#I love all the stupid kitschy shit they have in this game

[onetuffbunny]

I: Lucretia My Reflection

It's not that Lucy doesn't like spending time with her Dad with her younger siblings around because she does but one, Pru has absolutely no off button and you can only play-wrestle so much in a day before you have to do other things. Two, Avery's four. What the hell are you supposed to talk to a four year old about? Three, sometimes she just wants to hang out one on one with him. Four, and most importantly, they literally suck the life out of people.

It's not like they can help it and it's not they even know about it (well, at least Avery; her sister, meanwhile, loudly exclaims that she's a secret vampire any chance she gets but when Lucy herself was a kid, she pretended she was possessed by ghosts, so that might just be a weird ten year old thing rather than any actual knowledge on the issue) but there are some days when the only thing keeping Dad from napping all day is a really, really unhealthy amount of energy drinks. On the plus side, he's getting out bed, which is an improvement over the Bad Times, but on the downside, that's gotta be bad for your heart.

"Anyway, that's why you should always carry a compass when you leave the house. You never know when you're going to get lost in the woods when you're just trying to get back from the grocery store," Dad says.

He lines up his shot, misses completely. When she comes down, he always wants to play mini-golf at this kitschy place with black lights, and every time, he loses. She knows it's on purpose because scatterbrained as he might be, Dad does have ungodly skill at games, only rivaled by R.A. Honestly, she wishes he'd just play for real sometimes but he's not going to do that.

"We should put a microchip in you so if you get lost, they can just scan it and take you back home," Lucy replies. It's a very sensible idea, clearly.

"Woof, I guess," he says. "Hey, not to change the subject or subject you to changes, but, uh, I wanna apologize for comments of an earlier nature. You’re an adult and you’re free to make your own decisions but, like, just make sure they’re careful and safe ones, okay? But if you ever do stupid stuff, just please call me and I’m not gonna judge.”

Lucy’s determined to lose to her dad for once. Her ball goes nowhere near the hole. Success.

“I am not going to do cocaine, Dad,” she says. “I am 100% never going to do cocaine.”

"Yeah, and don’t do the other stuff either! There are at least three other drugs! Don’t do any of them. And if you’re going to smoke pot, just don’t do it a whole lot, okay? You’re an adult but your brain’s still growing, you gotta keep it in tip-top shape, and also it’s bad for your lungs, so if you’re going to get high, I dunno, eat a gummy or something in a safe environment. Also, if you ever pick up a cigarette, I am personally going to walk over to California and kick your ass. But, like, with love. Also, I know that realistically speaking, you’re gonna drink before it’s legal, like it’s almost a given, I know how you animation students are, but, like, be really careful, okay? And don’t do it much. And don’t go to wild parties underage because then someone’s gonna call the cops and then you’re gonna have to run from the cops. And don’t you ever get in a car after drinking. If you drink and drive, I’m gonna kick your ass for realsies. Drinking’s about the quickest way to fuck your entire life up, Goose.”

“We’re genuinely too busy trying to reach homework deadlines to party, Dad. It’s their way of training us for the soulless capitalistic grind that is the modern animation industry,” says Lucy and then she reaches for his hand, squeezes it. “But also I swear, I just smoke a little pot sometimes while playing games.”

He squeezes back.

“Okay. Just be smart, okay? I want you to turn out better than me. When I was your age, I did a lot of stupid shit. A lot.”

Lucy decides to squeeze back as hard as possible.

“When you were my age, you had a whole ass baby. Fucked up.”

He does not squeeze back as hard as possible because Lucy might be strong as fuck -the rare jock in a sea of nerds at school- but that might actually snap her hand bones, but her dad does give a very fuckin’ firm squeeze back before laughing and letting her go.

“Yeah, dude, I know, right? To this day, I ponder what may have become of that baby. I hope she grew up to have superpowers,” he says. “Hey, look, I know I can be kind of a killjoy sometimes but I just want you to know that I’m real proud of you, okay? You’re a groovy human being and I just think you’re neat as fu...heck. And you are killing it in college and wow, that’s great. That is really great. I used to worry a lot that you wouldn’t be able to go and like...holy shit, you got a real frcikin’ good scholarship, you’re going to be an animator, wow. So, you know, keep on being cool.”

Her dad very theatrically sniffles, possibly to cover up the fact that he is, in fact, getting genuinely a little teary there.

“An attempt will be made,” Lucy says and then nudges him lightly with her club to indicate that hey, mini-golf won’t play itself. “You ever think about going to college? You could get into something besides cutting grass. It’s not like you’re too old or anything.”

Which, incidentally, she sincerely hopes he’s not doing that anymore because even if he hasn’t confessed it, she knows he’s a vampire, but she also knows it was never his main source of income. Her dad’s firmly shut the door on ever acknowledging what he actually does for a living and Lucy sure as hell isn’t over here prying for the details.

“Not particularly interested in getting in debt the rest of my life for something I’m gonna fail, kiddo,” he says. “Took me long enough to get my GED and I don’t got the kind of background that office jobs are gonna like. Been thinking about going to beauty school though. I mean, I can style a mean wig and I think I did your hair okay.”

“Yeah, you should! I bet you’d be good at it.”

The ball accidentally goes a little too close to the hole and Lucy can see her father’s visible frustration that his shot wasn’t properly terrible.

“Anyway,” he says, “I guess I just wanna promote an environment where you can come to me about stuff without judgement because my own dad...oh boy. We still don’t talk. When your dad treats real minor stuff -not even anything real bad- like the worst shit in the world, it just makes you wanna do real major, real stupid shit and, like, then you wind up sixteen and living in a rest stop, so good job there, Dad. So, like, if you ever need to tell me anything, even if it’s something stupid you’ve done, I’m here.”

Lucy’s a pro at mini-golf and deftly knocks his ball away from the hole so they can both lose.

“Okay, Dad,” she says. “And...if you need to, you can tell me things too, okay?”

They have a pretty good time playing together, just the two of them. Lucy loses at winning, which means that her dad’s won at losing. Later, they go back home and Prudence celebrates the occasion by gifting her dad the best fireworks fifteen dollars can buy at the roadside stand.

#ooc #drabble #bunny says stay in school and don't do drugs

[the-cooler-king]

How did I ever play World Of Warcraft WITHOUT my Ensorcelled Manawyrm

#I love all the stupid kitschy shit they have in this game #The weird as hell pets #I got a cosmetic toy for my fishing bobber #I got several actually but the best one? #Turns it into a can of worms...... fan fucking tastic #Incredible snails as well #Blizz really hit all my adhd fixations

[biolizardboils]

head’s still full of Mother EarthBound Thoughts so im gonna spill some here. (warning this’ll be super messy and also contain big honkin’ spoilers for all three games)

for context i played and beat EarthBound after it came out on Wii U, then Mother 3 in 2015. i tried Mother 1/Beginnings at some point, but sadly my immunity to Old Game Jank doesn’t extend past the mid-90's. im a relatively young Mom Fan is what im trying to say here

i havent seen anyone here talk about the vid they put out for the Switch ports?? pls watch it its so cute and in-line with the games’ humor! lets all get to know Ness!!

im still watching Curiomatic’s��Mother 3 vid daily and im still noticing new details and shit. and their website's so good too?? felt!Boney has my whole heart

my brain's been on fire imagining how the other two games would look in the same style. and like. it feels criminal to ask so soon after 1 and 2 got Switch ports, but a full 3-games-in-1 remake would be so good for the series for two big reasons:

1. it could fix 1/Beginnings' Jank and tighten its translation, bringing it in line with the other two, and

2. its the one situation i can think of that would force Nintendo to localize 3. like can you imagine if they remade the whole series and then left it in Japan?? people would have their heads!

not to mention a game with a modern 3D engine would be leagues easier to edit than the sprite-based original. cus while im scared of NoA over-censoring the game as much as the next guy, there are a few things in it that could’ve been done more sensitively, and that altering wouldn’t harm the plot if done right. i doubt i need to name specifics

also on the selfish side, i just wanna know what would change in terms of visual design. i wanna see all the enemies move in battle and Pippi with beady eyes like everyone else and how they’d officially differentiate Ninten’s design from Ness’s, and most of all i REALLY wanna see official art of Beginnings!Giygas. i wish to grasp his true form so bad it makes me look stupid

not that i dont like the fandom’s agreed-on designs!! far from it, i love them!! like Giygas having red-and-black eyes as foreshadowing is genius and whoever first came up with it deserves an award

i made a party playlist in case 3 ever got localized back when i was more hopeful about it. how far back, you may ask? i included this unironically. that far lmao

one of my fave things about the series is how, despite being made in Japan, it pays homage to so many distinctly Western pop-cultural concepts that it’s instantly nostalgic to the average English-speaker. the Spielbergian coming-of-age film, the dot-eyed yet contemplative comic strip, the kitschy B-movie monsters, the King-esque entities conveying the loss of innocence, the pairing of psychedelia with an insistence on peace over war. for a funny parody of America, it’s fascinating how right it feels at the emotional level.

speaking of psychedelia, i wanna plug this amazing prog rock cover album that deserves more love. like holy shit, youd think this is how some of these songs were always meant to be played. ive never had a drug trip cus im terrified of messing up set and setting, but to have my first while hearing this played live would probably feel beautiful

speaking of more psychedelia, last month i thought Polka Dot Tail by Ween sounded super familiar, and i just realized why: it sounds like Magicant (the second one). i might try to make a mashup later idk

ive been meaning to watch a vlog of Camp Fangamer’s EarthBound Bash 2015 for years and this week i finally did it! shit looked like so much fun, and i cant think of another game series that’d make for such an immersive event. i could only find one extended video of the Mother 3 bash they did a year later, but it seems like an equally transformative event, if not more despite Lucas being a mannequin

listen....i know people have done the math and ruled it out as a possibility....but i still really like the idea of Ninten and Ana being Ness’s parents. i just think its cute and neat and also opens up some opportunities for angst (something something the fear of your kids inheriting your personal battles)

bonus points for Lloyd being Dr. Andonuts cus i think itd be funny if he was the only character to appear in all three games

while im here confessing my fan sins, lemme add that i treat Smash Bros as canon cus it gave the world such gems as Ness’s eyes being purple and Boney having leg warmer fur

man i remember first seeing Porky in Subspace and thinking he was trapped in the spider-mech thing and i had to free him.... ah, the innocence of youth

removing Lucas from Sm4sh was a bitch move but the trailer when they put him back was honestly SO worth it. like him returning Ness’s favor from Subspace?? everyone noticing he smiled more and being so proud of him?? that was the best day of my life

speaking of bitch moves im still confused by how u get Claus, Hinawa and the Masked Man’s spirits in World of Light. like what the fuck did Nintendo mean by that shit. their placement and the fights themselves are such a specific gut-punch that its hilarious. killing two gods wont bring Claus back

but also its...nice to think that Lucas got a chance to see them again. like maybe one of the other fighters who knew his deal freed them and brought them to him, and everyone let them have a moment before they fought Galeem and Dharkon. imagine Claus being all “told ya we’d meet again someday :’) let’s go beat up that angel thing together!”

also cus Smash made me so used to it, i refer to all PSI moves as PK. even the ones that are PSI in both languages, like Magnet. PK Sue me

so like... im a twin. my sister and i love each other more than anything. we played 3 together, and quickly agreed that i was the Lucas to her Claus. what happens between them in the game is my absolute worst fear. ive had nightmares since childhood with the same basic theme -- losing her to a decision i can't sway her from -- so the final boss and the "hasty brother" line after gutted us. when youre literally linked from birth, it's hard to imagine life without, and even harder to prepare for the possibility. this game forced us to do so, and it hurt like hell, but it strengthened our bond in the process.

theres already a hundred essays about it but i love how 3′s ending manages to reflect every player’s wishes. everyone’s got their own idea of what Lucas wished for, so here’s mine:

the entire planet was purified and made habitable again

all the Chimeras were split into their original animals (but some of them chose to be friends still, so there’s at least one kangaroo and one shark that hang out often)

everyone that Porky abducted from other time periods were sent back with their memories intact (so Dr. Andonuts gets to be with Jeff again and is also less likely to be employed by another asshat)

im one of those people who thinks Lucas didn’t revive anyone who died, because it doesn’t feel right after the characters spent three years coping with it. (all the power to people who disagree tho, it’s all cool!) instead, i think he wished for a new place to honor everyone they lost, resulting in a beautiful new cemetery hidden in the sunflower field outside Tazmily. strangely, it contains lots of gravestones that no one recognizes; one with a haiku written on it, ten crosses lined up in two rows of five, even one the size of a bug; and at the very back, a swirling metal statue engraved in an alien language, lying between two stones marked “XX”.

and finally, i think Lucas wished to meet whatever force was looking after his world all this time, so he could thank them personally... and thats how you, the player, ended up in the game :)

im still utterly charmed by the image of the player, struck blind from being pulled into another world, being lead by the hand (and pokes in the back) to meet Lucas,,, like its okay sweetie you can say goodbye as many times as you need, im so goddamn proud of you!!! ill see you in Smash okay???

i think thats everything i wanna say? uhhh heres a fanmix i made six years ago

#earthbound #mother 3 #mother #earthbound beginnings #mother 2 #mother 1 #earthbound zero #super smash bros #super smash bros. #earthbound spoilers #mother 1 spoilers #earthbound beginnings spoilers #mother 3 spoilers #me talking #ness #lucas #ssb #mom #headcanons #long #drug mention tw #drugs mention tw #drugs tw #psychedelic drugs tw

[broadstbroskis]

idk if you’re still doing t-swift prompts but if you are could I request brock boeser and mary’s song!! btw loved your matty tkachuk + wearing his name story💕

ahhh thank you 💜💜

here is brock and mary’s song (with some accidental paper rings vibes thrown in, oops sorry not sorry🤷‍♀️)

-----

The evening of your fifth birthday, after all of your friends had gone home with their party bags and the only people left were your family and your next door neighbors, your sister comes running inside to drag you away from your brand new paint set to bring you outside where she was playing with her best friend.

As older siblings of their families, Lauren and Jessica were sure they knew best and it’d was only the start of what was sure to be a summer of being pulled into their games and forced into whatever role they didn’t want to play. The ugly stepsister from Cinderella. The student in class. The worst Cabbage Patch doll.

Luckily, you had a partner in crime of your own. Jessica’s brother, Brock, was almost two years older than you but that still made him younger than the two of them, and in Lauren and Jess’ minds, that may as well have made you both babies, dolls for the two of them to play around with. 

Brock’s sitting on the ground, picking at the grass, looking grumpy, so whatever Jess and Lauren have planned, must be something he’s already been waiting for them to organize for a while. But your face lights up at the sight of your best friend and you happily go sit down next to him, content to just be near him as he continues to pick at blades of grass and see which ones are good for whistling with, while continuing to wait for your sisters.

Really, you’re always just happy to be near him. Brock hung the moon. He’s the best hockey player. He’s always so nice, including you in games with his friends or wandering over to your house after school or practice just to see if you wanted to do something. 

“Okay.” Jess claps her hands together. “I think we’re ready.”

Lauren shoves a handful of dandelions in your hand and pulls you up to stand in front of her and Jess. “Stop!” She shrieks, when you go to make a wish on your bouquet. “Not yet!”

Jess is in the process of man-handling Brock to stand across from you and he’s still grumbling, trying to pull his arm away from his sister, but once he’s standing in front of you, he smiles at you, like the two of you are sharing a secret or teaming up against your older sisters- the way things have always been really.

You and Brock against the world.

“Brock.” Jess signs long-sufferingly. “Do you want to marry YN so that Lauren and I can be sisters forever?”

He gives his sister a look. “Uhh, I guess?”

She huffs at him, annoyed. “You’re supposed to say I do!”

“I do!”

“YN.” Lauren addresses you. “Will you marry Brock so that we can all be related and stay friends forever and ever?”

Is that what this meant? Weddings made you related to someone forever? As if you’d ever say no to that! Lauren and Jess are glaring but it’s Brock’s hopeful look that makes you grin. “I do,” You say solemnly.

“Great!” Jess cheers. “It’s time for rings.” She hands you each a round piece of construction paper. “Put this on each other’s fingers!”

“Yours is purple and Brock’s is blue, because those are your favorite colors.” Lauren adds, matter-of-factly.

Brock is smiling as you slip the blue circle on his finger and then you giggle as he tries to find one of yours that the purple ring will fit on. He finally slips it on your thumb, and it stays, mostly, and the two of you look back at your sisters.

“What’s that thing…” Lauren trails off.

“What thing?”

“That thing!”

“Oh!” Jess cries. “Um. I now pron-prin-ce you man and wife! Kiss the bride!”

Brock gives you a skeptical look and you eye him right back, but he obliges and gives you a small kiss, both of you immediately wiping your lips afterwards. “What next?” He asks skeptically.

“We blow out the flowers!” Lauren says, excitedly. “And make a wish!”

It’s easy to distribute your bouquet between the four of you and then make your own wish. You can’t ever imagine a more perfect day than today, so you just wish for more of them.

-----

The day of your sixteenth birthday is the day that Brock is drafted by the Vancouver Canucks and instead of the Sweet Sixteen party that your friends have been dying for, you spend it sitting in front of a television, anxiously waiting for his name to be called.

