#I just need people to be straightforward with my stupid ass

[ov105]

Nighthawk

This took a lot longer to write, again, Though it just made the deadline for OEC’s (re)debut(?) so that counts as a win. Probably one of the more difficult ones to write for some reason, despite the simple premise. Maybe I’m just a bit burnt out, so I’m very glad it finished itself. Just on time, just on time...

2,125 words of Jeong Jinsol. Enjoy!

Seoul. Thursday. The banks of the Han were a reminder of an average existence. After filling ourselves to the brim with samgyeopsal and two bottles of soju, we were neither drunk nor fully sober. I didn't see doubles, nor was she, sans the headache, rubbing the side of my forehead, and maybe the more sluggish pace of walking. Time also seemed to go by quickly but much slower if it indicated being genuinely drunk. Steering clear of needing hangover drinks when we brought our snacks. We just laid out our jackets, having not needed to use them with how humid it was, instead using them in unorthodox employment.

So we sat far from the populated spots where many people were, but not exactly secluded to become another statistic; A trough alongside the usual path, not too steep for anybody with a mat to lay down on. Fingers jammed halfway deep in a snack bag of whatever flavor to wash out the taste of alcohol, chatting about what looking far along the breadth of the Han gave us to talk about.

In any case, it was a proper waste of time for either of us. 

One thing she had a knack for when she was intoxicated—doing something stupid. Chuckling at the mention of me not wanting to venture into the woods at night, she asked. 

"Hey, wanna go into those?" 

Jinsol, with a naughty smile, pointed to the grove, a small one that an elevated highway passed above through. 

"You're not gonna find anything there," I asked. 

"I know." 

Moving closer, she reached for something, placing her hand on my thigh. Her breathing slowed, and her eyes, looking around, signaled a pursuit, a need for pleasure, so much for treasure hunting, as she leaned closer. I did the same and kissed her, so much as an agreement, her hand slipping between my thighs. Mine came to her neck and slid into her shirt, groping her as she deepened her kiss before sliding it out and pulling her by her thighs, making her slide closer as she grabbed my crotch, with my hands squeezing at her tits. Tucking our hands away when we thought we heard a bike coming, she told me. 

"Fuck, now I want to go home."

I didn't want to wait for home. Jinsol did too. It was too late now. Though nobody wanted to say it first, I remembered the grove she wanted to go to. One glance and the bushes and tree trunks seemed thick enough to hide behind. 

"Psst, wanna do a quickie over there?" 

"Do you?"

I just huffed and stood up, walking up the crest and not more than five steps later. 

"Ya, wait up."

Briskly matching my pace, she grabbed onto my shoulders. I was looking around, trying to be confident in our quick hideaway. I told her to dart into the brush, following as I broke into a jog and charged behind the bush.

Quickly finding a tree, she pushed me up against it, putting her lips on me again though now with much the same shamelessness she displayed in the bedroom. Barely seeing anything, it was a guessing game of touch, rummaging amongst ourselves. Our hands found their way on our crotches again, lightly grabbing where we could as we aroused ourselves. 

Though I was the one pushed, I knew where to touch Jinsol, feeling herself becoming much warmer as her flesh slid past my fingers—cursing myself for being unable to take off her shirt and suck on her nipples, which she always liked since I tugged at it so gently. My case was more straightforward. I liked the way they felt in my mouth. Not wanting to dwell on what couldn't be, I slid my hand out of her shirt and onto her ass, grabbing and squeezing it, and for the first time, she pulled away, shakily breathing as we reversed our positions.

Kissing deeper this time, I was already hardening on her grip, sliding her fingers along its length. Whispering into my ear as she teased me, though I tried not to be too distracted. Giving myself some reassurance that this would be worth it, I gave a few more smooches, pressing my fingers on her pussy, drawing a small circle, before pulling away, whispering. 

"Take your pants off."

Taking her hands off me, Jinsol did so, following after her zipper as now I pressed against her panties. Feeling her warmth through my fingers as her body relaxed, she sighed as her palm let go of my neck and landed on my shoulder. Pulling back, I saw where my lips were due next, putting them low on her neck as I sucked hard. Her jacket's collar always rose higher than where I struck. 

The only thing worth listening to by then was her to stifle her moans. Rubbing on her clit, damning foreplay as I just needed to get her wet. Thinking that was enough, I slipped into her panties, feeling her folds getting wet as I slid my finger over them, going through all the motions as I played to her tune. I closed my eyes as we kissed, letting our guard down as she writhed, her legs shaking, hips even bucking when I pressed my finger between her folds—all while trying to keep quiet and not give us away. I almost forgot we were supposed to be quick. But after one close brush with breaking our silence, I stopped. 

"Your turn?" Jinsoul asked. 

"No need for that," I replied as I undid my zipper.

"Why's that?" 

Reaching her hand forward, she then slid it into my pants. Seeing her smile through the dark as she felt my stiff shaft waiting, that curious chuckle as she turned around and slid her panties down. I undid mine in turn, sliding my boxers off my cock. I knew what was in front of me. Every time, I simply couldn't help myself with her bare fat ass just left alone—slap!—Jinsol snapped her neck at me. Tsk! Shrugging, I put my hands on her hips and put my tip against that soft opening to push past. 

Deep breath, hips forward, I slide into Jinsol, clenching my ass as her tightness beckoned me further inside. Departing from the usual ruse de guerre of slow, short thrusts, I bucked my hips forward. I gritted my teeth, a wave of pleasure rolling me over. Seeing her turn her head as my second thrust made her whimper, the squelch of her walls making me stop for a second. 

Pressing my fingers in, I continued to thrust. If it was already difficult to keep herself hush earlier, it was near impossible now. Almost feeling Jinsol's weight shift as she began to shudder. Her legs shook, and I knew I could stay still, but she was always easy to take down with a few thrusts. Feeling so much tighter with her legs closed that it felt like I was pushing with my hip, not just merely thrusting. 

"Fuck," she huffed, mouthing a cuss I couldn't make out, following with a muted order. 

"Deeper." 

Then I remembered how I was fucking her. She wasn't bent down all the way, sliding a palm forward and pressing just below her tummy as I complied. That did the trick. She slipped a moan between her lips, shooting back at me as she put her fingers over it. Unfortunately, my eyes failed to catch hers, but I felt her stare all the same. I just knew the look on her face as I grabbed her ass and kept going.

By now, if we'd taken our time, she would've been moaning loudly, making a mess on the sheets, and starting to talk it up until she'd cum. I was losing myself inside her, as I always did. Watching myself plunge into the deep warmth that left me wanting for more, leaving me throbbing, wanting every time I pulled. Velvety is how I always described it. The only thing not obscured was her fingers on the wood, which were a bit bent, and with her moaning earlier, I knew I was doing alright.

Pulling her a little closer to me, the shuffle of her steps gave me a better view of her ass, bouncing lightly even when my pace wasn't that fast, a perfect angle for us to lead things to the end. 

I just knew Jinsol's body enough by now. I should've, really, her slim torso that spread out onto her wide hips and plump ass. Giving me the leverage and pleasure we both wanted every time we fucked one another—never a one-time event—but always ending as a messy affair. She was tall enough, her legs long to wrap me around when she didn't want to let me go and always tighter when she closed her legs and squeezed me. Right now, it made for an easy fuck. 

"Faster."

She whispered. Keeping up with her as I tightened my grip and sped up, letting out another moan with how quickly I sped up, which until then, I thought she disliked. Listening to her, she was whimpering and biting her lip as she moaned through her teeth. Picturing her face, that lewd expression of her eyes shut, her breath shaking, and her lips doing all they could to keep her quiet. 

Being almost bent flat, she had put herself in a tough spot. There was no bed to plop her face down on, no pillows to scream or moan into, nor four walls to bounce back whatever expression of moan she had in her throat. She was on her own, out in public, being fucked, ever closer to orgasm behind a tree, forced to keep quiet as an echo spelled doom. What was constant, however, was that she was being railed deep.

Feeling her legs weaken, I needed to turn it up just by a notch. The sliding action of her wet pussy grinding against my shaft lets me know we're close. So I pushed her forward with my hips, telling her to raise where her hand had been as my left hand slipped back into her shirt, grabbing me by my wrists as I sped up, with shorter and quicker thrusts as I twitched. Returning to the closer position we had been when we started. Stopping to catch my breath, I leaned in and whispered. 

"You're close?"

Jinsol was too tired to talk, nodding as she leaned to kiss me.

"You too?"

I nodded in reply before starting to move again. Hearing a whine as Jinsol turned her head away, I felt that numbing sensation, a tensioned string, build within my hips, my shaft becoming as sensitive as hers. Giving it my all, I thrust where she shuddered the most, repeatedly rubbing the spot as it did with me, biting my lip as I was becoming overrun by my orgasm. Gripping her harder as she was beginning to tighten around me, threatening to squeeze me before her, moans rising in pitch, legs becoming weaker as she tried to stand and keep herself shushed with whatever she had left. A breathy voice came from Jinsol, near inaudible, though I knew what it meant.

So then again, sex was never the same twice with Jinsol.

Going first, she suddenly tightened, throwing her ass back with a jiggle onto my crotch as she spilled over herself. At the same time, thrusting her forward as I came, spilling freely into Jinsol as the first shot deep inside, with it the only moan from me, releasing a load that had been waiting for a while so freely and without as much regret. We reduced into squirming bodies holding each other as we finished. Both of us had little idea of how quick, or if we were even fast enough, inside the grove—collapsing into an embrace as we caught our breath. Sharing a kiss with me, she always had something to say. 

"That was nice." 

I couldn't think of a reply, dead tired, so I kissed her. 

