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#I keep books to myself
akindplace · 2 months
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useless magic by Florence Welch
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stuckinapril · 7 months
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i think i really need to learn how to cold quit things... one habit i have that really bothers me is checking my phone first thing in the morning bc it's "just for 5 minutes" "just to see if anyone sent me anything important" no bitch literally nothing on your phone requires you to check your phone first thing when you open your eyes!!! stop it
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coralinnii · 6 months
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‧₊˚✧ Everything Stays, Right Where You Left It ‧₊˚✧
↳ meeting once again after you returned home
feat: Azul ❋ Jamil ❋ Sebek ❋ Jade genre: hurt/comfort, romance note: no pronouns used with the reader, speculations of how Yuu/reader returns home are all theoretical (no canon timeline is confirmed at this time), established relationships, happy ending, a nickname for reader was used in Jamil ver.,
I didn’t add a quote or “voice line” like my typical headcanons/scenarios posts because it felt unnatural to this vibe.
Song suggestion: Everything Stays by Olivia Olson (Adventure Time)
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You broke your own heart saying goodbye to him. Whether he begged you to stay or reluctantly let you go, the overwhelming pain burned deep in his soul when he saw your figure disappear into the mirror, to where he couldn't reach you anymore.
Time waits for no man and he has to keep going, without you by his side.
But then, just as mysteriously as before, you appeared once more before him, beautiful as the day you left.
“I missed you…”
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Such an unfortunate soul, he first thought. A fish out of water, so far away from anything or anyone you knew, Azul hoped you would find comfort in him, for a price of course.
But you surprised him with your unyielding character, quick adaptability and eagerness to keep Azul on his toes. You were a tricky customer who threw him for a loop, and he became ever grateful you did. Friendly competition and cheeky comments became shy smiles and soon longing embraces.
But your efforts to find clues to your mysterious arrival to Twisted Wonderland bore fruit, and you were able to find a way to open a portal to return home. But you weren’t sure what was going to happen once you crossed that portal. You may have to say goodbye…forever.
This was a deal he just couldn’t make, the cards were against him. Azul would have bargained with every morsel under his name just to keep you in Twisted Wonderland, with him.
But there was a chance for you to finally return home, back to where you had a whole life before being whisked into this magical world. You had no regrets coming to this world, meeting Azul, and eventually loving him, but you couldn’t abandon your old life, without even an explanation.
Azul understood that, he truly did. So he used the last moments he still had with you to give you an experience you could never forget, so you could never forget him. At least Azul could let you go without regrets.
But still, on the night of your departure, muffled cries could be heard through the walls of the merman’s bedroom. He thought he could put on a brave face for you as you made your way to the mirror, but he still had tears left to shed as your figure finally disappeared from his sight, out of his reach.
It took so long for him to change his routine since you left. He had to squash that yearning part of himself that kept hoping you would suddenly walk through the doors of Mostro Lounge and give him that warm smile that melts his stress away.
Sometimes he wakes up, reaching out to your warmth on his bed only to see the vacant space in his too-large bed. For a creature from the icy waters, he felt so unbearingly cold since your departure.
The fateful reunion
He was almost over you, ready to move on with his life after 2 years since your farewell. He was off to complete his independent study for his final year when he heard news of the Dark Mirror lighting up one random day and a mysterious figure fell out from its glass.
When he returned to the campus, Azul had to weave your old friends and other curious students around you in your old Ramshackle dorm, but when your eyes met his, his eyes lit up as though it finally came to life once more. You looked a little older and all the more beautiful, Azul almost fell to his knees in disbelief.
Nervously, you walked towards your former lover with a glint of fear in your eyes. 2 years may not mean much in the long run but it was still plenty for the merman to forget you, a piece of his life perhaps best left behind. But still, lost in his blue eyes, as deep as the ocean he hails from, you whispered the thoughts you had the moment you stepped back into your world.
“I missed you, Azul.”
Swift as a wave, strong arms wrapped around you as you pulled into an ever-familiar embrace. Soft curls tickled your face as the bespectacled man pressed his face into your shoulder. Despite being hidden away from watching eyes, you could hear his sniffles as he cried in the comfort of your arms.
But you soon joined him as the rush of emotions rushed within you, your control crumbling apart when you heard the soft plea Azul whispered into your skin, words he kept locked away all these years.
“Please…don’t leave me.”
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You were like him in a way. Trapped in a situation you didn’t decide yourself, forced to adapt and live with the cards given to you. To put aside your feelings of helplessness and laugh, like a smiling genie stuck confined to a tiny lamp.
What was first pity became a bond from a kinship to an affectionate fondness for one another. The two of you even joked about traveling the world some day, just to give each other that chance to feel free together.
