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manjiroscum · 2 years

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pregnancy diaries: cotton candy

summary: the journey of motherhood is never easy from the first morning sickness to when the water suddenly breaks. such precious yet arduous nine months deserve to be recorded for memories.

character/s: bonten!sano manjiro

warnings: f!reader, mature language, hints of pregnant sex, nipple play, lactation kink, reader gets anxious, pregnancy, mentions of violence, mikey keeps a gun under his pillow, fluff, and use of pet names. Minors do not interact.

masterlist

wc: 4.1k

MONTH 0: WEEK 3

Dear pumpkin,

Your daddy and I just found out you’re already making a home in my tummy this morning. Amazing how things escalated, but we’re not complaining at all. I never thought you were the reason as to why I was suddenly feeling sick, thinking it was the sushi we ate the previous week. But turns out, I’m the only one feeling this way. The doctor told me you’re the size of a poppy seed right now. You’re so tiny… Can’t wait to hear your heartbeat angel and have sonograms of you. Your daddy is just as excited as I am. We all are, especially his colleagues. Love you so much, pumpkin.

“The lady back in the clinic, she told you to do this?” Manjiro peeked past your shoulder to see what you have written on paper. Hand absentmindedly rubbing your stomach, you hummed in agreement with a soft smile gracing your lips. Thoughts slightly distracted at the idea of a small life now growing inside of you, a product of you and your husband’s love. That and the endless nights of leaving Bonten’s headquarters earlier than the rest to have fun. While Manjiro never told you he wanted children this early, he was never opposed to the idea at all. Although, it did come as a surprise after today’s visit to the nearby clinic. And despite how hard he tried to remain emotionless, you definitely caught your husband shedding and wipe a tear out of happiness while he held your hand as the doctor announced your pregnancy.

“She said she did this with her firstborn many years back.” Relaxing into his palm that held the back of your neck, you watched as his onyx eyes read the words you wrote. A ghost of a smile on his lips. “I thought the idea is a good one. Not only for, you know, memories but for our little pumpkin, too. Something for them to read…”

“Pumpkin?”

You nodded. “Yeah, isn’t it a cute nickname? It’s better than to give them an odd one just to be unique, ‘ya know?”

“Would you also be writing that you’ve caused the scarcity of ice cream at the nearby 7-eleven?”

Whether he was joking or not, you couldn’t tell with the way he sounded so serious. Either way, you pouted at his words and crossed your arms together. “Wow, as if I’m the only one who ate ice cream these past few days.” Brow raised at him, you then squinted your eyes at your silent husband avoiding your piercing gaze. “I know you’re the one who ate my Häagen-Dazs, ‘Jiro. There’s no point in lying or dodging this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, angel.”

MONTH 1: WEEK 5

Dear little pumpkin,

Today was pretty unpredictable. I went to the clinic feeling a bit sad since your daddy said he might not make it to hear your heartbeat. If you will ask me why, please be patient since it isn’t something kids should know. Still, I will tell you once it is the right time. But just as I was about to head in, your daddy arrived with your Uncle Sanzu, as he would like to be called, in tow. Once again, I’ll tell you in full detail soon how chaotic it was. What matters is that we heard your adorable heartbeat. Your daddy cried at the sound of it and I did, too. You’re definitely growing day by day, my angel.

Eyes wide, your mouth was agape at the abrupt entrance of your husband and his right-hand man, Sanzu Haruchiyo. Blood splatters on their attire close to gleaming under the white light of the clinic. The mothers outside waiting for their turn along with their husbands were clearly suspicious and alarmed by their appearance. Who wouldn’t be at the sight of Bonten’s higher-ups and the evidence of their recent carnage in the clothing they wore? However, nothing mattered at that moment other than Manjiro's presence and the effort he had to exert to be here.

“I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to text you that I’ll be here,” Manjiro whispered, placing a kiss on your cheek before you were asked to lay on the bed. Those steely dark eyes never leaving you, ready to pounce on anyone who’d be stupid enough to hurt you while he’s around. “Was too caught up on getting here on time. Won’t happen again on the next visits, I swear.”

“It's okay, love. I’m just happy you’re here now,” you murmured, left hand in his and fingers intertwined with a squeeze. A comforting smile is what you shot him upon seeing how rigid his stance is while sitting on the stool beside you. “Don’t worry too much, ‘Jiro…”

“How can I not?” he whispered, still following your obstetrician’s every move. “You know I have a lot of enemies, angel—” The rest of his words died down when the hem of your shirt was lifted by the doctor. His thoughts were drowned by the initial fear of his enemies bursting through the door that Haruchiyo was guarding like an unmovable force. That was all that occupied and ran through his mind until a heartbeat broke through his noisy state of mind. Onyx irises locked with yours that were glassy as the sound of your baby’s heartbeat resounded in the four walls of the room. His grip on your hand tightened, although not painful or uncomfortable in any way. No, it was out of relief and other combinations of emotions that came out in the form of teardrops. “Angel, is that…?”

MONTH 2: WEEK 7

Dear darling pumpkin,

My love for you grows stronger as the days pass by. It hasn’t been easy waking up and feeling squeamish. Everything is changing, specifically mommy’s body to accommodate your nine-month stay. Sometimes, I eat food paired oddly that I normally wouldn’t even consider putting near my mouth. Thankfully, your daddy doesn’t say a word about it. You may see him as aloof at times, but he truly cares for us. This morning during breakfast, a rare sight of him cooking pancakes greeted me. And despite how he is rarely home due to the nature of his job, he comes back as much as he can and earlier than the usual times I’ve gotten used to seeing him. He can’t help but get excited to feel you kick soon. I kind of dread it though, cause some mothers say it will hurt at times. However, if it means you are healthy, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You stifled a gasp, head buried further into the pillow. Sweat coated the flesh under your chin. Sensitive—your breasts were super sensitive that you were quite sure if Manjiro would pinch them one more time, you’d cry out. Heavy was his gaze, hands cupping and fondling your tits. This wasn’t a new occurrence since your husband has always been fixated on them ever since. What was new, however, was the idea of tasting milk from them once you were lactating revolving in his mind among other things. No matter how many times you told him it hasn’t happened yet, Manjiro couldn’t stop massaging your nipples.

“Love, I-I need to pee…”

“Wait,” he murmured, leaning down to suck on one of the peaks, eliciting a muffled whine from you. The heels of your feet digging into the mattress at the touch of his tongue, hot breath awakening goosebumps on the flesh. “Lemme play more. Don’t you miss me?” Mouth pressing a chaste kiss on your left tit, he grinned down at your flustered expression. “Weren’t you just complaining that they’ve become tender?”

“Yeah, but…” Softly hissing, you fought back a moan when he popped the breast into his mouth, sucking on it gently. Ignorant to your nudges for him to leave you alone so you could pee. “‘J-Jiro, I really, really, need to go.”

MONTH 3: WEEK 9

Dear precious pumpkin,

Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night because I worry about your future. Your Uncle Sanzu blames it on the prenatal pills, but I hardly think that is the cause. I guess it is one of the many things I have to get used to now that I’ll have a child. Plus, there are times when I look in the mirror and see the effects of lack of sleep… It makes me sad. Lucky for me, your daddy has been nothing but supportive. No one at his organization believes he got out of bed at four in the morning to buy the cup of pudding and chilly sauce I wanted to snack on. The doctor said you’re about the size of a macaroni or an olive. Crazy to think a tiny being like you is making all these changes in me. I hope you’re growing well and healthy inside, angel.

Manjiro was close to throwing the mirror you were holding up to your face across the room or out the window and down to the busy streets of Tokyo. There was nothing wrong with getting acne or your stomach slightly bloating. To him, you were the prettiest woman he had ever laid eyes on and will always be until the end of time. But of course, you wouldn’t take his words for truth which frustrated him. And to think you were just doing your routine skincare before bed that led to this situation.

“Love, do you think I’m—”

“You’re not ugly. Practically fucking far from it, angel.” Taking his shirt off, your husband narrowed his eyes when you frowned in disbelief. It wasn’t until he threw his shirt on the nearby basket that he spoke up again, this time, his tone was more solemn. “Why on earth would you, my wife and the one carrying my child, ever be hideous in my eyes? Huh? It doesn't make sense. Explain that to me.”

“I don’t know…” you sniffled softly, warm tears starting to form and blurring your vision. Hand setting the mirror down that Manjiro was quick to pick up and flung it to the couch. It was a miracle it didn’t shatter with the way he threw it like it was mere dirt. Strong arms envelop your form, albeit not tight enough to cause discomfort for he was afraid to hurt you or the baby. Figure melting into his embrace, you inhaled the faint scent of the fabric softener from his shirt. “Sorry if I’m so emotional.”

“It’s alright, love.” Body pulling back slightly to grab your hand, he pressed a kiss on your knuckle. “Don’t ever think I’d see you as ugly because you’re fuckin’ beautiful. Especially now that you’re having my baby, angel. So fucking beautiful.” Hand patting your belly, he added in a more light-hearted tone. “And so is our baby.”

MONTH 4: WEEK 15

Dear adorable pumpkin,

Your daddy and I were super happy today. Not only do we get to eat at a delicious restaurant to celebrate such a momentous occasion, but we finally got to see you, my angel. As you can see in the photo below, you’re so cute and I wish I could hold you soon. The doctor said you’re the size of a pear and your daddy couldn’t help but marvel at the fruit, holding and imagining it’s you. I hope you could also hear him talk to you every night. I can’t wait to know whether you’re a girl or boy, but that doesn’t matter much to me for as long as you stay healthy. Love you so much, my sweet angel.

Looking at the sonogram of your baby, you winced when a tingling sensation ran in your gums as you chewed on the apple slices your husband prepared. Rim of the glass of water against your lips, you set the photo down and got up from the couch to look for Manjiro. The craving for ice cream, cotton candy and juice was aggravating you, especially since you were asked to cut back from the sugary stuff. The sight of your husband by the refrigerator snacking on a taiyaki made you groan in jealousy that caught his attention.

“What’s the matter?”

“Lucky you could continue eating sweets,” you mumbled, nearing the refrigerator to grab the leftover salad. Heading back to the living room couch with Manjiro in tow, you raised a brow when he didn’t sit next to you. Chewing and swallowing the avocados, lettuce, and strawberries, you raised a brow at him. “What? Come and sit down, ‘Jiro. I won’t bite. Wanna watch a movie?” Not waiting for his response, you grabbed the remote and switched the television on. Careful not to step on your toes or breathe the wrong way in your direction, your husband settled next to you.

Despite how quiet he is the entire duration of the film, he was thankful the deities above heard his prayers for once. The last time he annoyed you by just eating his sweets on the couch was the worst, having him evicted to sleep in the guest room.

MONTH 5: WEEK 18

Dear pumpkin,

I hope you are sleeping soundly in there. Sometimes, I feel like you’re trying to say something to me since I feel a sort of bubbling or fluttering inside my belly. Are you happy there? You’re getting bigger indeed and I can’t help but feel emotional every time. Daddy vows to keep you safe, especially now that I’ve become bigger and sometimes my lower back hurts. I can’t even believe I almost forgot about our anniversary. The doctor did say it is part of being pregnant that I tend to become forgetful. I just wish I wouldn’t get so dizzy easily. And if you must know, I decided to ask the doctor to keep your gender a secret in the end. Your daddy and I wanna be surprised after all. One of his friends told us to hold a gender reveal party, but your daddy loves his privacy like he loves his sweets. I hope you stay healthy as ever, my angel.

Manjiro wiped off the sheen of sweat from your forehead and chin using a washcloth. A satisfied smile on his usual passive features mirrored yours after a round of kissing and more. The dress you wore for tonight lay folded on top of his clothes. The gold Cartier bracelet he gifted you gleamed under the warm lamp light. Chest rising and falling to a steady pace, you reached up to cup his cheek, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to him. He pressed a kiss to your hand. Your husband then ran his palm smoothly on your belly. His black irises roved across your skin, caressing the stretch marks that streaked on your abdomen.

“You okay? Do you think the baby is alright?”

“Yeah, I’m more than fine. I’m sure the baby is, too.” Pointing to the direction of the bathroom, you slowly sat up. “I have to pee—mmph.” Carrying you in his arms gently, Manjiro didn’t say a word after he gave you a chaste kiss on the lips as he walked to where the toilet is. “I could get there by myself, you know. But thank you.” You giggled at his show of strength, arms wrapped around his neck and pecked him there. He merely hums in approval.

MONTH 6: WEEK 23

Dear little pumpkin,

There may be nights when bad guys might be out and about. But no matter what, I will keep you safe. Away from harm and silly ghosts that might try and scare you. However, we both have to be brave when we need to be. Your Uncle Sanzu suggested that we get a guard dog, but I think getting you a puppy once you’re a bit older to understand would be better. Plus, I don’t think your daddy is ready to welcome a puppy into the penthouse just yet. You’re a bit heavy now and it is sometimes hard to walk with swollen feet so your daddy is worried about my safety. Yesterday, I felt you kick hard in the middle of the night, which got me all giddy that your daddy got a bit spooked. You do pick the strangest moments to make yourself know, huh. Love you my darling.

“Woah, calm down.” You then sighed, rubbing your startled husband’s back after squealing out of delight at feeling your baby’s strong kick. The gun in his hand glistened under the moonlight, one he kept religiously under his pillow if anyone decided to sneak up on him while he was asleep. According to him, it has happened before—way back when he was still starting out Bonten. Thankfully, it hasn’t occurred since. But one can never be careless. Watching the way Manjiro tried to calm himself down and place the weapon into the nightstand’s drawer, you waited for his breath to even out. “Sorry if I scared you, love. I was… just excited.”

His eyes turned to look at you before asking. “What got you squealing in the middle of the night?” His voice was hoarse from sleep, eyes still squinted until you guided one of his hands to your huge belly. The bright grin on your face said it all. Happiness is certainly contagious that those soulless eyes had a tiny spark in them, fatigue immediately dissipating.

“I felt the baby kick, ‘Jiro. It was a strong one, too.”

“Really? Do you think it’s as strong as mine?”

“If it were, I’d have a hole in my tummy.”

MONTH 7: WEEK 26

Dear sweet pumpkin,

A few more months to go and you’ll be here in my arms. The doctor said you’re about the same size as a red cabbage. She also said you’ll be able to hear and see inside my tummy. After knowing that information, I’m sure you’ve been listening to the classical music I’ve been playing. Upon searching on the internet, it’s supposed to make you smarter. Your daddy is always looking forward to feeling you kick. I do wish he is around more often around this time of the year. But I can’t blame him since his job can be demanding. I hope you don’t feel lonely like me and enjoy the food I’ve been eating to keep you healthy. Love you so, so, much my little angel.

Feet aching and swollen, you shot a glance at your husband speaking with Sanzu and Kakucho. The bento box you made for you and Manjiro sat on the coffee table, still untouched. The trip to his office was an uneventful one, yet you were buzzing with joy upon riding the elevator up to where he is. However, you weren’t anticipating the meeting to take longer than planned. Hiding your discomfort was futile as a hiss of pain left your lips when you tried to move and get comfortable. Manjiro’s eyes were immediately on you, excusing himself to approach you and get on his knees to apply pressure on your swollen right foot.

“Angel, does it hurt so much?”

Seeing the lingering gazes of the two higher-ups of Bonten, you coughed. Silently hinting for Manjiro to stand up from his kneeling position. But that didn’t matter to him, brows pinched as he added more pressure to where it ached, having you almost moan out in contentment. Kakucho was the first to notice his boss’ sharp glance, quickly leaving the room. Sanzu, on the other hand, had the audacity to stay for two more minutes until your husband stood up and gestured to the door. Apologizing softly at the retreating pink-haired executive, you sighed in relief when there were no more judgemental eyes, back sinking further into the couch. Manjiro let out a puff of air at your actions, shaking his head lightly before resuming his massage on your foot.

“‘Jiro, that can wait. We must eat lunch first,” you muttered, yet lacked the conviction to have him stop completely which he noticed. “I bet you’re starving. You did skip breakfast to get here early…”

“Yeah, just let me finish this,” he murmured, continuing the kneading of your foot that produced more soft groans and asking him to do it harder from you. If anyone were to pass by, they’d think you two were having sex instead of a wholesome scene between husband and wife.

MONTH 8: WEEK 30

Dear lovable pumpkin,

Your daddy is such a silly man at times. You’re still in my tummy yet he wishes to give you a sibling so you wouldn’t be lonely while growing up. And while I’m opposed to the idea, I want to love you with all of my heart first as I will do so for your future siblings if there would be any. It is quite hard to walk around the penthouse because you’ve become so big and heavy. I look like a penguin waddling around, but your daddy says it is a cute sight to see. It won’t be long until you’re here with us. Everyone is so excited that Koko, one of your father’s friends, gifted us baby clothes. Suggested names for you were tossed onto the table, but it is quite hard to decide since we did keep your gender a secret. Please continue to be healthy, even if that means you kicking my tummy most of the time at night. I love you so much, my baby.

Mewling into the neck of Manjiro, you then let out a gasp when something leaked out of your breasts after he pinched your nipples. Many nights have passed since you were able to sleep peacefully. Backaches, more stretch marks, swollen feet, and the baby kicking was enough to keep any pregnant woman awake most of the night. Now that you were lactating, your tits were far more sensitive than ever. Your husband didn’t share the same bothered sentiment as you, contented in kneading and tasting the milk you were producing in the wee hours of dawn.

“Love, I-I don’t think I could take it anymore,” you sobbed, trying to pry off his hands from pinching your nipples until they were rock hard. “Aren’t you t-tired? You’ve been at it since we got to bed!” A stuttered breath from you met the skin of his neck when he leaned down to lick off the milk that dripped down to his hands. It was such an obscene sight that would have your hormones acting up, leading down to the path of soft sex but not tonight. You were far too exhausted for that now. “P-please? ‘Jiro, let’s g-go to bed.”

“Fuck. More, baby, let me see these tits leak one more time. Yeah? Just one last time and we’ll sleep.”

MONTH 9: WEEK 39

To my dear pumpkin,

These past few months have been the most magical I’ve ever experienced. Who knew having a baby was such an amazing thing? But I won’t deny how terrifying it can be, especially when the world you’re about to be born in is far from the common life that an ordinary mother can provide. Yet, know this… Mommy and daddy won’t give up on trying to give you a normal life, one that you deserve to have. Your father swears that he will keep you safe as he promised me back then, too. And I promise to be the best mother you could ever have. Time flies so fast indeed that I can’t believe we’ll be welcoming you soon. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, my little pumpkin. Your daddy is even giddier than I am, although he tries hard not to show it since I tease him. I hope that once you read this diary of our journey together, I hope it shall not only bring a smile to your face, but to those with whom you’ll share it.

See you soon, my darling angel!

“Say hi to the baby, angel,” Manjiro cooed, holding up his daughter wrapped in cloth. Smiling brightly at the baby girl, you reached out a hand to caress her hand that was wrapped around her father’s finger. Tears brimmed your vision. You fought back a sob as took in her tiny appearance. Eyes memorizing the curve of her lips and the shape of her eyes.

“Hi, pumpkin… It’s me, your mother.” Manjiro handed you the child, the corners of his lips curled up in undiluted happiness while he bent down to kiss your forehead and face multiple times. Love in every peck and whisper of you doing a good job after ten hours of labor. The pride in his chest was at an all-time high. “You’re so small and so beautiful. Yeah, look at you. She’s so beautiful, ‘Jiro.”

“Beautiful indeed,” Manjiro said in a hushed tone, still pressing kisses to your face. “My two angels. Thank you, baby. Thank you for giving me a beautiful daughter.”