Pulling out of her, my cum spilled, both of us giggling as it dripped out onto the grass. She could not wipe it. The tissues were back in our makeshift blanket, so thinking she'd spilled enough, she pulled her underwear back up while I fixed myself. But the sweat on our foreheads didn't hide anything, though that was much easier to write off. Sneaking back into the path, two scans of the horizon lent us nothing. We walked back with hands linked as we sat down, wiped ourselves off, and grabbed whatever drink we had.

I wasn't even two sips in when Jinsol stepped in.

"So, another round at your place?"

Always more than twice, but never once.

#kpop smut #artms jinsoul #artms #jeong jinsol #jinsoul #smut #loona oec #artms oec #loona jinsoul

[luvscr]

price, ghost and alejandro reacting to m!reader's sh scars (hcs)

cw/tags: depression, sh, scars, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff fluff fluff, probably ooc characters but idc🫶

apologies for any grammatical erros!

long ass note:

so i got this request which i won't be showing in case it might trigger someone nor will i tag the person who requested this bc im not sure if he would be comfortable with it. i've never written about sh hurt comfort before, simply because i didn't feel like i could do justice for the comfort part but i tried my best and tried to make it not so triggering. your media consumption is your own responsibility, please proceed carefully and do not read if you're not in the right mindset. if you're struggling, i know it's hard but please reach out to a loved one or even me. you're not alone, you matter.

—

price:

it was purely on accident that he saw your scars. he wouldn't mention it to you but he would ask around, people you interact with if they've heard or seen anything. when they asked questions he would simply shut them down or use his rank and pull the "classified information" card. he wouldn't really know what to do, given he's your superior so it was kind of his responsibility, so he got in touch with kate to help him find a therapist. his first instinct is to get professional help if needed. he would invite you to his office so it's just the two of you and make you comfortable, even make you a cup of tea. he would approach the topic carefully and wouldn't force you to tell anything you didn't want to, reassure you that he's not upset, he just wants to help. if you refuse to get a therapist it's okay, he completely understands and will offer you to talk to him instead. he may come off as stern sometimes but it's just because he genuinely cares so much about you and is worried constantly, no matter how old the scars are. he would try to think of alternatives for you to put that energy into if you still struggle and would be there anytime to comfort you. he kinda acts like a dad (like w everyone bruh)

—

ghost:

oh sweet lord this man. he kind of had a feeling when he noticed that even in the hottest weather you only wore long sleeved clothes. he would notice them when your sleeve and the somewhat shorts you had on accidentally rolled up. you just ignored his eyes burning holes through you, given it was normal for him to just stare menacingly at anyone. (not on purpose tho he just looks mean by default) i wouldn't say it would trigger him, but it would definitely stir up some unpleasant feelings inside of him because of his past. he knows exactly how you feel and wants to help you, no matter if you're a friend or just some rando at the base. just like price he would approach the subject carefully, knowing well how hard it is to reach out for help and how it's even harder to open up and actually talk about it. he isn't the best at comforting but he's is a damn good listener and he'll let you know that if you need him don't hesitate to talk to him even if it feels useless. will crack those stupid jokes of his to make you feel better lol tbh i feel like he would be the best kind of person to open up to because he relates so much, he completely understands the feeling of being ashamed of self-destructive activities and would be the sweetest during a relapse. would caress gently the older scars on your body if you allow him to :(<3

he strikes me as a very straightforward person bc of the graves scene. my dude just straight up told the cabrón to stfu (as he should!!) so based on this i think as soon as he sees he's all up in your business. of course not with the intention to make you uncomfortable but he just wants to make sure you're okay and is absolutely willing to help whether it's finding a therapist or just giving a shoulder to lean on. he values every single person in his life and would literally do anything for them and obviously you're no exception. ngl it would be kind of uncomfortable and awkward as you're not used to so much attention especially surrounding your mental health, but he just wants to do good and he's willing to do anything to help and i mean anything. you need a break from work? done. a hug? you don't even have to ask. he will do everything for you if you feel too drained to do even basic things such as cooking meals, helping you shower if you're comfortable with that and etc. basically becomes a househusband for you!

—

alejandro:

#cod x reader #cod #cod angst #cod fluff #cod x male reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #price x reader #price x you #alejandro x reader #alejandro x you #ghost x reader

[canyonkingdom]

you're all going to hell two

(chapter 2, part 2)

tw: $3lf-h@rm

"A suicide?"

Everyone was agape.

"We have confirmed Mickey's death as a suicide." Poli said, straightforward.

The townsfolk gathered around Time's Square, in shock by the announcement the rescue team had made.

"What?" Helly muttered, scanning the crowd's shocked faces. "Didn't Poli just say it was a murder-"

"Shut it."

Her voice.

The drive home was miserable.

Poke could feel the tension underlying in Bruner. His ugly feeling of remorse and shock, the guilt they both felt, it killed them deep inside. But it hurt Bruner more than it should.

Bruner tried to stop tears. "Good riddance, you know?"

Poke's eyebrows furrowed.

"One moment I was bitching about him and... what if we didn't watch him die?"

Poke wanted to punch him so bad. The realization only hit Bruner when the deed was done. Yet it was more,

evidence against the rescue team.

"If we left, we can't give Mickey justice." Poke gestured sadly.

Bruner hissed.

"Why would they lie?" Poke gestured to Bruner, who was too focused on the road and his bitterness.

"Amber killed Mickey. What the hell would you expect them to do? Admit their crimes?" Bruner griped, though he felt little remorse. The car picked up in speed.

Poke immediately regretted what he did. He looked away from Bruner, sadly eyeing the washed out grays and blues that formed Broomstown.

"They need to learn the truth, Bruner." Poke suddenly alluded, his hands shaky.

"We're gonna get- I'M gonna get outcasted!" Bruner shouted, the pain in his voice seething. "Do you really think they would believe two fucking construction workers over the most respected people in town? Of course not! Everyone knows they are all too nice to commit a crime!"

Poke winced. "But Mickey won't get justice-"

"Justice, my ass!" Bruner berated, the car was zooming. "If only that bitch didn't follow us, if only he didn't act out, if only he wasn't drunk, he would be fucking alive right now!" his voice cracked, "If only we tried to save him, if only we-" tears spilled, "If we weren't- if I wasn't- if I didn't do that, he would still be-"

The car was now moving around intensely. It took Poke's hands for Bruner not to drive them into heaven.

"I- i'm sorry." The car stopped in front of their apartment.

"Calm down." Poke gestured caringly, "Let's talk about it inside."

"This isn't what we talked about at all!"

Roy's loud, angry voice echoed through the room. Amber was blank.

"We're gonna say it was a murder, Roy." Amber argued, hurt in her voice.

"They're grown adults! They won't cry about it like what you expect them to do!" Roy jeered back, his metal hand slamming on the table. Amber winced. "This isn't a fucking-" "Language." Poli interrupted blatantly. "And Amber has a point. The townsfolk are all idiots. Even if we do tell them it's a murder, they would immediately forget about it and move on with their lives. Saying it was a suicide just has a less probability of any investigation."

Roy seethed. "No, man. You don't get it-"

"I do get it, Roy. They act stupid, we treat them stupid. Just deal with it."

Roy scoffed. "We shouldn't treat them like babies!" All the while, Helly watched uncomfortably. He wasn't used to everyone fighting and shouting at each other without a care for their feelings.

He stared down at the camera in his hands,

a picture of blood staining some bushes.

"That was crazy!" Cap preened, making a soft left turn. "Who knew it would be... like that..." "That's bullshit, man." Posty muttered, looking over the backseat to see a completely distraught and terrified Cleany.

"I- I don't believe it..." Cleany sobbed. "He wouldn't..." "That's the point." Cap sighed. "As much as I want to believe he killed himself, there's no reason for him to. I bet my bank account it was probably that woman who killed Mickey. Her record fucking says it all."

The car drove uncomfortably. The atmosphere tightened.

"What about Spooky?"

Cap raised an eyebrow as he looked at Cleany. "What about him?"

"Did you forget already?" Posty whined, groaning pitifully. "Fucking idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, just tell me or i'll kick you out of this fucking car." Cap snared, rolling his eyes.

"Spooky saw Mickey get killed."

Silence.

"Oh yeah." Cap muddled.

Cleany shivered. "Would the rescue team just dismiss hi account like that?"

"I doubt it." Posty claimed. "But there is chance they could be-"

"Lying?" Cap continued, the horror in his voice unscathed.

Cleany was getting scared by the minute. "But- but why would they lie about-"

Posty hissed. "I'm next, am I?"

The other two froze from that statement.

"I was wrong?"

Camp was in utter shock. He leaned against the seat of the forklift as he collected his thoughts.

"Hey!" Lifty said, trying his hardest to lighten the mood. "It's ok to be in the wrong!" he smiled, yet Camp knew deep inside he felt in pain. "Just..."

"No," Camp said sadly. "It's fine."

Lifty kept driving stesdily despite his crashing mood. "What if the rescue team was lying?"

Camp never turned at someone so quickly. His jaw dropped.

"Why... why would you think that?" Camp scoffed.

"It's just weird, y'know?" Lifty's cheery voice reprimanded. "I know the rescue team won't lie about something so serious but... it just sounds weird. For someone like Mickey to kill himself."

Camp struggled to form the words. Yesterday Lifty was comtemplating the possibility of Mickey's death being a murder and making plans to harass Spooky (which, ironically, Camp followed). And now he was agreeing.

Camp definitely needed an ally.

"He's an asshole." Camp remembered his previous words. "It doesn't make sense."

"I know, right?" Lifty's obliviousness annoyed him deeply.

