#I just flat out don’t like them and I get uncomfortable around them or sad or frustrated

[tarrynightss]

Thinking about poor Ghost losing his love…

Tw: major character death, blood

The apartment was completely quiet as Simon stepped in, relocking the door behind himself as he always did, pushing down the hood covering his face.

“Love? I’m home.”

He arched an eyebrow as he got no response. Usually you would run up to him, or at the very least call out to him from wherever you were. He called out your name as he stomped through the hallway, not bothering to take off his shoes as his heart started racing. Had you gone out without telling him? Had you fallen asleep? He opened the door to the living room, and all those thoughts turned into mere optimistic dreams.

You sat slumped on the couch, your hands laying flat beside you and your head hanging back at an uncomfortable angle. He didn’t even need to glance downwards at the blood spray or the dark puddle leaking out from under the couch. You were dead.

Simon stood frozen, staring at you, the reality not sinking in. It wasn’t you. It was just another corpse, like many he had seen before. It wasn’t you. Yet even as he repeated that mantra over and over again, his eyes watered up, light catching on the ring around your finger. The one he had used to propose to you to two months ago.

Your name left his throat in a strangled sob as he stumbled forward, crashing to his knee on the couch next to you. He gently cradled the back of your head, feeling his stomach churn at the sickening feeling of the blood and small yet noticeable hole under his fingers. He held you in his arms, taking in the almost peaceful look on your face as you blankly stared forward.

The sob that had been building up finally came out, and despite knowing he shouldn’t move you, he couldn’t find it in himself to care, crushing your motionless form against himself.

“No! No! God!”

He screamed as he pressed your bloodied head against his hoodie, stroking your hair from your face like it might bother you. This was because of him. There was no note, but he was certain of it. Someone had sniped you, clean and from afar, right through the large apartment window. It could’ve been Simon’s job, expertly done.

The sobs he let out wrecked his whole body, hugging you tighter and tighter against himself. The hard reality was right in front of him, yet he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around it. Just seven hours ago he had seen you, smiling brightly and kissing his cheek as he left. He should’ve stayed, should’ve been the one to take the bullet, but instead he had left as he always did. ‘I’m worried this job will one day cost you your life, Simon.’ He remembered your words, how you had frowned in sorrow at the thought. You were right. He had lost his life, his light, his everything.

Your skin was already cold as he pressed a weeping kiss to your forehead, fingers swiping gently over your eyelids to close them forever.

“I’m sorry, god, I’m so sorry.”

He pressed his forehead against yours, whispering apologies over and over again like it would change anything. As god knows how long passed, his grief started to get laced with anger, which grew and grew until he was gritting his teeth. Whoever did this would pay. They would suffer, over and over again till it was no longer possible to keep them alive. It would be a small comfort to the pain he felt, but he owed you this much. He owed you revenge.

Slowly, he put your body down on the couch, laying you flat like you were sleeping. It pained him greatly to leave you here, but he had to act fast. He would make sure someone picked up your body and had it taken care of. Before he left, he took your ring from your finger, stuffing it in the pocket over his heart.

“I’m sorry, love, don’t be sad, I won’t be long.”

With that promise, he left, rage and a burning need for revenge making his rattled body move. One step at a time, and then one stab at the time.

#tw: death #tw: character death #tw: blood #call of duty x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost cod #cod #cod x reader #simon riley #call of duty #angst #cod angst

[loveharlow]

ajax x vamp!reader who turns into a bat & cuddles up to ajax whenever she’s anxious & he either keeps her on his beanie (comfy for her), on his chest (if he’s lying down), in his hands or in his jacket pocket<3

I really hope you like this bc I do, this request was too cute. This isn't really a blurb but it's not a full fic either. Would this be considered a drabble? Mini-fic?

“JAX! AJAX! HELP ME!” Ajax turned his head at the sound of me wailing through the courtyard, the few people around turning their heads to look at me — the girl who was sprinting full speed towards her boyfriend.

I didn’t slow down as I grew closer, causing me to tumble into him as he wrapped his arms around me. A puff of air left his lips as I crashed into his chest. I was breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath while moving in his arms to try and look behind me.

“What’s wrong?” He chuckled, looking down at me. My eyes were wide and my lips were parted, I probably looked crazy and paranoid and, in a sense, I was.

“I was looking for Wednesday in her and Enid’s dorm-” I started, speaking through labored, deep breaths. “-And I accidentally broke one of the keys on her typewriter when I almost tripped over Thing because I didn’t see him and now Wednesday is power walking after me like Micheal Myers and she looks like she wants to kill me-”

“Slow down...” He coaxed, rubbing one hand up and down my back for comfort. “You gotta calm down before-”

“Y/n.” A flat, feminine voice perked up from behind me. Ajax and I were too busy talking to one another that neither of us noticed Wednesday, in all of her dark glory, approaching us. At the sound of her voice, knowing she was most likely mere inches behind me, I gasped and all of sudden I was out of Ajax’s arms and floating mid-air.

Shit.

Ajax sighed and tipped his head to the side to look at Wednesday. “Look at what you did.” He said exasperatedly, throwing his arms out.

The girl simply quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “This? Has nothing to do with me. She damaged my typewriter. I didn’t even know she could do…” She examined by small, winged, floating form. “This.”

“It’s not by choice.” Ajax informed the girl, cupping his hands for me to land in them. I flew over to his joined palms and rested in them. “Not all the time anyway. It happens when she gets anxious. I’ve been trying to help her, though. This is a small setback…”

Wednesday scanned me with her eyes for a few more moments before blankly shrugging her shoulders. “Well, I apologize for startling you.” She spoke, then pointed her finger at my figure in Ajax’s hands. “But you will fix my typewriter.” She said sternly before turning on her heel and walking away.

Then Ajax was lifting his hands to his eye level, me turning around to face him. “Y’know, I know this sucks for you,” He started. “But you’re really cute like this. Not saying you’re not cute all the time-”

I put my head down and shook it in disappointment. “Don’t shake your head at me, I was being nice.” He said in his defense. Sometimes, I wish I could speak like this but unfortunately, that doesn’t come with the perks of being a vampire.

Suddenly, the bell was ringing and only then did I realize the school day was still ongoing which meant that-

“I know you hate this…” Ajax started, pity in his eyes. I could feel my tiny bat ears fall and my eyes fall sad. He was going to have to put me in his pocket until I changed back — which would take a few hours seeing as I still had no control over it. He looked up and around to see the swarms of students coming out of their classes to go to the next.

Looking back at me, he had a sorry expression on his face. “I love you. Sorry.” Was all he said before he gently slid me in his pocket. It wasn’t uncomfortable or unfamiliar. It was just nerve-wracking because when he first started to carry me around like this, he forgot I was in his pocket one time and threw his jacket into his hamper.

It was actually quite comfortable there. It was warm and soft and surprisingly easy to breathe. 

It wasn’t long before Ajax settled down into class, where I was supposed to be as well. Quietly informing the teacher of my predicament as to not tell the whole class, an act which I silently thanked him for before dozing off in his pocket.

I WOKE UP, STILL IN THE COMFORT OF AJAX'S POCKET, TO THE FEELING OF FINGERS INVADING THE SPACE. Realizing that class had probably ended long ago, along with the school day, I crawled into the hand and held steady as Ajax introduced me back to the comfort of the outside — the sun beaming in my sore, tired eyes as I shielded them with my wings. 

He seemed to be standing in the yard near where the Poe Cup is held, his usual spot to meet up with Xavier after school.

Speaking of the devil, said boy was making his way over to us. His eyes squinting in confusion the closer he got, trying to decipher what Ajax was holding in his hands. When he came to a stop in front of us, he was trying his best to hold back laughter.

Even in my current state, I managed to roll my eyes. You see, Xavier and I were friends but our friends would like to describe us as having a brother-sister type bond. However, this meant that Xavier tended to tease me and be a pain in my ass constantly.

“Again?” He wheezed out.

Ajax stood back shaking his head at his hysterical friend. I, however, decided that Xavier didn’t deserve to laugh at my misfortune. So, during his fit of laughter, I took off from Ajax’s hand, him desperately reaching for me and having no idea what I was up to, and began to swarm around Xaviers head.

His laughter switched to him frantically trying to swat me away as Ajax was the one laughing now and I would be too if I weren't, y’know. I wanted to annoy Xavier as much as possible, flying by his ears, messing with his hair.

“Jax, man, get your murderous girlfriend!-” Xavier pleaded, still swatting aimlessly.

“Alright, alright,” Ajax started, shaking off his amusement as he motioned his hand to wave me back over. “I think he’s got it, love.”

Stopping my harmless assault on the artistic boy, I made my way back to Ajax, perching myself on the top of his beanie as Xavier stood back fixing his hair, shooting me a playful glare. “I will see you and your vicious animal later.” He said in mock-anger before heading off.

I couldn’t see his face but I could tell his eyes were looking up, trying to look at me on top of his head. “Y’know he’s going to kill me for that, right?”

Even though he received no response, he chuckled and moved his head around a bit, signaling me to move onto another part of him. I chose his shoulder. “I can’t wait until you change back. You're going to make me public enemy number one.”

©loveharlow

#ajax petropolus wednesday addams #ajax petropolus wednesday #ajax petropolus x fem!reader #ajax petropolus x you #ajax petropolus x y/n #ajax petropolis x reader #ajax x reader #ajax petropolus #ajax petropolus x reader #ajax petropolus x normie!reader #ajax petropolis x you #wednesday netflix #wednesday fanfic #wednesday #wednesday (2022)

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Hurt

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, being mean to each other, fighting, fluff ending

------------------------

You normally didn’t mind, you really didn’t. His little quips and remarks usually made you laugh. But as of late they were making you uncomfortable, beyond that they were making you sad. You were sure he meant no harm but nevertheless harm was caused. Like little paper cuts on your heart. Today had hurt especially. He dodged your morning kiss, making a face that you could only describe as disgust. He made you the butt of most jokes. You didn’t even stay in his tent at night anymore because he never came to you, staying out all night doing gods know what or sleeping away from you. 

“You have a type don’t you? Elven prostitutes… honestly darling it’s pathetic.” Astarion said as you finished speaking with the drow twins. His voice was unimpressed and dismissive of you. 

Your face fell and you felt your eyes grow wet. You handed Karlach the crude map the drows gave you, leading to the wine festival you were to attend in order to stop a series of murders. “Were done for the day.” you said stoically, leaving Sharess’ Caress. The sun was just beginning to dip down behind the mountains. You waved your hand, golden flakes enveloping you. Your armor was gone and you were left in simple clothes. A hand clasped your shoulder, stopping you from walking.

“Love…” Astarion started.

You cut him off, “Leave me alone.” you said, harshly shrugging his hand off your shoulder and shoving him away. You turned and started to walk off again. Ever persistent, he followed you. He grabbed your wrist with a much softer grasp but you were having none of it. Gold flowed from your hand, forming a small dagger. You yanked your hand away before pointing the knife at his throat, “I won’t ask again.” you spat at him. His face contorted. He looked hurt, wounded by your words and actions. And honestly, you felt good. He was finally feeling what had been building up in you for weeks. 

He watched you disappear in the crowds of Baldur’s Gate. What had he done? He knew exactly what. He was not kind to you as of late. This bitter pit inside of him had him acting irrationally. He knew exactly what it was. He loved you so he was trying to push you away. And by the looks of it, he was succeeding. He sighed, dropping his head. You needed space, so he would give it to you. He returned to camp with the others. He anxiously awaited your return, trying to come up with what he would say to you. 

-----------------------------

You wandered the city, not sure where you were trying to end up. You just wanted to be away. Eventually you made it out of the city and into the wilderness. You sat on the edge of a cliff. You watched the ocean below crash against the rock over and over again. You finally shed your tears. You tried not to blame yourself but you had no idea what had changed in him. You knew what you had to do, now you just needed to gather the courage to do it. You were the leader, you had to be strong. 

Deep into the night you returned to camp. Astarion watched you walk to your tent. You lit a few candles, your tent illuminating him as he edged closer. You were taking your trousers off when he walked in. You pulled them back up with a huff and pulled your large shirt down to cover you.

“Hardly the first time I’ve seen you without clothes…” said Astarion, trying to lighten the mood.

“That was the past.” you said in a flat voice before you pushed past him to grab your brush. You brushed your hair in the mirror, acting as if he was invisible.

Astarion’s undead heart felt like it was trembling. You weren’t upset, you were angry. He had never seen you angry and he had a feeling he was about to experience a side of you he was unprepared to meet. 

“Darling…” he started, reaching towards you.

You turned around, dodging his hand. “No. You don’t get to call me that anymore.” you said confidently, yet inside your heart was breaking.

Astarions face turned soft, scared. “What should I call you then?”

“Y/N. I am nothing to you beyond a traveling companion, so treat me as such.” your face was cold, your eyes were sharp.

“My sweet, please…” he said. You shot him a glare for the pet name but he persisted. “Y/N…” 

“Do you have anything of value to say? If not, I need rest.” you sauntered over to your bedroll, half expecting him to leave. With the way he was treating you, he should be jumping at the chance to leave. 

“I’m sorry.” he said in a small voice. 

You had never heard him like that, even in his softer moments. You forced your eyes to meet his and noticed the lone tear falling down his cheek. “Were nothing to each other Astarion, you hardly have anything to be sorry for. You should go.” you said, doing your best to keep up the facade. 

“No!..” he blurted. You quirked an eyebrow at him. “... please just let me say my piece… If you still want me to go afterwards, I will without fuss.” 

You sighed before nodding at him.

“I’m sorry… for everything. I’ve acted monstrously towards you as of late. I… I love you… and I’m so scared I didn’t know what to do… I tried to push you away. But once you were gone… everything felt worse. I don’t know what to do… but I do know I’m sorry for hurting you.” he said in a calm tone but you could hear the slight panic. 

“You love me?” you asked him, unsure if you heard him right. 

“More than you can imagine.” he said with the smallest smile.

“You fucking idiot...” you mumbled. 

His smile completely dropped off, he nodded curtly as he turned to walk out. You grabbed his wrist, turning him towards you before you crashed your lips to his. He let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he was holding. He squeezed you close to him, holding your face in his hands, scared you would disappear if he didn’t. 

“You’re a fucking moron… but you’re my fucking moron.” you kissed him again. You wiped a tear from his face, he nuzzled his head into your hand. 

“I’m so sorry…” he whispered. 

You shushed him, “We were both rash, we both made judgment errors. I’m sorry too.” you kissed his cheeks. “Let's go to bed?”

“My sweet, I’d like nothing more.” he smiled at you, hugging you close before descending to the bedroll with you. “And if I’m honest, you holding a knife to my throat was rather… erotic.” He said with lust in his voice and a wink of his eye.

--------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello! I love a little angst so here we go! Hope you all enjoy, love you all so much! XOXOXOXOXO!!!

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #bg3 #writing #gale of waterdeep #bg3 wyll #karlach #lae'zel #isekai #fanfiction #fanfics #ao3 fanfic #archive of our own #ao3 writer #ao3fic #bg3 gale #bg3 fanart #bg3 tav #bg3 spoilers #bg3 astarion #bg3 art #baldurs gate #tav #baldurs gate gale #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate fanart #baldurs gate iii #baldurs gate tav #gameplay

[peachesofteal]

Alone / Chapter 2

Part eight of the Sassy series.

Simon Riley/female reader 4.4k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ Minors DNI, panic attacks, angst, PTSD, trauma, blood and torture, hospitals, emotional hurt/comfort, medical stuff, coparenting, relationship issues, reader is going through it, soft dad Simon Riley. You’re living in a nightmare.

Blood has a distinct smell. To many, it’s the pungent minerality that turns their senses but to you, it’s the tang of the metal that makes your lip quiver. It’s the saltlick iron that makes you press your tongue to the roof of your mouth and breathe through your nose slowly, an effort to try to prevent the tossing of your stomach. 

Here, the scent is everywhere. On the walls. On your face. On your clothes. There was a puddle of it, beneath your knees. It’s a combination of yours and nameless others, their blood one of the only things left of them in the world, seeping into the fabric of your jeans, staining the concrete blocks of-

“Mrs. Riley?” Your doctor, your therapist, looks at you expectantly over the rim of her glasses, and you huff. “Where were you just now?” You try not to scowl. Be honest. You’re supposed to be honest. 

“The room.”

“Where you were being held?” You nod. You force your fingers flat against your thighs, beating back the urge to scratch your nails against your skin. “And what were you thinking, about the room?”

“I was remembering what all the blood smelled like. What it tasted like.” To her credit, your shrink doesn’t flinch. She holds your gaze steady, until you are the one looking away, glancing over her shoulder at the clock that always seems to move too slow.

You’ve tried this once, already. Tried to get her to crack, to push you off. Tried to get her to cower, or recommend you speak to someone else. She’s stronger than you originally thought, you’ll her give her that, but you supposed it didn’t hurt that she’s been having twice weekly sessions with Simon when he’s not away on an op for over two years now, and you’re well aware your dog and pony show are nothing compared to whatever he’s been telling her.

Simon Riley, the closed off ghost who wouldn’t even show you his face when he got you pregnant, turned father of the year who bent over backwards for his wife, now goes to therapy, and meditates when he’s out on ops.

“Do you remember how you felt, when you were in that room?” Oh, for fucks sake. You nod, lips pressed into a line. “Can you tell me?”

“Worried.”

“Worried about what?”

“Theo. And Simon.”

“Not for yourself?” You shrug. Your lungs hurt, like they’re being constricted, and you look down to your shoes.

“Can we talk about something else?” You say it to your laces, not to her, but you know she hears it when her pen clicks and the scratch of the tip scrawls across her pad.

“How is co-parenting going?” Your head snaps up, and you smother the glare that pulls at the edges of your face.

“It’s fine.”

“You and Simon are communicating alright?” Jesus christ. 

“Mostly.” You shrug and don’t elaborate. She nods at your silence, an indication she wants you to keep going. You grit your teeth. “Sometimes, he calls, or texts and I don’t answer him. Or I don’t answer him in a timely manner.” Your fingers make air quotes around the timely manner bit.

“Why is that?”

“It’s… hard to explain.”

“Are you uncomfortable with the communication?”

“No!” you rush out. “No, no of course not… I want him to see Theo as much as possible. I just feel, mixed up. So, when I see him, or hear from him, it makes those mixed-up feelings feel… more intense. More mixed up.”

“Can you name a few of those feelings?” You close your eyes and picture Simon’s face. You see him holding Theo’s hand in the supermarket or pushing him on the swing set in the park. You see him in bed beside you, before, eyes soft and full of love, his smile beautiful and easy on his lips. Unburdened. 

“Sadness.” You pause to take a deep breath. “Sadness and anger, confusion. Guilt.” The pen scribbles on paper when you pause, and you glance up at the clock. Bingo. “Looks like we’re out of time.” You supply, smiling at her cheerily when she narrows her eyes, and then writes something down before giving you a nod.

The man says your name.

Not Sassy. Not Sass.

Your real name, before he tuts in your face, like you’ve let him down.

“Yer da ‘d be real disappointed in ye.” Saliva builds in the back of your throat.

“Don’t talk about my father.” You hiss and he outright laughs.

“Still fightin’ even when broken.” His fingers fold over the wound in your arm, pressing into the open, infected flesh, digging against it with his fingernails and the pain burns, it scrapes across your skin like a million little knives. “Maybe ye’re not so worthless after all, eh?” You launch the spit into his eye, grim satisfaction creeping over you when he staggers back in surprise, rage brewing across his face before he’s gripping you by the collarbone and thrusting you backwards, tipping the metal chair until you’re slamming into the ground, your head bouncing on blood slick concrete like a child’s ball.

“Stupid bitch.” His leg draws backwards until he’s firing the toe of his boot into your stomach, kicking you once, twice before you’re gasping for air, pain blooming across your abdomen as he batters you.

You close your eyes, and think of Theo. You think of Simon, of the two of them together. At home, safe. You pull the string of a memory until it comes to the forefront of your mind, Theo’s first words, his first steps. His second birthday party, when Johnny bought him that obnoxious drum set, and Simon bent you over the couch after Theo went to bed. The day you got married, your first wedding anniversary, the hotel room in Florence. You slip into these memories like they’re real and try to block out the smell of the blood and the pain in your body, try to drown in the shadows of your old self, your past, while you lose everything to the present, over and over again.

The little house is quiet when you get home in the afternoon.

At first it doesn’t bother you. Theo is with his dad for the night, already been picked up from school and probably taken to the park, his favorite Friday activity. Si will probably get him pizza, because he spoils him endlessly, and he’ll let him fall asleep while they cuddle on the couch and watch some awful kid’s show. You can see it, in your mind, the image of Theo in the crook of Simon’s elbow where he still fits, his little arm stretched across his dad’s ribs, Simon with his feet on the coffee table.

It rips your heart apart. The swell of emotion is strong enough that tears pool in your eyes, dripping down over your cheeks while you curl up into a ball on your own couch, blanket tucked up under your chin. You did this. You are a nightmare. You did this to yourself. You press your palm to your lips and scream into it, smothering the sound as best you can, your throat turning raw with each breath. Your body shakes with sobs until you’re exhausted and your eyes slip shut, tears still webbed in your lashes, while the sun shines through your living room window. 

Your phone jolts you awake a few hours later, your hands scrambling to find where you’ve lost it in the couch, the realization that it’s going to be Theo breaking through the heavy weight of your misery. Must be close to bedtime. When you slide open the facetime call, he’s grinning at you, little dab of red sauce on his chin.

“Mum!” he shouts, glee coloring the word and you smile back at him easily, hastily rubbing your face to erase the evidence of your state. “Dad got ‘izza!”

“I see that.” A big thumb drifts in front of the camera to wipe the glob of red away and Theo giggles.

