#I just feel very helpless I think and also tired but I can’t sleep and it’s 4 AM love that for me

[starfinss]

ᴡᴇ ᴡʀᴇꜱᴛʟᴇ ᴅᴜꜱᴋ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴅᴀᴡɴ

Haha nobody requested this but I can’t sleep so here we are.

—𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘠𝘶𝘶𝘫𝘪, 𝘔𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪, 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪, 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰, 𝘛𝘰𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘶𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘢.

— 𝘐𝘵𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘪 𝘠𝘶𝘶𝘫𝘪 — ꜰᴜʟʟ ꜰɪᴄ ʜᴇʀᴇ

— Will absolutely not complain but also will not sit still. 

— He’ll be grabbing your thighs, your breasts, your waist, guiding you along as he moves his hips with yours. 

— Yuuji is a very giving lover, even when he’s not the one on top.

— Plus, the view is nothing to complain about. 

— The boy is obsessed with your body. He loves the way you move, no matter the scenario, and to see you on top of him like that is heaven. 

— Expect him to toss in little compliments about just how stunning you are, awestruck and punch drunk in love. 

— How did he ever get so lucky? 

— Whispering sweet nothings in your ear, basically just praising how amazing you make him feel. 

— He’s not quiet about it, either. Low groans and growls, moans against your skin.

— Hell, when is this man ever quiet? It’s just not part of who he is. 

— He’s also not small. Like, he is thick, and I love that the rest of the fandom unanimously agrees that Yuuji has a big dick. 

— You’ll quickly be getting cock drunk, and Yuuji won’t be complaining. 

— Yuuji has superhuman stamina, so you’re probably going to end up pinned underneath him after your legs start getting tired, but nobody ever said that was a bad thing. 

— His refractory period barely exists at all, and all he needs is a few minutes before he’s ready to keep going, if even that long. 

— He’ll beg you for another round, and you’ll be helpless to give him what he wants. 

— 𝘍𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘰𝘶 𝘔𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪

— You might expect Megumi to be shy, but he isn’t. 

— He’s pretty reserved, so if he’s being vulnerable enough to let you be with him like that, you know he trusts you. 

— I think he’s a very passionate person, and he likes showing you that. 

— Also, he’s kind of a tease.

— You know how snarky Megumi is, just wait until you’re intimate. 

— He’ll be whispering dirty things into your ear, hands on your waist as he guides you up and down the length of his cock.

— Megumi prefers being the one in control, because it means he can fuck you until you’re a babbling mess, and he loves knowing that he was the cause of that.

— However, if you ask if you can be on top, it’s not like he’s going to say no. 

— He’s happy to relinquish control, as long as he still gets some power. 

— Just because you’re on top doesn’t mean he’s going to let you do everything. 

— He often starts gentle, but then grows rougher and quicker as he goes on. 

— Megumi is a very patient young man normally, but he just can’t help himself when he’s inside of you. 

— Enjoys edging himself, all while getting you off over and over, and tends to thrust deep when he finally reaches his climax. 

— 𝘎𝘰𝘫𝘰 𝘚𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘶 — ꜰᴜʟʟ ꜰɪᴄ ʜᴇʀᴇ

— Gojo doesn’t care what position he’s in, as long as you’re both feeling good.

— He actually might be the one to suggest you being on top.

— Likely to pull you into his office for something like this, not even bothering to keep quiet as you bounce on his cock. 

— He delights in your flushed cheeks, finding the faces you make to be as adorable as they are sexy. 

— Like Yuuji, he doesn’t sit still. He loves grabbing at your hips as you ride him, his thumb finding your cit. The way you tighten around him when he does that is incredible. 

— He talks a lot. If you thought you couldn’t get him to shut up normally, get ready for when you’re having sex. 

— He is the king of dirty talk, and he knows just what to say to get you weak in the knees. 

— He might let you take the lead for a little while, but then he’ll get impatient and need to grab onto you, but that’s kind of the opposite of a problem. 

— If you’re going too slow, he’ll remedy that, whispering into your ear how he just couldn’t help himself. 

— He’s a man addicted, and you’re his substance of choice. 

— Soft teasing and praise will be whispered against your skin, fueled by your whimpers and whines. 

— Gojo’s stamina is substantial, so you’re going to end up pretty sore.

— 𝘙𝘺𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘚𝘶𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘢

— I hope you had no plans of walking any time soon. 

— If you thought Sukuna would let anyone take the lead for more than a handful of seconds, you thought wrong. 

— His arm is around your waist as he works you up and down his cock, at a bruising, punishing pace. 

— He plans to make you cum over and over until you lose count, the look of tortured pleasure on your face only making him go faster. 

— Sometimes, just to tease you, he’ll let you go on your own, sitting back as he watches you fuck yourself stupid on his cock, only taking over once again when you beg for it. 

— You in his lap, riding him like that, it makes him feel like a king.

— He’s got a sadistic streak a mile long, and will fuck you senseless, until you’re so overstimulated that tears are streaming down your cheeks.

— Once he’s started, it’s nearly impossible to get him to stop. 

— Sukuna is big on manhandling, so come morning (or whenever he decides he’s done) you’ll be covered in bruises and bite marks and love bites. He likes showing everyone that you belong to him and him only. 

— It doesn’t help that he likes to bite into your shoulder, especially when you’re on top. 

— You’re only human, though, so he doesn’t want to actually break you. Just to come close.

— So when you reach the very outer reaches of the limits of it all, he’ll gradually come to a stop, but shh, don’t tell anyone he has that soft spot for you. 

— 𝘕𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘪 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘰

— Nanami lets you do as you please. 

— At least, for a little while. 

— He enjoys seeing you lose yourself, face twisted in pleasure as he gets a perfect, unobstructed view of his cock disappearing inside of you over and over again. 

— Once he gets really worked up, he starts moving with you, gently guiding you up and down his cock, but never strong enough to force you to move. 

— If you ask him to manhandle you, though, he won’t complain. 

— He’s not very loud, often defaulting to soft groans, but he gives the occasional louder one if you tighten around him or swivel your hips just right. 

— He’s not the type of man to beat around the bush, so if you do something he likes, he will immediately voice his approval, either with words or with an approving sound. 

— He doesn’t speak much, finding it rather difficult to do so in the throes of passion, but you’ll get the occasional curse or whispered praise, overlapping with your name. 

— Nanami likes you to feel good, too, so he does what he can to make sure that happens, either by using his mouth on your breasts or neck, or rubbing your clit with his thumb. 

— He gets more vocal as he gets closer, moaning lowly against your skin, speaking in a hushed, heated whisper as he praises you over and over, telling you just how good you make him feel. 

— He loves when your hands tangle in his hair, or your thighs squeeze around his hips. It drives him crazy. Any sign that you’re feeling good does. 

— 𝘐𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪 𝘛𝘰𝘨𝘦 ꜰᴜʟʟ ꜰɪᴄ ʜᴇʀᴇ

— Loud. So, so loud. 

— Toge can’t speak normally, so this is one of the only times he can be vocal, even if it isn’t with many words.

— Oh, don’t get me wrong, he’ll speak. 

— You both love the effects his cursed speech have on you. 

— The first time he used it, purely on accident, was when a single word slipped out, and you came so hard you cried. 

— “Faster.” “Harder.” “Fuck me.” “More.” “Cum, now.”

— Those are the words he speaks to you, and they leave you helpless as you fuck yourself dumb on his cock, lust drunk and babbling his name.

— Physical touch is Toge’s love language since he’s not able to speak much, so when you’re having sex, he makes damn sure that you know how much he loves you. 

— His hands will roam your body, his mouth meeting yours or closing around your nipples, because he knows you love his tongue, and how you can feel the cursed writing stinging and almost vibrating against your skin.

— He loves overstimulating you, as well as himself, and he also knows you love hearing his voice, so when you’re on top, or in any position, really, he loves letting you hear him. 

— Here’s to hoping the walls are thick, because the whole building will be hearing him, and, from the way he’s touching you, they’ll be hearing you as well. 

— Toge isn’t picky when it comes to positions, and he loves being ridden as much as he loves missionary or any other position, just as long as he’s inside of you, and both of you feel good.

Any guesses how long this took me? It took me so long, I kept putting it off. AND NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS.

Also, if anyone wants one shots based on any of these headcanons, send an ask letting me know and I’ll write it.

#Jujutsu Kaisen #Smut #n.sfw #fanfiction #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji #itadori yuji x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro megumi x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #this is spicy #This was fun #I should be asleep #whoops I’ve fallen down a jjk rabbit hole again #nobody save me I’m fine with this #Headcanons #Headcanon #jjk headcanons #I’m going to hell #jjk inumaki #inumaki toge #toge inumaki #inumaki x reader

[ryuichirou]

This is such a random question, but i wanted to hear your guys' thoughts anyway.

So you've already made quite a few headcanons/opinions on the guys' kinks and such. Now i was wondering who in the Twst cast would/wouldn't be good at Aftercare...?

I think it's actually simple to answer this because i feel like everyone sucks at aftercare some more than the others, especially since they're all teenagers, but still, what do you think?!

I really like how you acknowledged that everyone pretty much sucks at aftercare LOL This is exactly what I was going to say!! These boys aren’t very experienced, plus are kind of assholes for the most part. But I’ll still go through the list of characters, because it’s actually a very fun question.

Although I won’t write about the characters who we read as bottoms, I did mention them when writing about those guys we ship them with, so I hope that works.

Thank you for asking and wanting to hear our thoughts <3

Ace – he’s…. bad. He really can’t be bothered, especially at first, but he might start being a little bit more attentive overtime. Like, after dating Deuce for a couple of months, he might bring him something to drink after sex and hand him over a box of tissues, but in general he isn’t very helpful. But he sure talks a lot, if it helps… in all honesty it probably makes everything worse lol

Cater – he would actually be okay! He is surprisingly knowledgeable when it comes to these things. But he’s also a bit annoying because he’s trying to act all cute, like “leave it to Kei-kun~”, as if the true genuine Cater was gone the moment he and his boyfriend were finished with the sex part.

Trey – he is the best thing NRC has to offer… He is very attentive, very gentle, but also very apologetic and a bit awkward because he knows that he definitely overdid it. When he does the aftercare, he has a lot if silent “yikes” moments when he realises that the bruising, the marks and the redness of Riddle’s butt (after being smacked by Trey’s hips repeatedly for 20 minutes) are much worse than he imagined. What you don’t expect from Trey is that he is one of the boys who might get aroused during the aftercare because of how cute and helpless Riddle’s body looks covered in his marks.

Ruggie – he is also surprisingly good at it, but he also has this aura around him, as if he expects something in return. Since he mostly does it with Leona nowadays, he considers it to be an investment, so he makes sure that he proves the aftercare of the highest quality possible lol He even taught himself how to give good massages to relax tense muscles and stuff…

Jack – he is a little bit confused, but he got the spirit. He is usually even more shocked and disappointed in himself than Trey, and he’s also more earnest/genuine about it, so he’ll do his best to take responsibility. It’ll take him some time, but he’ll end up being surprisingly decent at aftercare after a couple of times.

Azul – honestly, it depends. He gets really tired and sluggish after sex, so his go-to would be to either cuddle a bit and go to sleep or to have a 5 minutes powernap before jumping out of bed, dressing himself and going to work. But that’s the most “earnest” vulnerable option; in actuality, Azul rarely doesn’t have a plan about what’s going to happen during the aftercare. So what’s more likely to happen is that Azul is going to do his “fufufu” laugh and go “do you need any help?~” knowing damn well that neither Idia nor Jamil are going to ask him. But he’ll still help them, if he feels like it’d make them closer or be profitable in any other way… That being said, I can still picture Azul being a bit more genuinely caring after being in a relationship with someone (I guess Idia specifically) for quite some time.

He is also one of the characters that could simply heal his partner with magic, by the way. But he’ll learn how to do it properly just because it’s Azul and he just has to be perfect at everything.

Floyd – in general he’s bad, especially because he loses interest very quickly. And I feel like the majority of his potential lovers (especially Riddle or Idia) expect him to be bad, but in a weird twist of fate, he would have these moments when he is very into aftercare. Just because he thought it would be a fun thing to do at that particular moment + because he kind of wanted to admire the body that he was chewing on just a couple of minutes ago. But he is also not the most gentle at it and could actually harm his poor bottom even more sometimes. And then look like a caring heartthrob the next moment. And then lick his bottom’s bottom and bite his thigh just because it he felt like it or do something even more cursed lol

Jade – if he wanted to, he would be the best at it. At least physically, but the catch is that Jade’s perfect aftercare is always paired with some kind of emotional torture lol He applies the cream and bandages in a very gentle way, he always brings something nice to drink and makes sure that his bottom is comfortable. But at the same time, he would sound so condescending and sickly sweet at the same time, being super smug and mocking, like “oh I’m sorry, it probably hurts very badly, is there anything else I could bring you to make you feel better?” It’s as if… as if he’s trolling his bottom for being babied like that.

And sometimes he just apologizes with the widest smile and the fakest regretful eyes and says that he is way too busy to perform proper aftercare. And just leaves…

Kalim – nevermind, he is the one who is confused but got the spirit. For the majority of time, he isn’t allowed to do any aftercare for Jamil. The reasoning is usually Jamil’s favourite “you’re the son of the Asim family, you don’t have to do something like this for me”, but in reality Jamil just doesn’t trust Kalim lol So yeah, because of that Kalim is very inexperienced. Aftercare is more complicated that he expected it to be… But he is still eager to help! So he’ll try his best, even if it’s just bringing Jamil a towel, a bottle of water, tissues, etc. But with Kalim there is always a risk that he might somehow turn everything into disaster for poor Jamil.

