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#I just want to get some good feels from writing
jarofstyles · 3 days
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Take Me Higher
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Happy 4/20 my lovelies. I just whipped this up quickly so I hope you guys enjoy it 🫣
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WC- 2.5k
Warnings- use of marijuana, high users, switch!H, choking, cum play, etc
Picture is not mine, credits to owner
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The smoke had cleared out of the room but it was a bit cold still from the chill of the night. It wasn’t quite warm enough to be spring in her humble opinion, but she’d take what she could get. Plus, Harry had brought her some food stuff for them and she was feeling the effects kicking in as she felt a weight settle on her body. Her eyes were hooded and she was a little giggly as his scent engulfed her, vanilla and tobacco more prominent than the smell she tried to keep from her place.
“Mm… you’re warm.” A cool nose brushed her throat, making her shiver as the man crawled up her body and rested himself on top of her. Harry always got like this when they smoked, but it seemed even more prominent today.
“And you’re a needy little thing.” Fingers carded through his hair, knocking the beanie off his head as he buried his face in her neck. There was no real response except a whine, breath warm on her skin as he tried to warm himself up. The window had to be opened so they’d not get any real complaints from their flat, but luckily they were sure her neighbor wasn’t home today.
Comfortable silence made her melt further into the sofa, the playlist on low as her eyes fluttered shut and she busied herself with playing with his hair. He’d been a good smoking buddy for a while, but she knew why he really came over. It was only a matter of time.
A large hand slipped under her body, wiggling itself under her top to feel the hot expanse of her back. He couldn’t get close enough, needy little thing, and Y/N was fully enjoying being clung to. Physical touch always made the high even better, but that’s just her opinion. Or maybe it was physical touch was better when high? She didn’t know. Her brain didn’t want to analyze that right this second.
“Did you sleep last night? Tired?” Her voice was soft as she didn’t want to disturb the vibe, twirling a curl around her fingertips.
“No.” He shook his head, seeming like he was trying to get into her skin. “Jus’ want to get close to you. You’re warm and you smell fuckin’ incredible.” His voice was a little bit more hoarse, but that was to be expected. “You’re my favorite person... To smoke with.” He added on to the thought hurriedly but she wasn’t going to call him out on it. Fingers trailed down her spine, making her shudder a little.
“Hm, is that because I let you eat my pussy?” She smirked, feeling him pull his head form her neck with a glare. Sex with him was fantastic. Maybe it was because they were usually blazed when they did it and they both felt the sensitivity that went with it along with a more intense orgasm. He was the only one who could match her drive when she was like this, so he’d easily become a favorite person of her. Though she had a feeling that he’d do it just as well without the smoking bit, that would be something to unpack at a later date.
“Hey… don’t make me sound like a lecher.” He pouted, sending her heart to beat a bit harder. One thing she’d give the man was that he was adorable. “Not the only reason. I love doin’ that but… you have the best snacks n’you let me talk about anything. Your cunt is just a bonus… though I really do love it.” Harry wasn’t usually super shy, but sometimes he got a bit bashful when it came to Y/N. There was a slight hesitation as he let their noses brush, ghosting his lips over hers. “Can I?”
“So sweet for asking.” Y/N cooed, smiling n at his request. He wanted to kiss her. She could taste how bad he wanted it when the high had hit him, but now he wasn’t able to hold back much. “Go ahead, pretty boy. Since you seem to like it so much.”
Harry was a little messy with it, smearing their lips together and grazing his teeth over her bottom lip. There wasn’t much to hide his desperation as he adjusted himself on top of her, pulling one of her legs to wrap around his hip. “I do.” He breathed before licking into her mouth. Her lips were so sweet and soft, tasting like the cola she’d drank and mint chapstick. His favorite thing. Pulling apart with a soft clicking sound, he let out a groan as he looked down at her. Her bun was all messed up with some flyaways, lips wet and eyes hazy. His favorite sight. Seeing he undone when usually she was so put together, knowing he’d been the one to get to see her like this… it did things to his “I really fucking do.”
Y/N whimpered as he devoured her. His tongue hot in her mouth and his hand gripping her thigh to keep her close, she couldn’t help but grow hot when she felt him against her. It wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last, but it still surprised her every time. How had she ever fit that inside of her? Tightening her legs around his hips, she heard the hitch in his breathing before he pulled away from her lips to groan. It gave her a chance to pull her shirt off her body, exposing her tits to him.
Harry nearly whimpered at the sight of them, pressing a bruising kiss to her lips before making his way down. “Fuck, the things you do t’me.” He whispered, moving closer to her breasts. “Can I kiss on them a bit, pretty? It’ll feel good.” He pleaded, sighing against the skin as she nodded at the request.
Sponging kisses all over the swells, he gently rocked his hips into hers to relieve a bit of the ache. His cock was thick and throbbing, desperate for some relief. The hear of her cunt could he felt through her panties, making Harry thank whatever higher power that she’d chosen the big shirt no pants combination today. “Gorgeous. You’re so pretty, all over.” He praised, puckering his lips over a nipple for a kiss. She shivered under him, her grip in his hair getting fuller as he brought it into his mouth.
Y/N sighed in pleasure as his hot mouth suckled on her. She’d loved when he did this last time, licking over her tits while he was inside of her. He was still clothed this time but somehow that was just as hot to her. Panties were ruined regardless, but she arched her back slightly as he took more of her breast into his mouth and rolled his tongue around the nipple. “Oh, shit.” The girl whimpered, rocking her hips in return. The stimulation made her head cloudy, or maybe it was the blunt, but she didn’t really care. It all felt so fucking good, it didn’t matter. “Harry… you’re so nice t’me.” She sighed, watching him pull off with a soft ‘pop’.
“I know, sweetheart. It’s what you deserve, yeah? So nice to me too…” he sighed into her chest, placing wet kisses to the skin that glistened in the light, leaving cool spots once he left. “Let me come over and smoke, let me eat your snacks, kiss your pretty mouth… let me taste you, sometimes let me feel that perfect little pussy wrapped around me… have t’be nice to my girl.”
She didn’t have a chance to answer before he repeated the process with her other nipple, making her pant. The grinding was getting harder, her breathing matching it as he rubbed over her clit in the motions. Back and forth, sweet relief as she spread herself out further and clutched his head to her breast as he worshiped them. “Fuck me, keep going like that and M’gonna cum.” She warned him, though she had no real want of him stopping.
“So cum.” He mumbled into her skin. “Won’t be the last time you do it tonight.” And oh- oh. He sounded so self assured and cocky and it did something to her, a zap of electricity to her tummy as she moaned into the air, clinging to him.
His back was firm under her hands, not stopping herself from sliding them unde this tee shirt. His skin was burning under her palms as she dragged her nails lightly down his shoulder blades. “Harder.” He instructed, rutting into her with more force. “Scratch me. S’okay.” He couldn’t help connecting their mouths again, fingers digging into the flesh of her thigh as it clung to him.
She did as asked, surprising her when he let out a deeper groan than she’d heard before. His hips quickened, sure his gray sweats were ruined but uncaring about anything else. “Gonna make me cum in my joggers.” He panted against her lips, unable to keep himself from touching her. His mouth was a magnet to her body, his cock throbbing and balls feeling exceptionally full as he dry fucked her.
“Mm… here.” She momentarily reached between them and tugged them down far enough that he was out of them. “Cum on my panties.” Her voice rang into his ears. “Already ruined them. Can’t you feel how wet you made me?” And fuck, could he.
Without the sweats in the way he could feel her soaked through panties wetting his prick, the heat of her through the barely there fabric making him insane. Though the real thing that got him was her request. “You really want that?” He questioned, buttoning their lips together for a moment because he simply couldn’t help it. “You want t’be sticky with my load all over your panties and your skin? I’ve got so much for you…” he wasn’t joking either. It had been a bit since they’d hung out and his hand didn’t do him as much justice as she could. His dick desperately missed her.
“You know I don’t mind a mess, Harry.” She purred, moving a hand to wrap around his throat. “And you’ll be a good boy and lick it off my skin, won’t you? Then you’ll lick my pretty pussy until you’re ready to fuck me. Because you’re always such a good boy for me…”
Oh, fuck. Harry whimpered at the feeling of her hand around his throat, the drop of his guilty pleasure nickname, immediately feeling the shift. He was determined to please her before, but this tone of voice and her slight overtaking made him a bit pathetic. “Yes- yeah, M’gonna do it.” He promised, adjusting them slightly so he tip could brush right over her clit. “Anything you want. Want t’make you feel so good. M’good for you.” He nodded, messily kissing her again as he quickened the pace of his thrusts.
Y/N hummed in pleasure as he got them to the right position. His hard cock rutting against her like the fabric wasn’t even there, thick and hot. She loved feeling him, knowing she’d done that to him. Her stomach tightened as she felt the perfect thrust from him, gasping into his mouth. “Oh- yes, like that. Keep it light that, baby.” She pleaded, mouth falling open as he repeated it. “Mhm… there. Gonna cum.” She had been worked up for a little bit now but feeling his need to please her helped her get there.
“Please, please do it. Want you to cum, want you to feel so good… you’re so perfect, please cum for me. Give it to me, fuckin’ goddess….” He spoke to her like he needed her orgasm to breathe. Whimpery and needy and unlike how he usually sounded, but with his perfect angle and the friction against her clit combined with that, she was pushed over the edge.
“Yes- yes, fuck me.” Head falling further back into the cushions, she dug her nails into his back with one hand while the other tightened on his throat. Sparks igniting her nerves and her legs held on to him like a lifeline as she came. Harry never knew a prettier sight in his life than how she looked when he made her orgasm.
“Give me it too, H. Make me a sticky mess so you can clean me.” She gasped out. “You’ve been so good, I know you can give me what I want. Please?” Her voice shook slightly. “Give me what I want.” Giving just the slightest bit more pressure to the fingers on the sides of his throat, she knew exactly how much to press to make him lightheaded. Choking was a weakness of his, something that made him cum embarrassingly fast a lot of the time, but this time he was grateful as he let out a sob. His prick was slick with her and aching to release but he tried to hold back for her sake. With the mix of the high being at its height, the sensitivity overwhelming him and how she knew exactly how to touch him- The moment she called him a good boy and gave him the head rush he needed, he was a fucking goner.
“Gonna cum, gonna cum, M’gonna cum-“ he babbled her name as he found his release. Jerking against her, hot ribbons of the pearly cum shot against the covered cunt and over her tummy. His balls pulsed as he unloaded on her, smearing it over himself and her as his hips sloppily worked him through the orgasm. Face slack in rapture, he let out a hoarse groan as the last of it spilled from his tip, hips jerking a few times before he felt her hand fall and his mouth descended on hers again.
“You’re gonna be the end of me, hm?” He slurred, biting her lip with a hum before he lowered his body onto hers. His prick was sensitive but he made no move to pull back, pecking her over and over again as she caressed his cheek with her choking hand. Y/N was by far the best at it regardless, intuition leading her to know exactly what he liked. “Feel like m’fucking floating. Dunno if it’s the high or your cunt.” He snickered, feeling her return the laugh.
“Probably a mix of both.” She smiled, giving him a few kisses of her own. “But we’ve got plenty to keep it going for a while. Are you up for it, pretty boy?” The girl had no plans but to be blazed and fucked for the rest of the night, and she hoped he was on the same page.
“M’up for anything, you fuckin’ goddess.” He mumbled as he sat up on his knees to look at the mess they’d made. It was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen, her cunt and little thatch of hair visible through the now transparent fabric and splattered with cum on the ruined panties and her tummy. It made his mouth water just looking at it. “Jesus… look at this.” He mumbled, spreading her further open with his hand. “Seems like I’ve got a lot of work to do, don’t I?”
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jinkiezzsstuff · 2 days
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ELLO GOVNA, I hope you're doing wonderful.💘💘I have just a short request
Established relationship Alastor x fem reader who likes to wear lingerie to bed. Or just because she finds herself pretty in it, with literally zero intent to seduce Alastor, she just loves to wear em..(and she'll go all out when it comes to it, even wearing the long sheer robe that has the faux fur) Could be smut or fluff I don't mind…maybe even both 👀
I just simply adore your writing, so I had to request this.🫶
zuddeeee i’m so sorry for getting this to you so late! i loved this so much but struggled writing it for some reason! i hope this is good and that you enjoy it thank you so much for the request, praise and your patience it means the world to me 😭
warnings: SMUT 18+ yall, fem reader no pronouns used aside from ‘you’, alastor isn’t completely sex averse but there’s areas of discomfort mentioned, alastors magic used, reader tops not in a dominating sense but literally on top, alastors antlersss, kinda short smut part maybe? hmmm what else, not proof read because i was so anxious to get this out lmk if you see mistakes! swearing, hmmm that’s it i think
word count: 2.6k
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Alastor made the rare decision to actually go to bed with you tonight. It wasn’t like Alastor didn’t want to sleep in bed with you no, that wasn’t the case at all. More so, he wae just so busy, not to mention he could never find himself fully asleep, the deer aspect of himself left him jumping awake at any tiny sound his sensitive ears could pick up. That would be too cruel to you, keeping you up with his pitiful nonsense.
However you insisted he slept with you tonight, for some reason you’d been more clingy then usual, perhaps it was just that stage in the relationship, or perhaps he’d been away too long without notice? Whatever the case mattered not to him, he just knew you were clingy and he’d be a monster to deny you of his affections. Tying his red bathrobe closed, Alastor kicked off his deer slippers and sat back in bed with a book. Despite being in bed, his suit was still on beneath his bathrobe, feeling still hesitant to let himself get fully comfortable.
Smooth jazz hummed from Alastor filled the room as he waited for you to join him. He wasn’t privy to your nightly habits, so he had no idea how long you’d take before you returned. Alastor thought it was rude and intrusive to stick his nose into what a lady did before bed, no matter how long your relationship had lasted he wanted you to be able to have your privacy within life. I curling your nightly rituals within the bath and bed room.
Light spilt out from the brightly lit bathroom, lighting up the dim room. Alastors head turned towards the noise of the door and light on the floor, eyes widening at the sight before him. You began walking toward the bed, a long silky robe flowing with every step you took, through peaks and openings Alastor saw your skin, and where he didn’t see skin he saw deep burgundy lace.
His tail made movements beneath him as he watch you drop the robe, slipping down your figure and onto the floor just by your side of the bed. You faced his eyes with your body clad in luxurious looking lingerie, something he’d only ever seen in hell on skimps; never yourself. “My dear, what’s this?” His tone was teasing as you slipped underneath the cover, sitting up against the headboard with him. “What do you mean hun?” Alastor raised his eyebrows at you, surprised by then genuine confusion in your tone and eyes.
“Ahhh I see my dear! Subtly indicating it’s time for some good ol’ barney mugging!” Alastor chortled out tilting his head along with his laughter. You didn’t hide the confusion on your face at his words, rarely did Alastor catch you off guard with his weird old timey speech, but this one had you puzzled. “Good old what now?” Alastors tendrils came of from beside you and tugged you into his side, nestling you underneath his arm, and pressing you to his chest. “Mischievous little you, always making me say thee uncomfortable terms; sex. You dressed up so desirably, and wanted to stay tonight because you wanted attention.” Alastor whispered softly down to you, as you twisted your head up from your awkward position to meet his gaze.
Smiling softly, you pat his chest softly giving in, and coiling around him as if he were your teddy bear. “Al, I didn’t dress up to try and get sex out of you, I genuinely just wanted to have you next to me tonight! I always dress like this for bed, you’d know if you came to bed more.” You lightly jab, still smiling sweetly at the deer above you. His eyes flickered with varying emotions that you couldn’t quite pick up on, although his smile never faltered remaining the same throughout. “I didn’t think anybody wore those types of garments to sleep.” Alastor admitted slumping further down on the headboard of the bed, he didn’t feel ashamed of jumping to conclusions on the type of outfit you doted, however he was still racking his brain on the fact you just wanted him here; why?
“You should really change too Al, these ain’t comfy.” You muttered nuzzling yourself into his neck, the tips of his hair tickling your face, and his pesky suit collar getting in the way. “Darling i’m the radio demon, demons don’t undress.” Humming absentmindedly in response, your hand danced down his chest, caressing the large quantity of fabric that seperated your hand from his chest. Reaching the belt in his robe, you were easily able to untie it, and your hands made there way back up to unbutton every button your fingers touched. Alastors static flickered with warning, but you knew he’d never hurt you like that, so to you it was no more threatening that a disapproving look.
Although he didn’t like the idea of being in a vulnerable position where anybody could catch him lacking, he allowed you to undo the buttons in his top slowly, even helping you at times when you couldn’t get one undone. “i know you’re uncomfortable at times, but you don’t have to be naked, just more relaxed.” You say as his white button up was finally opened, leaning back from your position you tugged at the robe indicating you wanted it off. Following in suit, Alastor sat up with a flat hum falling out of him, you wasted no time pulling off the robe, jacket and button down shirt all at once, before chucking it off onto the floor.
“I love your flesh, y’know that?” You coo, running your hand over every scar and decorated line that scattered across his body. You flopped back on the bed with a smile, Alastor slowly lowering himself beside you right after. “For a sinner who isn’t a cannibal my dear, that was awfully cannibalistic of you.” You grinned at him, scooting up beside him and repositioning yourself under his chin. “What can I say, you’re rubbing off on me.” Alastors hand came down the back of your head and trailed down your back, toying with the lace and band of your brassiere. “I still think you should take off your suit pants, by the way.” You muttered eyes blinking slowly, feeling exhaustion wash over your body in waves, there was something about being settled down neck to Alastor that made you feel sleepier than before.
“Hmm, s’pose I could indulge you this once.” Alastor grumbled succumbing to your wishes, with one hand he unbuttoned his slacks and unzipped his zipper, then with the help of his tentacles he pulled his pants off and tossed them aside. Your leg immediately came up to wrap around his torso, feeling his warm flesh beneath your thigh and calf was enough to make you slightly throb, which made you feel a bit guilty; after all you said you weren’t seducing him. Thankfully as your leg rested underneath his bellybutton on his pelvis, you felt shivers run through him, which he tried and failed to play off as a yawn.
Guess you weren’t the only one thinking naughty tonight. “Would you…” You trail quietly wondering if you should ruin the soft moment between you two. You heard a staticky hum sound from Alastor, almost like a rattle, and decided to simply go for it. “Would you like it if I was trying to seduce you? Would you wanna lil barney- whatever.” You breath out a laugh at the silly term. Alastor hummed thoughtfully, his claw tracing up your back with slow purpose. Alastor didn’t feel as though he knew how to answer, yes he did enjoy the indulging act every now and again with you, however it could be tedious at times.
“Can i ride you?” You blurt out sitting up. Alastors ears flickered rapidly as his eyes widened, his smile barely faltered but everything you needed to know was in his eyes and ears. Smiling coyly, you bring your own clawed hand up to caress his face. “Do your cheeks get tired from all the smiling?” You asked slowly and gently shifting your hips on top of his own, setting yourself down on top of him, lent forward toward his face. “Painfully so,” Alastor whispered his static gone as he watched through lidded eyes you grind your body against his own slowly. “I bet you’re so tired all the time honey, you need to be taken care of.” You cooed pecking his chest, below you cold feel the swell in his boxers, the lights in the room also began to act up.
“Absolutely done in my dear,” Alastor responded lowly his hands coming up carefully to your hips. “Do you intend to help me?” You nodded with a smile, and dropped your core down onto his aching bulge. With a hiss Alastor gripped your hips, nails cutting into you as you carefully grind your clothed core against him. Anticipation bubbled within you and you held back the strong urge to quicken your speed and ravage him fully, but you knew how Alastor felt and didn’t want to secretly overwhelm him in an uncomfortable way.
Lifting your hips, Alastor tried to yank you back down to him with a static growl coming from him. You tsked at him, fighting against his strength and reaching below your bodies to carefully release him from his briefs. “Don’t fight me Alastor, I'm just trying to help.” You grinned pulling the pricey pair of panties aside, revealing the glisenting of your heat. Alastor watched eyes wide as you slid slowly against his length, folds encasing his cock and covering him with your arousal. Alastors hands came down to grip the sheets, hoisting himself up slightly with his elbows to watch your sinful display.
You watched the gears turn in Alastors head, it was obvious to you how hard he was struggling to let you maintain the control. His ears were drooped down to the sides of his head, his smile lessened and struggling to stay high as you teased him. You set you body down fully feeling the head of him poke at your sensitive clit, making you jolt your mouth falling open into a silent moan. Alastor hissed like a snake, air escaping through his clenched teeth as you dragged your hips back and forth against him slowly.