The two were silent for the whole ride.

Camp thought about it more and how they brushed off Spooky's account. The red lights sneers his mind like gas.

It wasn't a suicide.

Spooky felt like he was thrown under the bus.

"Wha- why?" his voice cracked, "They're lying. I saw it with my own eyes. They were lying!"

His fingers scratched deep in his scalp, to the point he drew blood. Spooky noticed his stained fingertips, yet he kept going, crying depressingly.

"I can't believe..."

He began to feel dizzy, the blood didn't fare much better.

I can't believe it.

nighttime

The headquarters was eerily quiet. Helly watched as everyone sulked on the matter. Amber was pissed at Roy, Poli was pissed at Roy, Roy was pissed with everybody.

One murder suicide can ruin lives.

Helly solemnly walked to his room, which was unsurprisingly taken up by the glowing light of the moon.

"Another day." Helly said bluntly. Normally he loathe going to bed, but after everything, he just wanted to forget that Mickey's death ever happened and live a happy life with his team—his family, once more.

But he felt terror.

He picked up the camera from his shelf and scrolled through the pictures again. The one with blood-stained bushes never ceased to scare and confuse him. Helly contemplated all the wrong reasons of this misconception.

He wanted to believe there was more than the eye can see.

Zooming into the picture, his eyes kept preening into more and more red liquid into the screen, wondering what actually happened.

As he plopped himself on the bed, he heard the crumpling of a paper. It caught him offguard and jumped off the bed.

"Huh?" He picked the paper up, revealing inky handwriting. Helly's interest perked up, terror striking mentally, as it read:

Spooky a witness, tho stupid, but ppl might beleive believe his ass, fucker

he should be gone he shouldn't know abt mickey

His eyes widened horribly.

Helly quickly grabbed his camera and quickly took a picture of the note before crumpling it up and throwing it behind the cabinets. His utter disgust was not a secret and he felt like screaming so loud he cluld break glass.

Of course, he was overreacting. But he could only pinpoint one person who would write such a thing. Who would do such a thing.

Her, ain't it?

Work has never been more miserable.

Bruner chucked in more bags of cement into the growing pile. His hands shaked as he turned the wheel. All he could think about was the rescue team's word. How they would blantantly plagiarize their own image as trustworthy.

"Dude, that's too much!" Dump chatisted from his vehicle. "Put some back in the pile."

How could they do that?

Poke, on the other hand, took it surprisingly well. His emotions were in check and he kept his mind away from the rescue team and Mickey. He worried for Bruner's sanity.

They still haven't decided on a verdict to their plan of telling everyone about who killed Mickey, but it was for another time. Bruner was unstable.

"Are you feeling okay, man?" Max asked the deteriorating Bruner, his eyes sunk deeply.

"Honestly, fucking no." He sighed out. "I just want to-"

"Normally, you would be bitching at this time, but..." Dump paused depressingly. "Gone."

"You can go home, man. We'll tell the boss." Max said nicely, a small smile to compensate.

Bruner smiled back deep from those sad eyes.

-///-

there are so many driving scenes i can't

anyways chapter 2 the complete version is here, i just love idiot townsfolk rooting into the plans of a broken mastermind

now you can all wait for so long so there can be another death; place your guesses /j

#robocar poli #you're all going to hell au #robocar poli au #part 2/2 #they're still idiots even when they're sad #the death toll ain't going up #yet

[grimalkinmessor]

afofa for ask game???

But of course! :D

when I started shipping it if I did: My first go around with BNHA, actually! Before season five was even out. I read ahead in the manga and came to the scene of Yoichi and AFO in the vault with Midoriya watching on, and my brain immediately lit up like "OH SO IT'S LIKE THAT" lmao. I looked for content then, but of course, there was none, so it wasn't until I got back into BNHA a few years ago that I looked for AFOFA content and actually found it! Was more than a little surprised to find more gen content for them than shipping content, but that just gave me a new dessert for them :3 Have my cake and some pie too ✨

my thoughts: It's all just feral incoherence up here babe. Just a loud whirlwind of AJSVSKXBDJFL REDGREEN OBSESSEDVAULT NEVERAPART POWERLESSPOWER LOVEHATE INEVITABLETRAGEDY ITWASALWAYSGOINGTOENDLIKETHIS ILOVEYOUBUTITISNTENOUGH BRUTUSCAESAR ABLECAIN REMUSROMULUS ILLKILLYOUIMYOURS HEARTBORNAPARTFROMTHEBODY in my brain 24/7 365 :D

What makes me happy about them: The sheer amount of dark soulmate vibes we get from them in canon. AFO is literally Cronus coded, Yoichi is his Rhea. Yoichi is his everything—and hasn't all All For One's ever wanted and fought for been everything? 💖

What makes me sad about them: What they could've been 🥹 The fact that they both loved each other so deeply but their respective hearts and ideals are so at odds that it would never work in any universe where they're unequally yolked; and they almost always are. The fact that had they grown up in kinder circumstances the likely wouldn't have fought at all. It would've been just them, together, as they should've been from the start. Without all the blood between them. "It could've been the kindest power in the world."

things done in fanfic that annoys me: When they infantilize Yoichi 😮‍💨 Like he's definitely Babygirl™ but he's also a grown man. Being sickly and weaker than he's brother doesn't make him inherently stupider or less capable than AFO, and it definitely doesn't make him childish. I don't even like it when All For One is the one doing it—he absolutely sees his brother as naive and in need of protection but I don't think he'd ACTUALLY see him as a child, or even WANT him to be one. Idk it just skeeves me out, it's not how I see their relationship dynamic ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

things I look for in fanfic: Yoichi characterization!! :D AFO has always been pretty straightforward, so I do look for unhinged loving obsession and all-encompassing need and desire from him, but fics that dive into Yoichi's psyche are some of the most interesting to me :) I like him to be capable and cunning—it just doesn't matter how smart or strong he is against the overwhelming power of his brother 💕 Shoot his ass and watch him laugh ✨

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: As you all know, I'm an avid shipper of any form of Ichiniisan, so I like Yoichi with Kudo and Bruce THIRD in any sort of way I can get them. As for All For One....well, he always takes whatever he wants, and I can see him with several people solely in a sexual sense. For romance however, I only see him loving Yoichi—with special Fondness™ priveleges for Yagi and Inko depending on the universe and circumstances.

my happily ever after for them: In my fic Like This You Keep Them Alive, I have them as lingering ghosts of their respective Quirks, and they can freely go back and forth between their holders (Izuku and Tomura) as much as they please. In the afterlife, everything is swept aside. There is no more power imbalance. There is no world to take over or save. They're able to just,,,,exist together, without anything between them anymore. They play games together and talk about things they haven't in ages and are basically all over each other all the time. I think that's gonna be my favorite ending for them :3

who is the big spoon/little spoon: All For One is big spoon. That man is over seven feet tall, Yoichi barely hits six-foot exactly. All For One big spoon 👁️👁️ He likes to cling.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Cuddling. Cuddling and talking, actually. Because I've got AFO's love language down as physical touch followed quickly by words and Yoichi's love language as words of affirmation followed quickly by physical touch, so sitting curled around each other in front of a warm fire like snakes while they whisper things back and forth would be their biggest nonsexual passtime together. Though sometimes Yoichi does like to badger his brother into dancing with him—mostly so Yoichi can stand on his feet and AFO can float them both into the air. It always make him super giddy 🥰 ....At least until they get to the point where AFO's arms begin to feel more like chains than shields.

#asks #anonymous #ask game #afofa #bnha #boku no hero academia #all for one #shigaraki yoichi #first one for all holder

[tossawary]

The new "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem" movie is VIBRANT! The unique and ambitious style with handdrawn textures and effects is fun and flashy and incredibly colorful - there have been comparisons to Spiderverse, yet TMNT:MM is very much doing its own thing (there is a fair bit of flashing in this movie too, so be warned, but not on the extreme scale of either SV movie). The animation is beautifully naturalistic in its acting and the action really pops. The character designs have great funky shapes, purposefully significantly uneven in a way that delights me with their lack of symmetry.

It's always fun seeing how the characters and backstories change with each iteration trying to do something different. (It's part of why I'm trying to watch my way through different Transformers shows. I think it's neat how the characterizations are always different.) I've only seen the "Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" show and movie (and enjoyed them a lot), and the boys and the world are wildly different to that, and I still enjoyed this iteration of them very much too. The turtles are young and adorable and, while they did kick ass, they were also excitedly talking over each other and making stupid jokes and being a little... uncool? In a way that felt resonant to the experience of being a teenager just having a good time and finding stuff you like and trying to find other people like you. The banter was fun and silly and realistic and teasing. And occasionally heartfelt, though most of the characters are (as many people do) constantly disguising their vulnerability with self-aware jokes.

The story is straightforward (it's kind of simplistic and not very deep at all, honestly, but I enjoyed that just fine) and moves along quickly at a fun pace. It's very like Spiderverse in that I think it's accessible while expecting you to be familiar with basic superhero tropes, so it's a real blast if you're already fond of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like I am, and I find it so refreshing to watch things that are unapologetic about their basic concept being more than a little ridiculous. There are lots of references, but they felt like references that people naturally make, especially teenagers with relatively little exposure to other people. This is a really silly movie! And the movie is like, "Yeah! This is silly! Isn't it great?! Now look at what we're going to do with it!"

