#I love being aro and attempting to write about wedding shit

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme

everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf

JUNO

First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away

Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him

Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.

Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue

Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that

Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)

Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.

NUREYEV

First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.

Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof

Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc

Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)

Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3

Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together

Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.

RITA

First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute

Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.

Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said

Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.

Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives

Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.

Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good

JET

First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”

Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him

Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement

Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au

Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it

Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr

Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.

BUDDY

First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.

Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.

Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her

Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all

Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards

Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known

Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right

VESPA

First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time

Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other

Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good

Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute

Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.

Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.

this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3

#michaelburnnham #riley replies #be gay do crimes in space #the penumbra #juniverse

[markantonys]

In my opinion, in the show, Clarice never wanted to marry, she wanted to become a nun. Whether we can claim she's aro, asexual (no sexual desire to be specific on the ace spectrum.), or lesbain/bi/pan, maybe a combo, and she makes it clear she doesn't want to marry Lorenzo. She does it because Carlo convinces her God would want her to. But Lorenzo's cheating (which is wrong.) bothers her so much. Why do you think that is, since sure it could be embarrassing but from the show it seemed a well kept secert. So why would she make a big deal of it for a man she never wanted to be with and seemed to think him full of himself? Just curious for your opinion! Personally I think she was more jealous he was with Luc rather than Lorenzo's cheating.

if clarice never wanted to marry lorenzo and isn’t romantically interested in him then why is it wrong for lorenzo to continue seeing the woman who actually is in love with him and vice versa? check and mate. why would i say something so controversial yet so brave. seriously tho this is the exact problem, the show sets up that clarice is super unenthused and reluctant about the marriage and doesn’t seem to like lorenzo as a person very much in these first episodes, but then makes her really upset that he’s sleeping with someone else without giving a clear reason for it. why would it bother her so much when she never wanted to marry him (or anyone) in the first place? lorenzo and clarice are arranged-married newlyweds who barely even know each other, let alone love each other, and the conflict hinges solely on the 21st-century audience going “oh cheating=bad” regardless of the actual specific context, which itself doesn’t really provide a solid reason for why clarice (or the audience) should be upset about lorenzo continuing to see lucrezia. whereas with cosimo and contessina, it made sense that contessina would be hurt by cosimo’s affair given that they’ve been married 20 years plus all the exile stuff and building tension between them for which the affair was the boiling point, but with lorenzo and clarice it’s like they tried to do the same thing when all the circumstances were completely different, and it didn’t work.

now to attempt to answer why clarice is upset about the affair besides lackluster writing lmao she claims that the affair has humiliated her before the family, servants, and all of florence, but we don’t see a single thing to indicate that besides this one line where she says so. it would’ve been so easy to have clarice at bianca and guglielmo’s wedding overhear random guests making fun of her bc of the affair or something, but nothing of the sort happens. all she sees is lorenzo and lucrezia having a casual dance and chat, and no one but clarice cares or notices them at all. so that line honestly makes clarice look overly paranoid being like “EVERYONE THINKS BADLY OF ME BC OF THE AFFAIR” when in reality we haven’t seen a single person besides her give a shit djkfg if lorenzo WAS blatantly flaunting the affair, then yes that would be disrespectful to clarice (by 21st-century standards anyway), but like you say, he’s not doing that at all, he really is trying to keep it private and there’s no indication that anyone outside lorenzo’s immediate family is even aware of the affair. feeling publicly embarrassed and disrespected could’ve been a very effective reason for clarice’s feelings IF THEY HAD SHOWN US instead of just telling, but they didn’t

another reason i could see making sense is her brief mention to lucrezia about how clarice has to be the one to give lorenzo a legitimate heir, and her being upset bc she thinks she’s failing her duty as a wife and therefore her duty to god (since carlo linked the two in her mind) since lorenzo never sleeps with her. however it’s not clear if that’s even the case - they had a very nice wedding night and lorenzo was really sweet with her that night, so it’s not like he’s completely ignoring clarice, unless we’re meant to assume that they haven’t slept together since the wedding night. which, again, isn’t clarified. if they did want us to believe that lorenzo was sexually neglecting clarice (ok i laughed typing that phrase fjgkh) then they shouldn’t have made him so romantic and loving with her on their wedding night bc those two pieces don’t fit together.

tldr: overall clarice’s reaction to the affair is a pretty bad case of telling instead of showing

#imo it makes it kinda hard to sympathize with clarice in the love triangle bc like #it doesn't even make sense that she's hurt i don't understand the reason for it #whereas lorenzo's and lucrezia's heartbreak at having to be broken up is much clearer #answered #Anonymous

[timeisacephalopod]

Hey just wanted to ask if it was even possible if both the partners are aro, if so will you be willing to write something with that, if yes pretty pls write something with stony😊😊🙏.(Stony! I know its shocking but I do ship Tony with almost everyone its just that thunderiron is my obsession atm 😁😁) also thanx for all the other fics and all the prompts you have filled😘😘.

