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cannedpickledpeaches · 2 days

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Insert Your Name (10)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to part one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!

Notes and TW: You have a conversation with a "god." This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-enjoyer @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe @chikitasmol @night-shadowblood-writes2 @haveneulalie @owodi

You thought as much for a while—that this world exists inside a story. This world is created for “(Y/N),” and you are Friend A, according to that manuscript. But after all this time, your own thoughts and Jade’s persistent questioning has led you to doubt it. Jade was the one who said you aren’t a character, that the two of you have “thoughts and feelings that go beyond ink on paper.”

But a god? It isn’t a common word in Twisted Wonderland. The Seven are legends, but they were real mages who lived millennia past. Some religions exist, but they’re mostly local. To see someone proclaim themself as a god before your eyes seems like a joke.

The man notes your skepticism and chuckles.

“I only mean it in relation to your abilities. It will become clear as I explain.” He takes another sip of tea. “Twisted Wonderland is a place made from stories, for stories. Broadly speaking, it is a ‘story setting.’ And my purpose is to make stories come to life.”

You try to make sense of his words. Referring to himself as a god, talking about what he does to stories . . . . “Are you the author of that manuscript?”

“No, I’m afraid you have come to the wrong conclusion. I make stories come to life, but it has been a long time since I’ve penned one onto paper. As for the matter of the identity of the author, you would not have to look very far, as she has spoken to you only moments prior.”

You inhale sharply. Your eyes drift to the window as your thoughts start to whirl. That can only be (Y/N). She was the author all along? It would make sense since she’s the main character. But nothing else adds up. Her odd behaviour, her breakdown, her supposedly lost memories of you. You’re also pretty sure she has never met Jade prior to the events of the manuscript playing out in real life. How could she have written it before that? Furthermore, you don’t believe (Y/N) could ever be the type of person to imagine harm coming to anyone, even in a fictional story, even if it’s to Jade’s parents whom she has also never met.

“To clarify, that person is not the one you’ve known for some time.” He chuckles at your bewilderment. “(Y/N) was a character created to be a placeholder. Tell me, do you recall her appearance?”

“Of course I—” You cut yourself off. The only things you can think of are adjectives. Pretty. Dainty. A messy bun. A slim waist. Gorgeous, sparkling eyes. You can’t even remember their colour.

“(Y/N), which stands for ‘Your Name,’ is a placeholder. A blank space where anyone can insert their name.” The teacup clinks against its saucer. “It is supposed to be a one-size-fit all. However, the (Y/N) you know was created for a specific person. The name that was intended to replace this placeholder is that of a girl who lives outside this story setting—a girl who did not exist in Twisted Wonderland. That is the true author of this story.”

You don’t understand what he means by “placeholder.” But you know what he means by people who live outside your world. You recall the twins and Azul mentioning something similar. Shrimpy. Prefect. That human from their high school days, someone who supposedly came from another world. Someone who did not exist in Twisted Wonderland before coming here.

“Were there other cases of . . . well, people from other worlds?”

“Certainly. Like I said, Twisted Wonderland is a place made from stories, for stories. Seeing as tales of strangers in strange lands are the foundation for many stories, from folklore to modern novels, it is not strange to believe someone could be the protagonist of a story where they are pulled from another world to this one.” He pauses when he sees your furrowed brows. “I must apologize again. I am often chastised for my long-winded deliveries.”

“Yeah, you talk too much. Cut the fluff and tell me.”

He chuckles. “Yes, of course. The most recent prior to this case was one named Yuu, although that character was not under my jurisdiction. Your author, however, is under my jurisdiction. She was a fan of Yuu’s story. Once it ended, she sought to extend the story. Essentially, she wrote a fanfiction, which is the very manuscript you stumbled upon. The setting is Twisted Wonderland years after Yuu's story, and the main character she created is an idealistic version of herself—the person she wished she could be.”

It makes sense why you could only think of positive adjectives when describing her. (Y/N) was indeed, like you’d thought from the start, created to be perfect.

“Day after day, she wished with all her soul to insert herself into that story, to live out that fantasy. Eventually, I heard her wishes and decided to grant them. I gave her the opportunity to enter (Y/N)’s body.”

“You can do that?”

“My dear,” he says pleasantly, “there was a reason why I likened myself to a god from your perspective.”

So they weren’t empty words or narcissism. This man has powers you have never even heard of.

The first thing you feel is a wave of relief. So the person who came screaming at you with the intent to kill was not (Y/N), after all. It was someone who took over her body. A stranger took over the body of your beloved friend, took over her life, her relationships, her autonomy . . . A stranger. The second thing you feel is anger. How dare they. How dare they waltz in and ruin everything? You keep quiet and listen to the man’s explanation, resentment bubbling in your gut.

“So the author abandoned her previous life to enter your world. It came with a few caveats: she must lose her name and run the course of the story as (Y/N). Only after the story’s conclusion would she regain her name. Another caveat was that she did not have access to (Y/N)’s memories. I imagine it was a point of curiosity for you—why she seemed to forget everything about who you are.”