The humor runs towards being pretty gross (puke, ooze, other bodily fluids and body humor, and some pretty extreme body horror regarding mutants) at times, depicted pretty graphically on screen. Which I kind of enjoyed, it's neat sometimes to see a movie go there, but I need to underline the vomit warning because that stuff was excessive. The movie also gets quite violent at times. As with most superhero media, they do beat up a lot of generic goons without pausing to consider the broken bones that would definitely be happening. (Very vague spoilers:) There's a nonconsensual medical experimentation scene that's a little disturbing, with repeated electric shocks, and the drawing of bodily fluids, though they keep telling jokes through it to try to keep it light. The final battle is also pretty destructive and did make me go, "They're just babies! (They're like 15ish.) Leave them alone!" a few times.

So, if you're looking for something fun and silly to go see, something that looks totally unique and vibrant on the animated scene, something that made me nostalgic for just joking around with my geeky friends by ourselves when we were teenagers, then I recommend going to see this movie! Especially if you enjoyed any previous iterations of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles even in passing. Though if you're a die-hard fan of a particular previous iteration, maybe you'll be annoyed by some of the adaptational differences, idk, and if you don't like any previous TMNT stuff, then this is maybe not for you. I'm looking forward to the TV show and the sequel that have been greenlit already!

#tossawary tmnt #spoilers

[broccolianddandelion]

7 TDBK/BKTD Fic Recs. Happy Labor Day.

The end of summer is sadly upon us, though it’s over 100 degrees where I live, so it doesn’t feel that way. Thank you global warming. Here are some fic recs in case you have some free time over the long weekend. Mind the tags, and take care of yourself. As always, YMMV.

The Anger Translators (T, 5.5K) @d-naggeluide. Todoroki considered, then sighed. "Do you think we'll ever be able to do this on our own?"

"Do what, express anger normally in a healthy-ass manner or some shit that's not either super repressed or extremely violent?" Bakugou glowered at him, arms crossed.

"Yes."

"No."

---

In which Bakugou becomes Todoroki's anger translator and vice versa

This popular fic is pure fun. A most unique way for Bakugou and Todoroki to get together.

It Was You Before I Knew It (M, 10.2K) by @bideroo. In a shitty bar, gaudy with neon and too many people, Shouto has no idea he's teetering on the edge of 'make or break'. Will it be too late, once he finally figures it out?

One of my not-so-secret weaknesses is love triangles that end with Bakugou and Todoroki together. I know it’s not a popular trope, so there aren’t that many fics out there that tackle this niche.  In this no-quirks AU Midoriya is sadly the loser (it’s in the tags so I’m not spoiling anything.) but there is some amusing interpersonal drama to get to that point. Also nice snarky banter between Todoroki and Bakugou, which is always a treat.

just a stupid button (G, 2.4K) by pyrrhicwildfire. Katsuki informs Todoroki on the meaning of asking for the second button from a guy's gakuran.

There’s some dark recs on here so have some fluff. Non-Japanese people love the button tradition, even if it is a little archaic in real life according to my two minutes of research. Another great button fic is The Right Buttons by TDRKBKGO

Morendo Memories (M, WIP) by MeikoAtsushi. There are three greatest regrets from this point in his life that Bakugou Katsuki cannot surmount.

The first is that flash of misjudgment.

The second is agreeing to Todoroki’s demands.

The third he never knew, is falling for someone that is going to forget him in the next 30 days.

Or: Todoroki is hit with a quirk that will slowly erase his memories, moves in with Bakugou, and maybe they share some shitty feelings about one another - feelings Todoroki wouldn't remember anyway.

This is one of my all-time favorite fics, but I feel bad putting it on here because it is likely to remain a WIP. It features one of the most creative and devastating quirks I’ve run across. It physically pains me that I’ll probably never know how the author planned to resolve the tragedy. I’ve probably scared you off, but don’t deny yourself the pleasure of reading such a well-constructed and emotionally complex fic.

Oblivious (E, 17.9K) by maisierita. “Bakugou,” Todoroki said. He swallowed. Bakugou watched his throat bob. “Just to be clear, because I know I often misread social cues. Are you propositioning me?”

Bakugou stroked Todoroki’s thigh. Todoroki had been a very straightforward teenager; Bakugou didn’t know the man very well but he suspected this facet of his personality had not greatly changed. “That depends,” he said. “Would you say yes if I were?”

Bakugou and Todoroki ditch Midoriya’s wedding to share some revelations and have some fun on their own. The payoff of years of pining.

so tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love? (E, 16K) by TDRKBKGO. He’ll single handedly add hundreds of godless views to Shoto’s videos, returning every night, his soothing voice seeping into Katsuki’s very core until it’s all that matters because it’s safe. He'll let Shoto be his soft whispers in the middle of the night, because damn it, sometimes even he needs those.

Because there’s no way they’d ever meet, right?

Right?

In this AU Bakugou is a Live-streamer and Todoroki is what the author describes as an “ASMRtist& Professional Boyfriend Roleplayer.” Bakugou is an avid consumer of “Shoto’s” videos, but a chance meeting with “Shouto” has him increasingly confused as he tries to separate Shouto from his Shoto persona. This fic also features some hot artwork.

The Truth I Hid (E, 6.2K) by monokuromu (ChiaRoseKuro). He’s forgotten everything about Deku, the shitty weepy fuck that he’s meant to be marrying for the rest of their fucking lives, but Todoroki remembers him? Hell, even Katsuki had almost forgotten about the godawful comparison Kaminari had made all the way back in their first year—but somehow, Todoroki remembers that stupid, throwaway comment.

Todoroki Shouto only remembers the very basics about himself—or half of himself, if Katsuki wants to be mean—but recalls something stupidly insignificant about him, and that…

( I only have one chance left, so I'll pour everything into this moment )

Another Todoroki amnesiac fic but be warned, this is some dark shit, especially if you read the follow-up from Todoroki’s pov. (Doubt Lies in Outstretched Hands) Not for the faint-hearted or Midoriya lovers but otherwise some rewarding mind fuckery.

#bnha fic rec #bktd #tdbk #bakutodo #todobaku #bakugou katsuki #todoroki shouto #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #bnha

[jessepinwheel]

For prompt fills: I am very curious about how that first meeting between bail, obi, and breha went?

I'm still kind of vaguely planning to write the story of obi-wan meeting bail but in the meantime here's this

The last thing I remembered was seeing the gunman.

There hadn't been anything specific about them that stood out, just a black coat and blaster pistol the likes of which come a dime a dozen in the undercity. But that Senator and I had walked past and over his shoulder I'd seen the coat sweep open and the muzzle of the blaster, and I'd known in that moment the bolt wasn't meant for me because I'd have felt it if it was.

Well, I must have done something. I wouldn't be waking up in a medcenter otherwise. Whatever I did, it was probably stupid, because there was a spot below my ribs that felt like it was burning, even with the bacta patch on top of it to help the worst of the pain.

"Are you awake?"

It was a woman's voice, and not any woman I knew. I opened my eyes. The room was blurry, but I could make out a someone sitting next to my bed.

"Who the hell are you?" I croaked.

The blurry woman reached back and moved a few things around, then brought back a cup with a straw that she put in my mouth. "Here. You look like you need some water."

I did need some water. I drank a little.

When I had drunk enough, the woman took the cup away again. I blinked a few times and she became less blurry--enough that I could make out long dark hair and a dress.

I coughed. My body ached all over, and the burning under my ribs was still there. "Who the hell are you?" I asked.

I think she heard me this time because she laughed and said, "What a warm welcome, Detective. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'd feel better if I knew who you were and why you're at my bedside." I rubbed my eyes and looked at her again. She was a beautiful woman, it turned out. Soft skin and elegant clothes, dark hair braided back with golden ornaments. Whoever this lady was, she was too rich of company for the likes of sorry little me.

"My name is Breha," the woman said. "You're acquainted with my husband."

"You must have gotten the wrong room," I told her. "I'm not friends with anyone respectable enough to marry a nice lady like you."

This, too, seemed to be funny. Breha smiled, looking radiant in the way holodrama stars only can with the help of special effects and strategic camera work. "No," she said. "I'm in the right place. My husband is Bail."

"The annoying Senator?" I asked. "My condolences. You deserve better."

"Oh, he's not so bad once you get to know him," Breha told me. "He's very clever, and he's very sweet. If you get him a bottle of the Andraste Red, he opens right up--that's his favorite wine."

I paused. Played that back, thinking surely she hadn't said what it sounded like she said.

"I..." I sat up in the bed with some difficulty. "Breha, dear. I'm sorry, I'm not as sharp as I usually am, under these circumstances. But it sounds like you're trying to give me tips for courting your husband."

"Would it be so bad if I was?" she replied, eyes twinkling. She put her hand on mine--soft, delicate hands. "Bail told me about you. He admires you, even if he doesn't know how to say it. And, well, you took a blaster bolt for him. That raises you up in my book."

Okay. Not mistaken after all. I was getting tips from a married woman on how to make nice with her Senator husband, also presumably married.

"Forgive me for saying so, but it seems a little...improper," I said. "And as lovely as you are, I can't say the same about your husband."

"Oh, you're so straightforward. I can see what he likes about you," Breha told me. "I don't mind if Bail likes people besides me. It's a big galaxy and there are so many wonderful people, it's bound to happen. And now that I've seen you, I don't think I would mind if you liked him back."

"But I don't," I said slowly. The Senator seemed like a reasonable enough man, as far as Senators went, but he was a bit stuck up his own ass for my tastes. And annoying, the way rich folks were always annoying. "And I think you're vastly overestimating how much he likes me, too."

"I don't know about that," Breha told me. "He was practically beside himself when he told me. I had to jump on a transport from Alderaan straightaway just to console him about it. Whatever your opinions are on Bail, you've made a strong impression, detective."

