, and there is no black and white ending which will ever really satisfy them both. So Lucy sinks down onto her bed, cradles the ring box in her palm, and begins to mourn a life that was never hers to begin with.

#this is kind of a celebrity au (or adjacent)#but wow thank you for ur kind words + this prompt! i hope u like this angst too :)#kacy #kate x lucy #ncis hawaii #i need a fic tag #this angst practice has been good for me but now i need some fluff lol im hoping to finish up a sc prompt ive been chipping at too

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lfghughes · 11 months

Text

Can’t Make Any Promises pt.2

a/n: once again i just kind of got carried away with my writing but for all my peeps that wanted a second part

Trevor

Jamies sister had left, leaving him to be the one to tell his best friend what exact he had just asked of his older sister. Not that it really mattered because she had said yes for the first time in all the times he had asked. Plus it wasn’t a secret that Trevor had been crushing on her, he never hid his flirting even when Jamie was around but he wasn’t sure if Jamie understood that it’s not just his usual flirty self that he was pretty sure he had actual feelings for her.

When Jamie pulled in Trevor definitely felt slightly more nervous than he had a hour back. “Hey man, did my sister pass by?” Jamie asked and Trevor nodded his head. “She sure did, she already headed out but actually I did want to run something by you real quick.” At that Trevor cleared his throat, the nerves coming up. “You asked her out on a date again, didn’t you?” Trevors jaw dropped a little. “She told me all the other times you did. I’m guessing she finally gave you a yes?”

Trevor just nodded his head, was his best friend about to hate him now. “I mean I’m cool with it but if you decide you don’t like her and break her heart we’re going to have a problem.” Well that was comforting at least but Trevor wasn’t really worried about that. Now he just had to get ready for this date.

Readers P.O.V

You knew that Jamie wouldn’t be too bothered by it. Your brother had actually told you a few times before to give Trevor a chance and your only excuse was the age thing which shockingly he also did not understand. Maybe it was a guy thing. Anyways now you were getting ready for this date and you had to admit you were a little excited about it even if that small insecurity was still sticking in the back of your mind.

When there was a knock on your door you knew it was time to go and you had decided on a casual but cute outfit since it was just dinner and a movie. When you opened the door you were a little surprised at the fact that Trevor was there holding a small bouquet of flowers. “I stopped and got these for you. If you’re allergic or hate them though I can just toss them.” There was an edge of nervousness to his voice and you thought that was cute. “No, they’re beautiful thanks.”

The dinner had gone a lot better than you expected and you two talked about a variety of different things. It was actually pretty nice to talk to Trevor one on one without your brother there. The conversations were a lot less about hockey which you slightly appreciated. You had to admit this was one of the best dates you had gone on in a long while. The movie part was just as good except you craved talking to him a little more but because of the movie you weren’t able to.

It was pretty disappointing as the night came to an end because it had been a good time and now you were both standing on your front porch. “So any chance there could be a second date?” Trevor asked and there was a hopeful gleam to his eye. A small sigh left your lips “Trevor this was really nice but this still doesn’t change where we are in life. You’re young and you still have your party phase left and I’m just not there anymore, I’m more in the stage of settling down.” You wished that it could be a different story but you knew it wasn’t.

“Who says I’m not ready for all that same stuff. I had to grow up fast and I’m not some college kid. I have a secure job, I pay all my own bills, and I’m not looking to be out at some frat party every night. It’s a four year difference between us that’s it.” A sigh fell from your lips again and you knew he meant every word he said. “If you’re serious about it, I’d like to keep seeing where this could go.” You whispered to him and a small smile filled his lips. His hand went gently to the side of your cheek “Can I?” He asked and you nodded your head. He leaned in and gave you a gentle kiss before pulling away. “Maybe tomorrow you can come over? I’ll cook us both dinner. Your brother already has plans so it’ll just be the two of us.” You nodded your head a second time, looks like there would be a second date after all.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras blurb #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras imagine #( cant make any promises ft trevor zegras )

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docholligay · 29 days

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The best thing about this episode is the way it plays out the unique pain of grieving someone you do not love. Or worse maybe even, someone you did love, once but they disappointed you so intensely that all you can feel is rage and despair.