When it finally is, you can’t stop grinning, and announce that cake can now be served. Your dad makes a joke that there are two things to celebrate now, but you had no doubts in your heart that there wouldn’t have been. Brock was going to be drafted; you’d always known it. It was just a matter of where he went. 

And well, blue had always been his favorite color. 

The Boeser’s don’t return until mid-week, at which point summer break has begun, which means you’re pulling yourself out of bed at midday right around when they’re pulling into their driveway.

Your dad opens the front door, without looking up from the paper he’s reading on his way back to his home office, and you know instantly what that means, running outside to go meet Brock, still in the short shorts and oversized tee (that originally had belonged to him) you’d slept in last night. 

Brock’s unloading the trunk of the car but he drops the bag he’s holding onto the driveway just in time, to catch you as you leap into his arms and spin you around. 

“I’m so happy for you.” You mutter into his chest, when he returns you safely to the ground. 

“I’m sorry I missed your birthday.” He says, into your hair.

“Best present ever.” You declare, ignoring that familiar fluttering feeling in your stomach that’s been popping up more and more often whenever he says incredibly sweet things like that.

“Yeah?” Brock laughs, squeezing you once. “Wait until you see what I brought you from Florida!”

“You brought me a present from Florida?” You gasp, teasing him. “You knew my birthday has been coming up and you waited until the day of to buy me a gift?”

He grins. “It’ll be worth it. Clear your schedule tonight, okay?”

You’d already agreed to go to a party with some of your friends, deep in the woods behind someone’s lake house, but you’re sure they’ll understand. “Okay.”

Brock returns the smile you send him with a grin. “Good.”

A few hours later, he’s leading you to your favorite ice cream shop and then laughing as he purposefully brushes some along your nose within minutes of sitting down. “Brock!” You laugh, twisting away.

“You missed a spot.” He teases. You pull a face at him, brushing at the side of your nose. “No.” He huffs. “Here.” He licks his thumb and then gently wipes the opposite side. 

Your breath catches in your throat. He’s so close, so close, so freaking close. “Thanks.”

Brock smiles back. “Anytime.” But this smile seems different than his usual smile, definitely softer and with this hint of something you can’t quite put your finger on, which starts to drive you crazy when that smile stays on his face for the rest of the night.

It’s late when Brock finally pulls your gift up onto the table, still sitting out on the patio of the ice cream shop and overlooking Main Street in your town on the extremely mild June evening that has plenty of people still walking around. “Big bag,” You joke, and then attempt to fall back on an old stand-by to try and ease the fluttering in your stomach that’s been in overdrive because of the smile on his face. “You sure there’s not a car in there?”

Brock gives you a look. “I got drafted, I didn’t sign shit yet.” You laugh. “But go on, open it!”

You grin at him and then reach into the bag, pulling out a flat object, immediately grinning at the driftwood “greetings from Florida” sign that will fit perfectly in with the aesthetic of your room. “Hey, sweet!”

“There’s more,” Brock encourages.

You reach in, fingers touching fabric, and hoping beyond hope for a kitschy Florida t-shirt, you’re shocked when you pull out a Canucks jersey. “Brock.” You breathe, looking up to see his expression, but he’s closer than you’d expected, and suddenly he’s so close…

You close your eyes, reach up for his cheek, and kiss him back. 

-----

It’s the first day of real spring in Vancouver and Brock convinces you that it’ll be a good idea to go and grab dinner and a drink at your favorite rooftop bar.

“It’s going to be crowded.” You whine at him. It’d been your least favorite thing about the city since moving in with him after you graduated college last spring. Everywhere was always packed the second the weather turned beautiful. 

“Come on,” Brock whines back, mocking you, easily pulling a grin to your face. “It’s so nice; it’ll be worth it.”

Brock’s never lied to you before and you have to admit that he’s right about tonight as well as soon as the two of you start walking over. The bar’s not even super crowded, surprisingly, and you two grab a table in the corner easily, starting to make light chatter as you browse the menu, like you’re not just going to get the same flatbread that you always end up getting.

Brock laughs as you place your order and then makes his own choice, before turning back to you. “So what’s new?”

You groan. “Lauren is driving me crazy.” There’s a sound from behind you and you turn to look, but Brock grabs both your hand and your attention back.

“How?” He asks, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

“These stupid wedding favors and this stupid bachelorette party!” Jesus, did he need you to go on? Your sister was a certified Bridezilla and everyone, including Lauren, admitted it!

“Well,” Brock says mildly. “I guess you never know what you’ll be like until you actually have to start planning a wedding.” Another noise behind you has you nosily turning to look until Brock follows his first statement with, “Are you ready to see what we’ll be like?”

You’re not even halfway turned to looking at the table behind you and you think you get whiplash turning back toward him. He did-what the-what did he say?

But sure enough, Brock is slipping out of his chair and onto one knee, holding open a small box to show off the most beautiful diamond ring you could imagine.

“You’re going to have to ask me better than that.”You somehow manage to get out.

He grins. “Will you let me replace the construction paper with a real one, YN?”

There’s definitely tears running down your face as you nod, you can’t even remember if you actually ever say the word “yes”, but there’s a ring on your finger and you’re kissing him through the tears and he’s running his thumb against your cheeks when he pulls back. 

Which is when you realize that everyone on the roof are your family and friends. Jess and Lauren sweep you into a hug, alternating comments about how “you’ll see” once you actually start planning and at the same time, squealing about their happiness. Quinn, Petey, and Jake, three of Brock’s teammates, start a ping-pong game with you, bouncing you back and forth between the three of them for a minute, sharing their excitement.

Over their shoulders, you see Brock is grinning at you as he’s wrapped up with your parents. And suddenly, you can’t stand not being next to him; it’s the hardest thing to wrap up with everyone congratulating you and push your way over to Brock.

“I love you.”

He grins back, somehow wider, even though the grin hasn’t left his face since he slid the ring on your finger. “I love you too.”

“No.” You try not to groan in frustration because how is he not getting this? He planned this whole thing for you. He is the world’s most amazing human, your rock, your idol. The person you’ve looked up to most for as long as you could remember. “I just- never mind.” You loop your arms around his waist, sure he won’t understand. “I really love you.”

“I’d hope so.” Brock teases. “Because I’m really serious this time. We might have just been fucking around with the paper, but this one’s for life.”

#brock boeser imagine #brock boeser fanfic #vancouver canucks fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #my hockey fics #hockey and tswift prompts

[ghostworldultra]

As silly and dumb as the New Vegas Randomizer Mod is, I have to say that it randomly creates a ton of great Fallout stuff just by its implication. Victor isn’t a robot but a talking bloatfly, Sunny Smiles has a trained Roboscorpion as a pet, I watched travelling merchants in Sierra Madre suits have trained 12-foot-tall feral ghouls carry their merchandise, like that stuff is all nonsense but it’s just awesome and inspiring. I fucking love it when Fallout stuff makes no sense and is just stupid kitschy postnuclear sci fi so I think all those weird things are just as fun and valid as the actual games apocalypse western thing.

Fucking Boone was wearing fetish gear and had a grenade machinegun. NCR soldiers had missile launchers and hockey masks. Some characters had bare skulls instead of normal heads. That’s awesome, we need more wacko shit like that in games. 

[jejciu]

98, 83, 69, 64, 49, 28 ❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️❤️ ❤️

thank u for asking ily!!!98. favorite historical era? i kinda wanna say like 80s because of fashion and music and shit and how everything was so fucking kitschy and bad but ~on purpose~, that was fun. also those shoulder pads babeyyyyy i wanna be a business woman looking all boxy and stuff83. writing or drawing? definitely definitely writing…… i know i say this often already but i CANNOT emphasize it enough, i write every day and i LOVE IT so much because like. u can write whateverrrrrr the fuck u want, even if its 3 pages long and u give up on it the very next day sometimes its just fun to like see that old word document thats just like, 2k words on midground au where theyre in the 1960s before i gave up on it as i remembered how bad racism and homophobia were back then and like, it was generally a stupid idea. but like. i love writing. those memes when people are like? ‘‘haha i identify as a writer but havent written a single paragraph in two years bc writing is a torture and i physically cant stand it’‘ CANT RELATE!!!! ABSOLUTELY CANT RELATE!!!!! i love it so much that even when i sleep over at someone else’s place but i feel the sudden need to write some scene/dialogue down i just will do it. i absolutely will. during boring ass lectures and stuff, too, and sometimes when im riding the bus for more than 10 minutes. and i love writing when its all sunny outside, and i get my laptop and sit on the balcony or in the backyard and write stuff that makes me happy, and i enjoy doing researches and preparing like, playlists for writing and other stuff that inspires me and like… all that shit.69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? uhhhh i cant come up with anything LMAO….. sorry64. favorite website from your childhood? everythinggirl.com LOL…………… back when internet was still a luxury we would play all these dumb barbie or myscene games with my friends so much, taking turns and stuff and OH I LOVED that pixelated little girl living in her house. it was so cute, irl it was like tamagotchi for girls, and she could travel from one house to other if u had more than one of those games or whatever the fuck that was………………. also, me and my best friend would look up all these weird, a bit fishy websites with drag and drop dress-up games……. we had this favourite one that i still remember to this day, with bright blue bg and it was like a super simple site, but there were hundreds of these dollmakers. and we would spend hours playing that stuff and later we would go and draw our own paper dolls lol49. what saying or quote do you live by? hmmm….. i cant come up with a specific quote tbh but when im feeling down, i usually say to myself ‘‘one step at a time’‘, because.. honestly, what else is life if not a bunch of single little steps. like, yeah, my world is crumbling apart bc i failed some classes at school or a boy broke up with me or whatever the fuck else couldve happened, but…. at least i cleaned up my room. or at least im getting better at art. or at least im taking meds or going to therapy. no one can really manage everything at once, theres always SOMETHING thats gonna go wrong. thats just how life is, we gotta take it slow28. five songs to describe you?- worst in the world by uncle outrage bc no matter how many years its been since ive listened to that shitty fucking song for the very first time. i will still scream internally. hell yeah i AM that human trashcan!!!!!!! dude!!!!!! i feel it so much- this is so dumb but i also DEEPLY relate to the most cliche movie song ever - you get what you give by new radicals. but fuck man……. thats my life philosophy. also this quote right here:

thats pure bottomcore.

-take me home by sophie ellis bextor - but the new version, the classical remake. MAN does that song feel good. idk how it describes me but it just feels good. i relate to its essence or whatever. it just feels so sweet. i need that sweetness in my life. i wanna be that sweetness in my own life

i honestly dont know what else is there. like, i could come up with like an entire playlist of “songs i wanna feel like” or “songs i get on a deeper level” or shit like that but.... that is a difficult question honestly. and also i feel like this reply is way too fucking long already so lik e dhgdfsfvsvhshdf thank u sm for asking kidd luv u have a good fucking evening baby

#so sorry fhfsgjdhfgshfshdg #maurycy talks #long post

[neoyi]

Can you tell us about your HLD headcanons please?

Sure. I should also add a small disclaimer that a lot of the headcanons are just story ideas based on an AU where Drifter and Guardian doesn’t die, instead living out their lives in a post-apocalyptic world and their growing romance and eventual family life they create for themselves whilst uncovering Drifter’s amnesic past. I want to also add that much of these ideas are contradictory to canon since I’m just messing around the world for funsies. …It would have been a romantic comedy. Sooooo on that note…*Drifter can be incredibly hyperfixated with their interests. This largely extends to ancient ruins and past history left behind by civilizations of yesteryear, especially from blue-skinned folks like they are. It’s not just a fascination of What People Did back in the days, but an honest attempt to find any clues of their memories. *Drifter likes games, strategic games specifically. They like solving puzzles and unraveling complex mathematics. They play alien tabletop RPGs; they dig epic, long novels and can memorize obscure facts and useless trivia. They’re the kind that’d have a blog and write long-winded essays on Why This Character Had Amazing Character Development. *Drifter has something of a reputation. Having traveled around the world for years has caused the dude to get into their fair share of scuffles. Drifter’s stance is largely Neutral and the most they do is stay in a place, then move on to find more ruins and historic sights. But every so often, there might be That One Criminal who damns an entire town or some Megalomaniac who uses ancient tech to try and blow up the world and Drifter just happens to be there. With their sword and gun. Wasting the shit out of That One Criminal or that Megalomaniac. And perhaps in time, Drifter became a bit of a legend, the “Red-Cloaked Hero”, the “Savior”, “The Crimson Drifter” or whatever inane nicknames the people named ‘em. Drifter has become a symbol of hope and in these struggling times, some people gravitate towards that. For all Drifter claims neutrality, they don’t sit back when people need help, but it comes with baggage and people tend to recognize them - both the decent folks and the jack-offs who seek to kill ‘em for their own means. All Drifter wants is to be left alone, man. *One of the things I’ll never find the time to do is create small, one-off comics of Drifter getting into all sorts of adventure. Most of these would be wordless and the situations could range from anything to Drifter helping archeologists unlock lost history and fighting a giant robot inside or something like saving a princess in a far-off kingdom from a monster or stuck pulling a heist with some well-meaning thieves. Whatever comes to mind.

*Drifter has helped other drifters and archeologists with their research because for some very odd reason, they can unlock specific tech and locales that even other blue-skinned folks can’t…*Guardian is the son of a farmer and a drifter. His mother settled down from drifting life to tend to the farm with her husband (who is far from a warrior as you can get.) He has an older brother who currently travels the world, getting by through trade stories and inventing weird things. Guardian left the farm shortly after his father died (a stack of alcoholic beverages landed on top of him one day) to travel the world to pursue his dreams of studying history of ancient civilization. He settled in Central at some point and has stayed there since. He keeps in touch with his family.

*Guardian’s real name is “Tim.” I got that name from a joke from an HLD thread I read a while ago. He also has a last name, but it cannot be written here for it is very, very, very long, and contains letters that aren’t even in the current alphabet. *Guardian is into kitschy decor. He unironically loves curtains with corn cob patterns or their world equ. of garden gnomes in his garden. I have a jokethat Guardian must be written to be the most blandest guy you could ever meet. He talks endlessly about the potatoes he’s grown in his backyard, goes to bed at a reasonable hour, and can listen to his neighbor talk about the structure and kind of bricks he used to build his house. Guardian is unassuming, but kind.

*Incidentally, this is why Drifter eventually fell for Guardian and chose to stay in Central: he gives Drifter a solitary, quiet life that they want. Drifter’s gotten into enough shenanigans - whether they wanted it or not - and damn it, they’re just tired. Adventure will always come to them because their need to explore old ruins and tech and those tend to invite trouble, but at least they can do it together! Once they’re finished, Drifter also has a home to go back to that gives them the respite they need.

*Drifter totally had a one-night stand with the Dashmaster. This is not scandalous news in Central because a frighteningly number of people have had one-night stands with Dashmaster. Because he’s Dashmaster.

*Guardian has two jobs in Central: he, along with other volunteers, guards and patrols outside of Central for monsters or any signs of danger. He’s also a teacher at the town’s only school. Subjects vary, but it’s mostly history on his end.

*The Swordmaster is Guardian’s best friend. The two (and a couple of other buddies) hang out at the local bar every week.

*Drifter was the one to propose to Guardian. That was the unexpected part because at that point, they’ve already been discussing marriage. They both just assumed Guardian would propose. *Drifter only ever won once against Soccer Kid. Once.

*Drifter only wakes up early whenever they’re not in town because it’s practical (gotta cover as much ground as possible when you’re on the move.) Whenever they’re in inns and other shelters though, they sleep in. (Guardian always wakes up at the crack of dawn. He is often subjected to pillows being thrown by Drifter whenever he gets too happy in the morning.)

*I haven’t decided where Drifter got their current clothing. I think Drifter got their helmet off of a dead soldier, the cape probably off of another drifter’s corpse, and maybe Drifter - in one of their rare moments - splurged a little on their boots. They’re good quality boots and you need ones that last!*Drifter used to own an old motorcycle they used to travel around for a bit. It got too damaged and had to be abandoned eventually.

*Drifter’s favorite food is red meat. Guardian likes potatoes. *Restless and/or impatient Drifter involves them chewing on things, tapping their fingers, or shaking their legs.

*Guardian’s method of organizing is mostly pushing books and materials off to the side as much as possible. Once Drifter gets the hang of daily chores, they tend to go far enough that things must be alphabetized, we are not animals Guardian. *Drifter is practical enough to be able to fix their clothes whenever it’s damaged, but Guardian is the superior seamstress. He’s also better in the kitchen. Course, a lot of this stems from the latter having lived in civilization most of his life while Drifter mostly learned what they needed to survive. The latter tends to take advantage of what towns offer (ex: they eat conservatively when out in the middle of nature, but stuff their face in taverns because they have the opportunity to do so.)

*The stray dog that wanders near the eastern sector of Central ended up following Drifter when the latter, feeling a tinge of pity, gave the pup some food. The dog has never left Drifter since. This bothered Drifter at first since they had no use for a pet, even going as far as naming the dog “Babo” (”stupid” in Korean), but damn if the dog did not grow on ‘em. (Incidentally I actually drew out most of the pages of this comic, but I never inked or posted them up online.)