“Say goodnight.” Simon says in the background and Theo pauses, little eyebrows creased in confusion before he recovers and looks back to the phone.

“Goodnight mum. Luh you.”

“Love you too bug. Have fun with dad.” The phone shifts, darkness covering the camera for a second before it’s righted, and Simon’s face fills the frame. Your stomach clenches.

“His mates from school are all gonna be at the fields tomorrow morning. I told him I’d take him, if it's alright with you.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Thanks.” You can see him studying you through the screen.

“Everything alright?” his tone shifts, takes on something softer, something sweeter, something that feels like a memory, and your chest tightens.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”

“If you need-“

“I’m fine.” You snap. He sighs.

“Alright then. Goodnight, Sass.”

“Night.”

“There she is, see?” Simon points, and Theo frowns when he sees you, lower lip tugging downward, his face confused before he looks back to his dad, burying his face in his chest with a cry.

“Hey bug. Come here.” You hold your arms out to him, but he just cries into Simon, the scared wailing splitting you open and pouring concrete into your lungs, so it feels like you’ve got an entire building sitting on your chest. “It’s okay baby.” You call, hands still waiting, voice edging on desperate. You want your baby. You want to hold him, to feel him in your arms and know he’s okay, that he’s here, that Simon’s here, and you’re here and there is no danger, nothing to fear. Simon steps closer to you, his emotions raw across his face, and Theo screams in his arms, legs kicking ferociously.

“It’s mum, Theo. Stop. Look.” Simon tries but it’s no use. You know Theo is terrified of you, your battered and bruised face, the wires and tubes that are connected to your chest and the IV that’s stuck in the back of your hand. Your brain buzzes, a low droning noise between your ears making your head spin and you call Theos’ name with a croak.

“NO!” Theo shrieks, he screams it at the top of his lungs and Simon looks lost as you stare wordlessly, hands reaching out into the void, begging to hold your son that doesn’t even recognize you.

You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel the tears drop down onto the arm that’s folded across your abdomen.

The door slides open, and Johnny appears, pulling Theo from Simon’s arms, patting his back softly and giving you a sympathetic look.

“C’mon lad, let’s go get a lolly, yeah? Give mum and dad some time.” Theo hugs his uncle around his neck, and heaves little sobs into his skin while Johnny shushes him and carries him back out the door.

“I-“ you choke on whatever it was you were going to say, the buzzing in your head so, so loud that it drowns out your thoughts, covers up your feelings until you’re pressing the heels of your palms to your eyes.

Knuckles tap against the glass, Johnny’s face appearing in the window.

“I’ll be right back.” Simon assures you, leaving his foot in the door while he talks to Johnny, their voices fuzzy, and suddenly, the world is tilting and all you can smell is blood.

The buzzing in your head is ferocious, a searing sharpness that feels like a lobotomy, your mind screaming inside your head. The stitches in your skin burn, and you swear you can feel each cell trying to pull closed, the sticky edges of your wounds slowly seaming back together, sealing shut everything inside of you, trapping the buzzing away within your own body so you’ll never be able to pull it out.

You need to go home. You have to get out of here. You can’t stay here. You have to get home. Where everything is safe. Where there is no danger.

You fidget with your central line, trying to unclick, unscrew it until you’re just tugging on it as hard as you can without making a sound, pain throbbing into the hole that’s been created for the port as you start to pull the sticky pads off your lower rib cage. The noises in the room are going berserk, bells and whistles chiming and beeping while the buzzing in your head gets louder and louder, and your fingers dig into your IV, trying to rip it from your skin before Simon is grabbing your hand.

“I have to get out of here.” You tell him. He’ll understand. You know he will.

“Bloody hell Sass, stop.” Your fingers are still scratching away, trying to crawl towards the IV, the last thing tethering you to this place, keeping you from your family, and you push against the pressure holding you still. The buzzing in your head is screaming now, louder than Simon’s voice, louder than the frantic beeping of the machines that have lost their leads.

“Let me go! I ha- have to go. I have to get out.” Simon tries to grab your other hand but you’re too quick, nimble and lithe like you always have been, and you latch onto the needle in your skin, ripping it free, blood trickling down your arm and dripping across your thin hospital gown. Heavy hands grab your shoulders and press you back against the bed.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.”  His elbow pins your collarbone down while his hand comes up to cradle your face. “Everything’s alright.” What? No, it isn’t. It’s not alright. This is certainly not alright. Can’t he hear that noise? You shake your head vehemently and he tries to hold you steady. 

“No. N-no, no, Simon. I have to go. Please, we have to go.” The door swings open and a man in blue scrubs with a badge walks through, a nurse at his side, capped syringe in her hand. Your stomach roils. “Simon.” You plead as you eye them, their slow steps bringing them closer and closer to you, and you shift on the bed, up against your husband, trying to bury yourself in his body, hide from whatever the people in scrubs are going to do. “Simon, we have to go home. Please, we need to get home.” 

“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” He strokes the hair away from your face, and you realize he’s got tears in his eyes, his gaze heavy and sad, and your own eyes widen in fear when you feel a new set of hands on your body.

“Get off me!” you scream, thrashing in the bed, Simon trying to talk to you, trying to calm you while the man in scrubs pins your arms down.

“Don’t hold her like that.” He snarls, and the foreign hands on your body adjust, letting your forearms go loose while the pinch of a needle punctures your skin. “It’s alright, I promise.” Simon’s voice breaks. “I’m here, Sass. I’m right here. You’re safe, you’re safe, I swear.” The needle pulls free of your arm and the world shifts, bright light blowing out the edges of your vision until your eyes are slipping closed, Simon’s face the last thing you see before everything goes dark.

It's three in the morning. The dark and stormy nightmares that keep you under in your sleep have finally slipped away, and you’re staring at your bedroom ceiling while your brain turns a mile a minute until you’re reaching for your phone.

Your thumb hovers over Simon’s contact for too long, way too long while you think about what it might be like to hear his voice before you’re scrolling to the next name and clicking the digits.

The phone rings and you try not the count it, try not to think about what you’re doing and the line clicks open to a bleary, sleepy Scotsman saying hello.

When you don’t say anything back, you can hear him sitting up.

“Sassafras?” Johnny tries, and you blow out a breath.

“It’s me.”

“Ya okay?” No. 

“Yeah.” He sighs, and then starts to tell you about his day, his family, what he’s been doing in his off time. It’s not the first time you’ve called him in the middle of the night, and probably won’t be the last, and he knows it. He fills your head with mindless details, funny stories about his latest op and the 141, other things he thinks you’ll want to hear. You never talk, just listen, and he does a good job of distracting you from whatever it is that’s going on in your head until you’re chuckling on the other end of the line, spirit just a hair lighter than it was when you called.

“Thanks, Johnny.” You murmur into the phone.

“Anytime. One more thing-“

“Yeah?”

“Call your husband next time, yeah?” Prick.

“Bye, Soap.”

“Bye Sassy. Love ya. Kiss the wee lad for me.”

“I will.”

At ten in the morning, the doorbell rings. Even though he has a key, he won’t use it, just waits patiently for you to open the door, not wanting to encroach on your boundaries.

Theo runs straight at your legs when you open it, and you scoop him up in a big hug until he’s complaining, insisting you put him down and let him show you the picture that’s clutched in his hand, something he drew last night.

“That’s you!” he points to a sloppy stick figure that’s holding hands with a little stick figure, a bigger stick figure on its other side. “an’ that’s me and that’s dad!” His eyebrows raise and you rub his head affectionately.

“Good job, you’re a real artist!”

“Put it on fridge?” As soon as you nod your approval he takes off, running towards the kitchen, leaving you and Simon in the living room, the straps of his backpack fisted in his dad’s hand.

“Johnny called me this morning.” You draw a quick breath before letting it out slowly. Traitorous bastard. “If you want me to take him for the rest of the day so you can get some rest-“

“I’m fine. Thanks, though.” Simon sets the backpack down, and you hear the click and clack of the alphabet magnets against the stainless steel.

“You can… call me, too. If you want. If you need… someone to talk to.” You expect to rebuff him immediately, to snap at him, to tell him you don’t need to talk to anyone, let alone him. You want to. You want to keep taking it out on him, keep dumping it on him, over and over until there’s so much of it between the two of you that he’ll never find his way back. Why would he want to? After everything you’ve put him through? You’re broken. Useless. 

“Why?” you blurt, and it surprises you. Looks like it surprises him too.

“You’re my wife, Sass. I love you.” Your skin feels hot and your heart thumps loudly in your ears. “Your trauma, the torture, what happened after… nothin’ is ever gonna change that.” You scoff, anger flickering in your veins, the heat of your irritation warming you from the inside out. 

“You can’t mean that. Not after… everything that’s happened.” He studies you for a long moment, eyes pinning you where you shift your weight uneasily, until he’s raising the back of his hand, holding it upright to display the ring. The ring, that he refuses to take off. The ring, that he still wears, even after you tossed your own at his head. The ring, that has your call sign and his last name initialed on the inside. 

“I will love and honor you all the days of my life.” He whispers it, and you swallow the lump in the back of your throat.

“Mum!” Theo yells, and you turn away, shoulders tight under your ears, fingers clenched together. “Mum, can we ‘ave popcorn?” Theo shouts again and you give him a tight-lipped smile when you reach the kitchen, your enthusiastic four-year-old trying to push a chair in front of the pantry.

“Popcorn?”

“Daddy said you might wanna watch a movie.” Theo pauses, eyes flicking between you, and his father, who you can just feel at your back, before he nods decisively, like he’s already determined that will be his next activity. “Moana?” He shrugs a little, face hopeful and you ruffle his hair.

“Sure, baby. We can watch Moana.” Your heart pangs when you realize that Simon probably told Theo you’d want a movie because he was thinking about how you didn’t sleep, how you might be too tired to go to the park or do something more involved. He’s still taking care of you, after everything. Still wears the ring, still calls you his wife, still tells you he loves you, he- 

“Can daddy stay?” The room suddenly feels devoid of oxygen. 

“I’m sure dad has things he’s got to do tod-“

“I don’t.” He cuts you off and you smother the glare that threatens to pull across your face. You look down at Theo, who’s so excited, so blissfully pleased at the idea, head shifting as he looks back and forth between the two of you and you crumble a little bit, unable to take his happiness away from him. You destroyed his family, why can’t you let him have this? Guilt sears across your skin, the pressure of it so intense that you’re nodding your agreement before you even realize it.

“Okay then.” Theo shouts with excitement and sprints to the couch.

“I can go, if you’re not comfortable.” Simon offers when he’s out of earshot and you shake your head.

“No, it’s fine. Makes him happy.”

“Mum! Make popcorn!” Theo calls to where the two of you still stand, an awkward distance apart in the kitchen.

“What did you forget?”

“Pwease?”

“Thank you, much better.” Your crinkle the thin plastic of the popcorn bag into the trash, the noise similar to the static that’s now playing in your head, before you clear your throat. “Want to uh, go get him settled? And then I’ll be in. In a minute.” Simon doesn’t respond, just disappears from the kitchen, and you focus on the minute countdown on the microwave while you take deep, long breaths, a desperate attempt to fill your lungs with as much oxygen as possible, until it beeps and you’re pulling the door open to dump the popped kernels doused in butter into a bowl.

You’re tracing the wood grain pattern in the living room floor between your feet when you distantly hear a voice, calling you over and over. It feels far away, impossibly far away, like you’re at the bottom of the ocean or you’re on another planet. 

“Hey, mum.” Simon’s voice draws you out of the depths sharply, and he strokes a gentle fingertip down your arm, over the pockmarked scar beneath your shoulder. The touch startles you, your head snapping up to see Theo standing in front of the coffee table in a red cape, construction paper mask, and Simon sitting delicately on the couch next to you. “Someone’s trying to show you something.” He inclines his head to the excited little boy, and you blink before shaking your head, trying to clear the fog that’s settled in your brain.

When it doesn’t, you shake your head again, and then look to Simon hopelessly. He reads you instantly, ushering Theo upstairs, enticing him with blocks and promises of story time later.

Blood. The scent of blood fills your nostrils, so strong that you think it might be dripping from your face, washing over your tongue, filling your mouth, filling the whole house.

Not real. It’s not real. You’re not there, you’re here. There is no danger.

Large palms cover yours, and then you’re looking up at Simon, his eyes soft, sympathetic, and you know he knows. You know he can see, what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. 

He can see it all, because he’s been here before, too. He’s survived, he’s fought, he’s lived.

But he’s never been… this. He’s never been a nightmare. Never been useless. Never been this broken like this, dirty and pathetic like this, weak like this. 

Simon was strong. He fought. You failed. You couldn’t even get back to him. Couldn’t get back to your baby, your family. 

You feel his touch again and you choke on a gasp.

You can’t let him touch you, he’ll know. He’ll see it. He’ll feel it.

“D-don’t.” you hiss, forcing a hand forward to hold him at bay.

“Shhh. It’s just me, Sass. I’ve got you.”

“No, n-no.” He can’t know. “No, I… I need” You stand, stumbling forward, catching yourself on the coffee table before straightening, Simon’s confused gaze tracking your every step while you put as much distance between the two of you as possible. “I need to lay down.”

When you cross into the living room, Simon’s sitting on the couch, Theo already snuggled up into his side, both watching the television intently. Theo looks so happy, his eyes light and joy filled, body weightless with love and the knowledge that he’s with his family.

His family, that you broke. That you destroyed. That you took from him.

Simon’s thighs are spread wide, their width in his jeans momentarily distracting you before you’re cataloguing his face, his lips, his eyes, the line of his nose, all things you used to know better than yourself, things you used to be able to trace in the dark. Your stomach flips, and the walls of your house look like they’re shaking, the buzzing noise in the back of your head roaring to life, drowning out the sound of Moana singing to sea.

“Mum?” Theo calls, hand out for the popcorn, and you deposit the bowl on the table before you’re backing away.

“I have to go fix something, in the kitchen really quick.” You explain to him, and he shrugs, eyes fixing back on the movie, fingers mindlessly bringing pieces of popcorn to his mouth.

Theo doesn’t notice when you take the stairs instead of turning into the kitchen, but you know Simon does, and you’re not surprised when he’s rapping his knuckles against your locked bedroom door, where you’re sitting with you back against the wood, hands pressed to your head, trying to control your breathing. He knocks again, but there’s only silence to answer him, and it stretches on for miles. 

“Sass?” you hear him shift, feel his weight press against the door and at first you think he’s trying to come through but then you realize, he’s sitting against the other side, just like you.

His fingers slide underneath where there’s a gap between the floor and the door, just wide enough for a few fingers, just enough for you to see the glint of his ring.

Without thinking, your own fingers cover his.

Neither of you speak.

#sassy series #simon x sass #peaches writes #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x female reader #ghost cod #ghost x reader #cod fanfic #cod mwii #cod mw2

[dontexpectmuch]

hii im obsessed with your writing like pls send help-

i was wondering if you could write a lil fic abt Jude where he and the reader have like a rlly cute relationship and they have special daily things (kiss before he leaves, cuddles when watching movies, etc) but then Jude breaks up with her bc she's too 'needy' and then he regrets it bc he misses her antics and its just a whole lot of angst. no fluff, bc your sad stories with sad endings are to die for ✨❤

where did you go wrong? were you really that clingy, needy even? did he feel uncomfortable, like he didn’t have enough space?

were all the kisses fake, something he did to please you?

“‘m leaving!” he yelled, standing by the door with his bag on his shoulders, leaving for training.

hearing his voice, you moved to him to kiss him goodbye, lips already puckered as you angled your head up, his lips finally meeting yours.

“take care and text me if you need anything, yeah?” you asked him, smile reaching your eyes.

jude fought the urge to roll his eyes, what could he possibly need when he was at training? however, he just nodded, telling you he would before closing the door behind him.

or what about the sweet nothings he’d whisper in your ear when you were cuddling on your couch, watching his favorite show. the way he’d hold you close, drawing loose shapes on your waist as he looked at you, smiling softly.

“i love you, you know?” his voice was soft, suitable for the current vibe.

he came back from training, immediately closing his arms around your body. even though you didn’t live together officially, it surly felt like it, since you spent most of your time together in your flat.

“i love you too, jude.” you said, head leaning against his shoulder, eyes looking at his.

surly, you weren’t the only one in this relationship that liked to cling on to their partner, trying to be as close to them as possible. jude also always had to touch you somehow, wether it was your waist, your shoulder or even your pinky finger.

if that was the case, why did he want to end the relationship then? everything seemed to be fine, where did that come from all of a sudden?

jude looked at you with empty eyes, no smile on his face, like he lost an important game. but, that wasn’t the case. these last few games only ended with positive results for the team. so, why all of a sudden?

“we should break up.” he began, voice stoic, sending shivers down your spine.

“huh?” did you hear wrong? what was he talking about?

“‘m bein’ serious, i don’t feel like bein’ in a relationship with you anymore.” he continued, stabbing you in the heart with every word that left his lips.

you shook your head lightly, as if trying to wake yourself up this nightmare. “i don’t understand, why? did something happen?”

jude sighed, he knew that it wouldn’t be easy, you were always like that, questioning his any and every move. “i need space, and it seems like you don’t want to give me enough. always clingin’ onto me like your life depends on it, y’know?”

you would have never thought that jude, your sweet and considerate jude, could ever be able to hurt you like that, making you feel small and questioning your relationship in ways you never did before.

“but-“

“please, just accept it and let go, will you? i’ll get the rest of my stuff some other day.” he cut you off, patience running thin as he gets up and leaves your home without even bidding goodbye.

he just left you, broken hearted, tears running down your cheeks as you desperately tried to comprehend what just happened.

now, months passed by and you slowly but steadily moved on from the break up, going as far as to dating a few people here and there. still, the thought of being in another committed relationship made you shiver, the scars still too fresh.

you were once again in your flat, typing away on your laptop as the sudden noise of your doorbell pulled you out of your concentrated state. sighing, you leave your desk and move to the front door, opening it without checking first, a huge mistake.

there he stood, in all his pride, looking down at you with an uncertain look in his eyes. he was wearing some tracksuit and a beanie, maybe coming here after training. you wouldn’t know, however not knowing about his growing success wasn’t as easy as you thought.

while you tried your best to move on from jude, he made it quite hard for you. his face plastered on posters on the street, multiple pictures of him online on your feed and what not. it made you boil internally, mad at the universe for doing that to you.

“hey.” jude is the first to speak up, not being able to bear the awkward silence hovering between any longer.

“did you forget something here?” is all you reply, coldness radiating from you as you stood firmly on your spot.

what was he doing here?

“i miss you, i miss us.” he mumbled, face looking down, yet his eyes peaked though his lashes, scanning your face for any reaction to his words.

scoffing, you roll your eyes and try to close the door, however jude reacts fast and puts his foot between the frame and door, hindering you from hiding yourself from him.

“please,” he almost begs, desperation laced in his voice, “i was an idiot, i didn’t think clearly. i mistook your love for clinginess.”

“am i supposed to care?” you wanted to laugh.

did he really think you’d forgive him? after what he has put you through? you weren’t dumb nor blind, you have seem all the posts of him with various women in clubs or on the street, kissing, touching and much more.

“i’m not some bed warmer, jude. i won’t wait for you to play around a bit and then come back, especially not after how you ended things.” you tell him, eyes stern.

jude sighed, closing his eyes to compose himself before he spoke up, “i know, but i changed. after all this time i came to realize that i can’t do it without you, please, babe-“

“don’t call me that, i have a name, you know?” you interrupted, shaking your head, “don’t call me in general, jude. leave me alone.”

this time, you shut the door completely, turning your back and leaning against it as you inhaled deeply.

this is not how you imagined your saturday night to be like, but whatever.

though it hurt, rejecting the man that you once called the love of your life, you also felt really proud for staying true to yourself.

yes, you missed him, dearly, and seeing him again resurfaced some of the feelings you still had. but you proved to yourself that you were on the right path.

you were moving on.

————————————————

fuck sleep

#football one shot #football x reader #x reader #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you #football #jude bellingham fluff

[this-is-fox-speaking]

FANTOCCIO FACTS POST (from screenshots i found in my own interests server)

- His name is italian for puppet, but he pronounces it incorrectly and insists it’s the correct way to say his name if anyone else points it out and says he’s wrong.

- He’s not from Italy, obviously. Goes to show. But Ash imagines he knows a bit of italian. (“Not enough Italian to say his name right.” - Katie.)

- Fantoccio has a pet shark named Sharkspeare! Mentioned in the song at the line “‘Cause Sharkspeare’s looking mean!”

- Fantoccio has to make all his own props, set pieces, clothes, etc in the theatre.

- Would never smoke, and would hate being around it/people who’re doing it actively.

- Fantoccio was made by Ash as a fan OC for the game, and this (as far as I’m aware) is what got them hired onto the game, cause Katie loved their ideas so much.

- Fantoccio is not very good with kids.

- Fantoccio’s favorite food is churros. This came from the fact Ash once had a dream about him infodumping about them cause he loved them so much, so they made it canon.

- Don’t worry, he can indeed taste things normally. No traditional taste buds, but some, nonetheless. Same goes for touch!

- Fantoccio is canonically autistic, having many traits of himself heavily projected from Ash, themself.

- When asked what his meltdown triggers could be, Ash thought that some might be: too much touching, being without his hat, or one of his props breaking.

- Fantoccio likes wearing dresses! Wears them if he feels like it or if the role calls for it, during a play.

- Ash thinks he’d ADORE snow.

- Fantoccio would 100% love spicy italian from subway.

- Fantoccio plays violin!

- Fantoccio would chant “I’m sleeping” when struggling to fall asleep, like his own version of counting sheep.

- He would NEVER say the Earth is flat.

- He’d be the “How do you do that” of that one keysmash meme, if paired with Barnaby.

