#I havent posted in forever but I had to for today

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i havent drawn ryan homoerotically in a long time and then i instead drew milli0ns knives of trig*n fame sensually like whats going on... ryan cant kiss anybody anymore ?

#milli*ns knives is just existing by himself bc i had to explain his barbieken crotch it amused me #to be fair i have been writing so much ryan i just havent posted any of it heh heh. its there. and theres so many homoerotic pix but eh #i even made a twitter to post them but on the other hand i could just keep them to myself forever. look at them sometimes and be like #damn...that is one awesome drawing.. co-signed.. Me #ryan sure is looking dehydrated today

[iknowyuu]

missed your kiss

txt choi line! (seperate) x reader

// when reader denies their kiss

tags: gender neutral reader, neck kisses (if you know my works then this is a given for u), joking-anger, mentions of clowns and circus as a joke, txt and reader share an apartment

note: sorry omg i havent posted in a bit !! i hit a stump recently but i think im getting out of it <3 this took forever to write so i hope u enjoy !!! barely proofread this btw

♡

✧ beomgyu

you intertwined your fingers with him, tugging his hand, attempting to bring him closer to you. "come awnnn, beomgyuuu," he pulled his hand away from yours, crossing his arms as you followed him out of the bedroom and into the parlor. "i said i was sorry!" you tapped his shoulder jokingly as he made his way to the couch, slouching in his seat. he didn't spare you a glance as used his arm to search around for the remote of the television, only giving up after barely five seconds.

you giggled at his antics and sat down beside him. "please forgive me," you leaned forward to get a better look at his face, watching as he turned his head to the side. "it threw my whole day off.." he stated through his pout. "ah, really?" you sat up in mock-surprise, an idea suddenly popping in your head. "then i'm really, reeaallyyy sorry, gyu," you grasped his hand with both of yours, brining them up to your lips to press a soft kiss to it, "my apologies, prince beomgyu,"

he couldn't help the smile the crawled onto his lips at your joke, scoffing at you before leaning into you, "fiiine, i forgive you." you giggle at him and kiss his cheek, bringing your feet up to the couch as he wraps an arm around your shoulder.

"uh, gyu? where's the remote?" he shrugged. "i don't know, but i don't need any television because i've got you. you're way nicer to look at." he looks over to you, maintaining eye contact as you tried to hide your smile. "aww, beomgyu!" you cooed at him before he spoke up again, "because you're as entertaining as the circus! y'know, being a clown and all." your smile dropped. "yah." you responded sharply.

✧ soobin:

you practically flew off the couch when you heard the familiar three knocks at the front door. “coming!” you yelled, scrambling to the door and opening it. “hiii, soobs!!” you smiled as he leaned in to hug you, swinging you from side to side "hi," he responded through his smile.

you hadn’t seen him properly for around two weeks; lately he always goes to sleep before you, as gets up before you do to all his promotions following the new comeback. it's been hard for the both of you, and since today marked the end of them, you'd planned to spend the night together in your shared apartment.

however, as hours went by, you noticed that he always found some way to avoid your lips; as the two of you were cooking dinner, you hugged him and he placed his chin on your shoulder; when you were watching a movie, you made a kissy face, expecting him to place his lips on yours, but he kissed your cheek instead; in bed, you tilted your head up and leaned into him as he swerved.

finally, as you were laying on his chest and about to fall asleep, you attempted one last time and he turned his head- yeah, you've had enough. "yah, soobin!" you sat up and glared at him. "why won't you kiss me!?"

"oh," he peeked an eye open, "you can go a day without a kiss, can't you?"

you were suddenly thrown back to a conversation the two of you had hours ago, around six in the morning.

"please, [name]-ie?" he frowned at you as he held your waist, already leaning in for a kiss before you pushed him by his chest. "nooo! you're gonna be late! this is the last day, isn't it? you can go a day without a kiss," it was the only day you managed to wake up just as he was leaving, but it wasn't much help, seeing as he had to leave now. you removed his arms from you, pushing him out the door. "bye, babe!" he pouted at you and let out a very measly "bye," before you closed the door and waddled back to bed.

you scrunched your eyebrows at him and frowned. "really?" you couldn't contain your shocked laughter at his response. "i didn't want you to be late!" he shrugged, "i would gladly be late if it meant an extra kiss from you," he stated, not bothering to open his eyes.

you rolled your eyes at him and jokingly scowled at him. "fine." you turned away from him and slept with your back to him, pulling the covers to your shoulder, fully expecting this to turn into a game of who-can-last-longer. however, you were barely away from him for a minute till he scooted closer behind you, wrapping arms around your stomach, spooning you. "sorry," he leaned down to leave butterfly kisses at the back of your neck. you giggled and turned around to face him. "switched up so fast."

he smiled, "only for you," he shifted to place his lips on yours.