Rook – on paper he is great, and he is also one of the most knowledgeable people in this school. He is very aware of his partner’s physical state, he knows very well what to do to make him feel better + he also has a lot of experience, since he’s been doing this on a regular basis for more than two years. But he is also the most talkative one, sometimes he even sings, and for some reason despite all his experience and knowledge, he just doesn’t seem to care that his lover kind of want s to rest lol And while Vil is usually very restless and wants to do everything by himself, a lot of times Rook just allows himself to do whatever he wants with his partner’s body: he shoves fingers everywhere, grabs his legs and positions him the way he wants, and while he isn’t necessarily rough, he is very assertive and dominant.

Rook could be an absolute angel and the most well-behaved boy one second, and then suddenly it turns out that the aftercare was just a prelude to another sex session, and he just didn’t warn his lover about it lol

Ortho – he has all the data in the world, but he lacks the experience when applying this knowledge to irl stuff. He is also quite stubborn, so when he gets an idea that there just has to be some aftercare, he won’t leave his partner alone until he’s done it. And while someone like Vil wouldn’t be opposed to that, Idia gets awfully embarrassed when Ortho starts insisting on doing that. I guess if niisan is embarrassed and nervous, the best way to go around it would to put headphones + a mask on his face so he doesn’t hear or see anything when Ortho is working on his body… This is an actual idea Ortho would have without realising that it sounds even kinkier :(

Lilia – he knows that aftercare is important, and he is so sure that he always does it, but in reality he is kind of shitty at it lol Let’s be honest, the only two people he would ever do the aftercare for are Malleus and Silver (in pre-Lilidia scenario); and Malleus heals differently from human beings, with him it was less of an aftercare and more of a “prince wants more attention” thing. And Lilia is so bad at treating Silver’s poor human body in a decent way that I’m pretty sure Silver does his own aftercare. Lilia is the type to spit on a stinging bite mark and smear the saliva with his finger. It’s alright, you won’t die. Poor Idia who’s going to be s confused and helpless and bitten everywhere…

Sebek – oh this boy is RESTLESS. He is all over the place, no matter who his partner is. The only difference is that with Malleus he’ll be super nervous and keep apologizing and screaming about how much of a honour it is for him to be allowed to treat Malleus’ wounds (as if it was a battle…) and that he’ll do whatever Malleus needs to make him comfortable. And with Silver, he’ll just keep telling him off for some reason, as if it was Silver who bit himself, scratched himself and honestly fucked himself so hard that it’s difficult for him to sit. And if Sebek’s partner is Idia, then well, he might just leave him as it is, because he isn’t really worthy of any more of his attention. Wow what a jerk.

#replies #headcanons

[evansbby]

Ok but what if.....

Omega gets sick. I mean we all are pretty clear on the bug issue that went round the campus - Omega is preggo. BUT what if she was just simply sick.

I'd love to see Steve try to be soft but still tough cause he ain't no jelly boy apart from when he's drunk (istg that drabble is my fav one after fairy's woes).

I feel like Omega would be literally snuggled or rather buried under a thick pile of fuzzy soft blankets with Steve Jr in her arms. (If he was alive that is) I imagine her to silently assure Steve that she won't need any soup for her illness while Steve squints at the recipe book.

He'd be so irritated and just want someone else to do it but also he just wants to make sure it's perfect for Omega. Meanwhile this might be the most interesting thing Steve Jr. witnesses. " You know how to care for mommy? Well, hallelujah! You ain't all ice, after all!"

What do you think? Would Steve actually make any voodoo secret medication or just hand it out to someone else?

~A <3

Ooh I think I’ve answered this before! And I said that poyt!Steve, when he finds out his omega is sick, he’d at first try and downplay it bc he still wants to have sex with her.

So omega would be like “but Steve, I’m sick.” While he’s kissing and undressing her and Steve would be like, “Shhh baby, don’t worry. All you have to do is lie on your back and let me do all the work. I’ll only put the tip in, I promise.” He’d lie bc he’s come home from practice and he’s super horny, “You can even go to sleep, I won’t mind. Just gotta feel you… I’ve had a hard day too, you know.”

But then Steve would feel how hot omega’s skin is and how she’s sweating and feverish and shivering, so he’d inwardly be like “Damn… for fucksakes.” Bc he wanted sex 😩😩😩

So he’d kinda just… let her be because he doesn’t know how to handle a sick person! He’d eat his own food and offer her some but she’d politely refuse bc her stomach can’t handle it. Then he’d play some games on his phone bc he doesn’t know what to do💀 until he hears soft sniffling and realises omega is crying bc she feels all uncomfy and sick and her head hurts!😭

So Steve would be like “there’s painkillers in the bedside table drawer.” And omega would try and get them but she’d be too weak. And Steve would realise that she needs to eat smth before she takes a painkiller so he makes her one of those ready made soups that you just have to heat up. Then he’d feed it to her bc he likes it when she’s all helpless. And this would also make Steve realise that he likes taking care of his omega bc she’s all dependant on him and needs him for everything😏

And omega’s like, “I’m sorry, Steve. I know this is a huge hassle. You should go to sleep, I know you’re tired.”

And Steve (who is secretly very much enjoying being a caregiver) is like, “Aww, my poor baby omega. Got yourself all sick, didn’t you? It’s a good thing daddy’s here to take care of you.” And he’d coo and baby her and get all horny bc it’s turning him on how weak she is

BUT ALSO he realises he really likes taking care of her: spoon feeding her and carrying her to the bathroom and even bathing her— he loves it all!! He won’t let her know, though… in front of Bucky and Sam, he’s all like: “it’s such a fucking hassle taking care of her.” But he actually looks forward to it, lmao. So when he comes home one day, all ready to feed her soup and cuddle with her, omega is up on her feet and all better and Steve’s just like “….oh.”

Then he proceeds to fuck her bc she “owes” him for lost time 😩😩😩

#BYE why is this so funny #anon #poyt ask #poyt drabble #a<3 anon

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien's Light and Shadow Date translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Translation under the cut~

In the darkness of the private theater, the huge screen was filled with sunlight on the street. I held a big bucket of popcorn and stifled a yawn.

Lucien: Are you sleepy?

A low voice sounded in my ears, I looked sideways, the light of the screen shone on Lucien's face, outlining his handsome appearance.

Recently, because of our busy work, we rarely have time to see each other, and I feel that he looks a little thinner.

Lucien: Looking at how tired you are, I should’ve refused your invitation “ruthlessly” and let you rest at home today.

I shook my head and leaned over his shoulder, lowering my voice and muttering.

MC: Fortunately, you are not ruthless enough. Otherwise, wouldn't it be too wasteful to use such a rare opportunity to sleep?

MC: We are finally out of work this weekend, I can't just sleep through it and doing nothing.

Lucien turned his head with a chuckle and continued to whisper in my ear.

Lucien: It turns out that the producer has already made plans for our weekend

Lucien: So, the movie we are watching is also the result of careful selection?

MC: Of course it is~

I winked proudly and turned my eyes to the screen.

After hearing that this romance film is very suitable for lovers to watch, I was eager to send an invitation to Lucien.

On the screen, the main characters are hanging out in the street, tasting the same ice cream.

(T/N: reminds me of Ordinary Date...)

Then suddenly, their eyes met, accompanied by a certain surge of feelings, they gradually approached each other…

The romantic atmosphere overflows out of the screen, making my heart flutter. I quietly raised my eyes to look at Lucien, and unexpectedly met his gaze.

The hand that held his arm tightened unconsciously, but our eyes did not move away from each other.

Our long, warm breaths intertwined, Lucien's fingertips brushed across my face and lingered on the back of my head.

It was as if there was an invisible thread in the air, pulling me closer to his breath-

“Bzzt- Bzzt-”

The sudden vibration in the darkness caused us to stop moving abruptly, and Lucien's lips curved up with a touch of helplessness as he lowered his head and nuzzled the tip of his nose with me.

Lucien: Just give me a minute.

He pulled out his cell phone, skimmed through a message, and his expression became serious.

MC: Is it a work-related matter?

Lucien: Yes, the new device developed by the Institute of Bioscience has found some problems

Lucien: There's a second internal test on Monday, so I'm afraid I'll have to go over there first and see...

Lucien: I' m sorry, but it looks like our date today will have to be postponed until next time.

Lucien squeezed my hand, and his eyes reflected a sincere apology and regret.

MC: Oh, well... It's okay. No problem, you go ahead!

Although I was a little disappointed, I let go of his hand. Lucien, however, leaned over and spontaneously lifted my bag as well

Lucien: Won't you join me, Miss Producer?

He tilted his head to look at me, and then he glanced at the brightly lit screen.

Lucien: I'm sorry, but I still want you to watch this movie with me.

Lucien: After all, it was specially chosen by you for the two of us.

MC: The movie is a small thing. But, can I really go with you? Don't you have work to do?

Lucien: Just some simple patching, I don't think it should take too long. Besides…

Lucien: My thought is the same as yours.

The corners of Lucien's lips curved up, and he spoke slowly.

Lucien: On a rare weekend, I would love to spend every second with you and not waste it.

Just as we walked into the Bioscience Institute, we bumped into Pete coming out of the lab, and when he saw me, he gave me a slight nod and handed a stack of documents to Lucien.

Pete: Professor, this is the test data we just collected.

Lucien nodded, and we walked together to the office.

I thought of something and quietly lowered my voice to Pete next to me while he was skimming through the experiment.

MC: Pete, has the professor not been able to eat well recently? I think he has lost a lot of weight .

Pete was stunned for a moment, looked at Lucien who was walking in front of us, and answered in a low voice .

Pete: Yes, our reminders are useless. After all the professor only listens to you...

Hmph, this man really didn't take care of himself again!

I glanced at the figure in front of me and muttered in a discontented voice.

Perhaps hearing the murmur of voices, Lucien suddenly stops and turns around.

Lucien: Pete, how is the progress of the new device?

Lucien: Apart from the problems you mentioned in your message, are there any other technical difficulties?

As he asked the question in a serious manner, he took a step closer to me, precisely blocking Pete. I had a vague understanding of what was going on, and I could not help but smile amusingly.

Pete: Currently, the device is not stable, and we are investigating to identify the interfering factors.

Lucien: Yes, I understand. You should compile a detailed data of the experiment and send it to me.

Pete nodded and was about to leave when Lucien stopped him again.

Lucien: By the way, several new researchers have recently arrived and are not yet familiar with the Institute.

Lucien: In the meantime, it's up to you to guide them through their work and help them adapt to the team.

Lucien: I hope to see the results soon. This shouldn't be a difficult task for you, right?

Lucien's eyebrows were slightly curved, but there was an invisible pressure. Pete's eyes trembled and he finally agreed with a miserable face.

Seeing him leave, Lucien let out an imperceptible sigh and took my hand.

Lucien: As for the producer, who has been intending to "ask a question" just now...

Lucien: Let's just talk in the office, shall we?

I had intended to "question" Lucien, but when I stepped into the office, I was drawn to a familiar device in the corner.

MC: Why do you have another projector here?

When I approached it and looked at it curiously, Lucien smiled and shook his head.

Lucien: This is not an ordinary projector.

Lucien: It is, in fact, the device we are developing to capture the human mind into a playable image.

Lucien: It automatically captures images of the human mind and records them on film. In this way, we can have a more visual view of what people are thinking.

MC: That's so cool!

I stared in amazement.

MC: I've only seen this kind of concept in science fiction movies before, but I never thought that technology has developed to such an extent nowadays.

Lucien: In fact, the technology is still not perfect.

Lucien's eyes sweep to the instruments with rigor and critical scrutiny.

Lucien: The device also has many bugs, for example, its trigger conditions are not clear.

Lucien: According to our current research, "capture" can only occur when the human brain is in its most relaxed state.

Lucien said as he walked to his desk, opened a locked drawer with a key, and took out a metal box.

Lucien: In addition, there is also the problems that Pete has just reported.

Lucien: However, I still need to verify the situation.

I watched him take a roll of film out of the metal box, and the slight folding marks on it showed that it appeared to have been used.

Lucien: These films record the "mind" of a subject.

MC: So that's it... Then I'll go to the next room to sit for a while, so I won't disturb Professor Lucien's work~

Just as I took a step towards the door , someone suddenly grabbed my wrist

Lucien: Don't you want to stay and watch it together?

MC: But . . . wouldn't this involve other people's privacy?

When he met my puzzled gaze, Lucien smiled.

Lucien: What if the “mind image” is mine?

============================================================

Inside the office, the curtains are closed, the lighting is dark, and Lucien's "mind" is being projected on the wall.

At first, the picture was filled with numbers and formulas that I couldn't understand, then it turned into some complicated lines and tables, and finally it turned into a thick, ink-like black.

MC: It seems that Professor Lucien is always thinking about intellectual problems even when he is relaxing!

I watched the image with great interest and squinted jokingly at Lucien beside me.

Suddenly, the screen lights up again, and an island full of fresh flowers and green grass appears.

And in the center of the island, under the tall, flourishing trees, the afternoon sun shines down through the mint-colored green leaves on two figures nestled against each other.

All around them, there are many flying butterflies and unknown flowers, and I can even hear the chirping of birds.