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#pat.✍️fics #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tr smut #manjiro sano x reader #sano manjiro smut #bonten manjiro smut #cw.fluff #cw.smut #tw.lactation #tw.pregnancy

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transfem-hypnokitty3 · 4 months

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LMAOOO that reaction to my ask is so adorable XD

I agree sweetheart, "fuck" indeed~ it's what you're gonna be doing alot of for me when you're not wrapping your pretty lips and nails around my girlcock is fucking yourself on it like the needy fucktoy I know you are deep inside~ I'll turn off your brain and turn on your non verbal, slutty begging mode where you no longer know what you're begging for but you just love everything about what's happening and you don't want it to stop~ As I I make you huff my girl smell while bouncing you up and down on my eager cock, filling you to the brim while gripping and giving your irresistible ass a spank~ Watching your adorable little girldick bouncing up and down pathetically and eagerly for me~ I wanna fuck and make you feel so good while I'm using you, my pretty and needy set of holes with your tongue out and begging for me to cum in you over and over and pulling out and you stroking and worshipping my girlcock til I'm painting your pretty face in my cum and making you cum all over yourself from how good it feels to be teased and bullied and played with~ Gods you're so cute darling~ You were born and made to take cock and be ravaged and bullied by us~ By girls with fat cocks that are musky and looking for submissive, obedient pets like you eager to huff in their musk and worship their cocks til they drain every last drop inside of your mouth and deep inside of your pussy~ ;3 I'd love to make you ride my girlcock while grope your ass and tease and laugh at your girldick while edging you closer and closer to cumming all over and making you make a mess then demanding you to clean up your mess like a good pet, from the sheets all the way up to my chest and tummy, slowly making its way down around my tiny bush right above and around my girlcock~ Watching you clean up like a good maid and using your tongue efficiently to clean up your cream making me hard again and making me grab your head and forcing you back down on my cock~ Maybe I'll flip you around so I can get a personal look at your irresistible ass and finger and eat you out~ Or plug you up and grope you from behind while you're eagerly draining me of every last drop of cum~

I wanna fuck my cum deeper into you while another girl has already been creampied again and again, practically leaking our seed mixed together and having her dominate and sit on your face, making you eat her out and finger her and letting her ride your pretty face til she's squirts on your face~ Maybe we can have a gangbang where you're servicing alot of girls including me while being fucked from behind or being made to clean their cum filled holes and needy pussies pounded and filled with girlcum~ ;3

I also dunno about your inquiry about potentially I think was it being a cuckcake or something like that? Where you talked about basically being involved with a couple or two partners I'm assuming with consent getting to be fucked by one and servicing the other? Idk I don't hate it but if we were to end up like that I'd love to fuck my cum into you deeper and deeper and not being able to get enough of your tight holes while you eat and clean my cum out of the other girl~ ;3 You're just a pretty fucktoy for us to use after all~ Such a good girl for me, hm~? :3 I wanna hear you beg for more and more and never being able to get enough of me either~ Maybe I'll walk around in a short skirt and no panties so you can wrap your fingers around my girlcock before sucking me off in a private corner and eating me out and no one can make out exactly what you're doing aside from just being hidden under my skirt with you grinding and humping my leg and raising your pretty ass up~ Your panties flashing under your skirt while you get me to cum in your mouth and it's like a burst and leaves a little extra on your face as I lift you up and grope you grind against you after blowing me like a good, needy cocksucker~ I need you under my work desk everyday I swear~ I'm sure it's healthy to cum down your throat once or a few times a day for you~ 💙

Gods you're so cute darling~ You were born and made to take cock and be ravaged and bullied by us~ By girls with fat cocks that are musky and looking for submissive, obedient pets like you eager to huff in their musk and worship their cocks til they drain every last drop inside of your mouth and deep inside of your pussy~ ;3

Fuuuuck. You are so right. I was born to take cock, to take it over and over. From you, from other girls, from anyone. I want to be your little crick toy, I want to service you and your friends. God, you know I’m striking myself to this don’t you. Maybe I should put my Kelley’s behind my head and just stroke until I shoot all over my face, imagining you are making me do it.

#hypnokitty #ask answered

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strawberry-seed28 · 2 years

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Day 1 and 2: Acorns and Handheld

Thank you so much to @aaytaro-gt for giving the prompts for g/t inktober! Not sure how committed I’m gonna be this month, but I’ll sure as hell try my best lol

Another thank you to my beta Soldier Blade, you are a freaking lifesaver when it comes to editing <3.

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Acorns

“Whatcha doing?” Ostreatus turned to the human lounging on the couch, a book cast off the side of the cushion. She watched him intently as he carved, curiosity burning in her expression. He raised a brow, setting down the acorn and blade.

“Carving” He said, looking down at his current project. Sylvia sat up and her eyes flicking to the small basket of acorns that he’d been working on. After a few months of watching him come and go, it still surprised her when the borrower would bring something strange back to work on. This week, it was acorn carving. Specifically, hollowing out the inside of an acorn.

“How come though? Do you use it as some sort of tiny basket or something?” Ostreatus stared at her, before snorting out a laugh. It was a rare occurrence, but it brought a smile to her face nonetheless. He walked to the edge of the table, the in-progress acorn in hand. Sylvia turned to face him fully, curiosity shining in her eyes.

“Unfortunately, the bottom is too curved to really work as a container, though I do like where your heads at,” He began, tapping the hollowed seed in thought before shaking his head. “No, these are for the colony. From what I recall about you humans, you have a celebration known as “Halloweens” or something, but we celebrate our own version of that!” He said, his body language becoming more and more animated as he spoke. “It's called “Helios Falls”, and descends from when our ancestors would celebrate the nightfall tonight.” He said, a smile creeping onto his face.

Sylvia hummed in thought, listening to the rambles of him as he spoke. Normally, he would be reserved, only coming to shelter when he would be injured or lonely. At least, she thought so. This sudden excitement was strange, but she found herself enjoying it more and more as he continued. “The acorns are for carving faces, similar to the pumpkins you use, for masks or decorations. The kids love it and it's one of my favorite parts of the celebration” He said, and Sylvia's smile only widened in response.

Ostreatus noticed this, and quickly quieted down, a blush darkening his copper skin. Slowly, he sat back down, continuing to carve the acorn. Though she was disappointed that he was no longer openly rambling, she understood his discomfort from being watched. Slowly, she turned back to the book she was reading prior, letting him finish his work in peace. The hours flew by as she became lost in the narrative.

It was only as the sunset streamed through the windows that she noticed him in his traveling gear, strapping the large skullcap mushroom to his messy black curls. The basket of acorns sat beside him, each seed hollowed out fully. Ostreatus turned to her, a small grin on his face.

“Leaving so soon?” Sylvia joked, a teasing smile on her face. He huffed, though the smile on his face showed his lack of anger. He grabbed one of the acorns from the basket, cradling it as if it were a porcelain figure. Slowly, he stepped forward, his cheeks slowly turning a deeper shade of pink. Sylvia became puzzled at the display, but walked over to the table nonetheless. Gingerly, Ostreatus presented the carved acorn, and she quietly gasped.

“Please be careful with it, I-I worked hard on it” He said quietly, his gaze fixated on the ground below. She could only nod in response, her voice escaping her as she studied the seed. It was the acorn from earlier. Her initials were front and center, yet she noticed a variety of flowers and bugs carved near them, all made with care. She slowly took the acorn from his grasp, noticing the little hole at the top so she could wear it. Never in her life had someone gone this far out of their way to make something this special. Carefully, she maneuvered the acorn from her hands onto the table before facing him again.

“You… you made this for me?” She whispered, her voice filled with awe and warmth. Ostreatus nodded, looking up through the mushroom hat he wore. She was touched and without thinking she scooped him into her hands and hugged him, yet the embrace was loving and warm, like a friend hugging you for the first time in years.

He froze, his heart spiking at the surprise onslaught of warmth permeating from her hands and chest. It was slightly overwhelming, yet he found himself relaxing into the touch that he rarely received. Unfortunately Sylvia noticed her mistake and tried to pull him away, but was met with the sight of him curled around her thumb, hugging it close. She smiled softly at him, with his strange mushroom hat covering his head and the leafy-green cloak that obscured most of his body, all messy from the odd position, but it warmed her heart at the open display of comfort.

Slowly, he uncurled, and just sat on her palm, a sheepish yet happy smile on his face. Sylvia set him down on the table, and he scurried off her hand onto the flat surface. Ostreatus righted himself, straightening his hat and cloak in an attempt of looking somewhat put-together, and she could only chuckle at the display.

“Well, I best be off at the colony before nightfall, I’ll see you again soon,” He said, walking to the open windowsill, stopping right at the edge of it before turning back to her. “Thank you, by the way, for listening… and the hug. It.. it means a lot.” He finished, a blush creeping onto his face as he turned back to the window. Sylvia didn’t get the chance to say anything else as he quickly attached his hook to the edge and leaping off like some kind of bird.

As the sun set in the distance, she once again noticed the small acorn sitting on her desk, and the smile grew on her face once more. If Sylvia started wearing a new acorn pendant shortly after, who could blame her?

================================

That’s all for now, have a great day/night ya’ll :]

#g/t writing #g/t #acorns #wholesome giantess #gentle giantess #borrowers #giant/tiny #my writing #the borrowers #oc: ostreatus #Oc: Sylvia #Fluff #this is surprisingly fluffy #Like holy heck #Also: the mushroom Ostreatus wears is an autumn death cap mushroom #so that’s cool :]#g/t inktober 2022 #Skullcap

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jelazakazone · 1 year

Text

I posted 3,282 times in 2022

That's 2,019 more posts than 2021!

136 posts created (4%)

3,146 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@barrowsteeth

@spinninwiththestars

@angelnicknelson

@heartstoppercentral

@fandom-indy

I tagged 3,217 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#heartstopper - 2,852 posts

#heartstopper cast - 248 posts

#fanart - 210 posts

#why are they like this? - 176 posts

#joe locke - 146 posts

#kit connor - 133 posts

#representation matters - 132 posts

#details - 108 posts

#charlie spring - 88 posts

#faves - 81 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#why does netflix even think i want to watch something else when i've just continuously been watching?

My Top Posts in 2022:

Why we need a S2 of Heartstopper

Because if we don’t get this scene I WILL PERISH.

102 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

Doorways as liminal spaces in ep 3

With massive thanks again to @herewetumble and @barrows-teeth for their collaborative help. As usual, all mistakes are mine. Find the first post here.

The episode begins with Nick googling “am I gay” and “Own Person” is playing. The music is important throughout the show, but nowhere is it more pivotal than in episode 3. Nick’s digging deep, finding parts of himself he’s buried long ago and he’s uncovering who he really is.

We see Nick verbally agree to Imogen’s request to invite her to Harry’s party at the school gates, but his body language says no, in contrast with his invitation to Charlie who at first turns him down until Nick says in a wheedling tone “Please come. I want you to be there.” These are inner doors Nick is opening and closing. In between these two invitations, there is a scene in the locker room. The lads are bantering about Imogen and Tara. Harry says “If you’re not into Imogen, Saturday night’s your chance with Tara,” at which point Nick looks over at Charlie. I think Harry has planted a tiny seed that Saturday night could be his chance with Charlie.

Charlie arrives at the opulent hotel where Harry’s party is. There are a gazillion balloons around the door; it has that fantastical feel of a child’s over-the-top birthday celebration. Charlie waits in line, looking awkward and nervous.

We see Charlie enter the building and start to walk around, looking for Nick.

“Telephone” by Waterparks is playing at the party. “Cause I think I love you so, I know we only just met, so why do I feel invested, do you feel it too, do you feel it too?”

Finally, Charlie is standing at the doorway of a room where lots of kids are dancing — and Nick is standing across the room. They see each other at the same time and approach each other. Two doorways deep, they easily come together. I am definitely feeling that they are feeling it too:D

See the full post

115 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

Rooted

can we talk for a minute about how safe Charlie feels in Mr Ajayi’s room? He literally comes in here to be grounded/connected to the earth and gah, it’s such powerful symbolism. I love all the little details in this show and how they don’t hit you all at once.

I had to add this picture from ep 7, after they are back at school after the cinema.

142 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

Doorways and corridors as liminal spaces in Heartstopper pt 1 of 8

Thanks so much to @herewetumble for editorial help and @barrows-teeth for feedback and the awesome gifs! All mistakes are mine.

Find part 2 here.

Part 3 here.

Part 4 here.

Part 5 here.

Part 6 here.

Part 7 here.

Part 8 here.

If you want, you can read the whole thing without gifs on AO3 here.

Doorways and corridors are not just scenery in Heartstopper — they are silent characters supporting a journey.

Charlie Spring walks through a corridor to meet Ben after winter break, and passes through a doorway where a teacher is taking down some decorations. Could this be a signal of things changing?

When Charlie reaches the library, he finds the library empty and a text from Ben asking to meet up later. This opens a space in Charlie’s heart when he meets Nick a few minutes later.

We do see him actually pass through the doorway into his new form room. He exchanges inanities with the teacher and then turns to go to his seat. When he lays eyes on Nick, you can tell he is immediately struck. I think this doorway, into his new form room, represents Charlie’s imminent relationship with Nick.

See the full post

159 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Heartstopper s2

We are not even going to survive the trailers for S2, are we?

353 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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tinyshe · 2 years

Text

Garden Report 22.05.22

Investigative gardening.

Why did some seeds sprout of my bush cucs while others did not? Some popped up and by the time their secondary leaves were unfolding they were munched down to soil level. Culprit: slug(s). But then today, I was looking at the other pots that didn’t germinate. Some had husk/ empty seed coat laying on surface that I had originally thought was from those that had sprouted (I keep pots in ‘like’ groupings) but that wasn’t so. Was it a mouse? Poking around in other pots I found the same but under the surface of the soil, seemingly undisturbed but the insides totally devoid of embryo/seed stuff. Was it an insect? it was as if there was a tiny snip in the fat end and then hollowed out. I’ve never seen this before. Do I try to plant again in pots in the lean-to?

Been observing the hens as I started to notice that I was not getting eggs as I should. I had noticed that Bronte was being excessively bitchy towards Alcott and even Rossetti will give her a peck in the evening come time to roost that I have begun to run interference for her. Then I started looking at the egg calendar and the eggs I had gathered with the notes to double check. Alcott is down in production. With only three hens its not hard to match the eggs to the hen. Bronte is the largest and a brown egg, Rossetti is a rounder egg (less oblong) and same brown as Bronte’s. Alcott lays an egg a little smaller than Bronte and it is lighter, sort of a carmel-beige colour. It could be a couple of factors with the down turn. 1) I have watch Bronte chase Alcott around the aviary. I have also watched Bronte charge Alcott when she sees Alcott has uncovered a fine patch of worms (Bronte is very lazy! She will stand around watching and even get into what Rosetti is doing is she thinks she has located something good. 2-3) The hens also get stressed by lawn keeping equipment especially weed whacker; there has been an excess use of late especially at the neighbor with the loudly screaming/fighting children (double dipping at that port!). 4) It could also be not enough greens -- they are getting plenty of protein but the greens are a bit scant right now of things they will eat that I have ready and what they want. They aren’t starving but I know they are craving greens like I am but they won’t eat nettles, they are tires of the alfalfa pellet ration (no alfalfa hay available yet) and are tired of the sweet meadow grass hay ... they are even getting picky about the grass I pull for them as it is to ‘mature’ for their liking. 5) She is aging out. Which is fine. I have taken to trying to hand feed her treats but Bronte notices and if she (Bronte) doesn’t get any, she remembers and takes it out on Alcott later.

I had noticed something had been making little sleeping nest in the front garden. I would find little places where the grass was bent and turned. Then the other morning ... the skunk was trying to get into the back garden. The nest was about the right size. *Big groan* Time to clear out the grasses and nesting places! I don’t want to try to come home or leave and be met by a skunk! I love the thought of wildlife and making/having habitat but some things I just don’t want to share space with. Nature is grand. I do appreciate it but I’m snotty enough to insist that it is on “my terms” in “my garden”. I know Saint Francis would be so disappointed (probably God too). I don’t like the baby starlings and squirt water at them until they leave and I throw sticks at the sparrows. I’m not proud of this. I am confessing my short-comings and trying to find my way through them. And no, I don’t like the slugs, nor the skunk nor the drug addled that frequent the front of the house / my front garden. Need to find a space in my heart to plant compassion, patience and peace. Who ever said gardening was easy?! Mind, Body and Soul, at some level, is always at work in the garden.

#catholic gardener #garden #gardening #pest #hens #meditations #inquiry #seeds

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happyheidi · 3 years

Text

Story of Flowers 2

Animation by James Paulley

#I love watching a tiny little seed turn into something <3 #cottagecore #my gifs #flowers #flowercore #animation #video #nature #naturecore #plants #yellow aesthetic

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xiao-isms · 3 years

Note

Hello I just recently found your Sub Xiao things and oh my god thank you for the food 😍😍 If ur taking requests, Reader with a strap on with a dildo that can vibrate, and Xiao taking it ? 👀 Multiple orgasms would be fun, but anything you write is excellent so I don’t mind where you take this 😳

— dirty.

character. xiao

content warnings. multiple orgasms, semi dirty talk, verbal humiliation, cum eating, a little bit of cross-dressing. note that reader does have a strap-on but i tried to make it as gn as possible !

word count: 1.7k words

voicemail. agshs thank u sm anon! i really liked writing this one so i hope you enjoy <3 ps sorry if the ending is rushed, i recently started uni so ive been superrr busy lately

you slid a hand up xiao’s milky thigh and underneath his blush pink pleated skirt with a mischievous grin on your lips. halting for a moment, you took the opportunity to squeeze that soft, meaty flesh that you loved so dearly, pressing wet kisses and angry red hickies across his skin. once satisfied with your work, you pull away and lift your head to look the mighty yaksha right in his now watery eyes and archons, you doubted even the lord of geo himself would believe you if you told him how pathetic his war-hardened adeptus looked at this very moment, all from a few simple touches. the sight was laughable, really; his hard cock protruded from his pretty little skirt, precum already beginning to stain the garment, accompanied by a face so flushed you swore you could see steam emerging from the top of the other's head. you grabbed the man by his chin and yanked him forward. "you're fucking disgusting." the words came out a bit harsher than intended but xiao, oh xiao, he loved it. he loved it when you made him feel absolutely deplorable; when you broke him until he felt like he couldn't be fixed. he didn't respond, just looked at you with hunger, like he was silently begging you to fuck his brains out.

you could feel a primal need rumbling from deep inside your chest. “does that turn you on?” you asked with a cheeky grin that only seemed to be getting larger by the second. the petite man whimpered in your tight hold, nodding ever so slightly but much too embarrassed to give a direct response. “how naughty of you, xiao. so shy, and yet so, so dirty.” you interlocked your lips with his, sliding your tongue in his small mouth as soon as you got the chance. it was messy and sloppy and it felt like xiao hadn’t kissed anyone a day in his life, saliva running down the sides of his pointed chin while his mouth hung open, completely pliant, but it was so hot. you were the first to pull away which only made the adeptus whine in a desperate, high-pitched voice.