- Ash once said that Fantoccio is like Duck from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

- When doing a personality type test (and actually answering truthfully instead of in character) for Fantoccio, he ended up with ENTJ-T, Commander. Fanto would answer untruthfully on some questions, like if he ever gets insecure (“PFFFT NO THE ANSWERS NO”).

- He can go uwu in the bbu lore, but he’ll hate it. (“THIS IS STUPID!!!”)

- Fantoccio would apparently be a “mac and cheese FIEND.”

- He’d hate pranks (specifically a hand zapper in this case), because they’re unexpected. (“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN”)

- This also means he’d never troll anyone, cause he feels above that.

- Fanto would HATE hearing people crack their knuckles, like Ash does.

- Fantoccio loves to carve wood. Specifically only by hand, that’s how much he loves it! He carved the two giant wooden hands used in his battle, but his favorite thing to carve is ducks.

- Fantoccio is very intent on ONLY eating the few foods he knows he likes.

- If he were an ice cream, he’d be coffee flavor! Which is ironic, because Ash has also said that it’d probably be terrible to give Fantoccio caffeine.

- Fantoccio would LOVE chicken nuggets.

- Hates pizza, though. Too greasy and messy.

- Would enjoy having an ipad “a little too much. He would be super confused at first but once he learns how to use it DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY”. (kinda like Peridot from Steven Universe)

- He would like spruce wood in Minecraft, but also acacia “just to look at.”

- Ash adores pirates, so so does Fantoccio!

- He has no nose, so no sneezes!

- Appreciates detail as much as Barnaby does.

- Fanto would love birds!

- Fanto is not capable of curse words. Sad.

- Fantoccio would COLLAPSE trying to lift someone without his powers.

- He stims by patting his face and spinning around. Fidgets with his hands in concepts for his standing idle animations, because he’s uncomfortable with standing and prefers floating.

- He’d favor Murder Mystery!

- His wood is alive and can grow like a real boy! (if you’ve seen my post being reblogged around, lol)

- He lives in the lost city of magic, which is abandoned and overrun my magical zombies who used to be magic users, now with a terrible curse. So he lives mainly in his theatre. He’s not trapped, anymore, like his old story!

- Fantoccio’s powers are based around telekinesis and teleportation. It’s how he moves his body around!

- He used to have a plush toy rabbit he carried around, when he was younger, seemingly. It’s unclear where that went, when he got older.

- Fantoccio’s been locked up in this city for 15 years, since he was 8. Completely isolated (save for those zombies, I suppose)! When Billie comes along, though, he’s so excited to have something new to play with!

- Fanto’s song is inspired by Weird Al. Like 90% of this game is, of course /lh. He was also inspired by the pied piper!

- He’d dislike the idea of seafood. (“He’d be like “Why would anyone want to eat a fish?!” And cover Sharkspeare’s nonexistent ears like “Don’t listen to them!””)

- The red feather in his hat is also used as a pen!

- Fantoccio is a being of pure magic, having an entire magic gem be his whole life source. This means he can use magic endlessly without getting tired (I believe)!

- Fantoccio is 23, he/him, and pansexual.

- His face is made using magic. It disappears when/if he’s magic-less.

- Fantoccio can absolutely feel pain.

- When it comes to nature, Ash said he’d kinda be like Rarity from MLP:FiM, but certain kinds of nature he’d still really love. He’d really dislike walking through the wild or camping in general, but loves things like snow or flower fields. Just depends!

- Fantoccio would main Bowser in Mario Kart.

-In terms of favorite Halloween treats, Fantoccio would like anything chewy and fruity (no chocolate)!

- Canonically wears eyeliner.

- Magic sparks from his fingertips when he’s very excited!

- If Fantoccio was an animal, Ash says he’d be a cat.

- No traditional gross human stuff inside him like others, just wood and sap. “Whatever trees do.”

- His original concept by Ash was him having a purple phantom head, being a ghost in a puppet’s body. This was changed by Katie, I believe.

(feel free to add on if I missed anything! i’ll edit this post if i randomly remember something)

#bbu facts #so ppl can block the long posts coming up in main #billie bust up #bbu fantoccio #EDIT: FOR SOME REASON THIS GOT AUTO LABELED OR SMTHN AS MATURE?? #FIXED IT NOW BUT THAT WAS WEIRD

[blairrwaldorfs]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: Part 5 is here! This is the last part I left off before I deleted the old blog, so I will be working on part 6 this week! Comments are always welcome! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+, smutty-ish

Wordcount: 4.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

The sound of papers shuffling on the table and the low volume of the television behind you was the only sound echoing through the flat as you watched Sara sign all the last few paper works that she needed to do for her and Abby’s adoption. You decided to visit their place and help them out with everything they needed to prepare since Abby was busy at the art gallery. Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was stay in your own place after the night of your mum’s birthday dinner. 

Funny how you were starting to also feel uncomfortable in your own flat. 

“So, when are you going to meet her?” You asked Sara. 

You studied the boxes that were stacking up around their flat. Abby and Sara had gone shopping for all the things they needed to make sure that the little girl they were adopting was going to be all settled and comfortable. When your eyes met Sara’s, you immediately saw her face beaming with excitement as she finished signing the papers in front of her. You knew this had been a long process for them, and they have been waiting for this answer. You couldn’t believe they

were finally almost at the end of it. 

“In a week.” Sara replied. “I’m so excited to meet her. The agency said that she’s only two years old, and her name is Elena.” 

“And she’s from the orphanage that you guys visited before?” You asked. 

“Yeah, poor thing.” Sara sighed. “Her parents passed away in a car accident just last year.”

Your eyes widened, “What happened?” 

“When she finally turned one, her parents decided to go out for a date night because it had been a while and going home, they got into a car accident. Her grandparents are too old to take care of her, and she doesn’t have any other family.” 

“Ohmygod.” You gasped softly, feeling your stomach drop. “But does her grandparents keep in contact?”

Sara nodded her head. “Yes, they would visit her, and we’ve met them. Her grandma is starting to forget a lot of things, and her grandpa could barely walk.” 

“That’s horrible, but I’m happy that she’s going to be in a good family.”

Sara leaned back on her chair, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. It was almost like sadness and at the same time, a terrified look on her face. 

“What if I’m not going to be a good mother?” Sara asked. 

“Are you kidding?” You chuckled softly. “You’re going to be a great mother, and Abby will too. The both of you are such a good team already.”

That was the difference between you and Sara. She has her life together, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn’t like she didn’t have flaws either, but she was just better at all of this. Better at organizing her life, better at making decisions, and she knew the path she wanted for her life. You, on the other hand, didn’t really know what to do. You woke up everyday and just survived and hoped you would eventually find your way. That you would eventually stop being so terrified with life. 

“Thank you.” Sara smiled. “And thank you for always supporting me and Abby.”

“I’m always here for you.” You smiled, getting up from your chair to grab the both of you a drink. “It’s just the nerves that’s making you overthink about all of this, but I know that you will be an amazing mother.”

You handed her the glass of wine as you took a sip of yours. 

“C’mon. Why don’t we start setting up her room?” You smiled, setting down the glass of wine on the table before lifting up one of the boxes and walked over to Elena’s room. 

You couldn’t believe that during uni, you and Sara would just talk about this and who would have a family first and now, you were helping her set up the bedroom of her first child. It was so surreal. Taking the knife, you sliced through the tape that was on top of the box before opening it. 

“Do me a favor and please don’t spoil her.” Sara mentioned as the two of you read the instructions on how to set the bed up. 

You laughed softly and said, “Yeah, I’m not going to promise that.”

“Don’t give her something that she doesn’t need.” Sara argued. 

“Sara,” You tilted your head, giving her a look. “I’m the cool Aunt in this picture, I’m supposed to be the one who spoils her all the time, and you will get mad at me for doing that, but you’ll just roll your eyes and let me do it anyway.”

“Oh, is that so?” Sara laughed, throwing you one of the plush bunnies that was next to her. 

“Yes, that’s how it works.” You shrugged, “It’s the law.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Sara said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “They said that she’s really shy, but she’s so sweet once you get to know her.”

You smiled, picking up the screwdriver as you started putting the bed together. “You’re so great with your students, Sara. Now, you’re going to have your own child, and I know that you and Abby will love and take care of her.”

“Yeah, lately, I have been having second thoughts about this and maybe you were right. It’s just nerves. Even Abby tells me that.”

“It is. Even with Abby, I know she will be great. I’m really happy that you two are doing this and have found Elena because I know she deserves the world. You both are entering the next chapter of your lives.” 

“Thank you. We really are, and I couldn’t be more excited and happy about it.” Sara smiled, handing you the screws as the both of you put up the headboard of the bed. “What about you?”

You grunted, getting up from the floor and moved the bed in the corner of the room. “What about me?”

“How are you and Joe?”

You sighed and set your hands on your hips as you looked at the bed that the two of you just put together. Who knew you could do this with patience since you usually were frustrated whenever you put together a furniture. 

Maybe because your patience has been tested lately. 

“It’s the same thing every week.” You shook your head and watched Sara pick up the box with the bedsheets in it. “For some reason, he isn’t even paying attention to Ivy anymore.”

“What?!” Sara gasped, dropping the box on your feet.

“Ow!” 

“Sorry! Sorry…” Sara scrunched her face as she picked up the box that she dropped. “Why are you still fake dating him if he doesn’t want Ivy anymore?”

If only Sara knew how many times you have asked yourself that the past two weeks or so. You honestly didn’t know why, and you have been wanting to ask Joe, but he was never home during the week. You didn’t know what he was doing out there, and you kept telling yourself that he was with Ivy. That he was staying over at her house, but you didn’t even know if that was true too. Then, when the weekends came, you would try and talk to him but there were too many people around the both of you all the time. There was never a good time. 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Honestly, I sort of want this to be over because sometimes, I feel like an idiot sitting there alone at the bar, while he made out with Ivy at the back.”

“He’s doing what?!” Sara’s eyes widened. 

“He hasn’t done it in a while when we go out during the weekends.”

Seriously, why were you even defending him?

“But he’s never home, so I figured he’s over there doing whatever he’s doing with her, and it still makes me feel like shit because even if all of this is fake, I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees.” 

You sighed and pulled up one of the chairs that was in the corner. “I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees and the girl who looks like an idiot, acting like she doesn’t know her boyfriend is basically kissing someone else at the back alley, while she’s sitting inside the pub alone.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop this?” Sara crossed her arms on her chest. “I feel like this has gone way too far.” 

Your silence was loud as Sara saw the hesitation in your eyes. Honestly, you weren’t even sure as to why you were hesitating because it was a simple thing, right? You weren’t comfortable about this anymore, so you should stop it. So, what was holding you back? Why were you okay with all of this even if it was making you feel like shit? 

“Unless…” Sara interrupted your thoughts. “There’s another reason why you don’t want this to be over.”

“No,” You shook your head, swallowing the last bit of pride you have left. “I just know that it will be over soon, so I just have to see through the end of it.”

“Okay.” Sara exhaled sharply, knowing she couldn’t convince you to stop this. “Well, maybe while Joe is busy with Ivy, you could try and go out there again? I haven’t seen you try with someone for a long time or even go to the pub and talk to someone.”

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. 

At this point, you were seriously questioning yourself as to why you were even hesitating over this suggestion. You would usually agree and go for it. It wasn’t like going out there was something new in your life. That was what you did before this whole plan happened. You would go to the pub, talk to someone, hook up with them sometimes but no strings attached. 

So, why were you hesitating? Was there a part of you that you sort of didn’t want to do that anymore? That you were over just hooking up with someone? That maybe you wanted to actually have a real relationship?

Maybe. 

If only you weren’t so terrified by the idea of it.

“It doesn’t have to be anything serious. I just want you to go out there and see that there’s so much more than what you’re doing right now with Joe.” Sara added.

“Yeah, I know.” You murmured. “Thanks.”

Sara always knew what to say and even if you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were also glad that she was always there to say it to you with no hesitation. On your way home later that night, you sat in the tube and revisited the suggestion that Sara mentioned earlier. Going to a pub and talking to someone other than Joe was better, right? 

You gazed down at your phone that was sitting on your lap as it buzzed and a message from Joe appeared on the screen. 

Going home soon?

You couldn’t help but contemplate if he was asking you that question because he had plans to go see Ivy again, and he was about to drag you with him again or if it was something else. Staring at the text, you didn’t know if you should reply back or not. You didn’t even know if you wanted to see him tonight. You’ve been seeing him too much lately. Your phone buzzed again after a few minutes and another text from Joe appeared on your screen. 

I’m bored. Wanna hang? A movie and pizza? The usual.

The thought of it made your stomach twist and turn again in a good way, but it also made you want to distance yourself more with Joe. You haven’t done a movie and pizza on a Saturday night in a long time and if you were being honest, you sort of missed it. You missed when you two could just sit on the sofa and act like normal flatmates but now, you didn't even know anymore if you could act normal like before. It made you wish you would stop thinking like this as you scolded yourself internally to stop acting up because all of this was just an act, and it would be over soon. 

You wish it was over now. 

Then, your phone buzzed again and this time, it was a text from Abby. You opened the message and saw a screenshot of a post on Instagram where fans were saying that you and Joe were cute together and wondering who you were. A “mystery” girl was what they called you. You stared at the photo of you and Joe during the Dior event just talking by the bar and laughing. It was one of those moments that night where you felt normal with him. Moments where you felt like you didn’t have to pretend and just be yourself, and he was fine with it. He liked your jokes and laughed at them. It wasn’t even a conversation about Ivy or anything. It was just a normal conversation about the event and getting to know each other. 

Then, the sudden overwhelming feeling that washed over you made you exit the text and went back to Joe’s text message. Staring at it, you couldn’t make up your mind whether you should go home now and spend the rest of the night watching a movie and eating pizza with Joe, while these emotions inside of you slowly killed you, or listen to Sara’s suggestion and finally try to break out of this for once and go out there and meet someone new. 

Sorry. I’ll be home late. 

You sent the text to Joe as soon as you exited the tube. There was no way you were going home now and going back to Sara and Abby’s place was no option either. You were already here, and you thought maybe you should take Sara’s advice for once and go out there. Besides, it really has been a while since you went out and met some new people. Who knows, maybe you could kill this feeling that had been circling inside of you.

Walking down the street, you stopped by at one of the pubs that was near your flat and found the place busy. 

Perfect. 

You sat by the bar and ordered yourself a drink, your eyes scanning the room. Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be in their own little conversations. There wasn’t anyone you could just walk up and talk to. Your agenda for tonight was to talk to someone and maybe flirt a little. Even if part of you sort of didn’t want to, you wanted to prove to yourself that you were just too preoccupied with your agreement with Joe that was why you kept having these weird emotions inside of you lately. 

That was it. That was the only reason why. 

However, your little plan wasn’t going too well as you ordered yourself another drink later that night. You were just sitting at the bar alone, and you couldn’t help but sigh and scold yourself for being so pathetic.

Seriously, what were you even doing?

This whole plan was just stupid. 

“Getting your mind off of something?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted your thoughts. 

Just when you thought you were unlucky tonight, a handsome man that was sitting next to you had a small smile tugging on his lips. His piercing blue eyes sparkled as he took a sip of his beer. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice he had sat next to you. 

You tilted your head, a flirty smile appeared on your face. “How’d you know that?”

The man shrugged, “I saw you since you walked in tonight, and you looked like you could use a friend. Unless… you are waiting for someone?”

You chuckled softly. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone. It’s just me.” 

“That’s perfect then. I’m Isaac.” The man held out his hand. 

You smiled, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself to him. Isaac was a nice name and maybe this was the universe telling you that Sara was right. You were in the right direction for taking up her advice for once. 

“So, how come a pretty girl like you is all alone here and looking in such a deep thought.” Isaac asked. 

“Oh.” You let out an awkward laugh. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Are you sure?”

Of course not. 

You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m sure. Just zoning out, I guess.”

You could tell Isaac didn’t believe you, but you didn’t care because he wasn’t the solution to your problem, wasn’t? He was just a band aid.

You had one agenda tonight and that was to go out there again just like Sara had advised you to do. You need to go out there and meet new people and maybe find someone good for you. So, you sat there and listened to Isaac talk about himself. You tried your best to not frown the whole time because as much as you were trying hard to really pay attention, you were just bored. It wasn’t like he was a bad guy or anything because he seemed really nice and a good guy unlike the other men you usually meet at the pubs, but you were just not interested at all. 

So, instead, you flirted. 

You flirted to shut him up, and you couldn’t help but think if any of these people online posting about you were looking at you right now and knew what you have been doing with your life, they’d probably call you a slut. At this point, you didn’t care anymore. You were just living your life and those were just labels people tend to put on other people because they got nothing better to do. 

“Do you want to go outside? It’s sort of getting stuffy here.” You said, trailing your hand up to his arm. 

Isaac wasn’t hard to convince as his eyes stared at your hand on his arm before gazing back up at you and nodding his head. Taking your hand in his, he led you out the pub and towards the side of the building where no one could see the both of you. His lips immediately hungrily crashed onto yours as he kissed you. He pressed you against the wall as you let out a soft gasp, his lips trailing down your neck. Your eyes stared up at the night sky, stars twinkling above you as Isaac pulled you closer against him. His soft lips licked and sucked your neck softly, but your mind was somewhere else. You stared up at the night sky and wished on the stars that your feelings for Joe were going to be over soon. When Isaac’s lips found your jawline and then your lips again, you closed your eyes and kissed him back hungrily. 

“Let’s… Let’s go back to my flat.” You whispered, pulling away from him.

You didn’t need to say any more convincing words because Isaac immediately agreed as he took your hand in his and followed you down the street. Isaac had you close to his side the whole time, and you just hoped that Joe wasn’t awake by the time you arrived at your flat. Not that he wasn’t used to you bringing home a man in your flat but for some reason, you didn’t want him to know this time. 

It felt weird just thinking about going home with Isaac, and Joe seeing the two of you.

Not that you cared about his opinion or what he would feel.

Grabbing your keys from your coat pocket, you inserted it in the keyhole of your doorknob, smiling at Isaac as you unlocked the front door.

“Be quiet. My flatmate might be asleep. I don’t want to disturb him.” You whispered, entering your dark and quiet flat. 

Perfect. You thought.

Maybe Joe got bored without you and decided to go out and see Ivy. The thought of him being with her made your stomach turn again as you dragged Isaac down the hall and right before you could even open your bedroom door, Isaac grabbed you by the hips, turning you around and crashing his lips on yours. 

“Shh…” You giggled softly, reaching for the door and opening it as you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside your bedroom.

With his foot, Isaac kicked the door close behind him, gentle enough for it to not slam too hard and made a noise. His fingers started working on the buttons of your shirt as he gently pushed you down on the bed and towered over you. Isaac’s knees dug on the mattress on either side of you as you used your elbows to propped yourself up and watched him unbutton your blouse. Sliding your top off, you slid your hand behind his head, pulling him down for a deep and rough kiss. Isaac’s lips trailed down your jawline as you tugged on the hem of his shirt sliding it off of his broad shoulders. 

“Hmm…” You moaned softly, letting his lips trail down between your breasts. 

For a moment, you stared at your ceiling as Isaac sucked on the skin of your neck softly, letting another small gasp escape from you. You felt him smile through the kiss as he slid your bra off and sucked on your nipple, squeezing your other breast with his other hand. You couldn’t help but moan again, closing your eyes as he kissed you again deeply. 

Your mind was spinning as Isaac started unbuttoning your pants, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol that was running in your system or that your mind started playing tricks because as soon as you pulled away from the kiss and opened your eyes, the blur image of Joe staring right down at you was the only thing that you could see. It was almost like Isaac’s face had glitched in your brain and Joe’s face was now right there in front of you. His chocolate button eyes staring right into yours, and you felt that jar of butterflies open up in your stomach. 

Suddenly, you sobered up quickly. 

“Um…” You used both of your palms on his bare chest to push Isaac away from you. 

“Yea, sweetheart?” Isaac murmured, trying to kiss you on the lips again, but you had turned your head away from him. 

“Um…  hold on.” You slid yourself off your bed, grabbing your bra and blouse and immediately sliding it back on.

What the fuck was happening with you?

“What’s wrong?” Isaac stared at you with worried eyes. 

“I…” You exhaled a sharp breath, picking up Isaac’s clothes from the floor. “I think you should go.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

The poor man. 

It wasn’t him who was the problem. It was you.

If only he could understand what was going through your head right now, but you needed this to stop because what the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? You didn’t even got the chance to answer him because you were shoving his clothes in his arms, shoved him out of your room and out the door. Isaac was barely putting on his shirt when you closed the door to his face and immediately slid your back on the door. 

“What the fuck?” You cursed under your breath, burying your face in your hands. 

This has never happened to you before. With anyone… ever.

You didn’t feel anything but frustration and confusion. You didn’t even realize how frustrated you were until your hands had slid off your face and your mascara had stained your palms. Tears were rolling down your cheeks because how could you feel this way? Joe only wanted Ivy and that was the plan in the first place. This whole emotional mess you were feeling wasn’t part of it. You were only playing a part. Acting. Pretending. 

That was it. 

You didn’t have the right to feel alone and insulted over Ivy’s friends’ opinion because you were only pretending. 

They didn’t know the real truth,  

You didn’t have the right to feel this way about Joe because all of this was just acting. All of this was fake. You never had to deal with emotions like these before, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You didn’t know if you were just getting carried away by the show that you and Joe kept putting on almost every weekend or all of this was now real.

At this point, jumping off of something tall would hurt less, honestly.

Wiping the mascara filled tears that were staining your cheeks, you slowly pulled your legs close to your chest, your arms wrapping around them as you laid your head on your knees. Even if you told yourself many times that you were fine, and you could do this, how come it still made you feel so alone? Why did it made you feel like shit? Why did you have to agree with this plan in the first place? You were such an idiot. Now look at you.

