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xiaomoxu · 3 years

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Lucien - Interlaced Date

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

A date from CN server which hasn’t been released on EN server yet. Might contains some spoiler.

🦋 Also from this date: Call

Story under the cuts~

At the beginning of the evening, the lights were on, and the stars were looming in the clouds.

I am standing at the door of a newly opened mall. Under the floating dome, there are many stacked square buildings, which makes people suddenly think that they have come to the art museum.

MC: It should be right here.

Not long ago, I saw a shopping mall integrated with art on the Internet. It cooperated with different artists to create various themed activities.

The theme this time is "interlacing".

I am very interested in this topic, so I decided to see it for myself

Following the signs, I walked into a dark rectangular room.

The center of the room was divided into two spaces by a matte glass. People who entered moved forward in a line, but they could not see the scene on the other side clearly.

Tourist A: The person on the other side can't see clearly, what does this room mean?

Tourist B: I can't understand, this may be art.

I followed their words and couldn't help but look across the glass...

The line of sight was full of fuzzy outlines, and I could only vaguely tell that the flow of people on the opposite side was passing in the opposite direction to us. I can't help but fall into thinking.

Is this design to highlight the "interlaced feeling"?

Until, a familiar figure on the other side suddenly pulled my thoughts back.

The vague outlines, however, stand out in a crowd of indistinct crowds.

It seems to be Lucien... why is he here?

Countless doubts poured into my heart, I couldn't help speeding up and approaching that figure.

Even though there is a crowd on the opposite side, his gestures are familiar.

He walked forward in the group methodically, but revealed a state of being free from the crowd.

It seems that only Lucien can give people this feeling.

With a faint answer in my heart, I raised my hand and waved at him.

He seemed to have noticed something too, he stopped and glanced in my direction.

Even through the glass, I can feel the indifferent gaze, as if I'm just an inconspicuous stranger.

I stopped, and my smile stiffened. Only that back figure continued to move forward, farther and farther away from me.

MC: ....Didn't he recognize me?

Tourist: Don't stop, keep going.

Some dissatisfied voices came from behind, and I nodded apologetically and walked forward.

The images that had just been interlaced kept playing repeatedly in my mind. I looked back a little unwillingly.

Even though the crowds were bustling, I found the back figure just now again.

Suddenly he stopped, turned and looked in my direction.

The glass reflected his fuzzy face, and I couldn't help but squint to see him more closely.

In the dimness, I seemed to see a soft arc rising from the indifferent face.

Is he... smiling at me?

I opened my lips slightly to say something, but was squeezed out of the room again by the person behind me.

My sight suddenly became bright, but I was a little dumbfounded.

??: What a coincidence, I can meet you here.

A familiar voice rang behind me, making me startled.

Lucien walked up to me and smiled lightly at me.

Lucien: You look surprised.

Lucien: Do you think I will not be here?

Looking at Lucien in front of me, I suddenly realized something was wrong.

The space just now was two reverse one-way streets, it was impossible for him to suddenly appear in front of me from the opposite exit.

MC: It's not that you won't show up. Because just now in that room, I saw a figure that looked like you.

MC: But if it is really you, it is impossible to appear here from the other exit so quickly.

Lucien looked at the exit behind me, as if lost in thought and lowered his eyes.

After a while, he raised his head with a smile in his eyes.

Lucien: I think you didn’t mistaken me as the other person.

Lucien: It is indeed me in that room, but what you see is not who I am now.

Listening to some circumstantial words, I couldn't help but frown.

MC: ... Not who you are now?

Lucien: Well, it was me fifteen minutes ago.

MC: You mean we were not in the same time and space just now. Could it be the influence of Evol?

I couldn't help straightening my back instinctively and quickly sweeping around.

The next second, a shadow was covered in the afterglow, Lucien leaned down and looked at me.

Lucien: Are you tired recently, Miss Nox?

Lucien: This is just an ordinary shopping mall, there is no work that Miss Nox has to deal with.

Seeing Lucien pretending to be serious, I smiled awkwardly.

MC: .... What does "you who were fifteen minutes ago" mean?

Lucien pointed to the stand that was less than two meters away from me at the exit.

Lucien: The room you just passed by is actually an artistic design

Lucien: The room is full of holographic projections, and the other side of the glass you see is a picture fifteen minutes ago.

Listening to Lucien's explanation, I looked at the art brief on the stand.

MC: So what we see is actually not what is actually happening right now.

MC: Let us mistakenly think that the barriers of glass cannot be overlapped, but in fact...

MC: Not only are we unable to intersect, we are not even in the same space and time.

Lucien: Probably this room wants to create a sense of interlacing time and space for us.

Lucien nodded in agreement, but different emotions flashed in his eyes.

Lucien: However, MC could recognize me through the matte glass, which made me feel very happy.

Lucien: It's a pity that I'm not so lucky, and I didn't see you on the other side of the glass.

Lucien spoke lightly, but knocked again and again in my heart.

The smile on his face inadvertently gradually overlaps with the memory of me just in the room.

When Lucien stood there, he seemed to smile like that.

What did he see fifteen minutes ago?

Doubts creeped into my heart, I couldn't help but speak.

MC: Lucien, I seemed to see you smiling in the room just now.

MC: Did you see something?

Lucien seemed to be taken aback, but soon returned to his expression.

Lucien: It's nothing.

Lucien: There are also many exhibit designs related to themes. Would you like to go to other areas with me?

Seeing that he didn't want to start the topic, I had no choice but to agree.

Lucien and I walked side by side in the shopping mall. Except for the rooms just now, the atriums on each floor of the building have different designs.

Paintings, photographs, sculptures, and installations of different carriers all unify the interplay of time and space, emotions, and life.

I looked at Lucien, who was quiet beside me, and couldn't help approaching him.

MC: By the way, why did you come here?

Lucien: I am here to be entrusted by a person to give some non-professional advice as a viewer.

Lucien: What about you?

MC: I'm very interested in this "interlaced" theme, so I came to have a look.

Lucien nodded thoughtfully, and none of us spoke for a while, just moved forward quietly.

The crowd passed by our side, heading in the same or opposite direction as us.

Probably because of the countless designs that express "missing" just now, I can't help feeling a little about such a simple and ordinary picture.

MC: Lucien, what are you trying to convey when designing such a theme?

Lucien's gaze was mixed with a bit of unsure emotion, and after my voice fell, he cast it slightly.

Lucien: I think it is probably "missing is inevitable."

Lucien: Whether in invisible or visible places, we will miss many people and many things.

Lucien: But people's lives will not stay for this reason, it will only continue to move forward.

Lucien's voice was so calm, it gently penetrated into my ears, and the memory of me just now confided again.

The fuzzy face reflected in the glass, the stagger of strangers, and Lucien after fifteen minutes of time and space.

He is clearly in front of me, but I am not in front of him.

And when I thought he was in front of me, he was actually that far away.

MC: But no one wants to miss out with those who are important to them.

MC: Even if there is only the slightest possibility, I would like to keep overlapping with this trajectory.

Countless images flashed in my eyes, and finally they all converged on Lucien's face in front of me. He didn't seem to expect me to say something like this, he looked at me deeply.

Lucien: In the room where space-time interlaced just now, when we "miss", did you think the same way?

MC: Of course!

I spoke subconsciously. After seeing his narrow vision, I suddenly realized what I had just said, and my ears instantly burned.

MC: No, no! I didn't know the installation in this room at the time.

MC: So when you passed by and didn't recognize me, made me feel a little weird.

Immediately afterwards, Lucien's smile became full again, and he moved closer to me.

Lucien: Oh? Is it weird because you think I won't recognize you?

Looking at the teasing smile in his eyes, I understood at once that he was secretly "teasing" again.

I lifted my chin slightly and fought back without a trace.

MC: Well, if it is just an ordinary room, and there is also a thick glass of glass between us...

MC: Will Professor Lucien recognize me like I recognize you?

Suddenly, Lucien couldn't even hide the smile at the corner of his mouth.

Lucien: I will not make judgments lightly on things that have not actually happened.

MC: ..... Professor Lucien has always been very rigorous.

We walked forward slowly, unknowingly, the two branch roads in front stopped us.

Lucien: However, this theme is relatively tender compared to others.

MC: Tender?

Lucien: "Interlacing" proves that there will be intersections, not "parallel".

Lucien: So that I can meet you here.

Lucien's faint words caused ripples in my heart.

Bits and pieces of the past between me and Lucien came to mind, indeed like what he said.

Although there have been misunderstandings or regrets between us, those moments that seem to be disappointing also represent...

We have intersections with each other.

I looked at a sign in the middle of the fork--

"It is recommended that people with more than two people walk separately and experience the interlaced theme for better experience."

After seeing the explanation on the sign, I couldn't help looking at Lucien beside me.

Lucien: It seems that "interlacing" is not over yet.

Lucien: What will you choose next, MC?

He looked calmly at the bifurcation, as if he had an idea in his mind.

MC: My answer...Professor Lucien should have known it earlier than me, right?

I looked at Lucien deeply, then we smiled at each other and walked in two directions respectively.

I did not look back, and walked firmly on the path I chose.

Because I believe that no matter which direction we go, we will meet eventually.

I can't remember how many turns or steps I took. It seems that this road is far longer than I thought.

I passed by countless strangers, but I never saw Lucien's figure.

Until I crossed a bend, my vision suddenly became clear.

Looking around, I seem to be standing in the middle of the outer courtyard of a shopping mall, and in front of me there is an open-air double escalator that looks nearly a hundred meters long.

The people standing on both sides of the escalator looked at each other, and different emotions flashed in each person's eyes.

Excitement, perseverance, indifference, and loss, all kinds of emotions bloom one after another on this long escalator.

Just as I looked down along the flow of people, a familiar figure made my heart tighten again.

Lucien stood at the bottom escalator entrance, seeming to be looking at me.

I waved my hand subconsciously, and he also raised his hand leisurely in response to me.

Looking at Lucien, who was 100 meters away from me, I suddenly understood that this escalator is also echoing the theme of "interlacing".

Once people choose a direction, they may have to watch the opposite person go against them.

But I don't want to continue staggering, I want to change.

So I immediately made a gesture to Lucien and told him not to move.

I waved my hands indiscriminately and walked quickly towards the descending escalator.

But when I just stepped up the stairs, Lucien also stepped up the elevator.

I put down my hands in a bit of astonishment, and watched us slowly approaching from a distance.

Suddenly, my phone rang--

It was Lucien's call, I quickly answered it.

MC: Didn't I tell you to stand still...

Lucien: Sorry.

Lucien: Because your gesture are really hard to guess, so I wanted to go up and find you first.

There was a soft voice on the phone, and my rushing voice gradually calmed down.

MC: Then you call...

Lucien: This elevator seems to take some time. Why don't you just chat with me for a bit?

Lucien: I don't want to miss this "blank" time with you.

The originally dull atmosphere became brisk in his slightly teasing tone.

I couldn't help laughing softly, and quickly fell into his new topic.

The billboards on both sides slowly passed behind me, and the distance between me and Lucien became closer and closer.

His face gradually became clear, and the smile in his eyes gradually bloomed.

The evening breeze gently brushed his hair, and the moonlight seemed to stay on his body and no longer walk away.

But I also realized that the moment we met each other also meant the beginning of separation.

Facing this encounter destined to be far away, I was helpless. Can only stand in place, watching us slowly arrive in front of each other.

Lucien didn't say anything, only the sound of his steady breathing was left in my ears.

At the moment when our figures were side by side, he just looked at me with a smile, and in this second, passed me by.

Lucien: MC, do you still want to know why I smiled in that room?

I turned my head and met Lucien's gaze in surprise, his eyes glowing with a soft stream.

MC: Wait, I thought you wouldn't tell me the answer.

Lucien: I thought it wasn't something important, but now I think about it, it seems I was wrong.

Lucien suddenly paused, took a deep look at me before continuing to speak.

Lucien: In that room, I didn't see anything special, only countless strange faces.

Lucien: But... I suddenly thought of you.

As soon as the voice fell, my heart couldn't help but miss a beat.

I looked at Lucien, who was already driving behind me, and my gaze was firmly locked on his gaze.

MC: Why....

Lucien: I think of such an interesting place, you should come too.

Lucien: Maybe I can see you here next time.

His figure is getting farther and farther away from me, and it seems that he will soon be overwhelmed by the flow of people behind him.

MC: Lucien, you said that if an encounter is destined to be parting, will the encounter still make sense?

Although it was only an experiment, my heart was dull, and I opened my mouth as I watched Lucien's figure gradually distancing.

Lucien: MC, do you know what will happen to us after we are interlaced?

In the blink of an eye, Lucien's figure was completely covered by the crowd, and only the faint voice of questions stayed beside his ears.

MC: I know.

I took a deep breath and hung up the phone. After a long few minutes, I finally got off the escalator.

I wandered at the elevator entrance, worried that once I got on the elevator, Lucien would choose to get off the elevator and let us miss it again.

I don't know what the answer this world will give to the question that Lucien just asked.

But I have my own answer.

I want to take the initiative to meet him again. No matter how many times we missed, I will want to meet him next time.

This idea suddenly came to my heart, but it gradually became firm.

I strode into the crowd, shuttled back and forth among countless strange figures.

I am not worried that I will miss Lucien, because I firmly believe that I can see him in the crowd.

As time passed by, the stars in the night sky seemed to become more and more brilliant.

Suddenly, at the end of the crowd, I saw the person I wanted to see most at the moment.

And he seemed to see me too and stopped.

My heart beats like a drum, and every beat prompts me to speed up my steps.

It seems that all the passersby around have become phantoms, but he is the only one who becomes clearer in my world.

MC: Lucien!

Lucien: MC, it seems that we have met again.

Lucien: This is my answer.

Suddenly Lucien smiled crookedly at the corner of his eyes. He looked at me and continued to speak.