Bojack actually doesn't have to be giving this eulogy at all. That's not a requirement. There's no rule that says you have to have any kind of funeral at all.

But he does. And he keeps going on, even after he says that he has nothing more to say about his mother. Because he does. He has so much more to say, and there is no other place in his life where he will ever just be allowed to talk about his mother and the way he felt about her, outside of the therapy that he is absolutely not going to go to.

Complicated grief is an interesting thing, and for my money it's harder than "normal" grief (if grief is ever really normal) and that's why this is one of my favorite episodes of anything ever, is I'm not sure I've ever seen it dealt with where the emotions are so much more than just sorrow. Sorrow isn't easy, but it is simple.

But, what Bojack goes into, is anger, and disappointment.

It starts with him continuing to joke, with telling his mom to knock once if she's proud of him, and him saying how nice it is to be in a room with his mother and just be able to talk without her telling him to shut up. It's this knife tip, just working its way out of Bojack's mouth, and the jokes keep coming, but they are less funny and more this weaponized humor.

Then even that breaks down, and he starts to realize what the problem was, what the problem has always been. Even while he's realizing that he is perpetuating this same set of problems, he's thinking about the grand gesture. And how Tv convinced him that someday, he would see the one thing that let him know his parents loved him.

But it's the consistency. I love the way here, he basically yells at the coffin.

To love someone who has consistently disappointed you, to be joined with them, and the rage that comes out of that, it's so real. And Bojack can't even look at his parents and say, 'You tried" because they didn't. They didn't try even one day in their lives. Not with him. But there are so many people in our lives we allow to disappoint us over and over again, and when they die, or leave your life completely, you have this realization, that, they were never ever what you needed. You convinced yourself that maybe someday they would be, but they were never going to be, maybe they even couldn't, and then YOU feel like the fucking idiot. For wanting it. For thinking that it could happen. And then we're all Bojack here, yelling at a dead body, and it's worse than pointless, and that is part of the complication of this grief, is, not only is it not going to get any better, but you can't even offload it back onto that person. You have to swallow your role and their role in it all, forever.

And then we come back to that "Knock once." asking her if she loved him and wanted him to know that he made her life a little brighter. He knows she won't knock, he knows she can't respond. It's still a joke but it's a joke he's playing on himself.

This anger, that she was never going to be the mother he needed, comes around at the end in some of the best stuff, and this is the kind of stuff that gets it so right that it causes me physical pain.

The worst part, of someone dying, that you have a difficult relationship with, is that it will never get better. Someone disappoints you, and they disappoint you more, but then someday, they die, and they can never ever get better. They can never turn it around and they can never make it right. "My mother is dead, and everything is worse now, because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, “BoJack Horseman, I see you." WHile someone is alive, they could always get better. At one point in my life, I was a selfish, mean-spirited person who spent my days doing whatever I wanted and my nights drunk, and doing whatever I wanted. I didn't do anything that would put me out. I got better, because I lived long enough to pull my head out of my ass.

But when someone doesn't do that. When you wait for them to have some epiphany, and hold out their hand, and do better, and then suddenly, they can't, and, everything is going to be stuck, the way it is. It is the death of possibility that makes this sort of complicated grief so painful. Someone who was wonderful dies, you miss what they were, but someone difficult dies, you miss who they could have been, and that's so impossible to describe to someone that I had never seen it well done, before this episode.

#Doc watches Bojack horseman #Free Churro #Bojack S5E6

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love-kurdt · 3 months

Text

Swooping, Sloping, Cursive Letters: 6

word count: 604

warning: homophobia

PLEASE READ THIS IS ME TRYING FIRST, AS THIS STORY RELIES HEAVILY UPON THE CONTEXT OF TIMT

December 15, 1987

Dear Will,

I walked into my house after spending the night at your place, and the first thing my dad asked me was, “You and Jane get back together yet?” And I explained to him, once a-motherfucking-gain, that no, Jane and I are not getting back together, and that we mutually agreed that we’re better off as friends. Then he remarked something along the lines of why I’m always at the Byers-Hopper house, if not to see my Sweetie Pie, and I had to keep my composure for long enough to tell him, “I was hanging out with Will, dad.”

