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rreids · 2 days

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hey, i was wondering if you'd be able to write smth with Spencer in a relationship with someone with bpd? it's totally okay if you're not comfy with that, but I've just been suspecting i may have it, and ppl with bpd are always portrayed so negatively in relationships. it would be just rly nice to read ur take on how Spencer would handle that and just see some positive representation! (my mental health has also been shit so it would be p comforting lol) thank u 🫶

hi love 🫶 i don't know a ton about bpd, so i hope i did this justice! i researched the diagnosis and how healthy relationships help with regulation and in what ways they do (both accounts from experts and from those who are diagnosed). and i hope you feel better soon <3 it sucks when your mind fights against you.

PROMISES • S. REID X READER

reader has bpd (written by an author without, ideally will be comforting rather than hurtful. please let me know if it is offensive in any way); gn!reader; spencer has to break a small promise but makes others; talks of therapy; teasing; fluff; ~500 words

“Hey, sweetheart,” Spencer whispers into the phone, voice a little strained. “I’m really, really sorry, but I can’t make lunch today. We’re on the way to a case in Omaha. It’s a really bad one.”

Your heart sinks. “Oh.”

“You know I want to be there more than anything, right?” He’s shuffling papers in the background, and you know they’re in the middle of getting ready on the jet and that he’s still making time for you, but it still makes your mind race with worry and upset. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week. And I promise I’ll take you out as soon as we’re back.”

You frown, fiddling with the promise ring on your finger. “Will you still talk to me?”

Spencer chuckles. “I think I go insane when I go too long without hearing your voice. As long as you don’t mind calls when it’s two a.m. there, I’m calling before bed every night I have enough time.”

You sigh.

“I know, honey. When’s your next meeting with your therapist?”

“Tomorrow,” you mumble, gnawing on your lip.

“Well, you have permission to talk about how much I suck,” Spencer teases lightly. “As long as you know it’s not by choice that I’m being a bad boyfriend.”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“You’re the best boyfriend. You understand me.” He does. He’s looked into BPD extensively — he knows even more than you do, rattling off statistics, assumed causes and connections, coping methods, everything. He knows how to break you out of the spirals and to calm your impulsivities.

“You have other boyfriends?” Spencer sighs dramatically, and you laugh.

“Why would I have them? You’re more than enough.”

Spencer hums. “I am, aren’t I?”

You groan.

“I’m messing with you,” his voice is fond and soft. “I gotta hang up, everyone’s coming and we need all our focus on this case. Message me if you need anything. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t do anything,” you know you’re exaggerating, but it’s hard to stop the words.

“I do, just nothing out of our normal,” he’s nudging you gently, reminding you to think things through before acting impulsively. “I give you permission to watch our show without me if it’ll keep you entertained.”

You laugh. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll be good,” you draw it out.

Spencer snorts. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Spence.”

A beat.

“I’m not actually going to talk shit about you to my therapist, just so you know. I do talk about you though.”

And then you hang up.

He sends you a ‘???’ and a ‘I wanted to say something still.’ right after. When you tell him to say it, he sends a ‘Do what you need to feel regulated. I don’t take it to heart, you know I don’t.’

And he doesn’t. He’s so sweet, so achingly perfect, understanding of when your moods swing, or when you feel empty, or whenever anything changes and you can’t tell why.

And he always helps you down, kissing scars and tears and whispering praise as he gets you to feel right again.

#my works #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid scenario #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #requested

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sasaranurude · 2 days

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Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

#suchobabbles #Tokyo Debunker #it's a global simultaneous release so I'm curious to see how it ends up doing in Japan #it's gonna be competing directly with stellarium of the fragile star which releases in a few days lmao. and is about a magic alchemy school #looks like the two games twt accounts have a similar number of followers #and then theyre competing with bremai releasing in may...#also adding this at the very end since i cant confirm anything:#but i found out abt this game bc it was rt'd by the former localization director/translator of A3en #i dont know if she worked on it or maybe her friend or maybe shes just hype! who knows! but i think her word (or rt) is worth something

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thedragonqueen1998 · 3 days

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Today at work i got insanly inspired to write and once i got off work, i immidiently went on my phone to type it out. XD I just finished a 3 hour long writing ses(had a 15 minute food break in the middle). ^^ Probably just gonna forever gonna be a wip thing, but it was fun and i'm kinda proud of it. Despite it being rough in some parts, mostly because i wanted to rush to the 2nd half and i didn't wanna get stuck, i'm happy to share it. ^^

It's a kinda long, so i'm gonna add a Read more line to not fill your dash with text. Also, first time trying formatting out! XD

So, originally this post was just gonna be a "i actually wrote something! Look!" thing, just showing of some work i did, but after writing the reason why i wrote a line a certain way, it went into something very sad and kinda dark, so if you don't wanna read about death, a light mention of suicidal thought and grief... just stop after What even is my life.

