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#I know I shouldnt be making it so personal and I feel wrong for reacting so strongly but fuck man
xhanelia · 4 months
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Okay so this was the ask but when i deleted the post, it got deleted too. I tried to write the post again as much as i remember. All of my luck aside, i have my first official anon now i am so happy!! Thank you for the request, green anon! Hope you like it 💚
How would Sova react to a mute reader
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I think he would ask Sage or Brim about what kind of a person you are before trying to talk to you, but lets just think that you were introduced in the middle of a mission. (absolutely not to make the fic longer and maybe interesting)
In the missions, Brim always wants an "understood" after his commands on the field. To confirim that his voice went to the person and make sure they did not get hurt. When Brim gave you information about the building and told you what you should do, you did not reply. Sova got scared that the new agent might have got caught or hurt but seeing the steril face of Brim, like this is what was supposed to be, he got a bit confused and went to his part of the mission. Trying not to think about it.
Later on, when you return with the information you have on your hands (witch is nothing but a little flash drive) he sighed in relief that you didnt got hurt. With the smile on your face, covered mostly by the mask you wore, you handled the flash drive to Chyper. He thanked you in his own language to show intimacy to the new agent. Well, to you.
Also Cypher was never leaving your side after your first mission. Being a new agent means that he will follow you everywhere like a tail stuck to your back. (This is cannon btw.)
He glared you two a bit. One side hoping you wouldnt turn out to be his friend or such, the other wants to get to know you. Either way, it was the first time the moral of HQ, Sova, didnt talked to the new agent by his choice. He was intimidated by your similarities with Chyper.
At this point, Sage needed to ask Sova if he was okay. She understood that he did not liked secretive persons but you were far off from Chyper. She convinced him to at least say hello to you while passing by. But he would still avoid any conversations with you.
You nod everytime he greeted you. Sage told you that Sova (a tall blonde man that has a prostetic eye, she said. Pretty much noticable.) would cheer you up if you feel down or lonely. But it was like the other way around. At least near you. When you look at him with other agents, he was like how Sage described him but when he notices you, his smile drops down a bit.
At some point, you decided to ask him about why he was like this to you. Gathering your courage, getting yourself a pen and a little notebook, you began to search for him.
He was in the tech room. Making adjusments to his bow and arrows. He looked up to you from where he was sitting. You waved to him as a hello, he nodded to you back. Thinking maybe you dont want to talk to him at all.
You got out your pen and notebook, wrote something to it and slowly pushed it to him. He looked at the notebook and to you, then again to the notebook. Reading what was written on it.
"I am so sorry if i did something wrong to you."
He stood still after reading the paper for a good 10 seconds then looked up to you. Such simple words but it hit Sova so hard. Now getting that you cannot talk, it feels like the guilt was building up in his chest.
"You were mute?" It sound like he was scared to even ask this question. You slowly nod with a broke smile. It was visible in your eyes.
He stood up. "No... i am sorry. I should have tried to get to know you at first but i was stuck to the thought of you did not wanted to talk to me. I... shouldnt have judged you beforehand."
Even though he kept the Chyper intimacy you have to himself, you understood his reasons and wrote again to the paper.
"Its okay. I hope we can be friends!"
He smiled at the paper. "Ofcourse." He said with relief. After everything, he is still blaming himself about his prejudices about you, but seeing you getting happy with his words is enough to convince him that it does not matter anymore.
He tries to learn sign language. Its like a form of a apologize to you. Afterall, you cannot talk to him through paper forever, can you? He will make up to you. He promises himself.
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td-yuri-takes · 1 month
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I LOVE SAMELLA...... read twinning with a twist and havent been the same since but they really do just work really well together if you think ab it. with both coming from bad family situations (only implied for ella tho i think) and needing everyone to like them all the time. sammy is really hurt that she's always painted in a bad light no matter how hard she tries to fix it, while ella doesnt realize how she comes across as annoying and that people dont really like her until sugar flat out tells her, and she starts spending so much time trying to get sugar to like her. its just interesting bc sammy feels defeated and ella is just determined to both be herself and be someone who everybody likes.(though, and this might just be pulling from twinning with a twist a lot, it does feel like she uses her princess fantasy as escapism. possibly partly bc shes Not oblivious i bet she realizes people dont like her that much, she just doesnt know what to do about it. if they dont like her when shes trying to be the perfect princess and polite and kind what is so bad about her that even if shes nice they dont want her?) sammy IS nice, and she doesnt hide it, but somehow ends up taking the fall for amy's behavior (even tho amy was outright awful to everyone?? this plot confused me so bad. but i guess scarlett and amy dont care, topher probably just doesnt care or Loves to stir the pot, max and rodney are probably too dense, and we know how jasmine reacted) and she has such a complex about it its Bad. i honestly love sammy i wish they treated her better. i think ella shouldve also had a last straw snap like sammy did, just absolutely go off on someone about why they dont like her. isnt she trying hard enough? whats wrong with her? and sammy might see that as inspiration and really admire ella for it, and spend more time together (without amy this is important.) then later maybe sammy asks ella for tips and she tells her that she seems like a really nice person !! and maybe likens sammy to a princess as well, because ella didnt have amy on her team influencing her perception of sammy. so that like shocks sammy and she realizes that if ella can do it she can, and if ella sees her as someone worthy just knowing Sammy, then maybe she is, and has worth on her own outside of amy. i love jasmine but i dont love the way she just lets it happen either. i think sammy believed jasmine when she said she was good, but couldnt help but feel like its only because she feels sorry for her, and not really based on her own merit because amy has never let sammy have anything for herself, not even her friendship with jasmine. so being on different teams from ella and still bonding could give them a chance to establish that connection without amy at all, which might make sammy feel more secure that ella truly means what shes saying. i think one of the conversations would happen after ella is voted off, and sammy would get mad, saying that ella was genuinely sweet and they couldnt see past the fact that she was also 'too weird', and then say her situation was similar in that they judge her on the surface of what amy tells them without ever trying to get to know her at all, and she tells amy shes done trying to compete with her. her worth shouldnt depend on whether amy or their mother thinks shes good. maybe this could also relate to ella's brief crush on dave, and how she feels betrayed by sky for being so excited when she was clearly upset about it when she thought they were friends, and she also realizes dave didnt fit the mold she wanted him to. i think sammy would comfort her after, and this shouldve been the start of ella accepting she cant spend her whole life in a fantasy or she wont make real connections. and later when they get together sammy might confess she worries about not being enough for ella, not being able to fit the princess life. but ella tells her that their relationship isnt a fantasy, its real. she wants to take it slow, and not put any expectations onto her. like, character growth. IDK sorry for the rant i just like them
this might just be my favorite thing
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ecoamerica · 21 days
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shinraapologist · 1 year
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im coming into your askbox now...! whats yr fave thing abt shinra? and do u have a fave official art of him? :3
I LOOOOOVE SHIIIIIIINRAAAAAAAAAA. I LOVE SHINRA. hes so handsome and perfect hes the most pathetic man alive i want to eat him i want to put him in a jar and shake him. he is the blorbo of all time. THIS IS SOOOOO LONG, THIS IS MY SHINRA THESIS. this is my shinra apologism bible. this is my shinra loving conversion propaganda.
