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#I like this one better so far though. feels more personal
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"Friends with feelings" - Luke Hughes x Reader
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Summary: In which forgetting a glass of water before bed might just be the best thing you've ever done. Based on this blurb.
Warnings: Kissing, a lil ass grabbing, alludes to self-pleasuring, mentions of abs, nipples and pretty curls.
A/N: Hi! It's been a while since I've written a longer fic (it's 5.5K words, that's a lot for me HAHA) like this, and I would be sososososo very appreciative of any feedback at all<3 Also, I've written Luke slightly differently than I usually do, a little bit more cocky and confident and probably a bit more like how he'd be with his actual friends/ a girl he's liked for a while and is close with, but anywassss, I hope you enjoy! __________________________
Usually, you like to think you're a person with little to no regrets, always finding a way to appreciate the memory or use the situation as a valuable life lesson.
Not bothering to go downstairs and get a glass of water before you got into the air mattress on the floor next to Jess, your best friend and designated roommate for the week, though? That's probably the biggest regret of your life. Or, at least that's how it feels when you wake up at two-thirty in the morning, mouth dryer than the Sahara (the effect of a few too many beers and cups of Pink Whitney trying to exit your system, no doubt). The last two days have mostly consisted of varying types of drinking; day drinking, night drinking, drinking games, you name it, but that also always seems to be the case when your college friend group meets up over summer break.
This year, Luke Hughes, despite not actively being in college anymore but still a valued member of the friend group, has so graciously been allowed to borrow his big brothers' lake house for the week, saving your group money on an Airbnb and the struggle of finding something big enough to accommodate ten people. Despite not having enough rooms for everyone to get their own (hence the air mattress and the sharing of a room with four girls), the lake house is by far better than whatever cramped shoebox of a house Mark and Ethan managed to book you into last year.
Truth be told, you were thankful for Luke even asking his brothers in the first place, especially since you had been walking around with a slight fear of not getting to see him this summer, considering the whole NHL-Star-Rookie-Thing. You and Luke had always had a weird thing going on, good friends, maybe slightly more but also...not?
 The youngest Hughes had never made a move on you, despite people telling you on multiple occasions that he "definitely has a thing for you" and that "it's obvious you like each other". And sure, you hadn't chanced your luck either, too worried about a possible rejection, that people were overanalyzing his feelings and it all would end up one awkward mess you would then have to navigate on top of your broken heart and bruised ego.
So, Luke and you stayed just friends until his inevitable departure to the big league, your daily coffee meetups now replaced by the occasional call or Facetime.
 Despite the inconsistent calls, your string of texts never seemed to waiver.
 Luke telling you about the smallest, seemingly insignificant, updates in his life, you complaining about school and the dad-joke competitions, all came together to silence the voice inside your head yelling at you that he'd forget you into nothing more than the faintest of whispers.
Nevertheless, it's nice to see him again, to hear his voice and his laugh, and to see his smile in real life and not through a tiny pixelated screen. The way you had fallen straight back into your old rhythm is nice too, if you're being honest.
Combined with the presence of your other most precious friends, the amazing weather and having the big lake house all to yourselves, you can't be happier about how great this summer is going.
Well, except for one teeny, tiny, insignificant thing: seeing him again made you realise your feelings for him hadn't disappeared one singular bit, as you have otherwise spent months trying to convince yourself and your friends off. Every touch, laugh, look into his eyes and comments from your friends about how "close the two of you look" disguised as friendly banter throws you off your game, making you nervous and self-conscious about how much your feelings are showing and if he notices. You're still debating with yourself if you want him to or not.
But that is also a lot of deep thoughts considering the time of the night, and as five minutes of laying wide awake turn into ten (mainly contemplating the pros and cons of getting up), you finally decide to do something about your predicament. You're hardly going to be able to fall back asleep now anyway, the dryness of your mouth combined with the constant quiet psst of the air slowly leaking out of the mattress beneath you and thoughts of your crush coming together in a lovely way of torture you like to call sleep deprivation.
Pushing the duvet aside and trying to make the least amount of noise as you rise, you decide to forgo the effort of putting any additional clothing on besides your oversized t-shirt and panties (because, really, who would be up at this hour?) and walk on your tippy toes towards the door. Slow, slow, slowly you turn the golden knob, freezing instantly when a loud click echoes throughout the otherwise dead silent room.
"Where are you going?" Jess mumbles, face pressed into her pillow, making the voice slightly incoherent.
"Water," you whisper back, hoping to not wake any of your other friends, could you help it. A brief pause leaves you wondering if Jess is even actually awake, but then her sheets rustle and she hums. After a few seconds, a mumble meant to sound like Bring me some comes from her general direction, your best friend no doubt already crossing back over the border to dreamland before the sentence is fully out. You nod in confirmation, not sure why considering she can't see you in the dark, and once more move slowly and quietly when opening the door.
The feeling of success from not waking anyone else doesn't last long, though, replaced by remorse of not at least finding some socks. Silently cursing the Hughes Brothers and trying not to yelp as your feet leave the warm fluffy comfort of the guest bedroom and are instead met by the cold hardwood floor of the hallway, you try to navigate your way to the kitchen through the still-unfamiliar house.
 Despite it being your second night here, the layout of the upstairs interior still confuses you, even more so in the dark, and it takes you a while longer than it would in daylight to find the correct staircase. Which, by the way, seems a ridiculous thing to even have. What house, what people need not one, not two, but three whole staircases? It's like those idiots (affectionate) want their guests to get lost.
 You're still grumbling about the absurd amount of staircases when you turn the corner into the huge eat-in kitchen, foregoing turning on the lights, and your faux annoyance only fueled by the water glasses of course having to reside in the top cabinet. The poor brothers receive a string of new curses.
Ever the problem solver, you swing one leg over the white marble counter, plant both hands on the cold stone, pray the limited hours in the gym working on your biceps could just be a little help, and count to three before hoisting yourself onto the counter. With it taking far more effort than you're proud of, your knees hit the marble, the wood of the beige cabinets scratching against your palms as they close around it for balance. So far so good.
 Despite a fair amount of wobbling, you manage to grab a glass, choosing the one looking most like it will help bring your ice-cold-water-chug-in-the-middle-of-the-night desires to life.
 "I was planning on asking if you need help, but this is far more amusing to watch," a voice brings you out of your deep concentration on your mission, startling you and having your neck turning so fast a whiplash almost sounds. Your mouth drops open, eyes going wide and cheeks heating up faster than the new induction stove your mom was recently raving about to you.
Because there Luke stands, not only proving your nonchalant dismissal of anyone being awake wrong but also making you incredibly aware of a few things you'd like to change at this very moment. Like the fact you're currently perched on top of not his, but his brothers' marble counter, gripping a glass like it's a precious painting stolen from a gallery. Or maybe like how his stare, amused and holding your own, ever so often dipping down a few inches, reminds you how you aren't wearing pants. With that realisation, you drop your arms, hoping the t-shirt is long enough to provide you with some sort of modesty. A sort of half-smirk paints his lovely face, eyes shining with amusement, as he leans against the archway into the kitchen.
Mouth opening and closing a few times, you try your best to come up with something witty, anything to not let it show how his mere presence in the room affects you - or how you feel a little guilty for sneaking around in the middle of the night, despite his instance of make yourselves at home!
"How long have you been standing there?" you land on instead.
 A hint of accusation laces your words like he's the one who should be ashamed in this situation.
Luke cocks his head to one side, sleep-riddled messy curls bouncing a little at the motion, drawing your attention to them and the way you would really, truly, like to run your fingers through them. They've grown to the perfect length since he sent you a picture of the fresh cut earlier this summer, still holding the mullet form but longer overall, only adding to his attractiveness.
 "Long enough to watch you calculate how to climb the counter," you jump at his words, not having noticed how he's slowly been stalking towards you, now across from you, leaning against the island parallel to the counter you still reside on. Crossing his arms over his chest, Luke carefully watches as you gently place the glass down next to you like this is the most intriguing yet amusing thing he's seen in a while. The remaining steps of the plan don't involve accidentally splintering a glass into tiny little pieces, so you're playing it safe, okay?
Deciding to ignore him, you focus on the next task at hand: getting off the counter. Or, at least turning around. You sorta manage to do it without much damage, the only victim a small pot with salt falling over after contact with your knee, leaving a trail of the white mineral on the blank surface.
"Not helping a damsel in distress isn't very gentlemanly of you," you say matter-of-factly once you've managed to manoeuvre around on the limited space, finally facing him without having to turn your neck in an uncomfortable direction.
 Luke simply shrugs at your words, his chain, one you gifted him, you realise with gleeful pleasure, catches in the moonlight shining through the window, in return making your breath catch in your throat. It has you questioning if he's been wearing it since Christmas when you gave it to him, or if he just recently thought to put it on. Maybe to make you think he enjoys the present, wearing it in your presence and all. Or perhaps, it's been a permanent fixture around his neck since the cold months?
 Could the silver jewellery be joining him at games? On road trips, in the shower, in his bed- electricity shoots through your mind as it wanders too far, conjuring up images of him in bed, but soon turning sour at the thought of him sharing those sheets. The green monster inside you jolts awake, clawing at its bars, begging to be let out and riot at the thought of him with another girl. Somehow, some way, you manage to silence it, throw on some extra locks and throw away the keys.
If Luke wants to sleep with other girls, he can. Now, that's a bitter pill to swallow, but nevertheless, the reality is that he can do anything he wants. After all, he isn't yours.
 He could be, Holden the Hope whispers, caressing your mind with lovely images of shared confessions of love, kisses of adoration and tangling in sheets.
 Don't let flowers bloom in the false spring, Reese the Realism scolds, burning the images with a snap of her fingers.
"You're not a damsel," he finally says, clearing his throat like the words hurt him to sound out. Molten eyes meet yours, so green and distracting that you don't even notice yourself leaning forward, less than a centimetre, but enough to make the fun little thing called gravity suddenly decide it wants to play. Fate, or maybe just pure clumsiness, seemingly joins in, giving you the final push, and before you know it, your arms are flailing, your body unable to stop the descent towards the floor.
Strong arms move quickly, engulfing your waist and bringing you to a stop, steadying you against the counter with the added press of a body against yours. "Just in distress then?" your voice comes out breathy and unsteady, craning your neck to look up at him, the closeness of your bodies rendering you unable to do anything else if you want to see the self-satisfied smirk on his face, obviously proud of his heroic action and quick reflexes (thank you, hockey).
 And you do, gosh do you want to stare at any and all expression he makes for the rest of his, and your, life. "You had it under control," he drawls, noticing your body shaking at the same time you do. His first instinct seems to be to tighten his arms around you, muscles twitching at the motion. You hope your peeking isn't noticeable.
Instead of thirsting over your friend's arms, you try to focus on not shaking (the near-fall may have shaken you a bit more than you'll willingly admit), grounding yourself in the feel of the cold tile beneath your feet, toes scrunching to limit the contact. On the other hand, you can't help basking in the way Luke's body seems ten degrees hotter than yours, engulfing your body and sending heat throughout it- okay, maybe that isn't the best thing to focus on either.
"Yeah, until I fell."  "Can't all be perfect."
A smile threatens to break free on your lips at the lighthearted banter returning to your conversation, willing you out of your Luke-induced haze and giving you enough strength to push him away with a soft palm flat in the square centre of his chest. Mentally, push him away, that is. Physically, it would have been impossible without his compliance.
A funny look flashes briefly across his sharp face, something looking a lot like disappointment, but the likelihood of you misjudging that is high. The mop of curls dances once more as he shakes his head, letting that gorgeous lopsided grin out of its box and completely disarming you. The executive board of directors in your brain forces you to look away.
"Why are you up, anyways?"
 The inquiry brings you back to your briefly forgotten quest, having you spring into action, hurriedly turning to locate the abandoned glass. Luke snickers at your eagerness but stays silent, awaiting your answer.
"Getting water, overthinking," you explain, keeping it vague, as you turn the tap to cold and wait for it to forget its previously warm preference. The stark sound of running water fills the otherwise quiet kitchen and even quieter house, and you internally wince, hoping it doesn't wake anyone up. You'd be lying if you said that hope doesn't stem from a bit of selfishness, quite like the way this little meet between Luke and you is panning out. Like a little pocket in time, it's almost as if anything goes, anything can be said and maybe, just maybe, anything can be done.
"You?" You interrupt him just before he opens his pouty mouth and asks just what you're overthinking exactly.
 So, maybe not everything can be said, you think, suddenly finding yourself not fully prepared to take the embarrassment of telling him he's a part of the whole not-sleeping thing.
Luke's eyes flicker away as you bring the now-filled glass to your lips, fixating on a spot above your head, suddenly very interested in the cabinet you have yet to close. A few seconds pass before he deems it safe to look at you once more (criteria? unknown) and answers your inquiry.
"Was wondering why a robber would be yelping each time they take a step down the hallway, needed to see I would have to defend the house," he teases, immediately bringing a pout to your face and getting you defensive. Placing the glass back down on the counter with a thump, you close the distance between you and press your pointer finger into the middle of his chest.
"Hey, you guys keep this house concerningly cold!"
 Luke catches your hand in his before your finger can do any more damage to his chest, all amusement flickering out of his eyes as quickly as a gust of wind passing by a fickle flame.
"Yeah..." he trails off, eyes moving downwards, like something's drawing his gaze in and he can't control it the moving of his pupils.
Suddenly, you find yourself acutely aware of the way your nipples have hardened from the low temperature, now straining against the thin material of your sleep shirt and you silently beg, plead and pray like a sinner about to enter hell, that he doesn't notice. Okay, who are you kidding here, he definitely does, he's practically making eye contact with them, but to his credit, though, it looks like he's trying really hard not to. Jaw clenching and unclenching, he almost manages to tear his eyes away each time he tries.
 Hopefully, he thinks it's just from the cold.
If you guys could stop standing attention just because he keeps looking, that would be great, you mentally scold, choosing not to dwell too hard on the fact that A) you're scolding your nipples and B) how Luke can't stop staring.
You decide it means nothing, part B, at least, (you should probably deal with the slightly concerning part A), because Luke is merely a boy and honestly, you should probably be concerned if he didn't stare. Yet, a tiny flicker of hope blooms in your chest, fueled even more so by the way he clears his throat a few too many times to be casual and lets go of your hand to drag his own over his face.
 Your wrist burns from where he held it, branded by him and his touch and god do you wish you could feel that brand everywhere.
Not sure where to go from here, you decide to put him out of his apparent misery and make light of the situation once more.
He almost beats you to talking, though, and your voices blend as you ask, "Well, you've established I'm not out to rob you. Going back to bed?" at the same time Luke asks "This my shirt?"
 You didn't realise it was his, or maybe you did and you didn't realise he would notice the plain fabric once belonging to him. You stole it way back at one of your first visits to his dorm.
"Don't think I can sleep now." "Yes."
Time stops and words seem to have different meanings, the lightheartedness you went for not having the desired effect, only adding to the tension slowly building between you, leaving the air hot and heavy. You're not sure what the change is this summer, and if your mind wasn't currently clouded and preoccupied with having him so close and looking at you like that, you'd probably reason your way into it being the fact you had been a part for months. Seeing him again has surely unlocked a part of your heart, the part wanting to throw caution to the wind and finally feel what it would be like to not be just friends. Seemingly, hopefully, a similar part has been unlocked in Luke's as well.
Summer being his best season didn't help your case either. Luke always looks more relaxed in the warmer months, healthier and more vibrant, the tan he so quickly manages to obtain has you wanting to lick him all over, the sun practically dripping from his skin and his curls, your favourite curls, looking their best. You never fail to notice his happiness in the off-season either. Sure, he loves hockey and he loves playing it all season, you know that, but he's also confessed to you on multiple occasions that the pressure gets to him, residing just under his skin like a rash never quite going away.
Here, at his brothers' lake house, surrounded by his favourite people, he laughs more, smiles more and reminds you more of the boy you knew in those very first few months of your college career. Summer Luke is the real Luke, your Luke and the Luke you so desperately want to pull close and kiss silly.
Yet, it's also the Luke in front of you now, confident and with all the power in his hand, as he, at once, brings you back to your previous question and both of your apparent dilemmas of not being able to sleep.
"I'd challenge you to a game of ping pong to get us tired, but you tend to get loud when you get worked up."