Idk why i wrote it, but it took alot of effort and it feels... important to me, i guess. Part of processing and such. So, yeah. Read at your discretion. Thank you for your time. 💜

Ezio had many regrets in his long life. Not being there when his father and brothers were arrested. Of not being there more for his sister and mother. Of not trying to be together with Cristina. Not being able to save her. Or being able to save Uncle Mario and Monteriggioni. But biggest of all, not having spent more time with his family before the execution.

He had love, but didn't cherish it. Didn't truly feel it and took it for granted. But unlike so many others, Ezio could take those regrets and change them. Thanks to Desmond.

When he walked into the Library, he thought he might get an answer or two in return for many more. He truly didn't expect that calling out Desmonds name while the Apple bathed the walls in gold would result in it being answered by the being himself.

The being looked like a man, clad in a white light, eminating from a strange device under his right arm. His face looked like an exact replica of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad's face, though his build was closer to his. Broad shoulders hidden underneath a strange hooded white doublet and long legs wearing strange tight fitted pants made from a material he did not recognise. Even the scar was the same as his! Was Ezio made in the image of the one he was the Prophet for? Was Altaïr the herald? All questions Ezio wondered, but not knowing if Desmond was like Minerva or not, he dared not waste any questions if the beings patient was thin.

But first: "Are you Desmond?" He had to know, have it confirmed, even if the being appeared after the name was called.

"Ezio? Is this the Library? Am i seriously bleeding while dying!?" Desmond was looking around at the empty tomb, before his eyes returned upon Ezio.

"Yes, this is Altaïr's library. You are bleeding? I do not see any blood and you are dying!? Is there anything i can do to help you? Please, my lord. Tell me what i need to do to save you." Ezio was desperate to know his purpose and if all his life lead to this moment, where he could save Desmonds life, he would fulfill it.

"There's nothing you can do. I am dying semi willingly and even if this is some Animus infused death hallucination, it is nice having my last moments with you, even if your not really here. I am so sorry i couldn't answer any of your questions or try to save you from losing everything. You never deserved any of it. In the end it didn't really even matter. I am sorry you wasted your time chasing riddles and ghosts." He looked so grieve struck while saying it and the look Desmond had while gazing down onto Ezio could only be described as lovingly.

"What do you mean? Could you have saved my uncle!? My father and brothers!? Why didn't you if you do not think i deserved it! I have served the Brotherhood almost my entire life, sacrificed so much trying to find out what Minerva meant and now your telling me that it was all for nothing!? If you think i wasted my time then give it back!"

Desmonds eye's widen before softly smiling and saying: "Your right, you wasted your time and sacrificed too much for nothing. Let's change that."

Before Ezio knew it, the world went white and he knew nothing more.

—————

When Ezio awoke, it was to a bed he hadn't seen in almost 40 years. His childhood bed and his room. He couldn't believe it. He was given a second chance. To live his life. To right wrongs. To save his family! To think going to the Library would result in this!

At the thought of the Library, Ezio suddenly remembered Sofia. To have forgotten her and even abandoned her without a second thought left Ezio feeling guilty. Would she wait outside the Library before realising he would never come back? Or because he is now in the past, a past where he intends to change the future, would she never meet him? Never exist? The thought of her hurt, but like so many others, Ezio knew that him being in her life would have risked hers. Even if she knew and accepted it, it is still better if she never got the chance to know him and inevitibly suffer because of it. Same with Cristina. Though he could now choose her, he knew that despite the many mistakes in his life, the Brotherhood was not one of them and his refusal to properly let her go killed her. Letting that life affect her once again was too cruel. It was for the better to just let her go.

Federico nudged him with his elbow. "Brother, what has you thinking so hard you look like you bit into something bitter?"

"Nothing much, just wondering what i should get." Ezio smiled and laughed. He was currently out with his family on a trip the market. The last time around, he had decided to sneak off to spend some time with a girl he didn't even remember the name of anymore instead of spending time with his loved ones, to his great shame and regret. This was the last thing his family had done together outside of dinners before the execution in 3 days. That he missed out on it was one of his biggest regrets, but Desmond let him change it.

That Ezio might never truly understand or know what or who Desmond is, how he watched him in the Vault or even what Minerva's people and the Pieces of Eden truly were will forever haunt him, but the trade to see his family again and to even be able to save them is a fair trade. He can go his life wondering these questions and maybe try to find them now that he will have more time, thanks to already knowing the Templars plans and who will be an enemy or ally.

He felt a finger poke him inbetween his eyebrows.

"There you go again Brother. Thinking too hard! Be careful or you might hurt yourself." Federico teased before yelping and then laughing when Ezio pushed him.

"Please don't start fighting now sons." Their father said before turning back to the stall owner to continue discussing what wares to buy and the prices.

"Sorry Father!" Ezio said before giving his brother a teasing look that promised this was not over.