“so needy,” you whispered in the shell of his ear, rubbing his sensitive sides. “you want it? you want my cock in you, pretty boy?” he makes a sound of affirmation, one that you can’t quite make out, but one nonetheless. xiao shouldn’t be acting like this, he knows he shouldn’t—he’s a yaksha, a seasoned demon slayer, and yet, whenever he’s with you like this, he just can’t seem to control himself. he thrusted his little hips into thin air with vigor in what seemed to be an attempt to get some kind of friction, something—anything—to soothe his aching, leaking dick. “ah, ah,” you hummed, gripping his waist so tightly you were both positive there would be bruises there the next morning. “the only way you’re going to cum tonight is with my cock plowing into your tiny hole.”

the way his face contorted slightly and his brows furrowed while fresh, blood-hot tears ran down his flushed cheeks only spurred you on further. you spread his legs as far as possible, yanking both his cute panties and tight skirt off, throwing it behind you without care. you haphazardly coated your fingers in saliva before inserting them inside your boy with newfound fervor, eager to fuck him until he couldn’t think straight and was unable to scream anything other than your name. he moaned and cried and whimpered as you pumped your wet digits in and out of his hole. the adeptus whined, he was so close, so close, but he desperately wanted to be good for you-- and there's hardly anything that he wouldn't do to achieve that, even if it meant holding back his own orgasm. you scissored your middle and index finger, adding a third once you were sure xiao was stretched well enough. soon, you were able to thrust your digits in back and forth freely while the other's body continuously spasmed and shook with close to unbearable pleasure.

too impatient to keep waiting to enter the small man, you pulled your fingers out entirely, the act ripping a loud wail from your lover. "wh...w-why'd you stop?" the words were slurred and almost incomprehensible—it sounded something akin to what someone drunken on sex would say, certainly not a powerful immortal such as himself. the question truly makes you wonder if he'd actually been paying attention to your previous statement or if he really was that incoherent already. how cute, you hadn't even started and here he was, a drooling, stupid mess. you didn't respond, instead opting to press your lips against his, thrusting your tongue deep into his mouth once again. whether or not he understood you before didn't matter, the night would end the same way: with xiao becoming an inchoate husk of a being, only able to give as much pleasure as he received.

quickly, you fastened the harness onto your waist, clicking the straps in place. the plastic toy connected to the o-ring of the strap-on was useful in more ways than one; you knew the both of you’d love it as soon as you saw it. slowly—or, as slowly as you could, patience thrown to the wind long ago—you slid inside of your boy with ease, his breath hitching in the most adorable ways. you smirked and wrapped your fingers around the small device that activated the dildo. “are you ready?” before the man under you had a chance to answer, you clicked the 'on' button, the sex toy whirling to life. for a second, you thought you could see hearts in xiao’s teary, amber eyes. he looked so, so beautiful like this; spreading his legs and moaning for you like a cheap hooker. nimble fingers landed on his waist once again, allowing your hips to slam against the meat of his thighs. his mouth hung agape in shock at the sudden movement, whimpers and whines spilling from those pretty, swollen lips. "a-ah! mmph, p-please go s—oh!—" the words seemed to have fallen dead on his tongue due to a particularly well aimed thrust, hurling him forward. every little movement felt so good, like he was on cloud nine, and oh god, don't even get him started on the way the pseudo cock vibrated in him, making his head go blank with overwhelming lust. he could feel that familiar heat stirring in his abdomen, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"mm, 'm gonna cum, ooh, g-gonna cum, p-please!"

with one more rough, domineering push of your hips, he came over the newly washed bed sheets. you slowly came to a stop and slipped your fingers over the head of his now softening sex, swiping away a hefty amount of your lover's seed and putting it towards his face. "open.” you demanded, inserting your moist digits in his mouth. his red, puffy lips wrapped around them, lazily licking you clean. "good boy," you praised as you pulled your fingers from him. "do you like that? you like eating your own cum like a filthy whore, hm?" he didn’t respond, apparently much too fucked out to even nod. you pulled the man’s cheeks together, leaning down and pressing the tip of your nose to his own.

“i asked you a question.”

his mouth opened slightly at the deep, commanding tone of your voice; he was trying to answer you, he was trying to be good, but his mind was so fuzzy he could hardly breathe. with much struggle, he moves his head up and back down. the action was hardly noticeable with how subtle it was, but you took pity on the poor yaksha, placing a kiss that he felt was almost too gentle considering the current situation. you heard a whimper erupt from xiao and a small, close to inaudible humming sound could be heard within the quiet room.

oh.

you had forgotten about that.

the adeptus trembled underneath your form with overstimulation. he feared he was going to cum again, untouched; he could feel it in the way his dick was beginning to harden again, the way the muscles in his stomach churned and tightened in the most delightful ways, ways that made him feel lightheaded and painfully aroused. you were silent, watching your lover’s face scrunch up with a glint of pure lust clear in your half-lidded eyes. you begin to rock your hips back and forth again, only moving a centimeter an inch this time. xiao couldn’t stop thinking about how good you felt inside him, how his slick walls clenched and unclenched around your barely moving cock, making the smallest squelching noises.

it was all so filthy.

with that thought, the warm coil in his lower body burst and he was positive that he was seeing stars from how hard he’d just orgasmed. it was ego-boosting, really, knowing that only you could touch him like this, look at him like this. you hummed, increasing the pace of your thrusts until xiao was crying and incoherent, garbled whines falling from his mouth. “s-sen—o-oh fuck!” tears clouded his vision as you abused his prostate, taking advantage of that sensitive spot inside him. with heavy breaths, you leaned down to look at him directly, the smell of sweat and sex prominent on both of your bodies. “you’re such a good boy, xiao,” you commended between grunts and quiet moans. you brushed his messy hair back so you could see the pleasure on his flushed face, planting kisses on each of his cheeks. he keened at the attention, throwing his arm over his face to hide from the embarrassment.

“you take my cock so well, such a brave boy.” you knew he loved to be showered in praise more than anything, even more than he loved to be pinned down and degraded. he felt as if he’d cum at any second, the way the silicone toy felt inside him was more than exhilarating and your occasionally words only added to that addicing feeling. nimble fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, hard and dripping precum, preparing itself for its third orgasm. you finished him off with just a few strokes, his small form twitching with overstimulation. you slowly came to a stop and cupped his red face with your hands.

“what am i ever going to do with you, baby?”

#hey im not dead #🎐. . . xiao #WAIT I FORGOT TO TITLE THIS #genshin impact smut #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #genshin impact #xiao smut #sub xiao #bottom xiao #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao

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toasterdrake · 2 years

Note

The Julieta fic was so freaking cute, she deserves so much more love and attention! <3 I saw requests are open, so if you write for him, could I request some headcanons for Hiccup helping his s/o nurse an injured bird back to health, and it's just sickly cute and they start thinking about their future together? Thank you!!

A/N: ahh thank you! i hope you enjoy this! i've got a few more julieta reqs to write so keep a lookout for them if you'd like :)

i suggest listening to a pronounciation of the endearments to get a feel for the words but if you'd rather not please note "kjære" is pronounced as a "shar-ey" sound.

Feather Touch

Hiccup Haddock x gn!reader nursing an injured bird and thinking about their future - headcanons

Language key: kjære - honey/dear, elskede - beloved

You immediately know you can't leave the poor thing to die. Hiccup has no intention to argue; he wants to help it as much as you do.

When you get back home, Hiccup makes a tiny makeshift sling for its wing.

You make a nest out of one of Hiccup's old tunics.

You keep the dragons out of the room so that they don't give the poor thing a heart attack. Toothless is very curious and keeps trying to sneak peeks at what you're up to when the door opens.

Hiccup nearly breaks multiple things (bones or trinkets you decide) attempting to get Toothless' stone bed down the stairs.

He comes back up with a bowl of warm salt water and a cloth so that you can clean the blood from the bird's feathers.

You suspect it managed to escape a Terrible Terror, judging by the bite mark in its side.

Hiccup convinces Gothi to lend some of her herbs. You make a paste for the wound to keep it from getting infected and to speed up the healing process.

You're too nervous that you might hurt the little bird - it's nothing like handling massive scaly beasts; you're the one that has the ability to crush it - so you hold it gently while Hiccup applies the paste.

As he does so, you can't help but admire how soft he is.

His face warm in candlelight, you can tell his touch is no stronger than feathers. When the bird tries to move away he hums reassuringly, pausing his ministrations until it settles again, putting its state of mind before finishing the task quickly.

He's gentle with the bird in the same way he's gentle with dragons, with drawing, with inventing, with you, with loving you.

You think of the softness of his touch on your own skin. You wonder if he would care for your body the way he cares for your health and happiness. If his fingers would feather over your hand and the gold band that could rest there like they do the bird's wing.

You can almost imagine his eyes as soft as his touch, his face lit by the same glow that illuminates him now.

Then Hiccup is finished treating the bird, and he's going downstairs to wash his hands.

You help the bird drink from a dish filled with water and feed it a handful of seeds.

You wrap a rock heated by dragon flame in cloth and leave it in the nest to keep the bird warm.

When Hiccup returns you can feel his eyes on you.

In bed, he draws nonsensical patterns on your hip. You can feel his thoughtful frown on the back of your neck where he rests his head, practically hear the cogs turning. His stubble tickles your skin.

"Kjære?" you ask for his thoughts.

"Just thinking of the future, elskede," he murmurs.

You watch the bird sleeping in the makeshift nest. It looks so fragile. Hiccup doesn't speak more, and soon his breathing deepens to a soft snore. You let it lull you to sleep.

Over the next few days the bird clings to Hiccup's finger as he raises it up and down. It instinctively lifts its wings, pumping the muscles.

You're amazed at how fast Hiccup forms a bond with it in a similar way to a dragon. Maybe he simply has a knack for creatures of the sky, you muse.

The bird leaves you fully healed within the week, helped along by the herbs Hiccup applies every day along with his custom physiotherapy.

You wonder how long it will be before something new joins you, as you touch the medallion around your neck.

~[H]~

- love, Lynx

#i *love* using snippets of native languages #its just so soft and intimate #for this one and most httyd things i use norwegian #thank you for reqts this hiccup is so cute #nothing is hotter than gentleness #lynx writes #httyd #how to train your dragon #httyd x reader #httyd movies #hiccup haddock #hiccup horrendous haddock lll #hiccup haddock x reader #hiccup haddock x you #hiccup haddock imagine #httyd imagine #soul of a dragon

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hyuukais · 2 years

Text

Our Love In Dandelions

The day you two met, you made a wish on a dandelion. Today, the eve of your 21st birthday, you find yourself making that wish again.

Word count: 3.0k

Genre: Beomgyu x reader, soulmate au!, childhood friends-to-lovers au!, fluff, angst

Warnings: language

Author: Thank you so much @sunlightwoo for beta reading ! this was also how i realized that, at this point, the only fics i have written for gyu are childhood friends to lovers but it just works so well for him idk. anyways happy birthday to this special lad <3

Playlist: here

Kids can be ruthless. In a time before you really develop a filter, words come and go as they please. Be it the coldest insults a 5-year-old can muster or the weirdest questions on planet earth, things are said without much care. Having said that, kindergarten could be the worst place ever sometimes. At least that seemed to be the truth for the young boy you saw curled into himself across the playground. He sat at the edge of the primary play structure, far away from everyone else running around on the field. Head tucked into his knees; his body growing smaller as he pulled tighter and tighter into his chest. You had barely begun to learn the names or faces of your classmates, but you recognized the small yellow sweater clinging to his frame. Your mind recalled a little boy in your class wearing something similar today; he’d been extremely energetic during introductions.

He must be that boy.

Moving closer, something else in your little brain clicked at the soft shaking of his shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

The boy looked up at you. His eyes were glassy, cheeks red and puffy. He seemed so fragile, on the verge of tears. Meeting your eyes, he quickly wiped at the tear tracks marking his face.

“I-I’m fine.” The small words stuck to his throat.

Looking at his frame, shaking and alone, you decided to sit next to him, “But you’re crying.”

His mouth remained closed but he couldn’t turn to look at you.

“Why are you crying?”

“I-I wanted to go play w-with them, b-but they said I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Oh…well, you can play with me. If you want.”

The boy's soft sniffles silenced as he turned to you. “Huh?”

“Come on!” All of a sudden, his hand was in yours as you pulled him along behind you. Despite initial surprise he held, as you dragged him from game to game, the happy little boy you initially remembered surfaced once again. The two of you ran and jumped and played for what seemed like forever, off in your own little world. But, as recess slowly neared its end, so did your small pocket of joy.

Tired from all of your running, you two sat side by side in the grass.

“Look! Dandelions!” His tiny fingers plucked up a fuzzy, white ball from dirt before puffing out all the air in his lungs. Bunches of white fuzz broke apart, taking flight on their own.

“Whoa! How’d you do that!?”

“You just pick them up and blow on it, see?” He repeated his actions sending another flurry of white into the sky, “My mommy says if you make a wish while blowing, it’ll come true!”

“Really!?”

“Yep! My mommy is never wrong.”

“I wanna try!” You reached forward to the grass, fumbling around with the stem before pulling it out. Following all of his instructions, you take a deep breath before letting it all go. The seeds scatter across your vision and you quickly close your eyes to make your silent wish. When you opened them up, you found the boy watching you intently.

“What did you wish for?”

“I wish that we’ll play together every day and be best friends forever!”

16 years later

“Sour cream and onion or barbecue?”

Beomgyu holds up two huge bags of chips. He flips between the two, enticingly raising each.

“Hmm.” You let the thought simmer before coming to a conclusion, “Both.”

“Oo, spending the big bucks!”

“Go big or go home.”

“Hell yeah!” He throws the bags into your overflowing shopping cart. Before you can stop him he’s already running into the next aisle, ready to pile as many carbs as the cart would carry.

His smile is the same as the day you first met him. Curved eyes and shining teeth reminiscent of when you told him the wish you’d made on that dandelion. Who knew that such futile things would come to fruition?

Since that day, you two had become inseparable. Every day at school, attached at the hip. Your quick connection only deepened at the realization of your shared birthday. How your little hearts jumped for joy at what you saw as a true sign you were meant to be the best of friends forever. And you were. The two of you spent every day you could together; shared every birthday party and cake. Through the fun of elementary school, the energy of your childhood spent in days of freedom. Lent on one another in the hell of middle school, life, to you, falling apart at the seams as change rammed its way through you. Hiked together across the rocky terrain of high school, approaching the world head-on hand-in-hand. Now, here you are, 16-years-past and together still. Making your way through college and grappling with the last remaining bits of your adolescents. With Beomgyu by your side, life feels simpler. Your worries are mere dirt specks to be swept off your shoulder. The looming menace of your 21st birthday is but a pesky insect you can simply swat at. Though, you’re quickly reminded of the impending event as he returns to the cart waving a pack of numbered candles.

“Can’t forget these.”

“Do we even have a cake?”

“I think so?” He shrugs, nonchalant, “I don’t know, but it’s fine. We can always stick them in, like, ice cream or something.”

“I feel like that would be…a terrible idea.”

“Thank you.” Beomgyu chucks the candles atop the cart and looks back up at you, “So, do you think we need anything else?”

You look at the pile of groceries sitting beside you. There’s chips, and candy, and jello, and punch, and soda, and an obscene amount of ramyeon packets. Everything you’d think you’d need for an over-budget birthday party food table.

“I think if we get anything else the cart is going to give out.”

“Yeah, but also.” Suddenly, he pulls out a set of paper dishware covered in bright red characters, “We’re getting the Spider-man plates.”

You laugh at your friend as he adds another thing to the mess and struggles to get the cart rolling to the front of the store. Despite the reason for your trip, his childish nature shone through in the planning of the future. The slow ticking of time to the day you two must face your fate.

You often wished you could see the world as he does.

With the approach of your 21st birthday, came the looming fear of the inevitable. Of receiving your tattoo. At the first strike of midnight, the day you were to turn twenty-one, the ink would bloom across your skin. A tattoo, one of the same design, shape, place, weight, as would be found on the person you were destined to forever. Your soulmate. It’s said when soulmates meet, their marks burn bright red, warm and pulsing with the strings of their fate tying together. A red tattoo is one of found love.

For most, the prospect of soulmates was an exciting one. Hell, long before now, even you would stay awake at night thinking of the day you’d meet your soulmate. Slowly, though, your heart has changed. It’s found love on its own. It may not be predestined by the universe, but it makes your heart swell nonetheless. It is the reason for your hope in the world. But it is also the reason for your fear, your aching. Till the eve of your birthday, you’re preparing yourself to possibly have to let go of Beomgyu. Not his wonderful friendship, but the feeling that ran much deeper through your heart. While you had loved him since your second year of high school, the universe cared little for such futile things. You knew the possibility was still there; that as your tattoos appeared together, they would be the same. You also knew that may not happen and your love would simply have to fade. The thought made your heart ache as you watched Beomgyu happily pack grocery bags into the trunk of his car.

The mountain of groceries you decided to buy was starting to feel like more and more of a mistake. Attempting to lug as many bags as you could at one time up the three flights of stairs to your apartment probably wasn’t your brightest idea. Finally, with Beomgyu’s help, you dropped the last set of groceries on the kitchen table. Your body came crashing down after that, falling onto the soft living room carpet.

“God, I am never exercising again.” You groan out into the floor.

Beomgyu laughs, coming over to your limp form, “Like you ever did before.”

“Shut up.” You reach up for a pillow from the couch, attempting to throw it at his head. It misses and he makes his way onto the cushions beside you.

“Sorry, sorry. That honestly was a stupid idea. Why are your stairs so steep?”

“I think the builders just fucking hated everyone.” Rolling onto your back, you look up at Beomgyu. He’s spread out over the couch, head hanging on the arm. Fluffy brown hairs fall from his face, they curl and twist over his eyes. His skin is smooth and creamy, you want to reach out to wipe away the stray hairs dusting it. You want to move up, press kiss after kiss over the rounding of his cheeks, and trail your hands through the soft waves of his hair. But you shouldn’t. You can’t.

“How long ‘till the boys are supposed to get here?”

He lazily drags his phone into his eye line, “I mean, it’s 5:00, so about an hour.”

“Okay, thanks.” You pull yourself up to go unload the bags and fill bowls of chips.

“Wait!” Beomgyu rushes to get up with you, “Let me help you.”

He does. Together you two unpack and refill and put everything away. Comforting silence fills the space as it always does, but you can’t help but speak the question plaguing you.

“Are you scared?”

“Hm? Of what?”

“Tonight?”

“Of my soul mark? I know they’re tattoos but I don’t think they actually hurt.”

“No, no, I-I know. I mean, like, aren’t you nervous? We’re not actually meeting them, but all of a sudden it’s gonna be a worry, y’know? What if everything changes?”

“Whoa, nothing’s gonna change. Not between us, you’ll always be my best friend.” He bumps your shoulder, “You know that.”

The words hurt. He had not intended them to but they stung deep in your chest. The worst part is you knew he was right. Nothing was going to change, you would only be friends, and that was okay. A life with him as your closest friend was better than one without him at all. You’d have to let him go, but not completely.

“Yeah. I do.” A sad smile grew upon your cheeks before you shook yourself out of your head, “Anyways, that's all of the snacks and stuff, but we still need to order the pizza.”

“Oh shit! We do.” Beomgyu immediately pulls out his phone and begins typing, “If I go ahead and order it, do you think you could pick it up? Knowing Soobin, he’ll probably be here in, like, 20 minutes.”

“Yep! Just let me know when.”

“On it!”

Soobin had, in fact, shown up at your apartment 20 minutes early. Right as Beomgyu had alerted you that the pizza should be picked up soon, a knock sounded from the door. Swinging it open revealed the man holding a large gift bag. You simply sighed at your friend’s predictability, shouting to Beomgyu who was. Although, after that, you left the two alone to go get the food.

The car was silent. No music played, no sound rang except for the endless crunching of pavement beneath the wheels. You sat alone, headed down the road in silence. Your brain was completely focused on the task at hand, with no time for external worries. And, for the first time today, your head was silent as well. No racing, or rushing, just the calming waters of solitude. The silence only seemed to grow greater as you slowed to a stop in an empty parking spot. It followed you as you shuffled along the sidewalk. It was soft and warm and swallowed your brain.

It broke. You stopped in your tracks. Traffic and birds and shop music flood your senses. And there, struggling for sun in the thin cracks of the concrete, was a tiny, fluffy, dandelion. The fluorescent light shone out from the pizza place’s storefront, giving the little weed a heavenly glow. It’s enticing and you can’t help yourself as your fingers curl around the stem. The plant gives way. The tufts dance in the light as you stand enamored, twirling the flower back and forth between your fingers. Your brain can’t help but flashback to that day. The shouts of kids and buzz of bugs, like the roar of the cars passing by you. Bright sunshine and blue skies, the neon and burning shop lights. So much has changed. In the world and in you. Yet as you stand there, dandelion in hand, prepared to make a final wish; you find it is that exact same as all those years ago.

By the time you stepped back into your apartment, everyone else had arrived. Taehyun rushed over to help you with the pizza boxes as the rest shouted greetings. Walking further in revealed the boys sprawled around the living room floor. Kai and Soobin were working on setting up the game consoles while Yeonjun lounged, scrolling through his phone. Beomgyu had stood up to come help as well.

“Welcome back! The pizza smells delicious.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You set the boxes atop the table, throwing them open, “Come and get the pizza before I steal all of it!”

They come running, piling around you and filling up their plates with piles of junk food. You can’t help but laugh and join them, ready to spend this night with your favorite people. No matter what may come tomorrow.