I was captivated by the unexpected images. As all the colored light and shadows fell into my eyes, Lucien slowly opened his mouth.

Lucien: There was one time when I was working late in the lab, but there was still no progress in my research, so I took a break.

Lucien's voice sounded beside me, and the sweet scent of white tea lightly brushed past my ears as he breathed.

He looked at the image that had appeared in his mind, as if recalling the situation.

Lucien: Back then I had been beating around the bush for a week on the same problem.

Lucien: I had put off many lectures, meetings… and very important appointments in order to unravel it.

Lucien’s tone paused, revealing a faint grievance so that I can’t help but smile.

Lucien: [sighing] So I just shut myself up in my office and said to myself-

Lucien: “If you can’t come up with a solution tonight, then you may as well remove your professor title.”

He spoke with a gentle tone, but with a seriousness that could not be doubted.

I couldn’t imagine that Lucien would also say such “harsh words” when he was angry with himself, I chuckled softly and was eager to ask.

MC: And then?

Lucien’s eyes are rippled with a smile, he spoke unhurriedly.

Lucien: Then I started trying again and again, failing, and then trying again…

Lucien: Just when I was a little tired, I don’t know why but a figure of certain producer suddenly broke into my mind.

He turned his head to look at me, the curve of his lips gradually deepened

Lucien: Perhaps it is because I stayed in the office a lot during that time and rarely had the opportunity to go out for a walk.

Lucien: So during that spare time when my mind wanders off, she appeared together with sunshine, flowers, and butterflies…

My figure was clearly captured in those long, narrow eyes. I couldn't help but move closer to him, resting my chin on his shoulder.

MC: Did her presence make the tired professor feel "healed"?

Lucien's eyes flickered, then he pinched the tip of my nose.

Lucien: Yes.

Lucien: It even gave me an unimaginable amount of motivation.

I smiled contentedly and turned my head back to the scene on the projection.

MC: However, this scene… seems to be much clearer than the previous one full of formulas?

I opened my mouth somewhat questioningly, and was met with Lucien's smiling acquiescence.

Lucien: As expected of the great producer, she is very observant.

Lucien: We have tested this device several times and found that the results are not very stable. More experimental data are needed to find out the exact cause.

Lucien: However, based on the fact that the effect of the device is greatly affected by the state of the person... I also have another guess.

When he met my eyes, Lucien arched his lips and spoke softly.

Lucien: These images reflect the innermost thoughts of people.

Lucien: Perhaps the more the subconscious mind yearns for something, the clearer the picture becomes.

My heartstrings were gently plucked, and his eyes held my gaze like a deep ocean that I unconsciously wanted to drown in.

[Knocking sounds]

Pete: Professor, the experimental data have already been compiled.

Pete's voice suddenly rang from the door, and Lucien responded faintly, rubbing the top of my hair.

Lucien: I'm going to have a short meeting and will be right back.

I nodded, and the room became quiet as the door closed with a clear click.

I picked up a piece of white paper and doodled the image I had just seen in Lucien's mind.

However, after I had painted three "masterpieces" in a row, the "short meeting" that Lucien referred to was still unfinished, and I propped my head up in boredom as my thoughts drifted away.

In a trance, I suddenly thought of the movie that we didn’t finish today.

The afternoon sun, the hustle and bustle of the streets, and the sweet couple tasting the same ice cream.

It's just that the hero and heroine have been transformed into me and Lucien without I realizing it.

When I think about it, we really don't get to go on many relaxed dates like this, and when we have time, we'll go somewhere nice to hang out…

The sunlight outside the window dances on my eye. I was immersed in the imagination in my mind and smiled sweetly.

============================================================

Lucien: Are you thinking about something interesting?

A sudden voice interrupted my thoughts.

I turned my head and saw Lucien standing at the door, the corners of his eyes raised slightly, as if he had caught the smile that I had not been able to suppress at the corner of my mouth.

Lucien: You seem to be so absorbed in it that you didn't even notice when I pushed the door in.

MC: I…

“Bzzt- Bzzt-”

The sound of the device's operation suddenly rang out, causing Lucien and me to look towards the corner. Looking at the film coming out of the machine, Lucien walked up to check it out.

MC: What's going on…

Lucien: I think the instrument has started working "without permission" again… Was MC thinking about something just now?

Lucien: If so, I think it must have "captured" the image you just thought of in your mind.

MC: The image in my mind?

Lucien nodded, picked up the film and looked at me .

Lucien: May I take a look at it?

Lucien: I'm also curious what MC thinks about when she's relaxing.

MC: Of course! I'd like to show it to you, too~

I stepped forward and looked curiously at the film in his hand, but found it a little different from what I expected…

On the film, there appears to be a picture of a sunny beach, and several pictures of creamy ice cream, popcorn, and other treats.

MC: Strange, why is it almost all food?

Lucien: Consciousness doesn't lie, Miss Glutton.

Lucien gave me a teasing look, and I looked at the film in my hand with some embarrassment and confusion.

MC: This is not what I want you to see, is it because I didn't record it just now?

Lucien had a thoughtful expression on his face, then he took the film in my hand and looked at it.

Suddenly, he picked up a scissor, smiled gently, and cut a section from the film. Then he put it into the projector.

Just when I was a little confused, the lights dimmed again, and in the projection on the wall, Lucien and I walked side by side in the crowded street.

The sun was bright but not blinding, we were smiling and looking at each other, tasting the ice cream that was melting in his hands.

Lucien looked attentively at the projection, and without knowing what he was thinking, he suddenly turned his eyes to me.

In the darkness, his eyes were very bright, as if to say...

"Is this the image you just thought of?"

The colored light passes over his face and casts a reflection in his eyes.

And in these shifting shades of light, a small, yet incredibly clear me is reflected.

With the sound of the film spinning, we silently gazed at each other.

Suddenly, Lucien's lips drew up a curve-

Lucien: I guess that's the part you want me to see, right?

I lifted the corners of my mouth, sat down beside him, and gently leaned my head on his shoulder.

MC: When I was waiting for you, I suddenly thought of the movie we didn't finish watching today.

MC: And then in my mind, the hero and heroine were replaced by our appearance~

Lucien nodded his head and followed my words seriously.

Lucien: Thanks to the great producer, I was able to see another “rendition” of  the show.

I laughed softly and followed his gaze as we quietly watched the screen, the small office now felt like our private cinema.

The images slowly flowed in the darkness, and our even breathing sounds were intertwined in my ears. All of a sudden, Lucien chuckled beside me.

MC: What's the matter?

Lucien: Nothing, it just seems that our conscious images have a common element.

He looked at the screen on the wall, and a faint smile appeared in his eyes.

Lucien: Whether it's under the trees on an island, or just hanging out like the hero and heroine in a movie-

Lucien: Although our lives were filled with work during this period of time, the image of the other person would inadvertently come into our minds.

Lucien: And we both enjoy a moment of freedom and joy by thinking of each other.

The light reflected through his eyes and warmed my heart.

I took his arm and nodded vigorously.

MC: It's true that we both want to see each other, but the longing is not too tormenting at all~

MC: It's like meeting each other in imagination!

Lucien smiled gently, and looked at me seriously as if he had thought of something.

Lucien: Since we don't have to meet in our imagination now, then...

Lucien: Can we continue what we were doing before we got interrupted?

I glanced at the projection on the wall and assumed he meant watching a movie, and subconsciously wanted to say yes, but then I couldn't help but think of something else.

MC: No, before we continue to watch the movie, we have to go to dinner first!

MC: “Professor Lucien has not eaten properly for a while” I haven’t forgotten that!

Lucien was stunned for a moment, then tapped the tip of my nose helplessly.

Lucien: MC seems to have misunderstood.

Lucien: When I say "something that was interrupted", I don't mean watching a movie.

While I was lost in thought, he tightened the window shutter behind him, which had a gap, and leaned over to me.

He lifted my chin gently, his breath slowly enveloped all my senses, and I closed my eyes involuntarily.

The warm, soft touch blooms on our lips, and in the increasingly hot temperature, we feel each other's heartbeat and desire.

-Like the romantic and charming light and shadow on the wall.

===========================================================

(T/N: MC is the dinner-)

#mlqc lucien #mr love lucien #poor pete tho lmaoo #also that ending- #mr love queen's choice #mlqc spoiler #mlqc translation #mlqc cn #this date is so cute but also i can't help but think of s1 ch 25-

[mariusroyale]

a list of things Mikey does after the movie

- he can’t use his hands.

- at the very least he can like. touch stuff- but in terms of actually holding things? PBBT.

- has sessions with draxum

- learns more about his mystic abilities + their side effects

- also learns that he’s able to stabilise said side effects with external help. so no dealing w that shit alone (AND NO DYING I HATE THAT SCENE SO MUCH-)

- he asks a lot of questions about the future

- don’t talk about the hair with him.

- he may not razz his tazz with his hands but his feet are still rated e for everyone

- can’t cook so like.. takeout is their meal aside from pizza

- vents to April and his dad when he can (u think he’s gonna put more on his brothers’ plates? LMAOOOO *cries*)

- nightmares. he opts for sleeping next to Leo bc haha. pull that self sacrifice bs again and he will lose it

- no art making :/

- and it genuinely saddens him for a good while

- until raph comes up with this idea

- bc as kids, raph liked to join mikey with art

- but sometimes 2d mediums was just hard. pens and crayons got small in his hands so he doesn’t like making detailed drawings

- but one time they got play dough

- and raph LOVED it and mikey was so happy to see his big bro loving art even more

- so he offers mikey some clay to mess with (“when did you-?” “i was gonna plan on making something with you again but,, things got in the way,,”)

- and he sculpts things!!

- “LIKE THE OTHER MICHELANGELO!!”

- he couldn’t hold shit but poking and prodding and pushing something as malleable as clay made him feel.. good. not helpless.

- he’s abt to ask raph if he wants to join but :((

- but regardless sometimes in the medbay with Leo while he’s sculpting his bro throws out random ideas on what to make

- “i already made a red eared slider!” “hmm.. but have you considered making a second one”

- “Donnie?” “you already made the Donatello bust in my workshop so it’s not really necessary to make another one,” “CAN I GET AN IDEA THAT DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU TWO NARCISSISTS-”

- he makes them anyway bc he loves them

- Donnie’s already made a kiln (“when did you make this????” “dw about it”)

- his little sculptures hang around Leo’s bed, Donnie’s workshop + lab and Raph’s shelves

- sometimes with extra bad nightmares he clings onto Leo

- “I’m alright- im alright” “if you pull that ever again I’m gonna kill you myself-“ “ALRIGHT 😭”

- he has a serious talk about leo though, how he leads, how it effects everyone including him

- ofc it ends in a nice cuddle bc u think u can get rid of him?? you’d have to pry him off

- and he asks about the crater in raph’s shell once

- and after hearing what happened he’s going to Donnie to ask about the escape pods (his face is all ruddy with tears)

- and goes to raph and snoozes on his bench press bc he won’t let him near without bringing his nunchucks >:(

- sometimes he also just spontaneously cries

- like he could be typing something and then boom tears

- only goes to sleep w ppl by his side

- he’s putting stickers on everyone’s casts and bandages lol

- he put his lightning sticker on the top left side of his plastron for raph “so you’re not the only one!” (raph starts crying abt it-)

- he wants a pizza cookie.

- “aren’t your hands-?” “yeah, which is why i want the family making it! with yours truly as the instructor!���

- it’s actually a delicious pizookie

- they all eat it at like 2 in the morning bc 1. insomnia 2. nightmares 3. why would they wait to eat a pizza cookie

- it’s a nice bonding time even though they’re all tired as shit

#rise mikey #rottmnt #text post

[ailendolin]

Fluff Friday - 4 - BBC Ghosts

Title: Howling [AO3]

Characters: The Captain & Kitty, Alison & Everyone

Prompt: The Captain telling Kitty a bedtime story - Prompt by the lovely @right-amount-of-weirdness

A/N: The story the Captain tells Kitty in this is one of many my own grandmother used to make up and tell me when I slept over at her and my grandfather's place. It's very dear to me and I'm more than grateful that I asked her to tell it to me again when I'd grown up so I could write it down.

Prompts are open, so if you want me to write a story for you as well just send me an ask with the fandom, characters and your prompt. I’m writing for Ghosts, Yonderland, Horrible Histories and Bill at the moment.

Six Idiots Whump Wednesday / Fluff Friday masterlist is here.

————

Howling

“Katherine,” the Captain said in surprise. He was just coming in from his late night patrol and had not expected anyone to be still awake at this time of night, least of all young Kitty. “What are you still doing up? You must be tired after last night.”

Kitty gave him a miserable look. “I am but I just can’t fall asleep. I can’t get Freddy Krueger out of my head. And I don’t mean that in a good way.”

“Hm,” the Captain said, not happy to hear that. “Alison never should have told you to watch that film if it’s so scary.”

“It was,” Kitty said, her eyes wide with fear in the moonlit hallway. “It truly was. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep again.”

Her shoulders heaved with a barely suppressed sob and she buried her face in her hands, clearly distressed. For a second, the Captain faltered, not used to dealing with people when they were upset. It was one of the many reasons why he’d liked the military so much – there had been no room for emotional outbursts of any kind there. If any of his soldiers had ever cried, they surely hadn’t done it in his presence.