A godforsaken mess for someone whose eyes were only for one woman, and that woman wasn’t even you. 

This whole thing needed to be stopped. 

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn rpf #joe quinn rpf #joseph quinn fanfics #joe quinn fanfics #is it over now? #blairrwaldorfs

[sleepy0s]

got distracted, enjoy.,

Grian sat in the rain watching Sam and Taurtis attempt to sell a local gang some “Goods”.

His clothes were drenched, sticking awkwardly to his skin, his hair darkened with water and flat against his head. The stairs were cold. His ears were waterlogged and all he could hear was the rain splatting on the stairs. The rain which was usually so comforting but now felt like a reminder of everything. A reminder of where he was. In Tokyo, watching his friends sell drugs. 

Sam eventually returned, leaving Taurtis with the group. Taurtis was always better at selling things. Sam looked high. And drunk. Maybe both. Probably both. He sat on the step next to Grian, not sparing him a glance. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sam suddenly spoke up. 

“We’re not friends.” Grian didn’t respond, eyes locked on a puddle in front of him. “Maybe once, when we were little. Maybe then we were friends. But not anymore, we haven’t been friends in a long time.” Grian didn’t respond again, which agitated Sam. The bunny hybrid turned to look at him.

“Answer me goddamnit!” He yelled into deaf ears. “GRIAN ANSWER ME.” Sam screamed again., this time forcibly grabbing the avian by the chin, forcing him to look at him. Grian chuckled, of course the one time Sam says his name properly and he's high out of his mind and angry. 

“We are not friends, Grian.” His grip was tight, squeezing Grian’s face.

“I know.” His voice was quiet, a whisper among the rain.

“What?” Sam let go of his face, leaning back again.

“I said, I know.” 

“Is- is that all? No, no sadness? ARE YOU EVEN UPSET?” Grian didn’t get why Sam was so angry, honestly, he never knew why Sam was upset. Sam was the one who just said they weren’t friends? What, don’t say he was expecting Grian to beg for forgiveness. Grian looked at Sam, wiping Rain off his face. “Should I be upset?” This seemed to hit Sam hard. The bunny hybrid going quiet again, tears might be streaming down his face but the rain hid it well.

The rain got worse, lightning strikes occasionally, and Grian hoped that maybe he was lucky enough that it would hit him. It’s funny isn’t it? When they were younger the three of them would run around in the rain, all in good fun. Screaming in joy every time a flash of light went across the sky, joking about how unfortunate it would be if one of them got hit. Now Grian was here, bloody wishing it would hit him. 

Sam spoke again, “Don’t you care?”

 Grian didn’t understand, watching the cars that drove past occasionally. “Pardon.?

“I said- don’t you care that we're not friends..?” He hiccuped, “Does- does it matter to you.?” Grian thought about his words carefully, before answering simply. “No, should it?”

“Well- Yea!” Sam spluttered out, “I- I want you to care! I want you to be upset!”

Oh. So that's what this is about. Sam doesn’t want to be friends with Grian, yet expects Grian to care, he fucking wants Grian to want to be his friend, just so that Sam can deny him. 

“Well- well, why are you still here then!? Just go home, Grian. Go back to your dumb house in London.” 

“No.” 

“What?”

“No. I’m not staying here for you Sam. I am here for Taurtis because somebody has to look after him. And it sure as hell ain’t you.” Sam didn’t get it. He could look after Taurtis fine, he didn’t need Grian’s stupid help. They would be fine without him. “I can look after him. We don't need you, Grian.” Grian laughed, turning to look at Sam. “Why are you laughing?”

“You can look after him? You have left him all alone in a room with the bloody mafia. And you have the guts to tell me you can look after him?” Grian’s voice stayed calm, not raising at all or showing any emotion. Sam didn’t respond after that and the two went back into an uncomfortable silence. Sam shuffled over to Grian, leaning his head on his shoulder as he passed out, probably from the drugs getting to his brain. “..m’ sorry gree-on..” he mumbled before he closed his eyes. Leaving Grian all alone, in the storm waiting for Taurtis with a hopefully dead Sam.

#grian #sleepy0s #taurtis #samgladiator yhs #grian yhs #taurtis yhs #tokyo soul #avian grian #bunny samgladiator #angst #light angst

[dazed--xx]

Breathless 2 (Alt. Ending)

Member: Hyunjin x reader  

Word count: 14.1K

IDOL CAMEOS: Karina-Aespa, Yeji-Itzy, Lia-Itzy, Jinhwan-Monsta X.

Trigger warnings: toxic relationships, ANGST, happy ending, mentions of smut no smut actually featured, fake texts, mentions of drinking/getting black out drunk, mentions of cheating, mentions of marijuana use, crying, arguments, mentions of anxiety. anything else i could have forgotten.

A/N: So this the alternative ending. So many people asked for a happy ending and my original plan was not to have one but i did make this alt ending for all my fluffy happy ending lovers most of the two stories are the same until the final confrontation. Im still willing to write drabbles for these characters and everything so thank you for enjoying.

Part 1    Original Ending

You were grateful for Felix having come into your life. Ever since your break up with Hyunjin, two months ago, He’s been your rock through it. From taking you out anytime you felt you needed to get away, to cuddling with you and watching a movie, and some days like, today, when Hyunjin does reach out to try to talk Felix is the one to usually urge you to at least get closure. You immediately found yourself wandering aimlessly until Felix picked you up and brought you to the beach. But you being sad didn’t mean you didn’t get out of the ‘closure’ lecture.

“You know....”  

Felix trails “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually you deserve an explanation......and closure” you sigh in response, adjusting yourself against the uncomfortable pebbles beneath you. Your eyes trail over the setting sun dancing across the water, waves crashing against the rocks on the shoreline. “I can get an explanation from Ye-na before I get the slightest truth from Hyunjin” Felix flinches at the way you say Hyunjin’s name. He stands in his place almost dumbfounded. “Listen helmet, like honestly, I would 100% agree that what he did was wrong but he looked genuinely heartbroken when you ended things. You should at least hear him out if not for him then for yourself. Wouldn’t you want to know why he cheated?” you shake your head in response. “Why would I ever want to know why?” You growl. “So, you don’t feel like it's your fault, which is what I know you feel.” you force your eyes away from the water “and how could you possibly know that?” you counter. He shrugs in response running his hand through his hair before placing extending out to you “the face you made just told me, but let's get out of here please you know what kind of people hang out around these parts at night” you chuckle in response as you grab his hand “I literally met you right over there” you pointed toward the pier “So they're your kind of people Yongbokie~” you tease.  

His face is flat “Dude they're STILL looking for me”  

It was your turn to shrug “And? Why'd you piss them off” his mouth hangs open “I didn’t purposely piss them off I just.......slept with the leader's sister......” “And?” you urge him to continue “And he walked in okay!” he responds. You couldn’t contain your laughter, “Wait! He saw little yongbokie!” you struggled to regain composure as you approach Felix’s bike. “1! How was I supposed to know he would walk in she said she was going to be home alone for hours she miscalculated. And 2! Don’t name my dick especially a title that implies its little. When it very much isn’t” you roll your eyes at him. “Suuuuurrrrrreeeee” his face forms a scowl. “What? You want to see? Don’t think you’d be able to handle it” he urges, his hand wrapping around your hair forcing your head back pressing your back against his chest. You squeak in responds your face turning toward him “Don't threaten me with a good time” you tease facing him brushing your noses together before running your hand down his torso making your way toward his waistline before his hand grips at your wrist “FINE! Fine! You won this time okay” he jumps. You chuckle in response “Lixie, you act like I don’t win every time you try to play this game with me”  

“You only win because I let you. I have no problems with being a rebound honestly and if I wanted to win, Helmet, you’d have been in my bed the night after you broke up with Hyunjin” He states. “Hmm I'll keep that in mind then” you shrug as he starts his motorcycle. “You know you're quite annoying, even Karina gets somewhat flustered when I talk to her” he snaps. You giggle “Lix, you’re really attractive and honestly at first you definitely made me really blushy but I was with Hyunjin so it was really easy to kind of shrug it off you know?” you state softly. The wind kissing your cheeks. “But, if I ever felt like you know, ready to move on, you’d probably be the first person I'd sleep with” you finish matter of factly. He nods in response “Shit just let me know, I can definitely make you forget all about Hyunjin” He winks biting his bottom lip before hopping onto his bike.  

“But it's cold so you coming or not?”  

______________________________________________________________

You sighed as you walked toward your dorm’s entrance, you weren't excited for Lia’s questioning on why you had randomly left the dorm, completely disappearing while she showered. You dragged your feet as if they were imbedded in cinderblocks, formulating a plan to make a beeline for your bedroom and locking the door. You regret taking the stairs as you enter the door to your floor, your legs aching. Your eyes not leaving the ground as you continue your path to your bed. Your hands fidgeting with your keys, you let out a loud sigh. Finally lifting your eyes as you come close to your door, your heart sinking as you see your ex sitting in front of it. You consider running back toward the stairs before he could notice you, yet luck was not on your side as his eyes find you and he jumps to his feet.  

You freeze in shock, it’s the first time you’ve seen him since you broke up and he didn’t look too good---well he still looked absolutely gorgeous, but you could see the lack of sleep in his eyes. Ghost trails of tears stained on his face, his hair was disheveled and he was still wearing the same clothes from the night you had broken up. Your throat tightens, you felt your fingers tingling; you’re face heated up rapidly. You hated that, even with the pain he’s caused you, he could still make your heart race. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him in pain. Still, there’s a light in his eyes when he looks at you.  

“Bab--Y/N....” his voice is coarse “C-can we talk.... please?”  

His eyes are pleading as he slowly makes his way toward you. You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking toward the ground once again shaking your head. “Y-you need to go...” you mumble. Your eyes notice his shoes now in view, you can feel the heat radiating off him due to his closeness. “Please....I-I just want to talk--I don’t know what else to do. You don’t answer my calls or-or texts. I don’t understand what happened--I feel like I can't breathe” he begs, you feel his hands on your arms igniting a fire in your stomach. You jump at the contact your head whipping to look at him as you force his hands off you. “No.” you state coldly. “You need to leave now, Hyunjin” you shove your way past him to your door. Forcing your key in the lock and turning before you turn back to your ex. “You lost your chance to talk to me the moment you fucked anyone else while we were together. Leave before I call security” “I didn’t--I sw-” his pleads are cut off by you slamming the door behind you.  

Hyunjin stood in shock, tears welling in his eyes. He knew it was going to be hard to get you to forgive him but how could he even begin to try to fix things if you wouldn’t even look at him. His heart clenched in his chest. This isn’t happening...... he thinks to himself. The same words that’s been playing in his head since that fateful night. He didn’t know what else to do, he was so lost. He’s never felt pain like this before and he still couldn’t understand why. He knows what you believe but he still doesn’t even understand what Ye-na told you. And when he confronted Ye-na she just laughed at the ‘irony’ as she had stated boldly. He’d spent countless hours these past two months staring at nothing but his phone screen waiting for something---anything in return from you. Losing you was the last thing he could have ever wanted. He knew he should leave; he knew you wanted him to go, but he couldn’t he needed to try. He needed you to talk to him. With a shaky breath he lifted his phone and immediately pressed the call button of your contact. Pressing his back against your door and sliding down.  

“Fuck......” he cried as he ran his hand through his hair. Of course, you’d reject his call. He wanted to scream, to beg for you to talk to him; his mind flashed to the way you flinched at his touch. He wanted to go back, back to when he first got his chance with you. He'd change everything, he’d appreciate everything he had. He needed to hold you again, if he could go back, he would have stayed every time you’d ask. He’d show you he loves you, because he did—he does. He wishes he’d realized it sooner, anything to just have you back. He hates that he confessed his love when he did. He knows what you probably think, but he needed you to know. He thought it would reassure you that he didn’t want anyone else. His phone buzzed in his hand. His heart lit up at your contact.  

He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something. You responded; he didn’t care it was to tell him to leave. He immediately went to respond, only for his message to be interrupted by a call from Jisung. He sighed to himself as he pressed the answer button. “Hell---Dude, you gotta go home” Jisung interrupted. “What are you talking about?” Hyunjin questioned with faux confusion “I am---no! You're not! you wanna know how I know you’re not?! Because I’m at your place! Dude! Come home, okay? If she wants to talk to then she will but you can't camp out in front of her dorm its honestly fucking creepy!” Jisung exclaims. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, biting his lip. “Fine, just-just stay their asshole”  

“Dope, when you get back, you’re taking a fucking shower and cleaning your room bro this is gross and honestly no girl would even look at you let alone talk to you judging by your place.” Jisung whines.  

“So fucking leave then!” He snaps.  

“See I would, but I’m the hot one now and I just need a second to soak it in so get home while you still look like shit” Jisung exclaims excitedly. And for just a moment, Hyunjin considers murdering his best friend. Scoffing, he quickly ends the call before lifting himself off the ground. He gives one last look at your door before he makes his way back to his dorm, leaving his heart in his place.

______________________________________________________________

Your dance class has been.... awkward to say the least. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, you can feel Ye-na's glare and Hyunjin’s love sick longing stare on you. Jisung still follows Karina around like a lost puppy so you have to sometimes deal with the occasional run in with him. Jisung, as Hyunjin’s best friend, is one of the few that truly knew what was going on in your past relationship. Sometimes you thought he knew even more than you about your own relationship with Hyunjin. He remained polite sometimes looking at you with sad eyes when he notices Hyunjin’s pleading gaze. You questioned as to why he sat here with you when his own best friend sat across the room, not paying attention to his dance partner and focusing on you and only you.  

You honestly felt exceptionally confused. Why was Hyunjin acting like this? A question that’s lingered in your mind for days. He had ignored you for the majority of your relationship, only showing interest a select number of times that didn’t involve sex. You were together for a little over a year and if you were to say you didn’t love him it would be a lie. You loved him, you still love him but he obviously didn’t feel the same if he had seeked out another woman. You hated yourself for not hating Ye-na, you don’t know if she knows you overheard her conversation with her friend but honestly, you owed her a huge thank you. For months you couldn’t figure out how Hyunjin had felt about you, and in a few words, you learned that he did not feel the same way. You didn’t blame her; she wasn’t the one that promised you exclusivity so how could you hold a grudge against someone that got played by the same person. He probably made false promises to her as well, so, why the heartbroken pouty expression that wouldn’t leave his features. You feel like you should at least talk to him, but every time you went to respond to him; Ye-na's words rang through your head. Why would he say you guys were nothing serious and then declare his love for you?  

You had practically the exact same conversation with everyone beside Karina, who had suggested you talk to him, after a certain violent act pertaining to a very vital reproductive organ was performed; which you had considered but immediately shot down. You didn’t want to talk to Jisung about it so you had gone to Changbin, who also told you to talk to Hyunjin and nothing more or less. You felt like pulling your hair out and you knew you’d regret it but you decided to talk to Jisung, he’d have the most knowledge about everything and you were honestly still to hurt to face Hyunjin so this was your best bet. You let out a shaky breath before you stood up and looked at Jisung. “Hey can you come with me to something from the vending machine in the music department?” It was no secret that the vending machine in the music department contained the best snacks and drinks, the foreign stuff. But you hoped that he would understand that there was more to you asking other than you craving things.

The confused look on your face told you he didn’t catch it, “Why?” He asked, Karina slapped the back of his head “Ouch! Why’d you do that?” He whined rubbing his injury “Because you’re stupid. Bring her genius! she can't get into the department without a music major” She snapped as she rolled her eyes. His cheeks heat up in embarrassment “Sorry” he apologized as he stood from his place. You felt eyes burning on you and Jisung as you made your way out of the studio. You look at Jisung quizzically as you notice him looking across the room before almost crashing into the door if you didn’t pull him out the door behind you. “Jesus, Han I think you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached” you tease, raising your eyebrow to him. He chuckles in embarrassment as he fixes his shirt “Sorry, I was—Hyu--I got distracted” He looks away as he stammers.  

“That’s actually why I wanted to go to the music department. You’re Hyunjin’s best friend you probably know way more than me about---Y/N I told you I don’t know if what Ye-na said is true” He cuts you off. You shake your head rapidly “No that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about”  

“Oh” He states in confusion “well then.... what about Hyunjin did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well, as you probably know I still haven’t talked to him about things, BUT the night we broke up. He said something that has me really confused” You explain. “Well....what did he say? I can’t really help you unless I know, you know?” He states softly, you pause for a moment “He told me he loves me.” Jisung’s eyes widen “He finally confessed?! And He didn’t even tell me?! I’m supposed to be his best friend, his ride or die, and he doesn’t even tell me that” he exclaims in betrayal. You snap in his face while he continues his rant “Hanji, Focus. So, you do at least know how he feels then” Jisung shakes his head at you “Oh no no no little lady, Karina warned me this talk was coming. It's not my place to tell you how Hyunjin feels about you. You need to talk to him if you want answers” You scoff “Karina told you to say that?”  

“No! I’m saying it!” Jisung exclaims “Honestly Y/N, I’m his best friend he’s not doing okay in all of this and He wants to tell you how he feels and what you mean to him. And as his best friend and knowing how he feels I know he needs to be the one to tell you. You think you’re the only one hurt right now but you’re not. My best friend is going through his first ever break up, and he’s heartbroken. And I’m not making excuses for him, you had a good reason to break up with him he promised you loyalty and he didn’t keep that promise I guess but let’s be real here you know the kind of guys we are. Were you really surprised? You probably thought this would have happened anyway because let's be honest here me and Hyunjin aren’t built for relationships. I don’t know if he’s ever cheated on you like for real but I do know that I wouldn’t be surprised or disappointed if it turns out he did if I were you.”  He states honestly, as his hand grasps your shoulder stopping you. “So, what? I should forgive him if he did?” You question. Jisung shakes his head “No, you shouldn’t honestly just cause I’m that kind of guy doesn’t mean I'd say you should forgive him. If he cheated dump his ass and move on you want loyalty, you’re that kind of girl.”  

“So, I should......?” you prod.  

“Talk to Hyunjin Y/N” Jisung scoffs

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin didn’t know why he had done it, honestly, he knew why he’d done it but he doesn’t know exactly what could come of him messaging Felix; But he knew one thing for sure, he was running out of options. He was losing his mind thinking of ways to get you to talk to him, He knew Felix would at least have some insight into how you were feeling, judging by your social media, you’ve been with Felix every day since the breakup. Your friendship with Felix had always brought an uncomfortable ache in Hyunjin’s chest. He’d realized you deserved better than himself long before you had met Felix, but it wasn’t until after that Hyunjin realized you deserved someone like Felix. He could see that glint in your eye every time you talked to him and it always made Hyunjin feel like throwing up. That is until you had broken up with him and Felix had messaged him almost immediately that he had brought you home, that you were safe and needed time. Hyunjin had realized, in the short time he’s spent talking to him, that Felix truly cared for you so much so that he’d continuously update Hyunjin on your condition. Hyunjin hated himself for ruining things so much that he couldn’t be with you anymore, but at least he had a way to make sure you were okay, at least he had Felix.  

So, Hyunjin used his last hail Mary and messaged him to see if he would want to get something to eat and talk, only to be eagerly surprised when Felix had agreed. So here Hyunjin sat, in a pizza restaurant that Felix had picked out, his eyes focused on the cream-colored table. His hands holding onto each other while his arms rested on his shaky legs. What would Felix say? Hyunjin wondered. He wanted to ask your dance partner how you were, if you were doing okay, what you were thinking about when it came to your relationship, did you feel like a part of you was missing too. He couldn’t even touch the pizza he had ordered. He felt nauseous waiting for Felix. His breath was shaky when he heard the chair in front of him scoot out. His eyes slowly lift to be greeted by the warmest smile. Hyunjin could see why you went to Felix every day for comfort, from just his friendly smile alone Hyunjin felt himself calming down. “S-so, uh, y-you're probably wondering why I asked you to come here” Hyunjin stammered. “Well, technically I picked this place but sure I guess, I figured you probably wanted to talk about Y/N you know?” Felix chuckled as he reached for Hyunjin’s soda, “You don’t mind, do you?” Felix questioned, Hyunjin stared at him in shock and shook his head no.  

“No-well—yes, I want to talk about her but it's not just for that reason!” Hyunjin explained nervously “Look, I know how she feels right now and I know I’m the reason for that, but I just want---no I need to explain. I don’t know if she’d forgive me, but I fucking hate that I hurt her and I just-I need her back. She was the best thing that’s happened to me and I fucked it all up and I don’t know how to fix it and I hate myself for not knowing what to do right now. In the past I would have just said fuck it and moved on and just forgot about her. ----sigh----but I can’t. I can’t just move on; I can’t just act like she never existed. I love her and I need her to know that. I won't fuck this up again if she gave me a chance but she won't talk to me and I feel so fucking lost without her” Hyunjin felt tears well up in his eyes the longer he continued, soon his eyes never left Felix’s face “and you’ve been so nice to me, you don’t know me and you know how badly I've hurt her, and she’s your friend so you should hate me but you came here and-and you let me know that she’s safe. And I know she’s safe when she’s with you. You didn’t have to do any of this but you did and I owe you a lot honestly and I don’t know how to repay you” Felix’s features twist into a cognitive look.  

“Well, the only thing I want, and I think Y/N wants, is the truth of if you did cheat on her with Ye-na” Felix responds stoically

“she’s the only person I'll answer that question to” Hyunjin groans rubbing his temples “If she’d ever talk to me”  

“You ever try just explaining”  

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean, genius, you ever try just texting her your explanation and just hope she reads it?” Felix suggests. Hyunjin sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face “You’re a fucking idiot” Felix groans as Hyunjin shakes his head. Why had he never thought of that? “Instead of wasting your time begging her to talk to you and let you explain. You should just explain. If she responds, she responds, if she doesn’t then, well, at least you explained yourself.”  