The sun had set long ago. Everyone lay passed out all around you, tuckered out from the various things you had done. The night was fun. You played Mario Kart, and Just Dance, and watched movies, and threw popcorn and pillows at each other. For a fleeting moment, it felt like you were a kid again. You could forget every other worry in your life and just play. Slowly, the energy died down. Soobin fell asleep with his hand still stuck in a popcorn bowl; Yeonjun nodded off not long after that, as did Kai. Taehyun made the decision to sleep as well, after watching everyone else collapse. He bid goodnight; although all of them had vowed to reach the next day with you and see the moment you received your tattoos. That left only you and Beomgyu awake. There was every opportunity for either of you to clock out as well, but you sat together, watching the minutes tick to midnight.

With your backs against the couch and feet curled up under a blanket, the two of you waited. Little occurred in this time. The TV blared random late-night programs. You took to looking through your phone to keep yourself occupied. Scrolling through post after post, image after image, until Beomgyu spoke up hesitantly.

“You know how you asked me earlier if I was scared?” His hands twiddle in his lap.

You paused to drop your phone, “Yeah?”

“I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t scared of the tattoos, but…you were right about the worries.” He takes in a deep breath, “I guess, just, the feeling that I’ll no longer have that freedom in my life. Going out, crushing on strangers you see in the store or coffee shop. It’ll all come with this sense of guilt. Like you’re betraying someone you don’t even know, you know?”

You sigh. You know that feeling all too well. It had become a permanent inhabitant of your heart for the past week. It wasn’t guilt, since you had nothing to be guilty of, but the ghost of it. The shadow of vice circling your head like a halo.

“And, it just, it sucks!” There’s a sudden edge to his voice, “The universe gives you someone, someone who you think you could probably love for the rest of your life, and expects you to just take it if that’s impossible!”

“Beomgyu, I-”

“It hurts, Y/n. I-I never got to tell you.”

A breath gets stuck in your throat. You glance at the clock.

A minute left.

“Beomgyu, I love you.” Your eyes meet for a second, he’s seemingly just as shocked at the words as you are. But, you give yourself no time to care. You collide your lips with his. You bask in the plush of them, of his hands coming up to cup your cheeks as you did his. The feeling of finally getting to live out the hundreds of fantasies you’d dreamed of through high school. It’s overwhelming. You don’t want to leave his moment but the clock keeps on moving. As you two pull away, in your peripherals, you see the change. The five turns to a zero, the ones to a two. The time is gone. You can feel the change too. A design etching itself into your arm, swirling across the skin. Your eyes meet Beomgyu’s once again, the warmth of the chocolate within them suddenly disrupted. Deep red light explodes into the room. Your eyes widen at the heat working itself over your bicep, like fingers trailing their way to your new tattoo. You look down to where you felt the ink grow. There, painted across your forearm, are the thin lines of dandelion, its tufts lost to the wind. Newly red and burning. Shaped almost as if a person had plucked it to make a wish. It’s identical to the one covering the same area on Beomgyu. Water wells in the ducts of your eyes, and you can think of nothing but to grab his face and kiss Beomgyu again.

Your soulmate, your best friend forever.

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huneekrispee · 3 years

Text

Where is my lover?

Pairing: c!Dreamwastaken x gn!Reader

Summary: Living outside the Dream SMP, far from the war and chaos, Dream was able to find comfort in you. One day, he leaves, promising to come back to you. It's been months, now you're left wondering... where is my lover?

Warnings: cursing, use of dream's real name, spoilers for the Dream SMP Finale, tiny bit of fluff at the start, angst

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: I've been watching Attack on Titan recently, and the song 'Call Your Name' has me in the feels :( Sorry for being away for so long :( School has been an ass to me, I hope you enjoy it!! -Hunee <3

Also! Please don't mind the pronouns in the song! This is a gender-neutral fic, I merely just wrote the song lyrics as they are :)

She lost her brother a month ago

His picture on the wall

And it reminds me

When she brings me coffee... her smile

I wish I could be with her until my last day

In the forest, a cottage lays peacefully in a secluded meadow near a running stream. The tall trees lay their shadows onto the grassy floor, leaving marks from the sun. Water solemnly runs along, moving to its next destination through the stream. Grass rustles and a soft sigh is heard.

Stretching his arms above his head, a man clad in green slowly sits up, emerald eyes darting around. He yawns. "(Y/N)!" He's now standing up, searching for his lover. Dream's hand reaches down to grab his mask left abandoned on the grass, quickly putting it on.

Preparing his sword, his hand on the hilt, Dream slowly steps toward the cottage. He rests a hand on the door, waiting for something, anything.

A scream is heard.

He now slams the door open, netherite blade on full display, ready to attack. Looking around, he notices no one but (Y/N) in the cozy home, with a kettle on the ground next to them. Lowering his guard, sighing with relief, he sheathes his sword once more, walking over to his distraught partner.

"Are you alright?" Removing his mask, he takes their hands in his. Dream looks at them. (Y/N) looks down, taking their hurt hand out of his. Sighing, Dream quickly leads them over to the sink, running the tap. "What happened?" The coldness of the water helped soothe the burn. "I just, accidentally burnt myself with the kettle. It's okay, I'll live, Clay."

The man remained silent. The only sound heard in the cottage was the running tap water. After treating the burn on their hand, Dream leads (Y/N) to the chair on the side of the room. "You. Sit. I'll finish doing whatever you were doing. You just sit there and take it easy, you just burnt your hand." Bending down to their height, Dream stands face to face with (Y/N). He narrows his eyes slightly. He was always like this. Whenever (Y/N) got hurt in any sort of way, Dream was always on it, almost suffocating them with his overwhelming protectiveness.

They sighed, avoiding his eyes. "I- I was just... I just wanted to make you a coffee this morning. I know you're going to be busy later, so I wanted to make sure that you were energized for your work." Fiddling with their bandaged hand, (Y/N) smiled gently. "I see how you're always so dedicated to the stuff you do, and I wanted to return the favor, even if it's just a cup of coffee."

Dream's eyes softened. It was true, he was dedicated to his work. Running an SMP was hard, especially with some people interfering with his plans recently. He had plans to take power over the server again. Finding and taking everything his people were attached to was difficult, but at least he had (Y/N) to come home to. It was all for them. It was worth the hard work and pain just to see (Y/N) smile at him, showing him their love.

"It's okay. Thank you for wanting to do that, but you don't have to." Running his hand up to their cheek, he smiled. "I do all of my work for you, to help make a safe place for you. Once I sort out the rebellious people, I promise, I'll come back to you, and we can live together in my SMP." (Y/N) gazed up at him, looking into his eyes. They smiled, beaming at the idea.

"Alright! I promise I'll wait for you! I'll always wait for you. I love you, Clay."

"I love you too. I promise I will come back to you. Always."

He would do anything to see that smile on their face all the time.

She said she gave all her love to me

We dreamt a new life

Some place to be at peace

But things changed... Suddenly

I lost my dreams in this disaster

It had been two days. Two days since Dream had left. (Y/N) had since then tended to the flowers and read a few books Dream had gotten them from a faraway village.

'I wonder what he's doing now?' Looking up at the sky, (Y/N)'s mind began to wander. What was dream doing right now? Maybe he was still on his way back to his SMP? Or maybe he was trading with villagers for resources?

They smiled. Dream had been one of (Y/N)'s lifelong friends turned partner. They had met when (Y/N) used to live in a village as a child. (Y/N) was nine and Clay was ten. Dream had gotten into a rough fight with two skeletons and a zombie. He was stumbling around, trying to find help for his injuries.

That was when (Y/N) appeared. Hearing the boy's cries, they ran out of their family home, taking Dream into the house to be treated, screaming for their parents to help him.

They had grown up together as best friends after that. Meeting George and Sapnap, the group loved to go on little adventures together and play their favourite game: manhunt. Dream would always insist on running, with George and Sapnap chasing after him. Sometimes, (Y/N) would join them, but they quite enjoyed seeing the trio panic during the game. It was fun.

A couple years ago, Dream visited (Y/N), saying that he was starting up his own SMP, a place where he and his friends could have fun and just be themselves all the time. The two of them spend hours in (Y/N)'s room, talking about their big plans and ideas for the SMP. Dream wanted to build a cottage near a stream, and live there peacefully with (Y/N). They were shocked, Dream wanted to live with them? "Why?" They asked.

"Well, because of... I'll just show you."

That was the day Clay had kissed (Y/N) for the first time.

I'm crying

Missing my lover

I don't have the power

On my side forever

A month had passed. Nothing from Dream. Usually, he'd send a message through on their server communicator, asking how they were and informing them of his journey and new discoveries. But that didn't happen, not this time.

It was hard. Clay had been such a big part of their life that sometimes they found it hard not to worry about him. They knew he was strong, he could take down armies of people, but everyone had their limit.

Raising the iron hoe, (Y/N) swung down, making way for the new seeds of crops that would grow over the next few months. Wiping their forehead with their sleeve, they sighed.

All they wanted was for Dream to be safe, and for him to come back home once he finished his business in the SMP.

Oh Where is my lover

And I got no power

I'm standing alone, No way

Calling out your name

Heavy pants of breath echoed throughout the underground bunker. He was panicking. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

The plan was to kill Tubbo and make Tommy give him his disks.

It all went to shit when Punz showed up with backup, showing the people of his SMP that had turned against him fully.

"W-woah! Okay! Tommy, calm down!"

The blonde boy didn't listen, hands gripping the axe of peace and lifting it high above his head.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you Dream, right here, right now."

Dream silently gulped. For once, his plan failed. It backfired on him and blew up in his face. 'Sorry (Y/N). Guess I'm not coming back tonight.' He just wanted this to be over. He just wanted to be back in the cottage near the stream, sitting with his lover.

His green eyes darted around to everyone in the room. They looked disgusted, some disappointed, others angry. He knew this would never change. He would never get his SMP back. They hated him. Wanted him gone.

"Does Y/N know you're like this?"

His breath hitched. Eyes went wide.

Sapnap had stepped forward, sword out, pointing it threatening at Dream. "Do they know just how bad you are? How corrupt you've become?!" He was yelling at this point. Sapnap was upset as well. It was hard to believe that his best friend would do all of these bad things, it hurt to betray him, but he had to do what was right.

"S-stop. Stop talking about them."

For once, Dream was vulnerable. He hated it. He was always so soft when it came to them. When it came to (Y/N). Sapnap knew that. He had seen it when they were together, how happy dream was when he was with them, following them around like a lost puppy, longing for their love. It went both ways, (Y/N) was the same.

"Who the fuck is- Nevermind. Dream. Give me one good fucking reason why I shouldn't-"

"Tommy stop." Sapnap stepped in again. "This is important to not just me but for another person as well." Tommy stepped back, axe still prepared to lash out just in case. Tommy kept muttering to himself, something about a green bastard.

"Dream. Where is (Y/N)? You said they would join the SMP with us, but they're not here, nobody has seen them, probably besides you. You said that they changed their mind about the SMP, or was that a lie too?"

Dream gulped, words caught in his throat.

"Tell me, you bastard! Where is (Y/N) and do they know?!"

"No. They don't know. All I wanted to do was protect them from something I knew would happen. The wars, the chaos of the SMP. They didn't need to be a part of that. I didn't want them to get hurt."

It was almost like a plea. Dream's voice was quiet like he didn't want them to hear what he was saying. Sapnap stepped back, somewhat satisfied with his answer. He was also upset, he hadn't seen (Y/N) in years, not since before the SMP started.

Tommy finally stepped forward.

"Now. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you, Dream."

"I can bring people back to life. I can bring Wilbur back."

I said I gave all my love to you

We dreamt a new house

Some place to be at peace

But things changed... Suddenly

I lost my dreams in this disaster

Three months. It had been three long months without him. (Y/N) would spend every other night crying in their bed, missing him. They missed everything about him. No messages from him on their communicator. No death messages about him either.

They had never thought that three months could feel so long.

Surely he was busy doing stuff that would mean the world was safer for them. That's what he always said. He said that he worked for them and that he promised that they could settle down and make a new cottage near a different stream, closer to the SMP.

He said he needed to dig out the rebellious people and make his SMP a better place.

All (Y/N) could hope for was that he was safe and doing okay.

We don't know what is wrong tonight

Everybody's got no place to hide

No one's left and there's no one to go on

All I know is my life is gone

Dream was not feeling safe and right now he was feeling anything but okay.

Tommy had just broken his mask. Split down the middle, from the axe of peace.

He didn't want anyone to see his face, no one but (Y/N) and the people who had already seen it before he started wearing the mask.

His mask was his safe haven. A facade he could hide behind. With it gone, there was now no place for him to hide.

All he had done was tell Tommy that he could bring people back to life. When he mentioned Wilbur, Tommy seemed shocked, but then he seemed to come back to his senses after remembering what Wilbur was like before he died.

He went crazy. Insane. All because of Dream and his stupid motives. He only fueled Wilbur's change, encouraging him to blow Manburg up after Jschlatt took over. Thank God for Karl destroying the button the first time. The second attempt was successful and sealed Wilbur's fate as a psychotic, destroyed ex-president swayed by the masked man into committing destruction.

Tommy was angry at that. At the fact that Dream would even think about bringing back Wilbur.

Enraged, he brought the axe down onto Dream's cowering figure.

I'm crying

Missing my lover

I don't have the power

On my side forever

Sitting up, (Y/N) slowly looked around the room. It was the same as always; no Dream insight. They woke up every day with a feeling of hope that they would turn around and see Dream at the door, back from his trip.

The situation was too much. (Y/N)'s breaths quickened, eyes blurring up with tears, the salty water slowly dripping down the sides of their cheeks. They let out a dry laugh, bringing up their sweater paw hands to their face, wiping the tears.

They stared at the sleeve of the hoodie they had on. It was green.

It was his.

He always left a spare here, just in case.

It always came in handy when (Y/N) missed him.

They sighed, flopping back down onto the bed, curling into themselves and the hoodie. It smelt like him. He always smelt like a run through the forest, with a hint of saltwater and citrus.

It was comforting.

He was comforting.

The tears wouldn't stop. Every time (Y/N) wiped them away, fresh ones would keep coming. Where was he? Was he okay? It was all they could think about.

(Y/N) hugged themselves, hoping to recreate a hug like his. It didn't work. It never worked.

Nothing could ever compare to his hugs.

Still sobbing, (Y/N) cried themselves back to sleep, despite it being morning.

Not like they had any motivation to do anything without the assurance of him being okay anyways.

Oh Where is my lover

And I got no power

I'm standing alone, No way

Calling out your name

Beep.

(Y/N)'s communicator went off.

Dream was slain by Tommyinnit.

#dreamwastaken x reader #dream smp x reader #mcyt x reader #huneewrites #dsmp x reader #dream team x reader #dream x reader #dream x reader fluff #dream x reader angst #dreamwastaken angst #dream imagine #dream fanfic #dream x gn!reader #c!dream x reader #c!dreamsmp x reader

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metamorphesque · 3 years

Note

hi, thank you for you!

could you please recommend some of your favourite poems/poets? something powerful

Thank you, lovely 🌼

1. Ocean Vuong (honestly, all of his poems are heart-wrenching)

Headfirst

Stupid boy.

You can get lost in every book

but you’ll never forget yourself

the way god forgets

his hands.

Homewrecker

Because the year is a distance

we’ve traveled in circles. Which is to say: this is how

we danced: alone in sleeping bodies. Which is to say:

this is how we loved: a knife on the tongue turning

into a tongue.

Because it's summer

you say thank you thank you thank you

because you haven’t learned the purpose

of forgive me because that’s what you say

when a stranger steps out of summer

& offers you another hour to live

Seventh circle of Earth

As if my finger, / tracing your collarbone / behind closed doors, / was

enough / to erase myself. To forget / we built this house knowing / it

won’t last. How / does anyone stop / regret / without cutting / off his

hands? /

On Earth we're briefly gorgeous

You, pushing your body into the river

only to be left with yourself—

stay.

To my father / to my future son

Use it to prove how the stars

were always what we knew

they were: the exit wounds

of every misfired word.

Notebook Fragments

God must be a season, grandma said, looking out at the blizzard

drowning

her garden.

2. Richard Siken

Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light by Richard Siken

What can you know about a person? They shift

in the light. You can’t light up all sides at once. Add

a second light and you get a second darkness, it’s only

fair. He is looking at the wall and I am looking at his

looking.

The Language of the Birds

A man had two birds in his head—not in his throat, not in his chest—and the birds would sing all day never stopping. The man thought to himself, One of these birds is not my bird. The birds agreed.

Logic

There's a dream in the

space between the hammer and the nail: the dream of

about-to-be-hit, which is a bad dream, but the nail will

take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever.

The field of rooms and halls

I put my sadness in a box. The box went soft and wet and weak at the bottom. I called it Thursday. Today is Sunday. The town is empty.

Landscape with a Blur of Conquerors

It should be enough. To make something

beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be

3. Charles Bukowski

Raw with love

little dark girl with kind eyes

you have no

knife. the knife is

mine and I won't use it

yet.

The Crunch

we forget the terror of one person

aching in one room

alone

unkissed

untouched

cut off

watering a plant alone

without a telephone that would never

ring

anyway.

Bluebird

we forget the terror of one person

aching in one room

alone

unkissed

untouched

cut off

watering a plant alone

without a telephone that would never

ring

anyway.

The Genius of the Crowd

but there is genius in their hatred

there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you

to kill anybody

not wanting solitude

not understanding solitude

they will attempt to destroy anything

that differs from their own

The Laughing Heart

Your life is your life

Don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.

Be on the watch.

There are ways out.

There is a light somewhere.

It may not be much light but

It beats the darkness.

4. Anne Carson

The Glass Essay

You remember too much,

my mother said to me recently.

Why hold onto all that? And I said,

Where can I put it down?

Red Doc

To feel anything deranges you. To be seen feeling anything strips you naked. In the grip of it, pleasure or pain doesn't matter.

5. Rainer Maria Rilke (but mainly in German)

Extinguish Thou My Eyes (Lösch mir die Augen aus)

Extinguish Thou my eyes:I still can see Thee, deprive my ears of sound:I still can hear Thee, and without feet I still can come to Thee, and without voice I still can call to Thee.

I find you (Ich finde dich)

I find you in all these things: all that is good in me and in my brothers, like a tiny seed you bask in the sun and in the vastness you greatly give of yourself

6. Joseph Brodsky (but mainly in Russian)

Don't leave the room, don't make a mistake ( Не выходи из комнаты, не совершай ошибку.)

Don’t leave your room, don’t commit that fateful mistake. Why risk the sun? Just settle back at home and smoke. Outside’s absurd, especially that whoop of joy, you’ve made it to the lavatory--now head back straight away!

A Song

It's evening, the sun is setting; boys shout and gulls are crying. What's the point of forgetting if it's followed by dying?

7. Marina Tsvetaeva (in Russian)

I am happy simply living

I am happy living simply: like a clock, or a calendar. Worldly pilgrim, thin, wise—as any creature.

Where does this tenderness come from?

Where does this tenderness come from? And what will I do with it? Young stranger, poet, wandering through town, you and your eyelashes—longer than anyone’s.

8. Paul Verlaine

Les sanglots longs Des violons De l'automne Blessent mon cœur D'une langueur Monotone.

The long sobs Of violins Of autumn Wound my heart With a monotonous Languor.

9. Vahan Teryan (in Armenian)

My mother’s hands

My mother's hands were tapered slim like candles that might burst in flame. My mother's voice was like a balm soothing each pain, calling each name.

Carousel

In that far-off world the song I sang was one we all knew: "I love you but you don't love me." How banal and predictable. Now.

10. Paruyr Sevak (in Armenian)

Without words

I know what has changed, my dear, It’s always like that, When someone insane and crazy like me, Opens his heart without words To someone modest and shy like you…

When i was busy on Mars

When I was busy farming on Mars, Sitting dreamily in my small city room, My poor door suddenly underwent a formidable ordeal: You were knocking.

#poems #poetry #literature #book recs #classic literature

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

caught

— You’re caught in a web after flying a little bit too recklessly and along comes your one and only savior who requests a little help from you too as the price of freeing you.