Alastor was always in control when you two had sex, it was the only way he’d have it typically, let him maintain his image and aesthetics of control, being subservient just didn’t suit him. God forbid anybody walk in to see the state he was in. Alastor tensed at the thought, head craning towards the unlocked door, his eyes widening. He didn’t like feeling anxiety but he did feel it now, and he feels it anytime he’s put in these positions he hated it. The sensation in his stomach made him want to pull his hair out, the feeling of fear making him feel insane. How could someone like him feel these stupid emotions?
“Hey,” You whispered, halting your movements, and slowly resting your hand on his cheek. You noticed his demeanour suddenly shift as he began eyeing the door, your gaze followed but it was lacklustre as there was nothing there. “Al, we can stop if you’d like?” Alastors hair was puffed like a cat and his ears were pinched back instead of their previous position relaxed at the sides. “We’re just so terribly exposed my dear,” Alastor muttered glaring at the door. “May I… alter, our surroundings?” You watched him trail decisively, trying to remain indifferent on the outside when clearly he was squirmy. “Sure thing hun, do as you need.”
Smiling you watched as his demeanour shifted from on edge to confident, the hair on his head once puffed now relaxed. Smooth jazz filled the surroundings, reverberating off the walls and around the room, then your jaw dropped slightly as you watched Alastors magic to encase you safely in the wispy dome he conjured around the bed. Your eyes casted down at him, eyebrow quirked with disbelief, he only grinned cheekily up at you, arms finding their way to rest behind his head. “Ahh safe and sound my dear, where no sneaky prying eyes could see your beauty, and my fragility.” A soft laugh track played out at his exclamation, and unknowing admission of his feelings.
Angling your hips forward and down you reviled in the feeling of him twitching needily against you. “I suppose you are right, I admit Vox makes me paranoid.” Alastors static crackled madly at the mention, normally he didn’t let himself get away with showing this type of anger towards such a lowlife, but the admission that Vox put you on edge? That pissed him off. “Relax Al, i know you can take of me if I need it.” You assure petting his hair affectionately, which he typically didn’t enjoy but for the moment he allowed it.
His grin was calm as he found his zen again, relaxing into the mattress and the feeling of you squirming above him. With a hum Alastor pulled his hands out from behind him and snaked them beneath you two, grasping his dark grey member that was covered in your slick arousal. “I think it’s enough teasing dear, it’s beginning to become ever so painful.” He teased with a coy tone in his voice, you whined as he prodded your entrance slipping in the head of his cock with ease. You heard a echoed hiss of feedback play out of the static as he slid deeper into you, your back arching as you felt yourself sink down fully. “Oh shit Al, i know I'm gonna cum fast.” You whined, already rocking yourself against him. Alastor was as stiff as a board, his hands reactively flying back to your hips digging his nails into them, as he strained against the animalistic urges to ram into you like the wild animal he was.
His antlers grew large, spanning across the length of the bed as you began to ride him, his knees coming up giving you something to grab onto. All that could be heard, was the distracting jazz, and the echoing skin slapping that reverberated through the bubble. Alastors nostrils flare at the smell of you encasing him, he tried to hide the whines he made by swallowing but it was no luck once you began to clamp down on him. Crying out loudly you fell forward hands on each side of him as you crazily fucked yourself on him, selfishly chasing your own orgasm. Although Alastor didn’t mind, he felt himself holding on to the edge of his climax as he watched your face contort and listened to your pleas for him. A ballistic growl ripped out of Alastors chest as he came, giving into the desire to be disgustingly horny; he encased your hips with his arms, moaning your name into your ear as he thrusted into your body vigorously.
You gripped his antlers as he did so, feeling your clit bump against his pubic hair and flesh, you could feel yourself getting so close but this one was dragging out. You begged Alastor not to stop as you throbbed and clenched, and when you did Alastor pulled his head back to meet your lips. His tongue sliding into your mouth, warm lips against your own and clashing teeth was enough to make you come. Your body convulsed against his, whining and crying into his mouth as you made a mess of him and your bed. After a moment where you both rode out your high, you finally detached from the lips, your body’s simultaneously falling back, his against the bed and your body against his. Alastors magic collapsed around you, the shield once encasing you gone, the jazz that once carried through the crackled off moments ago. The two of you panted, wordlessly recouping. “I think i’ll sleep with you more often dear, i have to admit, that was quite the sleeping aid.”
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midnightsslut · 1 day
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religion is one of the most prominent recurring themes on the album, and it has been present in some capacity for quite a few records now. taylor previously compared love to religion: her saving grace, her belief system, and a fated divine intervention (false god, cornelia street, and cruel summer are the best examples of this). ‘sacred new beginnings that became my religion’ and ‘we’d still worship this love even if it’s a false god’ are two of the defining statements about her philosophy on the lover album.
taylor doesn’t want to leave all of that behind on ttpd, at least not at the beginning. the first supernatural force she mentions is the spaceship on down bad, which she compares to a skylight of freedom in the epilogue. *something* has finally come to save her from her life of suffering. she doesn’t care if it’s a force of good at first; if anything, she’s just fine being taken away by aliens. she views this man as her destiny. it isn’t until guilty as sin? that taylor starts to ponder the moral implications of what she’s doing. is she guilty as sin for wanting to leave her previous religion and relationship behind? she comes to the conclusion that, even if she rolls the stone away and gets resurrected/redeemed, she cannot avoid the fallout. she is okay with the thought of having to wait, as long as both lovers vow to be together forever, just as she once did with someone else in false god. ‘I choose you and me religiously’ finishes the bridge of the song in a direct callback to cornelia street.
the next mention of religion has murkier imagery. she claims that she does not need the Lord’s help to save this man. she sees the halo that he has, and she can fix him herself. now that she feels free of her prior cage, she isn’t looking for divine intervention anymore. she wants control. she is their route to salvation.
when the relationship falls apart, she retreats back into the position of a believer rather than a divine figure. she compares him to a Holy Ghost who promised to save her and take her to heaven. instead, she is in hell in every sense of the word: she’s down bad and feels guilty for digging up the grave. he was a jehovah’s witness who promised that she could break free of the cage imposed by love without changing her religion altogether; she would’ve just had to switch denominations. she could still have a marriage and kids! she could still have a blue tortured poet! the man was different, but not the dreams they had together. the story of the first part of the album ends here. her faith has been broken, and she has only found any semblance of sanity by refusing to mention these belief systems altogether.
side b/the anthology blends the christian imagery of side a with goddesses, sorcerers, and prophecies. she bargains with these powers to let her have the future she wants (the prophecy). she doesn’t sound like someone believing in salvation. if anything, she feels cursed. she decides that the concept of divinely ordained timing will never work in certain relationships (‘the goddess of timing once found us beguiling / she said she was trying / peter, was she lying?’). this disdain extends onto her perception of other people’s faith (‘bet they never spared a prayer for my soul’). she does position herself as a prophet in cassandra, but even then, she admits that the role has hurt her. perhaps the pain in thank you aimee was meant to be, or perhaps she was just strong enough to build a legacy in spite of it, boulder by boulder. is she a martyr? does she want to be? or did she save herself?
the only real love song on this half of the album makes no mention of fate or any divine forces. it wasn’t meant to be. it’s not a supernatural invisible string or lightning in a bottle. she is just in love.
the album ends with the manuscript, which revisits an old story of a defining, formative heartbreak. as she sings ‘at last, she knew what the agony had been for’ while describing the legacy of her writing, she seems to revert to thinking about the purpose of trauma. the only exception is that, in this case, she is the one who found meaning in her pain by turning it into a manuscript. writing is her belief system now, and she proselytizes by telling her stories and thus giving up the manuscript.
ultimately, her belief in destiny has chewed her up and spat her out. she so desperately clung to her existing belief systems that she was fooled by a conman, which left her feeling cursed. religion is supposed to be with someone even in their darkest moments, but the album explains that taylor often felt abandoned. the only constant in her life was, well, herself. she’ll be okay, but her pen will be her saving grace.
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girlgenius1111 · 2 days
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flipped 2
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ingrid x mapi x reader fluff + angst. r and mapi try to get to the bottom of what's going on with ingrid. wasn't positive i was going to write this but anything for @sunnyaelia
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When Ingrid woke, she didn’t open her eyes right away. She was much too comfortable, a soft blanket draped over her body, her face pressed comfortably into Mapi’s sweatshirt. She could feel your hands on her back, slipped up under the shirt you’d pulled on her. Your hands were smoother than Mapi’s, mindlessly stroking up and down. She could hear you both talking quietly, too, and the sounds of your voices were like some kind of soothing drug. You were mostly just talking about nothing, but a question Mapi posed caught her attention. 
“How does your head feel?” She asked softly, brushing some hair back away from your forehead. 
Honestly, it didn’t feel good. It was pulsing with a headache that you knew was from exerting yourself too much, from the rush of endorphins and chemicals in your brain. The pressure inside your skull was intense, and though it wasn’t very pleasant, you didn’t mind much. Not if the cause had made your girlfriend this relaxed in Mapi’s arms. 
“Okay.” You lied, not wanting to draw attention away from Ingrid for even a moment. 
“How does your head feel?” Mapi asked again, frowning this time as she could tell you weren’t telling the truth. 
“It’s been better.” You allowed, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of Mapi gently running a finger over your forehead. 
“Amor,”
“How is your knee?” You countered. Mapi rolled her eyes. 
“Do not change the subject. You should have told me it was bothering you.” 
“I was fine. Ingrid needed this. It’s worth it, if she feels better.” You argued back. Mapi had a hard time coming up with a dissenting response, because honestly, she’d do almost anything to make Ingrid feel better, too. Instead, she turned her attention to the woman draped over her, her lips pulling into an involuntary smile at the sight. 
“She looks relaxed.” Mapi murmured, taking in the perfection of Ingrid’s face, a perfection she never got tired of looking at. 
“I’m worried she’s going to go back to how she was before when she wakes up. Acting like she’s fine, running herself into the ground. It’s a miracle she hasn’t picked up an injury yet, María, we can’t let her go on like this.” 
Mapi hummed her agreement, and Ingrid felt her heart clench. It wasn’t her intention to make you guys worry, really the opposite. She wanted to take care of everything possible so that neither of you had to worry. She wanted to play so well, it instilled confidence in the team that the back line was secure. She wanted to be a leader. She wanted to be dependable. She wanted to be perfect, perfect for both of you. 
The realization that she hadn’t been able to do this for you stung, and she felt tears welling in her eyes before she could do anything to stop it. Both you and Mapi noticed her stiffen slightly, and the way her eyes scrunched together told you all you needed to know. Before either of you could speak, Ingrid was forcing her eyes open, a devastated green looking up at you. 
“I’m sorry I’ve been worrying you,” she whispered, her forehead creasing with sadness. 
“You don’t need to say sorry for that, amor.” Mapi promised. 
Ingrid shook her head, biting her lip as it trembled, so hard she almost seemed angry with herself for crying. “No, you both have more important things to worry about than me, I’m okay.” 
“We have nothing more important to worry about than you, Ingrid. Nothing. Don’t say stuff like that because it isn’t true.” You said, unable to hide how upset her statement made you, and wondering how you and Mapi had messed up so badly that Ingrid was so convinced that she wasn’t important. “You are the most important thing to us.” 
The pure disbelief on Ingrid’s face felt like a bullet through the heart. The Norwegian always came across as so confident, so sure of herself. This façade tricked the whole world into thinking she believed it, and it had tricked the two of you too. This realization stunned you into silence, briefly, a silence that Ingrid frantically tried to fill. 
“No, no, you’re both hurt. I need to take care of you, I need to make sure you both are okay. Let me up, please, María, I need to get her some ice for her head.” Ingrid sniffled, fighting the tight embrace Mapi’s arms had her in. The Spaniard shook her head firmly, but looked at you with concern. 
“Love, I’m okay, I promise you.” You implored. 
“You need me.” Ingrid repeated brokenly. 
Slowly, you nodded, eyes searching her pained expression. “I do need you. I always need you. You need us too, though. Can you let us take care of you?” 
“I don’t need to be taken care of,” she began, only growing more teary eyed when Mapi cut her off. 
“Stop, amor, stop lying. You said earlier you feel the most stressed you have ever felt in your life. Forgot about my knee for a minute, forget about her head. We are okay, but we need you to be okay too. It’s okay for you to need us.”  
Ingrid shook her head rapidly. “No. I can’t need you.”
“Why not, princesa?” Mapi asked, in a soft tone of voice she reserved for you and Ingrid. Her gaze was beyond gentle as she regarded the Norwegian women, one tattooed hand cradling a freckled cheek.
 “I can’t need you because you both deserve so much better than me, I don’t deserve to be loved by you.” she said quietly, rushing the words out as if they’d been swirling around in her head for some time. She missed the anger that flashed across Mapi’s face, but you didn’t. You felt the same way, honestly. You wanted to seek out whatever had made her feel like this, but you had a feeling that the trail would just lead you back to her. Perfect, beautiful, kind Ingrid. You couldn’t shout the insecure part of her away, it wouldn’t work. So, you rested a hand on Mapi’s shoulder to calm her, but it seemed that she had reached the same conclusion that you had.
“Mi princesa,” she whispered roughly. “I could spend 100 lifetimes loving you and it wouldn’t be enough. I do not care what you think I deserve. I love you. I want you. You do not need to earn my love, mi princesa. You have it. Always. For the rest of your life, for the rest of time. You just have it.” 
Ingrid pushed her face into Mapi’s sweatshirt, her tears quietly soaking into the soft fabric. She looked so unlike herself, all broken and small. She clearly craved the reassurance, but was terrified to accept it. 
You swallowed thickly, running your hand through her thick hair in an effort to get her to look at you. She didn't look up, but you spoke anyway. “Ingrid, where is this coming from? Did we do something to make you feel like this?” 
Her voice was muffled but still audibly distraught when she replied. “No, I know you love me. I know you want me. I just… I don't always understand why. All I can see are my flaws, all the things I do wrong, and I hate myself for them. If I let you take care of me… you’ll see them too.” 
It was so absurd, you wanted to laugh. You didn’t, though. You just took a deep breath, thinking that the agonized expression on Mapi’s face probably matched yours right now.
 “Ingrid… I don’t know what flaws you see in yourself. You are as close to perfection as I have ever seen a person get.” You rolled your eyes at Mapi’s slight pout at your statement. “Anything you consider to be a flaw… it's miniscule in the scale of how much we love you. We want you to need us. You don’t need to be completely put together all the time. You don’t need to suffer by yourself just because you deem your stressors insignificant in comparison to ours.”
“Amor, you can always lean on us. Even if my knee is fucked. I don’t need two working legs to take care of you. There is no flaw, nothing in the world that you could do that would make us not want you. That would make us see you any differently than we do now. You are ours. That will never change, mi amor, never.” 
You were startled to see tears welling in Mapi’s eyes, but you understood. It was painful to see someone you loved so much feel so awful, and keep it from you. It was painful to realize you’d missed something because you were too wrapped up in yourself to pay enough attention and realize what was going on sooner. 
“We have to do better, sí? It is not enough to tell you that we love you. We have to remind you of why, and we will, mi princesa, I promise you We will.” Mapi whispered, her voice thick with emotion, and holding a quiet promise, one that was clear to Ingrid. And really, if anyone could fix this horrible way of thinking she knew she shouldn’t engage in, it would be the two of you. 
“Tomorrow is Ingrid day.” You declared. “We’ll do whatever you want. We’ll spend the whole day telling you what we love about you, if that’s what it takes.” 
Ingrid let out a choked laugh, allowing Mapi to gently wipe her tears off her face. “I just want to stay here. And lay with you both. Can we do that?” She asked shyly. 
“Of course we can.” María smiled. “Whatever you want, princesa, I mean it.” 
Ingrid turned her attention to you, allowing some worry to creep back into her gaze. “I want you to rest tomorrow, too.” 
“I will, if that makes you happy.” You promised, smiling softly at her, a smile she returned. 
“You both are perfect.” She said, looking between the two of you like she couldn’t quite believe her luck. 
“Then you are perfect, too. Beautiful.” Mapi leaned up to press a kiss to Ingrid’s lips, murmuring each word in between kisses. “Kind. Hardworking. Perfect, amor. So perfect.” 
You were glad to see the blush on Ingrid’s cheeks, knowing that it meant you’d both gotten through to her, at least a little bit. The Norwegian settled her face into Mapi’s neck, her hand reaching out to twist into your shirt and pull you closer. You fit in next to them so easily. You always would, and so would they. Because maybe you weren’t all actually perfect. You were, however, perfect for each other. 
------
this was physically painful to write for no reason and it's short but the words were not flowing. it's done now though and i hope you all like :)
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pockettwinzz · 3 days
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7 Minutes In Heaven - S.JK
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౨ৎsynopsis౨ৎ : Seven minutes in heaven with your annoying enemy; how would it go...
౨ৎwarnings౨ৎ : MDNI, Smut, blowjob, oral[m!receiving], unprotected sex[naurr],
౨ৎauthor's Note౨ৎ : So this was supposed to be released after my Heeseung fic but dumbass mfing tumblr didn't save my draft so i'm gonna have to re-write some scenes :( will be uploading it asap!!!! dividers by @dollywons
౨ৎwc౨ৎ : 1.6k
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Jake and I had never really talked much since freshman year. Anytime we'd try to talk we'd end up arguing about something. Everyone in college knows about it by now.
Tonight, we're at a camping trip with some of our mutual friends. As the night progresses, they drag us into playing truth or dare. When it's my turn, the idiot who's supposed to be my friend dares me to do something insane. "Y/N, you have to spend seven minutes in heaven with Jake."
I groan, not wanting to do this at all. But I have to, or I'll look like a chicken. So, with a sigh, I agree to it. I close my eyes and feel Jake's warm breath on my neck as we're led into the room. I can't help but feel a little bit nervous.
I said to Jake, my voice shaking slightly. "So umm what are we supposed to do?I mean, we could just… talk, I guess?"
Jake scoffs. "I don't want to talk to you. But if you insist…" He pulls me closer, his body pressed against mine. His hands slide up my shirt, sending shivers down my spine. "We could do other things," he whispers, his breath hot against my ear.
My heart skips a beat. I'm not sure if I should be angry or aroused by this. Jake's touch feels so good, so foreign. He reaches around, unhooking my bra with ease, before tossing it aside. His fingers trace circles around my nipple, making me gasp.
I want to hate this, but my body betrays me. It wants more.
I arch my back, pressing myself against his touch. "Jake…," I breathe out, my voice husky. He smirks, leaning in to capture my lips in a heated kiss. His tongue dances with mine, sending a jolt of desire through my entire body. His hand finds its way down my shorts, his fingers slipping beneath the fabric, teasing.
I moan into his kiss, feeling myself grow wetter by the second. I want him to touch me there, to make me feel good. I break away from the kiss, gasping for air, and reach down to unfasten his pants. My fingers brush against his hardness, and I'm taken aback by how big he is. I've never been with anyone this big before.
Jake helps me pull his pants down, revealing his boxer briefs. I reach for the waistband, but he stops me, pushing my hand aside. "Let me take care of that," he says, his voice husky. With practiced movements, he pulls down his underwear, freeing his erection.
He steps back, giving me a moment to take in his fully exposed body. I'm mesmerized by the sight of him, hard and ready for me. He's so confident, so sure of himself. It's almost intimidating. But at the same time, it's incredibly arousing.
I reach out, tentatively touching the tip of his cock. He lets out a shuddering breath, and I feel the heat emanating from his body. His eyes are locked on mine as I stroke him, slowly at first, but then faster, matching the rhythm of my own heartbeat.
He grabs my hand, guiding it, showing me how he likes it. I can feel the veins pulsing beneath his skin, the taut muscles quivering with each touch. His hips begin to move in time with my strokes.
"That's it, baby," he groans. "You're doing so good."
I lean forward, taking him into my mouth. His tip presses against the back of my throat, and I gag a little. He reaches down, wrapping his hand around my hair, guiding me. "Just take it slow, sweetheart. Let me feel you around me."
I obey, sucking gently at first and then harder as I get the hang of it. His hips buck against my face, and I can taste the precum on my tongue. It's salty and sweet, and I can't help but want more. I stroke him with my tongue, feeling the veins pulsing beneath his skin. He moans, the vibrations sending shivers down my spine.