Lucien: Separation will not be doomed, it is just a choice.

Lucien: I think, even after countless brushes, I will also choose to appear in front of you again.

The night wind gently blew his hair, revealing those deep eyes that reflected me alone.

Lucien: MC.

Lucien: I have always looked forward to every encounter with you.

Notes from me: To whoever's write Lucien’s date, I give all my respect to you. All of you. Thank you. Sincerely, Me.

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc lucien #lucien #mlqc spoilers #mlqc translation #LUCIEN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

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writethelifeyouwant · 3 years

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The Levee Broke

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Casitel

Created for: @cajunquandary / @spnkinkbingo / @anyfandomgoesbingo

Challenge Prompt: When the Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin & ‘First Encounter’ (both prompts in bold in the fic)

Bingo Square Filled: @spnkinkbingo - Impala Sex | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Car Sex

Rating: 18+

Tags: pining!Cas, first times are awkward, making out, car sex

Word Count: 2k

A/N: The idea came from the wonderful @cajunquandary ‘s challenge. Congrats again on the 600 darling! Loved all the different prompts you had 💛 This is the first time I’ve written Destiel but I know it’s one of your faves so I hope you like it! (Also unbeta’d, all mistakes are my own)

Dividers: @firefly-graphics 😘

Ao3 Link

Cas doesn’t spend a lot of time in cars these days. Since his wings got fixed up, he hasn’t needed to wander the slow path as a weary traveller, preferring to use his time more efficiently by appearing wherever he needed to be. But if Dean ever asks him to ride along, he still says yes, no hesitation.

Dean was heading North to meet up with Sam, on his way back from a hunt out West, and when he ran into Cas in the bunker on his way to the garage he’d asked if he wanted to tag along – ‘get some fresh air’ – he’d said. So, here Cas was on the passenger side of the black leather bench seat, watching the atoms of the Earth fly by his window.

“There a parade I’m missing?” Dean grunted, flicking to a new radio station when their current pick started to grow too static-y to be tolerable.

“There’s a flock of geese being followed by a flock of smaller birds flying south,” Cas observed sagely, a pleasant smile on his face. “You might think they’re using the geese for directions, but actually all birds are instinctually programmed to fly in a southern trajectory at this time of year.”

“Hm,” Dean hummed, seeming only begrudgingly interested.

“Though,” Cas’ voice cut short as a new train of thought beckoned him along, “if we were in the Southern Hemisphere, the birds would have an instinct to fly north. So I suppose, it’s not so much the cardinal direction they’re flying in, just that they know where they need to fly to.”

“Yeah,” Dean huffed, flicking the radio again and again, dissatisfied with the selection that was coming up, “where’s that, Cas?”

“Home.” Cas answered without elaboration, and returned to smiling at the geese, leaving Dean to watch the back of his head with a blank expression.

Cas didn’t need to sleep, but Dean did; and when Sam called to say he’d stopped at Jody’s to crash for the night, Dean and Cas weren’t anywhere near Sioux Falls.

“Yeah, okay,” Cas heard Dean say down the phone. “Yeah, we’ll catch you tomorrow around –” Dean glanced at Cas to catch his eye. Cas gave a quick silent nod, knowing what Dean was asking, and knowing Dean would understand his answer. “Hey, if Claire’s there, tell her Cas says hi.” Dean nodded again listening to Sam. “Yeah, okay, see you in the mañana.”

“How is Sam?” Cas questioned his companion.

“Peachy,” Dean scoffed.

“Will we be stopping for the night as well?

“Yeah eventually,” Dean shrugged and fought back a yawn that Cas didn’t miss. “I got a few more miles in me.” Dean changed the radio dial again. “God, radio in the Midwest sucks ass.”

“If you’d prefer, I have...” Cas trailed off and started to grope in the pockets of his trench coat.

“You about to flash me or something, Cas?” Dean side-eyed him. Cas pulled a dingy white cassette tape with a peeling label from one of his pockets.

“I have this,” Cas held out the tape in offering. It was the mixtape Dean had given him of his ‘Top 13 Zepp Trax’. He saw Dean’s eyes widen in the flash of headlights passing them on the country highway. “To be clear,” Cas closed his hand around the tape, recoiling, “I am not giving it back to you, I am just offering an alternative to the radio for the rest of the drive.”

Dean nodded speechlessly, something behind his eyes that Cas was familiar seeing but that he could never really identify. His fingers dragged along Cas’ palm when they retrieved the cassette, drawing unnecessarily across the whole length of his hand. Cas felt the familiar heat flood from his fingers up his arm and to his chest, wrapping his heart in glowing bands that constricted more and more tightly every time Dean touched him like this – mindlessly, casually, devoid of meaning.

Dean put the tape in and turned up the volume on the opening chords of Good Times, Bad Times. Cas was surprised to see his hand drop to the cushion of the seat between them, rather than return to the wheel. He stared at the offending fingers as if the burn they had given him was physical and not metaphorical, as if his body, and not just his heart, was on fire.

Cas pulled at his tie enough to undo his top button, and he noticed Dean glancing at him before flicking his eyes back to the road. Curiosity stirred, as Dean so frequently stirs it, he fumbled in his mind for something else to do that might give him another reaction of Dean’s to analyse. He started to tug his trench coat off his shoulders, it had been feeling uncomfortably warm since Dean had touched his hand anyhow and he’s pleased when Dean immediately registers his movement and turns towards him questioningly.

“When’s the last time you took that thing off?” Dean asked incredulously, now watching Cas rather than the road, only sparing the necessary glances to the highway in order to keep them in their lane. Cas catalogued the response, noting positively that his removing an item of clothing had more or less gained Dean’s undivided attention.

“I was beginning to feel warm,” Cas stated simply, not answering Dean’s question.

Pulling out of one sleeve and then the next, Cas realized he hadn’t thought beyond this point and now didn’t know what to do with his coat. In his internal scramble, his hands unconsciously balled up the khaki cotton and set it in the space between Dean and himself, forgetting that Dean’s hand already occupied that space.

When Cas’ hand landed on Dean’s they both blanched as if they’d been shocked, and their eyes locked in trepidation over the expanse of black leather and beige cloth between them. The opening notes of Stairway to Heaven bled through the Impala’s speakers and sank into the air, its tension thickening with each passing measure. Cas carefully set his hand atop his coat, noticeably and intentionally encroaching on Dean’s space. Dean’s hands were back on the wheel.

“Did you put this song on the tape with the intention of mocking me?” Cas asked Dean flatly, hoping his sarcasm was readable. Dean flashed him a confused look, spared another glance at Cas’ hand between them on the seat, then focused back on the road.

“I uh, I wasn’t trying to poke fun at you, man,” Dean shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “I mean, I didn’t actually uh, make, the tape for you, it was one of my old ones.”

“So, you don’t consider me a good enough friend to make a mixed tape for?” Cas kept his voice even but had to fight to keep his lips from twitching in a smirk.

“What, no!” Dean looked at Cas, offended, but then back tracked realising his words could get mis-interpreted. “No, I mean, you’re my best friend Cas, of course I would make you a tape I just - I gave you this one because it was one of my favourites. That’s why I thought you’d like it, I mean…” Dean swallowed awkwardly, looking back at Cas, likely checking he was getting through.

“So, you thought I would be interested in learning about your favourite things?” Cas prodded.

“Yes,” Dean nodded, eyes now very firmly back on the highway, and not on his best friend.

“Because you imagine I would like to know everything about you,” Cas fought to keep from smiling, “because you’re so interesting.”

“Yes - no! No that’s not what I -”

“So, it’s because you want me to know what you like so I can be a better friend?”

“What? No, Cas, that’s not-” Dean broke off when he looked at Cas and saw the wide smile he was sporting. “What?”

“I believe you humans call it a ‘joke’, Dean.” Cas tried to keep his voice emotionless, but his amusement was bubbling through.

“You winged dick,” Dean punched him on the arm and dropped his hand into the space between them, settled on top of Cas’ coat and right next to Cas’ own hand. Cas smiled triumphantly to himself.

“Sam said I needed to practice my sarcasm.”

“Yeah, well,” Dean huffed and knocked Cas’ arm again, “you suck, man.”

“Thank you.” Cas grinned brightly at Dean and earned a crinkled smile back that reached Dean’s eyes in a way Cas very rarely saw these days.

Stairway to Heaven faded into a few moments of static, and Dean held Cas’ gaze in the silence, not needing to look at the straight abandoned road in front of them to keep the Impala on course. Rhythmic drums started up, echoing through the bass speakers and propelling vibrations through the seats and into each of their bodies. The wavering, wild west notes of When the Levee Breaks rang out, and Dean reached forward to turn the volume up. When his hand returned to the space between him and Cas, their fingers were closer than they’d been a moment ago. Dean’s gaze was back to being fixed firmly forward.

Cas copied him, staring forward, and sinking into the music and stealing himself. He took his chance when the Impala sped over a pothole and knocked his fingers against Dean’s. Dean didn’t move, gaze still focused ahead. Cas hooked the tip of his little finger under Dean’s. Dean didn’t stop him.

Going down, going down now,

Going down, going down down down down down….

“Dean.” Cas stared ahead, but he could see Dean swallow thickly in his periphery. “Pull over.”

Cas is an immortal being, an incalculable number of years old, and he can remember every one of those years. But his life since he found Dean Winchester has been a blur, and the contents of the past few minutes escaped his memory entirely. All he knew is that the levee had broken, and now Dean was shirtless and on top of him in the front seat of the Impala, and all he cared about was making sure Dean never stopped kissing him.

The burning feeling that had grown at home in his chest had erupted through his whole body, and the places Dean trailed his fingers left Cas scorching. He wouldn’t be surprised if he found Dean’s handprint burned into his flesh tomorrow.

“Cas,” Dean moaned his name, and Cas felt his hands on his belt. Cas shoved himself out of his suit trousers under Dean and watched intently as Dean’s hands went to his own belt. The buckle clattered against the dashboard as Dean tugged at it violently and wriggled out of his jeans, less than gracefully.

Cas reached out and pulled Dean back to him, tangling their legs in an effort to feel every new inch of Dean at once. He trailed his hands down his arms, his back, his waist, hesitated over the curve of flesh that had teased him for so long, but then dragged his palms over the soft round of Dean’s ass and groaned, not believing how much better this felt than imagining it.

Dean echoed Cas, groaning into his mouth as Cas’ lip was sucked into his mouth and worried between his teeth. Cas shuddered and jerked his body into Dean’s involuntarily, dragging their cocks against one another.

“Fuck,” Dean whispered.

“I thought we were,” Cas deadpanned, testing his sarcasm to its limit. It was hard to maintain composure when Dean Winchester was mostly naked and grinding into you.

“Not quite yet sunshine,” Dean grinned before his face fell, only slightly. “This, I mean, it’s your first time, right?” Dean’s nerves were suddenly tangible in the cramped space of the front of his car.

“This is my first encounter with another male’s genitalia, yes,” Cas confirmed, hoping to ease Dean’s worry; they would both be new to this. What he got was Dean bursting into laughter.

“Jesus, Cas, just call it a cock, okay?” Dean pressed kisses against Cas’ neck, still laughing.

“Fine,” Cas grunted and pulled Dean up for a bruising kiss. “Then, would you please put your cock in my ass?” Cas spoke the words into Dean’s lips. Dean nodded, dumbstruck, but Cas could see the arousal he had stirred in Dean’s eyes.

“Good.”

Tags: @cajunquandary @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @whoreforackles @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @akshi8278 @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @delightfullykrispypeach

#cajunsuper600challenge #spnkinkbingo #anyfamdomgoesbingo #destiel #deancas

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humansofstarshollow · 4 years

Note

So I’ve been thinking a lot about the disappointing ending to the revival and how everyone views Rory getting pregnant as her ultimately failing at life, and that’s kind of what I thought at first too. But then I read Joy Harjo’s memoir “Crazy Brave”. She’s the current US Poet Laureate and she was a teen mom and put herself through college with two small kids and she’s an insanely successful writer and poet now. Idk I don’t think motherhood is always a career death sentence. (1/2)

(2/2) Like, what’s interesting about Gilmore girls is how Rory and Lorelei seem to switch places over the trajectory of the show. And while the ending is disappointing, sure, it shows that life and success aren’t a straight shot. It’s messy and complicated and looks different for everyone, which is a comfort. I still think Rory could go on to do amazing things and leave stars hollow and do whatever she wants. Maybe she moves back to New York. Maybe she and Jess become a power couple.

---

Oh, anon, I absolutely do not think parenthood is the end point to any career. If I've ever given this impression, well, my apologies.

I have no doubt whatsoever that many women (and men, even though i believe it's more of a mothers issue) manage to have great, successful, fulfilling careers. Having children does not necessarily involve having to give up dreams, jobs or any other kind of plan. It certainly require more efforts but it also must be twice as rewarding, when its all said and done.

The thing about this particular case, though- Rory, i mean- is that the pregnancy twist was thrown in like that, at the end, with no further development (which, i get it, the writers need loose ends to get back to in possible future seasons) after a particularly disappointing revival in which, i'm sorry to say this, Rory didn't particularly shine imho.

As i said before, Rory left in Bon Voyage with all these big plans and an actual good opportunity and that was great because after her struggles throughout s6-7 she got her shit together and landed that gig. We had a decade to imagine what had become of her, what would she be doing now, where in the world would she have moved and such and then, AYITL happened.

As you mentioned, life is unpredictable and plans hardly ever go as we hope; career paths might take sharp turns, the dream job might never come, it might take years to get even close to what we aim for and it's all just...natural. Life is like that.

So, when Rory struggled at Yale, when she dropped out for a while, when she almost gave up her journalism dreams and didn't get the fellowships she wished for, well, it was all part of her development which is extremely relatable because we all struggle, sooner or later. I admit i said before that it was disappointing to watch all that because i love Rory and i simply wanted for her to be happy and successful and become the hotshot reporter she dreamed of, period but i also realize that would have been too romanticized and simplified.