✧ yeonjun

"aah! i'm gonna be late!" you rushed towards the door with only a single shoe on your foot, the other in your hand as you turned the knob. "bye, honey! i'm leaving for work!"

you heard scattering feet as the man you called your boyfriend ran up to you. "yah, wait up!" he helped you open the door and you almost turned to run out, but he stopped you, gently holding your cheeks, "love you."

you pried his fingers of your face, instead opting to kiss his fingers "love you too! i gotta go!" you rushed out the door, and in a hurry, slammed it behind you unintentionally. yeonjun stood there in shock and couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth.

you didn't have much time to check your phone during your busy day, but if you did, you'd have noticed your boyfriend didn't text you all day. unlike usually, where he'd constantly check up on you when he could.

when you got home, you were met with a very frowny boy. "jun! i'm home!" you called out as you stepped out of your work shoes and into your slippers. you heard his response, listening for him as he took relaxed steps toward you. "do you wan-" you barely got to greet him before he held your cheeks and placed your soft lips with his own, tilting your head to the side, deepening the connection. the two of you stood like that for several seconds before he pulled away. "hey," he finally responded before walking away. you were left standing there in shock. “you can’t just do that to me and expect me to not want more!” you yelled after him, smiling at the way his laugh rang through the apartment.

#txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt fics #txt x y/n #txt fanfiction #txt x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #choi yeonjun x reader #choi soobin x reader #kikisficz

[dajo42]

long post about substance abuse and addiction

the thing about me is i was dependent on alcohol for a few years and refused to admit it to myself forever until one morning when something clicked and i stopped but for the past three years its been... difficult. like. i still have dreams where im drinking but justifying it to myself like "this one doesnt count". i hate them

but im sober!!! and thats amazing of me

the other thing about me is i was also smoking whenever i could for a few years but also stopped doing that because i recognised it was another unhealthy dependency and... yeah the dreams happen with that too. the buying a pack of cigarettes and being like well these dont count these are a treat or whatever

but i still dont!! and thats also good!!!!

a third thing about me is for a while i was reliant on self harm to process feelings and i stopped that over a decade ago now!!!! thats so amazing of me

but

the most important thing about me for the sake of this post is that throughout uni i also developed an addiction to painkillers and would take numerous different kinds in dosages way above the recommended numerous times a day and it took a life changing conversation with a best friend in a train station for me to realise how unhealthy it was and how it was affecting people who cared about me to see me basically destroying myself like that

and thats

still ongoing!! i havent drank i havent smoked but i have at numerous points relapsed into full painkiller addiction and it fucks me up and my family still think i went to the hospital for food poisoning this time in 2022 but in reality i had been regularly near fatally overdosing for weeks

and its not like i can cut them out entirely because. they are prescribed to me for chronic pain. like. theres this painful line between taking the right amount to function and... feeling like i have to take more because i cant function without them. its like having an addiction to fucking.... water. i need it to live but its so often hard to tell if thats a real thought or if i think i need way more than i actually do in order to live and i fucking drown because the metaphor is about water

and right now i feel like im on the edge of relapsing again!! recognisable feelings and behaviours are creeping in!! and i dont want that!!!!!!

so im just posting about it on the internet i guess? to get the thoughts out of my head? to vent? to hold myself accountabld by screaming into the void? to ask for advice or reassurance? for somebody to tell me gently but firmly not to take more meds than i should. i took my normal dosage today. taking more would be bad and i recognise that but. i dont know. i dont know if i can trust myself not to tonight without being directly told not to by somebody who cares

#substance abuse #alcohol cw #medication cw #self harm cw

[hlficlibrary]

umm hello, i need your help... i havent read a fanfic in a few months and it's starting to feel weird coz i'm literally always reading but now whenever i open a new fanfic i end up skim-reading it and it feels like a dishonest thing to do

so could you please recommend me some angsty fanfic under 20k which are very gripping....

THANKYOU

Hello, anon! You're very welcome! This was an interesting challenge because I wanted to get you closer to 20k than super short ones. And for some reason the angsty ones I could think of are either short or over 20k. That being said, I knew I'd be able to find you some. (ALSO, I promise you that just skim-reading something is a perfectly fine thing to do and there's nothing dishonest or bad about it. Sometimes, we just find ourselves in a place where it's harder than other times to get into a story. That's no one's fault! I do understand the feeling of wanting to really get into a story though, so I hope these fics will do that for you!) I'll put the word count with these so you know how long these are and also I fudged the first one because I think it's JUST what you're looking for and it's just a little over 20k.

what's left of my halo's black by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove (E, 22k)

As Harry sucks lovebites into Louis’ neck, Louis hopes that one day those marks will cover the way he can still feel Alex’s handprints burned into his flesh.

As Harry’s nails drag scratches along Louis’ back, Louis hopes that one day the scabs on his heart will heal and drop away just like the scabs on his skin.

As Harry fucks him down into the mattress, the bed shaking with every thrust, Louis hopes that one day his mouth will forget the shape of Alex’s name, won’t trace it over and over as the heat builds inside him, won’t want to scream it when he comes. Maybe one day he’ll open his eyes, as he slowly floats down from his post-orgasm haze, and won’t expect to see Alex’s face smiling back at him.

But today is not that day.

