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sabraeal · 4 years

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In Plain Sight, Chapter 3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Obiyuki AU Bingo Any AU of Your Choice (Witness Protection AU)

The thing about lying is: Shirayuki is terrible at it.

“So, Claire.” There’s no way her neighbor can know it’s a fake name, there’s no way she can be stressing it, not this perfect-picture Texan housewife who probably hasn’t thought about Witness Protection since the last time she watched Witness. “What is it you do?”

Shirayuki stares dumbly, mouth dry. She has a-- a brief or whatever, sitting somewhere in her luggage since it seemed silly to just whip it out during the flight, letting everyone seated in row eight see her new identity, but she--

She has no idea who she is. Who Claire Roos is.

“Um,” she manages, scuffing the edge of her sandal on the curb. “I, ah--”

Don’t have a job yet seems like a terrible way to start a conversation, especially right in front of a dream house that is too big for one single academic and definitely cost quite a bit of cash, so thankfully she’s saved the indignity by the unmarked white van that skids straight up to where they stand.

Oh, good. Now would actually be a great time to be kidnapped. Anything to save her from this.

“Excuse me, young man,” Mrs Kino calls out stridently as a man twice the size of them struts out of the driver’s side, her mouth pulled into a disapproving frown. “This is a neighborhood with children!”

Shirayuki stares at her. So does her kidnapper, popping one of his earbuds out. “Come again?”

If anything, this only makes Mrs Kino’s countenance more forbidding. “We have children here, sir.” When he continues to stare blankly, she clarifies, impatient, “Please drive with more care!”

“Oh.” He shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Roos?”

His gaze swings between them in question, but his slouched posture gave the impression he wasn’t all too concerned with the answer.

“Not me,” Mrs Kino says, sending her an expectant look, and--

Oh. Roos. That’s her. She’s Roos.

“That’s me. Roos!” she blurts out smoothly. “Claire Roos.”

“Okay. Great.” He slides open the side of the van, and she braces herself--

For him to drop a half dozen boxes at her feet. White boxes, with the word WALMART emblazoned on the side.

“What?” she murmurs, toes shying back. “I didn’t--”

“Have a nice day,” he says, slamming the door. “Make sure you give the delivery five stars, okay?”

“O-okay.” She stares down at the siege of low-quality home goods around her. “But I really didn’t--”

He’s already got his earbud back in, strutting around to the driver’s side and-- and she’s stuck with whatever is in these boxes. Probably pin-up girl shower curtains and whatever the doormat version of The Kiss poster is, if her handler had a hand in this.

She glances up at her house, dread squeezing her chest. He might have decorated the whole place. He might have even picked this house out for her. There might even be a galley kitchen in there.

“Well now, looks like you planned ahead!” Mrs Kino remarked, surveying her sea of boxes. “Wouldn’t have even thought to get a delivery on moving day.”

“Oh, I didn’t--” she bites down on the words-- “even remember it was coming.”

“Ain’t that just the way.” Mrs Kino shakes her head, giving a wry laugh. “Moving just gets everyone all turned around, doesn’t it? Anyway, you best get those inside. Don’t want anything to go bad right out here on the lawn, do we?”

Shirayuki just stares, wondering how cheap home goods could expire any more than they already have. “Ah...right. Of course.”

“You need help carrying these up?” her neighbor nods at the winding steps up to the door. “Might save you a trip.”

Oh gosh, the stairs. They’re nothing now, just a lovely little accent built into her yard’s natural hill, but in the winter, she’ll have to--

Her whole body jerks to a stop. She’s not in New England anymore, she’s in-- in Texas. The South. She won’t have to shovel them.

“Claire?”

She wipes the grin from her face. “Um, yes! If you don’t mind.”

Mrs Kino smiles up at her brightly. “Why, not at all. It’s the neighborly thing to do! Around here, we’re all as close as family.”

“Oh.” Her lips pulls tight against her teeth. “Just perfect.”

“That looks like all of it,” Mrs Kino pants, dropping the last box up at the door.

It takes every last ounce of willpower for Shirayuki to not just collapse on the stairs. She knew it would be warmer here-- after all, going south mean getting closer to the equator, and the equator means hot, so it made sense that the further south she went the more heat there would be, but--

Garack once had to do a timed experiment for four hours in the warm room, and sometime around hour two, when Shirayuki thought that if she dared to move she would collapse like melted ice cream held together by the magic shell of her skin, Garack announced that this was as miserable as Satan’s asscrack, and well--

This place is worse than that. By at least an order of magnitude.

Mrs Kino casts a pointed look to where she clenches the wrought-iron rail and asks, “You sure you don’t want help bringing them in?”

“Oh, no!” Shirayuki waves her hands, keys jingling against her palm. Even the sound is strange, like how room keys jangle when on vacation, hollow and far too few. “The house, it’s really--”

She doesn’t know what it’s really, because she’s never seen a single piece of it. Which is part of the problem, since presumably people look at the houses they’re going to buy, even if they’re clear across the country.

“Messy,” she settles on. That’s safe, at least. “I’ll need a few days to get it into ship-shape.”

“Oh, of course!” Kino gives her a wide smile, more earnest than she deserves. “I know just how it is. But you just holler if you need anything. Me and Harold are just a hedge away!”

“Ah, yes! Right!” She edges back toward her door, fishing for the keyhole. Holding this smile is starting to hurt. It’ll be the last thing left of her if she melts, just a pearly white set of teeth on top of a pile of vaguely Shirayuki-ish goo. “I’ll...holler.”

“Good.” Kino makes it nearly two stairs down before turning back. “Oh, I clear forgot to mention. I always have the ladies of the neighborhood by Thursday afternoon. Just a small little get-together. You’ll have to come.”

Oh no. No.

“Of course.” The reasonable part of her watches in horror as instinct takes over and her body nods. “I’d love to, Mrs Kino.”

“It’s Martha, please,” she laughs, waving her off. “I’ll have to let all the girls know you’re coming by. They’ll be pleased as punch, I can tell you.”

Shirayuki watches her walk away with a pit of dread growing in her gut. “Great. I...can’t wait.”

With a grunt, Shirayuki hauls the last box into the foyer. She’s half tempted to just crawl the last step in rather than walk. As it is, she barely stumbles over that hurdle, hauling herself up the last half foot before she collapses against the door. Its cool surface is a godsend; she slides down it with a long, loud squeak, leaving a trail of sweat behind her. She’d be horrified, if it didn’t feel so good.

The AC is blasting, and the vent hits her where she sits, cold air cooling the slick surface of her skin, turning it blissfully sticky instead.

Well, those are words she never quite thought she’d use in that order.

The sweat she’s been dripping onto the beautiful natural wood floor beneath her slows to a stop. With a sigh, she leans her head against the door, grimacing as her hair sticks to her neck. She needs a shower.

But first the boxes. Then she can think of a way to thank Mrs—Martha for her help, and next Thurday when she goes to—

Oh no. Lunch. A ladies’ lunch. What was she thinking?

She needs an adult. Ridiculously, she wonders if Agent Jiang would pick up.

No, not him. Agent Jiang-- Obi was probably the one who thought ordering home décor from Walmart was the pinnacle of adulthood. He’s the sort of man who has one kitchen towel, and it has chili peppers on it.

A sweaty palm claps to her cheek. A ladies’ lunch. Oh gosh, she’s going to have to make something.

She doesn’t even have groceries. She’ll have to-- to go out and find a store and buy them. The produce might not even be local. They might have a bad organic section. There may not even be a Whole Foods for miles. The World Food’s aisle might only have pasta in it.

Shirayuki isn’t cut out for this-- this whole moving thing. She likes knowing that the Roche Brothers on the corner buys their produce local, but that the Market Basket has the better selection of spices. Or that the Whole Foods is cheaper but the Trader Joe’s two towns over has a better freezer section. Now she doesn’t even know if there is more than one store, and she--

She breathes. In. Out. She’ll just have to live with it. One step at a time.

Step one: open up these boxes. Better to find out now what inappropriate shot glasses her handler got her to christen the kitchen.

Slipping her key between her knuckles, she slices the first box open, flipping the lid to find--

Shirayuki blinks. Tilting the box, she reads Walmart, right on the side, big star in the middle. That...can’t be right.

She peers back inside, but the contents haven’t changed: fresh produce, still leafy and green. Carrots, spinach, a couple of cheerful looking eggplants, and even a clamshell of strawberries is tucked underneath.

“Well,” she murmurs, stymied. “That’s...unexpected.”

She turns to the next box, a heavier one, and it’s packed to the top with spices. Cinnamon, coriander, garlic, oregano, basil, thyme, curry, cumin-- big bottles she would have had to buy out of the Goya section back home. And now they’re all sitting in this box from Walmart.

Settling back on her heels, Shirayuki surveys the last four boxes, just as big as the first two. One of them is cold to the touch.

She blinks. “Walmart sells groceries?”