*Life before Drifter was well, a drifter, was spent during the last remnants of the blue-skinned (yeah, I never thought of an actual name for these guys) civilization: in the midst of the great war that screwed them over. They were the [NAME REDACTED], child of the Librarian (herself a big contributor to the giant Titans) and a cut character from the game: Rivan. The latter was the last King of their civilization and, well, he was nicknamed Mad King Rivan for a reason. Knowing he was off his gourd in his mad pursuit for power, the Librarian stepped off the Titan project and got the hell out with intent on living a peaceful life alone with her than unborn child. Drifter spent most of their childhood with their mother with no acknowledgement on who their father was. The Librarian spent her time creating the pendant (and Drifter’s companion bot), containing memories of their time, and as much information on their culture as possible, slowly realizing over time that the end was nigh. The Librarian sent Drifter to safety during the last days of their civilization. Drifter was placed in a pod, frozen in time until they eventually woke up with no recollection of who they are. Drifter has no idea the pendant and their companion bot has pretty much all the info they could need (it also requires solving a complex algorithm to unlock the info, too.)

*That said, Rivan is still alive and he not only intends to bring his kingdom back (a big reach in and of itself at this point), he knows he has a child…

I think that’s all I can think or muster. Hope this is good enough.

#hyper light drifter #anonymous #neoyi talks

[winterromanov]

high voltage in her lips [bechloe fic, part 2/?]

read part one here | on ao3

Beca wakes up to two bright blue eyes staring right at her from the side of the bed.

“Dude!” she exclaims, pulling her duvet tight around her, “What the fuck?”

Chloe smiles like it’s a totally normal thing for her to be doing. To. You know. Just be watching her sleep. “Good morning, sunshine.”

Beca rubs her eyes and her hands are streaked with black from last night’s mascara. She can feel the hangover thrumming at the back of her brain, her mouth dry and tasting faintly of wine she doesn’t remember drinking. “How long have you been perving on me?”

“Not long,” Chloe chirps. It’s then that she realises that Chloe is completely put together, like they weren’t screaming on a dancefloor just a few hours previously, hyped up on Sambuca shots. Her hair is newly washed and blow-dried and her face is bare, yet somehow still flawless, freckles dusted across her cheekbones. She’s wearing a neat top-and-skirt combo. Beca’s still wearing her clothes from last night. “Your ass was drunker than mine so I put you up in the spare room.”

Beca properly looks around the room, finally realising she’s not in her own flat—it’s way too clean and ordered, with a floral colour scheme that’s been carefully designed rather than thrown on the walls last minute. The duvet smells like honeysuckle. God, it couldn’t be more Chloe Beale.

“Thanks. Sorry to, uh, put you out?”

“Not a problem,” Chloe grins. She stands from her position crouching by Beca’s bedside, rubbing her hands together. “I’ve left you a coffee and some aspirin. I’ve got a meeting in the city so I’ve got to head out, but feel free to use the shower and stuff before you go. The door locks on its own so don’t worry about leaving it open or anything.”

Damn, this bitch is organised. Beca stretches out and tries to put together memories from last night—it’s all pretty vague, glimpses of fire-red hair and intense music, Amy running over before they leave and telling her that some dude called Juan was taking her to the Bahamas for a bit so not to wait up for her—

Okay, so she’s going to have to handle that at some point, but that point doesn’t have to be now, right?

“I had a great night last night, by the way,” Chloe says, smiling, “You’re great fun. I haven’t let loose like that in a while.”

It would help if Beca could actually remember clearly what exactly happened last night, but the sentiment warms her anyway. She smiles back, genuinely, vaguely recalling how her heart thudded like it was about to break out her ribcage. “I had a great time too. As far as I’m aware I didn’t leave with a minor assault charge, so. A win?”

Chloe giggles. She does that a lot. Giggling. Beca’s never giggled. It doesn’t match her image. “Definitely a win. I’d like to do it again sometime.”

“Well, we’re going to be spending the next three months on tour together,” Beca says, still not quite believing it. “I’m sure I’ll be able to haul you off the rails at least once in that time period. If your manager doesn’t kill me first.”

“Aubrey doesn’t control everything about my life, as much as she’d like to. I make my own decisions.”

“Awesome,” Beca replies. Her eyes linger on the coffee Chloe’s thoughtfully left out for her and it stings, a little, because it reminds her of stupid Jesse and the stupidly Nice Things he used to do for her. And maybe Chloe is another Nice Person she doesn’t deserve in her life. It’s why she hasn’t fired Amy yet. She’s just as fucked up as Beca is.

“I’m going to head off,” Chloe says, making her way towards the bedroom door, “So I’ll see you later?”

“Sure.”

She flashes Beca one last smile before disappearing, and Beca’s touched that the girl seems to trust her enough to leave her alone in her apartment after meeting her once. It’s a naïve choice, perhaps, but sweet all the same. She reaches out and takes a swig of the rapidly cooling coffee and pops two of the aspirin then just sits, wrapped up in the duvet, everything silent other than the hum of the air conditioning.

Yeah, she’s still not sure how this whole tour thing will work, but she kind of wants it to work? And maybe that’s the point.

-x-

THE PRINCESS AND THE REBEL – CHLOE BEALE AND BECA MITCHELL SPOTTED IN DOWNTOWN LA

Los Angeles seems to be the hotbed of the billboard’s newest collaborations, a factory of number one hits and Grammy awards—but a sighting of two of music’s seemingly polar opposites has us here at Glitz dot com totally stumped. That’s right. Notorious bad girl Beca Mitchell (of Where Do You Go? fame) and pop’s hottest starlet Chloe Beale were papped together outside the Luna club last night, looking very comfortable in each other’s company indeed.

It’s true that there’s been a small fanbase on social media hoping that the pair would eventually collaborate, but it hardly felt like a realistic goal. After all, Mitchell’s just dodged another felony whilst Beale is climbing to the top of her game. Their interests don’t seem to overlap, but there’s definitely a friendship we’ve never heard about there.

Whether this club night is just two friends meeting up or the beginning of a potential collaboration, it has got us pretty excited. Mitchell’s sultry, no-nonsense sound mixing with Beale’s simultaneously romantic and empowering girl-power anthems will be a guaranteed eargasm which we’re TOTALLY here for. But—it begs the question whether these two artists will actually be good for each other. It’s no secret that Mitchell’s been a bit off the rails recently while Beale is pristine, role-model material; will Beca drag Chloe down or will Chloe bring Beca back up again? Only time will tell.

Keep up to date with everything Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale by following us on twitter: @glitzmag

ARTICLE BY DAISY FULLERTON

-x-

“Hey bitch! You’ve reached Fat Amy, only you haven’t reach Fat Amy, because I’m totally boning a really hot Spanish dude in the Bahamas right now while drinking a shit ton of Tequila Sunrises. Sooooo… Leave a message if you want, but I probably won’t get back to you for several days if it all. Adios!”

“For fuck’s sake, Amy, you are literally the worst manager ever and I’m firing you as soon as your ass is back in LA. Ok. So. There’s been some—articles, which I’m sure you’ve seen, because despite never answering my calls you’ve uploaded about sixty videos to your snapchat story of you on a speedboat, you monster. Anyway. I’m sick of the media painting me as some fucking criminal out-to-corrupt-your-children type when I’m really not, and yes I do have a tattoo I got when I was off my face on pot but that was years ago and really, that’s literally the only regrettable thing I’ve done that wasn’t a product of you. Please just tell someone, anyone, that I’m actually pretty rad and I’m probably not going to drag Chloe Beale’s impeccable reputation through the trash. As my manager that would literally be the bare minimum you could do for me right now. You’re an asshole. Ciao.”

-x-

queenbeale just uploaded a photo to Instagram

got to hang out with the amazing @becamitchell on Saturday!! can’t wait to tell you guys what we’ve got in store for y’all xx

chloebealer commented: oh my god???? OH MY GOD???

jaydababe34 commented: MY TWO FAVES ARE UNITED I’M SCREAMING

chloefan789 commented: not sure how this will work… I’m not a beca mitchell fan at all

becamitchell commented: I look so drunk in this photo and I hate you for uploading it :)

queenbeale commented: @becamitchell you look like a dream

madisonbealer commented: @queenbeale @becamitchell *whispers* GAYYYYYYY

-x-

It takes another two weeks of meetings and contracts and publicity before the tour dates are released to the public. They’re visiting thirty-two cities across North America in the space of two and a half months: it’s wild on a scale Beca’s never seen before. Yeah, she’s had three tours across the same area in the past, but the venues were smaller and not so extensive, and not all of the dates were sold out. The tickets for this tour sell out in a grand total of eleven minutes.

The tour also generates a tidal wave of interest across every single internet platform available. Her old songs are repeated alongside Chloe’s on the radio, her follower count on Instagram sky-rockets and their names are trending on Twitter. The last time Beca saw her name in that bar was when she was arrested for the coke incident (fuck you, Amy). And the support, surprisingly, is unreal. Like the unsavoury articles that emerged after she was papped outside Luna with Chloe earlier in the month, she’d expected people talking shit about her past, wondering if Beca’s razor sharp edges would rip Chloe to shreds—but there’s been an overwhelming amount of positivity, like the curiosity of what they could produce together overshadows what could potentially go wrong.

Her return to mainstream media ends up alerting people she thought she’d left in the past of her presence again, but she’s still surprised when Jesse ends up leaving her a voicemail on the Thursday after the announcement. It’s been five months of total radio silence between them. She’d kind of anticipated that it would be longer than that. After all, she did end a seven-year relationship on his fucking birthday, which she’d completely forgotten about.

Maybe she does owe him one.

Beca meets him for lunch in a small restaurant a twenty minute walk from her apartment—a neat, little kitschy place she doesn’t often visit, but they serve ciabatta and paninis and squashy cooked tomatoes still on the vine, and that’s the kind of thing Jesse loves. She gets there fifteen minutes early but of course he’s already there, sat on the long bench by the window and overlooking the street. She pretends she hasn’t seen him from the outside, even though he’d clocked her half a block away.

He still looks the same. Clean-shaven, dark hair cropped, clean t shirt and pants and sneakers like they’d never been worn before. He leaps off his stool nervously when the door shuts behind her.

Oh. Wow. She’s never known Jesse to be nervous before. He’s usually annoyingly confident. All through high school she’d hidden behind his infectious smile. At least the last two months have allowed her to just be her, even if that means she’s been stuck in a fucking prison cell once or twice. Or thrice.

“Becs,” he says breathlessly, taking her in. She half-smiles tightly. “Hey. How are you?”

“Oh, you know,” Beca shrugs, pulling her bag strap tighter around her shoulder. She’s nervous too. “Not in prison, depressed or dying, so not all bad. You?”

Jesse relaxes and his mouth softens. She’s still the same old Beca. “Same. It’s…uh, it’s been a while.”

“It has.”

“I kept meaning to… well, call, I guess, but I didn’t know if you wanted me to. In the end I just bit the bullet.”

“It’s cool. We both needed space.” Beca drops her bag on the floor and jumps onto a barstool and he copies, their seats inches apart yet somehow miles away. It’s weird, considering how close they used to be. Used to be. “For the record… I kept meaning to call too. But I didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me.”

Jesse smiles, biting his lip, before looking back up at her. “I always want to hear from you. I think that was probably the issue.”

He’s not wrong, he’s really not, because Beca’s terrible at keeping up with messages and most of the time just didn’t bother replying, leaving his I love you’s on read and not giving it a second thought. She didn’t think that would hurt him for some reason, even though she’s well aware that Jesse’s actually a good, thoughtful person who cares about her and wouldn’t mind some of that care back. It was alright when they were in high school and when they regularly shared an apartment because she’d always be there in person to offer that reassurance. That wasn’t so easy when she was away on tour.

And it broke him. But it broke her a long time before that. Believe it or not, she’s not totally emotionally void.

Jesse grabs them both coffees and ham paninis and they sit in silence for a bit, looking out across the city; the one she’d forgotten they shared. He takes a deep breath before talking. “I saw you were going on tour. With Chloe Beale. That’s amazing, Beca.”

“Yeah. It’s pretty cool. The management is manic, but. I’m glad to be out there again.”

Jesse takes a sip of coffee. “Does that mean there’s going to be some new music out soon?”

Beca withholds an eye roll, because that’s been the question on everybody’s lips—Chloe’s on a high from a newly released number one album and she’s still utterly clueless, wondering if she can get away with singing mostly her old stuff on the tour. It begins in less than six months. That’s not enough time to write, produce and release at least ten songs worth of new material, especially seeing as the deterioration of her last relationship and moving out and all that stress hasn’t been particularly good for her creativity. “Probably not. Song-writing is apparently not my forte anymore.”

“Well, you never know. You might find some inspiration soon. I know you, Becs. You just pull amazing tracks out of thin air like it’s nothing.”

She raises an eyebrow sceptically. “As much as I appreciate you massaging my ego, that doesn’t really help me right now.”

“I’m not worried,” Jesse says calmly, “I once watched you write a whole album while high, remember?”

“Your Love Fucking Sucks Balls, Dude?” Beca says, and Jesse laughs, clinging onto the bar for support. “Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s going to be breaking the billboard top one hundred. Yet… stellar tracks like I Really Like Your Dick and Smash Me Good might be my only hope. Like, if I go another year without making music my label might drop me, even with the tour, so…” Beca doesn’t want this to turn into a pity party so she turns, resting her chin in her palm, back to Jesse. “What have you been up to? Anything exciting? Scored any Oscar-noms?”

Jesse laughs with an eyeroll, looking down into his coffee cup. “I wish. No, still doing ad work, but you never know. As soon as Pixar put an ad up for a composer on Craigslist, I’m there.” He pauses. Drums his fingers on the tabletop. Beca knows what’s coming. “Look, Becs—“

“No, Jesse.”

“No, no,” Jesse shakes his head, “No, this isn’t… I don’t want to get back together.”

Well, that’s a relief. She can feel her stomach shift back to its normal location. “Oh. Okay. Good.”

“This is more about… It is about me and you, but five months without you in my life has been hell, Beca. We were together for seven years. That doesn’t just fall away into nothing, even if the romance isn’t there anymore.” He coughs, clearly nervous. “I still love you. Of course I do. And I want you to be happy, like, more than anything in the world. And I know you’re not going to be happy with me, and that’s fine. But I’d still like to be part of your life.”

Oh. His sincerity stuns her, for a second, because maybe this is the kind of reaction she should’ve expected all along.

“We don’t have to talk every day. We don’t even have to talk regularly. I’d just like to be, you know—someone who is there for you. Your friend Jesse who just so happens to be your ex. We can grab dinner when our schedules don’t clash and watch movies and maybe text every so often. Or we don’t. Whatever. Just… I don’t want to lose you, Becs.”

She smiles, suddenly nostalgic for a time when everything was easy: when Jesse would pick her up from work in his beat-up Civic and he’d leave stupid romantic notes in her locker (which she definitely didn’t keep in a scrapbook under her bed, by the way) and they’d drink lukewarm cider and make out under the stars on the football field. It was all achingly simple back then.

But then she thinks of her life now, and how slowly and surely it’s coming back together, and how most of the time she doesn’t miss Jesse’s beat-up civic and his stupid romantic notes and the lukewarm cider, although she does kind of miss the making out and she does kind of miss him. He’s proposing a zero-commitment friendship, a no string attached deal, someone she can turn to and will always be there.

Like the tour, she’s not really in a position to turn it down.

“Sure,” she smiles, “But no movies. I’ve not got girlfriend status anymore, so you can’t force me to watch fucking Star Trek—“

“Star Wars, Beca, I’ve got no interest in Star Trek whatsoever.”

“Okay, weirdo, Star Wars. Whatever. But the point still stands. I’m under no obligation to sit through your ridiculous commentaries.”

“That’s cool,” Jesse nods, “I’m not saying it’s going to happen, but that’s cool. And anyway. I don’t actually want you to be my friend. I just want you to fill me in on every single detail about what Chloe Beale is actually like. Does she really own a poodle that’s naturally fluorescent pink?”

-x-

BECA MITCHELL SPOTTED WITH OLD FLAME AND EX LONG TERM BOYFRIEND JESSE SWANSON – IS ROMANCE BACK ON THE CARDS?

-x-

“Beca, I really don’t want to intrude, but I’ve seen those pics on twitter of you and your ex-boyfriend,” Chloe rubs her hands excitedly, “And are you, like, back together? Because that guy is a total cutie.”

Beca’s not actually seen Chloe beyond a professional capacity for over two weeks as their schedules are so hectic, but the girl texts like she’s running out of time and for some reason, she actually replies to her strings of emojis and exclamation marks? In addition, her lengthy paragraphs of information are usually incredibly intrusive, so it comes clear to Beca that Chloe doesn’t really have any boundaries or filter when it comes to asking the potentially difficult questions.

“Oh, no,” Beca answers straight up, her reflection staring back at her. She hisses in pain as the hairdresser burns her scalp with the curling iron, who then hastily apologises. “No, no, no. That’s definitely not a thing that’s happening.”

Beca’s sure that Chloe looks pleased, which sets off some weird emotions, but she somehow manages to fight the blush taking over her cheeks. “What happened there, if you don’t mind me asking? Your Wikipedia said you’d been together for, like, seven years. Which is a pretty long time.”