"And is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Breha reached out a hand and brushed it against my beard. "Well, I think that depends on how you feel about it. I won't force you into anything, but I'd be happy to know a man like you a little better, and I know Bail thinks the same. You took a blaster bolt for Bail--it's the least we can do to treat you nicely."

I snorted. "I hate to break it to you, but I don't do well as a kept man."

"Oh, don't say that. You'll dash all of Bail's hopes."

"He could use some dashing of his hopes, if he's hoping for silly things like that," I said. "I'm just keeping his expectations reasonable. And in any case..." I felt the sore spot where I'd been shot and winced. "This case isn't over yet. There's still someone gunning for your husband, and I mean to find out who."

Breha leaned back in her seat. She was so regal she could even make the duraplast medcenter chairs look like a throne. "You don't know yet?"

"No, I didn't exactly get a good look at them before they shot me," I said. "But I know what they're after, and they're not likely to stop until they get it." I thought about it for a little while. "We can use that. Set a trap."

"That sounds dangerous," said a voice from the door.

I looked up to meet the dark eyes of Senator Organa, the most annoying man in existence. He looked somber as he entered the room.

"Senator," I said. "I'm glad to see you're well."

The Senator scowled at me. "I know you don't really think that."

"Well, I'm at least glad that my getting shot wasn't in vain, seeing as you're well enough to be unpleasant," I said. "I was just speaking with your wife. How did you ever manage to convince such a wonderful woman to marry you?"

The Senator looked over at Breha, his expression softening. "Oh, don't I wonder."

Breha smiled. "I told you. He's very charming when he puts his mind to it."

"I'll have to take your word for it," I said.

"What is all of this about setting a trap?" the Senator asked without looking me in the face. "You only just got shot yesterday, and you're planning to do it again? I thought you private investigators were supposed to be a little less reckless in real life."

"There's an assassin after you," I told him. "Or rather, after that necklace you came into possession of. If they're going to hunt you down no matter what, it's in our best interests to create an opportunity for them to take a shot while also keeping you safe. Someplace public, I think."

"Someplace public..." Breha said. "Bail, isn't there a Senatorial Ball occurring in a week? You could use that."

The Senator's eyes widened. "Breha, you can't seriously be suggesting--"

"We have enough time to prepare some blaster-proof weave for our Detective and yourself," Breha said. "And it's better that we stop this assassin sooner rather than later--I'd hate if anything happened to you, darling."

The Senator seemed to struggle with something internally, but in the face of his wife, he went down easy. "Yes," he said. "I think you might be right."

"Now wait up a second," I said. "I'm just some private investigator. I can't afford something like blaster-proof weave. And the Senatorial Ball? They'd kick me out at the door."

"Not after I'm done with you," Breha said, looking me up and down. "Oh, yes. I'm sure you'll clean up quite nicely, Detective. Would you mind wearing a gown? I know just the thing."

"Don't worry about money," Bail told me. "Breha is the Queen. We can afford to pay your expenses if it means I won't get assassinated."

I opened my mouth. Closed it. "You're...You're married to the Queen? How in the Sith hells did you manage that?"

Bail rolled his eyes. "Well, apparently I'm very charming when I put my mind to it." He looked at me slowly. "What, would you like me to charm you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "You've got a lot of work to do on your personality before you can even think of charming me. This assassin business comes first."

"Well, I like a challenge." The Senator's eyes twinkled, a playful smile dancing on the corners of his lips, and for a moment, I could understand what Breha saw in him. He folded his arm in front of his chest and bowed. "I live to serve, detective. What do we need to do?"

So I told him. Piece by piece, I laid out what I knew, and what we would need to do to lure the assassin out and capture them for good. The Senator made intelligent commentary on the process, as did his wife, and we made fast progress planning it out.

When the Senator finally bid goodbye about an hour later so he could do his actual job, I thought to myself that he really wasn't as annoying when his wife was around.

"You see what I mean, don't you?" Breha said. "Bail can be quite charming when he tries to be."

I nodded slowly in agreement. It was easier to believe now, that someone like Breha would willingly marry someone like Bail. "You know what, after this is all over, maybe I'll be open to letting him charm me. You said Andraste Red was his favorite wine?"

"I have a bottle in my ship now, if you'd like it," Breha said.

"I'll think about it," I said. "And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, you damn matchmaker."

Breha laughed. "Well, I admit it's not solely for Bail's sake. I wouldn't mind getting closer to a man like you, either." She lifted up my hand and pressed her lips to it, like I was some holonovel damsel. "You won't forget to keep both of us in mind, will you?"

"A woman like you?" I asked. I squeezed her hand back softly. "Why, dear, you don't even need to ask."

#ask jesse #fic: asynchronous circuit #fanfic #jessepinwrites

[1eos]

Sorry im bringing back people who dont understand nope byt like. Another thing i thiught of-...Its jordan peele. Like. Tge man is straightforward in all of his movies what is there Not to get?? Do yoy also not understand how Us is abut class?? How get out is about Racism?? Like he never does anything unesscery everything is on Theme (sorry for the rant!)

please y'all don't ever stop talking to me abt this bc its really bothering me!!!!!!!! like we have ppl reading into every single detail of them stupid ass marvel movies and the ppl begging for something original but somehow are too stupid to put together the CLEAR pieces of nope?

like you're so right jordan peele is very transparent. he isn't condescending with his message he WANTS you to get it.

oj literally brings up the topic of a 'bad miracle' which ties directly into the 'miracle' of the shoe at the attack and the 'miracle' of jean jacket even existing

otis sr literally appears in a vision and says 'some animals cannot be trained just broken' which ties directly into how we're supposed to view jean jacket

jupe literally has flashbacks to gordy before he's abt to make a spectacle out of jean jacket which fucking explains everything abt his motivations

emerald literally has a WHOLE SPEECH about how her ancestor was the first black jockey to be on moving film but was lost to history which ties DIRECTLY INTO THEIR DESIRE TO CATCH JEAN JACKET ON FILM.

everything is so fucking obvious???????? and im just listing basic plot threads/character motivations off the top of my head we can go thru this movie bit by bit and draw very obvious parallels to everything like all the eye contact? lucky being spooked by eye contact/oj avoiding eye contact/lack of eye contact saving jupe's life/lack of eye contact saving OJ'S life/direct eye contact being what COSTS jupe his life.

it is all so obvious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think. a lot of ppl have forgotten what it means to actually need to engage a piece of media for maximum understanding if its not all bland flashy nothingness then its just 'confusing and pointless' when jordan peele couldnt be more obvious with his themes if he dumped horse shit in our laps falflalf

#sorry this got long but i have THOUGHTS #nope #nope spoilers #asks

[hyugaruma]

so I've been seeing all the match ups and i was like you know what, fuck it, i should enter one because I've been DYING of curiosity the past few weeks.

I'm an ENFP, my zodiac sign is sagittarius, and my favorite color is purple (though i usually end up wearing black) I like trying new things, and pushing as many boundaries as possible. I like to make people laugh, and make a lot of jokes (sometimes at my own expense) helping other people is something i like doing a lot, since i feel like i have to be needed to be worth anything. I'm very blunt and straightforward, which sometimes makes me seem mean, since i say whatever comes to mind. (my friends would say I'm out of pocket 24/7)

I'm definitely the wild card of the friend group, and i act pretty confident, but i don't have a great sense of self worth. I don't enjoy being vulnerable around many people, and it takes a while for me to trust people with my actual thoughts and feelings. because of this sometimes the things i do and say i sometimes seem insincere.

i really enjoy creating art, in any form. i have pretty diverse music taste, and i speak multiple languages. (i may act like a dumb ass but I'm sure as hell not stupid)

hope this isn't too abstract, i love your writing btw and i hope you have a great valentine's day ❤️

Let’s gooo, I love matching my moots. I knew so quick who I was gonna match you with too. Thanks sm for requesting, and for the kind words! :-))

I match you with… Yamaguchi Magoroku!

If you want to talk about pushing boundaries and trying new things, Yamaguchi’s your guy. He’s down for almost any and all ideas that you present to him. He’s a fairly open minded guy, and he lives his life that way as well. He isn’t the type to sugarcoat things or lie to protect others’ feelings, and he would appreciate a partner who is similarly upfront. He’s got thick skin, and odds are anything you say that may seem “mean,” he’ll just find it funny. Yamaguchi exudes self-confidence, so much so that it really does rub off on those around him. He’s the type of partner who will really push you to believing in yourself and everything that you do. That being said, he isn’t someone who forces people to open up to him, so he’s willing to wait until you’re ready to show that vulnerability to him.

Alternate Matches: P , Brown

#by the way I had four characters down for you and I so struggled to narrow it down to the three… #freeby fourth matchup but the other was sameoka #high&low matchup

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

since youre still accepting then 8,9,10 (and maybe 11,12 if you want to) for vash ,wolfwood and millie ,meryl please ! either as ships or individual standalones!!

alright, under the cut for length (+manga spoilers!) i didn't do every single one of these, but i did several!

vash the stampede + 8. a post-canon headcanon

going to cheat a little and combine this with 10. I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

as i alluded to here i think the ending of the manga is Completely Fucking Bonkers and i refuse to consider it canon. what actually happened... well, i wrote 25k about it so i don't Need to elaborate, but tl;dr vash and LR settle down in a little house and live peacefully and quietly as they slowly start to recover from the horrendous amount of shit they've collectively been through. vash sleeps a lot.

9. a missing scene that definitely happened

vash and wolfwood slept together after wolfwood got vash off the ark, right before wolfwood left for the orphanage, and wolfwood vanished out of vash's bed without saying goodbye. if circumstances hadn't been. what they were. vash would've given him an absolute earful about it.