______________________________________________________________

You don’t know what you were thinking when you decided clubbing with Karina, especially for the first time, was a terrible idea. The dress Karina put you in was WAY too form fitting and very short. The music was exceptionally loud, vibrating the room with its pulsing beat and the guys were......eh, from trashy pick-up lines, to just grinding against you while you danced. At this moment, you longed for the days where Jisung would flirt with you, at least there was.... well, finesse, if you had to choose a word for it. If you had to give anything to your ex and his friends they definitely knew how to flirt and get a girl to go home with them, and not due to just their devilishly handsome faces, they had an aura around them that spewed confidence and experience. But instead, here you stood, with a handsome guy yet you felt bored. You find yourself comparing him to Hyunjin a lot. He talks about himself a lot, Hyunjin didn’t do that at least he’d seem interested in you when you guys were together; this guy didn’t. You think his name was Ji-Han or Jin-Hwan or something. When he brushes a stray hair out of your face you notice the couple ring on his finger, you pull your head away from his touch when you feel an arm snake around your waist pulling you back toward their figure. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my girlfriend” a familiar deep voice stated from behind you. The guy stood in shock, before Felix pulled you farther down the bar.  You stare at him eyes widen; you bite your lip in embarrassment when you see the scowl on his face.  

You think Felix, may be your guardian angel, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck; thanking him profusely. You felt him shake his head before wrapping his arms around your waist lifting you slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute” He groans before he lets you go and ruffles your hair. “Why you so mad? Wait! Why are you here? Not that I don’t completely adore you but weren’t you with someone?” you question, his cheeks heat up with a pinkish glow before he shrugs. You gasp “Did you get rejected?”  

“No!” He snaps, his scowl returning.  

“Yongbokie~ say it isn’t so... you got rejected?” You tease.  

His arms quickly wrap around your waist and presses your back against the bar. He brushes his lips against your cheek, you feel your face heat up when he places a soft peck on your cheek. “Do you think I’m the type to get rejected?” He nudges. His face makes its way toward your neck, his lips brushing over it gently. You feel yourself growing wetter by the minute. “Uh-I-I-Aww, Helmet cat got your tongue?” Felix cuts you off as he pulls back. Your eyes form a glare before you shove him back “You’re annoying” you groan. He smiles widely, his eyes forming crescents as he scrunches his nose. “You finally reacted though” He states proudly. Rolling your eyes “Yeah sure” you argue. “You did though...” He whines.  

“Sure, Lix whatever you say” You deny behind red flushed cheeks.  

“Deny it all you want but you want me, Helmet. I know I’m probably your ideal type but you have to control yourself Y/Nie. I’m supposed to be your best friend” He teases. You shake your head at his antics. “You can't kiss me, okay?” he continues. You fake a gag, before shoving him back, and allow your eyes to drift around the room. Though it was just more of Felix’s harmless playful flirting, it still felt wrong to have him so close to you. You knew it was stupid but your heart still longed for Hyunjin. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Felix touching you, you just wished it was someone else. You hate that you longed for his touch, his lips, his everything. You knew what you had heard from Ye-na but you didn’t know if it was even true. The night you had broken up he said it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t lie to try to get you to stay. You wish you weren’t so.... fragile. The Ye-na situation had derailed you off track and you’re having a damn hard time getting back on it again. Felix was a great guy, he seemed like the type to be loyal if he was to be in a relationship. Sure, he was flirty while single but you also know that before returning to Seoul; he was in a long-term relationship that didn’t end well. So, who could blame him for enjoying the single life. “Can we find Karina?” You plead.  

He nods taking a hold of your hand before leading you through the crowd. “I saw her by the booths before I got you” Felix states. You grasp his hand tightly as you make your way through the horde of sweaty bodies, making sure to avoid any spilling drinks. You couldn’t understand how this could be fun to anyone. You could barely hear anything, there was a cluster fuck of people, and the guys are creeps. You would appreciate the experience but this will not be repeated. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you collide with Felix’s back. You notice him bent over, laughter spilling from his mouth as he slaps his knee. “Oh, this is too funny!” He cackles as he pulls out his phone and takes repeated pictures. Your eyes follow his line of vision only to be met with Karina placed on someone’s lap, their lips interlocked, her hand pulling his hair. You gasp in shock as they pull away. Your hand smacks over your mouth, “Jisung!” you exclaim as you dash toward the pair “Oh my god! Felix is going to have so much fun with this I’m telling you”  

“Fun!? Dude, its already in the group chat. Yeji and Lia are dying” Felix exclaims between fits of laughter. Karina rolls her eyes “What? The guys are absolutely lame here and at least with Captain Thinks with his dick over here the corny flirting comes with a good reputation in bed.” She shrugs as she lifts herself off Jisung’s lap before leaning over and pressing her lips against Jisung’s once more “I’m going to the bathroom” she waves as she makes her way through the crowd. You take a seat next to Jisung. “So... when did, uh, this happen?” you question. “Honestly, I think like 15 minutes ago. She texted me said she was bored. I asked where she was. She told me. I came and uh next thing you know—Ehm- yeah" Jisung stammered behind blushed cheeks. “Oh, so you came.... alone?” Jisung nods. “that’s brave of you, it's pretty boring now I don’t know how you’d have a good time here” you whine. Jisung chuckles “Cause you’re supposed to be buzzed, doll”  

“I’ve had like 2 drinks” you argue.  

“What? Some fruity mixed drink that’s probably watered down?”  

“So, then what should I drink?”  

A mischievous smile forms on Jisung’s lips “Shots!”

______________________________________________________________

Note to self: Never go clubbing with Jisung again.  

You were drunk.

So, fucking drunk.  

He was right though; you were definitely having fun in the beginning. He lived up to his party reputation and you had the most fun you’ve had in a while. After the first shot, you felt warm as the liquid burned your throat. The second you took in quick succession as per Jisung’s advice. Your fingers felt tingly and the burning sensation wasn’t so bad. The third shot came after about 10 minutes, when the room stopped rocking. You had to give it up to Jisung, he definitely tried to make you pace yourself. But shots four, five, and six came and went while Karina decided she wanted to continue more of what they had started previously and Felix had found a friend for the night.  

You regret not taking his advice as the room began spinning. You stagger your way out the door after sending a quick text to Karina and Felix explaining you were going home and getting an uber. If was cold outside you didn’t know, your body felt so hot. Your hair was way too long as it tickled your lower back. But in your drunken state of mind, you stare at your home screen you have yet to change and you find yourself dialing Hyunjin’s number. “Hell---Hello?!” His voice answers timidly. “Hyunnie~” you slur. “Babe, are you okay?” He inquires. You shake your head “No...Jisung helped me get drunk”  

“He fucking what?!” Hyunjin growls. “Well, he told me to-to go slow but I didn’t it was so much fun Hyunnie. But I miss you so it wasn’t fun” You whine. “I miss you too baby” he confesses “So fucking much” his voice cracks. “I have to go home” you slur, pressing your back against the wall. “Where are you? How are you getting home?” There was concerned laced in his tone. “I don’t know” you shrug to yourself. “You don’t know where you are? Or you don’t know how you’re getting home?” He questions worriedly. “No, I’m at octagon club. I told Karina and Felix I'd get an uber but—sigh--I want to walk but the world is spinning.”  

“You’re not walking home” He declares. “I’ll be there in 5”  

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin was going to kill Han Jisung. He was as good as dead, not only had you gotten completely fucking blasted by what Hyunjin could tell. But his dear best friend has yet to be heard from. Hyunjin raged the whole way to the club, running almost every stop sign he came across. Hyunjin wanted to strangle Jisung a fuck ton more when he saw you sat on the ground, your head in your hands as you continued to struggle remain upright. Hyunjin barely came to a stop before he was putting the car in park and rushing toward you with a call of your name. His heart stopped in his chest as your head whipped up and you greeted him with the most beautiful smile.  

“Hyunnie~!” you called as you reached out to him struggling to lift yourself off the ground. He quickly rushed to your side; taking a hold of your hand before wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you into his frame. He was taken aback when he felt your arms snake around his neck, you press your chest against his. He can’t help himself but to tighten his grip on you. He felt everything stop. Fuck everything about you was absolutely perfect. He buries his face in your neck, he sighs. “Wow! Your hairs black!” you exclaim surprise in your tone.He can only nod in response. He knows it's wrong, you were drunk and you 100% did not want to see him let alone have him touch you but, you were so fucking adorable and he missed this so fucking much that he needed to hold onto it for as long as he could. Fuck Jisung, fuck this club, and Hyunjin won't begin to think about all the guys that probably thought they had a chance with you in this dress cause holy fuck! For this moment, things were back to the way they were before. He hated that he had to end it, but you needed to get home and out of the cold. You were probably so drunk you didn’t notice how freezing it was.  

His fingers brushed your hair away from your face, placing his hands over your cheeks. “It's so cold out baby let me take you home, hmm?” He urged. You nod in response. Your fingers played with his as he walked you to his car. You whined as he removed his hand from yours “I have to open the door, princess” he whispers as he softly strokes your cheek before helping you into the passenger seat and buckling you up; while turning to close the door, he feels your hand wrap around his forearm. “Where are you going?” you query, worry filling your eyes. A sad smile forms on his lips, he caresses your cheek eyes finding yours. “I have to drive, silly girl” he explains softly. Your eyes stay connected for what feels like forever. He wants to remember your face right now forever. Your eyes telling of your love for him, the light pink blush gracing your cheeks. You were absolutely beautiful.

Hyunjin contemplates just closing the door and just going into the driver's seat as he feels the familiar feeling of your soft, velvet lips. He holds back a moan at the unexpected kiss, but responds almost instantly. Hyunjin missed this too, the feeling of your lips on his. Your mouths move in sync. Your tongue pokes out from your lips making its way into Hyunjin’s mouth and moan as your tongues connect. A sound that sends a shock straight down and suddenly his pants felt exceptionally tight. He was lost in the feeling, so much so that he almost forgot, you wouldn’t want this if you were sober; but as your fingers gripped his hair and he heard the familiar whines he knew this is where the line needed to be drawn. The last thing Hyunjin wanted to do was take advantage of your drunken state. And as much as he truly did miss how amazing the sex was, he knew that you’d never talk to him again if he continued; so, reluctantly, He pulls away and makes his way over to drivers' side and gets in.

The ride to your dorm was awkward to say the least. He had so much he wanted to say, apologies sit on the tip of his tongue. At this moment, Felix’s words rang through his head. Hyunjin felt as if he should just explain. You were sitting right there; sure, you were drunk and your reaction probably wouldn’t be the best right now but at least he’d get the chance to explain. He could feel your eyes burning into him and he wasn’t sure if you could tell but Hyunjin’s heart was racing. He practically jumped when he felt your hand snake onto his thigh making its way toward his member. Reacting quickly his hand wraps around your wrist “Whoa! What are you doing?” He exclaims. Did Hyunjin want you to practically beg for him again? Of course. But you were drunk and he was probably the last person you’d want to sleep with when sober. He loved you too much to let you do something you’d probably regret. “I miss you...” You pout. His resolve almost melts when he sees the puppy dog look in your eyes.  

“I miss you too baby but you don’t want to do this right now....” He whispers. He thanks God as he pulls into your dorm parking lot. “You’re home” he states softly as he takes your hand into his. You stare at your dorm before your eyes drift back to him. He notices the tears in your eyes, your hands are shaky. “What’s wrong?” He inquires. “I don’t want to go...I’m so fucking hurt-you hurt me so bad.” You cried “But I don’t want to go” Your eyes connected; He felt his heart break all over again “You don’t understand how fucking sorry I am. I love you I swear I love you so fucking much, I never meant to hurt you baby. I’m so fucking sorry” His voice cracks as he holds your hand tightly against his chest. His eyes never leave yours. “But we can’t have this conversation right now, you’re drunk you need sleep. I promise tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.” He promises. Your eyes flash back to your dorm, before you nod.  

“Tomorrow...”  

______________________________________________________________

You regret getting so drunk last night.

You had a massive migraine and you felt so fucking nauseous. But at least you could still remember most of your night, besides the walk to your dorm. Were you embarrassed? No not really.  

Did you regret it?......you weren’t sure. You had definitely appreciated Hyunjin not accepting your advances. BUT were you feeling up to talking to him today? No, and not cause you were still angry at this point you were more confused; but because you were 100% hungover. So, you instead of immediately texting Hyunjin to set up a time to talk, you took some Tylenol and rushed to the campus café. You quickly regretted running as you collide with the petite figure of someone coming out of the door. “I’m so sorry I should have been paying attention” You apologize reaching toward the girl, freezing in shock as you come face to face with Ye-na She went to snap a response before she mouths an ‘oh’ and taking your hand. With a shaky breath your grasp on her tightens “C-can we talk?” you ask shyly. She nods with a hesitance following you back into the café.  

The vibe was awkward and off as you both sipped your coffee silently, eyes looking everywhere around the room but at each other. “So, what’d you want to talk about?” “So did you know I was in the room that night?” You both question at the same time. You giggle at the timing. “That was impeccable timing” Ye-na chuckles before taking a sip of her coffee before continuing “But to answer your question, honestly, no. I didn’t.” she sighs. You nod in response before taking another sip of your coffee “Woul-would you have still said what you said if you did?”  

She ponders on your question for a moment before she lets out a heavy sigh “If you want the truth?” you nod in response “well then, no I wouldn’t have.” She answers matter of factly. You look at her confused “Why not?”  

“Well, the night you over heard me a few minutes before Hyunjin had kinda lost his shit on me. Again. Told me to leave him alone and to stop calling and texting him because what happened was a mistake and he loved you so he needed me to stop” She confesses. “But you said---oh I know what you heard, but he told me that months ago. Like right around the summer, I’m not gonna lie and say what I did was right too Y/N. And even though, me and Hyunjin had what we had. I never wanted to be the one to tell you that. I’m pretty surprised you haven’t lost your shit on me yet honestly”

You shrug. “You weren’t my boyfriend.”  

“So?” She counters before crossing her arms over her chest “Not to be a bitch or anything but I 100% knew about you; and just didn’t care honestly. See, here’s your problem Y/N cause obviously no one will give it to you straight. I’m not the only girl Hyunjin’s been with while he was with you. His reputation follows him and every single one of us knew what it was. Just like you probably did before you two made things official. I didn’t care he had a girlfriend, I didn’t care about your feelings, and I didn’t care if you gave a shit or not. I wanted a good time and he gave that to me for a bit and eventually I started caring. I hate myself for what I did but still I never wanted you to find out, especially when we were put in the same class. Like let's be real here no one would ever want to admit to the girlfriend of the guy you're hanging out with that you got rejected.”  

Your mouth hangs open at her honesty. You weren’t sure what to say, and while you appreciated her brazenness, you felt your blood boiling. “So is side chick your full-time gig or are you just on call?” you snap. She chuckles, almost to herself before her face falls flat. She crosses her right leg over her left before letting her arm fall into her lap holding up her chin “See, I knew you had some fire in you. Look, you asked I answered what you do with that is beyond me.” Your hangover long forgotten, and a fire in your eyes. “So what? You wanted to just be on the side until you got bored?” she shakes her head “Oh no, I’ll be real here, I saw the way Hyunjin looked at you. I knew at some point he’d realize what a dumbass he was being and it’d eventually stop; but, I was enjoying it while it lasted. He called things off months ago” To say you were now beyond confused would be an understatement, and while her reputation is definitely accurate about her bitchiness, she seemed honest. You heard something you weren’t supposed to, something that set the spark that ignited the flame behind your rage that night.  

“So, is that all?...or can I go?”

______________________________________________________________

Yeji and Lia were quite the pair.  

Apart from you and Karina, they were absolutely hilarious when they got together, they always seemed to make you laugh; and with Karina completely in the wind and flaking on your group's traditional hangover chill day-the first one in your honor by the way-you were left partner less until Yeji came over with Felix in tow. You and Lia couldn’t contain your laughter as Yeji dragged Felix into your living room with Karina’s matching bright lilac hairband across his head. “Oh, no fair why am I purple? Lia’s green?” Felix whines as he stomps his foot in place. “What’s wrong with purple?” Lia questions “and this is aquamarine” she declares with a point to her headband. “Purples for girls switch with me” He cries. “No!” Lia proclaims.

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeee”

“Hmmmmmm......No”

“Pwease”

“How bout no”  

“Pl--Holy Fuck! Felix if you say please again my head will explode. Switch with me” You growl, pulling your headband off and holding it out toward him. “Ooo Pink!” He exclaims excitedly. Yeji giggles as she finishes setting up her portable projector. “Felix?” she calls. His eyes are bright as he smiles in her direction “Yeah?” “You’re adorable” She smiles as she makes her way over to your couch ruffling his hair as she takes a seat next to him. He forms his hands in the shape of a heart before separating them and placing each half of the heart on his cheeks.  “Ahhh! Felix-oppa! I love you!  you’re the best idol in the world” You tease. Lia grips your hands as she joins in on your teasing. “Felix-oppa! Give us a song oppa!” you laugh as you and Lia jump in circles. “Ha.Ha.Ha. You’re both top tier comedians” Felix groans. “Lix, what do you mean? You literally rejected that scout from JYP” You ask whispering the JYP as you release yourself from Lia and make your way over to the couch. “I mean I don’t think being an idol would be for me”  

“Oh, come on Lix it was a joke” Lia whines “Yeah besides you could definitely be an idol. You’re an amazing dancer, you got the image for it” You mention. “And personality” Yeji adds. “Yeah! You have an awesome personality for an idol too, your fans would probably call you something adorable like sunshine or something cause of your personality” Felix blushes, bringing his hands to his face hiding. “Stop~!” He whines in embarrassment. You roll your eyes “Fine....so what are we doing first Yeji.” a mischievous smile forms on her lips “Well......” she giggles before she pulls out 4 mics from her bag.  

“OH, COME ON!” Felix shouts

______________________________________________________________

“Baby, Nal teojil geotcheoreom anajwo, Geuman saenggakae mwoga geuri eoryeowo Geojinmalcheoreom kiss-haejwo naega neoege, Majimak sarangin geotcheoreom Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Majimak bamin geotcheoreom love Majimakcheoreom (Yeah) ma-ma-majimakcheoreom (Yeah) Naeil ttawin eomneun geotcheoreom love” You guys sang. You laughed internally as you and Felix also did the choreography and ended up facing each other in Lisa’s part of the choreography. You smile in victory as the words WINNER flash across yours and Felix’s screen.  

“What’s the next song?” Felix giggles to Yeji. She shrugs “I don’t know it's your turn to choose Lixie” she states as she hands him her phone so he can go through the catalog. You take a seat on the couch with a heavy breath as Lia takes a seat next to you. “I don’t know how that boy has so much energy after last night” you groan. Lia gives a small giggle “He’s not human that’s why” she suggests. You ponder her statement for a moment “True” you both chuckle to yourselves. “But I actually just wanted to see how you were doing you know? You still haven’t really told me how your talk with Ye-na went. Or if you are actually going to meet with Hyunjin later”  

You sigh at her words “Well, I’m okay honestly. And my talk with Ye-na went.......fine.”  

“What do you mean?”  

“I mean she lives up to her reputation of being a grade A bitch.” You explain “But at least I got what I think is the truth from her” Lia stares at you dumbfounded. “And what about Hyunjin?” You shrug “What about him? Honestly, I was going to talk to him tonight which honestly, I’m not particularly ready to see him, especially after what I did last night....”  

“Girl what did you do last night?!”  

“Nothing crazy, just tried to get Hyunjin to sleep with me” You groan in embarrassment. “YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” Lia exclaims. Yeji’s and Felix’s eyes flash to you “Slept with who?” Yeji questions. You shake your head rapidly “No one. Nothing” you give Lia a glare, she sinks in her seat with her hand placed over her mouth. “Y/N who’d you sleep with?” Yeji urged. “No one honestly I just TRIED to sleep with someone and thank god they weren’t an asshole and knew I was drunk” You explain your glare not leaving Lia’s face. She mouthed a sorry before Twice’s Dance the Night Away played through your speakers. Felix jumped as he quickly paused the song “Sorry.” You, Lia, and Yeji laughed at the sudden interruption.  

“Felix you’re so cute”  

______________________________________________________________

Hyunjin couldn’t help but be on edge all day.  

You hadn’t texted or called and its almost 5, he felt himself slowly falling into insanity. His leg shaking rapidly as he checked his phone for what felt like the hundredth time today. Why hadn’t you texted? Hyunjin felt his heart racing as Changbin and Seungmin, Hyunjin’s dorm mate, shouted as they played their game. Hyunjin was nervous at how things would go, and while he knew the chances of you forgiving him were slim, he hoped you would give him another chance. He knew how badly he continuously fucked up before but he’d be different. He hopes you can remember how things had changed before you had left him, that you can see he does love you and he’d never do anything else to ruin it.  

He watched as the clock went up a minute. Then another, then another before his screen timed out. “Why don’t you just call her?” Changbin suggested pulling Hyunjin out of his thoughts. “Huh?” He called in confusion. Changbin and Seungmin look at each other before laughing. “Call her” The older male suggests. “I have remember? She doesn’t answer” He responds sarcasm dripping off his words. “Wasn’t that before she agreed to talk to you today though?” Seungmin asks. Hyunjin nods slowly “I don’t want to harass her though, what if she changed her mind?”  

“Then she’s a bitch for not letting you know” Seungmin snaps.

“Hey! Don’t talk about her like you know her” He warns.  