Ezio remembered this day well enough. Not to remember the woman he decided to chase, but enough to know that when his family had been at the market a horse had run wild there and according to Claudia, nearly trampled her down in the confusion.

He was a bit sceptical to believe it was as close as she had made it out to be, but he knew horses much better now than he did before. After years of riding them to and from places in the chase for his targets, he knew that having one running towards you in a blind panic could scare anyone. Even though he knew to be wary of them and treat them with respecy during his original childhood, he didn't truly get how these gentle beings could be as scary as his sister had made the poor creature out to be.

According to his family, it had been a war horse, bloodied, running around in a blind panic, probably scared from a skirmish. Being chased by guards hadn't helped and eventually the guards got a good shot at it and put it down.

Ezio wanted to save his sister years of fearing horses, so he kept an eye and a ear out for any signs that the animal was on it's way.

There. A scream. Everyone stopped and looked around for the source. The source was still hidden by the crowds, but in the distance you could start seeing people moving away from something coming this way and the screams were getting closer.

Ezio breathed and slipped into his Second Sight, the Eagle Vision, as he now knew Altaïr had called it. Or more accuratly, Eagle Sense. With the years, his constant use and need for it had changed his Sight. It had become much stronger, letting him see farther, expanded his hearing, to let him hear his enemies heartbeat and even know what moves they were going to make. Even let him know where his enemies was going to go on a patrol route.

It truly was a gift and now he would use it to try and predict where the animal would go, as to lead his sister and family away from the danger. Then he saw it. The shine of something important. Something that glowed as strongly as the Apple of Eden had. The horse.

There was much about his Gift he could not explain. He had tried, but it is much like explaining sight to a blind person. Why things he didn't even know about could glow gold and lead him to the answer. Why allies glowed blue and enemies red, nor how he could tell friend from foe and now. His Sight told him, with the same intuition as telling friend from foe, that this horse was Desmond.

How is Desmond here? Why? Did he lie about dying? Or was certain death only a large chance that Desmond beat? Ezio supposed it did not matter. If he lets events play as they had before, Desmond would be struck down by an arrow within minutes. Oh, maybe Desmond had tried to prevent his father and brothers demise, but was struck down in the attempt? Though, why choose to do it as a rampaging horse? Either way, Desmond was clearly panicking, almost upon him now. If Ezio could not calm him down, his death was guaranteed.

But how? Ezio has just seconds now to plan a way to stop him before he is trampled down.

Then, he finally realises, that among the bright gold he shines, he also glowes blue. Such a deep colour which he has only seen in the greatest friends or closest family and he knows, Desmond would never harm him. The look of pure love on Desmonds face made more sense now.

So Ezio decides to not move and simple raise up his hands, as if to pet the horse.

"EZIO!"

————

Desmond was in pain. He knew that Juno lied about his death being quick and painless, but god, why did it have to hurt so much!? During his hallucination, it wasn't nearly so bad! And can't forget the weird nightmare he's having ontop of it. He's a goddamned horse on some battlefield. He was rearing up when the nightmare started, neighing as his rider was shot and killed by an arrow.

There's so much blood. The smell strikes fear in his heart. There's so much red. He slips into Eagle Vision and there's even more red. Not a spec of blue. A sword slides against the armor he is wearing and the screech of metal is too much. He bolts.

He needs to run. Away from the monsters with sharp sticks. Away from the smell of blood and death. Away from the shadows hiding hunters. They follow him. They chase him for a long time.

He is getting so tired.

He needs to get back to the barn. His owner would make everything alright. He would croon soft noises he did not understand, but the tone was soft and gentle. He would give him a treat while brushing him down after a hard days work.

He did ride him into scary battles he did not understand, but afterwards he would wash and groom him extra thoroughly, while feeding him the best apples, crooning more sounds in a happy tone. He would repeat one of the few sounds he understood, which meant "him" and "pay attention to me".

Dante.

But he wasn't on his back anymore and he didn't hear his voice. Just the loud, scary noises of more men in the shiny hard thing. They had the pointy sticks too and tried to take the things dangling from his mouth. Only his owner can touch that! Only he is to be trusted with them.

Running is getting harder, there is large, straight hills in the way and the path is narrower with many strangers in it.

There is still so much red. He can still smell the blood, feel it clotting his fur. Too much red!

Blue.

Suddenly there's blue in front of him. He knows blue means ally. Though why and how this person is blue confuses him. But he is Blue and running him over is not good, but why is he standing there!? Does he not see the red!? Smell it!? Does he not understand we need to run!?

"Desmond"

That single word pierces the fog of fear and wild panic that has flooded Desmonds mind. Ezio is in front of him, hand already gripping the reigns while the other rests on his muzzle.

"There we go Desmond, everything is alright."

Desmond still feels phantom threads of fear, but with Ezio's calming blue glow and his voice saying gentle reassurances, it feels far away.