A year after a devastating breakup, Louis is still trying to put himself back together - but getting over a breakup is hard when you work as a wedding planner. Thankfully, his coworker Harry is the most supportive friend Louis could ask for. But Harry has some secrets of his own, and they send Louis' world spinning off its axis all over again.

bonded by @juliusschmidt (M, 20k)

Louis cannot remember his life before Harry. He had one- Harry is, after all, two years younger than he is- but he cannot pull up even one memory that is not somehow intertwined with Harry.

the one where they are bonded, but it's not like that and they have to pretend like it is

No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16 (E, 17k)

There’s never been anyone for Harry but Louis. He had always thought their love would last forever, despite society’s pressures on an alpha/alpha relationship. When Louis breaks up with him and moves to Chicago, he’s suddenly left behind to pick up the pieces of the life they once shared. Instead of moving on, he finds reasons to keep Louis in his life and in the process begins to piece together what went wrong.

Or an Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry au where they get a second chance to make things right with the love of their life.

You're A Universe by Jiksa / @jiksax (E, 15k)

Harry doesn’t ever mean to hurt him; Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the only thing he ever does anymore.

Or, Louis’s a stay-at-home dad in London and Harry’s a business expat in Qatar. Louis doesn’t know how much longer their marriage can survive the distance.

give me things to stay awake by embodied (E, 10k)

It’s shitty and it’s counterproductive and it’s self-indulgent, but he lets it become a thing. On Saturday nights Harry goes out and gets so pissed he can’t stand, and when the bartender cuts him off he rings Louis and is in his car within an hour. It’s not a cycle he’s proud of, but it’s also something he can’t resist, and he keeps doing it as long as Louis keeps showing up.   AU. It's been a year since Louis broke up with Harry.

#ask #anon #angst #ficrec #embodied #jiksa #allwaswell16 #juliusschmidt #livelaughlovelarry

[protcg]

What are the trends when it comes to writing that you adore?

What are trends when it comes to writing that you dislike?

What trend would you wish to see on here?

What was your first blog / URL?

Do you still have your first blog / URL?

What’s something you find weird on here?

What’s something you wish to improve?

1. what are trends when it comes towriting that you adore?

i always enjoy seeing people shitposting ic! it's fun and brings you so many new interactions easy with people you havent had the oppoturnity to speak before. i know a lot ppl worry about posting crack so they could show serious writing and don't want to be judged & i feel the same way lots of times too, but it's always nice to just let go and have fun and just make the entire dashboard go crazy from one thing you decided to shitpost about!! /o/

it makes everyone feel accepted, bring everyone together and create new friendships. i love seeing this always happening and seeing people's enjoyment & happiness over silly ic shitposting makes me super happy as well

2. what are trends when it comes to writing that you dislike?

hmmm i wouldnt say dislike, i would describe it a bit more of a struggle! i love beautiful novella writing and sometimes try to use it too when my brain decides to work, but sometimes reading very detailed novella is hard for my brain, english isnt my mother language so sometimes i struggle with this, and then i use google translate and google translate cant rlly translate right, AND THEN I GET THINGS MIXED AND... i gotta ask ppl sometime what they meant just to make sure which makes me kinda embarassed and feel bad!!!!! i ofc dont wanna make ppl feel offended when i do that its my main worry! its just my english struggles and im always keep learning!

3. what trend would you wish to see on here?

i loved hosting the hunger games simulation trend in the past on my previous rp blogs when i was writing with everyone. it was also one of these crazy events that everyone went wild for. it was always such a crazy fun tbh and im really looking forward bringing it back again when i make a blog open for writing with everyone!

4. what was your first blog / URL?

i think it was @/evarin which is the username i use in every videogame i play since forever SDFGHJGFDG. it's been about 15 years since so i cant say for certain, but @/evarin was a personal blog that mainly was about reblogging maplestory game fanart n things i like. i also used my maplestory oc as my tumblr icon and he went through so much appearance change through the years both in art and as well in game since

here he is from when i drew him when i was 12

vs how he is today;

my demon baby boy grown up so much since and i love him to death

5. do you still have your first blog / URL ?

nah , long gone. i dont think anyone uses the url either

6. what's something you find weird on here?

everyone being super horny on sundays (love it)

7. what's something you wish to improve?

i def wanna keep improving my english and expanding my vocabulary! it's so i could write faster and answer things faster so that way i won't have to think too hard of how exactly to express what i want to write, or search up for words for too long

#about mun. #/o/

[hellodeez]

HEY! i saw ur pinned post and i was wondering if u could make a story about a POC male and ick gayson. something short and sweet and cuddly but your able to do wat u wish tbh i rlly need this to comfort me LOL no pressure tho :)

Dick Grayson x POC male reader!

HEY IM SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER FOR ME TO GET TO I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FOR MENTAL HEALTH REASONS BUT TYSM FOR YOUR REQUEST!! I love him, es el amor de mi vida 😭 also h/t means hair type

Warnings: short, fluff, bad because i haven't written in forever

Summary: dick Grayson admiring his absolutely majestic boyfriend because he deserves all the love in the world ❤️❤️

THIS POST IS FOR MASCULINE IDENTIFYING PEOPLE IF YOU DO NOT IDENTIFY AS SUCH DNI PLEASE!!

You two were currently at his apartment watching a horror movie. You were screeching at every jumpscare and your h/t hair bouncing with every scream.  He can't believe he managed to to even exist in the same world with a man so handsome.