His hand tangles in my hair, holding me in place as he thrusts deeper. "Fuck, that's it," he groans. "You're so good at that." His cock twitches in my mouth, and a warm, thick fluid fills my mouth. I swallow quickly, feeling it trickle down my throat.
He pulls me up, grabbing my ass in his hands, and pushes me back against the wall. His hips begin to move, his cock thrusting against my lips. I open wider, taking him deeper, feeling the head of his cock brush against my entrance. He growls, his hips stuttering, and then he's inside me.
I let out a moan as he fills me, feeling him stretch me, claim me. He begins to move, his hips slamming into mine in a furious rhythm. I can feel the strength in him, the power that he has over me. He grips my shoulders, his fingers digging into my skin as he takes control of our encounter.
My head falls back against the wall, and I let out a gasp as he hits a particularly sensitive spot inside me. His thrusts grow deeper, harder, and I can feel myself beginning to lose control. I reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him down for a bruising kiss.
He groans into the kiss, his hips stuttering against mine as he tries to maintain his rhythm. I can feel the strength in his arms, the way they hold me up, the way they keep me close. He's so big, so powerful, and yet he's gentle with me, almost tender.
His thrusts become more erratic, more urgent. I can feel the tension building in him, the way his breath comes in ragged gasps. I want to make him feel good, want him to let go, so I arch my back, pressing myself deeper against his hips. His cock hits my sweet spot, and he cries out, his body tense as he comes inside me.
He holds me close, his strength steadying me as I feel the aftershocks of his release. His hips slow, but he doesn't pull out. He leans in, kissing my neck, my jaw, my lips. His skin is warm against mine, and I can feel the softness of his hair against my cheek.
"You feel so good," he murmurs, his voice raspy with desire. "So tight, so hot." His hips begin to move again, the friction between us growing more intense with each thrust. He groans, the vibrations traveling up my spine and making my toes curl.
His fingers dance over my skin, tracing patterns that send shivers through my body. He finds my sensitive bundle of nerves, and his touch is electric. "God, I love how you respond to me," he whispers, his lips brushing against my ear.
I lean into his touch, my hips meeting his rhythm. The friction between us grows more intense, more demanding. I can feel myself growing wetter, hotter. His cock strokes my inner walls, finding that perfect spot that drives me wild.
He groans, his breath hot against my neck. "You're so fucking amazing," he whispers, his fingers digging into my hips. "I could feel you tighten around me, feel you get wetter." His hips thrust harder, faster, his cock hitting deep inside me with each thrust.
I was crying out his name as a shudder runs through me. His touch is so gentle, so tender, it's almost too much to bear. He finds my clit with his thumb, circling it expertly, driving me wild. I grip his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin as I feel the pressure building, the need growing more urgent.
"J-jake….. I'm close.." I manage to choke out, my body trembling under his touch. His thrusts grow faster, harder, each one pushing me closer to the edge. He leans down, capturing my mouth in a bruising kiss, his tongue thrusting deep inside. I can taste myself on him, feel the heat of our bodies as we move together.
He pulls back, watching me intently as his fingers continue to work their magic on my sensitive skin. His touch is so gentle, so knowing, and it sends waves of pleasure coursing through me. "Come for me, baby," he whispers, his voice rough with desire. "I want to feel you come on my cock."
That was my last straw. I came with a scream, my body arching off the bed as my orgasm took me, waves of pleasure rolling through me. Jake's name was torn from my lips as I convulsed around him, my muscles gripping his cock in time with my spasms.
He followed me over the edge, his body tensing as he cried out, his hips bucking wildly. His hot cum spilled inside me, filling me up as he came, his grip on my hips unyielding. For a moment, we were both suspended in time, our bodies still joined as we caught our breath.
The room was hazy with the scent of our sweat and the lingering traces of our pleasure. Jake rolled off me, collapsing onto his back beside me, his chest heaving. I traced a finger along the line of his jaw, admiring the play of muscles beneath his skin. "You're amazing," I whispered, kissing his neck.
He laughed, the sound husky and satisfied. "You're not so bad yourself." He propped himself up on one elbow, gazing down at me. "Now think of an excuse baby. What are you gonna tell 'em we were doing cause it's been more than 7 minutes."
"We were just… talking. Getting to know each other a little better."
Jake chuckled, "Do you wanna talk some more?"
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౨ৎperm taglist౨ৎ : @alvojake @cha-eui @heeslut4life @dollywons @wondipity @wonlvkay
My taglist is open. I will not be adding minors or blogs that do not have their ages mentioned <3. If you wanna be added feel free to send me an ask :3
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 8 hours
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i always end up writing way more than i intend to so im just gonna keep it short. hockey player! bakugou who’s absolutely enamored with lil ole quiet you. squealing. (ps @bkgpackets this is all your fault)
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hockey player! bakugou who’s the star player of his team, who could have anyone he wants yet his eyes always search around in the stands for you so he can flash you that smirk.
hockey player! bakugou who absolutely demands a kiss on the cheek before every game, claims it brings him good luck even tho he really doesn’t need it. “m’not goin’ out there till you give me my kiss, sweetheart”
hockey player! bakugou who despite seeming all cool and casual, gets so incredibly nervous when he’s has to show any sign of being interested in you. his hands clammy when he brings you your favorite snack from that bakery you liked to go to when you were paired up for the project that sealed his fate. his friends never miss an opportunity to make fun of him for it, but he’d much rather take this than any chances of some random loser asking you out before he does
hockey player! bakugou who despite being the definition of a total hunk, is actually inexperienced as hell. he’s clunky and a little awkward when he asks you out, almost shoving the bouquet of your favorite flowers you’d once mentioned in passing in your face unceremoniously, but that cute little blush on his cheeks is to die for.
hockey player! bakugou who despite being inexperienced is also the most insufferable piece of shit ever. he teases you mercilessly, he tickles and pokes you and sneaks up behind you just to hear you squeal. he traps you between his broad chest and your locker just to see how flustered you get from how public he’s being. (not like he cares anyway) he’ll bite and kiss you randomly and he’ll steal bites of your food to see you pout and to have an excuse to share his lunch with you. “now we’re even so quite whinin’.” he snickers.
hockey player! bakugou who loves when you get all fired up for him. who feels his heart somersault in his chest when you give him your sweet pep talks during intermissions. who loves when you place your hands against his cheeks and can’t count the amount of times his mouth goes dry when you tell him he’s got this. who kisses you square on the mouth before he has to go and strategize with his team, newly reinvigorated resolve because his girl is watching and cheering him on.
hockey player! bakugou who after his team wins and they’re done celebrating, immediately bounds over to you with that dashing smile and picks you up over his shoulder. whooping and laughing meanly at your squeals and giggles while he carried you around like you’re the trophy. who kisses you long and hard before pulling away and grinning so so bright it almost blinds you but you can’t look away “you really are my good luck charm, aren’t ya ?”
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keen-li · 3 days
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MA'AM
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18+
MDNI
Neighbour au. age gap au (reader is older than jk). kissing, touching, oral (female receiving), fingering, jk calls reader ''ma'am''. reader is kinda lonely, bored and untouched. p in v, no protection (be wise and condomize guys).
this is all just fiction, don't take it too seriously.
plus im stil learing to write smut, so go easy on me.
helpful and positve feedback is appreciated.
Sorry for any typos.
--
‘’oh yn,’’ you hear a familiar boy-ish voice speak.
And when you turn, your eyes are met with jungkook.
You know him cause he’s your neighbour, but you rarely speak seeing that you have nothing in common but he’s always kind and sweet whenever you bump into each other.
Like right now.
‘’jungkook’’ you say surprised to see him. ‘’how are you?’’ you give him back a smile.
You haven’t seen him in a while, he must be busy with college (you assume) or maybe he’s busy with some girlfriend. Guys his age are usually swarmed with girls. Especially seeing how attractive he is. The college girls must be having fun with him.
You admire his hair that seems to have gotten longer. You can’t help but notice how good he looks with it.
‘’i’m good, hope you’re doing well..’’ he pauses in his speech ‘’haven’t heard from you in a while. I almost thought you moved out’’
You chuckle at his assumption.
You shake your head lightly as you chuckle ‘’nope. Just busy with work’’
‘’i dont think i’d ever move out honestly’’ seeing as this apartment has a fair price for rent.
He chuckles.
‘’im glad thought i scared you away’’ he says worriedly.
‘’you’d never scare me away’’ you mumble out suddenly feeling nervous.
‘’with all those noise complaints you handed to me?’’ He says with a warm joking tone.
You can’t deny that a lot of noise comes from jungkook’s apartment, that you had to report him. You kinda feel childish for doing it, he’s a college boy anyways. All they know is noise.
‘’but i do get it. I make a lot of noise’’ he uses his pointer and middle finger to rub his lower lip, you get the chance to admire his tattooed finger and pierced lip.
You feel yourself swallow the lump in your throat and bite your lip. You don’t know why you always feel like this when talking to jungkook, maybe it’s his hovering figure, intimidating voice or piercing brown eyes. Even though his eyes give off a soft innocent look you can’t help but observe the sensuality in them.
‘’um yeah’’ you don’t know what else to say. Your eyes can barely look at jungkook while his eyes can’t stop looking at you. There’s no way a college boy can make you feel this nervous. You thought you had outgrown it.
Or maybe it’s the aloneness since your last boyfriend. It’s been quite depressive but you try and not let it eat you up.
But it’s hard when you and jungkook’s walls are as thin as paper. and can hear everything that goes on. Especially when he has a girl over.
You don’t mean to listen to what happens, but what else can you do when you’re laying in bed, bored and lonely. It seems sad you end up finding your hand in-between your thighs as you hear how jungkook pleasures.
With all the groans and name moaning you have come to the conclusion that jungkook must be a great fuck. But it’s not like you’ll ever know. Do you even want to?
You can never fuck someone younger than you right? You’ve always dated older men or at least someone the same age as you. You’ve never been with a younger guy before.
But jungkook seems like he could definitely go for an older woman.
Wait.
Does jungkook want you. He does seem to give off that vibe but maybe you’re in over your head. Jungkook wouldn’t want you there are so many better options for him. So many better girls for him. Not you.
‘’so do you like those?’’ he askes pointing to the basket you have filled with ramen noodles cups.
You chuckle embarrassed.
‘’ yeah i do but, i mainly buy them cause i don’t have time to cook’’
He nods.
‘’maybe i can come cook for you one day’’ you laugh but he’s actually serious.
‘’oh, i wouldn’t mind but i assume you’re busy with school’’ you swing the basket lightly and unconsciously.
‘’i can find time’’ he says a little rushed out.
‘’then i wouldn’t mind’’ you smile.
‘’you going home?’’ he asks.
You nod.
‘’i guess i can give you a ride home, if that’s alright with you’’
You wouldn’t mind at all.
-
The ride back home was quiet. It still baffles you to how jungkook has a car.
When you were in college you could barely find money to buy food, let alone a car.
And even with a job you can barely find money to buy or rent a car.
‘’thanks for the ride, it was nice meeting you today jungkook’’
The way you smile and say his name makes a hot flash rush through him.
If only you knew how many times his thought of you calling out his name. Sometimes he wishes it was you in his bed, toes curling and back arching.
If he got the chance, he’d show you how you deserve everything.
You don’t deserve to get yourself off and barely get off.
Did he ever say that the walls are so thin that he can hear you too.
He’s heard your frustrated moans and grunts. And all the times you cursed cause of how hard it was to get your high, sometimes his heard you cry and it breaks his heart.
He wishes he could get a chance to please you. He’s never wanted to please someone so bad.
He’s never been so desperate to get on his knees and run you dry of all your juices. To feel you claw at his back as you take him so well.
But he’s also never thought of being with an older woman.
Jungkook knows you’re older than him and he doesn’t mind. Actually he makes him want you more.
He wants you like air and if he doesn’t get you now he feels like he would stop breathing.
So if he doesn’t take this opportunity now he might never have the chance to.
‘’do you wanna, come eat ramen with me?’’
-
You don’t know how it happened. But he asked you to come over to his, you didn’t see a problem with it so you said yes.
But you don’t know how you went from laughing over some movie to grinding on his lap as your lips intertwine hungrily.
Fuck. You never thought you’d be doing this with your neighbour and fuck you never thought it would feel this good.
Your hands roam his firm chest, and your thoughts are proved right, he does like the gym. Though you could’ve known that without clawing at his chest.
These younger guys are always in the gym, like their life depends on it.
Your gasps and moans mix. You don’t know how innocent sounds of laughter turned into hot whimpers of need.
Maybe it was the stares that seemed to linger for longer than they should have.
Jungkook takes a moment to take in your face but then his lips are soon on yours again as eager as ever, and you accept them.
He kisses you with eagerness and desperation. Desperation to touch and feel you in every way.
You moan into his mouth as you feel the wetness grow between your legs. You hate how a college student, has you this hot and soaking wet.
You’re busy devouring each other’s lips but you don’t fail to recognize the tent forming and touching your centre.
Jungkook’s hands rummage over your back and over your hips and to your ass, he sqeezes your ass lightly which causes you to jumb lightly.
‘’you okay’’ he asks
‘’yeah just never had anyone squeeze my ass like that’’
That boy-ish smile of his is far gone, now a manly sexy grin paints his face. A grin like a wolf looking at a lamb as it’s next meal.
‘’you’ve never had someone touch you like that’’
You shake your head. You hate how jungkook makes you feel like a highschooler losing their virginity.
‘’who have you been fucking that doesn’t want to touch this ass’’ he squeezes your ass again, and you’re embarrassed when you release a moan at that action.
‘’i don’t know’’ your words come out more whiny than you’d like.
He moves to your neck and you move it to accustom him into the space. He places some wet and gentle kisses.
‘’i’m not like them though. I wanna touch every part of you. Wanna taste every part of you and feel you on me.’’ He kisses your neck again and the smacking sound of his lips meeting your skin causes you clench. ‘’i wanna treat you right, i wanna make you feel good’’
You don’t know how true his words are or if you can even take them seriously. Maybe it’s the lust talking. He’s a young man, he wouldn’t want to waste his days with you.
‘’don’t you have other, younger girls. You wanna make feel good.’’ You just had to ask.
The chuckles he releases causes a rush of blood to your groin.
‘’all i think about when i fuck them is you’’ he kisses you again.
You don’t want to believe him but your heart can’t help but flutter. You don’t want to get hurt again but something tells you jungkook is far from hurting you. But you can’t trust that feeling, what if that feeling is just how good it feels to be on him.
He has a great way with words and it would work on you every time, cause you haven’t grown out the naivety of your youth for some reason.
Jungkook knows when and how to say the right words which makes you scared. Which makes him dangerous. All these young boys are to slick with their words.
‘’yn, don’t think’’ he whispers against your lips. He must have noticed your distance all of a sudden.
‘’don’t think of anything but this’’ he pecks your lips.
‘’i’ll try’’ you coo.
‘’i’ll make you’’
his lips are back on yours desperately. And the sound of your lips smacking and you whimpers fills the room again.
His lips go back to licking and sucking that one spot on your neck. His mouth on your neck and hands on your hips helping you grind against his clothed crotch makes you gasp for air.
You’ve never had anyone take their time with you like this, they’re usually quick to just get it in. But not jungkook, he takes his time enjoying and tasting every part of you. Why wouldn’t he when he’s been thinking about this moment and taking cold showers to stop his natural desire for you.
Being with jungkook tells you how much you’ve been missing and how much you need to learn. It’s like going back to your college days.
‘’fuck jungkook’’ you moan when he nibbles at your neck. Your hands move from his chest to his neck then to his long hair.
You unintentionally pull at his hair and you love how he groans when you do so.
The need and ache between your legs grows strong as you grind harder on his lap. Jungkook watches how you move against him trying to find your high. He promises to give it to you but he needs to feel more of you before he does so.
You gasp when he plops you on your back onto his soft couch.
‘’jungkook...’’ you call out and he stops his action to attend to your need.
‘’yes’’ he sounds so submissive as he says so.
‘’i want you’’ your hips move up to feel some friction. He chuckles at the action.
‘’i want you too’’ he smiles as he pecks you on your forehead.
‘’no. Like i want you. Actually i fucking need you’’ you whine out. You’re probably gonna be so embarrassed later but right now you need him.
Your hand reaches for his belt but his hands stop you. You feel embarrassed and confused, you know he’s hard. You can see his fully grown bulge. But why does he want to take so much time.
‘’i wanna taste you first’’ he whispers by your ear.
Fuck. You’ve never had anyone want to eat you out. It’s been a while since anyone went down on you.
‘’jungkoo-‘’ you want to protest.
‘’please yn’’ he begs. ‘’i need it’’ his lips are against yours as he says in a whisper. His lips are on yours for a second before he leaves you wanting to taste his lips more.
You watch his body move down and you can feel your wetness drip down.
‘’fuck...’’ you hear him groan and grow a little self conscious.
‘’what?’’ you lift yourself up a bit.
‘’it’s just that you’re so fucking gorgeous’’ you can’t help but blush and feel a little weird. You’ve never had anyone ogle at you pussy like that.
‘’jungkook..’’ you call out in a whine. You can feel his breath breeze over you centre and it makes the need grow stronger.
‘’i’m sorry, im staring’’ he says and before you can tell him anything his lips are on you, hungrily.
You release a sharp moan as his lips make out with yours.
He licks a long strip of you pouring juices, your taste sinking into his tastebuds.
‘’so fucking good,’’ he groans. ‘’and so fucking wet’’ you feel his finger run through your folds.
‘’jungkook please. Fuck...’’ you don’t even know what you’re pleading for but you are.
Jungkook adheres to you unspoken cries, as he dives back into kissing you and massaging your clit.
Your hand finds it’s way to his hair and pulls. The groan he releases sends electricity through you.
You’ve never felt like this, nobody has ever put this much effort into touching you.
And jungkook has never put this much effort into eating pussy, but for you he will and he is.
He adds his fingers into you as he pumps into you.
‘’fuck you need to be fucked right’’ he says at your tightness. You can barely hear what he’s saying over at how hard he’s slurping.
With the way his digits work into you and his tongue sucks on your clit, you can feel that feeling you’ve been chasing.
‘’fuck jungkook, im going to-‘’ jungkook smiles at how you can barely finish your sentence but he knows.
The feeling grows closer and your heart races in excitement.
But then all of the sudden the feeling is gone and you’re about to curse out jungkook who’s now moving up.
‘’what the fuck, i was going to-‘’ you whine angrily.
‘’i want you to come over my cock’’
You don’t argue, he’s the one in control after all.
‘’ then please fuck me’’ all you can do is plead. It’s so embarrassing pleading for him to fuck you. You wonder if girls his age are this desperate too.
‘’yes ma’am’’ he says as he takes off his shirt, for some reason him calling you ma’am makes you more aroused.
‘’don’t call me ma’am’’ you say blushing but jungkook knows, you’re bullshitting.
‘’yes ma’am’’ he says with a cheeky grin knowing that it makes you clench around nothing.
You watch him unbuckle his belt and you’ve never seen anything this attractive.
As you watch him you anticipate how his going to feel and how you’ll wrap around him. That’s all jungkook can think about too as he strokes himself slightly, though he’s been hard since he saw you in the grocery store.
You feel his tip slide through your wet folds and you can’t help but suck in a breath. Jungkook can’t help but whimper at how wet and good you feel already.
You clench desperate to feel something inside you. You wonder if it will hurt, it’s been a while for you anyways. And he looks like he could stretch you out good. But you’re too needy to worry about that.
You gasp when you feel him move into you, slow and teasingly. His tip has you wondering if you’ll be able to take all of him.
‘’fuck you’re so good for me’’ he says as he moves in deeper. ‘’i wish i could feel you everyday’’
You can.
You want to say, but don’t wanna make promises. You don’t know if this will ever happen again.
‘’do you wanna be good for me like this everyday, yn’’ he says kissing along your jaw as he settles into you.
He doesn’t move waiting for your answer.
You hum but it’s not enough for him.
‘’yes, i want you everyday’’ you end up speaking more of your mind than you planned to.
Jungkook smiles as he slowly begins to move in and out.
‘’good. You can have me everyday’’
With the ways he rocks into you, slowly increasing speed, you understand the moans of those girls you heard him fucking.
His name falls from your mouth as he continues. Jungkook has never enjoyed being buried in heat like this. And he’s never wanted to stay in forever like he does right now.