Now with his mind fully human and not driven by horse instincts or memories, the question becomes: How and why the fuck is he a horse in 15th century Italy with Ezio!?

What even is his life.

————

So, a couple parts i'm stupidly happy about is the "He had love, but didn't cherish it. Didn't truly feel it and took it for granted." part. This, as you can probably tell was inspired by the famous quote "When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it."

I believe Ezio didn't fully understand liberty until he tried to live a peaceful life with Sofia and realised he would always fear Templars taking revenge on his family and time, because the knowledge that he would never see his children grow up to adults had never been a concern before he met Sofia. He probably thought he wouldn't have a family at all.

But love. Love he would understand what he missed. He would understand it just days after he lost his father and brothers. Those moments you missed out on. Of opportunities to spend time that you squandered away. Time you will never get back, because in real life we don't have time travel.

And now i understand it. Before the end of the last year, i was like Ezio before the loss. Before i lost my grandparents only a few weeks apart.

Those opportunities to spend time was rare and thankfully i took most of them, but i still squandered it away by not actually spending time with them. I just visited and hid away in my room, wasting the time by sitting on the phone.

I will forever regret that because ny memory is shit and besides a few childhood ones, i have no memories of them. I still remember their voices, they were pretty distinct thankfully, but how long until i forget that.

It hurts and as someone who is afraid of death and it's finality, such a reminder that time and love is finite is soulcrushing. It is only recently that i have truly started to think of my grandparents and i guess try to process the fact they are gone forever.

When we first got the news that my grandpa had died, i was even more glued to my phone, not wanting to acknowledge what was happening. I also didn't wanna sleep and only got some when i passed out from exhaustion. We even went to the doctor to get time of work and some sleep medication i didn't dare end up taking.

I even had thoughts of just taking all the pills and just sleeping, to get away from the pain forever. But i'm thankfully too much of a coward, so it just stayed thoughts. I'm doing much better now and as i mentioned, i think i'm starting to process the fact that they are gone.

So, yeah. This post went in a direction i didn't expect. But it feels important and maybe in a few years i can look back at this post and see a snapshot of who i was and reflect on who i am now. So, here's to the future me and anyone else who needs to hear it:

I hope things are going well and if they're not... well, things get better. They always do. You're loved and even if your loved ones are gone, they live on in you. You will carry that love with you, for the rest of your life. 💜

#personal #personal thoughts #dealing with grief #tw grief #tw grieving #tw suicidal thoughts

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totally-not-a-tickle-blog · 3 days

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Hi can I infodump about Roy and my interpretation w/ him when it comes to coping mechanism regards sexual abuse to you?

Click here to allow me 👇 (long text)

To be honest I don't think he'll leave the more ""stereotypical"" type of victim bubble since 1- He's not a big focus in the show and 2- It's quite complicated and I don't know if Sr Pelo and the team would go that deep, but I like to overanalyze things. With that being said:

It feels off for me when he's shown as easily affected whenever his uncle is mentioned. I personally don't see it as HIM.

It's vague and anyone can see it whatever they like, it's 100% fine, but Roy is just... stubborn and ignorant. Those are two of his biggest traits and it's impossible for it not to affect how he deals with that trauma; he already has to deal with arrogant parents (mostly mother), not being himself even if he wants to (what pretty much hurts his natural ego), so being aware that even ANOTHER member of your family took advantage of you in even worst ways is basically a shot straight to the head. He's fighting something already and he'll definitely be in denial with a second one, not to mention that if people actually began to act all "soft" after finding that out IT'D MAKE THINGS WORSE.

It's literally the same as going to someone who wants to be seen as superior and mock him by treating them like a baby. It'll just make him try harder and harder to be taken seriously, including trying to ignore the trauma more and more.

And to be honest, even if he told his parents he'd stay in denial. Carmen and Richard are questionable parents but they're not monsters like some people think they are, they'd offer help and ask him what they want and need to know, but it changes nothing on how they treated him before nor his personality will suddenly change. I also have a lot to talk about his relationship with his parents, but that's for another one if I feel like it.

Now coming back to the beginning, when I mention that he doesn't get triggered when his uncle is the topic, I see it like that because his mind couldn't properly see the uncle as an enemy. He knows that what happened is wrong and that he's an asshole, but I'm talking about something more personal. A poor example for the sensation itself: You eat in a restaurant, and weeks later you find out that the waiter spit in your food. Will you come back? No. Are you also full MAD at him? Also no. You got angry in the first moments, sometimes still do, but you didn't even saw anything wrong with your food back then. You recognized it, but your brain didn't.