Seungmin rolls his eyes, before focusing back on the game. “I’m just saying she got your hopes up for nothing if she changed her mind, the least she could do is at least let you know that you two won't be talking today and she needs more time”  

“You act like she owes him anything honestly” Changbin mumbles, but Hyunjin heard it. He knew his friend was mad at how things played out, Changbin was big on loyalty and honesty. Even though, Hyunjin was one of his best friends it didn’t mean Changbin would hide his anger at Hyunjin’s treatment of you during the beginning of your relationship. The night you ended things whilst Jisung comforted him, Changbin tried to contain his laughter. His ‘I told you so’s’ became a daily routine for Hyunjin. Hyunjin couldn’t blame him though, Changbin had warned him to stop messing with you and take things seriously. Hyunjin could only wish he could go back and listen to him. If he did, he wouldn’t be in the situation he’s in now. You’d still be his. He’d still be able to call you if he just wanted to hear your voice. He wishes he could go back and kick his past self’s ass. Scream at him how fucking terrible it is without you. Changbin was right, you didn’t owe him anything, so Hyunjin sat quiet staring at your contact hoping something---anything would come through from it.  

Hyunjin’s gaze was pulled away by Changbin snatching his phone. Panic filled his chest “Wait! What are you doing?” he called as he went to grab his phone back. Seungmin jumps from his place on the couch standing between him and Changbin. “I’m calling Y/N” Changbin confesses as he presses the phone to his ear. “NO! No” He cries “Please dude I’m not kidding----Hello? Y/N? Yeah, its Changbin” Hyunjin’s eyes widen as he can hear your voice through the phone “Hang up! I’m not kidding Hang up” He pleaded tears practically blinding him as he struggled against Seungmin hold. “Oh yeah Hyunjin is right here, yeah I mean it’s a little weird I guess but I don’t have your number so...” Changbin winked at him, Hyunjin felt as if he would combust. “Oh, I mean he’s kinda tied up right now but I could definitely get him to meet you there.” Hyunjin froze in his place as Changbin continued “Yeah I think he’ll be there before that but yeah that works” “What’s she saying?” He whispers, Changbin holds his finger up. “Okay, but you should definitely text me Y/Nie~ who else is going to help me with.......you know what” The male whined.  

“Help you with what?” Hyunjin whispered.

Changbin shushed him “Well it was nice talking to you I’ll see you later bye Y/Nie~” Hyunjin stared at Changbin dumbfounded as he hung up the phone and handed it to him. “You guys got chips?” Changbin questioned casually. Hyunjin’s lips parted as he stood there with his phone in his hand, staring at Changbin. “Well....” He urged. Changbin looked at him confused.  

“Well, what?”  

“What did she say?”  

“She wants to talk to you” Changbin shrugged.  

Hyunjin’s eyes widen “And you were going to what? Just not tell me?!” He quickly started looking for his keys and wallet. Grabbing a bucket hat and hoodie in the process. The muscular male chuckled to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I was, when it was a few minutes before she said cause, I knew If I said anything you’d race out the door like you’re trying to do now besides you don’t even know where she wants you to meet her” Hyunjin stops in his tracks, “Where?” Changbin shrugs, Hyunjin pouts and stomps his foot “Tell meeeeee” he whines. And while Hyunjin knows he sounds pathetic; he’s not going to waste any more time. If there was a way to fix things then he was going to do it. But with his friend knowing him way too well and you saying a specific time Hyunjin knew he would have to wait. With that in mind, he stomped his way over to the couch. A pout on his lips, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared daggers at Changbin. Hyunjin wasn’t sure how much time went by as Changbin played on his phone ignoring Hyunjin’s death glare.  

“Her apartment, 5 minutes” He states with a smug smirk on his lips and a wink.  

“5 MINUTES!?” Hyunjin cries as he jumps from the couch and rushes toward the door.

“YOU ACT LIKE YOU WONT BE THERE IN TWO!!” He hears Changbin call as he sprints out the door.

______________________________________________________________

You paced back and forth as the clock got closer and closer to 6.  

Your heart was performing a full drum solo in your chest, your palms were sweaty and you felt like you were underwater. While you found it odd that Changbin had called you from Hyunjin’s phone you were grateful for him being the one to actually let Hyunjin know when to come talk. You had put it off for most of the day and after your conversation with Ye-na you were still utterly confused on what the entire truth was. You were happy Lia was willing to hang out at Yeji’s place while you and Hyunjin talked. You were also exceptionally grateful for Karina for having dropped off a bottle of vodka and encouraged you to do a shot; cause while you did feel anxious, at least you still felt brave enough to have this conversation. You weren’t sure what Hyunjin would say and you didn’t know what your relationship would be after tonight. There were two things you were sure about 1. Your relationship with Hyunjin was toxic and things would have to change drastically if you were to take him back. And 2. you still loved him despite the way he had treated you; you still loved him. You poured another shot, along with drinking you’ve picked up another bad habit since your break up with Hyunjin, smoking. And no, not something disgusting like cigarettes but you do find yourself lighting up a blunt and taking a couple of drags here and there.  

You enjoyed the calming feeling that came from marijuana. With your anxiety through the roof and having had a panic attack in front of him, Yeonjun from your dance class hooked you up with his guy. For the first day or two, you only smoked with Yeonjun in his dorm. But when Felix began questioning the nature of your friendship with Choi Yeonjun, knowing his bad boy reputation, you began to slowly distance yourself from Yeonjun. Felix found out shortly after about your little habit but promised not to say anything to anyone else. You found yourself surprised when your new smoking buddy became Felix. Only smoking when you felt huge bouts of anxiety coming on and you needed to calm down. Your pulled away from your thoughts as a series of rapid knocks came to your door. You jumped in a panic quickly putting the blunt out on your tongue before stashing it away under a magazine on the coffee table. “Shit” You groaned as you tried to fan the smoke away. You rush to the door almost tripping over your shoes before you pull the door open with a sigh. You stare down your ex as your chest heaves, you notice him leaning against the door frame struggling to catch his breath “You, okay? You look like you ran a marathon” Hyunjin struggled to get out in-between gasps.  

“You’re one to talk” You counter gesturing to him. You notice suspicion in his eyes “What’s that smell?” your heart sinks in your chest. “What? Oh, yeah Felix got me into those incense things recently” you lie “trust me babe I’ve been to plenty of parties to know what weed smells like so try that again” Hyunjin calls your bluff. You swallow nothing, you find yourself growing irritated at the smug smirk on his lips. When you were together you would have immediately cracked and probably told him everything, but now, oh now you wanted to whip that smirk off his face “Are you going to keep interrogating me? Or are we going to talk about what we actually need to talk about?” You snap. “And don’t act like you have a right to ask me anything personal right now” His whole confident demeanor is washed away by your words; you notice the panic in his eyes as he stands straight; the smirk no longer on his lips instead there sat a small pout. “Fine...can I come in or is that question too personal too?”  You roll your eyes before stepping to the side and allowing him entry.  

“Soo, where is it then huh?” He asks casually.  

“Where’s what?”  

He chuckles at your question “Nothing” his eyes drift around the room. You and Lia hadn’t changed much in the time since he’s last been here, beside the smell of marijuana, it was pretty much the same. He notices the one magazine out of place and glances in your direction. “What? What are you looking for?” You question, irritation leaks into your tone. “Your weed” He shrugs. You two stand across the room for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Your eyes in a battle with one another, eventually you realize he’s not going to let this go and you wanted answers so with a heavy heart you roll your eyes before making your way over to the coffee table and toss the magazine to the side. “There. Happy?” You groan frustrated before falling back onto your couch. “Ecstatic” He replies sarcastically. “Like come on Y/N you really thought I'd be okay with you doing that?”  

“You don’t do weed, Hyunjin”  

“That’s not my fucking point Y/N and you know it! Why are you smoking in the first place?”  

You couldn’t help but laugh “If you gave any of a shit during our relationship, you’d know I have an anxiety disorder.” You lean forward grabbing the vodka bottle and pour yourself a shot. “I did give a shit.” “What? When I broke up with you? I mean come on” You toss the shot back swallowing it whole “You didn’t give a shit not for a long time” Hyunjin stood in place dumbfounded. This is not how this conversation was supposed to go, but right now at least it was something, and even though he was raging at the idea of you being high right now he had to give it you; you were right, he didn’t know you had an anxiety disorder. Why didn’t he know that? “Look I know I fucked up, but I care about you and I know what can happen if you’re high and just not paying attention”  

“I smoke when I’m home or with.... someone I’m not stupid.”  

“Someone? Who Felix?”  

“No....just...someone”  

“Well, someone is going to get their ass kicked so Y/N needs to let me know who”  

“Why?”  

Hyunjin’s jaw was clenched, you’ve never been this difficult and it was hard for him not to let his jealousy show. He needed to know who the fuck got you to smoke and he needed to teach them to stay in their place. “Fuck Y/N! Just tell me!” He growls, his fists clenched. “No! I don’t have to tell you shit! You're going to ruin my connect. Why don’t you go question Ye-na or any of the other sluts you cheated on me with?” Hyunjin had nothing to say to that. He stared at you with hurt in his eyes “It wasn’t like that” he mumbled “So what was it like then?” He wasn’t sure how to answer that question. While he was willing to answer any questions you had he himself wasn’t sure what it was like honestly. “I don’t know.... just not this fucking picture you have in your mind about things” He grumbled. “You don’t know what I'm thinking right now” You retort. “You’re right. I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking right now! You've been naïve but you’ve never been fucking stupid” He argued. “So, I’m stupid now?!” You cross your arms over your chest “When you’re smoking weed and getting black out drunk? yes!”  

“I wasn’t black out dr----You called me! Just fucking stop Y/N. You’re doing stupid shit and you’re going to get yourself hurt. Bad.” He cut you off. He didn’t understand why you were being this way and whilst he was supposed to be explaining the Ye-na situation, he couldn’t help but be angry at your recklessness. “You’d know all about that right?” you snap. “YOU ACT LIKE I MEANT TO HURT YOU” He shouted. You reach for the bottle again but Hyunjin’s quicker and snatches it from your grasp. “You’ve drank enough for the past two days don’t you think?” He growls as he places the bottle down on your shelf.  You stare daggers at him in response. A smirk on your face as you reach for your blunt and put it to your lips “Fucking stop! Y/N”  

“Oh please! Look at you, you’re acting all high and mighty. Your hypocrisy is showing Hyunjin” you challenge as you light the blunt. Your eyes not leaving his. “I haven’t smoked for a while Y/N. I haven’t done anything I used to do for a while” he confesses, realizing there were more important things to talk about. He hopes you catch the double meaning behind his words. You sat quietly taking in a long drag before releasing the smoke. “Is that supposed to impress me or something? I don’t think you realize how much this whole thing fucked me up---How you fucked me up, Hyunjin!” you exclaim, quickly getting to your feet. “Fuck please just-just tell me what to do then?! I don’t know what you fucking want! I’m trying and the more I try the more you pull away! You think this shit is easy for me? It’s not! You ripped my fucking heart out too you know? Instead of just talking to me or even letting me say fucking anything you ended things and that’s only because I found you that night!” He growls crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes are filled with fire. “Oh boo-fucking-Hoo your girlfriend found out you cheated and dumped you how fucking sad” you retort “Do you need a hug?” you couldn’t contain your sarcasm. You were beyond livid. How dare he sit there and act like he was an innocent bystander.  

“Can you be fucking serious for one minute? fucking Christ.”  

“Can you be honest for one minute?”  

“What?! You wanna know if I cheated on you?!” He argues, you stare at him with fury behind your eyes “no I kno---Yeah! I fucked Ye-na…..months ago! When I didn’t give a fuck about you or this relationship!” He cuts you off, you notice the anger dissipating from him being replaced with guilt and regret. You’re frozen in place and Hyunjin makes his way around the coffee table and places himself in front of you, his hands firmly wrapped around your arms.  “But I haven’t cheated on you in months, I’ve been with no one else in almost a year! I know its fucked up, I know I’m wrong for what I did but I changed.” His voice cracks as your eyes drift around the room, you could feel your anger leaving you as well, whilst he confesses. “What changed then?” you question, your voice is almost inaudible. “You. Well, I wanted to change for you. I’ll tell you everything you want to know but please just at least don’t drink anymore today, okay? I’m not kidding it was really scary to find you like that last night. I know what I did ruined my right to care but I do, I care so fucking much. And I need you to be okay, not amazing, not happy even, but at least okay” His hands find themselves holding your face to make you look at him. Your fingers wrap around his wrist.  

“Hyun, I’m fine....”  

He shakes his head in response “Now who’s the one that won't be honest? You’re not fine and I know I’m part of the reason for that. I should have been better to you, I was confused about how I felt and I-I---sigh----I fucked up, so fucking bad. But once I realized how I felt I tried so hard to fix things and change and just leave that shit behind.” you stare at him in shock. You find your legs growing wobbly and your chest is tightening. You can feel your breathing getting heavier and heavier the more Hyunjin talks. You remove Hyunjin’s grasp on you and take a seat on the couch, you knew your anxiety would be off the charts. “Ca-can I ask you something then?” You ask, your voice is small. “Anything” Hyunjin sits on the table, you give him a small glare “Is me answering question more important than your stupid rule?” he argues before you can scold him for sitting on your table. “Did I mean anything to you? Like at all? I’m not going to lie I was so fucking confused for such a long time and I’m really tired of it.” Hyunjin’s hand ran over his face before finding its way to the back of his neck. “You mean everything to me....” His words are practically whispers. “So why---I can’t answer that. I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to you so I won't answer that question” He cut you off.  

“You said you’d answer everything”  

“I said you could ask me anything, please, just know things are different now than they were, okay?”  

“Hyunjin I need to know....”  

“I can tell you how I feel now, I don’t feel the same way anymore so why does it matter?”

There they were again. The same question he always asked; does it matter? And for once you have a genuine answer “Yes it matters.” He sighs in response, grabbing the blunt that went out long ago from your hand and the lighter. You stare at him as he lights it and takes a long hit off it. You notice the way his hands are shaky and tears well up in his eyes. “Fine, honestly, when this all started, I didn’t really care. ---obviously---just listen. Y/N. I didn’t care and not because of you but because you know how I felt about relationships.” He confesses. “So, why’d even ask me out in the first place? In case you forgot Hyunjin, the whole reason we were even in a relationship was because you initiated it.” You question, puzzled. “I-I know I did, I got jealous honestly...---of who? I was only hooking up with you at the time” You cut him off “Minho and a little Han but mostly Minho” He states honestly. “Huh?” now you were really confused, why Minho? He was your dance partner last year and was the best dancer of 3rd year. But you two were no more than acquaintances at most and while you did spend a lot of time with him last year it was always about dance.  

“There was a rumor going around that Minho was going to confess and ask you out....”  

“And so, you asked first? So, he couldn’t?”  

Hyunjin nods in response, “I know it's stupid, and we were hooking up so I should’ve trusted that you liked me but I was insanely fucking jealous and it just happened. But I don’t regret it, I fell in love with you and I want to show you things would be different. I ended things with Ye-na almost as soon as they happened and—fuck—I know how badly I fucked up. I just want to fix things, I want to be with you, I feel so lost without you. I love you and I’ll make you trust me again.” You felt your heart clench at the softness in his tone. He seemed scared, he kept fidgeting as he allowed the blunt to go out and placed it on your table beside him. His breathe was shaky as he explained. “Would you have ever told me?” You ask “a-about anything?” he shakes his head “If I knew for a fact that you wouldn’t have broken up with me then yes but otherwise, I never wanted you to find out.”  

“Why?”

“Huh?”  

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”  

“Because look what happened when you found out! Fuck I lost you and that was the whole reason I stopped everything with everyone but you because I didn’t want to lose you but Ye-na told you whatever she told you that night and I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t answering my messages and I was fucking panicking because I just wanted to get you out of there because she was fucking pissed. But she saw you first---I still don’t understand how everything happened---all I know is that losing you has been the worst thing that’s ever happened to me right now and I just-I want to be with you. I can be better; I’ll do whatever you want. I can make you happy.” He cried, he held onto your hands. Tears stream down his face, you stare at him sadly “It wasn’t just the cheating, Hyunjin. You can’t say you didn’t act like I wasn’t a burden. I know you said things would change but how can I be sure of that? For a long time, things were…. bad and I don’t want to be hurt again” you state hesitantly. “I won’t—I’ll be better I can help you trust me. I can love you the right way. I’ve never done this before but I’ll figure it out for you. Anything. Please just-just take me back, you don’t have to completely forgive me but please tell me I didn’t ruin things forever. Fuck I need to know you still love me, please tell me you still love me” He pleaded, he was on his knees his eyes never leaving yours. Rivers of tears flow down his angelic face.  

Your heart racing, you remove your hand from his, caressing his cheek wiping tears from their descent. “of course, I still love you. But I’m so fucking hurt and I don’t know if I could trust you.” He shakes his head “N-no do-don’t say that please. You can trust me. I’ll prove to you that you can please just give me a chance. I won’t hurt you again” he begs reaching into his pocket and unlocking his phone before shoving it in your hands. “You can go through it. Everything. And you can do that until you trust me again. I will do everything I can to be with you again.” You stare at the device in your hands, you notice his wallpaper. A selfie you had sent him a few months ago from your dance practice with Felix for the showcase. You felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you locked the device and handed it back to him “I-I don’t want to do that. I’m not that kind of person, Hyun and as much as I want to try things again, I can’t do that until I can trust you again.” Hyunjin buried his face in your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist. You felt his tears on your shoulder as he held you. “I can’t-I can’t lose you give me a chance just one chance please” He begged.

“Hyun...”  

He pulls back slightly, your eyes connect. Your faces centimeters apart. “You’re everything to me....” He whispers pressing his forehead against yours. “I won’t fuck this up again. I need you” Your bottom lip finds its way between your teeth. You hate how just him being close could affect you so badly. “I-I-I do-don’t know.... Hyun, I love you b-but I’m scared honestly. How can you know that yo-you won’t cheat on me again or something? I can’t deal with being hurt like that again” You profess. “I’ll give you my passwords, you can have the code to my phone, anything---everything I don’t care give me a chance please, you saw that I was changing babe you know I can make you happy. I did once, I can do it again. Better. I love you I want to give you all of me please” He begged. You weren’t sure what to say. You wanted to be with him, fuck you only wanted to be with him. Your heart ached for him every day since you had broken up, but you felt like it could also be a big mistake. You stared at him for a moment, everything about him was objectively the same. He still had the same flawless skin, the same seductive look in his eye; even when he wasn’t trying to have it, the same plush kissable pouty lips, but something was different and you weren’t entirely sure what, and whilst his new black hair had been quite the surprise last night. You knew that was definitely not what was different. But you definitely wanted to find out.  

You felt your heart race as you tilt your chin up connecting your lips. You felt butterflies fluttering in your gut as you feel that familiar spark. Hyunjin sat in shock for a second before he responded quickly. His heart soared as he felt your lips mold into his, his hand finding its way to your waist as he deepened the kiss parting your lips with his tongue. You open your mouth accepting his tongues exploration. He loved that you always allowed him dominance in your relationship, never once battling to be in charge. He missed your taste so much his mouth practically watered as your tongues dance around in your mouth. Your fingers find their way into his midnight locks.  

You both find yourselves sprawled across the couch, your back pressed against the cushions as Hyunjin straddled you; your legs wrapped around his waist as you devoured each other's mouths. A small moan escapes from your throat as Hyunjin grinds his hips into yours. His lips make their way to your throat. “H-Hyun...” You moan. “Tell me you’re mine” He begs “Please, baby?” You feel your panties growing wet “A-all yours, Hyunnie” Hyunjin could practically cry at your words; He presses his lips against yours roughly, putting every ounce of emotion he could into the kiss. “I love you” He confesses as he pulls away stroking your hair behind your ear. “Fuck... you’re so fucking beautiful baby” you feel your cheeks heat up, you bury your face in his neck. “Stoooopppp” you whine. “No, I’m so fucking happy right now baby” He smiles adjusting you both so you were straddling his lap. His hands find their way to your thighs, stroking them up and down, lovingly. You giggle at his actions, “You’re something else”  

“Tell me you love me” He pouts.  

“Hyun...”

“Tell me!”  

“Hyunnie...”  

“Baby~ Tell me you love mee”  

You roll your eyes at his whining. A smile placed firmly on your lips as he stared at you with a pout. “Fuck you’re so cute I love you too” you break. A wide smile forms on his lips his arms wrap around your torso pulling you into his chest. “I won’t fuck up this time. I promise baby” “I hope not, I’m really scared still, Hyun” You confess. “I know baby, but I know what it's like to be without you now. I’m not doing it again; you’re stuck with me. All I see is you now baby” He admits shyly. you kiss him in response, grinding your hips into his. You almost jump as you feel his hard member against your clothed core. His hands find their way to your hips holding you in place “Fuck, you can’t do that” He warns. You look at him with a pout. “Why not?”  

“Because, baby, you just can’t right now” He states.  

“But...” you kiss his neck seductively, nibbling and sucking on his sweet spot; you felt his grip on you grow tighter. “It’s been so long, and I want you so bad right now” You hear him sigh “Fuck...” He whispers under his breath. “Baby, stop, please I want to do things the right way” He can feel his resolve breaking the more you continue. If there was one thing Hyunjin knew for sure, it was that the last thing he truly wanted in this world right now was for you to stop. “Don’t you want me?” you question. “More than anything else in the world right now” He missed you, in every way. Not only has it been a really fucking long time since he last was even able to think about sex with anyone but his hand, but in that time, he found himself always feeling exceptionally heartbroken every time he thought about sex with anyone but you. If anyone wanted it right now, Hyunjin definitely did, but he wanted to do things right this time. His past self would hate him for what he was trying to do without question.  