‘’jungkook..’’ with the way your nails dig into his arm and you flutter around he knows you’re close.
But so is he. Your high is his target as he continues to stroke.
Jungkook twitches inside of you as you both reach your highs.
He lays on top of you as you breath heavily. He tries to keep his weight from crushing you.
‘’next time i wanna be on top’’ you say with the energy you’ve got left.
‘’deal. Even though i like being on top, i’ll let you ride me’’ you almost feel that feeling comeback.
You stroke his hair as you watch that boy-ish smile return on his face.
It’s like he’s changed and wasn’t the person balls deep into you seconds ago.
‘’i like this’’ you say comfortable.
‘’i like you’’ Jungkook coos into your neck.
--
244 notes · View notes
livwritesstuff · 20 hours
Text
Steve comes home from a few hours of running errands with his and Eddie’s one-year-old daughter Moe to find Eddie pitching an absolute fit to his beleaguered book agent Paul over the phone.
Given how Eddie’s third book is about three months away from its release date, Steve has a pretty decent idea what the fit might be over.
The dreaded book tour.
Look – Steve doesn’t like it either. He didn’t like it back in ‘95 when Eddie’s first book came out. He didn’t like it in ‘99 with the second one either. He definitely won’t like it this time around, especially now with Moe in the picture. He actually likes having his partner around, believe it or not (and, if he’s honest, there’s still some baggage surrounding work-related travel and his parents’ relationship that he’s still trying to shake).
Still, he knows it’s a necessary evil of Eddie’s success and they’ll all survive it.
That’s Steve’s perspective anyways, even if Eddie doesn’t share it with him.
Eddie looks over as Steve drops a few bags of groceries onto the kitchen counter.
“Hang on, Paul – Steve just got back from absconding with my daughter,” Eddie says, and then he pulls the phone away from his ear, “Don’t put her down for a nap yet.”
Steve only shakes his head.
“Sorry, Paul,” he says, not raising his voice quite enough for Paul to actually hear him (Eddie hears him though, and that’s what matters) as he continues on his way up the stairs to get Moe ready for her nap (he’ll drag out the process as long as he can for Eddie’s sake – he’s not a total monster).
In the end, Eddie’s phone call ends no more than five minutes later.
“So what’s the damage?” Steve asks when Eddie makes his way into Moe’s room.
“Five weeks,” Eddie grumbles as he pulls Moe out of Steve’s arms. He presses a kiss to her chubby cheek and then adds, “Stops goddamn nation-wide.”
“Maybe stop writing so good and you wouldn’t have this issue,” Steve points out.
“Shut up – I’m not gonna do it. Paul can drop me, see if I care.”
“You’d care.”
Eddie’s shoulders slump.
“Yeah, I’d care,” he mutters, and then he shakes his head, “It’s entirely unfair that he’d expect me to leave home for over a month when he knows I have a little baby at home. I’m not doing it. She’ll be a whole teenager when I come back, Stevie.”
Steve looks at him, “It’s five weeks, love. She’ll probably still be the same shoe size.”
“I’ll miss our anniversary.”
“No, you won’t. It’s not ‘til the month after.”
“Okay, who’s side are you on here?”
“Paul’s, obviously.”
Eddie’s jaw drops as he feigns an affronted expression.
“I cannot believe that my beloved, my betrothed–”
“Betrothed?”
“–would side with my traitorous agent over–” 
“Ed, Paul was pretty forgiving when you slowed down writing for six months for the foster training stuff,” Steve points out (and it’s a point that actually manages to stop Eddie’s tirade – an impressive feat, he’s well aware), “And then he was really forgiving when you stopped completely for almost a year when Moe was born. Wasn’t this book supposed to come out, like, over a year ago? I feel like the least you can do is put up with a book tour given everything you’ve put him through.”
Eddie only blinks at him a moment – clearly trying to fathom any kind of counter-argument and coming up empty.
“Damn you,” he mutters.
“Can’t believe you used to be the guy who wanted to be a rockstar and go on year-long world tours,” Steve laughs, “Now you can’t even handle a month of the continental United States.”
“Watch your mouth, Harrington. Hey – maybe you and Moe can come and be the world’s cutest groupies.”
“We’ll see.”
183 notes · View notes
flamingpudding · 2 days
Note
I'm so sorry I didn't get to finish but as Dan's Teekl is a Phoenix snake and he takes after Vlad since of dressing
When something big is going on the magical world and they need King Phantom's help he decides to bring along his children this is how the Justice League finds out just like Robin is a past dumb title so is Klarion all the Justice League deal with a bunch of hyper up chaotic children who have been antiheroes let's find out
I wanted this to be just like a we are robbing thing except with Clarion all of them showing off the fact that Teekl have never been a cat would be so funny to me
Anywho I haven't been able to come up with anymore ideas for Dan is Klarion but I did come out with this one hope you find it funny sorry that I messed up on the first part of the writing
Okay... so version one got deleted, per my rant post notices... so here is version two hopes to that it will still be as good... also... i didn't remember how I ended this the first time soooooo yea... sorry again for having messed up in between...
[Link to the first part of the Ask here!]
I hope this will still be as enjoyable....
------------------
Vlad didn't regret a lot of things but he regretted having told Bruce Wayne that he had a way of summoning the Ghost King. Why you ask? Because Bruce Wayne apparently leaked that information to the Justice League.
Well originally Vlad had told Bruce only about this because he was after the deal he had wanted for years with Wayne Enterprise. That man had been able to avoid Vlad for years now, and during his years when he hadn't been a redeemed man it had infuriated him.
But he was a redeemed man now. He had reformed his entire Company and since Wayne Enterprise was contracted with the Justice League, he had felt it was appropriate to boost that his Company had valuable connections too.
He also just wanted to rub it into Brucie Waynes face that he wasn't the only one with big name Hero / other worldly connections department. Okay it might have been a bit of an ego thing left. But he was a redeemed man.
And because he was a redeemed man he had not used his ghost powers to throw Batman out of the window the hero had used to barge into his hotel room at 3 -goddamn- AM only to demand the method on how to summon the ghost king.
No sir, Vlad was a redeemed man, he was nice now, a good guy.
He only grumbled and demanded the reason, which apparently was a demonic thread to the magical world that indirectly could wipe out the entire world itself. Great, little badger will not be amused hearing about that.
Daniel would be cross with him for using the summoning stone in the middle of the night but Batman was giving him a valid reason to use it. Surely Daniel would understand right? Plus Vlad could use that as change to see the little badger again. It had been a while since he last saw him.
Well Vlad regretted agreeing with Batman with the condition that he would be the one to do the summoning. That man in a bat suit did not hesitate to drag Vlad with him then bringing him, blindfolded mind you, to a place where he then was faced with several heroes, including but not limited to the Justice league.
Just great.
At least Vlad got to inform Danial about the situation and the reason for his summon as Ghost King via summoning stone, even if that blond British man had scoffed when he saw Vlad pulling it out, about the situation and what the little badger could expect the moment he stepped out of a portal.
What Vlad did not expect were several RED portals opening and similarly dressed young adults as well as one teen stepping out of them.
"Sup old man! Mom told us you called him about some world ending problem!" Dan greeted him in his Klarion get up, perfectly styled hair and his ghost pet, a phoenix snake, Snape (yes Dan named his pet after a mage from a wizard movie series) on his shoulders. Vlad could feel the distinctive illusion magic around the pet and he was pretty sure everyone without ghost powers were not able to see through it.
"KLARION?!" One of the present heroes yelled.
And of course all of the kids had to answer in reflect turning to where the voice came from at the same time.
"Yea"
There was a brief moment of silence in which Vlad face palmed.
"Ah sorry, that was on reflex. Old habits die hard!" Ellie laughed, she had grown into a young woman and was currently wearing what looked like a black suit crossed with a 90s style witch dress.
"I am the current Klarion, lose that fucking habit already." Dan grumbled annoyed as he crossed his arms glaring at every sibling that had answered to his alias.
"I am telling mom you cussed." Ellie instead grinned instead, before she looked around for a moment before her eyes landed on Nightwing, her face instantly lighting up. "ROBIN! I mean Nightwing! I haven't seen you in ages!"
"Do I know you?" Vlad could feel sorry for the hero, but these where the phantom kids, so he wasn't in the slightest and he was still cross with he heroes for waking him up at 3AM!
"I am hurt! Don't you recognise me!" Ellie gasped and Dan unashamedly elbowed her for acting so familiar.
"Misrule." He warned her. Ellies current Anti-Hero -Chaos Agent- Alias Vlad remembered. A name she specifically chose because it sounded like Miss Rule and she knew that the word play would annoy Nabu. That girl had some serious beef with the Ancient of Order.
"Oh shush little brother! Let me reconnect with the kids I used to mess with!" She shushed Dan ruffling his hair and nearly messing up his horned hairstyle, before turning back to Nightwing. "Don't you remember my lovely Armadillos? Though I only know you were the Robin I first meet because I looked into Grandpa Clock's time mirrors..."
There was a brief moment of silence on the other side where the heroes stood and Vlad swore he could have heard a pin needle drop.
"Oh god..." One of them finally spoke up as apparently some kind of realisation sunk into the heroes. But before Ellie could add anything more the one Vlad recognised as Red Robin cut in.
"Klarion is like Robin!"
"RR what are you...?"
"The title of Klarion got passed down like Robin!"
There was another brief moment of silence before Dan, Ellie and the rest of their siblings burst out laughing.
"It took you idiots this long to see that?!" Dan called them out, laughing as he hugged Snape.
Vlad would probably feel sorry for the entirety of the heroes before him if he wasn't amused by this himself, even he had seen the differences whenever 'Klarion' got passed on.
"For your information, I was the first Klarion, so i could mess with Nabu." Ellie grinned. "I was also the one that used a bit to much eyeliner."
"I never got the the horned hairstyle right."
"I was the one with a fancy black suit."
One by one the phantom kids listed of all the differences in their versions of Klarion until they all looked towards the youngest Dan, the current Klarion.
"What?" He grumbled as his elder siblings grinned at him.
"Fucking fine. I use a suit similar to the old man's style and I like to do more than just mess with Nabitch." He muttered after enduring his siblings stares for.
"And you cuss." Ellie grinned brightly causing the rest of the siblings to to chuckle.
Vlad recognised the look in Dan's eyes and before the kids could break out into an argument or a brawl, depending how violent Dan was feeling, he coughed loudly to get noticed by everyone.
"World threatening situation." He reminded everyone. "Where is your mother? The Ghost King?"
"Oh Mom is already dealing with the situation." Dan shrugged. "We more or less came to watch and see the heroes suck and fail at 'Order' to rub it into Nabitch's face."
Vlad really wanted to scowl the kids and he was going to but then the heroes cut in again.
"Can we get back to the thing about Klarion being a title passed down like Robin? With how many different Klarions did we have to deal with over the years!?"
"Red Robin not the right time..."
"Yes the right time! So many comments from Klarion make sense now! Like the first time he went right up into my face!"
"Red Robin!"
"Oh that was still me! The first Klarion!"
267 notes · View notes
tooearlyforthis · 2 days
Text
Help Me Help You
Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader
Synopsis: (12.6k wc) Steve can't always admit when he needs help - which is why Robin is there to tell him. Weeks of therapy and he feels like he's gotten nowhere. So what happens when his therapist recommends a group session? What if he recognizes someone there?
Warnings: fluff, angst, mental health - anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mentions of loss, therapy, SA
Click here to see my Masterlist | click here for my Steve Harrington taglist
This is a little different than what I usually post but I started writing this when I wasn't in the best place and I found it helped a lot. A lot of this stuff I've been through but if there is any feedback you guys have to portray the things discussed better please reach out!
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“And how has that shaped you?”
The words echoed in Steve’s ears. He had heard it, comprehended the question; but his mind drifted far away. The grey carpet floor beneath him held no value, but he couldn’t look away. Why did he think therapy was a good idea?
Dr. Ackerman shifted in her seat, her pencil tapping against a notebook in her lap. “Steve,” she said sternly. He only mumbled a response, picking his head up. “How did not getting into college shape you?”
It sounded more like an interview question than anything else. Something a mid-level employee would ask him as he sat in the front of the store, nerves taking over his whole body. 
He propped his foot up on one knee, trying to think of an answer quickly. “Uh more resilience, I guess?”
Nodding, Dr. Ackerman wrote on her notepad. “Care to elaborate?”
“I don’t know, that kind of life wasn’t meant for me. It made me move on to better things.” He tried not to tap his fingers against his thigh - a nervous tick he had developed over the years.
“And why do you think that life, going to college, wasn’t for you?”
He tried to think of a way to justify his answer. Telling the truth wasn’t an option, despite it being the reason he sought out counseling. 
She leaned forward, letting her hands drift over her knees. “This won’t work if you’re not open, Steve.”
Shit how did she know?
Leaning back Dr. Ackerman continued, “I want you to come this weekend to sit in on a group session with my other patients. See how talking about what’s wrong may help you.”
“I don’t know –“ he began, already hesitant on her suggestion.
Putting up a hand, she silenced him. “No fighting. You need to commit, Stephen.”
The mention of his full name stung, a friendly reminder that she was older, wiser – a person who knew what was best for him.
“Trust me. This will help.”
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Something smelled good. Way too good. 
It floated through his house, filling every crevice despite the absence of bodies. It made him feel safe, an unfamiliar sensation to him from the last few years. Following the smell, he walked into the kitchen. Robin was standing over the stove, a paper towel gripped over her arm.
“What did you do?” He asked, announcing his presence. 
He wasn’t surprised to see her. More and more the past few weeks she had been spending time at his house, even taking up a semi permanent room upstairs. 
She turned around, her face softening from a scowl. “Just burned my arm with oil. I think I put too much in the pan.” Steve chuckled. “How did it go?”
Shedding his jacket, he sat down at the counter. “It was fine. She wants me to do group therapy this weekend.” 
“Do you think it will help?”
He shrugged, not knowing his true answer. Out of all the people in their little party of monster fighters, Steve experienced some of the worst. From getting beat up more times that he could count, to getting tortured by Russians, he was in desperate need of help. 
But part of him still thought he didn’t when there were always others that would need him. His brain would spiral. To thoughts of the kids, hoping another gate hadn’t opened up; to Joyce and Hopper, wondering if someone would come back looking for them. But as the PTSD of his past caught up to him, it felt like the only viable option.
“What are you cooking?” he asked, diverting the conversation.
“Chicken,” Robin replied. “I mean, it’ll probably taste like shit. But it’s been a while since we had a proper meal, ya know?”
He nodded. “Yeah it has been…don’t worry though it actually smells really good. I think I’m going to take a nap before we eat if that’s okay? Just tired from this –”
“ – you don’t have to explain. I understand.”
He smiled at her – a genuine smile. Nowadays it felt like every emotion he felt was being forced, a sign to tell the others he was okay. But Robin had a way of bringing out his true self. She understood him in ways no one else in his life did. From the moment they went crashing down in that Russian elevator, they were linked at the hip - a single mind working cohesively.
Entering his bedroom, he felt immediate relief. It was a sense of safety, like a big blanket wrapping him in a warm hug. Sinking into the mattress he let sleep take him, hoping to not wake up from the horror of his dreams.
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The weekend came sooner than Steve would have liked. He didn’t feel ready to walk into group therapy, no matter how much he tried to prepare himself. The unknown scared him, even when it came to just talking about his feelings. 
Robin offered to drive him. He was reluctant at first since she had only had her license for a year. But the session was a couple of towns over and she knew how his mind would run if he was alone in his car.
Pulling up to the building, she let the car roll to a stop. The engine continued to rumble in Steve’s ears, his heart matching the irregular pattern. It was like he was riding up a roller coaster, the top never coming into sight. He shut his eyes, trying to wish the feeling away.
Robin placed a hand gently on his shoulder, grounding him back to reality. “Hey,” she began. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
Nodding, he unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed the water bottle he had brought. “Thanks for driving, Rob.”
“Of course. I’ll be here when you get out.”
With one last breath, he said to himself, “All right, let’s do this.”
He opened the car door, letting the cold air hit his face as he climbed out. It felt nice, like a wake-up call he so desperately needed. 
“You got this!” Robin exclaimed from the rolled-down window. 
He smiled, watching as she drove off before turning back to the big brick building in front of him. It was a different place from his usual sessions with Dr. Ackerman. But as he entered the building, he found it felt eerily similar. Was every therapist's office decorated the same? From the off-grey carpet to the leather sofa, it felt like a place he had been before. It helped calm his emotions just a smidge. 
“Can I help you, sweetie?” He turned to the lady behind the front counter.
“Uh, yeah I’m here for Dr. Ackerman’s group session?”
“Follow me,” she said with a warm smile.
The lady moved from her place behind the counter to open the door at the other end of the room. Closely, he followed her down the narrow hallway. His heart began to race, wondering how he could talk about his traumas without revealing the supernatural. It was hard to do with one person but a whole group? He might as well sew his mouth shut. 
“Here you are sweetie,” the lady said, swinging open a door. 
He barely had time to thank her before the door was shut behind him, leaving him alone in a room of strangers. Well, strangers plus one person he never thought he’d see again; Y/N L/N. She was sitting in a chair, arms crossed in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. It was very different from how he remembered her in high school. 
From the few classes they shared and the occasional hellos in the hallway, he knew she was a pretty friendly, put-together person. She was always kind to people, despite the unfriendly rumors about how many notches were on her bedpost. Last he heard, she was heading off to some Ivy League school after graduation. So what was she doing sitting in on this therapy group?
He wanted to talk to her, to reconnect even though they were never close to begin with. Her eyes were glued to the hem of her sweatshirt, pinching at it in boredom. Then she looked up, scanning the room before her eyes landed on him. Her breath hitched for a moment as Steve saw her realize who he was. 
Wanting to talk to her, he stepped forward. Before he could even make it an inch, Dr. Ackerman’s voice pulled him away. 
“Mr. Harrington,” she greeted him. “Glad to see you could join us. Please, take a seat.”
Giving a polite smile, he stole a glance at Y/N one more time. She was already looking down at the floor, back to pulling on the strings of her pullover. 
As the therapy season began and people began to speak, Steve found himself barely paying attention. He went into this session hoping to get the most out of it, to really take in and listen to what people had to say. But that was before he saw Y/N. Shy and still undeniably cute, Y/N. 
He wanted to hear her story, not the strangers they were surrounded by. He wanted to know why she was here, not in New Jersey, and what could have happened in her life that made her need therapy in the first place. Steve knew his past was fucked up but from an outsider’s perspective, it never seemed like hers was. 
Unlucky for him, she barely spoke the entire session. There was the occasional nod or spoken agreement, but she never elaborated on any subject brought up. The minute Dr. Ackerman announced their time was over, and before he could even talk to her, she was gone. Out the door and out of his life. 
Steve slumped back into his chair, feeling defeated. He didn’t know why he felt so down. She was never a close friend to him, even at the height of them interacting in school. He got up to leave, hoping to catch her outside when he heard Dr. Ackerman called his name. Begrudgingly, he turned around to face her.
“So, what did you think?” she asked.
“I uh, don’t really know,” he responded truthfully.
“Then I want you to come back next weekend. And try to talk more, okay? You get out of it what you put in.”
Nodding, he gave her a goodbye. He rushed out the door, hoping to catch Y/N before she left. But alas, he was too late. Everyone had gone for the day. The only person left was Robin, patiently waiting in the car next to the curb. 
“How’d it go?” She asked, as he stepped into the car. 
“Fine,” he replied, as he played with the hem of his shirt. “I uh… saw Y/N L/N. Remember her?”
“I think so. Pretty sure we had chem together. Wait, wasn’t she some big shot? Going off to Princeton or something?”
Steve shrugged. “I guess not anymore.”
Robin gave an inquisitive hum in lieu of a reply. He stared out the window as she drove, partly thinking of how much Robin’s driving had improved. But mostly, his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N and how he couldn’t wait to see her again. 
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Steve made sure to arrive extra early for the group session the following week. He walked into the office complex, moving his way through the halls to the familiar door with Dr. Ackerman’s plaque across the front. With one last deep breath, he went in. 
The receptionist recognized him, letting him go into the therapy room with no problem. “Dr. Ackerman isn’t here yet but make yourself comfortable,” she told him. 
“Thanks,” he replied softly, watching her close the door behind him. 