"Dick? You good babe?" You say with concern because you could feel him staring at you for like 5 minutes barely blinking. "Huh? What? Y-yeah I'm good" he replies, embarrassed that you caught him staring like a lovesick teenager in a corny highschool romance movie.

"You know i love you right babe?" He asks. "Yeah of course- AH!" you cut yourself off with a scream. He is so in love with you. He loves everything about you and everything that makes you, you. Your culture, when you say sweet nothings to him in your secondary/primary language, when you teach him how to make food from your culture but accidentally end up burning the kitchen down, when you kiss him and tell him you love him. He loves you.

"Dick! You're missing all the good parts!!" You whine, snapping Dick out of his thoughts . "Sorry", he gives you a kiss to the forehead and snuggles up close to you, "I just can't help it when I have the best boyfriend ever" he says nuzzling his head at the crook of your neck. If he were a cat he'd definitely be purring right now.

"Well, the best boyfriend ever wants you to watch the movie with him" you say stealing some more blanket from Dick. "Alright alright" he chuckles. "Is that guy the good guy or the bad guy?" He asks. "Maybe you'd know if you payed attention to the movie" you say. "So sassy today...I love you" he says. "Love you too Dick".

UGHHHH I HATE THIS IM SO SORRY I HAVENT WRITTEN IN A WHILE THIS IS TERRIBLE

#x male reader #dc x male reader #dick grayson x male reader #nightwing x male reader #dc #i love him #hashtag #i suck at putting hashtags

[bunny-bandit69]

Dabi x Fem!Reader : P1

Depending on popularity of this one I'll post P2, like I did with my Loki fic, but for now here's for my Dabi sluts <3 Note: this doesn't follow actual mha works or timestamps, so don't get angy at me

Warnings : Slow burn, kinda sad ngl

" Touyaa!! Give it back- This is the second time you've taken it from me! " You screeched, stomping the ground while glaring up at Touya Todoroki, your best friend in the world. " Oh cmon! I know you can get it! " He snickered, placing his hand as high as he could while watching you jump to try and grab your toy. Eventually he caved and handed it back while grinning. " You're a meanie for that. " You huffed, holding the toy tightly too you while he ruffled your hair and replied. " But I'm your meanie pipsqueak. " This made you smile with utmost happiness.

TimeSkip : 18 Years Later ➜

Your alarm blared loudly off beside you but,, you didn't dare move, just layed face down in your pillow wishing the day would fuck off again but alas.. it did not so eventually you drug yourself out of bed and towards the bathroom to get ready for work. " Y/N you're late again. " Shit. You were late by 20 mins this time. " I'm sorry Enji.. I didn't hear my clock in time, this week has been pretty rough. " You muttered, grabbing your coffee while walking past the big burly dude. It had been years now since Touya disappeared and this week marks yet another off the calendar. Enji of course refuses to have any acknowledgment of it, maybe it's too painful for him.

There was another villain group sitting in the city today, leaving everyone on high alert that they may end up trying something, but of course everything stayed queit all day until evening where there was reports of blue flames appearing near the high school which caused every goody two shoes in radius to flock there as fast as possible. You were there first due to your quirk but looking back on it now, you wished you were last. The entire woods beside the school was on fire, burning in bright blue flames.. And right in the middle was some guy in a long coat with burn scars and black hair. " Hey! Stop right there! " You called loudly, looking around slightly to scope your surroundings before back at the male who now turned to face you giving you a look at his face and you thought you'd faint.. He looked like Touya, but also didn't.. His eyes were Touyas.. But his hair and skin looked nothing like the boy you once knew, no he was dead.

By the time you knew it, you did infact actually fucking faint,, now slowly waking up in a hospital wing you groaned from the pounding in your head.. the familiar old lady waddling in to smile up at you. " You havent been sleeping well have you dear? " She asked quietly, causing you to shake your head no and lay back down. " Too many nightmares again. " She only clicked her tongue and pulled your blanket over you while beginning to speak again. " Maybe getting some new friends would help you get over the feeling.. I see you every year during this time, and it's no wound I can heal. Only you can. " You knew she was right but you also were terrified if you let the memories of your Touya go,, he would be forgotten forever.

TimeSkip : A week later ➜

Ever since that day in the woods you'd been stuck thinking,, wondering if that was infact Touya.. and the longer you thought on it, the more invested you became until the point you caved and decided to go against your every promise and try and find the league thats plagued the city for months now.

First you began at the local corners where gangs hung out, making sure to pull your hood over your head enough to not be noticed but,, the blue flame boy was nowhere to be found, so you decided to check any other shady areas you could think of.. to yet again, no avail. And by the time you called quits it was already midnight.. But you felt the most defeated you'd ever been in a long, long time so of course your body made a b-line for a nearby bar that was mostly empty, now stepping inside to see a handful of people around the place. A shadow like man behind the bar greeted you in almost a confused way. " Hello Miss, what can I get for you tonight? " You noted that his voice was slightly anamatronic while speaking, maybe he was just nervous.. The other people around looked like normals, teens with no life or adults wanting to drink their life away. " Whatever is the strongest. " you replied while scooting into a stool at the bar to be comfy while you wait. " Is she that hero who fainted during the villain fight??? " You heard someone speaking behind you which caused your eye to twitch,, fucking paparazzi caught you fainting in the middle of the flames on camera.. and you were not exempt from Enji yelling at you and forcing you to be a desk worker instead of in the field. " She shouldn't be a hero if she's going to collapse in the middle of a fight, pathetic. " And that, one snide comment is what hit you over the edge, now shooting the shot you were given before turning around. " If you have shit to say you can say it to my face instead of gossiping about someone else's life you ungrateful fucking cunts. " You spat, glaring towards the back corner full of teen girls who stared at you in disbelief of what you had just said.