Unwillingly, he thought of Havers. Had he ever cried, the Captain wondered. Surely not at Button House – but at the front, perhaps? The things one saw there … they could be hard to stomach. The Captain might not know this from personal experience but he vividly remembered the nights he had lain in bed with his eyes wide open while his father screamed in his sleep because his mind had still been trapped in The Somme. He desperately hoped Havers had never been haunted like that; and if he had that perhaps the thought of Button House and his old CO had brought him some comfort over in–

Kitty sniffed loudly, bringing the Captain back to the present. He took in her shaking shoulders and hunched posture and wished he knew how to make her forget that dreadful film. Someone with such a radiant and beautiful personality as her should never cry like this.

“How about I walk you to your room?” he said, feeling rather helpless in the face of her emotions – something he would never admit to openly but also couldn’t quite deny.

Kitty finally lowered her hands. Her eyes were brimming with tears but her face was completely dry – one of the more deceiving side effects of their ghostly existence. “I think I’d like that.”

Relieved, the Captain offered her his arm. He didn’t say anything when she clung to it – simply offered her a reassuring smile and led her down the hallway and up the stairs. Once they reached her room, he turned to her.

“Do you think you can sleep now?”

Kitty shook her head. “What if Freddy Krueger finds me?”

“Well,” the Captain said, an idea striking him. “I suppose I could stand watch – make sure that man won’t haunt your dreams.”

“Really?” Kitty’s face lit up – and there was that beautiful smile the Captain had missed so much. “You would do that for me?”

The Captain cleared his throat. “If it’ll help you sleep, Katherine …”

Kitty nodded eagerly. “Oh, I think it would, Captain. Thank you so much!”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the door into her room. The Captain tried not to think about how inappropriate this was – a man in a lady’s room, after midnight and with no chaperone no less. Not that he would ever proposition young Kitty in that way. She was, for lack of a better term, like a daughter to him, and he was, well–

“Father used to tell me a bedtime story when I couldn’t sleep,” Kitty said, interrupting his thoughts. “Not from a book, though – he always made them up in his head. His stories were the best.”

She sighed wistfully.

“My grandmother used to do the same,” the Captain admitted quietly, hoping that by sharing this he might distract Kitty from her past and the sorrow that lay there. “I sometimes stayed with her when my mother had to take my father to the hospital – his health was very poor, you see. She could paint the most incredible pictures with her words.”

He had never told anyone that, and for a moment he regretted sharing that dear memory. But then Kitty looked up at him and asked, very quietly, “Do you – do you think you could tell me one of her stories?”

The Captain hesitated. “I’m not sure if I even remember all the parts–“

“That’s okay,” Kitty smiled at once. “You can just make something up. Father used to say that’s how all great stories come to life.”

“Well,” the Captain cleared his throat. “Who am I to argue with the man who raised such a wise young woman?”

Kitty giggled at the compliment and patted her bed. The Captain slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the mattress. It might not be the most comfortable position to be in but it allowed him to see her face without invading her personal space.

“What will the story be about, Captain?” Kitty asked eagerly. “Dashing heroes, beautiful princesses and fearsome dragons?”

The Captain shook his head. “None of that, I’m afraid. It’s about a young wolf cub who grows up to be a leader.”

Kitty gasped. “Oh, I love it already!”

The Captain’s lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile as he began his grandmother’s story.

“Once upon a time, there lived a wolf pack in the forest. One night, when the moon was full, a young wolf was born into the pack. He was as dark as the midnight sky while all the other wolves were grey, and he was weak and very sickly. The pack’s leader took one look at him and told his mother to take him away.”

Kitty gasped. “Oh no. Did she really abandon him?”

The Captain nodded. “She had no choice if she wanted to stay with the pack. It was winter, you see, and prey was scarce. The pack meant safety for her.”

“But he was her son!” Kitty protested. “How could she do that to him?”

“The wolf mother asked herself the same question when she came back to the pack’s den later that day, alone,” the Captain said. “Try as she might, she could not forget her son’s beautiful face so that night, when the pack was sleeping, she sneaked back outside to find him. He was right where she had left him, lying curled up by a tree stump and shivering miserably in the cold.”

“I bet he was happy to see her,” Kitty said. “Did they go back to the pack and confront the leader?”

“No,” the Captain said. “They ran away, as fast and as far as they could until they found a different forest, one outside of their old pack’s territory. Being on their own wasn’t easy for them at first, but eventually they managed to find a den and also some prey. Hares and mice, mostly, and every now and then a struggling deer. Enough to get by if only barely. Winter eventually turned into spring and life got easier for them. The young cub grew and became healthy and strong. One day, he and his mother found a wolf cub by the riverbank. She was completely drenched and exhausted, and terribly alone, so they took her in. It didn’t matter to them that she was white as snow, or that something was wrong with her left front paws so she could only limp. She became a part of their family, and so did all the other cubs they found over the years, abandoned just like our young cub had been once upon a time. The pack grew and grew and with the midnight-black wolf as their leader, they thrived in their new home.”

Kitty smiled up at him sleepily. “And they lived happily ever after, howling at the moon.”

“That they did,” the Captain said softly.

Shifting around a little to get more comfortable, Kitty yawned. “That was a wonderful story, Captain. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

The Captain, feeling a little flustered, cleared his throat. “Do you think you can fall asleep now?”

Kitty nodded and closed her eyes. “You will still stay, though, won’t you? Just until I–?”

“Yes,” the Captain said. “I’ll be here.”

Peace settled over Kitty’s face then and her shoulders relaxed. The Captain turned away from her, giving her her privacy, and looked out of the window, his swagger stick tightly clutched between his hands. The moon was nearly full and he’d like to think that one of the countless twinkling stars around it might be his grandmother, looking down at him and smiling from very far away.

“Well done, lad,” he imagined the wind whispered.

“Captain?” Kitty suddenly asked, sounding on the verge of sleep.

“Yes, Katherine?”

She was quiet for a moment. “Alison made us into a family, didn’t she? Just like that young wolf and his mother did with all the abandoned cubs.”

The Captain swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. He hadn’t realised what sort of parallels he’d been drawing with his grandmother’s story but now that Kitty had pointed them out it was hard to deny them. For Kitty was right: they had all been lost in some way, hurt and a little bit broken, and somehow Alison had managed to turn them from a group of strangers into a family – one that squabbled and fought and rarely saw eye to eye, perhaps, but was always there for each other when it counted. Just like he was there for Kitty now, or how Patrick had been there for him the day before when he’d realised that the Captain had no idea how to build a shelter or get a fire going and hadn’t laughed at him for it.

Unconsciously, he reached up to touch the award Patrick had given him a few hours ago and smiled.

“She sure did, Katherine,” he whispered into the dark.

Kitty didn’t reply and one look at her confirmed that she had finally fallen asleep. The Captain allowed himself a small, fond smile before he looked back outside the window at the moon and the stars. He would stay a little longer, he decided; to make sure Kitty���s dreams weren’t haunted.

After all, that’s what family did.

#kitty #the captain #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts fanfic #my fic #fluff friday #wwff challenge

[hollandorks]

Okay I’ve thought about the bit from chapter 18 that scares me the most, like asshole clenching scared. Her waking up on top of the beams, tied up, surrounded by a bunch of riddler wannabes. I am so scared of heights. Being helpless that high up? Nope. Sorry. I’d be acting like I’m still unconscious because I would be paralyzed by fear.

I can’t wait for Bruce to come in. He’s gonna crash through the ceiling, assess the enemies and then he’s going to see her and malfunction. He’s gonna have to untie her, right? And quickly. How is he gonna do that? The blade? Honestly I hope so because the man would be shaking. He definitely promised himself he’d never go near her with it in his hands.

Also I hope when the fight is over she doesn’t stay and try to help with the flooding. She was unconscious. She should definitely get to a hospital and get her head examined. Bruce too. I know he won’t because when has he ever showed regard for his personal well-being.

Also I can’t wait for her to find out about Falcone. I think it’ll cause a lot of angst and inner turmoil because even though they got some of them, they clearly didn’t get all of them.

I know I already sent you some hcs but I’ve re-read, and I have more. I have some spicy ones too.

-Bruce is the king of cracking backs. He’s just so unnecessarily good at it, and it doesn’t make any sense. It’s a hidden talent he has.

-My cat is such a cuddler. When he’d sleep with my parents when I was younger he would sleep in between them, so he could be touching each of them. I imagine their cat being like that. He’d sleep in between them at night, so he could be near both of them.

-She has nightmares about being helpless and drugged. Bruce definitely does too! He needs to feel in control, and that control was ripped away from him.

-They have nightmares very differently. Bruce is a silent guy, so he has silent nightmares. He doesn’t whimper or call out. His body just jerks and trembles. If it wakes her up (which it often will) she’ll help him come out of it, and then just lay on top of him. Bruce seems like the type of person who would need a lot of comfort. He’d like having her on top of him. He’d find it soothing. He’d be able to play with her hair and they silently talk about whatever comes to mind. If she doesn’t wake up Bruce just wraps himself around her and reminds himself that she’s alive and okay. That as long as she’s here everything will be.

-I go feral for trials. I imagine she’d have to take the stand, and her time on the stand would consist of several days. She preps for the trial with Gordon and the prosecutor. Trial prep and actually being on the stand is very different though. Answering questions from the prosecutor is easy. It’s hard for her to tell her story and relive it, but she knows it’s necessary. She slowly starts getting exhausted. Bruce is the most caring and so gentle through it all. He takes care of her. Especially during cross examination because the defense attorney is such a dick and extreme. They’d wear her down and she’d cry a lot (at home, on the stand she doesn’t wanna show any weakness). Bruce obviously wants to pummel the defense attorney. Once cross examination starts she’d start shutting down at home. Not speaking more than necessary. Mostly nodding or shaking her head. Her expression would be very dead, and she’d just feel hallowed out. Bruce would take excellent care of her. Making sure she eats and eats enough, gets enough sleep, he’d even wash her hair for her if she was too tired to do it herself. Just super boyfriend Bruce.

-Bruce and Gordon become closer during the trial process because they spend a lot of time together supporting and being there for her. Alfred becomes closer to Gordon too.

-I think Gordon would have to take the stand since he was a responding officer and made an arrest. I imagine it taking every bit of restraint he has from sassing the defense attorney. It wouldn’t be a good look for him or the police department. He wants to pummel him too, and he’s appalled by the way he treated her on the stand. Gordon wants to fight.

-Gordon becomes like a surrogate uncle to her.

!Time for spice!

-Bruce likes being able to look at her face while they’re going at it. He just wants to make sure she’s okay and enjoying herself the entire time.

-They’d totally have a sex day. A day where even if they’re busy they find time to have sex and just be close to each other. They’re both busy and sometimes don’t get to see each other as often as they’d like. This day is holy for them.

-That day is not holy for Alfred. He avoids their hallway like his life depends on it. And the Batcave.

-If Bruce had a nightmare about what happened at the gala the next time they’d do it, he’d pay extra attention to loving her body. Kissing it all over, eating her 🐱 like he’s been starved, etc.. She knows the nightmare is what caused it. She doesn’t like that he feels the need to make it up to her but holy shit does it feel good.

-Bruce loves being marked up. He loves when his back his scratched and he’s covered in hickeys and love bites.

-Bruce likes holding hands during sex. He’s gentle and it makes him feel soft. He needs the closeness.

-I don’t think they’d do anything to crazy but they’d have a safe word. Bruce would bring it up because he knows her trauma, and it’s important to him. She agrees to it because it is a good idea. He also wants it in case either of them get overwhelmed at any point.

-The first time she gave him a BJ he panicked a little bit. He was worried about if she could breathe properly and if she was enjoying herself.

-Bruce does his batman thing so he obviously stretches a lot. Can’t be vengeance if your body stops working because you didn’t prepare it. I imagine that one night she’d have to push him off of her because she’d get a charley horse (as a chronic charley horse sufferer I fear getting them in any situation) in the middle of sex. After the initial concern and worry he finds it very funny. He does not stop laughing and he massages where it happened.

-They’d totally have giggly sex at least a couple of times. It’s when they’re both just really happy. Probably after they got engaged (and after they told Alfred) and after they get married.

For now that’s all my brain was able to come up with.

Much love!

🦇

Bestie, bestie, bestie. Sometimes these hcs are so spot on it's like you looked directly into my brain

"Asshole clenching scared" good description tbh. I thought of that when writing though, how disconcerting it'd be to wake up somewhere else and realize you're super high up. That little swoop of fear and panic in your gut. Watching the movie, that whole fight scene made me extra nervous because the whole time I was like "he's gonna fall!!!!"

No comment on your predictions etc though 👀 I can't wait to write and reveal all of that stuff is all I'm saying.

Bruce definitely can crack backs really well. He's tall and tall people are great at it! I speak from experience! (My brother is a very tall dude, but he lives really far away from me, so the rare times I see him in person my first words are always "hey can you crack my back")

Love the cat thing. Bruce would be one of those grudging cat dads who doesn't want the cat at first then spoils the fuck out of it. Also don't wanna spoil anything but...I have a plan

I love the whole trope of comfort after nightmares! Which you can totally tell because we already have a ton of scenes like that. They both definitely use touch to ground themselves, to remind themselves that the other is alive, safe, whole. That's a big thing for them. I also feel like Bruce isn't very PDA in public but in private especially after a nightmare he becomes so so sweet (no matter which one of them had the nightmare)

Not really a spoiler but I don't plan to write the trial--mostly because I know I wouldn't be able to do it well, it's just a fact. But you're really spot on with all of that I think! Especially her falling to pieces at home but staying strong on the stand/ in court, Bruce being comforting etc. And the part where Bruce and Gordon (and let's be honest, Alfred) have trouble not pummeling the attorney during cross examination. And they definitely all get closer to Gordon. As we already saw at the beginning of SITN he's kind of already adopted the reader, and I think the trial would only solidify that. Bruce would be so grateful for the help Gordon can give her with the legal/ court stuff and for defending her on the stand, they'd instantly be buds

Now for the spice!