He laughed in a way that was so mean, Will. It was cruel, mocking, and slightly angry. I ran upstairs and had to look at your art until I felt better. But his laugh was still there, in my head. It’s like he knows about me, even when I haven’t explicitly told him. And he never gives up an opportunity to ridicule me, regardless of if I’m rumored to be, or actually , gay.

It got worse over dinner, when my mom asked me about how my time at your house was. She phrased it as “How did last night go at Will’s?” Not Jane’s. That made me so fucking happy for some reason. My mom is so kind without even trying to be. I genuinely have no idea why she and my dad are still married– they’re, like, polar opposites, and not in the good way where opposites attract. But I told her we had a nice time, and she smiled, and told me she was glad before going back to her sweet potato casserole. I’ll bring some the next time we hang out, I know you love it.

Anyway, back to my dad. He snorted, as if spending time with my best friend was the funniest fucking thing to ever happen in the history of the Wheeler family. I wracked my brain to try and figure out what was such a huge joke to him, but he continued on, saying, “I swear, kid, it’s like he’s your little boyfriend or something.” Then I snapped. You won’t be proud of me for this, because I yelled and stuff, but I hope you’ll at least see me as brave after I tell you this.

I turned to my dad with a wild look in my eyes (probably), and said some shit like, “Yeah, me and my boyfriend, Will Byers, had such a great time last night! We stared longingly into each others’ eyes for hours , then we cuddled, then we kissed, and then we got each other off ! It was so hot, Dad. Truly. I wish you could’ve seen –”

But then my dad roared at me to go to my room, which shut me up, thankfully . I don’t know what would have happened if I let my mouth keep running. I most likely would've outed myself. I didn’t, though, so I decided to get out of there before my dad changed his mind. I ran up the stairs and locked my door and now I’m sitting here at my desk, writing this letter that you’ll never read. I know what I said was a lot. I mean, it was pretty vulgar. Plus, it's never actually happened, and it never will happen. So I'm sorry about that.

Bottom line, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come out to my parents. At least, not to my dad. He wouldn’t let me out of that conversation with my heart still beating.

Here’s to being in the closet for life, I guess.

Love,

Mike

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#byler #byler fanfic #byler fic #byler tumblr #mike wheeler #will byers #stranger things #stranger things fic #will x mike #mike x will

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marie-swriting · 7 months

Text

I Like San Francisco - Kate Bishop

Marvel Masterlist

Romance Masterlist

Summary : You're in San Francisco with your best friend Kate and she made it her personal challenge to make you fall in love with the city.

Warnings : fluff, mutual pining, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.

Word count : 2k

French version

Song inspiration : Used To This by Camila Cabello

You slowly open your eyes, the daylight preventing you from staying in the arms of Morpheus. Turning your head, you look at Kate tenderly. Her lips are parted, light snores are coming out of them. You think she’s cute. You’ll never tell her that.

You’ve been in love with her since your teenage years and you’ve always managed to ignore your feelings, you even dated other people. However, your feelings came back in an instant when your last relationship ended. You’ve been struggling for a month to not show it. You’ve been friends for too long, it’d be strange to confess your feelings now and you don’t know if you’d be able to get used to this new change in your relationship so you admire her in silence.

You completely turn yourself towards your best friend to have a better look of her face. Kate seems to have felt you because a few seconds later, her face is in front of yours, a strand of hair falling on her. Kate’s nose scrunches a bit, being tickled by the hairs. Still asleep, she tries to move her head, hoping to take away what’s bothering her in vain. You hold back a laugh before taking the strand of hair away. At the same time, you’re putting it back behind her ear, Kate slowly opens her eyes. Your hand finds its way back to your side, fearing you might have woken her up. You stay still until Kate completely opens her eyes and guilt takes over your body.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. Your hair was bothering you so I wanted to help you.”

“Don’t worry. What time is it ?” she asks with a sleepy voice that could make you swoon.

“Nine am.”

“We should get up then.” Kate exclaims, leaving the bed.