shinra, at his core, is someone who loves so deeply and is so fucking traumatized and has such bad odds of overcoming it. he's been raised solely by shingen (someone remind me to talk abt test tube shinra) who has. no interest in shinras genuine care or wellbeing beyond an.... experimental context. hes trying to make a child into an accomplished surgeon.
this has consequences on the child.
i hc shinra as autistic (someone remind me to talk about who all in drrr is autistic. short answer they all are); specifically that he struggles with social cues, expectations, reading tone and situations, and emotional regulation and expressing his emotions "correctly". specifically, he over-emotes, to the point of theater at times. his neutral expression and tone of voice are overly excitable and positive, and he feels all his emotions very strongly and reacts as such.
already having trouble understanding what is and isnt socially acceptable (and the differences between different situations), being raised by shingen really fucks him over because he's given a rather.... broken moral and social framework. all the things you normally teach a child about right and wrong... shinra did not get those conversations.
as a child this doesnt bother him. he literally does not know any different. hes generally effervescent, hes a bright child and he loves his dad and he loves learning and he loves how cool shizuo is. he's never seen an operation done on someone who isn't under anesthesia and it bothers him in a way he doesnt have words to describe and his dad wants him to do it, and his dad is smart and he's supposed to listen to his dad and his dad says its okay, so its okay right? he doesnt like it, doesnt like how it feels to hurt the person he found on the boat- doesnt like how his dad doesnt think shes a person when shes right in front of him doing all the things a person does. but he doesn't know how to process that. the person from the boat seems a bit afraid of him after, even though she doesnt have the language to speak to him yet. he doesnt like that, either, although he cant put the words together to explain why.
he likes the girl. shes pretty, in a way he had absently found other girls and women pretty, the same way a flower or a very nice teapot is pretty. but this time, it catches a spark in him- she's captivating in a way none of the others ever have been. he likes how she carries herself, the way she interacts with the world, and he wants so badly to talk to her. so he does. he follows her all around their little house, although at first she's always in the room that used to hold a bunch of spare medical equipment but now holds a thin mat and a black motorcycle. he lets himself in without bothering to announce himself or ask, because hes never had to ask to go in here, and doesnt see any reason he shouldnt be now. sometimes, she shoes him away without fanfare. other times, she allows him to talk to her, chattering a million miles an hour about what hes learned in school or with his dad or what he's been doing out in the yard. she seems like shes listening, even if she never replies. she couldnt, obviously, she had no head. after a few weeks she begins to sometimes come with him when he tries to pull her by the hand around the house.
shinras not the type of kid to want to draw, so it's a few weeks before they reach a point in school where he has homework to take home. theyre learning to write, and although shinra has been reading at a level a few years above his age for a while, he hasn't written any- he's never had any need to. he drags the homework with him into the spare room to go bother his friend after school. she's interested in what he's doing; he can feel her watch him write his shaky pencil strokes as he traces the hirigana outlined on the paper. he explains them to her as she watches, having no idea she can't understand him yet. he proudly holds his finished assignment out to her and beams when she examines it closely. her hand hesitates as she reaches for the pencil; she pulls it back almost as soon as she begins. he thrusts it into her hands, excited that his friend wants to be part of what he's doing. he brings her a spare piece of copy paper and watches as she carefully copies his hirigana. he's happy, pointing to each one as she draws it and telling her which one it is. to him, it seems like a fun game. the next day, he steals a copy of yesterdays homework from the teachers desk when she isnt looking, and begins grabbing an extra copy of each assignment he gets. he and his friend do their homework together every day after school. she sits with him at the kitchen table to do it, now. each day, he does his first and tells her all about what it means. she picks up quickly- within months they both can write simple sentences, and now shinra can really talk to his friend.
once they begin being able to talk, the two are inseparable. shinra grabs an empty moleskin from his dad's office for her to write in, and the more she writes, the quicker she learns. she points to every new object they encounter, and shinra is happy to tell her what each one called. he wants her to come out with him into the yard, and she gestures at the wispy smoke rolling from her neck. he gathers a few hundred yen from random drawers and the pockets of his dad's laundry and the sidewalk on the way home from school and buys her the biggest sunhat they have at the department store the next time he and his dad go. she's happy, when he shows her.
shinra grows far too quickly into a teenager, still wickedly smart and still so deeply, wildly infatuated with celty. he tells her everything, and she tells him more and more, too, as the years go by. he's careful, now, to do all his homework with her and explain the concepts to her as he goes. it's extremely effective studying, and it motivates him to fully understand the material. he's beginning to understand the way he loves her, beginning to realize how lost he would feel without her. he knows he needs to keep her in his life. he also knows now his dad sometimes says and does things he dislikes. shinra operates entirely of his own desires, listening to his father when what shingen asks of him suits him and ignoring him when it doesn't. izaya had asked him once if he had any idea of right and wrong, and although shinra remembers the face izaya made when he told him he felt that anything that felt right must be right, he doesn't know what to make of it.
within another two years he knows he's in love with celty, has already confessed a dozen times. she always brushes him off, but he sees the way she's beginning to smoke up more when he says it. it reminds him of the blush he gets when she says something funny or is particularly cute to him. his love is big enough that it feels like it could burst from his chest. he has no idea what to do with it, how to show it in any semblance of a healthy way. he tries, he stumbles, and gets up and tries again. conversing with humans still confuses him- still cant read facial expressions, still cant understand the vocal inflection of others- but can read celty like an open book. he's beginning to feel less and less human, but he's not upset by it- he's never felt all too human to start.
the longer shingen is gone, the more shinra realizes how badly his father affected him. he begins to resent the man- resents him when he fumbles a social interaction and loses a well paying client, resents him when he does something he feels is right and sees celty hurt or sad. the resentment eats him, leaving him lost and adrift. every time he looks in the mirror he sees his father. his life, his passion, his income, his reputation- its all intertwined with shingen. he hates his father so much he begins to hate himself.
seeing celty come home from the first dollars meeting breaks something in him. he starts to blame his father, if only the rotten bastard hadn't done this to her- and pauses. shinras continued to lie to her too, he's just as responsible now as his father. the feeling makes him sick. he almost tells her then about saika, but the words catch in his throat, and they taste bitter when he swallows them.