The shameless way Chloe admits she’s definitely stalked her ass online is actually kind of funny but Beca doesn’t laugh, because maybe then she’d be forced to admit that she’s done the same thing. The hairdresser—who is called Katie, or Kathy, or something, Beca’s not that good with names—wraps another one of her locks tight, like she’s going to pull it clean off her scalp. “It’s—really not exciting. We’d been together since high school. He went to UCLA while I tried to break onto the music scene and when I did we kind of just… drifted apart.”

(She was also an utter ass about it, but this is not something she’s going to admit while sober.)

“Oh. That’s sad.” Chloe smiles sympathetically. Her stylist has straightened her naturally wavy hair so it hangs in a scarlet red sheet, framing her cheekbones and eyes. She’s not even airbrushed or photoshopped within an inch of her life yet, goddamn, and she already looks fucking flawless. Totally unfair. “Drifting apart just comes with the territory, I guess. My last ex dumped because I didn’t have enough time for him. Which is fair. It’s not easy.”

Beca’s not sure if she feels totally comfortable going into it with an audience of stylists, especially with one who seems to hate her hair as much as Karen does. Chloe seems completely at ease, but she gives off this edge of being totally confident with herself—something Beca’s not blessed with, as much as she likes to pretend she doesn’t care.

“He also kept trying to persuade me to do a sex tape on several occasions,” Chloe unnecessarily elaborates, “And I kept telling him no, mostly because I was scared that if we did break up he’d try and sell it to TMZ or something. For the record, I’m not against sex tapes. I think they can be very fun and intimate representations of cinematography. But I’d only make one with someone I could trust inside-out and back-to-front, so to speak.”

Oh. Wow. Beca grits her teeth, but there’s a smile there. “That’s… good to know, dude.”

“I know! And I’ll have you know my sex life is far from vanilla. I have a very long list of kinks and some of them are pretty unconventional. Like, this one time, Mark made me try this thing with ginger—“

“And that’s enough!” Beca laughs awkwardly, mainly because the stylists are having a fucking field day and Beca doesn’t want it on record that she and Chloe were discussing figging while getting ready for a shoot.

“Oh,” Chloe says, looking briefly behind her before grimacing at Beca. She mouths I forgot we weren’t alone.

A few minutes later the lady who is coordinating the shoot calls them through to an office with a wall covered in white tarpaulin, the lights all the brighter for it. It’s a pretty low-key thing for Teen Vogue, but it’s the first shoot they’ve done together since the tour announcement, so Beca’s kind of bricking it. Chloe takes everything in her stride. She struts over to the tarpaulin and Beca quickly follows.

She thinks that the costume department might have gone a bit overkill on the rebel and the princess thing that’s been coined for them, because Beca’s dressed in a black mini-dress, leather jacket and doc martens, whilst Chloe is wearing a glittery pink off the shoulder number with white leggings, her feet in ballet pumps. Beca’s eyes are smudged with charcoal black whilst Chloe’s are pearlescent, and she looks every inch the twenty-first century pop princess. Beca’s not sure what she looks like.

The photographer is a young guy, maybe a bit older than she is, wearing a fake waistcoat attached to a t shirt and skinny jeans. He ushers them together, keeps saying to act natural, which in mainstream media terms means attempt to look sexy and maybe pout a bit.

The pictures actually turn out pretty good. Beca gets more element as the shoot drags on, sticking her tongue out for the camera and laughing and trying not to cringe as she tries the sexy hair-flick, smouldering the camera over her shoulder.

It’s the pictures of them together that turn out the best, though. There’s this beautiful shot of the pair of them caught off guard, Chloe’s hand slung over Beca’s shoulder as she laughs, hand over her chest. She looks fucking ecstastic, just to be there, they both do; like they’re ecstatic to be together. It’s almost typical that that one doesn’t make the cover (they go with one of them both straightfaced, stood side by side, like they’ve never met in their lives). The picture doesn’t even make the article. But later on someone from the magazine sends her the unedited rough-cuts, and she saves that one photo to her hard drive.

(Eight months, two weeks and three days later that photo is her desktop background.)

Two hours later and the magazine has all the photos they need so they’re allowed to leave and Beca can keep the leather jacket.

(“I like it on you,” Chloe says, smoothing the leather out with her fingers, “You look super edgy.” Aka, it’s a real turn-on.)

On their way out from the building, Chloe pauses in the middle of the street like she’s suddenly had the best fucking idea. “Hey—my apartment is about a five minute cab ride from here. Do you want to head over there if you haven’t got plans? There’s something I’m desperate to try.”

Beca’s way too intrigued to possibly say no to that.

#pitch perfect #pitch perfect fic #fanfic #fanfiction #bechloe #bechloe fic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #beca x chloe

[scumfuckus]

tagged by @smithsgf !!! thank u 💕

rule: tag 10 ppl you want to get to know better

name: ellie

gender: 😂👌💯

star sign: cancer 🦀 the cosmic 69 ♋ heheheheh

height: like 5'3" maybe. im short

sexuality: girls r cool

what image do you have as wallpaper: the default cos im a lazy fuk

where do you see yourself in 10 years: whoa nelly i cant think that far ahead. in the next 5years i might be doing a masters or something, who knows. all ik id that i would like to be happy and having a good time 😊🌸

if you could be anywhere else right now, where?: im pretty content right here in bed if im bein honest with u. but in the grand scheme of things id really like to see like...all the mojave. death valley, grand canyon, all that kitschy area 51 themed tourist stuff. and id just love to see the landscape i honestly feel at home when i look at photos of the desert. unfortunately im a nightmare at any temperature above like 25 celsius so uh

what was your coolest halloween costume?: i've never done anything for halloween with costumes ): my parents never took me trick or treating when i was little bc they didnt realise it was like a *thing*

what's your favourite 90s show?: ive just started watching Friends for the first time on netflix, and thats all that comes to mind rn so. that. p.s. i fucking hate ross i cant wait for him to die of influenza

who was your last kiss?: ex gf

have you ever been stood up?: no

have you ever been to las vegas?: no but i would LOVE to

favourite pair of shoes: these real chunky black workman's boots. they're like timbs but less fashion. n they got steel toe caps and theyre just very reinforced which is awesome bc i usually go through shoes within months

favourite fruit: cant beat an apple, fucking classic. love me some watermelon too tho its a great hangover cure

favourite book: the long walk by stephen king, written under the pseudonym richard bachman. its one of his short stories so it literally never gets arduous. its a really interesting concept too - dystopian hunger games/battle royale type thing but less killy more...walky. and way before either of those. idk its just a very good story and youll get emotional about it if u read it

stupidest thing you've ever done: oh god...so many things. barely any come to mind rn though. i guess one i dont think ive mentioned before is the time i tried to smoke a cigar like a regular cigarette for no other reason than to test my capabilities and after a couple of minutes i fully felt like i was going to die. u have no idea. dont do that to urself. idk most stupid shit i do that isnt like ~*entirely*~ impulsive is because ive decided i want to "test my capabilities"

mannn idk who's already done this so maybe

@snakeriverconspiracy @dronemetal @syntheticperson @yeahbykyuss @cannibal-cookbook @freshavcadoo @nyarlathotwink @opiate-priest n anyone else who wants to do it bc my mind has gone like entirely blank and i am genuinely interested in ppls answers to some of these

[thelankyrandman-blog]

Annotated Album-A-Day List:

Annotated Album-A-Day List:

Alphabetical Order: January - June 2017

So this is every album I listened to from January to the end of June. Every one has a quick opinion of mine. Let me know what you think of my thoughts if you know the albums or decide to check them out!! Happy listening!!

A:

Actress - AZD: A solid electronic album that messes with sound in some very interesting ways. Worth a listen but it hasn’t been pulling me back as much as I would have hoped.

America - America: Really enjoyable classic folk rock that most definitely was influential. They do a great job layering their tracks with percussion and a fleet of guitars. Donkey Jaw is probably my favorite track due to how hard it rocks out (for folk) at a few points. If you like folk, you’ll enjoy this album quite a bit.

Anderson .Paak - Malibu: Sweet Kraken!! This album is fantastic! It’s groovy, smooth, sexy and has some nice hip hop flavor to it. It gets a little long with some more fatty songs, but I can’t stop going back to it.

Angel Olsen - Half Way Home: Honestly, this isn’t my cup of tea. It’s just a bit too twangy for my taste. If you like country a lot, check it out.

Animal Collective - Marriweather Post Pavilion: This album is a wall of sound. There are no empty spaces in any song. If there was empty space at any point they popped in another synth layer, or another vocal track to fill the gap. This is what makes this album unique. It sounds like nothing else from that time where rock bands were going for more stripped down sounds with kitschy melodies played on xylophones while their acoustics shit out the same chords over and over. This showed that Animal Collective wasn't like the rest of the “indie” rock bands of the day.

The Avalanches - Since I Left You: What an incredible album! This is what electronic albums should use as a baseline and it’s influence has been seen since it released in 2000. This is a sample album, so every sound used on it is taken from something else. While that sounds like it may be a bit derivative or outright copying, it isn’t. They are able to create utterly new and unique sounds and songs that will no doubt blow you away. Also, this album has a near impeccable flow from track to track. A must listen.

B:

BADBADNOTGOOD - BBNG: This is a great jazz album with some hip hop influence. It’s even better if you’re into video games because of their covers of songs off of the Zelda soundtrack. Even if you are not familiar with those though, this album is worth your time. And I’m sick of Giant Steps too.

Beach House - Depression Cherry: If you like dream pop, this is the album for you. It’s spacey, catchy and clean. If you’re looking for variety though, go somewhere else. This is very much an album from a band who has found their sound and is sticking with it.

Blank Banshee - Mega: This is a weird album. It’s some good electronic music, but the songs started to blend together in my mind, and when it was over, I was surprised I had listened to an entire album.

Big L - Lifestylez ov da Poor & Dangerous: You can’t go wrong with Big L! His rhymes were incredible and his lyrics were nasty. It’s not often that you find more accessible horror core.

Big L - The Big Picture: Another solid album, but it has a little weirdness to it considering that it is a posthumous album. Big L will spit a verse then Jay Z will come on and finish up with a respectful rest in peace to the man of the hour. It feels incredibly odd, but weirdly special.

Bob Dylan - Empire Burlesque: Ooffa dooffa! This is a bad album. There is such a palpable lack of effort on this album that kills me when I listen to it. Dylan was just going track by track hitting the highs and lows that he knew would sell. It just feels like a lazy album that doesn’t even remotely stand out as a good one in his career. If you love Bob Dylan I’d say check it out to have more of an appreciation for his good stuff, but otherwise maybe skip this one.

Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded: Fucking classic masterpiece. Required listening. ’Nuff said.

C:

Capital STEEZ - AmeriKKKan Korruption: Man, this is such a solid record, it sucks so bad that STEEZ took his own life. His topics and flows feel good and his beats are that nice and comfortable Pro • Era style.

Carly Rae Jepsen - E•MO•TION: This album has no right to be as awesome as it is. I was expecting some pop drivel that I’ve heard since birth just regurgitated for the billionth time because producers know that it will make money, but Jepsen actually knocks it out of the park with an original pop album. My only gripe is the lack of lyrical variety, but it doesn’t drag the album down too much.

Chance the Rapper - 10 Day: Man, it’s crazy to think that a 17 year old Chance was able to put this together. It’s tight, it’s mean and god damn is it solid. With the ethos surrounding it I wasn’t expecting such a great mixtape, but man, does he deliver with it.

Chance the Rapper - Acid Rap: This is the best Chance mixtape in my opinion. With the exception of the extended period of silence in the first half, the album has a great pace peaking with Cocoa Butter Kisses. Chance finds his style here and never has it been as strong!

Chance the Rapper - Coloring Book: Coloring Book is great, don’t get me wrong, especially with songs like No Problem but this album drags. It hits about the halfway point and runs head first into a brick wall with some of the most skippable tracks that Chance has ever made.

Charles Mingus - Mingus Ah Um: I mean… It’s Mingus, obviously it’s amazing.

Childish Gambino - Because the Internet: I wanted to like this album so badly. I love Donald Glover in almost every other avenue, but as a rapper his style isn’t distinct enough, his lyrics can be half baked, and his sense of pacing is sorely lacking. This is another album that’s first half is stacked well, so when the second half comes in all you want to do is take a nap.

Childish Gambino - Awaken, My Love: Now this, this is where I think Glover should be going. This album is better than Because the Internet in every way. From song writing to the production, not to mention the more obvious fit of the new genre he decided to tackle. With the exception of California, every song is pretty solid.

Clarence Clarity - No Now: I literally can’t get enough of this album. It’s so weird and perfect. Clarence Clarity creates pop songs with somewhat familiar sounds and distorts them beyond a sane level. They sound like they were made in space and that’s what makes the album so compelling. Each time I listen I hear a new song in the track listing. Also, Cancer in the Water is such an incredibly powerful track!

Crosby, Stills & Nash - Crosby, Stills & Nash: Coming out in 1969 Crosby, Stills & Nash began their journey to become on of the best folk bands of all time. They basically created modern folk as we know it, so if you enjoy Fleet Foxes or Mumford and Sons then do yourself a favor and check out their stuff. It has an older style but it still has acoustic guitars and beautiful vocals.

Crywank - Tomorrow is Nearly Yesterday and Everyday is Stupid: I found this album incredibly randomly and wasn’t shocked or disappointed with it. It’s fine. It has some catchy tunes and deals with some heavier emotions like existential dread and depression, but unfortunately sometimes it just comes off as a little whiny.

D:

(Quick Danny Brown Note: I’m a huge Danny Brown fan, but he isn’t for everyone because of his unique sound, don’t be discouraged if you don’t like him)

Danny Brown - The Hybrid: If there has ever been an album that has shown potential, it’s The Hybrid. Danny Comes through with a great tape with his signature two styles of songs, the more party based ones, and the serious ones.

Danny Brown - XXX: Man. This album is good. Every song is good. Every. Fucking. One. Danny does this cool thing too where he changes hist style on the fly. The first half of the album is crazy. Danny raps about drugs women and partying while using his unique higher pitched vocals. Then the second half is a much more toned down serious sounding bunch of tracks that deal with more difficult topics. Instant classic.

Danny Brown - Old: Old is another strong album from Danny, but can get a little patchy at the very end. But man, I can’t stop listening to it. Dip stands out as one of the coolest sounding tracks that Danny’s put out.

Danny Brown - Atrocity Exhibition: Jeezers peezers, what a goddamn album!! This is one of Danny’s (I’m assuming there will be more) magnum opuses. This album gets weird. The production on the first track gives us the perfect tone for this record, that coincide with the lyrics that just tell us that something is off. And every other track works towards this idea. Ain’t it Funny feels like this massive cry for help and Really Doe is a perfect track talking about the problems in the rap game. This is another must listen.

Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism: This album is fantastic. I’m not a huge Death Cab fan, partially due to a lack of knowledge of them and partially due to the singers voice, but this album is undeniably good. It his some raw emotions with perfectly crafted music to back it up. I will be coming back to this album again and again.

Death Cab for Cutie - Narrow Stairs: I Will Possess Your Heart is an awesome 8-minute track that feels anxious and perfectly repetitive, but this album drags. The pacing here is an issue. By the end of the album I was ready to bail and finally be done with it. There are some good tracks, but there are too many duds.

(Quick Death Grips Note: I’m also a huge Death Grips fan, they are incredibly aggressive and experimental hip hop, not for everyone but give them a shot, good to use as a gaming soundtrack for the first time you listen to them so your brain can get used to their sound)

Death Grips - Exmilitary: Death Grips sounds so incredibly different from any of their other albums on this mixtape, but that’s what makes it so compelling. Their unique use of sampling mixed with MC Ride’s classic shouting delivery packs a massive punch to your ears and gut. It’s abrasive, but you can’t help but jam along with it.

Death Grips - The Money Store: This album is probably perfect. I wouldn’t cut a single song from its 40-minute runtime that ends much much too short. This album is mandatory listening. It’s abrasive, catchy, disgusting and aggressive. It makes you want to scream out into the night with a big “fuck you!”

Death Grips - No Love Deep Web: Where could Death Grips go after the money store? Darker. This album looses any sense of light which makes it feel like Ride is forcing rocks into your ear canals, but these emotions feel right at home in Death Grips unique sound.

Death Grips - Government Plates: This album starts off incredibly strong, hitting a great stride with Birds. As it goes on it slowly looses its footing, and Ride’s vocals which makes for a slightly lackluster album. Yet, it still keeps me coming back for the first half and the last two tracks.

Death Grips - Fashion Week: There are some great instrumentals here, but I had two problems with it. First, it is hard to call it Death Grips without MC Ride screaming murderous lines into my head, and second the album has very little focus musically. It ends up being a bit long for it’s own good and misses a few great places to end in favor of an incredibly abrupt ending.

Death Grips - The Powers That B: This two parter is interesting. Most critics prefer the second half like I do, but I still enjoyed the first part quite a bit. But man, Jenny Death (disc 2) ends up blasting Ni**as on the Moon out of the water with it’s punk rock influences, something that they would later touch more on in Bottomless Pit.

