there's always this specific look in carmy's eyes when he looks at sydney like worry, but not in a bad way but it's as if he's thinking to himself 'how is she doing?' 'is she okay?' 'does she need anything?' like he doesn't outright say these things but you can see how he shows that simply by the way he looks at her. he cares for her deeply. honestly most of the time i don't think he even recognizes how much he glances at her whenever they're at close proximity it's like something he does unconsciously. like it's been a thing since s1 and even more so in s2... HE JUST KEEPS STARING AT HER WITH HIS BIG BLUE EYES.
the way the ericson group were at the outbreak just a bunch of troubled kids who made various mistakes or committed crimes and were judged by a system that punished and abandoned them instead of giving them the support and love they needed, are then nearly a decade later put into a situation where now they must judge a troubled child for the mistakes and crimes hes committed against them. and 5 to 3 vote them out 😭
i’m anxious as heck about interacting and engaging with any kind of ninerose content and content creator these days, as it is such a chore to scrutinize whoever is posting and sharing said content. and i’ve got to sift through every single blog using keywords just to make sure that it doesn’t come from neither an outright ten/rose/tentoo and ten(too)rose hater, nor from some so-called enjoyer who’ll surreptitiously partake in the daily rose/ten(too)rose bandwagon hate—which is rooted in sheer misogyny and hypocrisy. it sucks, man.
I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.
This blog is slowly turning into a thirst refuge of my 10 year late Solas/dai/solavellan obsession. While everyone is going wild over Bg3 (I haven't played yet) I can't get over a game from 2014!
Sorry to all my followers who still stick around as I go through this phase... Haha I'm suffering ( ; _ ;) #solavellanhell
tagged by the glorious @romirola for a dose of headcanon this evening - i'm very happy to oblige! as always you may consider this an open tag from me if you'd like to join in on the fun, and we'll do a few no-pressure tags too: @zozo-01 @halscafe @autisticempathydaemon @thicchaco @mr-laveau @penncilkid mind if i pick your brain for a bit?? 💕💕
rules: share 5 redactedverse headcanons you hold, plus 1 headcanon you're still working on!
hcs under the cut!
william and vincent may not actually be biologically related [EDITOR: insert ‘blood relatives’ joke here], but they look similar enough that people often think they are.
this is not so much a headcanon as just my refusal to accept canon, but gavin coalesced LONG before 1990 - it was actually somewhere around the mid-1700s, although he only chose the name ‘gavin’ for himself in approximately the mid-1900s, not long after the end of WW2.
gavin and vincent are very good friends - they get on extremely well, and the double dates with freelancer and lovely are legendary, for several reasons.
the prime and imperium universe are not entirely separate from each other - sometimes, they bleed into each other without anybody really realising. it’s nothing too serious - a strange feeling of deja vu, or a weird dream, or a turn of phrase that just feels… right.
as beings of emotion, demons don’t naturally express themselves physically, making facial expressions and body language very difficult for them to both interpret and perform accurately without a lot of practice. because they aren’t designed to have physical bodies, they lack an innate sense of outwardly expressing and responding to emotional stimuli.
(well, +1) gavin might never admit it out loud, but he secretly daydreams a lot about being able to transform freelancer into a demon like him. even though he knows it’s never been done before, and may not even be possible, he doesn’t ever want to be apart from them and he wants so much more time with them than their human lifespan could allow.
“Carm. Carmen.” Sydney chases his gaze, squeezing tight around the towel on his hand until he looks at her. “This needs stitches. Okay? This needs a doctor to put in stitches.”
He knows that. Fuck, he knows that.
Carmy squeezes his eyes shut. His hand throbs in time with his heartbeat.
“How?” he makes himself ask. Neither of them have a car here, most of the others have gone home, he doesn’t really want to bleed out on a train—
“Richie!”
Carmy cuts his hand. Luckily, Sydney and Richie are there to help.
For BTHB: stitches
you know i had a fun little vp idea i wanted to do for the cyberpunk anniversary but i haven't had the energy to even touch it recently so i'll just settle with saying that this game impacted me in ways i never thought it would when i first picked it up 3 years ago. i knew i would enjoy it, i had been looking forward to it for a long time, and despite a ~controversial~ launch, i had a fucking blast from day 1 (on ps4 no less). regardless of bugs and memes and public dunking, the story grabbed me like nothing else could at the time, and it reignited so much of my passion and motivation for art that i had lost in the clutches of mental illness and i'll always be grateful for that. it introduced me to so many wonderful people (some whom i carry very close to my heart), and maybe most personally surprising, it gave me an outlet to understand parts of myself that i had been too afraid to acknowledge for a long time, the courage to accept and embrace myself as non-binary, and allow myself to just BE without trying to convince myself i'm crazy. that's not what i expected from the get-go but it's been a really fun journey to be on ngl
as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd
decided to make a reel of my augmented reality artworks done over the past few months and MAN, it’s.......... suddenly hitting me just how absolutely nuts all of this is
six years ago, virtual reality was still firmly in the realm of science fiction. but now? not only is it real - but it’s possible to have a career working completely inside a virtual world where you have godlike controls over creation. (editing physics, light, gravity - and spawning things into existence on a whim? mind-mindbogglingly, this is somehow just my average workday)
I regularly spend so much time in-headset that it’s started re-wiring my brain; I think of landscapes and buildings as potential canvases for 3D digital artworks, and I sometimes struggle to differentiate virtual objects from reality. (I’ve tried to place real objects on virtual tables, and I instinctively step over/around virtual objects because of how REAL they appear and behave.)
our brains work by building a picture of reality via our sensory input, but what happens when that input is completely virtual? virtual reality is showing us that not only are our brains easily tricked, but that this is already happening even with the technology in its infancy. people using avatars with full-body tracking report ‘phantom sense’ sensations to virtual touch, heat, and cold - and haptic gloves & suits are in development that blur the lines between realities even further.
what will a world look like where we interact with cyperspace as if it was real? where you can meet with anyone, anywhere, in a virtual world you can both touch, hear, and (probably someday) smell or even taste? where job training, 3d design, therapy, education, etc. are all revolutionized by XR in the same way personal computers revolutionized them already?
what does a future look like where we don’t interact with digital media through a screen?
I don’t have the answers, but I think change is encroaching rapidly upon us all - and I think it’s gonna hit us faster than any of us can realize.
this is the nichest post that no one will understand
absolutely nothing has made me get people wanting to be The Special Person for bakugo like watching season 8 of survivor and watching boston rob and amber fall in love