When he turned around again, he was greeted with semi-familiar faces staring back at him. He scanned the room; no Y/N in sight. Giving a weak smile, he sat down in the same seat from last week. 
He could tell the others' eyes were on him, trying to get a read on the newbie. There weren’t many people there but it sure felt like a lot. A boy, probably around his age, a slightly older woman dressed very professionally, and an older lady that he had to guess was a few years away from a retirement home. 
“Hey,” the younger boy said, causing Steve to look up. “I’m Matt.” Steve replied with only his name, not knowing what else to say. Matt motioned to the woman in her late 20s wearing almost a business suit. “That’s Sam, and grandma over there is Louise. She could drop dead any minute so be on the lookout.”
“Matt!” Sam exclaimed, hitting his arm. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s alright, sweetie,” Louise calmed her. “He can say anything he wants as long as he remembers that I know where he lives, and I own a gun.”
Steve’s eyes went wide, his shoulders stiffening. Did that old woman just threaten him? Matt bursted out laughing. It was clear the group was comfortable with that sort of joking around. He turned back to a very tense Steve. “What are you here for?”
“You don’t have to answer that.” Sam told him.. 
“It’s complicated,” Steve said honestly. “I-I’m not really sure how I would explain it anyways.”
“Oooh,” Matt cooed. “Are you in a love triangle?”
“No I –”
“Family abandon you?”
“Well –”
“Oh I got it!” He interrupted again, sitting up straighter in his chair. “You got bit by a rabies infected bat and turned into a vampire.”
Steve tensed. How did he– it was obviously a joke. Not anything to take seriously so Steve decided to play along. “Actually, you’re not that far off.”
Matt chuckled, looking over at Sam who let out a small laugh as well. “I like you. You’re gonna fit in just fine.”
“Okay…” Steve said hesitantly, not knowing quite what he meant. 
The door softly clicked open, everyone turning to look who it was. Steve sucked in a breath when he realized it was Y/N. She was wearing something similar to last week, a pair of jeans and a sweater two sizes too big. The room was small enough that as she scanned the environment, her eyes locked with his.
Steve heard the others greeting her as she stepped further into the room, but his gaze was still fixed on her. Quickly, Y/N looked down, her hair falling gently over her face. He couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Maybe she realized that they would be seeing more of each other; maybe she didn’t want to see him at all. He watched as she walked to an open seat, setting her bag down at her feet.
Steve wanted to speak, to say something to Y/N even though he didn’t know what. Cursed again, Dr. Ackerman bursted into the room. “Sorry I’m late,” she announced. “Let’s get started.”
Even though his mind was filled with thoughts of Y/N, he did manage to listen in more to the problems of his fellow group members. Matt was from a couple towns over attending the state college. His anxiety got the best of him and he had a falling out with his best friend. Sam was an elementary school teacher who suffered from PTSD from her younger years traveling as a military brat. And Louise was grieving the loss of her son - a car accident from a few months prior. He listened in more, taking in the symptoms and coping mechanisms they used. Some of the things they said sounded familiar, things that he could learn from his own terrifying experiences.
Once Louise, recounted her past week, how it felt in the wake of her son’s death, Dr. Ackerman turned to him. 
“Steve,” she said suddenly, taking him off guard from sneaking a look at Y/N. “You've experienced some loss in your life as well?” He nodded, not knowing where this was going. “Would you like to share a recent experience you had? Maybe the group has some coping skills to help you. 
Suddenly all the eyes were on him. He felt violated, talking in front of people he barely knew for two days. But in the words of Dr. Ackerman, it wasn’t going to help if he didn’t contribute. 
He began to speak, choosing his words very carefully. “Um yeah I guess I’ve been surrounded by loss, more so in the past couple of years.”
 He felt Y/N look up at him, sympathy in her stare. It gave him the courage to continue. 
“First it was my ex’s best friend. I didn’t know her well but she was last seen at my house so, I guess I blame myself for that? My friend, his mom’s boyfriend passed away, as well as another friend’s older brother…but more recently, a-a new friend. We had only just met… he uh, played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons.”
He looked over at Y/N again who was still staring at him, her sympathy replaced with something else - something he couldn’t quiet. Fright? No, recognition.
“I think of him sometimes– the new friend,” Steve clarified, glancing down at his fingers tapping against his thigh. “We only knew each other for a short while but he was a good dude…I see stuff around town sometimes that reminds me of him and I feel like I’m back- “ 
In the Upside Down.
“In a dark place,” he opted to say instead. 
When he looked up at the group, he felt relieved. They all looked at him with a sense of understanding, like they knew what he was going through. Hell, after what he heard today they probably were.
“I see,” Dr. Ackerman began. “So group, what can Steve do?”
“Well, I find the 54321 method helpful,” Sam said. 
Matt pointed at her. “I was about to say the same thing.”
“The 54321 method?” Steve asked, hoping they would explain further. 
“Y/N,” Dr. Ackerman said. She looked up at her. “Would you mind explaining to Steve what this coping skill is?”
Steve looked over at her hesitantly. “Uh sure,” she said, sitting up straighter. She was trying to look at him but her eyes fell back to her lap. “You count five things you can see around you, four things you can feel… uh three things you can hear. Two you can smell and one you can taste.”
“Very good Y/N.”
She looked up at him one last time, her gaze holding longer than usual and Steve felt like she could take his breath away. 
“And have you been using those methods yourself?” Dr. Ackerman asked. 
She tore her gaze away from Steve, looking back at their therapist. “I-I’ve been trying.”
“Well that’s a step forward right? Effort is all I can ask for. Now Steve,” she directed her attention back to her. “Those were great examples, but not the one I was looking for.”
“It wasn’t?” 
“What about your parents?”
He shook his head. “My parents aren’t dead.”
“But are they around often?” Steve froze. She knew they weren’t. Where was she going with this? Shaking his head, she continued. “Couldn’t that count as a form of loss? The loss of parental figures?”
He remained silent. Could it?
“Loss is not just death, Steve. It can take on many forms.”
Shit, he hadn’t thought of it that way. How much in his life had he truly lost? His parents, his friends, his reputation… Before he could even begin to process what that meant, Dr. Ackerman moved on to Matt who talked about his recent split from his best friend. But Steve was still in his own mind. His own thoughts drowning out the voices of the people around him. 
Maybe he needed therapy more than he cared to admit.
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Before Steve knew it, the session was over and he was making his way out of the room, the thought of loss still very much present in his mind. He didn’t realize how much therapy would actually help him. Though mental health was something more and more people were beginning to talk about, it still had a lot of negative stereotypes. One wrong step and you could end up in a psychiatric ward without really needing it.
Trying to give his brain a break, Steve shifted his focus to Y/N and how he desperately wanted to try and talk to her. But yet again, Dr. Ackerman stopped him. “So, how are you liking the group?”
“A lot better than last week,” he replied, watching a small smile form on her face.
“Good. That’s really good, Steve.”
“Can I…keep coming to this group? On top of our sessions?”
She nodded. “That was the plan all along. See you later this week.”
“See you, Dr. Ackerman.”
Despite the heavy topic of the session, the moment Steve stepped outside, it was like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. The air felt nice, so crisp on his skin it was like a fresh glass of water. He was reluctant to admit that Dr. Ackerman was right, but the lady knew her stuff.
Looking around, he noticed Robin hadn’t arrived yet. Everybody else was gone, or so he thought.
“I didn’t know that about your parents.”
Steve turned around to find Y/N leaning against a wall, a cigarette between her fingers. There was no need for introductions, they both had remembered each other – it was just a matter of who would speak first.
“Uh, yeah,” Steve began to respond, shoving his hands in his pockets. He spent so long building up the moment they would speak again that when the time came, he felt frozen. Like a deep in headlights. Making his way over to her, he continued, “Most people don’t.”
She nodded, taking a puff of the cigarette. As she breathed out, a cloud of smoke followed, slowly floating above them. Steve tried not to wince at the smell. “Want one?” she offered.
“No thanks, I quit last year.”
Her eyebrows raised, surprised. Slowly she shrugged. “That makes one of us.”
Not knowing what to do, Steve looked around, trying his best to find something for them to talk about besides the obvious. Unfortunately, he came up with nothing. “I thought you went off to college.”
“I did,” she said before mumbling, “Until Gary entered the picture.”
“Who’s Gary?”
Not responding, she puffed out more smoke. It was clearly a touchy subject and Steve knew all too well about those. 
“I-I’m happy you’re here though.”
She scoffed. “Really?”
He nodded. “I wished we stayed in touch when school was over.”
“Hate to break it to you, Harrington, but I didn’t consider us friends.”
“I mean, me neither. But I remember you being one of the few people that called me on my bullshit – could see through my lies…I need more people like that in my life.”
She stared at him, her cigarette still loosely hanging between fingers. He didn’t know what she was thinking, what she was searching for in his comment. Maybe the truth? To see if he was lying? Before either of them could say anymore a honk echoed across the parking lot. Steve turned to see Robin pulling up to the curb. She rolled down the window as she parked. 
“That’s my ride,” Steve said, slowly backing away. “You remember Buckley? Another Hawkins High survivor.”
“Yeah, hey,” Y/N said, giving a small wave.
Robin waved back and said, “Oh hey, yeah we had chem together right?” Y/N nodded. 
“I’ll uh, see you next week?” Steve said, turning back to her one more time.
“Uh, yeah. Yes.” She took another puff. “See you next week.”
With one last wave, he climbed into the car, watching Y/N become a speck in the side-view mirror as they drove away.
“So,” Robin began, “You finally talked to her?”
“More like she talked to me but, yeah,” he responded.
“She’s different from what I remember. Tougher, less open to people. I didn’t know you were close.”
“We weren’t.”
Watching as his house turned into view, all he could think about was seeing her the following week.
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“Why are we going to the other side of town again? Why can’t we just go to the burger place down the street?” Dustin asked, leaning forward from the backseat of Steve’s car. 
“It’ll be fun!” Robin said, arching her head to look back at him. 
“What’s the place called again?” Lucas asked. 
“Gordy’s,” Mike responded. “Stupid if you ask me.”
Usually in these types of scenarios, Steve would be the one to call them on their bullshit. To be the babysitter that steps up to make things right. However, because of more recent events, instead of stepping up, he was slipping away.
Robin noticed almost instantly, jumping in to control the situation when her friend couldn’t. 
“Hey!” She shouted, cutting off the chatter from the back. “Yes, the diner is called Gordy’s. Yes it’s on the other side of town. And we are going because Max likes it and she used to go with her family. Right Max?”
“Y-yeah,” Max spoke up from the back. “It’s pretty good, I think you guys would like it.”
“I’m excited,” El said, getting an agreement from Will. 
Little chatter soon broke into more chaos, the kids talking over each other without a care in the world. Steve wanted to say something, his grip on the steering wheel tightening in an effort to stop feeling the anxiety running through his chest. But still, it was too much. He needed to focus on the road. 
“See? El’s excited,” Robin chimed in again. “Quit your yapping, we're almost there.”
Almost on cue, they turned into the Gordy's parking lot. Steve took a deep breath as the chatter in the back started to die down. He could almost hear his thoughts again, though he didn’t know if that would be a good thing. 
As the kids began to pile out of the car, he felt Robin’s hand on his shoulder. 
“Hey,” she said. “Deep breaths, remember? If it gets too bad, do that thing you learned okay? The 123 method.”
“54321 method,” he corrected. 
“Yeah, the 54321 method.” She watched as he nodded, taking another deep breath. “Hey,” she willed him to look at her. “You’re doing great. You ready to go in or do you need a minute?”
“No, I’m good…” It wasn’t until they were standing right outside the doors, the kids already packed into a booth that he spoke again. “Sorry about that, I can’t control it sometimes-”
“You never have to explain yourself,” she interrupted him, grabbing one of his hands. “Never.”
Steve felt this warm haze travel through him, his chest expanding with what felt like a clean breath of air. Sometimes hearing that there was someone there for him was enough to keep him going. Squeezing her hand back, he motioned that he was ready.
It was easy to navigate to where the kids had decided to sit – noise only coming from one side of the diner. Of course, they were arguing. It was about some movie that had just come out though both of the older teens couldn’t quite place which one. 
“Zip it!” Steve shouted over them, standing at the edge of the diner booth. They all abruptly stopped to look at him. It was the first real words he had muttered all night. “Pick what you want to eat. We’re not spending an hour deciding like last time.”
Dustin smiled at his words. Sure, they were kinda mean, but when Steve got bitchy that meant he was alert. 
Sliding into the booth across from Robin, Steve picked up a menu. The options were like any other establishment, and the kids were quick to decide what they wanted. When it came down to it, their orders didn’t really change much from diner to diner. It was the talking that made their visits longer. But Steve liked to mix it up from time to time, especially when eating with Robin - they often split meals. 
So when the waiter came over to take their orders, he was happy they didn’t have to send the guy away. With El eager to get her waffles, she went first, Mike going straight after her. Steve guessed that meant he would be last. He took the moment he had to look around the diner Max had selected. 
It was nice, much nicer than the other places they had tried but that wasn’t saying much. Midwest towns with small populations meant slow repairs. The floors looked a little wet but that was probably from the amount of people walking through with the recent storm. The coffee machine was out of order and by the looks of it, it had been that way for at least a month.
Besides that, not much was out of place. There was an elderly couple sitting at the counter top across the place. Slowly they traced their fingers along a spread out newspaper Steve had to guess was an attempt at the crossword puzzle. But his eyes slowly drifted away from the puzzle and onto the waitress putting down their food. 
It was Y/N. Blue apron, hair pulled back to not obscure her face. 
His breath hitched when he saw her. It was so unexpected, seeing her in a place like this. She looked so calm, almost happy. He hadn’t seen her like that since their senior year. It made him wonder what had gone so wrong, what this “Gary” did to make her dropout of college. And even though he wouldn’t find that answer tonight, he couldn’t stop himself from staring at her.
As she smiled at her customers, her eyes scanned the diner.  Looking for more people to help, her eyes landed on him. There was some shock, the unexpectedness of seeing him, but she forced a smile on her face. 
“Steve!” 
He was pulled out of his daze by Robin, motioning to the waiter standing before them.
“W-what would you like to drink?” the waiter asked again, though Steve swore he never heard him the first time.
“Uh, just water, thanks,” he said sheepishly, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment.
The waiter, however, just nodded, walking over to where Y/N stood. Steve let his eyes follow him, watching the coworkers engage in conversation before Robin spoke again.
“That’s her, right?” she whispered, not wanting the kids to hear. He nodded. “You should go talk to her.”
He whipped his head around to look at her. “What? No.”
“Why not?”
Because my anxiety will make me fuck up my sentences.
“Because she’s working,” he said instead. “I don’t wanna interrupt her.”
“Please, it’s so dead in here she would probably thank you.”
“Who are you talking about?” said Dustin, trying to worm his way into the conversation.
“No one,” Steve said quickly. “Do your maze.”
He looked down at the kids menu in front of him. “I’m not a child!” he exclaimed.
“Maybe, but you love those mazes.”
He took one look at Steve before back down at his menu. Sighing in defeat he said, “Okay yeah I do…”
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It was a new record. Almost an entire day without a panic attack. The food had arrived, the kids eating like it was their last meal on earth. Meanwhile Robin took the time to neatly split her and Steve’s food in half, handing him one of the plates.
He smiled at her before diving in. Well, more like inching in. He didn’t feel too hungry, despite not eating at all that day. That was the main reason for this little outing - to get him to eat food. But as the night went on and his food was still barely touched, he knew that something deeper was happening. 
Ever since he started therapy, he had been getting better at spotting anxiety and panic attacks, even preventing a few which he was proud of. But some would start for no reason, even if he was feeling better than he had all day. Something began to rise in his chest and he knew one was coming. Apparently, Robin did too.
Over the noise of the kids debating over some new comic book, Robin asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Steve dismissed out of instinct. “Just gonna go to the bathroom.”
He quickly stood up, not waiting for a response. The bathroom was unlocked thankfully and looked a little disgusting. Still, he had been in worst places. Staring at the faucet he cupped his hands, splashing water on his face.
Sometimes that helped, giving his body a wake up call it didn’t know it needed. But unfortunately, it wasn't working. He felt his breaths become shorter, more labored. His heart felt like someone was squeezing it in their hands. 
He needed fresh air. Yeah, fresh air would help.
Exiting the bathroom, he was thankful to see there was a back door just a few feet away. Pushing through he was met with the cold crisp air of the back of the diner. There was some air conditioner blowing so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts. 
Picking what looked to be a clean wall, he sat down, trying to take deep breaths. His hands still shook, not slowing down despite his efforts. Nothing was working and he didn’t know why. What had even caused this panic attack? There was nothing he was scared or really anxious about to warrant this level of panic. 
He tried to remember what Dr. Ackerman told him in one of their private sessions. Sometimes panic attacks don’t need a reason for happening. 
“Harrington?”
He willed himself to look up at who was calling his name. It was Y/N, a cigarette in her hand. Perfect, just great. This is exactly how he wanted her to see him.
“Oh, hey,” he tried to say casually, trying to mask his attack. They could both tell it wasn’t working.
“Are you doing okay?”
He could tell it was more of a rhetorical question and he was too tired to lie. “I- not really. I don’t know what happened I just-”
“Hey it’s okay,” she interrupted him, crouching down to be at eye level with him. “We all get them okay?”
He nodded though his heart still felt like it was beating out of his chest. “I-I can’t stop it.”
“Have you done the method yet?” He shook his head. “Okay,” she continued, throwing her cigarette to the side before fully sitting down in front of him cross legged. “Let’s go through it, yeah?”
“Aren’t you working?”
“I’m on my break. Don’t worry about that, let’s help you okay? Name five things you can see.”
“O-okay…” he said, taking a deep breath. “Um, my shoes, those plants ... .uh the-the ground. I can see the wall and- your eyes. Shit- sorry that was weird,” he said, curling back into the wall.
“No, don’t apologize,” she told him, reaching out her hand to cover his. “Describe them to me. What do my eyes look like?”
He looked up at her - there was no hint of mockery in her face. “Well, they're vibrant, they’re a couple of different shades…they're beautiful.”
She smiled at him, not disgusted or annoyed, but genuine happiness. She chuckled, dropping her head for a moment, thanks… Now, let’s continue…”
They listed more things, following the method. With each concentration, the hold on his heart loosened more and more. He couldn’t tell if the method was working or he just liked to be in her company. Whatever it was, it worked. 
As he listed off the taste of his meal, he felt like he could finally breathe. Sighing, he let his back hit the wall. 
“Thanks for that,” he said, closing his eyes. He could still feel the pads of her fingers gently rubbing his hand.
She responded, not letting go. “Of course, we have to look out for each other.” In the distance, someone called her name. “Shit, my break is over. You think you’ll be okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
Slowly she stood back up. “I uh, guess I’ll see you this weekend.” She gave a small wave, not waiting for a response as she scurried back inside for the remainder of her shift. 
As he watched her walk away, he felt the urge to call her back. Her presence, the way she calmed him down - it wasn’t something he wanted to let go of. Begrudgingly, he stood up, knowing that his friends would be wondering where he was soon. He walked through the same back door, passing the bathroom before finding his friends still in the diner booth.
Robin spotted him first as he made his way over - it seemed like the others barely even noticed his absence. “Are you okay? You look pale,” she asked. 
Usually he would lie, say he was fine and tough through his emotions. But as Dr. Ackerman and later Robin told him, he needed to be more honest with his well being.
“I don’t think so. Could we skip the ice cream run tonight?”
“Of course, yeah. Let’s get going, I already paid for the food.” She turned to the kids. “Alright, let’s get you guys home.”
“What about ice cream?” Dustin asked, followed by overlapping replies from the rest of the kids.
“Not tonight. Maybe next week.”
With solemn looks on their faces, the kids slowly climbed out of the diner booth, ready to pile back into the car. Steve watched as Robin unlocked the door, letting them all climb in. While doing so, he turned back, hoping to catch Y/N one more time.
She emerged from the back with two plates of food, locking eyes with him. She gave him a smile and he already felt a million times better. Nodding at her with a grin, she knew he meant it as a thank you.
Turning around, he made his way to the car, hoping that another attack wouldn’t happen when she wasn’t there.
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For the first time since starting therapy, Steve Harrington could say he was satisfied with his progress. He had another panic attack later that week and was able to not only realize the source of it, but calm himself down in record time. Well, record time for him, at least. 