Death Grips - Interview 2016 EP: This is a strong instrumental album that is a perfect length. It feels less criminal in its exclusion of MC Ride than Fashion Week does, but I could always use more Ride.

Death Grips - Bottomless Pit: Shit, this album is nasty! Like really nasty and makes for such a strong Death Grips album. The beats are disgusting, the samples are depraved and the lyrics shouldn’t even be allowed they’re so gross, and that’s why I love it.

Denzel Curry - Nostalgic 64: It’s amazing that this was Curry’s first mixtape because it sounds like he’s been in the game a long time. He has style and his flow is tight. He knows when to get emotion and delivers a powerful song discussing the  difficult topic of police violence.

Denzel Curry - Imperial: Another solid record with great pacing. Slowly Curry is growing into one of the greats of this generation of rap and I’m happy to be on board now while he’s still on his way up. He’s got some great anger and intensity that I haven’t heard since like Young Pappy.

E:

Earl Sweatshirt - Earl: Earl comes out swinging for the fences, or for peoples faces. This mixtape is short, sweet and vicious. His lyrics range from poetic to downright disgusting. He shows off his skills and a little influence from the Odd Future crowd.

Earl Sweatshirt - Doris: Doris is incredibly solid. Every track is great instrumentally and lyrically. Features from Frank and Tyler propel this album into being a good album, but it’s Earl’s wordplay and unique flow that make it great.

Earl Sweatshirt - I Don't Like Shit, I Don't Go Outside: This is such an unpopular opinion, but this is my favorite Earl record (even Siri likes Doris more). Earl is introvert, anxious, anti-social and distrusting, which speaks to me very clearly. Each song is brimming with emotions that hide just beneath this tough guy facade, briefly showing their faces from time to time. Grief and DNA are the two best tracks as they paint such gnarly pictures.

Elucid - Valley of Grace: Wowzers bowzers, this is awesome. This is so awesome. It’s short as hell, but it comes in throws some great tracks and socially conscious lyrics at you then gets out. There is no fat on this, if anything I want more, but this is already the most experimental hip hop album I’ve heard in a while. He messes with industrial sounds, messes with mixing so that he is sometimes overshadowed by the music, messes with samples and messes with you. Listen to this, it’s half an hour so if you somehow don’t like it, it’ll be over soon.

Eric Clapton - Eric Clapton: This is a great album by Clapton that feels very much like a debut record. It’s not as catchy as Slowhand but still manages to entertain you. Worth a listen but I’m not going to be returning to this particular record month after month.

Everything Everything - Get to Heaven: It’s fine. The first few tracks are great, the last track is great. The middle is long and tough to get through, and the extended version just throws on songs that were rightfully cut from the regular studio version.

F:

Father John Misty - Fear Fun: Father John Misty makes a great first album apart from Fleet Foxes that immediately sets him apart from their sound. His humorous and cynical lyrics help to make the album standout as musically it isn’t anything you haven’t heard before.

Father John Misty - I Love You, Honeybear: Man, Father John Misty makes a solid album from front to back here. It’s funny, it’s awkward, its pretty and it’s a little nasty. Father John Misty found a style that mixes modern lyrics that are cynical and jaded with this happy sounding almost 50’s-esque rock that just inherently happy. The music and lyrics kind of oppose each other which makes this amazing disconnect that shows Father John Misty’s discontent with the current state of things. This is a must listen.

Father John Misty - Pure Comedy: This album is black comedy. Make no mistake, it is funny, but it is also depressing. The best way I can describe this album is that it’s like getting punched in the balls then riding a ferris wheel. You know it’s magical and beautiful, but it fucking hurts.

Feist - Let It Die: Mushaboom is so god damn catchy and sweet. There are some amazing songs on here, and then some that are… less amazing. Some can be a bit boring or just kinda iffy. Worth a listen though, it has a nice unique pop sound to it that is nice and soothing.

Fleet Foxes - Sun Giant EP: This EP feels very much in the same universe as Fleet Foxes first studio album which makes sense that they often package them together. It feels like a continuation of a fantastic album.

Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes: Talk about a strong album, this is pretty much perfect from the first second to the last. White Winter Hymnal is a great indie rock track that most people should know, but that may be the most underwhelming song on the album, which is saying a ton!

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues: This sophomore record does not suffer from a slump, in fact it’s right on par with their first album. It hits hard and beautifully with some of their most beautiful and odd tracks to date.

(UPDATE) The more I listen to this album the more I love it. And dare I say that it may be a perfect album. Its just so beautiful, so romantic, and just so goddamn perfect.

Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up: Crack-Up is weirdly dark for Fleet Foxes. There are some emotions that they are dealing with here that they haven’t had to deal with before. Isolation and alienation are common themes on this due to Robin Pecknold’s isolation from the band prior to the recording of this record. They also get more experimental. Their quiet moments are dead silent while their crescendos are blaring. I will be coming back to this album throughout life.

Flying Lotus - 1984: I wanted to like this album, but I found it to be a little repetitive and I couldn’t quite tell each song apart. It’s just a bit too focused for me and I was hoping for more of an array.

Flying Lotus - Cosmogramma: This is the one though, the sounds are weird and fresh and feel full of energy. FlyLo pops out a record that will be remembered in the electronic community for years to come.

Frank Ocean - Nostalgia, Ultra: Man, I wanted to like this mixtape a lot. It had great reviews, Frank’s voice and songwriting are usually top notch, but this one just didn’t do it for me. What bothered me was a lack of catchy tunes, too many filler tracks, and some pretty lazy sampling that actually resulted in a (probably unwarranted) lawsuit from the Eagles. This mixtape showed potential, but that was about it.

Frank Ocean - channel Orange: I really like this album. The first time I head it, it blew me away. Frank’s songs are catchy and his emotions run high through his lyrics. It’s a must listen, but what I will say is that after hearing Blonde, I think it has aged weirdly. This album has a loose concept that doesn't always work and not every song is perfect. His big focus of the album, Pyramids is basically two songs just jammed together with one being honestly kind of obnoxious while the other is incredible. It’s a great album but his next is better.

Frank Ocean - Blonde: Some prefer channel Orange to Blonde, but I’m not sure why, or how for that matter. It is less catchy, there are some weird flaws to the album, but it’s a much better album because of it’s emotional impact and the way in which it all comes together at the end of the album to make one of the strongest R&B albums out there. There are catchy songs like Solo and Nikes, if you don't mind the pitched vocals, then there are more subtle tracks that have palpable energy like Skyline To, a song about the every accelerating passage of time. You can literally feel the song, the day, week, months slipping away from Frank on this track. It’s amazing. And the ending track gets me so good every time.

Freddie Gibbs - Shadow of a Doubt: This is a great hip hop album that makes you feel cool. It’s drug dealing talk isn’t always glamorous, but Gibbs’ always lets it slide off his back. Also, any track with Dana Williams is bound to be incredible.

Freddie Gibbs - You Only Live 2wice: Short, bitter, redemption. YOL2 is nothing new, but it was a necessary album before we get anything new sounding from Gibbs. He’s been through a lot, and he lets us know in full detail. He’s happy to be home, but he is definietely a changed person.

Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Piñata: This is probably as close as we are going to get to a followup to Madvillainy, and that is okay because this album is fiyah! The two complement each others styles nicely and are able to push out fantastic beats and rhymes together that outshine most acts out there today. Not even remotely as good as Madvillainy, but it’s a worthy successor.

G:

Ghost Ship Octavius - Ghost Ship Octavius: If you like metal, especially classic metal, you’ll love it. These guys blast out songs with blaring guitars that shoot up scales faster than I knew hands could move. The singer holds these notes that force your index and pinky fingers up while sending your middle and ring fingers up. It’s nothing too new, but it’s great classical metal.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Life Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven: I don’t want to say much about this album because of what it means to me, but it is a must listen. It’s simply remarkable that humans made something this beautiful. I’m not too proud to say that this one made me cry.

Grizzly Bear - Horn of Plenty: Man, this album is lonely, but beautiful and ends on one of the most emotionally resonant songs you can listen. Check out the comments for the song ‘This Song’ on Youtube, people can’t help but get nostalgic with the track.

Grizzly Bear - Yellow House: Every song is a 3-D space. It sounds almost like the whole thing was recorded in a vast valley where sound was able to travel on its own time to the microphones. Each guitar, trumpet, violin and bass sounds perfectly orchestrated, yet utterly spontaneous. It’s beautiful and near perfect.

Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest: Grizzly Bear went a slightly different route here and made their songs a little less 3-D. Instead they feel tighter. The band feels like they know each note upcoming note from whoever is placed next to them. The songs are a bit catchier too, Two Weeks being a beautiful indie pop rock darling used in plenty of soundtracks over the years.

H:

Harry Styles - Harry Styles: I wasn’t expecting much from this album which made for a nice surprise, it’s not half bad. Problem is that it sounds incredibly dated and it came out a few weeks ago. The songs feel recycled from either some band in the sixties and seventies or Wolfmother, who would do it much better. His vocals are fantastic and clean, but that almost doesn’t work with the nature of the music. It almost sounds like it needs some more grit to it to be able to stand a chance.

I:

Ice Cube - AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted: A classic. Ice Cube is a wordsmith, his rhymes are deadly and so is his attitude. It’s worth every second it takes to listen to the whole thing.

Ice Cube - Death Certificate: Another strong album that ends on the most brutal diss track I’ve ever heard. No Vaseline was so brutal that Ice Cube and Dre still haven’t talked about it to this day! That’s pretty fucking awesome!

Isaiah Rashad - Cilvia Demo EP: It’s weird, this album starts similar to how Rashad’s next album feels, with much more laid-back tracks you can vibe to. Right towards the end though, Rashad picks up the intensity and drives it a bit. It works for him and the album has a really cool ending to it.

Isaiah Rashad - The Sun’s Tirade: Great if you like music that vibes a bit. It’s not gonna blow your socks off with energy, but it’s a great record that tackles tough emotions and drug abuse. Rashad is someone to watch in the future, if he can pop albums out in time.

J:

J Dilla - Donuts: Beats baby, beats!! Holy god, this is an amazing instrumental album that you can just feel the influence on. J. Dilla was on another playing field and this album shows just that.

(Quick J.Cole Note: I’m not a big J.Cole fan, nor have I ever been at any point, keep that in mind, if you like him keep liking him)

J. Cole - 2014 Forest Hills Drive: J. Cole is sort of an enigma to me, people love him and swear that he is rap royalty on the same level with Kendrick and Kanye, but he clearly isn’t. His production is good, yet lacks a certain dimension that others are able to attain. His lyrics, while slightly conscious, lack focus and self-awareness. And his albums in total feel jumbled and messy. This album is worth a listen, and sure has some catchy tunes, but will not go down in rap history as a classic. Also, Wet Dreamz is the most predictable song I have ever heard.

J. Cole - 4 Your Eyes Only: I enjoyed this album a bit more than 2014 Forest Hills Drive, which seems to be the opposite of most people. It has a more nineties sound, it’s a bit darker, but overall much more focused. With the exception of Neighbors, which comes out of absolutely nowhere, the album feels like a cohesive idea. Again though, this album just isn’t as good as it should be for the sales and praise that it gets.

Joey Bada$$ - 1999: How the hell was Joey 17 when this came out? This album is a solid 90’s throwback album with some great flows and rhymes. It’s not particularly conscious or aware, but as a debut mixtape, there are few that compare to it’s quality.

Joey Bada$$ - B4.Da.$$: I enjoyed this album a lot, but it feels almost like a continuation of 1999 and maybe comes off a bit better if it is listened to directly after 1999. It has a really similar 90’s hip hop sound, similar lyrical style and delivering. Great tracks, but not too different.

Joey Bada$$ - All-AmeriKKKan Badass: This is where Joey really changed things up a bit. Joey put out a fantastic record that will be on year ending lists. With this one he took a slightly more modern sound to his beats. His lyrics, if you can’t tell by the albums title, are much more politically charged. People have complained about the album being a bit jumbled and unfocused, but too me it felt right due to the amount of problems that we face today.

John Coltrane - A Love Supreme: Sweet Jesus!! This is that shit. This is a must listen album for every person alive.

Joni Mitchell - Ladies of the Canyon: Joni Mitchell writes poetry, then songs. This usually works incredibly well, but every once in a while it can make her songs feel like they have too little structure. This happens a few times on this record and it makes it a little hard to follow. When it does work though, which is most of the time, it’s beautiful music.

Joni Mitchell - Blue: Dimbo wimbo, this album is probably perfect. There are few records that are as beautiful as this one. Joni Mitchell takes poetry and turns it into music to incredible, INCREDIBLE results. A Case of You may be the most beautiful breakup song ever written, and the palpable sadness in The Last Time I Saw Richard is sure to get you to choke up a bit. Perfect on nearly all fronts. If you like folk, look no further.

Joni Mitchell - Court and Spark: Another nearly perfect album. More beautiful lyrics, more beautiful singing from Joni. My only problem with the album is it’s final track. The album feels very focused with a particular sound, and right at the very end she throws it out the window for a jazzy cover of Twisted that isn’t necessarily bad, it just doesn’t fit. Other than that, it’s pretty fan-fucking-tastic!!

K:

Ka - The Knight’s Gambit: Listen to this more than once. The first time you listen to it, it will feel kind of one track minded and slow. The production on each song feels a little similar, and so does Ka’s delivery. It’s his lyrics though that make his albums so astounding. Take some time to listen to his poetry in the music.

Ka - Honor Killed the Samurai: This album is similar to The Knight’s Gambit in the fact that it’s dense and requires more than one listen. If you like Ka you will like this album, if you don’t like Ka, it’s pretty similar sonically to his previous record.

Kamasi Washington - The Epic: Wow. This album brings something new to jazz, an genre that basically lives on retreading the past. This album feels fresh and like it could bring about a jazz revolution. It’s a bit of a beast though clocking it at around three hours, so take it slow when listening to it.

Karriem Riggins - Alone Together: Want fucking great beats that you can jam to? Check this one out, it’s easy to miss but should not be.

Kendrick Lamar - Section.80: These songs are all amazing, but have really meh hooks. Every hook just feels like it could have been thought out more and leave me a little disappointed every time. Yet, after every verse I’m thinking, or gasping, or wanting to listen again. This was telegraphing what would soon be some incredible albums.

Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, m.A.A.d City: This is Kendrick’s first masterpiece. There are no bad songs. Every song is catchy, every song is thought provoking, and every song is rock solid. The track order is thought out and the tone of each song is perfectly crafted. With Kendrick’s focus comes conscious lyrics, or stories that paint pictures, or the hubris of a 16 year old growing up in one of the toughest towns in the world. This album is endlessly replayable.

Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly: This is Kendrick’s magnum opus. Kendrick mixes jazz, hip hop, politically charged anger, the frustrations of fame, and the fear of mortality into a living album that seems to show a new side to it on each listen. It’s depth almost can’t be understood on the first listen through. It’s dense, long and a little obtuse at times. But once the full picture comes together, you’ll notice the album’s perfection. Each song feels like it serves a purpose, each feature is utilized perfectly, and each word was picked with thought and precision. This is a must listen.

Kendrick Lamar - untitled unmastered.: Leave it to Kendrick to have golden b-sides. How is he so good? These incredible tracks were the throw aways from the same recording sessions as To Pimp A Butterfly. They share the same jazzy funky style, but showcase new ideas. Sometimes it makes sense that a song or two wasn’t on TPAB, but never are the songs bad. This collection could’ve been a studio album, but at least he decided to release them in some form rather than cast them out to deluxe editions of albums down the line.

Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.: How do you follow up one of the best albums of maybe the past twenty years? It seems like a weird task, and even Kendrick knew it. This album is a departure from his previous styles. It sounds more modern, more catchy, much darker. From the album cover to the grime laced track Lust, this album reeks of depression. Each song sends us further down this pit that Kendrick was finding himself in. That even goes for the songs that seemingly attempt to throw us off from that. Love, a summer jammy type song, feels off, a trait that I’ve never heard on a Kendrick album. While this isn’t Kendrick’s best album, it has some of his most aggressive and brutal tracks to date.

Killer Mike - R.A.P. Music: This is basically an RTJ album before RTJ. Killer Mike does a majority of the rapping while el-p does the production, and pops in on a few songs. There’s raw anger that the two bring to RTJ albums here and Killer Mike comes through with some astounding bars. This album is a great listen and a great precursor to the stuff they would later do together as RTJ.

L:

Local Natives - Gorilla Manor: The first half of the album sounds like your ex-girlfriend’s “indie rock” playlist that features only recycled sounds from all the other bands that were out there around 2010. The second half feels like it was thought about a bit more thoroughly. The songs flow a bit better, the sounds are at least a little more unique, but for the most part this album feels like a mediocre “indie pop rock” album.

The Long Winters - Putting the Days to Bed: This album I listened to because I had heard of it from one of the many podcasts I listen to (MBMBAM). I am kind of on the fence with this record. When it hits a high, like the track (It’s A) Departure, it nails it, but there is a lot of downtime where songs either leave you wanting more or something different. It’s worth a listen or two but that’s about it.