that changes something in shinra- he's trying to be better, be kinder, question what he really feels is right and wrong. trying and stumbling and trying again. he forces the truth from his throat, tells celty what his father did, knows his four year old self couldnt stop shingen and his twenty three year old self does not need to continue to cover for him. the truth tastes just as bitter on his tongue as it did in his throat.
he begins standing up to shingen, bit by bit, always feeling he's falling short, always realizing too late when hes crossed a line. trying and stumbling and trying again.
when the stranger kisses him, and he feels a pinprick in his shoulder, all he can think of is the way celty jumped. her shock and pain swirl inside him as violently as she's chasing them- his celty, his celty- he needs to get back to his celty. saikas voice buzzes in his ears like a swarm of wasps but all he can think is celty celty celty-
he needs to find her. when his father hands him the sword the swarm of wasps in his brain swells to a roar and reverberates around his thoughts. celty celty celty- love celty- love- celty- love love love- his broken bones and torn ligaments scream against the flight of stairs to the rooftop backed by an orchestra of celty celty celty love you celty love love love love celty-
it was never a question of following her. shinra would have begged shizuo to throw him after her whether he'd had a plan or not- the sword that had slipped into his body was burning inside him and screaming a chorus, pulled itself to his palm and the sea of love love love celty- guided his arm, guided his thoughts, guided his heart and his soul. trying, and stumbling. doing what his father would have done- what his father already had. he cant help but to get up and try again. i love shinra because hes. fucked up and traumatized and still loves. loves imperfectly, loves messily and loudly and is loved in return. hes a work in progress, hes a horrible little man, hes a poor meow meow and a pathetic wet rat and i could talk about him for ten years. i could talk about his and celtys relationship for ten years. i think shinra as a character is massively underappreciated and massively mischaracterized. this only scratches the SURFACE of my thoughts. PLEASE feel free to ask me abt him he is my little bratz doll im rotating him in my mind at all times. i need to reblog this with my favorite official art tumblr is either overworked or my post is too long-
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kindnessisweakness2 · 2 years
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Perfect Chaos- PART 4
30 minutes later, Angel watched as Riley and Jake walked into the the clubhouse. All he wanted to do was to take her hand and leave with her. His stomach twisted nervously as they both approached him. Did Jake know about them? Is this where it all kicks off and Angel can finally tell her how he feels? "Hey guys." Riley spoke quietly, trying to avoid eye contact with Angel as much as she could. "Hey RyRy!" Lina grinned as she pulled her friend into a tight hug, sticking her middle finger up at Jake, and moving back to her place on Coco's lap. Rolling his eyes Jake didn't acknowledge the group. Giving Riley an anything but gentle nudge towards Angel, Jake glared at them both. "I think you have something to say." He prompted her. Riley's eyes widened in shock. He really was going to make her do this. Rileys heart broke a little more and her eyes softened as she looked at the man she cared for but would never be able to have. "Y-Yeah. S-S-Sorry for last night. I shouldn't have asked you for the lift home. I'm a stupid idiot and I should've just walked home. It won't happen again. I'm really really sorry Angel." Everyone fell silent, shocked at Riley’s apology. Angel shook his head as he watched Jakes smile widen. “Your not stupid. If he was any kind of man he wouldn’t leave his girl with no way of getting home safe.” Lina Spoke up, making Jake roll his eyes. “I had club stuff to take care of. There was a meeting. Riley knows club takes priority.” Riley stayed silent the entire time. She wasn’t getting involved with this argument, she knew she would pay for it later if she did. “I need to speak to some people. Stay here. Ill let you know when we can leave.” And with that Jake disappeared away from the group. Taking a deep breath, thankful that he was gone, Riley took a seat next to Lina & Coco and gratefully accepted the beer that Gilly Passed to her. “You shouldnt let him speak to you like that, RyRy.” Shaking her head, Riley scoffed at her best friend, the last few days shes had that many different emotions run through her heart she can’t take much more. She’d had enough. “Not everyone is lucky enough to have a perfect relationship. Your Boyfriend may think the sun shines out your arse but mine? Fuck, mine hates me. And he should. Because im a shitty person.” Sighing loudly as tears welled in her eyes threatening to spill over. “Just like my mom said. Riley-Jayne Atkins, the family fuck up.” Downing the last of her beer, she placed the empty bottle on the floor near the chair and got up. Silently making her way into the club house she made her way to the bathroom. 
“What the fuck?” Coco questioned as Riley walked off. “She needs to get the fuck away from him.” Lina nodded in agreement but stayed quiet. It was that moment, as the silence settled around the rest of the group that Lina realised how damaged her friend actually was. How much emotional damage she carried. Both from family and Jake’s inconsistent love. Angel couldnt believe it. He didnt know what was worse. Riley’s forced apology or Jakes attitude. Standing up without a word, Angel followed in the direction Riley went. He wasn’t going to let her leave without speaking to her. Last night meant so much to him and waking up to her gone hurt him more than he would like to admit. He couldn’t walk away, not now. 
And there she was, leaning against the wall in the hallway that divided the bathroom from the stock room, staring intently at her phone. “Hey.” Angel spoke softly trying not to startle her. Goosebumps flooded Riley’s arms as she heard his voice. Even though she knew how wrong it was for her to feel this way, as much as she tried to resist it, her body reacted instantly to him. Her body betrayed her. “Hey, Im sorry for last night. All of it. Ive caused so many problems, made it so awkward for you. Im an embarrassment.” Angel gently stepped forward and grabbed her hand before she could cover her blushing face. “Will you stop apologizing? Despite what that asshole has made you believe you’ve done nothing wrong.” Riley shook her head fiercely. “Ofcourse i have! I’ve cheated. This is gonna cause issues for the club. Do you know what he will do to you if he finds out?” Angel smirked at Riley. “How many times do i have to tell you? I can take care of myself Baby.” Placing his hands on either side of her face, Angel tried to calm an anxiety ridden Riley. Groaning in frustration, she shook her head. “You don’t understand. Its not that he cares about me. Its not about me. YOU, someone he cannot stand, have had something he considers his. He will hurt you Angel.” Closing her eyes tight, Riley took another deep breath. “And i dont think i could cope with that. Especially as i know it would be because of me.” Before Angel could even respond, he watched Riley’s eyes widen in fear at the sound of Jake’s voice coming closer to the hallway. Thinking fast Angel wrapped his arm around Riley and pulled her into the stock room, locking the door behind them. Riley’s heart pounded so hard she thought it was going to rip from her chest, and she couldn’t for the life of her work out whether it was from the excitement of being so close to Angel or the fear of being caught by Jake. Pulling away from her place in Angel’s arms she took a step back, squeezing her eyes shut when her back hit the door. Without missing a beat Angel filled the space, pressing her against the door further. Gasping at the sparks that flooded through her body, Riley shook her head at Angel. “We can’t-” Angel cut her off, pulling her into a passionate kiss that left her breathless quickly. “For just one second. Only one. Think about what it is YOU want. Forget Jake, forget what he’ll do. Forget club. Fuck everything. I know this has happened fast and i didnt exactly picture it going this way either. But for once think about yourself. How you feel.” The silence that followed felt like it lasted hours as she stood there looking at him, when in reality it was probably only 2 minutes. It felt heavy. Full of emotions and pain. And it felt like the weight of it settled on Angel’s chest. Stepping back to give her her space Angel racked his brain and mentally kicked himself. Fuck. He read this all wrong. The sting of rejection hurt like nothing else. His worse fear came to light. The girl he’d loved secretly for so long had the ability to crush him in seconds. And she did. 