Its been awhile since I’ve written Stony! And I’ve never done something with both partners being aro so this will be fun :)

**

“Wanna get married no romo?”Tony asks, looking up at Steve and grinning.

He frowns, “why would we get married then?” he asks.

“Tax benefits,” Tony says immediately, like he’s thought this through.

“You’re rich, why the hell would you need tax benefits?” he points out.

“I don’t but I figured you could make use of them. Also I kind of want to throw a party and a wedding in an acceptable excuse. Pepper won’t yell at me if we’re getting married,” he says.

“Neither of us have much interest in marriage though. Pepper’s not an idiot, she’ll see right through that.” Tony has actively rejected any notions of marriage for… well, the better part of his life and Steve isn’t exactly apposed to marriage but he doesn’t really care about it either. He wonders if things were easier for Tony to figure out given his general repulsion to all things romance. Finding the term aromantic and knowing it fits, Steve thinks, would be much easier if you already knew how much all things romance put you off. It took longer for him. Its not that he doesn’t like romance, he doesn’t really care either way and has a sort of guilty pleasure for romcoms, so when Bucky suggested he was aromantic it didn’t seem right.

He had stupidly thought that you had to be… well, more like Tony for something like that to fit. But Bucky made a point- Steve has dated around and he cared about all the people he dated, loved them even, but they all had the same complaints. Steve just didn’t seem that into their relationship. He always denied it at the time, but looking back on things he was holding back. Then he met Tony, who already seemed to have things figured out and it felt a lot less… performative, he supposes. Less like he had to act a a certain way to get a certain result. It took time still but he eventually realized that when Tony described how he felt about things he felt the same way. Sam had been pissed about owing Bucky twenty bucks.

“You know what, I resent that. She’ll totally accept our cool party with fancy clothes and stuff,” Tony says.

“Why not just throw a party like a normal person?” he asks. Tony always has to go make things complicated when he could just choose a normal, average solution like a normal, average person. But this is Tony Stark- the man couldn’t be average if he tried. And Steve is sure that he does sometimes try.

Now isn’t one of those times though because he looks like Steve just gave him the perfect solution to his problem. “I could just throw a party,” he says like this hadn’t occurred to him before.

“Yeah, honey, you can just throw a party,” he says, shaking his head.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “why is being called bee vomit considered a term of endearment?” he asks and Steve laughs.

“Better than ‘platypus’,” he says and Tony makes an offended noise.

“I will have you know that Rhodey thinks my nicknames are adorable,” he says.

Steve snorts, “I should have stuck with Bucky as a life partner,” he mumbles.

“I should have stuck with Rhodey,” Tony says, nose in the air. “But then who would remind me I could just… throw a party.”

“And I’d have to deal with Bucky and Sam bickering,” Steve says.

Tony lets out a long sigh, “and they bicker so much. Its so annoying.”

“Right? If I didn’t know better I’d think they were enemies, not lovers.” They were mean too. Honestly they must have one hell of an understanding of one another to be that mean and not actually offend the other.

“Think Pepper will be mad about a party? I’m not very good at keeping things in check,” Tony points out.

No, he isn’t, but that’s what Steve is for. “Is she your keeper? Just do some paper work and send her and Natasha on a cruise or something so when she hears about it she’s half way across the world on vacation,” he says. 

Tony snorts, “I like how you started that with a ‘fuck Pepper’ statement that immediately led into a way to appease her and make sure she’s not around to bust us. That’s a good idea though, she’ll be happy about that paperwork- I’m like seven years behind,” he says and Steve lets out a shocked squeak.

“You get in that office right now! How do you live like that? You’re going to get it all done before any parties are happening here and you’re apologizing to Pepper!” he says, shoving Tony towards his office even as he protests.

Steve pushes him into the office and shuts the door. “You aren’t allowed out until you’re done with all that paperwork! And don’t even think of going out the window,” Steve tells him.

“What if I have to pee?” Tony asks.

“There’s a bathroom attached to your office, Tony, nice try.”

On the other side of the door Tony groans, “what if I get hungry?” he asks.

“I’ll slide you cheese through the key hole,” Steve tells him, laughing at his own joke.

“You are horrible. Rhodey was a much better life partner,” Tony tells him.

“Well Bucky might have depression, but at least he mostly has his shit together. Do your paperwork,” Steve tells him.

“Rhodey wouldn’t make me do paperwork,” Tony mumbles.