Leaving Dr. Ackerman’s office, he waved goodbye to the other patients before making a b-line to the bathrooms. His bladder was not happy about the wait.  After relieving himself, he opened the door to leave. 
“Do you usually hang out with that many kids?”
“Gah!” Steve jumped, not knowing that Y/N was standing outside smoking a cigarette like she was usually seen. “Jeez, you scared me.”
He began to walk to the building exit, her joining at his side. “Sorry, but you gotta answer the question, Harrington. It’s been bugging me since I saw you.”
Pushing open the exit doors, he said, “Uh they’re my friends so, yeah I usually hang out with them.” 
“But children?”
“They aren’t random children, okay? But yeah, they're who I’m close with,” he shrugged. “Probably my only friends if I’m being honest.”
“Huh…” Y/N replied, taking a long drag of her cig. “That’s fucking weird, Harrington. Did you and your girlfriend adopt them or something?”
He cocked his head. “Girlfriend?”
“Yeah, Buckley... Sorry, I just assumed-”
“Oh,” he replied with realization. “Buckley, no we’re just friends. She’s practically my sister.” 
“Oh okay, cool.” She took another puff.
“Do you ever think about quitting? It’s a nasty habit.”
“Yeah well, what else do I have to do?”
“Go out with me?” She turned sharply to glare at him, her eyes going wide. “Not like go out with me. Shit, I said that wrong- Hangout. I meant hangout with me. As friends!”
She still looked frozen, giving him a look he couldn’t quite read. Was that happiness? Distast? Maybe she didn’t want to try being friends with him.
“I wanna see you outside of therapy and your work ya know?” he explained, trying not to dig himself into a deeper hole. “To not listen to Matt re-explain every class he has. I mean like, we’re not the ones in school.”
She laughed at that, probably understanding what he meant. Next to them, a car pulled up to the curb. It wasn’t Robin. 
“That’s my dad,” she responded softly, walking over to the car. She turned to open the passenger door but paused and looked back at him. “Meet me at the Hideout at 7? Saturday?”
Steve couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “I’ll be there.”
She gave him one last look before climbing into the car, driving away. The smile was still plastered on Steve’s face and he couldn’t help but think that this friendship was the beginning of his new life. One where the Upside Down didn’t haunt his dreams, or where he didn’t fight any demogorgons. One where he could leave that all behind. 
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The Hideout. It sounded familiar but Steve couldn’t place why he knew it. Even as he walked into the place, he knew he had never been there before. 
It was very grungy. The floors looked like they needed a deep cleaning and the walls were covered head to toe in band posters. A bar sat on the left side of the room, perfectly out of the way of the stage on the back wall. 
Walking in, Steve opted to stand next to a high table, no chairs in sight. He figured it was just a place for people to set down their drinks. Alcohol, however, did not feel the right call. He wanted to stay alert for his first hangout with Y/N. 
As his eyes drifted across the stage, he watched a band set up their equipment. There were only four of them. A drummer, bassist, guitarist, and a rhythm guitarist. It was probably some local band he had never heard of - he didn’t really keep up with current music.
But as he looked closer, he realized that they were familiar. The guy on rhythm guitar, he had seen him before. A math class? Was that it? Slowly, it started to come to him.
This was Eddie’s band.
The room felt like it became a million times hotter as Steve began to sweat. His heart thumping faster than normal. He needed to stay calm, he needed to control his panic. 
Since Eddie died, he tried to stay away from all things related to the guy. Instead of sitting in on the last few minutes of Dustin’s dnd games, he’d wait in the car. Instead of surfing any radio channel, he made sure to skip the metal station. But there was no skipping tonight.
He recognized three of the members but there was one that was new. He had shorter hair, a lanky build and a tattoo peeking out from under the arm of his t-shirt. He didn’t look familiar - not someone he went to school with. But then it dawned on him.
He was Eddie’s replacement. Before he even had time to process that information, he felt a small hand on his back, a presence next to him. 
“Hey, you made it,” Y/N said with a smile on her face. He hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.
“W-whata- what…” It was like he couldn’t speak, the image of Eddie’s band moving on without him still in his mind. “W-why did you bring me here?” he finally got out.
Y/N furrowed her brows. “To see Corroded Coffin?” she responded, not really understanding what he meant. “I thought it would be fun, my brother said they’re playing a new song tonight.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Brother?”
“Yeah… Gareth? On the drums? I thought you remembered.” 
No, he didn’t remember. He turned back to the band setting up. Gareth was putting down the hi-hat to complete his drum set. 
Trying to stay calm, he said, “Oh cool…did uh, did you know Eddie too?”
Her face dropped slightly at the mention of his name. “Yeah, I did. He was a good guy.” All he could do was nod, taking a deep breath in. He felt her arm wrap around his. “Everything’s gonna be fine. I’m sorry I should’ve told you why we were here.”
“No it’s okay. It’s like exposure therapy.”
She chuckled, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Sure.”
It didn’t take long for them to start, the music blaring out of speakers that were too loud for the room they were in. The new guy, in place of Eddie, was singing and Steve had to admit it wasn’t bad. His heart still ached at the thought of the band having to replace their star singer. They all looked like really close friends back in school. 
They played a couple songs, and Y/N pointed out the new one that her brother had mentioned. It was good, or better than he would have thought. Steve didn’t know how much he actually liked metal music but if he had to listen to any it would be this. 
But he wasn’t really focused on the music, more of the person standing next to him. He tried not to stare but she was so memorizing. Singing along to the songs she knew, bobbing her head to the ones she didn’t. It was nice seeing her outside the context of therapy. He also wasn’t complaining that her arm was still wrapped around his for a majority of the night.
As the new lead singer thanked the small crowd, leaving as they cheered, Steve felt Y/N tug his arm.
“Come on, let’s go say hello,” she said, pulling him through the crowd.
“S-say hello?” he asked. “Like to the band?”
“Duh,” she replied, waving at a bouncer guarding the backstage door. “We aren’t gonna see my brother perform and then leave.”
The corridor backstage was busier than he thought it would be. The bar was small but it sure didn’t feel like that. People were walking up and down, some running like it was Madison Square Garden. He couldn’t tell who worked there, performed, or were just groupies stopping by. 
Turning right, they were met face to face with the green room, a written sign saying Corroded Coffin taped to the door. Y/N smiled at him before she reached for the handle, turning it to reveal a very hectic room.
The band members were just chatting but it sounded like shouting. It all halted when they walked in. 
“Y/N!” Garrett exclaimed, running over to hug her.
“You did great tonight, honestly all of you did,” she told him.
“And the new song?”
“Better than I could’ve imagined.”
Garret turned to look at Steve, his expression changing to something of confusion. “What is he doing here?”
“You brought Steve Harrington?” Jeff, the rhythm guitarist, chimed in.
Y/N turned to look at Steve confused. “I thought you said you knew Eddie?” 
“I-I did,” he told her, suddenly aware of how many eyes were staring at him. He looked around the room quickly before back at her. “I- just not with his usual crowd…”
The band continued to give him a blank stare.
“I know Dustin, Lucas, and Mike? I know you used to play dnd together,” he added.
Grant, the bassist, crossed his arms. “You know Henderson?” he asked. 
Steve nodded. “He’s like a little brother to me.”
They stared in silence at him and what was probably five seconds felt like eternity. It wasn’t until Jeff shrugged and spoke up that Steve realized his heart rate was quickening. 
“I guess you're okay then,” Jeff said, “As long as you don’t try to shove us into lockers.”
If Jeff didn’t chuckled he would have if he was serious. His laugh rippled throughout the room, breaking the tension and it was like life started again. Joints were lit, drinks were poured, and Steve’s past was left forgotten.
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“Can I ask you something?” Steve asked. He walked next to Y/N in the cold, night air, the only sound audible coming from the shuffling of their shoes. 
“Sure,” she said, reaching into her pocket to grab a cigarette.
“That first time we talked, like at Dr Ackerman’s…you mentioned someone named Gary.” He felt her stiffen next to him, a slight stutter in her step. “Who was he?”
Dropping her head to the unlit cigarette, she decided to shove it back into her pocket. He instantly regretted asking. 
Apologizing, he said, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, it’s okay…” she waved off. “Exposure therapy, right?” she said, repeating his words from earlier in the night, letting him know it was okay. “Gary was my neighbor in my freshman year dorms. We hit it off really quick and started to date.”
She looked at the ground as she talked, hands shoved into her pockets. Steve however, couldn’t take his gaze off her. 
“He was fine, uh, a good boyfriend. Well, at first…” she took a pause, almost long enough that he was thinking he should say something.
Luckily, she continued. “He stumbled into my room really drunk one night…tried to take advantage of me.” She shrugged, actually shrugged, like what she just told him was nothing. “I pushed him off me and he went blabbing to everyone that I was an attention seeking whore. All my friends stopped talking to me, even my roommate…and the administration wouldn’t do anything about it even though he, you know…”
She trailed off as she kicked a rock with her shoe and Steve could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. How could someone, anyone, do that sort of thing? Not even when he was considered King Steve would he force himself onto a girl. 
Y/N sighed. “It was like high school was repeating itself, you know? I didn’t get to have my fresh start.”
He nodded, trying to understand what she went through. They never ran in the same circles in high school, but it was hard not to hear the rumors going around about who she was sleeping with. He assumed Billy was the one to start them and let it be. Looking back, he wished he had stood up for her. 
“It sucks,” he began warily, not knowing if it was okay to speak. When she looked up at him, it gave him the courage to continue. “When other people decide who they think you are. I-I mean, I didn’t go through that but I do have problems with the way people perceive me, my reputation.”
“I-I mean that’s when all my panic attacks started I just- I couldn’t stay there. It’s so stupid…”
“It’s not!” Steve reassured her. “Not stupid in the slightest. I would have left too if it were me. I mean, I didn’t even get into college. There was nowhere for me to run.” The more he began to speak of his own problems, the more anxious he became. “Not that what I went through was worse than you, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to turn the conversation on to me-”
“-No, Steve, it’s okay. I get it, you’re just trying to relate to me.” He nodded - it was like she took the words right out of his mouth. “Could we go back to yours? If I remember those high school parties correctly, you have a pool.”
“Sure. Y-yeah cool,” he blubbered. He couldn’t remember the last time talking to a girl made him anxious like this. Trying to catch his cool, they headed toward Loch Nora. 
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“The back door should be unlocked,” Steve informed Y/N as they approached his house. 
It wasn’t a far walk from the bus stop they got off on and he could still see his car parked in the driveway - but only his car. Robin had told him ahead of time that she was going to sleep at her own home for once that week - her parents wanting to see more of her.
“Wow, it’s exactly how I remembered it,” Y/N commented as he opened the back gate.
He looked back at her. “You remember what my house looks like?”
Shrugging, she said, “Like I said, I went to a couple of your parties.” The pool’s lights illuminated the otherwise dark backyard, steam rising from its surface. “Now this is what I’m talking about.”
Without warning, Y/N pulled her shirt off, moving to pull down her pants. Steve’s eyes went wide, turning around to give her privacy. “What are you doing?”
“Getting in your pool? I don’t know about you, Harrington, but I don’t carry a bathing suit with me.”
“I guess…” Steve said, suddenly unsure of their plan. 
It was just like a bikini right? Only it felt so much more intimate. He heard a splash from behind him, a gasp as she rose to the surface for air. 
“You coming in?”
Slowly he turned around facing her as she grazed her hands over the surface of the water. She looked so majestic with her hair slicked back. He felt like deer in headlights as he looked at her. He could go inside, grab one of the many swimming trunks he had in his closet. But instead, he opted to strip down to his boxers, leveling the playing field. 
He could tell she was surprised, not thinking he would do the same thing as her. But nonetheless he jumped right in. The splash completely covered her but she didn’t seem to mind, already dunking her head moments before. When he rose to the surface, he inhaled deeply. 
“Hey!” She exclaimed, wiping water from her eyes. 
“You were already wet!” He retorted.
Without warning, she lunged herself at him. Steve felt as she collided with his chest, sending him falling back into the water, taking her with him. He barely had enough time to breathe before he felt himself submerged back under the surface. On instinct, an arm wrapped around her midsection, balancing her against him as he used his legs to push them back up for air.
Breaking the surface tension, he felt Y/N cling to him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she tried to balance against his bent knee. They were both gasping for air, taking a moment to recover. But the moment she looked up at him, those beautiful eyes he stared into at the diner, it was like a damn broke. 
She smiled, letting out a giggle and he too couldn’t keep a straight face. As her face buried in his neck he asked, “What was that for?”
“I don’t know, it looked like you needed to have fun,” she responded. 
“So you pushed me.”
Y/N lifted her head from his neck, her hands still around his neck. “You’re a very pushable person.”
“Oh am I?”
“Definitely.” She giggled, her fingers absentmindedly playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. “I could stay like this forever.”
Steve smiled, his cheeks getting warmer. “Me too. It’s like a little pocket out of time. We don’t have to think about the future.”
“Or the past…” She was silent for a second, her fingers still moving and Steve tried his best to stay still. A beautiful girl was practically sitting on his lap and he was trying to hard to not fuck it up. 
“That first session, you talked about all the loss you’ve been around. Is there a reason for that?”
“Interdimensional monsters,” he blurted out. It felt good to say the truth even if it was met with a laugh. Who would believe in another dimension anyway?
“Fine don’t tell me,” she said, letting her hands rest on his shoulders. 
The cool touch of her fingers spread across him, down through his chest. It was hard to stop thinking about how little fabric separated them, especially with the way her fingers grazed his skin.
For a moment he almost swore she looked down at his lips. “I bet…” she began, tilting her head back to show her thinking. “That you have daddy issues.”
“Who doesn’t?”
She giggled, her forehead tipping forward, almost touching his. A piece of hair fell across her face and without thinking he reached up to brush it away. Y/N looked up at him, their eyes meeting as he softly pushed the strand behind her ear. 
This time, he knew for certain, she had looked at his lips, right after he did the same.
The little space left between them closed as Y/N leaned forward, capturing his mouth. It was softer than he would had thought. Her rough exterior not matching her tender touch. He felt her arms wrap back around him, fingers gripping his hair. He let out a moan, tightening the grip he had on her waist.
She pulled back for a moment, only to tilt her head to the other side, her lips crashing back down on his. A small whimper let out from her mouth and Steve felt like he died and went to heaven. He wanted to hear it again, to be the only one that made her sound that way. It was intoxicating, like a vampire thirsting for blood. 
He let his kisses trail down her cheek, reattaching himself to her throat. She moaned even louder and he never wanted to let go. 
“That feels nice,” she said, breathlessly. The grip on his hair grew tighter but he didn’t mind. She could poke, pull, or prod, any part of him and he would let her.
“You feel nice.”
Without meaning too, she pressed down on his lap. And even through their underwear and the water of the pool, Steve felt ecstatic. He detached himself from her neck gasping at the pressure. 
“Jesus Christ,” he murmured to himself but it might have been louder than he expected. 
Y/N looked up at him with a smile. But as her eyes found his, Steve was confused as to why it started to vanish. Detaching herself from him, he watched as she floated away until her back hit the pool wall. 
Something was wrong, he just knew it. Was it something he did or said? Was it the kiss?
“I should probably go,” she told him, pulling herself out of the pool. 
“Oh,” he said in surprise. Why the rush to leave so quickly? “Okay…”
As he joined her by the lounging chairs, he watched as she tried to put a leg through her pants. 
“Wait,” he stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him before straightening her back. “Don’t put your clothes over your wet ones.”
“How else would I-“
He interrupted her, knowing if he didn’t say what was in his mind he’d lose the courage to say it. 
“-you can stay. Like, stay over?”
Why was he this nervous? He had plenty of girls over before. But with her, things felt different. Y/N raised her eyebrows at his comment. 
“If you want to,” he rushed out to say. “You could take a shower, I could dry your clothes and-“
“Okay,” she spoke over him. 
It felt like all the air left his body. “Yeah?” He asked again for reassurance. Slowly she nodded, a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Okay yeah. Cool, um…this way.”
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Steve’s hands twitched nervously as he sat on his bed. Y/N was in the shower, due to come out any minute. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had a girl over before. Just that the last person to sleep in his bed broke his heart. They had shared a space, gotten warm together under his blankets, baked in the morning sun. It held more meaning to him than he realized before.
As he clutched his hands, trying to calm himself down, the door creaked open. He looked up, watching as Y/N hesitantly peered in. As soon as he saw her face, it was like there was a calm that washed over him. The idea of having someone sleep in his bed filled him with anxiety, but when he saw Y/N it all faded away. He wanted her next to him, he wanted to share his space with her. 
Closing the door behind her, Y/N stood awkwardly across the room. But Steve couldn’t help but smile. She looked so cute in his clothes, the fabric clinging to her skin in ways that left little to the imagination. 
“I left the towel in the laundry room,” she said. “I hope that was okay.” 
“Yeah,” he said quickly, being pulled from his thoughts. “Yup that’s okay. I already started the load on drying your clothes.” 
“Cool,” she said, intertwining her fingers in front of her. 
Steve motioned to his bed. “Do you prefer a side or-”
She shook her head. “Nope. I-I’m fine with either.”
Steve hummed an agreement, moving to take the ride side of the bed. He watched her join on the other side as he pushed the covers back. They both had romantic experiences; both sleeping with someone else in their bed. But in the moment, it felt like they were little kids again.
Steve carefully covered both of them, sinking back down into his mattress. He tried not to touch her, to give her space after what happened in the pool. And with her past, he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Starting at the ceiling he heard Y/N sigh. Turning his head he could see her covering her face.
“Are you okay?” He asked, turning to face her. “D-do you want to sleep in my parents room? They’re not home-”
“No, this is perfectly fine just,” she dropped her hands onto her chest as she stared up, not meeting his gaze. He could see her eyes getting watery, a tear on the verge of falling. “I-I don’t wanna do anything with you like- sexually. And I’m sorry if that’s blunt but after everything with Gary-”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he reassured her to try and show her this was a safe space. “I wasn’t expecting to, honestly.”
She turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Really?” she asked, not convinced. 
“Really,” he replied. “I haven’t really been the same since Nance and I broke up and- nevermind it’s not important. I could leave if this is too much.”
“No I want you here I really do I’m just…confused. I don’t know.” 
She buried her head in her hands again, probably to stop him from seeing her start to cry. Steve ached for her. To see her like this, to know that this was the fault of another person. That a person could do that to someone else. 
“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he told her, moving the comforter aside. “That way we won’t be alone but we can have our space.”
She looked back at him, her cheeks wet with tears. “No, I don't wanna make you sleep on the floor in your own room.”
“It’s nothing really,” he dismissed, grabbing his pillow and a spare blanket that was thrown across his desk chair. “Trust me, I’ve slept in worse places than on a rugged floor.”
“If I wasn’t a mess right now I’d ask you to elaborate.”
He fluffed his pillow, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. Y/N peered over the bed, still unsure of the sleeping arrangement though he could tell it was putting her more at ease. 
“A conversation for another time,” he said and he swore he could see a smile on his face.
“Okay,” she said softly, her head disappearing as she laid back down on the bed. 
There was silence for a moment and Steve thought that she had fallen asleep. But her soft voice glided through the air. 
“Steve?” she asked.
“Yeah?”
There was another beat. Another moment of silence before he heard her whisper, “Thank you.”
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Even on the floor of his room, the sun found a way to shine on his face. The warm light slowly woke him up, making him rub his eyes in an attempt to not blind himself. He almost forgot he was on the floor of his room until he rolled over to open his nightside drawer, feeling his hand brush against the floor instead. 
As his eyes came into focus, he willed himself to sit up. Why was he on the floor again? Right, Y/N. Beautiful Y/N who should be asleep on his bed. But as he leaned his head up to see over the edge of the mattress, he was met with an empty bed. The covers were made neatly, all pillows back in place, as if no one had even slept there the night before. 
Steve rubbed his eyes, like if he cleared himself from his sleepy haze she would materialize in his room. But as his eyes began to focus again, he found he was still alone. Grunting, he stood up, pulling the pillow and blanket he had used with him. He looked around the room and it seemed that nothing was out of place.
Did he imagine last night? Did he feel so alone that he willed himself to believe that Y/N actually slept over? His eyes continued to scan for anything out of place, a breath of relief when they landed on his dresser.
The clothes he had lent her were neatly stacked on his desk and if he had to guess, her drying clothes in the laundry room would be gone. So he hadn’t imagined it. What happened? Why was she in such a rush to leave?