Lorde - Pure Heroine: This is pop music with some surprising depth. Lorde doesn’t go the same route that most pop artists go talking about their money and fame, or other topics that no one can relate to. In fact, she goes the opposite direction and tells us how bored of that she is. On Team she sings one of the most accurate examinations of pop music, “I’m kinda over getting told to throw my hands up in the air.” Lorde makes an anti-pop pop album that is pretty great.

Lorde - Melodrama: Golly gee, this one’s a gooden!! Lorde makes an angsty album that isn’t obnoxious or really that trite. She feels alienated, she doesn’t like being famous, and she feels like people use her, and she is able to share those ideas with us in 11 awesome songs that are all catchy and serve their purpose well on the album. She even gets a little experimental from time to time, which is where I hope she goes next, in between her radio hit type tracks. Definitely surprised me with how good it really is.

M:

Madvillain - Madvillainy: This is an absolute must listen. Madlib basically defines what good production is on this album. His beats are incredible backdrops for MF Doom to drop some of the smoothest rhymes and bars you’ll hear. I keep coming back to this album over and over again because of Madlib’s production. He absolutely destroys it with weird samples and risks that should never work. Who puts an accordion on a hip hop track? Fucking Madlib does.

Marvin Gaye - What's Going On?: Smooth, sexy and ahead of its time both sonically and in its subject matter. It’s a classic and required listening simply for how influential it has been the R&B as a genre. We would be nowhere without Marvin Gaye, absolutely nowhere!!

MF Doom - Mm.. Food: This album is so weird. It’s a concept album about food. MF Doom makes a whole album about food, and it is somehow legendary. He’s able to spin this concept about a billion different ways with his weird sample heavy production. Just listen to it, I really don’t know what to say about it other than it’s incredible.

Mick Jenkins - The Water[s]: It’s kinda weird thinking that a concept album about water could be as good as it is. Mick Jenkins has an awesome flow, mixed with beats that literally feel like they’ve been drowned. They have this weird spacey underwater feel that just makes the album come together as a whole. If you like vibes hip hop that is weirdly aggressive (yeah I know that’s a contradiction but that’s kind of an accurate explanation), then you will like The Water[s].

(Quick The Microphones Note: The Microphones and Mount Eerie are both projects from Phil Elverum, he just changed his name after four albums to Mount Eerie)

The Microphones - Don’t Wake Me Up: How was this his first album? How was he 21 when he made it? He, ladies and gentleman, is Phil Elverum. He writes folk with weird noise rock stuff in there and this album is awesome and shows incredible potential. I can’t get enough of him. Listen to his entire discography. You will not be disappointed.

The Microphones - It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water: This is probably Phil’s first masterpiece. I don’t know anyone who uses sound in the same way. It’s lo-fi and grainy, he messes with the stereo mix, he throws in sounds that are literally unrecognizable. But under that are these incredibly rich folk songs that come straight from the heart. Phil’s lyrics are unique and beautiful. This can even be seen in the beautiful simplicity of the album title. This is another incredible album by Phil.

The Microphones - The Glow Pt. 2: This is probably one of my top five albums of all time. It’s weird experimental folk that has some elements of noise rock and metal et cetera. This album literally has me on the verge of tears a few times each time I listen to it because of Phil’s lyrics, his still fresh, even 16 years after it’s release, use of sound and beautifully flawed vocals.

The Microphones - Mount Eerie: This album picks up exactly where The Glow Pt. 2 leaves off. This album though is a much, much slower burn than The Glow Pt. 2, and can give you a bit more existential anxiety. This album feels massive in ambition and almost otherworldly. There is this odd feeling to all of the tracks that make it feel incredibly important and like you are just for listening to it. It’s just as experimental as The Glow Pt. 2, but in very different ways. This was, if you couldn’t tell by the name of the album, the beginning of Phil’s Mount Eerie style.

Miles Davis - Kind of Blue: This is the gold standard for jazz standards. These are some of the most famous jazz songs that are nowadays repeated at nauseam. On the record though they have some great life to them and are recorded beautifully. If you enjoy jazz this record is a must listen not only because it’s beautiful, but due to it’s historical significance.

Miles Davis - Bitches Brew: Oh baby, yes please!! Experimental jazz has never sounded so goddamn good!! This is such a weird and awesome album that just leaves you wanting more and more, despite it’s long length. This is where a lot of bands took their experimental influences from. Radiohead for example cited this as a major inspiration when they wrote OK Computer. This is such a good one.

(Quick Mount Eerie Note: The Microphones and Mount Eerie are both projects from Phil Elverum, he just changed his name after four albums to Mount Eerie)

Mount Eerie - “No Flashlight” Songs of the Fulfilled Night: Weirdly enough this album has a similarity to The Microphones first album. When listening to this album you can kind of feel that Phil has changed. His sound is much more subdued here than it is on The Microphones Mount Eerie album. it feels less grand in scope, but more personal to Phil. It sounds like he wrote these songs in the woods, by himself, with no flashlight. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking. The perfect start to the Mount Eerie name.

Mount Eerie - Lost Wisdom: This is probably tied with Ocean Roar as my least favorite Mount Eerie album. It isn’t bad so much as it is a little boring for Phil’s discography. It’s incredibly short and doesn’t really explore anything too new for him other than having a female vocalist on every track. I just wanted more and not really in a good way. This album only clocks in at 24 minutes so it feels too short for its own good.

Mount Eerie - Dawn: Aside from his most recent album, this is Phil’s quietest record. It’s easy to miss, but really shouldn’t be. It’s soft and thoughtful, but comes in and out of your life quickly and quietly. You won’y be itching to hear that one catchy track again, but you may come back to it to feel some quiet tracks on a sad night. Absolutely beautiful and understated record from Phil.

Mount Eerie - Wind’s Poem: Wow. This is a killer album, potentially his best, but it’s another one that is a little more difficult to listen to. This album mixes his normal folk style with these screeching metal guitars that thoroughly shake your head when you’re listening. This album feels like a sonic manifestation of anxiety and depression. That’s all I’ll say. Go listen to it.

Mount Eerie - Clear Moon: This album honestly feels like beauty and anxiety or tension at least are just having the most intense showdown. This album has some of Phil’s most beautiful songs that he has ever written on  it, like Through the Trees Pt. 2. You can’t listen to that song without falling under it’s perfect, spacey spell. On the other side though are some of the most chillingly anxious tracks that envelop your body with their dissonance. This is another near perfect album by Phil.

Mount Eerie - Ocean Roar: In theory this album is a sequel to Clear Moon, but its predecessor is a thousand times better. Ocean Roar is just kind of… well boring honestly. It’s very slow, very droney, and very meh. If you love Phil, you’ll at least enjoy it a little bit for what it is, but it just doesn’t stick out like his other immaculate albums do.

Mount Eerie - Sauna: Phil was in a good place in his life here, which makes his next album so goddamn sad. This album is pretty lighthearted, to the point where Phil has a song about books. It’s not his regular death contemplation or the exploration of depression. It feels like he was happy, I wish he could’ve stayed happy…

Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me: This album is a little weird to talk about due to its subject matter. This is one of Phil’s most stripped back albums because the music almost doesn’t matter, even though it is very good. This album is basically Phil venting to us about the recent death of his wife. It isn’t a fun time. There are times during this record where Phil is talking directly to his deceased wife, saying the exact amount of time since he saw her last. It’s incredibly raw emotion and rare truth that Phil spills on this record. Each song is soft and sets the tone for Phil to come in and just break your heart with each song, each idea and each word that comes through on this record. If you can, please support Phil and buy this record, or at least check it out.

M83. - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts: Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming is big and catchy, each bubblegum, neon dripping hook easily able to fill stadiums. Dead Cities is smaller, more intimate, weirder, more tortured and slept on. It takes more than one listen to hear it’s intricacies and emotions. Sometimes it’s beautiful, like on Unrecorded. Synths fill the air as soft piano-like notes flutter on top of it. Other times it’s nasty and harrowing, the last part of Beauties can die feels utterly hopeless and covered in grime. This is a great electronic album.

N:

NAO - So Good EP: So Good is so good. This EP is pretty awesome, mostly due to the catchy titular track with A.K. Paul. Their chemistry is awesome and this song is sexy as all hell. Definitely worth a listen, and I’ll bet that you’ll come back to So Good when you need an extra dose of sexy in your day.

NAO - For All We Know: Not every track is a winner, but when NAO hits, she has a killer song on her hands. For example, In the Morning is incredible, absolutely incredible. But this album is long, and there is a lot of filler in between the great songs. NAO’s voice though is what pulls this record together into a project that is satisfying despite it’s misses, and she is going to stay on my radar in the future.

Nas - Illmatic: Looking back at it, it’s absolutely insane that I somehow missed this album. This is one of those albums that is pretty goddamn perfect from start to finish. It’s production defined the nineties and it’s lyricism was smart, cynical and sometimes heart breaking. And to top it all off, Nas was only 19 when this album came out. That always makes me feel bad about being 20 and not having one of the most genre defining albums out. Check this one out.

The National - The National: I went into this album with lower expectation due to it’s mixed reviews and I wasn’t really surprised either way. There isn’t anything super new or really too impressive here. It’s some decent rock with a slight country or Americana twang to it. If anything this album showed that they were a band to keep an eye on in the future. Potential, potential, potential.

The National - Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers: This one is a step in the right direction. This album has some great tracks on it. But the best parts of the record come when the band decides to really take a step out of their comfort zone. There are a few tracks where they decided to go slightly punk with it and begin to ramp up the intensity in the instrumentation and Matt really lets loose with some passionate yelling. This album is the direction I wanted the band to go in, more intense, more raw, more brutal.

The National - Alligator: This album is where the band really starts to get some buzz and good reviews, but honestly, I’m not sure why. This is the opposite direction in which I was expecting, and hoping the band would go in. Rather than lean into the more raw and intense, semi-punk driven style, they go back to their softer “indie” rock (I hate that moniker but I’m not sure what else to use) sound with Matt’s regular delivery. Speaking of his delivery, good lord can he please change it up? Literally every song he uses the same exact inflection and tone of voice, which makes them all blend together into this album sized amalgamation that just makes me lose interest around the midway point. He has this weird deep, throatier sounding drawl that gets old fast. Not quite my style.

The National - Boxer: More of the same… I mean, I’ll keep trying, because people say they’re amazing, but they just aren’t doing it for me. And Matt, please, stop with the weird throaty drawl. Please stop.

Neon Indian - Psychic Chasms: How is Neon Indian so cool without even trying? This album has this almost Strokes level of swagger in a drastically different genre. This electronic album is funky, danceable without being fast, and spacey. This is the type of music you listen to by yourself while staring at the ceiling, mesmerized by all the weird sounds and smirking knowing that you are cool for knowing who Neon Indian is. It feels like a album that was slapped together pretty easily from the heart and just nailed everything perfectly, even finding one of the most unique sounds in the electronic genre. This is feel good music that is original.

Neon Indian - VEGA INTL. Night School: Neon Indian’s second album Era Extraña lost the magic that Psychic Chasms brought to the table. It felt self conscious and much too aware of what it was going for. This album feels like a slightly fed up Neon Indian deciding to just make something that they enjoy rather than cater to every audience at once. All I want to do when listening to this album is dance. It’s catchy, it’s sexy and it makes you feel awesome just for listening to it. This album isn’t quite like his previous ones because of it’s more catchy melodies and danceable beats, and I don’t think it’s quite as good as his debut album, but it packs a gnarly punch from its first track to its last.

Neutral Milk Hotel - On Avery Island: Their first record is this amazing mix of folk and noise rock that they would later perfect on their next record, but this record is nothing to sneeze at. It feels much different from their next partially due to the amount in which they utilize noise rock here. There are a few songs where the instrumental would be called, “not music” by those who can’t appreciate the experimentation. Not only did this album show potential, it also takes you on an awesome journey that you will come back to, no doubt.

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea: This album is plagued by memes and obnoxious 4chan users who think they are funny just writing lyrics on repeat at nauseam on threads, but there is actually a reason for it. This is one of those albums that from the moment it starts, you can feel something special about it. It has weird, often surreal or fantastical lyrics mixed with a sort of folk rock with these noise rock accents. There are beautiful melodies and dissonant ones too that each work together to make an utter masterpiece. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you miss this album, it is spectacular.

Nick Murphy (fka Chet Faker) - Missing Link EP: I wanted this to be good, I wanted it so badly, but it’s just not great. Nick is in a weird place right now, he has no idea where to go right now. What do you do after an album that blasts you out of obscurity, that’s style is no longer appealing to you? I have no idea… and Nick doesn’t either. This EP feels so uncomfortable, and not in a good way. Each song feels like a different album, hell, even a different artist. None of them are particularly shocking or catchy, they just kind of roll off your back once they finish. It’s just… disappointing.

Noname - Telefone: Noname is like the quiet girl in high school who, when she does speak up, is by far the most interesting and entertaining person in the room. Her style is similar to the likes of other Chicago artists (or you could call it the Chance style). She uses some hints of gospel as a backdrop for her subtle and soft lyrical style that make you take a minute and think about. She doesn’t show off her beats and vocals though, she opens up and really gives us some incredibly touching stories and emotions. She’ll be around a long time, and she can only go up from here.

Notorious B.I.G. - Life After Death: Biggie is one of those rappers that is just on the boarder of being overrated, then when you listen to his stuff you don’t think he’s popular enough. He just had a way with rhymes and beats. He was able to rap about slinging crack, then immediately after share some deeper emotions and have it all fit into these crazy visions he had for his two records. Just incredible stuff, truly incredible. We lost Biggie much too soon.

O:

Oddisee - The Iceberg: This just barely missed being on my best of 2017 list. This is a great, conscious hip hop album. Oddisee has some interesting insights and is a great storyteller. My favorite song on the project, or at least the one that sticks with me the most is You Grew Up. It takes an interesting look at racism and how that can grow in children if it is fostered, definitely a powerful portrayal.

P:

The Pablo Collective - The Death of Pablo: I usually do not enjoy remix albums. Their lack of creativity usual defines the style, slapping on today’s most obnoxious trends onto previously released songs. But this… this is different. This doesn’t even remotely feel like The Life of Pablo. Following their mission statement, this album is darker, grittier and so much more disgusting. It will drain the life out of you and make you feel utterly hopeless, especially in the middle where there is about a ten minute industrial sounding interlude attempting to simulate the sounds of death. Right as you want to shut it off from just being too much, it comes back around and hits you with this incredible speech from Kanye set to music. This is an incredible project.

Perfume Genius - Put Your Back N 2 It: You ready to cry a little bit with me? Goddamn, Hadreas delivers an incredible album that is stripped back to basically just his own soft shaky vocals and piano chords that are reverbed the fuck out of. He throws in a few background sounds here and there, like heavily distorted vocals or strings, but the take away hear are the lyrics. This is an emotional ride that will break you. He sings about the struggles of being a gay man, domestic abuse, just being sad, and be able to power through that.

Perfume Genius - Too Bright: Hadreas brings the feels again with this soft, at times nasty, sludgy record that mixes his previous style with something a bit more layered. The song Queen is a good example of what this album is. Hadreas uses vocals that could be found on his last record, but with an instrumental that would’ve felt outlandishly out of place due to its thickness and staggering dimensions. With that being said, it’s still able to remain subtle, soft and slow. But if there weren’t emotions flowing through each lyrics veins, it wouldn’t be a Perfume Genius album.

Perfume Genius - No Shape: Man, this album immediately shows that it’s different from Hadreas’ previous records. On the first track, it starts like his other albums, soft and subtle, then it just explodes with a wall of sound and textures. This is Hadreas’ most difficult album to listen to if you are not acquainted with more experimental sounds, but in my opinion, it’s his best record.

Phoenix - Ti Amo: I love Phoenix. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix is such an awesome album that just hits high after high until you’re left mashing the repeat button on every track. I listened to Ti Amo on its release date, and I genuinely don’t recall a single lyric or melody. It’s just really boring and uninspired. It feels like they were contractually obligated to pop out another album so they put something together in three months that at least sort of sounds like Phoenix and called it good. I hope they take some time to find themselves and a good direction forward before making another album.

The Postal Service - Give Up: I almost guarantee that you’ve heard a majority if not all of this record before just on radio stations or your friends barbecue mix tape. It’s influential no doubt, it’s sounds are familiar at this point due to how often people have borrowed their sound, but that doesn’t alway mean it’s good. Some songs are fantastic and each catchy note or melody gets burned into your skull, yet other songs can get a little boring. It’s just a bit inconsistent. I wish that they had made more albums together because if they had let their sounds grow a bit I bet they would've put out a killer record.

Q:

Quelle Chris - Being You is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often: This is an awesome hip hop album that skates through humor and existential fear at the same time. Quelle Chris’ delivery stays at a lower, almost monotonous, level that works with his dry humor and battered emotional state. His production also has some Madlib-esque spice to it that is entertaining and experimental. Please check out this record, it is worth your time.

Quasimoto - The Unseen: This is one of those classic hip hop albums that only intense hip hop heads know. I wouldn’t have found it had my good friend not told me to check it out. Quasiomoto is one of Madlib’s alter egos. He works in some great production and lyrics into this must listen album.

R:

Radiohead - Pablo Honey: This album gets a lot of hate from Radiohead fans for being too generic and of the nineties. It’s not terrible, but it’s definitively not Radiohead. Creep is by far the best song on the album but should not be Radiohead’s most popular song. The bad songs on the album though could have been popped out by any band from that time period.