But by chance Crowley found a way for you to return home, a choice to free yourself from your bizarre predicament. Suddenly, Jamil felt even lonelier than he has ever thought possible.
Then, Jamil couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Of course, anything that he desired could never be his. What was he thinking? He should have known something as amazing as you was too good to be true.
An expert liar, he congratulated you on such a fortuitous event. He wore his well-crafted smile as he told you how glad he was for you to return home, to gain the freedom the two of you dreamed of.
A man trained as a servant, Jamil knew how to push down his selfish thoughts, even when you knew that he wasn’t being truthful with his words.
Great Sevens, he loved you for knowing him so well. He loved you so much that he convinced you to go home, as no one knew if such an opportunity would ever come again. This time, he was truly happy to ignore his selfish desires, if it’s for you.
But even Kalim, for as oblivious as he can be sometimes, knew to leave Jamil alone in his room that day when he shared one last kiss with you before you disappeared behind the magical mirror.
The fateful reunion
It’s been 2 years since Jamil and Kalim graduated from Night Raven College, 5 years since either of them saw you since your departure, since he last felt whole.
The first few years, Kalim tried to cheer his childhood friend, offering words of comfort and even hoped that perhaps you would return someday. You magically came here before, who’s to say it won’t happen again?
The well-meaning Asim heir only stopped mentioning you when Jamil lost his composure one night, screaming at him to stop making him hope for something so impossible. To Jamil, what hurts him more than you leaving him was losing hope that you could come back someday.
Since that day, Kalim did his best not to mention your name near the long-haired man in fear of opening old wounds.
Which is why Jamil was confused when the snow-haired heir called him during his overseas trip, urging him to return to Silk City immediately.
“Jamil, you gotta come back! It happened!”
Jamil’s heart beat hard against his chest, the long buried hope he tried to crush came back, fueling his body to run towards the fastest route back to his hometown. His pessimistic logic demanded him to lower his expectations but that childish longing in him begged him to run faster.
There, inside the Asim family’s large room, you stood there in the middle of the room surrounded by lavish walls and decor. The room was filled with luxurious ornaments and bright colors, but Jamil could only see you and your beautiful face with eyes as mesmerizing as he remembered in his dreams.
“Jamil…I-“
Before you could fully speak, the usually collected man ran to you without restraint as he encased you in his arms, as though he feared this to be a cruel mirage. His selfishness bled through as he held you closer than he ever had with anyone, his racing heart could be felt between you two.
“I missed you, habibti.”
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Being with Sebek was like an adventure. A man with such vigor and determination towards life gave you the motivation to go through this strange new world the same way. You didn’t know if you could never return home but what good was it to give up on being happy?
What started off as admiration turned to fondness, then after an awkward period of confusing feelings, the two of you started a meaningful relationship. Sebek was insistent on formally courting you with the intentions of marrying you, but you told him you’d marry him with a paper ring. Sebek expressed feelings of indignation but the flush of his ears said otherwise.
But hidden in old fae books locked away in the royal libraries, Lilia found stories of people who came to this world seemingly the same way as you…with a way to send you back. It would have been impossible to gather enough magical energy to return you to your original world, but Malleus was the only one capable of accomplishing this feat. For his dear friend and his trusted guard’s beloved, he would gladly do this grand favor.
How…fortunate you are.
Sebek was stunned silent over this revelation. He should be happy, shouldn’t he? Despite your smiles and laughs, he knew the days where you would look out in a daze, lost in your feelings of homesickness. He told himself that he would give you everything if he could, no matter the pain it may occur to him…
Malleus gave the two of you time to discuss amongst yourselves and you could see your green-haired lover mentally fighting with himself. That was fair, you too were emotionally split over this information.
With a heavy heart, Sebek chose to let you go. He feared that if he were to speak his desires, someday you would grow to resent him for holding onto you. You told him otherwise but all of your arguments lead to the same conclusion, you needed to return home.
With tear-filled eyes, Sebek watched as you were engulfed with his liege’s magic, a blinding glow wrapping around you like a chrysalis. Though he denies it, he was grateful for Silver’s comforting hand on his shoulder as he broke down to his knees, a burning pain in his chest and the stinging of his tears cascading down his face.
The fateful reunion
The years were good to him, after 10 years he became what he always dreamed to be, a recognized guard of the royal family, under his magnanimous king.
With the advice of Lilia, the grown half-fae decided to keep a journal with records of his accomplishments and struggles, everything he wished he could tell you. Perhaps in hopes that he could one day share his life with you, or perhaps simply a way to keep his spirits up since your departure.
Sebek is not usually the one to dwell too much in the past, rather the type to look towards the future. But on occasion, he catches himself lost in his thoughts over his moments with you whenever he comes across something that reminds him of you, which were a lot of things.