Back to the main point lol I personally don't like the pregnancy twist because AYITL Rory is kind of a lost mess and I am afraid that motherhood would be the thing that stalls her for good. I mean, she had no idea of what she wanted to do with her life, career-wise, until the very end; she had a very dissatisfying relationship (when she remembered of it lol), an affair with Logan and that one-night stand so, none of them would be a strong enough relationship to help her navigate the current challenges or even lead her anywhere. My point is, I don't want for Rory to just fall back into bad habits and stop working hard when life get messy and hard because with all of that she was going through with the addition of becoming a single parent...she doesn't exactly have the best track record when dealing with change of plans.

She certainly could do all of what you mentioned and more, no doubt whatsoever, but she would also have to work hard for that rather than, like, settling down in Stars Hollow where Lor, Luke and the whole town would help her raise the child, she'd have the job at the Gazette and all of the comfort and safety that this option would provide. And I'm not sure she'd be able to pick an alternative.

So, this is why i don't love the idea of Rory as a mother. Not yet, at least; not like that.

[wow this was a long rant lol i hope I've been clear enough. still, thank you, anon, for sharing your opinion. feel free to message me again if you wish to discuss this further. take care!]

#humansofstarshollow #humansofstarshollow personal #humansofstarshollow anon #humansofstarshollow asks #gilmore girls #rory gilmore

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jaimetheexplorer · 5 years

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PROBABILITY DISTORTION - Or why Jaime Lannister is less likely to die than you think (part 1)

I am kicking off my metas with a prickly topic that is perhaps one of the most frustrating for me to come across (and one that is pretty much impossible to avoid, these days): Jaime Lannister’s (allegedly inevitable) death. I think the reason his death is so widely accepted as inevitable is due to probability distortion. Probability distortion means that the probability of events that are unlikely is overestimated and/or the probability of events that are likely is underestimated, and the degree with which this happens is often due to individual differences and personal biases. So, for example, people who are afraid of flying overestimate the probability of dying in a plane crash, while underestimating the probability of dying in a car crash.

This is what I believe is happening with most discourse and predictions about Jaime’s fate. While present, there are actually only a handful of hints that Jaime might die in the end, and these are weighed disproportionately heavily against the substantial amount of hints to the contrary. I am NOT saying it is impossible for Jaime to die. I just believe that, if we look at the material, the probability is actually far far lower than fandom and the general audience would have you believe.

Before I get started, DISCLAIMER: While I am obviously a huge Jaime fan, I want to stop the shouts of “You just want him to live because he is your favourite” right there. No, actually. Brienne is my favourite. And, while it would break my heart, I would not feel necessarily as dissatisfied with the story if she were the one to die (see part 4 for more on this). The way I see it, death is not a punishment nor is life a prize, for a character. What matters to me is whether a death fits and makes sense for that character’s story and the ones it affects, and if it is satisfying in terms of overall style, tropes and messages. That’s the stance from which I’m analysing Jaime’s odds in this meta.

I will look at his trajectory in the story and towards the endgame from three angles (narrative arcs, the use of foreshadowing, GRRM’s writing style and story management) to explain why I think the odds of his death are highly overestimated.

When looking at narrative arcs, we have to keep in mind one thing about ASOIAF: all arcs (especially POV arcs) are important, connected and affect one another - the so called “butterfly effects”. This is not a story with one or two protagonists the story follows, and everyone else playing supporting roles (have a look here for GRRM’s take on the matter). I believe one reason why so many people distort Jaime’s endgame odds is because they look at his arc as if it were its own, standalone story. But in order to predict where it’s going to go, we need to not only look at his arc, but also at how events in his arc are going to affect and make sense with regards to OTHER POV character’s arcs (and viceversa), and particularly the two who are most closely connected to his: Cersei and Brienne.

Jaime: the man he’s meant to be

Let’s start by looking at the man in question. Jaime’s arc has three prominent themes: redemption, identity and love/family. The common point across all three is the idea of “the man he’s meant to be”, a man that is different from the one we meet at the beginning of the story.

One reason I believe predictions about his fate are skewed, is because not only too much emphasis is placed on redemption, at the expense of the other themes, but the concept of redemption most seem to have in mind is of the classic “paying for one’s crimes” variety, where the villain redeems himself at the last minute by sacrificing himself for the greater good. In Jaime’s case, the crime is (mainly) pushing Bran from the tower and the redemption comes in the form of either killing Cersei and then killing/dying himself, or dying to protect one of the “good guys”.

However, this fails to take into account the huge thematic and narrative significance of losing his sword hand - which is ironic considering that is the most iconic visual trait of Jaime’s character. 1) Jaime has *already* paid for this crime when his sword hand was chopped off, as that destroyed his life as he knew it, just like Bran losing his legs did. 2) Losing his hand is a punishment that is comparable to the crime committed (Bran lost the legs; Jaime lost his sword hand - the one he used to push him, no less), while death is rather disproportionate. 3) His redemption has *already* begun in that moment, as he saves Brienne from rape. So Jaime has paid and has been working to “make up for his bad deed(s)” ever since, while the traditional format of redemptive death usually applies when the “bad guy” only does the right thing at the last minute (usually because he’s just a plot device for the one or two main characters to be saved, - see Darth Vader - whereas in this story main POV characters are not just plot devices). Indeed, GRRM said he is interested in exploring the process of redemption; whether and how someone who has committed some terrible act can come back from it. And he has stated that he wants to believe that is possible. His outlook on redemption arcs seems to be far less authoritarian than those who seem to presume that the answer to the question “can someone be redeemed” is either a yes which is equivalent to life or a no which is equivalent to death. There are tons of shades of grey in between those two options. Furthermore, as I will discuss in part 3, George is all about trope subversion, making the traditional redemptive format rather unlikely.

The handchop not only marks the beginning of his redemption arc, but also sets Jaime on his identity arc. In most predictions, much less emphasis is put on the identity arc, which is equally as important.

“They took my sword hand. Was that all that I was? A sword hand?”

From that moment, we see Jaime having to reinvent himself and he seems to begin falling into a leadership role (not unlike Jon’s penchant for ending up with jobs he didn’t apply for); first trying to reform the Kingsguard as Lord Commander, then sent on diplomatic missions in the Riverlands and, on the show, Dorne. While he trains with Ilyn Payne in the books and we see him in occasional fights and battles on the show, it is clear that while he can somewhat function on a battlefield, he will never be as good as he was with his right. Yet, most of the predictions, especially lately, see him die a hero in battle. Sure, some may say that he will die in battle precisely because he’s not that good anymore. However, that ignores authorial intent:

“And Jaime, losing a hand, losing the very thing he defined himself on is crucial to where I think I want to go with the character. And he questions what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost that.” (GRRM).

With Jaime, GRRM doesn’t seem so interested in telling the story of a hero that will save the world in battle, he seems far more interested in exploring how a broken man can reinvent himself after the *loss* of his identity as a fighter. When you think about it this way, the idea that the climax of his story will be a heroic death in battle becomes a rather unlikely scenario. Decrease the likelihood of this particular scenario, and the overall probability of his death does too.

Finally, there’s the theme that is perhaps most overlooked: love and family. Most commonly, this is associated with Cersei, - who Jaime is willing to do horrible things for - their incestuous children, and Jaime being guilty of his father and sister’s crimes, no matter his direct involvement in them. Whatever little thought is given to how this theme is relevant to predicting Jaime’s fate usually revolves around foreshadowing tragedy: Jaime will kill Cersei, die himself, the Lannisters are all meant to go extinct, and, at most, Tyrion will survive because he is “the good one” (although even that is being revisited now).

But the love and family theme has far wider implications for Jaime’s story. The big crux of this theme in Jaime’s story isn’t just that he’s sleeping with his sister and fathering bastard children with her, but also that, in the name of some misguided notion of star-crossed love for her, he joined a celibate order that required him to give up his role as heir and future leader of his house, as well as his right to marry and father legitimate children (as Tywin and other characters like to often remind us). Fast-forward to S6 of the show, and, in one of the most overlooked scenes, Jaime is released from the Kingsguard. While this is show-only, by that stage, the show was ahead of the books, and the idea of releasing Jaime from the KG is also floated around in the books, most recently by Kevan. Given where his arc seems to be taking him at the end of S7, there is literally no narrative reason for Jaime to be released from the Kingsguard, as he can be accused of treason for going against Cersei’s orders and leaving to fight in the North (and die) just the same. Unless the narrative reason is to free him up for something his Kingsguard vow does not allow him to do.

“Other men could be fathers, [..], husbands. But not Jaime Lannister, whose sword was as golden as his hair.”

Fathers, husbands… the man Jaime was meant to be had he not taken up the white cloak. Once again, this is juxtaposed with his “sword”, the identity as a fighter that he lost - what is Jaime if not a white cloak and a sword hand? Perhaps a father, husband and the head of his house? The man he was meant to be?

So, here we have a character who has embarked upon a redemption arc, which involved losing the thing that defined him as a fighter for his whole life, so that he has to reinvent himself into a role that increasingly looks to be the heir and leader he gave up in the first place, and that the show now put him in a position to legally pursue, with six more episodes to go. Once you take all this development into account, does it sound like an arc where death is a likely, logical and satisfying conclusion that the story is pointing towards? I’d say not really.

The odds of his survival are increased further once you look at how his potential death would affect the arcs of the two other named POV characters who are most closely intertwined with his: Cersei and Brienne.

Cersei: the twin who wasn’t

When we are first introduced to Cersei and Jaime, we only see them from the POV of other characters and one thing is drilled into our heads: they are twins in every sense of the word, from their golden looks to their despicable, arrogant, and shallow personalities. One of the plot twists, and what makes the POV structure so powerful, is that that first impression starts to unravel as soon as we are introduced to their POVs.

Turns out, Jaime and Cersei are actually fairly different people. Jaime is a man who’s grown cynical and bitter but once strived to be a honourable knight. Cersei, while undoubtedly having suffered being Queen to a drunken, abusive, and unfaithful King, showed a streak of sociopathy from a young age - as physically abusing Tyrion when he was a baby, and murdering her best friend by pushing her into a well. Through the story they are both growing to recognise their differences: Jaime realising Cersei was not the Maiden to his Warrior but “the Stranger, hiding her true face from my gaze” and Cersei being alienated by Jaime’s redemption-driven changes, and realising that he has wishes and a moral compass that do not match her own. GRRM sets them on completely opposite trajectories - Jaime on a redemption/identity arc, reinventing himself as a different man, while Cersei doubles down on her psychopathy, getting caught in all sorts of self-made drama and self-destruction. So much for being twins.

Why is this important in terms of Jaime’s death odds? As anyone who has spent five minutes online knows, Cersei has a certain prophecy that has her most likely marked for dead. I am not going to go into the theories about who the valonqar might be (although I will say that the corollary of the valonqar dying after killing Cersei is 100% fanon and nonexistent in the actual prophecy), but this is relevant because, from a narrative arc standpoint, if their arcs are heading in totally opposite directions and Cersei is marked for death, then the odds of Jaime also being marked for death are actually rather low. If one dies, the other, most likely, lives. (Could it be Cersei? Sure. But I think it’s unlikely based on her trajectory - not going to go into it now. Regardless, I think their endings will likely be diametrically opposed).

Brienne: the (plot) armour

And, finally, we come to Brienne. Her chapters are perhaps some of the strongest plot armour (irony, much? - IRON-y? Sorry. I’ll stop now.) Jaime has in this story.

Brienne embodies the concept of knighthood Jaime used to have before joining the Kingsguard. While her views are initially naive and unrealistic, one of her main purposes in the story is to ignite Jaime’s renewed desire to be the honourable knight he wanted to be when he was younger. But if this were Brienne’s sole purpose, she did not need to be a POV. She is a POV because GRRM wants us to see how meeting Jaime affected HER. While challenging her views of knighthood and oaths is one aspect of it, one thing he brings up over and over is that she is terrified of failing Jaime.

The feeling of failure over past events is a staple of Brienne’s inner thoughts (also towards her father, who she feels she couldn’t be an adequate daughter to, and Catelyn Stark, who she couldn’t protect from dying in the Red Wedding). But whenever she thinks about failing Jaime, her thoughts more often than not draw a parallel between failing Jaime and the way she “failed” Renly, the man she loved; i.e. being unable to prevent his death. We meet Brienne in book/season 2 and, shortly after her introduction, we see her holding a dying Renly in her arms. Once we get inside her head in book 4, we see that she has nightmares where she watches Jaime die the same way Renly did, or where he walks away, leaving her alone (“Jaime! Come back for me!”). The show had her voice this fear to Podrick:

“Nothing is more hateful than failing to protect the one you love”.

I won’t go off on a tangent now about Jaime and Brienne’s relationship and where that might go (although, as a full disclaimer, I believe all evidence points to a romance - check out bonus part 4 for more on that topic), but one does not need to see their relationship as romantic to appreciate that protection and failure are big themes in Brienne’s arc, that she starts the story precisely failing to protect the man she loves from death, and that those feelings of protection and fear of failure are transferred from Renly to Jaime. So, if Jaime were to die? It would bring her arc right back where she started, her story having gone nowhere. It does not really matter whether Brienne dies alongside him, or Jaime dies after Brienne is dead. From a narrative standpoint, it would still mean Brienne’s efforts were ultimately in vain. I think it’s unlikely GRRM’s decision to make her a POV character and spend so much time on the theme of failure of protecting the one(s) she loves, was merely to engage in circular storytelling and end the story with “You know what, Brienne? You were right all along. You are a failure. Now go and mourn Jaime for the rest of your lonely life, the way you mourned Renly and everyone else in your life who’s dead (i.e. 99% of your family).”