The only answer is her echo, but that-- that’s fine, because every box she opens is packed to the gills with foodstuffs-- chicken and beef and shrimp in one; flour, sugar, a dozen other baking needs, including two bags of chocolate chips; another filled with butter and eggs and milk. By the last box, she has a fully stocked kitchen, plus or minus a few personal needs.

“Well,” she breathes, “looks like he might know his way around the kitchen after all.”

That, or he has a very helpful coworker. Either way, she has food, and a--

“Kitchen!” She peers down the hall, curious. “I need to find the kitchen.”

Hauling herself to her feet, she lifts the box of dairy and detours past the stairs, leading into--

Oh, well. That’s a surprise.

Shirayuki can admit it: Marshal Jiang has outdone himself. Or at least, whichever agent vetted this house for purchase.

The kitchen could be straight out of one of those home and garden magazines Oma liked to have laying out around the B&B: track lighting hung right over the kitchen island, granite countertops, a double oven with separate range. It’s every improvement Opa had vetoed to their own, saying it was all a pipe dream when they still had repairs to do to the bathrooms, and the roof would need to be redone in the summer--

A summer that never came. And never would, now.

Her hands tighten around the box. There’s no time to dwell, not now when she has perishables to rescue and a kitchen to organize.

Start with what you can fix, Opa would say, the content of his tool box littered around him, and forget about what you can’t.

“Right,” she murmurs, setting the box on the counter. “Dairy first.”

The entire house, once she’s showered the sweat off and is finally able to explore, is as impressive as the kitchen. The whole first floor is open concept, kitchen flowing into the living room on one side and the dining area on the other, bathroom and home office tucked down a small hallway-- and every inch of it is homey, done up on soft fabrics and warm woods, looking both lived-in and clean.

But the pièce de résistance is the master bedroom, because--

“Oh gosh.” The words are muffled through the world’s fluffiest duvet. “It’s memory foam.”

Shirayuki flips onto her back with a sigh. It’s definitely not home-- nothing could be-- but it’s something. Something she can try to make into one.

“Hot in!” someone yells, muted, and Shirayuki bolts upright, heart pounding in her chest.

“So hot in here!” they continue, a siren blaring behind the words, and she realizes-- it’s her phone. Her phone is...singing to her.

She frowns, reaching across the bed to snatch it up from the nightstand. There’s no picture on the caller ID, just the words Sugar Daddy.

She definitely does not know anyone named that.

“Hello?” she squeaks, dragging herself further onto the bed. “Who is this?”

“It’s me,” says the man on the other end, and the quick jolt in her belly identifies him better than a name could: Marshal Jiang. Obi.

Anxious butterflies beat against her rib cage. He must have some-- some reason for calling. Official reasons. Marshals don’t call their charges just to chat.

Probably. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” He sounds amused through the speaker; she can almost imagine the smug grin he has on his face. “I just wanted to check in. Make sure you’ve settled in all right. Hear any complaints.”

“Oh, right.” She rolls upright; they might be on the phone, but lounging on a bed while talking to Obi seems...weird. “I’m...good?”

He hums, amused. “No trouble?”

Besides him abandoning her to her fate on her front lawn, and her inability to lie for more than three minutes at a time?

“Well, I don’t think I said anything strange in front of my neighbor,” she says instead, stomach clenching as she rifles through her memory. “She invited me to meet the other neighbors at lunch, or, um, tea? Something like that. I’ll have to make something, I think.”

“Oh,” he murmurs. “That’s something.”

“It’s the neighborly thing to do,” she informs him. “I think I might go with cookies. That’s simple, and everyone likes cookies.”

“I know I do,” he agrees, and she has no idea why it sounds like he’s on the verge of a laugh. “But I mean: no signs of Umihebi or her people? No one lingering outside your house? No unmarked vans? You feel safe?”

“Oh!” Right, because that’s what he’s worried about: her getting shot. Or kidnapped. Or whatever it is that mob bosses do to girls like her. “Yes. I mean, no. No one hanging around. Though the Walmart van was unmarked, but-- groceries.” She lets out a laugh. “Did you know they deliver groceries?”

He’s definitely smothering a laugh. “I sure did, miss.”

Right, because he’s probably the one that ordered it. Or had a PA order it, or whatever. “I didn’t realize they had, um, food.”

“Yeah,” he hums. “It’s popular around here.”

She goggles. “For groceries?”

“Sure is.” There’s a pause, and she can just feel his shrug, even if she can’t see it. “There’s Kroger’s too, and I think a Stop and Shop a few towns over, if you look real hard, and a Wegman’s that just opened in the strip mall--”

“Do you live here?” She cringes. She could really do to sound less interested. “I mean, close by? Nearby?”

“Close enough.”

She raises a brow. That was more than a little cagey. “Close enough to know all the grocery stores.”

“Close enough for you to tell my boss I’m a very helpful handler when review time comes around.” He lets out an amused huff. “I can tell you who has the best pizza too.”

“Oh, um.” She’s half-tempted to ask, but that seems-- personal. He might like that greasy Mediterranean style, and she just-- she doesn’t need to know that about him. “Well, you can give my compliments to the person who decorated the house. It’s lovely.”

“O-oh?” He’s suddenly removed, almost shy. “You think so?”

She runs a hand along the duvet, floral and yet somehow not grandmother-y. “Very. She did a great job.”

“Right. Yes. She did.” He hesitates, clearing his throat. “Anything in particular you like? For, uh, feedback reasons. She loves to hear specifics.”

“Well, the kitchen is--” Shirayuki sighs, content-- “heaven.”

“The kitchen is the heart of the home.” He coughs. “I mean, that’s what she says. A lot.”

Shirayuki smiles. “Well, she’s right.”

“Mm,” he hums, absent. “And the couch is okay?”

“It’s the perfect softness,” she enthuses. “I don’t disappear into it, but it still hugs you, you know?”

“Good, great.” His fingers drum in the background. “That’s the hardest part.”

“Oh?”

“I mean--” he hesitates, so long she can hear him breathe-- “so she says.”

“It’s perfect.” Shirayuki settles back onto the pillows-- there’s a thousand of them, just like she likes, all different sizes and shapes, a veritable army of throw pillows like any self-respecting bedroom should have. “And I haven’t slept on it, but the bed--”

Shirayuki stops herself. He isn’t-- Obi probably isn’t the best person to be talking about beds to, not when her lips still tingle from touching his. That’s not...safe.

“It’s fine,” she finishes lamely. “Is there anything else she’d like me to compliment? I’d be happy to get her into heaven, if she wanted.”

“I think she’d be happier with a raise.”

She cocks her head, pressing the phone between her ear and shoulder. “Something to mention around review time?”

He sniffs. “Only as an addendum to how handled you feel under me.”

He doesn’t mean it as-- as anything, just trying to be funny, but something sweeps through her, not heat but-- but something like a shiver, like the tingle of a limb waking up, and she’s not sure if she likes it.

“Well,” she manages, mouth utterly dry, “I don’t know how they’ll feel about the nickname Sugar Daddy...”

“Ah, well.” He at least has the grace to sound contrite, even if it’s in no way sincere. “You’re welcome to change it. You’ll be paying for all this yourself anyway, soon.”

It’s good they’re on the phone; he can’t see her grimace. All this on what will probably be an adjunct’s salary. She feels faint just thinking about it.

“Which reminds me,” he continues, “I’ll send over your new resume tomorrow. You’ll probably want that when you apply for jobs.”

Shirayuki bites back a groan. It’s a herculean effort not to ask why the government could pay for all this upfront, but somehow not arrange for a tenured position. Or at least an interview. “Great.”

“Is there anything else you need?” he asks. “I’m here to serve.”

“Aren’t you here to handle?” The words just fall out of her before she can stop herself. “I mean, ah...”

This is terrible, how much she wants to impress him. Shirayuki’s known him for less than twelve hours, and her palms are sweaty just talking to him. Every time his voice drops, she thinks about how he laughed as her mouth chased his, how he’d said I’ve missed you too--

Ugh, if this is what middle school was like for everyone else, they can have it back. This is torture.

“Handling you is already the most fun I’ve had in years,” he remarks, so casual, like he doesn’t even know how that’s going to make her heart misbehave in her chest. “But nothing else.?”

She doesn’t want to end on this, on her just blurting out an innuendo and letting him think she means things, so she grabs at the first thing she can think of. “Can I change the landscaping?”

“Wha--?” he replies, eloquent.

“It’s just…” She clears her throat. “Lawns consume a lot of water, and just are for show. If I put in a garden, or natural grasses, I could—“

“Sure,” he chokes out. He’s laughing. “I think you can do whatever you want.”

“Great.” Now he thinks she’s--weird. That’s fine. That’s...probably accurate. “Good. So, um, good night?”

“Yeah.” It’s quiet when he says it, a little more than a breath. “Good night.”

Shirayuki thumbs the End Call button, watching as Sugar Daddy flashes before disappearing from the screen. That went...well. As well as could be expected, considering how all she can think about is his hand threading through her hair and his hand at her back and--

Things. Professional things. Professional things she can totally handle. Because she is not thinking about how her handler could definitely handle her, and--

She takes another breath. In. Out. It’s fine. She may be experiencing this whole-- attraction, but it will pass. Hopefully. And if it doesn’t, well... she only has to deal with this for the rest of her life.