He tried to kick this habit, as it was troubling for a guard to get so easily distracted, especially if he was meant to guard his king with his life. Eventhough Malleus, Lilia, and Silver were understanding over his situation, Sebek chastised his unprofessional behavior.
Even now, he was angry with himself when he sees a mysterious figure walking towards him at the castle’s gate under this heavy downpour. For a moment, he froze over how familiar this figure was, who walked uncannily similarly to the way you did, long ago.
Shaking this thought away, Sebek demanded this suspicious figure to stop before stepping any closer to the castle’s gate.
“Reveal yourself! Lest you prepare to meet my spear!”
“Sebek?”
Your voice struck him like lightning, stunned him in his post as flashes of the past rushed through him. You cautiously stepped closer, Sebek finally able to see your face under the castle’s lights. Like him, you grew considerably since he last saw you, but still as enchanting as that fateful day, even when you were drenched in the pouring weather.
With a whisper of your name, Sebek unceremoniously tossed his weapon to the muddy ground as he forsaken his position to run to you. Closing you in his arms, he could smell that comforting scent of you even in the drenching rain. Your warm body soothed his own as he shared a deep kiss with you under the rain, a decade of his longing finally rushing out in this unbelievable miracle that was you.
“I missed you, for so long.”
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Jade was certainly curious about you. You reminded him of an old famous tale in his hometown, of a young mermaid who found herself in a world that was nothing like her own. He found amusement in you as you gasped and floundered over the myriad of magical possibilities that were a mere commodity in Twisted Wonderland. How adorable you were, he thought.
Fascination replaced curiosity and soon infatuation came into play. Eventually, Jade has come to enjoy your company more than anyone else’s, and he had to maintain a steady smile when you confessed your mutual feelings for him.
But when the Dark Mirror announced that a portal to your world has opened once more, he found difficulty in keeping his practiced smile. His otherworldly lover has a chance to return home, leaving him behind.
The eel merman was grateful for your attempts to comfort him, telling him that you could refuse this offer. You entertained the thought that perhaps the portal will appear once more at a later date, to diminish the significance of this opportune chance.
But Jade is no fool, he never was. No matter how happy you were with him, he recognises the wistful looks when a reminder of your old world is brought up. While he revels in the stories you joyfully regaled him of your past, he can hear the soft sighs under your breath and the melancholic smile upon your lips.
What was that phrase land-dwellers are so fond of? “If you love something, set it free.”
Jade never knew he could love someone as much he did with you, he didn't think he would ever do this for anyone. How amazing you are, it seems.
Jade loved you enough to let you go. He loved you enough to hold you as you cried through your broken goodbyes. He loved you just enough to finally let go of your hand as your figure disappeared into the magical glass.
And Floyd and Azul loved him enough to delegate his vice housewarden duties as he holed himself in his terraturim collection for days after your departure.
The fateful reunion
1 year has passed and while there have been some changes, there are things that stayed the same. Though now third years, Jade maintained his position as Octavinelle’s vice housewarden, by Azul’s side.
As such, his presence was appreciated in the Hall of Mirrors as new students filled the room, anxiously waiting for their dorm sorting. While this was a grand occasion for many young mages, Jade doubts that anything can outdo the unorthodox events that happened a year ago, when you appeared.
He couldn’t help but chuckled to himself when he recalled the ruckus you and Grim made, the reckless beast yelling out such amusing things.
“MY HENCHHUMAN IS BACK!”
Oh my, speak of the devil.
Grim, much stronger than he was before, burst through the heavy doors as he ran about with fat tears soaking the fur on his face. The notorious Heartslabyul duo tried to grab hold of the rambunctious creature but nothing could quell the ball of fur.
Hasty footsteps were heard as a figure came rushing in soon after, seemingly chasing the bawling Grim. Upon your appearance, the row of gasps and shouts echoed through the room, specifically from the older students and the faculty.
Jade felt a rush of emotion crashing into him. As a desperate measure, he tried to forget your face lest he wished to stay haunted by your image through restless nights. But there you stood looking as beautiful as the day he lost you.
Cautiously, he walked towards you like a wary eel. If this was a cruel trick, he will not be merciful towards anyone who believes they can play with a Leech’s heart.
But when your gaze matched his, he felt the world start once more, as though it fell to a stop the moment you disappeared. Your expressive eyes were the same beautiful sight he fell in love with, even when lined with building tears.
“Jade,” you whispered in disbelief. “I missed you so much”
With quick movement, Jade pulled you into him as he engulfed himself in the joy he’s feeling. Your touch, your voice, your scent, it’s all back.
What was that phrase land-dwellers are so fond of? “If it returns, it was meant to be.”