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ifeltfree · 2 years
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okay so its time for my thesis. i have so much to fucking say about last night.
first. the outfits. never has there been a funnier band on earth. they took an obvious cash grab and made a total mockery of it but in a way that took effort. it was so purposeful. who else out there is gonna dress as a geriatric decaying version of their past selves, especially if that version of yourself is what the industry sees as your prime even when you were truly at your lowest?
mikeyways outfit specifically. the blood. he wore that because revenge era almost killed him. he felt like, at that time, it should have killed him. like he shouldnt have been given the opportunity to mock his past at all. meanwhile the other three copied the looks down to the smallest details (see: bat belt buckle, armbands, rays fucking teased hair) because while they were struggling too, they didnt feel as if the situation were a death sentence in the same way mikey did.
i also want to note that i think perhaps these outfits had a lot to do with straying away from the current aesthetics due to the public reaction. we saw how they were treated at the other festivals they played. i know this look was planned and intentional but i think it could have been a big relief for all of them to not have to try and live up to the thing they were making a joke out of.
the crowd. i was actually shocked how dead they were. i thought a LOT of people were going to wwwy just to see mcr but i guess i was wrong. they put so much effort into their setlist, their outfits, their performance, their stage presence, and not a peep from the crowd the whole time. at the end they got one little half assed cheer, and it was only from the half of the crowd that didnt leave after wttbp. we all know people leave after that one at a lot of mcr shows but the crowd was literally half the size afterward. like why did you bother coming if youre gonna be miserable about it. people at barricade too, if youre having a bad time leave and let the people who want to be there watch the show.
the setlist. obviously it was intended to only be the hits, because its literally wwwy. i was happy that they threw in boy division and the two vampires because honestly i cant really consider them "hits". good songs of course, but it was obvious nobody cared for them much because the already dead crowd was even quieter while they were playing them. personally i would have loved to see them pull a deep cut out of their ass and see how the crowd reacted to that.
the money gun. god there are so many layers of irony to it. during vampire money makes it funny sure but just the fact that they had access to a confetti gun at this megafestival and chose to stuff it with fake thousand dollar bills. they fucking dragged the organizers so hard.
i love that they were aware of what they were participating in. as far as i know every other band that played was normal about it and treated it like any other gig, when really it deserved what mcr did. the festival was poorly organized, insanely overpriced, and could have potentially been dangerous if law enforcement didnt step on and force them to cancel yesterday. which they did not inform the bands of, btw. you know the organizers and venue care strictly about how much profit it brings in, not anyone's feelings or safety. mcr knew that. they knew what these people wanted from them and they essentially told them to eat shit. i have never loved a band so much in my life.
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s0lar-ch3ri · 1 year
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(serious post) talking bout things i need to.
alright, this isnt going to be some "oh haha funni" post like i always do. i need to speak out or it feels like no one else will. you can not read this if you want, i just want to talk about them. (organized into paragraphs) there will be triggering topics i'll speak about and ill try to trigger them appropriately.
theres a surplus of youtubers who react to "fat tiktok" and its never any positivity. these videos get hundreds of thousands of views, and im pretty sure no one sees whats wrong with it. i am considered to be in a "plus size" range, and the videos fucking hurt. its stupid because the whole idea of that side of tiktok is to show that being okay with not being barbie is okay, and its always judged negatively. no, im not fucking over reacting when theres videos talking about how that entire side of tiktok should be gone. yes, there are toxic parts on that side, but i dont tell you to get off youtube or whatever your on because something you like has a toxic part of it. its fucking stupid that these guys (its like all guys) think they have the right to look at these videos and call them cringe over and over and over and then think theyve made a good video or done a good job. i agree, promoting obesity isnt that good a thing, but dont shame the entirety of a community because one person did it. no one who has done these videos has tried to apologize if theyre being offensive, theyre just like "dont hate us if these guys are cringe lol". its not hard, this is just restating the idea of barbie bodies being better. its not hard to let people be happy with how they look. like i said, "fat tok" is not an angel and has problems which can be addressed but judging the full part and saying it should be gone as a whole is just fucking fat phobic. can we stop mixing bisexual and pansexual? they have different names for a reason. bisexual and pansexual arent the same and yet theyre still mixed FOR NO REASON. bisexual is where you feel attraction for 2 genders (thus the prefix bi which means 2) and pansexual is attraction is regardless of gender. my sibling is the main reason i want to talk about this, being bisexual and being pansexual arent the same. if your bi, that doesnt mean your pan and vise versa. i struggled with labels for a shit ton of 2020-2021 and even this year, and hearing labels made so people can actually make sense of how they feel and know theyre not alone (i feel like it for me) getting mixed around with each other hurts. to me, its erasing identities by just saying theyre one. idgaf if you or someone identifies as both, thats fine. saying theyre one in the same is not. i hate those memes of "girls vs boys". they arent even fucking funny, theyre just cringe sexist stereotyping "jokes" put out to be consumed and for those who watch or see them to believe that theyre good and funny and okay. they arent. stereotypes arent cool, going "haha woman stupid" isnt funny, shut up. the boys vs girls memes always make the girls do something "stupid" first, then shows the boys being chads or some shit. for example, that boys vs girls time machine meme. the girls always go to see an ancestor of theirs, while the boys go do some crazy shit in the past. you may think theres nothing wrong, but there is. the way its shown and made is to show that girls are weird but boys are cool. the entire idea of the joke is that girls are stupid. its with every topic these memes have that the girls are in the wrong because theyre dumb for doing this or that. i know what some people think: "oh, your biologically a woman, so of COURSE this isnt funny to you and your just taking offense cause your a drama queen" or whatever shit. the reasoning there is fucking stupid, me being a woman that takes offense shows the joke is offensive and shouldnt be made. also, i bet some guys with brains would find the jokes uncomfortable. sexism isnt funny to anyone but 60 year old boomers that make "i hate my wife" jokes. if your wondering why its not that many, im shortening it so it can actually post. the other triggers will be added in the reply to this, dw.