Bruce is of course a very considerate lover. This is canon in my mind. He likes to see (and hear) what she likes, how she reacts, etc.

I don't think they'd necessarily schedule a sex day, but it would inevitably reach a point almost every week without fail where they haven't spent a lot of time together and then spontaneously clear their schedules so they can spend the day in bed (and elsewhere). Alfred always knows when this happens somehow (before the uhh noises start) and clears out for the whole day/ stays on the opposite side of the house if he doesn't leave.

Idk if you read the proposal oneshot but I did make it canon ish where Bruce has a nightmare and they have sex! He 100% needs something more than cuddles sometimes (and so does she)

He definitely loves closeness and intimacy of any kind during the deed. I also think he'd like marking her tbh!

Bruce is also very aware of her trauma and is very thoughtful, I agree! Also yeah....he's probably always concerned about her enjoying herself especially when she's giving a BJ and she has to patiently explain that she likes it....

The charley horse thing, why is that so funny 😂 I could see that happening!

The giggly sex--yes! They are stupidly in love after all!

Thanks for all the thoughts and hcs bestie, I always love seeing them! ❤️ Hope life is treating you well!

#asks #anon #my favorite 🦇 #motn #🦇 anon #🦇

[ridiasfangirlings]

Eyyyyyyy so I had this day dream where Fushimi nightmare of one of Gotou's dolls and in the middle of the night goes to their room and tells gotou to burn it ◉‿◉

He finds Hidaka also having a nightmare about it and while that doll is still here. Fushimi being so sleepy suggests to sleep at Captains room because he bought captain lucky charms in every mission wherein he visits a temple XD

So he goes to munakata's room (let's say he gave him a spare key) and sleeps there peacefully.... Munakata wakes up to find the whole special squad there though hahahhaha

Somehow this makes me think of that scene during the thunderstorm in The Sound of Music, will Munakata have them all sing about their favorite things XD Imagine Gotou picks up some particularly cursed puppet from a strange person at a random night market, he’s very pleased by his new find and wants to show it off to all the squad. Hidaka goes running the moment Gotou walks towards him and almost runs into Fushimi, who looks over at Gotou and asks why Hidaka’s running off recklessly like an idiot. Gotou serenely says he isn’t sure and asks if Fushimi wants to see his new cursed item, holding up this ugly creepy puppet. Fushimi makes a face and is like don’t leave that thing out here. Gotou leaves to put the puppet in his room as Fushimi sits down to work. Except now for some reason he keeps feeling like something is watching him even when he’s alone in the room.

By late night Fushimi’s tired and extra cranky, he’s been working all day and been on edge for reasons he can’t explain, he just keeps feeling like he’s being watched. He storms back to his room and immediately falls asleep. Usually when he’s this tired he doesn’t dream at all but this time he has a dream of Gotou’s puppet like turning into Niki and playing with Fushimi on strings. Fushimi wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing hard and even shaking a little. He tries to go back to sleep but the moment he closes his eyes he sees the puppet again. Finally Fushimi clicks his tongue and grabs some knives, hiding them under his pajamas as he storms over to Gotou and Hidaka’s room and bangs on the door.

The door slams open and Hidaka just throws himself at Fushimi all ‘Fushimi-san, save me!’. Fushimi grumbles at him to get away and wonders what he thinks he’s doing, poor Hidaka just looks so miserable as he says Gotou went on a late night snack run and “it” won’t leave him alone. Fushimi pushes Hidaka aside and there’s the puppet, positioned right by the bed innocently surrounded by piles of cursed statues. Fushimi intended to burn the stupid thing but the more he looks at it the more he feels this gross clammy sense of dread, like right now in the dark he’s helpless. Hidaka asks what they should do, do they need a shrine priest to come and exorcise it, maybe he has some charms to ward off ghosts until morning. Fushimi snaps that why would he have any of that but then it occurs to him that there is one person who does.

Fushimi leads Hidaka to Munakata’s room, explaining that whenever he visits a temple on a mission Captain requests a souvenir charm and Fushimi always buys him the ‘warding off evil’ ones because he figured those were the most useless. Munakata never leaves his door locked (because his door is always open to his men of course) and as soon as they open the door they can feel this blast of clean air, like everywhere else is cursed but here. Hidaka wonders if this is okay and Fushimi says he doesn’t care, he wants to get some sleep. He walks right into Munakata’s room and settles himself in a chair with a blanket, falling right asleep. 

Hidaka hovers in the doorway, not sure what to do. Suddenly he hears a noise down the hall and nearly jumps as Doumyouji comes running, dragging Kamo behind him. Hidaka asks what’s wrong and Doumyouji is freaking out, waving his arms and yelling about “cursed puppet dreams.” Kamo admits he had a terrible dream also, Doumyouji’s almost in tears as he says the puppet was hunting him. Hidaka tries to be like I’m sure that didn’t happen but he actually isn’t so sure of that. Suddenly he’s hit by a flashlight beam and there’s Fuse and Enomoto, who also had terrible dreams and were going to get some water. A moment later Akiyama and Benzai come around the corner, they also had nightmares and went to have some late night tea and cake to calm themselves. Hidaka looks back at Munakata’s room and Enomoto asks if something’s in there. Hidaka’s like “well…” as he pushes the door open and they all instantly can feel how much nicer the air is in that room. Soon everyone’s fast asleep in Munakata’s room, he wakes up in the morning to find it seems he had a sleepover without realizing. (At some point when they all wake up Hidaka realizes that Gotou’s there too and wonders how he found them all, Gotou smiles and says “that child” told him, Fushimi immediately gets up like come on we’re going to go burn it now.)

#k project #Talking K #imagine Munakata waking up to this #all his children came to hide in his room #like there was a bonding activity and he missed it D: #if they'd told him they wanted a sleepover he would have stayed up and given manicures #I'm not saying the puppet was possessed by Niki's black soul but I'm not not saying that

[nebulousneuroticism]

Ugh.

I got less than four hours of sleep before my dentist appointment, but the stress was enough to prevent me from feeling tired.  I wasn’t very talkative with the hygienist.  I sat through all the usual stuff: cleaning, x-rays, measuring my gums.  Then the dentist came and gave me the bad news: one new cavity and one cracked filling.

I dissociated a little.  I probably came off as rude or angry, because people always seem to think I’m angry when I get quiet.  I guess the diagnosis wasn’t a huge surprise--they’ve shown me the cavity area before, way on the back of my back tooth where the toothbrush can’t really reach.  And I think I remember when the filling got cracked--I was eating something, and I momentarily panicked, thinking I had chipped a tooth, but I couldn’t feel anything out of place so I figured it was fine.  So it’s not a surprise, and I don’t think I’m being taken advantage of... but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

I also got the usual lecture about my gum recession, and yet another referral to the periodontist.  But I don’t want to go to the periodontist... I’m too scared.  I know she’ll want to do another graft, but the last one was so incredibly miserable and didn’t even fix the problem: the area she grafted is one of the ones the dentist wants to refer me for.  It feels futile, and I’m afraid of going through all the pain again for no results, and every time I visit the dentist I’m afflicted with shame (for not doing it) and fear (of doing it).

Anyway.  I made an appointment for the fillings two weeks from now.  Then I went home and dissociated through an afternoon of work, until the lack of sleep caught up with me.  I ended up napping, waking up around seven pm, and going out for some food before spending the night with the most mindless distractions I could.

I don’t feel good tonight.  I have two weeks until those fillings, and I will be filled with dread for every moment of them.  I just feel... so helpless.

[searching-for-synpathy]

I am fucking going thru it rn tbh lol. Just getting bashed by waves of helplessness and trauma triggers just over and over till i feel numb and scroll reddit 9 hours per day to cope.

Not only do I keep having dumbass drama with my (also traumatized slightly unhinged) siblings, which included me having to tell one to BACK THE FUCK OFF when he tried to physically grab me during an argument, but ALSO my dad almost killed us multiple times by driving recklessly, ALSO my stepdad was screaming last night at my mom about how his suicide ideation wasnt a big deal I guess, and I was up till 1am last night wondering if he was going to snap and fucking take us all out. This is horrible. I cannot be still fucking dealing with this nonsense at 22 years old. It CANNOT be getting WORSE than it was, which was horrible. What the fuck is going on. Oh also my dad dying right, that’s always there too. What the fuck. Why is it like this. Why are they doing this to me.

I don’t feel like I can talk to my girlfriend about any of it really because it would just be nonstop whiny fucking garbage about this awful place and I dont want to do that to her. On the drive to the restaurant we went to today I was just thinking about my official diagnosis (“adjustment disorder” which maybe is just what they use for generic MH issues) and just how much of a weepy fucking mess I’ve been and how ive never been very liked and. Blah. Im gonna stop there bc i know its not a healthy rabbit hole and it was actually the cause of a lot of that same weepiness in college. Self fulfilling prophecy. But my point actually is just that I feel fucking kneecapped by my awful family and our random bad circumstances at this point. It’s not REALLY my siblings’ or stepdad’s faults that theyre like this, but jesus christ, you guys, can you fucking try? For me? And the years of fucking accumulation of this shit has just worn my willpower and self esteem to the nub. No wonder I have no goals and no confidence that I can do anything real in the world! I can’t even keep my dad and my stepdad and my sublings from tearing yhe fucking world apart! What am I supposed to do about anything! Rinse and repeat. Exhausted angry tired going to sleep in my dad’s house tonight which is at least actually peaceful.

#adrian.txt #venty vent

[poppywriter]

✿❀✿

This chapter tackles subjects that can be sensitive to some readers, please do not interact if you are uncomfortable.

⚠️ Warning : depiction of depressive behavior (depressive thoughts, suicidal thoughts,…).

Read at your own risk.

- Beaucoup d’amour, Poppy.

✿❀✿

❀ Pansy n°3 = “I’m tired.”

This quick, short, simple sentence is quite interesting. I like it as much as I hate it. It can be seen as meaningless whereas it is possibly quite meaningful.

“I’m tired.”

It is the most mundane way to express a physical state of fatigue. It is not too tiring to say it because of its shortness, and it is easily understandable. Everyone knows and understands what being tired is, right ? It is a state that everyone suffers from almost daily. Everyone knows this feeling in the morning, when it is difficult to get up because you’re still tired, you haven’t slept enough and your body is begging you to stay cuddled up in your warm bed sheets. The horrible pain that comes with having to pry your eyes open when they can’t help but stay closed. How helpless one can feel, as it is like fighting against your own body to finally get up, to finally wake up.

I also think that everyone knows the feeling of fatigue weighing down your eyes, as if you can physically feel your eyebags because your exhaustion is so present that it has started to weigh you down.

Personally, I know what I’m talking about, ‘cause I have quite the messed up sleep schedule (thanks to insomnia, never ending anxiety, and maybe a bit because of my excessive screen time… :/ ).

Living while being tired is very difficult. How can one be expected to work normally when their body isn’t at its maximum capacity. It’s normal to ask yourself this type of question, but sadly, because today’s society goes so fast, and everyone has to work their asses off to survive, you have no choice but to overview your own physical condition to go on. This type of difficult living is, today, what we can call “common-knowledge”. It bothers everyone but nothing can quite be done…

Yet, it can be even more difficult than being physically tired. In fact, it becomes worse when being physically exhausted is your everyday state. When it is like this constantly, you cannot help but also be emotionally tired. And that’s when the meaning of this simple sentence changes.

“I’m tired”, becomes a simplified way to express an emotional, moral and psychological state of fatigue. I would go even as far as saying, a state of depression.

In this specific case, I don’t think everyone knows how this feels. It is so particular, peculiar, distinct. This precise state can be depicted as a constant feeling of being numb. Emotions are tiring so you can end up not feeling them anymore, you literally seal them away to not waste the last small bits of your energy on them. On the other hand, you can end up feeling them as if they were multiplied, which tires you out even more. Both of those cases are terrible for your mental health. In this peculiar state of psychological exhaustion, thinking can become tiring, any little event or responsibility can be seen as a humongous activity which will inevitably steal away all your energy. My point of view and explanation of this physical, psychological and emotional state can be biased by the fact that I am quite subject to anxiety. So, I may give away a more “exaggerated” version of it (I am also hypersensitive, so everything feels multiplied).

I, personally, feel exhausted by these constant overwhelming thoughts, responsibilities, changements and the inevitable passing of time which gives me less time to process and get through all those things which overwhelm me.

As I grew up, this simple sentence totally changed its significance for me. It is as if it lost all of its raw meaning. I feel a bit guilty of this… Let me explain.

When I was younger, everyone knew me for being a heavy sleeper. I mean, it happened more often than not that I slept in until 2pm. I just needed a lot of sleep, and also felt inevitably safe in my bed that on so many mornings I was just too lazy to get up and get breakfast. But as time went by, it was revealed that I indeed slept late, but that was because I fell asleep late (mostly because of hyperfixations, screens, sometimes books, fanfictions or, of course, overthinking). So even if I slept a lot, in the eyes of my family, I kept on complaining that I was tired, obviously. But what was not so obvious, was the fact that I slowly started to use this excuse of “I’m tired” to express a lot of other things.