Shirayuki drops the phone like it burns, claps her hands over her face, and screams.

#obiyukibingo2020 #obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #witness protection au #my fic #ans #this whole fic is just shirayuki being an awkward turtle in every situation #i'm sure she'll find her footing #at some point #but it won't be any time soon #and obi just thinks it's adorable #and also a problem #his own personal problem

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sscolariwords · 6 years

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It begins with smoke.

This is nothing new from the old house with the flaking paint and overgrown lawn, at the edge of Hateno village. The youth that owns it is widely known as eccentric. A soft-spoken, polite, and very helpful young man to be sure, even if rumors that float back with the peddlers are odd to say the least. And it isn't uncommon to see smoke rising from the chimney, given his predilection for cookery in all its facets.

However, it seems to be rising from the windows as well, heavy with the stench of char.

One or two folks look up when the door bangs open, Link rushing out with a blackened skillet towards the drop-off that encircles his property, but don't investigate further. Not their business, that. Nor do they pay any mind when that girl he'd brought home a week prior rushes out after him, begging forgiveness with every with every step.

“-swear that I will get you a new one, Hylia as my witness!” she's crying, cheeks flush with mortification, “I had no idea that oil reacted that way when exposed to water of that temperature!”

“It's fine,” he replies urgently, before hucking the entirety of the skillet's contents into the river below.

“I didn't! Goddess have mercy, just once I wish something would go right for me!”

“It happens to everybody.”

“Not to you! You can just throw ingredients in a pot and all but dance themselves into lunch for-”

Her point is cut off as the door swings shut behind them both. Folks stare a moment longer, until they're satisfied that there'll be no smoke. Eccentric, those two. But again: not their business.

***

Link comes downstairs a couple days later, and finds Zelda has commandeered his table (and a large chunk of the floor) to accommodate a veritable carpet of literature pertaining to cookery and the mechanics thereof. He quirks an eyebrow.

“I'm doing research,” she replies without looking up from the three individual tomes she's glancing between, “On what exactly constitutes a 'pinch of salt'. Or 'golden brown'.”

Her host steps away for a moment, returning a moment later to set a ceramic jar before her. The princess pauses in her investigation to watch as he unscrews the cap, revealing a mass of granulated salt. She scowls as Link makes a show of offering his thumb and forefinger, pinches a small quantity of the mineral, and then presents it to his liege.

“But not everyone in the kingdom has fingertips!” she retorts, “If I were a Rito, I'd have been thwarted by the ingredient list!”

The Hero shrugs, not committed to dissuading her, before recognizing the book to her right. Not just the title; he knows its scuffed and battered cover, the missing top-right corner, from the kitchens of Hyrule castle. It had been utilized as a missile against him many times by the eternally frazzled head chef.

“I wanted something normal.”

Link looks to Zelda, who takes refuge from his inquisitive gaze in the depths of the manual. “Something familiar. Remember? When a company of knights accomplished something marvelous, slayed a Lynel or ran off a Yiga band, my father would commemorate their heroism with a great feast. After we destroyed Ganon, you cooked for me. I wanted to...”

She freezes as a calloused hand finds her shoulder, offering a comforting squeeze. “You're not your father,” he says kindly.

The Princess purses her lips and bristles, ready to give him an earful, though the words die on her lips when she whirls and finds such warmth in his eyes. She has gooseflesh beneath his hand and it lingers for a long while after he pulls away. The Hero explains bokokin have been sighted by the old Hateno Fort, and planned to “move them along”. He'd be back tomorrow. Zelda spends the rest of the night thinking on what he'd said, how such a dismissal could be meant as a positive.

When she finally happens upon the meaning, the books become pointless.

***

Link returns to find a furnace protruding from the side of his house. That's not to imply that it had been idly abandoned there, as a Hinox would drop a tree trunk. It's bolted into the wall and part of the chimney, familiar orange circuits threaded throughout the structure the stone. The Hero grimaces, scars across his body prickling in remembrance of the destructive nature of Sheikah technology.

He's even less enthused when the door slams open and Zelda comes scurrying out, making a beeline for the furnace.

The Princess has abandoned her finery, trading it for one of his shirts and a leather apron, hair in a bun and tied with the straps on a pair of goggles she must have pilfered from Purah, up the road. She's soot stained, glistening with perspiration, and whispering to herself with such manic fervor that Link wonders if perhaps he's looking at a stranger. He finds some semblance of familiarity, however, when he's able to approach within arms reach of the young woman without her even noticing him, until she whirls around and nearly barrels right into him. He grunts and she squeaks, beginning to offer an apology before recognizing her knight.

“Link!” she exclaims, face brightening instantaneously, “You're back! And with perfect timing; you need to see what I've made!”

He takes a moment to glance at the furnace again, before looking back to her, discomfort written in capital letter across his face.

“Oh shush,” she says, “You'll like this.”

Zelda leads him inside by the arm, and he would admit to being slightly relieved, if pressed. Despite the bulky addition to the building's exterior, the apparatus within is at least smaller than expected. But though he recognizes the shape of a stove and oven, azure flames lick the bottom of the device. Curiouser still what appears to be a bugle suspended above the device, the nadir of which feeds into a container that is secured into a bellows, of all things. Before he can ask for an explanation, the Princess is shoving him down into a chair, and darting to and fro about the living, room, grabbing ingredients from his icebox, cupboard, spice rack and laying them beside her invention.

“I realized that my mistake was attempting to think like a chef,” she says, taking a skillet, laying it atop the stove, and coating the surface in oil, “All those books were written for people who think in terms of food: gibberish to me. But, once I considered the idea that I had to approach this conundrum like a scholar, then everything changed!”

She pulls a lever on the side of the oven, and the stove-top erupts in blue flames. Link hisses as the wall behind it blackens, but the threat of burning recedes with the fire and his princess reduces its spread by twisting the handle. Even at a simmer, the oil is hissing within moments, and she wastes no time dropping an assortment of mushrooms, meats and vegetables onto the pan. The heady aroma of seared beef swiftly fills the house, and the Hero cannot help salivating, despite Zelda's spiral into culinary madness.

“Artisans keep waxing poetic about the preparation of a dish,” she continues excitedly, “Using abstract terms like a 'pinch of salt'. But cookery isn't about flourish! It about knowing the liter to gram ratio before your ingredients become oversatured in oil! It's about knowing the precise temperature at which meat burns! The exact measurement of spices that produce the desired gustatory sensation!”

Zelda says this as she's loading the bugle with granulated salt. And pepper. And Goron curry spice. The list goes on, until Link is positive that the seasoning alone will be enough to burn his tongue off. But the Princess is utterly enraptured by her work, pumping the bellows like a woman possessed, chatter pouring over her lips faster than a Zora cuts through water.

“This is what I've been missing!” she cries, throttling a massive switch Link did not remember being there yesterday, “No magic swords, no divine intervention! I'm talking about practical solutions for everyday problems; I'm talking about SCIENCE!”

To say that she's laughing as she heaves downward on the massive handle would be too small thinking. The Princess cackles, a frenetic peal of mirth and triumph that drives hordes of nesting birds skyward in absolute terror. Of course, there's also the fact that the entire house quakes when she activates the bugle, the spices hurtling through the tube at speed, until they collide with the contents of the skillet with force equitable to a missile. The oven splits in half, the pan flips over, and the ingredients are catapulted everywhere with startling velocity. Zelda's laughter becomes a shriek of terror and Link avoids braining only by diving backward over his chair. The air cracks with the sound of breaking glass, breaking ceramic, weapons clattering to the floor along side pictures and pottery as the culinary projectiles hit everything. The scent of cooking food drifts off through the windows, and the room falls to stillness as both parties wait tenuously for another eruption. Then the Princess sinks to the floor, glowering at the room.

“Oh, that's right,” she grumbles, “ 'Normal' is synonymous with complete failure. Welcome home, Link.”

The Hero stands, regarding her silently, before bending down. When he rises again, he has a glistening mushroom held between his thumb and finger.

“Oh, come now,” says Zelda, “You don't want-”

But considering how quickly he pops it into his mouth, he apparently does. Her knight takes a moment to regard the flavor, chew it a bit. Swallow. When it's gone, his smile could have melted Hebra.

“Yum,” he tells her, “Thank you.”

The Princess blinks, reaches for a reply but finds nothing, settling at last on matching his grin tooth for tooth. Link pulls two apples out of his rucksack, offers one to Zelda, and then drops down to sit beside her, both of them surveying the absolute mess the house is in. Maybe this isn't normal. But it might be better.

#Legend of Zelda #Breath of the Wild #Link #Zelda #Fiction #Fan Fiction #Fluff #Mad Scientist Zelda #Because There's No Reason You Can't Have Fun #Even if You're Traumatized By The Lack of Normalcy In Your Life #slight zelink

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fandomlife-giver · 7 years

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His Maid, Competing

Summary: Spice is nice...Ah...Ahem, I'm sorry about that. I was talking to myself. A Phantomhive maid that can't make curry isn't worth her salt. Even the strongest attractor will be holding a curry favor with me.