“Instead he’d make you go for runs with him in the morning,” Steve says.

He hears Tony sigh on the other side, “you’re right. Paperwork is better than exercise. I fully believe exercise should be illegal.”

“I think pineapple on pizza should be illegal but you still eat that like a heathen. Paperwork, Tony,” Steve tells him, walking away. Tony yells after him but seems to realize his attempts to distract Steve by talking to him to avoid his paperwork isn’t working so he stops talking presumably to actually do things. Knowing Tony though he’ll end up watching seven hours of cat videos and going on a Twitter rant about a stupid subject like how Mothman was a hoax.

#steve x tony #stony #alternate universe #aromantic tony stark #aromantic steve rogers

[forever-aro-blog]

If anyone should object to this marriage, please speak now or forever hold your peace

Note: My contribution to the Ace Fic 2017 event. I love Brian (no romo). Check out the Brian Kinney tag for Brian’s aromantic-ish moments from the show! I hope I pulled this off to end up on a positive note after all.

If anyone should object to this marriage, please speak now or forever hold your peace

Prompt: 1. Write about a character you headcanon as ace/aro

Show: Queer As Folk

Character: Brian Kinney

Headcanon: Homosexual aromantic

Summary: This is my version of Brian’s reaction to Michael and Ben getting married taking place in episode 4x13, but should make sense on its own. A clash between points of view of an aromantic and a romantic resulting to more mutual respect.

  As unexpected as if was, Michael and the group were pleasantly surprised to find out Brian had secretly decided to join them in Toronto.

“I’m glad you made it, Brian,” Michael said, hooking an arm around Ben, looking around the bar at his friends. “Because we… have something to announce.”

Ben furrowed his eyebrows and gave Michael a quizzical look. “I do,” Michael clarified. Ben gasped when he realized that he was hearing the answer to his earlier proposal.

“Do what?” Brian asked.

“We’re getting married,” Michael beamed. “It’s legal here in Toronto.” Emmett squealed loudly, while Debbie and Ted were on the verge of tearing up.

“That’s amazing!”

“My son is getting married! This is the happiest day of my life!”

The couple was surrounded by their excited friends showering them with congratulations while Brian awkwardly stood in the back. Failing to find the motivation to attempt to join in, he quietly slipped out of the door.

“Brian!”

Michael jogged out of the bar, looking around for his friend. He didn’t need to go far – he quickly spotted Brian standing with his back to him, staring into the darkness. He didn’t even need to ask for an explanation.

“Are you really going to be like this?”

Brian sighed and slowly turned around. “What do you want me to say, Mikey? ‘Congratulations for ruining your life’? ‘I hope you two live a very nice boring life like an average couple of heterosexuals, shackled to each other forever, slowly driving each other mad’? You know I don’t bullshit. I’m not gonna put on a fake smile and cheer for something I don’t believe in.”

Rolling his eyes slightly, Michael considered whether it was worth to get into this conversation at all. He knew full well how this would go. It was Brian, after all – his attitude towards marriage and monogamy was no secret. Nevertheless, he decided to give it a go.

“Don’t give me that, Brian, it’s getting old.”

“As long as it’s still true,” Brian smiled ironically.

“It’s not like that. It’s a profound, loving bond between two human beings who care about each other.”

“Oh, you make it sound so appealing,” Brian taunted him.

“Forget it. You will never understand it.”

“I’m glad we agree on something.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“Needing someone else to get through life is not?”

“It’s not about a need, it’s about love and appreciation-”

“And, let me guess, rainbows and pink unicorns shooting glitter out of their ass!” Brian faked an excited tone.

“You’re completely incapable of actually caring about anyone. You don’t ever care about anything! You’re just going through your life, doing whatever you want, saying whatever you want, not giving a shit about anyone’s feelings. You’ll never understand what it’s like to have what Ben and I have. You’ve slept with half of gay Pittsburgh, but you’re the loneliest of us.”

Brian scoffed. “You call it being lonely, I call it sweet, sweet freedom. Freedom that you’re willingly giving up in order to play house with your professor.”

Michael wasn’t getting anywhere. “Can’t you just be happy for me? This is what I want. This is what’s going to make me happy.”

“Of course you think that. You’re brainwashed. The mainstream assimilationist way of thinking has gotten to you.”

“I hate to break it to you, Brian, but there are actually happy couples out there. Did you know that, huh? So why can’t we be one of them?”

“Even so, why do you need an official approval for that? Why do you need to have someone legally assigned to you- ”

“Jesus Christ, Brian. Are you done?” Brian didn’t say anything. Encouraged by Brian’s silence, Michael continued. “Just because you’re incapable of comprehending it doesn’t mean you have to ruin it for everybody else. Look, I know you don’t believe in it. But I do. Isn’t that enough? Can you just be my friend and respect that?”