You narrow your eyes. “It wasn’t Walrus?”

“I am afraid not. She has never encountered Walrus.”

Deductions and contemplations can be wrong. You know this better than anyone. Yet, you can’t help but feel cheated. With all the information you had, how could you possibly have known? It’s as though you were blindsided by a truck. Looking back, it makes sense. The elusive identity of the author. How the manuscript contains insider knowledge about events concerning the Leech family. Of course it does, the author was the one who wrote those details into existence. Even her reaction to seeing you on the beach, which must have been her first time meeting you. Of course she was confused when Jade mentioned you to her. You don’t have a name in the story. How could she possibly know the name of Friend A?

“Walrus is a character who ties up inconsistencies from the original plot. I had to work hard to ensure it all fell in line.”

“Aren’t you a ‘god?’ Can’t you just, I don’t know, make it happen?”

He laughs. “I am not omnipotent. I can only influence factors that make the story more likely to happen. As in, I can create ‘events,’ which influence ‘responses and actions.’ Characters are defined by their base character traits and then shaped through events; this is what is called character development. I design and set into motion events that will most likely produce the desired characterization. Notably, I cannot control characters or their emotions. I must say, that young lady did not understand this concept very well. Her events were heavily focused on what her favourite characters could do for (Y/N), as opposed to building a foundation so they would wish to do such things. It was rather difficult to make sure the pieces fell in place so those events could occur.”

Several things connect in your mind like a line of dominoes tipping each other over. The manual first appeared in that attic with no clear origin—he must have planted it there because you, Jade, and Floyd are the only people who enter that room. Jade fell asleep in (Y/N)’s apartment because he was busy to the point of exhaustion after taking up the mantle as the leader of the mafia. (Y/N) did not become Floyd’s mood stabilizer. Jade did not fall in love with her. When she—the author—confronted you on the beach, she blamed you as the reason why Jade would not love her. But that isn’t entirely true, is it? Her “events”—Jade cooking for her, sleeping in the same bed—relies on Jade already having feelings for her. But to Jade, she was a stranger he met in an alley. You understand a crucial fact: actions and emotions cannot be manipulated.

“I admit that I panicked and caused you alarm when I tried to send you and Jade away from that beach. That whole debacle was not an event in the story, so I caused some factors that led to Floyd accidentally breaking one of Jade’s terrariums. It was not a serious emergency.” He grows pensive. “But now that the story has gone completely off the rails, I must figure out how to proceed. The author is quite upset with me, especially since she thought with my help, the story was guaranteed to go exactly as written.”

“You were communicating with her?”

“Periodically, yes.” He sips his tea, looking directly at you. “But she was terribly hard-headed and refused to listen to my words.”

What a waste. She had a god on her side, yet she couldn’t use her brain to take advantage of it? Perhaps it’s your bias against her, but you can’t think well of the author.

“Why did you decide to grant her wish, anyway?”

The man lowers his gaze with a soft smile. “I am a storyteller at heart, and she had a story she desperately wanted to become her reality.”

You grit your teeth. “So what? It’s only made things difficult for everyone. Is that shitty story even worth telling?”

“What do you use to judge a story’s worth? The number of people who read it? The number of critics or fans? These are all irrelevant.” His eyes, though gentle in the warm light of the fireplace, hold silvery clarity and resolution from the moonlight. “All that matters is that one person found enjoyment in it. Even if the only person who loves a story is its author, that story has served its purpose. There is no such thing as a meaningless story. Every writer sets out to write a story for a reason, be it wealth, fame, personal satisfaction, a creative outlet . . . . Why do you think this author wrote hers?”

It doesn’t take a genius. Her obsessive, near delusional insistence that Jade loves her. Her breakdown from seeing the two of you together on that beach. Her malice towards you, perceived to be standing in the way of her love. Of her happiness.

“She wanted to be loved.”

She wrote a story where she could project herself onto a perfect, infallible main character. In this story, her favourite character would love and spoil her. They’d overcome trials and eventually live out their happily ever after, blissfully in love, even past the story she wrote. She wanted to be loved fully, completely, and unconditionally.

You feel a little sorry for her. But if you were to be honest . . .

“Why the fuck should I care?” You slam your hands on the coffee table, glaring at the man sitting across from you. Your hands curl into fists. “I don’t give a shit about her personal life. Jade and Floyd’s parents are in a coma. They’ve been worried sick. And that’s just fine? Because she wanted to live in her little fantasy of being loved? If I believe everything you say, then she’s the one who wrote that assassination into our lives. Without her, Mister and Missus Leech would be perfectly fine and running everything as usual. Jade and Floyd wouldn’t be missing sleep and meals. Jade could go study terrestrial plants and fungi like he’s always wanted instead of working himself to the bone for the mafia. You’re telling me I’m just supposed to accept it just because she’s got a sob story? And even worse, none of this would’ve happened without you.”