Now, when it's the sexual abuse itself, it affects him way more mostly because it makes him feel stupid, paranoid and dare I say disgusted maybe. I admit, that part is mostly me projecting, but it still makes sense in a way. It's more of a internal change instead of an external one (are those the right words?), since the consequences isn't as obvious and explicit if you did recognized the scene as a trauma at the time. You may not be against physical touch, but you may struggle interacting nicely afraid that you'll mess up again. I hope I didn't messed up on that part, or any at all--

ALRIGHT, briefly, Roy don't want sympathy, but he needs empathy, just like his friends are doing. They know what Roy goes through and still won't let him do whatever he wants, don't try babysitting him nor desperately tries to search for help right away like that. He's focused on his parents and can't handle even more trauma right now, and if he does start to try helping himself it'll be when he's older and don't have as much ego as he does now.

Ty for reading and I am SO SO sorry if I said anything shitty, sexual abuse is a topic that I always had some sort of interest on (studying and talking about), so I tend to think about it a lot specially when a hyperfixation is included.

EDIT: Just wanted to add that Roy's anger issues are also a nice response to everything I just said (nice in a "it connects" way, not good), someone as low-tempered as himself wouldn't be able to handle with the pressure of "You need to vent" without "exploding", thinking that his abuse consequently made him weaker and less worth of respect; "That shit just makes everything worse, so it's easier if I just ignore it!"

#I have so many things about him that I wanna talk about but idk if anyone would care #spooky month #spooky month roy #sm roy #S/A #sexualabuse #infodump

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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landing

#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to #include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap #smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied #to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh #yyh #yu yu hakusho #yukina #hiei #skrunkart #also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip #anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs #anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more #would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand #enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do #edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia #but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one #WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW #ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY #also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it

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catastrxblues · 8 months

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hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

#bridge to terabithia #how am i supposed to recover #i wasn’t planning to write a paragraph about it but yeah i kinda love this movie i guess #i needed a good cry and the universe didn’t stop me from choosing this movie i don’t know if that’s nice or simply mean #i was going to watch la la land after this but that’s not gonna happen now #i’m not reading back what i wrote otherwise i would just delete it because i’d think this movie deserves better more coherent thoughts #and i’d say that i’d just rewrite it tomorrow but then i wouldn’t #because nothing would ever beat the “everything i create has to be great or nothing” in me #and i never am proud of what i made unless it’s supposedly only for my viewing #so i actually don’t know if what i just wrote make sense but yeah #my eyes feel so weird right now #also the ending was definitely up to interpretations!! (spoiler alert* just in case)#i myself personally like to believe he dreamed up the last 30 minutes of it and didn’t even go to the museum #and so he’ll just wake up definitely shocked but then still find leslie in her house who was just about to meet him so they could go!!#and because the rope was cut off by the lightning from last night they decide to build the bridge so everyone could cross safe and sound!!#i like my ending better they really should change it #but no all and all the end was really beautiful #even though it took me maybe even an hour to get through it because i keep sobbing and have to repeat over and over to hear what they said #yeah okay anyways sorry for the rant<3 #i’m not sure what this is #but glad i could get it off my chest #let’s see how to tag how to tag #movies #just #childhood #whatever <3 #nadirants

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service

(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?

#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect #based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop #saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which #is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because #you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy #i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane #and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a #knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one #when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid #so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from #nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and #beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees #to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and #nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the #gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes #other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to #walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and #eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when #he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a #girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever #kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to #find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus #like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy #when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate #ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition #because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would #give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a #shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...

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shopcat · 1 year

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i do honestly think that like. the reason steve's torture scene is so undercut is because it is a torture scene. like they didn't WANT it to be hit heavily they didn't want to have to cut between relatively normal for the show scenarios back to steve and robin locked in an unreachable facility getting beaten and drugged and about to get their fingernails ripped off with the knowledge that in the end unless they're saved they're going to die. Because that is deeply tragic. so they have to make the jokes and make it lighter than it seems not only because the plot needs it but like the AUDIENCE needs it and the CHARACTERS need it... like yes the show does not take so many character's real life suffering seriously because for some reason lasting effects and trauma only exist to be taken advantage of by the plot or if you're the billed star or something but steve also in canon is the one who didn't let himself BE A Guy Who Was Just Tortured. he was a guy who was just beat up a little. and like they're scared but they're not too scared because they have to have hope because they are two people who have never had to rely on hope before in order to survive...

but also!! tbh i can't. help but think how much of a critical hit gut wrench it would've been if they had decided to commit to the darker theme of it and how it juxtaposes against the whole Bright Neon Light Palm Fronds And 80s Pop and how 30 minutes later they're standing among a group of children and no one even realises anything is out of the ordinary i think it would've accessed an actual emotional impact and depth the duffers seem to stumble upon by accident and never of their own volition </3 to cut from the concurrently running scenes to an 18 year old boy we know is completely innocent and completely telling the truth that he was just in the wrong place and didn't realise how serious it all was who was getting tortured and it be something serious. and his 17 year old coworker who just had to listen to it all to the point where she thought they dragged his dead body in to lay next to her. and in a way it's somehow MORE tragic which was not their intention at all that it was so lightly handled even though we the audience know it's somethings deeply upsetting it all just gets washed away in the face of Life goes on even on tv... sigh.