To summarize, if we look at narrative arcs, Jaime’s arc tackles three themes that all seem to point in a direction other than death as the most likely/logical outcome. Furthermore, Jaime’s death would void two other important themes/arcs George is exploring with two other POV characters. Therefore, while of course it doesn’t rule it out, the odds of him dying, when looking at narrative arcs alone, look much lower than the general consensus would have you believe.

Up next, in part 2, foreshadowing.

#jaime lannister #jaime lannister meta #game of thrones meta #asoiaf meta #asoiaf #game of thrones #my meta #essay #thank you for coming to my ted talk

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lailelizabeth · 4 years

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To say that Elizabeth Lail is an old soul doesn’t really do her justice, though the 27-year-old Texas-born actress does keep getting cast in psychological thrillers (see: You and Countdown), which makes you wonder if her preternatural wisdom and maturity aren’t what casting directors are picking up on when she auditions.

While she laughs freely, binge-watches Friends, and still has the kind of youthful skin that requires little else than lip balm, her deep knowledge of her craft, composure, and insight into human nature betray her age entirely. The Bare Magazine caught up with Elizabeth in New York City, where her most recent psychological thriller, Unintended, just had its premiere.

Bare: Why do you think you keep getting cast in psychological thrillers?

Elizabeth Lail: What is it about me? I’m just so killable! The thing is, you never get cast the way you think you’re going to get cast. But I do have a girl-next-door aesthetic on the outside and a bit of darkness and sadness on the inside. It’s not a place I inhabit every day, but it definitely helps me connect with these characters.

Bare: What attracted you to acting?

EL: Acting chose me. It was cathartic. When I was younger, I always tried to be the good girl. But whenever I was at a play or in a movie theater, I found I was able to feel the full gamut of my emotions. When I was 12, my mom forced me to audition for a play at a community theater. She was like, “I know you’re going to like this.” She was right. I went to a summer program at University of North Carolina School of the Arts (UNCSA) when I was 15 and it was life changing. I was surrounded by artists. I found my people! After that, I went to UNCSA for high school and college. Bare: And you’ve been working steadily since, congratulations! To what do you attribute that?

EL: A month or so after I graduated from college, I booked “Once Upon a Time.” I’ve had a very lucky trajectory since. School gave me the tools to become an actor — and the industry connections. [Elizabeth met her manager through school, too.]

Bare: You’ve been so focused on acting since such a young age, do you ever think of what you might do if you weren’t an actor?

EL: I really can’t imagine myself doing anything else. There’s something about actors. We always experience discontent. We’re always wanting to discover more and challenge ourselves. If I didn’t have a career that created the opportunity for me to do that, I think I’d feel even more dissatisfied.

Bare: You are quite an intense person, what do you do to decompress?

EL: I drink tea. It sounds silly. But we’re always doing ten things at once. If I just sip tea, it immediately brings me peace. I also like to watch Friends and eat popcorn. I call it wallpaper TV. It surrounds you in comfort.

Bare: We hear you’re a big journal keeper, too.

EL: Yes. I have all of these old journals and I’m afraid to toss them out. It’s my meditation. I write stream of consciousness. Sometimes it’s strictly about gratitude. It’s really just a place for me to check in. My full complexity comes out when I’m free to say whatever I want to say in my journal. Sometimes I look back at a page and it gives me great perspective. It makes me go “man, everything really does pass.” Then there are new issues, joys, and things to celebrate. You see that life is like a series of seasons, and you never know which one you’ll find yourself in next.

Bare: Speaking of passions, you’re very active with Sea Shepherd, right?

EL: Yes. I was doing press for Unintended, and one of the film distributors who was involved with the organization noticed I was interested in the environment. So, he made the connection and that’s how it began. These are people doing the really hard work to protect the oceans. Not just carrying reusable water bottles, though that’s great too, of course. I was honored to be a mouthpiece for them the other day when the Empire State building was lit up in blue to honor Sea Shepherd’s commitment to the ocean. I got to flip the switch on the lights!

Bare: Do you have pets?

EL: I’m such an animal person in general. I have a cat, who I love dearly. I fostered this cat who I just couldn’t not keep, so now she’s mine. Her name is Jo, inspired by Little Women. So many people are anti-cat, but when cats decide to love you, it’s really exciting. I feel like I was a cat in a past life.

Bare: What’s your dream project?

EL: I’d love to do a play. Some kind of kitchen sink drama. I like family and relationships, so I’d love to do a really incredible play on Broadway or the West End. That would be a major milestone for me. I become a better actor when I’m working on a play.

Bare: Who has been your biggest inspiration personally or professionally?

EL: I’d have to say my family. My parents, sister, and grandparents. I stem from all of them, and I’m happy about it. I mean, I can literally see my mother and my grandmother in my hands. They’re such an intrinsic part of me. I always say that siblings can be a real shot in the dark, but my older sister chose to love me, so we were a team growing up. When we got in trouble, she made sure that she got in more trouble.

Bare: And do you have a partner now?

EL: Yes. And he’s not an actor. I call him a normal person.

Bare: Are most of your friends actors?

EL: It’s a pretty even split. I don’t discriminate against actors the way some people do. For the most part, actors are people who are interested in other people, which makes for a really good friend.

Bare: What theatrical work has had a big impact on your life?

EL: Les Misérables. It’s one of the first musicals I ever saw. I felt so connected to Éponine. My parents had seen it in London and often played the soundtrack in the car, so it was also part of their story, too. I’ve seen it a couple of times on Broadway, and I relate to a different character each time. I can always come back to it. The straight play that moved me the most was All My Sons by Arthur Miller. There’s just so much to be had, so much to discover. You could dig endlessly inside of his plays.

Bare: How would you define your style?

EL: My style is … comfortable. I’m willing to wear anything that’s available, but I prefer comfortable and cozy. Clothes that feel like home.

Bare: And what’s your hair and makeup routine like?

EL: I’m very into simplicity in beauty. I have been a consistent user of Burt’s Bees Lip Balm in pomegranate. But my dream is no makeup! I even let my hair air-dry. That’s the way it looks. I did let Tina [Bare Magazine’s Creative Director, and the makeup artist whose work you see here] put some makeup on me for this shoot, though.

Bare: Ok, saving the biggies for last. Are you fundamentally an optimist or a pessimist? Do you think human nature is good or bad?

EL: I would consider myself fundamentally an optimist with some pessimistic tendencies. And I think human nature is neither good nor bad. Mostly we just are who we are on any given day. Not to say that there aren’t bad people in the world, but as a concept we’re neither. We’re just beings.

#elizabeth lail #elizabeth dean lail #article #interview #mp #unintended

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letsraginis · 4 years

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Lynda Carter, a Real-Life Wonder Woman

Today, Wonder Woman is one of the world’s most popular comic-book characters but that hasn’t always been the case. Before the Israeli actress Gal Gadot was cast as the classic heroine, Lynda Carter played Wonder Woman and her secret alter-ego, Diana Prince, in the beloved 1970s TV show which helped turn the superhero into a cultural icon.

But although it may seem as though being Miss Universe and portraying wonder woman mean you live a glamorous, easy life, the road to success wasn’t so simple for Carter, who had to deal with hardships that shaped who she is today.

Join us to unravel Carter’s unusual life story, the dilemmas that were a part of her life and to finally answer the pressing question of why she wasn’t a part of the new Wonder Woman production.

Starting Out Young

Lynda Carter’s greatest breakthrough may have been her casting in Wonder Woman, but her career in entertainment started much earlier.

Her first television appearance actually took place way back in 1956, when she was just five years old, nearly twenty years before the debut of the Wonder Woman television show. She appeared on Lew King’s Talent Show – but not as an actress. Lynda Carter – who at the tender age of five still went by her birth name of Linda Jean Córdova Carter – was, above all, interested in singing.

Lynda Carter, the Singer

By the time she was in high school, Carter had begun to take singing very seriously. She joined a band called Just Us, where she sang, accompanied by a marimba, conga drums, an acoustic guitar and a stand-up bass – all played by her friends.

But Just Us wasn’t enough for her, and at the age of 16, she joined two of her cousins in a band called The Relatives.

A year later, she would leave home and go on tour with the band.

Going Her Own Way

At the age of 17, Lynda left home and decided to pursue her singing career with the band, full time.

“My husband once asked my mother, ‘Why on earth would you let your 17-year-old daughter go on tour with a bunch of musicians?’” Lynda Carter told the New York Times in a 2018 interview. “My mother said, ‘Excuse me, have you ever tried to talk Lynda out of something she made up her mind to do?’”

At the age of 17, Carter was fiercely independent – but she wasn’t just going her own way; she was already forming a feminist worldview, and becoming a staunch activist.

Sneaking Into Casinos

Lynda, together with The Relatives, did quite well for a band that was just starting out.

She soon went from earning a meagre salary in her uncle’s diner to making $50 a night, just for singing. But while her band was highly requested, and even landed a coveted three-month long residency at the Sahara Hotel and Casino lounge in Las Vegas, Lynda herself was not yet 18 – and was years away from the required age limit of 21.

While her band was a popular opening act, Carter couldn’t enter the Casino she was working for, at least not through the front door. To avoid illegally walking through the gambling floor, she had to be snuck in through the kitchen.

Doing Well in School

Although Carter had chosen to leave home in order to perform with The Relatives, she didn’t neglect her schoolwork. Carter was a diligent student, and even with her Las Vegas shows, managed to earn an academic scholarship at Arizona State University. She was voted “Most Talented” in her high school yearbook, and after graduating, set off for college.

But this was not going to last.

The Call of the Road

Despite doing well at school and at university, Lynda couldn’t keep her mind off the touring lifestyle, and soon, decided to leave Arizona State and return to performing – full time.

To ease her worried parents, she promised her father she would mail him every other paycheck she made, in order to save up.

During her time touring, she travelled extensively. She learned about musical theory from Jazz musicians, and performed everywhere, from Borscht-belt lounges in New York, supper clubs in the Midwest and honky-tonk joints in the South.

But while she was getting a first class, hands-on education in music and performing, something was beginning to bother her.

A Ghost from the Future

One day, while she was out somewhere in the Midwest, the young Lynda Carter saw a 30-something lounge singer walk on stage. While the singer was good, she wasn’t a star – for her, the glamour and adventure of the touring life had worn off, and it showed.

“I woke up the next day and couldn’t stop crying,” Carter told The New York Times. “I thought, ‘That’s me in 10 years.’”

The epiphany was a wake-up call for Carter, and soon after she gave her band notice, and returned home to her parents. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Turning to Modeling

After returning home and rethinking her position, Lynda decided that, while music held an undeniable appeal, she wanted to give something else a go.

At 5-foot-9, with striking blue eyes and long black hair, Lynda knew she looked good – and signed up with a modeling agency.

Within a month of modeling, she was crowned Miss Phoenix, Miss Arizona, and finally, Miss World USA.

To the outside observer, it seemed like Carter took to modeling like a fish takes to water – but while her mother was proud, Lynda didn’t feel comfortable in her new career path.

Having Doubts

Lynda Carter continued to ride her success as a model, and after taking the national beauty pageant scene by storm, she went on to represent the United States in the international beauty pageant of 1972, reaching the semifinals.

But Lynda wasn’t happy with this new trajectory.

“You have to visualize the time. Women’s lib! Burn the bra! Gloria Steinem!” Carter told The New York Times. “And I had some guy telling me I needed a chaperone and had to go cut a ribbon somewhere. It wasn’t me.”

Returning to Music

After she returned from the international Miss World competition, Lynda Carter decided to take a break from modeling, and instead, focused on her music once again. She flew to England, where she recorded several singles with EMI – and then, finally, made the big move to Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of America.

There, she continued to pursued her musical career, playing gigs and making a living by singing in advertising jingles – but in addition to music, Carter had begun to think about another possible career path: acting.

Acting Lessons

While in Los Angeles, Carter began to take acting lessons with Charles E. Conrad – one of the most well-respected and sought-after acting coaches in the industry.

Carter was no stranger to acting, but with Conrad’s tutoring, coupled with her Miss World USA crown, suddenly doors began to open for her.

She started to make appearances in small roles in several television movies, as well as in popular TV shows like Starsky and Hutch and Cos – but while she seemed to be making headway, Carter was, once again, dissatisfied with what she was doing.

Screen Shot from: “Starsky and Hutch”

“Pretty Girl” Roles

As Lynda Carter continued to land acting roles in film and television, she began to notice a pattern in the type of characters she was getting cast as. She was always playing “the pretty girl,” as she told The New York Times, and while this enabled to her qualify as a member of SAG-AFTRA (the Screen Actors Guild ‐ American Federation of Television and Radio Artists) – which was important if she wanted to get bigger acting parts – she felt that what she was doing wasn’t much different from her beauty pageant days.

Then, an opportunity arose that would address Lynda Carter’s trepidations – and change her life forever.

Getting the Part

Lynda Carter had managed to make a small place for herself in the entertainment industry, but despite her small roles in popular television shows, as well as her work in radio jingles and gigs, the acting lifestyle was seriously biting into her savings.

Her funds were almost depleted, and she was seriously considering the possibility of returning home to her parents, when suddenly, she received a phone call from her manager.

The actress Joanna Cassidy, with whom Lynda was competing for the role of Wonder Woman, had lost the part to her; thanks to Lynda’s earnest performance, she was going to star as the lead character in a TV show!

Her Big Breakthrough

In 1975, just three short years after she had left her music career and decided to model, Lynda Carter landed the starring role in a new superhero television show produced by Warner Bros. and DC Comics – the same people who had produced the popular and iconic Batman television show in 1966, starring Adam West.

Little did Carter realize back then, but the role would transform not just her life, but feminist discourse and women’s rights from end to end.

Amazonian Princess

Carter would play a character known as Diana Prince.

The character of Diana hails from a reclusive island in the pacific, knowns as Paradise, and inhabited by the Amazons; beautiful women who never age, and who were all blessed with amazing strength, agility and intelligence.