Maybe she regretted the night before, thinking he hadn’t changed since his days at King Steve. Perhaps the kiss was too much and she regretted it. Steve’s mind spiraled down a dark hole he knew too well. If he didn’t stop now, he would trigger another panic attack.
Taking a moment before getting ready for the day, he sat down on his bed, closing his eyes. He just needed to breathe. In and out, in and out. Over and over again he focused on his breath, letting all his energy go into calming himself down.
He needed to talk to Y/N. To clarify everything from last night before it ate away at him. 
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Steve drove himself to therapy the following week. Partly because Robin was still back at her parents, and partly because he needed more time to think. As the time of the group session approached, he felt his heart rate begin to rise. His thoughts raced faster than they did when he woke up to find her gone.
He just needed to get there. Seeing her would calm him, reassure him that he didn’t fuck up. But as he parked his car and raced inside, he was saddened to find that she wasn’t there. Maybe she was just late. She had been late in the past, it was logical to assume she could be late today. 
Matt and Sam had tried to talk to him but he only politely nodded as they spoke. His tongue felt too heavy in his mouth. Like lifting it to speak would only result in incoherent babbling. Thankfully, Dr. Ackerman’s presence let him stay silent. 
The session began and Steve found himself staring at the door. He nodded, giving short answers when required but his attention was still trained on the closed door. She had to walk through the door. To join their weekly sessions. But as the topic drifted from one person to another, Y/N never arrived. 
Steve was quick to leave, rushing to the parking lot to see if she had missed the session and was just arriving. To his disappointment, she wasn’t there. Not even a lingering smell of cigarettes in the air from her usual smoking spot. 
He arrived early for the next session, and the next, and soon a whole month went by without her attending. Every session his eyes stayed on the door, willing her to walk through. Maybe if he was like Eleven, telepathically gifted, he could find out where she was. No, he thought. Even with those powers, it would be an invasion of privacy. And he didn’t want to be where he wasn’t welcomed. 
Robin had been spending more and more time with her parents to figure out packing for the fall semester so Steve had been driving himself more often in Y/N’s absence.
Another missed therapy session had him driving home in silence, not even the radio playing to fill the void. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel in an irregular pattern as he turned onto his street. Slowly, his house came into view and he could see the vague outline of someone sitting on the front steps. 
That’s weird, he thought to himself. Robin had a key, most people in the party did for emergencies. So why was she waiting outside?
As he pulled closer, almost fully into the driveway, his eyes adjusted. It wasn’t Robin, or anyone he had fought monsters with. It was Y/N. 
Y/N, smoking a cigarette as she patiently waited for him to come home. He felt himself falter, his foot almost slamming on the brakes. She was here, more beautiful than the last time he saw her – though it was pretty hard for her to look anything but perfect. 
The engine revved as he pulled into the driveway, pulling Y/N’s attention to him. Quickly, she stood up, putting her cigarette out with the heel of her shoe. Steve felt glued to the inside of the car. Their eyes had met, not separating as he put in the car in park. All he wanted was to get out and speak to her. But something in his chest tightened. If she had been avoiding him for the past week, she had her reasons. And part of him didn’t want to know for certain he was the problem.
He tried to move, he truly did. But his anxiety was ruling over his brain and he didn’t know how to stop it. Thankfully, Y/N seemed to notice. Moving forward, she opened his passenger door and climbed in. He never took his eyes off her, even when she turned her back to close the door. 
Turning back to him, she weakly said, “Hey.”
“H-hi,” he managed to blurt out. Silence hung in the air, as he figured out what to say. Y/N continued to speak. “Sorry to show up at your house, I didn’t mean to be a bother.”
“You’re not a bother,” he blurted out. “Y-you’re never a bother.”
He was looking directly into her eyes, his gaze never wavering. It didn’t break until Y/N looked down at her lap and he could have sworn he saw a small smile form on her lips. A moment passed, then two, and neither of them talked. 
Despite being uncomfortable with long silences, Steve didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t feel like his social battery drained when he was around her. If anything, she made him feel more alive. She knew what he was going through, one of the best kept secrets in his life and she knew. 
“I missed you,” she said softly, still looking down at her lap.
“I’ve missed you too…Louise keeps talking about her one night stands and I don’t think I can take any more of it,” he said, gaining back some composure from earlier.
Y/N laughed, her shoulders hunching forward. She looked back up at him, her eyes darting back and forth between the two of his. As the smile slowly faded from her face, her eyes remained on his. It was clear she wanted to talk about what happened. Maybe she just needed a push.
“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Steve asked. 
She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know it’s just – when I woke up in your room, my mind immediately went back to Gary.” She paused for a moment and he let her gather her thoughts. “I just went into a spiral like I did with him. Like did I force you to kiss me? Did you really want me sleeping in your bed or did I coerce you to? What would people think if they see the town whore sleeping with the former king of Hawkins High just – it’s stupid, I’m sorry.”
“It’s not stupid,” he said immediately, reaching his hands out on the center console. He didn’t want to touch her without asking, but wanted to let her know he was there if she needed to. He sighed. 
“I didn’t expect to kiss you that night,” he continued. She looked up at him, biting the inside of her cheek. “But that didn’t mean I didn’t want you to. You in no way forced me to kiss you…and I was the one who wanted you to stay. I-I should’ve been more vocal so you didn’t feel forced to.”
Y/N nodded, leaning forward with her hands on the center console, not quite touching his. 
“If you want to keep seeing me, friend or something more, I promise I will walk you through everything thought in my head so we’re on the same page.”
She raised an eyebrow, some color coming back to her face. “Every thought?”
He nodded. “Oh for sure. Like how I’ve been craving a ham and cheese sandwich since I woke up this morning.” She giggled again at his obvious attempt to make her feel better. “And like how I’d really like to hold your hand right now.”
He stared at her in his car, the sun slowly setting outside, and felt the touch of her fingers against his. It felt like an immediate release, a tightness he didn’t know was there unfolding in his chest. 
“I would like to keep seeing you too,” she told him, and it was like his heart was doing a million leaps of joy. “I don’t know if I can handle anything more right now,”
“-and that is completely fine with me,” he reassured her quickly, feeling a tight squeeze of reassurance in his hand.
“Thank you for understanding. In the future, if I’m ready…I’d like to explore that possibility with you.”
Steve gave her a big grin, not trying to hide what he was feeling. “Good, uh, that’s good to know.”
They sat in his car, hands intertwined like the rest of the world didn’t matter. Like their pasts and reputations didn’t haunt them like a shadow. For now, they had each other and that was all they could ask for. 
Steve didn’t need some fancy school or big corporate job. Just someone who understood him, who knew what it was like to feel the things he felt and not be judged. 
He was happy he finally found someone who did just that.
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Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @halflifejess @nix-rose @palmtreesx3 @cilliansnostolgia @sweetdazequeen
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ssparksflyy · 2 days
Note
hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻
ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.
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jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..
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mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡
there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.
hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed
but other times noooo he goes running 🙄
what is bro running from? sleep???
omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine
one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together
you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out
so you had to stay behind and help fix it
by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭
mind you it was like 9:15 pm
its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??
he apologized sm in the morning tho
but u were like its okay el oh el
he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you
its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho
cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep
he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠
nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡
so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS
u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense
but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡
he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(
he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work
you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))
to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡
jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair
the most relaxing thing everrrrr
i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me
his hair would be soft asf bro
best believe he uses a good conditioner !!
he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~
so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree
0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary
cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts
he looks amazing but THEM EYES
terrifying. staring into ur soul.
theyre cute tho ♡♡
you OBVI have matching pjs
i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick
jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY
but he buys u so many plushies ugh
you own so many jellycats im so jealous
he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like
u have matching build-a-bears !!!
the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(
his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡
nd u get matching outfits for them!!
urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡
i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares
like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(
most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life
but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much
now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((
he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable
little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡
and on the same nights as he does...
CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS
nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !
zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway
i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨
but doesn't actually do anything
u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡
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an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.
peace from manhattan,
percy jackson ♡
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midorisplash · 3 days
Text
“Can I sleep in here?”
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo × Reader
Summary: You're spending the night with the triplets and your bestie Nick makes you sleep on the couch. You don’t like it very much... so you'll find somewhere else to sleep.
Warnings: Making out, mentions of commit issues, handjob, cum eating.
A/n: cracking my knuckles with this one, first time writing in so long but I was horny.
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“Chris.” You opened his door with a knock standing at the door frame. “Hm?” He groaned twisting under his sheets his head pushed into his pillows. “Chris.” You spoke again. “Can I sleep in here?” He groaned loudly and turned onto his back sitting up on his elbows. “Hm? Why?” He mumbled his voice deep and raspy. “Cause the couch is uncomfortable, and it’s dark and lonely out there.” You spoke honestly. You saw, only from the moon lighting up his bedroom a grin spread across his face. “Just sleep with Nick.” “No, he always takes all the covers from me.” You spoke rolling your eyes and walking into the room closing the door behind you. “You won’t even know I’m here. Please.”
Chris groaned and finally nodded watching as you quickly walked over crawling into bed next to him. “You’re lucky I don’t like sleeping alone and Matt didn’t want me in his room tonight.” He spoke letting his body plop onto the bed his hands coming up to rub his tired face. “Why not?” You spoke. “Cause he’s yapping about some alone time.” He huffed folding his arms. “He’s like alone all the time, how more alone can you get.” You nodded at his words. “Why do you always wanna sleep with one of them anyway?” He sighed and looked at you. “Cause I get lonely, just how you felt.” You smiled looking back at him. “Well, was good I came in here then. We needed each other's company.” He nodded and smiled at you before it quickly dropped, he blinked looking back at the ceiling.
You noticed that reaction and frowned. “What was that for?” You spoke softly. “Nothing. It's stupid.” He smiled and chuckled to himself. “That just felt too intimate..” “It’s literally wasn’t at all.” You giggled. “Yeah it was you were like ‘I’m lonely’ and I was like me too, and then we kissed that’s basically what happened.” Chris spoke. You laughed quietly nudging his arm. “It's not funny, that's what happened..” He smiled. You rolled your eyes taking a breath. “You wish. What’s so bad about it being an intimate moment between us? The thought of that's so bad you had to look away in disgust?” “Cause it didn’t feel friend intimate it felt partner intimate. And I didn't look away in that way I was just nervous.” He grumbled the last party looking back to you.
“Oh, so partner intimates not okay between us?” You whispered looking back at him. “I- I mean… I didn’t say that…Yeah, it’s cool.” He muttered clearing his throat. “Umm, so you wanna start heading to bed?” You smiled at how fast he changed the subject, you could tell he had gotten nervous and shy from the silly conversation. You wished you could see his face better the moon wasn't light enough to show you how red you knew his face was, but you could see how almost puppy-like his eyes looked. So vulnerable that small moment enough to make him look and feel that way. As his friend you knew too well about his committ issues so that explained why he was getting so shy from it feeling so intimate. “I'm not that sleepy now, I wanna keep talking If that's okay.” You spoke sitting up enough you could look down at him. “You okay Chris?” "Y-yeah I’m fine..” He spoke softly.
You had always wanted to do something with Chris but because of your relationship with him and his brothers and of course his issues, you knew it probably would never happen. But in this moment you couldn’t help but ask a simple question. The worst he could say was no. “Can I kiss you?” He blinked but to your surprise nodded pretty quickly. You smiled and looked down at his lips letting your eyes fall close as you leaned down your lips connecting with his. He kissed back trying to keep up with the pace of your movements as you licked and bit at his lip. He moaned quietly and sat up so the kiss could deepen bringing a hand to rest on your waist.
You both sat fully up Chris's back resting against his headboard your hand trailing down his chest to the hem of his pajamas. He pulled away his lips wet and puffy from all your bitting. “D-do you wanna do more? It’s up to you.” Chris whispered trying to catch his breath quietly. You smiled and nodded looking down to where your hand was resting, further down his dick creating a tight tint in his pants. Chris felt embarrassed you saw him like this and couldn’t help but turn his head away from you wanting to hide his face. You looked at him bringing your hand up to his chin to make him look at you. “Pull your pants down.” “Okay.” Chris nodded taking a deep breath and holding it bringing his hand down and lifting his hips pulling his pajamas down just enough that his hard dick sprung out from his lack of underwear.
Chris let out his breath feeling it hitch just from the way you looked at it his body starting to tremble. You placed your hand to rest on his lower stomach using your index finger to rub in a small circle down to his groin. His hips twitched up erupting a chuckle from you, looking at his face. He had his eyebrows knitted together his lip tucked under his teeth he looked so ready for any simulation of his painfully hard dick. “C-come on.” He whispered and finally looked at your eyes. You smiled looking back at him. “I can tell you haven’t been touched in a while.” You spoke bringing your hand up to your mouth spitting in it. Chris nodded watching your hand closely holding his breath as you brought it back down to his dick finally granting him some relief of wrapping your warm hand around his erection.
He let go of the breath he was holding his head falling back onto the headboard, his eyes fluttering close. “Fuck.” He moaned thrusting up a bit. You slowly started to move your hand up and down his shaft looking at him to watch his face contort. With his pre cum and your spit it made your hand glide with ease rubbing over the head of his cock making his dick twitch each time. “Look at me.” You whispered. He tried to keep his head up and his eyes open to look at you biting at his lip to suppress his most pitiful moans.
You smiled and brought your free hand behind his neck starting to scratch his head rubbing at his scalp. “Ugh…Oh my god.” He whimpered grabbing your neck gently and pulling you back into a kiss that quickly became heated. You kept a steady pace of his leaky dick making sure to rub at his slit with every other pump. Chris groaned into the kiss his hand flying to the base of his dick holding it tightly. It was so embarrassing. He didn’t want you to think of him as a sex-less loser but that’s sorta what he was. Just from a few minutes of you jerking him off, he felt his stomach gain that familiar knot daring to break at any moment. His dick twitched in your fist and his legs twisted around the bed he couldn’t help but pull away from the kiss to look at your hand working his dick. “I’m gonna cum..” He whimpered putting his hand to his side to keep himself from grabbing your hand and making you stop. The overwhelming feeling of his orgasm about to rush over him making him whine and whimper without any care who would hear. You giggled and looked at his face taking in exactly how he looked. Sp fucked out, and he hasn't even came. “Go ahead, Chris, I want you to cum.” You whispered scratching the back of his head before gripping it roughly.
“Agh fuck! Fuck me… I’m cumming!” He whined his eyes closing tightly as the knot in his stomach finally ripped apart hard his orgasm rushing through him. He thrusted up his cum spurting onto his chest and oozing onto your hand. You looked down to watch and gasped with a giggle. You didn’t stop your hand jerking him off till he rode out his orgasm shaking and wresting around his bed.
You gave him a couple more pumps then let go of his hair and dick holding your hand out in front of you. He brought his hand to his lower stomach rubbing at it in hopes to calm his shaking body down. He panted hard and loud turning his head to look at you. “T-that..that was so fast. I’m sorry.” He spoke. “Don’t apologize. I’m glad I could help you cum like that, lonely boy.” You smiled bringing your hand to your face and looking at it a moment before sliding your finger into your mouth and tasting his cum.
He watched you in amazement a smile forming on his face. “Did you seriously just do that?” He spoke raising an eyebrow. “What about it, I wanted to taste you.” You smiled back sucking on your other finger. Chris rolled his eyes slightly taking a breath before speaking. “You’re amazing.” He spoke leaning in a kiss you again.
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bitchimasnake-sss · 2 days
Note
i love from me to you sm! 😭 like it aimed directly to my heart 😭 you're so good at writing stuff so, here i am asking for a zoro!fic where reader hides that she got wounded during their last battle and zoro founds out and our poor moss head thought reader was gonna die so, he confessed (i just love flustered zoro) 😚 n e ways, continue writing the best stories!! lotsoflove! - glasses of nanamin
i feel like this is your second ask cause of the "n e ways" but lol, eitherways that's such a cute concept!! i would love love love this (i tweaked the prompt a little bit to fit it better, but i hope you like it it still)
got me losin' my cool ft. roronoa zoro!
set-up: as anon asked!! you get hurt during a fight and zoro almost has a mental breakdown haha live, laugh, love <3
warning: a bit of angst, zoro is a dumbass. otherwise, wholesome!
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roronoa zoro's feet pound against the earth and he was sure that with every leap he took, his heart sunk further under. his fingers were clammy. so very clammy against your soft skin. and he was sure the sweat dripping off his forehead and dropping onto your bloodied tank top was the last thing you wanted to see before you died.
"zo—" you rasped helplessly and your voice felt like graters against his skin. your chapped lips, almost closed eyes, the wound on your stomach and your week, blood-stained hand on it. he couldn't even bear to look at you without wanting to breakdown.
"stop talkin, please." he clenched his jaw tighter, the sound of teeth against teeth jarring. and although he refused to look down at you, cradled carefully in his arms, he could hear the desperate heaves that rocked your body.
he picked up the pace, ducking under hanging vines and leaping over overgrown roots of ancient trees carefully, so, as to not hurt you. the ship should be two minutes away, docked at the edge of the island and chopper must be there. and chopper would know what to do. how to help you.
zoro had to just deliver you to chopper.
but with his poor geographical skills, he felt like he had been running for the past thirty minutes without finding the ship. and he was certain the ship was docked only 10 minutes away from where the fight was taking place between the strawhat crew and a local pirate crew.
"zoro—" you started again.
why were you speaking? DID YOU WANT TO DIE?
"—don't use up your breath. please." he panted, feet still working to find the ship. where was that goddamn ship?
"that side—" you winced as you pointed your arm in the opposite direction. you coughed, wincing again before whispering, "the sunny."
zoro's head whipped around to look behind him. and at once, he changed the course. running as fast as he could, he soon found himself at the rocky beach the ship had been docked at.
"CHOPPER!" the swordsman bellowed for the mini doctor as he climbed up the ship. the reindeer was peering over the deck and when he looked at your nearly passed-out figure, he yelped in surprise.
"she got stabbed." zoro explained as he carried you inside to chopper's makeshift office/operation theater. laying you down gently, they both looked guilty as you groaned and clutched your own hand on the wound tighter.
"i need to apply some anti-septic, clean the wound and stitch it up." chopper stated, eerily calm in the heat of the moment. "here—" he gave zoro a sterilized cloth from his cupboard, "—apply it to her wound. put pressure on the area, i need to go make the anti-septic really quick."
"you have to make it? how long will that take?" if the swordman wasn't scared out of his wits, he would be surprised at how desperate he sounded.
"five minutes."
zoro looked at the reindeer wide-eyed. but the reindeer ran off, presumably to make the said medicine.
he looked back at you, putting the cloth to the wound and gently pushing down. he knew how to make the bleeding stop, he had done this multiple time. what he hadn't done multiple times was see you so lifeless, so incredibly overtaken by pain.
"hey." he found himself saying softly. softer than he had ever spoken before, "hey, can you look at me? hear me?"
you nodded slowly and relief washed over him. atleast you hadn't lost all cognitive senses.
"just focus on my voice, okay?" he knelt down so that he was on your eye-level from the bed. his other hand gingerly took ahold of yours. mindlessly, he rubbed soothing circles on your skin. he repeated, "just focus on my voice. yeah, close your eyes. i'm here okay?"
you found yourself closing your eyes, relying solely on the darkness of your eyelids and his voice to guide you to safety. his hand felt like a familiar weight against your stomach, the kind of touch that will renew a dead man and get him climbing back from his grave. his voice was sweet, too sweet to be even called his.
"i—" he paused, rubbing your skin with the pad of his thumb, "chopper's gonna fix you up, you know. h-he always does. i mean you're stronger than this. you'd survive, right?"
he's not sure if he meant to ask it as a question. he was sure he had said it to sound reassuring. but somewhere in between him uttering the words and you hearing them, they had turned into a desperate, desolate plea.
your chest fluttered underneath him, your breath strained. the face he adored slowly scrunched up from the pain. and he found himself talking even more.
"focus on me, okay? just me." he steeled his voice. and his nerves. "you'd be okay. you know, you always said you'd make me mochi, you never did. you said you'd make sake flavoured mochi. is that even a thing?" he laughed despite himself. it was barely a laugh. a pitiful scoff maybe? it was not the kind of laugh that would fool you.