 White, hot flashes of embarrassment fill you up from the inside out, wondering if he's alluding to yesterday's weak moment of self-pleasure. You had allowed yourself it after seeing him shirtless on the boat wakeboarding, the motions making his hard abs twist and turn deliciously, droplets caressing his stomach and- "losing, I mean..." he clarifies, the smirk on his face making a return, hinting that he may or may not know exactly where your mind went just then. He had definitely heard.
Seemingly deciding to cut you some slack, Luke offers you an out. "What do you usually do when you can't sleep?"
 It doesn't help, not at all, because now you're thinking of your usual way of tiring yourself out, and that looks a lot like what he apparently heard you doing last night. The pink on your cheeks deepens to a healthy red and Luke no doubt notices, judging by the small grin appearing on his face. You huff out a nervous laugh, one that quickly dies out as a yawn stretches over Luke's face. He wipes it off, or at least tries to, by bringing a hand to his mouth. The motion makes his shirt rise the tiniest of bits, just as you open your mouth to speak.
"Usually I'll try to distract myself, try to get my brain to stop working overtime," you say, eyes finding a life of their own, drifting down to the peak of skin between his plaid pyjama pants and white t-shirt. That would make for a nice distraction.
"Are you still drunk?" your face scrunches up in confusion at his words, the change of subject catching you off guard. Turning your head, you search his face with narrowed eyes, trying to figure out his angle. "No, it wore off a few hours ag- oh," you cut yourself off as the counter hits the top of your ass, not even having noticed Luke backing you into it until he's right there. Caged in, you once more have to tilt your head to stare at his pretty face. The intense look he's giving you leaves you stumped, lips parting slightly- maybe in a silent invitation. At this point, your brain has switched off, his closeness and the way his cologne overpowers your senses leaving you completely at his mercy.
The little people in your head seem to have taken over your actions, leading you like a puppet on a string and you don't mind. Not when Luke moves his hand to rest on your hip and the other on the column of your throat and they allow him.
Not when they move your hands to rest on his broad chest, his heart pounding against your hands and letting you know he isn't as unaffected as he appears.
Not when he leans down and hovers over your lips and they don't make you pull away. Luke's hot breath mingles with yours and you can almost feel the way he's holding himself back, letting you decide if you want this. In the end, you regain control from your puppeteers, rising to your tiptoes, just that last bit needed, and meet Luke's soft lips.
It's like the restraint he's been having over himself snaps, the hand on your hip tightening and bringing you close, close, closer until he's got you completely caged between him and the counter. You get braver too, your fingers finding the curls you've been so desperate to touch. As you tug ever so slightly, Luke lets out a gasp and you can't help but use the opportunity to slide your tongue into his mouth.  
A thousand tiny explosions go off in your body, angels sing and the sun comes out behind the dark clouds. Too cheesy? Perhaps, but it’s like your world is clear again, your focus turning sharp and honing in on Luke, his touch (soft, urgent, guiding), his taste (mint, did he brush his teeth before coming down here?) and the delicious way his teeth are tugging on your lower lip.  “Been waiting…so…long,” breathy words tumble out through breathy kisses, Luke's confession spreading warmth throughout your whole body. Sure, you are putting two and two together just from the heavy make-out session you’re currently partaking in, but either way, it’s nice to know that it isn’t just you who has been harbouring the very same desire. 
Taking you by surprise, Luke grabs ahold of your shirt and in one swift motion lifts you onto the countertop so you’re both in a more comfortable position. His big hand slides up your thigh and under your shirt, stopping just over your panties. Hesitantly, Luke pulls away from your lips to look you in the eye, removing his other hand from your waist in favour of running it through his hair. The messy curls fall all over the place, even though he tries to shake them out, and you can’t help but grin at the fact that you messed them up.
Reaching behind you to rest his hand on the counter, effectively caging you in, Luke opens his mouth to no doubt ask for permission to move his hand higher. The words yes, god yes are on the tip of your tongue, but instead of sticking to the script, Luke yelps out instead. His eyes go wide, quickly shooting to his hand beside you before an annoyed expression overtakes his face.
"Salt," he mumbles into your lips, already on them again like he just can’t help himself. Reaching under your shirt, you guide his hand higher, silently letting him know it’s okay. Your whole body feels on fire with the way he’s touching you, thumb swiping over your underboob, goosebumps erupting in its wake. If you could stay like this forever, you would, with no hesitation. It feels like you’re sinking, deeper and deeper into the abyss that is Luke Hughes. The harness is off and you’re barrelling straight to the bottom with no regard for your safety. But that’s just the thing; you feel safe. So very safe with the way Luke is touching you, kissing you and wordlessly assuring you that he’s got you. Forever, if that’s the case.
Unfortunately, the universe isn’t a fan of forever. Or at least, it just has a very poor sense of humour. Because just as you’re about to spread your legs a little more, let Luke in a little closer, the kitchen door bangs open. Two drunk idiots, otherwise known as your friends, tumble inside, arms around each other holding on for dear life, one more gone than the other. You would later learn they had been out and about crashing all the nearby house parties.
“Dude, I so could have taken him- what the fUCK?” Mark screeches when he notices Luke and you, who just barely manage to tear your lips apart before Ethan straightens himself up and turns in your direction. 
And so a period of awkward silence and confused glances begins. Mark and Ethan are not quite sober enough to put the evidence presented before them together, their brows drawn together in funny angles. Mark lifts his hand and motions between you and the boy still pressed to you, now just with his back facing you. Probably to spare your friends from seeing you in just your panties, you realise and just like that, your heart turns to mush. You sneak your hands around his waist and prop your head up on his shoulder. Luke leans back into you, hands going to your knees, as he levels Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum with a warning look. 
Never one to let his friends off easy, though, Ethan flashes a megawatt grin before copying Mark’s actions.  “What’s going on here?” 
“Late night snack.” “Luke had something in his eye.”
Silence. Luke’s hands squeeze your knees, you press your eyes closed. Surely they would catch on.
Then, a slow nod from a contemplative-looking Mark and a slap to Ethan’s chest as the blonde’s too-talkative mouth starts to open once more. “Sure, have a good night, guys!” Mark rushes out, a firm hand on Ethan’s shoulder guiding his friend out of the kitchen and up the stairs to their room. There’s no way Mark believed that lie (your suspicions would later be confirmed when you walk past their room and hear him explain how it “would make no sense since the lights were off”) but as Luke lets out a deep sigh and turns around, you can’t find it in you to care. 
The second he’s fully facing you again, his hands come up to rest on either side of your head, pressing a soft, much sweeter and slower, kiss to your awaiting lips. As he pulls back, a different Luke stands before you, all traces of his previous confidence leaving him, nervousness taking over as he brings a hand up to the back of his neck. Your favourite crooked smile returns, but this time filled with awkwardness and uncertainty. 
“Would you, um- Would you want to go out with me? Tomorrow, maybe? Or later today, I guess, considering the time and all-”
“Yes, god yes,” You say, finally getting the chance to voice the words, immediately getting flashbacks to a mere ten minutes ago when they had been on the tip of your tongue and his hand had been under your shirt. At your agreement, confident Luke returns, not wasting any time before he’s diving back in for your lips.
Half an hour later, you’re standing in your bedroom, leaning up against the door. Touching your fingers to your lips, no doubt a dazed expression on your face, you will your heart to stop galloping like a thousand wild horses. Maybe, if you pinched yourself- nope that just hurt. Luke kissing you in the kitchen hadn’t been a dream and neither had it been when he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, and then your forehead, only a mere minutes ago. You had said goodnight with the promise of seeing him when you’re both well rested. When you asked him about the upcoming date, he only smiled and told you it was a surprise. You do not doubt that the speculation will keep you up for at least another few hours. Or perhaps that will have more to do with you replaying every kiss and touch over and over in your head.
“Did you get me water?” A voice croaks out in the darkness, duvets and sheets shifting loudly in the silence. Water, Jess. You had completely forgotten. 
"Shit, I’ll be right back," you promise, this time determined not to get swept up in stolen kisses.
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sunnyaelia · 2 days
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Anger and Regret
okay last one and I promise the next thing I post will be something freshly written again!!
request was this:
angst hurt/comfort request from tonight’s west ham game to cheer us up? 🙃 where reader and leah have been dating for some time but long distance, then reader just recently transferred to west ham and in the game against each other reader scored a hat trick putting west ham in the lead but leah is so angry (mostly cause it was her first time in the starting line up and she was disappointed) and she takes it out on the reader and reader is so sad cause she just wants her gf to be proud of her 🙃
Angst, comfort and happy ending all in one
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Leah was fuming, having had to helplessly watch from the sideline as West Ham tore them a new one in the second half. She had been feeling proud at Alessias goal that gave them the lead. So as she got taken off the pitch at half time she was slightly relaxing. That quickly changed when you got put on - her girlfriend and one of the newest signings for WestHam, along with Kristie.
Both of you had switched from the US teams to the WSL for your partners and were therefore quite close. You were good, easily getting offers from Arsenal when you announced your departure from your old club - but Arsenal was stacked when it came to attacking players and therefore you had chosen West Ham instead, not wanting to rot on the bench. Leah hadn’t been too happy at your choice though she accepted it of course and she couldn’t deny that you really brought some new drive into the club, your goals enough to keep the team far away from the threatened relegation. Your girlfriend had been unbelievably proud to see it - now though, she was less amused when you kept banging goal after goal into the net, right past Manus fingertips.
The genuinely impressed comment from Beth at your hat trick when it was 3:1 for WestHam at the end of the game did nothing to improve Leah’s mood in the slightest, incredibly upset with herself for not getting this absolutely crucial win. 
So, when later on in the tunnel you grabbed your girlfriends wrist wanting to both comfort her and also see her reaction at your hat trick, she pulled her hand back like she’d been burned. You were surprised at her next words, used to Leah being extremely competitive but usually she would just sulk and not get outright mean. 
“Came to gloat?” 
A frown on your face you tried to reach out for her hand again, only to be rejected once more as she took a step back.
“I didn’t want to gloat, I just wanted to check on you Leah.” 
“Yeah, well, I don’t need your pity.” 
Feeling the sting at how cold your girlfriend sounded you tried to remind yourself that she was a really sore loser and you had known that when you started dating her. This was nothing personal. 
“Leah come on, we aren’t threatening you that much, it’s just special that we were fighting for relegation and now we beat someone who’s in the top 3.” 
“Half our team has just recovered from an acl, it’s really not that special.” Leah’s voice had a bite in it that you really weren’t used to, your girlfriend usually super sweet and especially super proud whenever you’d score. 
You bit your lip, trying not to say anything to upset her further and nodded, eyes on the ground. 
When Leah didn’t say anything else you sighed, realising that it’d probably be better to go and celebrate with your teammates, Leah was definitively not in the mood to talk to you. “Guess I’ll see you later Leah.” 
She barely hummed and you tried to suppress your tears as you quickly walked to the bathroom, not wanting to break down in front of your new team. You had hoped that Leah would just concentrate on the fact that you had scored - a hat trick as well - and wouldn’t focus on you beating her beloved team. Seemed like she just couldn’t do that right now. 
Thankfully you managed to calm down enough that you could keep yourself from actually crying, definitely not willing to talk about the fight and your girlfriend’s treatment of you right now to anyone who would ask about your tears.
Walking into the changing room Kristie was one of the first ones to jump on you, nearly taking you to the ground. Everyone was talking excitedly, happy about beating Arsenal and now taking the ninth place and even though you were still disappointed and sad at how Leah had reacted, you made sure to put on a smile, not wanting to grab anyone’s attention.
Thankfully nobody had the time to celebrate since training was starting up again tomorrow and you were all exhausted, so you didn’t have to put on a happy face for too long, getting taken to your and Leah’s shared apartment by Kristie who wanted to visit Sam now anyway. 
You were glad when you were finally alone, Leah apparently not home yet. You took a shower and then just let it out, sobbing into your pillow. Sad about how the day had went, sad that you and Leah weren’t on the same team and were therefore not rooting for the same one, sad that Leah wasn’t able to just put the rivalry aside for once and be happy for you and sad that you scored a hat trick and instead of being happy it was now overshadowed by your girlfriends reaction. 
Meanwhile Leah was still in the changing room, having taken an eternity to shower and get changed and now slowly putting her last stuff in her bag. 
“Oi.” Katie appeared, having watched the game from the sidelines because of her last yellow card. “Where’s the missus?” 
“With her team.”
Katie didn’t seem to notice that something was up, happily continuing to chat. 
“Ya know, I’d be so proud if that was my girlfriend. Really signed someone good there. Sucks for us of course but at least now they should be save from relegation.” She opened the door and took a playful bow as Leah just marched through, wanting to get home and be alone finally. 
Leah was silently walking next to her as Katie continued to blabber, a bit lost in her own thoughts. 
Katie’s next words pulled her out it: “I’m happy you took it well.” She gave her a pat on the shoulder. “She moved here just for you, it’s nice that you two can healthily deal with one person winning and one person losing.” 
With that she bid her goodbye and was gone. 
As Leah sat in her car, the 20 minute drive home had her overthinking her earlier actions. If only Katie knew that she hadn’t put the rivalry aside at all. She had been quite mean about it too, cringing internally at how she had used the acls as an excuse. Speeding up slightly, she prayed that you would be home and hadn’t gone out with the team, wanting to apologise for her behaviour. 
You were indeed home, she discovered. But you were asleep, laying in your shared bed, a few tissues laying around and your eyes swollen, some tear tracks still visible on your face. Leah’s heart broke at the sight, feeling terrible at how she had treated you. 
So, determined to make it right once you woke up, she hopped right back into her car and to the flower shop, getting you a big bouquet. She also got your favourite ice cream and some food for breakfast tomorrow, knowing that she couldn’t cook to save her life but also not wanting you to do it after she had already ruined your day. 
Back home she checked on you quickly who was still laying there and sleeping peacefully. Leah removed the tissues around you and then placed water and an ibuprofen on the nightstand. You always got terrible headaches from crying and it looked like you’d been crying a lot so you’d probably need it. She had also placed two cooling pads in the fridge, knowing that you’d be annoyed at how swollen your eyes would be the next day. 
She was very careful when she finally slipped into bed next to you, the flowers in a vase on the table along with the plates already set for breakfast tomorrow. Gently,  so you wouldn’t wake up, she pulled you into her arms, giving your still stained cheeks a soft kiss before drifting off as well. 
The next morning your head was pounding, sitting up with a groan at the pain. You were surprised to find the water and pill on your nightstand, smiling softly at the sight of Leah with very messy hair next to you, glad that she had come home and apparently forgiven you for making Arsenal lose. 
You quietly got up and went to the bathroom, ready to assess the damage that the tears had caused. It was truly awful, you had cried on and off for a few hours, just letting the whole stress of this season out and the result was incredibly swollen eyes that still had a red rim along with blotchy skin.
You sighed, deciding to wash your face with cold water and then carefully dried it with a towel. Since your view was obstructed you nearly jumped a feet in the air when Leah’s hands suddenly wrapped around you from behind, pressing herself into you. 
Slowly lowering the towel from your eyes you met Leah’s in the mirror, her stomach turning at just how clear it was that you’d been crying. 
She buried herself into your neck, glad that you let her. 
“I’m really sorry for my behaviour, I truly have no excuse. And I’m terribly sorry that I made you cry, I really didn’t mean to.” 
Heart softening quickly at her words muffled into the embrace you leaned back into her more, twisting your neck so you could give her a kiss. 
“It’s alright. Just don’t let the rivalry get to your head next time, yeah?” 
Leah nodded though it looked like she was holding something back so with a slight furrow of your brows you turned in her arms and gently grabbed her face so she’d look at you. 
“What’s wrong?” 
Leah swallowed hard, eyes still avoiding looking at you while she spoke. 
“It wasn’t really about the rivalry, I just.. I’ve just come back from my acl and it already feels like all the pressure is on me. I see how people talk about Putellas and how she’s lost her touch after her acl and just isn’t that good anymore and I’m terrified that people are going to say this about me. It’s the first game that I’ve started in as captain since the injury and I just wanted to be good.” 
You frowned at her words. Your girlfriend was always quite hard on herself but you hadn’t realised just how bad it was. Gently pulling her into a hug, you tried to comfort her by rubbing her back before pulling away and answering her. 