When an American pilot crash-lands on their island in the middle of World War II, Diana is selected to return him to America in her invisible jet. Armed with bullet-deflecting bracelets, a golden belt that holds the source of her powers, and an unbreakable, golden Lasso of Truth, she dons an American flag-inspired outfit and heads to the United States, where she becomes known… as Wonder Woman.

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theabirsingh-blog · 4 years

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Lynda Carter, a Real-Life Wonder Woman

Join us to unravel Carter’s unusual life story, the dilemmas that were a part of her life and to finally answer the pressing question of why she wasn’t a part of the new Wonder Woman production.

Starting Out Young

Lynda Carter’s greatest breakthrough may have been her casting in Wonder Woman, but her career in entertainment started much earlier.

Lynda Carter, the Singer

But Just Us wasn’t enough for her, and at the age of 16, she joined two of her cousins in a band called The Relatives.

A year later, she would leave home and go on tour with the band.

Going Her Own Way

At the age of 17, Lynda left home and decided to pursue her singing career with the band, full time.

At the age of 17, Carter was fiercely independent – but she wasn’t just going her own way; she was already forming a feminist worldview, and becoming a staunch activist.

Sneaking Into Casinos

Lynda, together with The Relatives, did quite well for a band that was just starting out.

Doing Well in School

But this was not going to last.

The Call of the Road

Despite doing well at school and at university, Lynda couldn’t keep her mind off the touring lifestyle, and soon, decided to leave Arizona State and return to performing – full time.

To ease her worried parents, she promised her father she would mail him every other paycheck she made, in order to save up.

But while she was getting a first class, hands-on education in music and performing, something was beginning to bother her.

A Ghost from the Future

“I woke up the next day and couldn’t stop crying,” Carter told The New York Times. “I thought, ‘That’s me in 10 years.’”

The epiphany was a wake-up call for Carter, and soon after she gave her band notice, and returned home to her parents. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Turning to Modeling

After returning home and rethinking her position, Lynda decided that, while music held an undeniable appeal, she wanted to give something else a go.

At 5-foot-9, with striking blue eyes and long black hair, Lynda knew she looked good – and signed up with a modeling agency.

Within a month of modeling, she was crowned Miss Phoenix, Miss Arizona, and finally, Miss World USA.

To the outside observer, it seemed like Carter took to modeling like a fish takes to water – but while her mother was proud, Lynda didn’t feel comfortable in her new career path.

Having Doubts

But Lynda wasn’t happy with this new trajectory.

Returning to Music

Acting Lessons

While in Los Angeles, Carter began to take acting lessons with Charles E. Conrad – one of the most well-respected and sought-after acting coaches in the industry.

Carter was no stranger to acting, but with Conrad’s tutoring, coupled with her Miss World USA crown, suddenly doors began to open for her.

Screen Shot from: “Starsky and Hutch”

“Pretty Girl” Roles

Then, an opportunity arose that would address Lynda Carter’s trepidations – and change her life forever.

Getting the Part

Her funds were almost depleted, and she was seriously considering the possibility of returning home to her parents, when suddenly, she received a phone call from her manager.

Her Big Breakthrough

Little did Carter realize back then, but the role would transform not just her life, but feminist discourse and women’s rights from end to end.

Amazonian Princess

Carter would play a character known as Diana Prince.

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fikfreak · 5 years

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New Amsterdam One Shot...

Alright, so I couldn’t let this go...i couldn’t! I had to write this tiny little one shot for my new fave show New Amsterdam. I might write more as the mood hits, but this is what i was able to eek out while still working on my Richonne FF No Ordinary Love.

so i hope y'all like this little tiny peek into Max and Helen, and if you guys do like it, i might do a few more.

@akarensilla @100kindsofblake @commacommacommachameleon @rwtl2016

Max...

I don’t know why I can’t look away. Stop myself from gazing at her lips instead of her eyes. Watching the way they pucker and pout to form those sophisticated medical words that we all initially stumbled over in medical school, but finally mastered by residency. The bronze gloss slicked across them stealing my focus more often than not.

She’s my doctor. I’m her boss. I’m a married man. Kind of. With Georgia leaving me, absconding away to Connecticut with our baby, I have no way of knowing where our relationship stands. And now my heart wanders, wonders, rapidly bruising an anxious rhythm against my chest…for another. A woman who is not my wife.

Her dark eyebrows raise high on her forehead, signaling that she’s waiting for some verbal response from me. “Did you hear what I said, Max?”

“Huh? Yeah. Yes, I did.”

“Remission. For now. That’s good news.”

“Yes, Helen, I know that.”

“Then why aren’t you smiling?”

Inching my arms from the sleeves, I toss my white coat across my desk, and I wearily drop on to the couch behind me and lean back, my arms crossing my chest. The stress of the day is still heavy in the strain of my muscles, my bones. But her question, posed in that sardonic, British lilt of hers, instantly lightens the weight of everything. Catching the gaze of her dark amber eyes dancing over my face, a slight frown dipping her full lips, I tilt my head a little. “Am I not smiling enough for you, doctor?” I ask, grinning now, wide, wanting to please her for some irrational reason, to obey her obvious desire for a smile. From me.

Pulling her head back a little, fighting a grin of her own, she points her index finger my way, zeroing in on the tilt of my lips. “Well now you are positively grinning. Cheshire Cat has nothing on you, eh?”

Dropping my head bashfully, then raising my eyes back to hers, I can feel a blush coming on as her eyes travel the planes of my face again, studying me. Looking for something that I hope she finds pleasing. Lasering in on my lips. “Just giving you what you want. Er- asked me for.” I stutter, keeping my head angled slightly away as I rub my hand nervously across my neck. Could I be any more transparent? I assume it’s obvious that my affection for her lives and breathes in my every moment with her. Why should I even attempt to conceal it any longer?

“Max, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile. Genuinely smile. A smile just for you. The chemo, the radiation, your personal trials-”

“You can say it, Helen. My wife leaving me.”

“It’s just good to see you happy, like you were when your baby was born. You deserve that kind of joy, simply for what you mean to everyone you’ve impacted. You change so many lives for the good. I’m- I’m just glad I could help put that smile there.” She advances on me. Two short strides bringing her to standing in between my wide stretched legs. Helen gestures to my lips again, one red tipped, manicured finger, just a hair’s breadth away from me being able to kiss it. Suck it gently into my mouth. The thought ambles in the forefront of my brain before I get a chance to tuck it away with the rest of my secretly held desires for her.

This time is different though. Something unnamable between Helen and I has changed. After the many early mornings and late nights of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Of her bringing me back to my empty apartment, to feed me, care for me, make sure I am resting before I charge back to the hospital to change the world. Unable to even change the trajectory of my hopelessly broken marriage. There were so many late nights spent with me witnessing her triumphant return of Helen’s emotional investment, and relentless drive back to the profession we both love, that bolsters the brilliance of her mind, and the earnestness of her will to make a difference. Countless days have passed with me listening to the sadness lacing her soft voice as she ruminates about the lack of love in her life, and her dwindling prospects for parenthood. Together we have unwittingly knitted from the remnants of our past lives, a new one together, interwoven with pieces of heartbreak and latent desire for more. For a connection.

I cannot discount that I owe my recovery and my health to this woman, who has asked for nothing in return, no promises I cannot fulfill, no broken vows of forever. No dissatisfied grimaces followed by a retreat to the wealthiest of Connecticut’s gated enclaves. With Helen, there has only been the simplicity of an ear to listen, and a broken body that I allow her to heal. Perhaps in this moment, when the air is charged, positively crackling with this unacknowledged energy arching between us, we can both finally admit that this unspoken thing simmering between us, is simply everything.

It’s been there for over a year now. Since I walked through the door, full of hubris, and armed with an unflinching desire to fix things. Something. Myself even. Over time maybe even her. The slight melancholy that always swims in the veins, dragging down the spirit found underneath the silky covering of her mocha tinged skin, urging me to make right whatever it is that rides her, bars her from joy. I know what it is. What I can do. What I can give her. Would I dare? Would she ever accept that it doesn’t come from the same place my work here at the hospital does? That it’s not conditioned by my oath to do no harm, to treat and care for the sick. This desire that pools in my heart for Helen is more urgent than anything I’ve ever felt. Even my feelings for Georgia.

Leaning up, straightening my back, I’m brushing my thumb across the apple of her cheek, and down, a feathery graze over her lips and chin. “Helen?”

Slowly, almost as though she’s in pain, she drops her eyelids, the lashes delicately resting, sweeping in a gentle blink the tears that leak in tiny pulses down from her eyes. “Max?”

“I can make you happy too. If you let me.”

“Max…”

“If you let me, I would make us both happy. We can make each other that way.”

“You’re not ready. Take this gift of remission first. Use it to fix what’s already broken.”

“I am. I’m ready for this, for you. For remission. To move on. To be happy again. For real this time. If you will let me. You and I are what’s broken.”

Helen doesn’t speak. She doesn’t have to. With slender, trembling fingers she reaches for me. It’s not foreign to me. Her touch is welcoming, emitting a warmth that has comforted me as she has helped to treat my cancer over the last year. There is a tentative hesitance in the way her skin grazes mine. Haltingly approaching my cheeks as though to cup them, then dashing away, unsure of herself. But I’m not unsure. I’ve thought of this many days, many nights. Sometimes of nothing else as our friendship has blossomed over the last year. As she watched on as Georgia delivered my child, then summarily snatched her away from me, relegating me to an every other weekend parent.

Helen was there when the dean of the hospital finally, grudgingly, but with a modicum of pride, admitted that the changes I have made here at New Amsterdam have worked. Have positively altered the trajectory of the lives we touch, our own getting better, more fulfilled in correlation. So here we are in my office now, prepared to jump into the abyss of what this could mean for us. How this choice as well, might simply change everything.

Something in me wants to push her to choose me. To move aside the cloud of doubt that hides her feelings from me, to forge ahead and claim her. To pull her smaller form down onto mine, and shield her from her uncertainty. Cloak her in the absolute rightness of us. But I don’t.

She’s like a deer, a bit skittish. Unsteady even. A colt on new legs, but somewhat eager to rush ahead into the unknown. Instead I turn my head into her restless palm that hovers against my feverish skin, and allow my lips to settle there, placing delicate, encouraging pecks along the life lines that traverse her skin.

“Max, I do want…that.”

“Me too, Helen. Me too.”

#new amsterdam #helen and max #i hope y'all like this #i love them so much #trying not to become obsessed #sharpwin

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douxreviews · 5 years

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Charmed - Season Six Review

"It helps to be a sister."

With more plot holes than actual plot, some really questionable character arcs, and frustratingly inconsistent mythology, Season Six is undoubtedly one of Charmed's worst years.

Following the downward trajectory that began in the latter half of Season Five, we enter Season Six with the series in a state of confusion. Piper and Leo's separation is, unfortunately, the crux of the season, and the character responsible for all this - Chris - plays a frustratingly important role in the season as well. Portrayed by an actor with the charisma of a dead fish, and written with very little conviction, Chris is probably the worst major character the series ever introduced. As we watch the more familiar and, yes, admittedly bland Leo slowly grow apart from Piper and the sisters, we're forced to endure a very slow, and very odd reveal of Chris' true identity. Episodes like 'Chris Crossed' try to add depth to him, but the general confusion surrounding his place in the series make it more of a baffling watch than a satisfying one.

Initially coming across as somewhat of a villain, it's obvious that Holy Marie Combs' pregnancy threw the writers under the bus, with Chris' subsequent unveiling as Wyatt's brother raising more than a few questions about what came before it. Like why would Chris kill a Valkyrie with such reckless abandon in the season premiere, and why did he have to go through all the effort of enlisting a demon just to teach the sisters a lesson about their individual wants and desires in 'My Three Witches'? And how the hell did Drew Fuller ever get hired in the first place?

Chris' plan also required him to keep Piper and Leo apart so he could place himself close to Wyatt, but watching the separation unfold is a truly aggravating experience, especially when it felt neither organic, nor appropriate. There are a few parts of the season that try to toy with Piper's role as a single mother, though the inconsistent writing prevents most of these moments from hitting home. There are some admittedly strong scenes that explore Piper's pain over Leo's departure, notably in the premiere where Phoebe's new power of empathy allows her to feel the hurt and betrayal that Piper had been holding back for months thanks to a spell gone awry. Largely, though, the arc is a mess, and it’s a relief when it all comes to an end with baby Chris' birth in the finale.

Chris' plan to save Wyatt from getting corrupted by evil forces leads us to the show's first major antagonist since The Source; the misguided Elder, Gideon. His motives are flimsy as hell, but the presence of a primary villain is welcome in light of the reversion to a stand-alone narrative last season. The story never quite works, with Gideon's reasons for betraying the sisters and attempting to destroy Wyatt feeling a little unfounded. There are some interesting repercussions to his actions, though. Leo's decision to kill Gideon for betraying him essentially ends his time as a fully-fledged Elder, sending him down a dark path next season.

Outside of Piper and Leo's family drama, there are just as many issues to be found, with Phoebe's plots this season continuing her path to full-on narcissism. Gone are the days of the fun, relatable misfit. Now she's much more concerned with sperm hunting and using, abusing and later losing her new power of empathy to find said sperm. Bar a few fun moments, Phoebe is pretty abhorrent this season. It's hard to feel sympathy for her anymore, and most of the beats her arc hits feel like they're driving her character further and further into the ground. This season also marks the first instance of a tradition that lasts through to season eight; Phoebe's annual love interests. Here, it's a carry-over from last season; Jason Dean. He's mostly fine, though he falls squarely into the same category as most male characters on this series and becomes rather disposable. He eventually departs after finding out Phoebe's secret and he isn't missed.