The assassination attempt is mentioned in the story as an offscreen event. In order for it to be true, the man across from you most likely manipulated events so that the attempt would be carried out. Just like he’s been doing for every event, all this time.

You want to lunge across the coffee table. You want to wrap your fingers around his thin throat, dig your thumbs into his carotid arteries, punch his nose in. But you don’t. You restrain yourself, your hands shaking on the table. With his abilities, he could easily make your life impossible.

“Fanfiction is fine. People can write what they want. But her fanfiction has very real consequences on my life and the people I care about. Why would you even help her knowing the harm she’s causing?”

Hypocrite, Floyd has once called you. That author is selfish in that she’s chasing her own happiness at the expense of what she considers minor characters. You’re selfish in that you’re ensuring happiness for yourself and your loved ones at the expense of the author, a stranger to you. You’d be a hypocrite for condemning her, but you don’t mind. You haven’t gotten this far by sacrificing yourself for strangers.

“Why, of course.” The man tilts his head as though it’s obvious. “No story can progress without conflict. You are a supporting character, as are the main male lead’s parents. Forgive me, but such characters are expendable for the purpose of the plot.”

It suddenly dawns on you. You should’ve realized sooner. This man doesn’t see you as a person. He only sees you as another character within a story, a particularly troublesome one who has messed up the plot beyond repair. You might wholeheartedly believe yourself to be a fleshed out human being with thoughts, feelings, and everything else, but he will always think of that as you being a character. His powers and knowledge of the world make him vastly different from you. He cannot talk to you on equal terms.

It’s like if an ant gained sentience and spoke to a human. Even with the ability to communicate perfectly, the ant would never be able to understand why humans enjoy roller coasters or haunted houses, no matter how much either side tries to explain. Similarly, you would never understand this man’s desire to turn stories that are destructive to “characters” into reality. So, you won’t try. You’ll work with his rules.

“I may have a solution to the derailed plot.” You look at him with determination quietly burning in your eyes. “It’s pretty simple if you can do it. Make me the main character.”

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst x reader #jade leech x reader #mafia au #multi chap fic #finally got to this chapter #this chapter is the reason why I wrote this story fr #i hope it makes sense

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awakefor48hours · 9 months

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I'm really glad that it was stereotypical Barbie in the movie that went through her identity crisis because I think it shows just how hard literally every women has it when it comes to beauty standards.

Stereotypical Barbie is supposed to be this absolute beautiful woman but her body is going through changes (pretty minor ones at that) that make her sad even though she's still very beautiful. The movie itself even makes a joke about how having a character played by Margot Robbie call herself "not pretty" was a bit ridiculous. The beauty standards that all women have to go through are really extreme and even women like Stereotypical Barbie can't achieve them.

#does this make sense #i hope it makes sense #barbie #barbie movie #barbie 2023 #top posts

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thediamondarcher · 8 months

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sometimes i think of how the world would be so much better if being aroace was seeing as something completely normal/common. If being aro was much more normalized, it wouldn't be settled that you're looking for a romantic partner and annoying questions like "oh you don't have a partner yet? that must be so sad" are asked to both aro and allo people and it's really annoying for both of them. If asexuality were much more normalized, things like using the words "virgin" or "slut" wouldn't actually be a thing because, if being ace was normalized we wouldn't be pressured or mocked about being active or inactive sexually.

I'm not talking about aroace being seen as "the norm", but if being on the aroace spectrum was a lot more normalized it would be much more easy and not just for us.

#i hope it makes sense #aroace #aro #ace #aromantic #asexuality #aromantic asexual #aroace spectrum #allonormativity

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nieves-de-sugui · 10 months

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A Quick History of BL

As someone who wrote a thesis on this very subject a few years ago, here is the short version of how BL has evolved throughout the years. For the new comers ❤

a minute of silence for the original form of this post that tumblr decied to not save right after I saved it

I am going to go with a chronological approach. Unfortunately, I cannot put everything in one post so if there’s any questions about this or that aspect of the history of BL that you want to know and it’s not talked about here, you are welcome to ask me directly :)

Context and influences - Japan in the 60′s

Before the US forced Japan to open its borders to the outside world in the 1800s, homosexual practices were common place between budist monks, samurais and kabuki actors. During the Edo period (1600s to 1800s) there was a very rich amount of poetry, art, books (such as Nanshoku Okagami (The Great Mirror of Male Love) by Ihara Saikaku) and codes of conduct about how to have a good master/aprentice relationship, kinda like the greeks if you know what I mean. However, with the arrival of western influences, in order to become a more “civilized” country, it was all put in the closet.

Yet, in the 60′s Japan started to pick it up again through literature about young androginous beautiful boys (aka bishounen). On one hand, in 1961, the novel Koibitotachi no Mori (A Lover’s Forest) by Mari Mori was published. It tells the story of a young and beautiful 19 year old worker and a half french half japanese aristocrat, and their tragic romance. On the other hand, Taruho Inagaki wrote Shounen ai no Bigaku (The esthetics of boy-love), an essay on aesthetic eroticism (of which he wrote a lot of). All this was know as Tanbi (lit. aesthetic) literature. It generally refered to literature with implied homosexuality and homoeroticism such as works by Oscar Wilde, Jean Cocteau, etc. And of course, Mori and Inagaki.