#🍦#anyway #also unrelated i saw a post abt like someone commenting on the entire insane patriotism and the red scare stuff and maybeppl just commented #at the time THEY DID trust me.... it is one of the biggest criticisms of the show itself and a lot of people actually hated s3 bc of it 😭#well like. me too. not that i'd seen it at the time i just remember eveurhing being like . said #anyway the way this show handles trauma actually gives me a headache lol #bc it's purely on case by case and yeah i know they can't just handle everyone's particular traumas but ugh. well you know what im saying #i think if they acknowledged the things that happened to steve they would also have to acknowledge it was never intended to have gravity #it can't be abandonment if there was never intention it can't be something they missed bc they don't see the something #he will get beaten every single season (barring the first) with no repercussion bc his like #humanity is not a right he is just some guy. it would also lose all the comedy to it that was established for 4 seasons #like oh it's not funny anymore and he's not the fun guy anymore because it's sad and that's not FAIR i don't think #bc trauma doesn't change everything about you and shouldn't change people's perception of you that's . fucked #and i think it's wild a show that attempts multiple times to go OVER these traumas will only ever land it sloppily bc i don't believe #they're doing it well intentionedly LOL it's for plot which is well fine it's a narrative but it means when it #lacks it's upsetting instead of the writing just being bad too #anyway... tangent . that also applies to like nancy and jonathan and stuff too . lucas and erica in s5 i imagine as well #though i shouldn't predict failure bc that's not very nice. to the characters .I just hate those men so much tbh tbh #sts

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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year

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lots of hard parts about getting older but I do think i’m getting prettier.

#Dare I ????????#actually yes I do.#I’m just more comfortable in my skin and also I dress better and take better care of myself and also don’t wear clothes I hate anymore #bc I don’t know what else to wear #when I was younger I used to hope and pray that everything I hated about my appearance would change and it hasn’t #but my attitude towards it has. and I see it as part of the bigger picture now. the bigger picture of me #and it’s a very warm one. i have a very nice and interesting and powerful physical presence tbh #teaching has made me very aware of it #a little non-self-deprecation as I grade all these essays thanks for listening #I think it’s also that I no longer look at other people and think ‘I should look like that’#Especially celebrities. Like. That kind of beauty has become so uninteresting to me and my own whole package self has become so much more #interesting as I understand it better and myself better #and then that comfort with myself results in people responding to me with appreciation and surprise sometimes #which tells me that it’s real and it’s just. It’s a nice thing #I am rambling #but yeah.

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came-out-of-the-coffin-desisted · 1 year

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my haaaaaands are still fucked uuuuuup but when they’re unfucked up i’m gonna draw smth so sexy and delicious for my new skyrim oc i can see the comp in my mind’s eye it’d just make my hands fall off if i tried to draw it

#he’s a liiiiiiitle bit of a serial killer so i’m envisioning him in like a white gown/robe with his hair up like in fucking. ella enchanted #in the garden with caryalind thallery but the knife behind his back is just coated in blood and there’s a pile of bodies behind him that we #can see but cary can’t see. i LOVE cary btw if you haven’t tried him as a follower highly highly recommend #vaynis is a character i didn’t think i’d get all that attached to i just wanted to try out the ancient falmer mod and then i got like. SO #attached to him immediately. he’s not actually an ancient falmer he’s just like. a non betrayed falmer who’s 23. his dad was like the #ultimate ‘i survive everything bc i’m good at hiding’ kinda guy who was a child when the snow prince died and he just fucked off into the #jerall mountains for forever basically. and another falmer (much younger) stumbled on him up there and was like ‘dude wtf if you have #immortality magic why do you live in a wizard shack in the mountains’ and he was like ‘well. i’m wicked scared all the time you see’#so in exchange for teaching her the immortality spell he was like ‘will you have a baby with me so the falmer don’t die out’ and she was #like ‘yeah ok but i’m not raising this fucking baby. i’m leaving i’m not a mom. you won’t make me a mom’ and he was like ‘yeah sure ok’#secretly thinking if he built her a tower she’d stay. so every day he’d build the tower bit by bit with magic and everyday she’d plan to #leave and like in a fairytale they had the ‘i’m going to leave’ ‘i know’ conversation but then vaynis was born and she actually DID leave bc #she wasn’t a mom! she told him that! but he was like shocked bc he was a moron. and so he locked vaynis in his wizard tower and only let him #out to teach him how to hunt and track and forage. and vaynis really wanted to see the world but his dad would never change. so he planned #to leave and he picked himself out a nice breton adventurer to seduce into taking him along only when his dad found out he killed the breton #and locked vaynis back in the tower. and vaynis waited and watched and planned and pretended like he was sorry. and then one day he #knifed him in his sleep. and took his shit and escaped. but auriel wasn’t super happy about that so he shipwrecked him. and ever since theb #vaynis has been pretty pathetic. he’s working on it but like. it really is kinda embarassing to watch. anyway his new scheme for glory is to #join the thalmor and he IS really pretty so this thalmor agent in solitude was like ‘hey the heir to the aldmeri dominion is also here and #we like. really need him back and with his head in the game. the nords are stupid they think you’re a altmer but like. i know a bitch whose #race is supposed to be extinct when i see one. you seduce caryalind thallery back into line and we’ll help you do whatever you wanna do to #restore the falmer. ideally it’s integrate with us.’ so vaynis obviously takes that fucking opportunity but problems arise bc caryalind #isn’t quite as seduceable as previously thought. yeah he’s flirty but he’s also looking for something serious and trying to become a better #person. so vaynis is on a journey of ‘get aldmeri prince to marry me and have his baby to achieve greatness’ when they stumble into helgen #after alduin attacks (bc as we all know i’m addicted to the ‘the prisoner dies and akatosh has to pick a new dragonborn’ narrative’ and he #) and akatosh picks vaynis honestly? to be funny. i love interpreting akatosh as a smartass it’s so funny to me #‘yeah there’s a whole world riding on this but like. wouldn’t it be kinda hilarious to see what happens?’#alternatively maybe akatosh and auriel are one in the same. you decide #anyway becoming the dragonborn really complicates this plan like. MOST severely