“There’s always going to be someone who thinks you should have done better. Nobody who actually plays football and especially nobody who has ever done their acl will blame you for yesterday. It went great in the first half, you had the 1:0 lead and then you got subbed off and suddenly we were winning. That seems more like they shouldn’t have taken you off.” Leah chuckled at your words, feeling a lot lighter now that she had told you that she was scared. 
You gave her another hug, tightly squeezing her. 
“What someone online says really doesn’t matter. You need to stop looking at that stuff.” 
Leah nodded in agreement, taking a deep breath, relieved that it was out and relieved that you were not mad at her apparently. 
You stepped back slightly and offered her a hand: “Come on, I need an ice pack for my eyes and then I’ll make you breakfast.” 
Leah grinned before grabbing you around your waist and carrying you downstairs, ignoring you protesting and trying to squirm out of her grip, forever annoyed that your girlfriend could just easily take you wherever which she loved to do simply to get on your nerves. 
Placing you right in front of the fridge, she opened it, pulling out the almost done breakfast she would just have to reheat and the two ice packs for your eyes she had already put in yesterday for you. You smiled at her, softening at how your girlfriend had already known what you would need now. 
Your smile widened when she showed you the ice cream and then the already set table with the flowers on it, pulling her into a deep kiss as a thank you. 
Leah pulled away first, slightly breathless. “I’m sorry again. I’ll do better next time, I promise.” 
You nodded, though you couldn’t resist teasing her a bit: 
“Next time I beat your ass again?”
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phatcatphergus · 2 days
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I have to say, I am genuinely so proud of Tubbo and everything he’s done with my whole heart.
It’s been absolutely amazing watching him grow as a creator and a person. Even though this subathon isn’t over, I can’t help but be in awe of what he’s created and done so far. Every single show event and planned activity has been amazing to watch, and you can feel the passion that comes from them. Even beyond the shows, every single stream you can feel the passion and love that Tubbo has for streaming and his community. 
Even when he’s just coming in to chat or hang out with us, you can feel the care and drive he has for streaming in his community.  every single event has been more amazing than the last, the way he improves and fine-tunes every stream feels like it can’t get any better until the next one airs and is even better then the last. He never stops, pushing the bounds of what can be accomplished through streaming. Every single show blows me away and every idea he spitballs to us makes me even more in awe at what he can accomplish.
Watching both him, and his career grow has genuinely brought me so much joy and amazement. I believe every single one of his friends when they talk about how amazing and kind he is in real life. Someone so passionate to make the best for people he doesn’t even know, can only be a generous and kind soul in his every day life. He gives and gives and gives and rarely ever takes. I am genuinely in awe at how humble and compassionate he always is to everyone he meets, even if it’s a fan who he meets for 3 seconds on the street. Even beyond his personal relationships, he’s always giving back to his community and those in need. From raising A quarter of one million from his technodad stream to donating his entire revenue for a week for Gaza aid, he will always use his platform to uplift and help those who need it.
He’s accomplished so much in just a few years of streaming, and I am genuinely proud to call him my streamer.
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bg-brainrot · 5 hours
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More than Vampiric Charms (Astarion x Tav)
Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav
Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here
Summary: After some banter between Astarion and Jaheira goes too far, you (Tav) take some time to remind Astarion that he is so much more than a pair of fangs.
Tags: POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Comfort, Vampire Spawn Astarion, set in Act 3, Astarion is Bad at Feelings, Blood, Blood Drunk, blood as a coping mechanism
A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted for this banter in my last poll! This was a fun one c:
Word count: ~3.2k
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Walking through the streets of Baldur's Gate is always an adventure with your group– a particularly fraught adventure on this day, as Jaheira and Astarion seem hellsbent on trading barbs.
It had started out playfully enough, with a snide remark from Astarion, "Oh that building used to be a delightful little sweets shop about a hundred years ago. Though I suppose the crone would remember that, wouldn’t she?”
Jaheira, used to remarks about her age, often being the one to start them, was ready with a quick quip back, “Was that before or after your hair turned gray? With my old age, I can never remember.”
Astarion visibility bit back a remark about this being his natural hair color when you glared back at both of them. “Could we focus a bit please? You two can reminisce after we’ve seen to this latest bloody basement.”
One trail of blood, a disgusting array of corpses, and a piece of clown later and the two of them were at it again.
“Jaheira,” Astarion had started in a light tone– a clear indicator that he had no intent to focus. “Have you considered taking on the role of Dribbles the clown yourself? The makeup might help cover all those pesky wrinkles.”
The druid had snickered, appreciating the comment, and shot back, “I think you would be better suited to the role, given you are already a fool.”
That time, Karlach had interrupted, “Don’t either of you dare! No one could replace this Baldurian hero.”
“Which is exactly why we’re helping to piece him back together,” you’d confirmed with a nod. “Besides, you’re both cranky enough to make the children weep.”
“Darling!” Astarion had gasped, an offended hand on his chest. “How could you say that about me?”
You’d ignored his question, instead choosing to deposit a quick kiss on his pursed lips. A soft, effective bandaid that left the man with crossed arms and a reluctant smile. 
Moments later, you were ushering the group out of the building and into the city. Insults forgotten, everyone began trudging the familiar path back to the Elfsong to clean up.
Now, along this very path, you hear Jaheira strike up a new conversation with Astarion– one that has your ears perking up, even as you continue to lead the way ahead.
“It seems that you and our leader are closer than ever,” the woman observes, a smile in her voice.
There’s a moment of silence, and you can practically see Astarion’s suspicious expression in your mind’s eye as he assesses the situation. “Yes, you could say that,” he finally replies. “What can I say? I am, after all, quite charming.”
“I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion.” A short, thoughtful pause follows before she asks, “It is, isn’t it?”
“Of course,” Astarion responds, his voice reaching a comically high pitch– one that almost makes you laugh. You want to hear this conversation more than most though, so not a sound escapes your lips. The vampire scoffs before he continues. "Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?"
There’s a clear hesitation as Astarion’s words hang in the air.
You wonder why Jaheira isn’t responding, what her expression must be– but before you can turn around to find out more, Astarion is speaking again.
“If you insist on prying,” he starts, clearing his throat a bit pointedly. “Perhaps you’d care to join us. And see how much we enjoy one another.”
The insinuation in his tone is almost enough to have you spinning around– teasing Karlach or Shadowheart is one thing, but Jaheira? Gods, you can feel the heat rising up your neck– “Why?” Jaheira snaps back. “Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?”
“I’m sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself,” Astarion replies, mirth shining through in his tone.
Wait, is he actually inviting her?
You know you need to stop this conversation before it mortifies you any further. “Stop it, both of you!” you say, turning your head back, trying your best to keep a stern, not-at-all embarrassed expression on your face. “We don’t need the next installment of ‘Love at First Knife’ getting any more convoluted.”
There’s some grumbling from Astarion, an amused smile from Jaheira, and a chortle from Karlach, but otherwise your group makes it back to the Elfsong without tearing each other– or their clothes– apart.
__
That evening, Astarion slips away.
It’s not an unusual occurrence– some days his hunger is harder to ignore than others, on some you hadn’t found nearly enough evil to suck dry. Ultimately, he never wanted to take too much blood from you, so he chooses to forage as he has taken to calling it.
As a result, you think nothing of it at first, settling into bed after dinner with a book propped between your hands. After all, Cazador is dead, and Astarion is more than capable of taking down some of the most fearsome enemies in the city– he should take all the time he needs to himself.
But the hours pass, and Astarion has yet to return. The candles around you begin to dwindle, words begin to swim on a page you haven’t turned in quite some time, and sleep slowly but surely starts to drag your eyelids down.
It has almost claimed you when the door to your shared room at the Elfsong slams shut. You hear groans from around the room as those who were similarly drifting off to bed are shocked awake, everyone expecting yet another unwelcome visitor. You almost don’t have time to react before an armor-clad vampire lands atop of you.
You do react though, instinctively striking at the man with the spine of your book, a loud ‘thwack’ letting you know that your contact was true.
“Oof,” Astarion mutters, now fully splayed across your torso like a stretching cat. “Darling, must you be so violent?”
“Astarion?” you ask, putting down your book, shaking off the beginning throes of sleep as you realize what’s transpired. “Weapons down everyone, it’s Astarion.”
After a few affirmative grumbles from around the room, you turn your attention back to the vampire, “Are you alright? Did you get injured?”
“Mmm,” he murmurs, burying his face in your blanket, and rubbing at the spot where you’d hit him. “Nothing's the matter. Everything is perfectly dandy.”
His words slur though and something seems to be amiss. His movements are fluid, his body weight is completely and utterly relaxed onto you.
Almost as if…
“Are you… drunk?” you haven’t seen him like this since the bear he drank near the grove. When you’d asked him the question then, he’d shrugged it off– but it was certainly the closest to drunk you’d ever seen him.
“Not strictly speaking, no…” he drolls, tilting his head slightly to stare at you with one eye. His cheeks are flushed, a telltale sign of his recent feeding, and his eye is glazed over, its blissful sheen telling you all that you need to know.
“Have a good dinner, did you?” you ask, smiling down at him wearily. You can hardly fault him for indulging, especially after the couple of weeks you’ve had.
He chuckles, his one visible eye crinkling a bit. “Oh yes. A rather large bugbear. Hardly knew what bit him.”
You run a hand through Astarion’s hair, and respond, “Well done, my sweet, bloodthirsty vampire.”
Normally, such sweet words of unabashed ​​flattery would elicit a smile, a laugh, maybe even a kiss– but tonight Astarion freezes under your touch, his eye going wide before he tucks his face back into the bedding.
“Astarion?” you ask, your previous worry about injury now promptly replaced by a worry of a much deeper hurt.
“It’s nothing,” he mutters, voice sounding distant.
You scratch at his scalp, a bit, trying to encourage him back toward you. “Love, you know you’re a terrible liar. What’s wrong?”
He gives a soft, annoyed huff– an endearing, drunken noise were it not for the fact that he seems determined not to look at you. And continue to crush you with the full weight of his body.
“Astarion,” you say again, with a bit more emphasis, shaking his head a little with your next scratch. “If nothing is truly wrong, I will wake up Karlach. You know she would love to see you in this state.” As if to punctuate your point, a snore sounds from a few beds over, where you know the barbarian slumbers.
“Please don’t,” he murmurs, finally turning around to look at you fully.
You’re surprised to see his eyebrows furrowed, his lips turned down in a truly melancholy frown– always an expressive man, it seems that Astarion’s intoxicated demeanor is twice as exaggerated. Cute, you think. But also concerning. “Love,” you whisper, running a hand along his face. “Talk to me.”
Astarion hesitates, his watery eyes wincing as he debates his next words. Those same red eyes show an unexpected amount of vulnerability– all that bugbear blood is keeping his expression open, his entire face a rosy hue. His mouth opens, closes, his body shifts, and he fumbles with the latches on his armor as he thinks. You simply lay there, playing with his curls until he’s ready.
When he finally speaks, his words take you by surprise.
“You don’t just like me because I’m a vampire… do you?”
“What?” you ask, eyebrows raising in disbelief. Surely, you misheard him.
“You know,” he continues, waving a hand about the air. “My vampiric charms. The fangs. The blood sucking. The mysterious allure?”
“Why in the nine hells would you think that?” You reach a hand out to grab his, tugging on it gently to try to get him to sit up.
Astarion’s eyes drift away from you, but he does sit up, legs draping over your stomach. “Just… because of something Jaheira said.”
Oh. The conversation you’d been eavesdropping on.
“Do you mean what she said earlier? On our way back to the Elfsong?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Well, yes,” he mutters, still not looking at you. “Though I can’t help but notice you haven’t answered my question…”
“Astarion,” you start, releasing his hand, only to place it on the slightly flushed skin of his cheek. “No, I do not only like you because you’re a vampire.” Your words are firm, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
His eyes meet yours again, and still you can see so much doubt, so much unmitigated fear. “Are you certain? You truly do seem to enjoy it when I bite you.”
“Well, that’s true,” you admit with a small wince. It does feel rather… good when he bites you, it would be a lie to say otherwise and, besides, you’ve told him as much before. “But that’s not why I like you, you fool.”
Astarion’s bottom lip slips into a small pout and he moves away from your hand. “You’re not very convincing, you know? Especially when you call me a fool.”
You scooch out a bit from under him, leaving your legs under his. With all of the severity in the world, you reply, “If it makes you feel better, I’m a fool too.”
“You are?” he asks, curious despite himself– easily falling for your little trap.
“A fool for you.”
The noise that escapes him is half groan, half chuckle, and his mouth pulls into a lopsided little smile that you’re not certain you would have earned were he not a bit blooddrunk. “Gods, how the hells did I fall for you?”
“Now you’re asking the right questions,” you respond with a smirk on your face. When you place a hand on his knee, the smirk turns into a small smile. “But I’m being genuine– I don’t like you because you’re a vampire. And before you ask, I don’t love you because of your vampirism either.”
He gives a small huff. “Well, Jaheira made it sound as if there wasn’t much else to care for.” An uncharacteristic admittance from him– normally he would brush off such a statement with a proud declaration of how phenomenal he is. But it seems that Jaheira’s words cut deep– and that blood has loosened his lips.
“Jaheira, despite all of her many, many years of experience–” you enjoy the full laugh that elicits. “simply doesn’t have my refined taste. There are so many reasons to like you, love. In fact, vampirism doesn’t even make the list.”
“Oh, you’re keeping track, are you?” he asks, folding his arms and body over his legs and smiling up at you.
“Maybe,” you murmur, leaning forward toward him. “Would you like a sampling of reasons?”
The look he gives you then is hopeful, but more than a little dread slips through in his shining red eyes. When he answers, his voice is barely above a whisper. “Only if you mean them.”
This withdrawn, unsure Astarion isn’t a common sight to you, but, like every other facet of the man before you, he’s no less lovable. So you lean forward, placing a kiss on his pale forehead, and say, “I mean them with my whole heart.”
“Then… I suppose I ought to be lavished with them," he murmurs, and you spot the blush intensifying over his cheeks, now also coloring his ears.
Coupled with his fluid, inebriated state, his heart laid bare before you, you want to scream the reasons from the roof of the Elfsong, if only for him to believe you. But, as it is, the soft snores of your companions keep your voice hushed, your face close to his as you begin.
“Let’s see… should I start with the first thing that stood out to me?”
He hums in agreement, and closes his eyes, as if preparing to listen to the sweetest tune known to the entirety of Faerun.
“Well, it started with your first lie, I think,” you start.
Astarion gives a disapproving groan, but doesn’t open his eyes.
“My dear, you said you said you had a ‘brain thing’ cornered– I hope you know the smile on my face wasn’t from confidence,” you say with a new, fond smile at the memory. “I just knew from that moment on, you didn’t much care for what others thought of you, as long as your goals were met. A kindred spirit. Or so you said that day.”
At that, he reopens his eyes. “That’s not true.”
“We’re not kindred spirits?” you ask, an unexpected tinge of hurt blooming in your chest.
“That’s true,” he says, balming the hurt quickly. “It’s not true that I don’t care what others think of me. I do. Well, maybe not everyone.” His eyes dart toward Gale’s bed and you stifle a snicker. “But I certainly care what you think of me.”
You look into his crimson eyes, a bit clearer now than when you began talking– the blood seems to be working its way through his system. His words come from a place of honesty, not a lack of inhibition.
“Then, let me assure you here and now,” you murmur, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I think–” Another quick peck on his lips. “you’re the funniest–” A kiss to his nose. “the most deft–” A brush of lips against his temple. “creative, endearing, brave–” Each word comes with a kiss along his jaw. “man I’ve ever met.”
Astarion’s eyes look at you, his face still for a moment as he considers your words. When he finally speaks, it’s a quiet, choked up question, “Oh, is that it?”
“Would you like me to keep going?” you ask, lips perched just above his eyebrow, ready for another round.
He shakes his head ever so slightly. “No– no need or you’ll be here all night, surely,” he says, posturing as best as he can while still looking at you with fearful eyes. Almost as if your candid praise is simply too much for him to bear.
It may be too much, and you’re not one to push it.
“Very well,” you say, pulling back. “But I didn’t even get to how good you look covered in blood…”
The man gives a light laugh at that, some of his nerves melting before praise he understands– his appearance is a source of comfort, one that brings him back to himself. “Oooh yes, I do look dashing in red, don’t I?” he purrs, a content smile forming on his face.