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pairing: naga!kirishima eijirou x fem fairy!reader

warnings: fairy!reader, naga!kirishima, smut, 18+, coercion, dubcon, hypnotism, oviposition, double penetration, begging, heat/rut, size diff

word count: 4,004

a/n: BAHAHA I wrote this in like 3 hours because I decided to instead watch some soul eater last night & I like it so far! ah, well, ive never actually read naga fics before, or oviposition,,, so fair warning, enjoy! also, read the damn warnings.

kinktober day 7 main kink: size difference

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The world was a magical one.

The planet was crawling with mythological creatures steaming from the smallest of pixies to the largest Kraken. The world was full of mystery, wonder, and adventure. Fire breathing dragons and cursed powerful swords were hidden away from the few humans and elves to discover. As in any civilization, there were those who got along and those who didn’t.

Some species of creatures got along with everyone, there were others that were feared beyond reason, and a few that were loved for moments and feared for others.

You were a fairy.

And you were tiny.

Standing no more than three apples high, you had iridescent wings that curled and shone in the glimmering light whenever you so much as moved. You were a good fairy, you always have been. You were often found assisting with a multitude of mythical creatures and humans on quests and as companions. Despite your small stature, you were fast, zipping, and gliding faster than most could ever dare to catch up with.

You loved your wings, loved flying, loved having the wind whistling through your ears while you dove between branches and branches, laughing while your pixie friends failed to keep up with you. Your mother had always fluttered her wings in annoyance and partial anger when you were younger and would often outspeed her, leaving her screaming your name while she desperately tried to keep up.

What could you say? You were a daring fairy, an adventurous one at that too.

But she always warned you, even back then, of the dangers of being a small, tiny, pretty fairy who flew at speeds much faster than you should be capable of.

The wind whipped against your face, stinging at your nose, chapping your lips, and whooshing through your ears as you grew faster and faster. The traces of magic falling from your wings creating a beautiful, sparkling trail behind you as you whooped out in excitement and thrill.

“Slow down, y/n!” your friends screamed from what sounded like many trees behind you, and like the daring showoff you were, you cork spiraled around a set of hanging branches with a loud laugh.

But as you straightened out, ready to move onward, you realized that something, thick, heavy, and sticky had caught onto the tip of your wing, and you catapulted backward.

A spider’s web.

Even in a world of fantasy and mystery, spiders existed to catch flying pests, and to some, you were just that.

Panic consumed you, white fire coursing through every magical vein in your body as you thrashed and shook in the webs. Your hands grabbed onto the sticky strands around your wings, a desperate attempt to free yourself only to find yourself even more tightly wound up in the damp, near-transparent threads.

A pathetic whimper left your mouth, your head dropping to your chest as silent, hot tears streamed down your cheeks. Your wings fluttered weakly, looking nothing too far from the insects and flies you were so used to seeing caught up in these webs. You strained your ears, trying to listen to the few pixies you had been flying and playing with, but even with your immense speed advantageous over them, you knew that they should be near.

But nothing.

You sat there on the web for minutes that seemed to bleed into hours, silently waiting for your friends to come and save you… but it seemed for naught.

…

“Help…”

“Please help…”

You had been trapped for hours.

Each passing second both dooming you to a life as spider food for the Arachne that had still yet to return home. Or maybe possibly a snack for any large creature that may pass, or an undeserving elf or human plucking you free and demanding to use their powers on a quest you would never approve of. That, or maybe you’d die of hunger.

There was no stopping the growl in your stomach or the parched dryness of your throat for your desperate, pathetic cry of help.

But it seemed that when your friends not-your-friends anymore said this part of the forest was for the most part void of all pixie and fairy eating creatures, it seemed that it was just void of all creatures. Pouting, you felt another rush of frustrating tears well up in your eyes, your cheeks huffing and face steaming as soft chimes of bells erupted from you while you seemingly threw a temper tantrum, not one-second closer from freedom.

Your breathing turned sharper, heavier, and overall shallow. In a flash of fury, you thrummed your wings as fast as you could, trying your best to fly out of this entrapment. To your slight excitement, you managed to loosen the webs around your wings for just a moment, your smile bursting oh so prematurely onto your face before it all went wrong again. As if the web was alive as well, it seemed to suddenly stiffen and drag you back into its sticky confines only for you to be even more trapped onto the mass web.

Like a broken dam, the tears streaming down your face were stinging, plentiful, and unable to stop.

You mourned the end of your life like this, so pathetic, so absolutely stupid way to go: caught on a spiderweb.

“Now, now, little one, why are you crying?” came a voice so soft yet incredibly loud voice, and you stiffened straight despite having a potential savior.

You couldn’t see them, and with how the web was wrapped around you, you couldn’t even dare to turn your head around to stare at them. You couldn’t look at him, sure, but you knew just through the tenor and low thunder of his voice that your potential savior or wolf in sheep’s clothing was undoubtedly a robust, powerful mythological creature.

Despite the way his voice seemed to whisper in your ears, you heard the familiar noise of someone moving through the grounds of the forest. The fallen dead leaves that scattered on the floor crackling with his movement. You trembled although you didn’t make a noise, not even a small bell chime of your wings.

“Are you in need of assistance, little one?” he continued to ponder as if blind to the was you oh so very not discreetly clammed up at the sudden sound of his voice. “If you so require it, I would be more than willing to assist you in your freedom. It pains me to see such a beautiful, full of potential little fairy go to waste.”

The tongue in your mouth felt pathetically dry, your chest rising and collapsing at incredible speeds for someone of your composition of size.

“Oh, are you fearful of me, little one?” he seemed to laugh, finding your fear to be humorous, comical, really. “Most individuals at least wait until they peer into my eyes to find themselves unwilling to move or speak.”

The web shook with the vibrations of his voice. And you whined at the back of your throat as that small fact merely confirmed the size of the male creature standing behind you. You found yourself fearful of that playful tone on his voice, but you also knew that as a tiny fairy, you were quite foolish in fear when found in predicaments such as this one. You had to trust the creature behind you should you wish to escape.

“W-Would you mind freeing me?” you asked, making an attempt to sound powerful and in control despite the tremor on your lower lip and the way your voice was near childish in comparison to his own. How you actually thought fairies sounded on the same pitch as to many creatures before was beyond you, for at the moment, you deemed yourself to be no greater than a child speaking to an old man. “I was trapped while racing, and well, these frisky spiderwebs are quite the worst at capturing things that don’t deserve to be captured.”

Oh? Is that so?” his voice chuckled. His body, without a doubt, moments from yours if the way the gentle breath of his laugh brushed against your neck had anything to say about it. “I’ve always been told that they’re especially good at capturing pests.”

You flustered.

“Yet here we are!” you pathetically countered, your wings fluttering in your distress. “If you wouldn’t mind freeing me, I would greatly appreciate it!”

“But, of course,” he spoke with great pride, and you shuddered when warm, large finger seemed to easily scoop you out from the webs. Your wings fluttered when the tight restraints of the traps were done, but not entirely freed from your beautiful wings. “Relax your wings, little one, I know you’re antsy to move, but there are still a great number of leftover webs on those wings of yours. Relax, I promise you no harm as I take these webs off.”

You shivered as his warm, strong fingers worked the plenty of sticky strands of webs off of you as if they were nothing but flyaway thread used for clothing. Speaking of clothing, you peered down at the daisy and red dandelion seed dress you wore, your eyes wide with the hope that it hadn’t been ruined. You loved this outfit. But as you peered down at your cotton shoes, you froze when you finally took in the hand you were resting upon.

It was huge.

Without a doubt, his palm was the size of your entire body, the fingers long and thick with intimidating claws that demanded a bit of concern.

“There, all done,” he hummed, and you shook your wings, looking at the thing iridescent wings that made you a fairy, and you felt him turn his hand around where you rested. Your eyes, already wide with the looming dread in your stomach, seemed to become saucers the size of the moon when you came face to face with a naga.

Nagas, half-snake half-human, were a few creatures in this world that were both loved and hated by others — your kind included.

His scales were black, glinting red under the setting copper sun, and he was absolutely massive. You had seen nagas only a handful of times, three to be honest, but each other those times, you knew that they were hardly more massive than humans. But this male naga before you was enormous as he was solid. Rippling muscles on every exposed part of his human body and his snake bottom were large, thick, full of rippling coiling muscles that could probably strangle anyone who attempted to fight him. He had full, spikey red hair, scars on his arms, and one splitting his eyebrow. His red, slitted eyes seemed vast, cunning, and terrifying while he lifted you up to eye level. And his smile, oh his smile. Jagged, sharp teeth with lips pulled into a cunning, just a bit too sweet smile.

Naga, for the most part, were peaceful creatures. They were strong fighters, fierce protectors, all due to the fact that they were just so much larger than their co-inhabititors of the world, but they were peaceful. They slithered about most of the year, helping those who came and went, but there were moments in the year where they were of concern.

During the late spring, early summer, they were hit with their heats and ruts. Powerful naga soon filled with the lusting, overwhelming desire to shove their fertile eggs into anything that would hold them. Nagas, who mated with nagas, were known to have wrestled as their mating dance, almost wiping out many towns in their horny, hot desires, and you froze suddenly feeling the thick waves of heat coming off the naga before you.

“W-Well, thank you!” you stammered, your body bowing lowly for the naga before you whose splitting smile was becoming stamped in your brain. “I appreciate you freeing me, but I must go now. Supper is waiting for me!”

“What’s your name, little one?” the naga instead asked, his clawed finger caressing your cheek so softly, so accurately, you nearly thought he was set on taking off your head. “I would like to know the name of the beautiful fairy I saved today.”

There was power in knowing names in this world, fairy names especially, so you couldn’t help the pit that formed in your stomach on account to this, or the way fear stimulated every cell in your body.

“I-I can’t um, I can’t tell you,” you whimpered when his thick, large finger hooked underneath your chin to raise your head.

“Ah, it’s okay, little one, I promise I won’t do you wrong,” he promised, the lure in his voice — an advantage that nagas held in their times of heat. His voice was a warm blanket, smoothly pulling your eyes closed, making your wings flutter in your lulling excitement. “You can trust me.”

“Trust… you?” you spoke, mimicking his words, feeling like you were swimming in a warm, gooey honey trap. You bit down on your lower lip, heat rushing to your face as you stared upon his still cunning, sly grin as he traced his massive finger down from your wet, pouty lower lip to your hip. “I don’t… I can’t stay for longer?”

“Is that a question on your tone, little one?” he asked, his forked tongue flicking through his pointed teeth. “Can’t you stay? I have a favor to ask of you.”

A heavy, pitchy moan broke through your mouth as the tip of his claw dragged from your navel to your suddenly blistering core. Were you always this wet? How did you get so wet?

“But I…” you struggled to think, your eyes shut tightly, face twisting as you tried to figure out where you were needed right now. “I need to go… somewhere?”

“Somewhere?” he asked, voice light, buttery smooth. “I thought you were coming with me?”

“I… was?”

“Yes, little one, look at me,” he kissed the air, and you found your eyes pressing open, your jaw dropping when his piercing red eyes hypnotizing you. “Open those pretty little legs for me, I want to see if you’re fit enough to be my dam, my mate.”

Why that sent bubbling gasps from your tongue and sent your legs apart was beyond you, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. He had called you his mate… his dam.

His finger shoved between your legs, gently rubbing the massive finger that was probably nearly your height between your legs, catching onto your clit, sending resonating, shaking mewls from your throat. You collapsed forward, hips rutting back against his finger, your tiny fingers holding onto his knuckles, your eyes fluttering in this euphoria.

It felt so good.

So good, so good, “please more!”

You sobbed at the feeling of his finger coming up to allow more friction between you and your throbbing cunt, the bone of his knuckle-dragging so deliciously, so roughly against your throbbing clit that you started to feel weak in your knees.

“Call me Kirishima,” he growled, his finger flipping underneath you so that the pad of his finger could now press onto your clit, gathering your dripping slick as he does so. “Kirishima Eijirou.”

“Ei,” you spluttered, eyes barely open to watch the way his slitted pupils were dilated with his lust, the smell he was emitting without a doubt one of an alpha male plunging further within his rut. “This feels so good, please give meeeEE ahhh, oh god, give me more!”

Kirishima growled out a peal of chilling laughter, one that had your wings fluttering in their heavy, lucid attempt to fly and kiss the man that could swallow your entire body as if you were nothing more than a potato chip to him. You keened, one of your hands shakily removing themselves from his finger, stretching out to him.

“Kiss me, please kiss me,” you beg, your heaving breathes almost in synch with your wildly bucking hips.

“You want a kiss?” he hummed, bringing your tiny body close enough to tease you, but not near enough for you to plant a desperate, small kiss to his smooth, curling large lips. “Promise me two things.”

“Anything,” you promised, watching as his forked tongue flashed between his teeth, his eyes flashing with his shaking control on the situation. Your cheeks scorched at the sight of him wanting you just as badly as you wanted him. The dam in you jittering at the knowledge that he was a good mate, a good person by holding back, trying to keep his control before giving in. But you wanted him as deep as you were. You wanted to feel his finger intruding your clenching, spasming walls, to try and take on his undoubtedly huge cock.

You wanted to try it.

You wanted him.

“Anything you want, I will give you!” you shriek with promise, your clit feeling numb from the overstimulation and lack of release as you could not reach it without penetration.

“Your name,” Kirishima growled, his lips dangerously close. “And promise to carry my — our children.”

“I promise, I promise, I promise!” you frantically claim, knowing you would do it all just for his lips against yours, and finally, he was close enough, his bottom lip nearly the size of your entire face as you kissed him again and again.

His lips were pursed, allowing your frantic kisses to have lain all over his awaiting soft lips. You shuddered at the electric sensation coursing through you with every second, and your wings fluttered in your excitement, bringing you up into the air, lifting you off his palm.

“Your name?” he commanded, the hand you abandoned running a taloned finger down the spine of your back, pleasantly, orgasmically feeling as he reached the spot between your sensitive wings. You loved the feeling and keened against his mouth.

“Y/l/n y/n!”

“And you will have my children?”

“Yes!”

A possessive, all encompassing cross between a growl and a hiss slipped through his lips, and you looked down with your lust dipped eyes to see the two, twisted cocks he was rutting into his free hand. You cried at the fact that it wasn’t your cunt the sharp, near hook looking tip of his cock wasn’t ramming into.

“Where do you think you’re going, little one?” Kirishima snarked, his eyes bright and humorous as he caught you by your wings. You moaned loudly at the lusting pull of your wings that you could feel pulsing into your core. “You’re not ready for my cock or eggs just yet.”

“But I wanna…” you cry, fingers stretching out toward the two writhing cocks that seemed to call your name. “I wanna try!”

“Shh, shh,” he cooed, his hand that was not occupied with his massive cocks releasing your wings and gently stroking your face. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you can try in a bit. I just don’t want my little one splitting in half before she’s been made useful!”

Your pouting and mouthwatering person turned to face Kirishima again, whose once red eyes were completely black in his rutting lust.

“Split in half?” you echoed, a slight pain pinching your pussy, the thought of being split in two for those cocks not quite as horrendous as it should be. “Will I be?”

“Not if you stretch yourself out first,” Kirishima corrected, entirely missing your slight hope to be torn in half by his cock. “I want to see you fuck yourself on my finger at first. Do that, and I’ll let you sit on my cock and birth my eggs.”

A chill ran down your back, and you nodded, suddenly more than willing to throw yourself onto anything he would give you to prove yourself. And with his free hand, he presented his long ring finger whose talon was missing, most likely gone from some sort of battle.

But it didn’t matter. It was enough for you to prove yourself.

Fluttering over to his finger, you dropped the small panties you owned onto his exposed palm before placing your sopping cunt right above his extended finger. You lowered yourself onto the tip, spreading your essence slick against his skin, your eyes unabashedly half-lidded as you watched the muscles in his arm pick up speed as you made eye contact with the excited naga.

And with a twirl of your hips and a moan that vibrated straight through your chest, you sank onto his finger.

It truly did feel like his splitting you in half. You recognized immediately at the way your walls nearly couldn’t keep up with how he opened you up. His finger was already giant within your spongey, tight walls. The heat and the callouses of his appendage unreplicable as you silently screamed, your walls spasming tightly around him, an orgasm taking you out without warning. You heaved, exhaustion ticking your brain as the soft bounces you made to further his finger up your cunt making you whine. He was huge, his finger huge. But you liked the fullness it brought you, the way you struggled not to send yourself flying off his finger like some rocket while you continued to fuck yourself against him.

You could do it, you could do it.

Soft wet noises filled the air as Kirishima’s aggressive stroking of his leaking cocks, and the way his finger seemed to be so loud in your tight cavern filled the forest.

More, give him more.

Pressing the collar of your outfit down, your legs wrapped around his finger as you continued to fuck yourself up and down his finger while your hands groped and pinched at your breasts, your eyes rolling back in your horny excitement. You could feel your orgasm growing again. You could tell by the clenching quivering of your spongey, velvet walls against his finger that you were close yet again.

“Fuck, little one, you’re taking my finger so well,” Kirishima sang in his praise, his snake tail coiling and thrashing wildly beneath the both of you, and you longed to feel the snake scales beneath your blazing core too. “Are you ready for my cock? I’m so close, so close. You made me like this, little one, so fucking hot, so sexy, fuck.”

You mewl loudly, your body well aware of the lewd scene he was creating with the way he wrangled his twin cocks in his hand. Your head dropped backward, a high pitched wail shooting through you when his finger moved within you, and you nodded your head as quickly as you could. Your legs relaxing around him as Kirishima quickly picked you off his finger, and without even three seconds of being empty again, two sharp, writhing cocks slammed within your cunt.

You staggered against his hold, body convulsing at the feeling of his snake cock flicking and twirling within your womb, stimulating the puffy, wet walls that were erratically beating, as the both of you came with loud, joint moans.

White filled your vision as your wet juices splattered down his cock, and the weirdest, almost constipating feeling filled you as solid, cold, and round objects filled your womb. Making the drool in your mouth dribble down the corner of your mouth as your eyes crossed.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four eggs.

Four eggs for you to grow, four kids you would have with Kirishima, and you sobbed in elation.

“I can feel them, Ei!” you sobbed, content with the babies he just gave you, already expanding your tiny little stomach to the optimal length it could reach. “Our babies!”

Kirishima chuckled, removing your from his cock and placing your pregnant little tiny body onto his shoulder, a sign that he would protect you through anything and everything.

“I can’t wait until they hatch, little one.”

And with that, he nuzzled against your face. And you vibrated in your happiness, more than willing to take on the world as Kirishima continued forward in the world. There was no looking back now.

#kirishima x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #kirishima smut #bnha #bnha x reader #bbs kinktober 2020 #tw: dubcon

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Amoreena | Chapter two

Chapter Two

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers

word count: 6k

a/n: this is set May 2021 in my brain just in case anyone was wondering while reading it !! here is the pinterest board and the spotify playlist for the fic too!

from the beginning <3

They were sitting on the steps of the Smithsonian when he arrived. Y/N was a vision in a yellow blouse and blue jeans, basking in the sun's rays when she looked more like sunshine herself, throwing seed at the birds with Amoreena.

He took a deep breath and smiled, waving to get their attention.

“Spencer!” Amoreena cheered, running down the steps and into his arms. Almost knocking her hat off as she leapt into his arms.

“Oof,” is all he can say as he makes sure to catch her, surprised to get this sort of reaction from someone.

She fixes her hat and leans back in his arms, “do you like my outfit? I’m the old man from Tarzan and mom is Jane!”

He sets her down then, watching her stick a foot out so he can get a good look at her olive-coloured jean shorts, button-up shirt and blue bowtie and brown boots. She went all out for her adventure today, making his heart burst.

“I looked into that Milo guy,” he says, showing off his own outfit. Pushing his glasses up and adjusting his red bowtie.

“You look just like him!!!” She was beyond excited, turning to Y/N who was all smiles on the steps.

She stood as they walked towards her, “mom look, he’s Milo!”

“You look great,” she complimented him, that twinkle in her eyes back as she blushed.

“Thank you, so do you,” he said softly. “Both of you are dressed for the right adventure today.”

“What do you have in store Mr. tour guide?” Y/N teased, taking Amoreena’s hand and walking into the museum.

“Dr. Tour guide,” he corrects her softly, making her smile and shove him lightly.

“Sorry,” she teased him, “Doctor tour guide, what is your plan for today?”