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zorosdimples · 2 months
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i think many writers (myself included) get stuck in the “free time must be writing time otherwise it’s wasted” mindset. but how often do you sit down to write, stare at the screen, and call it a day? or claim you’re writing while you’re actually just screwing around doing other things? we forget that a fundamental element of writing is simply reading. you can’t improve your craft if you refuse—willingly or not—to witness what others are doing. instead of bashing ourselves for not being productive or inspired, we should be enjoying great novels, poetry, essay collections, memoirs, and the like. a “good” writer doesn’t have to be writing all the time or even most of the time; a “good” writer should recognize the limits to their creativity and find joy in that which inspired them to write in the first place: reading.
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hanzajesthanza · 3 months
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EMAIL REGIS ⁉️ 😳
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bizarrelittlemew · 8 months
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every time i see "Ed asks Lucius to write down his lyrics" used as an argument for claiming that Ed can't write i just want to. you know. point out that Stede has Lucius write down everything he says?? and does?? all the time?? and when he can't find Lucius he asks Frenchie (who actually cannot write) to do it instead of just writing it himself. and we know Stede can write. it's got nothing to do with ability to write, just that the captains don't seem to want to write stuff themselves when they have an employee whose job is to do that exact thing for them
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so what is it with people being incapable of talking about, thinking about, raising awareness for aromanticism without bringing up asexuality. why are we acting as if aromanticism is just some special status buff for aces
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checanty · 5 months
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I just noticed I didn't tell you yet--which is shameful as it is Tumblr where the Mermaid Scientist was born! My Mermaid Book was picked up by Eye of Newt and is available for pre-order right now (it's coming out very soon, though, so any orders should make it until Christmas if that's a concern of yours)! If you're in North America, I'd suggest ordering directly through my publisher's website, however it's available anywhere you'd usually order books. You can ask your favourite indie book shop to order it for you or--if there's no other option or you're worried about crazy shipping costs where you live--it's available via the place starting with A, which shall otherwise not be named, as well. Please note: This is an edited version of the original book. It's shorter, but with more coherent world building and a beautiful new layout and design. It's a proper field guide now!
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thysilus · 2 days
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one of th actresses on this shoot jst told me she rly likes my voice and that its ‘deep’ which is xtremely gender affirming but i cnt tell if she thinks im a woman w a deep voice cuz i swear my voice aint deep for a man lol
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frodolives · 8 months
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why-the-heck-not · 7 months
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12.09.23, tuesday
I feel like I was on the move the whole day today, but I don’t know where the time went??? Woke up, went to a meeting, from there to a grocery store, came back home and left to the gym after a quick snack, was home for like 2h before leaving to the campus again and went to a grocery store (again yes bc forgot things lol). I just got back home and now I should start winding down for sleep ?? Like tf where did this day go, why do I feel like I got nothing done but still was productive ?? Is this what life is like for ppl who aren’t home 24/7 ???
things done today:
4h focused time (a meeting, submitted an essay and some peer reviews, studying/coding)
gym workout
grocery store x2 bc i’m a dummy
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dothefroghop · 4 months
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When your best friend has been talking at you about their “crack for gays” books for years and you’re trying to be sneaky about the fact that you’re finally reading them
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bonesbuckleup · 4 months
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Writing fantasy is so great because you make up all the rules! But writing fantasy is also terrible because you make up all the rules.
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evilesbiautism · 1 year
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This one goes out to every1 who was praised as a kid for reading so much but now looks at a book with dread;
You'll be fine–those stories aren't going anywhere. Have fun at your own pace 🫶
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yumemiruuuu · 2 months
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the other day when I was heading home, I looked over and saw that the lady sitting next to me on the public transit was READING ABOUT THE IMMORTALITY DRAMA??!!! I swear I did 10 double-takes because I was so much in shock.
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ilovedthestars · 2 months
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I am having many many thoughts about Hands of the Emperor, but here is one before I go to sleep:
this sounds very silly, but i am eighty-odd pages into this book and almost nothing has happened, technically. The main characters are going on a vacation. It is a fairly significant part of this that the Emperor has never done so much nothing at once before. Travel arrangements have been made, social interactions had, various vacation activities enjoyed, but on a literal level there is no large plot moving forward.
AND YET. I am up late reading this already, and I want to stay up later. I want to keep reading. Because even if on the surface, not much is going on, the emotional depths that this book has already gone to are incredibly compelling.
The main character is watching the man he serves as emperor and reveres as a god, a man he cares for deeply, slowly remember that despite being an emperor and a god he is also a person, and find enormous joy in getting to be just that. The main character has been overcome with emotion multiple times by seeing his emperor smiling with great pleasure at things like a casual conversation, or watching the rain, or tuning a harp with his own hands. I am overcome with emotion too.
I don’t know if the pace will pick up at some point, but I genuinely think even if it doesn’t, I could read seven hundred pages of this, just on the strength of what it’s making me feel.
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