Next time on Black Maid, "His Maid, Competing" You see, I am simply one hell of a maid.

Pairings: Eventual Sebastian x Demon!reader

@wintersdoll

Warnings: Violence

Word Count: 4608

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Everyone's attention was on the royal newcomer, surrounded by her bodyguards with her butler beside her. "Oh, my word!" The announcer awed and bowed his head respectively. "Our gracious queen, her majesty and mother of England, Queen Victoria!"

The audience murmured amongst each other as she and her butler walked down the parted aisle. The viscount stood from his seat and outstretched his arms. The crowd joined in once he began. ♪God Save Our Gracious Queen, Long Live Our Noble Queen, God Save The queen♪ ♪Send her Victorious, Happy and Glorious♪

By glancing around, you noticed you weren't the only one not singing along with the crowd. Sebastian and Lau silently watched - Sebastian with his eyes glued to you. It was foreign to you. When you tore away your gaze from Sebastian, you saw that Ayani was even more confused when they began to sing. That's right, this entire event was foreign to her.

♪Long to Reign Over Us, God Save the Queen♪

By the time they had finished, The Queen was standing in front of her throne, with her butler by her side. He leaned down and she whispered something inaudible in his ear, before he stood straight and faced the crowd.

"Her majesty bids me tell you: I am so sorry I am unable to appear before you. However, I am in such perfect health that I may even enjoy curry again. My late husband was exceedingly fond of curry as well. I look forward to your food."

The audience erupted in a roar of cheer and it made you smirk out of amusement, especially when Ciel's face paled as he looked up at you. Well, a bets a bet. Right, young master?

The announcer looked back to the crowd. "And with that, Ali Cuisine!"

. . .

Soma looked up from where he sat at the sounds of cheer coming from the stage. "So it has started."

Flashback...

She then scoffed and looked at him as if he were an idiot. "How stupid are you?"

He looked back down at his lap with a sigh. . . .

You hummed to yourself as you tied your apron around your waist. Your eyes went to Ayani as she pinched spice after spice at a fast pace and combined it into her pan, making the crowd watch her intently.

"By joe! it's like that woman's hand has a mind of it's very own!"

"And it smells wonderful!"

West smirked and crossed his arms from in the crowd. "Ha. I paid for this. The hand of Kali. With her, I'm sure to win."

You chuckled and began to match her actions. West's smirk dropped as the crowd's attention turned to you. As you tossed certain spices into your pan, the crowd awed.

"And Funtom's not doing bad at all!"

"It smells amazing!"

West snarled and rubbed his chin as you smirked at him. That maid... The man beside him pointed at you as if you were mad. "I say! What is she doing?!"

You kept a smile on your face as you dropped pieces of chocolate into your pot of curry.

West laughed. "A kid's company. Of course they'd use chocolate. Just a bid for publicity."

You plucked another piece and paused to look down and lock eyes with Ciel. He shifted when you looked at him with a small blush on his cheeks.

Ayani stared at you and the chocolate with wide eyes. "He is wrong. That is a legitimate ingredient. Blending kakoule provides an aroma and bitterness and gives it a mellow, full bodied flavor."

You paused to stir it, then bring the ladle to your lips. You hummed in approval, then looked across at Ayani, who was still staring at you. "Where did you find an idea like that? You are a woman of England, are you not?"

You licked the curry from your lips and smiled. "It was an order from my master." Her eyes widened.

Flashback...

Sebastian smirked. "Well, there's a surprise. You want to waste a plate of sweets, do you?"

He glared at Sebastian. "Just drop it into the curry or something."

You wiped the excess chocolate from your lips and looked at it, then her. "I do his bidding. No matter how reckless his orders seem to be." You sucked the chocolate off your finger and smiled. "You see, I am simply one hell of a maid."

Her eyes narrowed. "You promised me you would play fairly."

You were taken back and put a hand over your stomach as you looked down. "No. I made a deal. I make no promises to simple humans. Be that as it may, I cannot go against an order from my master, my words are meaningless if they are against my devotion."

You rose your gaze to her. "Don't tell me, after all this time, after the crimes you've committed, you wouldn't do the same?"

A small gasp escaped her as you hummed with a smile.

Lau smiled as you put the chocolate in. "What an interesting choice."

Ciel closed his eyes with a sigh. "Damn. Y/N, what the hell are you doing?"

Your ears perked up and you snickered as you glanced back down at him.

Ayani's eyes widened as she saw you both look at each other.

"Such a bond between servant and master." She looked around in the crowd for any sign of Soma, and frowned when she didn't see him.

My prince...I knew you would not forgive me for this. She looked up with determination and bent down to pick up a basket. But that is exactly why I cannot loose. It is time. She grabbed the contents and pulled out a blue lobster.

The viscount slammed his hands on the Judge's table and stood with wide eyes. "It's the legendary blue lobster, said to only exist in the seas of Brittany! It's beautiful blue shell wraps around like a dress wraps around a woman. So perfect, so magnificent! And it's flavor is so perfectly exquisite! The sweetness of the blue lobster has been known to paralyze men before!"

West pointed at Ayani. "Exactly!" He crossed his arms with a smug smile. "You can't just add anything to curry. You see, mine is the truly sophisticated recipe."

Ayani stared at you with a snarl. "Whatever happens, I shall defeat you. Prepare for me! I have the hand of a goddess!"

You rose your eyebrows as she sliced, skinned, and chopped at an inhuman speed. You could hear the tiny screams of the poor blue lobster as it fell victim to the powered wrath of a goddess. "Oh dear, you are indeed a deathly determined chef. What a brutal cooking contest."

One of the other chefs adjusted his glasses and looked at Ayani with wide eyes and looked down at his curry with decreasing confidence. He glanced down and pulled out the bag of spice provided by the white-haired girl and sprinkled in the glowing purple substance. . . .

"Time up!"

You all stood opposite and side by side from the table of judges. "And now for the judging!"

"Up first, we have Parson Tub's beef curry!" One of the chefs took a breath and walked up to the table, unveiling his dish.

The first judge smiled. "The beef is thickly cut and served in generous portions! I say, not a bad recipe."

The second judge frowned and shook his head. "But the dullness of the flavor makes this a disgrace." He glared at the chef. "A professional chef using curry powder?"

The Tub chef's eyes widened.

The viscount swallowed the spoon full of curry and looked at the second chef presenting. "I assume that your company blends it's own spices, correct?"

The chef adjusted his glasses. "Um, yes, we do."

He hummed and looked down at the curry. "Interesting. There's one particular scent in here that I like."

His eyes widened as he adjusted his glasses again. The second chef scoffed. "But if that particular scent stands out, that means the whole dish is out of balance."

The viscount shrugged. "Well, we can give them credit for trying."

"Next, Harold West and Co.!"

Ayani stepped up and placed the dish on the table. "I am happy to present my dish." Once she uncovered it, it revealed a variety of curry recipes surrounding the prepared blue lobster placed in the middle. "Seven types of curry with blue lobster."

The second judge awed. "So vividly colorful!" He took a bite and his eyes widened. "Delicious! Perfect sweetness and the taste is like butter melting on your tongue!"

The first judge smiled wider. "On top of that, she's given us seven different varieties of curry!"

The viscount exhaled a moan. "Oh, this is you! The beautiful woman I met at the ball that night! The seven jewels that adorn your neck, the brilliant gold broach, the perfectly matching bracelet! Your pearls in sapphire, the garnet choker, the lovely cameo! And on your finger, a ring of diamonds and emeralds, all showing off your natural beauty!" He stood up, grasping his chest. "My love, you stole my heart right then!"

The audience awed at him, while you stifled a laugh. My lord, it seems Mr. Chambers never did forget the impression you left on him.

Flashback...

He sighed as you handed him his fan. "Are you certain I have to wear this? Serving the Queen is one thing, but crossdressing is something else entirely."

You smiled. "Master, you know the consequences of being the Queen's guard dog. You do want her to support your new Funtom company, yes?"

He narrowed his eyes as he snatched the fan from you, turned, picked up his sapphire dress and mumbled to himself as he stomped out of the room. "That still doesn't explain why I have to wear these jewels."

You smiled to your self as you glanced down at your ring. And you thought it wouldn't work...

"Extraordinary praise! Perhaps her victory has been assured!"

West grinned as he pulled his hat over his eyes.

"But we have one more competitor left to go." The announcer turned and gestured to you and your dish. "From the Funtom company!"

You walked up and bowed with a smile. "I do hope you enjoy what I have to offer." You lifted the lid and the judges all stared at it in confusion.

The second judge frowned. "That's curry?!" He stood up and pointed at the uncooked buns that rested on the plate. "Now, just what are you playing at, young lady?"

You smiled. "My apologies. Allow me to show you." You turned and placed the buns in a pot of boiling water.