In chinese tanbi is read as danmei (term used to refer to BL novels in china today, ie: The Untamed it’s all connected friends).

From the birth of Shonen Ai to Yaoi - 70′s to the late 80′s

Around the beginning of the 70′s, shoujo was being revolutionized by the Year 24 Group, a generation of women manga authors (mangaka) who started to explore new themes. Among them, their interest in tanbi gave birth to a new subgenre: Shounen ai.

Their most known manga were:

Kaze to Ki no Uta (The Ballad of the Wind and Trees) by Keiko Takemiya, and Toma no Shinzo (The Heart of Thomas) by Moto Hagio

Their stories are characterized by having suffering eurpoean bishounen in boarding schools, living an idealized perfect love (meaning passionate) that, despite the tragic end of one of them, lives forever in the other.

As this genre starts getting popular, more and more fans of these stories start making their own self published manga, aka doujinshi, of the genre. It is around this time that the term Yaoi is coined. Meaning “YAma nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi” (no climax, no fall, no meaning). Basically PWP fanfiction, for the most part. Doujinshis could be considered an equivalent of fanfiction in manga form. It is also here that the term Fujoshi (aka Rotten Girl, for liking rotten things) starts being used to refer to women readers of yaoi.

With this rise in popularity come the start of the commercialization of the genre. Which meant the publication of magazines dedicated solely to yaoi/shonen ai/BL. The most popular yaoi manga magazine at the time was June. The common trait of their stories being the therapeutic power of the love between the mains. The traumatized character would heal throught this newfound love.

Most of the stories at this time happened in the West (Europe or the States) as the exploration of these dark themes intertwined with homosexual romance and homoeroticism still feel safer to explore as a foreign concept. One example would be Banana Fish (1985).

Commercialization and Yaoi Ronso - 90′s

As more publishing houses pick the genre up, the term Boys Love is used to include every type of manga about homosexuality made for women.

The increasing amount of BL series sees a changes in its themes:

the start of the “gay for you” trope where one mantains their heterosexuality despite being in a homsexual relationship,

the uke/seme dynamic (mirroring hetero realtionships) also relating to physical appearence (one being more feminine, the other being more masculine),

the use of rape as an act love (sexual violence has always been present but here it becomes a staple),

anal sex as the only type of sex,

older and more masculine men start to appear

they now happen in Japan

Good examples of the presence of these themes in manga are Gravitation (1996) or Yatteranneeze (1995).

However in 1992, Masaki Sato (a gay activist/drag queen) wrote a letter in a small scale feminist magazine attacking yaoi and pointing out how it “represented a kind of misappropriation or distortion of gay life that impacted negatively upon Japanese gay men”. The female readers of yaoi responded, defending the genre as a means to escape gender roles and explore sexual themes that was never meant to represent the realities of gay men. This is know as the Yaoi Ronso (Yaoi Debates).

The debate ended with both sides understanding more of each other, with mangakas starting to include queer views in their works. It also started the academic reasearch of BL.

Yet, it is a debate that has been restarted more than once, as it is still relevant despite the evolution of the genre.

more on this on another post

Globalization and coining of BL - 2000′s

By the beginning of the 2000s BL is being sold all over the world (like all manga), and has become a stable industry. We could say it has finally become it’s own genre.

Some of the most well known manga series, to us (in the west), of the time are:

Junjou Romantica 2002 Koi Suru Boukun 2004 Love Pistols 2004 Haru wo Daiteita 1999

all of these have anime adaptations for the curious ones

We also start seeing short anime adaptations or special episodes of the most popular series, with questionable themes, such as: adoptive father x adoptive son (Papa to Kiss in the Dark 2005), father x son’s friend (Kirepapa 2008), etc...

However the themes remain more or less the same. Junjou Romantica’s love story starts with a non-con sex scene by the older one (masc, seme) to the younger one (more feminine, uke) addressed years later in the manga btw. Koi Suru Boukun’s love story is triggered by aphrodisiacs and rape. They’re still very present in the stories but slowly going away. A mangaka that represents this era could be Natsume Isaku (Candy Color Paradox 2010).

Change is slow in Japan. Even though the voices of LGBT+ people started to be taken into account in the genre it is not until later that we see it reflect in the mangas themselves. However, we can already see the start of this in Doukyusei (Classmates) (2006) by Asumiko Nakamura. Also Kinou Nani Tabeta? (2007) which is actually part of a more mature genre: Seinen.

It is my personal (subjective) theory that the BL of this era was the one that got popular outside of Japan, which is why we see lots of references to the themes, tropes and dynamics of this time in today’s BL series.