11. something [other character] believes about them that isn't true

in the aforementioned post-canon au, razlo spends a lot of time thinking that vash blames him for wolfwood's death. he doesn't. he did, but he knows now that it was wolfwood's own fault.

12. something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

vash thinks knives must hate him. he's wrong (though given the way knives treats him, it's an understandable conclusion to jump to) and also projecting.

nicholas d. wolfwood + 8. a post-canon headcanon

:')

in aus where he survives, he eventually works up the guts to go back to the orphanage, and still can't quite believe he's going to be welcomed with open arms until he's already been tackled into the sand by a dozen children. (he tries very hard not to cry and Does Not Succeed)

9. a missing scene that definitely happened

[i trip over my feet and 67985749 unwritten fics about vash and wolfwood and the various intense intimacies of staying in hotel rooms together falls out.]

10. I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

i find it bewildering that wolfwood didn't know razlo existed given that he was with LR at assassin boarding school for several years. it's much more interesting to me if they did know each other, especially if they met several times, but razlo never introduced himself and wolfwood never saw him in action. he just knew that occasionally livio wasn't livio.

11. something [other character] believes about them that isn't true

vash never believed wolfwood meant him any harm. that was true eventually, but not always.

12. something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

here!

meryl stryfe + 8. a post-canon headcanon + 9. a missing scene that definitely happened + 10. I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

cheating again, because my brain is starting to turn into soup. i promise i have more milly and meryl thoughts, they're just behind a paywall (a decent night's sleep) right now.

meryl (and millie), rather than chasing vash down with a camera, help him get away quietly from the people after him, and spend the next several months deliberately leading the various people hunting vash away from him, so he has some time to visit his friends and get some much-needed rest.

millie thompson + 8. a post-canon headcanon + 9. a missing scene that definitely happened

about ten months into working as reporters, meryl loses her voice for about a week, so she takes over the cameras, and millie does the talking.

she's really, exquisitely good at it. she's funny, very straightforward, and has the kind of insights that just don't occur to most people. she and meryl take turns after that, and it takes some of the stress off of both of them.

#trigun #character ask meme #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson

[bi-bard]

But Reality Crept In, You Said We’re too Different - Thea Queen Imagine (Arrow)

Title: But Reality Crept In, You Said We’re too Different

Pairing: Thea Queen X Reader

Based On: I Bet You Think About Me

Word Count: 1,177 words

Warning(s): bad relationship, Thea being awful, break-up

Summary: (Pre-Show/Season 1) Thea was known for being the rich party girl that could get pretty much anything she wanted. Too bad that people are less likely to do what you want after you’ve wronged them.

Author's Note: That is such a shit summary. I am so sorry.

Masterlist for From the Vault - Taylor Swift Writing Challenge

--------------------------------

Thea's strange behavior started with small things.

Fixing my hair, adjusting my clothes. Small things that I would've never questioned.

I trusted Thea to accept me as I was. Who would get into a relationship with someone that they saw as embarrassing? Right?

It was no secret that I hadn't grown up as fortunate as Thea. Not even slightly. I assumed that wasn't a big deal to her. Well, not so much assumed as I trusted her when she told me that it wasn't a big deal.

The small things eventually start escalating. It turned into advice. What I should do when I got my hair cut, what I should wear on dates with her. Again, relatively small... but they were more persistent. I just kind of listened to her... when I could afford it.

After advice was just straightforward demands. This is what I would wear. This is where we were going. These were the best people to talk to. It wasn't suggestions or passive-aggressive comments.

She was one step away from pulling me along on a leash.

When I didn't comply or meet her standards, she would suddenly pull away. My brain would go from feeling like a complete disappointment. If I loved her, I should've been able to make it work. She deserved something better.

I wish I could've heard how fucking stupid that sounded at the time.

We were sitting in her room when everything came to a head.

She was getting ready for a party and rambling about something. I had worn what she told me to. I was miserable. It was tight in the wrong places, and I didn't feel good in it.

"And I'll introduce you to some big voices in town," she had been explaining her plan for the night and I had barely been listening. "Be careful with the food. I don't want your face being messy."

"I'm not a child," I replied. It was the first time I had a comeback for her bullshit. It seemed to throw her for a second.

"I know that," she nodded. "I'm just trying to help."

"Do I really need it," I asked.

My heart jumped into my throat. There was no backing down now.

Thea stepped closer to me and crossed her arms over her chest. It was a dare. A challenge.

"Well, after your behavior at the last party, I assumed you'd listen to it," she said. "I don't need you acting like such a sad puppy."

"I only acted like that because I told you I didn't want to go out that night and you still made plans," I stood up from my seat. "And then, when I asked to go home at like 2 a.m., you just said no and made me stand next to you the entire night. I was exhausted and overwhelmed-"

"You're always like," she groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Then maybe you should stop dragging me places."

"No, I'm taking you out to nice events to enjoy our evenings."

"They're never nice," I finally snapped. "I hate the parties we go to. Everything is too loud. You always end up either drunk or high off your ass. I'm forced into these disgusting clothes that don't fit right but I wear them because you tell me to. I never get a choice in anything!"

"Because if I left you to make a choice, you'd just embarrass me!"

I froze up.

"Like you always did when we first got together!"

I scoffed at her and blinked away the tears in my eyes. When I finally made eye contact with her, I let out a huff.

"We're done," I said. "Right now. We are completely done."

"Don't be like that," she replied. "I am helping you."

"No," I shook my head. "No, you're just embarrassed of me. I am going to change everything about me so that you have a pretty looking accessory to show your friends."

I walked around her as she continued shouting behind me. I stormed down the steps, just wanting to get home before I completely breakdown.

"You are nothing without me!"

I spun around in the doorway of the house, "Unlike you, I don't need status to be fucking happy!"

I continued storming out, running down the road.

I don't know how far I ended up running, I just know that I made it home safe.

I slammed the front door and let out a sob.

"Hey, no need to take the door off the hinges," my mom joked. Her tone completely changed when she saw my face. "Oh no, what happened?"

"I... Thea... I just dumped Thea."

My mom walked over and pulled me into a tight hug. I hid my face in her shoulder as she rubbed her back.

"It's okay," she mumbled. "I've got you, sweetie."

I just wanted to erase the last few months of my life. I was embarrassed that I had fallen into that trap for so long. I just wanted to feel like a normal person again.

--time skip--

After months, I finally felt comfortable going out again. My mom had helped me fix my wardrobe again. I was comfortable going out in the clothes I owned now. Selling all of the shit that Thea gave me made me a good chunk of money too.

I met someone new. She was nice and smart and incredibly funny. She respected every boundary I had. It was so... different. It was nice.

We were in line for a movie when I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Fuck. Among a group of obnoxious rich kids that were all at least tipsy, was Thea.

I quickly turned to face forward, not wanting her to spot me.

"What's wrong," my partner asked, wrapping her arm around mine.

"Umm... that girl, the one I told you about... she's in the group," I muttered.

My partner glanced behind us.

"Oh my god," she mumbled. "She's staring at your back."

I tensed.

"Wanna go home," she asked. "We can if you want."

"I don't... I don't want to let you down."

"Hey," she cupped the side of my face, "you wouldn't be letting me down. You're keeping yourself safe and that matters more to me than anything else."

I slowly nodded.

There was a long pause between us.

"Can we leave," I asked quietly.

She leaned over and kissed my cheek, "Of course."

I grinned and let her grab my hand and lead me to the door. The only way out was passing the group. I took a deep breath as we went by.

I could feel Thea's eyes drilling into the side of my head. I knew the look all too well. She was used to glaring at me and causing me to just crumble and do whatever she wanted.

I must've started shaking or something because my partner lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of my hand.

I looked over and her and smiled.

I was happy with this kind of different.

--------------------------------

Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#thea queen imagine #thea queen fanfiction #thea queen x reader #arrow x reader #arrow imagine #arrow fanfiction #arrowverse x reader #arrowverse imagine #arrowverse fanfiction #fanfiction #imagine #x reader #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc fanfiction

[biggestdev]

Cheap (kinda) DIY hormone testing

Hormone level testing is something that came became an issue during my transition; I am going through my doctor for HRT, and my health insurance bit me in the ass. Since my doc is a small practice, they ship my samples out to get tested, and insurance only covers hormone tests if they take place AT my GP's practice. Like, in the physical building the sample was collected int. A weird cutout, but I assume it's something meant to fuck me over intentionally, and I can't make them budge on it.

So, I switched to an at-home, mail-in hormone test. I'm putting my two cents out there, just in case it helps anyone, I assume the DIY-ers out there are already aware of stuff like this. The test I ordered is from ZRT Lab:

Specifically, I ordered the "Hormone Trio" blood spot sample. There is a saliva sample method available (spit in a cup vs wipe blood on a sample paper), but their own research papers indicate the saliva sample isn't as accurate for testosterone, so I went with the blood spot method. It's not CHEAP by any means, at $130, but it's certainly cheaper than the $500 I WAS CHARGED by the local university hospital to do the SAME TESTS!

There is a caveat in the fine print that you should be aware of: California residents still need a doctor's note for ZRT Lab to process their samples. I don't know why, it's stupid, but it's a clear line that they draw.

This is the cheapest test I was able to find for these hormones, everything else either left out progesterone, or cost close to (or over) $200. I don't know if transmasc people need any other hormones tested, but for me, a transfemme, the three in the Hormone Trio test (Estradiol, Progesterone, and Testosterone) were the exact 3 my doctor was looking for.