" What seems to be going on down here? " A low cold voice called while stepping down the stairs towards the back, the girls instantly fangirling while looking at whoever it was.. Except when he came into your view you froze, and so did he. " Get out, all of you. " He spat, glaring at the girls before back at you.. But like most girls they didn't listen the first time. " I won't tell you again, get out. " And with that final boom they finally stood up and left, along with everyone else who was a bystander. " Touya.. " You whispered, staring at him for a moment longer before darkness yet again covered your vision and you collapsed to the ground.

Sometime later,, you didn't know how long as your phone and watch were gone, as was your keys and whatever else you had on you. You were still in the bar, just looked like a more run down exact copy of the one you were just in. " Hello? " You called out, groaning at the pang in your head as you sat up fully. " You aren't supposed to be here Y/N. " Someone in the distance called while another giggled. " So this is that childhood chick you always talk about huh? " And then another more strained voice croaked. " She's a hero and knows him, she's bad news to even be here. We have to get rid of her. " And with that your fear piped up, now panicking while looking towards the voices which instantly made your blood run cold, you were infact infront of the entire league of villians. " No! You cannot kill her, I won't let you. " The one you believed was Touya now stepped infront of you, glaring at the other members who stared back. " You would keep our greatest risk alive.. all because of a childhood fling?! I think I'm starting to question your loyalty Dabi.. " The man who looked mostly dead seethed, but you were too focused on the name Dabi.. He was one of the main villains you were trying desperately to catch. And here he was, right infront of you.." I'll keep her. I'll train her not to say anything, I'll break her to be nothing but a loyal dog. " He spat back, this wasn't Touya.. this wasn't the boy you loved, this was some cold demon who just threatened to turn you into a slave.. However, the man who seemed to be the leader only hummed and nodded, looking away now whilst Touya turned to grab you by the shirt and pull you along towards the stairs. " Cmon doll, we got some fun to be had. "

#hornyyy #fanfic #smut #oneshot #dabi #mha dabi #touya todoroki #touya x reader #mha

[sp1lled-lemon4de]

ꨄ︎Bubblegum Bitchꨄ︎ ____________

Fandom: MHA (My Hero Academia) Characters: Mina Ashido x Fem!reader Genre: Fluff and smut A/n: Happy pride month!!! its my first btw...if you didn't know im Pan <3, also here is a cute gay fic :D

____________________ Having Mina as your friend was amazing, she is amazing. She is so bubbly and such a friendly person. You often found yourself staring at her, during lunch or

stealing glances at during classes.

She was your pink mutant best-friend. Key word…was…

You loved and hated your study sessions with her, reason being most of the time you wouldnt even study…

The pink haired girl wouldnt even open a damn book, much less read its contents.

She would usually just sit down and talk about cute guys she sees on the road, literally airport crushes. The chances of you ever getting to see them were very low, and you didn't want to do the math.

At some point it got annoying…not like you would ever tell her… you know what it feels like to get shut out by the people who you think care about you and are interested in what you have to say, especially if its something your passionate about.

But the thing that worried you the most was the fact that your mind wandered, like really far…

you would see her bubble with excitement and her pretty pink lips move with every word, you swore time both slowed down and speed up when you were with her…

She noticed…

Mina noticed your reaction to her 'antics' and how you treated her… she knew but never really said something.

That was until one night…it honestly was a blur for you (listen im too lazy to give you background details, use your imagination for this one T-T)

You could only focus on the pretty bubblegum pink girl on top of you, and how close her leg was to your private areas.

Admit you like it, is what your sinful nature told you, but she was your friend and you have to admit, her being your somewhat crush was ok, but that didn't give you the right to overly sexualize her.

You made sure not to lay a finger on her, scared that you would scare her away…

She opened her mouth and you could see she was speaking, but you were too lost in the moment to focus.

she moved her head between you neck, "can i?" she asked, her hand dangerously close to her destinated area.

You wanted to speak but you were afraid you would let out a pathetic little whimper or moan instead, so you just settled for a nod and a little 'mhm' giving her a green light to let her have her way with you.

Things got heated and you soon found yourself on top of her, her chest and pretty pink nipples exposed for all and by all i mean you to see.

you wanted to touch her but felt so embarrassed by your wants and needs that you just buried your face in her neck.

she let out a small chuckle and a few harsh breaths, patting your head, reassuring you… and the rest was a blur.