The LGBTzation of BL and the rise of webtoons - 2010′s to 2020′s

Slowly but surely LGBT characters and themes enter the scene of BL. Existing simultaneously with the previous tropes and themes, we start seeing a shift in these stories. We now see:

characters that identify as gay or some type of queer

discussions about homophobia

more mature themes about life and romance

At the same time as we get the usual love stories with the usual themes, a new trend starts to take over. And we get simultaneously, cute, sometimes questionable but light love stories:

Love Stage 2010 Ashita wa Docchi da! 2011 Kieta Hatsukoi 2019

More profound stories and darker or more complex themes:

Blue Sky Complex 2013 Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai 2011 (mafias) Given 2013 (suicide) Hidamari ga Kikoeru 2013 (deafness)

And others that adress the queer experience in a more mature way (which might actually fall into the Seinen genre)

Itoshi no Nekokke 2010 (slice of life, queer characters) Smells like Green Spirit 2011 (two ways to deal with a homphobic society) Strange 2014 (relationships between men) Shimanami Tasogare 2015 (an LGBT group helps a closeted gay) Old Fashioned Cupcake 2019 (you know this one 😉) Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu 2020 (the end of the world)

As queer stories are explored, BL mangakas and mangakas from other genres start to consider more stories about queer people such as the Josei Genderless Danshi ni Aisaretemasu (My Androgynous Boyfriend) (2018) by Tamekou, or the Shoujo Goukon ni Itarra Onna ga Inakatta Hanashi (The story of when I went to a mixer and there were no women) (2021) by Nana Aokawa.

Still, we can see two realities live side by side. Doukyuusei gets adapted into an impactful animated movie in 2016, meanwhile Banana Fish gets an anime adaptation that keeps the homoeroticism but not the homosexuality.

For those who might be interested. Here are some of the authors that represent the first half of this era, where they start to include newer points of view:

Scarlet Beriko, HAYAKAWA Nojiko, KURAHASHI Tomo, OGERETSU Tanaka, Harada, KII Kanna (Stranger by the Sea), etc...

And authors that while keeping classical themes break the stereotypes in a subtle manner:

CTK, ZAKK, Jyanome, Cocomi, Hidebu Takahashi, SUZUMARU Minta, etc...

Mangakas also no longer stick to one genre only. They explore whichever of them they want, from BL to Seinen to others.

ie: Tamekou,

or Asumiko Nakamura

The curious case of Webtoons

With the digitalization of mangas, throught Renta and Lehzin, it has become easier (and more expensive) to access these stories. Korea makes and appearence with their webtoons. Through the lack of piracy protections and the majority of them being digital, manhwa (korean webtoons) sees a rise in popularity. Through the digital medium the influencee can be the influencer.

However, like many other East Asian countries they have consumed BL, without hearing about the conversations about BL. So they end up mantaining the older themes and stereotypes that newer BL is trying to leave behind. Therefore, we end up with a mix of old and new, ie:

Killing Stalking 2016 Cherry Blossoms After Winter 2017 Painter of The Night 2019

Additionally, it is also thanks to the easy access to internet that Omegaverse, with its higher dramatic stakes (that parallel hetero dynamics), enters the mangasphere in 2016. It has grown in popularity ever since.

With the Thai BL Boom of 2020, Japan rediscovers its own BL market and starts investing in it more. Which is why we get live action adaptations of BL manga that was popular years ago (Candy Color Paradox was a manga from 2010), the more recent ones (The End of the World With You) or new anime adaptations (Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai in 2020).

more on this in my japanese live action BL post

What has it become now? is it BL? ML? or Seinen? Or is it all just gay manga?

It is clear that Shoujo manga (with BL, Josei and Seinen) is exploring queer themes such as gender and sexuality more and more. Japan is interested in this conversation, not only in manga (Genderless fashion). Which brings up the current question in BL studies: Does it make sense to keep these categories?

As a response to BL, ML (Male Love), which is made by gay men for gay men, started happening (around the 70s too). And Bara (gay manga porn) in response to Yaoi. However both gay men and women read BL and ML. We also see other themes being explored through BL, such as friendship (in BL Metamorphose), food (in Kinou Nani Tabeta), male relationships of all kinds (in Strange), and different queer views on life and its challenges (in Shimanami Tasogare). More and more what is LGBT and what is BL is merging, the line is blurred.

Conclusion

BL has been in my life for longer than it hasn't. It is through shoujo and BL that I have come to understand people and romance.

It is flawed, like everything else this life, but it's flourishing in many ways.

The genre feels old and new at the same time.

We can still find shounen ai/tanbi elements in more modern manga (All About J). Or the gay for you in a new light (Itoshi no Nekkoke). Or more educational manga on queer issues (My Brother’s Husband by Gengoroh Tagame). BL has around 50 years of existence but it is also being born anew in Thailand and Korea.

BL manga will continue to evolve in acordance to Japanese tastes, as it is still a local market. Hopefully the korean webtoons that get popular will be the more daring ones in their themes. Who knows where it will go from here? The only thing we know for sure is that it will continue to change. Isn't it exciting?