In fact, I started answering to every worried plea towards me by, “Don’t worry, I’m just tired.” Even though that was not the only reason… When I was feeling down, I said “I’m tired.” When I was down right sad, I said “I’m tired.” When I was annoyed, I said “I’m tired.” Et caetera…

I just thought that it was easier that way. I did not have to bother and try to explain what happened in my mind to people I was sure did not care and couldn’t help me. Plus, I just didn’t know what truly made me feel so down, so tired. It was also easier for me to reduce all of those conflictive feelings to just tiredness. And it was not entirely false. I, indeed, feel exhausted.

I am tired of being tired. Tired of working, of talking, of moving, of socializing, of thinking, of pushing through, of going forward, of making efforts, and more often than not… tired of living.

Everything just feels like a humongous burden. Every little thing weighs me down like it’s a matter of life and death. I can’t help but overthink everything, anything. I always analyze things too much, I always think too far ahead, I’m a pessimist… And I’m just tired of it all.

Everything feels helpless when you can’t help but just be tired.

It makes living an exhausting, never ending effort. The worst is that most of the time this fatigue passes off as laziness. People just criticize you because you’re “lazy”, when in fact you’re just internally exhausted. And I hate it. So many people just don’t understand this state of mind. Because it is one. As I said before, it becomes a real state of physical, psychological, emotional and moral exhaustion. And it is overlooked more often than not.

It is a real state of distress.

I have no solution to this because I am very clearly suffering from it. But I simply want people to know that they're not alone. I am sure we are thousands out there feeling helpless. I know so because mental health has become a much more talked about subject these past years, especially on social media. Still, I don’t think it is enough.

The mental distress of teenagers is particularly overlooked. I personally think it is because the adult/parent generation of today is made of people whose feelings and mental health have been overlooked during their entire growing process. How many times have we heard from our parents or grandparents “At your age I had to deal with things on my own” or stuff like that. And we know that in the past, mental health was clearly not cared for or seen as important and impacting on people’s lives. So how can they teach us that mental state and emotions matter when they haven’t been educated like that. I think it can be qualified as “generational trauma”.

Anyway, I might have gone too far into thinking again. I feel like I am stating so many obvious things but I like getting it out of my system. I really enjoy writing those pensées… It helps me be a little less confused about my feelings and honestly…

It makes me feel a little less tired.

✿❀✿

🔺Original work please do not steal or copy, Thanks.🔺

#aspiring writer #diary #english #journal #my diary #my thoughts #self expression #self growth #thoughts #aspiring author #writerslife #writers on tumblr #self help

[blahandwhatever]

The emotional rollercoaster of my cat’s health continues. Yesterday, I took him to a new vet to see about next steps. After the hassles of phone calls (first to a vet that didn’t have any appointments available this week; then to this one, which didn’t have an online form to fill out, so I had to deal with the tedium of telling them all our information over the phone and confusion and repetition and in the end misspellings still; finally to the previous vet so they could send his records over), getting idiotically lost on the way to this place - and then being late - by missing my turn due to focusing more on GPS than on the place in front of me and then being taken on a ludicrous winding drive through some side streets with the GPS endlessly changing its mind about where to go until I realized I’d somehow switched to walking directions, and the supposed failure of the previous vet to send the records over (which another phone call cleared up they had - check the spam folder, they said), he got an exam, this doctor younger and more of a problem-solver, accompanied by a kind assistant (however, no soft padding for kitty to stand on, just cold hard metal). The nystagmus present at the vet on Monday was no longer there, but two new observations were made: he had a heart murmur, and he showed nerve damage/possible loss of vision in his left eye. There was also the factor of the nosebleed on Tuesday. The doctor considered the possibilities of a stroke or vestibular disease like the previous vet but also strongly considered the possibility of a brain tumor. In which case, things would only get worse. He put the option of putting him down on the table, and the option of continuing monitoring/maintenance until I decided things had gotten too bad. Things sounded more bleak than they had before, and I felt helpless. When asked how I wanted to proceed, I felt unequipped to make a choice, but my lack of resolve was interpreted as a desire to keep going. They gave him some fluids again, and gave me some hydrating stuff to give him at home, and told me that, if we were to keep going, he’d need another antibiotic injection soon for his infection.

I did some crying and preparing for the worst yet again. I read a bunch of articles on the three possible conditions. The least serious of these - vestibular disease - is the most common, and his symptoms align well with it. The biggest mystery here would be the eye/nerve damage - plus the nosebleed - although some sources say cats with vestibular disease can show signs of vision loss. Eventually I got tired of the research and retreated into relaxation. We’d just take it one day at a time and see.

Today, he showed some improvement in his balance. I also saw him cleaning himself more. I felt cautiously optimistic. For the most part, I feel confident in his ability to manage things by himself, though as he gets a little more energy, he occasionally attempts feats his body isn’t yet ready for. Tonight he tried and failed to climb onto the living room chair, leaving a small scratch and leaving me kicking myself for removing the blanked I’d covered it with, thinking he wouldn’t go there.

In the meantime, my own life keeps on going, slowed down a bit but no more than it might be by my own procrastination, a healthy dose of compartmentalization providing some happiness even on the worse days. Today my mood was good, the moon was full, the weather was better, I had my longest non-cat-related outing of the week, and I had a surprisingly delicious dinner consisting of one of those ready-to-cook refrigerated meals that Jewel’s been selling lately - I’d tried a couple that were just okay, but the salmon and asparagus was very nice with some rice. The effects of taking my iron supplements too late in the day are becoming abundantly clear - what a difference I feel after just a day of doing it right or wrong. And, just as with sleep, if I mess it up, there’s no undoing it until I do it right the next day. Can’t believe I’m still needing them so much after all this time, but okay.

[frahnkie]

diary sunday 16/10/2022

i know other people have it worse

i know i was very close to being in a wheelchair

but today i felt very sad and isolated

my mum made me breakfast

one of her friends came over

one of mine came over

but i still feel sad

i can’t sit up to eat meals

can’t sit up for a long period of time

i pulled something in my back today

just trying to clean the bathroom

i’m frustrated

i can’t do simple tasks

and i know others have it worse

and one day i will be able

and others do not have that luxury

but it still feels dehumanising

even if just for this short period

but it doesn’t feel short

the days drag on so long

it’s been 12 days since the accident

9 since surgery

it’s been the longest week and a bit i’ve ever experienced

if i could draw or write in my journal

i wish i could

my right hand is broken, the finger

surgery in two days

if i cannot hold a pen

i cannot hold my happiness

i was quiet today

no words for how i feel

just bored. tired. hurting. frustrated.

why only me

why only me

why only me

i’m over crying

but i can’t stop

it’s not even a thought

they just run down my cheeks

i know other people have it worse

and that makes me feel worse

ironically all i want to do is go on a road trip

beeping scares me, sudden braking scares me

will i ever be behind a wheel

i always wanted to

but now i have fucking trauma

my nanna told me my great aunt had her knees crushed by a drunk driver crashing into her car in the 70s

and she’s been in a car since, probably also driven since

so if she can do it so can i

i just don’t know when i’ll be ready

also everyone reassures me i won’t become paralysed because i’ve had surgery

but now i fear if i move a certain way i could sever my spinal cord

it’s a miracle i didn’t do any damage pulling myself out of the vehicle

i held on so tightly to this muslim traffic controllers arm

every time i see a hijab im reminded of her kindness

i wanted her phone number

don’t think i’ll ever be able to thank her

im so sick of crying

crying in pain

crying in sadness

crying in gratitude

crying in gratefulness

i squeezed her so tight

i was in so much pain

i wish i could hug her again

im so tired of crying

im so tired

i want to sleep for 3-6 months

wake up and dance again

i know others have it worse

but this is pretty horrible

this is

because

she wanted

to drink

and drive

she got behind the wheel

plastered

and at 70 kms

she changed my life

i hope

she feels

every bit

of excruciating pain

i have endured

i hope

she cries

until it hurts

even then

she would not experience

half of what i have

people are saying im strong

i’ve never felt so weak

helpless

i want to go on a road trip

through the aussie countryside

and listen to country music

in a 4wd

and camp under the stars

and read and write and draw and sing

3-6 months

i’ll update with where i’ve driven

#me #mine #car crash

[spicysoftsweet]

summary: gojo’s tired of you resisting him

warnings: home invasion, noncon, degradation, fem!reader

a/n: this was supposed to be a crumb for @mahitopegger i have no idea wtf happened. i didn’t edit this || reposted from sideblog (now deactivated) on 4/17/2021.

It was only after the soft click of your door, and the eerie silence thereafter that seemed to threaten to close you in, that you realized that something wasn’t quite right. Your eyes darted left, then right, and you kicked off your shoes slower than usual, setting them semi-haphazardly to the side of your entryway.

Even if you weren’t paranoid, you were still the type of person to double check, sometimes triple-check your locks on occasion before you left your home, and you did remember your key turning the right way just seconds ago.

Maybe you were overreacting - after all you lived in a relatively safe area, alone save for your cat with a propensity to mewl for food at all hours of the day. Ah, that was possibly the issue, the fact that your little furry friend hadn’t made his presence immediately. But he knew how to be quiet sometimes, and was fond of an early afternoon nap.

The sound of your keys clattering on your coffee table now seemed unceremoniously loud, like you were disturbing a religious service. In your own house.

Your heart started to race for just a moment, and you turned around quickly.

Nothing. No person, no ghost, no cat. Just you, a sudden sense of unease, and your rapidly beating heart.

Why were you so anxious?

You couldn’t recall the last time you’d felt so unsettled for the moments in which you paced down your hallway, ears tuned to the soft footfalls of your presumably sleeping companion. You would have whispered its name but you didn’t want to wake up the needy little bastard unnecessarily.

It was only three paces in that you stilled suddenly, and the memory of the last time you’d felt this way suddenly struck vividly in your mind.

Clear blue eyes, bordered by long, pale white eyelashes. A smile, once easy and bright, with corners turned up far too high into malice.

You froze.

Was it him? Was Gojo in your house? He wouldn’t... would he?

Your last encounter had been... suboptimal, to say the least. You’d all but told him to get lost, that you weren’t and would never be interested, not after knowing who he was, what he was.

You needed a quiet, calm existence. Your imprint on the world would be measured. You had to stay away from bad omens like his.

But his reaction had been unnatural. He hadn’t given you a real response, just a smile, and you had felt just as unnerved then as you did now before you parted.

You were clearly still spooked.

But these nerves were just vestiges of your anxiety. Gojo knew how to take no for an answer. Of course he did.

He didn’t - you opened your bedroom to find the young sorcerer waiting for you, your cat comfortable in his arms.

“Ah! You’re back~”

Gojo didn’t move; rather, he continued to sit in his relaxed position, legs outstretched onto the bed, palm stroking softly at the soft orange fur. The soft purr of the docile animal filled the air with sharp contrast to your wordless mouth, opening and closing once in shock, and the frenzied beat of your heart.

He smiled before his eyes did, and shifted on top of your covers, getting to his feet. Dressed casually in a white t-shirt and a loose pair of sweatpants, as though he’d been lounging around your house the entire day... as though he lived here.

“W-what are you doing here?”  You choked out.

His eyebrows furrowed, and his hold on the little creature relaxed, who remained for just a moment, mewing once before jumping off his lap, brushing by your legs that felt as though they would start shaking any moment, and then promptly sauntered out of the room.

“You didn’t tell me you had a cat,” Satoru remarked, now sitting with legs criss-crossed on the bed, hair mussed and relaxed, and with affect as bright as a child on his first sleepover. He patted the space on the bed next to him, beckoning you to come sit. “Did you have a good day?”

“Gojo, please get out of my house.”

His expression darkened for just a moment before it returned to its natural cheeriness. He patted the space next to him again.

“You must be tired. I can make you something. Tea?”

Your feet were glued to the ground, neither advancing nor retreating.

“P-please leave,” you repeated, more wary this time. Your hands were starting to shake and you watched his eyes flicker to them, then back to your eyes.

“Why would I do that?” He said, tilting his head ever so slightly.

His eyes bore into yours and you felt your stomach turn.

“Don’t you like my attention?”

“Satoru, please,” you continued, your lower lip wobbling inadvertently. “Please, just leave... I won’t tell anyone you came here, just... I can’t return whatever feelings you have, so just go.”

Your fists clenched and unclenched, but you still were so tense, planted onto the floor as though you were a sharp dagger thrust into vulnerable flesh. Why weren’t your feet moving? You should be running. Running as far as you can from this man who could just as easily become a monster if he so pleased.

As though he knew you’d already become powerless - not that it made a difference, the power differential was already so vast - he rose, walking towards you in an open, unguarded stance. He wasn’t afraid of you in the least. The very thought made your blood boil.

Once he stood before you, towering over your shorter, smaller frame, his lips pursed.

“Stop shaking.”

It was a command, given in an annoyed but direct fashion.

You don’t know why you eked out, powerlessly, “I can’t.”

“You weren’t this afraid when you were telling me to fuck off a couple days ago,” he noted. His hand rose to grip your chin, tilting your face to him. You don’t know when you’d started crying, but tears were now streaming down your face, warm and wetting his fingers.