“That you do,” you assure, with your own warm look. You wish he would accept all praise this easily, but you suppose this is all you can do for now.
So little of what matters to you is his vampirism, his looks… but for a man like Astarion, for whom a kind word felt like a double-edged blade for two centuries? Well, you’re reminded that regardless of how many times you may tell him, whether now when he’s a bit fuzzy around the edges or when you’re in your cups, he may never truly believe you.
No matter, you suppose. I’ll simply keep finding new ways to show him how much I care for him…
“So Jaheira was kidding, right?” Astarion asks, sitting up and finally beginning to remove his leathers.
You nod, moving to help him remove his greaves. “Naturally. I thought you’d been enjoying the conversation, actually.”
“I had been,” he replies, thoughtfully. “But the more I remembered how sinfully you shiver under my fangs…”
He’s dodging before you can so much as flick his ear. “Excuse you. Is that any way to treat your most reliable source of sustenance?”
Astarion smirks as he leans away from you in the bed. “Oh darling, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. After all, you can’t help it.”
“Astarion–”
“Ehem!” You hear from somewhere behind you. It’s followed shortly by Shadowheart’s annoyed voice, “Would the two of you please keep it down? Some of us are trying to rest.”
If by ‘rest’ she means ‘reach the end of her copper novel’, then you suppose she’s right. Either way, you whisper back, “Sorry, I was defending my dignity.”
“What dignity?” she murmurs back. “And in case you’re wondering, you’re both utter fools.”
Oh great, she’d heard everything.
“Shadowheart, were you eavesdropping?” Astarion asks, crawling over you to glare at her from the edge of your bed. He’s half-dressed and still somewhat out of sorts, so you just lean back against the pillows and accept your fate.
“Is it really eavesdropping if I can hear it all clearly?” the cleric says, and you hear her book snap shut. “Besides, Astarion, if you really needed someone to reassure you, you should have asked me.”
“You?” he asks, incredulously. “And why should I ask you?”
“Because,” she starts, and you can hear her wicked smile in her tone. “I can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that there’s no such thing as ‘vampiric charm.’ I’ve never felt less charmed in my entire life.”
You can sense Astarion is just about ready to light Shadowheart’s hair on fire, so you tug him back down from the divide. “Thank you for that clarification, Shadowheart,” you call, biting back a laugh. “And I’m starting to realize none of us really have private conversations, do we?”
“No, we do not,” you hear Gale reply from a few beds away.
With that, Astarion gives an exasperated sigh and the two of you finish removing his armor in silence.  When you’re both finally ready for bed and you whisper to him, “Goodnight.” Shadowheart, Gale, and Wyll all respond, “Goodnight!”
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reverie-starlight · 3 days
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jk I watched one of my favourite keigo edits on insta and I got inspired. happy birthday 2 me 🫶🏻 (the main fic I was working on is still coming, but idk when exactly 🥹)
fem!reader, no physical descriptions. pure birthday fluff with tiny little minuscule amounts of angst sprinkled in bc. well. it’s a birthday. I’m sick for my 20th, so reader is too 😔
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you wake up to the sound of squeaky bedroom door hinges and a quiet but still enthusiastic rendition of happy birthday.
barely awake but just alert enough to realize what’s going on, you smile and turn over on your side to face keigo. he walks in slowly with a large bag around his wrist and a cupcake with slightly squished frosting in his palms.
he sits on his designated side of the bed (the one closer to the door since he insists on being your hero at all hours of the day) and waits for you to sit up against the headboard before sticking a candle into the dessert and lighting it for you.
“make a wish, baby,” he says. with how dark the room still is in the early morning, his face is lit up from the soft glow of the flame. warmth settles in your stomach as you watch the flickering reflection in his eyes and you can only think of one thing worth wishing for.
please let this last forever. don’t let me mess it up.
you blow out the candle and he cheers, moving to sit right next to you against the headboard. you lean your head on his shoulder and he happily feeds you pieces of cupcake, feathers working overtime trying to catch all of the crumbs before they reach the bed.
when you finish chewing a piece, he says, “how are you feeling?”
you shrug. “okay today, I think. better than yesterday, for sure- I feel like I can breathe again.”
you don’t miss how he winces at your voice, definitely less congested than the last few days, but sounding even more rough from lack of use overnight. you try to clear your throat, but it turns into a coughing fit. “drink some water, angel, don’t strain yourself.”
the stream of water soothes the itch and you sigh in relief. keigo, not phased one bit by your sickness, kisses your cheek, your nose, and then your lips. “I’m sorry you’re sick on your birthday, sweet girl.”
you shrug and try to play off how his nicknames are affecting you so early in the morning. “it’s okay, keigo, it could be a lot worse. a cold on my birthday isn’t the end of the world.”
his eyes soften. “yeah, but I know you were feeling more hopeful about things this year… it’s not often you get like that about your birthday, so I just wish the universe was on the same wavelength as us about that.”
you look down at your lap and pick at a loose string on the comforter. he must see your lips wobbling, because he slings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer.
it’s quiet for a second, but soon enough you’re sniffling in his arms and he knows it’s not your cold acting up.
“it’s okay, sweetheart, let it out.”
he understands birthdays are hard for you. he’s never pried into it, but he has his suspicions.
he could push, but he knows that your issues with your own birthday are far too deep-rooted to unpack in one morning before work. he’ll save it for a later date. right now all he wants is to see you smile again, so he’ll have to distract you from your thoughts.
“baby, you deserve the whole world. you know that, right?”
you shake your head. “I don’t, though. I don’t do anything deserving of what I’ve gotten so far… I don’t work hard enough, I don’t always make the best decisions for myself, I guess I’m a good person, but I could do so much better… I’m just so average. I barely even deserve-“
you end your rant with a half-hearted gesture in no particular direction, but he gets the idea and he frowns in concern.
“me? you don’t think you deserve…me?”
guilt keeps you from meeting his gaze again and he sighs.
his angel, his baby, the love of his life. the one. he just wants to take it all away.
you take things to heart too easily sometimes, so this moment might just be things you’ve let bubble up more recently… but his instinct and familiarity both tell him that these aren’t new feelings.
“sweet girl, I think it’s the other way around. I don’t think I’m very deserving of someone as incredible as you.”
you blink and finally meet his eyes again. “but…”
he doesn’t let you continue. “I would give you anything you asked for just for existing, baby. you don’t have to do a damn thing for my love.”
reaching over to grab the bag he had around his wrist earlier, he presents it to you with a wide grin and an excited glint in his eyes. “but I’ll start with this.”
you take the bag and pull out what looks like a scrapbook. the cover is decorated with foam stickers that spell out both of your names and badly cut paper hearts that look to be taken from sparkly card-stock. the book itself is made from faux-leather in your favourite colour.
your eyes travel up from the photo album to keigo, curiously. he’s happy to see a small smile forming on your face and he wipes away the last of your tears with a feather. “keigo, did you-“
he chuckles a little nervously. “I know it’s not the best work you’ve ever seen, but I wanted to make something by hand for you. I, um, I’ve never really done arts and crafts before.”
he recognizes the sound that comes out of your mouth to be the same one you make when you see a stray animal. he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not, but the smile on your face as you examine each page (twenty pages total, all hand decorated with printed pictures of you both documenting significant moments over the course of your relationship) makes him think the latter.
“I have other gifts for you, of course, but I know you’ve been talking about having a physical photo album instead of a digital one for a while now, so I thought I’d try it. If you don’t like it, that’s totally okay we can-“
you cut him off by throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him. “keigo, shut up, this is the sweetest gift I’ve ever received. there are songs associated with every picture. you’re literally so cute, where did you even get the idea for that?”
he laughs against your lips when you say that and shakes his head. “you’re joking, right? you always have a song for every occasion, how could I pass up on the opportunity?”
you press your lips against his again and he melts into it, relived that you like his first (of many) gift.
he watches you flip through it a couple more times with a smile before taking it and placing it on the nightstand. “alright, birthday girl, you can go back to sleep if you’d like.”
“you’re going to work?” you try to keep the disappointment out of your voice, but he hears it anyway and he’s so happy he planned for this.
“nope! I’m all yours today. I booked it off months ago, I just want you to rest up a bit more. you’re still sick, remember?”
he snickers when your hopeful smile drops at the mention of your cold. “ugh don’t remind me. but if I’m going back to sleep, you’re coming with me. you don’t have an excuse anymore and it’s my birthday, so I have some sway.”
“you always have sway, baby,” he says while getting under the covers with you.
“yeah, but I’m extra convincing today,” you argue, and he knows if he doesn’t curb the conversation right now, you’ll never fall back asleep.
“alright, alright, come here. just rest,” he tugs you down to lay on his chest and reaches under your shirt to caress your back.
“hey keigo?” you ask after a minute, voice once again riddled with sleep.
“mhm?”
“when you eventually get sick and I have to take care of you, can we add to the scrapbook some more?”
it’s a given that you would continue it together, but he doesn’t say that because he knows you’re too tired for the realization to hit you yet. so instead he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “of course, angel. that sounds great.”
you’re lulled to sleep a few minutes later to the sound of his voice whispering the sweetest of sweet nothings.
“happy birthday, baby.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
okay this is unedited bc it’s not even 7 am while I’m typing this and I don’t have time later to change anything, so I’M SORRY 😭
the other bday fic is coming I swear 🥹
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mika-no-sekai-blog · 2 days
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Word count: 2800+
Warnings: mentions of blood, nausea
I lightly edited it, but as I have headache I probably didn't notice quite a lot of mistakes. I know I could try another time, but I'm afraid this will take few days
Part XIV | Part XVI
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Even days after your conversation with Feyre, your mind was often returning back to Tamlin with more worries than sadness. You somehow assumed that he didn't miss you as much as you missed him and that he most likely forgot about you and moved on, focusing on his court and its restoration. Otherwise he would stop Rhys back then or he would come to visit you or at least tried to contact you. But what if he couldn't? What if Feyre was right and Tamlin was hurt by your departure?
You wanted to ask somebody about Tamlin and his wellbeing, needed it, but who would answer you? Who could have such information?
Rhys, as High Lord, most likely knew what was happening in Spring Court. However he wouldn't tell you. You dismissed the thought as soon as it occurred to you because, well, now you knew your brother well. Although he left Tamlin alive, angry wasn't a strong enough word to describe his feelings toward him. And except of his family, Rhysand hardly forgave and definitely never forgot.
Another person who could know something, was Azriel. As a spymaster he for sure kept an eye on other courts. He was kind and nice to you, but no matter what feelings he had, his loyalty to your brother was on the first place. If you asked him, he could tell about it to Rhys and then it would be even more difficult to learn anything from anyone.
Feyre mentioned the redhead, Lucien, who claimed to be Tamlin's friend. You hadn't seen him around, but apparently he came for visit from time to time. He seemed to be the only possible choice. Only problem was how to contact him.
Tamlin wasn't the only one occupying your mind. In moments when you weren't thinking about him, your mind filled with old memories and feelings that Rhys revived. You had only one sitting with him so far and even though it was days ago, you were still confused and needed time to process it.
The memories made your life easier in certain ways. You didn't feel so out of place, so homesick anymore. This place changed, but people even though a bit older where still the same. Your current feelings kept mixing together with the old ones and you couldn't say how you felt about individual members of your family and that was main reason of the chaos in your heart.
Thankfully there was Azriel always ready to patiently listen to your rambling which helped you clarify your thoughts and slowly work through it. He never failed you and advised you wisely, guided you when you got lost.
And so it happened that you started meeting him more often, sometimes spending even all day long with him. You were afraid to leave Rhys' property because of the possibility to be again engulfed in the smell of magic. In order to get rid of the stress fresh air and mainly the contact with nature were very important for you. Therefore you were mostly outside, walking together in the garden, rarely staying inside of the house.
The garden around the house was large, kind of smaller park, full of flowers and surprisingly even herbs. It reminded you of your life in the forest and walks with Tamlin. You always picked up some herbs and Azriel made you a tea out of them. In the evening you sat together on the terrace, sipping your teas and silently watched the setting sun. However peaceful these moments were, they weren't perfect and you always missed something. It was unsettling.
Your life was changing little by little, but you weren't content with it. You knew you loved your brother and his two best friends, Mor became kind of friend, although still far from the relationship you had before memory loss, but better than last few weeks. Amren was complicated. You hardly met her at all, so it didn't matter much. You liked even Feyre. However her sisters were different case.
You didn't mind Nesta. She wasn't kind, but she wasn't bad or mean to you. She just.. was. The oldest of the sisters had enough of own problems to solve. And Elain? Before you hardly saw her, now you were meeting her wherever you went. She was like your shadow, staring and frowning at you every time you looked in her direction.
There were also small incidents. Salt in your drinks, dirt on clothes Rhys gave you, that just came back from washing, small amounts of grass, dirt or mud raining on you while you took a walk in the garden alone. At first you tried to ignore it. However the situation was escalating and it was hard to ignore now. You didn't want to point a finger to the culprit, but you knew who's doing it was.
After some time when you didn't react, culprit took it even further. Now it wasn't only following you around and angry looks. Every time you spoke with Azriel Elain appeared and totally ignoring the fact you were in the middle of conversation she started telling him about flowers or something that just happened to her.
Azriel was shocked at first, but as it repeated daily, you knew him enough to notice he was starting to be fed up by her behaviour. Still he tried to be gentleman and gently dismissed her, pointing out the fact that he was busy with something else which she paid no attention to and kept talking, flashing smiles at him.
At those awkward moments, well, you rather backed up. Giving up on your favourite time with Azriel was the best and easiest thing to do to prevent being in the center of the drama. Whatever was between the two of them, it had nothing to do with you. Or that was what you believed. You just assured Azriel that it's okay, that you could talk later and left.
One afternoon, after being again interrupted by Elain, you were wandering through the house aimlessly when you heard an angry voice coming from behind the Rhys' closed office doors. Normally you would ignore it and leave quickly to give him privacy, but when you heard Tamlin's name, you couldn't help it and came closer listening.
"I'm telling you, Rhysand, it's much worse than before. If we don't do something and very quickly, it'll be too late," the voice snarled. That voice. You had already heard it somewhere. But where?
"She is the only one who can help him. Let her at least visit him and talk with him.."
"No," you heard Rhys flatly refuse. "In this state Tamlin is too dangerous. He could hurt her."
"I'm sure he won't."
"Look at yourself. You are his closest friend, yet he would turn you into shreds if you didn't winnow away fast enough. I won't risk her life." Closest friend? Was it possible that the fox-like redhead was in Rhys' office now?
"He seems to have feelings for her and pretty deep ones. Otherwise he wouldn't be so broken after you snatched her away," Lucien snapped.
"Don't dare you!"
There was silence for a moment.
"Your sister is the only person who can help him get out of it. We both know it," Lucien said lowly, his voice still angry, but he tried to speak more calmly. With his every word your heart clenched so painfully that if you looked down at your chest, you were sure you would see a deep gaping wound there.
"You may not agree, but this isn't something you can decide. We ought to ask your sister what she wants. What she thinks. You've already decided for her that she has to come here with you, however, I heard that she doesn't like it. That she isn't happy here and wants to return to Spring Court. If that's the true you can't hold her here against her will."
"You would be surprised how much has changed since your last visit." Now Rhysand was definitely mad, his deep voice icy, dangerous. You hoped Lucien was smart enough not to annoy your brother even more. It could cost him too much.
"If you want to save Spring Court, she is the best shot we have. Think about it carefully. There's little time left."
You didn't need to stay to know what Rhysand answered him. It was too clear. With wildly beating heart you left unnoticed. You knew their conversation was over. Rhysand didn't want to even think about your return to Spring.
You didn't hear what exactly happened to Tamlin, but it wasn't necessary at the moment. You were already too worried after talking with Feyre. However now wasn't the time for that. You had to act. This was the chance you hoped for. Lucien was here and you had to take an advantage of it. He would leave soon, but you needed to talk with him before that, somewhere nobody could see you or hear you.
You hid into a dark alcove in a hall that Lucien had to pass on his way out and waited. Long time nothing happened, house was too silent and you started to worry that he left through the garden. You shut eyes, tears gathering in them, your head fell back against the wall. You missed him, your only chance to learn something about Tamlin.