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indigodawns · 1 year

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#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery #S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD #luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends #also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that #and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting #bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism #and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they #don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!!#and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i #am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year #but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food #and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does)#i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions #and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school #like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise #anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in?#i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk #and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc #so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am #and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again #so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo #also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like #hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works #so here we are yes #<3

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ectoplasmer · 2 years

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current small detail i am obsessing over: thief king’s rings (that i somehow had never really noticed until recently >_<)

#like wow… nice hands you got there… would suck if someone were to try to hold them or something /s #no I’m currently fixating on the fact that he isn’t wearing anything on his ring finger #and like. very complicated thought process but of course my brain goes to the idea of marriage because have you *met* me.#like i still have a few years of schooling left and then i have college and stuff to worry about #marriage can come later because if i’m gonna tie the knot or whatever even with a fictional character i want it to be serious and genuine #but also. just. here i go again being like ‘these characters are different from the other ones i’ve been attached to’#(and they definitely are someway somehow. i don’t know what it is about card games but they’ve changed everything apparently)#because?? honestly??? i didn’t really care much for the idea of marriage. like i was completely chill with the idea of just dating someone-#-and leaving it at that. there wasn’t really anything ‘special’ about marriage to me when i was already satisfied with how things were #it felt more like a hassle than anything lol #but now it’s like… i don’t know. i feel different about it?? like i actually kind of want to get around to that at some point??#i’m not really sure how to explain it #i won’t say it’s the ‘we are now together by law’ only because my f/os are prone to breaking the law (and/or regulations in general)#i just. hmmmm.#maybe it’s for the same reason i didn’t really care about it in the first place #we get to spend the rest of our lives together regardless. so what does it matter if we keep things as they are now-#-or take it to the next level??#i really shouldn’t be worrying about this since again i have a good few years before i need to think about this #but. uh. yeah ignore me #anyway i think the rings look neat #i think most of the things he wears are actually neat if not a little nonfunctional #ex: those weird like?? ring things on his legs??? what even are those #pretty sure those are only shown like once so i guess it doesn’t matter but xP #anyway hi i’m half awake but i’m still vibing #rainy.file #a thief after my own heart

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01tsubomi · 2 years

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i. guess the reason i watched so much trashy anime in high school was bc i watched so much anime in the first place. and if you wanna watch shows about high schoolers then eventually you’re gonna have to watch the trashy stuff (not to mention i like girls sooooo so so much). but i wanted to watch something romance-y and rompy so i’m watching rent-a-girlfriend bc i’ve heard good things abt it being fun and an interesting look at relationships and pretending and satisfaction etc and i’ll give it and my high school self credit in that this is super fun. unfortunately though so far any interesting commentary it could be giving through all the different times of girls in its cast is super overshadowed by how badly it wants you to hate every single girl except the main one