“You’re crying? Where’s the sass you had then?”

“Please...”

Against your better wishes, his lips pressed to yours, and somehow then, your body remembered that adrenaline could also make you fight, and you did fight, thumping your hands balled into fists against his chest and his shoulders, as his hand gripped your chin tighter and his tongue forced its way down your throat. Once he’d gotten tired of your struggle, his other arm hooked around your waist, and he pulled you closer, pressing you against his body.

Your screams were muffled by his kiss as it grew deeper, and at some point, he’d decided on biting your lip painfully, drawing blood once he’d threatened you to shut the fuck up before he gave you something to cry about for real.

You remembered that the first time Gojo had kissed you, it had been soft and tender, nothing like this kiss that was violent and demanded submission; once his hand moved from its grip on your chin, it grasped your hair, fingers twisting and tugging to tilt your head back.

His lips left yours, now red and soon purple and blue, and made their way down your neck to mark them the same.

Every scream was futile, every plea for mercy fell on deaf ears.

At some point, you may have heard your cat meow for something... food? Out of sympathy? You weren’t sure, all you could think about were the painful hickeys on your collarbones and traveling down your bosom.

“I don’t know why you’re so resistant. You yourself called me selfish,” he murmured, ripping the top part of your clothing with the nonchalance with which one would peel a banana. At the sight of your exposed breasts, he was like a man rabid, slamming you backwards into the wall without much regard for head injury. His left arm caged you in, while his right pressed painfully onto your breast.

He paused for a moment, and grinned salaciously.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that~! You look so docile... it’s weird coming from you.”

To that, a fire renewed in your eyes, and you spat directly in his face. His lips curled again in satisfaction, barely reacting to the spittle dripping down his pretty features.

“Fuck you.”

“I will.”

With a small chuckle, he jerked your face painfully to the left such that you couldn’t look at him directly as he took your breast into his mouth.

The idea of this bastard suckling on you, loudly, lewdly as though you’d belonged to him only made the churn in your stomach worse, but the desperate attempts to a knee to his chest were met with barely a resistance. Like he knew you couldn’t hurt him and it was only a matter of time until you stopped and succumbed to him.

The process was already happening - you could feel your nipples hardening and a new flow of heat in your panties. Your tears became more prolific - no longer fear, but rage, but the hand that kept you steady against the wall was impossibly strong.

Your head swam as a confused pleasure started to replace the pain and fear you were feeling. More clothing was torn off of you, more of your skin was marked and licked and sucked. Once your panties were ripped to shreds, he lay your now languid and fight-drained body against him, cooing appreciatively at the new helplessness, pumping two slender fingers up and down your wet inner core as he moved you from the hard wall to the soft bed.

You almost thanked him.

His fingers remained within you as he laid you down, but once he withdrew his touch as your pounding hazy head hit the pillow, he replaced them with the roughness of his tongue, penetrating you without the least bit of shame.

You let slip the moan you had been holding in in defiance.

“That’s it, baby, let me hear you.”

He continued to lick and you continued to mewl.

Once he’d tired of the taste of your cunt, he invaded your privacy in the most all-encompassing way possible, pushing every inch of a greedy, throbbing cock inside of you. As you cried from the stretch, he shushed you with a hand clasped over your mouth to muffle your screams.

As if someone was going to help you. Maybe your cat would come and watch, but he’d found something else to do.

“I know it hurts but you’ll get used to it, I promise, babe,” he murmured, groaning slightly as he seated himself to the hilt. “There.”

He stilled and in the silence of the moment only punctuated by both of your soft pants, you remembered how to sob.

His nose crinkled, and he let out of a soft sigh, cock jerking impatiently inside you.

“Why are you so stubborn?” He mused, leaning against you so that his head rested in the softness of your breasts. He could hear your heartbeat that doesn’t beat for him... but rather it did, because he is the one making it quicken in some odd rhythm of terror and pleasure.

You didn’t speak because there was far, far too much to yell.

As though a timer had rung to mark the end of his empathy, he rose onto his hands again, sighing as he adjusted into the plushness of your walls that didn’t reject him as fervently as you did. He moved, shoving two fingers down your throat to gag your renewed protests as he thrust into you repeatedly.

The short gasps with every stroke only encouraged him, and the immense pleasure he found in the light of your eyes starting to fade into a placid dullness.

“You love me,” he informed you with every rut.

You didn’t answer.  

You weren’t sure what this disgusting repetitive sensation bringing your body to climax was. You were no longer sure what he was even talking about, just that there was a warm thing pumping inside of you and fingers down your throat and pain everywhere else in your body, particularly your neck and shoulders and arms and breasts, and you were staring into precious sapphires littering the base of twin lakes.

“You love me,” he repeated. “I know you do.”

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #yandere gojo #yandere gojo x reader #tw noncon #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo sm #not sfw #gojo smut #mae.drabble #mae.writing

[wonderfilworld]

Midnight

Remus Lupin x reader. It’s just a lovesick Remus eating you out, lol.

a/n: another soft smut because you guys seem to love those (as do I). 

word count: 2.6k

warnings/contains: NSFW!! smut: oral (fem receiving); kissing; cursing. If I missed anything let me know!

Masterlist  

The only sound heard in the room was the sharp turning of pages every few minutes and the sound of your boyfriend’s hand running softly along your thigh. It’s late and the only source of light is from the lamp on the nightstand of your bedroom. Remus is laid on his back, knees bent as you sit beside him, backed propped on his thighs. Your right elbow rests on his stomach as you hold a book in your hands.

You’re so content in this moment, can feel the steady rise and fall of Remus’ chest as he breathes, can feel the way his hand softly trails up and down the side of your thigh, occasionally letting his nails drag along the skin erupting goosebumps in their wake, and he lets his hand wander absent-mindedly under the fabric of your sheer nightgown every so often. 

Remus has his eyes closed, a whisper of a smile on his face as he basks in your presence. Quality time is definitely one of his love languages, and he feels like if there is a heaven, this is it. You read the novel in your head, lips moving every so often as you move along the pages. 

The book is a muggle one, about some man who tries to recreate life, but his creation turns out to be a monster. It’s certainly a strange book, but you’re so engrossed in it that you can’t seem to put it down, keep telling yourself one more chapter but you’ve said that for the last four chapters and here you are still reading. In the back of your head, you’re aware that it’s approaching midnight, that Remus may want to get some sleep sometime soon, but surely if that was the case he would tell you, so you keep reading. 

Remus, on the other hand, is not tired. He enjoys these quiet moments when he can be with you, be in your presence, and he looks at you; you are so beautiful to him in this moment. You’re beautiful to him in every moment, actually, but something as simple as this - the fact that you’re comfortable enough with him, love him enough to just sit and read a book in your bed while he watches you, makes him feel like the luckiest man alive. He looks at your face; the slope of your nose and the way your hair is slightly messy but it adds to the look; the way your lips move every so often as you mouth the words on the page; the way your neck is exposed and the way he can see your shoulders due to the spaghetti straps on your nightgown. 

Speaking of nightgown, Remus lets his eyes wander lower and he can see the outline of your breasts beneath it. Your sleep attire does nothing to hide them, really, and not that he minds - he would look at you all day if he could. He can see how your nipples poke through the fabric, and he resists the urge to bring his hand up and run his thumbs over them, can picture the way your back arches when he does so, and can practically hear the pretty sighs that leave your mouth. His mouth waters and he wants to lean forward, wants to capture them one by one between his lips, lick and suck them until you’re a whining mess, wants to put you on his thigh so you can get the friction you’ll be begging for between your legs.

But, you’re busy, and he can tell you’re fully invested in the novel. He’s read Frankenstein before of course, it’s one of his favorites. He’s aware of the time and thinks that he would be doing you a favor really, telling you to put down the book so you can get your beauty sleep. He’s more than willing to help you relax, and if you say you’re not tired he’s definitely willing to help you get there; would let you lie there, all pretty, reading your scary book as his head is buried between your thighs. He desperately wants to feel the way they shake in his grasp as he holds you down, desperately wants to hear the way your moans grow louder and louder as you get closer and closer to cumming. 

You turn a page, and you feel Remus’ hands glide up your arms and slip his fingers under the straps of your nightgown and he tugs them down your arms so quickly you don’t have time to think. Your breasts are exposed, hard nipples begging to be put between his lips. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, and you close the book around your thumb, looking to your boyfriend. But he’s not looking at you - well not looking at your face. His eyes are trained downward, taking in the way your breasts moved due to his sudden movements. He’s hungry now - the beast inside not allowing him to ignore his desires anymore. 

“Just keep reading,” is all he says, and he brings both hands to either breast. He cups them, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

You huff, but do as he says, opening your book back up to find where you left off. It’s very hard to keep reading about this poor man and his awful life, especially when you feel Remus’ thumbs swipe over your nipples. You shiver, but try your best to not give him a reaction. 

But he felt the way your body reacts to his touch and it fuels him to keep going. He can hear your breath hitch every time his thumbs pass over the sensitive buds, and when he makes a particularly hard swipe, he can feel the way your body twitches. He returns to just massaging your breasts, molding them in his palm, and squeezing them. He absolutely loves your tits, is fucking obsessed with them. 

You’re no longer reading now, just staring at the page as you refuse to look at your boyfriend. He loves to hear you beg, to hear you tell him how much you want him, but you’re not giving in this time. He wants you to keep reading, so that’s all he’ll get from you. 

It’s not until Remus returns his attention back to your sensitive nipples, rubbing his thumbs in circles, mimicking the way he would your clit, that you’re breathing has picked up and you can feel the tension grow between your thighs. You can feel the slick that’s between your folds and sooner than later it’ll become apparent to Remus if it isn’t already - damn his lycanthrope senses. 

But it feels so good, his thumbs applying the perfect amount of pressure over the stiff peaks of your breast before he brings his index finger up and pinches them firmly.

That tears a gasp from your throat, and you drop the book as your head falls back on your shoulders because he keeps pinching them, rolling your nipples between his forefingers and thumbs. 

This makes Remus extremely happy; the little gasps that leave your throat on every breath, especially the sharp, louder one, that escapes you as he tugs them, makes him fill with pride. He loves seeing you like this - head back, filled with pleasure because of him - and yes, he can smell the arousal between your legs, and he very desperately wants to taste it on his tongue. 

He keeps abusing your poor nipples, relishing in the way your moans grow louder and more desperate as he pinches and tugs. Your book is long forgotten now, thrown to the side as you keep your back arched so your boyfriend can keep playing with your tits. 

Your eyes are closed, so you don’t see him when he leans forward and captures your left nipple between his lips. He flicks his tongue over the bud and then he sucks and lets his teeth tease them slightly. 

You gasp and bring your hand to thread through his hair as he continues to lap at your breast. Your core is aching for attention now, you want to reach down and touch yourself but you know Remus doesn’t like when you do, doesn’t like when “you touch what isn’t yours without permission.” 

Remus switches to give your right nipple the same treatment, replacing his mouth on the left one with his fingers to continue playing with it. You whine, thrust your breasts into his face even more as you whimper, “Remus.” He hums, mouth still nibbling at your tit.

You whine again, “please touch me.” But you know you weren’t specific enough, can almost anticipate when he says:

“I am touching you, baby.” His mouth has finally taken mercy on your nipple, wet and raw from his biting. He leans up to then capture your lips between his own, a messy, wet kiss where you waste no time licking into his mouth. Your hand is still in his hair, pulling, desperate for him to go lower, to kiss you everywhere. 

You sigh in exasperation, you’re so riled up and you don’t appreciate his teasing, why can’t he just give you what you want? 

He gives your left nipple a particularly hard pinch, and you whimper as he snarks, “Don’t get an attitude with me, little girl.” 

You look at him and try to give him your best puppy dog eyes, your bottom lip is jutted out into a pout, and you bring your hands to cup his face as you speak, “Help me.”

His eyes soften at your helpless expression, at the ways your eyes round out as you look at him in desperation. He wants to keep egging you on; wants you to beg, but he also wants to finally get to taste the slick that he just knows has seeped through your panties.

So, he instructs you to lie down, doesn’t even glance at your wet panties as he slides them down your legs as he’s too busy devouring your mouth, licking all over. He licks along your jaw, your neck, your chest, and then returns his mouth to your breasts that are still exposed from earlier. You arch your back, moans slipping past your lips as you run your hands through Remus’ hair. 

He has one leg between your own, and he presses his knee up against your needy cunt. Your hips shoot up at the contact, and normally you would be more embarrassed by shamelessly humping your boyfriend’s thigh, but you’re so turned on that all you can feel is the sparks of pleasure that shoot through your body every time your clit rubs against the fabric of Remus’ sweatpants. 

Remus pulls back from your tits, removes his leg from your pussy, and groans at the wet spot that’s on his sweats. He moves down your body to lie between your spread thighs. You are dripping; your folds are glistening in the low light of the room, and he can see how more of your arousal comes out as you move your hips up again, silently begging him to touch you. 

He brings his hands to your core, uses his thumbs to open you up. You squirm; it’s embarrassing, having him look at your most intimate parts like this - like he’s just examining you - but you suddenly can’t think anymore as he places a firm kiss on your clit, then wraps his lips around it and sucks. 

You moan loudly, your cunt is extra sensitive from Remus teasing. You can hear the sound his mouth makes as he sucks and it makes you moan again. He groans around your clit; he’s been waiting to taste you, and now that he has you, he’s eating you out like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to. 