“Please....daddy, I can be so good for you.” you pleaded. “F-fuck...I-I know you can baby, you always are.” He soothes, rubbing your thigh with his thumb “I need to do things the right way with you, this time” His voice is almost inaudible. You grind yourself against him once more, “whyyyyy~” you whine. You guide his hand up your thigh to your hips and under your shirt placing them on your rubs just under your breasts. Hyunjin’s eyes are stuck on your now partially exposed torso, his mouth waters at the feeling the pressure from your hips are causing on his fully hard member. You find yourself growing more and more aroused as time went on. His bottom lip finds its way between his teeth as you continue grinding against him. “babyyyy stop~” he coos, his cheeks heat up and while he’s used to you being submissive and always eager for sex, he’s never had you literally begging for it before. You just took him back and he wasn’t going to immediately just jump back into things like before. But God did he want to fuck you right now.  

You leaned forward once more kissing his neck, you heard the groans under his breath. You thrived in knowing how badly you were affecting him. “Fuck….” He growled as he wraps his arms around your waist tightly holding you still. He flips the two of you over, pressing his lips to yours before pulling himself off of you. You pout at his actions “what are you doing?” you question, puzzled. “Taking you somewhere to get food, because someone can’t control herself” He teases with a wink. You roll your eyes at him “watch how fast I reject you next time” you mumble as you lift yourself from your couch and make your way toward your room. “I heard that. Don’t play that game with me cause I will definitely win baby. But where are you going?” He states with a raised eyebrow. “To change I can’t go out in this” you gesture to your clothes. You rush into your room closing the door behind you. You make your way into your closet and grab a tight long sleeve and jeans. You notice Hyunjin laying across your bed, his arm placed behind his head a comfortable smile placed on his lips. You toss your clothes at him “you know I closed the door for a reason, right?” you muse. He nods “you know I don’t give a fuck right, I missed you.” He pouts “I had to go two months without even seeing you, you’re not leaving my side for a while.” He declares.  

“I have to sleep and stuff Hyun”  

he shrugs “so? You act like I won’t just not leave.” He tosses your clothes at you before crossing his arms over his chest. You chuckle in response, changing into your clothes. “You act like I’d have a problem with that baby” Hyunjin’s cheeks grow red at your words. “O-okay” he stammers shyly. You’ve always called him Hyun, or Hyunnie or on the rare occasion Jinnie but hearing you call him baby made Hyunjin’s heart race. He was absolutely nervous as you stood there, running the brush through your hair. “Y-you ready?” he questions, his eyes roaming over your figure. He groans internally why did he want to do things the right way? Fuck you always looked so good; he felt his heart flutter at your smile as you nod. He lifts himself from your bed as you make your way to the door. Hyunjin wraps his arms around your waist from behind pulling you into him. You squeak as he kisses your cheek. “I love you, baby” he smiles as he grabs hold of your hand spinning you to face him before re-placing his hand on your waist pulling you into him tightly, his free hand caresses your cheek. “I love you too” you press your lips against his. Your heart flutters, your fingers feel tingly.  

The love you had for him always seemed to leave you…. breathless.

__________________________________________________________

Taglist: @xxoverthinkerxx​ @elmi-chan​ @midsoulz​ @hyunjintoon​ 

#hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smut #breathless #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #hyunjin break up #hyunjin make up #hyunjin toxic #hyunjin #skz angst #skz fluff #skz smut #stray kids hyunjin

[practickles]

ShiHonami Tickle Headcanons

This is not proofread. I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. Have a ^-^ Honami as an apology.

My beloveds.

I don’t think either of them like tickle fights.

Overwhelming for Shiho in a sensory way and overwhelming for Honami in a “oh no what how am I supposed to act? Do they like it? Do I like it? I’m laughing but I’m supposed to be fighting back.” Just too much emotional input at the same time, poor girl.

So instead of a tickle “fight” they have little back and forths. One tickles the other without any resistance and when either one of them wants to flip roles, they’ll say “your turn” and immediately they’ll stop and readjust. 

Shiho felt especially silly the first few times they did it and would wait for Honami to flip them. (It was definitely Honami’s idea in the first place) With time though, she came around to it and actually began to really love being able to have an easy way to get a break when the tickling got to be too much and to subtly-not-so-subtly be on the receiving end when she was ready again. 

(I actually really love this idea. May or may not end up doing something more with it.) 

Mean ler Shiho x Shy lee Hona and Soft ler Hona x Grumpy/Embarrassed lee Shiho. That is the whole dynamic here. End of post. Enough said. 

I think it would take a while for Shiho to really warm up to “mean” territory. Saki instigated a lot of tickling when they were little but that was really the last time Shiho or Honami tried tickling each other until they were dating.

It’s not like either of them were uncomfortable with the idea of tickling each other. Quite the contrary actually, but Shiho never knew how to start it and Honami was always too scared of springing it on Shiho and embarrassing her. 

It would have to be an accident the first time. I’m thinking along the lines of Honami affectionately stroking Shiho’s back and getting a liiiittle too close to her sides and thinking she’s squirming trying to get comfortable so Honami grabs her sides to help adjust. Shiho’s yelp out of nowhere makes the conversation kind of inevitable. 

Shiho is tragically embarrassed with anything affection-wise to begin with. How could anyone expect the same girl who just about combusted the first time Honami held her hand to have a collected reaction to tickling? 

Honami, however, is only a little flustered but that all but melts away the moment she sees just how bad Shiho has it. She’s a saint when it comes to getting her girlfriend to calm down. She’s very patient and likes to take everything very slow for her. 

Starting with little strokes and pokes and ramping up to more laughter inducing tickles. 

While sweet, this drives Shiho absolutely insane. It’s just so much build up, sometimes she’d rather Honami just throw her in the deep end. 

To make it worse, Shiho doesn’t really have a “giggle stage.” She’s so ticklish it's either face scrunched and red or loud belly laughs. Very little room for inbetween.

I imagine she has a really high pitched and squeaky tickle laugh. Almost like a continuous voice crack. Honami finds it adorable, of course, and actually gets a little sad when Shiho tries to hide it. 

Shiho isn’t much of a squirmer but MAN is she a kicker. To the point either pinning or dodging her is almost a necessity. Apologizes profusely if she ever kicks Honami (and only Honami. Anyone else tickling her deserved it) 

Honami loves loves loves getting to kiss Shiho’s stomach.

She always has the best reactions to it too. Jerking her head back and forth and going all red. Sucking in her tummy like that’s going to protect it. 

 Not even because it tickles all that much (comparatively) but just because the action of her girlfriend having her in such a vulnerable position, flat on her back and kissing her stomach is just so silly and makes her feel so small and cared for is IMMENSELY flustering. 

Honami’s sweetness just really gets to her on a psychological level. 

Another pairing that is sweet ler x asshole ler

When Shiho gets going on the tickling, she GETS going. The problem is just getting her to that point. 

When she’s sure of herself and Honami is clearly VERY happy and eager, Shiho holds nothing back. Full on side splitting laughing and nonstop teases for the lee.

“Aw, going to squirm Hona? That’s so cute watching how helpless and ticklish you are. You wouldn’t stop me even if you could and we both know it.” Type of beat. 

Honami likes it far more than she’d like to admit. Shiho just has this tone that even in a completely normal, non tickling context can get her lee. 

Honami loves being in a lee mood almost more than any other feeling in the world. It feels so warm and all encompassing. 

She can’t think about anything but tickles really. It doesn’t happen often but when it does, it goes all the way. 

She used to feel guilty about expressing it to Shiho just how *bad* it is but after many, many, reminders, she finally got it into her brain that her girlfriend finds it absolutely precious. 

Shiho can be soft, especially when she knows it’s Honami’s favorite, she just gets impossibly even more shy at it. 

Doesn’t tease much when Honami just needs some smiles and relaxation. 

Very soft tracing, almost as if she’s scared too much will break her. 

Shiho will almost never go for her unprovoked. And is unfortunately absolute garbage at being able to tell when she’s being provoked. 

But all Honami has to do is look at her with her blush and shy little smile asking for it and Shiho is all over her. 

When Shizuku would be clingy/force her sister into a hug as kids, Shiho learned that tasing her sides got her to jump back long enough to push away and developed the unfortunate habit of delivering that treatment to anyone who hugs her out of nowhere. Honami’s sides aren’t bad enough to have that strong of an effect consistently but typically gets her giggly enough to get Shiho in a playful ler mood just watching her. She retaliates from the hug attack with a full strength tickle attack. 

#project sekai tickles #tickling #sfw tickling community #shiho hinomori #honami mochizuki #pjsk tickle hcs #tickle hcs #lee!shiho #ler!shiho #lee!honami #ler!honami #practickles 2.24

[doll-r-t]

A Weird Position to Relax in

Syverson x autistic/ADHD!reader

(No race or body type explicitly stated! And written by and actually autistic/ADHD person)

Summary: you have the habit of getting into weird positions to relax and just hang out. (Inspired by the pictures I saw on Pinterest)

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Masterlist

Pictures found on Pinterest and mood board made by me. Credit to the people the photos belong to!

Syverson loved living with you for a very weird and specific reason. Something he had not noticed prior to living with you. Every time he came home, especially late. He would wonder how he would find you this time? 

Yes you had the weirdest habit when it came to well… positions. 

You could relax or sleep in the weirdest positions. It looked so uncomfortable to him but you looked more than fine. 

You called it things like floor time. Needing to just lay on the ground. You had no idea why but it felt so good. You would sometimes just lay there and stare at the wall. Not in sadness or anything. Just, you know, hanging out. 

When he first saw you in q weird position he just looked at you, exclaiming: "what the fuck are you doing?" He was amused. 

Soon creating a game in his head: how would he find you today? 

On his way home he would decide which room, couch floor or bed, and which position he would find you in.

Yet, most of the times you still surprised him

That is why he loved you, you made him laugh as soon as he stepped into the flat

And although you were not aware of his game, he was giddy every single day to come home to you, excited to see what kind of weird position you came up with 

One time he had found you in a small nook with you body almost bend in half on your hip, this was one of the weirdest one 

“How are you comfortable?” 

You just looked confused at him, your phone in your hand, shrugging your shoulder 

One time he woke up in the middle of the night and you were not next to him,

he went in search for you and found you in the small pantry/guest room in your house

The house was not big but you insisted of having another bed in case anyone ever needed to stay over 

You were sat on the floor next to the bed in your PJs 

just when he entered you had taken a big bite from a take out pizza 

Smiling through a full mouth you held up the pizza carton, 

“You want some?”, mumbling through your bites 

“It's 3 a.m.?!” He looked at you bewildered. 

“What are you doing?!” 

You just shrugged and took another big bite

“I woke up and was hungry.” 

“How did you get this stuff?” 

Looking at him like he was an idiot you held up your phone, waving it around 

“I did not hear the doorbell.��� 

“Didn’t want to wake you so waited until I saw their car then went outside.” 

He rubbed his eyebrows, Sitting down on the floor as well, 

It was a tight fit but he took one of the slices anyway 

“Don’t go out next time.” He said after a bite 

“Either let them ring, don’t care if it wakes me. Or tell them to put it down at the front door and then wait until they leave.” After a pause he went on 

“Actually, just get me.” 

You smiled softly up at him, “Okay.” 

You knew he was worried about strangers coming to your home at night and you coming to harm 

He mustard you for one more second before nodding at your phone 

You pressed play on the episode your were watching and you two sat their just eating 

Although it was a bit uncomfortable, sitting like this for him after a while he could not bring himself to care 

He had not done this since before his military career

Just sitting down in the middle of the night with a bunch of junk food and a cute girl while watching TV on your shitty phone 

Shitty, because you constantly dropped it, the screen was slightly chipped and it just looked worn out 

He wanted to get you a new one but you waved him away, 

“It’ll just end up looking like this anyway.” 

He made sure that you were able to call him or the police in case you were in trouble and when he was confident your shitty phone could he had let it be 

You eventually fell asleep on the floor, seemingly fully comfortable and your tummy full with food

He waited until the episode was finished just looking at you in amused fascination that you could just sleep like this 

“You would be a great army personal” He thought, they had to sleep whenever and wherever they could 

Groaning he stood up, stretching himself 

Picking you up he made his way back with you to bed

One of the funniest ones was when he came home and you were working on the computer, the small fluffy kitten you had adopted from a shelter, laying on your head

He was not too fond of cats but he could never say no to you, so when both you and the cat looked up at him with big pleading eyes, he finalized the adopted 

You cuddled her to you and talked about you were its new mummy and the big rough looking guy driving the car was its new daddy

He liked the sound of that and melted even more when you reassured the kitten that he only looked scary but he was a big warm cuddle bug 

So when he came home to you working on the computer with the kitten on your head happy as ever he barked out a laugh. 

“Oh God she is you in cat form.” 

However, he soon only called the little kitten “Princess” or “little miss” when he was cross, giving you a glimpse at how he would be with a daughter

Now he would come home to you, his beloved everything and his furr daughter in weird positions 

And eventually he would just lay next to you on the ground or, whatever weird spot you were and would hang out 

You’d put your blanket around him and the little kitten would snuggle up with him, purring at his warmth 

“I think I get it now.”

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#captain syverson x reader #syverson fluff #syverson imagine #captain syverson smut #captain syverson angst #syverson x reader #syverson fanfiction #syverson x ofc #syverson x you #catain syverson #henry cavill #henry cavill x autistic reader #henry cavill x autistic!reader #henry cavill x disabled!reader #henry cavill x reader #Henry Cavill x ADHD!reader #Henry Cavill x ASHD reader #sand castle (movie) #captain syverson #syverson #captain syverson x you #captain syverson imagine #captain syverson headcanon #captain syverson x autistic!reader #syverson x autistic!reader #syverson x autistic reader #captain syverson x Autisitc reader #syverson x ADHD!reader #syverson x adhd reader #captain syverson x female reader

[heyclickadee]

So I forgot that this was in my drafts and has just been sitting in there for a month and a half. Anyway, actual ramblings on “Replacements”:

1. I took notes while watching this one. My first note just says, “Sad whale noises,” underlined four times, with a little frowny face.

2. Hunter’s little lopsided grin as he says, “Well, that doesn’t look comfortable—for either of you,” to Omega and Gonky. He’s stressed and not sure what to do next, but he’s still kind of playful at this point. The depression hasn’t quite set in. And Omega’s little, “We’re fine.” That’s the “We’re fine,” of, “My legs are asleep and I can’t feel my spine but I’d rather die than take up space or admit I’m uncomfortable because I don’t know what I can get away with around you guys,” I swear….

3. Gonky’s little kicky feets!! Also, how did he get down there? Did he fall over while Tech was doing some unnecessary barrel rolls? Did Wrecker put him there? Did he flop over so Omega could use him as a backrest?

4. Again, Hunter’s deadpan shake of the head when Wrecker just *fyoom* inhales that ration bar. Also, can we talk about how much living on ration bars must suck? You probably get your caloric needs for the day, but it’d be like eating one single cliff bar for every meal. You wouldn’t starve or be malnourished, but you’d never feel full, hence why Wrecker, who is lärge and probably has the metabolism of a Bugatti, never has (I want to make him all the treats! He deserves all the cinnamon rolls and pie and plank grilled salmon and burgers and…).

5. I do kind of appreciate that they start introducing the idea that practical needs, like food and ship fuel, are a concern for these guys, and that they’re more or less flat broke. Other Star Wars shows have touched on people having to actually pay for things to survive—that’s part of the point of the Lando episode of Rebels—but’s a constant thread in this show. Clone Force 99 is always a few really bad days from being stranded, because they can’t afford to fuel the ship, and starving, because they’re out of food.

6. I do kind of appreciate that even though Hunter physically pushes Wrecker back to keep him from grabbing Omega’s ration bar (good for Omega for offering it but), he does so pretty gently, and he drops his voice because even though he wants Wrecker to understand that Omega will absolutely inconvenience herself to make other people comfortable, he doesn’t want to call Wrecker out in front of the whole ship. He’s trying to make it as private as he can…in the space RV…with limited space. Besides, it’s not as though Hunter could shove Wrecker out of the way unless Wrecker allowed himself to be pushed. “I’m gonna push you away from someone who doesn’t need to overhear us now, back up with me,” seems to just be the accepted language of private conversation between all of them. And I also appreciate that Wrecker, as fundamentally kind, gentle, and emotionally intelligent as he is, does have a little trouble switching to/considering other perspectives. He never needs reminding once it’s pointed out, but he does sometimes need it pointed out to begin with.

7. Tech says he’s building the brain scanner so that he can double check that their chips don’t work. Bullshit. BULL. SHIT. I mean, okay, not total bullshit—I do think he’s at least partially telling the truth. He’s definitely thinking that Crosshair was acting the way he was because his chip activated, and if Crosshair’s chip activated, then why wouldn’t theirs? It’d be good to check. But I think that’s a secondary reason. Based on how he’s the one who brings up the chip as an explanation for Crosshair’s behavior, the added context of season two, and the way he totally drops the scanner after this episode until Rex shows up in episode seven, I really think he’s building it because he’s under the impression that they’re going back for Crosshair sooner than later, and he thinks they’ll need it to locate his chip so they can figure out a way to deactivate or remove it. Tech just told Echo what he did so he could keep working on it.

8. “It’s not affecting life support. We’re fine.” “Are you kidding me?!” I love them. Also: Shout out to poor Gonky rattling around the back of the Marauder like the last tic-tac left in the pack. Get the poor droid a seatbelt.

9. I love that Wrecker tests his tie-down to make sure it’s locked. The Bad Batch isn’t a perfect show, but I adore little background gestures like these, and it’s full of them, even compared to the other animated shows. They help the characters feel a little more alive.

10. I feel like I need to have a, “That’s one hell of a pilot,” counter for every time Tech does some impressive piloting. The ship isn’t functioning correctly and goes from zero visibility and turbulent conditions to, “OH SHIT, THE GROUND,” and a very narrow window in which he can react, and he still manages to land the ship. Not crash, land. With the landing gear down. And, yes, I’m sure that there is some kind of ILS system on the ship for low visibility landings, since this is a universe where autopilot exists, but still—Tech kind of strikes me as the sort of person who would turn autopilot off. (Also, tell me that if the ship would be in one piece if it was Anakin flying it. I love Anakin, and he’s a phenomenal pilot, but I also think that both Tech and Hera could outfly him.)

11. There’s something endearing about the way that they all spring into doing different jobs to figure out how to get out of the mess they’re in once they’ve landed—Echo’s checking the weather, since it’s knocking out their commas and they can’t call for help; Tech’s checking which parts they need to fix the ship and if they have any on board; Hunter’s making sure everyone’s okay and getting Gonky on his feet; Wrecker…might actually just be recovering because he hit his head pretty hard (STOP DOING THAT, WRECKER. STOP IT)—and Omega doesn’t want to be left out or useless so she instantly starts trying to help out, too.

12. “That’s…Crosshair’s weapon kit.” Hello darkness my old friend….

13. Everything about this moment is a gut punch. The way Hunter just stares at the weapons kit for a moment, the way that Wrecker’s the first one to speak up, the anger on Echo’s face when he counters with, “He shot you!”; the way Tech looks between Wrecker, the kit, and Echo a couple times before speaking up and then looks right at Echo as he finishes saying that it could be Crosshair’s chip that’s making him act the way he is, as though he’s trying to convince Echo specifically; Echo’s disbelief and the awfulness of, “That’s what they were designed to do.” Hunter shutting the conversation down before the debate really gets underway, and turning away from everyone (and us), probably so they (and we) can’t see his face. The way that each of them expresses one aspect of what they’re probably all feeling: the loss (Wrecker); the betrayal (Echo); the need for an explanation or a justification (Tech); and the way it’s all too painful to deal with (Hunter).

Speaking of Hunter, the way he reacts by shutting the conversation down and shifting the focus to the task at hand is a pretty well done depiction of the way some people deal with loss. Finding something to do, something to fix, something to keep your mind and hands busy, having a problem to solve; that’s just how some people are. Hunter isn’t taking Crosshair’s absence well, even at this point, and it’s important to remember that he only really found out about the chips and clone programming a few days ago. He’s probably still trying to reconcile that with the emotional betrayal of seeing Crosshair walk out into that hangar wearing black armor and ordering him to stand down.

Also, listen for a little four note motif in the music that plays under this scene. Then go listen to “Mayday.” I could be hearing wrong, but I could also be hearing right, and if I have to suffer, so do you.

14. Speaking of Crosshair, I really want to know why he needed another chip amplification procedure done. I mean, yes, it’s not definite that that’s what’s just happened to him when we cut to Kamino, but all the visual cues are there. My personal suspicion is that the first round took, as we saw at the end of “Aftermath,” but that it didn’t last the way it was supposed to after the batch left. My other personal suspicion is that this repeat procedure was potentially augmented, or more targeted, and that it wasn’t the only other time it happened to him. As much as a segment of the fandom was (and is) worried that Crosshair was or is going to be turned into another Clone X or proto-death trooper, I sort of think it works the other way around. Crosshair was already a test subject, we saw it happen in “Aftermath” and in this episode, and he might have already been patient zero for the early versions of what was later done to the poor guy who ended up as Clone X and the people who are going to end up death troopers, and his chip either being damaged or having to be removed after “Reunion” might be what saved him from being experimented on further, for a while, anyway. I don’t think being brainwashed again is in Crosshair’s future, just because that seems like the one way to screw up his character arc, but we’ll see.

15. God, the way Tarkin, Rampart, and the rest back up the literal chip-powered mind control poor Crosshair’s under with some good old fashioned regular brainwashing by making him a commander (in name only, apparently) of an elite squad of new recruits and talking about how important these new clone lead units are going to be for the transition into imperial power is just cruel. Crosshair’s brain is all kinds of messed up and they’re doing their best to make sure it stays that way. And Crosshair is so inexpressive through the episodes where his chip is at full strength compared to how he is in the rest of the show. He’s still in there, and it’s still him, but he’s being filtered through GoodSoldiersFollowOrders.exe and I just. What if I crawled into my screen and kicked Tarkin in the shins? What if I did that? (I would get shot, that’s what. But still.)