A sound of angry footsteps filled the hall. Somebody was coming your way. You held your breath, peeking from your hideaway. As the person passed by the window his hair caught the light, shining brightly as a fire. You breathed a sigh of relieve. It was Lucien.
When he was only few inches from your alcove you whispered. "We need to talk."
Lucien's eyes widened, following your voice to the darkness you hid in. It took only a second. He halted and bending down he pretended to adjust his shoelaces. "Where?" he whispered. Really clever of him. You smiled.
"Meet me in the garden. Under the oak tree."
Without another word he stood up and left. You waited long enough and then stepped out from your hideaway. Walking slowly as if nothing happened, you headed to the opposite direction. You passed the terrace and stepped into the garden. Pretending to be on one of your strolls, you walked until the house disappeared behind the dense grove.
A massive oak tree grew in the farthest part of the grounds, hidden from prying eyes. It was ideal place for secret meeting. You looked around. You were all alone. You hoped Lucien would be already waiting here, but maybe he couldn't find this place even though this was the only oak tree in the garden. You sat down dejectedly between two strong roots and pulled knees to your chest, praying to the forgotten gods for a pinch of luck.
"I hoped to see you around," male's voice came from behind your back. You turned around, eyes wide. You didn't hear him come. Lucien stood there leaning against the tree trunk, hands crossed on his chest, playful smirk on his face. "And meanwhile you came to me."
He reminded you of a curious fox, his russet and gold eyes scanned you from head to toes. His smirk disappeared and jaw clenched, eyes narrowed. "I shouldn't have mentioned you in front of him," he muttered more to himself than to you.
You were curious what it was about, but you didn't ask. You were sure you already know the answer. You decided to get straight to the point.
"I heard what you and Rhys were talking about." With a thoughtful expression he scanned you one more time.
"You are really interesting being," he muttered. "I didn't know we had company. But I didn't sense you in that hallway either."
You shrugged. "What happened to Tamlin?"
His lips pressed into a thin line, he seemed to be considering whether to answer you.
"I don't care what Rhys says or wants. In this case. Tell me everything."
He ran hand through his long red hair and sighing sat down astride on one of higher roots. He leaned back against trunk and looked into the garden.
"It's bad with him," he sighed, worried.
"Is he hurt?"
"No, I guess not yet. But.. Do you remember the state he was in when you two met?"
You nodded. "He was quite wounded."
"I didn't mean his physical state," he snorted.
"I wasn't talking about his physical state. He was depressed. So much that he didn't want to eat and drink. He had also nightmares."
"Ah." Lucien stayed silent for a few heartbeats. His voice was grave. "It's even worse now. He won't change from his beast form, snarling like wild animal, lashing his claws all around. When I went to talk with him, he tried to kill me. I don't know whether you've been in his manor, but it's in catastrophic state. Like some beast's lair. He quite destroyed it.."
Your heart grew heavier with each word. Pain in your chest and behind your eyes was almost unbearable. "Why do you think I can help him? You are his friend. You could do that, too."
Lucien's brows raised and his lips slowly parted in a grin. "Tell me. Do you know the reason why he gave you that pendant you're hiding? What it symbolises?" Your brows furrowed, but before you could open your mouth he continued. "It's not that I don't want to help him. Otherwise I wouldn't be here, right? Unfortunately I can't help him. Nobody can. Except of you." His gold mechanical eye turned too you.
It didn't make sense. Why couldn't anyone else help him? You gritted teeth.
Your fingers touched the pendant through the fabric of your clothes. How could he know about this? You took it out only in your room when you were alone. The only person who saw it was Feyre. You looked up at him.
"You didn't answer me."
He rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed by your incomprehension. "You really didn't notice? I saw you two together for a short while and noticed. For Tamlin you aren't just an ordinary friend. Whether he acknowledge it or no, he seems to have quite deep feelings for you. The pendant is proof of that. Roses have a very special meaning for him."
You turned away from him, so Lucien couldn't see your face. You were shocked by his assertion and.. hurt. That was not true. He couldn't be further from the truth. Tamlin.. he didn't need you. Last time you were together he was already fully healed, ready to leave the cottage and you behind and return to his duties. The pendant was just a gift of gratitude. There wasn't anything else behind that.
You bit down on you lip so hard you drew the blood. This just added to your overall confusion and there wasn't enough time to start spiralling now. It was only a matter of minutes before someone would start looking for you. So you pushed those thoughts away, decided to think about it later.
"What can I do to help him?"
Lucien straightened, intrigued by the change of subject. He exhaled deeply. "The best would be if you went to him. I think he needs to see you, have you close enough to touch to have some effect on him."
"I don't think Rhys would allow it."
"I've already heard his opinion," Lucien grimaced. "His is as stubborn as-"
"Be careful what you say," you snarled. "He's my brother."
Lucien gaped at you. With open mouth. "Are you kidding me? Last time I was here you couldn't stand him. Nobody here. Feyre said you-"
"Stop messing around and rather tell something I could actually do for Tamlin," you interrupted him for the second time.
He seemed to want to say something to that. His eyes narrowed at you, but changing mind the fox-like male closed his mouth and instead looked around the garden, thinking. "As I said before, your visit would be the most helpful. Maybe.. maybe you could try to write him. I'm sure he'll chew it up before finding out who sent it, but who knows. Even stranger things happened."
"I'd have to go to the house. Somebody could notice." Sudden smell of magic took your breath away and a wave of nausea rose in your throat.
Lucien handed you two sheets of paper and pen. "Is it enough?"
You just nodded with clenched teeth and taking the writing tools you stood up, walking away from him. He didn't need to know what you were writing. When you were done, you put the letter into an envelope, sealed it and handed it back to redhead.
"It better work," the sighed. "I'll let you know if he reads it or replies." With that he winnowed away.
You stayed seated under the oak tree, thinking about Tamlin and things Lucien told you, until Azriel came looking for you.
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Susan Hawthorne’s In Defence of Separatism includes a chapter analysing the seven ‘forms of power’ identified by de Crespigny, insofar as they are represented in men’s power over women. I found this really interesting, and worth sharing, though there’s too much text to share the whole thing in a post. So I’m going to try and summarise her points here - but please bear in mind I am not a philosophy scholar, far from it, and this may be inaccurate or contain misinterpretation as a result. I’m going to try my best.
So, the seven forms of power according to de Crespigny, 1970:
Coercive power
Inducive power
Reactional power
Impedimental power
Legitimate power
Attrahent power
Persuasive power
Hawthorne analyses these as follows:
Coercive power: Someone using or threatening to use his power, in order to make someone else comply with his wishes. This could mean using physical force, or deprivation of access to resources. The example Hawthorne gives is domestic violence (using power), and victims’ reluctance to reveal domestic violence for fear of further attack (consequence of the threat of power). She adds that every time the powerful individual wields this power successfully, it empowers him and disempowers his victim.
Inducive power: Someone complying with a powerful person’s wishes because she believes she will benefit by complying. This benefit could be a reward, or the withdrawal of a threat/deprivation. This benefit may or may not materialise. Hawthorne gives the example of marriage, for security and social benefits. She argues that even if this is perceived as a choice, it’s not a free choice, so the complying individual’s autonomy is impaired and they lose power.
Reactional power: Someone complying with a powerful person/institution because of her beliefs about that person/institution, particularly when she refrains from doing what she would have done otherwise. One of the examples Hawthorne gives is someone refraining from behaving as she wishes at work, because she believes this would prevent her from getting a promotion.
Impedimental power: When a powerful person/institution puts obstacles or impediments in the way of a less powerful person. Hawthorne extends the example above - when the woman is in fact not promoted as a result of her behaviour, or due to discrimination against women generally.
Legitimate power: The ‘right’ to command and be obeyed. This is the power of law and government. Even if the powerless individual disagrees with the powerful individual/institution, she obeys because she believes their power is legitimate. The example Hawthorne gives is the woman successfully suing her employer for discrimination, where the power is in the hands of the law/court, and should be obeyed by the employer.
Attrahent power: Power resulting from wanting to be like, or be liked by, a more powerful individual. Hawthorne gives the example of a person complying with the wishes of someone she loves, just because she loves him. She notes this isn’t always a destructive or conflict-inducing form of power.
Persuasive power: This is split into rational persuasive power - where someone gives information and reasonable arguments to persuade someone else to comply with their wishes - and non-rational persuasive power - where someone gives misinformation, deception, or emotive arguments to persuade someone else to comply. Hawthorne gives the example of safe and accurate contraceptive education for the former, and dangerous advice to induce miscarriage for the latter.
I’ve found it interesting, since reading this book, to consider where and how the various forms of power appear in my life, so I thought it was worth sharing them in case others found this interesting too. Please feel free to add examples, or if any of you are more informed and would like to explain further/better or correct this please go ahead.
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happymixxx · 14 hours
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alicent as a mother is always so intensive subject, cause where tg refuse to admit that alicent was a bad mother, tb don't give her justice in reasons why that happened (it's not general, both teams has exceptions ofc)
tg defend her saying it's not her fault, she was used, she didn't want those children, they forced her, but was it said otherwise? yes, she was bad mother because of her own trauma and assault she experienced but she was still a bad mother. having an "excuse" don't change that
and not every time that someone said she is not a good parent, they need to add why. no need for assuming that person who says it, doesn't know the reasons. they can say why alicent became bad parent or the way alicent shows bad parenting or that she is just that, bad mother, they can say all of it or just one thing. all of that coexists
before I'll start: there's most stuff from the show, but there's book spoilers, maybe that will be also show cannon in the future, I dunno, sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language
we have evidence of her being basically sold by her father, sa'd by viserys, forced to birth one child by another. she was motherless child forced to becoming a mother before she was ready. she was not a fan of her children, we see her unhappy with them, and when she speaks it's about dry facts like the labour and not her feelings. she does not care for them that way, which is fine bc she not wished for them and she's still a child herself, but that's a fact
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we see her later with her kids and again we cannot say she became better while becoming older. she sees them as her duty (her worst enemy), her responsibility and also (admit it or not) way to put rhaenyra down. otto said to her way before jace was born that he wants aegon on the throne, he already could be accused of treason but alicent remained silent and later she acts the same way. she puts on aegon big pressure, responsibilities and also involves him in act of treason (because again she thinks it's her duty to the realm)
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what's more she abuses him physically and mentally. we see her beating him more than once, screaming or neglacting him (all of that are forms of abuse). blames him for aemond's losing an eye while it was her responsibility to watch her kid or a servant and guards', not his (you can say also viserys', there was never a dispute if he's a good father, we know he isn't, it's about alicent only discussion then)
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aegon in his 20s has to ask his mother if he's being loved, how sick is that? that he drowns in need of attention? (you can say he deserves all of this but the truth is alicent - and viserys ofc - failed to raise him well and now she fails to punish him, cause he should be sent to the wall, instead she beats him and let's him be a monster to another girl, now as a "king". all not to protect him but to protect his reputation, all she does there is bc of her sense of duty)
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helaena hates being touched by her own mother, why wouldn't she? child bride alicent did the same to her daughter, knowing what a menace her son is. she does not understand haelena, she forces her to early marriage, childbirting, unhappy life. (and be fr, haelena might not like touching generally but 1. it's speaks even worse about alicent who touches her againts her will and married her to sexual predator, 2. she didn't mind being touched by jace who not really knowing his aunt was far more gentle)
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absence of daeron would say more about their relation if not for long time skips, the truth is sending away little child is a form of neglacting however we do not know if they were in touch and how often. i know it's a common practise, i am glad that baela was at least sent to her loving grandmother in her later childhood, but I still do not like the whole ward thing and i won't comment on it in daeron's case, cause we did not see it here how was it done
I will speak about aemond x alicent relation though which is by far the most interesting. he is the only one we can say that he loves his mother and cares for her which doesn't automatically means she was a good mother for him. for the dynamic he observes alicent needs protection from men around her (rightfully so) and decides to lie to the king to protect her. not only he usually lives meeting her expectations (ekhem ekhem not anymore ig) but can initiate his actions to please her even if that means he'll go against his own wishes (searching for aegon to make him a king)
the fact is he was much miserable for not having dragons AND for being bullied. yet two things we have: first alicent as queen could easily arrange aemond going to dragonstone to claim dragon or take rhaenyra's deal to have syrax's egg. second - she blames velaryon boys as if she wasn't the one who destroyed good relations between kids and as if aegon weren't bellwether for bullying actions (YES, JACE AND LUKE ARE GUILTY TOO, but we discuss here alicent dynamics with her kids, so I point her fault right now) and she raised one child to bully others, his own siblings
then we have the children's fight and aemond loses his eyes. one of the best scene when alicent attacks rhaenyra, 10/10 love everything here. that's gonna sound harsh but alicent's behaviour here screams about duty too. it shouldn't at all, her child just lost his eye, her priority should be to comfort him. instead she wants rhaenyra to take responsibility for having bastards (that's not the case), aegon for not taking care of aemond (it's her responsibility), viserys to admitting her own sacrifices weren't for nothing. she put here herself and her needs above aemond, she used his wounds to attack rhaenyra and her children (no, I do not say she didn't care aemond got hurt, don't put words in my mouth)
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"if the king won’t seek justice the queen will" she wants so called "justice", but stated by her only, where's justice in taking child's eye after accident? would she also break aemond nose for "justice"? if he'd kiled luke or jace, would she call for killing aemond? it's not caring mother, it's the queen wanting revenge cause she doesn't like princess' privileges (and also privilege that bastards here have). she calms down when she realizes that she went too far, "neglected her duty", that's not aemond's doing (and also fcked up that her assaulted child feels that he needs to calm her down)
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"she was ready to die for her children" desperate actions in the worst scenarios to not matter that much with previous behaviour, especially since her children were doubt if she would do that for them in the first place (that ig you can take as opinion, but if mother abuses child for years how much does it counts if she gives up her life for this child?)
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regarding rhaenyra she doesn't understand a good mother patterns as well. she either doesn't care nyra will suffer or doesn't understand that mother who just gave a birth to a child, will not send it away even for a second. she doesn't care or understand mother will not allow for taking her child's eye for "duty". she doesn't understand that bastards are not any less worthy of love. her view of motherhood is sacrifising herself, not enjoying what she can.
perhaps she did not know any better, her mother was a child bride (forced by old pedo otto) just like her, she did the same to haelena and unfortunately later that happened to jaehaera. she was abused in many ways but later also became an abuser. and all that because she thought life is about duty and sacrifice. she had every reason to be bad mother and she became one but that it should be seen as a fact while some of you see it as an opinion and criticism
if you read all of that - seven hells okay
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lunargrapejuice · 1 day
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sephiroth + "it's getting crowded. here, hold my hand." and/or "i will never let you go."
p.s i adore how you write sephiroth sm i will always eat it up ravenously thank you <333
ahhh thank you so much lovely!<3 i wrote one but i'm still gonna write the other because i can't help myself with this man hehe🤭🩷 i hope you enjoy this one🥺 it got kinda long im sorry ahh again i could not help myself😵‍💫
🌙 prompt event
"it's getting crowded. here, hold my hand." | sephiroth x reader with no pronouns used
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tonight the moon seems nothing more than a dim light in the distance against the bright city street that is busy with midgar citizens despite the late hour. booths and open storefronts line the street for as far as you can see, public security having blocked off the area so no vehicles could get through and people could wander the bustling night market freely. the scent of sweet and fried foods fills the air, accompanied by the chatter and giggles of everyone around you but it all feels dull against the butterflies in your chest that hadn’t stopped for a single moment since the start of your walk home.
but how could they when sephiroth had waited at the office in order to see you home safely and had kept close since you left the shinra building? you could feel the heat of his body, his long strides slowed in order to keep next to you but it’s a comfortable pace as he walks on the side of the walkway closest to the street and crowds of people.
with how broad his shoulders are, anytime you look up at him, he takes up your whole world, making your cheeks burn at the reminder of just how beautiful he is and how close he actually is to you. one sway of your hand to the right and your fingers would be brushing against his. you could reach out and move his long hair away from his face to give you a better view of those cat-like eyes that have always captivated you. but you don’t and instead let yourself fall into a comfortable silence when your mind runs away with thoughts of how it would feel to card you fingers through his hair, touch the tender skin of his cheek-
before you can get too far away from the reins you normally keep on your feelings for him, your attention to your surroundings come back just in time to see someone running in your direction a little too late for you to move out of the way, their eyes not in front of them and instead of the person jogging beside them. your body tenses, your eyes closing and you draw in a quick breath as if to prepare for the impact and the crash to the ground.
while you do feel the world around you move, there’s no force to the ground and instead of a harsh clashing of bodies, it’s as though you’re being gently tucked into one. the smell of leather and flora fills your senses and you know without a doubt you’re against sephiroth even before your eyes open to confirm it’s true. he had moved so quickly you are only now registering the arm around your middle that keeps you pressed against his body and when your eyes flutter open to be met with his worried ones, light brows knitted together in concern, you’re glad for it as your knees wobble.
he feels the shift in your body weight and easily adjusts his hold on you so you don’t lose your footing but hopes that you don’t hear or feel the way his heart is rapidly beating in his chest with how it feels to have you pressed into him. it certainly gets no better when you look up at him with eyes that sparkle in the street lights. but to his surprise, despite the overwhelming bursts of electricity firing off like fireworks in his chest, he’s able to speak.