They all stood up. "NO! frying?!"

The servants all stared at you in disappointment. Bard stood up. "What are you doing, Y/N?! We aren't makin' donuts here!"

You only hummed at their reactions as you placed the fried buns on the plate and turned to the judges. "There. They're all ready now." You placed one on each of their plate. "This is Funtom company curry." You bowed again and stepped back.

The second judge scowled. "Well I don't see any curry."

The viscount kept his eyes on you in confusion, then looked down at the bun. "Hold on a moment...look at that." He picked up a knife and sliced down the middle, which opened to reveal curry surprise inside.

The judge's eyes squinted. "What's that?"

The viscount stared at it. "Curry on the inside!"

Ayani's eyes widened as West's jaw dropped. "What?!"

You smirked. "The Phantomhive company presents our own brand of curry. Behold, the curry bun!"

The audience looked with a mix of surprise and awe. "A curry bun?"

The second judge picked up a piece on his fork and once he took a bite, his jaw dropped. "Oh, dear me!" His fork fell on his plate with a clatter. "This is wonderful! The bread covering the curry is crunchy, yet fluffy. Giving the dish incredible radiance and texture!"

The first judge's eyes widened in awe. "What's even more amazing is the structure, which traps in all the flavor of the curry! Cut it open, and it's all there!"

The Viscount let out a load moan of extreme pleasure as his eyes moved on you in realization. He stood up with outstretched arms towards you. "You are the lovely maiden I met at the soiree! By day, you appear to be, but a graceful, seducing raven. But by night falls, I see your beautiful face. Your true face."

He rounded the table and stood in front of you. "I want you badly!" He hugged himself and sank to his knees. "I want to embrace you, my love!" His arms reached out to you as the audience watched in adoration.

You just stepped to the side and glanced back. Sebastian had a look that appeared calm, but the emotions in his eyes were threatening. The eyes you would see on a child if someone else was playing with his favorite toy. For some odd reason, you felt your cheeks warm. Hm, must be the heat.

And Ciel, well, he just shuddered and hugged himself, earning a curious glance from Lau.

"Yet another raving review! Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a real contest here!"

"Y/N." You turned to Ayani, who was gazing at you with a look of anger and surprise. "Tell me. Are you a..."

The smirk you gave her triggered a glare from her, which redirected back from you.

"The judges will now need a little bit of time for deliberation. In the meantime, the guests can enjoy any curry they like!"

Once the curry was placed on a buffet table, the crowd attacked it like a pack of mannered hungry wolves. A majority picked yours and Ayani's curry. But, it was the servants that made a beeline for your curry.

You smiled as Lau, Ran Mao, and Ciel walked over. Lau slowly clapped as he walked up. "Very well done, I must say. Wouldn't you agree, my lord?"

Your eyes traveled to Ciel as he hummed. "Well, I didn't think you would take my words literally. You certainly had everyone on the edge of her seat."

"Yes." Your eyes moved off to the right, which made Ciel furrow his brows. "My lord, Ayani had a brief decrease in her confidence, which I believe served as a weak point."

"What do you mean?"

You looked back to him. "Her master was absent." You looked back to the right, which Ciel followed and sighed by seeing Soma standing in an empty part of the castle. Without a word, he walked over to him, with you watching.

"Y/N." You turned and came faced with Sebastian who had a smile. "Might I have a word?" That was when you noticed Lau and Ran Mao were gone.

You hummed. "Remind me to keep an eye on those two."

His smile dropped. "My, my. You don't even realize what witnessing another man speaking of claiming you does to me, do you?"

Your face fell. Oh damn, not now.

"To think of him embracing you. Well..." He smiled again. "It turns into me thinking of ripping out his spine."

"Sebastian." You mustered up the most serious face you could have. "Since you can't take a hint, allow me to explain bluntly." You licked your lips and took a large breath. "I will never be your mate. I do not want you and it will be a thousand years before I will even consider it."

"Well, I am willing to wait."

Oh, right. We're Immortal.

"That's besides the point. Listen, it's time to end this fantasy of yours—"

"In your eyes, it may be a fantasy." You gulped as he stepped closer to you and kept his eyes with yours. "But, I see how I affect you. You may think I don't, but I do. I cannot keep my eyes off of you. Your figure, your lips, your eyes, I want to dominate them all. Your being- I want to dominate it and claim it- claim you as mine. And only mine."

Your mind went blank as you tried to process his words and come up with your own. And once you finally could, you breathed out the wrong ones.

"Sebastian..."

"Y/N"

You turned when the Queen's butler called your name and smiled. "Yes?"

"You are Funtom's curry chef. The queen is surprised and delighted of seeing her old servant again, and for memory, she would like a curry bun. Would you be so kind as to bring one here?" His face was emotionless as the Queen clapped her hands together and gave a small nod.

You smirked and bowed your head. "Yes, anything for her majesty." The crowd watched in silent awe as you walked over and bowed before her, handing her one of your buns. "Here you are."

She pulled off one of her gloves and picked up the bun. You moved to stand up, but froze. "Y/N." A small frail voice came from behind the veil. She said only two words. "Thank you, my dear cat." You smiled and stood up.

Once she took a bite, she whispered into her butler's ear. He nodded, glanced at you, then straightened up and looked directly at you.

"The queen says: You have created something a child could eat without the use of a knife or a fork. In doing so, you have reinforced a necessary equality between our nation's children and it's adults. For that, I thank you. Well done. You have contributed to our great country, miss. Her majesty is truly appreciative."

"Don't make me laugh!"

All eyes went to Mina, who was bent over the buffet table. "Don't flatter yourself. Equality? The future? Easy prospects for the queen of a rich country to speculate on!" She stood up and spun around. Your eyes widened at her form, that was glowing with a purple aura and her eyes that were filled with hot pink.

"But what do you even know?!" She pushed off the curry on the table with West running up and putting his arms around her.

"Mina! What are you doing?! You're in front of her majesty!"

In response, she elbowed him in the rib, which made him go flying across the area into a tree. A swarm of officers ran up in an attempt to restrain her, but she knocked them to the ground. "Shut up! You don't know curry! It is a caste marker!"

The judges stood up in alert, while the viscount smiled. "Oh, my. Her legs move with such grace, her hips are amazing. I'm sure, this woman is the goddess, kali, personified! Oh, how-" He didn't get to finish as he was knocked over by a officer that she threw.

It was at that moment that several members of the audience started glowing, same as Mina. Ciel's eyes widened. "The Queen!" He ran forward toward the stage, but was blocked off by two of those 'possessed'.

They all turned to him. "That smell. That's hatred. Hatred and greed." They all moved to circle around him. "The stench of the impure!" One grinned. "Snuff him out. Kill him." Ciel's eyes were wide, right before they were all struck down by you and Sebastian.

You smirked as you twirled the ladle in your hand. "Well, would you look at that, my lord. It seems Kali has risen."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Really, and who is this 'kali' ?"

As another ran up, you swung the ladle, used the base to pull the man to the ground, flipped, and used the front to snap his neck. "Long story short, she is a goddess of India, said to have faced a demon that challenged her."

He laughed in amusement as he threw a set of knives to four approaching possessed men and women. "Well, it appears history is repeating itself."

Ciel looked down. "According to the legend, Kali carried around a demon's head." He looked up at the both of you. "Let's say you - Shall we disprove the legend, then?" He looked at the possessed and frowned. "I order you to stop Kali!"

Sebastian put a hand over his heart while you put the ladle across your stomach and bowed your heads. "Indeed, my lord."

Right then, a group of possessed tackled Sebastian, who kicked a few off and began to fight a fast approaching group. As you moved to aid him, you were pulled back by none other than Mina.

Her legs moved fast to kick you, and since you were caught off balance, she succeeded and you nearly landed flat on your back, but you stopped yourself with a hand on the ground, while blocking a punch with your ladle. You twisted around, kicked her up in her jaw and flipped around to land on your feet.

She sent several flying fists to you, but you blocked each one with your ladle. As this happened, you smirked. "Your fast, I'll give you that." You frowned. "But you're no goddess."

She growled, and yelled as she kicked vigorously towards your head. You blocked each movement and spun around to kneel and sweep her feet. She jumped, but as she landed, you sent a kick to her face, which sent her flying across into the table.

More possessed began to surround you, until a yell was heard, and they were all on the floor. Ayani smirked as she put her back against yours in a fighting position. "I shall assist you."

You rose an eyebrow. "Shall you? You seem to have more energy than normal. Did something happen to make you this way?"

She smiled with a light blush on her cheeks. "Yes. And now, my happiness makes me invincible."

You smiled and looked back at the three you had your ladle pointed towards. "Good. The two on the right are yours."

"Right!" . . .

The Queen's butler chuckled as he and Ciel watched you and Sebastian, who weren’t too far away. "You have a fine maid and butler. I doubt they will need my help in this battle."

Ciel looked back at him as the butler frowned. "A bit strange though, isn't it? This is all because of some spice. But only certain people are affected. If it's that evil, wouldn't more people go insane? Really, if you think about it, there is nobody who can claim to be truly pure of heart."