______________________

LMAO I HAVENT POSTED IN LIKE FOREVER Had art test today :D art is my fav subject and i think the highest i got in art so far was 91% aiming for higher though >:D Did my painting today the theme was 'night lift' i painted a fancy wine glass and explain the painting and at the back, i used mixed medium lmao...and when i finished one guy from my class and his exact words were "Author/name why you does do everything so good dawg" anyways my classmates loved it and i put tons of effort i really hope i get higher this term :D <333

(TAGS BELOW)

#hugmebringitin-whoooo #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #<3 #smut #mina x reader #mina ashido #mina ashido x reader #<33333

[goodfully]

ahh okay truthfully, as much as i like tumblr i still feel really awkward with it... goodness i feel like an old person that doesnt know how to use social media hfkehfm (like tagging? such an easy way to organize things! but i dont intend to "help ppl find your post" hahaha) but i like rambling to myself a little too much, into a void-like non-void?

anyway i just wanted to talk to myself again about upcoming reading plans hehe! i have about six weeks left before i leave my books and move out for grad school, and its going to be a really busy six weeks too. im really hoping i can finish reading hermann hesse, steppenwolf and elena ferrante, neapolitan novels!!! ahh but i read quite slow and its likelier that i wont be able to finish five books during this time, esp when my brains extra dead and messy while im packing or being with family members. i really hope so tho!!!

hhfh about steppenwolf... only read the authors note so far and ahhhh!!! hesse said that altho anyone can interpret what they read the way they want to, he hopes that his readers wouldnt misunderstand that this book is about man despairing, but rather that it is about man healing and believing. god god god i love hesse i actually havent read that many books by him yet, but im just so excited to finally read this one!!!

okies so i only just finished reading the brothers karamazov today (!!!) but ahh!!!!! seriously my favorite book ever. i wish i had actual words to say about it, now that ive actually finished reading it, but. ah.. words! i really love it a lot and theres just so many lines i wish to never forget. my goodness, the ivan monologues, zosima chapters, and ending speeches at the end of the trial...!!! theyll all forever be with me! ahh theres really too much to say, i think if i wanted to id need to pick one of the many many things from the book in order to talk about it more. i honestly want to bring this book along with me when i move but its so heavy hfjsjf and i have very limited space in the suitcase</3

i think reading about religion and god and everything in general does drive me a bit crazy. from what i know of dostoevsky (very little hahaha), he struggled with faith and believing in god before being a more devout christian. maybe thats why i liked tbk so much. i was just talking about it with my friend earlier! ive.. never been religious growing up but i still have that childish dream wishing that i was. my dads parents were christian and my moms family is daoist, but neither of my parents pushed anything on me, tbh they both didnt have really strong beliefs either. but still now i wish i just had full belief and trust in god, any god or deity.. just please let me believe in anything really. drives me insane. how can you have undeniable, unconditional divine love? i do wish i understood it so well that im able to love everything, but it frustrates me so much that no matter how much im trying to understand it, im not. and i think my interest in philosophy has more to do with figuring out what and how to believe than id like to admit.

i hope no one else sees/reads this but i also kinda hope someone does and gives me book recommendations... books that make me feel like i did during the zosima chapters hahaha

#reading #hermann hesse #steppenwolf #the brothers karamazov #fyodor dostoevsky #jeob “”

[mangoisms]

Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)

I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)

To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?

I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)

He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him

(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)

Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah

okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...

that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....

(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)

in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.

there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?

no no yeah i totally agree!

re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me

exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)

i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.

his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).

but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing

which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.

editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.

i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)

i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.

ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with

but idk at this point they have to give us something 😭 anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.

thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**

#also thank YOU for all your thoughts?? like i said i was Thinkign About This #and i had posts in mind for it and yeah. yeah. i was thinking about it all week HAHA #but also like twin brain moment because you get him <3 he is charming and handsome but he also has SOOOO many flaws and is actually rlly #annoying and puts his foot in his mouth TOO MUCH #so. YEAH. sorry this is long don't feel obligated to respond to All Of This <3 but if you have any q's feel free to ask <3 #inbox #long post

[ayo-cowbelly]

Interlude I: Anakin's Vision

so i wrote this randomly earlier today - i havent posted writing in FOREVER but i thought itd be fun to give this a try. i might tie this into a longer story if anyone seems interested, but for now, here's this ;)

He is the Hero With No Fear. He does not hesitate. He is a Jedi. He is everything and everyone and all of the galaxy’s hopes and dreams live within him. Why are his legs shaking? 

He is emerging from a gorge of lava, an abomination of pain and white-hot rage. His lungs are on fire. The flame within his chest climbs up, up, up, slowly reaching its fingers out through his mouth, scorching the land around him. The fire winds down his body until it’s eating him alive. He watches the flames - they’re turning blue - as they wrap around the dark figures dancing around him - no wait they’re red - and soon those figures are writhing in pain, too. 

Too? 

Oh. He’s in pain. He’s screaming. 

The fire in his lungs is from the screaming; the screaming is from the pain. The whip slashes again, again, again, etching an arc into his too-young skin, again again again. His voice is shrill, and he calls out for his mother. His arms give out from where they were holding him up, sending him face-down into the sand. The scratchy dirt stings his raw skin from where the Master slapped him. It mixes with his tears and gets caught in his eyes. 

Oh. He can’t see. The whip is gone. It was never there. He was never there. 

There… where? 

There’s nothing but sand, sand, sand, eating him up and spitting him out. He emerges from the dunes and is presented to a mother who didn’t expect him, a world who was never ready for him. The galaxy stretches to fit him, but it’s still not enough. 