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idealspawn · 2 years
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why the fuck do i have to have acne. this shit has ruined my life. literally predominantly this. me feeling dirty is written all over my fucking face i cant even try to ignore it. im afraid ill literally drop out of university bc of this. i dont make practically any plans w friends bc i feel disgusting. i cant make it out of the fucking house more than once a week if even that. this is so fucking unfair i dont know anyone who eats as clean as i do or has this good of a personal hygiene. most of my life ive avoided alcohol and smoking at all costs but at one point gave up only in the terms of weed because this shit wont go away either way. ive been on every fuckinf medication there is and even if ive had a few times that my skin cleared up, it has come back multiple times and worse each time. im tired of being on pills too, i dont want to fuck my gut up again. why cant my fucking acne be all cute and react to fucking meds properly this one time and be done w it. why the fuck does mine keep coming back for so many years. nobody else in my family has acne i dont understand wtf went wrong w me then. i know i shouldnt fucking complain bc my sister has it way worse, she has type 1 diabetes since she was 3 and many of my problems root from my looks which is so fucking superficial. but i cant help but wonder why the fuck did i have to be the daughter that got a crooked nose, a fucking cross bite and an underbite, a collapsed fucking ribcage and acne. why did i get the shittier genes regarding education as well, i am not nearly as academically successful and smart as my sister is. why am i the one who got the worse end of the stick regarding our family trauma as well. why the fuck are the effects of it debilitating on me and have lasted up until adulthood but not for my sister. ive done so much inner work and i constantly push myself to trust again and be open and kindhearted but im tired. i dont understand why do i keep getting blamed for shit i cant be responsible for too. i know everyone has problems and to everyone theirs are the fucking worst bc they experience it firsthand but it doesnt help the feeling go away. all i want is a simple fucking life. all i want is to live a normal life and be able to attend university and take part of normal things that normal young ppl do and not feel like love is exclusive bc its rare for someone to be attracted to someone like me. i just want to be fucking ordinary, completely basic and normal. im tired of fucking battleing with something at all times, its like i can never stop to take a breath. everything is actually okay whatever you cant fight destiny and what has happened has happened. i just want to whine. its easy to find reasons to hate your life if you start looking for them. my life has a lot of blessings too and privileges that some cant even dream about. stuff sure could be worse than this. nonetheless its all so emotionally taxing. im drained again and am left with no energy to study. didnt attend my lecture today again because my skin looked horrible and i dont have the balls to ask my professor for any accomodations. this whole post is me catastrophizing shit and an amazing example of the slippery slope and snowball effect that they taught us in uni last year to avoid.
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backseatloversz · 8 months
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instantly making assumptions about what certain lyrics in old wounds refer to/mean is so bad for me because i immediately go THIS FEELS TOO PERSONAL!!!! THIS FEELS TOO PERSONAL I DONT NEED TO KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!! The way people often react when say a 23 year old celebrities love life is heavily publicized and then they write a scathing album about the breakup. But this is me assuming that a couple lines might be referring to a band breaking up 10 years ago. which is also objectively ballsy to write about and release Especially considering they may or may not be working on something together as a band again this very moment. but WHATEVER ITS NOT MY BUSINESS!!!! I SHOULDNT BE THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! But its not like im thinking about anything TOO crazy NOSY....... I am just making assumptions (& telling myself i might totally be wrong). based on a song they chose to write & release and interviews on the matter that they chose to give. ! its just Its insane to me when people are sooo public about their heartaches.........whatever its about. is that not so so scary. what if the people in your life hear it. ??? what if people not in your life hear it and THINK they know what its about. or they Want to know what its about.....they want to know the Gossip.
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sleebybear · 2 years
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doubt someone will see this
i dont want to be here anymore, i relapsed, i ruined myself and i ruined my relationships. i cant take care of myself. i haven't changed as much as i thought i have. i havent changed at all.
I feel crazy for being mad. i feel crazy that i cant feel justified in my anger. i feel crazy that everytime i open up abt my feelings it's only to be blown up in my face. everytime i opened u did something to hurt me right after. i dont think u notice u did. i dont think u understand how much u fucked with my feelings. the on again off again so many times. the constant wait. the i love u's and i miss u and baby's and the sweet sweet things u would tell me only for u put me on nc again and fuck someone else again. you could tell me I'll always be someone u love very much, someone u can think abt marrying but then that same week cut off all contact and go fuck someone else.
im not allowed to lash out im not allowed to be so angry im too cruel when u do it again. i have to deal with the consequences of my actions but it feels like i have to deal with yrs too. everytime u fucked up i was affected by it. it's so exhausting. bc u couldn't of just hurt yrself u had to hurt me too.
every warning i gave u abt if u do this i will be upset and u do it anyway. but i cant be too mad abt it. i still cry abt it. i still cry every night abt it. abt yr regret abt me that night, abt yr feelings for someone else, abt having to be there n hear abt yr feelings for the person im self conscious of, abt u fucking her, abt u putting me on nc and fuck her again after, abt everytime i opened up u managed to hurt me right after. everytime. every single time. i try to be open with you and u managed to get in some kind of thing that would affect me. i try to let go my control bc u asked me too and it blew up in my face after i trusted u and u just proved my point that i never should have. that i shouldnt be open and i shouldnt trust and i shouldnt try to do anything bc it will always blow back up in my face later.
and im mad that i didnt cut u off when i warned u, that i warned u if u fuck her after putting me on a break I'll block u. im mad that i convinced myself it was a moment of weakness for u and doubted myself n let u still be in my life despite how fucking crushed i was. bc i hurt yr feelings. bc u told me i was too harsh in my reaction to u hurting me again. i gave in bc i cared too much abt yr fucking feelings abt it instead of my own.
everyone ive told this too everyone i asked for their opinions on, asking genuinely if im in the wrong abt how i react say, no.
that yes i have changed
that yr self-centered
and u manage to deflect even when i tell u very clearly how u managed to hurt me
and u abuse the NC
and so much other shit that u wont want to hear bc even a suicide note will make u think im using this to u hurt on purpose and im so cruel for saying it
but i can hear all this from so many ppl
that i get confirmation from these ppl who know our whole situation from the beginning, and dont worry i did tell them every single thing ive said and done to u
and i still end up feeling horrible for hurting u despite u hurting me
that i feel ashamed abt being mad
that i still love u and would do anything for u to be in my life.
that i cant believe myself or people when they say i change bc u dont belive i have
i cant take care of myself
i dont change
i just get worse and i let myself get worse
i cant get better no matter how much i try
so im just gonna go.