Paige's decision to quit her job as a social worker last season is still causing her to drift from place to place. But rather than mooching around the manor honing her witchcraft as she did in Season Five, here she takes up temping, giving the writers a chance to throw her into a new and absurd situation each week. Some of these fall flat (hi, talking dog!), but some do lead to some genuinely intriguing situations, most notably in 'Love's a Witch', where Paige is caught in the middle of a magical family feud. The episode is decent enough, though it's more significant for its introduction of Paige's semi-recurring love interest, Richard. Initially appearing as a witch with a magic-averse attitude, we soon learn about his addiction to dark magic. There are some cool, dark little moments for Richard, but in general the plot is never fully realized and his addictions eventually drive him away from Paige. I think the biggest problem with Paige's weekly exploits is that each of them seem to emphasize how uneven she's become. At least her early episodes in Season Four are mostly consistent; you could really get to know her. Here she goes from peace-maker, to busybody, to activist, to floozy to a whole host of other things and it’s hard to get a read on who she is anymore, which is a huge disappointment.

It goes without saying that there are very few great episodes, this season. 'Love's a Witch' is one of them, as is the two-part season finale 'It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World'. The idea of dual realities is something that’s done a lot on other high concept shows, and it's explored in a fun and creative way, in this double lenghth episode. It also gives a choppy and dissatisfying season a remarkably poignant ending, with future Chris' death, and the birth of baby Chris. 'Forget Me... Not' is another highlight that has a lot of fun with a broken timeline, and it also features a cool little mystery that drives the hour to a crazy witch/dragon showdown.

Rare highlights aside, this season is a total mess. 'Witchstock' is a crock of an episode, where a wasted trip to the 60's feels like more of a chance to poke fun at the visuals of that era more than anything else. It's also completely devoid of any of the emotional resonance of 'That 70's Episode' back in Season One. 'Crimes and Witch Demeanours’ is a dull clip-show, that makes a half-hearted attempt to make amends for the girls' abuse of Daryl, who is at this point a walking, talking plot device. 'Prince Charmed' takes the cake, though (literally). It’s an abhorrent hour that features Phoebe and Paige acting like brain-dead bimbos, while Piper makes some really questionable choices about her love life and role as a single mother. It culminates in an embarrassing food fight that is hard to watch, not just because its an awfully written scene, but because it's hard to see three characters who were once so admirable acting like this. I feel so bad for Holly. She deserves so much better than this sub-par material.

Potions and Notions

The Cleaners pop up this season. Their job is to clean up whenever magic is exposed. Where were they when Prue and Piper were exposed on live TV in 'All Hell Breaks Loose'?

There's a weird separation story line that plays out mid-season when Phoebe and Paige decide to leave with their respective beaus. It wraps up without much fanfare when Phoebe splits from Jason, and Paige leaves Richard.

Spells and Chants

Piper: "Okay, neurotic people, can we get back to my neurosis right now, please?"

Piper: "Come to me and be seduced, I have a girl to introduce. Fall for her, you can't resist her, Trust me, mister, she's my sister."

Chris: "I'm Piper and Leo's son." Paige: "What?" Chris: "They're my parents. I came back to save my family." Paige:"You're serious." Chris: "Yeah. Only now I've gotta save myself. Because if my mom doesn't get pregnant in the next month, there is no me." Paige: "This is all so wrong!" I'm right there with you, Paige.

Best Episode: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World.

Honorable Mentions: Forget Me... Not, Love's a Witch, I Dream of Phoebe.

Worst Episode: Prince Charmed.

It's a shame that the decision to return to a big bad formula is destroyed by clumsy plotting and hack dialogue. At least Chris' death gives the series the chance to move on from this mess next season and try something new.

4 out of 10 Valkyries.

Panda

#Charmed #Piper Halliwell #Phoebe Halliwell #Paige Matthews #Charmed Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews #something from the archive

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gurguliare · 6 years

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Anyway I finally finally finished the TM post-mortem so have one last rundown

Really loved: Signet’s stupid relics runway show, Ali describing the Mirage/Splice resolution as “the most amazing Gift of the Magi fuckup,” and, oddly, Keith’s reflections on anarchism, though idk if enough of that made it legibly into the season---which is one of the ways Gig was underserved, I guess.

I also enjoyed and appreciated the discussion of TM’s utopianism as monumental artistic challenge. I obviously have criticisms wrt execution and I disagree with some of their analysis of TM’s failures and shortcomings, but I thought everyone was refreshingly honest about the sheer scale of the task, in a way that I often missed during the series proper---when the tone sometimes tended more toward “we’ve set ‘depicting a utopia’ as our goal, and of course we share a coherent (static) vision of what that entails, and know exactly how to get from here to there.”

I was dissatisfied at best with the conversation about redemption vs rehabilitation. I might be more convinced by the distinction if Austin had ever stopped saying “sin”... which, among other things, helps to selectively blur together abuse and other forms of violence. (I’ve given up on even dreaming of a world in which FATT covers its ass better in re: Christian-centric, frankly Catholic-centric readings of both morality and faith, and maybe it’s for the best that they lack the wherewithal to mask that.) That said, I think it’s very striking that Even Gardner’s violence and militarism seems dealt with in-story almost exclusively as a form of trauma and a thing that happens to Even Gardner, while Fourteen’s history with Castlerose is discussed (up to the time of the finale) almost exclusively in terms of Sins Fourteen Committed. I’m not saying those framings are ~flipped, but the ratio does seem off. Even has a fuckton of choices at every step of the way and experiences basically no material repercussions or visible change of heart, other than “once there are no Advent people left I’ll stop targeting Advent.” He’s also, notably, “brought back from the edge” by a played-straight romantic relationship, for some reason. Fourteen has like... half of a narrative about turning bad habits and even obsolete ideas to constructive ends, and half a narrative about reclaiming agency once safely away from your abuser, even at the cost of losing access to huge swathes of your life... but it’s an arc that goes so unacknowledged or unseen by the other characters that it never connects back up to the idea that, well, bound up in the problem of rehabilitation is the problem of forgiveness---or if we don’t like that language, then acceptance. It’s never clear on what terms Fourteen is judged and reintegrated into their community, and how and where their self-image aligns with others’ view of them.

Which is very, very lonely, and raises huge questions for me about the whole issue of Fourteen as ~disability representation and specifically as a test case for what terminal illness might look like in a utopia. It is just not clear what anyone’s goals were, as far as showing Fourteen supported in a systemic way and not just on the level of relationships. It’s very odd. I’m still puzzled by Jack and Austin’s remarks on this, especially the focus on what Jack had or hadn’t done with Fourteen in play. Literally every NPC (who has a stance on the issue at all) responds to Fourteen with undisguised horror at their memory dysfunction---the most sympathetic version of this is a lecture about integrating assistive technology into their daily routine! and the least sympathetic is the point-blank statement that Fourteen not remembering who they’ve killed is worse than killing those people in the first place. Like, what the hell? That’s a vision of morality that is entirely premised on repentance, and on the idea that expiation for a crime only comes with appropriate helpings of guilt. And it never really receives an in-universe challenge.

It was also weird to me that Grand didn’t come up at all in that part of the discussion. But then again it seemed like no one wanted to comment seriously on Grand’s arc in general; maybe Art was making really sad faces on the call or something. It’s a shame though, since you’d think it would be a good opportunity to go on some bullshit about “salvation NOT through good works,” or rather, salvation definitely through good works but everyone feels a little weird about it. Three bombs? Three bombs?

Finally, it is important that I dissect all remarks on shipping. I was a little perturbed by the discussion of Fourteen/Tender; I thought Ali’s IC reasons were perfectly valid but I found Jack’s slightly suspect, because I don’t think, uh, “this person flirts all the time but is too busy dying to pursue new romantic projects” really jives---either with Fourteen’s profound, active engagement with others (more active and deeper engagement the longer the season went on) or with Jack’s stated goal of presenting a dying person who, without being embroiled in regret or bitterness in the face of death, still loves their life. Obviously I don’t think romantic relationships are a requirement for that, but the blanket statement that Fourteen is Not That Person gave me trouble. Also, I just don’t think you can drop the “platonic relationship representation is so important” line in there without a LOT more unpacking of the pros and cons of that---who are the characters involved in that relationship, and are they people for whom nonsexual relationships are a top-of-the-line representation deficit? Also, is nonsexual vs sexual really the paradigm you want to cleave to here, in a discussion of the chemistry between an internet goddess and a hunk of data?

I’m a hypocrite though bc when they got to echogrand and went on about how it was important that Echo’s arc not center on romance I was like RIGHT ON

...

Okay. One more thing. Janine shooting down Signet/Blueberry; I was fond of this, though I obviously do not care about her opinion and will continue to do what I want---I don’t like “parental” as the trajectory for a dynamic whose foundational moment is the younger weaker party saving the older, that doesn’t do it for me. Of course children can save their parents, but they shouldn’t have to, and that certainly shouldn’t be the pattern that defines the relationship. And for Signet and Blueberry I think it really is; Signet offers Blueberry apologies, Blueberry offers Signet things Signet actually needs. That’s not parental. Nevertheless, I was fond bc it made me think about what a wealth of fun mentorship dynamics this season offered otherwise---with Tender and Morning’s Observation, and Fourteen and Sho, there are these really precious internal movements, or moments of slippage, from distrust to empathy and from faith to disillusionment, that I treasured as real, organic, slippery pieces of character writing and of writing about growth... My favorite example of this is when Morning’s Observation is FURIOUS with Tender after the fucking... rooftop debacle early on in the Wind’s Poem arc. And then again, more seriously, later, after he’s been essentially abandoned and has to save the day by drawing on parts of himself he wanted to give up. That feels like a moment of roleswap between “guardian” and “child” that is presented as appropriately bittersweet, pivotal, and rupturing, and which therefore preserves the logic of the original relationship even as it expands it. And I also love Grand’s awkward interference there, haha... esp in the context of Grand managing to disappoint Morning separately later on, when by that point it’s lost most of its oomph just because Morning has learned not to have expectations of these fucking geniuses. Which is its own mixed result.

(I wish there had been a bit more followup with Morning in the finale, actually, I don’t think he really got resolution on some stuff and I think “happy at the Brink with his moms” is more avoidant copout than anything, though not implausible or unreasonable avoidance from a character perspective. But like, the fucking... part in the Feast of Patina where it becomes increasingly apparent, throughout Morning’s glad monologue, that he did, in fact, do many of the same things as Grand? He betrayed former allies for an enemy faction in the name of convenience! That’s not all Grand did, but it’s not nothing. And everyone has to fall back on “but the Advent Group are fascists! Morning didn’t turn coat and join fascists!” when it’s like, well, would he have, if they had offered him spaghetti?

Not that I think Morning’s and Grand’s choices are remotely equivalent. But it was a very funny parallel for them to try to wriggle out of on the fly, and I wish they hadn’t---I wish they’d leaned into Morning’s lingering doubts, which would if anything have served to highlight that he does have good reason to stay. It’s just that those reasons don’t cancel out the doubts.)

#friends at the table #twilight mirage #ok i said last but i already feel another post boiling up in me about some comparisons austin made between c/w and tm but #i think i'll save that #for another time.

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lettheriverflow · 3 years

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An Interview with Tavis Amosford

Jaime Molina: Please introduce yourself.

Tavis Amosford: I'm a Devon based artist and have been here for a large portion of my life having originally come from London. I've been interested in photography since September 2014 when I got to play around with an old analogue camera that I had picked up from a car boot sale. Currently I'm working on 2 projects one I can't really sum up apart from that it will revolve around a recent obsession with moths. The second project that I'm focusing on at the moment Is an exploration into Devon's folkloric customs and how these relate to the landscape in which they inhabit.

JM: I really want to know more about the first project. Could you talk a little bit more about it? What is it about moths that interests you so much?

TA: I started to get the idea during the first lockdown as I was dissatisfied with trying to work on my project on folklore. I found I was unable to get out of my city and thus to the locations of interest. Out of this I started to experiment with more localised photography such as still life within my own home purely as a means of expression and to keep focus. The main interest in moths as a central theme for the work comes from the short essay The Death of The Moth by Virginia Woolf, which explores the futile yet powerful attempts of a moth to cling onto life whilst in death throes.

The essay is set from the perspective of an onlooker, I became fascinated with the connection of the micro with the macro. As Well as the connection Woolfe makes to our own situation on this planet and often the beauty in the futility of will power in the face of certainty. The project is very much a metaphorical exploration into the life cycles of moths in relation to our own sense of purpose.

JM: This year has been tough for photographers as we haven't been able to travel and produce work outside our everyday environment, how has the lockdown affected your practice?

TA: I think lockdown has definitely caused me to reevaluate my practice especially in terms of how I want to see it progress into the future. I would say the main change is that I have become more critically aware and have become dissatisfied with trying to box myself into an artistic category. It's hard to say exactly how it will manifest but I don't want to focus on purely documentary or even just photography for that matter as I move forward.

JM: What work are you looking at to get inspired? and what other art mediums would you like to explore?

TA: I would say that "Sleep Creek" by Dylan Hausthor and Paul Guilmoth has been hugely inspiring. Especially in terms of their approach to photography as a form of world building. Apart from photography the Sculpture Gardens of Veijo Rönkkönen have piqued my interest lately, There's something about the juxtaposition of his reclusive lifestyle with the mass of work he created that shows a passion for art completely separate from our modern people pleasing art world. This is something that I've found a lot of inspiration from for my own practice.

I've always been into a wide range of different mediums although more centring around reproducible arts that allow for printing, whether that's photography or Lino. I think that in the future I would like to explore an art form such as pottery which is heavily about the creation of a one-off object.

JM: Why is it important for you to challenge the current/modern perception of art?