16. The Echo-Tech banter as they’re trying to fix the ship is fun, as is the Empire Strikes Back homage. Also, I love how Tech kind of downplays the situation by just saying that other systems are shutting down, and that Echo IMMEDIATELY jumps in and explains that SOMETHING IS ATTACKING THE SHIP.

17. So, we get Tech explaining that the creature is probably an ordo moon dragon, a creature that feeds on energy (we’ll get to that), and Echo saying that it would have been great if Tech had said that earlier. This isn’t the first of the last time someone will say something like this, and this next bit is kind of a silly thought based on almost nothing, but I sometimes wonder if Tech occasionally thinks he’s said something out loud or explained something when he hasn’t.

18. I don’t know what to do about the fact that the ordo moon dragon feeds on raw energy but lives on an apparently unsettled planet with no power generators or ships or whatevers, but it’s also not the only creature we meet that does this. The zillo beast also slurps down electricity like a breakfast smoothie. That kind of implies that there are natural sources of electricity around and that a number of creatures evolved to take advantage of is. But also it has teeth. Maybe it’s like the Zillo beast and can also eat other things. Maybe it grabs electric space eels, chews on electric charge for a while, and then eats the eel. Or something. I don’t know, it’s Star Wars, there are star whales that fly and jump through hyperspace, it doesn’t really have to make sense.

19. Omega says, “Then we’ll find a way to get him back—somehow,” and then Hunter looks back at her and smiles. And it kills me. And maybe it’s because we can only see half his face, but it’s the most unguarded smile I think we’ve seen from Hunter the entire show. He doesn’t think they can go back yet, but I think he still thinks it’s going to be possible someday, maybe even soon, and that when they do it’ll all work out and be fine and oh my sweet summer child…

20. That transition from Crosshair jumping down to Hunter and Omega walking though the mist is such a cool transition. You can’t even tell you’re in a new location until you see Hunter’s and Omega’s legs.

21. Crosshair opens fire on Saw’s camp, of course, but he misses. A lot. I think there’s one point where he fires four shots but only lands one. It’s not the batch, but he’s still pulling his shots here, as much as he can.

22. Along those lines, I do think it’s interesting that Crosshair doesn’t kill the civilians himself. They’re going to die, he can’t stop that, because those are the orders and he doesn’t have the capacity to say no to it at this point, but he passes the order along to his men. He doesn’t do it himself, and he doesn’t watch. Which is interesting.

23. Speaking of Crosshair’s men, you know what? Cowards. All except that one guy who had the backbone to say that murdering civilians is wrong. He’s a jackass about clones, but at least he’s not down for murder.

24. So the way Crosshair says, “dealt with,” when he reports to Tarkin and Rampart is brutal and it’s going to live rent free in my head.

25. *screams about the whole ending sequence with Wrecker and the room and the lights and Omega but also it’s the gunners chair and Crosshair sitting on his bunk and Echo patting Wrecker on the shoulder because he did a good thing and how the warmth of the one scene and the emptiness of the other enhance each other this show is going to kill me again*

#the bad batch

[lxversharkss]

( JUST FOR YOU )

warnings : none

a/n : like and request what else you want to see !

requested : no

summary : aj hates touching but what happens when you , his girlfriend’s , love language is physical touch.

aj has said many times on his channel and the beta squad that he hates hugs. whenever he hugs someone he feels uncomfortable, hating the way it feels.

you , his girlfriend of a year , loved hugs. needing at least one a day. you’d want someone to snuggle with a night and to hug you.

of course, you respected aj’s wishes that he doesn’t like them but it was still annoying. there’s be a rare occasion when he’d be clingy and you lived when he was. or you’d be sad and he’d reluctantly cuddle you to make you feel better.

sophie, niko’s girlfriend, was your best friend. you’d met through niko and instantly hit it of.

all the beta squad had left to america. since aj and niko lived together, you and sophie practically lived there to.

when hanging out with sophie, you had realised forgotten your curling iron at aj’s house. sighing, you decided to use the key he gave you to his place.

both you and sophie drove over, and as you entered the flat , aj had rung you.

“hi, y/n/n” he spoke on the other end. “what you doing?”

you glanced at sophie, “i’m actually at yours right now. forgot my curling iron, me and sophs jsut came to grab it.”

“stay there!” aj insisted.

“why?”

aj was interrupted by chunkz, who wa slaughing manically. “can you shut up! anyways, me and the boys are coming back.”

“i thought you weren’t coming back until sunday?” you asked, a smile playing at your lips. “sophs, niko and aj’s are coming back now.”

she cheered, making you laugh. aj smiled, “i’ll see you soon, alright.” you nodded. “bye, baby.”

“bye , aj.”

then you hung up. sophie smiled, taking a seat on the sofa, with a sigh. “i missed niko.”

“i know you wouldn’t shut up about it.” you laughed, making her laugh as well. “i need to hug someone.”

sophie sighed, “come here, babes.” she held her arms out, you smiled and laid down on top of her.

the two of you continued talking, sophie had missed cuddling niko and you barely got hugs from aj so you both sat there , wrapped in each others arms.

the sound of the door opening, didn’t push you off each other. chunkz loud voice rang through the flat, “where are you babies then?”

“shush” aj rolled his eyes. “y/n/n!”

“hey , baby.” you smiled, your head rest on sophie’s chest.

niko laughed, “what are you two doing?”

“your girlfriends are lesbians” chunkz stated , seeing your glare he laughed and held his hands up in defence. “i support , don’t worry.”

“i had no one to hug.” sophie shrugged. “and don’t get hugs.”

aj sighed, “well let me join!”

without warning, he had jumped on top of you, who looked surprised. “you want to hug?”

“don’t make a big deal outta it.” he glared playfully, but softened when you wrapped your arms around him. “it’s just for you.”

he was pulled onto your body. sophie groaned, “don’t do that on top of me.”

“sorry, babes.” you smiled, getting up and pulling aj with you. “you are an amazing hugger.”

“thank you.” sophie grinned. “let me know when you want to do it again.”

aj just huffed, pulling you into his room to cuddle.

#ajshabeel #the beta squad #niko omilana #sophie #niko and sophie #reader #love langauges #physical touch

[whyismangososour]

okay so after re-watching across the spiderverse for the third time (yes I have a problem shut up) I basically BOOKED it to the theater that was playing the miraculous movie and although I can barely understand a word of french the animation was expressive enough for me to still have some thoughts though I’m sure they are limited without proper access to the dialogue (so keep that in mind if you care about spoilers lol) anyway I need a place to put all this so here we go (in no particular order):

- I completely forgot this was a musical until the first song played and so did everyone else in the theater based off their groans of indignation

- basically every time they started singing the whole theater groaned very loudly and it almost got annoying but that could be cause I can’t judge the songs properly yet as I literally don’t understand them

- they also groaned and laughed a lot whenever adrien was getting emotional which????? made me annoyed because he’s one of the few boys in popular media who is shown to be soft and emotional as a strength and honestly the movie just turned it around and played it for jokes and it lowkey pissed me off

- they played careless whisper twice during scenes where adrien is simping too hard and a lot of people found it funny but I thought it was weird and uncomfortable but maybe that’s just me

- oh and about the songs whoever the singer is for Marinette does NOT sound like the regular speaking voice actor and it sticks out like a sore thumb

- again this could be because I’m missing out on the dialogue but I fear some people on tumblr were right when predicting this interpretation of Marinette :/ her only personality traits are being clumsy, being anxious, being bullied, being friendless, basically being like Bella Swan which no disrespect to Twilight fans but I MISSED my Marinette :( the thing I love most about her is how absolutely batshit insane she is and how good of a leader she is and how even the things this movie portrays are almost coded like ADHD and an actual anxiety disorder in the show not just an “uwu sad I’m not like other girls” trait

- also while I’m complaining I’m so sad they didn’t delve more into some of the side characters from the show like I would’ve loved for the movie to focus on the OG team of Carapace, Rena Rouge, Queen Bee with the main two or even just if it has a side plot with Luka or something it would’ve been nice but I also kinda get it because a movie has significant less time than a show to go into stuff like that

- also Alya and Nino’s relationship was so botched too because Nino is like a blubbering mess around her which??? the whole point of their relationship is how Nino realizes he likes and then loves Alya because he DOESN’T stutter around her like he did when he had a crush on Marinette and it’s supposed to provide this parallel to Marinette to show how being in a relationship can be steady and calm but whatever I guess we don’t care about any of the side characters now

- anyway Tikki raps at one point and for that alone I think Jeremy Zag should be arrested

- GABRIEL HAD LONG HAIR WHEN HE WAS YOUNG AND HE LOOKS SO STUPIDLGJF

- someone on Letterboxd called Adrien a wattpad bad boy again idk if that’s true cause I didn’t understand the dialogue but pls keep it in mind as you watch it

- a lot of people are praising the animation and on the one hand I think it’s earned because oh my god the action scenes are BEAUTIFUL but on the other hand the characters sometimes have this weird flat, lifeless vibe to them like a character from an illumination movie and idk it was weird

- granted the flat lifeless vibe could’ve been from the weird editing there was such a lack of establishing shots for so many scenes it made me disoriented about where a character was or what they were doing

- also the director refuses in every scene with Marinette and Alya talking to frame them in any interesting environments or angles ever it’s always the same flat and boring shot where they face the front like a sit com character

- anyway the third act was the best because it’s basically all actions scenes and it looks fucking fantastic 😌

- THE AKUMAS WERE SO GREAT I LOVED SEEING THEM EVERUTIME THEY WERE ON SCREEN AHHHHHFH

- even Gabriel looked less ugly in his Hawkmoth mask believe it or not

- I think there’s a chance ladynoir stans might have a good time with this cause there’s a lot of scenes with that dynamic even if it is offset by musical numbers

- sometimes the animation for musical numbers was very very or pretty and sometimes it felt pretty corny which

- made me think that this could’ve been a better 2D animated film since they’re clearly trying to pull a Disney 2.0 Electric Boogaloo with this film (but I might be biased since I had just watched across the spiderverse for the third time like 3 minutes before watching this)

- but they never delved into any of the world building like ever :/ like they never really show anything about how the powers work so nothing is ever established and they don’t even show all the powers!!!! Marinette doesn’t even use her lucky charms once!!!!! wtf dude

- when Marinette meets Adrien for the first two seconds it’s cute but quickly I got annoyed because they didn’t have her start off disliking him because she thinks he’s like Chloe like they did in the show and I feel like that’s such an important part of their relationship that they just completely ignored

- sorry adrienette stans most of their scenes are just lumped together in a montage lmao

- rip stans for other sides of the lovesquare they don’t get any screen time I’m sorry y’all

-although the end scene being presumedly a school dance is dumb and cliche and way too American for a French movie I did love Marinette’s dress I think it’s very beautiful (though buggachat’s ballgown in beau is still my favorite)

- I swear to god I think the animators made a reference to the joker dancing on stairs scene in one of gabriel’s musical numbers but I could’ve imagined it it was so quick

- also the ending felt very weird maybe I’m too used to fandom interpretations where Gabriel and Adrien being revealed to each other is super angsty lmao but it really did feel too happy of an ending like I genuinely don’t know if this is realistic for the characters

- or maybe it is but it’s just realistic for worse versions of the characters !!! because although this could be cause I missed all the dialogue but I swear gabriel doesn’t come off as abusive as he is in the show he just kinda gives off the vibe of a regular bad father which is super lame because that’s another part of the show that I think is super interesting

- also I swear to god I think the themes of emotional maturity and processing your emotions in general are just??? not there???? I’ll have to update y’all after I watch it in English but I swear???????????

- this really does just feel like a miraculous version of the mario movie it’s like all the life of the original is sucked out of it and is replaced by hollow references and an implication that the audience already understands everything because they watched the show so the filmmakers don’t have to explain anything which??? bad film makers bad *sprays with a water bottle*

- and listen I get that it’s an adaptation and it’s not possible for it to include EVERYTHING from the show but I was at least hoping for the same heart and/or a different take on the concept but that’s not what this felt like it felt too cheap and corporate and american (derogatory) to even really try

anyway those are just my thoughts and opinions and I am very open to all of them changing once I watch this in a language I actually fully understand but until then WATCH ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE (unless you have light sensitivity issues then pls don't cause I don't want you to die ily) ok I’m gonna go shower now bye

#miraculous #Miraculous Ladybug #miraculous awakening #miraculous movie #miraculous awakening spoilers

[curlytheintrovert]

My Favorite Papa Joel Moments (Pt.8): The Finale!

🦠 It’s the sweetest, most tragic thing that while Ellie is so closed off, Joel is so open. He’s trying so unbelievably hard to get her out of her PTSD head space…and it’s kills me how little it helps. Joel has finally accepted his role as her dad, he’s raw and heartfelt, his voice and mannerisms are even softer, but Ellie is just gone. (And Joel openly talking about Sarah?! It’s such a testament to how he’s opened himself for Ellie) It’s not until the giraffe scene that we see Ellie come out from the darkness, which shows how heart shattering it is that Joel’s sweet attempts has been so ineffective. And even when Joel’s happily looks at her laughing, he pauses and looks heartbroken, like he knows. It’s clearly what compels him to try and convince her they don’t have to go through with the plan for a cure. He doesn’t want her to break anymore than she already has, showing how he has always prioritized Ellie’s emotional well-being.

🦠 For how emotional and devastating this series has been, Joel’s confession was the one moment that really made me tear up. Joel admitting to trying to commit suicide explains EVERYTHING about his character. It gave a full, complete picture of him in a way that’s breath taking. Sarah, and in turn fatherhood, truly was his purpose—when he lost both of them something fractured. And it fractured so hard he wanted to die. He loves hard and it explains so fucking beautifully why he tried so hard to push Ellie away at first. It explains why he’s capable of ruthless murder. It explains why he’s so closed off. And it explains why loving and protecting Ellie felt like his downfall. Joel already lived through his downfall once, and he lived in the miserable aftermath for years and years. But when he says “It wasn’t time that did it” and his eyes just shine with love, it reinforced to me why a suicide attempt makes so much sense on his part: He’s hopelessly devoted to and in love with his children.

🦠 Joel’s binge killing through the hospital…there are no words. When I rewatched it a second time it brought me to tears. In my previous pt. 7 post I addressed how bone chilling Pedro’s performance at Lakeside is when he’s silent and flat eyed. And that exact same look occupies his face throughout the entire scene. It’s terrifying. I don’t even know if I see this man blink. The way it’s shot is cinematically perfect: the tragic music, how you don’t fully see rebels faces and sound is muffled. We are in Joel’s head space, we live in it more than we ever have. But the music really makes you understand how horrific it is…your heart breaks for the rebels but also for Joel too. He loves his daughter so much that he doesn’t see people, he doesn’t feel anything, it’s just Ellie. That’s all there is for him. Honestly my favorite shot of the entire show is the bullet casings falling around his eerily steady, calm footsteps. Like his humanity is crumbling one bullet, one life, at a time…Yet the best parallel is the distinct way Joel carries Ellie, and by extension Saran, bridal style through a similarly horrific situation, but this time he redeemed himself no matter the cost.😭 He saved his girl!

🦠 Now for the ethical question everyone will be discussing: Did Joel do the right thing? My favorite thing in the tlou podcast is when Neil talked about the test players for the game and their thoughts on the ending. It was a 50/50 chance for those without kids and 100% of those with kids agreed with Joel’s choice. I personally am a parent and am completely in agreement! As a parent there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for your child and it’s painted so beautifully in this episode. Joel killing and lying to keep her alive would have seemed like nothing compared to losing her, and I uncomfortably have to agree. No parent should be excepted to just accept their child’s death (and especially if you knew you had the capability to stop it!) I’m so sad but so interested to see where our favorite tragic father-daughter duo will go from here…season 2 is gonna be a doozy!

#curlystloumetas #joel tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel the last of us #ellie and joel #tloudaily #tlou show #thelastofus #tlounetwork #ellie tlou #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #sobbing #i’m devastated #ellie the last of us #tlou #sad it’s over #best show of all time #season finale #papajoel #ellie miller #ellie & joel #joel williams #i love them so much #joel and ellie

[valleyfthdolls]

I am literally about to copy paste an entire post into your inbox again, cuz I am so normal about this silly game, an' this dumbass puppet-

- His name is italian for puppet, but he pronounces it incorrectly and insists it’s the correct way to say his name if anyone else points it out and says he’s wrong.

- He’s not from Italy, obviously. Goes to show. But Ash imagines he knows a bit of italian. (“Not enough Italian to say his name right.” - Katie.)

- Fantoccio has a pet shark named Sharkspeare! Mentioned in the song at the line “‘Cause Sharkspeare’s looking mean!”

- Fantoccio has to make all his own props, set pieces, clothes, etc in the theatre.

- Would never smoke, and would hate being around it/people who’re doing it actively.

- Fantoccio was made by Ash as a fan OC for the game, and this (as far as I’m aware) is what got them hired onto the game, cause Katie loved their ideas so much.

- Fantoccio is not very good with kids.

- Fantoccio’s favorite food is churros. This came from the fact Ash once had a dream about him infodumping about them cause he loved them so much, so they made it canon.

- Don’t worry, he can indeed taste things normally. No traditional taste buds, but some, nonetheless. Same goes for touch!

- Fantoccio is canonically autistic, having many traits of himself heavily projected from Ash, themself.

- When asked what his meltdown triggers could be, Ash thought that some might be: too much touching, being without his hat, or one of his props breaking.

- Fantoccio likes wearing dresses! Wears them if he feels like it or if the role calls for it, during a play.

- Ash thinks he’d ADORE snow.

- Fantoccio would 100% love spicy italian from subway.

- Fantoccio plays violin!

- Fantoccio would chant “I’m sleeping” when struggling to fall asleep, like his own version of counting sheep.

- He would NEVER say the Earth is flat.

- He’d be the “How do you do that” of that one keysmash meme, if paired with Barnaby.

- Ash once said that Fantoccio is like Duck from Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared.

- When doing a personality type test (and actually answering truthfully instead of in character) for Fantoccio, he ended up with ENTJ-T, Commander. Fanto would answer untruthfully on some questions, like if he ever gets insecure (“PFFFT NO THE ANSWERS NO”).

- He can go uwu in the bbu lore, but he’ll hate it. (“THIS IS STUPID!!!”)

- Fantoccio would apparently be a “mac and cheese FIEND.”

- He’d hate pranks (specifically a hand zapper in this case), because they’re unexpected. (“NEVER DO THAT AGAIN”)

- This also means he’d never troll anyone, cause he feels above that.

- Fanto would HATE hearing people crack their knuckles, like Ash does.

- Fantoccio loves to carve wood. Specifically only by hand, that’s how much he loves it! He carved the two giant wooden hands used in his battle, but his favorite thing to carve is ducks.

- Fantoccio is very intent on ONLY eating the few foods he knows he likes.

- If he were an ice cream, he’d be coffee flavor! Which is ironic, because Ash has also said that it’d probably be terrible to give Fantoccio caffeine.

- Fantoccio would LOVE chicken nuggets.

- Hates pizza, though. Too greasy and messy.

- Would enjoy having an ipad “a little too much. He would be super confused at first but once he learns how to use it DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY”. (kinda like Peridot from Steven Universe)

- He would like spruce wood in Minecraft, but also acacia “just to look at.”

- Ash adores pirates, so so does Fantoccio!

- He has no nose, so no sneezes!

- Appreciates detail as much as Barnaby does.

- Fanto would love birds!

- Fanto is not capable of curse words. Sad.

- Fantoccio would COLLAPSE trying to lift someone without his powers.

- He stims by patting his face and spinning around. Fidgets with his hands in concepts for his standing idle animations, because he’s uncomfortable with standing and prefers floating.

- He’d favor Murder Mystery!

- His wood is alive and can grow like a real boy! (if you’ve seen my post being reblogged around, lol)

- He lives in the lost city of magic, which is abandoned and overrun my magical zombies who used to be magic users, now with a terrible curse. So he lives mainly in his theatre. He’s not trapped, anymore, like his old story!

- Fantoccio’s powers are based around telekinesis and teleportation. It’s how he moves his body around!

- He used to have a plush toy rabbit he carried around, when he was younger, seemingly. It’s unclear where that went, when he got older.

- Fantoccio’s been locked up in this city for 15 years, since he was 8. Completely isolated (save for those zombies, I suppose)! When Billie comes along, though, he’s so excited to have something new to play with!

- Fanto’s song is inspired by Weird Al. Like 90% of this game is, of course /lh. He was also inspired by the pied piper!

- He’d dislike the idea of seafood. (“He’d be like “Why would anyone want to eat a fish?!” And cover Sharkspeare’s nonexistent ears like “Don’t listen to them!””)

- The red feather in his hat is also used as a pen!

- Fantoccio is a being of pure magic, having an entire magic gem be his whole life source. This means he can use magic endlessly without getting tired (I believe)!

- Fantoccio is 23, he/him, and pansexual.

- His face is made using magic. It disappears when/if he’s magic-less.

- Fantoccio can absolutely feel pain.

- When it comes to nature, Ash said he’d kinda be like Rarity from MLP:FiM, but certain kinds of nature he’d still really love. He’d really dislike walking through the wild or camping in general, but loves things like snow or flower fields. Just depends!

- Fantoccio would main Bowser in Mario Kart.

-In terms of favorite Halloween treats, Fantoccio would like anything chewy and fruity (no chocolate)!

- Canonically wears eyeliner.

- Magic sparks from his fingertips when he’s very excited!

- If Fantoccio was an animal, Ash says he’d be a cat.

- No traditional gross human stuff inside him like others, just wood and sap. “Whatever trees do.”

- His original concept by Ash was him having a purple phantom head, being a ghost in a puppet’s body. This was changed by Katie, I believe.

Anyways I'm so normal about him-

OHHHHHH THIS IS SO COOOL FANTOCCIO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

#TY FOR SHARING :] #modgirly #bbu #long post