“I bought 3 tickets ahead of time,” Spencer admits, taking three lanyards out of his jacket pocket and handing them each one. “We have special access today, just show the guards these and we can go almost anywhere.”

“Are you sure you don’t work here? Not even undercover?” Amoreena interrogated him, narrowing her eyes as she watched his response.

He laughed, “I promise, I helped them on a case once, and my old boss knows the curator, they owed me a favour.”

“Old boss?” Y/N catches it.

He nods lightly, “he quit a while ago to have a family.”

“Smart man.”

“I sent in my letter of resignation last night,” he adds, “if you’re still looking for a literary historian?”

She beamed at him, reaching out an arm to tuck under his and pull him in close. Following him through the doors with Amoreena’s hand still in hers. “I’ll arrange an interview this week.”

The rotunda was one of the coolest parts of the Smithsonian Museum of National History. A beautiful African Bush Elephant greets them in the centre, tusks extending out towards them as Amoreena gasps.

“Wow,” her small voice whispers.

“Cool, huh?” Spencer leans to look at her expression, she’s absolutely gobsmacked.

It makes him smile, that beautiful glimmer of amazement spreading across her face as her small brain tries to understand what exists in the world outside of her mind's grasp. It was priceless, he loved every moment.

“So, I was thinking you could look around and whenever you’re ready, we have access to the Student Centre. You’re going to get to look at some special bones and fossils, and even dig some up!” He was so excited to share the plans with her.

She let go of her mom's hand to flap her arms wildly, excitement coursing through her veins as she shook, grinding her teeth together as she smiled, it was how he remembered feeling as a child when something good happened. Pure joy, excitement level 1000.

“Sound good?”

“Spencer,” Y/N placed her hand on his shoulder, taking over for the speechless child, “that sounds perfect, thank you.”

“The Dino’s are this way,” he leads them down the corridor, through a set of doors towards a large swirling sign,

“Journey through deep time!” Y/N read the sign, smiling at Amoreena as she ran towards it, touching the swirl as she read all the words to herself.

“It’s so sad they died,” Amoreena says so matter of factly that it makes him bite back a smile.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a small laugh. Y/N's shaking her head with a sigh of pure love. “What kind of dinosaur is your favourite?”

“The Jurassic era,” she responds, standing closer to the sign and reading all the words. “Did you know the earth used to be mostly desert? There was a massive heatwave, that’s why they believe dinosaurs were most likely scaled but thanks to the melting ice caps as we recover from the ice age and move back towards being tropical, we’re discovering dinosaurs frozen in ice with feathers and fur!”

It takes his breath away, seeing someone so much like him with a mother who loves every single word that leaves her mouth. Pride on her face as she looks at her little genius and back towards Spencer, waiting for his response.

“So you’ve been a paleontologist this whole time and you never told me?”

She laughs and swats the air, “no, I just read a lot of books.”

“She can read really fast, like Matilda,” Y/N bragged.

“I do too,” Spencer knelled down in front of her. “It’s a very wonderful thing to have a brain as big and magical as ours, never let anyone tell you otherwise okay?”

“Never, I’m the smartest in the kingdom,” Amoreena smiled.

“Yes, she is,” Y/N smiled again, placing her hand on Spencer's back as they continued to walk around the exhibits.

He felt like he had a family, like one of those couples who would go to Ikea and pretend they lived in the sets. This was the most perfect make-believe day of his life, leading a child just like him through a world of things she loved.

Y/N was quiet most of the day, watching them interact with a soft smile and sad eyes. Spencer noticed it but let it slide, he’d ask her about it later when she could be honest with him. He didn’t want to profile her, it wasn’t fair to judge her before he knew her, nor taint the fantastical thoughts he already had about her.

They had lunch in the butterfly exhibit, sitting at the seat by the fountain, Amoreena asking nicely if Spencer could sit in the middle so they could both talk to him. It was adorable, Amoreena was so intrigued by his mind she couldn’t stop asking him questions.

Y/N made him a sandwich and brought him a water bottle, as well as bringing some apple slices and grapes, goldfish and juice boxes for when Amoreena got hungry on the way home. Like a true mom, her purse was full of napkins and hair ties, random books and toys. Rocks, pine cones, everything a young mind would find exciting.

She was like Marry Poppins, pulling everything and then some out of her purse as she searched for something specific. “I brought you something, I’ve had it sitting around the house just moving it to different spots over the years, and thought you’d like it.”

It made him giddy to know she was thinking about him, he couldn’t sit still as he anticipated what it was. She pulled a small metal pin out of her bag then, taking the backing off and clipping it to his pocket.

“Best tour guide ever,” she whispered, reading the words to him with a smile.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet,” he shrugged, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach as they were swarmed by the beautiful creatures.

“It’s like animal crossing in here,” Amoreena said to herself as she looked around, kicking her feet as she sat on the bench, tilting her head back and forth absentmindedly as she took it all in.

He wasn’t sure when he stopped doing that; when he started to mask his true self so much that he no longer felt free in public, taking a moment to copy her movements and just enjoy the moment. Making her smile as she noticed him copy her with adoration, not to tease her in any way whatsoever.

“Can we talk when she’s looking at the fossils?” He asks Y/N softly, knowing that she’ll be the most open when Amoreena’s tiny ears wouldn’t be there to remember everything she says.

“Yeah,” she nods with a small smile. “How about I throw out our garbage and we head to that surprise?”

Amoreena jumped off the bench, tugging Spencer towards the door as Y/N cleaned up, following them eventually.

—

They had the classroom all to themselves and Amoreena was still for the first time all day. Standing in the middle of the room as the lights adjusted, changing the glow from blue to amber as they warmed.

The walls were filled with posters and informative signs, there were glass cases showcasing all the finest fossils and bones known to man. And a sand table in the middle of the room, smocks and brushes for archaeology all set up and waiting for her.

“Once you get all suited up, and we’ll get you a little mask so you don’t breathe in any of the dirt and dust, you can dig up whatever is hidden in there!” Spencer announced.

Y/N helped her into a smock, handing her the brushes and asking her to be extra careful with the plastic chisel and hammer. She was beaming from ear to ear the most toothy smile he’s ever seen.

Y/N stopped to take a photo of her then, holding her instruments in front of the sand table, “get in, we’ll tell everyone that Milo took us on a special tour today.”

Spencer kneeled close to Amoreena, she leaned in and wrapped an arm around him to get him in closer, always being the one to choose how much contact she made with Spencer. He would never want to overstep with someone else’s child.

“Beautiful!” Y/N cheered, locking her phone and slipping it back into her jeans as Amoreena turned to the table of sand, dirt and clay.

She got right to work, not skipping a beat as she leaned in and started to dig. Spencer stepped back with Y/N, knowing Amoreena was going to be in her own little world for as long as they left her alone.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m great, I’m just a little surprised,” her voice is soft, low enough that it stays with him. “You’re really good with her for a fed.”

He laughed, nodding his head as he registered her joke. “Ex fed, and I have a 12-year-old godson, Henry.”

“Ahh, so no kids of your own?” Her voice was small, she took a look at his hand to avoid eye contact and he understood.

“None, no wife, no love children hiding out there in the world that I know of, it’s just me, I promise,” he tried his best to ease her anxiety about introducing a new man into her child’s life.

She nods slightly, “you seem too good to be true sometimes.”

He huffed out a small laugh, pressing his lips together as he looked at her, “pretty sure I’ve been dreaming since I saw you.”

She shoved him as she laughed, “would you like to come back to our place for dinner? I know it’s a little weird, believe me, I know, but we live on my parent's land and my mom’s making enough shepherds pie to feed an army.”

“Yeah I’d love to, I’ll get a cab home after,” he felt a swirling in his stomach, nervous and excited all at once.

“Okay,” she whispered, “or we can get to know each other, and then you could sleep on the couch and I’ll bring you back into DC in the morning? I have to drive in any way.”

He licked his lips and nodded his head, wondering what other kind of invitation this could be. If it was pure hospitality, wanting him to be safe for the night instead of inside some stranger's car, or was she wanting alone time with him.

The thoughts turned around in his head over and over making him dizzy, “okay, yeah I’d love to,” he managed to slip the words out without falling over them.

She smiled, tight-lipped and small. Looking up at him with a new look he hasn’t seen on her yet, one he’s only seen in a few faces in his time, and yet he believed her’s the most.

She was smitten with him as much as he was with her.

He sighed, smiling back at her just as soft. She reached her hand out to hold his, walking towards the table with him in tow. Leaning over Amoreena’s shoulder as she unearthed her new most prized possessions.

—

Amoreena was the funniest kid to drive with, He sat in the passenger seat of Y/N’s car with her in a car seat directly behind him. She was singing, cheering, pointing out the window to show him all her favourite things on the way to her house.

Telling him stories about the make-believe people she created to live in the houses, the trolls under bridges and the names of every cow in the field along the long driveway of her grandparent's farm.

“Bob and Linda are an interesting pair,” she warned him as they pulled in closer and closer. Dirt flying up behind the wheels as she drove fast, knowing every bump and turn from memory.

“They will be asking you every question in the book and if you’re going to be looking at the animals they will insist on putting you in flannel and a cowboy hat, it’s a tradition for visitors,” she explained it in a way where he knew she wanted him to think she hated it, but actually she looked excited to do it to him.

“I can’t wait,” he smiled.

“Amoreena has already told them all about you at dinner last night, so they are expecting her to drag you here tonight,” she pushed the blame onto Amoreena, downplaying her affection for him in a self-conscious way he could feel.

He didn’t want to profile her, but it wouldn’t turn off. He was desperate to know her more, to know if she felt the weird tugging in her heart that made him think soulmates might be real. A pain so intense that if he had to explain it to a doctor, it was like his heart was a negative charge and he was being drawn to her much more positive one.

“We have 16 cats, 46 cows, 13 chickens, 4 ducks, 50 sheep and 1 horse, her name is buttercup,” Amoreena informed him, stealing the attention once again.

“Wow, who’s your favourite?” Spencer turned to her, watching her kick her feet as she looked out the windows.

“Probably Alfonzo our fluffy show cow, or Rufus, our dog,” she said softly. “Sometimes nanny lets him sleep at our house.”

“That’s so cool, I’ve never had a pet.”

“What?!” Amoreena stopped, pressing her lips together as her eyes shot wide open, thinking it was the most absurd thing anyone has ever said.

“My mom was sick when I was growing up so I spent my time taking care of her, I didn’t have time for a dog,” he said softly, saying it in a way that wouldn’t scare her.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said softly, reaching her hand out to pat his knee as she kept her eyes on the road.

Then she was pulling in past a big house, around the bend behind it, past the garden and the trail to the barn towards another house. It was big and white, probably big enough to have 4 bedrooms. Many levels, with multiple build-ons from years ago ageing to match eventually.

It was covered in vines, ivy and flowers. It was just like miss honeys. He felt something unspeakable, opening his mouth softly to breathe as his eyes trailed up the siding to the shingles.

He couldn’t believe it.

“Home sweet home,” her wonderful voice brought him back to reality. Saying the word that matched the feeling in his chest.

“Wow,” he whispered. His mouth moved to say words, not a single one slipped through the cracks, his lips touching with fake syllables as he stared at it.

“It was my grandma’s, it’s the house she raised my dad in,” Y/N explained as she put the car in park.

“Mommy had me as a gift for GG,” Amoreena added from the back.

“Her great-grandma,” Y/N nodded with a soft smile, biting the inside of her lip as she fought her feelings. That was a touchy subject that he was going to pry into, later on, wanting to know every single thing about the most exceptional women in the world.

There was a cat sitting on their front step, introduced to him as toothpick because he was the smallest in the last litter. And then the name of every single cat on the way back up to the main house.

Simon and Gar-funk-field twin orange brothers, Alaska the all-white one, strawberry shortcake had a red heart on her butt, oven-mitt for comedic effect obviously as if they others weren’t funny enough, as well as shovel and Catrina… all 16 of them had a name and Spencer was not going to forget a single one.

“Welcome! You must be Doctor Reid,” her father was a very large man, it shocked Spencer slightly.

He was like Santa Clause, it was more than a bit of a shock. Thick grey beard, bald head, red flannel and dirty work jeans, probably in his late 60’s. He was what you imagined Santa to look like outside of Christmas, on holiday with his wife.

He looked like a man who lived a long and happy life, he had a wife who cooked good meals for him, he probably didn’t mind sitting back with a beer most nights. There was definitely going to be sports memorabilia inside and a million photos of Y/N and Amoreena, and the purest energy known to man. Family love.

He hated how fast he profiled it all in his mind, trying to drop that aspect of his inner monologue moving forward.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Sir,” he said softly, nodding lightly as he placed his hands in his pockets. Letting it be known he didn’t touch people, and weirdly being respected.

“Please, it’s Bob or Poppy Clause,” he laughed, shifting his attention to Amoreena as she climbed the stairs towards the porch.

“How is my lovey?” Bob asked her softly, “may I have a welcome home hug?”

“Ah,” he smiled and nodded to himself. He was used to it, asking permission for her sensory issues. Spencer was impressed, and a bit emotional at the fact someone his age was respecting a way of life many didn’t care to understand.

Amoreena gave him a hug, throwing herself into his arms, “no beard tickles,” she instructed, holding onto his shoulders as he kept his face away from her.

Y/N placed her hand on Spencers back, “I told you they were a lot, my mom is worse.”

“I feel very comfortable here, don’t worry,” he assured her.

“I should worry,” she laughed, “you’re one of them, oh god.”

“One of who?”

She tilted her head at him, shaking her head, “eccentric, full of life, bursting with weirdness that would probably be a strange purple goo if I could see it.”

He pressed his lips together as he thought about it, nodding softly in agreement. “There is nothing wrong with that, it just means I’m having fun and living my best life from now on.”

“Welcome to the family,” Bob added, a simple saying that invoked a feeling of pride he long yearned for.

—

Dinner was lovely, he’s never had shepherd’s pie before. Learning it was ground beef, beans and potato casserole, and somehow there was also corn in there… he wasn’t sure why it was so delicious but he enjoyed it a lot.

It might have simply been the ambiance that made it so good.

Her mother was the sweetest woman, she made everything from scratch. Including bread that he was obsessed with and a pie for dessert, she was overjoyed to have an expected yet unexpected guest.

Knowing there was a possibility he’d come, but not setting a place for him at the table unless he showed. She wrapped him up in a big hug when he arrived as well as after dinner when he helped her move the plates to the sink.

Her dad offered him a beer after dinner, taking him to the front porch to talk while the ladies cleaned up for the night. Amoreena had a strict bedtime routine to stick to, and it wasn’t his place to witness nor get in the way.

“So,” her dad started the interrogation easily. “I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if Y/N didn’t trust you. And she doesn’t trust many people.”

“I can promise you I’ll never hurt either of them,” he said with the utmost confidence. “It’s been two days and they’ve brought me more joy than I can explain, and I’m never going to take that for granted.”

“Good answer,” he smiled. “Now, farmhouse rules are as follows; you can roam where ever you please, just ask permission before using any equipment, we’re more of a petting zoo than a farm now so the animals are overly friendly, try and keep them inside the gates.”

He was a bit flustered, computing the fact that he just trusted him like that. Maybe he was Santa Clause, making a list and checking it twice, and Spencer happened to cross off every box to land him on the nice one.

“Sounds good,” he smiled. “Thank you.”

“Believe me, sonny, I know what it’s like to want to impress the old man, but it’s all about Amoreena,” Bob warned him. “If she loves you then so will Y/N, and she falls fast.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m the same way.”

“That’s what Y/N was saying, I think it’ll be good for Amoreena to know someone like her, we try our best to get her out there and making friends, she’s smart enough to move up some grades but she’s a kid, y’know?” Her father basically describing his own childhood back to him.

“I graduated high school at 13,” he presses his lips together, hoping it doesn’t come off as a brag. Taking a sip of his beer to take the edge off how awkward he felt.

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” he smiled at Bob, who was smiling right back, “it led me here.”

Bob hummed in response, taking a sip as well as he sat back in his rocking chair, watching over the cows in the field as the sun began to set. It was picture perfect, unbelievable.

Wet feet on the hardwood floor caught his attention then, Amoreena was in her PJ’s as she ran towards the door. Putting on her rubber boots and swinging open the screen door.

Her hair was wet, falling into her eyes as she pushed it out of the way, “are you joining the parade and dance party?”

He acted like he knew what that meant, “sure?”

“Yes!” She cheered, “hurry up mom!!”

Y/N walked down the steps slowly, shaking her head as she laughed. “You are so impatient, the animals aren’t going anywhere.”

“No, but Spencer will!”

It made his heartache, the thought of leaving.

“Come on,” she slipped back into her shoes and joined them on the porch. “Off we go, see you later dad.”

“Be good, make wise choices,” he teased her.

“Okay old fart, sleep well,” they had a friendship that was admirable.

Spencer followed with glee as Amoreena said goodnight to all the animals, parading down the path towards their house as she made sure to talk to everything on the way there.

“Every night we pick 2 songs to dance to, it gets all the sillies out and rewards us for a day well spent so we can bless our bodies with a good sleep,” Y/N explains as she unlocks the front door.

A cottage full of books in the middle of the woods, that dream he always had, coming true as she ushered him inside. The smell of coffee drifting towards him as he noticed the brown candle on the mantle surrounded by photos of Y/N and her family.

She placed her keys beside it, kicking off her shoes and making sure Amoreena did the same. In the living room, she connected her phone to a set of speakers, letting the little one pick out 2 songs, queueing them up to play as she bounced with anticipation.

“Tonight’s selection is today was a fairytale by miss Swift, and Anne Hathaway’s cover of somebody to love, form the cinematic masterpiece that is Ella Enchanted,” Y/N announced like she was hosting the grammies, pretending her phone was the mic before hitting play.

He knew somebody to love, the Elton John version, it was a song that Penelope and Emily sang at karaoke when they reached 11 shots each, so not very often. But enough to have him remember the words, singing along with them as they danced.

It was a better workout than Derek had ever put him through, they held hands and jumped around, he twirled Amoreena around, pretending to do the tango with Y/N. Waving their arms in the air, it was the most carefree he has been in ages.

The songs fit the situation more perfectly than any of them seem to realize, he’s falling head over heels in love with this family that he met yesterday. Something in him saying that he needs to stay, that this is where he was supposed to be.

Getting Amoreena into bed was more difficult than Y/N imagined, she didn’t want to stop talking to Spencer. Only finally agreeing to sleep when she learned he would still be there for breakfast in the morning.

“Can you read me a book from your brain?” Her sleep-deprived eyes blinked as she asked him softly.

He looked at Y/N from the doorway, she nodded, patting the bed for Spencer to sit on the edge.

“Any book?”

“Any book.”

“Bedtime for baby star,” he says softly. Remembering all the late night’s he’s heard JJ whisper it on the back of the plane, in the corner of a police precinct in the middle of nowhere, in a twin bed beside his as they shared a hotel room.

“Once there was a baby star, she lived up by the sun. And every night at bedtime, that baby star wanted to have some fun,” he recited the words in an exciting tone, just low enough to soothe her into sleep. “She would sine and sine and fall and shoot and twinkle, oh so bright, and she said ‘Mommy! I’ll run away if you make me say goodnight.’”

Y/N looked at her with a fake stern look, leaning in enough to rub their noses together. “And then her mommy kissed her sparkly nose and said, no matter where you go,”

Y/N kissed her on the nose, “no matter where you go,” she repeated.

“No matter where you are, no matter how big you grow and even if you stray far,” to which Y/N repeated. “I’ll love you forever because you’ll always be my baby star.”

“Goodnight my sweet Amoreena,” Y/N kissed her head softly and stood, Spencer, joined her by the door.

“Can I have a hug?” She asked him softly, he looked at Y/N for approval once again.

She placed a hand on his back as she nodded, watching him lean in and hold Amoreena softly, “goodnight, I had a fun day today.”

“See you tomorrow,” she smiled, closing her eyes for the night.

Y/N replaced her lamp light with a night light, closing the door on the way out of her room as she blew a kiss towards her baby, “love you.”

“Love you more,” Amoreena whispered back.

Spencer was nothing but smiles in the hall as she looked at him, “I’m going to pour myself some wine and sit in the garden, are you interested?”