it'll be easier for everyone and myself
i love u
and i love boo
and i love my dad
and i love my friends
but i cant seem to love myself anymore
goodbye, sweetdreams 💗
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dabistits · 2 years
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i knew i wasnt gonna like this fight very much lol shouto barely reacts to the shit that happened to touya and is instead is like "u shouldnt be dragging other ppl into this!!" like?? if i found out literally any of that happened to my siblings (or even just people i know??) i would react very badly and i dont even get along with my siblings!! idk this has like no emotional weight to me for some reason idgi
i've been getting the feeling that bnha is written in a way to primarily impart lessons (*but only on people who are not related to law enforcement). that's why we keep getting bludgeoned over the head with how aoyama is still responsible for endangering his classmates or how dabi still made his own choices to kill unrelated people; while true, the story seems to prioritize making sure those lessons are learned first, while what is perceived as excess sympathy is excised so it never comes across as ""condoning"" the person who did wrong.
which is probably why a lot of these scenes feel like they have no emotional weight. often the only person sympathizing with characters like dabi or aoyama is the reader, and there is no outlet for the reader's feelings because characters aren't allowed to sympathize overmuch with the villains. for us there's no emotional payoff because we'll read something like dabi's backstory, but the reveal just gets followed up with a lecture, which is obviously... not emotionally impactful at all. the scenes don't read like a moving or memorable moment so much as the heroes engaging in debate class.
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Hello! Could I pls request a hc for Larry and Sally for they s/o or crush (gender neutral) who used to live in a very warm city so they're seeing snow for the very first time? Thank you 🤗💖
yee
sal and larry reacting to their s/o seing the snow for the first time (seperate) - gn!reader
sal
✧he's from new jersey, and i'm like 90% sure it snows a lot there
✧so he's used to the snow by now
✧and he's super surprised to hear you've never seen the snow in person before like ????
✧i dont think he would be the type to like
✧excessively play in the snow or anything
✧but he definitely would if you wanted to
✧he'd make snowman versions of you two, i dont make the rules
✧i still think he would mainly just wanna
✧watch the snow through the window under a ton of blankets y'know
✧i think he would really like hot chocolate
✧cuddle him pls
✧being close to you is one of his favorite things, especially if its super cold bc that's just an excuse to get closer to you obviously
✧he's pretty small so i feel like you would be the one letting him wear your hoodies/coats
✧so ofc he would use the cold as an excuse to take one of your hoodies, even though he's probably fine with the cold
✧dont bring up how he's naturally cold and spent his entire life living in the north so he shouldnt need your favorite sweatshirt and to cuddle you
✧bc
✧shhhh
✧let him have this
larry
✧oh he'd wanna do
✧e v e r y t h i n g
✧with you
✧im not saying he would start a snowball fight and show literally no mercy towards you but
✧he would start a snowball fight and show literally no mercy
✧HE'S RUTHLESS IN SNOWBALL FIGHTS I SWEAR LIKE
✧YOU'D JUST BE THERE TO HAVE FUN AND HE WOULD BE OUT FOR BLOOD
✧the reason he would wanna throw fuckin snow at you is clear
✧he just wants to save the day and give you his jacket and hug you after you get super cold
✧you guys are outside for the entire day
✧he would make snowmen and would probably put them in dirty positions im sorry
✧you know he would point at them make some stupid joke like "us last night" you cant tell me im wrong
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ecoamerica · 21 days
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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namjoon-koya · 3 years
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Can I please have Mirio, Shinsou, Kirishima, and Bakugo reacting to their crush working at a maid cafe? She would be surprised to see them but she genuinely enjoys her job and serves them, minus the gropers and cat callers but if they touch or harass a maid, they get tossed out immediately (This is a “look but don’t touch” establishment). She just never felt the need to bring it up but she enjoys the cute uniform, taking selfies with customers who ask/pay, and is very sweet to both staff and customers so she’s popular.
(A/N: SKSK I’m glad I got this request in)
Trigger warning: reader getting catcalled + harassed. Cuss words? Please don’t read if you’re sensitive to those things.
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It was a cute cat cafe (this boi loves cats alright😤) so he just went inside to check it out.
What he didn’t expect was to see you.. in a maid outfit (yes now his heart was beating quick) he expected you to run off when you saw him, but you smiled at him.
“Shinsou! What are you doing here?” You asked him.
oH gOd he couldn’t tell you because of the cats! It’s his secret..
“J-just wanted to check this place out..” he mumbled.
“Oh! Well I’ll take you to your table.” You said as you lead him to a table that was empty.
You gave him a menu before leaving to serve another customer.
He tried focusing on the menu, but he couldn’t help but just stare at you. Usually people dreaded having jobs yet.. you seemed to enjoy it even when costumers asked to take pictures with you, you’d smile and say sure.
When you were done you were going to go back to Shinsou until you heard someone whistle at you.
Your jaw clenched together this was the only thing you hated about this job people harassing you and whistling at you like some kind of dog! There were times you wanted to yell at them, but you bit back your tongue and proceeded to move on.
Until.. the person decided to get up and grab your arm and yank you back towards them.
“Hey I called you don’t fucking walk away from me.”
Once Shinsou saw what happened he quickly rose to his feet ready to save you, but your manager quickly came out “hey asshole! This is a look but don’t touch establishment! Don’t put your filthy hands on them.” Your manger uses their quirk to make the person let go of you.
Once your freed from the person’s grasp Shinsou quickly pulls you over to him shielding you.
Your manager kicks the person out and you sigh in relief “sorry you had to see that shinsou..” you apologize. “Don’t apologize that asshole shouldnt do stuff like that especially to you Y/N.” You blushed.
“T-thank you..” you were going to say more until your friend told you that a customer was requesting you “I-ill be right back!”
You didn’t even have time to return to Shinsou as some costumers kept requesting you asking you if you were fine and even offered to buy you something, but you kept denying their requests.
Once you finally made it back to Shinsou he chuckled “Y/N you’re very popular you know.. I’m not suprised considering how sweet you are.”
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Stupid Kirishima he was the one that was dragging Bakugou to a dumb cafe he didn’t even want to go! He wanted to stay in his room or at least go work out not go to some cafe.
Entering the cafe Bakugou’s mood didn’t change until Kirishima whispered to him “Dude! Look it’s Y/N!” Now THAT caught Bakugou’s attention.
He quickly snapped his attention to where you were and oH my gOd did his face become red from blushing.
You were wearing.. a MAID OUTFIT?! Why?!
You heard a commotion from the entrance and when you looked over you saw Bakugou and Kirishima you smiled walking over to them “I never expected you guys to come here! Especially you Bakugou!” You teased.