Ciel's eyes widened as he looked down at the spilled plate of curry buns.

As you took down another possessed, you paused when something caught your eye. There was a flash of pink hair that disappeared behind a set of trees. You narrowed your eyes, unaware of Mina, who was running straight for Ciel.

Soma ran and blocked them. "No, wait, Mina!"

You turned and noticed her while Ciel yelled at him. "No, you fool!"

He had determination on his face. "Come on!" His plan would've worked, if Mina hadn't of slipped on a skinned blue lobster on the floor and collided with it.

Ayani's eyes widened. "My prince!"

"Y/N, Sebastian!" You both stopped and looked at Ciel. "The buns. Feed them the curry buns you made!"

You smiled. "Certainly." However, your ladle was grabbed by another possessed, and took you down with it. You head butted him and looked back at Sebastian. "Sebastian, you may want to feed this gentleman first."

He flung a curry bun towards you, and ducked, allowing it to instead invade the man's mouth as he fell to the floor.

Ciel stood afar and watched as you and Sebastian continued to throw curry buns at the possessed and scoffed to himself. 'Curry cooked by a demon. And it makes people happy. What an utter joke. And how utter liking. But, if she chose to infuse her dish with kindness and happiness, that's what they will get.'

You soared down and threw a bun at Mina, who still lied on the floor. "Madame." She let out a groan, but was silenced by the bun. As you landed, you both looked around and saw the possessed stopped glowing and sunk to the floor with headaches.

You waited until they all returned to normal, then you dropped the ladle. And as you looked up, you saw them. She grinned once you saw her and gave a mocking wave, while he smirked as he rubbed his chin and looked you up and down.

You narrowed your eyes and snarled.

"The queen bids me tell you."

You looked back at the queens butler for a second, before looking back, but they were already gone. With a scoff, you turned and walked away.

"The goodness of your curry buns has defeated the evil of the demon spice and healed those who had afflicted. Therefore, the winner for the royal warrant has been decided." . . .

You all watched as they carried stretchers of those who fell victim and were severely hurt or killed by you, Sebastian, and Ayani.

"How will they be treated?" Ciel asked.

The queen's butler smiled. "They won't be treated badly." He turned to Ciel. "Thank you. You have done very well today. I congratulate you on your success of obtaining a royal warrant." He looked back at the queen, who was surrounded by her bodyguards. "You have made her majesty very pleased."

"She bids me tell you: I'm sorry for your hardship. But know I have been watching your work closely. I am in the light as you are in the shadows. Though our positions are different, we strive for the same thing." He stopped to bow towards him. "I ask - can you please continue to aid her majesty?"

Ciel stared at him. "Yes."

He smiled. "Then I bid you farewell." He turned, and you all watched as the royals disappeared.

"I have to thank you too, Ciel." Ciel turned to Soma, who smiled. "If I would not have met you, I would be as selfish and bratty as I've always been. There are so many things I need to learn. All of England - No!- All of the world has much to teach me, and I am a willing student."

Ayani turned to you. "And I thank you, too." She knelt down to bow her head. "Your household has taught Soma and me many great things. What would we have done without you?"

You chuckled and knelt down, and with the hand not holding the trophy, you offered it to her. "Please lift up your head. I had my own reasons for my actions. You have absolutely no reason to be thanking me." She looked up at you with watery eyes. "The gods you worship are Kali and Shiva, they were able to realize their mistakes through pain, like you and Soma. You see? The old abbot is true - without pain, we can truly never hope for good."

She took your hand and stood up with a laugh. "I have learned my gods teachings through an Englishwoman. How embarrassing."

You smiled and walked away. "Nationality is irrelevant. All times and places are the same. Human nature is a static thing."

She smiled. "Yes, I understand now."

Soma's eyes watered as he embraced Ciel from behind. "Mina! My Mina left me!"

"Let me go!"

Ayani giggled. "I am very glad that we came to England. My prince and I both made friends ideally suited to us."

Your eyes widened. "A friend? No female has ever referred to me as that. You, Ayani, are the first."

Ciel growled in irritation as Soma sobbed into his back. "Go find a handkerchief!"

You smiled at them, but it dropped once you saw them again. You frowned as they disappeared into the sunset.

#sebastian michaelis x reader #black butler x reader #black butler fanfiction

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littlegreenpuppy · 7 years

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Fuck You Linda

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Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin Rating: Teen Words: ~3500 Summary: Do you hate suburbia? With its homeowners associations? And its rows upon rows of identical, two-story houses? And all those stereotypical families who are the very definition of White People™? And the minivans? So do Eren and Levi. Throwing a simple dinner party has never been so painful.

“I can’t believe I have to pretend to be nice to these people,” Eren complained, throwing down the plates as gently as he could.

Levi rolled his eyes, setting the other side of the table. “You don’t even know them,” he said, trying to play devil’s advocate. “They may be better than you think. Besides, this whole dinner party was your idea.”

“It’s not a party!” Eren stressed. “I’m just trying to make sure they don’t have anything to use against me. I know their type, and they hold the worst grudges and remember everything . If I don’t make up for missing that stupid ‘gathering’ of theirs because of work, then they’ll make the rest of your temporary reassignment terrible for me! They probably think I was too busy cheating on you to go or something!” The doorbell rang. “Oh god, that’s them…”

Levi chuckled and kissed Eren on the cheek. “I’ll finish setting up, if you want to greet them.”

Eren whimpered.

Linda and David were the first to show up. It was a dinner party, so of course Linda had to show up first. Grinning, she held her famous blueberry cobbler in her arms. Sure, Levi had said that his husband didn’t want them to trouble themselves with bringing something, but she couldn’t help it. After all, cooking all that food by himself? Surely Levi’s husband couldn’t have been able to make everything. He only had to cook for the two of them, whereas Linda always cooked for at least four.

Soon enough, the door opened, and Linda’s grin faltered.

The man who answered the door was so… young. He had jeans on and a button up shirt and messy, ruffled hair. But her senses came back to her quickly. He must be the help.

“Hello!” she chimed. “I’m Linda, and this is my husband David. We’re here for the dinner party.”

The helper smiled and held out his hand. “Oh, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Eren, Levi’s husband.”

Linda had to control her feelings, but her eyes still widened. This was Levi’s husband? The man who spends too much time at the ‘office’? Him?

“O-Oh? Oh! Yes. Nice to meet you too.” She accepted the offered hand, feeling like she was in a dream. “So you’re the infamous husband?”

“Infamous?” Eren laughed nervously. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that… He hasn’t been making up stories about me has he? Because I can play that game too.”

Linda laughed nervously back. “Only good things.” Eren led them inside, and she held up the cobbler. “So where can I put this?”

“You…?” Eren stared at the dish for a moment, then realization dawned on him. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! I said you didn’t have to!”

Linda’s laugh became less and less nervous. “Oh, I know, I know.” She waved off Eren’s objections. “But I just couldn’t help myself. I’m kind of the, heh, chef of the group.” Linda grinned guiltily. “I just love to cook! And I used organic blueberries and made the crust entirely gluten free!”

Linda handed the dish to Eren, who took it reluctantly. “Well… I suppose options for dessert are always nice,” he murmured.

“Oh? You made dessert, too?” Linda laughed on the inside. It was probably just a store bought cake or cookies.

“Yeah.” Eren shrugged and gave a half smile. “It’s not exactly my strong suit, but I made a couple different ones since I didn’t know what you all liked.” He headed over to the kitchen, which was too large to miss, and Linda and David followed.

“Well, I’m excited to see what you have,” Linda pretended to be actually excited, “and can’t wait for dinner to be over so I can see!”

Eren half smiled again, and looked almost relieved at the doorbell.

“Oh, that would be the other guests,” and Eren was gone a second later.

Linda looked around in the kitchen, noting the professional equipment and how it was much larger than she first thought. Poor kid probably had no idea what to do with most of it.

“You really shouldn’t show off so much in front of new friends,” David laughed, though he hardly meant it. It wasn’t his wife’s fault that she was simply a fantastic cook.

Linda raised an eyebrow, amused. “It’s not like I could have predicted my strong suit was his weakness.”

They both shared a quick laugh, then went to go see who else was there.

Karen and Michael showed up next with Susan and John. Carpooling, of course. What with Karen’s minivan. And shortly after, Mary, James, Deborah, and Robert arrived as well. Soon enough, greetings had been made, hushed comments between Linda and her friends about Eren had been exchanged, and then they were all seated around a wonderfully set table.

At least Eren could get that right.

They all settled in, Levi at the head of the table with Eren on his left and Linda on his left. Right across from Eren. And if she looked closely enough, she could see the hints of disdain on Eren’s face. He clearly didn’t want to be here, and she could only assume he’d rather be back at the ‘office’.

‘ Well, deal with it, honey ,’ she thought delightedly. ‘ If you didn’t want to be stuck to Levi, you shouldn’t have married him .’ Though he probably did it for the money Levi had. And from the looks of their fancy little townhouse, Levi had a lot of it. Gold digger.