“Ecstatic actually,” he replied, following her towards the kitchen and letting her pour him a glass.

Behind her house, she had an overgrown garden, every area of her life had a reference to a book somewhere, a story someone else told that she’s now claimed as her own. Living in the world she always wanted, inviting Spencer to stay a while.

She let out a deep sigh as she sat down on the outdoor couch beside him, dropping her head on his shoulder softly, it was more contact than he was expecting. She had barely touched him.

“You should know that I like you a lot,” Spencer spoke softly. “I don’t want you to think I’m just some creep trying to get close to you and your kid, I genuinely think you’re wonderful and Amoreena is magnificent.”

“I trust you, I googled you and everything, don’t worry,” she laughs. “I wouldn’t invite you to the museum and let you give my kid a hug without doing research.”

“Not everything is on there you know.”

“I think you are very wonderful as well,” she said softly, “but I know it’s just the fact that you’re so darn cute that’s making me feel like I should drop everything and invite you into our life.”

“I understand,” he replied. Waiting for her to tell him that this was the last time she’d see him, it was inevitable at this point in his life. Nothing good lasted for long.

“So I need you to know all about me and I need to know all about you before you decide you want to stay because I can’t handle bringing you into Amoreena’s life for you to just leave her,” another deflection.

“You might want to hear mine first before you decide if you want me to stay around her,” it sounded scarier than he planned.

“Alright then, you go first,” she insisted with a small smile, eyes darting past him towards the cows in the field. Not ready to be vulnerable with him.

“I worked with the FBI for 15 years, I’ve helped catch some of the worst people in America, and some of them have vendetta’s against me. As far fetched and insane as that sounds,” he pre-warned her, watching her face drop as she understood the weight of his words.

“I have been framed and sent to prison for three months, I was kidnaped, tortured, drugged, and assaulted, not to mention shot a few times. I have more trauma than you can imagine. So that’s something you have to consider in a future with me,” he whispered so she wouldn’t hear how ashamed he was of himself.

“And the fact know that I can’t always keep myself or you safe, no matter how far disconnected I am from the FBI. It doesn’t matter if I change my name and hide here for the rest of my life off the grid. There are some fucked up minds out there that don’t want to let me experience true happiness. But in all honesty,” he finally stops his long-winded rant. He bites his bottom lip as if he is holding back someone worse than all the things he just said.

“I’m willing to die tomorrow if it means my last day on earth was this fucking perfect.” Tears welled in his eyes, “I am so tired.”

“It’s okay to cry, I would be too,” she says softly, a frog in her throat as she nodded. Tears welling in her eyes as her face scrunched.

He blinked and a tear escaped, slipping down his cheek and being swiped off by her thumb in an instant. She kept her hand on his cheek softly, he leaned into it.

“I’ve been running for so long,” he whispers because then the words don’t really exist. They’re secrets only for her to hear and then they’re gone. “I was basically groomed for the FBI, I was their personal computer and they didn’t give a single shit about the wear and tear on me.”

He started to sob. She cradled his head against her chest in one swift motion, holding him close and rubbing his back. Shushing him softly as he cried into her shoulder.

“You know that Katy Perry song?” she changed the subject as he calmed down, understanding his pain and accepting his warnings, but continuing down the path anyway.

“Summer after high school when we first met,” she sang like an angel. “It was like that, I thought I met the love of my life after I graduated, we got engaged a year later, then he died in a car crash and I was single for a very long time.”

“Then my grandma got sick and she made a bucket list. Number one was to become a great grandma,” her words became whispers as she tried to stop the tears, following Spencer’s tactic even though it failed so miserably.

“I said fuck it. I’m going to have a baby and make my own family, one person I can truly care for and never lose. She’s my world, she was the light of my grandma’s life until it burnt out, she has changed my world in ways I can’t even explain.”

It fell silent as they absorbed each other’s explanations of their issues. The root of their problems, the core of their soul were the most hurt was kept locked away, opening the doors and swapping scrapbook snapshots of terrible memories.

“I think,” she says, finally, like music to his ears. “I think that I’m okay, I’m positive actually that I want you in my life like this. All of you is fine with me, you’re not that scary, and I’m tired of waiting for the right moments because it means losing the people over time missed. I want to live my life fully, I’m at peace with the unknown and with you.”

Peace.

“Not to quote Taylor Swift at you or anything, but she does have a point in that song,” she laughed lightly and he felt her chest jump. Life bursting through her as she made light of an incredibly touchy subject.

“I don’t know the song,” he whispers.

She gasps, “oh that’s the line, I finally found it. Our first fight can be whether or not you like Taylor Swift, don’t even think about how upset Amoreena will be if you’re not, I’ll kick you out.”

He can't stop laughing then, digging his face into her neck as he holds her closer to his chest. Breathing her in as she finishes his laugh in a giggle, rubbing her hands down his back as she presses her cheek to his head.

“I haven’t had the time to listen to her this year I know she’s been busy releasing music,” he admits, “but I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She shifts awkwardly on the couch to take her phone out of her pocket, opening her music and playing the song she was speaking of.

He simply rests his head on her chest, both of them laying back onto the cushions together, finding a comforting spot for their arms as they listened to the words, silently.

He absorbed it all, every word she said bringing forth a feeling he’s never felt before. True understanding, like someone, gets him. Gasping audibly when she says ‘robbers to the east clowns to the west, give you my sunshine, give you my best.’

He wasn’t alone.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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honeypirate · 3 years

Text

Flower in the Sun

AU where Beni has a mom (I don’t know if he doesn’t I just know about his adoptive father/master)

Benimaru x Fem!Reader

Not edited don’t hate me for the many mistakes

5.5k words

You tried to focus on the celebration, tried to let go of all the stress you felt right now, but it was difficult considering you JUST moved here less than a year ago, opened your shop in town and lived above it, and now your whole apartment/shop was obliterated. back to basically square one for who knows how long.

You sat by the edge of the celebration, chewing on your lip as you thought about your options. You’d have to move your shop back to the barn on the gardens you have outside of town but you didn’t get as much business that way.. plus you can’t really sleep there. You could move back in with your mother but she lived near company 3 and baked them a cake every sunday, your sisters family lived in the Shinjuku District but they were holy sol nuts and you really didn’t want to have to ask them of all people. So the barn was the only real option right now, no bed but at least it has a roof and a door with a lock. A voice cuts through your thoughts and you pay attention when you realize it belongs to Benimaru

‘If I wrecked your house last night feel free to stay at the guardhouse until it’s fixed. It won't take too long.” you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you watched those without homes gather around him for details, you pick yourself up and walk over to the group so you could hear what to do.

At the guard house you are directed to a small room at the back since you were just one person and not a family. You didn't mind that it was a small space or that you were farther away from anyone else, you were just grateful you could stay in Asakusa and keep your business running. You are told that you can help yourself to breakfast in the morning and dinner will be served for everyone at night and you were given a few essential toiletries.

When you are certain that everyone else staying there had used the showers, you gave it some extra time so that the hot water will replenish before you made your way silently down the quiet halls of the guard house.

You walk past a door that was open, you glance as you walk by and see Benimaru help bandage Konro, the sight brought a small smile to your lips as you continued your course to the showers.

Their conversation after you passed went something like this

“Waka”

“I saw her”

“She's beautiful. You should..”

“No”

Konro sighs “if you don't, maybe I wilL”

“You’re such a pain in the ass”

Your shower was amazing, they really spared no expense on the quality of shampoo and conditioner. You were so glad to not smell like smoke anymore as you changed into a new set of clothes, they were too big and just a fire force soldier shirt and jumper, but you didn't care. They were clean and comfortable. You folded your dirty clothes into a small stack and carried it back to your room, making a mental note to run to the clothing store in the next few days.

The next morning you are up at dawn, walking through the still quiet hallways towards the kitchen. You get warm in the baggy jumpsuit so you undo it halfway and tie the arms around your waist before you open the doorway. Inside there is a long table with different foods set out and at the end is Benimaru and Konro. You bow to them “thank you for letting me stay” you say, your voice as quiet as the morning. “I’m sorry for destroying your home.” Benimaru says and you rise, a smile on your lips as you make your way farther into the room before kneeling down in front of the table across from Konro.

“You’re Y/N L/N who owns the herb and flower shop” Konro says, recognizing you now that you were up close. You nod and reach out, grabbing some bread “yes I am, although my shop will now be run from the gardens just outside of town until it is rebuilt. My herb garden was on top of my apartment building so some special herbs will be out of stock for a while” you laugh and rip a piece of bread and put it in your mouth. “There is a garden behind the guardhouse that is hardly used, feel free to plant whatever you like” Benimaru says and you blush before bowing your head “thank you very much Captain Shinmon.” He frowns and Konro chuckles under his breath “just call me Benimaru” he says and you nod “of course. Benimaru” you notice the sunrise outside and stand again “thank you again, for breakfast as well” you say with a bow before leaving the room, your unfinished bread in your hand to finish on your way to the gardens. you had to set up your new shop in the barn on the flower farm you made sure to leave as early as you could since that would take a while, good thing you had one employee to help you, your close friend Jo.

One eye like a bullseye and one like an X. you couldn’t look away from him even if you wanted to. Here he was, in your shop, pursuing the already made bouquets you had made that morning and the potted plants Jo had taken care of. You watched him talk to Jo for a second from your spot at the back counter, before resuming his shopping.

You could hear Jo next to you saying your name but it didn’t register that she was talking to you until she walked in front of your vision “huh?” you ask and she glares “huh?! I have been practically shouting at you for the past five minutes. Could you take your eyes off of the Captain for a second please?” your cheeks turn red as you look down sheepishly “sorry Jo” you whisper and she laughs at you then says “he’s actually looking for you, oh flower master” you gasp and look up into her eyes “WHAT?” you practically shout and then crouch down behind the counter when you see his head turn. Your coworker leans over the side and says “and he’s coming this way now. good job dummy” before she leaves “fuuuck” you whisper and panic, how are you going to okay this off? “didn’t know you hated me this much y/n. Is it because I destroyed your home?”

You dip your head back to look up at his face which is now looking over at you as he leans over the counter. His facial expression was uninterested but he had curious eyes. His voice was monotone, like he had way more things to be doing than this mediocre errand. You pop to your feet, your face feeling like 100 degrees. “No!! I mean yes! I mean!Ugh” you sigh and close your eyes, stealing a moment before opening your eyes, a customer service smile and voice when you say “no, I dont hate you. Sorry i'm just a little flustered. How may i help you today?”

“I need some flowers and when you mentioned your garden at breakfast I thought I would come down. I need whatever says “i’m sorry for not coming to dinner for 5 months i still love you mom” you bite back a giggle as you think of his mom, a regular at your shop who would come just to talk “say no more, come with me and we will build you a perfect bouquet” he nods and you grab a flower basket and a knife, leading him out the side door into the garden.

“So these ones are blue hyacinths, they represent peace and truth” he hums before shaking his head “no” he says and you chuckle, leading him down a few rows before stopping again “these are called star of bethlehem, they mean reconciliation” he leans in close “i like these ones” he says and you smile “perfect” you say and reach out cutting a few and adding them to your basket before walking down a few more rows.

You spend half an hour looking around at the flowers and chatting easily. “So why haven't you been to dinner with your sweet mother? She comes in every once in a while and only has nothing but kind things to say about you” you ask while you finish the arrangement of star of bethlehem, yellow roses, white ivy flowers, spider mums, and lily of the valley. You spruced it up with some ivy greenery and the last of the rosemary and chamomile flowers in the shop, the seeds you’re going to plant back at the guard house were already in your bag in the back.

The bouquet you made was beautiful and you felt proud as you tied around a few ribbons “Just busy is all” he says and you hand the bouquet over “well, tell her y/n from the flower shop says hi” he nods “i will. thank you y/n” he says, his fingers brushing yours as he takes the flowers. “Will i see you at dinner?” he asks and you smile “wouldn't miss it” he nods “good Konro will stop asking me now” you chuckle, does that mean Konro likes you? You push the thought aside “have a good rest of your day, Benimaru” you say and he gives you a small smile “you as well” you notice the flush of pink on his neck as he exits the shop.

“Ohhh these are lovely! Are they from y/n’s garden??” Beni nods “she say’s hi by the way” his mom smiles and brings the flowers into the kitchen to grab a vase “that girl is so sweet, she always remembers FooFoo and if i bring her with she gives her treats.” Benimaru feels his heart warm as he crouches down to scratch the tiny head of the senior dog laying on the floor. “She moved her shop to her garden until it’s rebuilt” he says, remembering the way he felt her eyes on him in the store, the way her hair shown in the sunlight as she brought him around her garden, telling him about the means behind every flower he asked about, the way the conversation was easy. He found himself wanting to talk to her again, trying to find any reason to go back to your garden. “Benimaru!” his mom shouts and he looks up to her “sorry ma” he says and she just shakes her head with a smile “shes quite beautiful isnt she?” his mom says as she places the flowers in the vase “yeah” Beni says “she is”

When you get back to the guard house after work it’s already dark and quiet, you had a lot of work to do once you closed and it unfortunately made you miss dinner. You roll your shoulders as you take off your shoes by the back gate, picking them up as you walk into the back garden. You hum softly to yourself as you find a watering can and hose, filling it up halfway and bringing it with you over to the garden boxes filled with dry dirt. You chuckle at the sight “poor unfortunate neglected dirt, not for long tho” you whisper as you wet the soil, sure you could plant more things at your garden around your flowers but if you did both you'd have more supply when they were grown. Plus it was the perfect time to plant. You kneel by the garden box and mix up the soil so it was all wet and combined before planting the seeds. Unaware of the man on the back porch watching you as you went, a smile on his lips.

You snap your fingers and the hanging lanterns above you light, making your face glow as you look up and make eye contact with Benimaru, a smile on your lips when you notice his shocked expression. He recovers quick with a smile you can tell he’s trying to hide “you missed dinner” he states and you chuckle “I’m sorry to make you miss me” you say with a chuckle “Would you like to help me?” your voice was quiet but he heard it like it was right by his ear.

He stands from his spot and walks over to you, his feet making soft sounds when they hit the dirt. He kneels down next to you and you take his hands in yours, making him cup them, the dirt on your hands rubbing off on him. “Take some of these” you dump some seeds into his hands “and plant them in a row, a couple finger widths apart and a knuckle deep” he nods as he follows your orders, you start on another row and hum softly as you go.

“You’re a pyrokinetic” he says and you chuckle “kind of. I mean. I never had any training so I can’t fight or anything with it. Nothing compared to your talents. But technically yes” “You’ve watched me so often you know of my talents?” he asks and you watch as his fingers push seeds into a neat row. You chuckle “yes, im not ashamed to say it. You’re captivating and insanely talented.” His cheeks flush and he clears his throat “is..is this right?” He asks and pulls his dirt covered empty hands away “that’s perfect Beni” he holds his hand out for more seeds and you smile as you pour some more into his palm.

“These are chamomiles, one of my favorites although common” you say “why do you like it?” he asks and you feel your stomach birth a butterfly or two “when i was younger, my grandma owned the flower garden. She would plant beautiful flowers and let me pick whichever ones I wanted. Then at the end of the day she would let me go pick as many chamomile flowers as i wanted so she could make tea. As we drank tea should tell me stories, I love chamomile because it reminds me of quality time and the stories that can be shared over a good cup of tea”

You finish your story as you both finish planting. You wipe your hands off on your pants as you stand up with him “thank you for your help” you say with a smile that he returns “thank you for the story” you nod “anytime Benimaru” he picks up your shoes and hands them to you before he puts the watering can back and disappears inside the guard house.

You snap your fingers as you walk inside, the lanterns going out before you close the door.

You don’t see Benimaru for the next few days, he wasn’t there for breakfast or dinner, you guess he has fire force duties that keeps him busy but you can't help but wonder how he is.

You get home from work late again, a wedding coming up that has been keeping you busy. You shower and then make your way through the guardhouse to the kitchen, it’s quieter than usual, a few families homes are already built and yours should be soon as well. You walk into the kitchen and smile when you see Beni already there “hi” you whisper as you shuffle to the cupboard to grab a mug and some tea “hi y/n” he says when you stand next to him at the stove, the tea kettle already heating up “can’t sleep?” you ask and he nods. You notice the dark circles under his eyes and how bloodshot they look. You hum in response and frown at the response your heart had when you saw him. Like you wished you could take care of him and rub his back while he lays in bed. “Are you just getting back?” he asks and you nod and cover your mouth as you yawn “yeah. Mrs. Kim’s daughter is getting married sunday and I’ve been making all the arrangements. White peonies, lavender, and ivy, it’s gorgeous” he notices the bandages on your fingers and dark circles under your eyes that almost match his. He wants nothing more to hold you while you both fall asleep. He’s so sleep deprived and he can see you are as well, but his thoughts are cut off by the whistle of the pot. “Do you wanna sit?” he asks and you nod with a smile.

You sit and talk at the little table in the kitchen, the only light coming from the one hanging above the table. It felt like you were in your own world as you talked and shared stories, laughing at the many things he told you about growing up and meeting Konro.

You told him more stories about your grandma, about your childhood. You bonded over mutual feelings for religion and politics, over what you want for the future. Before long you’ve finished a cup of chamomile tea and your second cup has gone cold, at some point he grabbed your hands and was now playing with your fingertips as he told you the story of how he became captain, sharing his fears with you in the safe space of the quiet kitchen. “I think I will always believe that Konro could have been better at this than me” he whispers and you lean forward, reaching up to brush his hair from his forehead before cupping his cheek “for what it’s worth, I think you are perfect” you hear his breath catch as his eyes look up into yours “perfect for this company, for this town. I talk to many of the people who live here and I have only ever heard praise and kindness for you. Your people love you. I know you don't like sweets that much but I’ve seen you accept them AND eat them and that says so much about you. People always give you so many gifts because it’s the only way we know how to give back, to you and the company for protecting the people and always being there.” Your hand slips as you go to move it from his cheek but he moves his hand up, covering yours and holding it in place.

“You may not feel worthy of this mantle, Waka” you smirk and give him a sweet look, knowing about his nickname and using it in this context makes his heart race as a small chuckle escapes his throat. “And no matter what i say, you can live with what makes you comfortable. But know that you are ultimately not living the truth.” He ponders your words for a moment and brings his hand down, taking yours with it. “The truth being that you DO deserve this position. You ARE worthy. You ARE the best and most qualified for this” his fingers laced together with yours “and you have the support of your team and basically the whole city...” your cheeks blush and you look down at your hands together against the table “and you have mine as well” you whisper

Benimaru was gone the next few days, Konro as well. Leaving you in the guard house as more and more families left, able to go back to their newly built homes until only a few of you remained.

Your bare feet plop along the wooden floor, echoing in the empty quiet hallway as you make your way to the back. Your long duster cardigan hitting the back of your ankles and making your shorts and tank top seem even more cozier. The sound of birds makes you smile as you take a deep breath of the fresh morning air, walking to the little garden with a watering can in your hand.

“Good morning” he said softly, his voice strained and tired. You smile and your head snaps up to look at him, your smile falling as you take him in.

You set down the watering can and stand, making your way to him in an instant. “Are you okay?” You ask, your hands reach for him but stop a short distance away. His face had a bandage on his cheek and forehead, his left hand wrapped, and a bruise forming around his left eye. “Just a couple scratches is all” he says, taking one of your hands with his right hand and slowly leads you back to the plants. “They’re growing nicely” he says as he looks down at the sprouts, already a little tall and poking out of the dirt in just a week.

He drops your hand to pick up the watering can, raining down the cool liquid over your plants, the dry lightened dirt turning dark brown. “You’re going to work?” He asks and you shrug “I don’t have anything special to do today, and if I’m being honest” you blush and take the can from his hand, walking to put it away so you didn’t have to look at him “I wanted to go in today so I didn’t think about how much I wanted to talk to you”

His breath catches and his wounds don’t even throb anymore, he wasn’t paying attention. All that matters is the soft way your voice reached his ears, saying something he didn’t even realize he was hoping for. You’ve been missing him, just as much as he seemed to miss you. “Will you get some breakfast with me?” He asks, his voice normal, hiding every anxiety and feeling deep in his heart, but as you turned and met his eye you could see the hope he's feeling in them.