“What ? Why ? We’re on vacation.” you sigh, putting your pillow on your head.

“We’re in San Francisco for only five days. You didn’t seriously think we’d stay in the hotel room doing nothing ?” she questions, taking your pillow.

“Huh, actually, I did. I’ve never liked San Francisco so-”

“You don’t like San Francisco ? You’re kidding me ?” Kate cuts you off, shocked.

“There’s nothing special here.” you affirm, shrugging.

“Why did you book this trip then ?”

“Because my ex absolutely wanted to come here and I wanted to please her. I mean, that was before she dumped me a month ago ‘cause ‘actually, she never loved me that much’.” you explain, irritated because of your ex, Sarah.

“It’s not a reason to not enjoy it ! You’re with your best friend in a new city and I know what we’re going to do, I did some research. You’ll see, by the end of our trip, you’ll be in love with San Francisco.”

“Is that a challenge ?”

“You could say that.” Kate smiles.

“Good luck.”

“Come on ! Get your cute little ass up from that bed and go shower.” she orders, hitting you with the pillow. “I’m gonna plan our itinerary for today.”

You laugh before giving her a salute and standing up. Kate points to the bathroom with her hand and not without groaning, you go get ready after taking your stuff.

Once you’re both ready, you take one of San Francisco’s famous cable cars to discover the city quickly before exploring different areas. During your ride, Kate is sitting next to the window and she’s looking at the landscape with amazement. At first, you don’t pay attention until she takes your hand and shows you the typical city’s houses. The sensation of her hand in yours gives you butterflies. It’s not the first time she’s doing this but now it’s different. Your feelings are stronger so this touch is both nice and weird. It means more than friendship.

Kate reads some passages from a touristic book, hoping you’ll be interested in it and you listen to her, technically you’re more captivated by the sound of her voice rather than the information.

When you think you’ve stayed long enough in the cable car, you go to Pier 39. Kate drags you to the place where you can see Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge from afar before going where you can find sea lions. As soon as you see them, you have to admit this city is becoming more interesting. Kate tries to get closer to one of them and panics at the last minute when a sea lion moves and she runs to you. You laugh at her actions. You take a few pictures and continue to visit a bit more until it’s late.

The next days are quite similar. You’re discovering the city and Kate tries to find something that could make you like the city by any means. She finally manages the fourth day. That day, she brings you to the Beat Museum. You love this literary movement and the authors from it. Seeing the storefront of the museum, you turn to Kate who has a proud smile on her face.

“So, is there still nothing special in San Francisco ?” she questions rhetorically.

“You’re on the right path. I gotta admit, this museum is one of the only reasons why I had accepted to come here.”

“I knew it ! Come on, let’s go in there.” she says, locking her arm in yours.

In the museum, you’re totally mesmerised. For once, you’re the one giving information to Kate who listens with joy. She asks you a lot of questions and you answer every one of them, even the most basic one. You even add some fun facts you’ve discovered over the years. Before leaving, you go to the gift shop and buy Lonesome Traveller. You know almost every Jack Kerouac’s works but you don’t own them all. You’ve mostly read them on your Kindle and coming to the museum is the perfect excuse to buy the physical copy of this particular book.

That night, you go eat at the restaurant not too far away from the hotel. On the way, you start reading the book out loud so Kate can discover the story. For your pleasure, she gets interested in it right away and she is sad when she realises you’ve arrived at the restaurant, wanting to know what happens next. You promise her to keep reading it to her later.

The ambiance in the place is relaxed thanks to the karaoke night. You laugh at the different groups of people singing while being extravagant. Whilst you’re eating, you sometimes sing with the people on the stage from your chairs. Your best friend has officially organised this day perfectly.

Once you’ve finished eating, you don’t go home straight away, instead you prefer to keep watching people doing karaoke. An hour later, Kate turns her head to you with a big smile on her face. No need to think too hard to know what she has in mind.

“Kate, no.” you laugh.

“Come on ! We know no one, we don’t care if we sing badly. Besides, we’re here to have fun.” she tries to convince you with puppy dog eyes.

“You better choose a good song !”

“Yes !” she exclaims, victorious before standing up.