TA: I think at least in terms of the art I produce and like to consume, that to some extent a lot of it feels as if it is falling into a mould or at least has a very similar progression and trajectory of evolution. I believe this is predominantly a mark of social media as well as the societal pressures of making a financially sustainable practice. This also forces conformity in terms of censorship and social norms, whilst also gratifying you for providing images that the largest amount of people appreciate. For me it becomes important to question this modern perception of art, mainly out of annoyance at how comfortable it feels to produce work I subconsciously believe people want to see. Within future work, I hope that I can break away from any notions I may have as to what I should be creating.

JM: Why did you submit that image to LTRF?

TA: I would describe my image as a quiet moment, it feels mundane yet almost nostalgic in subject matter. I enjoyed how the pairing almost began to create a narrative link between the two, being that the other image also felt sombre. I was also drawn to the juxtapositions in textures and tones between the fabrics of both images, they just had a very natural flow.

JM: Lastly, What is your favourite moth? & If you could give yourself any advice right now what would it be?

TA: I definitely have to go with The Death Head Hawk moth, purely because of how uncanny it is that they have a pattern resembling a human skull on their back.

In Terms of advice, I would tell myself to experiment more and to not necessarily worry about how it will fit into a larger body of work.

___________

Tavis Amosford https://www.tavisamosford.com

Let The River Flow on Instagram

Issue 2. Available to Pre-Order now.

#photography #LTRFINTERVIEWS #lettheriverflow #Interviews

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nocoffinplease · 4 years

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10.14

i firmly believe in and want my relationship(s) to be fueled by compassion first. wife, to me, means the person who is put first in a partnership, even a nonmonogamous one, and as such, a wife should feel cherished, considered, and chosen in a relationship. if a problem my partner is facing that could potentially affect me arises, i want it to be discussed with me so our concerns are understood and an agreed-upon plan can be made. i want my partner to have life experiences and company and fun outside of me, but i want to be thought about throughout and, should the fun impact our regular routine, be informed of it in a timely way so i can plan. it’s not that i think lennon’s “trust me” approach is bad or wrong for him to hold, but it’s always been an uphill battle to “just trust” someone when i’ve had many bad experiences having my trust violated.

speaking of, and it’s hard to say, but there are some ways in which i don’t trust lennon (and i’m sure he feels the same way about me, as i’ve not been the most stable or emotionally regulated partner all the time). i don’t trust him to use kind language or speak in a way that fosters an equal exchange of ideas and feelings when there’s a problem; it’s hard for me to express myself and my needs when i know this is a person who has said that they hate me, the sound of my crying makes him want to hang himself, that i have sex exclusively with unattractive men, and resorts to passive aggression, and condescending language to make a point or get what he wants. i understand saying things you don’t mean in moments of despair and anger, but the times and ways in which he has weaponized anger against me has created a massive mental block for me where i am afraid of what he might say if i express a dissenting opinion. he has also casually lashed out at me in public and in front of my friends in ways that were hurtful and very embarrassing. an incident at a nightclub from 2018 still stands out in my best friend’s mind and has permanently tainted the way she sees lennon and our relationship. even if he claims he didn’t mean it because he was drunk, it’s hard to not internalize these remarks, especially if he shows the remarks to be subtly true through behavior and casual remarks, like judging the appearances and attitudes of my partners, asking to see their photos and going “eh he’s okay” or “they’re ugly-hot” for example. i sometimes find it difficult to relax around lennon or be fully myself, because i fear inconveniencing him and negative judgment, so i tend to overly-apologize or ask if things are okay a lot in anticipation of that. in general, he can be extremely negative about people, media, and things he doesn’t like, and it affects the things i choose to share with him, whether it’s a movie or a band or a game or what i watch on TV as he gets home from work. i’ve been privy to conversations in which he has asked how anyone can love or enjoy something that i or close friends truly enjoy, eviscerating the media and the people who consume it, but then qualify that it’s “not about you guys” and that we don’t need to take it so personally. it’s hard operating under that level of judgment, and i think there’s a difference between being constructively critical, having a friendly debate, or simply saying “eh, not for me,” versus getting “viscerally mad” when he sees someone’s art project and thinking “they could have spent their time so much better,” and occasionally the intensity with which he declares his disagreement is overwhelming to me. i love when people are passionate about their interests and ideas, but when they are punctuated by negativity, it’s hard to listen and share in the idea, and this happens with lennon quite a bit. his interests get shared and indulged in, but mine don’t as often. as a result, my self esteem is pretty low, and i keep to myself more often than not.

i don’t trust the way he speaks about me when i’m not around, in part because of what i’ve been told by other people and in part because of how i’ve heard him speak about other people he ostensibly loves in front of me. recently he popped into my room to tell me that two things he likes about me are my enjoyment of horror movies “because shanti is a big pussy baby about them,” and that “shanti is tone deaf but [i] can hold a tune.” it didn’t lift my spirits to be complimented as a conditional to someone else that i care about being put down. this, in addition to the “helen is like a really nice sedan” remark has made me wonder in what other ways i’ve maybe been put down too. i completely understand venting about a partner's imperfections and shortcomings to a safe space, but it just bothers me to know that i’ve been spoken about in ways that have made several people uncomfortable to interact with me and participate in our polyamory dynamic.

i don’t feel like i can trust him to go through with big commitments for our future. at some point, lennon decided that he was not going to pursue a job in engineering or a job that at least had the potential for stability and upward mobility adjacent to his field. this, in addition to returning to college and graduating was a huge condition when it came to my parents letting him live with me on their property, very cheaply. though there wasn’t anything binding, i (and my family) was led to believe that he would follow the agreed upon trajectory of “go back to school, get a degree in something, start a career.” i offered to do his resume before he graduated and he didn’t give me feedback on it or work with me to get it completed. i asked him about getting a 9-5 after he requested 6 months to take a break, and he told me and my family to stop bothering him, he didn’t want to get back on adderall which he said he’d need for an office job, and i respected that. when he proposed to me late last year, he said afterwards that he was going to seek out a more stable job and move on from the restaurant, and get back on adderall with the help of my insurance benefits. the pandemic happened, which i completely understand has thrown off the economy and our day-to-day life, but he had time across the last two years to start the process of jobseeking and planning for our long-term future, and he has not actively pursued a job that could keep him, and i, safer during the pandemic. the electrician apprenticeship was decided across the last couple of months, and though i genuinely respect trades and the pursuit of them, this wasn’t a longtime idea he had put on the backburner and is revisiting: it feels like another pitstop on the road towards a thriving future, wherein he’ll take a paycut and have to get ANOTHER four year education. again, i had no idea that lennon, at some point in our relationship, did not want an office job, but instead of broaching that to me, he made me feel bad for nagging, so i stopped. even after our session last week, when things were pretty intense at home, he asked if “[i] wanna do my resume” to apply and look for more safe gigs, and when i asked if he actually wanted to, he said no way, but he wanted to put in the effort for me. i appreciate that effort, but at the same time, if the effort is only being put in after i express massive dissatisfaction and it’s not what my husband genuinely wants to do but is doing *for me* instead, i feel guilty and like the effort is compensatory instead of one truly desired. i’ve taken on jobs that weren’t my favorite or were extremely hard, but i did it for the sake of building my own experience and legitimacy in my career, because i was thinking about the future, OUR future, and what comes next. lennon vehemently rejects that the spontaneous “anything goes” lifestyle he enjoys so much isn’t powered by my stability and responsibility, at least in part, but i genuinely believe otherwise, and i don’t think this notion is appreciated at all.

lennon is very kind most of the time, but on occasion, he will speak to me in ways that feel manipulative. this is a little different from my first paragraph in that i don’t think he means to do it, but it affects my ability to be honest and make choices that are right for me. after solo therapy sessions he asked me how it went, to which i responded, “it was good but intense, and of course i still love you” because once he asked me, jokingly after a session, if i still loved him. he asked, “do you still want to be with me?” and i answered truthfully, which is that i do, but i’m also currently figuring out important things about myself, and that ideally those things line up. he said “okay” in a kind of passive-aggressive and dissatisfied way, and when i pressed further he was like “that doesn’t do anything to reassure me.” he has repeatedly said that if “anyone would be leaving, it’d be [me],” and that if i did, he’d be “really in the lurch.” he told me last week that “[he] WAS happy in our relationship [before all this], and if he wasn’t it was a reaction to my dissatisfaction.” he has implied that my family and platonic loved ones are “unknowingly proselytizing for the only way they've ever known to keep relationships together, but [he] emphatically reject[s] that perspective” when it comes to me seeking advice and input from the outside. i know i’m trying to do better to not solely triangulate with other people to form my thoughts and feelings, this is the most honest and me account i’ve given about my feelings so far, but the tone of that is concerning. a lot of things are.

i genuinely DON’T know what’s next. lennon could quit the restaurant, get that stable gig, begin prioritizing me more, and adjust his negative mindsets to positive ones, which would be great. but if by doing that, would he be going against his own values, vision, personality and goals? nobody has improved themselves quicker or more efficiently with someone tapping a metaphorical watch, but how long CAN i wait? are these things even guaranteed? would he be okay with a more hierarchal polyamorous relationship? i don’t know. but i know that i’m at least trying to put my values, my fears, my wants, and my self out there as best as possible. i genuinely love lennon very much, there are a lot of things i love about him, but above all, i want him and i to be maximally happy in life without holding ourselves, or each other, back.

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destiny-smasher · 7 years

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Life is Strange: Before the Storm (Episode 1)

I’ve spent so much time discussing this prequel over the past few months, it’s a bit tricky to try and sum up things into something readable. As lengthy as this post is, there’s plenty of details I have to let go of. I’d like to lay out my biggest pros, cons, and a bit of commentary on how I feel about its very conception and potential intent, along with some casual predictions.

I was very critical of this project from the moment it was leaked, but I quickly grew to support Deck Nine, the studio developing the game, because it was easy to see how passionate and thoughtful they were being. Makes sense, right? The sort of dev team who would want to take on a Life is Strange story would probably be the sort to be mindful of just how delicate such an undertaking is. Square-Enix, however, gradually frustrated me more and more, and their choices and actions with this entire project kept me on my guard all summer. With the first episode released, I can confirm my feelings about both companies’ involvement haven’t changed -- I’m still very supportive of Deck Nine, and I’m still rather frustrated and confused with Square-Enix. This first episode helped prove to me to that the developer definitely does have their heart in the right place, and has the ability to realize the same kind of potential one might expect from a follow up to such a special game. I have my concerns, but to be honest, most of them have arisen from Square-Enix's questionable setup to this project and the premise of the game itself bothering me on a core level.

With most video game releases, the way a game is marketed or how it's conceived is rarely important to me. However, Life is Strange was a special indie game that doesn’t come along often. Before I discuss the actual game itself, I feel compelled to bring up the reveal and marketing of this project. We of course don't know the full story, but what we do know has unfortunately colored the whole project with a weird shade. Setting aside the interpersonal experiences I've run into with fellow fansm I will say that at the heart of my concerns is the unshakable feeling that DontNod did not want this game to get made. The feeling that DontNod, who created these characters and this world, wanted those characters to be left alone. That's just speculation at this time, but everything I've seen and heard seems to point in this direction, and while that's not the developer's problem, it is the publisher's. When an indie team creates such an earnest indie game with a strong emphasis on narrative and themes about regret and not being able to fix the past, goes on to say the story is done and they're going to leave it alone, it's pretty damn odd to me to proceed with producing a prequel about the past, ditching the protagonist of the original story, and focusing on two women who we know meet unfortunate fates. Oh, and the actual creators of the characters aren't involved. Oh, and neither are the actors. AND it's not gonna connect its story to the original game because it's “stand-alone” (why make a prequel, then?). AND it's going to cost more but have fewer episodes. AND the fourth episode is conveyed as a thinly veiled cash grab to get fans of the first game to ante up for the Deluxe Edition right away. When a pre-existing narrative has been around for years, and its creators have had ample time to consider how they might expand upon their own story and are ready to let it go, then I'm much more understanding of giving the reigns to someone new who might have that interest. It must've been barely a year since Life is Strange was finished, however, before Square set this prequel into motion. That's way too soon to hand those keys off to someone else entirely, especially if those who created the keys weren't happy about it. The fact that it has taken all summer for DontNod to even acknowledge the game's existence is suspicious, and at this point, even a positively spun statement would come across as legally obligatory pleasantries. I have confidence that both dev teams have mutual respect for one another, but the seeming lack of communication between them with regards to such a delicate story is unfortunate, and I just hope that whatever Deck Nine is doing, the core concept of it was approved by DontNod as a team – or that they at least end up happy with it. Now, let me take a step back from this and point out that Square has made steps to try and correct and reassure concerns folks have had, and that's good. But a lot of it has come across as damage control for fires that shouldn't have even started. All right. There's my frustration with Square-Enix out of the way. Let's move on to the actual episode that has been released. I went into this game feeling very wary, worried, and concerned. I walked away from it feeling...pretty OK, and even pleasantly surprised by parts of it. I will be discussing the game freely, so if you have not experienced the story and don't want to know about any details beforehand, you should stop reading this now and come back when you're ready.