“are you alright?”
slow to pull away, regretful that you have to, you feel his hold leave your side only when he knows you’re steady on your feet. your nod your head and the smile you wear is hiding your embarrassment. “ah - sorry about that.”
“it’s fine,” he chuckles, low and sweet, and the melody of it stops your worries in their tracks. all you can focus on is his handsome face in a soft, almost boyish, expression you quite like on him. “distracted by something?”
your cheeks burn and you’re unable to meet his eyes. yes but you’re not able to admit about what. “i guess so,” you try not to think about what was keeping your eyes and your mind occupied, what it felt like to be in his arms, pressed against his chest, just moments ago even though the feeling of him still tingles your skin everywhere your bodies connected. “theres.. just a lot going on out here. i think i’m a little used to the quieter walk home.”
it wasn’t entirely a lie. normally this street was empty on your way home and anytime sephiorth walked you it was just the two of you. you think you both prefer it that way considering how many eyes have looked sephiroths way tonight. you’re thankful they at least have been too busy to stop the famous war hero. or perhaps too scared to with how intimidating his presence felt to most. 
a feeling that wasn’t in your personal repertoire of emotions for him.
oh no, there was nothing close to intimidation or fear when he closes the distance between you, one step that puts you impossibly close as a couple walks behind him and takes a double look back. you hear them whisper his name amongst themselves but his focus is only on you. you’re unable to discern the emotions swirling like mako in his eyes but a part of you wonders if they are mirroring your own.
sephiroth knows this is just a crowd of citizens, not a battlefield or enemy territory, but there’s a deep need within him to protect you, keep you as close as possible so you don’t have to worry about anyone nearly crashing into you again or touching you if you don’t want them to. 
he’s been keenly aware of everyone around you, not normally liking being in such large crowds to begin with and wanting to ensure your safety always, but a part of him is also thankful for them tonight. at least in the sense that he might not have given in to his want to hold you had he not needed to in order to keep you safe. such intimate and tender moments are not something he is used to in the slightest but he craved it with you and the desire had only grown each time you touched. 
now was no exception - goddess it had only made it amplify to the tenth degree. he hadn’t wanted you to step away from his chest that caught your breath on his exposed skin or to be away from the softness of you in his hold. and you’re still here, right in front of him, right within his grasp, so close he could easily lean down and capture your lips.
it takes all of his strength to fight against the heart in his chest that aches for you but even in his seemingly infinite might, it still somehow gets the better of him. if only a bit.
“it's getting crowded. here, hold my hand.”
in your speechless state, all you can do is nod at his words as your cheeks burn and you take his offered hand. the leather of his gloves feels clean and his hand easily encases your own with its size but you also can’t deny how utterly perfect it feels and give it an experimental squeeze at the first step you take back down the street, hoping this walk home will last much longer tonight.
♡♡♡♡♡
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ponchusjbonchus · 2 days
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i finished hazbin hotel so here is my master collection of all my silly notes
episode 1  
- treat angel dust better and give him actual lines and it’ll be better
- why do the background demons have more variety than the main cast 
- opening number is good 
- when will jesus appear 
- cannibal town is where i wanna live 
- i should keep a swear counter for this 
- charlie is the best character 
- adam shaving down a chicken bone in one bite is really funny 
- i like adam his voice actor is doing really good 
-  all the voice actors are really good. except keith david poor guy
- angel dust sexually harassing husk is not funny
- if adam is a human who sins then why is he in charge of the angel exterminators 
- nifftys commercial bit is funny
- alastors monocle  is on  his mouth in some shots and it’s funny 
- i like the foreshadowing of alastor hating tv 
- lutes design. heart emoji 
- adams song goes hard as fuck. very likeable villain 
- “fuck you i do what i want” contract made me giggle 
- i feel like all the main characters except for charlie and alastor are really one note and it bugs me 
- katie killjoy is still awesome 
- the cliffhanger is really intriguing and i will watch more
final score 8/10 despite the bad dialogue for angel 
episode 2 
intro song is good but the visuals are boring 
what is this cat. who
why is the animation worse in this episode 
paused to read valentino’s texts and the way he sways from calling angel a bitch to calling him babe and being like “don’t be like this” that is like.yeah that’s accurate 
foreshadowing is good 
JESUS APPEARED (sir pentious)
“trust us with your money” 😭
not really resonating with any characters. vox has the best character design so far though 
velvette is really entertaining 
valentino’s voice actor is good and his jokes are somehow better than angels. still a horrible person and i hope he gets exterminated
vox is really interesting and the thing his voice does is cool . i REALLLY wanna like this guy but so far i like adam better 
second time seven years has been mentioned . what happened 
WHILE HE HID IN RADIO WE PIVOTED TO VIDEO NOW HIS MEDIUM IS GETTING BLOODY RARE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️vivienne be damned but the girl can write a song 
alastor fucking with vox after seeing him for seemingly no reason is really funny and in character . though funny it doesn’t really fit into the episode that smoothly 
hell being shaped like a pentagram is creative (side note when i looked up the name for it cuz i couldn’t remember the third result was “what is the star thing called”)
alastors angry demon design looks better than his regular design 
i love sir pentious so much he’s so cute
pentious and charlie are my favorites so far. i know pentious is a double agent but knowing him from the pilot/what we’ve seen in this episode i feel like he’s gonna be dumped by the vees cuz he’s a pathetic wet slop of a man 
the crackhead play joke is really funny 
angel dusts jealousy came out of.Nowhere. like i know charlie was saying like “hey you aren’t really a real resident” and he was mad about the game but it felt more like “ugh i can’t stand these people” not “ugh i wish i could be redeemed and people cared about me.” it was hinted at just not very well 
angel being lovebombed is portrayed.Fine.ly   like it’s realistic but not outstanding . it would mean more if valentino wasn’t making lighthearted jokes about how he kills and manipulates his workers 
pentious’ tail is randomly shrinking and growing 
the camera work in the fight scene is Awful 
pentious :-( 
first time in a while i have heard a show say you should kill yourself NOW 
imagine pentious immediately goes to heaven after the song /silly
final score 8/10 only because of pentious. overall episode is 7/10
episode 3 
pentious still being peak right off the bat. he gets the funniest jokes
alastor still isn’t very funny 
angel dust isn’t funny booooooo boooooooooo
vaggie centric episode? i think? idk i don’t like vaggie she’s kinda boring 
niffty is less funny than she was in previous episodes. she feels more remnant of internet “dark humor” from the time the pilot released 
okay i ended up watching the rest of this one during gym class so i didn’t have my notes. overall this episode was really good except for velvette kinda sucking . 7/10 
episode 4 
this isn’t the poison episode is it.
animation is noticeably worse
vaggies plain ass delivery of the “angel. what the fuck” line made me laugh
i thought the cold open of angel getting r worded would be a way of showing that his life is really fucked up.though it was just a joke bit which i was not expecting
pentious cowering in fear at pornography 
i really like charlie. kk said that she was one note and .i kinda agree but i still love her 
this one demon has a better design then the entire main cast 
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angels real name is anthony 😭
okay the dressing room scene . the fear in angels voice through all of it is so jarring and it keeps you invested in the scene and Val being so fuckinh disgusting and evil . how do people like this guy at all. this scene is so creepy not just cuz of val being abusive but because of how horrified Angel is and the moment he asks the bare minimum of val not hurting charlie his life is put on the line. i feel like this was treated with the weight it deserves and it clearly paints val as a villain. unfortunately it’s tainted by the fact that the writers are aroused by this shit but they do a good job of hiding it i guess. maybe this will change 
it bothers me so much that angels head keeps randomly changing in size cuz all the animation is freehand
poison. im gonna be careful and respectful on how i go about talking about this . i actually really like this song and sequence but it’s brought down so bad and made so beyond creepy and horrifying to know that the writers are into this. i like the constant parallel of angel being his porn actor persona who loves sex and his abused reality where he wants to be free. and the scene where he’s dancing in front of a screen with the foxes intercut with his assault is really uncomfortable yeah but i like how it shows that he’s turning his own abuse and exploitation into entertainment . and the line “it’s so hard to resist another gulp!” or however it goes has a nice double meaning . it’s like “ughhh i love sex how could i resist it” but also “i want to resist but im so deep into this that i can’t” . i am not a sexual assault survivor so i don’t feel properly equipped to go into depth about the representation of angels ongoing abuse but from a PURELYcinematic standpoint as someone with a passion for this stuff i feel like this song did well, but again it’s made so much worse and creepier knowing the writers who made this 
the spots under angels eyes are more eyes??.huh
sorry for the lack of notes i am just. genuinely invested in this 
BEST SONG 💥💥💥yeah maybe i knew all the words to this song before i ever watched th show what are you gonna do about it
ohhi don’t really. like the message of that song actually 🙁 it has been established that angel dusts pervertedness and desperation for drugs is not who he really is nor who he likes to be but husk telling him “hey it’s okay to be like that” and angel immediately coming around to it just feels.ehhh…..it feels like he’s taking one step forward and two steps back . i get that the message was supposed to be “embrace the bad parts of yourself! it’s okay to be a loser!” but in the context of the episode it doesn’t fit. good song in a vacuum
iiiidont really know how to feel about this. the episode was great up until loser baby which,is a song that i really like but it kinda does kill the whole episode imo. 5.5/10 unfortunate 
episode 5 
halfway through the series who cheered
adam mention. win (adam and pentious are my favorites )
i hate niffty im sorry 💔 she was better in the pilot
dude. lucifer is so fucking funny right off the bat i love this guy 
is this guy autistic he feels autistic i like him
lucifer is peak character oh my god
why is??? alastor trying to fight lucifer for charlies dad figure??? i don’t understand this guy he just does shit
this is the character norm called out for being a jewish stereotype. and god i can see it jesus 
i love and hate mimzy. she’s ehh
okay nevermind i do kinda get alastors jealousy
i cannot express how good a character lucifer is. he is the funniest part of this show so far by a LOOOONG shot 
pentious does not know what a siege is apparently. honestly fitting 
mimzy served zero purpose dawg i hope this was just an intro and she comes back at some point 
baby charlie ❤️ 
meaning-wise more than anything is the best song we’ve gotten thus far. through the episode i didnt rlly understand lucifer i just thought he was funny but now i get it! and i love it 
this episode was okay. alastor and mimzy take up way too much screen time for barely anything to happen but lucifer was an awesome character and i love him a lot . unfortunately he can’t save this episode though 6/10
episode 5
this yuri tastes like chicken salad but not the good kind 
i despise cherri 
praying that pentious has a role in this one 
white man jumpscare THATS SUPPOSED RO HE SAINY BETER
the seraphims look sick as hell
emmy and charlie have more chemistry than charlie and vaggie im losing it 
why do the angels look exactly like the demons 
saint peter is .Stupid?????
ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JOY
charlie should be in heaven. she doesn’t deserve being in hell
vaggie backstory! hooray this is actually sick as hell 
how did charlie not know that vaggie was a fallen angel if she saw her in uniform ?? wouldn’t she recognize that “hey that’s the outfit angels wear” 
adam is a bitch and i love him so much 
karen joke (awful)
websters dictionary joke (not as awful)
adam struggling to think of words so he writes them down,,,,god i love him so much i know he’s a bad guy and a bad person and a bad. he’s just bad all around but i don’t care i love him so dearly he’s my favorite character i think 
niffty is better in this episode 
WATERBOARDINH 😭😭
emily i love 
“fuck yes!!!” oug or character 
i want pentious to get into heaven. please 
angel being a good father 
the delivery of “hey……….i see the club has a sex room…………” is fucking hilarious and i laughed out loud 
i have laughed more at this episode than i have the entire series pentious is so funny 
valentino. gross
angel standing up to valentino is really nice 
why doesn’t emily have a nose 
why are we having a deep song with emily as soon as we meet her???? i mean it’s technically not her song or sera’s but like. we JUST met them it doesn’t rlly make sense for them to have this big number 
yeah it’s really bothering me that emily has this big number. we barely know these people and they’re treating it like we’ve known her forever WHO IS THIS GIRL
if hell is forever then heaven must be a lie 💥💥
I CANT THID RUCKING FACE 
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i hate this episode a lot more the writing is worse 
okay. the writing is noticeably worse than the rest of the series in this episode the pacing is completely fucked. at least we get some adam content and vaggie lore but vaggie isn’t rlly a character i enjoy. however the humor is peak in this episode and pentious really carries it with his running bit. he can’t save much of the episode sadly. 4.5/10 
episode 7
the more i watch the intro i really don’t like it . it’s so boring 
pentious petting keykey 
i dont like alastor  bad character bad character whenever he’s on screen i want to kick something 
cannibal town ‼️‼️
awwwwwi love rosie. she’s like mimzy but better and more likeable 
i wanna make a cannibal oc. if i were in this version of hell i would wanna be a cannibal. this whole area makes me happy 
rosie didn’t swear ONCE in her opening scene im so proud of the writers 
i really like carmilla’s design and her stupid nsr hands 
if helluva boss is in the same universe as this one then why don’t they go through extermination ??? or is that like. an au
rosie is so cute i love her so much. 
susan is such an underwhelming name that’s so funny 
this episode is much better 
i know that this show doesn’t have the best writing but it’s honestly just a fun watch
out for love is the best number we’ve had so far 
carmilla walks around in steel ballet shoes all the time i gotta respect the woman 
rosie’s first swear came 2/3rds into the episode. new record 
i relate to charlie 
I LOVE ROSIE.SO MUCH uuhg$hd,s
charlie’s song is really nice 
the cannibals are the best part of the show. easily 
SHE GOT SUSAN 🔥🔥
vaggie getting her wings back . i love 
this is easily the best episode so far. both musical numbers were great and vaggie and charlie being apart and their stories being intercut only for them to come together at the end was amazing. cannibal town is absolutely amazing and perfect and there was a noticeably less amount of swearing. 9/10, praying that  the finale is this good too 
episode 8 (finale)
is this technically just a part 2 to episode 7 
PENTIOUS DRESSED LIKE A GENERAL.AW
i love vox he’s so goofy . i wish he appeared more 
charlie’s message is really nice i love her a lot but it was kinda ruined by niffty
cherri makes everything worse 
angel dust’s development is nice 
pentious being forced into a hetero love with cherri,,,blehh this is the most aroace guy ive ever seen 
mini more than anything reprise with charlie and vaggie is really sweet . 