A post on the evolution of live action BL in Japan is coming, to complement this post. As well as a more detailed explanation of the Yaoi Debates and gay manga.

#history of bl #bl post series #I feel like I left too much stuff out #I hope it makes sense #honestly I would really recommend reading some of those manga #they're super interesting #soon it'll be 20 years since I started reading BL #my gosh #if theres anything anyone wants to know more about #I'd love to write more :)#yaoi manga #bl manga

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hidedino · 4 months

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i can see it so clearly that Q!Fit doesn't actually want to get a confirmation of how Q!Pac feels about him because then he'd be forced to think about the real possibility of pac reciprocating his feelings and waiting for him to confess.

i can recall two instances confirming this, first when ramón and bad had a conversation about fit and pac's feelings and fit had purposefully moved out of their volume radius. the second one was yesterday when fit was trying to distract sunny so neither of them could spy on the conversation between ramón and pac.

and this leads me to another thought.

i'm wondering here if maybe pac realises that fit does reciprocate his feelings, but doesn't want to confess first because he knows that fit is still not ready for a relationship. and of course, pac might not be fully ready either, but it currently seems like fit is further behind. he's still in that phase when he's worried that pac might become put off by fit seeing him in a romantic way, confirming this by telling ramón that "he doesn't want ramón to scare pac off" after ramón's confrontations.

listen, i know the most common explanation is that they're both scared of confessing because of their insecurities about whether the other will reciprocate their feelings. but there's just something about pac's interactions with ramón which is making me believe he may know more than we're giving him credit for.

when he was answering ramón's pushes at how they should start dating and get married, his answers seemed to be of someone who's perfectly aware that there are mutual feelings which are most likely eventually going to turn into something more than friendship. he was saying things like "maybe in the future i'll really become your dad" and "it is going slow, hopefully we can start progressing faster". and the biggest surprise was that he'd even insinuated he isn't actually sure what their relationship status is, but they're probably just good friends for now (because they haven't talked about it yet).

so pac kind of considers them to already be more than friends in the way they interact with each other. which means, he has to know about how fit feels because otherwise he wouldn't confess all of these things to ramón. also he obviously knew that fit was inviting him on a date even if fit was so worried about admitting said fact to pac. he was fully aware that their entire day together was meant to be romantic.

tldr: seeing that pac seems perfectly aware of fit's feelings, i find it more likely that he's waiting for fit to process them too instead of simply worrying that fit doesn't like him like that.

#does this make sense?#i hope it makes sense #this is what i've come up with after processing yesterday's interactions #but i actually haven't rewatched the streams yet so i hope i've remembered everything correctly #but of course feel free to disagree with me #hideduo #qsmp hideduo #fitpac #qsmp pac #qsmp fit #dino.thoughts

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cametotheshowinsd · 6 months

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feeling so Gatsby for that whole year;

#taylor swift #tswiftedit #tswiftgif #mv #i hope it makes sense #lyrics #a fitz inspired post :)#too many things I'm too lazy to tag 'em all :p

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yourmomsahira · 29 days

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pardon my french but louvrè lage padè hai.

#i hope it makes sense #desiblr #desi shitposting #desi memes #lines #girl blogging #girl core #memes

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ghoostrash · 4 months

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Dating your Ghost roommate is kinda weird sometimes

#my art #digital art #fan art #smosh #ghostmates #anthony padilla #ian hecox #Ianthony?#charlie ross #eddie clayton #chaddie?#again... idk their ship name #the second one is from the outside perspective of the apartment i guess #i hope it makes sense #Ghosmates was a queer movie am i right fellas?

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dirty-bear-rick-sanchez · 5 months

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Thinking about Prime calling C-137 simply 'Wife Guy'/'Dead Wife Rick' despite C-137 being the first Rick to actually escape the goo trap and find Prime and the only other Rick to invent portal travel and I was reminded of that scene in Pickle Rick where Rick is fighting the big rat:

"By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. You were special to rats. Now they're dead. I guess it was me you should have impressed. God damn it, I love myself."

Prime really did think of himself as so far above every other Rick but also had the desperate need to prove that to the very Ricks whose opinions he claims to be above. He definitely was the 'Rickest Rick', not for the reasons C-137 thinks but because of his massive ego and need to prove himself.

C-137 is making progress towards being different from Prime in terms of accepting and admitting to his vulnerabilities and flaws, which I think is very evident in JuRicksic Mort ('you don't get to be so smart that you remove yourself from everybody'). Now that Rick has killed Prime, he's left to confront all the things about himself he hates. His hunt for Prime really is the perfect metaphor for Rick dealing with the fact that he's a bad person - his whole quest to find Prime was ultimately just another Pickle Rick situation where he used the guise of sci-fi adventures to avoid confronting his real problems in therapy. Unmortricken was a massive turning point for him because, for the first time since his Beth and Diane were killed, he finally has to face himself and put in the hard work and long hours to actually confront and improve his flaws.