“I think I’m about ready to eat, don’t you?” Michael prodded with a smile.

Levi shrugged, nonchalant as ever. “Sure. We were just waiting until you were all settled in. Eren?”

Eren gave a forced smile, and headed off into the kitchen with Levi following. Linda watched him go, disgusted. How could Levi stay with someone like that?

When they came back, their arms were full of covered yet clearly steaming serving platters and bowls. They strategically placed the platters around the table and pulled off the lids, Eren explaining as they went.

“I didn’t know what you all liked, so I made an… interesting mix of dishes. I’ve got red duck curry, a tabouli salad with poached pear and gorgonzola, grilled portabella mushrooms with artichoke polenta, whole lemon basil sea bass, paella, and gigot d’agneau pleureur which is… just kind of a fancy way of saying lamb roasted over potatoes.”

A rare smile from Levi appeared. “I thought something smelled good in there,” he said, sitting back down.

Eren gave a short chuckle and half grin. “It also just so happens to be my husband’s favorite dish,” he admitted.

The group stared wide eyed and open mouthed at the spread prepared for them. Linda most of all. She quickly shook off the shock. This was clearly just Eren trying hard to impress them. No doubt he’d spent hours upon hours with eyes glued to recipe pages he’d found on the internet in hopes of seeming superior. The effort was admirable, but he really should have stuck to something he knows rather than tread in her territory. Still, the dishes may look good, but it was the taste that mattered.

They started piling the food on their plates.

Linda eyed the food carefully, her plate giving off some of the best smells she’d ever known. But it couldn’t be that good. So she took a bite.

Anger.

Anger and envy were the first emotions she felt as the food melted in her mouth, the flavors spreading across every inch of her tongue. Each moment after revealed new and complicated flavors that complimented each other so well, it was as if the ingredients were soul mates meeting for the first time.

And the soft moans around the table meant everyone else was tasting the same thing…

Compliments were thrown, and Linda could see the tiniest bit of a genuine smile cross Eren’s face. He was no stranger to praise. So Linda waited, and once the praise had died down, she made her move.

“So, Eren,” Linda began. “Where did you find the recipes for all this?” Probably from some generic online recipe website.

“Oh, yes! I must know. This is absolutely amazing!” God, Mary, stop being so damn friendly. Linda was trying to tear down the cheater chef wannabe sitting across from her!

Eren paused, thinking long and hard about the question. “Um… I… don’t remember.” He seemed honestly confused. “Half of the dishes I just whipped up and the other half I’ve been making for so long they just come naturally to me. The only one I know I have the recipe for is the gigot d’agneau pleureur, but I don’t know where it is.”

How convenient.

Linda kept her smile, though. “Well, perhaps you remember the website you got it from? Or the book? I always get my recipes off of organicliving.com.” Now that was a recipe website.

“Oh, no.” Eren shook his head. “I didn’t get it online. I got it from a family friend. A chef in France.”

“France?” Linda barely managed to squeak out. This cheating twerp was friends with chefs in France? This kid probably just got out of college and he was traveling to fucking France to the point where he has friends there? No… no it was probably a pen pal thing… The internet can make anything possible.

“Oh, you’ve been?” Susan gushed. She’d go on about anything for years so long as it had something to do with France. Or rather, Paris specifically. “Was it for your honeymoon? John and I went for ours. Paris! So lovely! I wish I could live there forever…”

“Trust me,” Levi scoffed. “It gets old very quickly. And go for our honeymoon ? There’s no way. Too close to family.”

Linda wasn’t expecting Levi to comment, but his words only seemed to make it worse. “You have family in France?” Of course, her beef wasn’t with Levi, but if Levi had lived in France, then that made the possibility of Eren having friends there more plausible without pen pals…

Levi hummed, mildly shocked. “Oh… did I never mention that? I grew up there. Valence. Up until college at least. I would have attended college here, but I wanted to get out and explore the world outside of France.”

Eren smiled as his gaze focused on Levi. That genuine smile he’d had during the shower of praise. “And his mother was close friends with a chef who’d always come over on special occasions and make gigot d’agneau pleureur, so during one of our trips there, he gave me the recipe so I could make it for Levi.” Eren shrugged like his story was the most natural in the world.

Levi leaned back in his seat, amused. “You know, he said he’d never seen anyone with the ability to make it like him… until you showed up.”

Deep breaths, Linda… Deep breaths. French people were conceited anyway. He probably only said that to make Eren feel better. And sure, the dinner was delicious, but she just had to wait until dessert. There was no way he could beat her at dessert! And with how long it must have taken to make dinner, he would have never had time to make dessert too. The store bought cake theory still held.

Although… She could try one more thing…

“So, is any of this organic? Everyone here practically breaths organic.” And if they found out that anything here wasn’t…

“Not sure.” Eren pursed his lips in thought. “There’s a farmer’s market right down the street from us, so I just get my stuff from there. If the food is organic, they don’t call it that. Probably didn’t want to waste the money on an expensive label.”

Mary and Karen both gasped. “You have a farmer’s market around here?”

“It’s literally just around the corner.” Eren made a generic hand gesture. “I know most of the vendors there too, and they’re all really nice.”

“Oh, we should go to the farmer’s market more,” Mary exclaimed. “Organic is nice and all, but only when dealing with big corporate companies. The best food is locally grown.”

Great. Now all Linda had done was make Eren a savior for small businesses in their eyes. And friends with the vendors? Probably just to get free food all the time…

Thankfully, regular conversation ensued, with the mindless chatter giving Linda time to recollect herself. She listened intently, hoping for something to help her, but the closest thing she had was Deborah giving a comment here and there about how their house wouldn’t uphold the Homeowner’s Association standard. Hardly ammo that she could use. But her chance soon came as John asked Susan about how she was liking the dinner.

“It is good food, but there’s this one place right near the neighborhood that literally has the best curry I’ve ever had in my life!” Susan may go on and on about France, but Linda could truly count on her to help. Even if she wasn’t doing it for Linda. “They have actual Indian people there, so you know it’s authentic.”

Eren nodded, but his furrowed brows gave him away.

A blow had been made, so now Linda could kick him while he was down.

“So, Eren, how old are you?” she asked. Seeing the slight nods of her female friends, all of whom were eager to see the cheater fall, Linda’s confidence grew. “I mean… you look so young.”

There.

Eren’s brow twitched. Linda could see his shoulders tense and the hand grasping his fork clenched rightly. Struck a nerve, huh?

“I’m 26.” Eren’s voice strained.

“Wow! That’s quite the age difference there, isn’t it?” Linda kept her sarcasm to herself, but from Eren’s reaction, he could tell.

“What are you talking about?” Levi interjected, confused as ever. “I’m only 34. It’s hardly a ten year difference.”

“Still…” Linda wouldn’t relent. “Eight years. You’re both in such different stages of your life. That doesn’t affect you? I mean… I feel like someone so young would rather not be tied down so soon and would rather… explore.”

Eren was taking deep breaths. “What are you…?” But he knew exactly what she meant.

Linda leaned forward, resting her chin on the back of her hand delicately. “Or is the stability what you’re looking for?”

Eren took a deep breath and-

“Eren,” Levi suddenly cut in. “I hate to do this, but before I forget, could you go up to our room and get the book on France I have? After hearing about Susan’s trip, I figured she’d like to look at it.”

Anything Eren had been going to say were swallowed up, and he left without another word. Linda sat proudly in her seat. The other women murmured to each other while the men picked at the food remaining on their plates. They were completely unaffected by the events, as they were used to their wives tearing others down. Their wives were simply competitive, is what they would say.

“Is there a reason why you’re hounding my husband?” Levi asked Linda, keeping his voice fairly low and completely calm.

Linda smiled. “I’m simply curious,” she explained. “I’ve heard more than one story about age differences in relationships. And considering all the time he spends at the office…” She hoped the slight stress she put on office would give Levi the hint he needed, but alas…

Levi met Linda’s eyes, cold and serious. “I appreciate the thought, but how about you leave my relationship between me and Eren. Now lay off .”

A shiver ran down her spine, and something told her she never wanted to see Levi actually angry. But… he didn’t understand… Levi didn’t understand that Eren was cheating on him. Still, Linda nodded.

“Good, now…” Levi stopped. “Wait… did you say office?”

But Linda couldn’t respond as Eren came back down, still looking a bit put off but surprisingly happier.

“I put the book by the door for you,” he told Susan, who nearly exploded in her seat. “There are some pictures taped in there that we took ourselves.” Eren turned to the rest of the table, a bright smile on his face. “So who’s ready for dessert?”

Sometime in the conversation, the food had been all but demolished. So the table cheered their agreement, and Eren left to grab the food. Linda settled in her seat as she waited to see what he had. The image of a store bought cake seared into her mind. He would not beat her here.

At least that’s what she thought.