ADAM 💥💥💥SICK ASS NEW OUTFIT BRO 
adam is still the best character in this show. “chill lute fuck” i adore alex brightman 
the battle outfits are cool 
alastor finally doing something helpful 
gyat DAMN adam. awooga 
vox’s stupid dance 
alastor saying nuh uh to the person trying to murder him is funny
i don’t want to kin adam but i Do. i Do he’s Awesome
while it interrupts the action vox watching and cheering as alastor nearly dies is super funny 
okay Actually dies then
i am enjoying this so much 
SIR PENTIOUS CLUTCH 💥💥
adam is the best character in the whole fuckinh show him oneshotting pentious is hilarious . i know he goes to heaven and doesn’t rlly die i think 
what happened to the angels fighting with reckless abandon??vaggie is getting her shit rocked
GET FUCKED LUTE
ewww adam is a white guy.ew put the mask back on 
lucifer and adam interaction this is just peak
why aren’t the angels going after the rest of hell once they realize that they’re screwed 
adam without the mask is fugly
HE .HE DIES ??WHAY YHE FUCK
the hotel:(
“the ultimate sacrifice” i love pentious a lot but HE DIDNT DO SHIT BRO 😭
i choose to believe that lilith divorced lucifer because lucifer was a gay man and she was a lesbian
why is cherri a main character now i dony. ew
alastor is alive ! boo
bro thinks he’s jack skeleton 
husk being mad when he sees that alastor is alive is funny 
WHAT THE FUCK 
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VOX GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HIM
sir pentious gets into heaven :) thaht makes me happy 
season finale! this was a phenomenal episode to end of a good series, though ill be real i don’t know if having a second season is a good idea. most if not all of the conflicts are resolved among the main cast. ending it off with pentious getting into heaven is amazing though. episode is a 9/10 it was funny and engaging and really fun all around.
overall score for the series is a 7.5/10 i really enjoyed it 
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perpetualexistence · 3 hours
Text
Slumbering Pride
Alenoah Week Day 7: Free Day! (Demon AU)
Alejandro is finally, finally close to beating José at something. He's in his junior year, and universities are already scouting him out thanks to his name, his academic prowess, and his athletic prowess.
They did the same for José when he was about to graduate. The difference is he had five schools attempt to recruit him.
Alejandro has six.
José can't let this stand. If Alejandro officially gets six offers, then he'll know José isn't perfect. He'll start trying harder to beat José in things. And worse, he might actually win if he's proven himself capable of it.
José needs to do something about it, so he comes to the most obvious solution.
He summons a demon.
(Rest under read more because it's long)
Demons are an open secret. They were confirmed to be real a while back, though are mostly bound by the deals they must make in order to maintain a foothold on the human realm. An unbound demon is a dangerous thing, and often happens if the person making the deal is tricked into breaking their side of it.
Demons are known to do everything possible to do this, or at least cause havoc in whatever capacity their bounds enable them to. It's forbidden and illegal for anyone to summon one without proper qualifications. (There's still some summonings that do happen after all, demons are quite useful so long as you're careful).
Still, humans are naturally curious creatures, and have found multiple ways of spreading this knowledge as best as they can. Demon summoning is uncommon, but it still happens. So much that children are taught what to do if they believe they're encountering a demon.
Most sane people know better than to risk entering any contract with a demon. But there are always those desperate enough, or stupid enough, to try.
Getting his hands on a book on demon summoning is child's play for someone with José's family connections. He doesn't care what kind of demon he summons, so long as he summons one that will do the job he wants. He can sweet talk them into giving him the best deal possible just as he sweet talks anyone else.
As he finishes the summoning, his limbs grow heavier. It is constant agony to keep himself standing. His thoughts grow fuzzy as he struggles to remember what he was so focused on. He isn't quite sure why he bothers.
It would be much easier to sit down and rest. What was he so worried about, again? It couldn't have been so important if he's forgotten. His eyes droop to a close as he lets out a sigh of relief he had been holding back for so, so long.
"Wow, you're seriously pathetic if you're this affected by my summoning."
José snapped out of his stupor to see a teenager staring back at him. He was a couple of inches shorter than José and could only be described as a breathing fashion disaster.
José could have stopped there, but he couldn't ignore the horns atop the demon's head, the wings pressed against his back, the tail lightly tapping the ground. His arms were folded as he tapped his clawed foot impatiently.
José was expecting something much more imposing than...this. He'd laugh if had less control of himself.
"I would like to make a deal with you-"
"Could have fooled me with your craiglist ad." Noah said, glancing at the circle underneath him. "It's so generic it screams 'I'm not going to put you in a van and drive you to an undisclosed location, I promise.'"
José could feel a headache coming on. "I am going to make a deal with you, demonio." He needed to regain control of this conversation, fast.
"Never said I wouldn't make one. What do you want?"
"I would like for you to stop my brother from getting too far ahead in life. At the very least, I want to make sure that he can never surpass me. In any way. Can you do that?"
"Depends on what I get in return."
The two end up negotiating until they settle on a deal: Noah makes sure that Alejandro can never surpass José, and in return Noah gets to take his ability to dream. José can do without a few dreamless nights.
That's how Alejandro finds himself waking up in the morning with a demon that was only as tall as halfway up his knee staring at him from the foot of his bed.
Alejandro instinctively kicks the smaller boy out of panic, sending a very unhappy demon crashing into a wall. When they've both recovered, Noah explains exactly what's going on.
He's here to pretty much haunt and sabotage Alejandro, José's the one who sent him because he's a dick, and this is just going to be their life now.
After Alejandro processes the fact that his brother truly hates him this much as to risk both of their lives to a demon, he asks why Noah would bother to tell him all of this. He doesn't say it out loud, but he knows that a demon could absolutely make his life a living hell. He's expecting insidious manipulations and life threatening accidents.
And this demon is making any sabotage more difficult by confessing that he's going to sabotage Alejandro? Something isn't adding up.
That's when Noah points out the big flaw in Jose's brilliant plan.
Because he hadn't been concerned about what kind of demon he summoned, he pretty much set up a job posting for a demon from any of the seven sins to snatch. Noah just happened to get there first.
So what does José get for not being specific?
A sloth demon.
Noah plans to do the bare minimum of what's required for his job. He doesn't care to bother with the effort of lying to Alejandro about his purpose here. The only reason he bothered to take this job in the first place is because the human realm has two things that the demon realm doesn't: Decent places to nap, and good books.
The only thing he hadn't counted on is how small he'd end up being once bonded with Alejandro. His size is dependent on the amount of sloth Alejandro has. The teen who gives it his all in every activity he does.
Noah's got his work cut out for him.
Alejandro tries seeing if he can use his own silver tongue to have Noah quit the job before he gets started, but with no luck. Noah doesn't feel like leaving. And he's not about to break the deal on his side because then he be forced back into the demon realm and unable to return unless directly summoned.
Alejandro would very much like to try just trapping the demon somewhere, then go to his brother to confront him about doing this. But he knows better than to act before fully knowing what Noah is capable of. And he wouldn't be surprised if his brother tried to gaslight him into thinking Noah wasn't real. He still doesn't quite believe it himself.
He does start to believe that having Noah around will be a continuous little nightmare. He's constantly offering snide remarks. He keeps trying to convince Alejandro to stop trying so hard and just be lazy.
Alejandro's not as aggravated as the attempt than he is at the fact that there's zero tact to it. Noah isn't even TRYING to be subtle. He could think of a thousand ways to do Noah's job better, except telling him that would then make Alejandro's life worse.
It gets to the point where he's so upset he just throws a pillow at Noah. The demon squawks as he gets hit, and Alejandro gets immense satisfaction from this. Alejandro knows this is a terrible idea, but he's angry at this whole situation and needs to take it out on somebody. Might as well do it on the one successfully set him off.
Alejandro gets his karma for snapping at Noah when he goes to sleep.
His dream starts off as he would expect it to. Until suddenly he finds something knocked against his back. He finds himself pinned to his stomach, and when he struggles to get out from under it, he finds the tip of a very familiar tail at a much larger scale pressing down on him.
"I thought 'Burromuertos conquer whatever they set their minds to'. We're in your mind. So get up."
Alejandro can feel Noah's smirk though he can't see it. He refuses to give Noah the satisfaction of admitting defeat and continues to fight against the tail.
Tears are not pricking his eyes as he's made to feel insignificant in the last safe place that was truly his.
As he can't feel tired in his dream, he continues to struggle. Noah admits that Alejandro's probably the most stubborn human he's ever met.
Alejandro snaps that he's a Burromuerto, and he does not quit. He cannot, and will not quit. Ever. No matter the competition, no matter the cost. Noah's just another obstacle in his way. But he will beat his brother in something for once in his life.
He does his best to hide the desperation in his need to believe that this is true. He's hidden it well in the past, but Noah is a perceptive sort and hears it anyways.
Noah asks what could type of win could possibly be so important that it was worth the risk of his brother summoning a demon on him.
"I'm about to beat him in the amount of colleges offering me admissions by one." Alejandro gloated, pride swelling in his chest.
The tail pressing down on him suddenly reached underneath him, and flipped him over like he was a roach. He looked up to see Noah's face free of apathy for the first time. Instead, it was replaced with one of...pity.
"You can't seriously be proud of that."
Alejandro grit his teeth. "I am."
"You have to know how that sounds, right?"
"Please do enlighten me about what you think that sounds like."
"It sounds pathetic! You're going above and beyond and you're seriously caught up in something as stupid as one-upping your brother?"
"Don't you dare try to act as if you know any better tú hijo de su puta madre," Alejandro snarled, the tears returning to his eyes. "I don't care what you are. You know nothing about me and my family. You can say and do whatever you like but I will not cow to any of your attempts to degrade me." His snarl turned into something of a deranged chuckle. "Do your worst. This is nothing new. I will still come out on top and grind you into dust."
Noah was silent for a long time. As he started to move his mouth to speak, Alejandro found himself snapping awake. He looked around to see Noah still in his room. He's looking at him with incredibly impassive indifference. Alejandro won't see anything else in his gaze. At least the demon was smart enough not to try running his mouth again.
Alejandro stormed off so he could grab a book to study while he ate breakfast.
Noah mostly stays out of Alejandro's way, but Alejandro can feel him watching. He doesn't care where Noah scampers off to during the day. He refuses to acknowledge the little monster.
He throws himself deep into studying. He's spending more time awake so he can study and avoid having to fall asleep. Beauty sleep be damned, he does not want to deal with Noah again.
When he does sleep, he dreams. He can always feel a looming presence behind him, and he says nothing of it.
He does his best to hide his exhaustion from the rest of his family. José notices and pounces on it. Alejandro continues to deny it, because he will not give his brother the satisfaction of having won yet another battle.
All the stress and exhaustion comes to a head after a few nights. Alejandro hopes for a dreamless night, and is instead greeted by a nightmare.
He's attending one of his parent's many galas, and his outfit is atrocious. He's sweating profusely. His hair is plastered to his face. Try as he might, it refuses to go back into place. He's a truly unforgiveable sight. He tries to sneak off so he can find something else to change into. Despite his appearance, no one is paying any attention to him. He finds out why as he goes through a guest.
He's running as fast as he can now. He's going through so many people, everything is blurring together. It all comes to a halt as he crashes into a wall he can't see. As he falls backwards, he sees that he's now in a terrarium.
Outside, his much larger brother and parents are talking to each other. Alejandro can't make out what they're saying, but he can see them laughing. He gets up and bangs on one of the walls. His brother flicks his gaze towards his little brother.
Finally, a break. He know Jose hates him, but he'd never truly hurt Alejandro. Alejandro knows this. He has to believe this. Jose could hurt him physically, mentally, and emotionally, but even he wouldn't leave Alejandro to die.
He'd just deliver a potential vehicle of death to Alejandro's doorstep, is all.
Their parents are gone, and it's just him and Jose now.
"Relájate, hermanito," Jose cooes as if he's talking to an infant, "Nadie espera que seas más de lo que eres. ¡Deberías estar agradecido de haber estado cerca de una fracción de mis logros! Sabes exactamente lo que te mereces por eso, ¿no?"
Jose lifts the lid of the terrarium up. He reaches a massive hand down towards Alejandro. Alejandro wants to climb up and away, but the walls are too smooth. They're closing in. All that there is is the hand, ready to grab him, crush him, throttle him, any variety of things.
He can do nothing to stop it. He was a fool for ever thinking he could. He closes his eyes shut in an instinctive fear he can't hold back anymore. He's hoping he can bring himself to fight. He's silently begging for his brother to be merciful enough to make it quick.
The hand that grabs him is much more gentle than he expects. He struggles to be free, but the grip is tight enough to stop much movement. There is no squeeze. It is weight without malice, and cool to the touch.
He feels something the size of a tree trunk gently brush his hair away from his face. He lets out a gasp of air he had been craving for far too long. He tries to open his eyes. He feels the tears sweat from earlier is sticking his eyelids shut. He shudders. His arms are pinned, so he can't move to fix wipe his eyes.
Suddenly, he's being moved higher and higher. He hears steady flapping from above. The pace is slow enough to where the wind is just a gentle breeze soothing his clammy skin.
He feels his captor descending, and he's unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He wipes his eyes and stands up. He's dressed to the nines. He sees other figures roaming about. He can see how they sneak a glance his way, then happily chitter amongst themselves.
"Mijo, no te quedes ahí parado," his mother says as she suddenly slips through the crowd. This is how he remembers this is a dream. His mother would never refer to him so colloquially, "Entra, tu juramento está por comenzar."
"Un momento, madre. Hay algo que debo hacer primero."
She clucks her tongue, another informal mark of unreality, and leaves him be.
Alejandro turned around, but all he could see were faceless guests.
"You can come out. I know you're here." Alejandro felt the ground behind him quake slightly, and turned to look up at Noah.
"Sure you want to waste your time with me? The dream isn't going to last forever."
"What did you do?"
"Took you out of your own nightmare. Brought you into one of José's dreams. And before you throw a fit, this is one he already let me have. He's nowhere here."
"Alright, that brings me to my next question. Why?"
"Is it really so hard to believe I did something out of the goodness of my miserable excuse of a heart?"
"Sí."
"You're ridiculous," Noah groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I did it because it's easier to get you sleeping if you actually want to sleep. Happy with that answer? Or do you want me to pull out my five step plan for sabotaging you?"
"Well, a little presentation would go a long way~" Alejandro teased. He was finally comfortable enough to find his own voice again.
"And congratulations, you've made me regret doing anything. I'm going back to insulting you the second you wake up."
"You can try, and it still won't work."
"It will. Now go on, you've got the rest of this dream and that's it."
Alejandro left Noah to go explore the rest of the ceremony of achieving the same position of his father as a Spanish ambassador.
He wakes up to find a small Noah clinging onto his chest. The demon had somehow managed to wriggle his way under one of Alejandro's arms and was using it as a blanket. He's still fast asleep. Alejandro tests how asleep by moving his arm slightly. Noah clings tighter to the arm, but otherwise doesn't stir.
Alejandro could just stand up. That would definitely force the smaller boy awake. ...But, as loathe as he is to admit, Noah did help him. So, possibly for the first time in his life, he decides to sleep in rather than wake up for his daily morning routine.
Noah grows a few inches, matching the height of Alejandro's knee, during their nap.
The two are still antagonistic towards each other, but it's nowhere near as bad as when they first met. Alejandro lords over Noah in the waking world, and Noah returns the favor in the dreaming. There is one added wrinkle, though.
Thanks to Alejandro's moment of weakness, Noah has gained the ability force Alejandro into taking a nap. It can only happen when he's already feeling tired, whether physically or mentally thanks to studying, or if he's doing a mindless task.
It's some of the best sleep Alejandro has ever had.
It aggravates him to no end.
When Noah isn't trying to convince Alejandro to give up on his dreams, he's either sleeping, or is reading one of the many books in the Burromuerto library if that's where Alejandro has decided to study.
Alejandro notices Noah struggling when he tries to get books to read due to his size. He offers to grab a book for Noah to bribe him into leaving Alejandro alone for this study session. Noah immediately starts taking advantage of this by questioning Alejandro about what kinds of books he has. Noah might as well get a book based on its contents rather than its weight.
The two start getting into book recommendations. Alejandro sweetens the deal by gifting Noah one of the books he no longer reads to get peace for as long as it takes for Noah to read the book. Noah accepts immediately and will cling to the book with his entire body when Alejandro tries to help him lift the book.
No. This is Noah's book now. No one else is allowed to touch it.
He's so possessive because human things are hard to come by in the demon realm. Only greed demons are able to carry human things back to the demon realm, so they've of course got a monopoly of jacked up prices. The only exception is if a demon properly owns a human thing. Or in this case, is gifted one.
So yeah, Noah will agree to let Alejandro touch it to carry it, but he's watching that thing like a hawk.
A few weeks pass like this. Eventually, José butts his way into Alejandro's life as he usually does. He gloats that their parents are planning to host a party for José to start making connections now as he's properly starting on his journey to becoming an ambassador.
The second he's gone, Noah and Alejandro start bonding by shit talking José.
Alejandro justifies trying so hard so that he can finally one up José. It's why he won't give in to sloth. Nothing good ever comes of doing nothing. Besides, it's one of the weakest of the sins, so it will be easy enough to overcome.