"uh— once you get better." he pretended to ignore the way your body seemed to go slack under him. he repeated, "once you get better, i'm gonna convince franky to make us fireworks. you love those. and- and nami. i'd convince that money-hungry witch to lend me some money so that i can take you out. we will go shopping. you always said you—"
why were you so awfully quiet? usually, you'd talk to the point where he wanted to cut his ear off. now, he wanted to her you. he wanted to hear you call him a moss-head like sanji and he wanted you to laugh when he yelled at luffy for doing something stupid. and—
"—hey?" his voice pitched higher, "please wait, chopper will be back yeah?"
but you didn't even shake your head a weak yes. his shaky fingers reached out to look for your pulse on your neck. it was there. feeble, but there. but for how long?
how long till he lost you?
his throat was closing up, he couldn't breathe. his eyes burned and he was sure he was gonna mark your skin with his own from the way he held onto your wrist.
why won't you talk to him? call out his name, god fucking dammit. nobody called his name the way you did. as if you liked the syllables enough to make a home out of them. nobody smiled at him the way you did. so sweet, too sweet for him. you were everything. even though he was just another wrecked, broken boy with dreams too big for his mortal body, you were everything.
"please," he clutched onto you like a maddening bastard, "please. just hold on, okay?"
but bile seemed to crawl farther up his throat every time you didn't respond. not even a slight glance. not even the movement of a pinky. his fingers checked for your pulse. faint, but there.
and he couldn't hold his words back. he called out your name in a desperate effort to awaken you. water blurred his vision and he blinked it away. his throat was scratchy. too scratchy. and where was chopper?
"i love you." he finally confessed, not thinking much of his words than the fact that he just wanted you to hear them. "i love you so much. i have for so long. i-it wasn't supposed to be like this. i- i was gonna take you out to explore some island. i would have bought you food and called you an idiot when you smiled at me. then— then." he paused, "i would have told you i loved you. you would have said nothing back. and i would have loved even despite that."
he called out your name, sobs racking through his body like accursed symphonies.
"move." chopper was back, in his hand was a ceramic bowl with a green, gooey paste. "go out. i'd call you back, okay?"
if chopped noticed the state zoro was in, he simply chose not to dwell on it. and if zoro had any residual doubts for what kind of a doctor chopper was, he didn't dwell on them either. he caressed your hand one last time and stepped out.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
the swordsman had been pacing around the deck. none of the members were back and it gnawed on his heart. what if they were hurt too? should he go back to see? but how could he leave chopper and you alone here? and what kind of a first mate was he if he cannot even save his own crew?
the world's greatest swordman be damned.
chopper stepped out and zoro looked at the doctor, frantic. chopper gave him a sigh and chased it with a smile, "she's okay."
zoro was not sure if it was the exhaustion, or the relief, or some other feeling his gut had concocted in him without asking. but he crashed down on his knees. his palms felt rough against his face and when he inhaled, he could smell dried blood on them.
"hey." chopper trotted towards him, keeping his paw on the green-haired man's shoulders, "she's okay, really. they missed any vital spots and she didn't lose a lot of blood. she will heal, okay?"
zoro couldn't do anything but just nod along. then, when he had the courage to look away from his hands. he looked at the doctor, finally muttering a faint "thank you."
the reindeer blushed at the compliment, "don't thank me. but you know, once she's better, you should tell her how you feel. this time maybe while she's conscious."
"chopper." the swordsman groaned.
the reindeer shrugged mechanically, "i won't tell anyone what i heard if you promise to take her out on that date."
after much deliberation— having to choose between humiliation at the hand of his crewmates when they discovered his crush or the humiliation from his crush when he finally confessed— he finally gave in. after all, humiliation from one was better than humiliation from seven. especially that fucking cook.
"fine." he grumbled, "i'd take her out."
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
it had been two weeks since you were stabbed. well, you didn't talk to anyone about it, really. but when you drifted off into the wicked embrace of sleep, you would be plagued by the memories. and well, a confession.
it's not like you were pretending to be dead!! your body had simply given up. it was exhausted from the fighting and the not-dying. so, when you were laid on chopper's bed to be patched up, your body had gone slack. but just because your body had gone slack doesn't mean you weren't awake.
it had been two weeks and you hadn't told the green-haired asshole what you had heard. why? maybe cause you thought he would make the first move. or maybe because you weren't quite sure if he actually said those things or if you hallucinated it to dilute the pain.
eitherways, seemed like things between you and the mosshead were the same as they were before the incident. and you were really starting to consider the hallucination excuse. but then—
"hey." zoro quipped up as he came to stand beside you. it was cloudy today, the grey skies churning in anticipation of a storm. the winds were unkind and the sea was malevolent. beautiful nonetheless.
"oh hey." you turned and gave him a small smile. you shifted from one feet to another, pretending as if you weren't terrified of the route this conversation might take, "whats up?"
"uh—" he looked back for a spilt-second and you saw— from the corner of your eyes— chopper hidden behind a bunch of boxes, giving zoro his best death glare. zoro sighed, "so, uh, this is random, i think? but when we dock on the next island tomorrow morning. do like... do you want to go see some new sword-cleaning equipment with me?"
you shouldn't have laughed. but you did.
"what's funny?!" his eyes widened and his cheeks were dusted pink.
"no-nothing." you heaved, closing your eyes. "that's the best excuse you could come up with? sword cleaning equipment?"
"what do you mean 'excuse'? i need some equipment!"
"zoro." you forced open your eyes, your smile still frozen over your lips, "if you want to go out on a date with me, you should say that okay?"
his ears went red and he looked away. you were sure if the weather was quiet, you could hear his heart picking up the pace. clearing his throat, he finally asked, "who told you? chopper?"
"no, dummy." you reached your hand out, taking his calloused palm in yours. your thumb rubbed familiar patterns on his hand, "you did."
"me?" he snapped to look back at you, "me?"
you just gave him a grin, "this reminds me, i did promise you i'd try making sake flavoured mochi. i never did. but again, you said you'd ask frankie to make us fireworks and we're still firework-less. but hey, i forgive you if you forgive me okay?"
his head could have burst open from the sheer pressure on his brain but you continued, "but eitherways, what i really mean is that if you said i love you." you stepped a bit closer, "i'd say i love you too."
your hand let go of his and you chose to walk away, leaving him dumbfounded. when his senses came to him, he ran upto you, "YOU HEARD THAT ALL?!"
"all of it."
"ugh."
"heh, it was kinda cute."
"i thought you were dying, woman."
"in a way, we all already are."
"have you been hanging out with robin too much? god, kill me."
"god doesn't need to. you're already dying."
"i want to die faster."
you took his hand back in yours and pulled him towards yourself. pecking his cheek, you said, "no. we still have to go on that date. i mean, if you ever actually ask me."
the flustered mess that was rorononoa zoro just sighed. accepting his fate, he asked, "well, do you wanna go on that date or what?"
you snickered, "i'll think about it"
"do you live to annoy me?"
"maybe. but you love meee."
"i might change my mind after this."
but despite his words, his fingers stayed gently intertwined with yours. hey, maybe getting stabbed in the stomach wasn't all that bad? (jk, it was very very bad)
a/n: i love writing stoic men are flustered little guys lmaoo. hopefully y'all like this? i've been writing a lot of fluff/semi-angst lately. i wanna write some nsfw content but im so out of ideas. send reqs if you guys have anything in mind!!
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elllisaaa · 1 day
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Hey, how are you? First of all, I just want to say that I'm absolutely in love with your writing 🥹 you make it so fluid and fun to read 🖤
I'd like to ask a scenario/reaction for seventeen (ot13 individually, if possible) in which they have have a crush on reader, and then the reader gets cold and some other member offers them their hoodie, and they get kinda jealous and then might come up with some excuse for the reader to use their hoodie instead or something else of the sort. You can decide what each of them will do on your own, I wanna read it hehe
But just making it obvious they have a crush, even if they think they are not
Thank youuu, hope you have fun 🖤🖤
hiii lovely !! i'm doing good and i hope you are great too ! and thank you so much for these compliments, i'm glad to hear that you like my writing !! this was so fun and adorable to write even if it took me a looot of time but i hope you'll still like it ! thank you for sending in an ask !
seventeen getting jealous of you wearing another member's hoodie
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-> pairing : svt × gn!reader
-> words count : 1.6k words
-> genre : fluff
-> sorry if I made any mistakes, english is not my first language.
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !
-> masterlist | svt masterlist
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CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
He truly loves Jeonghan, he really does. But to see him smirk at him while giving you one of his hoodies was not on his bingo card of their friendship. He knew how teasing Jeonghan could get, but to do that when he perfectly knew the fat crush Seungcheol had on you felt wrong. He would get a little pouty, crossing his arms and shooting deadly glares at his friend. Right before you all had to leave for the bar, he told you that the color of Jeonghan’s hoodie was absolutely not fitting with the rest of your outfit and handed you one of his in a color that was going so much better with your other clothes. Cheol is very proud of the annoyed look on his friend’s face, and the sweet smile you give him as thank you.
YOON JEONGHAN
When he gets back from the store and sees you all comfy in Joshua’s hoodie, he’s not having it. He plays it off, asking you who this belongs to since it’s clearly not your usual style. And you give him exactly the answer he was waiting for. Jeonghan gives the piece of clothing a judging look but says nothing and just leaves for a few minutes. When he comes back, he throws another hoodie at you, one of his. And when you ask what was the problem with the one you had on, he argues that it doesn’t fit your aesthetic. You are a little confused but still put on Jeonghan's hoodie. He will spend the rest of the day watching over you with a little smirk on his face, proud of seeing you wear his clothes. 
HONG JOSHUA
I feel like Joshua is not so much a jealous guy but more of a possessive person. So he does not feel very jealous at seeing you wearing Jun’s hoodie, but he wants to make it clear that you’re his crush and not anyone else’s. He’s not even trying to hide it, it’s comical at this point. Joshua is straight up telling you that he would like it better if you wore his hoodie instead. He loves how you get a little shy by his bold demand but still agree, immediately taking off Jun’s hoodie and putting on the one Joshua is handing you. He will be so touchy the whole day, making it even more obvious that he wants you to be his. 
MOON JUNHUI
He’s so fucking smooth about it. Jun doesn’t want to see you wearing Soonyoung’s hoodie, even if he’s your best friend, but he doesn’t wanna make it too obvious either. He wants to confess properly, not giving it away because he’s jealous. So he will tell you that the hoodie your friend gave you had a stain on it, and that you couldn’t wear it for when you will all go out after lunch. Jun so kindly offered one of his instead, discarding the other boy's clothes and giving you one of his hoodies.  He feels a little bad for Soonyoung for one second, and then you flash him your prettiest smile and he doesn’t even know what guilt is anymore. 
KWON SOONYOUNG
On the contrary, Soonyoung is so fucking obvious, it’s painful for everyone else watching. As soon as he saw you walking around in Wonwoo’s hoodie, he got pouty, refusing to talk to you. His argument ? It’s a betrayal to your friendship, regarding the fact that he’s your best friend and that Wonwoo is not. He’s such a baby about it, it’s cute. And Soonyong will keep crying about it until you finally give in and accept to take one of his sweaters instead. Except that he completely forgot to do his laundry and there is no more clean hoodie for you. It’s pretty comical to see his face fall and his pout return. 
JEON WONWOO
As I’ve already stated, Wonwoo is not a jealous person, especially over his crush that is not even his partner yet. So he will not try to absolutely get you to not wear Jihoon’s hoodie or come up with an excuse like the others, even if he would’ve preferred if you wore his, just so it could smell like you once you give it back. Next time though, he’ll be prepared, either with a spare hoodie, or by wearing an outfit that allows him to give you his hoodie without getting too cold. And to think that Wonwoo does this just for you makes you feel all giddy inside, and when you make sure to acknowledge and appreciate his efforts, it’s his turn to get a little shy and bashful (he’s so cute i’m dying). 
LEE JIHOON
I swear he’s stopping it before it even happens. He told you before going to take a spare hoodie or jacket with you because even if the weather was good, it would start to get colder soon. But as usual, you didn’t listen to him because it would’ve ruined your cute little outfit. Jihoon knew that you would end up complaining because you were cold, and that’s why he put on a hoodie himself - just so he could give it to you. But he wasn’t ready for how fast Seokmin offered to take his off and give it to you. But Jihoon is quicker and he is handing you his sweater before you even had the time to respond to his friend. We love a careful king like him.
LEE SEOKMIN
Another who’s a baby about it and so not subtle about it. He sees you laughing about how big Mingyu’s hoodie looks on you. And even though you’re not wrong, Seokmin knows that his sweaters would look big on you too, and that they would even suit you more because the colors he has match your style better than his friend’s. You can see how unhappy he is about the whole thing, and you take this opportunity to tease him a little. Seokmin would not even try to hide it, arguing that if you wanted to wear an oversized hoodie, you could’ve asked for his instead. He will only stop pouting when you agree to wear one of his. 
KIM MINGYU
This big bay is sulking, like you had just back-stabbed him. And it’s only because you’re always barging about how big and oversized hoodies are the best ones, and here you are, wearing one of Minghao’s when you could’ve asked Mingyu and it would have been even bigger. He’s not telling you anything though, even if it’s kinda obvious that he’s upset over something. The next time you’re asking Mingyu about his opinion on your outfit, he doesn’t remind you to bring a jacket with you only so he could hand you his sweater and watch you drown into the fabric. Bonus point if you give it back without washing it and it still has your perfume and scent on it. 
XU MINGHAO
Minghao would not say anything about the fact that you were currently wearing Seungkwan hoodie’s, but he would still give his member a kind of side eye when he comments on how well the piece of clothing suits you. During dinner, he will unfortunately drop some food on the sweater. Oh no ! But don’t worry, he will give you one of his instead so you can stay warm. Minghao will ignore all night how Seungkwan is sulking and will simply smile at you when you say that his hoodie is very soft. It’s just feeling very right to see you walking around in his clothes, and he definitely wouldn’t mind seeing you wear them more.
BOO SEUNGKWAN
He’s not having it, like at all. Especially since he’s very obvious about his crush on you around his members, and that they all know how much he loves you, he doesn’t like the fact that you’re wearing Hansol’s clothes. Seungkwan is not even really jealous, he’s only mad at his friend for doing this even though he knows everything. He’s giving deadly glares to Hansol all day, as if he really wanted to kill him for handing you his hoodie. He knows that he’s only doing this to tease him, but still. When you ask Seungkwan what’s wrong, he’s only telling you that he’s in a bad mood. But from now on, he will jump in before anyone else if you ever need a hoodie. 
CHWE HANSOL
Nobody knows about Hansol’s crush on you, because it is no one else’s business. So he can’t be upset at Chan for giving you his hoodie because you were cold, he just wished he was quicker and gave you his. And it even feels strange that you accepted his friend’s clothing, because Hansol had told you countless times that you could borrow anything from his room, even when he was not there. Later on, he will ask you why you were wearing Chan’s hoodie, thinking that his approach was casual (even when it’s really not). When you explained that you just didn’t want to make him feel bad when he offered, Hansol simply nodded. But his cheeks quickly turned red when you admitted prefering to wear his sweater. 
LEE CHAN
Chan really tries hard to not show his crush on you, but the way he looks at you is not as subtle as he thinks and everyone has understood what was going on, even you. Hence why you’re wearing one of Seungcheol hoodie’s right now. Yes, Chan is kinda obvious, but you still want to be 100% sure that he won’t reject you. And what better than jealousy ? Plus, he’s always making a point of giving you his clothes when you’re cold, so he doesn’t understand why you didn’t ask him this time. He’s pouting and sulking for sure, even complaining to his hyung about how he’s trying to steal his crush. Honestly, he’s just very cute and he’s being a baby. The only way to get him to smile again is by agreeing to take his hoodie instead. 
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-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my works.
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svt tagglist (fill in this to be added) :
@lil-kpopstan @hann1bee @iraisswiftie @bewoyewo @lichyuu
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angelltheninth · 7 hours
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Hi ! I’m not sure if you still take requests for CoD but if you don’t then feel free to ignore this! But if u do could I plz request/get your opinion on what it would be like cockwarming konig and ghost. Not at the same time, but like what each would do because reader is being needy (and maybe annoying) and they’re busy doing something for work but reader is just so impatient so they start to tease them or SOMETHINGG IDK,, I can’t stop thinking about it. Love your writing btw!
I'll never dtop writing for CoD don't worry.
Pairing: Simon "Ghost"Riley, König x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, cockwarming, size kink, clit stimulation, teasing, nipple play, overstimulation, neck kissing
A/N: Wanna highlight some of the differances between these two big men.
SIMON
Keep you still with his big arm but tells you to keep clenching around his cock. You're so tight around his dick and he didn't even do anything to you, he's just sitting there minding his own business. He won't touch your pussy no matter how much you beg, but he can touch you in other places. You feel him smile as he kisses hit the back of your neck, hot and intense but there's no sucking.
The only harder stimulation is that of his fingers pinching your stiff nipples and then pushing his fingers into your mouth to make them wet, slowly tracing them back to your breasts. It's enough to make you come, of course but it's not from what you wanted, it's not from him fucking his cock into you so you're not happy yet.
KÖNIG
You couldn't even keep your legs closed long enough for him to finish cleaning and putting his gun together. How are you so impatient, so needy, so wanting of a good hard fucking. This isn't exactly what you had in mind though, not him still cleaning his gun while pushing his cock deep into you, the tip right against your cervix while you grip the table for balance. Don't expect him to be nice this time.
One of his fingers is constantly rubbing your clit in small circles, tight and deliberate to keep you coming around his dick for as long as it takes him to finish his task, not easy when he has to take constant breaks. But this is what you signed up for when you wouldn't leave him alone, to be overstimulated almost to the point of passing out and crying.
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ilwonuu · 2 days
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emergency
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ song mingi
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༘⋆ pairing- established relationship, nonidol!mingi x fem!reader, softishdom!mingi x sub!reader
༘⋆ synopsis- you and your boyfriend have the best idea of what to do for 4/20.
༘⋆ warnings- high sex, riding, reader & mingi smoke a blunt, dirty talk, kissing, pet names, lazy sex, lmk what else<3
༘⋆ a/n- HAPPY 4/20 MLS 🍃 i wrote this while high lmfaoo i’m about to smoke some more and read fics (the best things ever) i hope everyone has a good day/night<3 also i hit 800 FOLLOWERS!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU. many fics soon<3 also this is my first time writing for mingi,,,
high sex with your boyfriend was your favorite tyle of sex. smoking a joint before crawling into bed with him. that’s exactly what you did tonight!! it’s 4/20 so of course you’re gonna smoke and having loving sex with your boyfriend. he happily agreed. you were seated on your boyfriends lap as you make out sloppily. his grip on your hips his tight as he lets out soft whines.
“can you ride me baby?” he breathes out into the kisses. “yea- i’m tired tho.” you say in between kisses as he smiles pulling away. “don’t worry i’ll help you.” you get off his lap and turn to see him sliding back against the headboard. you step out of your underwear being left in just your boyfriends t-shirt. you crawl onto the bed as you help him out of his boxers.
he grabs the lighter and the ash tray grabbing the have smoked joint in it. “let’s smoke some more? it’ll feel so good.” he smiles at you lighting the joint. “marry me.” you smile at him as you were gonna suggest the same thing. he pats his lap as he moves the ash tray to the side. he takes a hit of the joint as you get comfortable in his lap.
he passes the joint to you with a smile as his hands rest on your hips. you keep eye contact with him as you take a couple hits passing it back to him. he smiles taking it from you. he takes a couple more hips before putting it back into the ash tray, moving it back to the side table.
“come here- i need you.” he laughs pulling you closer to him. you are already tangled up in his arms, sitting in his lap. you raise your hips a little lining up his dick with your entrance. you slowly sink down as you pull him into a kiss. he whines into the kiss as you start to move your hips.
“you feel- ugh so good.” he sighs deeply as he helps you move your hips. you nod along with his words as grip his shoulders for support. “i missed you- love being this close.” you cry out. you moans are desperate and breathy. he groans at your sounds as he fucks his hips up slowly. “m-mingi- oh-“ you moan out loudly as your hands grip tighter against his shoulders.
“i love- y-you so much.” you cry out as you come undone. his moans turning more whiny and breathy as you ride through your high clenching around him. “shit- i love you more.” he kisses your neck. his low voice making you clench around him again. that’s all he needed to come inside you with a loud whine.
“just- just like that baby.” he throws his head back as you rock your hips to help him ride out his high. you kiss his lips with a smile as you pull off him. “want to smoke some more angel?”
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