Without a word, Brian walked off.

“Yeah, that went great,” Michael said into the darkness and returned inside.

  After some time to cool off, Brian circled back to the bar. He went in and saw that everyone was still there, having a good time. He studied Michael and Ben from afar. It was the little things, the barely noticeable gentle touches, the whispering, the casual conversations about mundane things. The more he watched it, the more alien it seemed. Was this intimacy? He didn’t like it. There was a vague sense of discomfort forming inside. Too close. How can they be comfortable with that? He shifted his focus on Michael. He did seem happy, so there was that.

When the group was finally leaving the bar, Michael came across Brian leaning against a wall outside. He nodded to the rest and stayed behind.

“So, I’ve been thinking,” Brian broke the silence.

“Wow.”

“Shut up. So you really want this, huh? And… look, I never believed in it, but maybe for you I do. I guess you know what you want. You know what is going to make you happy. And I do want you to be happy, Mikey. You know I do.”

Michael couldn’t believe his ears. “That’s… Thank you. I know how much self-repression this must have taken to say.”

Brian smirked slightly. “For the record, I still think it’s a load of crap. I’m just not going to say it out loud. As much. Because you’re my friend. And this is what you want and you want me to support you. So I will.”

The world starting to make slightly more sense to Michael again. Baby steps. “So… will you be my best man?”

Brian swallowed a wave of inner resistance. “I have to participate? I thought I would just get wasted and pretend to watch.”

“It’s not like you’re the one getting married. Come on, you said-”

“Yeah, okay, okay. Anything for you, Mikey,” Brian waved his hand dismissively. Now he was truly gonna have to get wasted.

“I knew you’d come around,” Michael smiled. He decided to tease Brian a little. “Who knows, maybe one day, you and Justin-”

“Whoa, hold on. Don’t you dare say it.”

“You know, not that I think it was really a possibility with your stubbornness, but I think it would be great if you finally opened up a little. Come on, you have to care deep inside.”

“Yeah, right,” Brian offered a sarcastic nod. “Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. You know what? I don’t care. I couldn’t give shit about what you or anyone else has to say about my life. But the least you could do is admit it. Admit you are a hypocrite.”

“A hypocrite,” Michael was still trying to understand the sudden change of the tone of the conversation.

“Yes, Mikey.”

Michael crossed his arms. “How is that?” he asked in a tone that made very clear he was only asking to humor Brian.

“You complain about me not liking your way of living. You are so offended by me saying anything bad about relationships. But what are you doing, Michael? All you and everyone else do is giving me shade and pretending that you’re better than me or happier than me just because you indulge yourselves in that charad-” he stopped himself and winced “-in being in a committed relationship. ‘When will you finally stop sleeping around, Brian?’, ‘You will find the one someday, then you’ll understand, Brian’,’That’s so sad and lonely, Brian’. Newsflash. I am not lonely. I am not sad. I am not pathetic. I certainly am not planning on changing a damn thing. You know what is pathetic? Acting as if you’re so high and moral just because you have a different preference about how to spend your life. You know what that reminds me of, Mikey?”

“And you think this is a completely emotionally healthy choice?“

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you’re limiting yourself, you’re afraid to let yourself-”

“I’m not afraid, I just don’t want it!” Brian shouted, silencing Michael at once. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Not doing something I have no interest in doing is not limiting. What is it with this arrogance? Someone doesn’t want the same thing you do, so there must be something wrong with them, they must be fixed, because your way is the only right way, is that it?”

“No, it’s not-” Michael shook his head. “It’s just… it’s a really great thing. Why wouldn’t you want to experience something so nice?”

Brian snapped his fingers victoriously. “Here we go, the root of the problem. It’s not a great thing to me! Don’t you get that? Just because you feel happy about it, for some mind-boggling reason that still escapes me, doesn’t mean that everybody feels the same. Seriously, have you been listening to me all these years? Don’t you know me at all?”

“Of course I know you, Brian. It’s just… it’s hard for me to imagine that it would not feel happy.”

“It’s hard for me to imagine it the other way.”

Michael pondered for a bit. “Guess we just gotta take each other’s words on what we want, huh?”

“Guess so.”

“You’re still gonna be my best man, right?”

Brian let out a sigh.

 PS: The title was inspired by the wedding scene from the episode, where the camera cuts to Brian who looks tempted to say something, and also this song (seriously, don’t you ever ask me for a relationship advice)

#aromantic #aro #Brian Kinney #fanfiction #ace_fic2017