Noah argues that sloth isn't as terrible as Alejandro makes it out to be. It means actually getting rest when everything is overwhelming rather than chugging on through to crash and burn later. Taking a step back and doing nothing can lead to new ideas popping up because there is no longer stress preventing them. Hell, some innovation comes from humans being lazy and wanting a better way to do things.
Like any of the other sins, it's only bad when done in excess. And it can be worse than just being lazy. Having too much sloth means having too much apathy. Horrible people get away with atrocities when enough people are too lazy to do anything about it. It means nothing changes because nobody wants to change.
Noah reveals that underestimating sloth is exactly how José has absolutely screwed himself. José has given up his ability to dream. He thinks the only definition of that are his literal dreams at night, and that's what Noah has been feeding on so far.
They also mean his dreams about being an ambassador. His dreams of more. Dreams are heavily linked with desire and ambition. By the time Noah's done with him, José will be nothing more than a walking husk. He'll do the bare minimum needed to survive, but nothing more. Knowing he should long for something else but being unable to.
The only reason he hasn't done so immediately is if he does take it fully, it means his deal would be over, and no more being in the human realm.
This does remind Alejandro that he is having a casual conversation with a demon. Despite their current pleasantries, it would be a terrible thing to watch Noah get more creative in his interpretations of his deal with José. It's safer to keep him entertained than to let his mind wander.
It doesn't hurt that entertaining Noah has led to riveting conversation.
Still, he comes up with an idea to control Noah, and get himself some much deserved revenge. He asks if he could actually make a deal with Noah to get back at José.
Unfortunately Noah can't. Not because he doesn't want to. He's got no issues with taking José down a peg. He's just unable to make a deal with more than one human at a time. There are conflict of interest rules in place. Even if there weren't, he's still a teenager. He's not powerful enough to make multiple deals at a time yet.
But he knows a demon who'd be willing to help out.
Her name's Eva. She's a wrath demon. She's pretty straightforward. Tell her exactly what you want, and she won't try to screw with you so long as you don't do the same to her.
Alejandro is concerned about what her price would be, but he isn't going to say that directly. Instead, he comes up with a different plan to solve this in a way better than his brother had.
He asks about what kinds of things that Eva likes. Noah did mention that human objects were more difficult to come by in the demon world, yes? Alejandro could give something concrete rather than abstract. Everyone wins.
Noah doesn't say anything, but Alejandro can tell that Noah is impressed that he remembered something Noah had said. He must not have much chance to show off his knowledge in the demon realm.
Noah tells him that she likes music. All she's been able to scavenge is a very old, shitty MP3. Phones are more easy to come by, but with no service they're practically worthless. Besides, Eva's chill when she's not fully committing her job.
His only condition is Alejandro's going to have to agree to forget how to summon Eva after they've done the ritual. Eva doesn't like just anybody summoning her, and Noah respects that enough to not share it with others without her permission.
Alejandro agrees.
When the final word is spoken, he waits. And waits. and waits. It feels like he's been waiting for at least an hour. He's going to tap a hole in the floor with anticipation at this rate.
It can't be taking this long. The longer he waits, the longer José gets to prance around consequence-free. He deserves no peace for what he's put Alejandro through. His lips curl in disgust at the thought of his brother getting rewarded for all of his misdeeds. He wants to call his brother over, right here, right now. Just so he can throttle José himself-
"What do you want?" asked the demon who now stood in front of him. Her arms were crossed, and she looked annoyed to even be looking at him. Alejandro had to shake his head to head to let go of the pent-up rage he had suddenly developed.
"Hey iron woman." Noah commented from his current perch on a nearby bookshelf. Eva turned her attention away from Alejandro to see the smaller demon.
"Noah." Eva commented as she acknowledged him with a nod. Noah's face was still set with apathy, and Eva's with annoyance.
Yet Noah was wrapping his tail around his leg to prevent it from wagging as furiously as Eva's was.
"So, what do you want?" Eva repeated. The edge to her tone was dulled this time.
"I would like to make a deal with you. My brother is going to be at the center of a gala recently. I know he doesn't think as highly of others as he will pretend, so I would just like your help in making him more...honest about his true feelings." Noah sighed at this answer.
"You want a truth spell?" Eva asked. She turned to pay attention to Noah before Alejandro could form a response. "Why would you summon me for this?"
"He wants you to make his brother throw the rage fit to end all rage fits in front of an international audience."
"Then why didn't he just say that?"
"Because he doesn't know how to follow instructions."
"Then why'd you bring me a stupid one?" Eva asked Noah.
Alejandro had to bite his lip to stop himself from interrupting. He was being both ignored and insulted. He couldn't let this be his impression on anybody.
However, Noah knew this demon, while he did not. She clearly valued Noah's opinion over his own, so countering his opinion now would only serve to shut her off further from responding to the Spaniard.
"He has his moments," Noah replied, "Plus, you're going to like what he has to offer."
"Well?" Eva asked, turning her attention back to Alejandro.
"As Noah so tactfully implied, I do plan to offer a fair price," Alejandro said, glad to have control of the conversation again. He pulled out a small device he'd performed quite a bit of research to get his hands on. "I've heard that you are in need of more music. I have managed to find a top of the line mp3 player-"
"How many songs?" Eva interrupted. She was looking directly at Alejandro now.
"If I had to guess? A little over 20,000."
Eva's tail immediately dropped. He could see her mind move from processing that number, to grappling it, to understanding it. Her eyes shone with anticipation that she didn't bother to hide. Her tail was practically causing a minor tornado. Her hands were half clenched and shaking as if she was five seconds away from snatching the prized jewel Alejandro held in his hands.
"Ice Nine Kills."
"Hm?"
"Ice Nine Kills. Silver Scream 2: Welcome to Horrorwood. We're moving up from there. Now gimme."
"Well, hold on. We still need to work out some of the finer details-"
"Fine, sure, we have the deal, whatever you want now give it to me."
Alejandro had to hide the smirk that was threatening to form on his face. He had no idea his offer would work this perfectly. All he had to do was seal-
"Eva!" Noah snapped. "You just offered a human 'whatever they want' in a deal."
"...Oh." Eva realized.
"Yeah, 'oh'." Noah glanced at Alejandro. "And don't think I didn't see that look in your eyes. I'm proctoring your deal."
"But-" both Eva and Alejandro tried to argue.
"It's happening."
With that, the two negotiated for a fair deal. Eva could stay in the human realm specifically to download as many songs as she wanted for her mp3 player, and to help Alejandro in his revenge. After that, she'd go back, and the mp3 player would be hers forever.
They both agree to it, and the deal is set. Noah and Eva spend some time catching up while Eva searches for music. Noah insists on catching up in private, which he obliges. After two failed attempts to eavesdrop.
The three of them plan exactly how to best humiliate José. Alejandro hadn't known quite what to expect with Eva, but he was pleasantly surprised. Her ideas were simple, direct, and brutal. They contrasted with Alejandro and Noah's more elaborate plans until they came to a consensus.
The party happens, and everything is set in place. Eva is invisible to everyone else, and is preparing elsewhere. Alejandro just needs to stay away from his brother so he doesn't realize something is amiss with Noah.
Alejandro knows that this is the perfect time to put himself out there. Especially since José's reputation is about to be shattered. He'll be remembered as the good Burromuerto this time around. Talking comes as second nature to him. All he has to do is talk, and just ignore Noah.
Noah, who's not having a good time at this party. Despite being invisible, his eyes are darting around everywhere as if they could see him. Thanks to being invisible, he's constantly having to avoid feet stepping on him. He's sticking as closely as he can to Alejandro, though he's not commenting on it at all.
Alejandro excuses himself to go to a more quiet part of the mansion forbidden to guests. Noah's visibly more relaxed as they get farther away from the crowd. But he does ask what Alejandro's doing.
Alejandro attempts to lie about being the one who needed space, but Noah shuts him down since he could see Alejandro lighting up when he talked to others. Alejandro will confess to noticing Noah and leaving since he knew Noah would follow. Their new partnership won't do well if one of them is in a near state of panic.
...Consider it returning the favor for the nightmare, if that helps.
Noah's quiet as he recognizes that this human is showing the closest thing to compassion that he can muster. He wants to say something, but the time of José's humiliation is nearing, and he wants to be there to see it. Alejandro makes his way back inside. He keeps Noah calm in the crowd by having him perch on his shoulder, and quietly making fun of the guests as they pass.
Eventually, José's breakdown begins. It works gloriously. He's swearing at other ambassadors. He's throwing things. At one point he's about to let loose of of the skeletons in the Burromuerto's family closet, but he's dragged away before he can. Alejandro has to hide his laughter, though Noah has no need to.
Unfortunately, it means that Noah has broken the deal on his end because he's intentionally let Alejandro beat Jose in something: not causing an international scandal. He gets pulled back to the demon realm and as punishment, can't answer any summons for at least a year unless it's for him specifically.
Alejandro's heartbroken to have Noah ripped away from him. He'd grown rather fond of having the demon around. He can't ask Eva for more help because she disappeared once José's scandal ended. He tries to find the book José used to summon Noah, but it was shredded. José was smart enough to guess that a demon had something to do with his irrational behavior.
Alejandro spends the next few weeks obsessing over finding the right summoning circle. His grades are slipping the tiniest amount, and he can't bring himself to care. He forces himself to sleep. He hopes that will somehow increase his chances of finding Noah. They feel empty without Noah to watch. He has no idea how to find one for Noah specifically, though he certainly does try. He settles for the next best thing: trying a generic summoning circle with the first gift Alejandro gave him as a conduit. Maybe he could at least find a demon who'd be willing to make a deal to help him get in touch with Noah.
This is incredibly dangerous and stupid, but the risk is worth it.
His stomach growls as he finishes the circle. He's been so focused on his work. He doesn't remember the last time he's eaten. He could leave to grab a quick bite-
No, no. He knows what this is. These thoughts aren't his. They can't be Noah's either. Noah's never cared much for-
stuffing his face until he can take no more. His body is a temple, and it deserves to be lavished. He's salivating, and must force himself not to run for the kitchen.
He's rewarded for his discipline with a large, blond demon who calls himself Owen.
He explains the situation to Owen, but no sooner does he utter Noah's name that Owen lights up.
"Ooooh, YOU'RE AL!!!"
Owen immediately starts going on about how Noah's his best friend. Which confuses Alejandro. He'd assumed Eva was Noah's best friend. She was stoic, blunt, and had common sense. She made sense.
This oaf with no volume control did not.
Owen keeps going on regardless of Alejandro's thought process. He completely outs Noah as being a mess thinking he'd never see Alejandro again. Noah was sleeping even harder than was normal for him, he was talking about Alejandro a lot you name it!
So of course Owen will be happy to get the two connected again!
Owen does want to give Alejandro Noah's summoning circle/number, but Alejandro did summon him so it does have to be some kind of deal. Uh...What's the nearest snack he's got? Owen'll take that.
He shares the information, then immediately leaves to go tell his little buddy that Alejandro plans to summon him.
Alejandro changes the circle to summon Noah with fervor.
When Alejandro summons Noah he feels as if every worry he's ever had has melted away. He wants to lay his head on Noah's lap and look up at him. He wants to reach up and tease his fingers through Noah's hair. He wants to trick Noah into leaning down so they can share a kiss and shift to nuzzling together. No more fighting to be on top. Just this once.
They're both blushing when Noah does get summoned because uh they both felt THAT. Neither of them meant that to be the way to confess but uh, whoops.
The two make a deal: "I'll help you get revenge on Jose until you're satisfied (knowing that with Alejandro, he never will be), and you'll let me stay in the human realm for as long as I want."
"Change that to for as long as I live."
"Still don't trust me?"
"I have to put some limits on you mi gatito travioso. Besides, now I know you have an investment in keeping me alive."
"You're terrible."
"Says the demon."
There are many ways to seal a deal with a demon.
They seal this one with a kiss.
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runawaymun · 1 month
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There’s a study going around rn about how ADHD may have evolved in order to help hunter gatherers collect more food without exhausting resources, and that’s an interesting theory! But I take umbrage with the scientists’ (and article’s) reasoning for why this theory was conceived of:
“This MUST be useful to us as a species, or else it would have evolved out by now.” (They literally said that.)
Like is it just me or is this an incredibly ableist way of viewing the world. Maybe I need to go touch grass or something, but it’s rubbing me the wrong way.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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I can't express to you how much I adore Weaver Márquez. The ghost in the static. A mystery not a puzzle. A person gone but still taking up space. A thing still leaving marks after it's gone.
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adore-gregor · 1 month
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ugh
#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk#just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself#i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking#obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best#even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth#and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently#and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself#but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that#but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much#i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades#and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general#but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes#like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's#like i could do better i could study harder#unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol#what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more#and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass#realistically i don't think it was like that#and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b#which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again#altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank#and it's not difficult things even#like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder#i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement#what it feels like
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1tsjusty0u · 1 month
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actually while im at it. flowey undertale. im getting his stupid fanclub pin because unfortunately i am a fan
#hes literally just an 8 year old trying to be. not cool but Smart and Dark#like on one hand he knows more about the game due to resetting and hes also soulless which on one hand sort of mirrors players and rheir bo#redom but also it could range from depression to apathy though thats my hc#so he thinks hes smarter than everyone else#and also that 8 year old has. so much baggage#his alarm clock dialogue.#mistaking the player for chara#you know the drill#plus his personality#while im glad undertale had the ending it did#i feel like asriel ppprobably couldve been handled better </3#but thats in the past!!! yeag#ALSO alsoalso flowey parallels to ralsei i think its super neat#i do wonder if more parallels will show up. like flowey getting bored of a game he plays a million times vs ralsei which he doesnt seem to#be bored? he does know the game far better than kris susie or even the player do#so i wonder if thatll come up? floweys boredom vs ralseis unboredom. keeping them in a world thatll forever loop if the player doesnt let g#o#seeing the same thinf a bunch of times and getting sick of it vs hearing the same thing over and over and loving it#please not theres not any basis for this ralsei doesnt seem to really… fit into that#its more of escapism and him taking it to the farthest he can (avoiding negative thoughts even when they need to be confronted. ignoring th#e elephant in the room) which is how he mightve had to cope? or maybe its just because of the whole game aspects#also ralsei doesnt see other darkners as as important as the lightners/kris/mmmaybe us?????????? we dont know if he knows#like how flowey puts most other monsters beneath him except for chara/by proxy frisk and us#ralsei doesnt see himself as above the darkners but he sees susie and kris above them. i think its the same for flowey#though. flowey is debatable i think he might put himself above others considering genocide#yeah!!!!!!! i love gaymes
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drewsaturday · 2 months
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yeah two cakes theory but something about being in... small to medium sized fandoms makes doing the same thing someone else did feel like a social violation honestly?
i immediately lose all motivation to do a thing if someone else does it first because to me, it'll come off like i'm shamelessly copying them or that i thought i could do it better.
(sometimes i probably could, but i'd rather not come off that rude by actually doing so even if i'd had no idea someone else was working on it when the idea hit me.)
#txt#i should probs get into bigger fandoms where there's such a sheer volume of stuff going on no one would even NOTICE similar works j;alskdjf#but alas the brainrot only hits for environments where i can't enjoy making anything without worrying this will happen#if i'm not contributing anything 'new' i simply cannot justify the energy#can you tell i just saw some art of a niche idea i wanted to draw for one of my small fandoms j;LKJajl;sdfjk#in this case though that person did it far better than i could so i can't even be disappointed#just like. ough#this is a big reason i havent rly vidded anything lately too#the couple soooorta recent fandoms of mine i wanted to vid for were more medium sized and someone ended up using the exact song#i was working on for that character so i noped out bc the copying concerns hit even harder in those cases#i need to go do something original sometime ever in my entire life so my creative existence stops being about filling a#niche no one else is in so i feel like i have a tiny little place i slot into or belong in or whatever#because the whole nature of fandom means 'mine' does not exist#and it feels like even if someone outright DOES copy you...#you have no right to be upset about it because you're all playing with someone else's dolls anyway#(see: someone literally doing this after i posted about an idea i was writing and them interacting w the post so they DEF SAW IT#without crediting/involving me in the finished thing at all and saying it was their idea#i never want to do that to other people or come off like i am lol)
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