#rick and morty #rnm #rick and morty spoilers #rnm spoilers #unmortricken #pickle rick #rick sanchez #rick prime #sorry this became a big ramble #i hope it makes sense #because i do not have the energy to proofread anymore and if i save it to my drafts it will rot there forever

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crystallinestars · 11 months

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To Make a Mechanical Heart Beat (Android AU)

In a highly technologically advanced world where human-like androids exist to serve humans, you lived a cushy life as the child of a successful CEO of a large biotechnology company. You grew up in a large manor surrounded by android maids and butlers that served you family’s every need and looked after the estate. Androids were a part of your everyday life, and it was easy to treat them the same as humans. They looked just like ordinary people save for the green power button located under their clavicle. You even made a few friends among the staff and cherished the android nanny you had as a child.

As an only child, your father had high hopes for you to inherit the family business and keep it thriving. Once you became of age, your father purchased you your very own android tutor who would teach you the ways of managing your family’s biotechnology business. The day you received your tutoring android Alhaitham, you were awed by his beauty. Alhaitham was the most handsome person you’ve ever seen—human or android. He had a well-defined muscular build that went surprisingly well with his smooth and youthful face. His pretty facial features were framed by ash-colored hair that looked soft to the touch. He was dressed in a sleeveless black shirt and black pants, complimented by a teal cardigan. His appearance was completed by a pair of what looked like gold and teal headphones to which several cyan wires were connected to, leading down somewhere behind his back.

When you pressed the green diamond-shaped button under his clavicle, Alhaitham powered on. As his systems started up and ran a diagnostic test, the android slowly opened his eyes to reveal the most striking pair of eyes you had ever seen. They were turquoise with orange pupils that seemed to stare right through you. He stared back at you, silent and expressionless to the point that it unnerved you a bit. You were used to the android servants in your manor acting cheerful and friendly as was a part of their programming, but your future tutor seemed to lack such a function. Even so, you were still intrigued by the handsome android, and agreed to have him as your tutor.

Once your tutoring sessions began, you quickly learned that Alhaitham was an excellent tutor. He explained tricky concepts clearly and made sure you understood the material down to the last detail. Even when there were days where you struggled to understand a certain topic, Alhaitham was calm and patient with you, trying out different ways of explaining the material to see what method worked best for you. He carried out his role perfectly, never doing anything more nor less than what was expected of him.

During your time together, you also learned that Alhaitham was a bit different from most androids you had met throughout our life. You were used to the friendly smiles and cheerful attitudes of your house servant androids, and those you encountered out in public such as cashiers and receptionists. Alhaitham was unlike them in that he rarely smiled or imitated any strong emotions for that matter. He spoke bluntly and factually, preferring to avoid pointless conversations and spent his free time in solitude.

You discovered that if you wanted to talk to him outside of your tutoring sessions, your best chance of finding him was to look in your family’s library. Alhaitham could oftentimes be found there, quietly perusing through physical copies of books instead of relying on his in-built computer to browse digital novels. When you inquired why he preferred physical books, he responded by saying he simply liked them better than digital ones, though you suspected he enjoyed the novelty of reading on paper rather than looking at a digital screen or downloading the novel to his memory storage.

To get to know your antisocial tutor better, you occasionally joined him in your family’s library during breaks. You two would read in silence at first, but as you got used to these joint reading sessions, you gradually asked Alhaitham questions, curious about this android’s opinions on various things, be they books or real-life events you saw or experienced. Upon learning he preferred non-fiction, you wanted to try and get him to try fiction for fun, so you recommended him some of your favorite romance novels and asked for his opinion on them. To your disappointment, Alhaitham seemed indifferent towards love stories, and expressed no interest in them but he at least was willing to give them a try for the sake of experiencing something novel. He didn’t seem to understand the appeal of the genre, but you supposed that was to be expected of an android.

Aside from reading in the library, you also invited Alhaitham to your outings. At first, he turned your invitations down in a polite albeit blunt manner, but eventually you managed to bribe him with promises of visiting a bookstore during one of your shopping trips. Alhaitham accepted your invitation then and followed you around the city without complaint until you found the time to visit said bookstore with him. The handsome android seemed enamored by the place—or as enamored as someone as aloof as him could look. There were minuscule changes in his facial expression—the slight curve of his mouth as the corners of his lips tugged up in a small smile. The relaxed arch of his brows and lowering of his shoulders. They were very small things, but after all your time together, you were able to pick up on these changes in him. Something about seeing him so happy made your heart flutter, so you invited Alhaitham to more book shopping trips, and even sometimes to science museums and exhibits he expressed an interest in.

As the months wore on, Alhaitham began to notice that something was off with him. He found himself looking forward to spending alone time with you in the library or going on one of your joint shopping trips to the city. Usually, he would decline such invitations if they came from anyone else in your family, but he always made an exception for you. When tutoring, he stood closer to you than he had before, catching himself analyzing the features of your face despite having seen you every day for months. His synthetic heart beat slightly faster when he was in your presence.