As far as how easy it is to use, I found it very straightforward: it includes a lancet to poke a hole in one of your fingertips (the instructions said to go into the side of the finger at a weird angle, but I couldn't get enough blood to take samples, so I gave up and went right in the middle of my fingerprint, that worked much better), then drip blood onto the indicated spots on the sample card. Let the samples dry overnight, then pack it up and ship as directed (it comes with a prepaid shipping label).

On top of that, I was surprised at how little information they require to process a sample. there is a form sent with the kit, and I only included my name (chosen, not legal), age, gender, email, and a list of current medications. I also had to fill out at least one "symptom" (since they didn't have "is trans" in there, I just chose "mild anxiety", literally just pick anything), I know this because I DIDN'T choose a symptom at first, and they actually called me after they received it, telling me they need at least one symptom in order to process the sample. The nice lady on the phone actually started reading out all 50+ possible symptoms, I took pity on her and stopped her pretty quick ("oh you said anxiety? yeah, sure, that one".)

All in all, it took about 10 days from when I shipped the sample, to the results being posted in their online portal.

All in all, I'm happy with how easy and cheap (compared to the alternative) this test was, and I'll probably be using them for the foreseeable future, unless of course my insurance gets it's head screwed on straight and actually starts helping me instead of just charging me to do nothing, but we all know they'd light themselves on fire before actually helping anyone 😊

Oh, yeah, and this isn't an ad or anything, I did my own research and paid for the test in full, it's just a regular old review.

#trans #transgender #hormones #trans diy #hrt #lgbtqia+

[buckets-thought-dump]

The Worst possible Hollow Knight game mode (that I want to make if I had the time for it)

This idea is based on a dream I had a long ass time ago but hear me out because it's stupid but funny. It has been sitting in my notes on my phone for just over a year now and I just realised this is the perfect place to post it.

So, the game is exactly the same as a normal run, except a giant hopper chases you around through every room. It will follow you EVERYWHERE no matter what. This hopper cannot be killed, jumps around much faster than regular giant hoppers, can go through smaller hallways when necessary to follow the player, and if you touch it once you die instantly.

This might not sound too bad at first, keep in mind you don't have a dash yet so the entirety of the game up until the Hornet encounter is pretty much unplayable. If you were fast enough you could outrun the hopper because it has to go through each room to reach you, but you can only walk and jump at the start of the game so that's not possible.

(Quick reminder that this is based on a dream I had which is why this sounds like such bullshit game design)

When you touch the giant hopper you won't actually lose the run though. You'll only leave behind your shade as usual and instead of respawning at your most recent bench, you will then respawn in what I can only describe as the "Red Palace".

Basically it's a red, fleshy, gory looking castle with long hallways that are angled diagonally upwards that looks somewhat similar to the White Palace with a straightforward and linear path to take, but it's an awful endurance test all about needing to jump at exactly the right time every time and standing in exactly the right spots while weirdly deformed and gory looking creatures zoom past you faster than anything else in the game.

If you want to make it out of the Red Palace alive, you need to either know the path beforehand or have almost inhuman reaction times.

Going through this hellhole of a level is incredibly slow, tedious, unforgiving and insanely hard to get through, so it's like the White Palace/Path of Pain but without any platforming skills you would've had in a normal run.

If you die in the Red Palace, your run is over (like in Steel Soul). But if you make it out alive somehow, you will exit the palace somewhere in the middle of the map, roughly located near the mantis claw (for some reason). Then you'll need to climb all the way back up to where you died and reclaim your shade all while the giant hopper has been going through every room to get to you the entire time.

And that's how you're supposed to play the game from start to finish.

Now I may be an aspiring game designer with some experience with programming, however I have no idea how Hollow Knight modding works and I don't exactly have the time to make this a real thing anyway so I'm putting the idea right here for whoever wants something to work on.

In a more realistic adaptation of this idea I'd imagine a lot of things would have to be a lot more balanced for actual humans to pull off, but at the same time the base idea seems so stupid I kind of don't want it to be balanced because I am an agent of chaos and apparently I want to see people suffer.

#hollow knight #hollow knight idea #hollow knight mod #mod idea #game mod #game design #stupid ideas #if someone wants to make this for whatever reason please let me know I'd love to see it or help with the project somehow

[mikavlcs]

Here's part 2 of my comment.

Okay now I am ready to throw hands with Wednesday. She would 100% beat my ass but she deserves it for hurting R and being so complicated.

Bitch seriously?? You wish to know what upset her? IT'S YOU YOU IDIOT. You going to the dance with Tyler after ignoring R! Wednesday can be very very dumb. And frustrating. Yet we still love her. But only if she fixes her mistakes!

Ugh, Xavier. Go away. No one likes you.

Omg, Thing with a bow tie!! How adorable is that!?

Lol, Thing please trip people! That really is hilarious. I love Wednesdays kind of humor. Her and I definitely share that.

Oh NOW you realize you made a mistake?? Wednesday girl, I guess it's better late than never but come on. You're way smarter than this.

Eliminating a problem?? Giiiirl R is not a problem! If you can't handle your feelings then get a grip and learn how to deal with them. Wednesday has to qualms with hurting people and in general she's just a very self serving person, which we all know and love, but sooner or later she will realize that her egotistical actions have negative consequences. It's totally understandable that Wednesday has problems with dealing with her emotions cause she doesn't really have any experience in that matter. Sje is in general a very logic and straightforward person. Obviously it's frustrating to see how she is handling everything but honestly it's so spot on for Wednesday and she just needs the time to realize completely what she is feeling and how her actions are affecting others around her. It's a learning process for her that is just like canon with Enid and her moving out.

Ha, Thing is having the time of his life. I love to see it!

Tyler shut up already. You're incredibly stupid if you think Wednesday is even remotely interested in spending time with you. What an idiot.

Go Wednesday, now is your chance! Go after R!

HA TAKE THAT FUCK FACE! Wednesday didn't even let him finish talking 😂

Oh my heart. All this time R thought it was her fault, that she isn't worth it anymore. How sad is that. Wednesday, the fight is back on. I will beat your ass for hurting R like this!

Wednesday it's your turn now to reach out and mend Rs broken heart. Go on!

Finally! Wednesday admitted her feelings.

Aww, look at Wednesday initiating physical contact and her first form of cuddling. Very endearing!

Phew, what a wild ride that was. I went from hating Wednesday, to sympathizing with her and understanding her, to being angry again and now back to loving her.

Your writing really is incredibly, I especially love how you incorporate these metaphors so flawlessly and through that make your stories so vivid and beautiful. Not to mention how well you capture Wednesdays complicated characterization. It really is so spot on and true to the show!

That may even be one of my favorite stories of yours!

gonna put this under a cut again because it'll probably be kinda long<3

Okay now I am ready to throw hands with Wednesday. She would 100% beat my ass but she deserves it for hurting R and being so complicated.

so true tbh

Ugh, Xavier. Go away. No one likes you.

exactly!!! this energy >>>

Omg, Thing with a bow tie!! How adorable is that!?

right??? idk if that actually happened in the show (i will be rewatching soon) but if it didn't, it absolutely should have 🤚‼️

Eliminating a problem?? Giiiirl R is not a problem! If you can't handle your feelings then get a grip and learn how to deal with them. Wednesday has to qualms with hurting people and in general she's just a very self serving person, which we all know and love, but sooner or later she will realize that her egotistical actions have negative consequences. It's totally understandable that Wednesday has problems with dealing with her emotions cause she doesn't really have any experience in that matter. Sje is in general a very logic and straightforward person. Obviously it's frustrating to see how she is handling everything but honestly it's so spot on for Wednesday and she just needs the time to realize completely what she is feeling and how her actions are affecting others around her. It's a learning process for her that is just like canon with Enid and her moving out.

yeah this is what i was talking about. she really has to be bonked on the head with consequences to realize what she did wrong and why it was wrong. which i wanted to communicate some here.

like morticia was 100% spot on when she said that wednesday was, in a lot of ways, her own biggest enemy (at least when it comes to this stuff). her being so set in her ways would have catastrophic consequences at some point, like when enid moved out in episode 6 (or 7?...)

(i was tempted to make this one have an unhappy ending as well but...getting through 8k words just have an unhappy ending for this story would've been unsatisfying for both me and you guys lol)

HA TAKE THAT FUCK FACE! Wednesday didn't even let him finish talking 😂

honestly, this only happened because i was making an effort to keep it more gender neutral, but it was also just really funny

Aww, look at Wednesday initiating physical contact and her first form of cuddling. Very endearing!

hope it wasn't disappointing lol. like this one of my more slow-paced stories because i was trying to keep her at least kinda in character but at the same time...over 13k words combined for just that is a little funny. hope it was still enjoyable<3

Your writing really is incredibly, I especially love how you incorporate these metaphors so flawlessly and through that make your stories so vivid and beautiful. Not to mention how well you capture Wednesdays complicated characterization. It really is so spot on and true to the show!

That may even be one of my favorite stories of yours!