“So, like I said earlier, I wasn’t sure what you all would like, so I made a few different dishes. I have napoleons, also called mille feuille. More French. I’ve got mocha buttercream macarons, chocolate pate a bombes with a raspberry ganache, a red velvet and vanilla crush torte with a buttercream spread, and homemade baklava. A family recipe. Oh, and… Linda brought a blueberry cobbler.”

Linda could have cried.

The table gathered their share, and melted all over again.

“Oh, Eren!” Karen cried through a mouthful of dessert. “Where did you learn all of these recipes?”

Eren paused again, curious and confused. “You mean Levi didn’t tell you?”

“Apparently not.” Levi shrugged. “Because they seem to be under the impression that you work at an office.”

After hearing that, Eren met Linda’s eyes, smiling smugly.

“Oh… well, I went to school for culinary arts, you see. And now I’m the executive chef at a restaurant I co-own downtown.”

‘ Now I’m the executive chef of a restaurant I own. Oh look at me. I’m Eren and I’m so perfect and amazing. ’ Linda wanted to leave.

“Wow… really? Which one?” Stop talking Karen. If you even knew how many calories this stuff had in it…

“St. Maria’s.”

“No!” For a moment, Linda didn’t realize that had come from her. Thankfully, Deborah spoke right after.

“You’re kidding!” Deborah gasped. “I love that place! It’s been winning awards ever since it opened! And it’s topped the To Dine list on every local magazine for the past two years!”

Eren smiled fondly. “Yeah, but unfortunately, I tend to work late into the night because of it. And it’s the reason why I couldn’t join you that first night.”

“Well if this is what we get when you miss, you should work those nights more often!” Karen. Stop.

Eren’s smile widened, and while to everyone else it might’ve looked genuine, Linda knew something was coming. “I’m grateful everyone likes it. And my restaurant. It’s certainly given me quite a bit of my own stability .”

There it was.

The words shot like daggers straight at Linda. She glanced over at Levi, hoping he’d send Eren away again, but he simply sipped on his drink as if Eren wasn’t even talking.

“And to think…” the grin on Eren’s face was infuriating “…I’m only 26.”

Linda was silent the rest of the night. It was only when they were safely in the confines of their car that David thought it okay to confront her.

“The food wasn’t all that great-”

“The food was amazing and you know it.” Linda was bitter, but she could admit that. Albeit bitterly.

“So he can cook,” David scoffed. “You can too! His dishes were just fancier.”

“They were exotic . Ugh!” Linda’s hands clenched her hair, wanting to rip it out. “How stuck up is he? He probably thinks we’re all heathens because we eat things like roasted chicken and simple spaghetti.”

“He’s just used to cooking fancy,” David trying to rationalize, “thanks to that restaurant of his.”

“That’s the number one place to dine in this city! And it’s only been open four years! Which means… which means he opened his first ridiculously successful restaurant at only 22!” The night just kept getting worse and worse for her. Linda’s friends would never want her cooking for them again! Not as long as Eren existed…

“You know what,” David said. “Let’s let him have it. Because he can be taught for centuries the ways of the kitchen,” a smirk, “but we both know who owns the grill in this town.”

Slowly, the smile began returning to Linda. She began feeling better. “You do.”

Because it was so true.

“And he can add whatever crazy ingredients to his food, but nothing beats a good old fashioned barbecue.”

The grin kept growing. “Your burgers and hot dogs are the best.”

“And in a few weeks…” David laughed. “I’ll put him to the test.”

A test he’d surely fail! That fancy college degree in the kitchen was useless in the rugged outdoors. Oh sweet, sweet revenge.

“I love you so much…”

#here it is #snk #ereri #fanfic #look at all this suburbia nonsense #I wrote this like a year ago btw #my writing has probably changed a bit since then #I can believe I posted this #when was the last time I posted something snk again?#I don't remember

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hoteles5estrellas · 7 years

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My SO, her two daughters, myself, and my son, went to Japan for spring break. This was my 4th trip to Japan. My SO is originally from Japan. Besides family, we also visited some of her numerous Instagram friends, all of whom are obsessed with Shiba Inu, so lots of dogs as well. This was more of a coming home for a visit trip than my previous touristy trips. It would also be my son’s first time out of the US (besides Tijuana), so it was great to see Japan through his eyes. Here is my report.

Day 1 – Me+SO fly from STL to LAX on Southwest CP (12349 SW/Premier + Plus) and stay at LAX Travelodge ($99)

Day 2 – Breakfast at LAX KE Lounge (2x Priority Pass / AMEX Plat and Prestige) and fly ANA Y LAX–ITM (2x $525 one way). Paid for on AMEX Plat 5x MR + ANA AMEX offer for 20k MR). I was so impressed with ANA. Had only flown AA to Japan before. Enjoyed the 34” pitch (I’m 6’4”), and the food/service was much better (real flatware in coach!)

Days 2-3 – Two great nights at the Intercontinental Osaka (50k IHG +$200). Gave us a corner room, 2 free drinks and breakfast discount. Loved the room layout with an impressive Japanese style bathroom, a foyer with closet and desk (complete with free snacks every day), and a couch for lounging by the corner window to take in the river view. Decent onsen on-site, but it is on the 4th floor, which requires you to go from your room down to the 20th floor, then down another elevator to the 4th. We are used to wearing yukata (provided in the room) to the onsen but got a lot of odd looks. Nice location with indoor access to mall connecting to Osaka station. Incredible breakfast buffet!

Day 4 – SO’s two daughters fly DL Y STL–HND (2x70k DL miles RT/DL Gold + DL Plat). My son flies UA Y SAN-HND (50k FlexPerks RT/FP Gold+FP Visa). SO and I take Shinkansen green car to Tokyo (2x J-Rail green car passes 2×33750 Barclay/Me+SO Arrival) to pick up kids at HND. All travel on Shinkansen green car to Iiyama station (29323 Barclay for kids’ tickets one way)

Day 4-7 – Stay at Kiriya Ryokan in Nozawaonsen (Free/SO’s family owns it – yay!). Check it out on Trip Advisor. About as genuine a Japanese experience as you can get. It is a mountain ski and hot-spring village. 13 public onsens and many ryokan with their own.

Day 7 – Shinkansen green car back to Tokyo (25k Barclay+$48 one way for kids)

Days 7-10 – Got the kids a cool AirBNB apartment in Toranomon Hills with a tatami room next to a station on the Ginza line ($502).

Me+SO stay at Hyatt Andaz (3x25k UR+$165/Me+SO CSP and InkPlus). Requested and paid for Tower view room upgrade. Totally worth it. What a gorgeous room/view. This was my best hotel experience ever. Not only was the facility impeccable, but they somehow made you feel at home. From the personalized check-in to the complimentary nightly wine service in the lobby, they were all class. There was something about being able to walk in to the lobby and grab a Coke Zero out of the refrigerator that I just loved. And, even though I have come to expect excellent service in Japan, the staff at the Andaz took it up a notch with at least the appearance of genuinely caring about our experience. I plan on burning the rest of my UR balance on return trips to the Andaz.

Day 10 – Kids fly home on their RT tickets out of HND. Me+SO drop them off and head to JL First Class lounge. I was able to pull off JL F tickets for us HND-SFO 14 days out (2x75k AA miles one way/CitiAAdvantage Plats x 8). They were the only F tickets that showed up that day to any destination in the US. I know the SFO route is short and a night flight, but it was so worth it. I heard that the lounge at HND was not as good as the NRT lounge. While the amenities were a bit dated, the food was very good and the environment was relaxing. The flight was everything I would have expected in first and more. The separate boarding door was cool. There were only 4 passengers in the cabin and three attendants. Besides the usual amenities kit, they gave my SO a face treatment mask. I guess they knew she was obsessed with those things. Previous reviews I had read said that there was not a full dinner on the flight, but there was one on ours, and it was special. I got the Japanese dinner and my SO got the Western, a choice I think she regretted when my meal came. My meal was in five courses and each one had its own surprise. The appetizers included a grilled octopus that had to be tasted to be believed. I gave my SO a piece and her eyes about popped out of her head. The main course had a beef dish that melted in my mouth. My SO got the coffee service and I had some crazy good sake. I finished off my meal with the Hibiki 17 and then it was time for bed. Since there were only four of us in the cabin, the attendants made up the other 4 seats as beds for us. I loved the PJs so much, they gave me a fresh pair to take home. After 4hrs sleep, we got up and had some a la carte dishes. I had the curry and a fruit plate and the Queen of Blue tea. Of course the service was amazing. I am sure they knew we were not typical first class passengers, but they still treated us like royalty. It was a perfect way to finish off the trip.

Oh, and then we chilled at the Centurion lounge in SFO (can’t hold a candle to the JAL lounge) and took SW home through LAX (20,354 SW with the CP). We were both flying so high from the JAL flight that not even the obnoxious patrons at the Centurion lounge, a 1.5hr delay, nor the crabby SW flight crew could wipe the smiles off our faces.

Here are some photos http://imgur.com/a/qJskQ

submitted by /u/cbciv [link] [comments]

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from Blogger http://travelers-hotel-reviews.blogspot.com/2017/03/trip-report-japan-my-first-big.html

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