Alhaitham is confused at first by this unusual desire for your attention and time. He ponders why he felt this way. This type of behavior isn’t a part of his programming since it has nothing to do with his role as your tutor. The more he analyzed his symptoms, the more he was reminded of the romance novels you recommended to him a few months back. At the time, he didn’t understand the logic behind feelings of affection and romance described in those stories, but now… now something seemed to click in his mechanical mind. These behaviors and desires he felt because of you… could this be what humans called love?

#I worked on this for 2 days and am so done with rewriting it #I hope it makes sense #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you

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posletsvet · 8 months

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Something about the stories of Trigun & Hadestown

Something about the story of Orpheus and Eurydice being retold for generations. Something about the story of Trigun getting to be told in three different versions (four, if you consider that there are two mangas).

Something about red flowers being the key symbol in Hadestown, with Orpheus singing dead trees to life and bloom in a gesture of undying hope. Something about Rem's sacrifice turning the blossom of a red geranium into a symbol of determination and kindness.

Something about the lost gentleness and bliss of spring. Something about the lost paradise of the once prosperous Earth, which forced the mankind to eplore the frontiers of distant galaxies.

Something about the souls of the dead in Hadestown living with their heads bent down, silenced by their own fear and indifference. Something about the people of Gunsmoke doing the same, believing there's no other choice but to succumb to violence and afraid to raise their voices and speak out against it.

Something about both stories commenting upon how humanity is sacrificed for the sake of survival.

Something about Hades, the King of the Mine, being crippled and blinded by his greed and loneliness and despair and jealousy untill he can't see nor recognise anything other than the needs of the Underworld, but really just his own. Something about Knives being driven by the fear he hides deep within himself, only caring about Vash and their sisters and claiming it's the good of the plantkind that he aspires to achieve, but in actuality just nurturing his own old hurt.

Something about them both loving to the point of obsession and suffocating the ones they love with how they portray what is best for them.

Something about Persephone being blinded by a river of wine, living in an Oblivion and trying to drown her sorrow in alcohol. Something about Vash's issues with alcoholism deteriorating upon the realisation that him going to confront Knives is a march made towards ruin and despair, his goals as good as suicidal.

Something about the Fates always singing in the back of your mind, defining the outlines of people's lives. Something about Knives and Vash's sisters in a hive mind deciding on the fate of humanity in relation to their kind at the end of the story.

Something about each of the two narratives showing how life and love endures, even in trying times.

Something about hunger and biting the hand that feeds because you're starving for more. Something about taking what you can get and making the most of it. Something about the people of No Man's Land pushing the plants to their physical limit and sentencing them to agony of the last run because they see no other option.

Something about 'What you gonna do when the chips are down, / Now that the chips are down?' Something about the pods of the project SEEDS crash-landing on a barren and desolate planet.

Something about the chorus singing 'Cast your eyes to heaven / You get a knife in the back!/ Nobody's righteous, / Nobody's proud, / Nobody's innocent'. Something about how Wolfwood dies the instant he finally commits to Vash's ideals, for the first time in his life choosing to believe.

Something about Orpheus teaching Eurydice that there's still hope for the better. Something about Wolfwood starting to regain his trust in humanity through Vash.

Something about Orpheus being capable of seeing how the world could be, in spite of the way that it was. Something about Vash stubbornly refusing to stop believing there's inherent goodness in every person's soul.

Something about how Eurydice is destined to die in each telling of the myth because the story is non-existent without Orpheus' loss of her. Something about how Wolfwood is doomed by the narrative, being a dead man walking since the very beginning.

Something about Orpheus leading his one true love out of Hell. Something about Wolfwood leading Vash in instead, guiding him to his end.

Something about Orpheus singing 'Wait for me!' on his way down under the ground. Something about Vash rushing to that smoking ruin which the Hopeland Orphanage became in order to help Wolfwood, fearing that he's late.

Something about Orpheus looking back. Something about Vash bringing his century-and-a-half long run from every and all attachments to a hault and finally stopping to look at the person before him, for the first time in his life allowing himself to believe in a future spent together with someone.

Something about Orpheus losing Eurydice the moment he turns to cast a glance behind him. Something about how the next thing Vash learns after admitting that he wants to spend his tomorrows with Wolfwood by his side is that Wolfwood is dying.

Something about Orpheus reaching the end of the road out of the Underworld all alone. Something about Vash ending his journey the same way.

Something about knowing how the story ends and still beginning to sing it again, as if it might turn out this time. Something about how 'far from here, in a distant time and place, the same song of humanity... still sang'.

Something about love. Something about grief. Something about tragedies.

Something about how, after all, we're still singing.

There's something profoundly meaningful to be said about all this, and maybe some day I will be insightful and witty enough to put my scrambled thoughts into neatly-organised, clear-cut sentences, but for now it will be like that.

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