“I was thinking” you say after Konro excuses himself from breakfast, leaving you and Beni alone. “Could you.. I mean. Do you know of anyone who could train me with my abilities? If it’s possible I could get stronger then I want to” your hands are in closed fists against your thighs and you me eyes shone with the determination you feel. He chuckles softly, popping a piece of fruit in his mouth and thinking as he chews. “I think I could figure something out. Tomorrow night work for you?” You beam at him, grinning from ear to ear with excitement “that works perfect!” You place your hand on his arm that rests against the table “Thank you Benimaru” you say softly and he nods, trying desperately to suppress the blush he feels is imminent.

The next evening you went out to check your ganden before you were supposed to train, you hoped that he had found someone nice to help you. “Are you ready?” He asks behind you and you smile while you stand from your place by the small growing herbs “as I’ll ever be! Who will you have train me?” You ask and meet his eyes, raising yours brows in question, noticing his face was without his bandages today and his wounds really did look like scratches. “I will” he states and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

You take a couple steps towards him “no!” You exclaim louder than intended and you laugh once awkwardly as his eyebrows raise “I mean. You’re hurt! and my power is so low it’s not worth your time. I’ve seen the boys you train! their power and skill is levels higher than me” he walks over to you, setting his right hand on your shoulder and leaning down to your ear “I want to” he whispers and your cheeks dust pink as a small gasp leaves your throat, oh how he desperately loved that sound. He pulls back with a smirk “and I’ve said” he raises his left hand that still had a small bandage around his palm “it’s just a scratch” he begins to walk away from you, over to the training space and you’re stunned for a few moments. Standing there and watching his back as he walked away, your heartbeat racing and your brain empty save it for the way Benimaru’s breath tickled your ear.

“Well?” He asks when he realizes you’re not following him, turning back and looking at you with daring eyes, snapping you back into reality. Your smile spreads and the sight sends him over the moon, a feeling invading his heart that he’s become enamored with these past few days having you at the guardhouse. You were the sun slowly rising in his life, and he was drawn to your warmth. “Let’s do this” you say as you reach his side, the back of your hand brushing his for only a moment but it sends fireworks up his arm.

“Show me what you can do, outside of lanterns” he says as he stands to the side, his eyes taking in your form as you stand facing him. You hold up your hands and nod once, the tip of each finger igniting in small flames. “I can’t make them bigger but I can do..” you tighten each flame to smaller tips, growing in power and heat until they blazed like the head of welding guns. He nods once “she’s more powerful than she realizes” he thinks as he watches the flames reflecting your eyes.

“That’s good” he says as he approaches you “is this all you know how to do?” He asks as he takes a hold of your wrists gently, turning your hands and looking at your flames. “I couldn’t really practice a lot growing up so this is it unfortunately” he chuckles once, mostly just air from his nose, but it made you smile anyway. “Can you control which fingers or..” before he finishes you start randomly lighting and unlighting fingertips. “Now try to shoot the flames out” he says and you nod, trying to push the flames out but just ending up breaking a sweat and flashing your flames, not going anywhere else.

After fifteen minutes of absolutely nothing happening you sigh and flung your hands up in the air “I can not be this WEAK” you exclaim and shake them as you scowl. He sighs and comes over to you, reaching up and smoothing out your eyebrows gently before holding his hands out to you.

You hesitate, your hands almost being set in his before you pause and he raises his eyebrows “chicken” he whispers and you drop your hands against his “tch” he clicks his tongue and you roll your eyes as he uses his thumbs and first two fingers to rub your wrist gently “it’s your first test. Relax” he says, his fingers moving to the middle of your hand “there are many other things we’ll try, none of which make you weak if you can’t do them” goosebumps running down your spine as he moves down each finger, your breath catching in your throat with how gentle he was being with you and how nice it felt for him to be doing this to your hands, another sound that he found he adored. He brings your hands up and kisses each knuckle softly, effectively short wiring your brain yet again. “Try again” he whispers, letting your hands go and standing back again.

You took a deep shaky breath and closed your eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and the warmth he has ignited in your heart, before opening your eyes and shoving your hands out, each finger popping as flames, strong, bright blue flames, shoot from each finger.

“BENIMARU!” You shout and laugh, dropping the flames and turning to run and throw your arms around his neck “oof” he mumbles as you hit him, his arms wrapping around you to keep you both stable. “I did it! I did it! I did it!” He sighs softly into your hair, “I saw” he whispered “wanna find out what else you can do?” He asks, his lips brushing against the side of your head. You squeeze him closer for a moment before pulling back “does this mean I should call you my Senpai? Or my Captain?” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the blush that rose to his cheeks “No.” he says, but you laugh when he won’t meet your eye.

“You’ve come a long way for just a few hours” he says as you walk back to the garden, the sun beginning to set “you’re a really amazing teacher” you lean in close “Captain” you whisper before making a turn for the hose. He stops in his tracks after you whispered, his heart fluttering in his chest as he forces himself to calm down before turning and walking over to you

You look up to him from where you were crouched, running hose in one hand after you washed your face and the back of your neck. “You look a little flushed” you say as he crouches by you, reaching out for the hose. He just Humphs as you move the water closer to him, a smirk in your lips and mischief in his eyes that he would have known right away had he looked up at you.

Your thumb covers the end just so as he leans down, raising the pressure as it hits his hands spraying his face as well. You chuckle before placing your fingers against your lips, holding in as much of your giggles as you could. He slowly looks up into your eyes, water droplets falling from his hair and nose, he was annoyed for half of a second until he meets your eyes, notices the sweet mischief in your eyes and hears your soft giggles as they leave your lips. “Did you just..” you nod and slowly stand to back away from him, the mischief rising to his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. He stands and takes one step towards you and you raise your emotu hand, “WAIT” you say and he stops “we.. we can talk about this..” you say with a smile, giggles escaping with every exhale. “I think we’re too far past talking about this” he says before he moves, quick with his hand out towards the hose but you scream and try to run, spraying him behind you as he gets closer. He laughs as he grabs you, his arms wrapping around your middle from behind not caring about the cool hose water that was currently soaking him. He reaches up and takes the hose from your hand and turns you around before smiling and slowly running the water across the back of your head then across both of your shoulders making you gasp and tense in his hold. “I think we’re even now” you say with a shiver and a laugh and he cocks his head “not yet” he says softly, his hands reaching up to tuck your damp hair behind your ears.

You gasp, his cold fingers cooling off your warm cheeks as he cups your face. The hose forgotten about, dropped on the grass by your feet, soaking the earth and making your toes muddy. But nothing else matters besides the way he’s looking at you and the way the sun is turning the sky red behind him.

Your hands grip the sides of his soaked shirt as you lean into him “and how, tell me, can we make it even?” You ask, following his hands with your face as he pulls you closer, his body curving forward as you lean forward on your tip toes, brushing your nose against his making his breath hitch “can I show you?” He whispers and you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as he closes the last inch between your lips.

Kissing him felt like the first breath of fresh air after an infernal has been put to rest. Felt like the first relaxing step into a hot spring. It sends goosebumps from your head to his toes before being followed by electricity making your skin tingle. Fireworks dance across the backs of your eyes as he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you tight against him. You sigh as your heart sways within your chest, comforting and warm as he holds you like his lifeline.

His thumb brushes softly against your cheek when he pulls away. Your hands smooth out his shirt before running your hands up his wet chest, his hands moving down to both rest against your waist. You can’t think of anything to say, just savoring the moment as you look into his eyes.

“Are you guys coming to dinner?” The twins say from the porch, effectively startling the hell out of you. You gasp and clutch your heart as Beni just smiles down at you, his back to them. “Thanks. We’ll be there in a minute” he says and they skip off. “We should get going. We’re gonna get sick” you say and reach up, running a hand through your damp hair. He reaches down and turns off the hose as you gather it, putting it away correctly and he reaches out, hooking his fingers with yours. “Mom will kill me if you get sick” he says softly and you laugh “maybe you could.. help me clean up. Make sure I don’t get sick” he coughs a few times, choking on his spit in shock and you laugh “Beni” you say softly and pause in the doorway, looking up at him. “I’m playing. I really like you. I’d like to take it as slow or fast as we both are comfortable with, okay?” You reach up and ruffle his damp hair, pushing it out of his eyes. His cheeks flush and he leans down, pressing his forehead to yours as your eyes close. “I adore you” he whispers and your heart flutters. “Let’s go get cleaned up” he whispers and squeezes your hand, guiding you along with him to the showers.

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cuebooks · 3 years

Text

A Night of the Lonely

Main Character: Alastair Carstairs

Series: No, but two parts separated by: {}{}{}{}{}

Word count: 2,542

Reading time: 3-5 minutes

Any questions? Ask them in a reblog or in the comments and I’ll happily answer them

Hope you enjoy!

The cold winds caused Alastair’s skin to prickle and flush red with the bitter temperatures. He had taken these roads every night for the past week to find his father in the rundown bar. Sipping whatever drink infatuated him that night.

Alastair wanted to head home and see if Elias could make it alone. If he could survive in this cold without Alastair. But Cordelia was tucked in her bed. Her soft snores echoing from her bedroom to his ears. He and Sona had finally read her to sleep, getting her just calm enough to slip into it. She was waiting for Elias. So was Maman. They wanted to see him in the morning.

So he continued on. Letting his cheeks get whipped by the winds. His hands shivering in the pockets of his maroon coat. His favorite coat that Cordelia picked out for him. It showed off his complexion and his beautiful eyes, his Maman had said. He always wore it during these treks to remind himself that someone cared for him. It was his armor against his father.

He walked into the rundown bar, a mix of discolored woods, a lively hearth, and soft chattering from the small crowd filling it. He looked up to the bartender that was maybe a foot or more taller than him. Her hair tied back into a plait allowed him to see her face. “He’s over there, Alastair. Be careful; he’s had more than usual tonight. I took the last drink away from him, and he….”

“It’s okay. Thank you, Anira. How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.”

Alastair stared up at her. Her features soft and shaded from the light of the flames. “I can pay, I promise. Besides, I don’t want you to get in trouble again.”

The look in her eyes told him she wasn’t going to say anything, so instead, he handed her a few bills that were more than enough. “Plus tip.” He grinned, showing his missing tooth on the left side of his mouth. He had lost it two days before, an achievement that made him proud; his mother smile, and Cordelia gag. She only offered a smile and said thank you.

As she walked away, he heard her mumble something along the lines of ‘he shouldn’t have to.’ He didn’t ask for her to repeat it. He’d heard it before. He knew he shouldn’t have to fill a role other than big brother and child, but he did. What was he supposed to do? Let his mother and sister handle Elias? No. At least it only hurt him. At least he could protect someone.

He found his father on the same stool as yesterday. His hair a mess, and his jacket off, strewn somewhere. His beard had started to grow back, and Alastair made a mental note to help him shave later.

His feet made small sounds against the wood, his weight not enough to make much noise. He placed a hand on his father’s, and Elias looked at him and smiled. “Esfandiyār!” He slurred, and Alastair wanted to step back. But he didn’t. Maman and Cordelia, he repeated in his head. He did this for them. For their happiness. Besides, Elias wasn’t as bad as he could have been. He seemed happier than he had earlier in the day.

“Come on. I want you to read me a bedtime story. Like you used to.” His voice was soft and warm, mimicking the way his mother spoke when she was reading them bedtime stories or in her children’s blanket forts.

“You’re old enough to read on your own. Let me finish this.” Elias said, staring into the bottom of his glass filled with a tinted brown liquid.

“Cordelia wants you to read to her.” Alastair tried again; usually, her name helped catch his attention more than his own. He didn’t know if it was because she was younger, his little daughter with her bright smile, or if he favored her. Maybe it was simply because she wasn’t the child in front of him. Elias set down the glass at her name, and turned— falling off his stool— and headed for the door. Alastair righted the stool, thanked the bartender, and left. His short legs falling behind.

Elias started to wander down the street aimlessly as if he didn’t know where he had come from. “This way,” Alastair waved him over, and Elias straightened his back. The cold wind righting him. Or alerting him. “Did you know brother Zachariah has a meeting in town soon? I could summon him if…” Elias only gave him a disapproving glare. Elias did everything to keep Alastair and Cordelia away from Jem. Maybe because he had left Jem. Maybe Jem— Zachariah, Alastair corrected himself, knew that their father wasn’t alright.

Elias told Alastair stories about the silent brothers— how they crept into your mind and tore into you and corrupted your sanity. Alastair knew it wasn’t true, but the seeds had already been planted, and the vines only continued to grow. But still, Zachariah was family. Alastair always asked the angel to protect him when he heard of his travels. He recalled the kind stories he heard of him, hoping one day to carry the Carstairs name half as well as he did. Kindness, open-mindedness, and honesty, he thought. That’s what makes Zachariah amazing, along with his never-ending love and strength. Never-ending love Alastair remembered. Love the man in front of me.

So with love in his fragile heart, he slowed down and held his father’s hand. “I don’t need your help. I can make it home just fine. I’m not you,” Elias grumbled and pulled his hand away from Alastair’s, and stalked ahead down the wrong street.

Another piece of his heart broke off. He wondered how many were left. How much more could his father break his heart?

Alastair looked at his father ahead, “I only wanted to hold your hand,” he whispered. The cold wind whistling over his quiet words.

The door unlocked, and Alastair held it open for his father.

Elias walked in and stumbled a bit to a table pressed against a foyer wall, but it was barely noticeable if it hadn’t been Alastair who was watching. His father was good at hiding when he drank too much; of course, he always pushed his own limits. But Alastair knew him too well. Watched it happen too often. He had to. It’s how he knew when to pull Cordelia and Maman from him and distracted them when Elias went too far. Like always, he fixed himself a drink, and Alastair went to fetch water to refill the liquor that had been poured.

The only footfall was from Alastair’s tiny feet. He couldn’t hide their sound. He was too tired, too— he should have been in bed hours ago.

He went to the couch and found his father asleep. Snoring softly like Cordelia did. He smiled a little at the reminder that Elias was a father to Cordelia; people could tell— she looked like him and Maman. Alastair had always been happy he garnered his looks from his mother’s side— at least, that’s what Maman had always said.

Alastair slowly moved to sit on the floor by his father’s hand and pried the glass from his grip, and returned the glass to the table. He took the water he collected and poured it into the alcohol bottle along with the remaining liquor from the short glass. Filling the bottle so no one would notice the sunken level.

Alastair pulled a blanket from the closet and carried it to the couch, laying it on the floor and pulling Elias off the couch carefully. A small thud of his father’s body to the blanket made Alastair look around to make sure Cordelia hadn’t woken up. He pulled the corners of the blanket off the floor and tugged. Tugged the blanket into the guest room, through the halls, and past the stairs.

Alastair eventually got him on the bed. The covers pulled to his father’s feet.

Alastair had finally untied his father’s shoes and placed them under the bed. Undoing his shirt next, spraying a scent to cover up the sour smell his father radiated from the night before. Alastair knew you didn’t smell drunk until the next day when you started to sweat it out. He sighed— he hated that he knew that.

He changed Elias’s pants next. His mother hated when people slept in items that had been worn outside to bed— the distinct smell of dirt, she passed the disdain onto Alastair.

He set down a glass bowl filled with water. And slowly grabbed a razor and shaving soap. Dabbing Elias’s face with a washcloth wet with warm water. Elias only groaned.

Alastair gently lathered the soap onto his face. Shaving where his father preferred. Gentle and with the grain. Never nicked or cut. Perfect like it had to be. And wiped the rest off with the cloth.

Alastair’s hands were tired as he shakily poured the water out as he was tired and barely tall enough to see over the counter to the bathroom sink.

He reset the bowl under the sink—the razor on the side of it, next to the shaving soap.

When he returned to the bedroom he placed the covers over his father. “Night, baba. Sleep well and have only good dreams.” He crawled back off the bed, careful to close the door behind him quietly. He left the water on the nightstand and moved back to the couch. He picked up the bottle of alcohol and placed it back where it belonged. The sun hadn’t started to rise, but as he moved to the steps, he saw the moon passed halfway across the sky. He wished there was a rune to transport him instantly to his room, under his soft blankets.

The stairs were quiet underfoot. But something stopped him in the halls— Cordelia.

Cordelia stepped out from her door and looked at Alastair.

“Layla? What’s wrong?” He asked, moving beside her.

“I’m thirsty, Ali.” She whimpered as she rubbed her eyes. Her hair was falling out of the braid their mother had styled.

“Come on, Layla.” He offered her his hands, and she jumped to him, giggling lightly as he picked her up. Her small frame was easy to hold for him. As he walked to her bed, she asked him, “may we play ‘save the castle’ tomorrow? You always play a great knight. Always so protective and kind.” She giggled as she struggled to say the words coherently at her young age. Their mother taught them big words, working with their speech every day like she had when she learned English. She was determined to make them perfectly fluent in Farsi and English, among a few other languages.

Alastair tucked her back in. “I’ll get you some water, and of course, we can play ‘save the castle’ tomorrow, but you have to sleep.” She nodded softly as she recrawled under her sheets and smiled at him. He slipped out of her room, saying he’d be right back.

He didn’t want to make her wait, so he went to his room, where he had a few glasses of water for Layla. She always did this. Sometimes knocking on his door for help. His hair was a darker red than hers for now. He knew it would turn black soon, and he was excited about it. He would look more like his mother and his mother’s parents— something his mother told him to be proud about. He hoped he would always be proud to be Persian.

He placed the glass on the nightstand. “There you go, Layla, be careful; it’s only a glass. There is no lid.” She smiled at him and grabbed the glass. She was slowly drinking the water. Then carefully placed it back.

“Thank you, dadash.” She cuddled back under her blankets, and he kissed her forehead like their mother always did. He sang her a short lullaby in Farsi. His voice carrying around the room, and her eyelids became heavy.

“Sleep tight, Layla.” He let go of her hand.

“Sleep tight, Ali!” She whispered.

He closed her door again and passed his mother’s a few doors down, and checked on her. Her deep sleep let his heart settle a bit more. And he moved on to a dark room, where he lit a candle. His father’s study. He opened a book and looked at the latest news of silent brothers. His father had some connections, and Alastair had written to them and asked about Zachariah. He knew if his father found out, he’d threaten to kill Jem, but Alastair couldn’t help it. Jem was a Carstairs. He was family. He read over the latest news. Jem had just gone off to London again for William Herondale, claiming that Gabriel had demon pox. He shook his head and laughed softly.

Mr. Herondale had the dedication he had to admit. But Jem had made it there, safe. He smiled, happy Jem was okay. He put the book away and pulled out another piece of paper— to write a letter to Mr. Herondale. Asking, just like his father would have, when Cordelia could see Lucie again. Cordelia missed her and Lucie’s family. Alastair had to admit he missed them too. He always laughed and felt happy in London. Not the place but the people that surrounded him. He admitted that he also liked how the Herondales and Mrs. Gray were buffers between his father and his family. Cordelia had been asking, and he could tell Maman wanted to get out of the city. So he wrote. Over and over— perfecting his handwriting, his diction, his grammar. Making everything perfect.

He placed it in an envelope and left it for Raisa. She would send it off in the morning. He scrambled off the chair. Lowering his feet off one at a time since they couldn’t reach the floor while sitting yet.

After doing some of his father’s work, he left the office, and the sun had started to rise. He huffed softly and frowned but shook his head and moved toward his room. He could get a few hours before he had to wake up and help Raisa get breakfast ready.

Maybe tomorrow, his heart will heal, and his father will help put it back together— not destroy it. But he knew better than to give himself false hope. He knew better than to trust the man that was weak. That had put the weight of the family on Alastair’s shoulders instead of holding it himself.

He pulled the covers over himself. His maman, sister, and father were all tucked away by him, and yet he sat in the dark room. Alone. No light. Wishing for hope.

But he knew better.

Just one more day, he said. Like he had for the past several months.

The shadowhunter academy, he thought. Just make it there, and you’ll be okay, he whispered into the dark.

He hummed himself a lullaby his mother taught him, and when he finished, he drifted off to sleep. His tired bones and aching heart settling into the mattress. Accepting the dark.

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