When she comes back, she tells you there are two groups of people before you. Kate refuses to give you the name of the song she’s chosen, wanting to keep the surprise. You have several ideas in mind of what she could’ve asked for. Normally, Kate spit it out quickly if you insist long enough and you do her forlorn puppy look, however when it’s a surprise which is happening in a few minutes or hours, she can resist. When you’re called, Kate takes your arm and brings you to the stage.

The first notes of Lay All Your Love On Me start and you stare at her laughing. Of course, she chose this song ! Mamma Mia ! is your favorite movie and you know all the songs like the back of your hand and you even created your own choreography when you were kids getting the inspiration from the ones in the movies.

Kate starts singing and you patiently wait, your mic in hand. Kate moves on the stage without looking where she’s walking. The moment she sings ‘I beg of you’, she focuses on you. Seeing her about to fall, you catch her on time meanwhile her voice is unstable on the last note she is supposed to hold. You start singing the chorus, keeping your hand on her arm to prevent another accident. You continue your part of the song, laughing at Kate’s antics. When she sings the chorus, Kate gets closer to you and puts her hand on your cheeks, singing dramatically. You try to hide your discomfort, seeing her near you, like every time you get to that part of the song. At that moment, you’d like to kiss her but you hold yourself back ; you spin her, hoping to create a small space between you two.

You keep having fun until the song ends. Like the other participants, you’re applauded while you’re going back to your table. You stay for a bit longer before going back to the hotel, tiredness getting stronger.

The last day, you visit more calmly, having already done the most famous spots, except the Golden Gate Bridge. You’ve saved San Francisco's famous bridge for last, wanting to admire it during the sunset.

Luckily, there aren't a lot of people with you. You find a bench to stare at it peacefully. Waiting for the sunset, you keep reading Lonesome Traveller to Kate, her head on your knees while you’re stroking her hair. When she gives you a sign it’s time, you put your book in your bag and Kate sits down correctly. You watch the sun going down in the sky silently, Kate’s hand has found its way back to yours in the meantime. Whilst you’re lost in your thoughts, your best friend’s voice brings you back to reality.

“So have I successfully managed to change your mind ? Do you like the city ?”

“Good try but no. There are some interesting things but I’m still not convinced.” you admit with a smile.

“One day, I will make you change your mind !”

“Is that a threat ?”

“A promise.” Kate corrects, squeezing your hand lightly.

You stay silent again only this time, you’re not admiring the sky but Kate. Feeling your heart going faster, you try to calm yourself down. You keep staring at her before speaking again.

“Thanks for coming with me, by the way.”

“You know I’m always happy to spend time with you.”

“And thank you for not saying ‘I told you so’.”, you add, making her frown. “Don’t lie, you’ve been dreaming of saying it to me since Sarah dumped me. You were always saying she’d break my heart and I didn’t listen to you.”

“I didn’t tell you that because you were already suffering enough. You needed my support, not me bringing you down even more. One day, you’ll find someone who deserves you, I’m sure of it.”

“Yeah.” you say, not convinced.

“Maybe you’ve even already found her.” Kate suggests with a soft voice.

Your confused look on Kate, you’re not sure you’ve understood what she’s implying. You’re scared you're reading in between the lines too much. Kate gets closer to you while giving you the time to move backwards if you want to. You don’t move and she takes this as a good sign. Delicately, she presses her lips on yours. At first, you don’t react, surprised. Kate breaks the kiss, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you. It was weird.” she stutters, avoiding your gaze.

“No, I could get used to this.”

You take her hand, catching her attention. Her eyes go from your locked fingers to your face and finally to your lips. You break the space between you two and lean in to kiss her. Kate responds to the kiss instantly. You put your free hand on her neck and Kate puts her on your cheeks, deepening the kiss. You keep kissing each other, the sunset on the Golden Gate Bridge long forgotten. Once you’re out of air, you break the kiss and keep your face near to hers with a light smile.

“On second thought, I think I like San Francisco.”

Kate’s smile gets bigger at your sentence before she puts her lips back on yours, allowing both of you to get used to this new change in your relationship.

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{This is my side blog so I'll be answering comments under the username @marie-sworld}

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