“Remus,” you say. You’re gasping for breath, and Remus is holding you down - there’s no way for you to move as his strong arms are wrapped around your thighs, hands pressed flat against your mound, pulling it taut to expose more of you to him as his tongue slides up and down your cunt. He hums, and it causes you to jerk again, one of your hands holding his hair firmly in your grasp, the other is cupping your tit, squeezing the plush fat and pinching your nipple as Remus sucks at your clit again. “Oh, fuck” you pant. 

He breaks away at that, knowing you’re close, can feel the way your pussy clenches around his tongue as he thrusts it in and out. His thumb takes over rubbing your clit as he speaks, “gonna cum for me, baby?” His voice is husky, and it sends a shiver down your spine as it arches once more, your thighs beginning to shake as your orgasm approaches. 

“Uh-huh,” you say, not able to form appropriate words as you’re too busy focusing on the way his thumb presses hard against your clit, tongue licking your fluttering hole as he pushes inside once more. He groans as he feels your walls clench around him in time with the swipes of his thumb. 

You look down at him, at the way his eyes are closed in contentment, and your mouth drops open as you moan deeply. Your breathing picks up, fighting hard to keep your eyes open as you watch your boyfriend fuck you with his tongue. “Oh, please,” you whine as Remus speeds up the circles he’s rubbing against your clit. 

Remus looks up at you then, and that’s what does it for you, the image of your boyfriend tongue-fucking you as he stares into your eyes is burned in your mind as your orgasm racks through your body. 

Remus groans as he feels you cum, your taste flooding his sense ten-fold as your cunt clenches around his tongue. He wants to take a picture - wants to remember this moment so he could show you how amazing you look when you cum: head thrown back, eyes shut tightly as your open mouth releases moan after moan. 

He brings his mouth back up to your clit to suck on it to prolong your orgasm as much as possible. Your hand has a tight grip in his hair but he doesn’t mind, knows you need something to ground you in this moment. 

“Holy shit,” you whisper as you look back down to your boyfriend. You find his eyes still on you, sucking at your bundle of nerves that is entirely too sensitive right now - so you push his head away, listen to the way his mouth pops off your messy pussy. 

He kisses his way back up your body and once he’s hovering over your face you open your mouth, and Remus understands what you want, brings the saliva in his mouth to his lips, and spits into your waiting mouth. He barely gives you time to swallow before he crashes his lips onto yours. 

“I love you so much,” you say as you pull away; breathless. You look into each other’s eyes as your chest heaves up and down, the remnants of your orgasm still coursing through you.

Remus pecks your lips softly, staying close to them as he returns the sentiment. “I love you, too. So much.” 

“I’m tired now,” you say, and Remus laughs softly.

He smiles at you adoringly, “Let’s go to sleep, then.” 

You nod, and Remus kisses you one last time. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight,” you say.

He slides off of you, reaches over, and turns off the lamp. 

#remus lupin #remus lupin smut #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin one shot #harry potter smut #marauders smut #marauders fluff #marauders era fic #marauders #marauders imagine #harry potter imagine #remus lupin angst #harry potter imagines #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fluff #remus lupin aesthetic #remus lupin imagines #marauders imagines

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you're doing fine....I love your fanfictionss just too much and *adorable addition* is just my top favorite atory of yours😍😍😍. Yesterday you said i could make a request too so i was wondering if you can take in a request??😅😅 which is a Steve Rogers x reader request, which I had in mind for a long long time...I have made this request to some authors before but some of them never responded or just weren't interested in writing it so you can too decline but hear me out please😅😅... Ok so here goes nothing....

**Steve and reader being in an arranged marriage and steve is very rude towards the reader and would blame her, that due to their marriage he is not with peggy and how she irritates him, but still the reader did sweet things for him, made him food, tried to make him happy and tried to make their marriage work...but one day when she has enough of all the hurt, she stop doing stuff for steve and starts ignoring him..and also steve sees that peggy didn't love him but only his status as Captain America and was happy with someone else..then he realises his mistake and felt bad for treating his wife poorly...he tries to make up things with her but she now ignores him...His team members berate him for ignoring his wife and he gets jealous seeing someone else making a move on her.....and now he has to work his ass off to win back his wife...And can you end it with a happy ending and can it be long also? please🥺🥺

Arrange Marriage (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it and I am open to more requests.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: Steve and you are married because the government wants Captain America to be a family ma. Steve is not happy with the arrangement and thinks he is in love with Peggy. You try to make your marriage work but he insults you every chance he gets. However, everything works out eventually.

Warnings: Angst but eventual fluff.

._._._._.

"I prepared some dinner for you," You spoke out when you saw your husband rushing towards his room. That's right, his room. Even though you were married for about a month now, you have never been in the same room for more than ten minutes.

"I am not hungry." He was quick to dismiss you and went straight to his room. You just looked at the muddy footsteps that were the only evidence that Steve was here. He was on one of his missions with your dad, Nick Fury. Your step dad, actually, because he rescued you from one of hydra base camps when you were eight years old. Those times were something that you have repressed in your mind and you would never think about them.

A few tears escaped your eyes when you kept all of the untouched food in the fridge which you spent hours preparing. You understood that you were not your husband's first choice but you both had an obligation to try to make it work. But lately, it was like you were all alone in this relationship and you felt so worthless.

Wiping the tears away, you made your way to the master bedroom because you had enough. If years of therapy have taught you anything, it is that no one had the right to make you feel that way. "Come in!" His pissed off voice filtered through the door and you took a shaky breath before entering.

"Hi. I just wanted to say that I prepared all of your favorite food and you didn't even look at it." You spoke timidly.

"I told you I was not hungry." He said from the changing closet and came out in his sweats. Looking tired was something not new for Captain America now a days and everyone at work was also starting to notice the change. "Why are we pretending to be like a normal, married couple?"

"Why can't we be one? I am trying here." He looked anywhere but at you because he knew that he would see those damp eyes. That was enough to make him feel guilty and he wanted to prevent that.

"You know why. I am in love with Peggy." The most hurtful thing that your life partner can say to you and Steve just did without taking your feelings into account.

"Then you could have said something before we got married." Panic was slowly setting in because you realised that you were stuck in a marriage that is never going to work out.

"The whole government was pushing me towards this marriage and Peggy was still not ready for that kind of commitment. I was stuck with you." Steve knew that the statement hurt you the moment the words escaped his lips. This was a revelation that rocked your world. And not in a great way, might you add. "You could have rejected the proposal."

"Do you think it was that simple for me? Dad has done so much for me and this was the one thing that he asked off me so I did not refuse. I thought that you agreed to this marriage and we could work it out in the future." Those dreams were being crushed right now and you knew that this marriage was doomed. It was like a hit to your gut and you felt caged in this room with your husband.

"Well, we can not." Leaving the room, you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep because there was nothing else you could add to that conversation.

After sometime, Steve came out of his room and made his way towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he took out the food to heat it up and realised that you made all of his favorite food. He was never going to admit it but he loved your cooking. Every night he comes in to the kitchen to eat all the food that you prepared for him. However, he realised that you didn't eat any of the food so you probably went to bed hungry. The guilt was eating him up and he felt helpless because he wanted to think that he didn't care about you. But sometimes, you don't even realise when a person is warming their way into your heart.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Steve was home today and you were going out of your mind with boredom so you thought of asking him for some company.

"I am not in the mood." He was quick to dismiss the idea and turned around in the hallway while still scrolling through his phone.

"I just thought-"

"You thought nothing. Why are you so clingy? I told you I do not want to work on this relationship. You are the reason that I can not be with the love of my life. Please just leave me alone.” He rudely interrupted you because he was not in the mood to interact with anyone. Seeing a picture of Peggy on instagram, he became aware of the fact that he could not be with her because he is a married man now.

Peggy Carter had been the first person that he saw when he woke up from the ice after 40 years. She helped him to become Captain America and she was the most important person in his eyes. Those few months were really difficult for Steve but she helped him get through them. Peggy quickly became his girlfriend and when the councilmen wanted him to get married, he was quick to propose. But she told him that she was not ready to take that step and she backed off. He was still pining over her and it was not fair to blame you for everything but he needed to do that to make himself feel better.

“I am sorry.”

“(Y/N)-” You left before he could say anything else. There is only so much a person can tolerate.

Over the course of a few days, Steve noticed that you were indeed leaving him alone. You were not there to welcome him home when he got back from his missions and give him a massage even after he told you not to. You did not cook from him anymore and he really missed it. He loved the fact that you always made his favorites and you never even had to ask him. You haven’t talked to him since the night he yelled at you. Guilt was an emotion that he often felt whenever he saw you.

“So there is a charity event that we both are invited too. It’s black tie optional.” He leaned against the door as he watched you doing laundry.

“Okay, I will be ready.” These were the only five words that you have said to him in the past two weeks and they were not enough. He has missed you and your conversations. The house was too quiet now a days and he didn’t like it one bit. But he was too stubborn to be the one to break the wall.

“You have to wear a dress. Many people will be watching you because you are Captain America’s wife so please do not go with your sense of style.” He wanted to slap himself in the face when he saw you freeze. Why couldn’t he just have said something nice to her? Steve didn’t know how to talk to you without messing it up.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the room and sulked in his bedroom for the remaining day.

You were never going to say it out loud, but you were really hurt by what he said today and that day. None of it was your fault and you have been thinking about ending this marriage. However, the thing was that you made a commitment and you were never the one to back out from things. You quickly finished doing the laundry and went to take a shower.

“Are you ready?” Steve fixed his bow tie before you opened the room and he was left speechless. You in a red dress with a slit running through the side was a side of you that he had never seen. So bold and outgoing.

“Yes. Just let me quickly apply my lipstick.” Watching you apply a red lipstick left him in a trance. His wife was truly something unique but he just ignored it. Shaking himself out of it, he thought about Peggy and how he loves her. You both left afterwards and the car ride was quiet with the exception of a few stolen glances.

‘We have to go hand in hand and smile for the red carpet.”

“Okay.”

You were always a little scared to walk in to these kinds of events and so you tightly clutched on to your husband’s arm. Steve knew that you were a little bit of an introvert so he squeezed your hand in response.

“I am going to go meet some councilmen.”

“I’ll be by the bar.” Making your way towards the makeshift bar, you ordered a martini and just sat there mixing your drink. On the other hand, Steve made polite talk with the councilmen and then excused himself to the washroom. He heard someone mention his name on his way to the washroom and that piqued his interest.

“Come on, I was never in love with Steve. He was my assignment from the S.H.I.E.L.D and that was it. I had to help Captain America adjust to this life.  I love you, Oliver and that is a fact.” Steve quickly left before he could hear anything else.

Honestly, he couldn’t believe that all those months spent with Peggy were just a lie and he was ruining his marriage because of her. He thought that it would hurt a lot but it was kind of a relief. He was now realising that he was never in love with her. It was kind of an obligation for him because he thought that he somehow owed it to Penny. But he didn’t and now he can finally give his marriage a fair try and not feel guilty about it.

“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing at a bar all alone?” Turning around, you saw Bucky with a smile adorning his face.

“Hi. It’s been such a long time since I last saw you.” You hugged your friend because he was one of the people that you were close to. You actually missed him in these past few months and were glad to see him right now. Getting in to a conversation was way easier than you thought.

“Hey Buck. What are you doing?” Your husband was quick to place his hands on the small of your back and you silently choked on his intimate gesture.

“I am fine, Stevie. Just catching up with (Y/N).”

“Oh okay. Would you mind if I take my wife to the dance floor?”

“No worries.” Silently taking you to the middle of the room, you both got to dancing and your breath hitched when he was so close to you right now. His cologne had taken over all your senses and you were drunk on him. God, it was pathetic but you could not help yourself.

“I want to try to work on our marriage.” You didn’t know if you were hearing things right now so you muttered a silent, “Come again.” He silently chuckled and repeated the sentence again. Looking at him, you stopped dancing and left the room.

“Why did you leave?” He found you at the balcony just staring at the stars with your hands wrapped around yourself. “It’s freezing.”

“Why? Why would you say something like that?” You whispered silently.

“I mean it. I want to try.”

“Don’t you love Peggy?”

“I have realised that I didn’t love her. It was like an obligation to me and I like you.”

“I can’t do this. You insulted me every chance you got and you made me think so low of myself.”

“I know and I am so sorry for that. I will spend my life apologising to you for it. Please, give me a chance.” There were some tears in your eyes and everything was becoming blurry.

“I can’t do that. I will always be your second choice.”

“No, you are not. Trust me, I have had feelings for you but I have been trying to repress them from the very start.” He tried to touch you but you took a step back.

“If we try this relationship thing out, will you promise me that you will tell me when you want to get out. We can get divorced right then and there.”

“I don’t want to be divorced and I will spend my life making it up to you.” He was quick to kiss you and it was way better than your wedding ceremony kiss. “I like you, (Y/N).”

“I like you too, Steve.” You went in to kiss him again and were glad that this marriage was going to work.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I love Captain America and I was happy to write a fanfiction about him. If you guys have any more request, I will be happy to write about them and message me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile 

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._.

#rachelleblodgettwrites #my writing #writing community #tumblr writing #tv shows #dad chris evans #chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans fanfiction #captain america #steve rogers #steve rogers angst #steve rodgers x reader #steve rogers one shot #chris evans imagine #steve rogers blurb #dad steve rogers #marvel #marvel mcu #avengers #my imagination