Radiohead - The Bends: This is the first “real” Radiohead album. They really began to find their footing here. This album is filled with two types of songs, way more of the latter than though. The first are songs that feel slightly dated with that nineties alternative rock sound. These are songs like The Bends. The second type are songs that feel right at home in Radiohead’s discography. The songs that feel dated though aren’t bad, they just have a little nineties stank on them. But when this album hits a high, similar to Radiohead’s other albums, it hit’s so hard that you are amazed for the next five minutes because of that one note. High and Dry comes to mind as a song that will blow you away.

Radiohead - Kid A: They say that OK Computer was what solidified Radiohead in history, then Kid A solidified them in the future. This album showed us that Radiohead had legs past the nineties. They came out with this album that is part rock, part electronic and all weird. It was polarizing when it came out, but an undeniable classic now that has influenced the rest of their discography and so many other bands all over the place. Listen to this record. Period.

Radiohead - Amnesiac: Packaged as a sort of sequel to Kid A, Amnesiac is a collection of Kid A b-sides that are surprisingly good. These tracks were so good in fact that they warranted another studio album rather than being scattered and released at weird times throughout the years. The rock tracks here are Radiohead’s classic style that is always able to amaze me, and their electronic tracks give you new sounds to wrap your head around. All in all, a great record.

Radiohead - Hail to the Thief: People have thought of some weird analogies for this record. Pitchfork even went as far as to say that it’s an anti-masterpiece (in a good way somehow?). All you need to know is that this is a great record. It won’t alter your life like some of their previous projects, but it’s got some fantastic stuff on it.

Radiohead - In Rainbows: This is the album that they needed after Hail to the Thief, a great but not spectacular album. They took some extra time with this one and popped out one of their best records. This thing is filled with amazing songs from the almost dancey 15 Steps, to the soft and thoughtful track Nude. This was Radiohead telling us that not only did they still have it, they were better than most even after 15 years since OK Computer.

Radiohead - The King of Limbs: People hate this record. It’s fine. It’s not amazing, but it’s not terrible. It’s just kinda middle of the road. Listen to it if you love Radiohead, if you don’t know Radiohead don’t start with it. That’s it. It’s fine.

Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool: Oh man… where to begin. This shows Radiohead’s brilliance. After over 20 years they are somehow still able to pop out one of the best records of the year!! It’s slow and soft, yet it drags you into it’s atmosphere immediately and holds you under what feels like sonic water. The highs are spectacular and the emotional lows can be felt throughout your whole body. This is just another one of Radiohead’s immaculate albums.

Ratt - Out of the Cellar: It’s Ratt. Their fun, they put out some good hair metal, they’re fun live. I don’t think that their music will really go down in history as incredible stuff. It also kinda says something when I was the youngest person at the show. It’s just kind of a dated sound that doesn’t really need to come back because we’ve just moved past it. Again, it will occupy you for about thirty minutes but it’s not something that will change your outlook on life.

Red House Painters - Down Colorful Hill: Eh… Not for me. It’s too slow and dramatically emotional. I’ll try again with them in the future, but I was more waiting for the album to be over than listening for subtle details.

Run the Jewels - RTJ3: This is not my favorite RTJ album, but by no means do I think it’s bad, it’s spectacular. These two have some of the best chemistry in hip hop today. Their political opinions blast through and give this album the most anxious feeling. Even when they step away from political ideology it works well. Their song to their deceased friend is heartbreaking and perfectly accented by Kamasi Washington on the tenor sax.

S:

Sampha - Process: My god. This album is incredible. Sample fuses R&B with electronic music, just sings over the piano, and get’s slightly experimental here. It’s pretty amazing that this is a debut album because it feels like he’s been doing this a while. This album will have you moving, will make you try and hit the notes that Sample belts out, and will tug at your heart a bit. He really blew it out of the park with this album.

(Sandy) Alex G - Rocket: Damn. Incredible fusion of folk, punk, experimental, industrial and everything else. It’s so goddamn good. Poison Root kicks off the album softly and as it progresses it gets intense, then it eases back out. One of the best albums of the year in my opinion and may make it into my year end list. Go listen to this sucka!! (Also, he was opening for Fleet Foxes when I saw them, but I got to the show late and missed him, I’m beyond crushed!!)

Shabazz Palaces - Black Up: I had heard these guys compared to Death Grips a couple of times so I had to check them out. After listening, they are only similar in their use of experimental beats. But man, if they aren’t experimental. These guys do some crazy things from polyrhythms, to throwing out song structure completely. That may sound interesting, or be a deal breaker to you, but either way, you should check these guys out if not to only see what is possible under the hip hop umbrella.

Shapes & Colors - Love / Sex / War EP: Okay, so these guys talked to me on twitter and seemed really nice, so I will try to be gentle. It’s… not great. It feels very generic and done a million times before. It’s just indie rock that maybe would’ve sounded new in 2008, but it feels a little dated upon release. Check it out if you want to support these guys, but I found it difficult to get through it’s short length.

The Shouting Matches - Grownass Man: I wanted this album to be amazing, but it just isn’t. There are some amazing tracks, like the great Gallup, NM, but there are also some boring tracks. It feels like the boys weren’t quite sure what they wanted to do with this album, they just knew they wanted to make a bluesy record. With the few exceptions, most of the album feels a little stale.

Snakadaktal - Sleep in the Water: That reverb be heavy doe!! I wasn’t expecting much from this due to the band’s silly name, but this is a pretty great dream pop album. It feels spacey, yet emotionally potent. Plus the band’s dual vocalists adds another dimension to songs like Too Soon. These guys reminded me of Beach House a bit, but not so much that it felt like either band was stealing from each other.

Soft Cell - Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret: Look, this album is incredibly 80’s. It feels like they were using synths for the first time in the studio they sound so simple. But this album has some killer tracks. First off, the classic Tainted Love is undeniably catchy despite being so 80’s you can basically feel the neon dripping off of each beat. The final track Say Hello, Wave Goodbye also stands out because of its emotional impact coming late in the record. If you can get behind the 80’s clichés and rock with this britpop, you will find something to enjoy here.

Spoon - Hot Thoughts: It’s weird how Spoon is incapable of making bad albums. They just seem to pop out good albums one after another. While this isn’t my favorite of theirs, it still has some great material, including the title track that bounces in your head and gets stuck their for weeks. Britt’s vocal delivery fits so perfectly with their sound it seems like these musicians were born to play together. Another great one from the boys in Spoon!!

Squarepusher - Feed Me Weird Things: I don’t know if there are any other artists that have a similar sound. Squarepusher has made a career out of the most unique mix of jazz and… I don’t even know it’s just incredible. His first album must’ve seemed so weird when it came out. I can’t imagine what people who knew him must’ve said about it. I know this is vague, but I’m not sure what to say about his stuff, just go listen to it.

Squarepusher - Music is Rotted One Note: I feel like I will be listening to this album when I finally go insane. This is like jazz if jazz had schizophrenia. It’s so weird and experimental and anxiety ridden, yet beautiful at the same time. It makes you feel like you’re crazy when you listen to it, but it also takes your breath away at least once every song. It’s not for everyone, but goddamn it’s at least for me.

Squarepusher - Go Plastic: This is Squarepusher going plastic, or at least synthetic. These songs are all electronically produced, which is different from his normal style of physical instrumentation. This is another great album by the always weird always awesome Squarepusher.

Substantial - The Past is Always Present in The Future: This album really surprised me. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. I hadn’t heard of Substantial, and his album cover for this thing is… just really bad, like really bad. But good goddamn if it’s not fantastic!! It’e emotional, socially conscious, utilizes Tonedeff very well, and is thoroughly enjoyable. It sounds weird, but I do think that the tracklist should be shuffled around a little bit in order to really make certain songs have more of a payoff, but this is a great hip hop album even without that.

Syd - Fin: I knew Syd a little bit from her days in Odd Future, providing backing vocals for Tyler, Earl and Frank. I hadn’t listened to her stuff from The Internet, so I went into this pretty unaware of how she would sound. Goddamn does she have a voice. This album is enjoyable because of her voice.

SZA - Ctrl: Man, SZA is fun to listen to. She’s got a great voice, can write lyrics well and has some great beats backing her. The one problem I had with the album is just the lack of focus in terms of emotions. I didn’t feel a central idea coursing through it, which isn’t necessary, but I feel would be greatly impacting and powerful for her style. Kung Fu Kenny also has a good feature on this thing.

T:

Temple of the Dog - Temple of the Dog: This album is another one, similar to Mount Eerie’s A Crow Looked at Me, that sends a past loved one off. Rather than being as detailed and soft, this one goes for a different approach. It’s music as opposed to lyrics are what do the trick here. This super group of nineties rockers came together to pop out this one beautiful record. Chris Cornell (RIP), Mother Lovebone and Eddie Vedder all bring their styles together for an incredible and heartbreaking project that will go down as a fantastic nineties moment.

Thundercat - The Golden Age of Apocalypse: This is Thundercat at his absolute best musically. Every song is incredible with some of the most impressive bass playing that I have ever heard. If you like jazz, hip hop, funk, or anything in between, you would be doing yourself a disservice if you missed this incredible record.

Thundercat - Drunk: Thundercat’s lyrics get funnier, his songs get catchier, but his focus gets wider. This album is fantastic, but is a little on the long side and could probably use a few edits here and there of songs that don’t quite stand out among the others. And let’s just get Wiz Khalifa off of this, he just doesn’t do the album any good. Kendrick can stay though, Kendrick can always stay.

Todd Terje - It’s Album Time: This album is so weird and funny and cool and stupid and amazing. It feels like Todd wrote and performs this album with a giant smirk on his face the whole time. I mean for god sake, it’s called It’s Album Time. His tongue is in his cheek and it works so well for this electronic joyride. It’s just fun and weird. I have no idea what else would fit into the same category.

Tonedeff - Polymer: Tonedeff is interesting to me. On paper I should love him. He is a fantastic producer, an artist who tries to go deeper than most, and a great storyteller on top of that. But for some reason I have a hard time getting into his stuff. There always seems to be some aspects of his songs lyrically that I just can’t get over. Sometimes they just feel like he’s trying a little too hard, sometimes he’s just trying to go for the quick emotions. He’s okay, but just not my cup of tea. However, he is great to see live and if you get the chance please do, because he makes his shows incredibly entertaining and interactive.

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory: Tribe is legendary. If you don’t know them you are depriving yourself of some of the best jazz hip hop ever to be produce. ‘Nuff said!!

A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders: Another stellar projects from Tribe. Their chemistry is always amazing, their beats are perfectly stylish and practical, and their lyrics always surpass expectations. Legendary group that will go down in history!! Perfection!!

Tycho - Past Is Prologue: This album showed me that Tycho had a little growth throughout his career, but it’s honestly pretty subtle. There are just certain droney sounds he likes using more now than he did then. Still sounds like Tycho.

Tycho - Dive: Don’t get me wrong, I like Tycho, but his music isn’t anything I haven’t heard before. It’s something that you would find on one of those YouTube playlists called, “Chill Music,” or “Chill Wave.” It would have some picture of a sunset or beach and this would be perfect to zone out to with friends while talking about the universe. It’s slow and meant to be in the back of your head.

Tycho - Awake: Tycho’s albums kind of all feel like a continuation of the last one. This is vibe music through and through. If you are looking for something challenging or incredibly interesting, look somewhere else. This one is basically filler music, or entertaining elevator music.

Tycho - Epoch: More of the same. It just sounds like Tycho, which can sometimes just be aggressively average.

Tyler, The Creator - Bastard: When you go back and look at all the old Odd Future stuff, if you’re like me, you’ll get a little nostalgic and watch Oldie with a huge grin. So much of their stuff at the time was great but has aged pretty poorly, or I can just see that it was never very good. But Tyler, Earl and Frank did always have something special. Of the mixtapes that came out in the early Odd Future days, this and Earl are the two best. Bastard is one of those albums that provoked and prodded, but above all, it showed potential. The beats are nasty, the lyrics are nastier and Tyler’s attitude is above all the nastiest. If you can stomach his shit, this is a great one to check out.

Tyler, The Creator - Goblin: This is an awesome concept album that starts so strong then kinda peters out under its own weight. This album is chalk full similar to his next album, and not every song is great. But Tyler brings a certain anger that just makes me want to throw shit out the window in defiance. His nasty lyrics itch that fucked up part of your brain that is often discouraged, but Tyler forces it out of you on songs like Yonkers and Tron Cat. If you enjoy hip hop and can handle song goddamn disgusting lyrics mixed with a cool concept, check this one out.

Tyler, The Creator - Wolf: Wolf is Tyler’s strongest album, despite the fact that it lacks a lot of focus. (UPDATE: Flower Boy is now his strongest with Wolf as his second most) I’ve listened to Wolf probably ten times now and I can recall songs from it, but when I try to think about the overarching themes or ideas, I kind of tend to draw a blank. Yet, the high moments are high, raw and fucked up. Rusty is a great ensemble track that tries to piss you off in classic Tyler style, Awkward is a heartfelt song from Tyler to his dad, and IFHY is an amazing song to an ex who he had a bit of a rough breakup with. Tyler also used his features incredibly well making them important and necessary parts to each song. This is a great album that you should really check out.

Tyler, The Creator - Cherry Bomb: Oh boy… Cherry Bomb is Cherry Bomb. It’s weird, it has some good stuff, but it’s also got Tyler’s worst stuff. It’s such a mixed bag that just doesn’t always work, in fact it doesn’t most of the time. This is one of those ones for die hard Tyler fans, but if you don't love him it’s not really for you…… I’m sorry, I’m trying to be positive here, but it’s just bad.

U:

V:

Vagabon - Infinite Worlds: Look, I like the genre, but Jesus Christ, can someone please, PLEASE just think of something new?! This album is literally every single idea that I’ve been hearing for years just jammed up in the same album. There are like two songs of note and I don’t remember which ones because I didn’t want to listen to it a second time. This album was just disappointing to me.

Van Morrison - Astral Weeks: This is one of those albums that you would find in your parents or aunt and uncles collection that upon first glance would skip, then when listening to it cry like a fucking baby. I’ve always been a fan of Van Morrison, and Moondance was what I’ve always thought of as his best album, but this one… this one is different no doubt. This one is less catchy, a bit more long winded, but maybe more powerful. Morrison’s almost strained Irish vocals are carried along by the soft guitar and meandering flute player on the title track, setting a perfect tone for the album. If you want a great album that is soft, but will blow your socks off, check this one out.

(Quick Vince Staples Note: I have seen Vince Staples live and that may have caused me to be a little biased, I don’t think it did but just keep that in mind)

Vince Staples - Hell Can Wait EP: This is a great EP. This is what put Vince on the map. This album shows his talent and incredible struggle to get to where he is now. The beats slap and his vocals cut through the mix like knives. Some may find his voice to be whiney or too high pitched, but it works for his style in my opinion. This is a can’t miss, especially if you are interested in seeing where he came from and where he will go.

Vince Staples - Summertime ’06: Badabing!! Wowzers bowzers, radio hits, spacey beach sounds and Kilo Kish. This is Staples at his best. This album’s structure is incredible, starting off strong with Lift Me Up and Norf Norf, then Lemme Know all on the same side?! Unreal shit. This album is awesome!!

Vince Staples - Prima Donna EP: This one gets a little darker. Vince sounds like he’s been trapped in his own head for a little too long and is pleading to get out. His lyrics are anxious and his delivery varies from emotionally distant on War Ready to a little more urgent on Pimp Hand. His beats are ugly, in a good way, they’re lo-fi and glitchy, almost as if he rubbed sand into the soundboard in the studio. Great EP.

Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory: This is where Vince Staples needs to go. This album is a bit more experimental and uses his style in a way that is different from his previous releases. He seems to be experimenting more with beats than lyrics, which makes a few songs have eh lyrics, but overall it works. This album to me, seems like it will be a stepping stone to another album that just pushes everything further and he’ll pop out his magnum opus next, mark my words!!

W:

Warren G - Regulate… G Funk Era: Makes you want to go to the East Side Motel. (It’s a classic that is required listening, so go listen to it… like now.)

Wavves - You’re Welcome: It’s just so aggressively mediocre that I began to resent it after the first ten seconds. There is nothing that sets this album apart from others, there is nothing that makes it very good or very bad. The road they drive down is very much in the middle. Yucko.

X:

X - Los Angeles: Never thought I would hear Ray Manzarek playing punk music, but man, he fits in perfectly. This album is one of those ones that is the perfect amount of time. There is no fat on this album and every song fits in like it should. And again, Manzarek on keys was such a smart choice.

The xx - I See You: It’s pretty good, probably my favorite album of theirs. But it left me just wanting more of Jamie’s solo stuff. On Hold is just a Jamie xx song that the other two members of The xx jump on and deliver their usual meh style on. I liked it for what it was but I'm just sick of The xx sounding the same on every song… and I want more Jamie xx.

Y:

YG - Still Brazy: YG gets pretty brazy on this album. His production uses that classic G Funk style with a few updates to keep it fresh. The beats perfectly complement his vocal delivery that changes on tracks on in tracks too like on Don’t Come to L.A. YG also get’s pretty political on this one with tracks like FDT (Fuck Donald Trump), Blacks & Browns and Police Get Away Wit Murder. This is a surprisingly good album that I wasn’t expecting much on.