Partway through this I stop referring to Deck Nine in the third person and begin addressing them directly, partly because I'm honestly writing this as a personal expression to them, specifically, because I really do think they have a lot of skills being put to work, and I want to provide useful criticism, support, and feedback, which they've personally expressed an interest in. So, Madeleine, Felice, and anyone else at Deck Nine who might be reading this, I just want to express that it really means a lot to see your team interacting with us fans so directly and openly. I can say that I feel like Deck Nine “gets it” when it comes to what made Life is Strange special, how it connected to people, and what kind of overall aesthetic and tone it has. It's a shame that the concept of the story itself places things in such a bizarre, trapped kind of position, though. I've had so many conversations about this game in the past few months, I'm not even really sure what I would like for it to do as a game or as a prequel. Most angles I've approached it with just end up leaving me feeling worried and dissatisfied. Some things are better left alone. I honestly still feel like this story was one of those things – but, to be fair, that story still hasn't been fully told yet. And this first episode has certainly illustrated that there is intent at work here. This doesn't feel like a cash grab or something purely being made for fanservice. And yet, I still can't see where it could go within the bounds that they've laid out and still coalesce with its source material in a way that is fulfilling and meaningful. I've been vocal in the past that for as much as I love Life is Strange, I found its climax to be unfulfilling, illogical, and self-defeating. If Before the Storm can manage to somehow lead things into the original game's story in a way that can make sense of things (ex. the titular 'Storm'), my feelings about the nature of the overarcing story itself could change drastically. From where I'm standing right now, though, this story still feels pointless and unnecessary. And I really hope that by the end, that changes. When it comes to Chloe, Rachel, and essentially everything relating to them, we don't really learn anything new in this episode. Nothing mind-blowing or revelatory is given to us. On the upside, it means that things basically line up with pre-existing canon, makes fine sense, and even reaffirms things that were implied in Life is Strange. On the downside, the narrative feels like it's spinning its tires here in terms of plot, shoving these two characters together in a way that feels rushed and forced while simultaneously not going anywhere with them. If you look at the actual plot of this episode, and compare it to Max's, the stakes are so much lower, the trajectory of the protagonists so much more unclear, and the character development itself much more shallow. This is not a knock on Deck Nine's abilities so much as the choice of content. Chloe Price was already in such a bad place at age 19. Go back three years and...she doesn't exactly have much room to grow, and even if she does, what's the point when we already know where she ends up? When we already know where Rachel ends up? (and if this all some alternate universe thing, given that AU's are already established as a canonical aspect of this lore, it's gonna be super tricky to make that concept not feel hamfisted if it's gonna be a big plot reveal later) There's clearly more compelling stuff going on with Rachel if only because we don't truly know Rachel, and I do like that this episode sets up some dramatic things for her, but I'm still left feeling like I don't really get a sense of what her arc is supposed to be here. When you're telling a story with only three episodes, it can go a long way to make clear – by showing, not telling – what is at stake for the characters, and what their goals are. I get that this is a story about teenage drama, but even Max, who was such an uncertain character, had an opening act that established very clearly what her goals were, and what internal and external obstacles she was going to have to confront. With this story, that clear sense of direction is missing. To be fair, that very well could be intentional, given the emphasis on mystery, trickery, and such. And part of the problem is that there's sort of a 'ceiling' for where this narrative can feasibly go, and thus how these characters could be developed. Again – the very premise itself is, in a lot of ways, holding the story back, and that's a shame. It's a shame because on a technical level, there is a lot of good stuff going on here. The overall aesthetic, the themes, the writing, it all does feel in-line with the source material. While the painterly vibes of the original game are replaced with a bit more flat of a visual design, seeing the character's faces actually emote in a noticeably more detailed way is a technical improvement over the original, and was actually something I was very excited to see. In a way the first game couldn't really achieve, there are even moments here that let the visual expressions alone tell story beats. The music is good, but I actually felt like a lot of the episode was too quiet on this front. While this does heighten the impact of the music later on, the actual story beats didn't quite match the intensity of the music for me. Even the montage at the end felt a little off, like it was trying to replicate the ending of the first episode of Life is Strange but rushed through things too quickly. The subtle addition of more detailed sound effects was great, though. Like the expressions on the faces, those additional sound details put another layer of depth to the setting. The camera angles in particular were another noticeably upgrade from the presentation of the original game. On the downside, some scenes felt very awkward – controlling Chloe through the world in general felt particularly clunkier and harder to do than moving Max around; certain moments that expect you to control the camera in order to pick options, like the clothing bit, were also weird and unclear at first, in a way that didn't occur in the first game, maybe because they usually kept the camera behind Max's back? On the upside, there were a lot of cinematic choices I really liked that fleshed out the presentation, from Chloe grabbing her phone in the bathroom to the neat stuff during the 'Smash' scene in the junkyard to the angles during the tabletop game...just a lot of more dynamic and intriguing camera angles. I honestly wish there were even more “reflection” moments, like Max would often have. The moment with Chloe smoking was a great parallel between the characters while capturing that same reflective vibe. The writing isn't exactly going to turn heads, and there's still a fair amount of corny dialogue (mostly when characters are trying too hard to be 'edgy' or 'sassy'), but the original game had this, too, and usually, it just ends up feeling like that same kind of honest cheesiness you might expect. Some moments, however, the writing gets distractably bad – mainly, the Backtalk sequences, and a couple of clunky dialogue sequences like Chloe's chat with Joyce (which can feel unbalanced and off). The Backtalk is a fine idea on paper, but in practice it's just...taking something away, rather than adding to things. The timer puts unneeded pressure on the player, and lends these segments to be more about random guessing or shallow word play than any kind of legitimate, thoughtful intimidation. I do like the idea of Chloe being an asshole to intimidate people, but it, erh, does kind of feel odd to be encouraged to be an unnecessary dickhead to people who usually don't really deserve it because they're just trying to do their jobs. This is Chloe's character, though, and she is the opposite of Max, especially at this point in their lives, so I get the intent. But the dialogue here is at its weakest, its mechanically unclear and ultimately feels kind of pointless. My recommendation for making it more engaging would be to make it more like what it feels inspired by: the sword fighting in Monkey Island. Let the player use info they've previously obtained to give them more options during an 'encounter' without making it obvious when those options are useful (like finding those bits of things to bring up to Joyce at the house). Give them time to consider their choices, and in turn make the actual dialogue that ensues feel less like hamfisted schoolyard playground disses and more like actual intimidation. I think there's some potential to this mechanic but it needs work. Hopefully, by episode 3, we'll be in for some legitimately intense Backtalk sequences in circumstances that actually warrant threats and intimidation. Noteworthy moment – the wine-theft scene was...just...yeesh. Given the tone of most of this episode, that scene in particular just felt weird, like we were transported from an indie teen drama and into a Nickelodeon cartoon. I've seen the argument made that this scene was intentionally goofy in order to lower the player's guard so the junkyard scene hit us with more 'oomph,' but...yea, I'd recommend tackling the humor in the more organic way you were able to with most of this episode, like the D&D scene. Speaking of which – wow, what a pleasant surprise that was! That scene in particular, I think, really showed what you guys are capable of. Even the Backtalk mechanic's finickiness was less noticeable here because of the less serious context. Getting to meet new characters who were adorable and realisticwas such a treat – much more interesting and engaging to me than the somewhat predictable interaction with Victoria, which felt kind of tacked on for fanservice. The D&D scene felt organic, original, and charming. I especially loved the detail where if Chloe has read Joyce's self-help book earlier, she whips out the phrase she read if the player chooses to encourage Mikey. This was my favorite scene in the episode, and it had nothing to do with Chloe Price being present, or even being tied to Life is Strange in any way. I admit in my own interpretation of the characters for All Wounds, I've written Chloe making D&D references due to a history of playing it with Max – so there's some personal bias that helps elevate this scene for me, but still, I think this was a great scene. Likewise, the 'two truths and a lie' scene was also a game played via dialogue choices, and it, too, felt organic and fresh, using the players' element of choice to more readily establish a connection to the world and what its characters were doing (as opposed to just grilling someone for information or to just move the plot along). In terms of the overall tone and emotion of this episode, the dream sequences were an intriguing callback to Max's Nightmare. There were many interesting details there which made it feel genuinely connected to future events in this forboding way, so I hope there's something intentional there. On that note, I found the imagery of Max hanging to death on a tree branch to be...a bit too much. This is coming from someone who relishes that darker kind of imagery, but usually that's when the character being attacked is actually present within the narrative. The frequency and intensity of Max-bashing going on in this episode made me uncomfortable and that 'hangman' imagery even felt kind of disrespectful to Max's character. I'm not going to do what others have done and jump to conclusions about 'ohhh they're portraying Max as an asshole' or what-not. In truth, I felt what you've expressed with those letters was so intense and angry that it has an intent. After all, the original game had a strength in showing one side of a character to set up a broad expectation, only to subvert it later to remind us that real life human beings are three-dimensional. The implication I pick up from all of this Max-hating is that it's there to show us just how special Max was to Chloe, just how painful it is for her to face their disconnection, and thus just how meaningful it is for Chloe, three years later, when Max finally reappears (which, I mean, simultaneously has me questioning exactly what your plan is with Rachel, given the layers of context here). I really hope the story you're telling will somehow end up somewhere that subverts all of this Max-hating toward what the original game ultimately does with Max and Chloe. From where I'm standing right now, just one episode in, it feels over the top and unnecessary, but again, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that there's a purpose there. The fact that Max is even dressed how she is three years in the future, and the fact that her text states she's see Chloe when she dies – which is, literally, how things play out – combined with the overt 'All Seeing Eye,' and how Chloe's dream even foretold how Rachel would start the fire, all of this feels thought out and intentional, rather than mere coincidence. I certainly hope that's the case, as a story precursing one about time travel could certainly incorporate supernatural foresight in interesting ways. This brings me into the aspect of the supernatural. I was a little offput by how interviews and PR stuff tried to tell us there'd be no supernatural elements at play when it seems apparent that there will be. When a story lies to its audience, that's fine, but when the physical, real-life people are lying about it, that's dodgy. I'm honestly more intrigued by the supernatural stuff here than I ever thought I'd be, and I think it's because between the foresight element of the dreams, the spirit animal implications, and the unnatural wind projected onto Rachel's fire, it tickles my imagination with the possibility of “Oh shit, could this story actually end up implying an explanation behind Life is Strange's biggest plot hole?” The title, 'Before the Storm,' the name of the Platinum trophy, 'Bring on the Storm,' and the premise of the fourth episode focusing on Max and Chloe all further adds to this gut feeling for me that you might actually be trying to fill in some blanks with the origin of the tornado. Because, frankly, the tornado in Max's story is my saltiest issue with everything in those five episodes, so the idea of some kind of explanation tying it together with Rachel and Chloe's past is actually very intriguing to me.

Here's the thing, though: no matter what your team has planned, no matter what big plot twist you might have in store, someone out here in the fandom has already predicted it, and for others it might not even feel too surprising by the time we get there. Either way, surprise and shock value are an exciting but fleeting emotion. I genuinely hope that whatever climax this story is leading up to, you focus more on the execution and establishing a rational resolution rather than just trying to grab “the feels.” I can already tell from this first episode that you've thought ahead with this stuff. From way back when your game was unfortunately leaked, a single question on a marker board has kept me intrigued by what this story will hopefully explore: “Is Rachel good?” I think that question has already been implicitly brought up in this episode, and while the technical plot hasn't moved much of anywhere yet, the prospect of this question, the different themes it could entail, and how it could ultimately flesh out Chloe's background and this world, are all things that have me more interested than I expected. While I think the core relationship of this prequel has been pushed too quickly and illogically, it's true that teens can make decisions irrationally and have sudden bursts of intense emotion – Rachel's angry fits were an example of this I didn't actually expect from her, but now feel almost like I should have, and I also feel a sense of intent with that. Part of me feels like I should talk more about Rachel and Chloe's relationship here, but honestly, I'm just having a hard time feeling invested. I don't think it's because anything is “wrong,” I mean...it makes enough sense for them, given all we learned about them in the original game. I guess it's just that knowing how things turn out – and Rachel's evident role in that – is disconcerting to just how quickly Chloe is diving into this, and how too eagerly Rachel is to pull her in. It makes me feel just as wary about Rachel as would've expected to, and maybe that's the point. Of special note are the very interesting parallels you've drawn between characters from Shakespeare's The Tempest and Rachel, Chloe, and Nathan. Very fascinating implications, I adore the intertextuality here, and the literal 'storm' imagery makes it such a great fit to be drawing from. I'm expecting to see some kind of meaningful payoff here, as well. You might notice that a lot of what I'm saying at this point is basically me seeing seeds you've planted, and expecting those to germinate and grow by the end here. Three episodes is a very short storytelling space, though. I'm worried about just how fulfilling these threads can be resolved, and I admit that how this story ultimately concludes will probably play a huge part in how I ultimately feel about it. But, at the very least, I hope this helps you get a grasp on what kinds of thoughts your story has put into the head of someone who is very invested in this world. I'll confess that I'm maybe not as hyped to see more as I was with the original game. And so much of this prequel makes me feel...just, weird, in a bad way. But, I will just as readily confess that most of what I am worried about or am taking issue with doesn't really have to do with your efforts as a creative team, but rather, the very nature of what this story is in relation to the source material, and the creators of these characters not really being present. I think that for a first software release for a new dev team, this is some great stuff, and to be blunt, I am actually more excited for whatever your team will be working on a year from now – hopefully something entirely your own? – than for this prequel. I'm certainly curious to see what Before the Storm does, and how you continue to build off of this start, but I just want your team to know that I'm already more excited to see what you come up with down the road when you've established yourselves and don't have these unnecessary weights to be contending with. I think this episode's strongest moments don't actually rely on its connections to Life is Strange at all, they just happen to inhabit Arcadia Bay – which you have been able to recapture well, at the same time. There are some discrepancies, a couple questionable details that don't seem to line up, and the incessant Max-bashing feels super weird, but as someone else who's written fan-made content with this world, I can understand the delicate nature of trying to set up dominoes someone else made and trying to line them up in a way where they’ll topple in an elegant fashion. With everyone shouting in your ears that can’t make it easier, but I see such attention to detail in your work that I have much more faith than I did a month ago that as long as the story culminates into something meaningful and satisfying, I think a lot of those 'weird' things some fans are feeling right now will be easier to let go of. And even if things go south with this project, I think you’ve already established the potential your team has. Good luck with the next three episodes. I went into this feeling so much anxiety, fear, and doubt, and while not all of that has been resolved, I'm at least relieved that the team working on this seems to be capable, passionate, and up to the task.

#Life is Strange #Before the Storm #LiS BtS #Life is Strange Before the Storm

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