SJKHFDSJ thank youuu<33 i actually tried a bit harder with the metaphors here (especially the overarching one) so as long as they make sense, that's what matters!

and i'm happy wednesday mostly feels in character here. trying to write her well while also balancing the romance aspect is always a bit of a challenge. and looking at the length...there was obviously a lot to cover, so i'm glad it worked and i'm really happy that you enjoyed it 💞

this is definitely one of my favorite stories of the ones i've written but, i also don't particularly like most of the ones i've written so idk how much my opinion really matters lol-

these messages made my afternoon. work is boring the hell out of me so getting to take a few minutes to reply to these was really fun<3 thank you so much 😭

#clexa is forever #<333

[vlvtrkii]

It's currently 2:53 am and i just watched the first two episodes of season 1 os succession and tbh it at first looked ike i might not understand as half the things were quite flowing above my head

but then i think i quite got the grip on the ongoing situation and tbh if i try to sum it al up it's really infa t just a shitshow and i really don't want to see a show of bunch of lustful greedy fail trying to take over while lsi being coward at the same time and tryna play safe but terribly failing since none of them actually has anyone's back yk they all just a bunch of backstabbers ready to bite you anytime and take all the profit.... It's just how evryone in the screen is there for the money except some two or three characters i guess

All of logans kids remind me of those useless nepo kids of Hollywood tbh cuz i think Logan was right when he decided to still be the CEO since Kendall is really not mature enough and brave to be a CEO or step up and same goes with the other kids

They all are so emotionally sensitive and want a safe place but also has got the greed and lust from their father

They want to top each other but also don't want to hurt the else feeling or be straightforward with their motives to the others

Funny hw every side character slash spouse of them are gold diggers and just their for money like God damn babes

I think shiv is also quite emotional and vulnerable to stupid people but she has got that bossy instincts and roman do lack maturity to a whole other level

Kendall is just a emotional attached boy with skills but the fact he is not strong for the Bulls game like he can't even convince his siblings, he lack that bossy nature, he is too emotional and sensitive and tbh weak for a job that runs the whole fucking company and i do believe Logan was right when he said he might need a more time to get all that strictness, and he wasn't firing him tbh he is the most appropriate our of all four,,, but the fact Logan decided to do the Marcy thing in the game kinda screwed it up since i think evrybody knows she is a gold digger it was obvious and still Logan did such a stupid thing was maybe just becuz idk it's his third wife and i beleive he has more moments with her and also obvi the NSFW thing,, maybe that's why he is actually attached but i also of beleive that maybe he was just fucking it all up to scre them even harder cuz ain't no way a man running a company and so heartless would be this dumb

And conner was the person i felt quite the best in characters but ohh when he showed up with willa,,,, like why do rich PPL are so nasty and yucky bro

And don't get me started on how big of a loser is Greg i mean yeah maybe he's just a filler or sm shit but it's so annoying and he is not being relatable, he is just purely an ass tbh like how did he not grow up at all and till dream high to play this game when he literally discussed abt shoes with her mom

He is the iconic manchild but with more hairs and leaning on soft side of his way of body language and all which don't make it so annoying but rather tumblrworthy

And Tim is just a dick and i hate how he's technically using shiv to be somewhere in that game like what the fuck

logan has all the CEO qualities except maybe he is too harsh and egoistic and don't suck ppl's dick to get his things done which is impressive atleast he ain't a bitch but he also lacks how to be loyal and yk the man of words cuz of what he did to Frank and the debt thing makes it a lil more clear that he really don't have some business mides strategies and hasn't read books like Kendall has,,,, but yeah a man of words won't fire a loyal co worker of 30 years for a shitty son so maybe he too lacked there in order to support his sons but i think he did it in order to keep the business in the hands of his family after he steps down idk

I just don't want to watch a show where evryone is a shitty person in general but idk i might not continue it altho its just been two fucking episodes but in alr tired for this long ass commitment

#Succession #succession s1 #Succession season 1 #Kendall roy #roy siblings #logan roy #shiv roy #connor roy #greg succession #Tom and Greg #tom succession #roman roy

[jigensass]

You know I was planning to do like a 5 to 6 part review of 2022 but wrote only two parts as to build up some big narrative about my life and how I changed for the better this year or some shit in some realization that I had finally figured myself out.

In reality, I haven’t changed a damn thing, if anything I’ve went 3 steps back in life.

It’s no surprise I’m mentally disabled. I tell anybody this IRL, all the time this is the reaction I get

‘Yeah it’s called drugs and not socializing because I know I’m a fucking weirdo’

I have to remind people constantly ‘if you don’t tell me that I upset you because of something I said/did, I’ve never going to pick up on it until it gets to a boiling point and then I’ll have a mental breakdown over something that a neurotypical would deem as benign’

Somehow one of my coworkers managed to ignore this statement for a literal year and a half until I subtly noticed them giving me the cold shoulder during one of my fits of paranoia that we all had to sit down and have an intervention about it because they couldn’t be straightforward with me. And all the other coworkers knew about it, and they were afraid to talk to me about it as well.

People just assume that I’m just okay with their bullshit insanity yet I am always the one who has to call out the neurotypicals out on their bullshit. Like they just think because I can make mountains move when I put my mind to it, that I can always do that 24/7 because I’m apparently Jesus to them. This includes being clairvoyant and telepathic. People have played that previous statement off as a joke to me when I don’t get the memo and have to call them out on their bullshit of when the message doesn’t get relayed to me when it should of.

But when I need/want one small thing done it takes literal weeks to get it done and when I needed that thing done, and the person who asked for me to get said thing done now has a metaphorical gun to the back of my head with my hands now being tied, and the person who should have gotten the thing done just IGNORES ME, YEAH I GET STRESSED OUT. I have gotten so cynical lately to subtly call people out on their idiocy by attaching old emails and screenshotting messages to respond to someone as to get the point across of ‘you dense motherfucker learn to fucking read’ when I get to a breaking point that people think it’s funny when I act this way.

It’s not funny, it’s sad and depressing. It sometimes gets to a point when I’ve been having suicidal thoughts.

And it’s caused me to do some pretty stupid shit (like spending hundreds of dollars on a gatcha game without remorse. There I said it)

Wanna know how many mental breakdowns I have had in this year alone? It’s a big number because I lost count.

That’s how stressed I’ve been. That’s how much I’ve been literally fucked in the ass. Now let me be clear. This year, I can say with a clear conscience no one on tumblr has treated me this way. My mental strain is all exerted from one source: my job.

I can see it now in the comments: ‘why don’t you just quit and find a better job?’ My response is, I’m getting paid $25 an hour to deal with idiots. Twenty-five American dollars every sixty minutes.

That’s 3.4 times higher than the national average.

Some days, the idiots are manageable. Other days, not so much.

But recently I have been noticing that the company has been accommodating me. But it’s only after I have hit the boiling point and have gone on a callout email thread. Also this is because I was forced into a position I never wanted to be in and surprise: high stress levels and me having to manage people equals a hell for everyone else. (This was partially my fault because I felt bad because the guy’s mom was on her death bed and he was doing what I was doing and unlike everyone else, I had the balls to call him out on his stupid streak aka constantly checking up in on work AS HIS MOTHER WAS DYING and he actually listened. Funny how no one calls me out on my stupid streaks and here we are)

It’s only after the damage has already been done that people go ‘oh shit, the asset is being serious’ as I lay crying in the corner.

And that what my life has become: I’m a joke of an asset. Because my anger of how people act on The Office is FUNNY.

My stress, paranoia, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts to people IS FUNNY.

And then they get upset when I give them the cold shoulder once.

I live in this hellhole that it’s okay for everyone else to have a ‘fuck it not my problem attitude when it is their problem’ but I have to constantly give a fuck. Even when I’m PTO. Yes my PTO days have become semi-anti stress days. I spent two weeks in August holed in my house because of the hell I went through in May-July. Last week I took two days off to recoup my losses and as soon as my PTO was over on day two, I was back on my laptop playing catch up for the next day.

Everyone else in this world is allowed to fall short except for me. Because I’m the only person who can get results and hit my target.

And then I ask myself why I gravitate to the ‘broken dad who is perfect at their job’ stereotype. Because if I had a penis, they would literally be me.

If you have gotten this far in rant, thanks? I guess?

I forgot to mention the part said how I felt to my family about Thanksgiving and even they have pushed me away because they finally realized how taxing I am to their environment because I spoke up on how I felt.

I know you, the person reading this, want to jump on my DM’s and into my inbox to tell me that what I wrote was wrong and I’m a beautiful person and blah blah blah. I have been down this road before. Words of encouragement are starting to become apathetic to me.

All I want in this hell we call life right now is one other soul who I can be genuinely honest with, as well as be myself without a filter. Someone who can accept me for my faults and not be afraid to call me out on my bullshit. Someone to be able support me after I’m done supporting everyone else. Someone to have around to know that everything’s okay so I can stop worrying for five minutes. Someone who just…gets me.

‘You mean a partner, right?’ Kind of, I guess.

People think I’m so complicated and high maintenance when in reality, I’m not. That I’m difficult to deal with. When in reality, I’m not. I’m just like everyone else when broken down to my main core, it’s just after 30 years of walking this earth, I’ve been everyone else’s punching bag that I’m beat up and worn out.

So when I beat back with words filled with truth or mixed with perceptive lies based on how I feel (usually anger), I just get shoved into a corner and expected to continue to process results like I don’t have feelings.

I don’t understand why my boss got to take a month and a half off this year yet for these last three weeks she had no PTO and told me to my face ‘I feel bad for doing this’. IF YOU FELT BAD THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?

When I feel bad for doing something, I actually feel bad and guilt trip myself.

You want to know how I’ve back pedaled into any progress of good mental health I wanted to have this year?

Two words on repeat: ‘I’m sorry’ as a response to my existence.

Anyway, let the queen burn in Hell and RIP Kiyoshi Kobayashi

Here is to 2023 possibly being the same level of shit and maybe one person will wake the fuck up and realize how messed up in the head I am. Because lying to my psychiatrist that I’m happy isn’t working.

#i don’t remember #when I watched The Joker #but it’s a really good movie because it is not afraid to address real issues while being in a fictional superhero universe #yesterday was a breaking point for me #it’s not the fact that people didn’t acknowledge my birthday it’s the fact people used me as a punching bag as to why shit wasn’t done #this was supposed to be the last post I made but I said ‘fuck it’