“S-shut up.. Kirishima made me come..”
“Hm.. well follow me I’ll take you to your table.” You said grabbing two menus and lead them to an empty table you gave them the menus before leaving as your manager had told you a costumer was requesting you.
Bakugou continued to watch you as you went table to table often talking to some costumes to even taking selfies with them.
“Aw are you making sure no one messes with them Bakugou?” Kirishima teased “shut up! I’m just.. wondering why they’re so popular! That’s all!” Kirishima laughed “you aren’t jealous right?” “M-me?!” Before Bakugou could make a comeback at Kirishima he saw you talking to a man.. he oddly looked suspicious.
Even Kirishima became quiet and continued to watch with concern he could tell you were become uncomfortable as your body was tensing up what the hell is he saying to you? Bakugou wondered.
That’s when it happened the man had groped you, you slapped his hand away and quickly stumbled back.
Bakugou was enraged and so was Kirishima (your his friend he doesn’t want anyone to do that type of stuff to you especially without your permission)
“What’s wrong didn’t you like-“ he couldn’t finish his sentence as Bakugou had rushed over and grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt.
“What the fuck are you doing! Fucking pervert don’t ever lay your hands on them again!” Bakugo shouts your manager had quickly rushed over to the commotion “this is a look but don’t touch establishment and I will not take you harassing my employees!” Thankfully your manager called the cops after the whole incident.
Bakugou was still upset at the whole incident he can’t believe that some people are like that! “Bakugou are you okay?” You asked.
He sighed “shouldn’t I be asking you that? The fucking pervert did that to you!” He shouts angrily.
“I know.. but thank you for helping me back there if you weren’t there to grab him quickly he might’ve just ran off.” Bakugou blushed.
“I-if it makes you feel better dumbass I’ll always visit you when you have work so you don’t have to worry about things like that..”
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He’s going to drag Kaminari to go with him LMAO (doubt he would complain though)
Kaminari is the first person to see you and he’s like “look Kirishima it’s Y/N!!” Once Kirishima turns his attention to you he BLUSHES that it almost matches his hair color.
You’re in a maid outfit and he’s freaking out in the inside.
You’re beautiful just absolutely stunning well you’re always stunning.. KiRi being a soft boi.
You greet them happily “you work here Y/N?” Kaminari asked “yup! It’s a really cool job y’know! Here I’ll take you guys to a table.” You said as you started walking they followed right behind you.
Kaminari was mostly doing all the talking while Kirishima was more quiet he was never a really shy person yet he was acting shy right now which irritated him a bit.
Once they got seated you gave them a menu “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to look over things.” You said leaving.
Kirishima kept his gaze down at his menu as he read the list of foods and drinks that you guys had, but then he heard Kaminari laugh “what’s funny?” Kirishima asked.
“Y/N is really popular ive already seen her take 4 selfies with different people.”
Well.. Kirishima wouldn’t be suprised you’re extremely loving and sweet..
Once you were done you were going to go back to Kirishima and Kaminari until you heard someone catcall you.
It made your stomach turn, but you decided to ignore him that’s what you usually did and sometimes they’d understand or mutter something offense under their breath.
This guest wasn’t though they quickly shot up from their seat and grabbed you arm “what the fuck I give you a compliment and you decide to ignore it? Spoiled b-“
You saw Kaminari come from the side and pry the person’s hand off your arm then you felt someone pull you back you looked up and saw Kirishima glaring at them you’ve never seen him.. so protective of you.
“Listen dude I’ve never been to a maid cafe before, but I do know that it’s a look but don’t touch establishment.” Kaminari said angrily.
One of your co-workers told the manager what happened and kicked the guest out and told them “never come back again asshole!”
Kirishima still had his arms wrapped around you protectively “uhm.. kiri.. it’s okay now.” You said trying to soothe him.
“I-I know.. I just can’t believe someone would do that to you Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you fast enough.”
“You’re here though.. so I’m happy for that kiri.”
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Oh boy he takes Tamaki and Nejire with him because the big 3 always gotta hang out with each other 😤
Once they’re inside Mirio is busy talking with Tamaki that he doesn’t even notice that you were there until Nejire was look “Mirio look it’s Y/N! Doesn’t she look beautiful?” He looks over and sees you.
I feel like he wouldn’t be blushing at all and he’s going to be bold about it and be like “heck yeah look at you sunshine!” (You’re going to be the one blushing)
You take them to a table and talk for them a bit before handing them some menus and leaving.
Nejire and Tamaki were the only ones looking down at the menu while Mirio kept looking at you, he noticed how a lot of people seemed so comfortable talk with you and at least 7 people took pictures with you!
“Y/N is really popular isn’t she Mirio?” Nejire said.
“Y-yes she is..”
“Mirio! Did I just hear you stutter? That’s new! Mirio you should ask Y/N out after this y’know a little birdie told me she isn’t dating anyone.”
Yeah Nejire is definitely is trying to set you two up she did the exact same thing with you when you kept staring at Mirio.
While you were taking someone else’s order you could tell their eyes kept lingering you and it was started to become uncomfortable.. usually guests would look down at their menu or even just take one glance at you before looking down again.
Once you were done you were about to leave until they grabbed your arm you kept yanking your arm back, but their grasp were too strong you were about to yell for your manager until you saw someone grab the person’s hand and yanked it away making the person let go of yours.
You looked up and saw Mirio.. he was always known to not be angry and make calm decisions, but you could tell how angry he was in his eyes.
Nejire came beside you checking your arm “Are you alright Y/N?” “Y-yeah I should go get my manager.” You said leaving.
Even Tamaki looked scary he was always shy and nervous yet even he was glaring at the man.
Once you told your manager they were pissed they stomped over to the man “Listen here! This is a only look but don’t touch establishment! You harassed my employee and now you’re banned from coming here again.” Once they had kicked the person out of the cafe you let out a relief sigh.
“Are you alright sunshine?” Mirio asked.
“Y-yeah.. that was just so sudden I didn’t even see that coming.. thank you for saving me back there.”
Mirio nods “I wouldn’t let someone hurt you like that sunshine especially when I’m around.”
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antiloreolympus · 2 years
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10 Anti LO Asks
1. hxp isnt even the healthiest couple in LO lmao. idk how "healthy" a couple built off hades controlling her and lusting after her "small pink body", persephone being submissive and scared of his temper tantrums, and the huge power and age imbalance is supposed to be but that sure aint it.
2. im not against the idea in LO of saying people doubt P because she's a "village girl" but like ? then why does it say she should give up her life on earth and her nature ways to be "modern" like hades? like shouldnt it be more of a point theyre wrong to doubt her and see value in her work and powers, instead of her agreeing w/ them and giving it all up to match whatever hades and co do? that basically says shes not good enough until she follows the crowd and changes who she is for them :/
3. what even if the point to hades asking demeter why he didnt go to him to help cover up treason like?? why would she?? is he just mad he didnt get to flirt with her underage daughter sooner??