He is everything and everyone and all of the galaxy’s hopes and dreams live within him.

The sand fills his lungs and it scratches inside him. There is no water to dissolve the sand and not enough love to flush out the trauma. Time marches on. March march march. 

Marching? 

The steps ricochet in his ears as he storms towards the temple. His fury warps the air, like heat on a hot day, as if the Force is grappling with everything he is and everything he is about to become. It’s not what they had in mind. It’s not what she saw when she told him she loved him, that she was dying every day around him. 

Maybe it was. Maybe she saw death in his eyes and thought it was love. Maybe she thought that the rage within him was from long-suffering sorrow and not eternal-fire hate. Maybe she was an angel sent to purify him. Maybe she understood the death in his eyes but her determination wanted to turn it to love anyway.

Love, death. It will not matter in the end. No matter what, everything will be taken. By him. By the world. 

He is everything and everyone and all of the galaxy’s hopes and dreams die within him.

#star wars #the clone wars #anakin skywalker #tcw #clone wars #obi wan kenobi #darth vader #writing #star wars prequels #star wars the clone wars #anidala #padme amidala #tatooine #padme x anakin #padme naberrie #shmi skywalker #palpatine #emperor palpatine #star wars writing #sw writing #prompt #draft

[dril-cipher]

its been ten years can we please have the bill cipher tag back now

sometimes when women have crushes on men its not for interesting reasons someone's brain thinking that a character in a story is a person and having emotions about the character as if it were a person is how human storytelling is known to have worked since before we invented writing tumblr makes money on people posting about their emotions about fictional media products. when people have crushes on characters in media properties, they post on tumblr about it. that's how its business model works. the concept that theres a mysterious x-factor allure to the tumblr sexyman is wholly derived from some kind of naive, excited idea that tumblr invented the concept of having a crush on men in order for something to be ironically funny it has to be ironic. i'm honestly not sure what the irony in sexymen is supposed to be. everyone ive ever seen bring it up seems to have the same breathless and totally unexamined reverence for thinking of The Sexyman as a unique or special or interesting idea. the only humor in it is derived from the presumption that the viewer thinks that its weirder to have a crush on a character from an illumination movie than it is to have a crush on a character from an amazon web series being a fan of the lorax on tumblr and having a crush on the onceler was never different or weirder than being a fan of sherlock, doctor who, supernatural, our flag means death, good omens, or what we do in the shadows and having a crush on david tennant in whichever wig he's in today. if you don't come to peace with this, in four years the future version of you is going to be making fun of the idea that you enjoyed the things you are enjoying right now, with absolutely no self-awareness that this system of adoration and revulsion is cyclical when it was cool to make fun of onceler fans, that didnt make sense, because it was a totally arbitrary distinction about which media products were okay to enjoy and which were not. now that its cool to put that era on a pedestal it ALSO doesn't make sense that onceler fans are considered to have been doing something cooler or more special than anybody else. meta things arent smarter just because they're meta. please for the love of god. i just want to read about the funny triangle. if you humanization bill cipher in my presence i will reflexively pepper spray you even if you are doing a great job, because i am just so fricking tired of how proud everyone is for sanding all of the character design, thematic purpose, humor, goals, and undesirable viciousness off of this one character and then hackey-sacking the resulting anime boyfriend back and forth until the noise of it drowned out any memory people had of the actual 2012 tv show gravity falls you didnt do anything wrong, or that people havent been always doing forever and will continue always doing forever? but you also didnt do anything cool or special. its really not interesting enough to still be examining.

i happen to enjoy the 2012 tv show gravity falls actually. go check the show out maybe, if you're just in here for sans or alastor or whoever and bill cipher is just someone you know about because People Wanted To Kiss Him, Lol.? it won some awards. the front half of season 2 was rated across the board by critics very similarly to its contemporary, breaking bad. stan pines is a really good character? stan pines is a better character than bill cipher, on most methods of measurement, although obviously with my sideblog's URL i do love bill. we had an ARG, it was super fun. we raised money to keep the actual Mystery Spot from going permanently under during covid. the crew went on to do other cartoons that people like, like Owl House, Amphibia, Into the Spiderverse. i didn't keep up with the shows, because i do not usually like kids shows and they didnt grab me? but everyone saw Spiderverse, Spiderverse was fire. if thats your thing, check them out. i just want to read about the funny triangle. its been ten years. can we please just give it a rest and let the show have its own identity away from the gestalt fanon monster of the Sexyman™™ Phenomenon™™ thx

#bill cipher #tumblr sexyman #tumblr sexymen #gravity falls

[metukika]

ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha

maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)

and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU‘RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!

aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!

about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.

but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.

but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.

(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)

now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!

for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)

something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.

when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).

after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.

i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.

that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))

anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).

about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!

my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.

alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.

so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.

look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.

the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.

at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.

if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.

but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.

kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.

he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha

speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways

the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.

do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.

also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.

it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.

its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.

now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.

***

now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!

canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.

lets talk about his past a little more.

souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.

souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)

souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.

anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.

he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.

and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.

but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.

thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.

his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!

in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!

now lets get into his relationship with sonia!

i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)

i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.

this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!

itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3

briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.

hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!

ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.

im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.

now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)

in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3

maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)

but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.

also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.

i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.

i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.

thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.

to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!

this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this

#this post is an investment #kazuichi souda #character analysis #also this is not proofread so expect a bunch of typos haha

[solstinky]

i havent done one of these in FOREVER but @strangewomanlover tagged me so i had to

RULES: shuffle your likes or your favorite playlist and post the first ten tracks

Crack Baby - Mitski

The Queen of White Lies - The Orion Experience

Running with the Hurricane - Camp Cope

Unholy - Ana Eclipse

Kinky - Kesha ft. Ke$ha

Stop the World, I Want to Goof Off - Summerbruise

Liability - Lorde

A Part of Me - Neck Deep ft. Laura Whiteside

Haunted - Laura Les

24 Hr Drive-Thru - Origami Angel

i went with my likes for the variety but i forgot how insane and all over the place they are lol. gonna do my current fav playlist under the cut just for fun

tagging @tater-th0t13 and @gay-alien69 (only if you want to!)

Daylily - Movements

Tell me You're Sorry - Real Friends

God Called Off Today - Heart Attack Man

Your Graduation - Modern Baseball

In Bloom - Neck Deep

Please Don't Cry, You Have Swag - Hot Mulligan

tarot cards - saturdays at your place

Want Me Around - Knuckle Puck

NBTSA - Joyce Manor

Eastbound & Down - WSTR

[phazius]

Id say i havent been around tumblr in a bit but really i havent been around anywhere for a bit, kinda fell into a hole but we are gonna work on that. My WoW guild stopped raiding so I get to reclaim that time so maybe we'll see a return of ttrpg recap posts among other things. My mental hasnt been the best but i do attribute that to just being too busy between work, warcraft, and so many ttrpg games, that when i had a bunch of time off from work i feel like i slept about 60% of the time. Either from just depresso, or the immense amount of sleep debt lol.

As for the ttrpg games they are still moving along.

Strength of Thousands: they've started the last part of book 4 and im really looking forward to book 5

Abomination Vaults: nearing the end of "book 1" probably just a session or 2 left there. Just found The Whispering Reeds and still need to following the spectral trail to its conclusion. They did realize how many secrets they missed when the found the blueprints in Volluks lounge lol. Theyve been doing anything that is the obvious plot line lol.

Quest for the Frozen Flame: my understanding is we are getting close to part 3 of book 2 but we'll probably do a bit more hex wandering before tackling that, knowing that its gonna be a dragon lair.

Outlaws of Alkenstar: next session is the start of the end, book 3 part 3. The boss of part 2 would have been insta-killed by a phantasmal killer if the incapcition trait wasn't a thing, instead we got a close boss fight in a cool set piece.

The Saturday game: we're picking up the start of a new mini campaign later today, taking our pirate characters we played from a conversion of Plunder and Peril into kinda continuation a few levels later. More Shenanigans in the Shackles.

We've also got games laid out forever lol. After Outlaws of Alkenstar, that group is gonna be doing Gatewalkers :D and after Quest for the Frozen Flame we're gonna bring back my first Abomination Vaults group for Stolen Fate which should be mostly out by the time we finish.

#ttrpg #pathfinder2e #life happened #IM SO TIRED

[slaying-the-boots-house-down]

year.... wow. Today marks the 1 year anniversary of techno passing. Its a rough day. I honestly havent gotten around the facts that techno is gone. And I honestly dont think I ever will. I miss him. He has saved me when I was drowning. He changed my life and was someone who I could always go to watch when I wanted to. He was a true inspiration.

If you havent yet, i highly encourage you to go watch Tommyinnits video posted today about techno.

I dont know if anyone will read this even but still. Id like to share my experience finding out the news. (If you dont want to read it skip to the last paragraph)

When he released the video about him saying he had cancer I was at my house with one of my friends at the time. We were both just on our phones so I watched the video as soon as I got the notification. Then I heard. I just started crying but my friend couldnt understand. She said it would get better and be fine. And I believed it. I mean with the couple other videos he posted saying it was going great and how everything was fine had me filled with hope. Amd everything was fine. Fast forward to today a year ago. I was on a trip with my mom sister and friend to an amusement park the next day and was in my hotel. Again we were both on our phones and so when I saw the title of the cideo pop up. I got this sick feeling. I clicked on it and.. oh. Well. I started sobbing in the hotel room pretty late at night flooded with grief. My friend tried to comfort me but it wasnt enough. I so desperately wished I could buy some merch and just couldnt stop crying. My friend tryed to comfort me and turned on tv. I remember not going to bed untill like 3 in the morning. And even then i cried myself to sleep amd didnt get very much rest. The next morning I tried to put on a happy face because I was going to a fun amusement park with one of my best friends. But I was just sad. Left with emptiness in every moment I wasnt rushed with adrenaline. I cried silently in the car and was so upset. And the rest is history.

I miss him alot. We all do. And I think we can all gree on that. But he is never gone. He never will be. He will live on in the hundreds of videos and livestreams of him. All the clips posted online. And he will live on forever in our memories. Because remember,

Technoblade never dies

#technoblade #mcyt