Young Pappy - 2 Cups Part 2 of Everything: This kid had some talent. Sadly, he is no longer with us, but, man, he knew how to write songs. His style is aggressive, Killa sounds like he’s gonna jump through your headphones and bite your head off. His production is sample heavy and bass heavier. We lost this guy too soon, I would’ve loved to see what he would’ve been able to put out in his later years.

Your Old Droog - Packs: The Jeselnik skits are pretty useless, forgettable and low energy from Jeselnik, but if you skip those this album is pretty amazing. Droog is a great storyteller, his beats are bonkers and utilize sound effects to help push his stories along and he knows how to write some real hot hooks. One of the best hip hop albums of 2017. Also, Danny Brown has a killer, KILLER feature on Grandma Hips that you can not miss!!

Z:

You guys are the best!! Thanks for everything!!

--Andrew

#music #reviews #lankyrandman

[stellarbisexual]

Reddie / IT fandom

Companion piece to Whenever I’m Alone With You, from Eddie’s POV

READ ON AO3

Two months into college, Eddie’s life could not look more different than it did in Derry.  He’d gotten a car and driven up to Vermont a full week earlier than freshman orientation, lying to his mother about the start date since he’d been practically bursting to get out of that fucking house, away from her, and across the state line since getting his acceptance letter.

He’d come to Middlebury with no lifeline and no real friends, apart from Bev, Mike, and Richie, all of whom he was on okay terms with but definitely didn’t hang out with anymore.  Richie’d “gotten them in the divorce,” as Stan likes to say (Eddie often wonders if he’d actually coopted the joke from Richie), though Bev always stops for a proper catch-up session when they run into each other on campus--if she isn’t with Richie, of course.    

But Eddie’d marched right up to the LGSA table the first day and never looked back, instantly gaining a group of loyal, fiercely protective friends to replace the ones he’d lost in the transition to college and the others he’d been slowly, painfully losing over the last few years.  They drive into the city--sometimes Burlington, sometimes all the way to Boston--to go to clubs and other college parties (all queer, of course). They have parties of their own. Eddie drinks and dances and never stops being surprised when a guy (any guy, though especially the really cute ones) is drawn to him.  The ball of anxiety at the pit of his stomach, the one that’s dictated most of his decisions since he was a kid, has shrunken down to no more than a tiny ulcer. Sometimes it likes to burn particularly brightly, usually within the first few minutes of Eddie walking into one of these dark, loud, crowded parties. But he just clings to his friends, literally, and breathes, waiting for it to subside.  And it almost always does.

He hooks up with guys, still feeling painfully young and not at all sexy the first few times until one day he feels practiced enough to feel like he sort of knows what he’s doing.  It’s way better than it was when he was with Victor; in a way, he needed to get away from home to feel like he was even allowed. He has fleeting moments where he feels attractive, even, like when he’s out with his friends and they’re loading him up on compliments (your eyes, your hair, your skin, Eddie), but he doesn’t carry it around in his pocket the way that some of the others are able to.  He suspects he never will.

He watches Richie continue to grow up and apart from him.  He’s hard to miss on campus, perpetually dark clothing and all legs (is the fucker ever going to stop growing?).  He trades his glasses for contacts, which gives Eddie an unexpected pang, though there’s a lovely little intimacy in getting to see his face bare, even if it’s as they pass each other in silence.  

Eddie sneaks into a couple of Richie’s band’s bigger gigs, ones at which he’s sure he’ll go unnoticed.  He hasn’t heard Richie sing since they were kids, and not for real much, anyway, and when he does, he immediately realizes his mistake.  Maybe Richie couldn’t sing Rodgers & Hammerstein for shit, but he can purr his way through almost anything with a guitar. And seeing him on stage, it’s too nostalgic, a pure, unadulterated taste of his old best friend, the kid he once knew, to whom he was once attached at the hip and shared everything with.  Eddie truly hadn’t realized how much he’s missed that part of Richie, the clown in him, and it makes him ache, seeing it on display for a room full of strangers instead of concentrated on just an audience of one (or a chosen, cherished six).

Richie’s laugh, God, it’s still the same, absurd and carefree and dorky, as if it has yet to catch up with his shiny exterior.  The ward of Eddie’s heart, the one dedicated to Richie, the one that’s been all sealed up and ramshackled shut, opens wide, flooding his chest and down the length of his limbs until there’s barely room for air.

-

At the end of his freshman year, Eddie’s roped into being a bachelor up for auction at some fundraiser LGSA’s hosting.  A room full of guys bidding on him sounds pretty terrifying, but it’s for a good cause, and he feels like he owes the group for singlehandedly carrying him through his first year, so he reluctantly says yes.

He turns to his friends in a slight panic (I don’t know what the fuck to even wear), and they gleefully dress him up in a three-piece suit and make sure his hair is perfect.  Most of the other bachelors are going kitschy or sexy, so they think it’ll help him stand out.  Besides, Eddie’d quickly realized after his second or third queer party that cutoff shorts and glitter just aren’t his thing, so he’s happy to don more traditional auction wear.

He’s not sure what to expect.  His fear is dead silence.

When he comes out on stage, the response is overwhelming, the cheers, whistles, and whoops feeling warm and supportive rather than objectifying.  Most of the people in the room know firsthand or by proxy Eddie’s backstory, his struggles to come to terms with who he is and create a healthy boundary with his mom, so he supposes that has a lot to do with the reaction.  It doesn’t make it any less flattering.

His entire face goes red instantly, and he turns away from the audience for a long beat to screech into his hands--which makes everyone laugh and applaud that much louder.

He eventually turns back to them, smiling sheepishly as the auctioneer reads Eddie’s “likes” and “dislikes” (that he totally didn’t fucking write) off of a neon pink index card.  It’s difficult to see the crowd under the lights, but Eddie finds himself holding on to an irrational hope that not only is Richie there but that he’ll bid on him, make some grand, stupid gesture like he used to just to get them in the same room again.  But Eddie also has a feeling Richie ran out of inspiration for grand gestures a long time ago, at least where he’s concerned.

It’s a confident, funny sophomore named Chris who ends up winning the bid on him, and they awkwardly agree to not go through with actually going on a date, that bidding for a good cause is enough and the whole thing is kind of fucking weird.  

-

Seeing Richie sitting behind him in class the first day of sophomore year makes Eddie feel like he’s in middle school again.  Just the night before, reeling from seeing him dancing and laughing with Bev and Mike under the stadium lights, he’d finally confessed their history to his new friends.  They’d driven to the beach and gathered around a bonfire for a game of Never Have I Ever, Eddie lighthearted and buzzed off of Magner’s until someone had disrupted the flow of more salacious “I’ve Never” statements with “I’ve never been in love.”  Eddie had finished off his bottle of hard cider and tossed it into the sand with a grimace, slouching further into his hoodie.

The others had to ask, and he was suddenly, fiercely in the mood to answer, so he’d told it all, the whole saga of how they’d become friends, taken solace in each other, and discovered themselves together.  Everyone had sat around the bonfire leaning towards him, eyes wide, rapt.

Oh my God, childhood soulmates.

I’ve always wanted that.

Eddie’d given them a small, bittersweet smile, though he couldn’t help feeling that there was a huge, crucial part of the narrative missing, something darker.  He and Richie weren’t just soulmates; they were survivors. He knew it in his gut: they’d been through a fucking war together. And yeah, they’d both had their crosses to bear as far as their families were concerned, Richie especially--but it was more than that, something even more life and death than the people and circumstances that shape who you are.

With Richie right behind him in class, he feels the spectre of all that and more.  He feels Derry, the good and the bad. He can almost taste the metallic bitterness of his inhaler blast on the back of his tongue.   Battery acid.   Richie knows all of it.  All of him.

A force much bigger than Eddie brings him to Richie’s band’s first gig of the year, another one where he can fly under the radar and, thanks to his height, sink into the shadows.  He stands still at the back, drinks way too much, and ends up making out feverishly with some older, swarthy, tattooed, pierced guy who definitely doesn’t go to Middlebury and might be too old to even be in college.  They end up on a bench outside behind his dorm, where anyone can see them, Eddie practically trying to crawl into the guy’s mouth, whining loudly as he sucks bruises into Eddie’s neck and shoulder.

He doesn’t bring him inside, and he doesn’t think of him when curling a desperate hand around himself in bed that night.

-

I was giving handjobs back when you were too chickenshit to let anyone breathe on you, let alone kiss you.   Richie’s mouth curling viciously around the word: chickenshit.

Eddie’s soaked his pillow case with tears, both sides, and now, sitting up at his desk trying to focus his vision on his chem textbook, he pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and heaves a raspy, dry sob.

let alone kiss you

This is it: this is the reason he’d started pulling away all those years ago.  This is exactly what he’s been trying to protect himself from, and now it’s happened.  Their kiss, Eddie’s first, something he still remembers clear as day and cherishes as one of the most beautiful, important nights of his life, meant next to nothing to Richie.  It’s been negated.

Holy shit, Eds, I always thought you were a eunuch down there.

He wraps his arms around himself and tries in vain to breathe.

Richie’s words have tapped into an ancient part of him, the part of him that would have hidden away in his tiny room in his mother’s house forever just to stay safe.

This is all assuming bisexuality is a thing that exists.

His own voice bounces around the edges of his brain, cold and clinical.

Eddie’d been cruel.  He’d negated Richie.   And if he’s completely honest with himself, he’d thrilled at the pain in Richie’s eyes.

Yeah, Richie’d been harsh, but Eddie’d been first.  Because Richie’s always been kind, especially to Eddie, and only bites when he’s already been gnawed to shit--and sometimes not even then.

Eddie’s mom had once told him that he had hidden barbs, and it’s possibly the only thing she’s ever said that he knew deep down was absolutely true.  

He immediately reaches for his stationery pad and tears a sheet from the top, clicking the nearest pen on his desk to life, throat raw and breath reedy as he scribbles out an apology.

-

Eddie’s vision goes spotty when he walks into Morgan’s Tavern that Saturday.  He sees them through the french doors at the front, all six of them impossibly beautiful to him, his hurtful history with one nearly forgotten in the face of all of them together like this.  He takes a deep breath, wanting to rush forward, throw himself into their arms, and yet not at all ready to snap that final piece of the puzzle into place. He observes quietly, swallowing down tears, flooded with a love he can’t believe he’d almost forgotten.

It was so fucking unfair of him, he realizes, to have ever thought he wasn’t himself until he came to Middlebury and linked up with the LGSA.  Bill, Mike, Bev, Ben, and Stan: they were the ones who’d actually opened the door and freed him, at no more than thirteen.

And Richie, of course.  Richie’d blown up the door with a cherry bomb, the two of them laughing all the while.  

Childhood soulmates?  Eddie’d had six. He owes them everything.

He sucks in a quiet, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” before cranking the handle and pushing the door open.  

Once they’re seated, Ben takes them all in and blurts it out: “I’m a little jealous, truth be told.  I don’t get to have any of you guys in New York with me.” His gaze lingers on Bev.

Mike jumps in, detailing his and Richie’s many failed attempts at making a trip down over the last year, and Richie smiles, though it’s soft and distracted.  His eyes glance at Eddie briefly, but his expression is clear enough, and it’s a sharp sentiment that Eddie shares, one of guilt for every moment they’ve spent ignoring each other in college.  

Bev takes Eddie’s hand under the table and whispers a swift, “You okay, honey?” into his ear, to which he gives her an enthusiastic nod and his patented of course I am face.  She winks at him and squeezes his fingers, and he ends up latched onto her side most of the rest of the night, Ben latched to the other.

Being in Richie’s room after dinner is more overwhelming for Eddie than he suspects it is for any of the rest of them; not only does it smell like him, but it’s got Richie’s personality all over it, right down to an orange blanket that Eddie recognizes from his childhood bedroom.  He has an eerie feeling that this inanimate object can somehow sense what he’s feeling; it knows a key part of their history better than anyone in this room.

Richie’s mere feet away, already digging into his liquor supply in the window bench and setting it up methodically on top of his dresser, but Eddie’s never missed him as much as he does right now.  Richie’s able to furnish “usuals” for Bev and Mike--and most of the others, too--but he has to ask Eddie politely what he wants, and that cuts deeper than Eddie expects it to.

-

Eddie wakes up the next morning in Richie’s bed, alone, his entire body aching with the memory of crying, the warm, forgiving embrace of Richie’s arms, and way too much fucking alcohol.  He wishes he could remember it all more clearly, though the emotional hangover is enough to piece together a narrative of last night, like a dream that dissolves away upon waking.

He’s in Richie’s clothes, he realizes, and that orange blanket is wrapped around him.  Richie’s eyes journey over his naked shoulder as it pokes out from under the collar of his own tee, then back to his face.  

Before Eddie knows it, he’s crying again, this time over Richie’s kindness rather than his cruelty.  He’s rambling, too, and Richie is shockingly patient through it all, one large, warm hand curled around Eddie’s shoulder--the one that’s still covered by his shirt.  He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s saying--he’s pretty sure there’s an apology in there--but he hopes what he wants to say comes through anyway: I need you, more than anyone else.

The rest of it happens even faster: laughter, hands grasping, kissing, and skin, so much skin--and not enough, either, desperate sounds from both their mouths, and in the end, even more laughter.  They laugh way harder than the moment probably warrants.

Then again, Eddie’s never been happier.  

-

Later that morning, after their five friends have given them no shortage of shit for looking like they spent the morning doing exactly what they’d been doing, they all go apple picking.

As the group makes its way down the narrow, sun-dappled rows of trees, Richie reaches down and envelops Eddie’s hand in his.  They stroll hand in hand, Eddie with a quiet smile on his face--until Richie pulls him into a secluded little clearing to make out for a bit and slip his cold hands under his shirt.  Eddie yelps, playfully smacking his hands away but still pulling him down for one last kiss by the collar of his open overshirt. They look at each other, both clearly remembering the last time they’d stolen a kiss in public, their friends providing unintentional protective cover just by being nearby.  Eddie smiles wide and pulls Richie’s face down again, sliding their mouths together sweetly, with all the gratitude in the world.

Being here reminds Eddie of how beautiful Richie looks in the autumn light, how it puts fiery yellows and oranges and reds into his eyes and hair.  It’s an incredible thing, to be able to look at him this way so openly, after all these years. He reaches out and touches it, the fire of his hair, and Richie gives him a soft smile, hooks an arm around his neck, and presses a kiss into his hair, leading them back toward their friends.

Eddie can’t help but look over his shoulder, back at the secret spot they’re leaving behind, up at the sky above it, blue with the threat of grey just underneath.  He can’t help but think that though they’re protected, they won’t be for long.

When they rejoin the rest of the Losers, he notices Mike and Bill look up at the sky and shiver, clearly thinking the exact same thing.

-

Later that day, after everyone’s gone back to their respective homes (Mike graciously giving them the room again), they have the time to truly savor each other.  Eddie’d be totally tempted to skip all of his classes this week if he could afford to; it is almost time for midterms.

Richie sits on his bed, Eddie standing in front of him.  “Let me look at you,” Richie says, fingers playing with a loose thread on one of the thighs on Eddie’s jeans.  “It’s not every day that I have the cutest guy on campus in my room.”

Eddie ducks his head, but Richie pushes a gentle knuckle under his chin so they can connect eyes, Richie’s filled with an odd mixture of anticipation and relief.  

Richie reaches up and musses his hair just so he can put it back into place--or maybe he’s just arranging it how he likes it.  Eddie’s eyelids go heavy at the touch. “You growed up real good, Kaspbrak.” Richie’s smile is lopsided and adorable.

“I hope I’m not totally ‘growed up’ yet.”

“I hope you are,” Richie murmurs into his neck.  “You’re the perfect height for me,” he says, then kisses his neck.  “I missed you. I missed you so fucking much.”

Eddie’s hands dive into Richie’s hair, holding him right there in the crook of his neck, irrationally afraid he’ll disappear.  “I missed you too, Rich.”

When Richie pulls back to look at him again, his eyes are big, brown, and glassy.  He lays a hand over Eddie’s heart, then starts tapping along with the beat, fast.   “Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom,” he mimics quietly.  “Like a hummingbird’s wings.”

He pushes Richie’s hair out of his eyes and straddles him again, just like this morning, Richie’s arms settling comfortably around his waist, tight and yet never tight enough.  

Richie isn’t his first, and he’s not Richie’s, either, but it feels way more important than his first time, way bigger.  Richie knows him--not just confident, out-of-the-closet Eddie, but all the icky stuff that got him there--and Eddie’s so fucking in love with every version of Richie, too: the Richie that used to climb through his window, the one that used to pretend to sneeze on his pizza just to freak him out, even the Richie that broke his heart.  

He especially loves the Richie that’s wrapped up with him now, making him feel all kinds of good and gorgeous, the one that dips him onto the mattress so he can lay properly, settling his manic heart.

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#hummingbird #mah fic #reddie #it 2017 #it 1990 #stephen king's it #IT'S FINALLY DONE #i'm not crazy about it #but i had to finish it #BAAH