4. It doesn’t make sense for all the flower nymphs to be the same shade of ugly highlighter pink that Persephone is… Surely RS knows flowers can come in a huge variety of colours?? Or did RS choose to make them all pink to show how “boohoo Persephone’s stinky mom forces everyone to conform to a single perfect ideAL”? If the latter is true, she’s doing a piss poor job at it because the nymphs are more lively, happy and vibrant than at least two thirds of the cast smh
5. the stupidest part of LO is if rachel actually read the eros and psyche myth she'd realize its actually a priestess to apollo (who in turn is basically the mouthpiece to apollo himself) who makes psyche and eros get together. hes literally the reason theyre a thing!
6. How many times has Persephone's hair changed in this whole trial arc? I swear it looks like it changes from panel to panel
7.TBH i don't even blame the editor(s) at WT for what a shitshow LO is. Just off what other creators have said the editors only do what they ask of them, so it's up to the creators if they want the editors to help them with the plot, characters, etc. It's pretty well known Rachel cannot stand critique and input so it's very likely her third (?) editor doesn't get to help at all and instead just posts the episodes. It's p safe to bet every issue with LO is literally all on Rachel and her alone.
-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----
8. is there any part of this story where persephone actually choses anything? she doesnt get to choose to join the maidens, to stay with artemis, to kill the villagers, to meet hades, to have sex, where she works, where she lives, and now who she tells her trauma to? hera and psyche already took that from her & now hades too. im waiting to see where the consent and agency this story so desperately claims its about will finally show up, because we're heading into year 4 with none of that in sight.
9. I have the horrible feeling, esp with the most recent episodes implying it, that Rachel is going to use Leto as the actual person behind the assault and use it as some hamfisted way to not technically write an important god like Apollo out of the mythology but still give the fans a sort of "justice" in seeing someone suffer. Leto is against Hera too so the fans would extra love to see her sufferr. If we have to see another woman be thrown under the bus in this "feminist" story ill lose it 🤡
10. (FP//) I'm disgusted by the comments. Hades reacts how one should to finding out someone he cares about was sexually assaulted, yet the comments called HIM out for reacting as a normal person and now claiming this "isn't how sexual assault should be handled"? This is the ONLY time it's been handled correctly, yet they got mad at HIM for his reaction? So they were perfectly fine he ripped out a teenager's EYEBALL for taking pap photos, being upset his partner was assaulted is now "toxic"?? wtf??
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chibichibisha · 3 years
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Got an ask about RossAce relationship headcanons, so thought that I could give context for their relationship before I straightly jump into them. Sorry because this is kind of long, but if you fancy them as I do, please let me tell you how two idiots discover they might like each other far from than just the usualy bro stuff after going from “rivals to friends”
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At first, when Rossain and Ace meet, they do not like each other. Ross is this jerk that thinks he is way cooler and more intelligent than Ace, and he likes to show this off. He, on purpose, teases Ace calling him "Ace-kun", in a try to belittle him, and Ace is fast to jump into it, since honestly, he is the type to do the same, so it's sometimes the other way around. You know, the tipical fights about students there. Ace thinks Rossain is an idiot who believes he is more than he is, and Rossain thinks Ace is a guy too snarky for his own good, who has no value for him at all. They become rivals instantly after this, (While DeShawn and Deuce do the same, because they usually fight as well), but even if uncooperative, they play some friend role when the ocassion puts them on the same side, as they belong to the first year group.
But this doesn't stay like this, because even if they voice that they do not like each other, they end sometimes hanging together with the group, or having to be like this because joint classes for their year. For the rest, it's clear that they don't have a good relationship because they are too similar, and usually want to be right about the other being wrong. They get used to each other presence as the year progresses, even if they keep teasing each other.
Ross is the first that starts to like Ace, tho. There are some times that they will encounter each other for some reasons, and it's not like they don't know each other, so they can overlook the fact not matching much and go together to do some stuff. Of course, complaining about this, but going anyway. And this is where they find out that, since they are so similar actually, they can have a fun time together. They have the same humor, they are witty and mischivous deep down, and even if Ross wants to looks smarter, more mature and more suave than he is, the truth is that he is just a 16 y/o guy that likes to hang out with others. This makes them see the other on the same level, and establish some sort of friendship despite the rivality they still hold.
Because Ace is not Ross' type, but he would prefer him over anyone else that is saved to his contact list, and he cannot even remember their names. Ace doesn't have anything Ross can benefit from: he is not someone important, he is not specially rich nor popular, and Ross is aware of that and still ackowlesging he has more fun with him than in some random date. He surprises himself thinking about this, but tries to think it's not important, because again, he is not his type.
Ross discovers then that, when he knows Ace more personally, he is able to make him embarrassed and see him blush. And this is not good, because he didn't expect it to like it so much. I mean, yeah, he is the type to enjoy when other people react to his flirting, it gives him some sort of power, but with Ace is different. If he teases him on a flirty way, Ace won't fight back like he usually did, and then complain in a more embarrassed way. Ross finds it so dangerous. Because Ace is not his type, but he likes that side of him a lot, all suddenly. And it annoys him at some degree, because he shouldnt be thinking about him that way.
He still didn't take it that seriously even if it's starting to annoy his own feelings, so he can just act like it's just assholish teasing. Until he sees Ace being sincere for the first time (The Ghost Marriage situation? yeah, that situation). Unlike him, Ross is never honest or true, not only with the rest of the world but with himself too. To see Ace beig actually pretty dependable and honest with his own beliefs and be able to openly say it to other person, gives Ross a sense of reality he has been keeping aside. Because he does not like how his reality. Yet, Ace words make him think that not everything has to feel that wrong, and it's better to see stuff differently, even if those words weren't for him.
So this is when Ross starts to realize he may have a crush with the stupid Ace, and be kinda annoyed about this fact, because he doesn't know how to deal with a real, genuine crush. And less in someone like Ace. His first impression about this is that it might be a useless thing, and he should forget about it, because he could never work it with someone like Ace. Truth is he is too scared of rejection, and he is not able to talk honestly either. And Ace is not the type to voice these kind of things either, since he is more or less in the same situation, so they enter into a weird dynamic were they are a mess: they tease each other, they become irritated or embarrassed, and there's so many situation filled with romantic tension you cannot even count them. Just teenagers being teenagers, honestly.
How they resolve all this? They probably stay in a state like this for some time, they have their first kiss like this probably, and be aware that they have some kind of relationship that they try to not talk about it because they are both dumb idiots.
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