#i also just read jessica jung's second book the other day and the first one was questionable but this one was literally just the story #of how she got booted out of girls generation with like changed names #literally 10000% undeniably just her telling her story in a really one-sided way where you're supposed to hate everyone but her #and i hate to brush it off like that bc i'm sure some of the stuff she puts her self insert through happened and that does suck #management turning their back on her and everything #but the girls who are so obviously supposed to be the rest of snsd in the book are not given any forgiveness or any grace or agency #literally they're just flat and mean and jealous of how the protag can't do anything but win #so you come out of it feeling like you know what jessica the only person you're making me resent here is you #bc there's no way a situation could be that black and white and there's no way that 8 real people could be that flat and cruel with no #motivation at all #anyway i'm thinking abt that bc this show is also like really dead-set on making every other girl horrible so you'll like the main one #and the worst part is i love the main one! she's so male gaze-y but she's so likable and nice and she like has feelings and boundaries #only so much agency in a story like this but she does get at least some #the rest of the girls have to be like totally fake and cruel-hearted or obnoxiously unable to take a hint #and it's like dude we get it you don't actually like women. you could show it a little less #and then the story would be so much more interesting because you'd actually be talking about like people and emotions #instead of weird cardboard cutouts that are getting in the way of our main couple #i'm exaggerating a little bc i did watch bunny girl senpai as it aired and then rewatched it last year #and that's also pretty trashy but it definitely cares about its girls more #so a step up from this. this one is fun though #personal

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softgrungeprophet · 2 years

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me: idk the infantilizing way fandom woobifies characters (like peter, for example) makes me uncomfortable esp. in the way it intersects with perceptions of a character’s class, neurodivergency, sexuality, gender etc.

also me: anyway flash thompson did nothing wrong

in all seriousness:

obviously i post much more in-depth about the reasons i feel various retcons have handled flash's character poorly, but sometimes i'm like Am I a Hypocrite? and the answer is no because i'm usually not trying to make flash into a softboy either so much as trying to marry multiple aspects of his character as they have appeared in the original early comics with some more recent aspects, while also making an executive decision that i disagree with the depiction of him as the schoolwide terror or the singlehanded life ruiner

cause i don't feel that accurately reflects what we had been shown for most of his character and it feels like it's mostly just used as a tool to make peter seem more helpless and ''relatable'' (by sanding off all of peter's edges) (which is not actually relatable for everyone, it turns out) or else used as a tool to make flash himself less humanized

ideally they should be roughly rivals though technically they can't be because peter could kill flash with his bare hands but like (and i’ve spoken about the rivalry dynamic at length before so i’ll be brief here) EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING they should be on equal footing imo. neither is afraid of the other and that's like... kind of the point, right?

one: that peter is not just the antisemitic stereotype of the jewish wimp and why his masculinity is actually very important in that context, but also two: how flash is mostly .... well. it's in his name. he's all flash and no substance (when it comes to being a threat, at least. obviously as a character/person he has a lot more substance than he lets on, exemplified by peter’s surprise at him reading poetry)

anyway these are things i genuinely think about a lot when i write but also like... Flash is amusingly one of the hardest characters for me to write despite how much thought i put into it (or maybe because of how much thought i put into it).

i spend a lot of time trying to balance his roughness and his softness cause they're both important but sometimes it's very difficult. peter is ironically much easier to write possibly because he's such a hater and i can relate to his anger and id so it comes to me faster whereas flash has a little more to untangle cause i don't want him to be TOO sweet because of the ways he has purposefully closed himself off, but i don't want him to be too hard either because he does have that softness to him even when he's angry. he's an inherently vulnerable character and it can be difficult to do that well. at least it is for me

the sweet spot really is getting that friendly/bitchy banter between them just perfect

#nadia rambles #nadia reads comics #the frenemies of it all...#also i think there's a deeply relatable aspect to flash and peter being rival-friends who are not very nice to each other but then #slowly maturing and realizing hey this fucking sucks actually and i would like to be gentler and more tender with you if that's okay #cause like yeah! being a teenager fucking sucks in a lot of ways and the 12-18 demographic is often really unkind to even their best friends #so growing out of that is a crucial aspect of growing up and re-forging your friendships in a less toxic and less destructive way because #you love your friends and you don't want that dynamic to be that way forever #and i think that is SO clear in flash and peter's relationship so when it's rewritten so that peter is terrified and flash is just a bad guy #i find that frustrating both because it doesn't lend itself to the dynamic changes in their relationship and their eventual closeness #and because it feels dishonest to the ways in which their relationship actively evolved and the ways in which IRL friendships do the same #a way of trying to scrub any messiness out that ultimately shoots itself in the foot cause why the fuck would they ever become #as close as they became in this scenario. it's a great example of a retcon that doesn't really fit into what it's retconning #imo at least #reasons i hate the ''flash showed up in middle school and ruined everything and stole peter's friends and terrorized the school'' takes #sorry cullen bunn i enjoyed many aspects of your agent venom run #but i really hated that one spider-man minicomic about flash being a terrible bully that he wrote prior to doing agent venom lmao #i don't even remember what title.... it wasn't very good in general lol #plus i didn't personally enjoy the flashback about him breaking that other character's arm for being gay cause like it said #i don't feel like he really was a schoolwide bully so it doesn't really fit to me personally #but also it felt kind of annoying to read about flash's sadman hours by using this gay brown dude as an emotional plot object lol #i didn't feel bad for flash at all in that issue like yeah you better feel guilty #but i also don't think in retrospect that the incident itself fit his character #but to each their own i guess

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